#I really really get lost in details
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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oooh wait so the plot hole of “why doesnt a spirit medium just channel the victims spirit” is literally bc the DL-6 spirit channeling cant be repeated huh
#im so fucking slow I was brushing my teeth thinking abt Gregory edgeworth in mayas clothes#and I haven’t played aa1 so I don’t actually know the details of it in case I get to play it for myself#but they brought up the spirit channeling mistake with misty and how it basically shot down the kurain techniques credibility right#and like. I guess trying to do that again would be a repeat of that incident which ended up with an innocent person being convicted#so Phoenix not only has to channel Mia because she’s the smarter better lawyer but also because summoning the victim#isnt exactly the first time it’s happened and gotten someone the guilty verdict. huh#replaying justice for all 2-4 so the case with Maya spirit channeling#and after playing aa3 I can really appreciate how much thought they put into the fey family and how a lot of the games events#revolve around it.#Mayas powers arent a ‘long lost ancestor’ as an excuse for her having powers. it is clearly and heavily expanded on#and the infighting makes so much sense when you consider the power differences between branch and main families.. and Mia becoming a lawyer#to find out what happened to her mother AND after being aware of that bloodshed and what it means for Maya#the way she chose Maya and didn’t want that for them. the way she put distance between them on purpose so they wouldn’t become like that#and Pearl is acknowledged as having more power than Maya but she’s fucking eight and loves Maya that she doesn’t see that as any#kind of power imbalance. heck when Morgan uses her for her plan in bridge to the turnabout Pearl was happy to do it#because Morgan said it was for pearls good and Pearl assumed that meant it would be good for Maya too and I 😭😭#the branch system was originally made so that even if you weren’t chosen as the master you could still support the family by protecting the#main branch. and the irony of that being the reason why main family members are targeted to be usurped#iris outright rejecting the notion of communicating to the dead and everything the fey clan stands for#there’s so much fucking lore to this and I don’t see it talked abt enough?????????!?????#yapping#ace attorney#as
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How it started vs how it’s going
#Someone get this man a snickers cause this is NOT it#Honestly feels like striker is gonna be a running gag. No disrespect on the episode but striker is possibly the weakest part of the episode#The man has lost control... 🫣#The crazy hair that indicate when a villain snaps is a design detail I really like in animation#How many wanna bet that he is gonna be absolutely feral the next time we see him?#helluva boss#helluva boss season 2#helluva boss striker
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Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂
#Being genuine and having atmosphere/lore/small details surrounding the game does a lot more.#And can we pls have built in emulators or#backwards combatibility on these newer consoles? if ur able to do all this other shit you can give us an official emulator#And ik that sometimes the developers have actually lost certain files data assets etc within the OG games that cannot be regained#But you can make an entire remake no problem🙄 it be feeling like they are getting told by higher ups “do it or else”#Im gen z and idk if its my gen or a combination of everyone regardless of age wanting these remakes all of a sudden#Bcuz i swear i remember most ppl disliked or didnt care abt them now everyone is on board with it???#No game after the year 1999 should have a remake. A rerelease or remaster is fine. But a remake? Do we really need that…#Also game design used to be cute and fun. Whatever happened to that? Wheres my clever save spots and menu screens?#Theres only a tad bit of remakes i have no problem with and even then its not “needed”#i also understand not liking smth due to its art style. But to act like majority of old games looks terrible is crazy come on now.#Why does h0rizon need a remaster and why are u not allowed to buy or download the OG version of it anymore 😐#feels like ppl think OG games are nothing when they are the entire reason#The amplified hyperrealistic my-26k-ultra-supercomputer-made-this remake exists in the first fucking place#regarding limitations of old games and consoles i could understand a rerelease port but they could just add on stuff and leave it alone lol#Emulators also exists guys….#Rant#Other
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#columbo#peter falk#my art#art#traditional art#sketch#(very quick sketch)#(first time working with references)#(and really struggling trying to make him somewhat recognizable)#(tried not getting lost in the details)#(and starting out with big shapes and everything)#(i have A LOT to learn)
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Vlad did not expect this shit at all what the fuck???
