#I never thought I liked toxic yaoi before

[danmei-confessions]

i cannot understand most ppl who like bingjiu (luo binghe x shen jiu).

theoretically, i can understand the appeal of them as toxic yaoi even if it doesn't appeal to me personally - adult bingge having a twistex psychosexual fixation on this figure of loathing from his childhood, yeah i understand - the ppl who i dont get are the ones who try to turn it into something sweepingly romantic like bingqiu. sy and sj are different characters. having binghe act a different way in a fic in order to stop original sqq hurting him is gross victim-blamey narratively, but it also just doesn't make sense to me; binghe is not important to shen jiu except as an object of envy and resentment for his seeming inability to fail in his cultivation despite everything. the one who needs to change his behaviour to start the healing and break the cycle for shen jiu is yue qi, not binghe. yue qi is the one who sj thought loved and cared for him when they were both at their lowest, only to believe later it wasn’t true because yqy refused to reveal that he was impulsive and failed him. by now he has given in to and is set in the deepdown belief that the entire rest of the world has beaten into him, that he is an unlovable monster hiding himself behind silk robes and fans - some extraneous prodigy disciple (who he only took in to ruin, to pay him back for getting the opportunity shen jiu didn't, to try and prove to himself that anyone would fall low when under a master with malicious intent) admiring that facade wouldn't matter to him.

and binghe didn't stay a 'white lotus' as a disciple the whole way through his disciplehood, indeed i think a big sum of that appearance was fawning behaviour to try and regain his master's favour, that slowly became the cover for more and more resentment in pidw proper. it was only after literally taking a hit of qi-crippling poison for him that shen qingqiu really managed to fully win binghe over in canon and make the wary hope of his master's attitude change into sincere total care for the man as a figure of love in his life. the original sqq would never have done such a thing, and binghe would never have grown to care enough for the resentful teacher trying to kill him to be willing to look past his abuse and excuse it because of a sob story.

i guess it's just another case of ppl using the characters as dolls to smoosh together rather than trying to base it at least somewhat on canon. i just usually see that in fandoms where the source text is really quite bad so it's only good as a toybox to take characters from. sv is rly good, the pathos for the characters laid out and indirectly implied in the novels and the extras is so compelling, and i can't understand not prefering to try to explore that rather than just making shen jiu into an entirely agencyless meowmeow rather than a man who is willing to choose to be seen as evil and act cruelly, over being without choice and weak and vulnerable (even in the end, he chooses to let himself be imprisoned, chooses to self-destruct before letting someone else force it on him), and bingge isn't just a mindless dog desperate for love /no matter what/. the world - and shen jiu - crushed his childish hope for a peaceful domestic life, now he will crush them and force them to kneel before him in turn (or try to in shen jiu's case). they have parallel issues because it's a self-reproducing cycle violence of ppl being crushed down and having nobody recognise what care they needed and be willing to give it to them.

i suppose it boils down to the fact that other often crack-ily cutesified fanon couples - take gongzhi, or jiuyuan - don't have nearly so complex, so rich a relationship in canon that is such a total antithesis to that treatment. at the end of the day of course i'm not gonna go near these ppls fics, fanarts and ruin their spaces because this is a discussion of fiction not a battlefield, i'm just stating an opinion based on the actual text (which i admittedly adore) and my interpretation of it as of my most recent reread

.

[sadiecoocoo]

529 pages and all I got was them holding hands

[arttsuka]

Some past fiddlestan? (Like Ford just went through the portal. He gone now. Past. Yk?)

The mystery misery yaoi

[a-good-soupy-boi]

Every time watch emesis blue and I hear solider say

“you’re gonna make it Frits” and medic says

“I know” before fucking dying I die all over again and have to spend a eternity in the respawn chamber

[crehador]

brother crab's winter 2024 parting thoughts: high card s2

WHAT THE HELL

HIGH CARD IS GOOD?!

tl;dr very flashy and aesthetic, consistently good in that regard, but the story was not always gripping to me. however, with the ultimate payoff in the last three eps, totally worth it imo

full review:

wow wow wow i'm kind of glad i fell way behind on anime and had the last three eps of s2 to binge all at once because hoooly shit i enjoyed that immensely

at no point did i think high card was bad, but it definitely had moments where it didn't fully grab me. there were times when it felt like all flash, no substance

and it's definitely not perfect, i have some serious and fairly significant gripes with it. mainly i'm really bummed that leo, wendy, and vijay never really got fully fleshed out. i mean i get it, finn's the main character and chris is the thinly veiled love interest also important so obviously they're going to take up most of the time, but i really feel like the other members of the crew had so much unexplored potential (especially wendy and vijay, because leo did sort of get his moment as a factor in the old man yaoi situation)

speaking of which THE OLD MAN YAOI!! man there were a lot of moving pieces in this show, and sometimes they came together in messy ways (or didn't really come together at all... some bits do still feel pretty disjointed and jumpy to me, tbh)

but overall the payoff of the s2 finale was absolutely worth it to me, particularly since it dealt with my favorites of those moving pieces: the old man yaoi and the sudden YANDERE ONIISAN ARC

i find myself really wishing the show had gone harder on both of those threads sooner, but like... honestly i'm not disappointed with how they played out. the whole theodore and ban thing could not have been more tropey (YEARS of loathing only for a "the one i wanted to protect all along was... you" and then dying for each other like HELLO yes an absolute tropefest BUT TROPES THAT I LOVE. GOOD FOR THOSE TOXIC DOOMED YAOI MFERS)

tilt has always been fascinating to me right from the character design and i am more or less satisfied with how things played out for him too, though i kind of wish we'd had more of this development spread throughout the series. i guess it was there, but... i dunno. in some ways feels like there could have been More (but i may be biased)

like you gotta feel bad for him, it's a sad story, but also that extreeemely creepy unhinged yandere oniisan "i have been stalking you i literally have a wall with giant blown up photos of you i hate the other guy who is calling himself your brother" sequence was SO FUCKING DELICIOUS LIKE WTF??? stunned and absolutely blown away by how hard they went on that, what a delight

(ironically it makes me think about how unhinged matakara in bucchigiri?! just doesn't work while unhinged tilt in high card works super well, but this is not about bucchigiri?! so i won't get too into that)

i am still admittedly just. kind of like. idk. i go back and forth on finn and chris, as characters and as partners. i don't dislike them but they aren't always all that compelling to me. sometimes they definitely are, but sometimes they just fall a bit flat to me. this probably isn't an issue with them as characters, though, just a matter of taste. i occasionally found the chemistry between them lacking as well, but sometimes it was really on point

same feeling about the crew dynamics in general. i looove a good like heist crew or spy agency crew, whatever it is, when the dynamics just click. and sometimes they didn't, here. i am too sleepy to articulate it properly right now but it just felt like there was something missing, some pieces not really fitting together. i didn't dislike any of the characters, but just... i guess wanted more team shenanigans? maybe there was no time for that but it would have been nice (like this is one show that could have done with a few filler and/or fluff episodes, imo!)

anyway. christ. my eye emoji-ing at tilt based solely on his character design finally paid off after two gay ass seasons lmao. good night

[multishipper-baby]

Hope this isn't a weird question, but since you're probably one of, if not the biggest eakwynn stan, I wanted to ask; what do you think of Oleander by Mother Mother as an eakwynn song? Don't know if you've ever heard it but I think it fits them a little and if it's not weird I wanted to know what you think about it?

