#I need my weird rainbow queen

[bright-eyed-pallas-athena]

One thing I love about this adaptation is how a lot of the side quests (for lack of a better term) have been tied more closely to the plot. The Arch is a temple of Athena they can seek sanctuary in - the Lotus Hotel is where Hermes hangs out and his driver can take them the rest of the way. It’s a subtle change but I think it’s really effective for driving the plot

[icyg4l]

PAC: May 2024 Predictions

Hello beautiful people! Later on this week, I will have a Five Dollar Friday Sale where any topic can be talked about. Please refer to my guidelines if you are interested in booking with me! Today, I will be giving you all some predictions about the upcoming month. I hope that those who resonate will continue to support me. For those of you who have been supporting me, I thank you. Without further ado, please select the quote that resonates with you.

Left-to-Right: (1-3)

Pile One: I am getting Taurus energy from this pile. I feel like you are going to be walking away from a situation that no longer serves you in May. It's going to hurt. But on the bright side, at least you are done with that chapter in your life. I feel like you are inviting new energy into your life though. It feels lively. I think that you need to be careful though if you go out to a hookah bar, or just go out into the nightlife in general. I am seeing that you will be going to a cookout. I am seeing the image of a thermometer's heat rising. I feel like you may have tension with someone that's super thick, lol. All in all, I feel that this month for you will determine the theme of this summer for you all. You got your wings, you've been promoted! It may be hard to focus on the positives because of your circumstances but you will survive. This month will feel weird because it’s like your on two ends of the spectrum. One part is good and the other is gone to shit, but all will work in your favor boo! See the good in life.

Cards Used: Page of Cups, Queen of Discs, Ace of Cups, 5 of Discs, The World, 10 of Swords, Justice.

extras: arrogance. cheap labor. pennyslvania. slabs. coney island. sweet! livelihood. perfume. body shapewear. antisocial club.

Pile Two: Idk why but your energy reminds me of Natalie Nunn lol. Not the messy parts but the part about her where she's unintentionally funny and fun to be around. Your energy feels very much party girl, I could easily get in this section if I wanted to type of vibe. Anyway, I think that you are going to be strengthening some platonic connections that you already have. But I also think that you're going to cut someone loose --- someone who has been around for a while. The name Harold comes to mind. Have you eaten Harold's Chicken as of recently, lol? I think that you're going to have sharper instincts as a result. You're going to see people for who they are. I am seeing the image of a butterfly flying on someone's nose. You will be growing up in the month of May. There is an emphasis on meditation. You're being called to devoting your time to staying in the present. You're being asked to go within and get more introspective. Also, cut back on the refined sugars. I think you'll be listening to Amaraae and Solange more often this month as well.

Cards Used: King of Cups, 3 of Cups, Strength, Death, King of Swords, The Hermit, Prince of Discs, 2 of Swords, The Lovers.

extras: big eyes. blonde hair. shapely. wiz khalifa. stunna shades. "i ain't going nowhere." "get comfy." gloomy. rainbow tips.

Pile Three: Someone in this pile is going to be reuniting with their family at a prom sendoff, at a graduation, a party. Either way, it will be a celebration. This pile will also be very grateful in the month of May. You are also going to have many opportunities to make quick money with the people that you love (not necessarily family but anyone that makes you feel safe). A love opportunity will be coming through for you as well. I don't see this as something you should take serious. I think you want to be independent right now, that person understands and they will give you your space for the time being. If you're trying to curate an event, don't worry too much about what people will think because it's going to be a big turnout regardless. I think some of you will be going to a wedding or will be getting married. So, congratulations to that! I also think that some of you will be meeting your future spouses in this pile (you won't know it yet though). Overall, I feel that this month is a great month for you to focus on community building.

Cards Used: The Emperor, The Hierophant, 9 of Swords, King of Wands, Justice, 3 of Discs, 8 of Wands, 4 of Wands, Ace of Cups.

extras: entrepreneurial spirit. aquamarine. blue butterflies. single father. "something cute, something for the summertime."

[venus-haze]

Kick It Out (Queen Maeve x Reader)

Summary: Maeve doesn’t date, for her own good and that of anyone she might be interested in. Teaching you how to kickbox definitely isn’t dating, even if the two of you do flirt every time you’re alone.

Note: Female reader with some references to being plus size, but not enough for me to designate the fic as such. No other descriptors are used. This takes place slightly before Homelander outed Maeve, but she still does a lot of internal shittalking about him. Hopefully I did well with her characterization because I’m already planning a follow-up. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Some references to homophobia Maeve’s experienced. Homelander vaguely threatens the reader to Maeve. Semi-public fingering, Maeve's kinda rough. Do not interact if you’re under 18.

It was a coincidence, really, when Maeve walked by Vought’s employee gym during one of the yoga sessions that was part of HR’s company wellness initiative. She’d forgotten Vought even had that, not interacting much with the corporation's rank and file on a regular basis and using The Seven’s exclusive gym to train. The employee gym was spacious, clean, and at that moment filled with dozens of Vought employees in a rainbow of athleticwear. Maeve could remember the old Jane Fonda workout tapes her mom used to put on in the mornings, how pleased she was with little Maggie’s rapt attention at the videos. You always need to keep your body moving, Maggie. It’s so important. 

Her eyes scanned the group lazily until they landed on you in the middle of a stretch that made Maeve feel like that little girl staring at Jane Fonda in spandex all over again. She licked her lips, giving you a quick once over before anyone could notice. You would become target number one the moment Homelander got a whiff she was remotely interested in you. Her fists clenched at the thought of how he–and her own complacency–ruined her relationship with Elena. She couldn’t do that to you, not that she even knew your name, and she wouldn’t learn it if she could help it. She wasn’t that selfish.

At least, that’s what she thought, until somehow she kept running into you. An interview here, a briefing there, she wasn’t even sure what you did at Vought exactly. It didn’t matter. You clearly hadn’t drunk the Kool-Aid, viewing your job as a way to pay the bills instead of the feverish devotion so many of its employees had. She started looking forward to seeing you, taking the opportunity to stand next to you when she could and exchange quips back and forth about how corny a promotion seemed or how weird the marketing team was. 

Like clockwork, though, you’d be in the employee gym whenever the yoga classes were being held. She casually brought it up one day, asking if you were really that into yoga, or just taking advantage of the free classes.

You nodded. “Yoga’s nice, but I’d love to get into kickboxing or something. I’m kind of nervous to sign up for a class. I’ve never done anything like that before, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up.”

“I can teach you,” Maeve said, the words coming out of her mouth before she could even think.

“Are you sure? That’d be great, but only if you have the time and everything.”

“Yeah, let me give you my number. It’ll be easier to plan that way.”

You handed your phone to her, and she quickly entered her personal number into your messages, texting a simple ‘Hey’ to herself. She hesitated a moment before giving you back your phone. Okay, this was for real. She was committing to it. 

“I’ll text you later. I’m free most weeknights, so just let me know,” you said cheerfully.

A sour mix of excitement and regret clouded her mind until you left, and as she walked down the hall to the elevator, she thought she’d at least have a chance to at least convince herself that it wouldn’t be that bad. She was never that lucky.

“Uncharacteristically nice of you to offer to help out Y/N,” Homelander said, almost as if materializing out of nowhere.

Maeve balled her hands into fists at her side. Why did he always have to be lurking? Recently, he had been fucking off to god only knows where, sometimes for days at a time. Of course he had to be around when she finally made a move. “I’m just full of surprises.”

“Your heart’s beating like a racehorse, Maeve. You’re not that excited about just practicing some kickboxing moves, are you? I’d be a better partner than her, in that case. You and I are practically indestructible. Her on the other hand—it’s amazing how fragile humans are.”

Maeve remained silent, letting out a shaky breath as she refused to acknowledge his taunting.

“You think she knows her sports bra is a size too small? I mean, one downward dog and her tits are practically spilling out of—“

“Get a grip,” Maeve snapped.