You know those twin/sibling aus with Danny and Damian? That but in Vlad's POV
CMON I feel like it's underutilized, given how Vlad has an obsession with wanting Danny to be his son when he ISNT greedy for power and control.
Like Vlad Masters takes pride in thinking that he knows everything about Danny like the creepy bastard he is.
So imagine when shit hits the fan as always with these AUs; Vlad expects Danny to come crawling to him or at least last a few days until he gives up and finally goes to Vlad for help.
But then Danny disappears, and Vlad doesn't know where the brat is. Time passes by, and no matter what, Daniel hasn't come out of whatever hidey hole he is. That is until PLOT HAPPENS AGAIN- Vlad gets a hint that Daniel is in GOTHAM of all places- so he goes!
And most of the time when Vlad finally shows up in these aus, it's of course at the Gotham Gala–time to start shit up!
There he finds Daniel with Bruce Wayne of all people, hanging out with that Wayne's youngest child. Where Vlad sees the eerie similarities with Daniel and the Wayne Boy, minus the eyes and what-not. He sees Daniel staying close to Brucie and his son, that will not do.
This would give Vlad the opportunity to finally mold the brat into his perfect son, and even get Maddie in the process!
But of course, with these aus, Vlad doesn't get Daniel, so Vlad is pissed because how dare the brat choose Wayne over Vlad Masters???
Why would the boy choose Brucie Wayne over coming with Vlad?! Over coming home?! Over his parents?! Vlad would understand, even be elated since usually in these types of aus, Danny has a falling out with the Fentons or it just isn't safe at home anymore.
But after all, this is Vlad's POV: he'd be pissed and confused on WHY Daniel would dare choose Wayne over him, he could support Daniel just fine, he knows what the boy needs.
But the way that angry brat glared murderously at Vlad; and Daniel doesn't do anything to get the Wayne boy to stop, in fact he seems concerned for the other boy who's glare would kill. Bruce Wayne even seemed smart enough to get Daniel and his son away with a smile, and Daniel is letting them.
These people shouldn't be this protective of the boy, given that somehow Daniel ended up in their care. But the way, Danny Fenton seems to trust them enough to know that he could travel with them willingly...
But WHY would he???
#Basically: my attempt at writing with Vlad of all people#If i was a good writer I would've made this more detailed smh 😭#i tried to keep this vague as possible while also not if you get what i mean 😭#i really LOVE these types of prompts-esp the prompts where danny was a completely different person back then too in the league#he knows what its like to end a life so now he chooses mercy despite what Vlad and others do to him#and while Vlad ofc doesnt know the full context only bits and pieces#he does know theres something 'wrong' that the image he wants of danny isnt real if Danny is with the Waynes#meanwhile for Danny: just your average twin/sib au making up for lost time type shi#idk i just really like the idea of how Vlad would react in these types of works usually its the fentons + danny's friends or batfam#Vlad is confused and out of the truth loop as he should let him suffer realizing that Danny really WOULD'VE killed him early on as toddler#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp crossover#danyal al ghul#danny fenton#vlad masters#batpham#danny and damian are siblings#danny and damian are twins#danny phantom#batman
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Off to make mischief and terrible decisions for everyone (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Help they keep appearing#Where have I heard that one before lol#Genuinely! I wasn't expecting to keep drawing them but my pencil kept moving and they kept showing up on my paper!#Especially Gaster but the other two plenty as well#Got to employ a bit of my favourite coloured pencil ♪ I Will find a way to use my blue on nearly anything#Luckily for me they come prepackaged with blue magic so that was easy enough#Wiggly baby Papyrus does Not want to go >:( At least he's not being hurt :(#Some smoking Gaster ♪ I still quite enjoy drawing smoke honestly - fun to get to do so with a character who actually smokes haha#You can see I also added swoopy-swoops to his Lost Soul head - I like it much better for being such a small detail#I think it looks weird in black rather than white but against a white background-#Without them he feels....hmm something. Something old that I don't want#Not like the Classic Lost Soul head tho haha - similar but not quite the same!#I love his design ahh ♪ He's really so pretty but so much of that is in his details! Like the way he wears his clothes or holds his body#I'm always a sucker for that style of turtleneck as well haha ♫#Perhaps his turtleneck keeps the smoke in chest from escaping longer :0 Yet another reason to wear them!