#I often wondered what happened to neo soul

[cinamun]

Bruh...

My friend @nepotisim just gets me, knows me so well y'all. Y'all know I'm a UNSALVAGABLE music nerd and I'm always looking for new flavors. Well... This is one of those cases where I was not expecting the artist behind the voice like AT ALL. But the sound???

Excuse me if i'm late to the swsh party but when I say Spotify went in the most beautiful direction after I played it and now I'm rocking the likes of Ogi, Jerome Thomas, Enny, Gaidaa, Jorja Smith and Greentea Peng?? Like this is a whole different Spotify and I am EATING!! Look em up and TRUST ME on this.

[jigeuminunbich]

cherie amour | han dongmin (taesan)

synopsis in which dongmin finds himself falling head over heels for the regular that comes into his job (at a vintage record shop) every afternoon.

genre college!au, fem!reader, s2ls (strangers to lovers), and fluff

warnings halfway proofread ngl, kinda has a princess & the pauper vibe (reader is quite privileged & goes to an elite college), quite a few awkward pauses and bashful stares, and dongmin can’t flirt for the life of him

word count 2k

a/n first ff out of the neo realm, hope you all enjoy!

track-list my cherie amour x stevie wonder, can i call you rose? x thee sacred souls, and all i do is think of you x the jackson 5

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Dongmin’s face. The rickety fan his boss had found from storage was doing absolutely nothing to shield him from the wrath of the summer heat— and the fact he refused to turn on the air conditioning wasn’t helping him in the slightest either.

Despite feeling like he had been transported to the sixth circle of hell, Dongmin didn’t mind his job, it had actually been a juvenile dream of his to work in a place much like this. Somewhere with artifacts filled with history, antique furniture and decor, a devoted community of customers— and surely, that’s what he got following being hired for this position.

But he definitely wasn’t expecting to be overworked as one of the few underlings for his incompetent boss who had inherited the place and having to endure the smell of what could only be described as vintage.

The continuous buzzing of the fan that whirred beside Dongmin’s propped, beat-up sneakers was muffled for a brief moment as in came one of the meager reasons he decided to put up with his job— only, even.

You.

Following the chime on the door, a wave of heat entered the record shop but you graciously came with it, so Dongmin couldn’t really complain. You greeted him with a smile as he hurriedly straightened in his seat and adjusted his posture stiffly. The smile was returned to the best of his abilities, but he’s sure it came off wonky and jarring.

Silently, you waltzed around the shop. It wasn’t very big, and he’s positive you’ve walked each aisle at least a few dozen times but it still had you coming back every other afternoon.

It was ritualistic for you to stumble into the small-scale record shop nestled between an antique boutique and a genuine crystal shop— Dongmin had become hip to this months ago when he had first began working here. Though, it was obvious to him that you had been doing this a lot longer than his time, judging by the way you interacted with veteran staff and even that dense boss of his.

You were around his age, clear from the cardigan you wore that was proudly embroidered in fancy cursive of what he discovered was your home school— the elite college that rivaled his. It had been an initial thought of his that maybe you were an alum and just liked the comfort that the sweater offered but after miraculously seeing you at a rival game between your two schools’ football teams— he knew for sure that you were close in age.

Unfortunately for him, those were the only details he had found on you. Alleged things about you floated around between his coworkers and to his own ears but he ignored them for solid truth. The truth was, you were clearly a devout music lover from a realm he didn’t know of, a school he could only dream of attending, and a lifestyle he had absolutely no experience in.

“Anything new that you recommend?” At the arriose sound of your voice, Dongmin came to a realization that he had been staring at you for far too long.

Under your curious gaze, he stilled. Nearly forgetting to breathe over the fact you were speaking to him. Another fact he had come to realize, is that you enjoyed your solitude. It wasn’t often that you spoke to him outside of your purchase of a vinyl or the rare CD. But when you did, Dongmin always fell into the same trap as if it was happening for the first time again.

“I—uh— what’s your genre?” He knew this already. You had an affinity for 60s music— he came to conclude from the dozen of vinyls he had previously rung up for you.

You hummed, glancing to the spotty ceiling as you contemplated. “I always go for oldies. Anything recent that you like?” As you asked this, you drew closer to the counter where Dongmin was quickly breaking out into a cold sweat over the fact you were verily nearing closer to him.

Your eyes didn’t waver from him, it was clear that you were genuinely interested in his own opinion.

“Well, I don’t listen to too much recent stuff myself, actually.” He managed to respond, not having the capacity to filter his honesty.

Now opposite of him by the counter, you giggled. Dongmin swore his heart skipped a beat, or two for that matter.

“Well, I guess you’re no help then?” Your voice lilted with humor, your head tilting.

“Heh. No, I guess not…” To Dongmin, he was sure your bout of conversation would end here. You would choose something along the lines of your usual, get rung up with some sort of small talk, and go on about your day while he finished out his shift wallowing about how he wished he could’ve said more to you.

“What’s your genre, then,” you squinted momentarily to double-check his nametag. “Dongmin?”

For a moment, Dongmin had forgotten his name was his own. You watched him blink at you for a few beats before visibly collecting himself.

“Me? Well, I like rock— like Nirvana and My Chemical Romance. But I like easy listening stuff too…”

You nodded, “I assumed just as much.”

Dongmin’s eyebrows shot up into his fringe, eyes wide with surprise. “Really?”

An endeared smile etched onto your lips instantly. “Yeah, every time you’re here they’re always playing over the speakers. But I hear the Carpenters every now and then, too. You have good taste.”

Dongmin fought the flattered expression that attempted to spread across his features, clearing his throat in an effort to swallow his excitement. “Thanks.”

You nodded, a silence floating in the air as you two both seemed to wait for the other to carry on the conversation. With the atmosphere starting to feel cramped, you open your mouth to ease the awkwardness but Dongmin thankfully beats you to it.

“We—uhm— actually just get in some new vinyls that I think you might like…”

You visibly perk up at this. “Did you?”

Dongmin nods, his tone coming off a bit hesitant. “Well, you get a rotation of the same artists, I noticed…”

Your laughter eases the weight on his shoulders, he finds himself smiling fondly as you nod your head in agreement. “No, yeah, I do. I guess I’m quite predictable,”

Dongmin shrugs. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I think your music taste is good too.”

You find yourself smoothing a hand over your jacket, flattered. “Thank you,”

“No problem.”

You both lock eyes for a beat longer than expected, your own being the ones to flit elsewhere as could feel the flutter of butterflies swarm in the base of your belly. Dongmin’s gaze on you is only interrupted when you clear your throat before speaking again.

“Did you want to show them to me?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry,” As if he had been split from a trance, Dongmin lurches back into reality to begin leading you towards a dusty corner of the shop.

A giggle leaves you as you follow close behind. “No worries.”

It’s safe to say Dongmin did not fabricate that the new selections would be to your liking. You find yourself rifling through the crate carefully, multiple familiar artists’ cover arts calling your name. Dongmin can’t help but admire you as you work your way through the vinyls with pure amazement in your eyes.

“Anything catch your eye?” He gestures toward the basket that you were leisurely searching through.

Your gaze shifts upwards to where Dongmin is standing, sheepishly remembering that he was there. “A lot. I’m supposed to be on a budget for stuff like this but— Oh my god! I’ve been looking for this,” you excitedly pull out a yellowed Lesley Gore vinyl.

Dongmin’s amused laughter catches your attention and you roll your eyes at him before shaking your head. “Damn, why’d you have to know me so well?”

“Heh. I can get you a discount, if you’re interested?” Dongmin approaches you, delivering his sentence carefully to test your reaction.

You jerk away in surprise, shocked that Dongmin would even offer to do that for you. But you can tell he’s genuine as he watches you intently awaiting your response. “No, no. I just need to practice some self-control…”

“You sure? I can’t promise that old guy won’t buy up all the Marvin Gaye in here…” You follow his hands as they skim the top of the distressed and begrimed vinyls, almost like a hypnosis.

A huff leaves you, the memories of your elder competition that most likely had no idea was your competition coming to mind. “Shit— you’re right. Okay, fine. I’ll indulge myself just this once.”

You decide to humor Dongmin and yourself, picking through the crate again to remove several LPs that caught your attention. Dongmin nods, finding confidence in being able to bond with you. After you make your final decision, you both head back over to the counter to finalize your transaction.

“You didn’t have to do this, y’know. I’m sure this is actually against the rules…”

“Nah. It’s fine my boss does it all the time for customers he likes too—“ Dongmin realizes his slip of tongue a little too late, his expression reminding you of a deer in the headlights.

“Really now?” You muse.

“Uh—yeah,” Dongmin coughs. “That’s your total…”

Your eyebrows jump instinctively at the outcome, gladly digging around in your bag for your card. “Damn. I’m glad you like me because inflation is killing me right now, here,”

Dongmin accepts your payment and you don’t miss the way he avoids your eyes bashfully. When everything is squared away, your hefty bag in hand, he decides he’s capable of addressing you head on.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around then?” He visibly forces out, internally hoping it comes across as natural (he doesn’t).

You nod automatically but have a sudden train of thought that you decide to take a chance and verbalize. “Actually… do you get off any time soon?”

The boy across from you is clearly stunned at the inquiry, blinking at you a couple times before answering. “Uh— in about an hour, actually…”

“Cool. I’ll be at the café across the street, if you don’t have anything to do that is… I feel like it’s only right that I repay you…” The last of your sentence trails off as you feel you’re rambling on, but Dongmin couldn’t have looked more interested in you.

“No! I mean, I don’t have anything to do— I’m free, yeah.” Dongmin shuffles, setting himself in a pose that he hoped conveyed how nonchalant he wanted to be but was clearly failing to do so.

You find yourself amused with his antics— a bit flattered as well. “Alright then, see you in an hour?” He nods intently while he watches you back away from the till.

“An hour it is.” He affirms, returning the wave you spare him before the shop’s door chimes again. Promptly, your warmth leaves him to the humidity of the shop. But he holds his pose knowing he’ll be engulfed in it once more.

© jigueminunbich ‘24

[fallen-savior-mmz]

Fallen Savior Chapter 2;

Burning Bridges-

X huffed, his body aching as he twisted and stretched. His armor pulled and pinched at his sore muscles, never fitting quite like it was supposed to. He wished that his synthetic muscles and bones wouldn’t hurt like they did, but he supposed it was another sacrifice he had to make. 

The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few, and he was only one tired, old reploid.

The concept of age never really had bothered X before. He knew he was old, he had been old since the day he awoke. He had never felt old, and he certainly never looked it. Even now, nearing 300 years of age, X still retained his ever youthful face, as if he had just turned 20. His systems were ever evolving, always two steps ahead of current technology.

That didn’t change the weariness he felt all the way down into his soul. It didn’t change the sheer centuries worth of emotions and physical trauma he had endured. Mega Man X was exhausted, deep down into his core. 

X was old.

His head pulsed in pain when he heard a knock at the door. He groaned lightly, stretching one last time as he got up to make another sacrifice. 

X opened the door, greeted by two young, Neo-Arcadian soldiers. Reploids from the looks of them, and still new to the world. Their eyes hadn’t seen the Elf Wars, they must have been created after.

The tired angel sighed, what would prompt such young souls into a life of danger and violence? He had seen it so many times before, far too many bright young souls lost.

He remembered a reploid not unlike himself in his younger days, his auburn hair flying wildly out the back of his helmet, his X-shaped scar across the bridge of his nose adding to the mischievous air about him.

Oh how X dearly missed his friends! That particular stab of nostalgia and grief left him as quickly as it struck him. He had work to do.

“Greetings Master X, Dr. Weil ordered us to escort you to the docks for today’s patrol.” one of the young men spoke, a slight waver to his voice. It wasn’t often one got to meet the Legendary Mega Man X in person. 

X nodded, his armor glinting in the dim light of the inner sanctum as he stepped out of his quarters and into the hallway.

“Very well, I thank you for this. Let’s be on our way.” X didn’t wait for the two young men, stepping away and down a path he hadn’t taken since the Dark Elf was sealed. Even now, he felt her tugging deep in his core as he walked further and further away from Yggdrasil.

This is a mistake. Please don’t let anything happen, please…

X pleaded in silence. Was he pleading to Zero, or perhaps Dr. Light? Maybe he was pleading to some foreign higher power. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was the feeling of dread filling his entire being had only increased tenfold since the previous night.

He was vaguely aware of the two reploids behind him, whispering excitedly to one another as they walked.

"It's amazing, he's amazing!"

"I know, I never thought we'd ever meet him, he's shorter than I expected but he's still so cool!"

X almost smiled at that, reminded of his own days as a Maverick Hunter. Long ago, he had been that starry eyed hunter, gushing about meeting someone with so much perceived power.

Power...what power, as if it could stop Omega and the Dark Elf. Power is a false god that too many spend their lives praying to….

Ah, Zero, when did I get so philosophical? Wallowing in my own sorrow…

With X’s mood now soured beyond repair, he ignored the reploids behind him as they continued their journey.

On and on, the hallways of Neo Arcadia’s inner and outer sanctums stretched, making X wonder if he had forgotten his way to the outside world.

He had helped design the city, been one of the ones there from its initial concept to its construction after Omega had been defeated. He should know these hallways, shouldn’t he? Was that how out of touch he had been with everything?

Grief and sheer exhaustion had muddied many of his memories of those days, only able to glide through each waking hour with the help of his Council, even Dr. Weil. He really should thank the man more for guiding him through that tumultuous time. Even now, the managing of his schedule kept him from slipping too deep into depression. 

He really ought to thank his council, even when they frustrated him like this.

Just when X was beginning to wonder if he’d need to ask the young men behind him for reassurance that he was in fact, heading to the loading docks, the hallway turned, and opened up into a large, cavernous room. Trucks of varying sizes were parked all around the room, tanks and other war machines from the Elf Wars lined the walls. The wall farthest from X had been opened, leading out into the desolate air and empty highways. Early morning light streamed through, causing X to wince and have to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

A kind of hush fell over the reploids and soldiers in the room, everyone watching their leader step forward and walk towards the open door. X felt the Dark Elf’s connection to him thrum, the pain seemingly magnifying with every step, as if she could sense how close X was to leaving Neo Arcadia.

He ignored her, his mind solely set on the clear blue sky and warm sunlight in front of him. It had been years since he had last stepped outside of the sanctum, years since he had truly felt the sun’s golden rays on his body.

Mega Man X gasped when he fully stepped outside of the city, the seal on the Dark Elf and himself straining under the force of her attempting to escape, the term “dormant” being used incredibly loosely for her containment.

X again ignored her as he sighed happily, the sunlight muting the pain he felt through their shared connection. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed being outdoors, feeling the sun on his face and warming his body. Even with the stress of the Dark Elf, he hadn’t felt so content in years…

“Master X, I’m sorry to disturb you, but the convoy must leave on time. If you’re ready…?” one of the convoy captains stepped forward, calling X back from his basking. The android reluctantly returned to the trucks, leaving that tranquility and blissful feeling at the entrance to the garage.

The convoy captain that had approached him led him to his vehicle, introducing him to the reploids that would be accompanying him on their patrol, including the two young soldiers who had escorted him here. 

X offered them a small smile, a distant echo of the commander he used to be, before turning back to the captain. It was the least he could give them for being kind to him.

“So, our route will take us around the wastelands to the edges out the Forest of Dysis, and then back through the Old Residential District before we return to Neo Arcadia. The patrol shouldn’t last for more than eight hours.” the captain finished his report of the route to X, looking up at him to ensure that the android was listening.

X nodded, mentally tracking what kind of route that would be and how close to the forest they would get. A little flicker of hope sparked in X’s chest that maybe they could scan for Zero, just to see if maybe, in some one in a million chance that he was still alive, that they could find him.

He stamped that hope out as quickly as it appeared, not letting himself believe even for a moment that his husband was still alive.

“This all looks excellent Captain…?” he glanced up at the reploid again, asking for the Captain’s name.

“Captain Tria, Master X. Dr. Weil assigned me as leading Captain today.” Tria answered, holding his hands behind his back. Pride seemed to radiate off of the reploid, being Weil’s chosen clearly doing a lot for the young man’s ego.

“Ah, thank you Captain Tria. I assume we’re in safe hands then. What kind of opposition will we be facing?” X wished they could stop discussing the mission and just leave already, his entire being wishing it could be back out in the sun, ignoring the Dark Elf’s prying connection.

“Rogue pantheons and mechaniloids, mostly reported here, around the edges of the Forest. We’ll check as thoroughly as we can there before we send any salvage teams.” Tria held a data pad out for X to take, a holographic map showing little red dots where higher activity had been reported.

X sighed, rolling his shoulders to help alleviate the stiffness in his joints and chase away the dull pain. He handed the data pad back to Tria, walking over to his assigned truck. He was pleased to find that his buster had already been placed in the truck.

X’s iconic Mega Buster had been lost long ago in the wars, his entire arm having been smashed beyond repair by Omega during one of their later conflicts, the reploid’s mad obsession with violence finally taking full hold as he had attempted to shred X apart piece by bloody piece. 

X supposed he had been lucky to make it out of that one. His arm hadn’t been so lucky.  He found, however, that he actually preferred the buster he had now to the old one, instead of it being an actual weapon attached to his body, being a hand held pistol. He liked that his weapon was no longer part of him, something he could separate himself from whenever he wanted.

It was freeing, in a grim, morbid kind of way. Something capable of so much destruction being ripped from his very being.

X ran his hand over the weapon, hesitant to use it again after so long of leaving it. His “gut” twisted as he realized it had been years since he put the weapon down, and here he was, picking it back up again.

“Master X...are we ready to proceed?” Captain Tria spoke from behind him, clearly anxious to get going.

“Yes, lead us out. And let us hope for an easy mission.” X spoke, not turning to face Tria, drowning in his memories once more. He mindlessly boarded the truck, taking the passenger seat so he could help watch for any potential threats.

The convoy set out onto the highway, X’s truck taking the middle spot. As it drove out onto the open sea, the android’s eyes were drawn to the ever turning blue expanse, watching as they crashed against the pillars holding the highway up.

Melancholy filled him as he watched the water, just as it always did when he looked at the ocean. The deep blues and greens reminded him of his younger days, days spent with Zero and his friends in between wars. Precious memories that he held close to his heart. He visited them more often than he cared to admit, allowing himself to experience what little joy was still to be had in those days.

Sure, they weren’t perfect, X knew that. He was a hunter, a unit commander, and carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

But they were there to help me. Alia, Signas, Douglas, Axl, Palette, Layer…

Zero…

X didn’t pay attention the rest of the ride, the Neo Arcadians in the back of the truck conversing and laughing, living their own lives as X lived out his memories in silent torture. Hours passed, the ocean fell far behind them, and the great leader of Neo Arcadia existed only in his mind, even the Dark Elf’s incessant beating against his systems falling into the back of his consciousness.

Captain Tria’s voice brought him back to reality, along with the sheer strain his body felt as the connection between him and the city stretched so far. X almost gasped as he was suddenly made aware of his current existence, the pain from the seal taking his breath away for a moment. It had never felt this intense before, not even the initial sealing itself had felt this painful.

X pushed it aside as he answered the Captain’s call.

“Master X, we’re approaching the Forest of Dysis. We will be slowing the convoy down and scanning the length of the highway. Please be prepared to alert us and make contact with any mechaniloids or pantheons you may find.” Tria instructed, the convoy slowing as it approached the raggedy sea of half dead trees. X pinged back a quick confirmation before grabbing his buster and climbing out of the truck.