I heard a few songs by Mother Mother but never this one and oh, I really see it. I've always had the headcanon that Owynn has trouble making connections with others, half because of trauma/mental illness and half because he's so destructive (both towards himself and others) that basically no one stays beside him long enough for him to become attached to them.

Enter Eak, who's forced to be by his side due to Owynn's convoluted plan- and sticks around long enough for them to actually start caring about each other. The first real connection Owynn has made in years, in almost a decade.

I don't think Owynn would ever voice the idea that he would die if Eak left, because he's too proud for that, but he'd definitely feel it. Especially because he's been so awful to Eak and his friends, so there's a good reason for him to leave. A part of him acknowledges how horrible he's been and wants to fix it, be a better lover, while another part just wants to double down, terrified that Eak will slip away from him if he doesn't keep him under his thumb. He's trapped at a crossroads between getting better, and getting so much worse.

Anyway, thank you for your suggestion! I liked it so much that it's going in my eakwynn playlist :)

[the-catmans-offical-2]

SCREAKS

TOXIC. YURI.

[tobyisave]

acting lessons

this is for my chapter 5 au... I tried to compose a toxic doomed yaoi saiouma essay in the tags just now but it went over the tag limit (mortifying) so I'm just going to paste it under the cut!!

////cw for suicide of course. also heads up my version of saiouma is almost completely one sided 👍🏼

#look.. in my mind there is no world where shuichi truly comes around on kokichi #but there is TOTALLY a world where he feels eternally fucked up and guilty about assisting in his suicide #and cant bring himself to hate anymore #cant bring himself to reject the casual but blatantly self-indulgent touches of the boy hes about to murder in the most excruciating way possible #just let him have his fun #let him squeeze your shoulder a little too long #its the least you can do when hes about to let his entire body be turned into an unrecognizable puddle of gore #you dont have to pretend you like it. he KNOWS you dont like it. just let it happen & soon enough itll be over and youll never have to see him again #youll never be *able* to see him again. nothing left of him to even call a body #fucking unidentifiable #god. #(to be clear i dont approve of that logic at all but i sure think shuichi would feel that way)

#its like oumota but worse because (to me) shuu has completely written him off by ch5 and doesnt even need the poison blackmailing to agree #its shuichis low point after all hes fully suicidal and thinks kokichi is the mastermind who destroyed humanity's last hope #he doesnt have time to recalculate his opinion before its too late #he agrees almost immediately #but the closer it gets the less he can justify it #like god this guy fills me with rage and we would never ever in a million years get along but hes also a warm breathing human being #and hes in love with me or something and i just agreed to kill him. EAGERLY! #to his FUCKING FACE #yes i openly hated him already. and yes he didnt even blink when i told him i could kill him #if anything he looked happy! #but god how could i just say that to someone? how did it get this bad? #and how is he still giving me finger hearts through the camera while we test out angles for his fucking DEATH VIDEO #maybe just maybe its because he really thinks this will save us. but maybe he just wants to die #and i dont even know if that makes a difference anymore #et cetera……..

#like i said im not a saiouma guy in the traditional sense but #i do like pathetic clingy kokichi x shuichi who hates himself for harboring genuine malice towards him #(justified malice) #but is too self doubting to take the reins and stop the horrible thing theyve already set in motion

#meeting the same fate as kaede because he THOUGHT he was agreeing to kill the mastermind #when in reality it was really just a cagey guy who was trying to do the EXACT same thing and made the mistake of going it alone #and now that guy who couldve been his ally is dead and he has to pretend hes ok and lie to his friends to derail this trial #for this stupid idiotic plan he let himself get blindly swept up in #that was never going to work in the first place #he knew it was full of holes he knew ouma was full of shit #he knew himself he knew he'd buckle under the pressure of the trial #but he didnt say a thing #it was so much easier to go with it. he just wanted it to be fucking over with #well its not over. the game continues and kokichi is dead and for what #didnt lift a fucking finger #fucking idiot coward bottom of the barrel piece of shit. GOD #i dont know man. it's just real kill yourself hours for shuichi after this one

[dimonds456]

Billford and Abuse: An Analysis

Honestly, as someone who ships both Billford and Fiddauthor, the thing I like about the toxic yaoi ship is the fact that it IS toxic. Like, the jokes are great, but its depiction of abuse is so, like... genuine. Without getting personal, I've been in a really fucking bad toxic (platonic) relationship before, and Billford deadass helped me come to terms with it.

Cuz here's the thing: most fictional abusive relationships just start with the abuse itself. It shows the victim and the perpetrator at the height (or almost at the height) of the abuse, and we see as either one of them is destroyed by it or the victim becomes free. But Billford actually shows the WHOLE timeline.

Something that bothers me about a lot of fictional abuse reps is the fact that you cannot sympathize with the victim aside from "aw that's horrible :(". Cuz it just starts AT the abuse. We don't see how they got there or what's causing the victim to stay. We just know they need to escape.

But with Billford, we see EVERYTHING. How it started out as something Ford genuinely loved, seeing Bill as a friend and someone he could trust, how it made him feel better because he was actually making progress on his research and he wasn't lonely anymore.

To Ford during those early days, Bill was the highlight of his time in Gravity Falls. We can follow his train of thought exactly to where he let Bill possess him with basically no strings attached (pun intended).

That's what makes it all the more devastating. Bill isolated Ford from everyone. He sabotaged his friendship with Fiddleford by planting that seed of doubt in the engineer and pulling Ford further and further into his plans. Then the thing with the portal happened and Ford had NOWHERE to go. Plus, Bill kept trying to get Ford to stop thinking about Stan, to move on and let him rot. So he kept planting seeds of doubt in his own brother as well, causing Ford to further and further slip away.

Then Ford confronts Bill. And the monster is unleashed.

