#I need things to be done with purpose and intention in this show!! just once!!

[gali-vue-la]

do y'all ever think about what happened after the third movie.

i dont, often, because i dont like the third movie. ive only watched it once, so i could be wrong about some things, but i was just thinking today about how things would've gone on in the days and weeks and years after.

mostly, about hiccup, because all i ever think about these days are hiccup and toothless. i was thinking about how, for a large part of his life, everything about hiccup has revolved around toothless and dragons. how it was, really, the first thing he'd ever done that got more than a glance from someone else. more than a "get back inside before you mess everything up more" from his father, from anyone.

we see two of hiccup's inventions in the first movie: first, the mangler, which was built, designed, and operated with the intent to help his village, to hunt dragons, to be like everyone else. it is dismissed outright, he is dismissed outright, and later, it is crushed under the foot of a monstrous nightmare that intends to kill him. we don't ever see it again, it is never thought of or acknowledged again, and i can just picture the wood rotting apart, the metal sinking into the earth until no trace remains.

then we see toothless's tailfin. everything it represents is contrary to what the mangler was; it does not help the village, it does not hunt dragons, it makes hiccup even more of an outlier than he already was. it is the only of hiccup's inventions thus far to have been taken seriously, the only thing anyone else has ever put value in. we see gobber, at the end of the first movie, with a tailfin he constructed for hiccup, for toothless, from hiccup's destroyed design and what must have been his notes, because it is the only invention that they have ever cared about, the only one they have bothered to take a closer look at. it comes, in turn, with the arrival and acceptance of dragons.

following that, we see so many, countless, of hiccup's creations. i wont even delve into the shows, because i could be here for hours.

in the second movie, we see his glide suit, his sword, his leg. even little things, like where he stores his map, his little compass, and the tailfin, which carries over from the first movie, with improvements—every single one of these once again revolves around toothless and dragons. every one is important when it comes to saving berk and the dragons from drago's clutches.

his glide suit, we later see, is furthered in the third movie, and by then, each of the "main gang" has their own flight suit. it's vital in defeating drago and outsmarting/outmaneuvering him. it is something hiccup so clearly adores, something he needs toothless to use and something that furthers the connection between them. he uses it to fly alongside him, he uses it to soar the skies, he uses it like a pair of prosthetic wings.

his leg, too, is so entangled in what has become him-and-toothless, that it is specifically designed to be different to the walking attachment when he's flying with toothless. there was no need to make it different, and yet, flying and dragons and toothless are so important to him that they have their own spot, their own design, their own piece of themselves in something hiccup cannot live without. it's like a key in the lock that is toothless's tailfin; they cannot fly without this specific, unique design of hiccup's prosthetic leg. this specific, unique design of hiccup's prosthetic leg that serves no purpose other than flying with toothless.

this brings me to my original thought: his sword. Inferno.

It is a blade, yes, but like everything else hiccup has made since the first movie: it is so entangled in everything that makes dragons dragons that it is almost inseparable. Zippleback gas and Nightmare gel are what make it Inferno and not a mere skeleton of a sword. except it's not infinite, and it's not forever, and with no dragons around after the third movie, he will run out of gel, and he will run out of gas, and inferno will become a skeleton of itself. something that no longer works like it should, like hiccup designed and built it to.

what do you think happens, when that day comes?

hiccup is so entangled in everything that makes dragons dragons that they are almost inseparable. what do you think became of him, in those days and weeks and months and years after? do you think he broke down every time he had to give up one of his creations? do you think he became numb, despondent, as he watched so much of his hard work become unusable? useless, once more, like he had been? do you think he fell back into the boy he once was, before dragons? do you think he felt worthless? Hiccup, the dragon master, without dragons? do you think he struggled?

I do. I think it was horrific, and excruciating, and enough to break a lesser man.

i think he used that blade until the day he ran out of gas and gel. i think he couldn't bear to use it after, strong as it still may be, because it didn't work right. it didn't work like he intended it to. i think he hides it away, because he can't bear to look at it, but he keeps it close, under his bed, maybe, or in a chest that's always closed, because he can't bear to be apart from it, either.

I think he used his scale armour until it broke apart, reached for shedded scales to grind to paste and fix it and instead scraped fingernails against the bottom of an empty bucket.

i think he ran his fingers over his glide suit, over every one of toothless's prosthetic tailfins over and over and over again until he realized they were wearing beneath his touch and the oil from his hands, and then i think he hid them away, so he'd never be tempted to touch them again. so he could never lose them, so he could never ruin them. so they'd last forever, even though they'd never be used again. i think he can picture them, perfectly, in his mind, every single detail and every single second he spent making them, but he's terrified that if he touches them, if he ruins them, he'll forget, and he'll have nothing left.

i think he did the same with his notebooks and designs, filled to the brim with sketches of not only his inventions, but of dragons, of toothless, of his tailfin, of every gear and mechanism he used, because he's terrified of losing them. he's terrified of forgetting how he made it, of just how long each metal boning had been, of how he fastened the leather, the angle of the curve it needed to be to fit perfectly against toothless's tail without chafing or being too loose. i think that it stays in him, in his hands and in his bones and in his mind, instinctively, that even five or ten or one-hundred years later he could still make that tailfin with his eyes closed and his hands behind his back and i think that it would be perfect, but i also think that he is more terrified than anything that he will forget how to. i think his breath stutters when he works with pulleys, and i think he has trouble wrapping leather around metal for the rest of his life.

i think that one day, with the wear, and the tear, and the strain of use, that his leg breaks. i think it shatters apart as he gets out of bed one morning, because his hands shake when he tries to check on it, when he tries to maintain it, and he hasn't been able to do more than oil it in quite a while. i think it breaks apart like glass, with metal strained and torn and weak, and i think that he falls apart when it does. i think he doesn't move, for a long, long time, fallen to the floor without anyone to catch him like there used to be, and he holds the pieces in his hands like they're more precious than gold, than anything else, because to him, they are. i think he tries to piece it back together, but the important parts are shattered, and it keeps falling apart and he doesn't have enough hands or fingers to keep it from doing so. i think that he stays there until someone finds him, and i think it takes hours even then, while someone holds his hands in their own to stop them from shaking, until they get gobber, and I think gobber makes his new leg for him, because hiccup can't.

i think gobber makes his new leg with a flight attachment, i think he makes it exactly the same as the previous one, because he can't imagine anything different. i think he does it because he's scared of what it'll do to hiccup if he doesn't.

i think that at the end of the third movie, so much has been taken from the village, from the people of berk, and from the dragons, but i think it takes and takes and takes even more from hiccup. how many things, do you think, he has made, that he holds and sees and touches after, that are rendered useless? how many things was he working on? how many designs are in his notebooks that will never become real? that he will never get to test and try and experiment with? how many ideas do you think he had, waiting for the right moment, that he now can't even bring himself to write down?

how many ideas does he have, after? how many times do you think he starts reaching for his notebook, for a piece of metal in the forge, for a hammer, before he realizes, what for? What's the point?

how many times do you think he realizes that so many of his ideas are useless once more?

pt 2 cuz im a loser

[cranberrymoons]

okay so what I think is SO interesting and honestly incredible about the writing and cinematography of the kitchen scene is the fact that it manages to turn buck and eddie's entire relationship on its head in both a meta sense and a story sense in the space of just a few minutes. because yes they have had other partners off and on until recently, but "husband" is the space that buck and eddie usually inhabit for each other. and I mean this in an in universe way but also in a meta way, like they are each other's confidantes and support system, yes, but they are also 100% written as the fourth married couple on the show and always have been even in the past when they had other partners. they have always been given equal weight as the other main couples on the show.

so in a meta sense, yes they've always been written with the tropes of a couple for storyline purposes etc because they're usually paired off together. but this is THE first time that they have ever been so explicitly written as spouses, and it's done in conflict. they are in their shared home with their shared grocery shopping and having a fight that has the energy of a married couple teetering on the brink of divorce. the scene feels like something out of Marriage Story dropped into the middle of an episode of network procedural television. it is lit and shot in a way that has only been used twice before on this show, both times for previous breakups that buck and eddie have separately had in that same set. and it is SO raw and intense and close, like you can feel them clinging to each other and pushing each other away at the same time.

and then also like. in a story sense it is twisting this idea as well because they're fighting about a lot of different things (grief, loss, miscommunication, desire, shared anger, longing) but the thing that is sparking the fight in the moment or at least tipping it over the edge is the fact that buck is trying so hard to be what everyone needs at once. he's trying to be there for EVERYONE and trying so hard not to leave anyone out in the cold in their grief because that's what bobby told him to do (in his mind). and while buck is doing all of this and also processing his own enormous grief, he is missing the fact that what Eddie needs right now is not the same as what everyone else needs from him. everyone else has their families and their partners and their private grief, but what Eddie needs in all of this is for buck to fill the emotional role that he usually fills, which is – for all intents and purposes – his husband. and this is sort of the first tacit acknowledgement that what they are to each other and what they need from each other is something different than what they are to the other people in their lives.

[bloomzone]

2025 : #22 How to LOCK IN

✒️..You overwhelmed. u keep saying, "I need to get my life together," but you don’t even know where to start. That feeling being stuck in ur own head, paralyzed by everything and nothing at the same time it’s real ikr I've been there but there’s a way out of this messy shit is to locking in. Locking is when "u stop reacting, and you start creating" . You start showing up for yourself like you matter because you do but how .. ?

1. SET GOALS & INTENTIONS

Before anything else, you need direction. When life feels messy, it’s usually because you're reacting to everything instead of moving with purpose. So start with a pause. Ask yourself: What do I want my life to actually look like? Not in vague terms like "success" or "happiness" but specifically. What kind of mornings do you want? What kind of work fulfills you? What kind of people do you want around you? What does peace look like for you?

Now set intentions. An intention isn’t just a goal it’s a way of being. A goal says "I want to lose 10 pounds." An intention says "I want to treat my body like it matters." That's the difference. Intentions give your goals a soul. Write both down . This is your why and you're going to need it when things get hard then u will remember to keep u going

2. KILL DISTRACTIONS

When life feels messy, the first thing you have to do is quiet the noise. And I don’t mean just the literal noise . I’m talking about the mental clutter: endless scrolling, group chats with no purpose, random content you consume that makes you compare yourself to others (hear me out) All of it is stealing your focus. You can’t figure out your life if you’re constantly filling your brain with everybody else’s.

Start by auditing your digital life. What apps do you open as soon as you wake up? What’s constantly grabbing your attention but giving you nothing real back? If it doesn’t help you grow, if it doesn’t calm your mind, if it doesn’t fuel your creativity it’s time to let it go. At least for now. Silence can be uncomfortable at first, but within silence lives clarity. And clarity is the seed of change.

3. FLIP THE MENTAL SWITCH

This part is important as setting goals . If your life feels off track, you have to make a hard decision with yourself: Am I going to keep living like this, or am I going to do something about it? This is where you flip the switch. And flipping it means choosing to no longer accept a half-lived version of your life. It’s the moment where you say, "I’m tired of feeling behind. I’m done wasting time."

You might not know how to fix everything yet, but the decision to lock in is the beginning. This switch is an energy shift. It’s the point when you stop waiting for motivation, stop waiting to feel "ready," and decide that showing up is no longer optional. You become your own motivator. You stop asking, "Can I really do this?" and start saying, "Watch me." It’s about becoming unrecognizable to your past self, one action at a time

4. CONTROL YOUR SPACE

When your life feels messy, often your space reflects it ofc . Look around your room. Your desk. Your phone. Your inbox. Is it all chaos? Then your mind will be too. You don’t need to do a full makeover you just need to create order. Clean your room like you're clearing your head or like someone important will come in organize your stuff like you’re organizing your next move.

When your physical environment feels chaotic, it signals your brain that you’re not safe, not grounded, not focused. And that’s exhausting. You deserve a space that supports the person you want to become. Light a candle. Open a window. Get some sunlight in . Your space should be a place where change can happen. Because once your space feels clean and calm, your mind starts to follow.

4. FUEL YOUR BODY

You can’t lock in if you’re running on fumes. That foggy, tired, heavy feeling you’re carrying A lot of it is physical. You’re probably dehydrated. You’re probably not sleeping enough. You're probably surviving on caffeine and chips or whatever. And I get it when your mind is a mess, eating right and sleeping well feel impossible.

But your body is the machine that gets you out of this rut. If your body is crashing, your mind can’t focus. Your emotions spiral more easily. Start small: more water, less sugar. Stretch your body in the morning. Take deep breaths. Cook for urself , go outside. Move your body. Fuel it. Your energy and mental clarity will thank you. You don’t have to go from 0 to gym rat. You just have to treat your body like it matters.treat your body like how u will treat your child

5. FOCUS YOUR MIND

Right now, your thoughts are probably bouncing everywhere. You feel overwhelmed because your brain is trying to solve everything at once. But focus isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing the next thing.

And to do that, you need clarity. You need to know what matters right now. not next week. not next year. right now. What’s one thing you can finish today that moves you forward? Is it doing laundry? Submitting an application? Journaling your feelings? Focus on that doing your homework ?. Give it all your attention. Turn ur phone off and pour into that one thing. Get used to being present. That’s what real focus feels like your full self showing up to a single task.

6. OWN YOUR TIME

When your life is a mess, time just slips through your fingers. Days go by and you don’t even know what you did. That stops now. You need to get intentional. Before bed, plan tomorrow. Write three things you want to accomplish. Block off your time, even if it’s just: wake up 1h before ur usual time , workout , cook breakfast... . It doesn’t have to be extreme. It just has to be deliberate.