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s just locker room talk,” Homelander said, a menacing smile plastered across his face. “Speaking of surprises, I wonder what Y/N would think if she knew this was all a ploy for you to get into those tight yoga pants of hers. I guess I can’t blame you. Not exactly my type, but with the way you can see her panty line through them, she’s practically asking for it.”

“Asking for what?” she asked, standing taller as she looked him in the eye, daring him to make his threat. 

“Hit a nerve there, huh, Maeve?”

“Mind your business, and I’ll mind mine.”

“Well, you sure know how to pick ‘em,” he said abruptly.

She knew him well enough that it meant someone was coming down the hall, and he didn’t want them hearing a word he said. Scoffing, she shook her head as she walked away, trying to keep a brave face as she made her way to the elevator. 

Storming into her suite, she slammed the door behind her and threw the nearest breakable object at the wall before collapsing onto the couch, her head in her hands. Fuck. She’d been too obvious, too careless, and now you were going to be on the receiving end of it. Keeping her distance wouldn’t be fair to you, and it’d only put you in more danger when it came to Homelander. As much of a Girl Scout as Starlight could be sometimes, at least she was willing to risk it all for Hughie, even when he was lying through his teeth to her about Butcher and Compound V. At the very least, Maeve could do the same for you moving forward.

Still, she decided she was way too sober for her liking, and dug through her cabinets to find a half-drunk bottle of vodka, wanting to escape the gravity of the situation she found herself in for just a little while. 

The next day, she woke up a few minutes past eleven, her head pounding as she checked her phone. A few missed calls and texts, including one from you: ‘Hey! Homelander said you were sick. Hope you feel better soon💐’

Between the thought of Homelander being near you and her raging hangover, Maeve leaned over the side of the bed, throwing up into the nearby trash can. She got another text from Ashley, asking if she’d still be able to do her designated crime fighting schedule that night since she was supposed to team up with A-Train. Staring at the text, she grinned, getting out of bed to choke down a few aspirin and make her way to crime analytics.

The department’s office was depressingly dark, and the girl who nervously pulled up the schedule for the next few weeks looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Opening the notes on her phone, she quickly typed what days and times Homelander would be away from the tower. It wasn’t perfect, but it’d do while she figured out how to take control of the situation. 

Your kickboxing lessons with her began a little after seven on a Thursday evening. Maeve had asked you to keep everything under wraps, claiming she didn’t want everyone pestering her to train them. This was a one-off thing because you were friends. She was relieved at how your face lit up when she put it that way.

The whole arrangement made her realize how rusty she was at flirting with someone she was actually interested in, as opposed to the sleazy guys she’d bring up to the tower for one-night stands only to kick them out afterward. Training with you was great, you were eager to learn despite struggling to pick up some of the moves. She took the opportunity to stand close to you, putting her arms over yours and guiding your movements, her body framing yours. Sometimes her hands would linger over your skin, feeling how soft you were against her until she felt you shiver or heard your breath hitch. The physical, intimate closeness drove her crazy. In those moments, she wondered what your whole body felt like, your stomach and thighs surely plush beneath her fingertips.

Things came to a head during your fourth training session. Homelander hadn’t been at the tower for a day or so, and you were acting bolder. There was no way you didn’t catch her staring at the way you bounced around while Heart’s ‘Kick It Out’ blasted from the speakers you’d connected your phone to. She was sure you were doing it on purpose at that point.

“I think I’m almost as good as you,” you joked, beads of sweat rolling down your forehead.

She laughed. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Bring it on!”

Wiping the sweat from your brow, you stood across from her on the training mat. Your stance wasn’t the best, but you were trying despite her dodging your blows with ease. Just because she liked you, it didn’t mean she was going to hand you a win. You were having fun, a smile on your face as she caught your lifted leg before you could really kick.

In any other scenario, she figured you could hold your own pretty well in a fight with a non-supe. You threw a punch which Maeve blocked without so much as blinking. One more time, you went for another kick, only for her to send you flat on your back with a thud.

She pinned you to the mat, the two of you silent except for your breathing. Maeve didn’t do anything but stare at your face, just mere inches from hers for a few moments. God, you were fucking pretty. Your eyes seemed to sparkle despite the harsh gym lighting, and your parted lips were almost calling to her.

“You win,” you said softly from beneath her.

“Do I get a prize?”

“Wanna get drinks after this? On me?”

She smiled, reluctantly getting up from on top of you. “Hope you have your credit card ready.”

You took her outstretched hand, almost surprised at how fluidly she pulled you up onto your feet, until you remembered she was the strongest woman in the world, after all. The fact that she was getting drinks with you was a plus.

“I know a few places in my neighborhood, if you don’t mind going out to Brooklyn,” you said. “They’re kind of dives, but they’re fun.”

“That honestly sounds perfect.”

“Okay. I’m gonna shower and change really quick.”

She nodded. “Take your time.”

As soon as you disappeared into the locker room, Maeve looked down at her costume, internally groaning. It was the furthest thing from inconspicuous. In all honesty, she missed having a secret identity, the small thing that separated her from the persona that Vought manufactured for her. Whether for sentimentality or foolish hope of a situation like this one, she’d kept some of her street clothes. 

Glancing at the locker room again, she decided to rush up to her suite and throw on something that would afford the two of you some privacy. Tapping her foot impatiently, she waited for the elevator doors to open before slipping inside and pressing the button for her floor.

When she reached her suite, she frowned at the selection of clothing in her dresser. Touching one shirt, she felt a lump form in her throat. The somewhat coarse fabric sent memories rushing back, she’d worn it on one of her last dates with Elena, before she handed her whole life over to Vought and Homelander sunk his hooks into her. There was a slight stain on the sleeve, evidence of Elena’s wine glass that had tipped over when some asshole decided to make it clear that he didn’t approve of their date, so he had to make it the whole restaurant’s problem. When he started becoming aggressive, Maeve grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him over, knocking him into at least three other tables with the sheer force she used. That was the catalyst for her initially fake relationship with Homelander, as Vought’s marketing team decided it would improve her image after the incident. 

She exhaled, shaking her head as she tried grounding herself. Things could be different with you. She’d take back control of her life—from Vought, from Homelander, from her own self-sabotage. Her outfit choice for the kind-of-but-not-really date was simple. She ran her fingers through her signature styled waves, messing her hair up a bit to make her less recognizable. Seeing herself in the mirror, she smiled. For the first time in months, she looked and felt like herself.

Her phone buzzed, and to her relief, it was a text from you.

‘Hey! Ready to go when you are🍻’ 

Biting her lip, she retyped her response to you three times before sending, ‘Great be down in a min😄’ 

She instantly regretted her choice of emoji, but it didn’t matter, something that simple wasn’t going to ruin her night. After all, she couldn’t remember the last time she was asked out by someone she actually liked. You hadn’t explicitly said it was a date, but the tension was there, and Maeve hoped to god she wasn’t reading too much into things.

You were waiting in the gym for her, now changed back into your work clothes of a blouse and skirt. In the meantime, you had pulled up the info for some of the bars that you and your friends frequented in your neighborhood. She looked over them quickly, settling on a 70s-themed one you recommended based on the decor and cheap burgers. Her mind raced while the two of you walked down the hall and to the elevator, deciding to leave through a service corridor rather than the building’s main floor.

As the elevator made its descent to the lower levels of the building, Maeve figured she at least owed it to you to let you know what you were getting yourself into. She’d already put you at risk with the amount of time she was spending with you. You looked at her in confusion when she pressed the emergency stop. 

“You know this isn’t just drinks, right?”

You smiled a bit, “What is it then?”

“Y/N, I’m serious,” she said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Maeve, can you just be real with me instead of the cryptic shit?”

“Fuck," she groaned. "Okay, look. I’m into you, but Homelander’s a jealous son of a bitch who won’t let me have a life, so the fact that we’ve been spending time together and going out for drinks means you’re in serious danger.”