Once Bill realizes he's lost control of Ford's devotion and the illusion has shattered, Bill just LEANS into it. In order to take control back, he started tormenting Ford and just being horrible to him, to try and make him fall in line. Love and fear ARE right next to each other in the brain, after all. And there's NOTHING Ford can do but just fall further and further into paranoia.

Bill demonstrates many real-world abusive/manipulative tactics on Ford, the big one being isolation, since that allows the rest of the everything to even happen, but the way he turns Ford against LITERALLY EVERYONE using paranoia is really true to real life.

Now obviously your toxic boyfriend cannot possess random strangers irl. But you know what he CAN do? Start spreading rumors behind your back. Stalk you. Harass you. Make you feel unsafe everywhere except home (which isn't safe either, but it's better than the outside world). He can spend your money or break your things. Slash your tires. In Ford's case, LITERALLY abusing his body. There's the sticky notes, the threats, the roof incident, all of it just piling one atop the other.

I cannot imagine how fucking terrified Ford must have been to finally send that postcard to Stanley. He was at a point where he assumed Stan would hate him, or at the very least wouldn't respond so why even bother, and he'd just gotten the "steal your eyes" threat. He was out of options, and was absolutely sure he was putting Stan in danger by getting him involved (another irl abuse thing that happens).

He was scared to reach out for help because 1) he didn't want others getting hurt (like Fidds had), 2) he was ashamed he'd let this happen, and 3) he, on some level, felt like he deserved this.

Justified? To a paranoid, scared, abused, irrational brain: Absolutely. In reality? Never. But HE'D built that portal. HE'D allowed Bill to possess his body basically freely. HE'D basically helped start the apocalypse. And that shame would have lead to SO much self-hatred and despair.

His reaching out to Stan was his last resort, his only way out. THAT'S what intrigues me about the ship so much.

I do not want them to make up and get back together. They're horrible for each other. But I do enjoy exploring the dynamic of it, fully seeing the cycle and how it happens, and seeing a whole new side to Ford that we only caught a glimpse of in the show and Journal 3. Plus Bill but his side is more comedic and sad to me I do not take him seriously FSDGHJ

The jokes are great and I love it here, but if I ever write a fic or draw art for these two it's going to be toxic as hell man. And not in the fun way fgsjd

[sweetshelluvaau]

No nm I lied here's another Mastermind rant:

I'm not the only one who thought Blitzo was ooc in regard with making the whole Stoltiz ship work. right? And I don't mean this exclusively with just the ship but for his character in gerneal.

Blitzo isn't really the 'romantic' type. No, not in the 'I don't like romance' way, but more in style of love language. Putting aside vulnerability and self loathing, he's not a hopeless romantic like Stolas is nor should he be just to meet owlboys expertations. I'm not saying he wouldn't do romantic gestures once in a while like gift giving but being like "you have my heart" or that kiss after Stolas falls asleep?

I'm sorry but Blitzo would never act this way even with his past partners like Vero because again, that's just not his character. Maybe I can see him taking care of Stolas when at his lowest considering I see him being more 'actions speak louder than words' person. Maybe. But everything else? Nah.

Also: I have a hard time believing him falling head over heels with Stolas just for saving his life considering the last two episodes before that but maybe slowly warming up to him after feeling like he has to take care of Stolas after all of that due to guilt bitt even then idk

Honestly, putting Murder Family and Stolas never owning up to the Full Moon deal with Blitz to begin with (and overall just being horrible and fetishizing in general and making everything about himself) aside, the two have barely any chemistry if any. At all. There's nothing there that screams 'they should be together' or 'i can see them working.' The show is TELLING me they should be but it isn't SHOWING me why they should. If anything it's showing me then exact opposite.

I'm really tired of this show making established characters ooc or dumbing them down to fit the narrative Viv wants to tell when she should have planned the whole story out to begin in and put more effort to make it all work. Stolitz could have been interesting as a toxic pairing that explored abuse and horror of your 'romantic' partner molding you into the 'prefect' version they want in their head supposed to loving you for who you are only to eventually break away and recovering from the abuse you were put though realizing that yes, you do deserve better despite your past mistakes and people you hurt. Supposed to beating yourself up and harping on the past, let yourself heal and move towards the future to do better. That would have been powerful.

Or you know, not have the Full Moon deal to begin with and show them slowly gaining feelings for each other as they get to know and learn about each other better. Ya know, like how real healthy relationships work?

But sadly that isn't what we're getting. We're getting an abusive relationship that's supposed to be viewed as wholesome with no chemistry whatsoever relying on outdated yaoi fanfiction tropes.

[moonsofmachinery]

when the yaoi has a little toxicity!!!!! aurora (pretty one) is by @skybristle dam (lame faggot) is by me!!!!

rant below (it's gay)

Aurora (A Glittering Aurora) is a very emotionally detached person, he's never truly formed any real connections and because of that she's completely adverse to commitment and will instead act as a mirror, reflecting a persons responses back at them to rile them up-- This is especially evident with DAM (Defying Amicable Management) who, as his name suggests, has an immense dislike for his (and all) Ancients.

Dam essentially has the iterator equivalent of 'Anger issues so intense you melt your insides as a result' which happens because he lacks the ability to control his emotions. Once they begin to climb, they're not coming down. It is very easy for Aurora to thus get a rise out of him. Prodding him, getting him upset and listening to him rant.

She often agrees with him to drive him on. But Dam isn't completely daft, he is a logical thinker and after awhile he notices Aurora's responses mirror his own. He doesn't understand Why he would be hiding his own thoughts and feelings on the matter. They've been speaking for so long and Dam is endlessly curious about Aurora. He's taken a liking to her, and wants to know what she's about.

But Aurora himself is so detached from everything that he himself has no idea who he is. If you asked her to tell you, she would sputter up the response that seems most suitable to you. Him and Dam are complete opposites, Dam is very stable in his self and his identity ; he is honest- blatantly so, and he believes in what he says, even in his anger. Aurora, meanwhile, is so used to molding herself to others image- he will make himself whatever he needs to be to drive a conversation, to create a show! that... she doesn't really even know herself.

Shipping them is essentially a slow burn of them both falling for each other early on and just... Staying together. Aurora is terrified of commitment- he's never stayed in one place before, but Dam is endlessly infatuated with her, he Adores her in a way he hasn't anyone else. And Aurora too, loves him. Dam has never been loved, and she has never loved.

They both have a ton of baggage and a part of them falling for each other is learning to cope with that baggage and understand each other and themselves more. Aurora hugs Dam, desperately begging for him to tell her who she is -- and Dam comes to Aurora, distraught and upset- on the verge of collapse as he is his only comfort in the mess of his emotions. They're learning how to love for the first time, and they mean a lot to me.