The driver spluttered, attempting to call him back in as the vehicle was still moving, but X ignored him, the pain making him act somewhat rashly.

He positioned himself on top of the truck, buster in one hand, and his other hand placed gently on his helmet. Dr. Light’s armors and upgrades from all those years ago paid off, as his scanner was more advanced than most around, even without the Second Armor.

Meticulously, X began scanning the surrounding area, taking time to ensure he swept every possible crevice around, the Neo Arcadians below waiting and ready for Mega Man X to call out the signal of an attack.

But none ever came.

As they continued down the length of the highway, X became increasingly confused. Nothing was coming up at all, no stray pantheons, no mechaniloids, nothing. 

Captain Tria called for the convoy to stop as they neared the end of their route. X leaped from the top of his truck, wincing as the landing shook his already aching body, the pain still heavy enough to cause him to hesitate before making his way to Tria’s truck.

The captain himself sat in his own truck, puzzling over the data pad he had shown X earlier. The android rapped his knuckles against the side of the man’s door before opening it.

“Greetings Master X, I’m just ensuring that we have the correct route here. This doesn’t make any sense…” the man muttered, his eyes still glued to the data pad in front of him.

“Maybe we got lucky this time. I scanned every inch of this highway and there's nothing out here. Is there any chance the data is wrong?” X scanned their immediate area again, unsurprised to find everything coming up as empty.

“No, no...This was the latest report we got from the last scouting mission. This is supposed to be the most updated data we have. They couldn’t have all just...vanished, right?” Tria looked up at X, clearly attempting to appeal to X’s experience and wisdom.

“You’re right they wouldn’t. So either your data is wrong, or something went wrong with the equipment. One thing is for certain though, there’s nothing here. We might as well head back.” X glanced in the direction of the city, its shining gold and white pire completely lost in the distance now.

Tria nodded, tossing the data pad to the side. “Yeah, you’re right. There’s nothing around so we might as well go home. Thank you for coming with us on this mission Master X.” the man gave a slight smile, his eyes tired and almost regretful.

What would Tria have to regret about an uneventful mission? X decided not to think about it, as the only answer was that he WANTED the violence.

“Of course, I’m only grateful for a quiet expedition. I hope we have the same peace on the way home.” X responded, patting Tria’s door twice before slamming it shut and returning to his truck.

In a few moments, the convoy started again, the scanners still active but not being as closely monitored. X turned his off, instead focusing on blocking out the pain from the Dark Elf and relishing his remaining time outside.

As dangerous as the escapade out of Neo Arcadia had been, it felt so relaxing to be out and in the open air again. Much of the planet had been destroyed and polluted by centuries of war, so “fresh air” was a stretch, but the sentiment was there.

The convoy set off for the Old Residential District, still scanning the area as it went. Many of the Neo Arcadians in the back of the truck took to napping or sitting silently as they made the journey home. X found himself slumped against the window, his eyes threatening to close. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a proper nap. 

Probably not since before the Elf Wars. Maybe his last nap had been wrapped in Zero’s arms, safe and sound before the world descended into chaos.

X imagined Zero was here now, holding him and telling him to rest, he had earned it…

“INCOMING!”

If the panicked shout over everyone’s comms hadn’t scared X out of his sleepiness, the resulting explosion of one of the trucks would have.

There was a moment of silent affirmation as everyone looked out of their respective windows to see the last truck in the convoy go up in flames, X’s own core going still for a moment as he watched the vehicle turn into a pile of blackened metal, any of the poor souls trapped inside being lost in the initial explosion.

What happened next could only be described as absolute chaos. All of the Neo Arcadians began shouting, calling for orders, formations, confirmation on where the attack was coming from. X grabbed his buster, leaping out of the door and hitting the ground running as his scanner picked up dozens of enemies.

“They’re surrounding us, don’t let them cut us off from the city!” X called over the comms, shooting a pantheon as he ran by, the creature raising its weapon to begin firing at the convoy.

Plasma shots and missiles flew out of every corner of their path, the trucks being peppered with fire as they slid to a stop. 

X didn’t have time to let himself grieve as he heard the cries of the Neo Arcadians being shot down by their enemies, only able to concern himself with eliminating as many of them as he could. The faster he destroyed the mechaniloids, the more of the Neo Arcadians would survive.

Mega Man X tore through droves of enemies, the Dark Elf’s presence completely muted to him as he fought to ensure their survival. Decades of fighting experience came back to him, every movement he made feeling as natural as it ever had.

He had almost forgotten he had been built for combat by his hypocritical father, all those years ago. A being that strove for peace but had been built for war.

“Master X, help! Please!” 

One lone cry that rang out above all else gave X pause, snapping his attention around back towards the caravan. 

It was a massacre, the sheer amount of pantheons and mechaniloids easily overwhelming the Neo Arcadian forces. The same people X had shared the day with now lay in varying piles of burnt, destroyed parts and synthetic flesh.

The voice that had called out to him was one of the young men who had escorted him that morning, his eyes wide in terror as a pantheon warrior gripped his body in its massive, mechanical arm.

The man reached out for X, his eyes pleading as he gasped one last time before the pantheon crushed his body, tossing him aside as it turned its horrible gaze to X.

X could only stare, rooted to the spot in agony as he had watched the reploid’s death. It was happening again, his supposed “power” not enough to save the very reploids who looked up to him. They needed him, and he could only stand by and watch as they died.

“X, move! Now!”

Tria’s shout didn’t register to him, but the explosion at X’s feet did. His entire body was thrown backwards, shrapnel decimating his pristine white and gold armor. He could feel the molten pieces of metal ripping through his body, shredding everything they came in contact with. The little wings on his helmet were ripped off, his legs barely holding on from his thighs down. The pain was so great that X actually didn’t feel it, laying instead gasping in a pool of his own blood.

He didn’t hear Tria’s voice in his ear, telling him he was okay, and that they’d make it out of this. He didn’t see the few remaining Neo Arcadians grab what they could of his armor, his buster and their fallen comrades. He didn’t feel them dragging him towards the last remaining truck and piling what they could in the back.

X could only stare at the ceiling of the truck, feeling it rumble as it sped away from the horror scene. Tria’s face entered his vision, wiping his hair from his eyes and speaking to him to keep him calm. The poor reploid couldn’t have known that X could barely understand him, his processor dedicated to keeping him from experiencing the full effect of what could only have been a grenade detonating against his legs.

X didn’t know how long he sat there, his eyes flickering from Tria’s face to the roof of the truck. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be back in his bed, his body hurting from the seal and having boring meetings all day. 

He wanted Zero back. He must have spoken Zero’s name accidentally, simply because of Tria’s reaction. The man reached around and grabbed X’s buster, holding it out in front of him and saying something along the lines of “I don’t know who Zero is, but here, maybe this will help? Just stay calm Master X, we’re almost home…”

X wanted to reach up, grab the buster and throw it away. His arms, however, stubbornly refused his call to move. Tria couldn’t have known that X was talking about his long lost partner, and not him not having a weapon.

Maybe, Zero wouldn’t be so long lost anymore...X could feel his life draining around him, death closing in on him like the gentle embrace of night.

The truck stopped, X could feel it by how the inertia moved his body. It felt like too much was open to the air and sliding around, unstable and free. 

That wasn’t right, in fact it was quite rude of his body to be so open like that.

How dare it.

X turned his head to the back of the truck, watching as Tria jumped out to meet Dr. Weil and the rest of the council. He was speaking quite animatedly, panic clearly written on his face. 

Weil nodded, taking X’s buster from Tria’s hand as he listened. X wondered why no one was rushing to help him, or panic over his broken body. 

Perhaps they’d come after they helped Tria, X knew he needed it.

Weil nodded again, still holding X’s buster in his hands.

With one hand, he charged the pistol and leveled it at Tria’s head.

The resounding shot shocked X, but the sound of the Captain’s body hitting the floor shocked him more. What the hell just happened?

Something bitter filled X, overcoming the encroaching blackness of death. That simple act of merciless violence snapped something in the android. Was it rage he felt? Indignation?

Or was it a realization of sorts?

X wouldn’t have time to think it over, the veil of night finally covering his eyes as Weil turned to him. For the first time in X’s long, long life, he felt genuine fear as he gazed into those dark eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Magnificent...his entire body is magnificent...I never had the chance to work so closely on him.”

X’s consciousness danced at the edges of awareness, catching a man's voice as he felt hands all over his body.

He decided he didn’t like that before disappearing again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Damnit, I needed him dead, why can’t anyone do one fucking job correctly…”

X was more aware this time, and he really wished he hadn’t been. Something was being taken from him, he could feel it, something deep inside his code being ripped from him.

He wanted to scream, but had no way to do so.

X faded again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“If I can’t break the seal...I will weaken it until this bastard machine dies.”

X’s eyes flew open, the pain hitting him so quickly it caused his processor to short out for a moment. Everything inside him felt like it was on fire, the Dark Elf’s code wreaking havoc on his own stripped body.

He knew Weil was in the room, he could sense him. He also knew in that moment what Weil had been doing.

The system errors he was getting were too deliberate, too perfect. Bits of code taken here, pieces of his systems missing there. 

X was being stripped for parts while he was still alive. The thought alone made him violently ill, that he was being taken apart from the inside by the people he trusted.

He knew Weil, the man had been there to help him create Neo Arcadia, he had helped X with everything since the day Zero left.

How could he do this? Why?

X paused his morbid ministrations, noting that Weil had left the room. This was his chance. Like hell he would stay here and let the man he had once called trusted root around his insides like he was some experiment.

The android heaved himself to the side, gasping as he felt the remnants of his torn body collapsing off of the table and onto the floor. The pain made him cry out, his whole being shaking violently from the stress of movement. 

X hazarded a look down, trying to assess the damage. Things were not where they were supposed to be. His entire torso had been opened up, mechanical parts and reploid “blood” barely staying inside of his body. His armor had been peeled off of him, his legs barely held together. He looked like a mechanical skeleton.

He whimpered, trying not to make himself sick at the imagery, his own body horror driving his need to escape even higher.

His helmet was still seated on his head, and his scanner still worked. Perfect.

With a great deal of effort, the skeletal remains of Mega Man X stood, one arm wrapped around his midsection while the other kept him steady, helping him regain his balance.

Escape. Run, X!

The voice in his head prompted him to move, whether it was his own or maybe his father’s, he didn’t know. He simply began moving, the lab that had contained him scattered with pieces of his armor and body.

With shaking hands, X grabbed and replaced what he could, pain clouding his thoughts. The only thing he could make out was escape.

Once sufficiently repaired enough to move faster, X stepped out from the lab, noting it was one very close to Yggdrasil. The Dark Elf’s seal felt so much more active than ever before, fire racing through his code as the virus rewrote him and attempted to corrupt him. 

X grimaced, turning away from the direction of Yggdrasil, and focusing instead on making it down the hallway. Every step sent pain lancing through his body, but he grit his teeth and kept moving. 

If I can make it back to the garage...I can take a truck and escape…

God but where will I go? What will I do? Fuck, this is bad. This is really bad....

X tried not to whine, despair flooding him as he realized he had no plan other than escape. Maybe he could go and die somewhere in the desert, somewhere Weil couldn’t touch him. Maybe he would find Zero…

“Hey! There he is, he’s over there!” 

A shout, followed by footsteps rang out of the hallway. X turned as fast as his shaking body would let him. Reploid guards stood further down the hall, calling to one another before running towards him.

“Shit...shit shit shit…” X hissed under his teeth, forcing his body to pick up the pace. His knees wobbled and threatened to give out under him, a hobbled trot the only thing he was capable of. The hallway turned, leading into a straight corridor with windows on either side. 

They were gaining on him, and X knew he wouldn’t outrun them here. He eyed the windows further down, panic building in his throat.

If that was his only means of escape, then so be it.

With a cry, X ripped the remnant of his charred white and gold armor from his chest, the last piece of the armor he had been forced to wear. He turned and threw it towards the curve of the hallway, not watching as he heard the satisfying thunk as it hit the closest pursuer as they turned the corner.

X hobbled as quickly as he could, his eyes glued to the one open window. Other reploids and his own council appeared at the other end of the hallway, Dr. Weil leading them as they all attempted to catch him.

Weil looked furious, his hands reaching out for X as they all sped closer.

X wondered for a brief moment who would reach what first. Would he reach the window first, or would Weil catch him before then? The panic and pseudo-adrenaline coursing through him told him that he needed to reach the window first.

Everything else disappeared as X’s vision narrowed onto the open window sill, his hands reaching out for the frame. 

He couldn’t have known that Weil had almost grabbed him by his hair as he launched himself out of it, into the crashing ocean below.

As X twisted and turned in the air, free falling into the roaring sea, he realized that Weil had planned all of this. Weil meant for him to die on that patrol.

Weil had betrayed him, and all of Neo Arcadia. No, he had betrayed all of the life on earth, jeopardized everything that X had sacrificed so much for. Everything that Zero had sacrificed himself for.

As X’s body hit the water, he decided that was truly unforgivable.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You are all FUCKING IDIOTS!” Weil roared in rage as X leaped out of the window, taking everything Weil had been working on with him.

TK-31 shrank deeper into the shadows, he wasn’t having a very good day. How unfortunate could one get to find themselves in the middle of an attempted assassination/coup?

“You should have killed him while he was in your lab Weil, what are we going to do if he comes back?” one of the council members, a shorter man with a balding head spoke up, gesturing to the open window.

“I couldn’t have killed him, anyone who looked into how he died would have seen that it was deliberate! The reploid boy ruined it by throwing a grenade at his damn feet, X was supposed to die to a fucking saber.” Weil turned to the man, shaking in wrath.

Why would anyone try to kill Master X? Wasn’t he the only thing keeping the Dark Elf asleep?

“If he had died this morning on the patrol like I had planned, none of this would be happening. It would have been clean, with no damage to his hardware so I could take his parts to repair Omega and bring back the Dark Elf! That stupid boy I sent to escort him this morning KNEW that when we set the trap!” Weil collided his fist with the shorter man's face, sending him reeling.

“If he had died this morning to pantheons, we could have framed it to the humans that it was the reploids’ fault, getting them on our side and finally destroying the rest of these idiot reploids. We wouldn’t have had to cover our tracks because these stupid humans would have believed any lie we spoon fed them about their glorious leader’s death.”

“Instead, we now have no X, no Dark Elf, and only pieces of X’s data.” Weil finished, his hands still held in fists at his sides.

Frame reploids? For Master X’s death? But why? That would cause war, reploid kind would be falsely persecuted, X would become a martyr for nothing.

Something about the whole situation made TK-31 angry, indignant that someone was attempting to use Master X’s name to cause suffering.

He couldn’t do much about it though...

Best to stay hidden for now, his message for Master X clearly wasn’t going to get delivered.

“Doctor, do you really think he would have survived that fall?” one of the other council members, a thin, tall woman spoke up. Her face was gaunt as she watched the scene unfold around her.

“Let’s hope that he didn’t. In the meantime, we need a solution for X’s disappearance. He still makes his rounds and meetings. No one can know that he’s gone.” Weil grumbled, making his way towards the hallway X had run from.

Dr. Weil turned his back to TK-31, this was his chance! The messenger reploid began creeping away, sticking to the shadows and hoping that his blonde hair wouldn’t give him away.

Wait…

Weil stopped in front of what looked like a piece of scrap metal. Stooping down, he picked it up, smiling devilishly as he did.

“I think I have a plan for our missing leader. I don’t think anyone would notice if he had been replaced with a Copy…” Weil chuckled darkly, turning to face the remaining humans and reploids in the hall. “No one is to speak of what happened here tonight. If you do, there will be consequences.”

Weil turned from the council, the armor in hand, and began walking back to his lab.

The man couldn’t have known about the little messenger reploid staring in horror as he hid around the corner.

He had seen the whole thing! TK-31 trembled, he couldn’t tell anyone about this, he had to keep quiet.

The reploid slipped away, going down the opposite hallway as Weil had, desperately wishing he hadn’t been seen.

[panda-wa-panda-jyanai]

The World Is Yours

God I love this song.

When we initially hear The World Is Yours, we don’t hear it as its own beast. We instead hear it as part of NEW GAME, the opening theme of NEO: The World Ends With You, which could also be argued to be the entire game’s main theme. As NEW GAME progresses, the “remix”-y nature of the song becomes clear as sections from other pieces of the soundtrack are blended in (Twister, INCONGRUOUS, and We’re Losing You). That initial sound becomes muddied amidst the other songs, breaking out its chorus at the halfway point for a brief moment before it’s lost again. 

Why does that matter? Because that serves as a beautiful reference for where Rindo begins the story at. Symbolized by his face mask (the speak-no-evil to Neku’s hear-no-evil headphones), Rindo is terrified of making decisions. Whether for himself or his friends, we see in the beginning of the game how much he struggles to both speak up and speak his mind. 

We get to see Rindo’s inner monologue; constantly doubting himself, second guessing decisions and laboring over every little detail. To an unhealthy degree, often. It’s too much effort to make all the big decisions, so he simply lets Fret or Nagi figure it out. In those situations where his time travel is needed, he agonizes over every decision and mistake and rippling effect. Facing the consequences of his actions proves to be too difficult, and he continues to defer to his friends even though they are relying on him to lead them through the Game. 

Rindo has no voice of his own, and that is reflected in NEW GAME. The fucking sick guitar riffs and vocals struggle to break through the wall of noise (haha get it) of the other pieces present in the song. Even when compared to their reprisal in The World Is Yours, they sound just a tad bit subdued; the guitars don’t blare as loud, and the vocals seem to drone instead of scream.

Somewhere in the middle, the entire game happens but The World Is Yours is eventually revealed as the other side of this musical coin. Leaving this until the very end, the literal final boss theme, was a genius move even outside of the song itself. We hear all of the other tracks that are part of NEW GAME throughout the game well before this one, and you may be left wondering “hey, what song do those fucking sick guitar riffs come from?”. It made me grin ear-to-ear, at least. 

So Rindo, at the end of his journey, is facing the literal embodiment of his mistakes; a phoenix forged of those malformed souls left behind from alternate, abandoned timelines GOD THIS GAME IS SO GOOD. And as the phoenix screeches in a swirling void reminiscent of the Xemnas fight from KH2, the opening preamble to The World Is Yours starts up; a fantastic build up to a killer track and the perfect anthem of Rindo’s growth throughout the game.

It's supposed to be hard  If it wasn't hard, everyone in the world would do it The hard is what makes it great Making mistakes is proof that you challenged The world is yours

And then we’re hit with the full weight of the guitars, the drums, the defiantly screaming vocals, and eventually the trumpets (??) of the full song, which I can safely say is the definitive theme for Rindo (at least, as far as I’m concerned). 

I won’t go into every lyrical nugget because this has already gone on longer than I expected, but the rest of the song echoes that opening verse; Rindo has finally found his resolve. He has found his voice. After losing everything and being given the chance to set things right, he tears through the noise of the other tracks of doubt and fear in his mind, and screams a song of confidence and determination in their wake.

The world is yours, Rindo. 

(P.S.  Can we appreciate the genius of the lyrics:

Watch it burn  Like a firebird I’m coming back 

Like bruh. The double meaning of fighting a literal phoenix but THEN ALSO the reading of Rindo rising from the ashes of his mistakes, of the marred timelines he gave rise to, in order to set things right? This game is a masterpiece.)