You were quiet for a few moments. She took your silence as an understandable rejection, moving to press the emergency stop button to bring you back up until you spoke. 

“I’ll take the risk.”

“Are you sure? Y/N, Homelander won’t hold back. I’ll do what I can to protect you, but–”

You looked at her, really looked at her, as she laid out the risks for you clear as day. It didn’t matter. You’d come to the conclusion pretty quickly that she was worth it. She was Queen fucking Maeve for Christ’s sake. Most importantly, though, you were into her too, and you’d never forgive yourself for passing up the opportunity to go out with her and see where things led.

As she was in the middle of listing ways Homelander could kill you, you interrupted her with a quick peck on the lips, enough to startle her out of her rant for a moment. That seemed to get the message through, because she kissed you, backing you into the elevator wall across from the closed doors. 

You parted your lips for her, happy to let her take the lead as she cupped your cheek in her hand, her fingers pulling your face closer to her. Even though she’d just pinned you to the floor less than an hour earlier, you were taken aback by how strong she was. She bit gently on your bottom lip, her teeth tugging at it before kissing you again. 

Groping one of your breasts through your blouse, she moved her hand further down your body until she reached your thighs, her fingers gently tracing undistinguishable patterns into your skin. You could feel her start to play with the hem of your skirt before sliding her hand beneath it.

You whispered a soft “yes” against her lips when her fingers brushed against the damp spot on your panties. Pressing her fingers against your core, she watched your face contort in pleasure as you whimpered for more. 

It felt like eternity before she finally pushed her hand past the cotton material and began teasing your clit, ignoring your aching pussy. She pressed hot, open kisses against your skin before settling on the crook of your neck, biting into the tender skin so hard you almost thought it would break. 

“Maeve, fuck,” you moaned.

“Too hard?”

You bit your lip, shaking your head. “Harder.”

Maeve grinned, slipping her index and middle fingers into your pussy, and you were almost embarrassed at how wet you were. She didn’t care, curling her fingers inside you, pumping them in and out until your breath caught in your throat. You gasped as you gripped her shoulders, trying to keep your legs from giving out from under you. Using her other hand, she held you up by your thigh, her fingers squeezing your soft flesh. 

You leaned your head back against the wall, eyes fluttering shut as she began rubbing her thumb against your clit, bringing her attention back to it as your pussy clenched around her fingers. She brought her lips to your ear, her teeth grazing your earlobe before she whispered, “You gonna cum for me, baby?”

“I’m close,” you barely managed to say.

“Don’t hold back. I wanna feel you,” she said, her voice raspy as she squeezed your thigh for emphasis. 

“Fuck–fuck, I’m–”

You came on her hand, fully relying on her strength to keep you up as she kept fingering you through your orgasm. Pressing her lips to yours, you were hardly able to kiss her back as you moaned into her mouth, your fingers clawing at the wall behind you as you tried getting a grip on something.

Finally, she pulled her hand from your pussy, and the one that had been holding you by your thigh wrapped around your waist to support you. She brought her hand to her mouth, licking your juices off of them so casually you wouldn’t have thought anything of it. You kissed her again, feeling lightheaded at the taste of yourself on her lips. Still, you figured someone must have noticed by then that the elevator wasn’t working. You didn’t even want to think about anyone finding you and Maeve like that, especially if Homelander ended up hearing about it through the grapevine.

“My roommate’s working the night shift,” you whispered, your voice noticeably hoarser than before. “I’ve got beer at my place.”

“Fuck the bar,” Maeve said, kissing you again.

You let out a yelp that dissolved into a fit of giggles as she literally swept you off your feet. She smiled, pressing the emergency stop button, sending the two of you back down to the service corridor you’d be slipping out into the night from.

[margaret-the-duck]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟIntro post*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

"Writers aren't exactly people... they're a whole bunch of people trying to be one person" - F. Scott Fitzgerald

hello I'm Maggie :)

basic infos: she/her, scorpio, minor, bi and ace, goblin/hobbit core, wanna be writer, chaotic, has far too many projects at the same time, anxious mess, always confused, lost in fantasy worlds, gets really emotional when a long fanfiction updates the last chapter, tea enjoyer, member of the moss cult, wants new friends but is too socially awkward :,), can't hold a conversation (sorryyy), english isn't my default language so my phrasing might be weird

bands and artists I like: queen, ABBA, david bowie, red hot chili pepper, conan gray, nirvana, bon jovi, movie music in general

"Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you" - Freddie Mercury

Food I like: Strawberries, Cereals <3, any dessert, pasta and pizza, chicken nuggets, ananas (but not on pizza), cheese, chocolate, croquettes, anything with chicken

things that make me happy: my friends/family/girlfriend, music, my fandoms, my OTPs, raccoons, cats, my comfort characters, crocheting, creative things in general, braids, the netherlands, acorns, flowers, books, greek mythology, hugs, rainbows, character inspired playlists, owls, goats, frogs, lotr ambience playlists, walking through a forest (especially in spring and autumn)

my fandoms: lord of the rings, the hobbit, percy jackson, marauders, gravity falls, mcu/marvel, night at the museum, star wars, carry on

"I've never been so wrong in all my life" - Thorin Oakenshield

currently reading: circe, rereading the hobbit

comfort books: percy jackson, the song of achilles, carry on

"Being a hero doesn't mean you're invincible. It just means that you're brave enough to stand up and do what's needed." - Piper McLean

comfort movies and series: lord of the rings, the hobbit, anything from marvel but especially the guardians of the galaxy and ant man, night at the museum, gravity falls, monk

"There's some good in this world Mr Frodo, and it's worth living for" - Samwise Gamgee

languages I speak (more or less) : luxemburgish (don't ask what it is. barely anybody knows that language lol), german, french, english, currently learning spanish

things I do when I'm not just starring at my bedroom wall: baking for my friends, crocheting, designing clothes based on fictional characters, daydreaming about writing, wasting my time on pinterest and ao3, writing, reading, thinking of fake scenarios, listening to music, writing bad poetry

"I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind the process" - Vincent van Gogh

[bloodyshadow737]

The cure? Or a curse=part•1

Masterlist of everything

Masterlist of this

Next chapter→

Matching: Rick Grimes x male reader

•English is not my first idioms so if you found something wrong I would appreciate that you notified me

•i don't know if some one already make this but I'm gonna make a series with this topic because is have so much potential, and this episode is lore for reader so if you don't want you can skip it but it give you the origin of him

Warning: mention of kidnapping, blood,

The beginning of the most traumatic experience are not in a dark corridor or a abandoned building, it begins were you don't expect

Day 1 - 0 infections

The hospital is more crown for usual, but actually in series always show you the hospital's with a lot of people on it, is not always like that. Getting the food cart around the rooms was something a little bit satisfied, you can talk with the patients and make them get better by some company especially with the old people.

Getting inside the room you found Miss Norris, already complaining with the IV because she can't handle to watch herself with it, what a drama queen you love her.

"Now now miss Norris, what I tell you about touching your IV?"

The old lady get his hands out of the IV making some complaining noises getting some laugh from you.

"Ugh! This thing is so annoying!"

Walking to her you hold his arm passing your fingers on top of his IV trying to calm her nuisance

"I know you don't want to be here and be with you granddaughter but first you need to get better, now, I know you don't like the hospital food so me and my daughter get you some pancakes"

Getting the plate in front of her you show her the pancakes you made with your daughter they are different colors ,suggest by your daughter she thinks that he hospital people need more colors in the place, so they look like a rainbow tower. Miss Norris watch this excited by eating something delicious, she grab the fork starting to eat this happy meanwhile you started to register how her doing until today.

"Mmmmm~ delicious tell you daughter that she is adorable"

"Ha ha she is, she wanted to make different flavors but we didn't have the fruits for it"

Miss Norris laugh getting alf the food and you finish to register everything.

