#spotify was like “oh? aight bet”

[cinamun]

Bruh...

My friend @nepotisim just gets me, knows me so well y'all. Y'all know I'm a UNSALVAGABLE music nerd and I'm always looking for new flavors. Well... This is one of those cases where I was not expecting the artist behind the voice like AT ALL. But the sound???

Excuse me if i'm late to the swsh party but when I say Spotify went in the most beautiful direction after I played it and now I'm rocking the likes of Ogi, Jerome Thomas, Enny, Gaidaa, Jorja Smith and Greentea Peng?? Like this is a whole different Spotify and I am EATING!! Look em up and TRUST ME on this.

[iam-anordinary-human-orami]

I know spotify wasn't a thing probably for the aftg universe but like imagine it was and the trojans are holding a spotify wrapped unwrapped party or some dumb name like that, where they gather the team and what they do essentially is they write down what their top 5 songs were on a piece of paper, give it to this year's presenter and that person plays songs from each top 5 and the trojans have to figure out whose list it is.

So everyone thinks oh jean probably listens to french music, whether classical or otherwise, cause he seems to be so out of touch with pop culture. But, they forget that Jean started living with two lesbians and a gay golden retriever(I don't mean bark bark) and so his music horizons have widened.

So it's Jean's top 5, no one knows of course. Presenter is one of the trojans "and here goes our next mystery contestant starting off strong with... a band named, I assume it's a band, um plastic titties?" People are snickering, "we get it you're gay" "they're lesbians Harold!", and Jean tenses but hides it very well that it's his top 5. Song starts. It's a screamo punk indie rock combo. Ppl start making guesses, "your honour I think it's Cat, only she knows fringe bands with monthly listeners less than this team's defence line" cat yelling back "not my fault you're a slave to the trends you swiftie!" , "Look me in the eye and tell me you dont know the words to 'love story' " , "Settle down, we ain't finished yet. Any other guesses?" , "Are we sure it's not one of the coaches?" , "Which coach do YOU think would listen to, and I repeat, 'plastic titties'? And if anyone else responds with 'your mom' I'm banning u from this round" , "Play the next one so we cop a feel" , "Why u gotta make it weird bro"

"Okay next one!" And the next one is like an intense rap song "someone's covering their tracks people", "we need to figure out whether this is working out music or what they genuinely listen to", "go on to the next one cause this is a bop but it could be anyone", "couldn't be Jeremy though" Jeremy standing up for himself "hey, I listen to rap" , "says the person who's top song was probably by Natasha Bedingfield", "beat the Sugababes fan allegations and then refer to our captain"

"Riight, next one is" and the next one is a funky hip hop anti-establishment song "sounds like Laila people" laila making it clear "I do listen to them but I can guarantee you that's not in my top favourites, not because it's not a banger, but because I don't listen to this album very much" , "she's lying to the defence your honour!" , "No one's in trial Cody sit down" Jean turning to look at Jeremy "and this is supposed to be a bonding exercise?" Jeremy thoroghouly invested in the game and scribbling down "bet you it's Ananya, she's been awfully quiet" Jean rolls his eyes, his hands crossed while he looks upon the second best collegiate exy team and wondering how his life came to this

"Aight? Is there anyone that has an educated guess?" Shawn puts his hand up, presenter says "I said educated" Shawn puts his hand down.

The last two songs are like an indie creepy heartfelt song and a ballad. This throws everyone off. At the end of the round everyone is accusing everyone and their mother, Jean with a sigh and rubbing his temples "we could be doing drills" , someone yells "I bet my firstborn it's Nabil!" , "You are an embarrassment to this team, sit down!" "Nabil is an anime nerd, I didn't hear a single Naruto in that playlist!", "That's not amv music your honour" , "bring the strikers forward let them justify their crimes upon the eyes of God!" , "If it's a crime to have good taste lock👏 me 👏up👏"

The presenter gets tired after a while "alright, kindly shut your traps so we can have a winning day! The mystery contestant is.. drumroll people! The mystery contestant isss....Jean" Silence. And then "I didn't know the french listen to screamo?", "But your honour, this is not coloniser music?", "Amelie is not even on there though", someone quietly "not a single song about baguettes?", "What's next? Jeremy Knox being a secret death metal fan?"

Meanwhile, Dan got the foxes to post screenshots of their top 5 songs on social media. The Internet is breaking cause why is Andrew Minyard's top song by the veronicas???

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Okay here we fucking go:

The Wedding Planner/The Wedding Ringer Klaine AU (HELLA AU do bear with me)

Blaine and Sebastian are getting married and they hire Kurt to be their wedding planner. What Blaine doesn’t know is that Sebastian sought Kurt specifically out because he also provides the service of hiring best men for guys who don’t have anyone to do it for them on the side. Except Sebastian doesn’t just need a best man. He doesn’t have any friends (bc he’s a dick or work or idk) and needs a total of six groomsmen (or grooms ppl idk) (including a best man) to match Blaine’s.

SO Kurt’s like “aight that’s a lot, idk if I can find that many, so we’re gonna tell Blaine that I’M your best man AND your wedding planner and we go way fucking back” and ofc Sebastian would be like “hell yeet” and Kurt brings in Finn, Puck, Sam, Mike, and Artie for the job BUT THEN

But then...

But then Kurt actually meets Blaine and has to do the majority of the planning with him (a la wedding singer (OH MY GOD THE CHRUCH TOnGUE SCENE)) and Kurt realizes he’s in love with Blaine BC SOULMATES OKAY

Ugh there would be brotherly furt scenes (and some Finchel lbr) bc I know who I am and Finn would be like “bruh, you clearly like Blaine” “He’s getting MARRIED” “yeah, to an ASSHOLE. You can’t let him go through with it” “you let Rachel get married to Jesse” “yeah and I regret it everyday” (ooooooh side plot, Rachel is part of Blaine’s wedding party don’t worry it’ll tie in to the main plot in a sec) and when Finn realizes Rachel’s part of Blaine’s wedding party they’re all like OH SHIT THIS COULD BE A PROBLEM aaaaaaand *CUE THE TENSION*

ANYWAYS Kurt tries to convince Sebastian to come clean about all of it before the wedding and Sebastian realizes Kurt’s in love with Blaine and is like “don’t bother showing up to the wedding” and there will probably be other dramatic elements that involve Kurt trying to talk Blaine out of getting married but not admitting his feelings yet yadda yadda

Kurt is sitting at home and is like “like HELL I’m not going to that wedding, I planned it I want to see my fucking masterpiece” and he shows up anyways and Sebastian’s like “you’re on THINNFUCKIN ICE BUDDY” and Kurt’s like whatever I’m just here to see the wedding (BET) and he accidentally walks into Finn and Rachel having an argument and Rachel just yells “If you had burst through those doors when they said speak now or forever hold peace, I would have gone with you!” or some shit like that and Kurt REALIZES and then at the ceremony the priest is like “Speak now or forever fold your peace”

And Kurt gives this big speech about how he’s in love with Blaine and fearlessly and forever bc again SouLMATES and they run away together anyways the reason I went on this tangent is bc Speak Now came on my Spotify and that would be the title of the story