Okay my rant about them is done I hope anyone got anything out of this hiii minx if ur reading this i love our little guys can we play toys more.... :3

[selineram3421]

🎵🎶*and again*

You're Off-key

Part 4

Part 3

Reader X Gravity Falls

Warning ⚠

⚠ everyone is aged up, nap interrupted, dream realm, toxic old man yaoi mention, mention of demons and ghosts, Ford being weird again, food mention-eggs, cussing, Italics= thoughts ⚠

You opened your eyes to a view of a familiar place.

It's a place you'd always go to when you had the chance to see a nice view of the sunset. Which was at a park, and your favorite spot was on top of the slide. The funny part was that the sunset was facing away from the slide, so you were sitting backwards.

"Not too shabby kid."

"AH!", you screeched and slid down the slide, slowly coming to a stop at the bottom with an upset face. "I didn't want to slide down yet."

"Haha!"

Looking back towards the planets, your neck at the edge of the slide making your head hang, and you see a very bright and shiny floating cool ranch dorito. Maybe you were just hungry for chips now.

"Whoa, I know I look like a snack but keep your thoughts under control.", Bill says with a back off motion.

"Oh, ew.", you cringe. "You're not my type at all."

Sitting upright and facing the right direction, you noticed that everything was different from the Dreamscaperers episode. Probably because it was Stan's mind and you are more into weird art. Explains the melting park clocks and the sky being all space like.

"Oh yeah, your type is more-"

"Nope, shutting you up now! What do you want?", you say quickly and cross your arms.

"Just here to see how you're enjoying Gravity Falls! How's Sixer doing? Still doesn't understand social norms? Haha!"

"Still into the nerdy old guy?", you smirk. "Also, knock next time you try to get in here. I'm not Ford, so you can't just do anything you want."

"I somewhat regret putting those pages in the book.", Bill says and then shrugs. "Whatever kid, I'm practically a ruler of dreams."

"Nope.", you stand up and pop the P. "You're in my head and I am the master of the dreaming realm.", you point your thumb at yourself. "You know how many ghosts and demons try to crack this baby? It's impenetrable."

"Look kid."

"I'm old enough to drive an actual car.", you counter.

"And I'm older than you.", Bill snaps his cane into existence and twirls it. "Never mind that, I really want to know how the Pines family is doing. Can't exactly find out unless I have you! So, let's make a deal here.", the triangle holds his hand out. "Let me have access to your mind and I'll let you stay in this little town for longer, what do you say?"

"Pfft-", you start laughing. "You think-hahahaha! You think I'm gonna make a deal with you for something as dumb as that? Hahahaha!"

"Well, when you say it like that-"

"I didn't even put my thumb on that bloody thumbprint in the book! What makes you think I'm gonna fall for more of your tricks after the spaghetti? Hahahahaha!", you continue laughing.

"STOP LAUGHING!", Bill starts turning red.

"Aw, sorry Billy-oop.", you immediately stop. "That slipped out and I apologize."

The way Bill started at you was creepy, he was zoned out and slowly transforming into something terrifying. His limbs growing longer and a mouth with sharp teeth forming.

"Time to wake up."

Bill charged at you.

"NOW!"

⯅

"No more triangle chips!", you shout as you wake up.

Something is weighing on your head and you find the headset on you again. The wires were longer than before and led out of the room, downstairs.

"Seriously?", you sigh and take it off. "Ford! I said wait till I'm conscious!"

You get up and head to the bathroom to clean yourself up, washing off all the blood and putting new bandages. After getting dressed with the clothes Mabel left, you open the bathroom door to find Waddles the pig sitting outside, holding a little note.

"Oh hey oinkers.", you greet and take the note to read. "Breakfast is ready downstairs. Hope you like eggs."

It takes you a second.

"Wait, what? Breakfast? How long was I asleep?", you asked no one. "Was I out all day? What kind of bullshit?", you huff. "Damn nacho chip. Not cool."

You make your way downstairs and hear talking coming from the living room. Leaning against the wall, you listen in on the conversation.

"I can't understand these readings! It's all static and weird noises. None of it makes sense!", Ford says and you hear paper shuffling around.

"Grunkle Ford, I think you're going too far with this.", you hear from the living room, Dipper. "They are a normal person. Mabel did her whole question thing! You know that thing is unbelievably long!"

"What? Like her strange dating quiz? They finished the whole thing?", the old man asked.

"It was only two hundred questions this time.", the younger twin reassured.

Ford is trying to read my mind! I fucking called it! You pointed up at the air and then silently sighed. Time to face the music.

Taking a step into the living room, you point at the nerds with a serious face.

"You!"

"AH!", Dipper screeched and hid some papers behind his back. "Hey! We were just uh-"

"I was going over some math problems with my nephew to win a board game.", Ford says quickly.

"Baloney! I woke up to the helmet thing on my head again!", you crossed your arms. "If you really wanted to get into my head, then ask me questions! I'm only bound to lie twenty percent of the time!"

"That's a really low lie rate.", Dipper whispers.

The older twin sighs and rubs between his brows. "Fine, I confess. I've been trying to read your mind with the headset but all I've been getting is static noise."

"Why though? You said it yourself, I'm not much of a threat with my concussion.", you ask. "Unless there's something you think I'm hiding?"

I mean, understandable but jeez. Ask me like a person.

"I...apologize.", Ford says as he avoids eye contact and adjusts his glasses. "I'm still getting used to being around people and being out at sea with just my brother isn't really enough social interaction.", he turned away from you.

"But why try to read my mind? What could possibly lead you to do something like that?", you ask.

Ford's eyes were hidden by the glint of the light coming from the television. He was eerily stiff as he faced you completely. Then he pointed behind you like someone was standing there.

"Bill's shadow follows you."

You felt a chill go through the room.

"Who..", you gulped and hugged yourself as you panicked on the inside. "Who is Bill?"

Hehehehehehe...

~Seline, the person.

Part 5

Taglist@

@diffidentphantom @sleep-7372 @boredwithlifeatthispoint @mspurpl3 @gxstiess @lynkolnevans @fries11 @paastaboi @the-monochrome-jester @staygold162 @geckodarla @klwrites @alias-sam @eddwardtheseventhspacewizard @agreatcheesecakestudentstuff @+?

GF List🏞 | YO-🎹

[not-xpr-art]

Curled tight as a question mark...

(01/2025)

Ok so I've been super obsessed with the AMAZING Trolley Problem AU fics by @silverview & @unreesonable (where Drew is the 22 year old Blake abuses instead of Ellie) for literally ages so it was only a matter of time before I'd end up doing some art based on it pfft...