Think of your time like currency. Once it’s spent, you don’t get it back. So don’t spend it on guilt, fear, overthinking, or distraction. Spend it on action. On healing. On building something that matters.

7. ALIGN SPIRITUALLY

Here’s the part no one talks about when you're in a mess: your soul is tired. U feel disconnected. You might not even remember what peace feels like. Locking in isn’t just about habits It’s also about realignment.

You are more than your productivity. You are more than your checklist. So pause. Sit with yourself. Be still. Breathe. Talk to God, the universe, your ancestors whatever u believe in , journal . Let your spirit speak too . Let your pain surface. Let yourself feel again. That’s where the answers you’re begging for will show up always have some minutes everyday whenever in the morning or night to sit and talk to urself and let everything out (negativity) .

8. EMBRACE DETACHMENT

Detachment isn’t about not caring it’s about caring from a place of peace not panic. When you’re locked in, you learn to release your grip on things you can’t control: people’s opinions, outcomes, and timing. You stop chasing, and instead, you start aligning. You don’t beg for energy, attention, or results you trust that what’s meant for you is flowing your way. The art of detachment is what keeps your power close. You give your best and focused, but you’re no longer shaken by what doesn’t go as planned. That’s is called control .To practice detachment, start by identifying what’s stressing you out or what you’re obsessing over ask yourself if it’s something you can change or if it’s beyond your control or out of it . Then, consciously let go of the attachment to that outcome or person. This doesn't mean you stop caring it means you trust that whatever happens is part of the journey and that it will all unfold as it’s meant to. You can practice detachment by shifting your focus back to what you can control your actions, your attitude, and your peace of mind. With time, detachment helps you remain calm, clear-headed, and more connected to your own path without being weighed down by the uncontrollable.

If your life feels messy, that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re being called to level up. To stop floating. To stop waiting for someone to save you. Locking in isn’t boring it’s freedom. It’s how you take back control. And once you feel that click you’ll never want to go back.have a good luck 🍀.

@bloomzone

[ohisms]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of lyric prompts based on billy joel's 1977 album the stranger . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

working too hard can give you a heart attack .

we all fall in love , but we disregard the danger .

for just this once i hope that looks don't deceive .

the sinners are much more fun .

get it right the first time .

i know that everybody has a dream .

i'm not much good at conversation .

yeah , i might get up the nerve .

all that i could give you was a reputation .

i search everywhere for some new inspiration .

i don't believe in first impressions .

i want you just the way you are .

this is my dream ; just to be at home , alone with you .

just let me pull myself together .

you didn't count on me when you were counting your rosary .

though you can see when you're wrong , you can't always see when you're right .

gonna have to make the first time last .

a word from you can bring a better day .

they say there's a heaven for those who will wait .

i can't afford to let it pass .

what purpose would that serve ?

i never was much good at coming on real strong .

i don't have time for true confessions .

if all it takes is inspiration , i might have just what it takes .

you might've heard i run with a dangerous crowd .

i don't know how to say those first few words .

you've done it . why can't someone else ?

you'd better cool it off before you burn it out .

i've gotta give it one good try .

i suppose it's now or never .

you can't be everything you wanna be before your time .

it all depends upon your appetite .

only the good die young .

come out , [ name ] , don't let me wait .

dream on , but don't imagine they'll all come true .

don't you know that only fools are satisfied ?

they didn't give you quite enough information .

it's always the same in the end .

they never tell you the price that you'll pay for the things you've done .

things are okay with me these days .

i'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints .

we ain't too pretty , we ain't too proud .

we might be laughing a bit too loud , but that never hurt anyone .

slow down , you're doing fine .

take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile .

i didn't know you could look so nice after so much time .

sooner or later , it comes down to fate .

i took the good times , i'll take the bad times .

you've got so much to do , and only so many hours in the day .

if you're so smart , why are you so afraid ?

don't change the color of your hair .

it's alright , you can afford to lose a day or two .

you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need .

i just want someone i can talk to .

don't go changing to try and please me .

is that all you get for your money ?

i couldn't love you any better .

we never knew we could want more than that out of life .

you can never go back there again .

don't be afraid to try again , everyone goes south now and then .

it seems such a waste of time .

you've never let me down before .

though we share so many secrets , there are some we'll never tell .

good luck moving up , cause i'm moving out .

i'll meet you any time you want .

you should know by now , you've been there yourself .

once i used to believe i was such a great romancer .

what will it take 'til you believe in me the way that I believe in you ?

you always have my unspoken passion , though i might not seem to care .

i would not leave you in times of trouble .

i don't want clever conversation , i never want to work that hard .

though you drown in good intentions , you'll never quench the fire .

did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself ?

we all have a face that we hide away forever . we take them out and show ourselves when everyone is gone .

[rosemariiaa]

~Off the Rails (And into my Head) pt2~

𐙚— pairing: Paige x Azzi

𐙚— w/c: 9.4k (i think)

𐙚— rosie’s note: hi there, after my little crashout we finally got it! not all they proofread but wtv, happy reading lovelies 💌

𐙚— themes: fluff, language

By now, Azzi is convinced Paige is doing this on purpose.

Because no one—not even the most scatterbrained, forgetful, reckless person on the planet—could possibly get locked out of their hotel room four times in two weeks without some level of intention.

Right?

She doesn’t want to sound cocky, but at a certain point, she has to wonder—is this really just Paige being dumb, or is she actually doing this to see me?

The first time, Azzi gave her the benefit of the doubt. Mistakes happen. People forget their keycards. No big deal.

The second time, it was kind of funny. Paige had banged on Azzi’s door, looking like a very inconvenienced golden retriever, grumbling about how she definitely left her key on the nightstand.

The third time? Suspicious.

And now, standing in the hallway yet again, watching Paige attempt (and fail) to sweet-talk the front desk into giving her a new key without ID, Azzi is starting to think this is a pattern.

“You know they’re not gonna let you in unless you have ID,” she says, arms crossed.

Paige leans against the counter, turning on the charm. “Come on, man. We’ve done this before.”

The employee—same guy from last time, looking thoroughly unimpressed—gives her a blank stare. “Yeah. We have. Which is why you should know I can’t give you a key without ID.”

Paige sighs, spinning to face Azzi like she’s personally offended. “You hear this? They don’t trust me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow. “Because you literally could be an intruder.”

Paige scoffs. “Do I look like an intruder?”

Azzi takes in her oversized hoodie, messy bun, and sock-covered feet—because, of course, Paige didn’t even put on shoes before locking herself out. Again.

“…You look like someone who doesn’t deserve to get let back into their room.”

Paige gasps, audibly. “Wow. And I thought we were friends.”

Azzi rolls her eyes but doesn’t bother hiding her smile. “I’ll go get my key.”

But before she can turn, Paige is already leaning dramatically over the counter, pleading her case.

Paige leans on the hotel counter, exasperated. “Kevin, I’ll give you my full name, room number—whatever you need.”

Kevin doesn’t blink. “Still need ID.”

Paige groans. “Kevin, you’re killing me.”

“Not my problem.”

Azzi snorts, clearly enjoying the show.

Paige sighs. “Come on, you know me. I’m practically on payroll at this point.”

Kevin just raises an eyebrow. “Or you could stop forgetting your key.”

Azzi covers her mouth to muffle a laugh.

Paige turns to her. “Alright, hypothetically, I’m a paying guest, right?”

Kevin deadpans, “You are a guest.”

“So, shouldn’t I get customer service?”

Azzi actually laughs now.

Kevin stays unimpressed. “Customer service doesn’t mean breaking hotel policy.”

Paige throws herself onto the counter like a child. “You are so dramatic, Kevin.”

Kevin shrugs.

Azzi, amused but knowing this could go on forever, steps in. “Kevin,” she says, sweet and polite. “I totally understand if you can’t, but I’d really appreciate it if you made an exception.”

Kevin hesitates.

Azzi tilts her head, smiling.

Kevin sighs, already caving. “Fine. Just this once.”

Paige snatches the key before Azzi can grab it. “Wow. So all it takes is her asking? Unreal.”

Kevin shrugs. “She asked nicely.”

Paige’s eye twitches. “I asked nicely!”

Azzi laughs. “No, you didn’t.”

Paige huffs, dragging Azzi away by the wrist.

Azzi stumbles after her, grinning. “Aw are you jealous right now?”

Paige scoffs. “No. I’m offended.”

“Same thing.”

Back at Paige’s room, she grumbles under her breath, keycard clenched in her fist like a personal insult.

Azzi shakes her head, still entertained. “I barely even asked.”

Paige scoffs. “Barely asked? Please. You could get someone’s social security number with that voice.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “It’s called being polite.”

“I was polite.”

Azzi gives her a look.

Paige throws a hand up. “I said ‘come on, man,’ I used his name, I even recited my room number! I was the definition of polite.”

Azzi hums, unconvinced.

Paige glares. “Don’t ‘hmm’ me. You smiled, and Kevin folded in three seconds.”

Azzi smirks.

Paige scowls. “Wipe that look off your face.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re smug.”

Azzi grins. “Well, I did get you a free key.”

Paige narrows her eyes. “I don’t need your charity.”

Azzi teases, “Should I go back and tell Kevin I changed my mind?”

Paige shoves the key deeper into her pocket. “Don’t you dare.”

Azzi laughs as Paige jams the key into the slot harder than necessary.

Green light.

Paige throws the door open. “Finally.”

Inside, Paige flops onto the bed dramatically.

Azzi perches on the edge. “So… you wanna admit you did this on purpose, or should we pretend you’re just that forgetful?”

Paige groans into the comforter. “I wish I was smart enough to plan this.”

Azzi chuckles. “At least you admit it.”

Paige peeks at her through her fingers. “You’re never gonna let this go, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

Paige groans again.

Azzi nudges her. “Look on the bright side. You’re inside now.”

Paige squints. “Wait… what’s the bright side?”

Azzi gives her a look. “That you’re not locked out?”

Paige blinks. “Huh. Never thought about it that way.”

Azzi shakes her head, laughing. “You’re unbelievable.”

Paige smirks. “You still like me.”

Azzi stills for half a second.

Paige doesn’t notice.

But Azzi does.

Because liking Paige is too easy.

She swallows the thought, rolling her eyes instead. “You wish.”

Paige grins. “I know.”

Azzi stands. “Come on, let’s make the sushi before you lock yourself out again.”

Paige groans. “Ugh, fine.”

Azzi heads toward the tiny kitchen space as Paige pulls herself up, watching her go.

Azzi washes her hands first. Paige doesn’t, and Azzi gives her a pointed look until she does.

It’s a small thing, but Paige kind of likes it—how Azzi just expects her to listen, to follow her lead. Like she already knows Paige will.

Azzi is focused as she reads the instructions, brows drawn in concentration, lower lip slightly tucked between her teeth. Paige should be paying attention, but instead, she leans against the counter, watching Azzi’s mouth move as she murmurs something about the rice.

She’s always been good at picking things up quickly—on the court, in school, in life—but standing here, watching Azzi prep sushi like it’s an art, Paige feels totally out of her element.

“This is the easy part,” Azzi says, rinsing the rice before setting it on the stove.

Paige hums, pretending to listen, but really, she’s still caught up in her own thoughts.

It’s almost funny.

Paige never stops talking—never has, never will—but right now, she doesn’t want to.

She just wants to watch.

The way Azzi moves, the way her hands glide effortlessly as she preps the cutting board, the way she hums lightly under her breath, completely at ease.

Paige has known her for—what, two weeks now? Three? She should not be this mesmerized.

And yet, here she is.

She hears Azzi sigh and snaps out of it.

“Are you even paying attention?” Azzi asks, exasperated but amused.

Paige grins, rubbing the back of her neck. “Define ‘paying attention’.”

Azzi shakes her head, grabbing the bamboo mat and placing it in front of Paige. “Here. You’re rolling first.”

Paige raises an eyebrow. “You trust me with this?”

Azzi considers for a moment. “Not really, but I think you should suffer a little before I show you how to really do it.”

Paige gasps dramatically. “Wow. So rude.”

Azzi grins. “I’m just being honest.”

Paige narrows her eyes, pointing at her. “You’re evil.”

“Maybe a little.”

Paige watches as Azzi spoons the rice onto the nori, smoothing it out with the back of the spoon like she’s done this a million times before.

Paige, on the other hand, is struggling.

Her rice sticks to her fingers, clumping in the most unforgivable way.

Azzi laughs. “Wet your hands first.”

Paige scowls, but does as she’s told. “You could’ve told me that before I embarrassed myself.”

Azzi grins, still not missing a beat. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Paige huffs and turns back to her roll, looking more like a disaster than a sushi chef. Her eyes keep darting to Azzi, who’s smoothly making her own roll with grace—just another moment of Paige feeling out of her depth.

But there’s something about the way Azzi moves, how at ease she is in this kitchen, that makes Paige want to keep looking.

Azzi picks up a cucumber, cutting it with swift precision. Paige notices the way the light catches her hair, the soft curls falling into place, how her eyes flick between the food and the knife, like she’s at peace.

It’s a little… distracting.

Paige feels a warmth in her chest she can’t quite place, a soft tug that she pretends not to notice.

“Okay, now roll it,” Azzi says, gesturing to Paige’s half-made roll.