[one-way-dream]

Nights of Future Past (One-Shot)

Rating: Teen+

Words: 8100+

Media: Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2,

Characters/Pairings: Hajime Hinata/Nagito Komaeda, Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Makoto Naegi

Tags: Post-Island Mode, Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Feelings, Mutual Pining, Reminiscing, First Kiss, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, Depression

Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Chapter: 1/1

Link to the original work

AO3 Summary/Except:

Things aren't the same after waking up from the Neo World Program, even after their rehabilitation. The truth weighs on them both heavily, and Hajime finds out firsthand just how deep the trenches run.

--

Hajime walks into Nagito's home finds him passed out on the ground. (Based on artwork)

Author's Notes:

only losers write speedrun-write entire fics at 6am for fun without their glasses (and wondering why the screen looks blurry) while waiting for their prof to show up to their group presentation for an Entire Hour only for the prof to not show up at all and all the group members leave without having a goddamn clue on what to do. its me im losers.

i wrote this fic two semesters ago and decided to polish it up a little (<- skimmed over it) because i didn’t like it very much and still don't but said ‘eh fuck it we ball’ and am publishing it now before i forget it exists. which has happened a few times.

Hajime hears the rustling of papers before he sees him, but that doesn’t keep the headache from creeping into his mind.

Although he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t feel that way about seeing Makoto, especially with all that the man has done for him, regardless of Hajime’s… personal bitterness. But more often than not, the latter would only be sent over to give Hajime some “additional tasks” on Byakuya’s word.

Because of course it was Byakuya working them all like dogs, and of course Makoto was kind enough to trust in his judgement wholeheartedly.

A long sigh escapes him before he finally lifts his head to peer over the cubicle wall, not bothering to hide when Makoto already had his desk number memorized, as he looks for the familiar strands of light brown hair navigating through the office partitions. The sight of them inching and bobbing closer with each step almost reminds him of a shark, and truthfully, he’d laugh a little at the thought if there weren’t fumes coming out of his ears from exhaustion.

And eventually, the rustling gets louder.

Alright, deep breaths, Hajime reminds himself. There’s only a few more hours in the workday anyway, so the task would either have to be a short one or one he’d take care of first thing in the morning.

Poor Makoto generally didn’t have the heart to ask Hajime to work overtime; no, for those cases, Byakuya played his cards straight and asked Kyouko to be the messenger instead. Iron gaze and icy tone for every last soul she came across except Makoto, Byakuya, and the other survivors – she was one of the few members of the Future Foundation that both captivated and genuinely frightened Hajime by her presence alone, and Togami Byakuya knew exactly how effective she was at ‘convincing’ people.

Then again, Hajime could say the same for a lot of the girls in his class. Charming, but absolutely goddamn terrifying.

“Ah, Hinata-kun! I’m so glad you’re still here.” Makoto’s frame popped in from around the corner of his cubicle, balancing a stack of worn-out folders and fighting to keep them from slipping out of his arms. The shorter man beamed at Hajime despite the struggle, and the latter reciprocated because despite the dread pinching at him for an additional workload, he at least liked Makoto as a person. Mostly.

A loose folder finally won against his efforts, the contents spilling all over the dusty carpet in sheets of white and finely printed black ink. Makoto froze, as if he wasn’t expecting the outcome before his shoulders slumped in defeat. He let out a groan that sounded more like a childish whine.

Meanwhile, Hajime had to bite his tongue to not chuckle at his comical misery, and instead started wordlessly picking up the sheets during Makoto’s moment of frustration, making the other snap out of his state and scramble to the floor to help with his one free hand.

“Oh, you really don’t have to do that,” He frantically picked at the few documents that remained scattered, sighing quietly when five fluttered right out of his hands like a cruel magic trick and onto the floor again, "But thank you so much.” Makoto’s face pulled into an embarrassed smile, cheeks a little tinted as he chanced a glance at the other to gauge his reaction, “I’m sorry for making such a mess…”

Hajime looked up and gave him a small and polite smile. “Don’t worry about it, you were carrying a lot anyway. Just leave the folders on my desk for now so you can rest your arms at least.”

Makoto nodded, getting back on his feet quickly and carefully stepping over the spilled documents while ensuring nothing else would fall from his arms and burden Hajime. The stack came down on his desk with a heavy thump, huffing out the distinct smell of brand-new printer paper, making Makoto cringe at how the force of it flung a paperclip off the edge of Hajime's desk. He quickly pounced to catch it before spinning around to help with the last of the papers, only to find Hajime already standing with all the papers neatly tucked into the binder, running a hand through his messy brown hair to tame it a little.

“Jeez… sorry about that. Thanks a lot, Hinata-kun.” His shame grew a little more, the red flush crawling up to the tips of his ears as he shyly rubbed his neck, unable to meet the other’s eyes, “I guess I’m just a little unlucky today!”

Hajime’s breath caught in his throat at the last word; an uncomfortable feeling prickling under the collar of his white dress shirt. Suddenly, it was his turn to vehemently avoid eye contact with Makoto.

“Speaking of luck, that’s actually who I wanted to talk to you about!”

Shit.

Hajime wondered if it was too late to pretend that he didn’t hear that – maybe make an excuse to go to the washroom or wiggle out from under his office cubicle like some hyperactive preschooler. Given that his desk was all the way at the back of the fifth floor and near the fire escape, there wasn’t really any way he could inconspicuously slip out and—

And Makoto’s lips were already starting to move again.

“The thing is, that. Um. Komaeda-kun left pretty early today.” Makoto had a look of concern plastered all over his face, but Hajime only looked on, feeling himself unintentionally boring holes into the other with his gaze, “And, well, it’s not like he’s slacking off or anything, because he did finish all his assigned work before leaving, but…”  

“But what?” Hajime tried and failed to leave the irritation out of his voice, feeling a prick of guilt when Makoto’s frame flinched at his tone. He really should show some restraint with the person he considered his boss. After all, it wasn’t like there was anyone else that’d willingly employ a war criminal who helped cause the apocalypse, let alone be kind to them.

“I’m just— I’m just a bit worried about him.” Makoto thoughtfully crossed his arms and leaned against his desk carefully, trying not to put his full body weight on it, although Hajime doubted he weighed enough to even make it creak, “I’m not worried about him slipping into despair again or anything, but it feels like he’s… deteriorating a little? Sometimes I catch him falling asleep at his desk or staring out a window without realizing that I’m there, but that's pretty rare for someone as diligent as him.” His eyebrows furrowed, a rare frown on his expression as he looked away from Hajime, opting for an empty cubicle like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

So, while the irritation drained from him, a knot formed in his stomach at the other’s words instead.

“I’m not asking you to check up on him or anything, Hinata-kun, but I was wondering if you knew what was wrong.” Makoto’s right hand nervously fidgeted with the tip of his black and grey striped tie as he forced himself to make eye contact again, as Hajime smothered the unfamiliar voice picking at the back of his skull droning about how distastefully boring the young man looked. Said man finally met his eyes with an unfamiliar intensity; green on green and red. “After all, you are his partner, aren’t you?”

Hajime swallowed thickly under Makoto’s near-pleading gaze.

It was true that they were partners during field work and even office work a lot of the time, mostly due to the fact that by some miracle, they worked really damn well together. They complemented each other.

The nature of their actual relationship, however, was a whole different case.

Half the time Hajime couldn’t tell what was going on in his head – hell, half the time Hajime was convinced that even during field work, Nagito wouldn’t hesitate to make things more ‘interesting’ if their goals didn’t exactly align. Even at the cost of his own safety, and as a result, their safety – because Hajime wasn’t going to leave ‘trash like him to stew and rot in compost for extra fertilizer’ like he insisted sometimes, even if Hajime did get snappy enough to consider it.

The only reason they hadn’t run into any issues was purely in-thanks to their obligations to the Future Foundation and their strict mission guidelines and procedures.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

So no, he couldn’t meet Makoto’s gaze with confidence. Only a pitiful expression plastered on his face that felt more like an excuse rather than an actual apology. If he’d been partnered up with someone who didn’t hate his guts, maybe he’d have an answer for the other man.

But something changed between him and Nagito ever since they woke up from the rehabilitation program, and Hajime didn’t have the answers for it.

“I’m… sorry, Naegi. I really don’t know what’s up with him.” His hands clenched into fists in his coat pocket, feeling his exhaustion slowly catch up to him. Makoto let out a small, resigned sigh but gathered himself much better than Hajime could give him credit for.

He watched with a mix of surprise and amusement as the shorter man reached his arm upwards to awkwardly pat Hajime’s left shoulder, which should have been a comforting gesture, but Makoto picked up on the embarrassment at their height difference quick enough to retract his arm and slip into a casual demeanor. Very smooth. But, well, it wasn’t like Hajime didn’t embarrass himself half the time.

“It’s alright. I just wanted to ask you just in case,” he carefully looked at Hajime, words a little slow, maybe a little deliberate, as he tried to study his expression for the slightest spark of recognition. “That’s all I really wanted to ask.”

Makoto let a small smile play on his face instead, stepping away from the other to pry the rest of the folders off of Hajime’s semi-cluttered desk. His eyes briefly scanned over it, guiltily taking in all the stacks of paperwork and decorations that littered the desk in a way that was oddly pleasing and organized at a second glance. He’d always known that Hajime was a hard worker; it always showed in his work habits and in the way he’d stay just a little longer to finish up against Makoto’s well wishes for rest, but he’d never quite noticed just how… popular he was.

If it were anyone else, all those gifts might be considered a safety hazard, but Makoto trusted Hajime enough to be responsible with his desk decorations. From small handmade trinkets to miniature plushies, it was clear that they were all bits and pieces of a beloved person; someone who everyone trusted and thought of fondly – and Makoto truly couldn’t ask for more.

His eyes drifted and landed on what looked like a handmade wooden carving in the shape of a small clover painted emerald-green, tacked onto the cubicle wall, and tucked away between a miniature mech and his monitor – obscured as if it were for his eyes only, like he didn’t want others to know it existed, and it would’ve been the case if Makoto hadn’t leaned over the way he did. A small grin came up on his face before he could help it, thinking that maybe those two would be just fine after all.

Just as his classmates trusted him, he would also place his trust in Hajime to do the right thing for his partner, even if he’d be scolded for his naivety.

But really, he mused, that “naivety” could also be considered hope.

“Guess I’m off for the day then, goodnight! Oh, and… I’ll let Byakuya-kun know that you left early because you were feeling sick.” Makoto winked at the other, clutching the papers closer to his chest as he scurried away before Hajime’s confusion could wear off.

A sigh left Makoto like a silent prayer, with only a whisper under his breath.

“Hang in there, Hinata-kun.”  

-x-

His relationship with Nagito was… special, to say the least.

If it wasn’t his condescending words and a cold shoulder behind a plastic smile, it was them butting heads over trivial nonsense.

Thoughts about the lucky man often stirred in Hajime’s mind, winding around his brain like a steel wire and often pulling with a jerk sharp enough to cut when he least expected it. He could pinpoint a few reasons why it hurt him to think about the current state of their relationship but kicking those thoughts under the rug had always been the easier option. It had always been the less infuriatingly frustrating one.

He didn’t need the extra headache of someone like him tampering with his brain. Picking him apart and laying him bare for all he was worth – or rather, what he wasn’t worth. Especially not when Hajime had already learned the truth about how he let others tear him apart for the sake of artificial talent.

It was… still hard to digest.

But he would come to live with it. That’s what he decided.

Because if he doesn't— if Hajime Hinata doesn't come to terms with his choices, he doesn't know how he'll be able to live with himself. And… he has to live. He has to because Makoto and the others fought for them. He has to live, no matter how he really feels, right? There's no real death wish behind his teeth, unless disappearing under mysterious circumstances counts, but living feels like—

…Well, his feelings on the matter just aren't relevant anymore. Not when he has a debt to repay.

A dreary and boring life after giving up his body to escape a very similar kind of dreary and boring life. Except now he had a significantly higher price to pay; one that he’d do anything to give up for those few days of rehabilitation in the program.

It was rather telling that he hadn’t changed when it came to how easy it still was to ‘give up’ parts of his life. But when Hajime really thought about it, it was clear what was truly worth sacrificing. Maybe it was cowardice, or maybe he just longed to feel the nurturing warmth of the sun on his skin again.

His gaze drifted up to the reddened sky as soon as he stepped out of the building – the colour ebbing away into a violet hue with each passing month filled Hajime with a strange sense of hope despite everything; like it was an anchor on reality and fact that time wasn’t just stagnant, even if it felt like it. Everything was changing, for better or for worse.

Hajime pulled his mask up to the bridge of his nose, clutching the leather strap of his shoulder bag a little closer to his body as he started through the city, sidestepping the stray rubble, and keeping a firm foot on the uneven dirt path.

The city was still in shambles; there was no other way of putting it. Broken walls, shattered glass, metal shrapnel and grotesque decay strewn over every ruined inch of the city. Piles of bodies used to replace the flower beds at the side of the road, but the Future Foundation had made it a priority to deal with them first – both out of respect for their families and for the health of everyone still alive.

Identifying the bodies and matching them to names on the registry had been one of the first jobs Hajime and Nagito were assigned aside from their usual patrol, and he could safely say that he never wanted to be assigned to such a task ever again. Nothing had been as difficult as matching bodies to names, and names to whatever remained of their grief-stricken families.

His focus went back on the path ahead of him, the route to his new residence became something his body could follow on autopilot while mangled structures caught in his peripheral vision. Buildings that once housed entire families and warm bodies had the life forcefully ripped out of them, now merely empty rooms and corridors littered with nothing but filth and frags and debris – the aftermath of devastation at the hands of despair.

The feeling of guilt and loss settled back in his throat like acid, humorously thinking about how perhaps the chemicals resting on Tsumiki’s workbench that he’d catch himself pensively staring at far too long would feel similar on his esophagus, but he’d push those feelings down like always. It was hard to trust himself nowadays, and it was even harder not to let Nagito’s scorn and backhanded insults get to him; between the push and pull of trying to believe in himself and knowing that things would never go back to the way they were, there was no way he’d feel anything but exhausted.

The thought that he’d be significantly worse, or rather dead, without the program terrified him – but being plunged into a world drenched in darkness that they were responsible for without warning was nothing short of suffocating anyway.  

Hajime tugged down on his mask to take a deep breath, instantly regretting it when the smog-filled air struck his lungs and had him doubling over in a coughing fit. With tears prickling at his eyes, he could just barely make out the outline of his apartment building just around the corner, picking up his pace a little despite there being no pressure besides the ache in his chest – something other than the smoke lingering in his lungs.  

He was heading home. He should head home; he should head straight to the fifth floor of their residential building without thinking twice about the fourth.

The sound of leather shoes clicked against the glazed ceramic tiles as he stepped into the barren but clean lobby, the residential building being one of the few places actively maintained, as he quickly ripped off his face mask to let clean air soothe him in shaky breaths. Hajime had forgotten how hard it was to breathe the polluted air if you weren’t adjusted for it. After a whole day in a moderately clean and controlled office building, his body didn’t take kindly to sudden changes.

Or maybe those were all just excuses, and maybe breathing in that foul air brought back memories of despair he would rather not have resurfaced. Memories of days past that he would never long for.

Hajime stepped into the elevator and jabbed at ‘four’ without thinking too hard about it.

-x-

The last time he checked, the wristwatch on Hajime’s right hand read twelve ‘o’ clock, and he knew for a fact that Nagito was neither a heavy sleeper nor an early one.

So why was it taking so damn long for the door to open?

He knew that this feeling wasn’t worry, not in the way that it once would’ve been, but he’d be damned before he let the other weigh him down and get in his way when it came to work. Checking up on him would at least calm down the frustration prickling within him; it’d clear things up for Makoto’s sake – after all, he was the one who insinuated that he should check up on Nagito, wasn’t he?

Hajime felt the annoyance bubble within him before the nervousness kicked in, raising his hand to knock a little harder for the sixth time in a row, because he was nothing if not persistent. It isn’t until a silver glint catches his attention from the corner of his eye that he stops in his tracks, suddenly remembering about the spare key under the doormat. It isn’t particularly inconspicuous, but Hajime still remembers it anyway from the night he had to carry the other home, drunk out of his mind.

Sometimes his mind wanders back to that day, but he doesn’t think about the way Nagito didn’t take his eyes off of him for most of the night. He doesn’t think about the way it made his heart stutter and chest burn to have his face so close, warm breath lingering by his ear for not-so-secret whispers – not when things went right back to how they used to be the next morning. A thin deceiving smile and verbal kicks below his belt that were better than Nagito’s usual lashes, but they were kicks, nonetheless.

The corner of the tacky-looking entrance mat is lifted to expose the house key – clean and free of dirt despite being under a mat, but it was typical of the other man to clean each and every corner spotless. It was one of the few things that hadn’t changed since the Neo World Program, as vague but warm memories of Nagito’s cottage filled his head, the smell of fresh linen and household cleaning products still sticking to his mind. The memory of childishly rolling around in Nagito’s bed while they chatted between chores also lingers, although he'd rather it didn't.

He turns the key over in his palm and slides it into the keyhole, feeling his pulse thrum harder in his skull than anywhere else as the key twists.

But the key turned without a click; the door was already unlocked.

Hajime sucks in a sharp breath. Something was amiss, and he couldn’t stand the way it felt.

His left hand reached for the cold metal of the door handle, carefully swinging it open as he steeled himself.

And almost immediately, Hajime was hit with the overwhelming scent of stale citrus as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of Nagito’s living room. He could just barely make out shapes on the ground before him, the light from the hallway pouring in around his cast shadow. It wasn’t until his senses fully adjusted that he saw the state of the room, a sharp breath inhaled through his teeth from the shock of it.  

“What… the hell...?”

Nagito’s passed out body laying before him, on his side and unmoving on the wooden floor of his living room – around him were familiar looking yellow and blue striped drink cans; some stacked, others crumpled or dented, and a single tipped-over can by the leg of the chabudai, a translucent blue liquid spilled out of it in a small but sticky looking dried puddle.

Nothing in this room apart from the half empty bookshelf and the person sprawled out on the ground in front of him was reminiscent of the Nagito he once knew. A peculiar but kind person, who did strange things and spoke of even stranger ideas, but his presence was always warm and comforting. It was always one that was interesting, one that was welcome, one that he would willingly seek out even.

But now the potted plants that he would’ve nurtured with the utmost care back in the program stood by the windowsill withered and dry, gathering dust in the hazy florid moonlight. The books he wouldn’t keep out for more than a day on his desk were strewn carelessly across every surface besides his unmade bed with fitted sheets unraveled.

He always knew that things would never be the same, but now he was certain that the difference ran deeper than he’d imagined. Or perhaps he never really knew the boy to begin with.

With caution lining his every action, he stepped into the room as the uninvited guest he knew he’d always be.

“I… really didn’t take you for the sort to be messy,” Hajime’s face pulled into a frown as he felt himself finally exhale with those words, taking in the room one last time with something like concern settling deep in the back of his mind. He pushed further into the apartment, stepping over empty cans and littered stray work documents until his feet stood mere inches from the other’s head. Perhaps it’s a bit of a personal space violation, but somehow Hajime didn’t think that’d be the other’s first concern. At most he’d probably just be annoying enough to scold him for being rude and not leaving his shoes by the entryway.

“Komaeda, come on. Get off the floor already,” He spoke while looking down at the man in nothing but work pants and a thin loose tee-shirt, Hajime’s own tired and low voice the only sound in the apartment besides the steady hum of the old air conditioner, “Wake up.”