#Shot of the little family before things went Completely terrible - before the plates and all that#I'm rather pleased with his hand pose there actually :) Keep an eye on your kids Gaster you've only got the one eye to do so!#And then some silly ones lol - I am desperately curious if animated skeletons would have a hyoid bone#It's not as though hyoid bones are specific to humans! They're just A Type Of Bone! Surely skeletons would have All their bones right?#But in the human skeleton it's not resting against another bone it's just floating there tethered by muscle and sinew#Would it float? Would it rest inside the lower jaw? Would it attach to the neck vertebrae??#It'd probably get caught on his turtleneck a lot easier than like - getting it caught on his neck bones for example#They have a kind of fused canine-teeth-like structure as well they're like a weird set of tongue-teeth lol#It's just fun to imagine ♪ Similar to how the rest of the skeletal body like - magnetizes? to itself :)
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my new OC: cempaka!
she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)
also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)
bonus first iteration under the cut!
i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3
#my art#original character#oc#oc art#art#im in love with her actually#she has 4 brothers all named after flowers#mawar kekwa orkid and melati#not me using google translate literally on the fly i hope im not being culturally insensitive 😭#but anyway they lost their parents at a young age so she was raised by her brothers#shes the youngest by far tho by like 9 years from her next closest brother#mawar is the oldest hes like 40 a very important Leader Of People so he is not very present in her life#kekwa is a doctor and 38 and he travels often for work so he is also not very present but he visits sometimes#orkid and melati are twins theyre both 30#orkid is a scholar and on track to being a professor at a prestigious uni#melati is traveling the world doing soul searching#cempaka is 21 she is literally a baby and her brothers send her back money but shes mostly alone#so she joins a traveling dance troupe and she gets really good at dancing#she meets indra while on the road dancing and performing and she is SMITTEN#like shes just head over heels in love with this man because hes so warm and inviting and he fills a void in her life#he makes her feel so incredibly seen and not alone and the feeling is addicting she cant get enough#ok idk most of the details bc i havent read haydars full story BUT#basically to my understanding yuwei and indra are separated for a while#and cempaka knows up front that indra is in love with yuwei like hes very honest with her about this and she appreciates it#but she still wants a chance because indras the only person in the world that has ever made her feel truly seen and loved#so she tries to be with him to ease her loneliness but it breaks her heart whenever he misses yuwei openly#also AGAIN listen im trying to basically write fanfic for a story that doesnt exist LOLL#HAYDAR IF YOURE READING THIS PLS WRITE UR STORY LMFAO
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Using the excuse to redraw a scene to get better at drawing backgrounds and coloring, but in reality I just wanted to draw my favorite scene🫣
#there is so much more to do as foliage and details on the path and well everything really but my phone is struggling with the layers 😮💨#and ive lost interest 😟 might go back a few times and see if i can get it bacm though#ramblings#doodels
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Sometimes I get a fictional little guy in my head and I have to draw them to release them
#Okay so this was actually supposed to be another idea I had for turnabout ghoul but I couldn't really draw it#so to explain-#it's near the end of turnabout succession when Kristoph is on the stand#don't ask details about what specifically is going on bc i have no idea#but Apollo is really pressing him so he turns to Klavier and says#'Klavier. If things keep going this way I may be forced to disclose a secret that affects the both of us. Is that what you want?'#and obviously Klav does NOT want anybody to find out he's a ghoul#bc at this point in the story in regards to ghoul legalization there have been many improvements#but ghouls are still illegal and heavily stigmatized against.#So now Klavier is practically begging Apollo to stop bc he can't let that get out#but Apollo manages to convince him to pursue the truth anyways#which means kristoph tells the whole court they're ghouls#leading into an extra case where 'whoops now we have to completely decriminalize ghouls for existing'#and it's Phoenix's first case after getting his badge back#bc while the whole apollo defending klavier thing like phoenix and edgeworth is cute#it's far more impactful for the guy that lost his badge to defend the one who took it away#bc it really shows he doesn't hold a grudge against him at all#anyways I should stop before I hit the tag limit#ace attorney#ajaa#klavier gavin#Luci's art tag#turnabout ghoul