Paige grabs the bamboo mat and hesitates. She tries to roll, but the thing unravels in her hands.

Azzi snickers, but it’s not mean—it’s light, like she’s amused at Paige’s stubbornness.

Paige glares. “Stop laughing and help.”

Azzi leans over, hands brushing against Paige’s as she fixes the mess Paige made. Paige freezes, feeling the heat in her face, her heartbeat quickening at the accidental touch.

But Azzi doesn’t notice.

Or maybe she does.

Because when she looks up, she lingers.

There’s something in the air then. It’s almost like time slows, the space between them filling with an almost magnetic tension. Paige feels her breath catch for a second, and she wonders if Azzi notices too.

And then, like nothing’s changed, Azzi smirks, tilting her head. “You make the easiest things so hard, piece of cake.”

Paige lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

She steps back, letting Azzi work, and leans against the counter again, arms crossed.

She should be annoyed.

She should be focused.

But all she can think about is how Azzi looks when she’s in her element—calm and beautiful.

Paige should be keeping track of the roll. She should be keeping track of the task at hand. But as Azzi continues to move, Paige can’t tear her eyes away from the other woman.

Azzi flicks a strand of hair from her face as she continues assembling, making the final adjustments to Paige’s half-made sushi with delicate, practiced hands.

Paige doesn’t want to admit it—but she is mesmerized by Azzi’s quiet focus.

By how patient she is.

It’s a strange thing for Paige—because she’s never been one to wait, especially when it comes to something she wants. But there’s something about Azzi’s calmness, the way she doesn’t rush anything, that makes Paige want to sit back and let it happen.

She watches, intently, as Azzi finishes rolling, securing it with a delicate press of the bamboo mat.

“And done,” Azzi says, placing the sushi in front of Paige with a soft smile.

Paige feels herself smile back, though there’s a quiet ache behind it.

She’s a mess. She’s never been this stuck on someone before. And maybe Azzi doesn’t even know it. Maybe Azzi doesn’t even feel it. But Paige knows. She can feel it in the air between them, the quiet moments where their eyes meet.

It lingers—thick and unspoken.

Paige is still standing close, her hands resting idly against the counter, but she’s not really thinking about the sushi anymore. Not even a little.

Azzi’s eyes stay on hers for a second longer than normal, and Paige is convinced she feels it too. The shift. The weight of something unspoken pressing between them.

Then, just as quickly, Azzi looks away.

Her gaze flickers to the food, then the living room, like she needs something else to focus on. “Should we go eat now?”

Paige blinks, snapping out of her thoughts—or the trance Azzi had her in, she thinks—and forces a nod.

“Yeah,” she says, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, let’s—uh—should we put on a movie or something?”

Azzi glances at her, then shrugs, casual. “Sure.”

They grab their plates and settle onto the couch, Azzi tucking her legs beneath her while Paige scrolls through the options on the screen.

It’s quiet for a minute, the only sound coming from the faint clicks of the remote. Paige hesitates for a second before casually tossing out, “You ever seen Frozen?”

She already knows the answer.

Azzi’s head snaps toward her, eyes lighting up in a way that makes Paige’s stomach flip.

“Duh,” Azzi says. “It’s my favorite.”

Paige smirks, feigning surprise. “No way. Really?”

Azzi narrows her eyes. “Don’t act like you didn’t already know that.”

Paige laughs, clicking on the movie. “Yeah, okay, maybe I did.”

The opening scene starts playing, and Paige watches from the corner of her eye as Azzi settles in, eyes locked on the screen like she’s seeing it for the first time.

Paige leans back, casually draping her arm along the back of the couch—not around Azzi, but close enough. She waits a few seconds, then shifts just a little closer.

Azzi doesn’t move away.

Paige tells herself it’s fine. Normal. Two people sitting on a couch watching a movie.

Except it isn’t normal.

Not when Paige is hyperaware of every tiny movement Azzi makes. Not when she can hear Azzi murmuring along to some of the lines, her voice softer than the actual dialogue.

Not when her own pulse is way too loud in her ears.

It’s nothing.

But it’s also everything.

Paige’s fingers drum lightly against the cushion, her mind racing with thoughts she’s not sure she should be having. She focuses on the screen, but really, she’s more focused on her—on the way Azzi’s expression changes slightly during each scene, how her lips curve upward whenever Olaf appears, how she instinctively tugs the sleeves of her sweater over her fingers when she gets comfortable.

And okay, maybe Paige lets herself stare a little too long.

Because suddenly, Azzi turns to look at her, catching her mid-stare.

Busted.

Paige barely has time to react before Azzi’s eyes flicker to her arm—still resting along the back of the couch, inches from her shoulders. Paige swears there’s a flicker of amusement in her gaze before Azzi looks back at the screen, like she’s choosing not to acknowledge it.

Paige clears her throat, shifting slightly.

She tells herself to relax, to focus on the movie, but then Azzi moves again—this time leaning in just enough that their arms brush, soft and warm.

It’s a tiny thing.

But it sends Paige’s brain into full meltdown mode.

Because suddenly, all she can think about is how easy it would be to just—do something.

To close the space. To see if Azzi would lean into her the way Paige thinks she might.

The thought alone is dangerous.

And then, as if to make things even worse, Azzi hums along to Let It Go, her voice quiet, absentminded.

Paige groans internally, tilting her head back against the couch.

She’s so, so screwed.

Because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

It’s not just that she met Azzi a few weeks ago. It’s that in those few weeks, she’s done things she wouldn’t normally do. She doesn’t get attached like this. She doesn’t make an effort like this.

And yet, here she was—driving Azzi to her first photoshoot before they even really knew each other, going to bookstores with her like it’s their thing, memorizing the way Azzi takes her coffee without realizing it.

Azzi had laughed when she first noticed.

“You remember my order?” she’d asked, watching as Paige handed her the cup.

Paige had shrugged, playing it off. “You act like you’re complicated. Black coffee with a splash of oat milk. Not exactly rocket science.”

Azzi had just hummed, smiling behind the rim of the cup before taking a sip. And Paige? Yeah, she’d definitely looked away too fast, heart knocking against her ribs.

It’s weird. Paige doesn’t do relationships like this. She’s had flings, sure—casual, easy, nothing that lingers. But this? Wanting to sit next to someone every time they’re in the same room? Wanting to hold them or just be in their space? She doesn’t know what to do with that.

Maybe that’s why Azzi’s here. Maybe because she doesn’t make Paige feel like she has to be anyone but herself. Maybe because she listens, really listens, even when Paige is rambling about why cereal should be considered a soup.

“Think about it,” Paige had argued one night, sitting cross-legged on Azzi’s couch. “It’s literally food floating in liquid. That’s soup.”

Azzi had just given her a look, unimpressed. “You know I’m never gonna agree with you on this, right?”

“That’s because you’re wrong,” Paige shot back, grinning.

Azzi rolled her eyes but didn’t argue further. Instead, she let Paige keep talking, nodding like she was genuinely considering the ridiculous debate.

And when Paige got too carried away, Azzi had just pressed a finger to her lips.

“Shhh.”

It wasn’t mocking or impatient. It was soft. Playful. And Paige? Yeah, she short-circuited immediately, brain going blank as she just stared.

Azzi had smirked, dropping her hand, like she knew exactly what she was doing.

Paige had barely recovered from that, and now here they are—sitting on Paige’s couch again, watching some movie Paige is definitely not paying attention to.

They’re close, closer than usual, and every time Azzi shifts slightly, Paige feels it. The warmth of her, the brush of her knee against Paige’s.

Her hand twitches against her thigh. She clenches her fingers, trying to get her brain to chill. But then, before she even realizes it, the words slip out.

“You’re really pretty.”

Azzi blinks, turning her head toward her. Paige realizes immediately what she just said.

“Oh,” Paige blurts, eyes widening slightly. “Uh—”

Azzi doesn’t look away. Instead, a slow, knowing smirk spreads across her lips.

“You just now realizing that?”

Paige opens her mouth, then closes it. She runs a hand through her hair like that’ll somehow make her feel less like a total idiot.

“I mean, no—obviously,” she says, forcing a laugh. “I just—wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.”

Azzi hums, her expression unreadable, but Paige swears she sees something shift in her eyes.

“Guess I should say thanks, then.”

Paige lets out a weak chuckle. “I mean, you could…”

Azzi’s gaze lingers for another second before she turns back toward the screen, but the air is different now. Charged.

Paige’s fingers twitch before she lets herself reach out, resting her hand lightly against Azzi’s knee.

Azzi doesn’t move away.

Paige’s stomach flips.

She hesitates, throat suddenly dry, before speaking. Her voice is quieter than usual, softer. “Is this okay?”

Azzi glances down at Paige’s hand, then meets her eyes again. Her expression stays unreadable for a beat too long, but then she nods.

Paige swallows, nerves buzzing under her skin.

They’re closer now—so close that Paige can feel Azzi’s breath against her lips.

Azzi shifts slightly, just a fraction of an inch, and suddenly their noses brush. Paige’s pulse stutters.

She should say something. She should—

Azzi’s fingers brush over the back of her hand, light, barely there, but Paige feels it everywhere.

The moment stretches—

And then.

Knock knock knock.

Paige freezes.

She groans as the knocking gets louder, dragging a hand down her face.

Azzi leans back into the couch, barely glancing away from the blondes face as she smirks. “I think someone wants your attention.”

Paige groans again, dramatically letting her head fall against Azzi’s shoulder. “Or, hear me out—I just don’t answer.”

Azzi pats her knee, voice light. “You should probably get that.”

The knocking persists.

Azzi raises an eyebrow, and Paige sighs heavily before finally forcing herself up, trudging to the door. Instead of opening it all the way, she cracks it just enough for her head to peek out.

KK and Caroline stand on the other side, both looking unimpressed.

“Finally,” KK huffed. “Took you long enough, bro.”

Paige blinked, eyes still adjusting. “What are you guys doing here?”

Caroline raised an eyebrow. “Paige.”

KK gasped dramatically. “No way. Nooo way. You forgot, didn’t you?”

Paige frowned. “Forgot what?”

KK reeled back, clutching her chest. “She forgot we were coming. After we planned this like a month ago. Ridiculous. The memory of a goldfish.”

Caroline sighed, shaking her head. “I texted you this morning.”

Paige blinked. There was a vague recollection of a text she’d skimmed and ignored, but her brain had been… preoccupied. Not with basketball, not with film, not even with herself. She glanced back over her shoulder at the couch, where Azzi was still watching the movie, blissfully unaware of the scene unfolding at the door.

Caroline crosses her arms. “Are you gonna let us in, or…?”

Paige hesitates, then shifts awkwardly in the doorway. “Uhhh…”

KK narrows her eyes. “Why you actin’ weird?”

“I’m not acting weird,” Paige says way too fast.

Paige turned back, lowering her voice. “Look, I’m kinda busy right now.”

KK squinted at her. “Busy?”

Caroline tilted her head. “Busy doing what?”

Paige shifted in place. “Just… chilling. Watching a movie.”

KK crossed her arms. “You never turn down a hangout to ‘chill.’ Who’s in there?”

Paige rolled her eyes. “Why does it matter?”

KK’s eyes lit up. “Ohhh. You’re hiding something.”

Caroline smirked. “Or someone.”

Paige groaned. “Oh my god.”

KK grinned. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

“No—” Paige stopped herself. “I mean, yes, but—” She exhaled sharply. “Look, just don’t be weird, okay?”

KK and Caroline exchanged glances before KK leaned in. “Who is she?”

Paige groans dramatically, dragging a hand down her face again. “Okay, first of all, y’all weren’t supposed to come today.”

Caroline raises an eyebrow. “We talked about this a month ago, Paige.”

Paige huffs. “Yeah, well, things have happened since then.”

KK tilts her head. “Like?”

Paige scratches the back of her head. “Like… like stuff.”

KK makes a face. “Damn. She’s lost it.”

Caroline sighs, already exhausted. “Paige, just let us in.”

Paige winces. “I will, I will, but like… just—be chill, okay? And you can’t be too loud.”

KK scoffs. “Since when do you care about being loud?”

Paige rolls her eyes. “It’s not for me, dumbass. 

Paige rolls her eyes. “It’s not for me, dumbass. It’s for—” She stops herself, then exhales sharply. “Look, just… just keep your voices down, alright? And also, don’t, like, bombardher with questions, okay? She gets overstimulated real fast.”

KK’s eyebrows shoot up. “Her?”

Caroline gives Paige a look.

Paige realizes her mistake a second too late.

KK grins. “Nooo way.”

Paige groans. “Shut up.”

KK whistles. “Ain’t no way. P Boogers got a girl?”

Paige hushes her immediately. “Shut up.”

KK grins. “Ohhh this is huge.”

Caroline sighs. “Paige, just let us in.”

“I will, but be cool. The coolest ever.”

KK smirks. “I am cool.”

“No, you’re annoying.”

KK ignores that. “So who’s in there?”

Paige shifts on her feet. “She wasn’t expecting company. And don’t interrogate her, okay? She gets overwhelmed sometimes.”

KK stares. Paige rambles.

“She’s indecisive as hell—almost cried picking between pancakes and waffles. And she likes quiet, so please—don’t be loud.”

KK and Caroline exchange looks.

Caroline smirks. “Paaaiiigeee.”

Paige frowns. “What?”

KK grins. “You like her.”

Paige stiffens. “Mind your business.”

KK’s grin widens. “P BOOGERS HAS A GIRLFRIEND. Ohhh brother. I thought you were asexual or something.”