A few seconds passed painfully still. Nothing.

That was… unusual.

“…Komaeda?”

He waits a minute, and then another, before he calls his name again. And then again. Hajime crouches down to the floor, hand reaching out to shake the other’s bare arm, even though he wasn’t a heavy sleeper.

The second his left hand meets flesh he has to fight back the shiver that courses through him in a way he’d never felt before, panic violently striking his chest in its place and knocking the air out of it for a moment because when his left hand meets flesh it’s cold – it’s not supposed to be this cold. Breathing doesn’t feel as easy as it did moments ago when his heart started pounding in his ears. Irrational thoughts fill his head like someone just opened the floodgates. He didn’t even think he could hear the other’s voice in this state with how loud his pulse was.

“K-Komaeda?” He doesn’t bother to hide the overwhelming anxiety creeping into his voice when he jostles the other’s arm, shaking his limp body with it, inching closer to him on his knees, “H-hey… wake up…”

He knows Nagito’s body is cold, but he’s never this cold. He knows that he’s not a heavy sleeper. He knows these things for a fact.

If nothing else, even if whatever had been between them was nothing more than a pleasant daydream that only Hajime begrudgingly held dear between the two of them, he hadn’t forgotten the night they laid side by side on the beach so they could watch the sunset and sunrise together; he hadn’t forgotten the way they’d barely touched yet he could still feel some warmth from the boy next to him. Or that the sound of seagulls squawking overhead were enough to make him bolt upright just as his consciousness started to drift, sudden enough to make them both stare at each other before doubling over in laughter in realization—

“Komaeda—” He cries, outright cries his name when the memory makes his heart ache unbearably.

The fear claws up higher in his chest until it takes hold of his windpipe; he can’t see the mess of white hair as clearly anymore when his vision begins to blur.

Please.

Please, please, please—

Hajime barely registers the feeling of muscle tensing under his grip, but it’s enough to shock him still.

“…Mrmph…?”

For those few moments, he could barely breathe, second guessing himself with every passing moment whether he’d imagined the muffled sound.

All he can do is stare at the form in front of him, slowly but surely unfurling from his position, an arm leisurely splayed out behind him before the rest of him follows by the turn of his hip. When his back touches the cold floor, Hajime even picks up on the way Nagito recoils at the contact. And slowly but surely, as the panic drained from Hajime’s body and got replaced with the burn of embarrassment, Nagito’s eyes fluttered open.

Grey-green met his own eyes with a lopsided and lazy grin, but it was one that was practiced, it was one that wasn’t quite authentic. Nothing was out of place for the other, as usual – and it was only Hajime that ever felt an ocean’s worth of difference between them. His throat suddenly feels far too dry, and the tears that threatened to spill were growing colder on his lower lashes with every passing moment.

“Oh… Hinata-kun, good morning!” Words slurred together but remained light and chipper, as if nothing were amiss; like Hajime hadn’t just been bordering on a breakdown and like whatever the hell was going on in this room wasn’t really happening, “May I ask why you are in my room?”

And Hajime hates the overwhelming feeling of relief that floods through his body, despite seeing how nonchalant he is. He hates how he can never be honest about it with the other without feeling like he’d get ridiculed or dismissed – not anymore at least. It’d be easier to wordlessly blink the mistiness out of his eyes before the other could catch him, but at the sight of the other’s widened eyes, Hajime could tell that he already knew.

“…Hinata-kun?” Nagito lifted his head off the hardwood a few inches without moving the rest of his body to see better, almost disbelieving, before his eyes narrowed again in recognition. Hajime looked away in irritation, face burning like he was being made fun of without a single word being said, “Hahah… were you really that concerned over little old me that you started tearing up?”

God, unintentional or not, the arrogance in his voice really pissed him off.

“Shut up,” He hissed, the aftershocks of his cooling panic making him even more flustered. He wants to blame the smell of citrus for overloading his senses, for making his eyes burn and water. He doesn’t have an explanation for his incessant heart rate besides shame and something else, but the other didn’t need to know that. “Y-you were passed out like you were practically in a coma.”

“Ah… haha… that’s a little like… ‘Koma’, right…?” He melted against him, forehead pressed against Hajime’s knees as his head settled back on the floor with a soft thump, giggling deliriously like it was the funniest joke he’d heard all week; and given their pathetically average daily life, it might as well have been.

But that didn’t mean he had to dignify that with a response, merely narrowing his eyes at the man who was already silent again, staring back up at him with fox-like eyes drowsy with sleep and the curve of a sly smile on his face.

“I came here to check up on you. I would’ve waited for you outside, but you weren’t answering the door.”

“Oh?” The smile grows wider as he drawls out the word, like he’s baiting the other into a trap door, “And was there a special reason for checking up on me all of a sudden? I thought the Ultimate Despai— I mean, the Ultimate Hope, — would be busier than checking up on someone like me.”

Those words don’t sting anymore; and he doesn’t know if he should be grateful or not. For a moment, Hajime contemplates telling the truth, maybe speaking his mind for once, or rather his heart. That it wasn’t just Makoto who noticed how differently he was behaving, and he wanted to know why, but even he wasn’t sure he could trust something as fragile as vulnerability.

He can’t find it in himself to bother with something like that.

“Naegi sent me.”

And Hajime doesn’t catch the way Nagito’s smile falters for half a second, but he does see it strained moments later – lips pressed into a thin line, and it’s no better than plastic when he whispers, “I see…”

A few moments of silence passed before they realized that none of this was going anywhere, that the floor was very cold and very hard and very uncomfortable, and Komaeda Nagito would make absolutely no move to extricate himself from it anytime soon in his sluggish state.

Hajime huffed, shrugging his work jacket off his shoulders, before throwing it on Nagito’s body carelessly. He quietly relishes the jolt and muffled yelp when the jacket collar smacks him across the face, taking relief in the fact that the man couldn’t see the satisfied grin he wore.

Bringing himself lower and looping his arms under the other’s frame, he carefully pried the other’s body off the floor with ease and pulled him closer to his chest, getting another small noise of surprise but none of the resistance he expected. He was practically putty in his arms, and he tried not to think about how cold Nagito’s body still felt, or how irritated he felt at his lack of care.  

“Why are you like this?” Hajime huffed, ignoring the other’s squirms either in an attempt to get comfortable or break free, “What happened to you, anyway?” And why are you so damn cold?

The other’s head tilts curiously, and he must’ve read the brunette’s mind when his next words were, “If my body bothers Hinata-kun that much, maybe he should warm me up?”

His heart couldn’t possibly beat any faster in his chest.

An awkward cough into his shoulder, before sharply nudging the other with his arm, “I’m trying to, but do you mind not phrasing things like that?”

Only to be met with an innocent but devious smile, one that clearly asked, ‘Like what?’

“Whatever.” He mumbles, “So why did you feel so cold anyway? I felt like I was touching a corpse.”

“That’s funny.” Nagito suddenly shifts, a sharp look in his eyes, “Between the two of us, I was certain that you were the one with the least amount of experience touching dead bodies.”

“I…” There’s hesitation, but a clear answer in Hajime’s mind, “Maybe I don’t. But I’m sure he does.” He doesn’t know why he says it, but it slips out nonetheless.

The silence that settles between them lapses into a difficult understanding, layers upon layers of tragedy and loss and despair digging their claws into the moment where it should have been just the two of them. It’s a silence that Hajime still has no idea what to make of when he sees five different emotions flicker behind Nagito’s eyes; each one too momentary to grasp, to decipher – it’s still far too fragile for them to pick apart. It had to remain unspoken. At least for now.

But the expression he finally settles on, even if it was meant to be passive, is one that startles Hajime. If he didn’t know any better, then he’d say that it reads dangerously close to acceptance when he sees a smile that feels significantly less artificial than all the ones before it.

Hajime almost laughs, because only Komaeda Nagito could listen to him admit to his other self very likely committing murder and smile in the face of that fact.

“Also, hmm… perhaps the air conditioning made me feel colder? My shirt? The floor?” The change in topic is less than graceful, it’s jarring even, but Hajime can’t find it in himself to care, instead focusing on the jacket button the other idly fiddled with as he spoke, “It could be many things, but if I had to gander a guess, I would say that I was just relaxed from all the drinks – it’s a change for once.” He quietly adds, “It… helps me.”

“It helps you?” Hajime asks, confused, “How exactly?”

“My, I would’ve thought that you of all people would know. We are quite similar, aren’t we?” Nagito’s lips twist into a stony expression, one that Hajime was familiar with by now but was no less affected by, “It helps me sleep – it helps me stay asleep. And it blocks this world out for longer. Maybe one day it’ll finally do the trick and shut me out for good, but… haha, who knows? I might need something stronger!”

A difficult beat passes through them, making the air feel heavier. Or maybe Hajime was just imagining things now that the real meaning behind Nagito’s words hit him full force. It was ironic, really – even now he still found similarities between them, even after all that’s been said and done. Even after everything has fallen apart.

“Don’t weigh me down at work…” It’s a scalding whisper that escapes Hajime, as if he was afraid to say anything in response in the first place, “You’re my partner.”

“Ah, so Hinata-kun is here just for work isn’t he? And here I thought he was beginning to care about scum like me.”

“…That’s a little unfair, isn’t it?” Hajime says a little louder than before, clenching his jaw as he looks down at Nagito with a carefree expression, “How could you possibly expect someone to care when you make them feel like they’re—” A groan leaves him instead of words, frustrated and tired, “Nothing. Never mind.”

Hajime adjusts himself back onto his feet, still holding onto the other man as he hoists the both of them up, carrying Nagito in his arms as carefully as possible despite the startled noise that sprung from him. Nagito quickly surrenders and melts into the touch, leaning into the warmth of Hajime’s chest and arms as he walks them back to the unmade bed.

He takes a seat beside Nagito on the mattress as soon as he sets him down, observing the contemplative look on his partner’s face and the way he indiscreetly shuffles closer so that their sides would touch. The air conditioning stops rattling pathetically for the first time since he arrived, and the true silence is deafening, maddening even. The hazy light coming in through the dusty windows was an unkind reminder of where they are and who they are. It isn’t long before Nagito finally shifts to face Hajime and breaks the tense silence.  

“Hinata-kun… do you hate me?”

The question catches him off guard and by the throat, nearly knocking the voice out of him. He could laugh. He could seriously laugh – he wished he could stop thinking about Nagito.

“I'd like to ask you the same.”

“Hmm… you’re right.” A hand on his chin and a thoughtful expression that grates on Hajime’s nerves, “I really should hate you, shouldn’t I?”

Hajime felt the irritation flare into anger, even though he should be used to it because it was Nagito he was dealing with. Why even ask? Why bring it up? Just to rub it in his face that things will never go back to the way they used to be when they were friends? Like the Neo World Program was nothing but a dream of play-pretend to him?

He wanted to tell him off for good just this once; shove his body right back onto the cold hardwood floor, and let him kindly know that, no, he shouldn’t feel compelled to hate anyone. Especially not the person meant to be his partner, even if they did only tolerate each other at most anyway.

But Hajime was still there, in his room and holding him in his arms to carry him up to his bed at one o’ clock in the morning. And now, strangely enough, the man who was hellbent on reminding Hajime of ‘his place in the world’ looked at him as if he were the only one left.

“It’s strange. I really should hate you, Hinata-kun. But I can’t bring myself to, even after learning everything about you.”

His body stills for a moment, not fully registering the words Nagito just said, apart from the fact that they felt completely wrong to him.

Felt completely wrong, completely out of touch compared to the way they’ve treated each other since waking up.

Their relationship that was once a friendship close enough to call each other by their first names laced with something unspoken led to this – led to whatever the hell this was, starting from lashing out at each other day after day to scorning words between brief glances that were reminiscent of days past. Like digging into healing gashes just to say that they were alive and undeserving of it, but for what? Just to live out the rest of their lives in misery?

A scoff wanted to leave him, maybe say something out of spite just to get those conflicting feelings out of his system. The slight huff of irritation Hajime let out instead didn’t do much to quell the butterflies in his stomach, and maybe he felt a little pathetic about admitting that.

“Hinata-kun is mad at me…”

Obviously, his brain hisses, but it’s harder to say that when Nagito looks at him like that. As if he genuinely cares about him.

“N-no, I… Look, I’m not mad. Just lie down, will you?”

Nagito looks at him like a child being told to go to bed, but nods all the same, adjusting himself on the bed so that he's still able to cling to Hajime’s waist even while lying down.

The other pats Nagito’s arm twice, nudging him to let go. Nagito only held on tighter, like he was all that kept him afloat.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I’d tidy up your room a bi—” Hajime suddenly realizes what he said, body twisting back to face the other, “What do you mean, ‘where am I going’? Did you want me to stick around longer?”

“I-I understand if you don’t want to be around trash like me but—”

“Stop that. What do you really want?” Hajime growls, annoyance once again seeping into his voice, “Spit it out, Komaeda.”

Nagito doesn’t answer, and Hajime senses his patience trickling out of him. It’s only when he stands up that Nagito immediately tackles him at the waist to anchor him back down, nearly falling off the bed before Hajime catches him.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

The man doesn’t say anything for another beat, before he squeezes even harder, frame shaking as a trembling voice comes out of him, “You still didn’t answer my question.”

Hajime bites his lip.

“Do you hate me?” He asks quietly, something like fear in his voice even though Hajime knows neither of them should care either way. They really shouldn’t, but Nagito persists, “Do you hate me for all that I’ve done? All that I’ve said?”

He was angry – he was. He’d always feel irritated or worn out or upset or hurt after bickering. And sometimes even livid.

But… did that really mean that he hated him?

“I…”

Wasn’t it simply frustration? Bitterness for the lack of understanding, bitterness for the loss of warmth between them? Could that really be called hatred for the boy– the man in front of him?

“…I don’t.”

Nagito smiles, “I’m so glad…”

Neither of them makes any attempt to move from their position, the smell of citrus in the air assimilated into Hajime’s system and clinging to his clothes with how long he’s been here, probably. Or maybe it was just Nagito’s scent that clung to his body. He doesn’t mind it as much as he initially thought.

“It's so lonely here, Hinata-kun. The sun doesn’t reach me anymore. I haven’t felt it in so long, so I’m glad.” His voice trails off into a whisper, fragile and fond.

Huh?

His eyebrows furrow as he looks up from Nagito, gaze going directly to the windows. Sure enough, he could see the darkest part of the evening sky through the buildings around his apartment. Even if his window wasn’t directly east facing, there would at least be some sunlight in the day.

“That… doesn’t make any sense.” Hajime looks down at him in confusion, “You would get at least some sunlight in your room. I know it’s not as frequent given the smog in the sky but—”

A giggle tore out of the man who suddenly draped his arms around his neck, head pressing against his chest, and they could feel each other’s rhythm; for Hajime, it was Nagito’s childish laughter. For Nagito, it was Hajime’s unsteady heartbeat.

“You may be warm, but you’re not very bright, are you?”

…Of course.

Of course, Nagito would find some way to insult him as usual. The irritation pricked at his chest again, despite it being duller than all the times before, because why did he ever even expect anything to change? Why did he ever have any hope that they would go back to the way they used to be?

Although it really couldn’t anymore.

Not when the other’s arms pulled him down closer, and especially not when Nagito’s lips met him halfway and were suddenly on his own, warm, and just a little needy. Hajime sucks in a sharp breath through his nose from the shock of it all.

Hajime's mind then slows to a crawl, pulse rabbiting in his chest fervently despite him, not even realizing when his lips started moving on their own against Nagito’s. His right hand finds its way into Nagito’s messy and soft white hair, and he’s already melting into him, like nothing had ever changed between them.

Slow. Gentle. Unusually sweet.

The other pulls away an inch, and Hajime desperately wants to chase after that warmth before he catches the look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I… know I don’t deserve this, but I made a mistake. I made a grave mistake by pushing you away.” Nagito whispers with his lips barely grazing the other man’s, voice wavering like he was afraid to shatter whatever remained between them, “If I wanted things to change… would you let me ask for something so selfish, Hinata-kun?”

Hajime’s mind couldn’t process anything but the tearful look in Nagito’s eyes, the depths of his loneliness that seemed never-ending – an abyss with no end in sight but the reflection of Hajime in his eyes. A man who was no different than the one who was pouring his heart out in front of him, except he wasn’t nearly as brave.

“The other night, I had a dream about the two of us. Of the time we were on the beach together and fell asleep beside each other, even though our cottages were nearby,” He laughed, eyes twinkling, “We even asked Usami for permission just in case, but she was already overjoyed at the thought of two classmates bonding in the name of hope.”

Nagito leans his head against his shoulder, speaking quietly, “Hinata-kun, I don’t think you know how many times I’ve had that dream. And how many times I’ve pushed it away. What I thought was hatred was… anger. Anger at you. Anger at the world. Anger at despair. Anger at myself. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that you were only ever looking towards the future. Even though it’s hard. I… mistook your self-acceptance for dismissal and maybe I was… jealous. Jealous of the way you could move forward like that.

Hajime’s breath hitches at his confession.

“But it’s such a lonely feeling, and I don’t know if I can bear to be alone anymore, even if I—even if I deserve it.”

“I wasn’t sure if you would stay even after I’d said all that earlier but…” Nagito pulls away from his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes in a way that makes him freeze in place, “You really are full of hope, Hinata-kun. Even as a reserve course student.” And there’s no bite this time when Nagito smiles at him, stares into his eyes with something like affection. It’s earth-shattering just how far the pendulum swings in the opposite direction when those same words aren’t full of vitriol.

“Will you stay?”

Hajime felt his heart leap into his throat a third time.

One day he wanted to lay on this very mattress with Nagito, side by side in their work clothes maybe, looking up at the patchy and water-stained white ceiling as if it were a sky draped with stars.

Just like he’d seen with the other before in the program; sea salt and the mild annoyance of sand prickling against their backs and unrestrained laughter and long talks of constellations and even longer tranquil silences between stolen glances.

Just like the night he realized how he felt about the lucky boy.

There was a hesitancy, a fear that came with it regardless of his resolve – a regret that the other would wake up to, and a rejection Hajime wouldn’t be able to stomach. He was only human after all.

But he saw a newfound spark in Nagito’s eyes that drew him in. A fragment of their solace from days of warm breezes, painted bright blue and so unlike the sky they’d opened their eyes to.

Eyes full of something unspoken, and it was something Hajime really wanted to find out.  

“Next time.” He whispered, warm hands squeezing cold ones reassuringly when Nagito’s expression falters, before he could retreat, “If you truly don’t regret this, and… if things can change, then next time.”

There’s a slow nod and a smile; a shy but mutual motion to lace their scarred and imperfect fingers together like they were meant to fit together regardless, and the room that once felt empty feels full of light. And for the first time in a long time, Nagito has hope in his heart again.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Nagito,” Hajime smiles at him, heartfelt and free for the first time since he woke up, “We’ll clean up together, yeah?”

Just like the hope Hajime had taught him about in the program, the one that he awakened; the hope that dwelled in Nagito all along.

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm gonna replay: NEO: The World Ends With You

It's been two years since NEO: The World Ends With You (NEO) released, and two years since I played it too. I remember feeling very hyped for it, and enjoyed it a ton! I decided to replay the game shortly after, and today, I finally beat the game!