"Well miss Norris, everything is looking good so maybe tomorrow you can leave"

She smile and move a hand to hold yours with a sweet affection

"Tanks Y/N"

Day 2 - 0 infections

It look like some police men get shot, is family and partner are in the waiting room, they look so devastated. Getting closer you get them three can of coke the kid got it excited and start drinking this with notorious anxiety, you smile to him trying to calm him.

"Don't worry kid, your papa is gonna be okey"

You tousle his hair making him smile, the mother smile grateful by your help, you watch her smiling now getting one hand in his shoulder.

"Everything is gonna be alright, the doctors are capable to save him"

The woman smile and get tne hand on top of your appreciating your words

"Tanks"

The police get fine from the operation but the men get intro a coma, the situation is horrible for the family but the important is that the men is okey. Watching him closer you get trapped a little bit by his face, it doesn't look so bad.

You get the serum to the men watching how the kid doesn't move his eyes from you, it look like the kid is looking high of you like a big brother or something.

The moment is interrupted by doctor coming in the room talking to you.

"Y/N I need to talk to you"

Nodding to her you get out of the room to her starting a talk with her.

"You seem to be doing fine in the hospital"

Weird

"Um yeah I been working here for years"

"That is not what a means, I mean by your health, you been doing okey? You been eating fine?"

Ho, is that what she mean

"I been doing okey, why you asking?"

You didn't notice that you were alone with her, if you had paid more attention maybe you could prevent everything.

A oxygen tank impact in your nape knock you out to the floor getting you unconscious

"No reason at all"

The doctor leave the tank and grab you by your legs starting to get you in a operation room.

"Tanks for offering yourself Y/N"

[divijohm]

I saw the babysitting headcannons thingy and well gotta help out in the requests right? Imagine the reader as a proxy but they're part bee, just bee wings and antennas buzzing arounr after the others. For the proxies perhaps? (Masky, hoodie, toby and kate the chase) we need more kate appreciation

Imma mark myself as anon🌱 so you'll know 😌

Drinking and eating is key to energy :)

Reader is a proxy and half Bee creature

Kate, Masky, Hoodie and Toby

A/n: HI 🌱!! OMG is been AGES since I heard of Kate, she do deserve more appreciation. Also this prompt of the reader beeing (omg jokes I'm so funny) part bee is so interesting!!! I LOVE bees I find their organization sistem so cool and honey is so tasty and the way it can have a huge variety just because of the place the bee hive is, is all so Fascinating. I ended up focusing more on the bee part 😅 but I tried my best to include all 4 proxys in this I really hope you like it :3

🐝 When you first arrived in the mansion, the proxys got a little weird out, they are not normal in the least but is rare to see a huge bee-like person walk in like nothing is wrong. But after some time they warmed up to bee with you I'm so funny please laugh

🐝 You can make honey. No, I'll not elaborate on how or why. But now every breakfast the proxys make you give them fresh honey to enjoy through the day

🐝 You're part queen bee, because if you were part worker bee/male bee you wouldn't survive that long (only the queen bee can survive the winter, worker bees die of cold and male bees die soon after mating with a queen in the begging of spring). That being said, you have the hability (like a real queen bee) to order around bees. Even if they have a queen, your sent is stronger so they see you as more worthy.

🐝 Slender likes the way you make your kills look accidental is just so practical and avoids the police getting involved. Bees attacking someone isn't a crime, just an accident so no consequences for you 💛

🐝 Did you know bees can kill things by surrounding them and flapping their wings to rise the body temperature of the pray? You can do that too but not to the point of killing a human, you can heat them enough to make them pass out. It makes kidnapping much easier, Masky and Toby appreciate it.

🐝 When you get exited you flap your wings making that bzzzz noise. Masky finds it annoying.

🐝 Toby really like your antennas he finds them cute and if you let him, he's going to play with them

🐝 Hoodie likes your wings they have an interesting pattern and when the sun shines through them it sometimes makes rainbows, he likes photographing them

🐝 normally, when you need to go on group missions you get paired with Kate, although she prefers to work alone she doesn't mind your company that much, you're "useful and smell like honey" in her words. You get along well.

🐝 One time you decided to spook Masky by jumping on him from behind. Too bad he had an Insecticide on hands and sprayed it on you, you almost died and decided to never do this again. Kate and Toby Laughed a lot

🐝 You're "abelhuda" (a Brazilian Portuguese word that means you're too curious and like to put your nose where it doesn't belong, comes from the word "abelha" witch means bee) so more often than not you find yourself in the proxys room just looking for things in there without any purpose, just because you can. Masky started to lock his door because of that although it didn't stop you.

🐝 Funny enough, you're allergic to polen

🐝 When you're bored you like to follow Hoodie around, you don't talk with him or anything. You just, follow him to wherever he goes. In the beginning he found it super weird but now he just don't mind.

🐝 Kate has a bee allergy, so you do her a favor and keep bees far away from the mansion. She appreciates it

🐝 You and Kate listen to classical music together.

[enemyoflactose]

I finished Noah's Arc

My descent into villainy begins.

@lostsomewhereinthegarden wanted to be tagged in this one 💕

Voice acting:

I have no clue what any new characters sound like in the sub, so this 4kids performance only.

Noah: round of applause he sounds fantastic.

Gozuburo: he needs to sound more like he smokes

The Deep Sea Warrior guy: I forgot what he sounded like

Crump: he sounds weird

Johnson: Why is his voice so deep? Why is it so deep? He sounds like a big scary monster.

The robot: I wasn't paying attention to him

Lector: nice. I like his voice.

Dark Magician Girl: it's really annoying for some reason.

Flame Swordsman: hot voice

Serenity's deck master: I don't like it.

Characters:

Yugi: that sure is Yugi. He gets more screentime than usual and that's a nice change. I love his interactions with Téa after her duel, he's so sweet it makes my dumb shipper brain go crazy.

Yami: he sure does duel. He insults Noah a few times, and is mean to Kuriboh in his first duel.

Téa: QUEEN. If Kaiba didn't exist this would have been her season.

Joey: That sure is Joey. It killed me every time he thought of Mai. Bro wants her back so badly.

Tristan: he was robbed. He deserved to duel again.

Duke: this man is so fucking rude like what the hell? I love him tho he's funny and silly.

Serenity: this poor girl blames herself so much. It was not her fault that Tristan died. It was 100% Duke's.

Seto Kaiba: why is he like this? He's so cool.

Mokuba: precious baby wanted to forgive Noah so badly. He said they were family. He said Kaibacorp would help build him a robot body and they could be twins. I'm crying.

Noah: Why was his backstory handled better than the Ishtar's? Why? This is a filler character and I felt worse for him than Marik. Maybe it's because he's a better duelist idk.

The big five: they exist

Gozuburo: his love for Noah was so conditional, I hate this man. I'm glad he's dead.

Important note

Deck Masters are a thing. I like the idea of them.

Duels

Duel 1 - Yugi vs Gansly

Yugi chooses Kuriboh as his deck master and is upset about it because it was an accident.

Gansly is his own deck master.

Most of the duel is Gansly explaining the rules to Yugi and using cards that either don't exist, or are really bad.

Yuugi wins using Kuriboh, Rainbow Bridge, and Gaia the Fierce Knight to attack Gansly directly.

Duel 2 - Téa vs Crump

There was so much Téa fan service in this duel and before this and after this duel. It would have been distracting if this duel wasn't hype.

Téa picks Dark Magician Girl as her deck master, and Crump uses himself/Nightmare Penguin as a deck master.

Crump uses Penguin cards and cards like Cold Wave (Rest in Peace King) to gradually turn Téa into an ice sculpture.

Téa uses cards like Maha Vailo, some equip spells, and Mirror force to help herself, but due to still being a beginner mirror force gets destroyed.

Téa is getting guidance from Dark Magician Girl on how to duel, and ends up using Sage's Stone to special summon Dark Magician.

Téa wins the duel.

Also, Crump wanted to build a penguin themed amusement park, but that's not important.