Paige slaps a hand over her mouth. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

KK smirks. “Then why do you know her whole life story?”

Paige groans. “I hate you.”

Caroline nods. “She’s got a point.”

Before Paige can respond—

“Paige?”

They all freeze.

Azzi peeks through the door, blinking curiously. “Is everything okay?”

Paige steps in front of KK. “Yeah! Everything’s great.”

KK grins. Paige glares.

Azzi glances between them. “Who are you talking to?”

KK steps around Paige, eyes Azzi up and down. “Ohhh, so this is what had you acting weird.”

Paige sighs. “KK, please—”

Caroline, ever polite, extends a hand. “Hi, I’m Caroline. Nice to meet you.”

Azzi hesitates, then shakes it. “I’m Azzi.”

Caroline nods. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

Azzi frowns. “You have?”

KK grins. “Yeah, but not from you—from lover girl over here.” She gestures at Paige, who turns bright red.

Azzi looks at Paige in surprise. Paige stammers, “I—I don’t—”

KK cackles. “Girl, you just gave us her whole biography.”

Paige groans, squeezing her eyes shut. “Fuck me.”

Azzi, amused, watches Paige internally combust.

Paige sighs, stepping aside. “I guess y’all can come in.”

KK skips inside. “Aw, P Boogers, you’re so sweet.”

Paige groans, dropping her head into her hands.

They settle in. KK immediately snoops. “Okay, P, I see you! But damn, you still got them big-ass feet.”

Paige glares. “Put my shoe down before I make you eat it.”

Caroline eyes Frozen playing on the TV. “Frozen?” She looks at Azzi. “Your pick?”

Azzi nods. “Yeah, it’s my favorite.”

KK smirks. “Interesting. ‘Cause last I checked, P Boogers doesn’t sit through Disney movies for just anybody.”

Paige shoots her a look. “Shut up, KK.”

Azzi, still amused, leans in. “So… lover girl?”

Paige stiffens. “Azzi.”

Azzi smiles. “I was wondering why you hesitated letting them in. Now it makes sense.”

Paige groans. “KK exaggerates everything.”

Azzi hums. “So you didn’t recite my biography five seconds ago?”

Paige presses her lips together.

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

Paige sighs. “I maybe said a few things.”

Azzi grins. “A few?”

Paige groans. “Kill me now.”

Before Azzi can respond, KK plops onto the couch—right in Paige’s spot.

Paige blinks. “Hey—”

KK stretches. “Sooo, Azzi, how do you know P?”

Azzi barely has time to answer before Paige taps her shoulder.

“Get up.”

KK feigns innocence. “Uh… why?”

Paige gestures. “That’s my seat.”

KK leans back. “Nah, I’m comfy. You can sit by Caroline.”

Paige narrows her eyes. “Move.”

“Nope.”

Paige turns to Azzi. “Tell her to move.”

Azzi opens her mouth, but KK cuts in. “Damn, P, no patience. Lemme have a turn with Azzi”

Paige doesn’t respond—just kicks KK’s shin.

KK yelps. “Ow! You violent-ass—”

Paige immediately drops onto the couch, reclaiming her spot.

KK glares. “Oh, we’re playing dirty now?”

Paige smirks, arm draped over the back of the couch. “I told you to move.”

Azzi watches, amused. “Really?”

Paige shrugs. “What? I told her to move.”

Azzi shakes her head with a soft laugh. KK groans dramatically. “Unbelievable. She’s so whipped.”

Caroline sighs. “You two are actual children.”

KK, still rubbing her leg, huffed. “And Paige is a menace.”

Paige smirked, draping an arm over the back of the couch behind Azzi. “Damn right.”

Azzi just shook her head, biting back a smile. Paige, despite the chaos, felt perfectly content right where she was.

As they settled in, KK—still rubbing her leg from Paige’s kick—got straight to the point.

“So, Azzi,” she leaned forward, eyes glinting. “How do you know P over here?”

Azzi glanced at Paige before answering, “We met on the train.”

Caroline raised a brow. “The train?”

“Yeah,” Paige cut in. “We just… started talking.”

KK squinted. “You—just started talking? Like a normal person?”

Paige huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Azzi, amused, added, “She claimed i was stalking and she almost spoiled my book.”

“The Housemaid,” Azzi said when KK asked which one.

KK looked blank, but Caroline nodded. “That one’s pretty good.”

Azzi smiled. “Yeah, it was—”

“Was,” Paige corrected. “Until I almost ruined it.”

Azzi hummed. “I forgave you, didn’t I?”

Paige grinned. “After ten minutes of glaring at me.”

KK waved a hand. “So, you met on a train, bonded over a book, and now P is acting all weird and protective?”

“I am not—” Paige started, but KK was already squinting at her like she’d solved a puzzle.

Azzi just shrugged. “I guess?”

KK pointed at Paige. “You left us in the cold forever before letting us in. Since when do you hesitate opening the door for us?”

Paige opened her mouth, then closed it.

Caroline smirked. “She’s got a point.”

Paige groaned. “Can we move on?”

KK leaned back, smug. “Fine. But I’m circling back to this.”

Caroline turned to Azzi. “So, what do you do?”

“I’m a model,” Azzi said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

KK’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, shit. Runway?”

“A little of everything—runway, print, campaigns, commercials. It depends.”

“Sounds intense,” Caroline said.

“It is,” Azzi admitted. “Schedules are exhausting, and there’s pressure to look perfect. Body, skin, hair—everything. Plus the traveling. I barely stay in one place.”

“Sounds like hell,” KK said bluntly.

Azzi laughed. “It has its moments.”

Paige, beside her, hadn’t stopped watching. Not just listening—studying. The way Azzi’s lips moved, the subtle gestures of her hands. Close enough to notice a stray piece of cotton on Azzi’s sweater, Paige reached out without thinking, plucking it off.

Azzi paused mid-sentence, glancing at Paige as she flicked it away like it offended her. Paige, unfazed, just nodded.

Caroline, watching, almost gagged. “Jesus Christ.”

Paige blinked. “Hm?”

“Nothing,” Caroline muttered.

KK, meanwhile, was grinning. “Nah, I see it now. P, you been starin’ at her like she hung the damn moon.”

Paige groaned. “Can y’all stop?”

Azzi, unbothered, side-eyed her. “She always does that when I’m talking.”

Paige deadpanned. “You want me to stop?”

Azzi smirked. “Didn’t say that.”

Caroline rubbed her temples. “This is unbearable.”

KK cackled. “I love this.”

Paige ignored them completely, turning back to Azzi. “So, what’s been your favorite shoot so far?”

Azzi tilted her head, considering. “Probably my campaign for Dior. It was shot in Italy, and I got to wear some of the most beautiful couture pieces. It felt unreal.”

Paige nodded, still watching her like she was imagining it all in real time. “That’s sick. You gotta show me the pictures later.”

Azzi’s lips curled slightly. “I will.”

Caroline groaned. “Jesus, Paige, can you breathe?”

Paige shot her a glare. “I am breathing.”

KK leaned in, whispering loudly, “Barely.”

Caroline, ever the level-headed one, leaned back. “Since we’re all here, should we play a game or something?”

KK immediately perked up. “Ooooh, drinking game?”

Azzi blinked, looking a little hesitant. Paige noticed the way her fingers twitched slightly against her lap.

“Azzi doesn’t drink,” Paige said quickly. “So we’re not gonna pressure her into anything.”

Azzi gave her a small, appreciative look.

Caroline nodded. “Fair enough. We can do something else—like a truth-or-dare type thing. Or Azzi could just get a pass on drinking and win a date or something instead.”

KK wiggled her eyebrows. “Ooooh, now that’s an interesting twist.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow at Paige. “You’re supposed to come to my fitting tomorrow. You sure you wanna drink tonight?”

Paige blinked. “Oh… right.”

KK groaned. “Oh, come on, P. One night won’t kill you.”

Paige hesitated, then shook her head. “Nah, I’ll just sit this one out.”

KK gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “Who are you?”

Caroline laughed. “I mean, I think it’s sweet.”

KK shot her a look. “Okay, mom.”

Azzi, amused, just leaned in closer to Paige and whispered, “You’re really not gonna drink?”

Paige shrugged. “Gotta be sober enough to see you tomorrow, right?”

Azzi smiled. “Good answer.”

Paige grinned. “Yeah, yeah. Now, let’s play.”

As the game began, the questions were lighthearted, mostly directed at Azzi since she was new to the group. KK and Caroline took turns grilling her on the basics—where she was from, her job, and little details to get a sense of her.

Azzi handled it well, gradually opening up with a charm that made them warm up to her quickly. Paige, sitting beside her, watched with amusement, occasionally chiming in when Azzi mentioned something she already knew.

“You don’t have a New York accent,” KK noted.

Azzi laughed. “I’m from Virginia.”

“What brought you here?” Caroline asked.

Azzi hesitated, fingers twitching briefly. “Work… and a breakup.”

KK’s interest piqued. “Oh?”

Azzi smirked. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Caroline nodded. “Smart.”

“What’s your favorite thing about modeling?” Caroline asked.

“Travel,” Azzi said. “And the clothes—I get to wear things I’d never pick for myself, like the Italy shoot, It was on a rooftop overlooking the water—it felt unreal.”

“And least favorite?”

Azzi chuckled. “Shooting in freezing weather for hours in a thin dress.”

Paige frowned. “That’s messed up. No heated blankets or something?”

Azzi turned to her, amused. “They did, but only between shots. It wasn’t that bad.”

Paige still looked unimpressed but let it go.

The game continued, shifting between personal and lighthearted topics.

“So, how’d you and Paige start actually hanging out?” Caroline asked.

Azzi and Paige exchanged a glance, clearly recalling the same memory.

Azzi smirked. “I accidentally hit her in the forehead while trying to leave my room.”

KK’s eyes widened. “What?”

Paige groaned. “It was a personal attack.”

Azzi rolled her eyes. “It was an accident. She claimed I “owed” her so to make it up to her, we got food together.”

KK squinted at them. “Huh.”

Caroline raised a brow. “And the rest is history?”

Azzi shrugged. “Pretty much.”

Then the questions took a turn.

“Azzi, biggest turn-on?” Caroline asked.

“Confidence.”

“And turn-off?”

“Arrogance.”

Caroline side-eyed Paige. “Oof, close call, P.”

Paige pointed at her. “I will actually fight you.”

Azzi, amused, turned to Paige. “You think you’re arrogant?”

Paige hesitated. “…No?”

KK and Caroline burst into laughter.

Then, KK smirked. “Paige, what’s your type?”

Paige stiffened. “Why does that matter?”

“Because we’re nosy.”

Azzi glanced at her, waiting.

Paige cleared her throat. “Uh… driven people?”

Caroline smirked. “She means brunettes .”

Paige groaned as KK nearly fell over laughing. Azzi arched a brow, amused.

KK’s next question was worse. “Azzi, if you had to go on a date with someone in this room, who would it be?”

Paige tensed, forcing herself to stay neutral.

Azzi looked around casually, then smiled. “KK. She seems like she’d make it fun.”

KK beamed. “Knew I had charm.”

Paige’s stomach twisted. She hadn’t expected that. The flash of something unreadable in Azzi’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed, but she said nothing.

Paige forced a smile. “Of course. You’d want someone who keeps things interesting.”

She took a sip of her drink, chest tightening, as Azzi leaned back, studying the room with her usual quiet confidence.

—

The room was slowly quieting down as Caroline and KK stood up, stretching and grabbing their jackets. The game had wound down, the laughter still hanging in the air as they started to say their goodbyes.

“I’ll see you girls in the tomorrow, alright?” Caroline grinned, her eyes landing on Azzi. “This was fun. You’re a lot cooler than I expected.”

Azzi laughed, her smile warm. “Thanks, Caroline. You’re not so bad yourself.”

KK smirked, wrapping Azzi in a big, affectionate hug. “You’re my new best friend,” she said dramatically, squeezing her tight. “Get ready for all the shit I’m gonna drag you into.”

Azzi smiled against her shoulder, feeling the comfort of KK’s warm embrace. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Alright, alright, lets go KK,” Caroline teased, pulling KK away and waving as they headed for the door.

Paige and Azzi stood by the bed, the weight of the night settling between them. Azzi glanced back before leaving. “Goodnight, you two. Sleep well,” she said with a soft smile.

“Night,” Paige mumbled, quieter than usual.

When the door clicked shut, Paige immediately started cleaning. Azzi joined her without a word, their movements in sync, comfortable in the quiet. It felt natural—like they’d been doing this for years.

As Azzi wiped down the counter, she realized how much she liked this—the quiet, the ease of being in Paige’s space. It felt like home in a way she hadn’t expected.

Once everything was put away, Azzi grabbed her purse, ready to leave. But Paige lingered by the bed, watching her with an unreadable expression.

Azzi noticed. “What’s wrong?” she asked, setting her purse down again.

Paige hesitated, then exhaled. “You can’t stay a little longer?”

Azzi blinked, surprised. Paige’s vulnerability caught her off guard.

“It’s late, and we both need sleep,” Azzi reasoned gently. “The fitting’s at nine. And you know how grumpy you get in the morning.”

Paige groaned. “Then stay here…We can grab your stuff in the morning.”

Azzi hesitated, warmth creeping up her neck at the thought. But she nodded. “Fine. But I need pajamas.”