The World Ends With You (TWEWY) has a very special place in my heart, it's one of my favourite games of all time. I played it as a pre-teen, the message of Neku's story didn't really stick with me much, because I was mostly into just cool looking characters and loved anything Square Enix put out (also Joshua was my favourite character back then). When I replayed that game years later, I was captivated by the characters and literally everything about it, from story to music, to its overall cultural features of introducing Shibuya to the world. When NEO and the anime got announced, I was over the moon and wouldn't shut up about it to my friends. And after playing NEO, I didn't shut up for a good while either! And since then, I've been wondering: Which one do I prefer more? NEO or TWEWY? Now that I have my hype glasses off, I can probably evaluate my thoughts about this better.

I've seen a number of people online point out about how the journey of the protagonist in TWEWY was more prominent and impactful compared to NEO, and to that I do agree that I feel more connected with Neku than Rindo. People have also pointed out that NEO's point this time around is more about character/group dynamics rather than a singular person, and I think it does that very well! Seeing the chemistry of the group as they go through the Reapers' Game is such a delight to watch, as new members get added over time. I think it's hard to compare which game does 'characterization' better when they both have different objectives. But if I were to talk about just NEO, I was really hyped to see what Rindo would be like prior to release, and I did like him when I first played it. But while replaying the game, I felt my affinity for him...wear off? The replay made me realize that the highs that I felt for the characters came from the OLD cast, rather than the new ones. Don't get me wrong, the new characters are far from bad. In fact, I was expecting to hate Nagi when she was first revealed, but after playing the game, I think she's an exceptional character! But maybe the focus on group dynamics made me like the chemistry more than the characters itself...which I never realized could happen. That being said though, my favourite character from the new cast only appears briefly in one scene. But why is that?

The character designs and art in this entry are top notch, as usual from TWEWY. And they just draw me in so easily! When I saw the black hooded guy that was shown with the new cast, everyone went wild speculating who they were. His outfit was barely shown, but something about that mysterious aura just got me (he's also become a favourite for me in NEO btw). And maybe that's the case with why I have a favourite. And why I was hyped for Rindo. I may not feel for his character, but he's got such a drippy outfit, I can't dislike him or anything for it. Maybe it's weird to like a character just for how they're dressed, but for some reason, this game does that to me. I've also seen the concept art for some of the pictures, and I reaaaally wish they were real characters. The character design team just really nailed it here!

Music is part of the TWEWY series' soul. Without it, I don't think the games would have the same impact as it does. I love both titles' music, but they seriously ramped it up with NEO. The remixes for the older titles, and the new originals are huge earworms (in a good way) that I often listen to it while I'm working out or doing something productive. Takeharu Ishimoto never misses when composing for TWEWY.

Now, there are two factors that made me realize I prefer one game over the other. The first is: Gameplay The original TWEWY which was released for DS, smartphones and the Switch all encompass touch input in some way but make use of what the device offers, especially for the DS. If you want a game that completely takes advantage of the DS hardware, TWEWY often comes up. I mostly play TWEWY on my phone nowadays, which I know some people call it to be a ''bad port'', but honestly, I think it handles itself very well and it is a more accessible port compared to the other platforms. The switch was also criticized for poor controls as well as a new story segment meant to be a sequel hook. NEO on the other hand, makes use of all buttons on the controller (except the D-pad) and uses multiple playable characters on the field. Even though I played it on PC, I didn't really test out the keyboard input much, so I can't say much about that. Since NEO doesn't have much access to additional peripherals like a touch screen, stylus, microphone or motion sensor like the DS, this gave NEO more limitations in gameplay variety compared to the vast variety the DS game had. What you end up getting is something more...repetitive. I don't mind button mashing as I like games that do have it, but this leads to the second factor: Pacing Without trying to spoil, both games are split up into a number of segments. I prefer to call it early-game,mid-game and end-game. In TWEWY, the mid-game tends to offer some downtime by introducing some minigames that are also intertwined with the lore. It's also where the story starts to change direction a bit due to Neku and his interactions with another character. This mid-game is often lauded as the best part of the game. There's a sense of rest while still keeping the player occupied with story progression. NEO on the other hand, only focuses on combat with a tiny sprinkle of puzzle segments. You spend most of your time just grinding through enemies just to progress the story. And the activities that do get added in only involve more grinding. There's no rest, but there's also bouts of not much story progression either. And when it does occur, a LOT of it gets dumped on you, especially later on in the game. It's a lot to take in, and I cannot imagine the confusion that a newcomer would feel when seeing things that they're somewhat expected to know because it comes from the first game (reminder that NEO is a sequel). My hype playing it the first time around got me to beat the game in 4 days. My replay of the game took me two years. I was busy, but I still had some time to play games. I kept telling myself to finish NEO, but just thinking about it made me groan. I then realized that the grind and slow pacing of where I was in the game was the reason why I felt that way. Does that make the game bad? Not really, especially for those that enjoy grinding will like this. And I don't really dislike grinding. I've been replaying Persona 3 Portable lately because I didn't finish it and forgot the story, (which people say is a bad port apparently? Anyways I might write about this game too in the future) and somehow I've not gotten sick of Tartarus at all. But that's mostly due to its pacing, I'm not really forced to fight all the time if I want to progress the story. I can do other things too. And I think that's what NEO lacked. Let me do specify some nice things about the combat though. I really like the number of combinations you can use! I think NEO is much more customizable, and flexible with how you want to play. Prior to my replay, I wondered about having one button control two Pins, and turns out that's a thing! I really enjoyed using that in my replay. Same goes for the fusion combinations! Sure it's not very flashy like the first game with the transitions and all, but I like that it's much more functional this time around. Maxing out the fusion and button mashing enemies to death is still fun to this day! And some pluses to the story is the dialogue,

I'm so thankful that TWEWY as a series has not missed in terms of that. I had a good amount of laughs and getting my attention at some references, and seeing callbacks to the first game had me scream with joy! All I can say is that despite some gripes, I can see the love and passion poured into this sequel, and I'm so glad we got it after 14 years.

Terms exclusive to the game: Pins - Skills you can use to attack, or heal yourself. Fusion - Special attack that causes great damage to enemies.

[akwardlyuncool]

Spotify Wrapped 2023

So I'm here to talk about my hella basic year in music lol. If you're new here I got 2 Spotifys, which means I compare them every year to see which one I think is more accurate.

Basically I got my daily driver,  what I use most often and what’s signed in on my phone and then the Spotify I use for/while I’m working on projects on Akwardly Uncool. Anyway the LEFT side is the Daily Driver and the RIGHT is AkwardlyUncool.

So I'mma Start By Proudly Waving My Basic Card:

I might be wrong, but I feel like everybody who was even slightly in the Pop-Punk, Midwest Emo, Post Emo space had Hot Mulligan in their top 5, either artists or songs for 2023. It was just bound to happen and I ain't mad at it, cause have you listened to them?! Just had to acknowledge that real quick lol.

Minutes and Hours and Just Time:

15,850 minutes. About 264 hours. 11 Days.

Not gonna lie, based on some personal calculations, this was a shorter year for consuming music for me. (If you stick around for ACF 2024 I might divulge some of that reasoning, but for now I'll just say, It is what it is and I know why.) That being said I'll try to beef up my numbers again next year.

Top Artists:

Now don't get me wrong I love The Wonder Years down, however I made a collaborative playlist of The Wonder Years and Hot Mulligan with a friend and basically didn't turn it off lol (it was definitely a shower mix for sure) and that's how they ultimately won the award on my main account.

As for the "side" account, which felt like the main this year, Winnetka Bowling League is just one of those groups that's so good to put on and let run. Now of course I have my repeats, that I've been talking about for the last few years and then I added more and so whether it was going to their page and hitting play or seeking out my repeats, I totally get why they won there. They're coming out with a full album next year, so get used to me talking about them 90% of the time. And if you hop on their train, remember I'm the conductor.

As for the other artists who touched the top 5, I saw 3 of them in concert this year, so naturally their numbers are going to be higher. Also Watsky made it cause Intention is not on CD, hopefully yet.

Genre Sandwiches and Top Tracks:

It's Pop-Punk season mixed with Winnetka Bowling League and Watsky, so both sides reflect that. That being said, the main diver is where I play the majority of the R&B, Neo-Soul and the likes, so they're rarely reflected on my second. But KNOW, I am a mix of Pop-Punk and Neo-Soul, always!

Again it's Pop-Punk season or rather Hot Mulligan season and I spent a lot of time learning every word to those two tracks that won, but are too long for me to desire to type out now. "Draw and quarter a stranger to feel some blood on your fingers. You take away, robbery follow trends as a hobby, find flaws in everything else because you don't like yourself. Woe is me!"

Collector vs Alchemist:

They both say essentially the same thing which is that I make and listen to my own playlists more than anything else, but anyone who works with me could have told you that lol. Geniuses.

Winner? Winner? Chicken Dinner?

Again they basically say the same thing this year, which is that we listened to a lot of Hot Mulligan, Relient K is still my favorite band and if i see you in concert you tend to show up on my Wrapped for the year. I will say though that I'm hella surprised that this is the first year Lyfe Jennings didn't show up on my Wrapped and although that makes way for other folks, it's still a little sad lol.

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Hey we made it through Spotify Wrapped Time and now must move on to the more nuanced and obviously better Akward Class Favorites 2023. If you don't know, it where I just go through my year in movies, music, online content consumption and other things of the like, so better lol. Don't have an ETA on when that will go up, but I've taken the notes, so hopefully before the end of December.

[ask-paradox-and-friends]

@jacktheseal cause I wanna make one for rwby and say this now. Ruby gonna have fun.

Ruby's kids grow fast. One week in outworld and one of her rippers became a gaint monster wearing amrour Wiess and penny made for it. Before you ask she named it Num-Num (he's my little baby! Look at the widdle face!-Ruby RUBY THAT IS A FUCKING ARMOURED KAIJU HOW THE HELLS DID THAT HAPPEN!-Her ally Bun)

Ruby is very Curious about the roaster due to her own interests in weapons. Of course like everyone else she dosent understand Kung Lao's chakram hat.

She has tried and succeeded in stabbing adam as payback for Blake. She's in the mortal kombat tournament for her own reasons (She's chasing Roman who tried to steal her crap and then ran away. Somehow he ended up here.)

Putting ruby against herself will make her think she's fighting Neo or Emerald (somehow forgetting she's resistant to mental stuff due to the fact Tryanids are phyker resistant.) (Aura works like that right? Cuase almost all the stuff I see involving this make a connection to the souls of people. Like necrons are immune to the warp and mental stuff cause they don't have souls.)

She may be in control of herself and her instincts but she gets very VERY H U N G R Y. Granted she limits herself to grimm but hey. Dosent mean she can't try to eat a robot...or demon.

She knows she heard of Peacemaker and Joker. (Rwby x DC is canon here just enough to say ruby is aware of DC. And Mk11 had joker MK1 has peacemaker.) She doesn't know why she dosent like them but she dosent.

And now the stuff involving the champion friends! (The Einherjars)

Ruby regular cries seeing wiess or penny being cute. Tsugu and Bun find it very funny. But they understand.

Yang was the one who recommended the name rosey reaper. (You have a scythe you're a rose and you have the cloak!-Yang feeling very proud)

She LOATHES Cinder. Like she will actually try to eat her after biting her in two.

She hides it well but she pities Neo and by extension Toga (if you've read MHA you'd know.)

When the timeline resets and ruby gets reborn with non human features (Nodt exoskeleton grimm teeth black eyes fur and dog ears.) Every family member had an excuse cause Noone knew about the first timeline and ruby played dumb.

The comments were in order.

'Ruby's got my eyes'-Qrow

'Mama maybe was fluffy!'-Yang

'I do not see why that is important.'-Penny

'Knowing her she decided to play in some goop again. Wished she stop it's always hard to get out of the rug.'-Weiss

'WHATS IT TO YOU!? HUH?! HUH!? GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!?'-Tai who had to be held back.

Ruby has tried and failed to hide her nest of eggs. Places have included (the family home. Under beacon. Inside a destroyed Chaos marine ship. And inside a necron ship.) She often wonders how to hide the kids.

Almost all her new friends have helped her against the threats of her world these include.

Her and Bun fought of Neo and Torchwick at one point. They didn't kill them cause they were too busy helping yang.

With Pico's military skills and Saito's large connections they found Adam a lot easier.

Having her fight Sunblood reveals he stole several things from her to study what they were. Obviously Salem is not pleased.

Ruby snuck into Schnee manor once to get photos of Weiss cause Tai of course showed team RWBY and JNPR the pics. She found some found them and Willow....5 thrown Vodka bottles and 3 tuskboars later and now they're friends. :) (WHY DOES EVERY RELATIONSHIP WITH A SCHNEE ALWAYS STARTS WITH A FIGHT!?-Ruby)

Cause I'm still a fan of mk.

Random triva I'd leave in the intros of mortal kombat. Part 1 my crew. If you want a part two with rosey reaper Mai and tusgu I'll post it.

Paradox is banned from Sun Do cause of a rampage where he leveled half the city chasing a guy who shot him.

Pico has killed at least 3 lin quei and stole their gear.

Bun had somehow scared the wu shi cause he laughed like mad meeting Madam Bo. (Before you ask it's cause she's like his grandma and everyone sees her as the hard as nails martial arts teacher.)

Dearil fought a Vaterain that one became 'The wingless'

There are 3 dead Onegas. (Haviks Liu kings and Shang tshun's) one from sunblood one from Paradox. 3rd one is up in the air.

Saito drank everyone under the table. (Aka she can out drink the rest of the mk roaster.)

Garou keeps sneaking into the shao lin temple. He gets caught. All the time.

Joan sees a little of herself in Baraka.

Sunblood has a collection of Kamidogu. He has 36. It's starting to scare Raiden.

Kaito often hopes Kenshi and Ashura would join his large clan/family.

If geras is correct Naruko's Uzumaki clan of Shinobi and Kaito's Yamamoto clan of Slayers form a singular clan.

[spaceraceart]

spamton classpect thoughts

ive been reading tags and comments on both here and twitter on that spamtroll post, and hehehhe its definitely interesting seeing what classpects people see spamton as!

the reason why im thinking thief of life is bc (under cut lmao, also did an edit!):

thief - arguably, a lot of spamton’s story involves giving and taking. he was given his big shot career by the guy on the phone. he stole swatch’s look. he stole the neo body. he tried stealing kris’ soul. this is a big simplification, but if you also match it with his aspect (life in this case), you can think of it of spamton desperately trying to steal a life and luxury and sense of agency that he doesnt have. spamton also shares the egotism that the canon thieves have lmao and has a very strong personality.

(ive also seen page and bard and mage. i can kinda see why those could work too, but thief feels like the simplest match to spamton and well, im a simple bitch lmao)

life - spamton has a lot of themes involving growth and getting bigger, gaining freedom in some sort of way. freedom is often matched with the breath aspect, but the life aspect also holds themes of freedom and agency. i dunno, ive seen people also think hope and light for him, and wouldn’t you know it, all of these aspects share a corner in the aspect wheel in the extended zodiac! these are inherently similar aspects that have some overlaps. i like to go with life bc of the overall theme of growth with spamton. wanting to get bigger, wanting to get more, wanting to be a god. hope is an aspect that may come to mind when you consider spamton’s religious connotations, but hope generally has stronger themes of imagination and belief and justice. and then theres also the themes of luxury and wealth and privilege that life has that spamton definitely has a complicated relationship with. idk he just wanna grow and be a big boy.

(also note, the extended zodiac has rather simplified explanations of the aspects that focus on only small facets of them. the life explanation focuses on the healing/care-taking aspect of it, but the canon life players have a lot more going on than just being healers. of course, a lot of the themes i talk about with life are theories).

derse- and some bonus talk about the moon lmao. he is not content with his situation, very dissatisfied and obsessed with the past and future. idk, the extended zodiac explanation for derse matches pretty well. he’s inflexible, obsessed with control, calculating, etc.

and of course the classpect and moon i gave him lines up with meenah and agshdjgashd i didnt mean for that to happen. i guess they have some similarities, but sharing a classpect doesnt mean you’ll have the same, or even similar personalities. idk im just rambling at this point hahahah. i find classpects so interesting! wonder what yall think

(edit) oh my god i completely forgot about the healing aspect of spamton’s character! he has so many different healing moves tied to him, its nuts! the f1 angel thing is arguably the best healing move in the game (not counting items idk), able to heal the whole party at pretty much any time. there’s also the heal deal move (he wants to keep you alive so you can make this deal with him!) and then there’s even the fried pipis move in snowgrave lmao. you can even argue the s.poison item can be applied to life, with spamton literally stealing your life away. he has such a big focus on health that i completely forgot about lmaooooo

[dragonseattofu]

NekuShiki question time! #2 :)

Who said "I love you" first? When?

Do they ever go dancing? How does it go?

Who is more affectionate with the other?

First I love you

The person who I envision to say the first “I love you” in the post-NEO world would be Neku. Pre-NEO I would hands down have thought it would be Shiki, because out of the two I feel like Neku’s more of an awkward sort and wouldn’t know how to put romantic feelings into words. But after NEO I feel like Neku became a little better at conveying his feelings and here’s why:

He watched her exit the elevator. She was talking to someone holding a camera bag, possibly the photographer she had just hired a couple of days ago. He remembered their evening meal yesterday, one he had to pry her away from her work to partake in, relating to her upcoming photoshoot. He learned their usual photographer had double booked and she had to scramble to find a replacement. The replacement looked young, around their age, and seemed to be bowing a goodbye to her before walking towards the exit behind him.

Neku continued to watch her, as she pulled out her phone from her Mr. Mew purse. Shiki tapped furiously at the screen, with speed rivaling Nagi, and seconds later he felt a buzz in his pocket.

After tucking her phone back away, Shiki moved toward the turnstiles situated near the door and finally saw him. It took her a second to overcome the surprise, he didn’t tell her that he was coming to pick her up, but she immediately brightened as she walked toward him at a steadfast pace.

How many days, months, years had he waited and hoped for to see a sight like this? To feel like this? Like his chest tightening in anticipation of her being in his arms, his cheeks warming at her smiling at him for simply … existing? How long had he spent thinking about the life he could have had with his friends, with her?

When Neku was dropped into the Shinjuku UG, he went into shock. Why? Why was he back when he was banned from ever playing the game again? He had just gotten his life back. He finally didn’t feel so alone in the vast seas of Shibuya.

But then he got shot … again.

His cynical side thought, maybe this was his retribution. He didn’t deserve friends, not after what he did to him…

But then he remembered them, and what they had all said to him.

“Let me in! Tell me what you're thinking!”

“Give up on yourself, and you give up on the world.”

“You're not my partner anymore man, you're... my friend. So trus' that yo!”

Come on, work with us. A problem shared is a problem halved!

And then he could have sworn he heard her…

“You finally came back to us … I knew you would.”

“I’m so happy you're back, Neku.”

He didn’t remember her saying that to him, but it wasn’t the first time he felt like he saw things that haven’t happened yet, things that could happen if he played his cards right. Visions of a future that gave him some … hope.

Every battle he fought, every new area he stumbled into, every floating thought he passed, all led to this hope that he would get back to his friends.

When he wasn’t fighting to survive, or when Coco was standing watch so he could rest, he thought about them. Was Beat skipping classes still? Was Rhyme learning how to do those ollies Beat was trying to teach her. Was Shiki … was Shiki hanging out with Eri right now? Was she fixing a stitch on Mr. Mew? Did she miss him, the same way he missed her?