Duel 3 - Joey vs Johnson

Joey stumbled into a court room after thinking he found his way back to the blimp. He was tricked by Johnson who was pretending to be Mai.

Joey's deck master is Flame Swordsman and Johnson's is Judge Man.

During this duel, Joey is using his deck master's special ability to raise his monsters attack points, but then they all get destroyed.

Now Joey is putting his faith in his gambling cards, but Johnson is cheating and making it so Joey can't use them

Noah catches this and calls out Johnson, but Joey says it's fine as long as he doesn't cheat anymore.

Joey ends up winning.

Duel 4 - Tristan, Duke, and Serenity vs Nezbit

I wasn't paying attention to this duel until Tristan died.

I still wasn't paying attention after he died.

Duke and Serenity win, but Nezbit got to take control of Tristan's body and now Tristan is Robot Monkey Tristan.

Duel 5: Kaiba vs Lector

This duel was too short.

Lector's deck master is Jinzo and Kaiba's is Lord of D.

During this duel, Lector is using cards like Jinzo and Imperial Order to make sure Kaiba can't use spells or traps. He also uses Injection Fairy Lily. I miss her. I miss my Lily.

Kaiba catches on to Lector's plan and makes him lose too many life points to keep Lily and Imperial Order on the field, then he summons Blue Eyes White Dragon and destroys a Satellite. I'm pretty sure 4kids censored this scene, because there was a weird jump cut from Blue Eyes attacking, to the debris falling.

Duel 6 - Joey and Yugi vs The Big Five

The big five are using Tristan's body to duel, and they're doing alright with early Umi Control. Then Johnson ruins it.

Yugi and Joey fuse their deck masters The Big Five fuse their deck masters.

Uhhhhhh

Yugi and Joey win and we never see the Big Five again.

Important stuff that happened

Mokuba got kidnapped and brainwashed.

Kaiba and the gang found out that Noah was Kaiba's step brother.

Noah is being really creepy to Mokuba.

Duel 7 - Yugi and Kaiba vs Noah

This duel is so long

Kaiba is really trying his best and is kind of winning, but Noah is reciting the Bible and using Mokuba as a shield so Kaiba loses because he is a hardcore reddit atheist and loves Mokuba.

Yugi calls Noah a hypocrite and combines his and Kaiba's deck.

Kaiba and Mokuba are turned to stone at this point.

Yuugi keeps talking shit and then Duke gets turned to stone. Nothing of value was lost.

Noah has to activate his deck master's second ability because Yugi destroyed the first one, and now Yugi has to fave Shinatu or whatever his name was.

Noah keeps raising his life points and he's using Spirit Monsters

My honest reaction to spirit monsters.

At least we saw Yatagurasu.

Noah is turning Yugi's friends to stone every turn, but Téa gets to stay alive for one more turn because she's just cool like that.

Yami summons all three Dark Magicians that he has ,but Noah destroyed all of them.

Then Yami summons Blue eyes and wipes out Noah's life points.

Yugi won and Kaiba wasn't happy that Yugi used his deck.

Duel 8 - Kaiba vs Gozuburo

This duel was also too short.

Gozuburo has Exodia and it gave Kaiba PTSD.

Kaiba has to send all 5 pieces of Exodia to the graveyard so that Gozuburo can summon Exodia Necros.

Necros is invincible and Kaiba's all like "You still take damage dumbass"

Gozuburo raises the attack of Necros, and Kaiba banishes (or puts them back in the deck I forgot) the Exodia pieces that were in the graveyard.

Kaiba wins and Gozuburo tries to take over his body anyway, but Yugi saves him.

Important stuff that happened

The squad was looking for an exit with Noah

Noah was told he was disappoinment so many times.

Mokuba accepted Noah as part of his family

Noah went to the real world to help the gang get their bodies back.

The island is about to explode.

Téa, Tristan and Serenity get their bodies back first

Then Duke and Joey

Then the rest of them.

Noah traps Gozuburo in Cyber space.

The island exploded

The End

[little-pup-pip]

Just curious, what requests do you have in your queue/to do currently? If you're ok with saying it that is :]

Oh boy, that's a bigger question than last time someone asked! I have over 200 waiting requests at this point!! Because of that this got very very long, so I put the rest under the cut! Like last time, this is in order of how recently I received the request, and doesn't mean I'm too busy to take new requests!!

Ibara saegusa (enstars)

Monochrome oranges cats and angels

Gloomy bear

Another rockruff (maybe)

Cult of the lamb (specifically the lamb)

Llewellyn Watts (Murdoch Mysteries)

Jake (trailer park warlock)

Cult of the lamb (pet dreaming themed)

Bear therian

Selkie

Ice bear (we bare bears)

Tubbo (maybe)

Snow leopard

Pink

Australian shepherd (pupre)

Cassie (fnaf: ruin)

Draik (neopets)

The rainbow fish

Black kitten + space

Pumpkin head (maybe, needs more research)

Alice in wonderland

Sheep

Someone's OC Avery & siblings

Gothic

Star catcher (MLP)

Masc version of my druid board

Scrooge CG (2009 film)

Beetlejuice

Superstar daycare (fnaf)

1950s + ocean

Pandas + light purple and black

Dandelions

Willy wonka CG (recent movie)

Maki Harukawa (Danganronpa)

Kidcore Halloween + pumpkin puppy Webkinz

Fruit bat

Mermaid

Pastel purple + pandas

Robocar Poli

Brown, lime green and forest green puppy

Weird Barbie CG

Shiny Vaporeon

Where the wild things are

Squid

Dylan (the magic roundabout)

Conner CG (Detroit become human)

Mitsuri kanroji (demon slayer)

Minecraft mooshrooms

Sharks or wolves (haven't decided)

Hot Wheels

Miffy

Fox

Sharks

Zombies

Vincent (dead plate)

Vintage kitty dreaming

Deadpool

Shane CG (stardew valley)

Wolf pup

Celestia and Luna (MLP)

Soft blue and yellow

Pascal (animal crossing)

Pastel blue and pink

Batman CG

Ram

Osamu dazai (bungo stray dogs)

Dylan (the quarry)

Rain/nature + white rabbits

Ox

Penguin + dinosaur

Noah (total drama island)

Vision CG (marvel)

Light blue

Bumble bees + lavender

Yellow + ducks

Bearded vulture

Barn owl

Queen barb (trolls world tour)

Oliver (vocaloid)

Light green light brown and beige

Mind (Chonny Jash/CCCC)

Cinnamoroll + emu otori (project sekai)

Yellow+ chicks and puppy stuffies

Seam CG (deltarune)

Plants vs zombies

Viktor (arcane)

Queen of trash CG (Elmo goes to grouch land)

John Constantine (Justice League Dark)

Aziraphale (good omens)

Scenecore

Musa (winx club)

Leap frog

Hyper feminine puppy

Crow + black cat

Totodile + bodies of water

Bees

Sackboy (Little Big Planet) and or My Melody

Baby crocodile

Animal crossing

Pastel kitten

Doki doki literature club

Keralis (Hermitcraft, maybe)

90s grunge

Tula tones (novi stars)

Eevee + dragons

Kitten + stars

Ratchet (rescue bot academy)

Pastel shark

Mikan Tsumiki (Danganronpa)

Mushrooms

Grey + Ross federman youtooz

Sparkly dragon

Blue and purple + puppies

Ducks + alt/Gothic lean

Cinnamoroll

Shadow (sonic)

Jellyfish

Boyfriend.xml (Friday night funkin')

Puppet (fnaf)

Golden retriever + yellow and blue

Bernese mountain dog

Strawberries

Genshin impact

Len or Miku

Toothless (httyd)

Eddworld

Donnie (rise of the tmnt)

The princess and the grilled cheese sandwich

Pastel goth princess

SpongeBob

Karako Pierot (hiveswap)

Young Michael Afton

Soft fox

Great pyrenees + farm

Ike eveland

Invader Zim + neon green

Julius Caesar (Octavian, night at the museum, waiting until March for this one)

Scorpion

Vampire squid

Golden retriever (again, lol)

Cats + playing outside

Border Collie

Tiger

Argos CG (World of Mr. Plant) 

Pochacco

Mortal Kombat

marble cross fox/forest/fantasy (I'm figuring this one out still)

Puppy + SpongeBob

characters from Project Sekai, Hoshino Ichika, Mochizuki Honami, Akiyama Mizuki and Kusanagi Nene.