Paige tossed her an oversized T-shirt and shorts. “Here,” she said, heart racing. “These should fit.”

Azzi changed and slipped into bed beside Paige. Just as they settled in, Azzi poked her head out from under the covers. “I can only sleep on the right side.”

Paige frowned. “You… want me to move?”

Instead of waiting, Azzi crawled over Paige—right across her body. Paige’s breath hitched, her face burning as Azzi’s (plump) ass rose in the air. Turning her face the other way quickly as Azzi settled beside her.

“You okay?” Azzi asked.

Paige cleared her throat. “Yeah. Just… hot.”

Azzi chuckled. “Goodnight, Paige.”

“Goodnight,” Paige murmured, though her mind raced with thoughts she had no business thinking.

—

Paige woke first, the warmth of a body pressed against hers making her heart stutter. Azzi was draped over her, breath soft against her neck, leg hooked over her own. Paige wasn’t used to waking up like this.

She turned slightly, taking in Azzi’s peaceful expression, messy hair, lips slightly parted. It made her forget, just for a second, how they ended up tangled together.

Azzi stirred, eyes fluttering open. Realizing their position, she pulled back abruptly. “Oh! Sorry sorry,” she whispered, cheeks flushing.

Paige smirked. “It’s okay. How’d you sleep?”

Azzi rubbed her eyes. “Your bed is way more comfortable than mine.”

Paige chuckled. “Then we should have more sleepovers.”

Azzi laughed, grabbing her bag. “We’ll see. Meet me in my room when you’re ready.”

Paige nods, the word slipping out before she can even process it. “Yes, ma’am.” Her heart skips a beat at how easy it is to fall into a rhythm with Azzi.

Azzi flashes her a quick, teasing wink as she slips on her shoes and walks out the door. Paige watches her go, a heavy sigh leaving her lips as she immediately misses the warmth of Azzi’s touch.

But there’s no time for that now. She groans, pushing herself out of bed, not used to waking up at this hour. 7:30. It’s early. Way too early. But, then again, here she is—getting up at this ungodly hour for a fitting with Azzi Fudd. The things you do for love. Well, not love… but, something like it.

She drags herself to the bathroom, hoping a warm shower will wake her up fully. The steam clears her head a bit, and she quickly dresses in the Fenty set Azzi got her. Another perk of having such a famous friend. She spritzes on her Valentino perfume, the same one Azzi always compliments her on. It’s become a signature scent now, one she associates with the brunette. Every time she catches a whiff of it, she thinks of Azzi.

With everything ready, she heads out of her hotel room. Her key’s on the dresser, still resting where she left it. But, once again, she decides not to grab it. She’s gotten away with leaving it before, and frankly, she likes it that way. It means she gets to spend more time with Azzi. Maintenance might get mad, but—oh well. She’ll deal with the consequences later.

Paige walks down the hall to Azzi’s room, knocking gently on the door. Azzi opens it almost immediately, looking effortlessly chic in her matching Fenty set. Paige’s heart skips a beat, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“You ready to go?” Paige asks, leaning against the doorframe, trying not to let the excitement bubble up too much.

Azzi nods, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They walk out of the building, heading to Paige’s car. It’s a comfortable silence between them, the only sound the soft hum of the car as Paige pulls out. She glances over at Azzi, wondering if she should ask if she wants to stop for anything before they get to the fitting.

“Want to grab anything first?”

Azzi shook her head. “They’ll have breakfast there.”

As they pull up to the building, Azzi’s attention is drawn to something outside the window. She taps Paige’s arm a little too hard, making Paige jump.

“What? What?!” Paige says, looking over at her.

Azzi points, eyes wide with concern. “Look at that poor thing,” she says, voice full of pity.

Paige follows her gaze, spotting a small brown wiener dog sitting by the side of the building. Azzi’s face softens, and her heart melts at the sight of the little dog, alone on the sidewalk.

“No,” Paige says, shaking her head firmly, a small grin forming on her lips. “Not happening.”

Azzi pouts, her lower lip jutting out as she leans closer to Paige, her voice soft and pleading. “Please, Paige. Look at it. It’s so lonely.”

Paige rolls her eyes, trying to stay firm. “Azzi, this is the third time. You can’t save every dog.”

But Azzi’s eyes are impossibly wide, her pout deepening. She leans in even closer, nearly whispering in Paige’s ear. “Every dog deserves a home, Paige. Please… just let me take this one. It’s so cute, and it’s so alone.”

Paige groaned, already knowing she was going to cave. “Fine. But you owe me.”

Azzi’s face lights up, her joy so infectious that Paige can’t help but smile, too. Without hesitation, Azzi runs toward the little dog, crouching down to speak softly. “It’s okay, little one. You’re coming home with me.”

The dog wags its tail furiously, rubbing against Azzi’s hand. Paige watches, arms crossed, chuckling to herself. Azzi scoops the dog up like it’s the most precious thing in the world and turns to Paige. “Come on,” she grins. “Let’s go.”

With the dog in Azzi’s arms, they head into the building, the door swinging open behind them. They make their way to Azzi’s fitting station, Paige now with the dog in her lap as they sit off to the side, quietly eating fruit. Azzi’s designer arrives shortly, and the fitting begins.

As Azzi tries on different outfits, Paige’s attention drifts, unable to stop staring. She knows she’s supposed to be watching the fitting, but all she can think about is how incredibly beautiful Azzi looks in everything. She watches the way Azzi moves, how the clothes seem to fit her just right, the way her hair falls effortlessly over her shoulders. Paige can’t stop herself, even though she knows she should.

She absently scratches the dog’s ears, trying to keep her composure, but she’s failing miserably.

“Ugh,” Paige mutters to the dog, more to herself than anything. “She just… makes me so nervous. And I don’t get nervous a lot, you know?”

The dog tilts its head up at her, as if listening, but Paige doesn’t wait for a response. She’s too wrapped up in Azzi’s effortless beauty, her mind racing with thoughts she can’t even begin to process. “I mean, I know we just met, but you can tell me you don’t see the connection, right? I’m not crazy for thinking there’s something there?”

“Right, you’re a dog,” she continues, her voice softer now, almost whispering. “We just got you off the side of the street. What is wrong with me?”

She sighs deeply, the kind of sigh that feels like it could sink her into the floor. She doesn’t know what’s happening, but everything about Azzi just does it for her. Her legs, her smile, the way she carries herself—it’s all too much, and yet Paige can’t stop staring.

She can feel the heat rising in her chest, the way her body reacts just from being near Azzi—just from seeing her in these clothes. Paige is almost drooling, but she quickly pulls herself together, though she’s definitely not fooling anyone, especially not herself.

By the time the shoot wraps up, Paige feels something heavy in her chest. She watches Azzi cradle the dog, warmth in her eyes, and wishes—just for a second—that look was meant for her.

As they head to the exit, Paige checks her phone and groans. “Flat tire.”

Azzi glances over, unfazed. “Guess we’re taking the train, then.”

Paige sighs, but Azzi just smiles. “Maybe it’s fate.”

Azzi leads the way, the dog still curled up in her arms, as they make their way toward the subway station. The quiet between them settles comfortably, the low rumble of the train and the soft shuffle of the dog’s paws the only sounds breaking the silence. But for Paige, the air is thick with something she can’t ignore. Something she doesn’t want to ignore.

The train pulls up, and they step inside, the vibrations sending a slight tremor through Paige’s chest. Her mind begins to race, replaying all the moments they’ve shared—those casual, easy conversations, the effortless way Azzi could make her laugh. The way she smiled at her today, the way she treated the dog with so much care, so much love, like she genuinely cared about everything, everyone, in her orbit. And oh, god, the way she laughed.

Paige can feel it now, her heart racing, her palms clammy as she looks at Azzi, trying to steady her thoughts. This is happening, she thinks. She can’t pretend anymore. She’s felt this pull since that first encounter, when Azzi had sat across from her on the subway, looking at her like she’d known her for years.

She opens her mouth to speak, but they come out all wrong. “Azzi…” she starts, and her voice feels smaller than usual, maybe because this feels like one of the most vulnerable things she’s ever done. “Okay I— I know this might sound a little insane, but I can’t stop thinking about it. You.”

Azzi looks at her, brows lifting. “What do you mean?”

Paige hesitates but pushes through. “I like you. Like a lot. Since the moment you sat across from me on the train and I can’t keep pretending I don’t.” She meets Azzi’s eyes, feeling the weight of her own confession. “I just need to know if you feel the same, so I don’t end up looking like a lunatic Az.”

Azzi’s gaze softens. “Paige…” A small smile tugs at her lips. “I like you too.”

Paige blinks. “Wait. What?”

Azzi laughs. “I’ve liked you since… well we met, probably more since you made that weird face when I mentioned going out with KK.” She nudges Paige playfully. “I just didn’t know if it was too soon.”

Paige feels her heart skip a beat, and a rush of relief floods her chest. “So… you’d want to go out with me? For real?”

Azzi nods, that smile growing wider, reaching her eyes. “Of course, yeah.”

Paige feels like she’s floating, her heart doing something that feels like a cartwheel. She can’t help it—without thinking, she leans in, her lips brushing against Azzi’s in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s like the world has fallen away, just the two of them in that moment, exploring this thing that’s been quietly building between them. When they pull away, they both just… smile.

Paige can’t stop the smile spreading across her face. “Also I forgot my hotel key again…”

Azzi rolls her eyes, grinning. “Paige. Seriously?”

[lotusarchon]

I heard you write for POC? Could you write some sfw and nsfw headcanons of wukong reacting to the reader wearing waist beads, I don't think waist beads is very common in china so maybe it's his first time seeing them?

back to the kitty cause she's kinda pretty (sun wukong x reader)

content warnings: female reader, second pov (you/your), info gathered from wikipedia so may not be accurate completely, reader is of african descent (trini specifically because yes 🇹🇹), fluffy headcanons, sun wukong being curious as ever, nsfw headcanons, minors + ageless blogs DNI, gentle sex, p in v, cowgirl position, mild breeding kink

author's notes: okay so imma bfr right: this is the first time I've genuinely heard of waist beads, like ever, so Wukong here is a reflection of my own surprise and interest too

SFW;

𐙚 I can personally see Wukong being genuinely intrigued when you bring them up the first time. Mind you, he's never been beyond China and while he has borderline visited India on occasion, that really is about the limit he's done on traveling with his free time. So, naturally, his interest is piqued when you mention them.

𐙚 Wukong's the type of guy to ask you a lot of questions when curious. Though you haven't shown him the waist beads due to cultural reasons, he asks you a lot of questions, like what are their purpose, what do the symbolize, how are they made, etc. It's a good thing he has an amazing memory, but you have to pray he gives you a break between questions. (Which, knowing Wukong, might genuinely be never.)

𐙚 He gives you such a puppy eyed stare to see those waist beads 🥺 please show him, he's just so curious, and you love him, don't you? Don't you wanna show him your pretty waist beads? Pretty please?

𐙚 Dear god he's practically in awe. He wants to touch them so bad―he finds the uniqueness of the chosen gems and your favorite seashells handcrafted by your mother to be gorgeous. The way they settle against your skin and rustle when you move, gods he just wants to touch so bad, but at the same time, he respects you and wouldn't do anything that might make you sad.

𐙚 Consider him surprised when he finds out that in some cultures, the waist beads are intended to be seen only by your significant other. When you confirm he's the first, he is thrilled. To know that you trust him enough to show him…dear god this man is jumping up and down with utter glee. He is not shutting up about it and might also beat up anyone that asks to see it.

𐙚 If it was possible, Wukong would beg you to let him wear one too. He finds them cute and even aesthetically appealing, especially knowing that you don't need them to be all fancy looking or rich. Too bad he's not a girl…

NSFW;

𐙚 Watch him go from sad he can't wear one to intrigued when he finds out in (Igbo) culture, not only does a groom have to give his bride a Mgbájí (waist beads) to ensure her attire is complete, but it's pleasing to watch as the bride dances to her new husband.

𐙚 Well, you know Wukong. Till death till you both part, and he has zero intention of parting with you. You're both practically married at this, point, so wouldn't you love him enough to put on a dance for him, as good wife should?

𐙚 Of course, if you didn't want too, he wouldn't have forced you, but when you wholeheartedly agreed with his request, Wukong thought his dick was gonna bust through his pants.

𐙚 The way the beads looked against your dancing figure, your alluring smile…gah, did he mention how much he loves you? Because, he does, and once you're within grabbing distance he yanks you forward and smooches you so hard.

𐙚 Don't expect to have those waist beads removed, oh hell no. Wukong insists you keep them on, and while he strips you bare, he ensures they're not even hurt by his actions. He wants to see them on your body while he fucks you.

𐙚 His cock literally throbs inside you while you ride him, and the shift of your waist beads while his hands squeeze your ass and your arms are wrapped around his neck are enough to send him over the edge. It genuinely takes a lot for him not to just bend you over right then and there, because he likes watching the beads shift against your body while you bounce on him.

𐙚 Maybe it's your imagination, but you swear he mutters something about knocking you up? And getting you another pair of waist beads to match the one you were gifted with from your mother? Something about you being so utterly divine in this moment, the idea of stuffing you to the brim with his cum and having you as his wife forever and ever..?

𐙚 Long story short, Wukong gives you a baby and keeps his word about granting you another pair of waist beads with pretty flower seeds and shells. Yay.

@lotusarchon, 26.11.2024, all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!!