His time in the RG after playing three weeks in the reapers game was short, but nothing less than wonderful. Shiki and Neku went on a couple outings together, just the two of them when the Bito siblings had family errands. It started out a little awkward, especially when familiar restaurant and store keepers thought they were an item already. A specific ramen owner was the worst of them all even though his teasing came from a place of fondness for the pair.

Without him realizing, being with Shiki was almost as natural as breathing, and every moment he spent with her was fun, interesting, precious to him.

Neku didn’t get the time he needed to work out how important Shiki was to him before being plunged into the Shinjuku UG, but three years of company to only the disembodied thoughts of lost souls and an occasional “fairy” reaper gave him the opportunity to delve into it. The conclusion he reached gave him the motivation to keep fighting, to keep surviving. For once, he had someone worth living for.

“Earth to Neku?” Shiki waved her hands in front of his face.

He blinked, bringing himself back to the present. Shiki stood on her toes, trying to look at his face underneath his overgrown bangs. He felt her touch his cheek, concern marring her adorable face.

He hates that he brought so much strain to her life. Maybe she could have been happier with someone else, someone who wouldn’t break their promise to go shopping the next day and abruptly disappear.

But then she smiled at him, having noticed that he simply zoned out. And all of a sudden his negativity stopped spiralling and he felt grounded again. He may not feel like he deserved her, but she chose him nonetheless.

She chose to never give up on him, that he would survive the ordeal he was thrust into. She chose to be the best version of herself that she could be while she waited for him.

And then even after all that time had passed, she still chose to be with him.

Neku didn’t know if there was a word that encompassed the overwhelming emotion he felt whenever he thought of Shiki. One certainly felt close enough though.

“Hey Shiki?” He asked, putting his larger hand over her smaller one that lingered on his cheek.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he said that to anyone, if he did at all. Even though Neku had told Shiki almost immediately after his arrival in the RG that he wanted to be more than friends, he hadn’t used that word before. Love was still such a foreign concept that he wasn’t sure he understood it completely, but if there was anyone in the whole world he could associate love with, it would be Shiki.

Shiki’s hand on his face stiffened at the sudden confession. For a hot second, maybe it wasn’t the time or place she expected him to say it. He felt a slight panic from the doubt of her not reciprocating his feelings.

But those thoughts were quickly thrown out when she leaned in and kissed him.

It was a kiss longer than they had ever shared before. She was physically telling him something, but he was a little preoccupied to fully process anything. Shiki pulled away, far quicker than Neku would have liked, carrying the sweetest grin he ever saw on her.

“I love you too, Neku.”

Dancing

Shiki would have this fancy company dinner that she’d have to go to for networking. As friendly as Shiki is, she’s still introverted and the whole event just sounds utterly exhausting. Neku would be her plus one, because even if that’s the last place he would rather be, he’s her partner, and that’s that. She gets well enough along with everyone, but she has to make the rounds and greet everybody, leaving Neku alone at times. Thankfully Eri’s also there, and the girls take turns between networking and keeping Neku company. He surprises both of them when the head designer for Jupes notices Neku’s deep purple button down shirt from Jupes under a Gatto Nero’s half grey plaid - half black solid blazer (it’s visually better in my head than what I just described), and wants to talk to the designer of the jacket. Neku goes full endorsing mode for his girlfriend, and smiles smug when the girls realize they didn’t need to worry about him, much less securing a major deal with a major brand for a collaboration. He’s pretty happy with himself when he hears a version of Someday play on the surround sound. The dance floor opens up, and a couple of people start a waltz.

Neku thinks to himself, it’s an odd thing to have a dance in the middle of a company dinner, but dinners in the fashion industry are often hosted by the most eccentric of people, and he supposes it’s not so peculiar after all.

The melody plays soft and slow, and if he’s honest with himself, it’s a pretty good rendition of one of his favorite songs. He sees Shiki from the corner of his eye, silently asking her to dance as he extends his hand out. She’s surprised at the gesture. Neku’s many things, but dancer’s not one of them. The exaggerated kicks he’s so fond of are sort of hard to move elegantly in. A simple slow dance, he thinks, is enough for him to handle. Her thin finger slipped effortlessly into his hand.

More affectionate

Post-NEO, I feel that both are pretty affectionate toward one another, but in different ways. Shiki’s more physically affectionate, she’s more of a hugger and is always holding his hand, or his clothes, just so she can feel that he’s there. He doesn’t initiate physical touch as often as she does, but he never let’s go, or moves away from it. This happens more naturally as they start dating, snuggles and such.

Neku’s more affectionate verbally. He’s gotten comfortable saying what’s on his mind more often. He’s not shy about complimenting her, she doesn’t need his reassurances but his opinion is important to her nonetheless. He’s a natural flirt; says things that would be considered suave without intention. He would say pick up lines without realizing that they were pick up lines.

Okay, so I’m like not really sure how best to put my thoughts together but here goes:

The Shibuya and Twister kiddos would all be at some fashion function, and the Fret and Beat would comment on how attractive some of the models are. Neku would just be like, “yeah, they are attractive, but they aren’t as beautiful as Shiki.” Him referring to how much he loves her appearance as well as her personality, whereas he knows nothing about these girls so all he is going on is their looks.

And of course Shiki, who has pins in her mouth and is trying to get her models ready, hears this. Her jaw loosens and the pins fall on the floor. She’s essentially flushed and flabbergasted, by what he said and how nonchalant he said it. He looks at her like he said nothing wrong. Then he just smiles at her, and she just stutters out curse words. She doesn’t have time for this.

Notes: I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m such a slow thinker and writer! But thanks again for the ask! The first prompt sort of snowballed. Hope you like it! @doesitringabell, I added a collection on Ao3 dedicated to you for any/all other prompts that end up longer than I had anticipated. Check out the source content.

Also sorry for any typos and such, let me know if you spot any. If anyone is still interested in my rambling mess of Neshiki fanfics/ficlets, don’t hesitate to send me more asks! It might take a while, but just know that my moments of silence are just me tinkering with ideas (writing something, hating it, revising it, writing again, rinse, repeat, then screw this, just take it.)

[druid-for-hire]

new hadestown au: BIKER ! EURYDICE, in which she’s a rogue lone-wolf biker dwelling in the urban jungle of a Neo Tokyo-type city called Hadestown, wracked with biker gangs, violence, poverty, corruption, and civil unrest, still recovering and rebuilding from an apocalyptic event many years ago. Heavy-handed with the AKIRA inspirations here, haha.

She fights for herself on the dangerous streets, an illegal racer with a consistent top-three placement and a reputation for ferocity that earns her the money she needs to scrape by. And then she meets Orpheus: a dopey bartender who has no place being in her business.

okay okay okay i’m gonna be jumping around a lot here. be warned. thanks @supercantaloupe, @regzillas, @birdmanlyss for your contributions! (sorry if i missed someone it’s been a while)

she's a lone wolf in a city infested with biker gangs and it's brutal

she's run over plenty of limbs in her day

then there's orpheus, this gentle, kind-hearted soul, an indie musician and shes like. fuck. now i gotta keep this bastard safe

puts a long pipe with a mess of bolts and metal on the end in his hands and tells him he'd better buckle up and learn to fight the road

this sort of thing is common among biker gangs to cause destruction and knock people off their bikes onto the road. other types include mallets, hammers, baseball bats, etc

shes small but knows a lot of self defense and is very good at handling herself on the road

besides teaching orpheus to steel himself and yes use that pipe on people, push them off and jam it in their wheels and let it break if it does, she's gotta teach him to hold on while she pulls all this crazy shit on her bike

she avoids taking him on the road because having to fight people gives him so much stress but he also stresses about her so it's all weird

the first time orpheus sees her run over someones arm hes like ""???????????????????!!!!!!!!"

"Don't worry it doesn't happen often" "WHAT IS 'OFTEN'"

she has a red songbird on her helmet and flowers on her jacket

and flowers painted on her bike too probably

or patterns like on the album cover

orpheus thinks it’s the prettiest shit he’s ever seen

so eurydice races, right? everyones like “who is this tiny little upstart” and then she takes off her helmet and shakes out her hair and everyone loses it

somethingsomething ig hades (who is something of a crime boss here, similar to Tombstone from the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, but not so unambiguously villainous in nature) becomes a contractor and he catches her in like, a bad contract that's hard to get out of without some kind of consequence

and now orpheus has to topple a capitalist again

anyway she like, meets orpheus in this little bar he works at

it's about lower middle class, so it's not too bad but it's still mostly populated by like, poorer people and bikers, etc.

they meet and it's cool and fun blah blah Come Home With Me shit

also this is a scene:

biker!eury: we gotta cross through downtown orpheus: what???? but there's a riot going on there! right now! eury: that's too bad, it's the fastest way! that's why you get this! (tosses him her pipe weapon) orpheus, barely catching it: sajskhsfdfs ???? eury: and i am gonna take this. (kicks open a trunk and takes out a rifle) orpheus: ???????!!!!???!?? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT AND DO WE REALLY NEED IT eury: Yes we do now come on orpheus: H-HOW did you get it eury: (loads gun) no worries orpheus: No i have many worries HOW DID YOU--

actually, on this emergency ride, orpheus proves surprisingly competent with her pole weapon—ruthless even, and eurydice wonders just where and how the hell he learned that

the conversation she has with him about that is the same one where he shows her his old, old scars

(besides ruthless—orph has apparently learned how to pose and intimidate. he does stuff like putting the tip of the pole-pipe to the asphalt as they’re riding, skipping on the road and creating sparks)

eurydice loves her bike more than certain relatives 

certain complications lead to it being destroyed by hades as punishment for doing him wrong. and it destroys her. that is her most trusted sacred bike, that thing has been with her since she was a teenager

once she repurposes that devastation into white-hot anger orph has to physically restrain her from hunting hades down and breaking his kneecaps with a thick lead pipe

he's never seen her this absolutely devastated and furious

he goes to persephone for more work because he wants to buy eurydice a new bike

he keeps it a secret from her until he leads her out to a garage, hands over her eyes

(some of these bits are copypasted from my friend @regzillas​)

orpheus takes his hands off and says Tada!!! it's just like the old one, there's no painted birds but she can do that. She just stands there in total silence mouth open, and orpheus goes 'so? do you like it?' before she bursts into tears. and at first orpheus is like :O!!!!! oh no!!! do you not like it? and eurydice through sobs just says 'nobody's ever done something like this for me’

it's... beautiful, it's touching, it's deep and it's love and she's so in love and she loves him so much, and she cries and holds him close and takes him in and she's so overwhelmed by her emotions, full of the care that orpheus so freely gives to her; and it's a breath of newness, fresh air in the cycle of dread and bitter anger that haunts the city (but she's still going to find hades and shoot him in the foot)

he just holds her and kisses her head

they spend the day painting it, the day after he buys the bike

hand-painted. and they both leave their handprints in paint on it, like carl and ellie do on their mailbox in the beginning of Up

a significant amount of time is spent thinking of a good name

theres lots of joking and eurydice playfully shoves orpheus and he falls over into paint

okay i wrote something like. Obnoxiously long for orpheus. i sort of have his backstory in this down, but i don’t have anything for eurydice unfortunately :( suggestions are welcome! but first: Hermes

biker!au hermes owns a chain of bars, several of which find their patronage among the ruffian youth, several of which are more refined and serve the middle class, and another several of which serve the upper crust hermes has a hand in every world and it serves him pretty well, and his chain is a bit of a channel of communication and its unspoken rule that whatever socioeconomic class or gang or organization you're a part of, hermes' chain is neutral territory no fighting allowed

eurydice walks in and hermes just gives her a Look and taps the 'no fighting' sign and she huffs

hes >:( if anyone does try to start shit. the honor system is strong enough that usually the other patrons will just throw them out, and if there are really problems, they'll hear from hermes personally

he maintains a very strict "no bitching in my fucking kitchen" atmosphere

and now, Orpheus

this really is kind of akira but without the government conspiracies; the city is a neon corrupt hellscape that’s still struggling to rebuild after an apocalyptic event that wiped it all through. the city is wracked with frustration and violence and anger, there are still urban ruins everywhere and the scars of rebuilding and struggle are plain in every corner of life; plain to see are the shells of ruined buildings, gigantic boats levelled from the sea and left in the middle of inland sectors.

orpheus was abandoned by his mother at an early age—kind and timid, he had to learn fast how to be suspicious and cautious in cruel ways. he couldn’t land himself a spot in any of the groups that other ragtag raging folks had eked out for themselves, still too hesitant or ungraceful or young for any of them. sure, he made friends, sitting and talking with lots of people, but never got to really team up—all he could do was just fight for himself in the blown out corners of the city. weapons made from whatever he had. a young child already spitting blood and teeth in hadestown’s vicious ground-floor landscape.

hermes is his mother’s close old friend, though the times they see each other are few and far between. when he saw him, hermes hardly recognized her son, wild-eyed and clawed and alone in one of the city’s more dangerous neighborhoods, with a pole full of screws slung over his back. how did she lose track of her kid for so long? he thinks. and takes him in.

hermes eventually realizes that his mother didn’t lose him. meanwhile, tiny orpheus, kind-hearted orpheus, despises hermes at first. he’s full of suspicion and desperately wants to lean into hermes’ kindness, but the streets have taught him to hold back. he spits curses at him, though the words slide right off hermes’ shoulders. it’s not genuine.  just frustrated. and picked off of the delinquents that were his friends, just like most everything else about him.

(hermes knows he’s gotten his trust when orpheus starts getting soft, when he’s crying over littler things; it means he’s been deemed safe to be vulnerable around, and he damn near starts crying himself.)

orpheus owns a little vespa! it’s covered in stickers, some of them worn out and old, some places with just the adhesive and the fuzzy white paper from where he tried to pull them off. some of them aren’t even proper stickers and just shit he peeled off from places while he was wandering around and stuck onto the vespa

even in canon i see him as the kind of guy who like. you look at him and think jesus how is this guy still alive he’s so noodly and soft, but he’s unexpectedly sort of street smart

anyway i mentioned this before but didn’t elaborate. biker au orph, to eury's surprise, does have his collection of scars, since he had a bit of a rough go at life

also he’s just ungainly and runs into shit

you can see em on his sketch page. he has a bit more than what’s shown, but what’s visible is a little slash across the bridge of his nose onto his cheek, and two on his left forearm. he probably has a stab scar in his side from just getting fucking knifed. the ones on his left forearm are from when a drunk coming out of a bar charged him with a fork

eurydice also has scars. kind of hard not to with the kind of life she lives

ok thats it. For Now. i don’t know how persephone or the fates or the workers factor in, if at all. I barely know how Hades factors in, mostly what i’ve said so far and that he does what he does to support himself and persephone. ah well! just have this

as this is extremely based off of AKIRA, i verily recommend listening to the movie’s soundtrack. besides the fact that it slaps hard as hell, the opening song, Kaneda’s Theme, has the perfect vibes for the city and the tone of eurydice and orpheus riding at night through it

[nikosarc]

break my soul in two looking for you (but you’re right here)

hello here’s a silent knight drabble because i’m weak. pls be nice i’ve never written for neo and the last time i wrote for jaune was a thousand years ago, it’s not good but i did my best dammit. title comes from the song coney island by taylor swift.

It was getting a bit too crowded in the belly of this demon whale for Neo’s liking. Salem’s faction had already been larger than the mute girl had been anticipating. That in itself was irritating – going from Cinder’s partner to another cog in Salem’s machine, an “asset” didn’t sit right with Neo. Then came the young boy Salem called “Ozma.” Neo had to shut her ears and eyes to his torture on a daily basis. She’d give the kid this – his will was strong.  

Next one of the guys she’d fought when she’d stolen the relic – which she still hasn’t gotten credit for by the way - the one with black hair she’d tricked by turning into the ginger girl. That had been entertaining for a brief moment, but he’d been alone so it made for an easy takedown. He was being held elsewhere – alive, for now as incentive to make the boy talk, but that could change given recent developments.  

Recent developments being the newest addition to the whale. The blonde one. For some reason she’d pegged him as being smarter than his teammate. Neo was perceptive, it was her specialty, actually. She could tell the black-haired boy was weak mentally, emotionally, that was why she targeted him, and it was why, she’d wager, he came here impulsively looking for his kidnapped comrade and perhaps the relic.  

She didn’t think anyone else would be stupid enough to follow, not alone anyways, but then came this one. He’d put up a better fight, but he couldn't take on even the lowest of Salem’s underlings, not by himself.  

And she was his babysitter. Mercury was watching the other one and Hazel was probably keeping an eye on the child, probably eagerly awaiting his next approval to beat the kid to a pulp. And maybe they were delighting in their tasks, but Neo was bored. She couldn’t exactly tease or mouth off to him. Well, she could, but it wasn’t like he’d understand her. So they just...stared at each other. Or rather, she stared. He’d glance up at her with eyes full of contempt every so often but for the most part he seemed content to stare up at the ceiling or down in his lap. But she studied him with watchful eyes.  

He was quiet, pensive. Probably thinking of an escape plan for himself and his comrades. He was a smart guy, surely he realized Salem didn’t need two reasons to convince the kid to talk. Kill one while he watches to show him her threat is serious; Oscar would be willing to do anything to protect the one left alive. Their window was closing fast, and he must realize that, but Neo also knew these boys had plenty of other friends who could come to their aid if they were stupid enough.  

And attachments certainly had a way of making people stupid.  

He was still as a statue for the most part, the only subtle movements he made every so often occurred when he rubbed the fabric of his scarlet sash between his fingers. The bright red stood out against the darkness of the rest of his outfit and the pristine white of his armor like a sore thumb. The longer she stared at it, the more a memory itched at the back of her mind.  

A girl with fire-engine-red hair and a sash around her waist to match. She’d carried her team throughout the Vital tournament, Neo remembered, though she’d never gotten the pleasure of fighting her. She’d been Cinder’s pawn, the spark that would be used to ignite the world. She’d met her fate – her destiny – that night.  

He was one of her teammates, the sash must have been hers. Neo wasn’t the only one who lost someone when Beacon fell, it seemed, and she wasn’t the only one who still carried a piece of them with her. The thought was enough to make the small woman unconsciously reach up, her fingers ghosting over the velvety brim of her hat – Roman's hat. She frowned, the color draining slightly from each of her heterochromatic eyes, and when she looked back up she was horrified to learn that the tables had turned. He was now staring at her. If the realization in his cerulean eyes was anything to go by, Neo would wager he’d put two and two together.  

She glared at him, color and intensity returning to her eyes. She didn’t want his pity, and he sure as shit wasn’t getting any from her.  

“You really cared about him, didn’t you?” His voice was hoarse – with emotion, misuse, or weariness, she couldn’t tell, nor did she care enough to find out.  

Believing he wouldn’t understand her anyway, she answered via sign language. “He was my only friend” her scowl deepened as she went on. “And your friend killed him.”  

His deep blue eyes shifted from moderate compassion to confusion to anger in a matter of moments. She didn’t register what that must mean until after he’d already said “Guess that makes us even, then” in a bitter voice.  

Neo froze. A moment passed before she shook off her surprise and signed, “You understand me?”

Some of the anger left his eyes as he replied calmly, “My sister taught me a little.” He didn’t elaborate, and Neo found herself wanting to ask, but first she felt the need to defend herself.  

“Cinder is not my friend.”

“Coulda fooled me.”  

Neo frowned. “She’s not. We just want the same thing.”