Links to the fics below btw (also gonna ramble about this piece a bit since, as usual, I put way too much thought into it pfft)!!!

a better son / daughter

special arrangements

and all I'll do is kiss him (btw title of this piece actually taken from a line in this one which I really loved!!!)

spaces between

Highly recommend all of them btw, they're so GOOD!!!!!

~~~

Ok, so I immediately wanted to do a sorta twisted version of Klimt's 'The Kiss' but the concept kinda got away from me as I was painting it... Plus I couldn't get the vibrant gold colour to work with the general colouring of the figures so the background became like vaguely vaginal curtains that I could probably spin some kinda symbolic link to Drew's mother if I wanted to lol...

(think I made a joke on bsky that I'm in my Georgia O'Keeffe era and NO one laughed smhsmh...)

I've also been wanting to do something based on the iconic The Fallen Angel painting by Alexandre Cabanel but never really had a particular subject in mind... until NOW! (ofc the emotion is different but idk I think the reference still works... Drew's tears are more desperate, hopeless, resigned, and perhaps less angry than Lucifer's?)

I wanted the piece to feel like Drew is trapped. Trapped by his turbulent relationship with his mother and father, trapped by his status and position in life, trapped by his sexuality, trapped by the drugs... And ultimately trapped by Blake, who was supposed to offer him a paternal embrace, a comforting hand on his shoulder, to properly help guide him out of the hole he's stuck in but all he did was take advantage of his vulnerability and drag him further into that pit...

Also, kinda funny story, but I tried doing a cute romantic in9 art before I started this but my brain and hand were having none of it lol... NO adorable yaoi for you manipulative toxic yaoi ONLY !!!!!!!

Stylistically I wanted to try and make this look sorta traditionally painted, which involved me using a combo of my regular program alongside ms paint since I like the texture of some of the brushes on there tbh (plus those brushes are really great for painting body hair which I had so much fun drawing a lot of here lol)! Overlaid with a vaguely canvas-y texture lol

Oh, and also I put the diamond pattern of the jumper Drew wears in the episode on his underwear here both because it was going to get covered if I put it on his t-shirt and because it's sorta a fun way to reflect how this is an AU lol

Also have some close ups since tumblr has completely destroyed the quality of this lol:

(final close up is actually of a version of the painting without the texture overlay btw which is why the colours are slightly different, but I thought it might be interesting to share so u can see the brushwork texture a little better??)

uh anyway... that's all folks lol!

[ampblamp]

AU: Here's How Billford Can Still Win

(part 1: make that triangle miserable)

tl;dr: i want bill to have his ability to live in denial about what he did shattered by several important figures from his past BEFORE he can enact weirdmageddon. this way the yaoi can be messy and toxic (at first) but NOT doomed. it's self indulgent for sure but i'm doin my best to keep it IC as i can 🫡

this first post is just me figuring out how i think things would have to go down on bill's end for billford to have any chance of working out. take my hand. come away with me to my autism world

i'm still figuring out all the details of what would have to change to like. weaken bill's mental defenses enough because he HAS been able to shove his guilt down for so long. i do think everything with ford would be one of the key factors cause he had never connected so much with any of his prior human partners and obviously things souring fucked him up enough to have a turbo breakdown. (i know it's also because of the amount of times the plan has failed but i think he's also feeling rejected by so many humans not liking him lolll)

i think his breakdown after getting wasted at o'sadley's would happen like in canon, save for its repercussions. once bill starts thinking about his mom and everyone else from euclydia around when he's about to be arrested, maybe it would open the door for thoughts of them to keep slipping through his defenses. and suddenly thinking about weirdmageddon and hearing himself and other people talking about it could have a chance of triggering him.

i know personally that trauma can jump in and completely drag you back in time regardless of any logic, and i think him having that kind of episode sooner might be the key to getting him to face that he doesn't want to keep repeating what he did to euclydia because it's never going to be enough to convince the small, small voice in his head saying 'stop'.

because that's just the thing. bill has forced himself down a path of destruction to Prove to himself that its actually for the best to tear down "miserable reality" and replace it with his own vision. his drive and impatience to get weirdmageddon going is BECAUSE he wants to permanently cement that narrative in his mind with the ultimate "proof". because if the narrative fails, not only will he not be able to mentally cope (without help) he'll completely fail the henchmaniacs, who he promised a new home, and look vulnerable and weak, which he's TRAINED them to view as what should be destroyed.

i think the o'sadley breakdown and my proposed worsened repercussions of it would destabilize him, but it wouldn't be enough to stop him. what would push bill over the edge in this hypothetical would be several powerful entities from bill's past like the axolotl, the oracle, and time baby working together to somehow target his mental weak point. cause remember, time baby canonically KNOWS bill's weak point.

also like. To Me. the axolotl and the oracle are people bill was close to and has seen himself in at one point* but they matured and he didn't, and that's why he's SO hostile towards them.

*the oracle being an ex-henchmaniac is canon but i say this about the axolotl because of xolotl. look him up, it'll freak your bean.

alsooooo... ford not being as immature and vengeful as bill hoped he was is probably why bill broke down so hard - because it reminded him of the axolotl and the oracle. all the people who he actually connected with on a deeper level have left because of the same reason. but bill was always too terrified to confront everything he's done, which would be necessary to follow them.

so ends part 1... next, i think i'm gonna try to figure out how ford and bill would meet again (haha). ford is sucked into the portal right after (maybe even during?) the whole o'sadley's deal iirc sooo... fun point in the timeline to play with!

also hopin to draw stuff for this AU in the future :]c calling upon the power of my newly aquired ADHD meds lmao

[snekjoy]

Bootday fluff??. Waiter there's fluff in my toxic yaoi :/

Boothill opens the door to the bedroom. He's tired. Really tired.

There's movement from the bed and he looks over as he takes his hat and shoes off.

The lamp comes on with a click, and Sunday becomes visible.

He looks stunning. He doesn't sleep with a shirt, so his chest and back are bare. He's lying on his front, propped up with his elbows on the mattress and looking over his shoulder at Boothill, his hair and wings falling down his shoulders. The duvet pools at his waist, and his eyes sparkle in the dim lighting. There's a mole on his lower back.

Boothill sighs. He's finally home. Even if this isn't technically his house at all.

“Hey.”

“It's 2am.”

“Yeah.”

It’s silent.

“Long day?”

“Uh-huh.”