[fear-is-truth]

❛ THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES ❜ - K. WALKER

ⓘ love language : a person's characteristic means of expressing and experiencing love

꣑ৎ ‎ :‎ masterlist﹒꒱ note. hbd to the most beautiful boy ever !!

acts of service ➛ ˗ˏˋ his default love language. acts of service comes naturally to kit, though he’d never call it that. he’d call it being decent, doing right by you. he’s a man who feels responsible for the people he loves. “i got it, babe,” he says, already pulling the grocery bags from your hands. “you do enough.” even when he’s off the clock, he’s in motion—topping off the gas tank, tightening the screws on the back gate before the wind can tear it open again, fixing the kitchen drawer that kept sticking without you having to mention it twice. it’s not because he thinks you can’t handle things on your own—it’s because he wants to carry it with you. always. he’ll drive thirty miles for your favourite pie. he’ll build a swing on the old tree out back simply because you mentioned once, wistfully, that you always wanted one as a kid. yeah. that’s kit.

────୨ৎ────

physical touch ➛ ˗ˏˋ he’s a gentleman in public. old-school. hand on your waist, guiding you through a crowd. fingers brushing the back of your hand before he laces them together. a couple of chaste pecks on the cheek if no one’s looking, but anything more than that, he saves for private. and behind closed doors? oh he’s on you.

he’ll sneak up while you’re making dinner, press his chest to your back, hands sneaking ‘round your waist. press a kiss below your ear, nuzzling lazily at your bare shoulder, slow n’ messy. “m’starving,” he mumbles, voice thick with that boston drawl, roughened by cigarettes and lust. “and i ain’t talkin’ about food.” his fingers are already working at the buttons of your blouse. quick and practiced, like he’s done this in his head a hundred times since noon. which he probably did.

────୨ৎ────

receiving gifts ➛ ˗ˏˋ kit’s not materialistic. nope. he doesn’t care about fancy stuff. the shirt you bought him a couple birthdays back—he’s worn it til it’s practically threadbare. soft at the collar, fraying at the cuffs, but he won’t throw it out. he keeps that love letter you wrote folded in his wallet, and has read it enough times to memorise it creased at the edges from how often he looks at it.

he likes gifts that serve a purpose. even if he doesn’t know much about all the stuff you use, he paid attention and knows the brands by heart. bath salts for your cramps, the exact candle scent you like, body lotion that costs more than he thinks lotion should—but he gets it anyway. every so often, he’ll show up with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, wrapped in brown paper from the corner shop. and when he’s been putting a little extra aside (working longer hours, picking up side jobs) you’ll come home to a beautiful necklace or a pair of earrings, still in the box. “figured the prettiest girl deserved somethin’ pretty to match.”

────୨ৎ────

quality time ➛ ˗ˏˋ kit doesn’t need noise to feel connected. he’s content with just sitting next to you while you read, while he sands down a piece of wood for a table he’s making. he values presence—undistracted, intentional time together. he’ll put down whatever he’s doing if you need him. sometimes you two sit on the porch, legs touching, watching the sky fade. and that’s enough.

────୨ৎ────

words of affirmation ➛ ˗ˏˋ he’s not the kind of lover to go on and on about how much he loves you. his compliments come out in passing, like he’s thinking out loud. “you’re it for me,” he announces suddenly, eyes on the road, one hand resting warm and firm on your thigh. “dunno what i did right in a past life to deserve you,” he mumbles into your hair when you’re curled up in bed together, half-asleep. “–but i’m glad as hell that you chose me.” “you’re so smart,” filled with genuine admiration as he watches you. “hope our kids get your brain.” he says all of these things as natural as breathing.

but where it really pours out of him is when you’re beneath him. clothes scattered somewhere on the floor, hands in his hair. “fuck, baby, you’re perfect,” “look at you. goddamn.” “you take me so good, angel. so. fuckin’. good.” and when you’re spent, a little dazed, skin flushed with the post-coital afterglow, he kisses your shoulder, your neck, your mouth. “love you, sweetheart.” to him, the most sacred thing in the world is to be this close to you.

[yesimwriting]

Do you think whether Louis shares this past family at all?

I imagine it’d hard to talk about Claudia being that he doesn’t really acknowledge vampirism, and it plays such a huge part with her whole stunned body, the broken laws, and the coven. Not to mention Claudia took pride in being vampire and was phenomenal at it.

Also, I think about the conflict with his late human family. Paul’s death was crazy af, and the blame he got for it. The whole Graces’s baby thing. Him watching his family mourning his death.

I know he had to tell Daniel in order for the book to happen, but how much could he possibly tell the reader?

OMG what if she could create a painting with Louis and late (actually dead, not undead) his loved ones, that he either didn’t have a lot of photos of or they were lost in time.

Ohhhh this is such a good question/ask 😭 I've been thinking through their dynamic in relation to this for such a long time.

The painting idea are you kidding me 😭. That's such a great idea and something she'd definitely do/try to piece together based on any remaining photos and Louis's description.

Okay so, onto what Louis has told her. Louis has definitely told her about everyone/everything at least once. He trusts bestie reader sm and he wants her to know that, and also they're together so much it'd be kind of hard for certain things to never come up.

However, Louis isn't consistent with the level of details he provides. Bestie reader knows more about Lestat and Louis's fights and the complexities of their relationship more than anyone else. He's told her things about Lestat he's never even mentioned to Armand. Some of this is intentional, but sometimes it's just bc they're both drunk (or on other substances) and he's thinking about it and she's serving as an outlet.

Also, because I'm a firm believer that no matter how separated Louis is from Lestat, he still loves him, he talks about Lestat a lot bc it's the closest he can get to reader meeting Lestat. In some ways, reader knowing Lestat is this fantasy Louis has that he's incapable of acknowledging, but I digress.

Anyways, back to Louis's inconsistency in detail. Some of what he leaves out is because of his memory and limited perspective (kind of like what we see in the show), and other things are left on purpose. He's so afraid of reader seeing him how he sees himself, so he'd never directly address how he failed Claudia. For example, he'd tell reader about how Claudia came to be and the age that she was turned and how hard it was for her, but he'd never talk about all the ways that he made her existence harder.

Claudia is also a difficult topic for him to discuss with reader because while he doesn't see reader as Claudia, he sometimes sees a little bit of Claudia in her. Sometimes when they're really happy, Louis remembers the early years when things still seemed like they could work out. When reader wants to do things that make him nervous, he sees the ways in which he could have tried harder to keep Claudia safe. When the reader is happy and in her element (like at an art gallery), he sees what Claudia might have been.

He censors himself the most when talking about Armand. Partially because of how controlling Armand is, but also because of reader and Armand's dynamic. Armand's behavior around bestie reader is visibly different, he's more restrained, almost gentle. If Louis were to tell reader about some of the things Armand has done, she'd start seeing Armand as a monster, and Armand wouldn't feel the need to play nice anymore bc her mental image of him is already ruined.

Louis is not risking reader's safety and peace to tell her about things like Armand's torture era in the 70's.

Also, Louis isn't planning on leaving Armand so it's kind of like when the person your dating has seriously wronged you but you can't tell your friends bc then they'd hate them too much. AND reader would probably try to slap Armand or something if she knew everything, and Louis doesn't think Armand's patience with her will extend that far.

I think Louis is very back and forth on mentioning his family to bestie reader. Stories about them are, by far, the least dangerous, but they also make him think about things in certain ways. Sometimes it's weirdly healing to be able to tell her about the way that his family viewed him and other times it's nauseating.

I think he'd talk about Paul's absence the most, but he wouldn't delve into the details of what happened if that makes sense. Like he talks about his feelings over Paul's death, but he divides his emotions from the chain of events that caused them. Tbh that's how he handles most discussions of grief.

Okay, some new bestie reader lore that you have no way of knowing about because I haven't written it into existence yet that's super relevant to this question, but part of the reason that reader lets Louis get away with being relatively 'cagey' about certain aspects of his grief is bc she's doing the same thing.

Not to drop crazy lore here, but in my head, bestie reader lost someone important to her a little before she met Louis. In some ways, she feels similarly to what Louis feels, in the sense that sometimes she's scared that she's replacing the person she lost with Louis. However, her grief is much more plain sadness than actual guilt, and so she assumes that Louis doesn't want to talk about certain things because it's hard and not bc of vampire self hatred/guilt.

Louis also knows that there's someone reader isn't talking about enough because he pays attention to how she acts, but also because he can see into her thoughts. I do think he works hard at actively giving her mental privacy, but at times he gets really worried or her thoughts are particularly loud bc she's distracted or overwhelmed and he hears things.

So basically, to an extent, they're living in a mutual denial. I have an idea for a drabble/fic where this is forced to end and they talk about a lot of things, and if you'd be interested in that pls lmk!

Also, slightly off topic, but a big part of the reason he keeps anything from reader is rooted in a subconscious self hatred. Bestie reader is going to get Louis to love himself or die trying, and I'm so serious. As the story progresses, bestie reader is going to lock in and get Louis to feel less guilty about what he is.

He's actually so delusional, so convinced that any blunt conversation about vampirism could be the thing that pushes reader away. In reality, reader does not gaf about him being a vampire. She is generally curious about vampires, but she thinks everything about Louis is so much more interesting.

That's her Louis, and if she walked in on him actively draining seven people at once she'd just be like 'sometimes I need a late night snack too'. She'd actually become a vampire activist if it meant Louis would feel better about himself.

[nijigasakilove]

“I felt alive” I say every week, but the melancholic feeling this show delivers is unmatched. I’ve never seen an episode that had 19 minutes of no dialogue, but it only enhanced the experience. There were no words needed. Yachiyo’s facial expressions, the direction and haunting piano OST were all you needed. One of the best directed episodes of the entire season and a nice set up for our finale next week.

There’s something profoundly sad about Yachiyo reading the Ginza tour guide, an area in which she’s operated a hotel for centuries, and realizing she’s never even explored it. Her entire life has been dedicated to the purpose of running the hotel, even when she went to space it was all done with the intent of protecting the hotel. Today, this episode, was the first time we’ve seen her do things because she wants to without any obligation to anyone else. In many ways it’s the most powerful episode of the show.

Of particular note to me, were the scenes of her trying on different casual outfits, which of course she rocked very well because she’s gorgeous, but just seeing her gradually realize she doesn’t have to do the same thing she does everything and can switch up clothes. I also love the scene of her making a fire and the animals(?) gathering around. Yachiyo doesn’t need fire because she’s a robot, but she wants to feel the warmth and emotions humans once did. She’s choosing to do something for herself.

It’s also sweet to think this was all set in motion by Ponko who was once the annoying little girl running around the hotel and Yachiyo had to teach everything. Now, the teacher has become the student and Ponko who is a mother and wife has that sort of maternal advantage in terms of helping Yachiyo grow.

This was such a unique viewing experience and felt like an auteur episode more than your usual seasonal anime. Credit to the staff for conveying more than words ever could without a single bit of dialogue during that sequence. That’s the gold standard. Not ready for this to end 😢

[muniimyg]

OKAYYYYY MY THOUGHTS (I have so many of them)

first of all - this fic is a mf masterpiece

the tension, them being mean to each other and jk being a simp UGH!😩😩😩😩 I want him so bad

the scene where he asks her to feed him and I’m like this man is NAWT shying away and so he is THAT kinda boyfriend like.

and him not going to that function because “his girl” is sick. like I was shy reading this as if he was speaking about me🤣🤣🤣 and the dolphins book he finds - oc was such a cutie for that🥰

and then the scene where they Yk do THAT when he is wearing his glasses I FOLDED. I FOLDED SO BAD CAUSE HE IS SO HOT AND THWIR BED CHEM WAS BED CHEM-ING.

and then the jealousy era like girl why would you push his button like that but also valid cause walk him like a dog sis 😁

And then their talk and finally a man who has communication skills 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 cause real men just cannot🤓 at least the ones I have dealt which. Just like oc only had situationships😁 waiting for my jk now.

and then they started dating and everything is amazing in the world again😪💕

in all - a mf masterpiece like I said ❤️

you have done it once again.