Baby vulture

Frog with more fem themes

Rain world/slugcat

Dark academia/cottagecore

Border Collie

Modded smash hit rooms

Crying child (fnaf)

Agent Smith CG (the matrix)

Katamari

Enjolras (les miserable)

Rolfe DeWolfe CG (Rockafire Explosion)

Bugbo

Slime rancher

Puppet (fnaf)

CosMc's

Parado (Kamen Rider)

Tally hall

Gordon (all engines go)

Spinel (Steven universe)

Cater diamond (twisted wonderland)

Rockabilly (probably)

Felix Lee

Jing yuan CG (Hsr)

Charles Xavier CG (X-Men)

Toki wartooth (metalocalypse)

Naoto Shirogane (persona 4)

Kitoto (I don't know what he's from)

17th century dutch

Sirena von boo (monster high)

Jake (miss peregrines home for peculiar children)

Minecraft

Sees behind trees

Allay (Minecraft, I think)

Spinosaurus screenshots or products

Tecchou (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Barbara (genshin impact)

Tasmanian devil

Spamton CG (deltarune)

Spinosaurus

Grunge + lop eared bunnies

Yume-Nikki

Daxter (jak and daxter)

Madness combat for puppies

James Sunderland (silent Hill)

Shirokuma (Danganronpa)

Leo (IDW comic)

[person4924]

new about me

my name is sam !! thats basically all u need to know but theres (a lot) more under the cut!! i also have a strawpage that has some basic info (idrk how it works if im being honest tho)

last updated: august 5

i’m sapphic of some sort and ace

u can use any pronouns but they is usually the best !! (this is my pronouns page)

i’m neurodivergent of some sort (i don’t even know anymore)

a minor (don’t be weird)

my personality type is INFP-T

my theme will change like weekly prob bc i wanna change it with every new huperfxation i have!!

things i like (the things bolder r what i talk about the most)

harry potter (fuck jkr)

marvel

the marauders

boy meets world

it

osemanverse

paper girls

teen wolf

owl house

shameless

glee

stranger things

friends

andi mack

the last of us (i’ve only watched the show tho, but i know most of what happens in the games)

riordanverse

musicals

poetry

reading

cats

animals

fictional characters

music

movies

tv shows

art

writing

women

sitcoms

brooklyn nine nine

new girl

hamilton

grishaverse

stand up comedians

ocean animals (specifically sharks)

community

moths (and just kinda winged bugs in general)

greek mythology

dawsons creek

bojack horseman

halloween

the sky (like stars, the moon, the sunset, etc)

jelly fish

criminal minds

animals

ted lasso

scooby doo (the older movies from the 2000’s ish specifically but all of it too)

everything sucks!

the sun bearer trials

atypical

octonauts

spencer reid

bo burnham

dead boy detectives

will and grace

90’s movies

my fav movies are tick tick boom, my girl, dead poets society, breakfast club, the outsiders, hamilton, stand by me, cmbyn, lady bird, beautiful boy, luca, nimona, (500) days of summer, empire records, etc. i have a lot but this is just the first few i think of

musicals i like are hamilton, tick tick boom and the greatest showman

my fav taylor albums are folklore, evermore, reputation, 1989, ttpd and speak now but i love all of them really (please please ask me abt them omg)

my current hyper fixation is the marauders (more of a life-long obsession atp) and solangelo

i’m currently reading nothing !! i just cannot

my fav music people (i’m really just giving a short list of many): conan gray, cavetown, current joys, queen, rainbow kitten surprise, the front bottoms, harry styles, noah kahan, taylor swift, phoebe bridgers, the fray, coldplay, olivia rodrigo, billie eilish, boygenius, gracie abrams, sufjan stevens, maya hawke, the smiths, lucy dacus, julien baker, the smiths, sleeping at last, mitski, bo burnham, chappell roan, lorde, the revivalists, hozier, the head and the heart, mumford and sons, the revivalists, adrianne lender

i mostly post about whatever hyperfixation and/or character/person/ship has overtaken my brain, music and analysis things

i appreciate tone tags and i try to use them as much as possible

i’m always looking to talk to more people and i’m always bored (don’t be weird istg)

my fav books are any alice oseman book, the outsiders, the perks of being a wallflower, i fell in love with hope

child of athena (i think, idk how to actually figure it out)

i’m probably a reggie kin?? but it also changes with my varying mental state so i just say i’m marauders soup

biggest pandalily shipper you’ll find

i love love love making character analysis’ or song or movie or tv show or books or ships or whatever

i also write sometimes!! (i suck ass)

and i’m person4924 on ao3 but i can’t figure out how to link it

this is my spotify (my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living. i also have the best music taste you will ever encounter.)

this is my discord

this is my airbuds idk if anyone actually uses it but i thought it’d be fun to share music with mooties

please please please send me asks i have no hobbies and one friend and im always bored please please please (im on my hands and knees begging please please please (@iluvmultipleppl needs it to be known im only on my knees for them /j (they called me a whore and told me to fix it 😔)))

i have a tagging system!! idk how much ill remember to use it but yeah!! (its also new so only my new posts will have them) #sam shut the fuck up -> any original posts that don’t fit in any of the other tags #asks!!! -> asks #crazy? i was crazy once -> just any kinda longer fandom rants that i think are important sam sings :O -> lyric/music rants!!

[ravenadottir]

drag race: boys edition

we had gender bent edits, we had paralell universes, and i'm not sure if someone has done this, but in case it hasn't, here it is. did i need to do this? yes, yes i did. enjoy!

[listen, i saw a video from runner eye and if i can't stop thinking about it, you have to be the ones to be punished by it, i don't make the rules.]

roberta mckenzie. a comedy queen from glasgow. she loves the audience, mostly working up the patreons in hopes to find a gold mine of weird info dump, enough to make the rest of the bar laugh. is the makeup rough? yes, very much so. is the material roast winning? not exactly... but she's new to the game and is trying her best. plus, her outfits pay homage to jamaican patterns every chance she has and most of us enchanted by the charisma and bad puns.

rhonda. one-name-only for a one-personality-only and that is... snake! she's the one pretending to be zen and "i don't do drama" but has the most snake rattle sound effects during her confessionals. she also tries to steal henrietta hotts from luna kohko, and the audience saw it from A MILE AWAY. unsuccessfully of course... HAVE YOU SEEN LUNA? she's the trade of the season.

kassandra. she dj's on the weekends all mounted in silver gowns and small boobie bibs (as she calls them despite being annoyed other people refer to them as that). kassandra has issues with everyone that ISN'T doing recreational drugs at her gigs and call them "stiffs" for it. however, despite looking and sounding harsh... well, that's about it. there's a reason she and luna get along so well!

glitter renell. "a traditional drag queen" according to herself, and to new queens it only means "my uncle in a wig with a rough and patchy makeup work and plastic-ey wigs". the only queen not wearing "fantasy" by britney but who's noticing?? her special number involves ripping off the sleeves of her outfits and revealing MASSIVE biceps, but often times they pop off on their own. got the magic mike title of the season.

ingrid. she's a "sporty type of queen", has multiple tricks with golf clubs, and despite having a couple of head hitting tricks in her history, she tries her best. it sometimes can serve her as a pole to drop to the ground in a split and honestly? work. ingrid is considered one of the hottest and cutest since her shyness brings a different glow to her eyes, which are LOST in pink glitter and magical rainbow shaped makeup. she dares and we love it, leave her alone.