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(pulled from this tweet, credit here)
#i um#i meant to save these like 15 minutes ago but every time i came back to them i got distracted staring for a while#these would both make such incredible painting references#the lighting and pose and everything in the second photo is really fuckin me up#just so many little details i can get lost in looking at these pics#sleep token#sleep token vessel#may cannot come soon enough i am starving for content
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And I'm still full of the love you want
#edit: it showed up for a minute and then disappeared again in the tag... yey.....#sooo i kinda got lost in it and finished it yesterday#have some P A I N in the morning#sleep token#sleep token fanart#this is the one that started out as a small offering but it really did not fit at all and then i got an other idea for that anyway#which is much better but you'll see sooner or later when i get to it#sooo i guess this is a new take on the love you want?#or something.. at least the lyrics make it extra painful#i'm also borrowing Misha's detail shot thing because it looked cool and i wanted to try it#Misha did it better no question but i gave it a go at least#annnnnyway#vessel#vessel fanart#vessel i#vessel sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw
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miskellaneous
#tumblr is still my doodle archive#my art#venitas#ffxiv#kh#sprawl au#ooooo veni you are so creature#first of all. Bunny. Bnnuy. I would like to consider the bunny. Sorry for trapping him he’s doing plot in my brain#I drew vani a while ago but I should have made him a catboy. I will next time I draw him#second of all back in pic order#ari is trying to be kind but violence is extremely fun for him. He loves it. He loves to gloat and he loves to cackle#if he’s allowed at a target for his pent up rage and aggression he gets weird#second of all I’ve been thinking about gender as one does. And what it would look like 5000 years in the future#so like in sprawl. there’s an entire timeline of gender studies and anthropology that leads from our time#through where the entire notion COMPLETELY fell apart; through where there was a resurgence of ancient gender roles#back and forth and in circles and where new things sprung up and fell and debates about the validity of self went nuts#Xion knows a lot about it bc she will claim trans as a label vanitas also knows a lot of things because he Doesn’t consider himself#trans. vens confused he was literally never taught about any of this. unity(divine) has its own… kinda messed up way of doing it#he got lost somewhere around the advent of gene augmentation and nonhuman drag (she didn’t have to go into that detail she just thinks it’s#really cool)#(Also that was really early —)#Anyways. vanitas is also getting his sense of touch back up there. xions a miracle worker#transgender is even a slightly archaic term. it completely died for about a thousand years and then came back with a retro wave
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Trying to draw superbia 🥲💜
#bang brave bang bravern#superbia#yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern#chips's work#im so glad there's a human ver o can finally draw him fhdbbdvfdh#someone told me if u get a complex character just try making chibi of them#it really works fbhdbd#bc rather than getting lost in the details i just focus on the important parts
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A Pair of Delightful Comms for a Friend 💚
#my art#commission#object oc#These were incredibly fun to do and I had a blast doing them!!#I'm still aiming to improve clutter in my work and it feels like with these two I'm forming a better understanding of my own process of it#When it comes to my work like this backgrounds and scene elements more so pop into mind#Like a wave in a river. And the details I add afterwards are sticks and leaves that I just find and drop in#Light enough not to get lost in the detail of the water but not too much to complete muddy the water itself#I'm a personal sucker for tons of visual information and things to look at in art so thinking like has been a nice help so far!!#I'm just happy my water is readable so far it seems hehe#Also side note these designs are just REALLY fun#There's a lot going on in them by once I get into the swing of them I was just to help I figure it!!
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