Sunday pauses, then tilts his head up to beckon him over.

“Come here.”

“Yessir.” He takes his jacket off and climbs into bed by Sunday, sighing in relief when he sinks into the mattress and the light goes off.

He feels hands brushing hair out of his eyes, pulling the duvet over him, and eventually he feels an arm around him. He sinks into it, turning over so his head is being cradled in Sunday's arms and resting against his chest.

He slips in and out of consciousness, that awful half-state of closing his eyes and coming back to a shock, for a while. He can't tell how long.

Eventually, he wakes up again to a sound. He frowns, sleepily blinking, and hugs Sunday's waist.

It sounds like a bird. Like cooing.

“Your bird got in.” He mumbles, poking the angel.

Sunday laughs quietly. Ah, he's more awake than he thought.

“No, no she didn't, darling.” He whispers, and the cooing starts again once he stops talking.

Boothill frowns deeper and shuffles about.

“Yes, she did. I can hear ‘er.”

“No you can't.” Again, it pauses.

“Look, sometimes I can get on board with your- whatcha call it, gaslighting. But I'm sleepy. There's a bird.”

“Mhm.”

Sunday begins to comb his hands through Boothill's hair, and the cooing gets a bit louder.

He groans and opens his eyes, looking up at Sunday.

“I can't sleep with it in here.”

“Aw, can't you?” He can hear him move a bit.

“No. Can you get it back to the cage?”

“Hm?” Sunday pauses, then the cooing stops as he speaks again.

“I don't have a cage.”

Boothill squints.

“Your bird does.”

“Mm, but you can't hear my bird.”

“What..?”

“Nevermind. It's stopped now, hasn't it? So let's go back to sleep, dear.”

Sunday smiles and Boothill sighs, resting his head back on his chest and closing his eyes. His hand rubs along Sunday's back, cold against the warm skin, and the havlovian shivers. The cooing starts again.

“It's happening again.”

“Mm. It is.”

“So you can hear it?”

“I never said I couldn't.”

“You said you can't hear your bird.”

“Mhm. Because I can't.”

“Because-?”

“Because it's not her cooing.”

Boothill opens his eyes again and looks up at Sunday, who looks down at him with such patience in his expression, waiting for him to get it.

“It's not her-?” He raises his eyebrows, realising what it is, and Sunday chuckles, then kisses his forehead, trilling at him happily.

“It's you?” He whispers.

“It is.”

“You make bird noises?”

“Hm, evidently.”

“How come I've never heard that before?”

“Mm, I suppose I'm more comfortable around you now than I was when we met.”

“You let me sleep in your bed.”

“Mhm. It takes a while, hun.”

His hands stroke through Boothill's hair. The cowboy stares up at him, then smiles and leans into it. He quite likes these noises, then.

“You still can't sleep with me making that noise?”

“Oh, nah, nah, I can sleep with it. Don't you worry, you just keep on makin’ whatever noises you like.” He grins and takes Sunday's hand, kissing it.

The priest sighs.

“You seem to like it quite a bit, don't you?”

“Yeah. Of course I do. You said it means you're comfortable around me. So… so of course I'm gonna like it.”

Sunday laughs, then Boothill feels feathers against his face and follows them, a soft kiss being planted to his lips a moment later. He can't see anything, but he trusts Sunday. He trusts him enough to guide him towards him, to hold him and stroke his hair instead of pull it.

Maybe that's dumb. Maybe it's corny. He's not sure.

The cooing continues, a soothing sort of noise that almost sounds like purring. It seems he's making the noise in a similar way.

Boothill grins and brings the kiss to his jaw, then down to his neck. Sunday shivers and his wings shake.

“Boothill.” He scolds, cupping his cheek and bringing him up. Boothill can't see where he's facing, but when he speaks it sounds like Sunday is directly in front of his face.

“Mm, you were liking it.”

“Perhaps. But I'm tired, and so are you.”

“Don't assume that I'm tired!”

“You are, though, aren't you? You came in almost falling on your face.”

He goes quiet, then hums and lies his head down, closing his eyes.

“You're right.”

“I tend to be.”

“Smartass.”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

Sunday snakes himself around Boothill, his chin on his head and his arms around his back, and Boothill sighs, then puts his own arms around the angel's waist.

“I love you, my dear.”

“Mm. Love you, too, angel.”

Sunday trills and Boothill relaxes. The dark of the room before him turns into the dark of the back of his eyelids, and at some point he drifts into unconsciousness, comfortable and safe in the arms of his love.

[08melancholie]

Patch up, Cowboy. — Micah Bell/Arthur Morgan

tags: Tension, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension, Mild Smut, Non-Graphic Smut, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Gay Panic, Sexuality Crisis, enemies to whatever the fuck they are, Jealousy, Jealous Micah Bell, Micah Bell Is His Own Warning, Toxic Yaoi type shit i love them oh god, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Medium Honor Arthur Morgan, Toxic Yaoi

summary: Law always finds itself around Micah and Arthur, no matter what job they do. This time, though, they get surprised by a bunch of bloodthirsty O'Driscolls and one hell of an ambush. Put your differences aside and patch up, cowboy.

a/n: my first character/character fic thats posted woah, were making history here chat

words: 3,040 | AO3 LINK

A red rag draped over his leg, medical alcohol between his thighs and Micah's chin in-between his index and thumb, holding up a clean cotton cloth to his mouth and collecting blood.

"'Ya gotta stay still." Arthur's voice grumbles, slightly strained. The fire next to them crackles loudly and the night is silent, all for the occasional cricket or animal howl in the far distance or moving shrubbery. "I can't do it if you're squirmin' around the entire time." He holds onto the chin of the other with a firmer grip, trying to wipe his bottom lip of the leaky red substance. Micah's hand stay in his lap, palms squished between his thighs as he leans his head back, looking down at the other cowboy.

He snarls when the alcohol-infused material brushes over his busted lip, trying to jerk his head away—to no avail, as Arthur's grip keeps him exactly where he is, unmoving. "Damn it, Morgan.. thought you was a gentleman." His laugh is a small wheeze, the hot breath escaping his mouth and landing on Arthur, who tuts at him and shakes his head at the comment.

—————————————————

A nice little homestead that needed urgent clearance and robbing—deemed perfect for Arthur and Micah, by Dutch. Clearly not, by Arthur's protest to the idea. Micah gives a very offended scoff at the other man. "Come on, Morgan. You an' me, it's a perfect team." Arthurs' eyes practically roll to the back of his head, but he can't find it in himself to go against Dutch's word, no matter how much he may hate the blonde snake.

He gives Dutch a look, very obviously, before sighing and calling Micah to follow over to where their horses were hitched up. They rode mostly in silence, every attempt at small-talk between Micah and Arthur lasting a measly few minutes, if that many.

The homestead looked partially abandoned when they arrived. "This don't look good," Arthur wanted to listen to his gut and turn back, or find something else that actually looked promising, but of course, Micah was having none of it.