He was silent for a moment. She could see him translating in his head but even after that there was a noticeable pause. “Revenge.” He nods, and Neo bristled slightly at the idea that this guy thinks he’s got her all figured out. “It won’t change anything. It won’t - won’t bring him back.”

Neo glared daggers at him. Maybe not, but it’s all I have left. She didn’t dare sign those words, but the look on his face told her that he was reading her like an open book, and she quickly looked away, not wanting to see the sympathy in his eyes. She didn’t want it – didn't deserve it. When she went to sleep at night, she had dreams about murdering his friend, why on earth would he look at her like that?

“And even if it did, Ruby didn’t kill him.”  

She gave him a sharp look at that, and if looks could kill he’d already be dead. Did he think she was stupid? Some dumb little girl that didn’t know how to enact revenge properly? Ruby was the last person to see Roman alive before he died. Whatever happened up there, it was her fault he was gone.  

“I know she’s my friend and I’m sure you think I’d say anything to defend her, but you can trust me when I say Ruby’s not like that. She’s all about protecting life, she’d never kill anyone.”  

She scoffed at that. Trust me. Neo didn’t trust anyone – the only person she’d ever extended that courtesy to was dead. What had this golden-haired stranger with his earnest ocean eyes and sincere voice done to earn her trust?  

There was silence for a moment and then, “From what she told me,” he began, sounding, for all accounts, like he was simply thinking out loud. “He got swallowed by a grimm.”  

That statement hung in the air for a moment, the implications of that fact not lost on either of them. They both knew who controlled the grimm, and they both knew who was there that night that served her.  

Neo had no reason to believe him – or Ruby. But an annoying voice in the back of her head reminded her that she had no reason to believe Cinder, either. She’s been here long enough to see how things – these people – worked. Salem wrapped her followers up in her honeyed words and grand promises. She was manipulative and Cinder was molded in her image.  

Neo huffed and turned away from Jaune before crossing her arms. She didn’t want to think about this. She was fine where she was, she was on her way to getting what she wanted, who did this boy think he was to come in here and put doubts in her mind?

She could hear him shift behind her, getting up from his place on the ground she’d wager. She tensed, wondering if he was going to try and fight his way out again, but then he spoke gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, Neopolitan.” He called, and she uncrossed her arms, some of the anger leaving her.  

She didn’t know what compelled her to do so, but she turned around and signed. “Just Neo.”  

There was a pause, and he looked like he was thinking before he signed “I’m sorry, Neo.”  

Neo blinked in surprise. All this time they’d been able to communicate because he understood her language – and that in itself was rare – but here he was reaching out to her using her language. The last person who’d bothered to do that for her was Roman.  

What is this guy’s game?

He was playing her, he had to be. She’d thought he was planning an escape, and this must be it. Get inside her head, plant doubts so she’d slip up and let him go while he left her with the fallout when Salem inevitably found out. Well, Neo wasn’t stupid enough to fall for it. She marched up to him, her eyes vibrant and defiant as they glared at him defiantly. She stopped maybe a foot from him, glaring up at him, he was well over a foot taller than she was, but she didn’t care. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not gonna work.”

His eyes looked sad then, and she realized much to her chagrin that he felt sorry for her. “I can’t tell you what to do, Neo,” he said sincerely, and suddenly Neo could feel the fight leaving her. She deflated; her glare retreated leaving eyes that looked almost as sad as his. “But I can tell you that you deserve better than this place and these people.”  

Their eyes met once more before he turned away from her, leaving Neo alone with her thoughts again.  

Except the only thought that came to her was whether or not his inevitable escape attempt would be successful. Why she felt a tiny glimmer of hope in the back of her mind that he would be, she couldn’t say. Or didn’t want to.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

10x18 - TTD Clues

Okay, let’s talk TTD. Usually I just have like 4-5 talking points from TTD, but there was a LOT in this episode. And, let’s face it. Given that it’s the Leah episode, there’s lots to discuss anyway. But everything in TTD just backs up what I’ve already said. Namely, that Leah and Daryl are NOT soulmates. And that there’s a lot of Beth symbolism and foreshadow here.

So, let’s just dive right in.

1)    Despite Chris calling it a “powerful relationship” in the intro (thanks a lot, Chris), when Nicole Mirante-Matthews, the writer, starts talking about it, it’s much better. She says this Leah thing will be relevant to a lot of things moving forward, including Connie. Which I take to mean that this affected his mindset and will probably change how he approaches things we’ll see in his story. 

She says that these were two lost souls, who happen to meet at a specific place and time and sort of crash together. That specifically suggests that it’s not a long-term thing. It’s more of a rebound and they were both lonely, and that’s why it happened. Then she says that this will affect things “reverberating forward into his present day story, which we’re rolling out here.” Because we understand the Bethyl template, and that Beth will be returning soonish, that just screams Beth to me.

2)    Chris talks about the grave marker Daryl looks at and how it’s kind of a fake out, as many people (who hadn’t read spoilers) would assume it was Leah’s grave. I talked about this Monday, and how it reminded me of the Beth/Tyreese fake out. I got that from TTD. Because I’d already read spoilers, the idea of that being mistaken for Leah’s grave wouldn’t have occurred to me.

And of course if she’s a hallucination, the grave marker may even be Leah’s. 

3)    Chris also mentioned massive time gaps. Now, he’s talking about the six-year time gap in which Leah happened, but still. I felt like the way he said it is to remind us that there are time gaps that have to be explained at some point, *coughs missing 17 days*

4)    Fun fact: the puppy’s name is Carl. Now, I can’t REALLY point to that as a TD thing, because the puppy’s name really is Carl. But I couldn’t help but wonder if THEY named the dog that. And even if not, they still felt the need to mention it here. I’m side-eyeing a little. Only because there are such strong symbolic ties between Carl’s death and Beth’s return. But hey, take it or leave it. Just my TD brain working overtime.

5)    They mentioned the map in the “in memoriam.” So, you know how I said yesterday that Map = Beth. Yeah, they actually treat Map as a lost character here. I’m just saying.

6)    Denise Huth’s pre-taped interview talks about a “lightening” for Daryl. Uuummmm. I don’t want to go into this in too much detail here, but this is part of the eclipse symbolism. Okay, I’ll just run through it super fast, but I’ll probably do a post in more detail later. Beth = sun. In an eclipse, the sun is hidden by the moon. So it’s the “what is hidden” or “what is not seen” theme. Some of the sun’s light is still seen around the edges of the moon (think of that as the symbolism that seeps out) but the sun itself (Beth) is still hidden. Gimple described Coda using the word “penumbra” which is the darkest part of the shadow thrown during an eclipse, and Maggie told Glennin 5x10, “This is just the dark part.” If things are getting lighter, it’s because the eclipse is almost over. The darkest part of the shadow has passed and things are getting lighter. And that’s actually what we see in the eclipse scene with Daryl and Leah. The eclipse being almost over and the sun starting to peek through. So this is all just another way of saying Beth is about to appear.

7)    There’s a point where Lynn Collins suggests that maybe we would have seen a Daryl/Leah kiss if not for Covid restrictions, but the writer immediately corrects her and says it was a creative choice. She sights reasons such as the fans being protective of Daryl and not trying to piss them off too much, but that seems very significant to me. I think they didn’t want to show Leah and Daryl kissing (even though the sex implication is there) because they’re saving that for someone else.

8)    At one point, talking of Daryl and Carol’s fight, MMB mentioned the scene in S2 where they fought over Sophia. Just seemed significant to me that she brought that up, because that’s basically ground zero for the missing girl theme, and the first person we saw Daryl searching for. Now, this entire episode, he’s searching for Rick, and it’s full of Beth themes.

9)    Back to the map. I said Monday I would go back to the opening scene where Carol picked up the piece of the map and put it in Daryl’s bag. I never did. Lol. Sorry about that. I threw a LOT of info at you and totally forgot to go back to it. Just keep in mind that this was probably a foreshadowing, and Map = Beth. And they specifically brought that scene up on TTD and drew attention to it, though of course they talked about it in the context of Daryl and Carol.

The other thing that several people have brought up is that map seems to be destroyed, and then whole again. I suppose I just thought he got a new map when I first watched the episode. Now, I agree with other that the state of the map is one of many ways they were hinting that parts or all of this is a hallucination. And again, they drew attention to the map on TTD.

10) When Chris asked the writer what the inspiration was for Carol’s “strong right foot” story, she got REALLY flustered. Now, that’s definitely TD symbolism. Related to the “missing foot/shoe” symbolism, in my opinion. In fact, if they’re synonymous (we’re just not entire certain yet) then this would definitely be a reference to both Beth and Ezekiel being missing. But anyway. The writer finally came up with how and why she had Carol tell the story of her grandmother. And I’m not saying it was a lie. The grandmother story is much more incidental than the “strong right foot” bit. But I don’t think Nicole expected that question or was prepared for it.

11) They did talk extensively about parallels between Leah and Carol, and I had to chuckle at what was said. They were just doing a lot of back-pedaling. So, first they said they are two completely different characters. Then they said they share a lot of qualities that Daryl recognizes. Then they say his relationship to Leah in the flashbacks is absolutely nothing like his relationship to Carol, both in the present and as it has been for many years. Did you catch all that? It’s their way of pointing out the parallels between Leah and Carol, but also taking care to make sure people know that Daryl and Carol are NOT romantic the way Daryl and Leah are. Lol. This is why I say its kind of the death knell for that ship. But again, why put parallels between Leah and Carol if the romance angle isn’t there? For the answer, read my very long analysis from yesterday.

12) On the “Inside the Dead” portion, it says that the breed of dog they use for Dog is often used for Military and Police K-9 Unites. Yeah, that’s purposeful. I think they specifically chose that breed of Dog to use on the show as Daryl/Leah’s dog, because it both calls back to Grady (police) and foreshadows the CRM (military).

13) Norma’s interview! Yay! This might have been my favorite part of TTD. Because the way he describes Daryl’s arc here makes it clear that it was one chapter of Daryl’s life that is now over. And what he says about Daryl being unable to allow himself to be happy with Leah says to me that he’s still hung up on someone else.

This probably made me happier back when I thought Leah was real. But the other thing is that he specifically uses a Matrix metaphor (the red pill vs the blue pill.) Umm? The red pill vs the blue pill situation in the Matrix is what brought Neo out of the construct and into reality. This is Norman’s very obvious way of telling us that Leah isn’t real. Daryl is in the Leah Matrix in this episode.

14) When speaking of the arm that Leah throws at Daryl, they said something really interesting. My fellow theorists and are still batting around ideas for what the arm symbolism might mean. But MMB called it “dead weight” that Leah was basically getting rid of. And they all agreed that symbolically that was true. So the arm represented Leah getting rid of the dead weight of her past and working through it. Wow. Where to start with this?

If she were real, that just shows that this is all this relationship was. Once she’d worked through her own losses, she wanted Daryl to commit to her, but he couldn’t. Because he hadn’t worked through his. Plus, a relationship built on this sort of thing, as I’ve already described, is never going to last in the long term. But of course, assuming she’s a hallucination, this is really just Daryl trying to work through his issues and shed his past. It doesn’t really work. 

Dead Weight is literally the name of the episode in 4b where the Governor was a MASSIVE Beth proxy.

Shedding one’s tragic past while in a little cabin in the woods, with DARYL, is pretty much the synopsis of Still. So, it just backs up the symbolic retelling of Bethyl.

All right. That’s what I got for TTD. Anyone see anything I missed?

[dubububbles]

SHINee scenario: idol s/o asks them to collaborate for their comeback song

(I want to request an idol gf scenario to you asking them to collaborate for your comeback song. Thanks a bunch! I love all your scenarios and they’ve picked me up when I had a rough day (same day i found your blog) so thank you so much!)

Requested by anon 

- you’re welcome! ❤️ & thank u for your sweet words! I’m really happy to hear that, it’s why I wanted to do this blog, to make myself and anyone else feel better or smile. I hope this one can also bring some joy to you~ ❤️

Onew: 

“Oh? Why are you here?” You blinked in confusion as Onew stepped inside your dorm uninvited and approached you with a grin. He seemed to be up to something, at least judging from his expression, and it made you feel even more lost. “Did something happen?” 

“I have something to tell you.” He said and grabbed your hand to pull you over to the couch. If he wouldn’t be smiling so much, you would’ve thought he was bringing you bad news. 

“Okay, now you are scaring me a bit… seriously, what’s going on Onew?” 

“It’s nothing bad. In fact, it’s something I think will make you very happy.” he said but you still had no clue what he was about to tell you. “Do you remember when you asked me if we could do a collaboration for a comeback sometime?” 

You quickly realized what he was hinting at and widened your eyes a bit. “No way… can we?” 

He nodded with a proud grin. “We can and we will. I pulled some strings and got us a comeback date schedule for November this year. It should give us enough time to-- ooof!” his words were cut short as you more or less knocked him over in a messy hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are seriously the best boyfriend ever!” 

Onew smiled at those words and hugged you back tightly. He then spent the rest of the day in your dorm as you both talked about possible ideas for your new comeback. 

Jonghyun: 

Jonghyun perked up with a grin when you entered the studio and instantly opened his arms for a hug, which you gave him, along with a kiss, and then sat down. 

“You said you had something to show me?” 

He nodded and turned to the computer screen. “I made a demo for our new song and thought you should hear it first.” 

“Oh? Our song?” you blinked a few times and then pointed back and forth between you, to clarify that he was really talking about the two of you, which made him laugh. 

“Yes, our song, y/n. You were the one who brought up the idea for us to have a collab and asked me about it. Remember?” 

You did remember but you didn’t imagine that he would actually make it possible and also have a song ready for you within such a short period of time. He was honestly amazing. 

“How did you compose a song this quickly?” 

“I was thinking about my beautiful girlfriend and it basically wrote itself. Now, do you want to listen to it or not?” 

He teased you with a playful grin and then played the song. While you were both listening to it he also wrapped his arms around you in a loose but comfortable embrace. 

The song had an upbeat feel and fit into the neo-soul genre, along with some of his other masterpieces, which you thought would suit both of you really well. You could already picture how your MV, comeback stage, style and more would look and it made you feel really excited.

Key: 

The idea of having a collab with your boyfriend appeared in your mind randomly one night as you were watching different performances on youtube, specifically some clips from Key’s musicals and his performance of ‘bang bang’ with Tiffany back in 2013. 

He really pulled off the musical theme well and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to perform that kind of song together with him. You continued to watch more performances like that and couldn’t let go off the thought, so you eventually reached for your phone and called him. 

“Why are you calling this late? Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“Yes, because of you.” you said along with a small huff. “I was watching some of your performances.” 

“Oh, really? Which one? Born to shine?” he questioned on purpose, since he knew how that particular performance affected you. 

“What? No! N-not that one…” you said and blushed at the mere thought of it. “I was actually watching some of your musical theatre stuff and it made me wonder if we could ever perform something like that together… like… for a comeback?” 

Key perked up at the suggestion and then smiled to himself, since he thought it was a good idea. He also found it cute how you brought the question to him in a shy manner. 

“Sounds good. Let’s do it~” 

“Oh? That was easier than I thought.”

“Why? You thought I would refuse?” He asked and chuckled a bit. “I would love to perform with you y/n. That shouldn’t come as a surprise.” 

You smiled but felt really happy with his words and spent the rest of the night talking about what type of performance you wanted to do.

Minho: 

“When are you going to have a solo album?” 

Minho perked up at the sudden question and then turned to you with a warm smile. “Why are you asking me that out of the blue?” 

“Because…” you trailed off and then frowned a bit to yourself. “I think some people don’t appreciate your vocals enough and you also didn’t have enough room to show it off. It’s not fair, since some people, like me, actually do appreciate it and want more of it. So, therefore, I think you should have a solo. That’s all...” 

Minho chuckled a bit at your words and how you delivered them in a stubborn manner. He also felt really grateful that you always found subtle ways to compliment or support him. 

“I appreciate that y/n but I don’t know if I would want to perform all by myself. It’d feel odd.” 

“Hm then, why don’t you have a collaboration?” 

“Oh? With you?”

“Ah well… yes?” you blushed a bit but also felt excited at the idea of it. Before he had even said anything about it, you already started thinking of what type of genre your song would have, what the lyrics would be about and where you would film the music video. 

“y/n?” 

Minho eventually had to wave a hand in front of your face to get your attention and when he did he smiled and told you that he was definitely on-board with the idea, which made you smile and then hug him tightly.

Taemin: 

“Taemin, do you think we could have a collab sometime? You know, just you and me?” 

Taemin perked up at the question, since he had actually been thinking about the same thing but just hadn’t gotten around to asking you yet. When you brought it up first, he felt really happy and didn’t hesitate to agree. 

“I’ve actually thought about that too. So, we should definitely do it when we have an opening between promotions.”

“Really?” you asked and then smiled in excitement. “Then, what type of concept do you think we should do?” 

“Hm, well… I think it would be interesting to do a dance performance. I mean, a performance where we would tell the story through our dance instead of the lyrics. What do you think?” 

You definitely liked the idea and also found it unique. Taemin had performed modern dance in his songs in the past, so you thought it would be cool to do something similar to that but as a duo. 

Both of you would often sing or dance together for practice or during your free time, so to do it as a comeback, on an actual stage and with an original song sounded very appealing to you and filled you with happiness. 

You were both the main dancer’s of your respective groups, so you definitely had the ability to pull off something amazing and you could hardly wait to do so and take the whole K-pop community by storm.

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Motion Sickness Chapter 64

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"You owe me big," I said to Bisque. We were watching Wenge and Jasper sprint back and forth across a small courtyard behind the bar.

"I hear you, I hear you," Bisque said. "We were sort of roped into more than we could chew."

"Between the strikes and whatever those leaders want?" I asked.

"People started looking at us like we were supposed to have answers. That's how the old White Fang got started around here. Just as union leaders and such. Now that they've been discredited and with our network people were looking at us to pick up the slack."

"So you got dragged into this, you're being strong armed into doing this operation before y'all are ready."

"By those old miner leaders. Dyne and Barret. Dyne's been around for a long ass time. Barret's newer but they're both close. Barret is backing Dyne. Which means we need to play ball too."

"Which is why you owe me. Big time. I want information. As soon as you have it. I have a list of names I'll want you to keep an ear to the ground about and if you want me to kill Taurus it'll cost you extra," I informed him. Never let it be said I was purely altruistic. I saw my edge over him and I was taking it.

He slapped a hand over his face. "No, no. Don't kill him. At least not yet if you can help it. And I'll take your list of names."

"That's just the start. I don't want Lien. I'll want any other information that you can give me when and if I ask for it. A blank check." I leaned against the wall of the bar beside Neo with my arms crossed.

"Fine. Fair enough." He rubbed his forehead hard. "We do owe you. Thanks Cloud."

"And you'll want to upgrade the fucking squirt gun you've got."

"What's wrong with my pistol?" He asked.

"It's a fucking .22."

"Hey now. It's a .30."

"Still. Those sometimes don't stop regular people. You'll want something with more kick to it. I can pick up something better from Aurum. Lasers, higher caliber, or even something magnetic accelerated so it still has as much kinetic energy as a .44 or .45. Hell, you should probably talk .50 cal if you want to stop anybody with aura and training."

"So I should go big or go home?" He asked.

"More like go big or die, bro," I said. "I knew this fifteen year old who used a .50 caliber sniper rifle. If you're really attached to something small I could get you a submachine gun."

"I'll think about it," he said.

"Think fast," I shot back.