luna kohko. this is a SEASONED queen, alright? makeup on point, fashion in place, attitude to donate, and walking the runway like she built that shit. however, when it comes to friendships in the werk room... don't speak, don't come near, don't come around... in fact, don't come at all. luna doesn't waste time with phony queens and prefers things exactly the opposite of her: straight. she's a lesbian, which means she loves dating drag queens, and since entering the show she has a LIVE AND THRIVE romance with the innocent henrietta hotts. "if that crusty fucking hippie so much as breathes the same air as henrietta again, we're gonna have a fucking problem, yeah? i've seen her lurking the machines trying to strike up a conversation about climbing. there's only one building henrietta is gonna climb and it's not a limp one."

noelle waves. "we have a wall of fabric in that werk room and you continue to come out in swim suits. STOP - RELYING - ON - THAT - BODY". she's a bit reserved most of the time, but if the "girls are fighting", she's the first to step up and play MOTHER. the public likes her, but she's not exactly winning challenges. "safe" defines noelle better than "creative" or "winner", but she tries and helps everyone during challenges.

henrietta hotts. THIS GIRL HAS IT, OK? her signature look is the red lipstick and the blonde wig, and with those beautiful freckles, her persona is very much the girl next door. it makes the judges go "i feel like i haven't met henrietta yet, and i know there's someone in there that needs to... ROAR. also, baby... you need more makeup." is she the smartest? no. is she the most problem-solving? no. is she the most graceful? YOU BET HER ASS COVERED IN GLITTER SHE FUCKING IS.

graham cracker. ANOTHER UNCLE IN A WIG. barely knows how to walk in heels and is giving kim chi vibes. however, because of her leadership skills (which are not comparable to noelle's) she does manage to maintain her position for a while since most of the girls are lowkey scared of her. she's unpredictable and most of the contestants suspect she's straight.

carlota miranda. THIS IS THE MOST EXTROVERTED QUEEN ON THE RUNWAY, however, the boom mic needs to enter her throat to pick up what she's saying due to her bashfulness. not a fighter type but if someone comes for her???? she'll definitely... apologize for it. "fuck, don't fight" is her motto, followed by a timid little giggle since she tries not to curse. her style is "executive realness" but covered in crystals and diamonds. "it's either a mugler or nothing, babes. i don't have time to look like cel. sanders..."

felicia butterfly. annoying as alyssa edwards and untalented as... well, [REDACTED WINNER OF SEASON 4]. she's a one trick poney and the trick is... well, the public and the production are still trying to find it but in the mean time she becomes the bud of the joke. it's kind of entertaining watching her trying to understand anything in the werk room. it gets old but... she leaves pretty soon, so no problem there.

doge style. always wearing dogs' styles on her wigs, it's her signature. the poodle poof is AMAZING. she also becomes friends with everybody, particularly with the nervous ones, like carlota and henrietta since doge's hugs are infallible to relax the girls in situations of stress. she sometimes lets a facial hair look take over if the look calls for it, while the others are afraid of embracing it. "i'm not a woman impersonator, i'm just creative, get over it!" she has a HUGE CRUSH ON ELLA FAME, and it's reciprocated. rumour has it they fucked on the first week and are already planning a getaway.

ella fame. the most exquisite wigs in the werk room NO QUESTIONS ASKED. has beef with gigi goode for the title of best hair styles, but since her house is older and richer, she thinks she has a better chance to win this one pool on twitter. overall, ella has a walk to kill for, one that graham cracker has been trying to learn since day one. "i got it from naomi... you either know it... or you dont." she tells and retells the time she walked the same runway as naomi, even though everyone keeps reminding her that it happened as elijah, not as ella, but as she says in the confessional: "these bitches are so fucking jealous they're causing me intern wrinkles.".

jacoba zabinski. she's not very creative, doesn't have an interesting name, doesn't know how to walk differently than a constipated bear and doesn't know how to wear a wig. to be fair, she's only in the show to get clout for her male persona, jakub. bodybuilding is not paying off since his scandals in multiple gyms for his part time job as an instructor. so instagram shit tea and self taner brands have been the bread winning besides being the biggest bitch in the room. she enters the porkchop hall of fame. OBVIOUSLY.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Crackship Best Friends

Moonwatcher and Hazel Levesque would be best friends and have tea together.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Remus Sanders would be the scariest pair of friends istg

Joaquín Mondragon and Jake Peralta. Oh, my god.

Remy/Sleep Sanders and Gina Linetti would be horrible awful. Under no circumstances should they meet. Ever.

I think that Lenny Summers and Qibli the SandWing should vibe and I also hc that Qibli should have Lenny's voice

Weird vibe but Kinkajou the RainWing and Princess Poppy from Trolls.

Discord from MLP FIM and Darkstalker would be a sillygoofy duo and I love them

Glory the RainWing, and Alex Fierro.

Sadie Kane and Sadie Adler omfg

Janet from The Good Place and Logan Sanders

Jason Mendoza from TGP and Jambu the RainWing 😭

Clay the MudWing and Patton Sanders

Riptide the SeaWing and Percy Goddamn Jackson

Turtle the SeaWing and Wade Ripple (???)

Winter the IceWing and Nico Di Angelo yess

Dipper Pines and Starflight the NightWing woo

Spirit the stallion and Arion from HoO (they'd probably throw hooves actually but they're v similar)

Blackjack the pegasus and Donkey from shrek lmaoo

Richard from Unikitty! and Sour Bill from Wreck It Ralph

Ohh what if: Tom Lucitor from SVTFOE and Marceline the Vampire Queen. Both bi and goth/emo disaster

Judy Hopps and Amy Santiago

Additionally: Captain Holt and Chief Bogo

Ember Lumen and Rainbow Dash

Cricket the HiveWing and Mirabel Madrigal

Molly Finch and Antonio Madrigal

Luisa Madrigal and Lewis Finch

Isabela Madrigal and Barbara Finch

Honestly just need an AU where the Finches and Madrigals are neighbors or smth

[rainbowsky]

hay rainbow,

Dis u see this?Its so hilarious

twitter.com/LiLi_Rksa/status/1640384000370810882?s=20

Yes, as a matter of fact I did.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Along with this clip. And it is something I want to address because I think this is a very important issue for all turtles to be conscious of.

I am referring to the way that video clips can be used to manipulate and mislead people. While I think it's likely the 'eyeroll' clip you shared was edited, even actual, real-time unedited footage can be misleading. A segment of action is selected in a way that removes context and gives an impression that might not be accurate.

I have another clip I want everyone to take a look at, one that is not being shared in turtle circles - one that paints an entirely different picture of what's happening. I think it would be pretty difficult for people to look at this clip and claim that GG and YZ don't get along, or that GG was avoiding being near her.

So, just a bit of a reality check and reminder for turtles - myself included, as I was taken in by one of the clips - that we must always thoroughly investigate claims, particularly negative ones, before buying into them. Very often we are being misled.

Now, that's not always intentional. Someone might just see something happening in some footage and get angry and interpret it in a certain way, and then share it with others, completely not realizing that they aren't seeing the whole story. But the narrative gets written and reinforced and we all go along for the ride.

So what is really happening on that stage?

Well, it looks to me like GG and YZ are getting along fine. It's possible they agreed to appear together in the final shot, maybe to appease those who voted them to be Weibo king and queen (they were chosen in the vote by a wide margin but likely didn't want the dubious honor again).

From what I can see they appear happy to do so, and I don't see any animosity or contempt between them. The idea that GG hates her is a popular turtle narrative that I think is clearly incorrect. And I vastly prefer the idea they are friends to the idea that GG is being plagued by someone he hates.

And a dear friend pointed out to me yesterday that there's likely a more charitable explanation for the guy manhandling GG in that one clip as well.

As we may already know, it's a cultural thing for people in China to be almost competitively modest, trying to defer to the other person, step aside and let others in front of them, etc. We see GG and YZ doing that to each other at the foot of the stairs to the stage. DD also did this as he was taking the stage that night, and he frequently does this with trying to bow deeper than other people, etc.