"Oh, don't be like that," He rode Baylock closer to Arthur and pulled on his horses reins. "thought you was one of them.. 'don't judge a book by it's cover' fellers." He mocks, trying to get Arthur to keep riding towards the homestead. With more reluctance, Arthur follows along. "That's the spirit." Micah makes sure to comment, looking over his shoulder to where Arthur is riding close-by. They hitch up a safe distance away—you never know, even if it looks abandoned. "Follow the lead, cowpoke."

Micah's got his hands on his two DAs, fidgeting with the handles while they slowly creep up the area, heading straight for the little house. Arthur puts his bandana up and places his hands on his gun belt, walking to Micah's left. They approach the front porch, making their way up the small set of stairs and up to the door. A quick glance to each other, Micah puts up his own bandana and nods for Arthur to have the honours.

The door swings open into a worrisome silence, nothing but the slow creaking of the old hinges as the door slows its pace and hits the wall. "Well, looks like nobody is home." Arthur glances at Micah at his quip, narrowing his eyes before walking by the man.

He gets straight to business; opening drawers and cupboards for anything useful. Micah does the same—kind of. He looks here and there while mostly just exploring the house. Soon, Arthur is left alone in the main room, a living room and open kitchen. He's looking through the kitchen drawers when the silence gets abruptly disturbed; a gasp, metal clanking, a gunshot. Arthur is quick to stand up from his crouching position and draw his revolver, checking the corners over to the room where the noise came from. As much as he'd love to see Micah shot, he doesn't need that right now.

One of the doors down the hall is ajar, and theres a scent of gunpowder coming from the room. A quick cock of his revolver, huff and prayer before Arthur enters the room; just to find a grinning Micah, leaned on the wall and playing with his revolver. "Didn't know 'ya cared that much about me, cowpoke." Arthur is just about to berate the blonde for the idiotic quip, before he's met with Micah's wide eyes— "Shit!" —and a quickdraw. Micah shoots right past his shoulder.

Arthur grips his gun and turns, to see a man on his front bleeding out on the living room floor. "The hell?" Both of them exit the room, Micah first.

Micah walks up to the dying man, using his boot to kick the mans gun out of reach, just in case. He crouches down and grabs a fistful of his hair, lifting the body up slightly. Nothing that could make him stand out—except a bright, neon green neckerchief. "What's an O'Driscoll 'ere for?" Micah murmurs between the two men before using his brain to connect two and two together, releasing the dead mans' hair and instantly standing to his feet, walking and shutting the front door.

Arthur catches on just as quickly, instantly readying his gun. "O'Driscolls ain't ever travel alone..." He comments, and he's very correct—proven so by the sudden gunshots that smash the house windows, glass flying over the floorboards as both of them duck, away from the view inside of the house through the broken windows. It's at least four other people shooting, against the two of them. They've dealt with worse, surely; this will go smoothly.

They're ducked under one of the two windows each, peeking out to shoot. Theres a few more than four, seven instead. Which is odd, as O'Driscolls never really go out in bigger groups than of three or four, which makes Arthur and Micah assume this was very planned. That's an afterthought, for now, as they need to focus on shooing them all dead. First three go down easily, until the other four start getting closer to the door. Something Arthur and Micah don't notice, is the O'Driscoll right at the door just waiting for the right moment. When it does come, it almost ruins the entire mission. The door opens, hitting Arthur in the side and shielding him from whats happening on the other side when the O'Driscoll busts in. Micah, thankfully, has a good reaction time and manages to stand up and move before getting shot. Unfortunately, it isn't enough as he gets shot in the thigh by the O'Driscoll before Arthur can close the door and shoot him. Micah hisses as the bullet penetrates his skin, clutching it and spitting out blood from his mouth, having bit the inside of his his lip open during the small stumble to the ground. "Get up, Micah!" Arthur's back is pressed to the door to prevent anymore surprises. Micah regains his composure with a low grumble, spitting on the floor before getting up and grabbing his guns again.

Gunpowder fills the nostrils of the two men by the time the last one of Colm's men escapes for his life, rushing away on his horse before Micah or Arthur can shoot him down. "Damn it," Arthur holsters his gun and places his hands on his hips, looking over to Micah. "we can both agree that was planned, right?"

Micah is picking glass out of his boot, sitting on the couch inside the house. "Mm, yeah. Seems so." His thigh is still bleeding slightly, his chapped lip stinging. Arthur got him a towel from the bathroom to wrap around his bullet wound, try and stop the bleeding until they can get him taken care of.

"Can't stay here, might come back." Arthur comments, opening the door and checking the surrounding area before beckoning Micah to follow suit. He grumbles, getting up from his seat and putting his guns into their holsters, walking—a bit uncomfortably—around the shattered glass pieces and out the door. They're mostly silent for the walk back to the horses, given how theres little to say here. Micah mounts up on Baylock with a hum and pat to the steeds neck, Arthur soon following. It was getting dark, slowly but surely, as the sun started dipping down around the earth, deep oranges and pinks filling the sky, with faint hues of blue still present. "I say we camp out, don't trust going back like this." Micah shrugs neutrally, deciding on just going with whatever Arthur has to say. They ride a few miles away from the homestead, into a nearby forest.

With their horses hitched safely, the two outlaws set their tents up and Arthur starts a little fire while Micah tries cleaning his wounds up. His lip is absolutely busted, few smaller gashes and splits in the bottom one along with the bigger one he bit into his flesh. It's a hassle to clean, even more his thigh. One spot on the towel is fully soaked, absorbing Micah's blood like a sponge. Peeling it off brings a grumble out of Micah, turning it over to a cleaner side and dabbing at his thigh. Arthur finished up the fire and looks to Micah, who seriously looks like the doesn't know what he's doing. For a man so stubborn, Arthur knew Micah would never allow him to help the clueless outlaw.

"You know what you're doing?" He decides to speak up, getting up from his crouching position and placing his hands on his gun belt.

Micah looks up at him from his thigh with an annoyed pout. "Of course I do.." He continued to dab at his thigh, but starts slowing down. "..clearly."

Would his hatred for Micah win over, be more important than not letting him get a nasty infection? That's a million dollar question.

And here's your answer.

Arthur sighs before walking over to the man and casually seating himself right next to Micah, prying the towel out of his hand. Micah goes to protest, snarl at him, but Arthur shushes him. "Don't be an ass now, it'll get infected if 'ya don't do it right." Arthur places a two fingers on Micah'd thigh, stretching it slightly which causes some vulgarities to slip from Micah's mouth. "Ah, 'm sorry," he places the towel back down and goes for his satchel, digging out a flask-like bottle and a small rag, along with a mini-box; mystery item, woo. "Hope 'ya don't like these pants that much," Arthur draws his knife and, carefully but swiftly, cuts up a better opening to the wound through his trousers.