We watched Jasper and Wenge pant and sprint in their suicides for a hard moment.

"You going to -" I was interrupted by the jingle of bells as the bar's door opened.

I was going to ask if he was going to join Jasper and Wenge who were working hard. Avalanche all had aura but having aura didn't make you good, I'd been living proof of that. Even having a semblance didn't make you good. Only training or else real combat could help with that.

I peaked around the corner and through a screen door. It was Robyn Hill in the bar. I recognized her face from the posters of her all over both towns. She had pale hair (not as snow white as Weiss's) and purple eyes, not quite as vibrant as Yangs, but she was still beautiful. Aura-hunter-beautiful.

"Bar's closed," Bisque told her. I heard through the back door entrance and window.

"Oh don't be like that. I just want to talk about the General's project."

"Not this time. You shot us down, remember. Or your agent did, Fiona was it," Bisque returned. He didn't look amused.

"I have some Lien I could offer you." Robyn said and she leaned against the counter. Her face on one palm. "Sorry we weren't about the destruction of Schnee property. But look where that got you."

"The value of money is plummeting for me recently," Bisque said dryly.

I snorted. Money only talked so loudly to hunters like Neo and I. I was willing to bet she had more millions stashed away than the ones we took from Don Corneo. But that wasn't how you kept Neo entertained. Well, drugs and alcohol helped but what she really wanted was somebody to fuck with. Even if that somebody was only me and it had to do with a night I'd gotten black-out drunk on. She was milking that for all it was worth.

"How much will that information cost me?" Hill asked. "What can I do to make you call off these strikes? Come on, work with me here. I'm listening now."

"A few hundred thousand. And we're not in charge of the strikes."

She winced at the price but sighed in a way that didn't make it seem undoable. "I'll see about getting you your money. And that's not the way I hear it. These are your strikes now."

"They're not. You're looking for Dyne or Barret."

"Dyne is unreconcilable. He's on the warpath. He wants the strikes to never end just so long as Schnee suffers. He's unreachable. And Barret is angry. He'll stay that way for the foreseeable future. You're not, work with me here," she said again. "What will it cost? I'm willing to make all kinds of campaign promises. I'll keep them too. I'm a woman of my word. You want dust lung laws? I want them too. Why don't we start negotiating there? The strikes have to end somewhere."

"We want increased safety standards. And we want an increase in minimum wage. Wages haven't kept up with inflation so the current wage is unlivable."

"Done. Please. I can't get elected under this kind of unrest. Just join my voting block, getting your people to join my block will solve both of our problems."

"I'm not sure I can do that. There's more on the way."

"What else is on the way?"

"I can't talk to you about it but we have another operation."

"Another? Like the one that kicked off these protests? Put it off." She sounded desperate. "Cancel it."

"Can't do that. Some old guard in the White Fang are insisting upon it and in the miners guild, too. They're putting pressure on me and Avalanche." Bisque crossed his arms and replied coldly.

"Who?" She demanded. "I'll convince them otherwise."

"You can't. It's Dyne and Adam Taurus."

"Taurus? And Dyne, both? You have to do this?"

"Or else I'm afraid that Avalanche will lose control over the strikes completely."

"So? Let it happen. You can't tell me you meant for things to go this far. Fiona said it was mostly symbolic."

"We'd never be a player in the unions ever again if we stood by the wayside now. We have to be willing to act as much or more than anyone and everyone else."

"Damn it. When's the operation? Will you tell me that at least?" She pleaded.

"Tomorrow night. The others want to put a fire under Jacques Schnee and prevent him from getting comfortable. They want to force him to act and capitulate to the strikes. We had this operation in mind before and one thing led to another once the others found out about it."

"I'll get your money wired to you. Tell me about the General's project with Amity." She leaned forward towards him. She was anxious to hear about it.

I watched her stick out a hand. Bisque took it. A dull lilac hue took over both their hands all the way up to the elbow. I could feel the low hum of aura from where I watched through the screen window. She was doing something .

"The General is turning the colosseum into a satellite. Getting communication back up and running between the kingdoms. It's his current number one priority."

She withdrew. "That's it? That's why he's diverting supplies from Mantle? At least as far as you know, I suppose."

"The intel is good. We had people who worked on the project come to us," Bisque said. "Cetra who were or are involved in the construction joined our union network. They reported it to us."

"That's… that's good news I suppose. But the rest you have got to find a way to settle down the protests and get them to vote for me. I'm willing to grant all your concessions once I become a council member. None of them are unreasonable or outside of my policies," Hill negotiated. She really wanted a bunch of politically active people on her side come election day. I could get that. Voter efficacy was low all too often, even back in Vale.

"I'll talk to people and spread the word. I only promise to try."

"And another thing, Fiona mentioned two other people. She mentioned Cloud Strife. What's his angle in all this? I know he's been involved in the drug game and a prison break," Hill wondered.

"He was after the same information you were. Fiona should have been able to tell you that," Bisque answered. "Now, if that's actually everything, you can wire the money over and get out of my bar. We're closed. No service at the moment. We've got a happy hour at seven. You could come back then."

"Well thank you anyways. And don't worry about your money. I'll leave, then."

He came out to me again through the screen door in the back of the bar.

"You shook her hand," I introduced. "Why?"

"She's got a lie detection semblance. It's touch based, Striker ranged," he informed me.

I raised an eyebrow. A politician that valued truth in their very soul. Not her heart or mind but in the core of her very being. You didn't find that on every street corner.

Well she had my vote. Not that I could vote. None of my identities were Atlas or Mantle citizens so I was pretty much in the same class as a felon. Not that I wasn't also a felon.

"You sure you should have told her so much about the operation. She could interfere," I told him. "If she does that's on you."

"I didn't tell her that much. And if she does interfere it might be for the best. I don't really want this op to happen. Maybe she'll be able to stop the operation, Avalanche won't have to back down, and nobody will get hurt."

"Yeah well I don't want to go to prison. Something to keep in mind. The law isn't exactly on our side," I muttered. "For all that we're standing here plotting this in broad daylight."

"Oh I wasn't aware. I'll try to keep that in mind." His tone was as dry as ice.

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I scoped out the ship I would be sinking with Neo. Or 'Mint' as she was in her disguise. She snuck aboard easily enough and took a photo of a map of the ship with her scroll. She sent it to me and I examined it closely.

I needed to figure out where we would set the charges so that the explosion would just sink the vessel and not destroy the harbor in a dust driven detonation.

The place had cameras for security and a handful of human and faunus guards. But for the most part the ship was ruled and watched over by robots. Robots I'd have no problem taking apart. It was the people I needed to lure out somehow so that they didn't die when the ship went down or similar.

There were lifeboats onboard but I didn't need any more blood on my hands. I was powerful enough that I suppose I could take steps to avoid death now. I didn't need to go all out against a group of aura-lacking sentries anymore.

I could bop them without killing them now. And I knew Neo was in a similar ballpark. She just usually didn't care.

I studied the map in detail. Neo turned visible again as she paced away from the large grey vessel. It had soft blue mooring lights and a big Schnee Dust Company logo on the side.

I could see men and women and machines up on the deck at their posts. They all had smooth looking assault rifles and shotguns. The kind of heavy weaponry the SDC needed to keep their high valued assets safe. I was sure they were on decent high alert now, too. I'd scraped with some of them at the mine so they knew that wasn't just an accident.

She came up behind me on my bike and wrapped her arms around me. I turned around to spot her small smirk. She was still teasing me. At least she was still doing what I told her to do in a general sense.

She pulled herself snuggly against me and pressed her face into my back. I could feel it against my skin after a layer of clothes over armor. Maybe it was just her aura I was feeling against me like the flare of a cold burning candle.

I could feel her mischievous mood. She had no one to target but me at the moment.

"Don't be a brat, Neo." She shuffled softly against me in what I realized was mute laughter.

I revved my engine and pulled away from the ship.

"I'm thinking about setting off an explosion as a distraction. To lure the people off the ship. The last thing we want is to have to kill people and stain our unblemished records."

The wind whistled through my face as I pulled the bike into traffic.

"Maybe I'll set you loose on the guards. Harass them with illusions that get them off the ship. Would that make you happy or would you rather blow something up."

She shrugged against me unhelpfully.

"Well then we will probably do a little of column A and a little of column B. How many people can you teleport at once with you, Neo."

She tapped my chest three times. That meant I could get four of us on board. More if I flew. Just five of us to cause enough of a ruckus that we drew the living guards' attention but not so much noise that we brought the entire facility down on our heads. There was a balance to play. A particular key to strike.

I needed to draw only so much attention and it had to be the kind of attention that grabbed living beings and left the machines to mostly do their work.

I recalled the robots. They were humanoid things for the most part. They were built fast and could be destroyed just as easily by hunters like us. Their weapons would only cause a problem if I gave their targeting computers time to really line up a shot and if I gave them a chance to shoot as a group.

Not allowing them to use their strength of numbers was a good call. Don't sit still enough that they got a good solution for me. It was a good start but I needed more.

There could be more menacing machines on board. Giant spider or scorpion bots or larger humanoid mechs like the Atlesian Paladins we had fought back at Beacon's fall.

I wasn't sure how much trouble those kinds of machines were going to give me given how much stronger I had become. Plus I was loaded with dust crystals and I knew how to use them.

I needed to start a fire. Something like that would draw the human crew to the lifeboats and off the ship but would leave the machines behind.

I could also use Neo's power to get a few of us on board and get the party started.

I pulled up on a gondola for vehicles and pulled out my scroll and started looking over the ships schematics. I say schematics but there was a small 'you are here' sign on it indicating it was really a map set up somewhere inside.

I wanted to set the charges near the front of the ship away from the cargo hold where all the dust was sitting around and waiting to explode.

That should stop a chain reaction of explosions depending on how big the explosives we used were. I had better make those myself.

I was already thinking through the designs I knew to cause a hole just large enough to rupture the exterior hull of the boat. Just enough to rock the ship and not blow up the entire harbor.

I swung by Aurum's club on a gondola for vehicles and picked up a .50 caliber pistol for Bisque who still hadn't made up his mind. So I made it up for him. I put the heavy boxes of ammunition behind me on the bike with the spare magazines for the weapon.

It was a good thing he and the others had yet to be in a real huntsman-class fight or they would have lost pretty badly.

The only thing to do from here was build the bombs and I could do that easily enough at my apartment. So that was my next stop.

I wired together several dust crystals, enough that I thought it would be able to blow a hole in the ship's exterior if it was set against it but not so much that it would spread through the rest of the boat's interior. I made two because I thought one was probably enough to do it so I might as well go all in.

Then I set them up to be able to blow from a remote source. In this case just my scroll. It was actually pretty easy. Not as easy as throwing them really hard but just about using two small arduinos, one a piece.

The only thing left to do was share the plan with Avalanche, the miners, and Taurus and hope that went off without a hitch before the plan even started.

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-WG

[oveliagirlhaditright]

This Is Your Life - NeShiki

A NeShiki AU for Week 2, Day 2. Neo Spoilers. Oneshot.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33449641

Shiki and Neku had been together for three years now… Three blissful years, even amidst all the heartache and pain of them having to live in the UG these days, but blissful they were.

Shiki could still remember well, the time that Neku had wanted to celebrate Christmas with her in the UG (their first Christmas together) and had wanted to buy a tree, of course. And he had… But he’d ended up buying a fake palm tree to decorate with instead of a pine tree, in fearing that if someone happened to see him in the UG… they might somehow link Christmas to the Christian God, and then that with the Composer, and then maybe jump to the right conclusion that Neku knew who the Composer was, and bring even more danger down on them all that way.

So, Neku had bought a fake palm tree. And, truly, it had been silly. Shiki had been sure to tease Neku for it, too. And later, even he’d realized he overreacted (even though they probably wouldn’t take back the chance to try and protect Josh, even if they could… as he had been pretty good to them since enlisting them here)… but even with the silliness, it was probably Shiki’s happiest memory. She’d put a Malibu Barbie on top as the “angel”, and Neku had replied that that seemed fitting of a fashionista like her… and it had all been ridiculous, and so much fun.

And it was for that kind of happiness, that Shiki was mostly glad that she had ended up in the UG with Neku again. She hadn’t killed herself after Coco had murdered him—even though a part of her had been tempted to, to Partner with him in the Game again if he had needed her—and hadn’t gone back to the old Shiki, but rather had gone to work getting Gatto Nero up off the ground with Eri.

But then… Shiki had died in another accident. Not a car accident this time, but a piano falling on her head, of all things, while she was walking down the street. Thankfully, she hadn’t felt that, and the next thing she’d known, she’d been in the UG with Neku and Joshua…

Shiki had then thrown her arms around Neku then and sobbed uncontrollably. And while Neku often tried to act calm, cool and collected, she thought that he had behaved as emotionally as she had when they’d been reunited.

Joshua had explained then, that he was just going to give her the penalty of not being able to play the Game again, since she and Neku were Partners (at the time, Shiki had wanted to slap Josh—thinking that he was trying to rip away her chance of trying to come back to life again—but now she understood he had just given her the solid of not having to play the Game again), and for that reason, they would be his unofficial Reapers working with him to figure out what had happened in Shinjuku.

Neku had apparently been working with Josh on that as soon as he’d died… though Shiki could tell he wanted to come back home, eventually, and so did she.

So, she told herself that when they stopped whatever was going to happen to Shibuya—Josh had to be mums the word about some things, it seemed—she would try and see if he would let them go back to the RG.

Shiki wanted to believe that Joshua would let them… seeing as how he hadn’t forced them to become actual Reapers, or anything—which he more than had the power to do so—and instead pretty much let them be Players, but without a Game to play.

Shiki did still work on Gatto Nero with Eri. Very rarely, Joshua would tune her into the RG, so they could work on a few designs—she would go and see her bestie in the dead of night—and the next day, they would be back to having to e-mail it again… It was hard, but Shiki would take it.

So, this was the life that Shiki and Neku (and Josh, to an extent) had had for three years. A lot of the time, they would live with Joshua at the Shibuya River—because it was faster to be able to work with him on things that way—but other times, they needed their private time and stayed in an abandoned house together. Relators said that it was haunted, which was why people didn’t go there, but Neku—who had learned how to scan Souls during some of their time in Shinjuku—told Shiki that that wasn’t true in the slightest: to which she had had to giggle, that people could be so superstitious.

This was the life that Shiki and Neku had built for themselves… And maybe it was a little reckless to split up from Josh, when they had so many people gunning for them. But she and Neku deserved some happiness, right?

They both had seemed to think so… but now Shiki was very much wondering about that, when in this new Game… Neku had been caught—after he’d been unable to help himself from aiding Players in need—when he’d been going back from the Shibuya River to their home.

And Shiki hadn’t heard from him since he had headed for the Room of Reckoning this morning.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened. And Shiki did find herself going outside, to hear players and Reapers alike talk about how they were going to catch Neku.

“Oh, Neku,” Shiki thought, as a tear escaped from her eyes now, “I should have made more of the trips to Josh myself. I’m less recognizable than you are, since my Entry Fee was my appearance and most people don’t know what I look like now. Nor am I a ‘legendary player’. Your leaving now had foolish written all over it, and I should have seen it and gone in your stead!”

The fact that Neku hadn’t even had time to text her since he’d become the UG’s most wanted didn’t bode well to Shiki, either.

And Shiki was freely crying now—and near a panic attack, as she clutched at her arms—but she told herself to hold it together. It wouldn’t do to start fretting while standing over here at her and Neku’s dining room table…

Their dining room table that Neku had once gotten so sick at, almost acting liking he had Malaria, as he how tripped down the stairs and into it, while Shiki had looked up from her knitting, horrified—even after being in the UG, he had gotten this sick, when she wouldn’t have thought that that was possible—and she’d had to lay him down on the table to get him to drink medicine as fast as she could then, as his fever had been great… and he had finally grown to like the stuff, and the flavor of it that she liked, too… And then, thankfully, he’d been alright.

If Shiki started losing it so that she couldn’t help now, she would never again get to heal Neku, or share more of her favorite flavors with him.

So, she had to do something!

Shiki no longer had Mr. Mew on her… she had given him to Tsugumi for her to use as a psych—as she’d had an even harder time finding a psych she could use than Shiki had—when it had seemed that she might be able to save Shinjuku in those early days… but she hadn’t gotten him back since Tsugumi had been lost.

But still… Shiki thought she could probably use some other psychs now, like telekinesis, if she had to.

She thought about calling Joshua for aid here… but Shiki feared that his hands were tied with the Higher Plane on this one. And if he was going to help Neku, he was probably already doing it or would have done so by now.

So, Shiki couldn’t waste time on that.

Instead… she prepared to run all over Shibuya to find Neku, if need be, but instead ended up going to the Scramble (so close to her and Neku’s home), which was pretty much right where she and Neku had met: since Hachiko Statue was right there.

Somehow, Shiki had known Neku would be there… and her instincts had been absolutely right about that.

Neku looked exhausted, worn down, and beaten, as he knelt on one of the Scramble Crossing’s many crosswalks now… All of the Players and Reapers fighting him must have really taken a toll on him, Shiki thought despairing and empathizing with Neku immediately.

And Tsugumi was about to erase Neku!

Shiki didn’t even think about what to do then!

She thought she saw a blond boy worrying with a certain pin, but she couldn’t process that now. Instead, she dove in the way of Neku and Tsugumi (holding him tightly as he shook, after she’d just saved him).

And after she got her bearings, Shiki very swiftly snatched her Mr. Mew from Tsugumi’s grip, synced up with Neku—and how she adored, that even now… that he was able to do that with her; if that didn’t show what they were to each other, she didn’t know what would—and did a level three fusion with him once more.

And once everyone was distracted by the laser show Mr. Mew was putting on with his eyes, Shiki grabbed Neku’s hand and ran.

Somehow, some way… she discovered she had a new psych like Neku did, as they sped away—that must have been activated the times Joshua tuned her back and forth—because Shiki could mess with their frequencies!

And for now, she got them both to the RG: Neku holding her and kissing her body all over in thanks and worship, as she did so.

She could breathe again.

And Shiki knew that their perfect life together would continue on… thank God or the Composer, she thought, grinning ear to ear and kissing him back.

Author’s Note: So, this is based on how after Tsugumi erases Beat or whatever… if you look closely, there’s a pair of white shoes that walk towards him afterwards.

And tbh… I was mostly certain that Hoodie was going to be Beat, and he was, but just for fun, I let myself imagine it was Neku or could have been him on this day. And I thought those shoes could have been Shiki coming to save him (because I thought they looked like the shoes she wore at the end of TWEWY, but now I think I’m just crazy). I also thought it might have been Rhyme coming to try and rescue Beat, but I doubt that, too. It was probably just Tsugumi walking or something.

But this whole story is based on that first fun AU idea. And that’s also why it ends right when Shiki saves Neku/when we see those shoes walking towards him or whatever.

Hope you all enjoyed!

And the medicine thing, is based on how… I think Neku didn’t like certain medicines in TWEWY? Or maybe none of them? Shiki liked one of them, though (I think). So, that’s what that whole thing is based on. I wanted it to be food, but I couldn’t find a canon food that Shiki liked that Neku disliked, that he could have changed his mind about for her, so this it was.

And it's NeShiki Day! I actually didn't think I would write this for NeShiki Day (I had something else done). And I just wanted to write tonight, and I didn't know where it would lead me. But, hey. It's NeShiki right on NeShiki Day. I think it's only right I share it for that day!:)