Just a future drabble if you decide to do it - the gangs reaction when they found they are together 🤨🤨 jus a small little idea hehe

Also big props to you for writing this in a fic cause I can imagine how stressful that might have been plus you being sick. hope you are feeling better ❤️

also my take on ranking the kimi verse jk’s - ITS VERY HARD

fuck - bed chem jk (Obviously) but also like c2u jk cause laundry scene was insane 😭

kiss - aao jk or baby daddy jk

marry - baby daddy jk no questions asked

WE DONT KILL c2u jk in DIS HOUSE CAUSE HE IS SUCH A CUTIE 😭😭💕

ok lemme yap with u 🤝

tension/dynamic

i've been absolutely CRAVING to write a tension filled fic where they both want each other but don't know how to have each other. oh my god,,, did this concept absolutely scratch my brain.

i personally had to think for a hot minute abt their banter cos,,, yes, banter is 60% of their chem,,, but the stillness??? between them??? the way they react to each comeback??? how they look at each other or stand or sit too close??? how thick the air feels and how easy it would be to just have them kiss??? oh !!!! i really had to sit in their moment and intensify their feelings

the tension between them was slow with a sense of pressure... ugh. i really wanted to emphasize that their situation was easy. no one was stopping them from being together... but instead,, it was the pure fun of it that complicated things for each other. their dynamic is established since part 1. it's too easy to show the sudden change and honestly? unrealistic.

real tension,, real friends to lovers,,, is slow. awkward. it's this weird sense of uncertainty but also knowing and believing in them.

further, subtle things were so purposeful in each chapter imo. when i write fics,, i take a moment to think abut what each character has to offer the other/their specific traits. (my uni/college au's for example) deeper than what major i give them,, i think about their attitude and how it ties to to their little things.

for bed chem,, jk as a chem major was like a lightbulb moment for me because 1) it fit the title 2) it made it easier for me to write him as a grumpy nerd 3) it practically paints the picture of what kind of guy he is by all by itself... like, all i really needed to do was be specific with word choice and body language. being a part of the marine conservation club was like a hehe haha thing but also showcased his softer side (caring for the world and wanting to make change,,, etc).

meanwhile, oc majors in psych and she's kind of reckless. she's constantly tripping over her own feet and is unhinged for most for their banter... but she's intentful. she's good at talking around her feelings and her actions,, but she's even better at sticking to what she wants.

part 5 behaviour

because at this point,, they're together but not together,, jungkook tests the boundaries. they have a lot of unspoken rules so he does all he can to break them. oc,, doesn't really do much to stop him and i found it really important to decrease/limit her doubts because 1) the tutor thing wasn't really meant to be this whole trust issue thing 2) they have a lot of security in each other 3) the scenes where he skips the gala,, shows up when she has food poisoning,, when she had a hard day and he comes over to check on her ... it all shows the kind of friend he is and oc feels safe and secure in the man he is and how good he is to her

smut

ok i was realy nervous about this because 1) i was sick as a fucking dog writing the scene 2) i didn't want to disappoint 3) it had to live up to thefic title.

sometimes, i think i have to write these really wild scenes with position switching and insane dirty talk,, but because oc is a virgin... i thought it would be more fun to show her increasing interest to be intimate with him. the dry humping scene was HILIARIOUS to me. i thought it was a funny way of her exploring how fast jungkook would fold and the glasses part... yeah. i really like the way it led to their moment lol.

the actual sex scene i think turned out really cute. they have this... intense yet intimate energy between them. jk taking the lead but oc also knowing what she wants? the way they fuck and kind of just get lost in holding each other... the kissing narration?? learning her?? yeah. that tickled my brain. love the way oc has this playfulness during the entire thing,, meanwhile jungkook was losing his mind seeing her tits.

jealousy/communication

what's a kimi fic without her collateral damage hottie of the month ? first it was eunwoo/dex for c2u, mingyu for aao, and now it's dohwan for bed chem LOL. i think adding this and specifically my choice in who is coming in to play brings this relevancy into my fics that readers are able to laugh and relate to. brings connection yk!!

dohwan was so harmless ahahhaa. ngl, i think oc hearing jk fuck someone was like a "uh... omg. yikes.. i think i'm kinda jealous rn lol" moment but jk seeing a hickey on oc + being in a complicated state with her was a very "i want to die and i want you in the front row so you can see how much u hurt me and then i want u to cry over me,, only for me to beg god in the afterlife for another chance to live so i can comfort you" moment for him.

their communication/banter was such a big part of this fic. i think the plainness of their words held so much significance that after each line,, it felt like their tension would shift. again, specific word choice was really important. their banter and ongoing walking around their feelings was essential in keeping them (and readers) on their toes. their original ending was supposed to be this vague realization that they wanted to be together and the irony was that i wasn't supposed to write their smut scene and leave it as this tension filled open-ended fic,, but i'm glad i did what i did and gave them a definite ending.

some key lines i put into oc's dialogue was

"think i can do it? get you to want me?" to "i don't know how to have you" and finally; "i want you" was veryyyyyyy... premeditated. it gave this storyline through 3 lines and i really liked thatttt

the pavlov thing was funny as fuck cos again,, she's a psych major LOL. and the woof woof thing LOLLOLOL. very kimi core crackhead vibes

kiss, marry, fuck,, and kill;

you're so real and so funny for that HAHAHAA. protecting c2u jk fr cos that kid went thru so much chasing after c2u oc LOL

extra/ending note;

i'll think abt the extra!! i don't really think they have much left in terms of plot cos everything is basically all done... the friendgroup def knew smt was up but never said anything cos they mind their own business. i think it's pretty obvious as they 1) always sent oc to jk's room 2) teased them a lot 3) scolded them a lot esp taehyung

anyways,, u are literally the sweetest !!! i love receiving asks like this. i was afraid that ch5 would be too long and because there were so many scenes,, i felt like the significance of each one would be mushed up into one entire review/outcome. thank u for going into detail !!! i know a few readers say they read every word i write ,, so it's very rewarding to hear your thoughts with each scene and letting me yap from a writers/creative perspective

currently still recovering from being sick ,, finishing up my winter sem at school + preparing holiday related events for my preschool LOL. bed chem was so fun to write and i'm so incredibly blown away from the amount of love and support it has received in the past since i posted it. like... 1.7k already?? almost 1k on avg with each part?? uhhh... what the heck !!!

all in all,, i'm glad it fed everyones delulu mind. glad to know we're all ovulating together <3

i can't wait to share more fics with you all in 2025 😽💓

mwahh

kimi

[meisaer]

i think we gloss over the fact that mavuika knew she was going to die, was prepared to die, may have wanted to die, and capitano took that from her, too much.

personal take incoming, but i do think that Past Mavuika really believed the plan in the upcoming future would end up with her dead, and she counted on that. She didn't want to live in a reality without Hine, her friends, family, etc. She resurrected 500 years later thinking to just get it done, die, and be with everyone else again.

Yeah, Natlan's safety and endurance were her top priority (that's how she got into this mess in the first place). Did she ever think about forming relationships at all? No. Because she knew she was going to say goodbye anyway. She can put on a cheery face and sling an arm around a shoulder, but she's so moulded into being this perfect, non-human leader that she cannot open up. At this point, I think she's repressed her own emotions so much that they hardly exist anymore.

"she did not need to" yeah even she doesn't believe shes human everyone act surprised when she boils over and has a mental breakdown.

that's pretty much what's she missing for now. a breakdown. because as much as she tries to hide it, mavuika is human. or at least, that's what we're aware of. if we make it to endgame and there's no story quest, interlude, event, whatever that has her having to face her emotions i think i will have to sit down and say, she died alongside her friends those 500 years ago. this mavuika? the one who nearly killed herself and drinks beer every festival and can lift weights five times her size? yeah, shes actually not a human anymore. lifespan does not equal species. the reason everyone calls her mary sue/perfect/no-personality-archon is because up until this point we have NOT seen her fail or show much indication that things were out of (her) control*. we've seen her lose things (lose a lot of things), go through horrors, but because she's successfully managed to shove them all down, she doesn't seem like a normal, emotion-regulating human. because it should not be possible to have a mask so perfect that there is not a single crack on its surface. i do think this is intentional, if not only to contrast with furina but also with the other archons, but it also contradicts what makes her different from them. the fact that she is human. i think the irony was purposeful. the only human archon is flawless, perfect, completely non-human, where the actual non-humans have humanity. i like the idea**. i also understand why others would not. *this honestly could also be mavuika hiding her true thoughts/emotions from even the player's view as well. i mean, we know the devs are capable of hiding vital information (furina, many story quests, ect.). **it'd be sick if they reveal mavuika isnt really a human OR elaborate on how dying once and being resurrected with no one around her, changed her psyche.

also just a quick observation, she quite literally compares her heart to an "empty haversack" (bag). she outright feels nothing (?) and doesn't feel the need to tell anyone about it (but her denial/repetition also kinda implies that she knows it's not normal).

im interested to see further natlan events after the AQ. the ones we've gotten so far, do show mavuika slowly getting more comfortable with the cast and start getting more involved. very slowly. we'll have to see more from here.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Jeong Yoonoh (Jaehyun) Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: No facts, all alleged. This is my interpretation of the cards and energy I work with.

Now time to get to his perspective reading. I don't feel there is much craziness to him, but I thought I tap into his energy to see what he can give me. The song choice he gave me was Troy Sivan's Strawberry and Cigarettes. Sounds about right with how I think of him. Let's look to see what he can show me.

Hmm, these cards are a bit darker than I expected. Thought the dude was more on the vanilla, less complex side, sorry dude. Anyway, I am seeing shame here from the past, or regrets he may have had, maybe some disappointments as well. Maybe he ruminates over things that didn't go well or to plan as he may have liked.

I am getting him being splintered, a bit chaotic, erratic. I mean I say that because his energy is a bit that way, so many cards came out when I was trying to pull for him. Not sure he is that way physically, but more so energetically. His energy isn't as settled. There could be this lack of self-identity.

I do see him falling to addictive tendencies to escape, not sure what that could be. I do also get a sense of someone vain, and superficial. It is like he is a shell of himself. A bit void of character to be honest. It is like he might need things or people to feed his soul. But I see him wanting to self-deflect and not think of himself. I see him not wanting to do work on himself. He kind of lacks character from what I am getting. I am not getting a semblance of identity here. I think I did see others pick up on this, so this doesn't really surprise me.

This one card came flying out. It states show self-respect. I am not sure if he wants others to respect him and his boundaries and that is important to him. Or he likes to appear as someone who can be respected. Having a sense of dignity and having a well refined character. I don't see him liking to show too much vulnerability and emotions as much. The person on this card looks very stoic and unbothered. That is the vibe he likes to give off.

As I mentioned, he comes off pretty stoic. I don't see him standing for anyone's bullshit and he just comes off pretty neutral about things. I don't see him wanting to get into drama or being involved in it. His vibe is very blase, unphased by life, people, things lol I feel I am getting what I expected here now. He is pretty straight forward and standard here.

I am seeing once again, there is addiction in his energy, to what no clue, but getting it twice for him. There is a sense he can't control himself. It is hard for him to let go of what that addiction is, it could be a substance of some sort. But yeah, he needs to cut the cord, but hasn't really done it. This might be the thing that keeps him numb and zombie like to be honest.

That could numb out any trauma or difficulty he has dealt with in the past. Rather than face it and heal it. Substances may be used to repress and numb it allegedly. There is one card from this deck I made an intention to come out that would clarify if he does use substances and it popped out, so that is enough clarification for me, believe what ya'll want, but going with that.

There is something about mountains that are important to him, or something his ancestors built in mountains, not sure what this means. He may visit this place from time to time. Maybe being around the mountains could bring him peace and closer to his ancestors.

I sense his body may have been used for sexual purposes allegedly. There seems to be a disconnect from who he is or his physical body. It is like he dissociates. I am not sure if he ever felt truly loved and protected as a child and growing up, so there could be trust issues with others. There is a struggle to forgive himself or love himself. I am not sure he knows how to love himself or others. I can see him having hard boundaries and not letting anyone in. He has built a protective shield around him from further getting hurt by others.

It seems like he tries to find joy in everyday life matters. Tries to grasp to what he enjoys or what benefits him or what he can do well and work towards that to build a better life for himself. I don't see him wanting to dwell on things a bit too much. In this one card, the message states, I am tuned to those I care about, but it was reversed. I think he blocks any emotions or empathy for others, as he may feel well, no one tended to me, so why tend to others and just blocks any connection or empathy he may possibly feel for others. It is kind of like he needs to tend to his needs and not take on others.

Alright, time to close out with Tarot. His energy is very Earthy. All Earth energy cards here. We start with 4 of Pentacles. He is very conserved, controlled, reserved. He keeps to himself, and he is all about himself and his career and his money. I doubt he opens up or shares anything with anyone. He stays within the confines of himself. And as I mentioned very hard boundaries that are hard to penetrate. This is due to the lack of trust built early on. Hard to be open and be vulnerable when you had no one to depend on early on.

He is all about being safe and secure and protecting that. He is an ambitious person and highly focused on his goals and pursuing it and building as much wealth as he can. He is someone who prefers to depend on himself. I am starting to understand him and see myself in him. If you been hurt by others and no one had your back, hard to trust and depend on others.

He seems to be loyal to his work and his craft. That is about it. To people hell no. Not sure he has any close friends. I do hope he does, since we all need a good friend, but he seems to trust no one and with how shady people are in this industry and about themselves. I don't blame him. He is a stubborn man, very hard to crack or break. I see him being pretty honest and direct about things or just straight forward about things, and to the point. He doesn't seem like the type to beat around the bush or keep people guessing. He says how it is, nothing more, nothing less.

Okay, this actually helped me understand more as to why he is the way he is and why he is so shut off and cold. It now makes sense. He seems a lot more relatable for me. I am glad I did this to see his side of things. Bad behavior or how someone acts doesn't excuse them, but I am always someone who wants to understand the why to the behavior regardless to understand someone more fully.

Although, his behavior doesn't seem bad to me, but it can be off putting to some, but there is always a why behind it. This was actually more interesting than I thought it would be, sorry for stating you were vanilla dude. Just going off what readers have put out about him made him seem that way, and to be fair he is that way, but there is complexity to why he is that way.