"These are practically all I wear, Morgan. Surprised 'ya haven't taken notice of it."

"One of the girls'll sew it up for you." Arthur replies. Micah rolls his eyes and sits back, letting Arthur work with no further quips or protests. Arthur takes the flask and pours some of the liquid onto his clean rag, removing Micah's towel. "What's that 'ya got there anyw—shit!"

Arthur presses the rag—now soaked in medical alcohol—down onto Micah's thigh, grabbing his knee with the other hand as Micah tries to jerk it away. "Don't be a baby, Bell." He keeps the other outlaws' leg close, not letting him pry it away. "You're fine, stop overreacting."

Micah grumbles again, still letting out little hisses to the burning-tingly sensation in his leg. "Could'da warned me, 'ya know?" He mumbles, placing his hands in his lap and looking away from the white rag on his leg as it slowly changes in color.

After a moment longer, he takes it away and drapes the slightly red rag over his thigh, moving to grab the box. He opens it to reveal a needle and some thread, for the stitching. Micah watches him place the end of the thin string piece in his mouth, observing the action. A little too closely, maybe. Arthur runs the thread through the hole in the needle, looking at Micah. "No snarky comment 'bout it?" Micah rolls his eyes while Arthur gives a brief huffed laugh, leaning down slightly. He places his whole hand on Micah's upper thigh, trying to use the campfire to better see what he's doing.

A few twitches here and there; a gasp or two; Micah's arm finding itself gripping onto the wood log they're sat on. He never liked getting stitches. Nobody did, to be fair, but he had an extra hatred for it. He let out a deep exhale when Arthur finally finished, relieved. "We still got that lip you chewed open." Arthur reminds him, which breaks Micah away from his moment of gratitude. "Come on, it ain't nearly as bad as this," Arthur gestures to Micah's fixed up thigh, and he just waves him off. Arthur puts the needle and thread away, thankfully, and instead gets another smaller rag out. I mean, damn, is he always this prepared? Micah angles himself slightly more to face Arthur, who dabs a bit of the alcohol onto the clean rag, making Micah grimace. "You'll be fine." Arthur sees his reaction and clicks his tongue at the man.

A red rag draped over his leg, medical alcohol between his thighs and Micah's chin in-between his index and thumb, holding up a clean cotton cloth to his mouth and collecting blood.

"'Ya gotta stay still." Arthur's voice grumbles, slightly strained. The fire next to them crackles loudly and the night is silent, all for the occasional cricket or animal howl in the far distance or moving shrubbery. "I can't do it if you're squirmin' around the entire time." He holds onto the chin of the other with a firmer grip, trying to wipe his bottom lip of the leaky red substance. Micah's hand stay in his lap, palms squished between his thighs as he leans his head back, looking down at the other cowboy.

He snarls when the alcohol-infused material brushes over his busted lip, trying to jerk his head away—to no avail, as Arthur's grip keeps him exactly where he is, unmoving. "Damn it, Morgan.. thought you was a gentleman." His laugh is a small wheeze, the hot breath escaping his mouth and landing on Arthur, who tuts at him and shakes his head at the comment.

Despite how confident he sounds, Micah is sweating; his hands are clammy and his eyes are slightly widened, staring either at Arthurs hands or his eyes, switching frequently between the two. Arthur was mostly focused on making this less painful for Micah, surprisingly, so he didn't notice much about how Micah was reacting. Thank God.

The rag swiped over his gashes, sending little tingles through Micah's mouth, causing his slightly parted lips to twitch a few times. His eyes were on Arthurs' face, taking note of the slow flutter of his lashes every few seconds he'd blink; the crease in his eyebrows as he focused; his slightly crooked nose that's been broken a few times, something he knew of, because he was there for one of the instances before; the slightly plum-ish color of his mildly chapped lips and their mostly thin, yet soft look—stop.

He grimaced at his own trail of thought, and his lips clasped down closed—right over Arthur's thumb. The man glanced right up at Micah's face, which was getting more red by the second, his blood split between going to his face and his trousers. Arthurs' eyes flicked between Micah's mouth and eyes, just like Micahs' own two. The silence was deafening, awkward and felt so much longer than it truly was. What made it even worse was Micah opening his mouth, just for Arthur to keep his thumb there for a moment, staring intently at Micah. Both of them hadn't yet realised the very defined outlines of their erections, leaving little to imagination if any of them dared look down and check.

After what felt like years, Arthur clears his sore throat and retreats his hand, wordlessly starting to pack up the medical supplies. No words were needed, actually. Their new, little problems spoke volumes, that much was obvious. Micah slowly got up and instantly retreated to his tent, leaving Arthur to intently wait for Micah to close the flaps before hunching over and exhaling all his pent-up breath, head in his hands. What the hell was that?

He glared at his own boner when he leaned his head down, cursing at himself. The distaste he held for Micah was not strange to anyone; in fact, it was a known fact that Arthur simply did not like Micah. That's how its always been, and how Arthur planned to keep it. None of this... whatever it was, with Micah, will ever mean anything. Arthur knew what he was, like Micah did. Both of them were specifically only into women, and this was a simple reaction of touch-starvation, their bodies being confused. That's what they'll go with.

Now there's another problem to solve, in the tent right next to the culprits' own one.

The campfire had long extinguished itself by morning when Arthur walked out of his tent, instantly feeling a certain heat in his cheeks at the sight of Micah—the early-bird, obviously long awake by the time Arthur had gotten up. Micah doesn't dare look his way, the beige hat he wears covering his cheeks well enough. The mere knowledge of his presence brought color to the pale, weathered skin of Micah Bell.

The awkwardness of last night didn't even compare to the one of riding back to camp. It was quite the ride, a slow, silent and painfully on-edge trot through West Elizabeth and back to Horseshoe Overlook. Neither of the two spoke, not even small-talk was deemed possible at this point. They rode alongside each other for a few hours, silent and red in the face.

Seeing camp come into view might have been the highlight of this trip for the two of them.

They hitched up wordlessly, ready to part when Dutch's voice beamed through the campsite, making both men curse and reluctantly turn. "My boys! Tell me, how was that?"

The truth would make him lose his goddamn head.

Kudos on AO3 always appreciated! This ship has me in the worst chokehold known to mankind, they make me absolutely sick and make me want to bite my fingers off for writing this but..... toxic yaoi. Need therapy bad.

EDIT: I honestly left this a very open ending, and technically; a part two is possible. Please do tell me, on AO3 or here, if that's something you'd like to see! <3