[garakcore]

voyager has this thing i like to call "fuck-you planet episodes" down to an art. it's when a story asks a question of all its characters, and that question is, "you're on the fuck-you planet. suddenly you're dealing with things specifically designed to hurt you, and the more you struggle, the more damage is done. and no, you're not going to make it out unscathed. how do you survive?

it's like. our chief medical officer is a hologram and has some insecurities regarding his identity/perceived lack of it. here are a bunch of episodes about people imprisoning holograms, treating them as endless bearers of labor and not recognizing them as sentient beings who deserve rights, and often the endings of these episodes are, "no, it's not going to get better. the most you can do is escape with your life"

neelix genuinely being a good fictional portrayal of a trauma survivor who was and still is not a "perfect victim", and showing that trauma survivors should not have to be perfect victims to be cared for? here are the scripts. yeah, the ones marked with a big shiny gold star are the ones where he's forced to question his faith or his purpose in the universe, what the point is of being alive in such an existence that seems to only want him reliving and living pain... that's quite a lot of them? yes we know

"chakotay struggling with the idea that he's lived a useless life just because he's always followed his heart first, and that maybe people were right about him when they profiled him and viewed him as violent, unintelligent, and 'less developed as a person' because of his faith... wow. wow, does that suck for him. but luckily we've done our cultural research... yes, yes, we know. but no one will care if it's true or not, right?" the producers said

kes has spent her life lacking all agency, terrified of making the wrong decisions since she's spent so long with them forced upon her... okay, yeah, i got it! she's deeply infantilized in the narrative of the show, near-constantly degraded and feeling like she's just a side character in her own life, which is a frightening reflection on misogyny, ableism, and---wait. oh fuck. that wasn't the writers' intentions, i remember. shit

harry kim feeling sorry for himself, much? trying to befriend others because he's young and scared of being an outsider, of being alone and unnoticed for the rest of the voyage---for the rest of his foreseeable life? say no more! new episode! he's been replaced with a clone and the original him might be fucking dead, with no one left alive who knows the difference <3 either that or just, yknow, all of the original voyager crew are dead and he's the only non-clone left, and spends the rest of his life believing he was selfish for wanting someone to see him as an equal <3

b'elanna dealing with the effects of internalizing racism and xenophobia as a child? my hand slipped and there are now like 20+ episodes forcing her to answer the most hypothetical 'wouldn't it be fucked up' questions in order for her to learn to accept herself, and once when she believes it can't get worse, it always does, and she can't help but wonder why she hated herself so badly to make this be such a battle in the first place.

huh, yeah, we need to get some more characterization episodes for that tom paris guy. so anyway this one is about tom paris totally and completely believing that the only way his father will ever be proud of him is for tom to accomplish something of incredible measurable value and die in the process, because if he lives, he'll just do something to mess things up again

seven of nine being my genuine favorite ever fictional portrayal of a trauma survivor who was and still is not a "perfect victim"? well buckle up because that trauma? oh boy there's a lot of it and it builds and builds upon itself faster than the fastest it can heal. though the hurt of it will never show, it goes beyond expression

tuvok, the chief of security, is a vulcan telepath who- BOOM here's an episode about telepathy being illegal. and also not recognizing telepaths as people who deserve rights. and frankly, as his dis/abilities set him apart to such a great degree, he wonders why he is the way he is, too, and if he's a danger to others. and a danger to himself, but why doesn't that bother him nearly so much?

captain janeway's deep-seated fear of processing her emotions and losing control, not just losing control but letting down the people whose lives rely on her capability to make the right decision in a situation where sometimes no decision is truly right. so she tries to keep her feelings at bay because if she breaks down, all of their deaths would be on her hands- BOOM here's star trek: voyager

[gwynethshadowsinger]

My Thoughts about the Bonus Chapter(s)

Feysand - Happens around Ch. 22 (I think)

I do think everyone has spent a long time assuming Elain is sweet and innocent and that we will end up seeing a different side emerge when it's time for her story to be told. I think she's a lot like Lucien. Willing to stand back, but won't be afraid to step in and show that other side when needed. She'll access her surroundings beforehand, though, and act accordingly. Almost like a sly fox just waiting for their moment 👀

Feyre is right. If Elain had been wearing the gloves Lucien had gifted her the previous Solstice, she wouldn't have gotten hurt by that stubborn rosebush. Is this particular phrasing some type of foreshadowing for Elucien? Will Lucien protect her from any and all harm if she's just let him in instead of running away?

I loved finding out where the baby's name came from 😍

Azriel - Happens around Ch. 58/59 (I believe)

Poor Azriel. He just wants a mate and what Rhysand and Cassian has 😭

I didn't much care for his interaction with Elain. It felt wrong and off. He's full of negative, only sexual emotions, and him being around her is not good for him.

Azriel shouldn't be trying to go after a female who has not rejected the bond, especially knowing how he holds the mating bond in regard.

I also didn't like how Elain was willing to let Azriel kiss her so close to her (supposed) sleeping mate. Both of them were in the wrong here.

That rose necklace..... Elain was hurt once again by something with roses. This is the second time Sarah has mentioned her being hurt by something with roses. That's gotta be intentional on her part. Maybe Elain will give Lucien a chance now? I doubt she'd end up hurt by him. He's done everything to respect her and is just waiting on her to come to him. I really hope she does.

Rhysand asked all the right questions 👏

The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another. Boy... you couldn't even say Elain's name?!?! The Cauldron also only turned two sisters. Not three.... so he's already way off base....

Azriel admitted he didn't get far with his planning, certainly never behond the fantasies he pleasures himself to after saying Lucien would never be good enough for her...well that absolutely killed any lingering thoughts I had about a potential pairing between him and Elain. Yuck. I'd want a man to think of more than just sex and for his own sexual purposes. Lucien so far is the ONLY male good enough for Elain.

He'd been so vigilant about keeping away from Elain as much as possible, and had stayed up here to avoid her, and tonight... tonight had proved he'd been right to do so.

His interaction with Gwyn was 😍😍😍😍

I LOVE the shadow's reaction around Gwyn. How they dance with her breath. How they were calm and content to sit on Azriel's shoulders after something restless settled in Azriel. How they SUNG BACK IN ANSWER!!! If that isn't major foreshadowing, idk what is.

I'm insanely proud of how far Gwyn has came to.

Again...the necklace.... while I HATE he regifted it... I love this ending to the bonus chapter. How he found himself in front of Clotho, unconsciously.. almost like he was drawn by something 👀

He might not consider Gwyn a friend, BUT.... I say that might change in a big way.

THAT ENDING!!! The SPARK ✨️ The PICTURING OF GWYN'S EYES LIGHTING UP. THE TUCKING THE THOUGHT AND PICTURE AWAY DEEP DOWN WHERE IT GLOWED QUIETLY. THE SLIGHT SMILE THAT ACTION CAUSED THAT HE HAD TO CONCSCIOUSLY ERASE... OMG ARE THEY GOING TO BEMATES?!?!?!

A THING OF SECRET, LOVELY BEAUTY!!!! AHHH!!!!

These bonus chapters totally made me 100% an Elucien & Gwynriel supporter.

[truestoriesaboutme]

I'm seeing a lot of people who think Joy to the World ignores the character development of The Giggle and I don't think it does at all but to explain that we have to do something that it seems like no one wants to do.

Let's talk about the Bigeneration!

So what actually happened when the Doctor bigenerated? The text itself is very vague, which is probably for the best. You don't want to get bogged down in regeneration mechanics in the third act of the third act of your anniversary special. You're just supposed to feel it and move on.

But what actually happened though?

I don't mean in terms of the lore, necessarily. The lore is fun but ultimately subservient to the needs of the story. I mean, what happened in terms of the story and the meta narrative.

First, the meta narrative: Disney bought Doctor Who. That's what happened. More specifically, they bought exclusive worldwide streaming rights to any newly produced Doctor Who and nothing else. None of the previous seasons of New Who or Classic. And so, in order to sell it to new audiences on their services, Doctor Who has to, functionally, start over. They don't want to have a show on Disney+ that you have to go to a rival streaming service and watch 13 seasons of in order to understand. So RTD2 has to be, for all intents and purposes, a new show. Or perhaps more accurately, a new spinoff of an existing show that's also the same show.

But that's okay! Russell has done this before, back in 2005 when he created a brand new show that was also the same show. And back then, he dealt with Classic Who's previous cancellation by narrativizing it: it became the Time War. Don't know a thing about Classic Who? That's okay. That was before the Time War. So now that Doctor Who had to go through another backstage upheaval, it made sense to once again turn that into narrative.

This time it was a bit harder, though, because New Who was still going. So The Giggle had to function as a series finale for New Who while also being a backdoor pilot for the new spinoff which is also the same show. How do you do that?

First, you need David Tennant. Unambiguously the most popular New Who Doctor, RTD brought him back as the Fourteenth Doctor, a symbolic stand-in for the New Who Doctors in the same way that the War Doctor was for the Classic Who Doctors in the 50th anniversary. Throughout the 60th Anniversary specials, Fourteen carries the burden of every traumatic thing that happened to all of the New Who Doctors over the course of thirteen seasons of New Who. And so his story becomes about resolving all that trauma, about coming home to his best friend and retiring, about healing.

Meanwhile, all around him, the building blocks of a new television show are being pieced together, a new UNIT, a new TARDIS and a new emphasis on the supernatural.

And then it happens: bigeneration. A new Doctor physically splits off from the old one and, at that point, the show that started in 2005 is over and a new show has just begun. One that doesn't have to worry about the Time War or Trenzalore or The Flux or any of that stuff.

So based on all that, what does this mean for the Doctor(s) in the story? It means that Fourteen takes on all of the trauma of the last thirteen seasons so that Fifteen doesn't have to carry it. (Trauma, apparently, is carried in the trousers.) He retires and just fucking deals. Which incidentally, is why you're not seeing Fourteen helping out with world saving. It's not that he's just fucking around with Donna. Bitch, he's in therapy!

Meanwhile, Fifteen is the first Doctor since Seven to not have any Time War Angst. So, why is Fifteen still like that?

Well, have you even met Seven??

Trans writer Emily St. James has a great metaphor for finally dealing with gender dysphoria: it's like pulling up an old carpet and seeing all the stuff that was hiding underneath. When you finally get past the big thing that's been inhibiting your personal growth, that's when you're finally able to see everything else clearly for the first time and only then can the real work that you have to do on yourself truly begin. That's what's happening with Fifteen. He's finally able to deal with all the stuff that he couldn't even see because he was constantly having to deal with hitherto unheard of amounts of PTSD from countless universe ending apocalypses and companion deaths. Now he can finally work on self improvement.

And THAT'S what the Anita section of Joy to the World was about. About what comes next after recovery.

That and putting him in that cute Bob the Builder outfit.

[deoidesign]

if i may ask, is it difficult at all to re-edit/organize the comic pages from the webtoon format to fit the graphic novel format?

on another note, I'm so happy that your kickstarter was funded!!! I love time and time again, im so excited to see this all happen <3

I'll just turn this ask into something of a guide for the process! Because yes, it is difficult, but there are also many ways I have been preparing from the beginning for this very situation to make things easier for me!

I've worked in both print and scroll in the past, and have done this transition once before for a short story, so I already had familiarity both with my goals for print, and struggles with the transition!

How I prepared from the beginning for this transition:

1: My panels are 2500 pixels wide, so they can span my page (which is 8.3x5.8 inches) at 350 DPI (which is print quality)

2: My layers are organized: Text, FX, Foreground, Characters, Background

3: I draw one very large (twice as big as any panel would be, minimum) background for my major locations, as well as drawing furniture assets in isolation. This not only saves me time when making my actual episodes, but it also offers me INCREDIBLE flexibility when making this transition to print.

These 3 things let me pull the character art to the page by itself, scale it up or down to fit my panel, and then fill in the background behind the character.

So, I read the scroll version, decide how many and which panels I want on the page for the pacing (I also keep page spreads and page turns in mind while I am doing this), and then I pull those panels over from the scroll version to the page.

Then, I make the panel borders/page layout that I want, fit the character art into it, paste in the backgrounds, do any art editing that I need, add FX, and then re-do the text!

Sometimes I do need to draw parts that are missing (shoulders or elbows getting cut off is an extremely common one) and sometimes I need to adjust facial expressions, cut panels, or rearrange panels to make things read more clearly. Since it's my comic already, I know how to do these things while maintaining the original intent, but if I were working with someone else's comic I would need to work closely with them to know what can and can't be cut.

(original panel vs an expanded version)

Another common issue is that VERY tall panels will inevitably lose a lot of information when they’re turned to pages. Identify the purpose of the panel (pacing, showing a lot of detail, etc) and then replicate that with your page layout.

examples (in order) are: scene transition, being overwhelmed, suspense, and establishing shot. All of these were a single panel in the scroll version!

Another issue when converting pages is that panel order is a lot less straightforward than when starting from print format. Conversational back and forth that's fine in scroll often messes up the flow of reading in a page (characters facing out, not looking at eachother from panel to panel, etc) and so some creative solutions are necessary to keeping the reading order.

For the first page I had to delete and rearrange some panels, and in the second the dialogue bubbles guide us to read this page in a circle. (dialogue guides through a lot of my pages lol)

And the last really common issue that pops up is that height differences can be really difficult. Usually in print this is solved with clever angles, but I’ve already drawn everything. So, I’ll either resort to vertical shaped panels, panel pop-outs, or editing a character up or down to fit into the panel.

(examples in order)

So, yes, it is difficult! But I have a lot of experience with both formats, and having prepared for this from the beginning I've been able to make the transition a LOT more smoothly than I otherwise could have.

I hope this helps!

And, thank you about the kickstarter! I'm extremely excited I'll be able to print these, the proofs I've received so far look just absolutely stunning and I'm so so so excited to get to send them to people!!!

Obligatory self promo, if you want to see the kickstarter page and get these four books for yourself, then you can check it out here ^^ It's been funded, so at this point we're just reaching stretch goals and placing orders!