And as my friend pointed out, it looks like GG was doing that a bit with the guy directing traffic - modestly trying to let others ahead of him so that he wouldn't end up standing at the center of the stage (the place of honor).

It's possible that man was just nudging GG to his rightful place near the center (where the Weibo producers would have wanted him as one of the most popular stars of the night) rather than let him bow away from the spotlight. I hadn't even noticed that there was this weird light sign thing that they were all posing behind, I wasn't really paying attention to that, but the Weibo producers would have wanted him near the center for their photos.

I think the 'modesty' interpretation is much more charitable, and given all the evidence I think that we should at least consider the possibility that's what happened there.

I think CPN and personal interpretations are totally fine - everyone gets to decide their own take on things. HOWEVER, I think we need to be very careful about what sort of picture we paint of GG and DD, what kind of people we claim them to be at the very least. This turtle narrative of GG hating YZ often paints GG as a vindictive, angry, even rude person.

For example, there was a turtle claim that GG kicked the hem of YZ's dress in anger and moved it out of his way, when it's far more likely - and far more in character for GG - that he moved the hem out of the way so that it wouldn't be stepped on. It's more likely that he was being a gentleman and looking out for the safety of another person. He would do that for anyone, we know that about him.

And aside from what we claim about GG and DD, we should also strive to be fair and honest about the people around them. I've said this about Du Hua and about Meng Ziyi, and now I'm saying it about Yang Zi - we need to stop piling hate on the women around GG and DD. It's so toxic and so misogynistic.

I need to be clear that I'm not condemning anyone who has felt those things (nor am I judging Anon). I myself have fallen prey to some of that. We are all just doing our best based on the information we have. But I feel that - for myself anyway - when we're presented with unadulterated evidence that we were wrong, we need to revise our position based on that and admit where we were wrong.

We also can't be constantly threatened every time a woman comes within ten feet of GG or DD. I see this happen a lot with turtles. We shouldn't be so insecure. We know GG and DD love each other, and that these women are just friends and colleagues.

I've always felt it's so sexist that women are treated that way, to be honest. Like they can't be friends with men without it being treated as something more. And then everyone wonders why men and women struggle to understand each other and get along well. Maybe if they were actually able to socialize freely with one another without it being treated as sexual or romantic, maybe they'd be better at connecting with one another.

Gender role heteronormativity is such a negative force. Let's try to keep ourselves in check, and look out for the ways that it might be encroaching on our own interpretations.

Just my two cents about it.

EDIT: Follow-up post here.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 5

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Ed O'Brien:

"My little meow meow…."

"If I met him in real life I feel like I would simply turn into a pile of ash on the ground. You would have to vacuum up my remains and put them in an urn"

"Reasons you should vote for Ed O'Brien: -He's hot. Literally looks like a Greek god -Humble. Content to stay out of the spotlight and let his fellow bandmates shine -Smart -Very big supporter of LGBTQ+ -He's gorgeous -Family man -Very loyal guy -Beautiful eyes -Guitarist (need I say more?) -He wrote the Weird Fishes/ Arpeggi riff (best song off of Radiohead's best album) -Have I mentioned how attractive he is? -Only hot member of Radiohead I'm sorry"

"If he loses I will disintegrate and become one with the wind"

Björk:

"sooo pretty"

"Björk looks like her music sounds. Out of this world and beautiful"

"she's like the chipmunk who visits my window"

"She is mjother. She has the range, the versatility to serve any and every kind of beautiful you could ever want. She went from cute art pop girly to icy electronic queen in the span of a few years. She served cunt while dealing with the fallout of divorce. And then immediately pivoted to ethereality and fairies. An icon. Oh also, all of Vespertine exists. Need I say more?"

"She IS grateful grapefruit. No one is doing it like Björk she's so one of a kind and insane and very beautiful and everyone should vote for her. A vote for Björk is a vote for Icelandics everywhere!!!!!!!"

"Björk's voice had such a beautiful clarity and delicate chastity that has infused some of the loveliest songs to ever be written. She is an angel that came down from the Heavens to bless us all with her talent, her mind and her grace. Vespertine, with the most elegantly crafted songs of Pagan Poetry, Cocoon, It's Not Up To You and every other majestic opus on the album stands as the most mystical, tragic, and sensual exploration of love and the core of us that makes us human, our souls. And my second favourite album only to In Rainbows. And all her other albums are great too. Just Google I Love To Love by Björk which is a cover but still shows you that she was the most talented sweetheart ever, even at 6 years old. She is my fire, the one desire. I quoted Backstreet Boys, that should tell you how dedicated I am to this cause. If that still doesn't persuade you however, I'll have you know that Justine Frischmann burned my house to the ground, frequently urinates on my lawn, abducted my mom, pushed my grandmother down a flight of stairs on her trip to Manchester and chopped my dad's "you know what" off to use as a heirloom for her house. She is a nasty and crazy woman. Vote Björk, our Icelandic queen."

"bjork is sexy in a mind-expanding way. she would [redacted] and then teach u how to build a computer. my partner says she makes music for autistic people to have sex to. also history ot touches ??????? hello????"

"Have you seen the swan dress? She's an icon and she is the moment"

"swan dress. need i say more"

(the dress in question)

[t-horn-n]

— he who wears the crown of thorns

PAIRING: peter ballard/henry creel x reader (female) 

GENRE: angst, h.end

WARNINGS: canon-level violence, allusions to substance (mis)use 

Stranger Things S4 spoilers.

SUMMARY: when you are injured in the lab, peter must finally admit what your relationship is.

NOTE: I have exhausted the well of Peter Ballard fanfiction, so I decided to write my own.

If you were one for poetics, you would craft the story of Hawkin’s Lab into a drama, or more likely, a tragedy.  Peter Ballard Henry Creel the hero, a fallen king who wears a crown of thorns around his neck.  And Martin Brenner, the arrogant mortal who tries to wield a god’s power.  

What does that make you?  Once, you may have simply been the narrator.  An outsider who felt obliged to tell the story of those who could not tell it themselves.  But now?  As time has passed, are you the fallen king’s guardian angel?  His pawn, a subject made to be ruled?  His friend?  Or his lover?  

It is not yet clear. 

What is certain is that you are entangled with him as though you have been ensnared by invisible threads, as unnoticeable as fishermen’s line, but as strong as spiders’ silk.  To Henry your presence in the lab has been as permanent as the white-tiled walls.  Though you are his age, you have been there since the beginning—to lend some normalcy into his life, Brenner had claimed.  Though, surely, you are not so ignorant as to believe anything about Henry is normal.  

Nonetheless, you are a constant in Peter Ballard’s life.  A rock that has stood even as Martin Brenner’s forest grew.  Peter became taller, older, more deceitful.  Together you raised the doctor’s saplings, fostered them with sunlight in the form of smiles.  

And now, your relationship?

Well, it’s simple in its complexity.  It’s peculiar in its secretiveness.  Your private grins and unspoken jokes and the strange way you store a piece of your weird, mangled souls in each other.  

But Brenner gets high off control.  If not, what need does he have for the collars?  The cameras?  The rules?  And when he loses his grip he suffers from withdrawal.  And he can be so very cruel when he does not get his fix.  

For a while, he pretended that that attraction did not exist.  He chose not to see the proximity because with all of the power Brenner tells himself he possesses comes laziness.  

“Don’t you think that if we all lined up on a checkerboard we would look like oversized chess pieces?” you murmur to Peter one afternoon—or at least that is what the clock claims—in the Rainbow Room.  

The two of you stand against the wall with the twin doors, facing the mirror with its reflection of your white uniforms and a dozen shaved heads.  

He chuckles quietly in amusement, the kind only you can earn.  “If that’s the case, that would make us the King and Queen.” 

You smile and your hands inch together.  A fingernail brushes against a fingernail, but a pinprick of red light bores into your forehead and you do not dare to do anything more than whisper.  

Brenner may be lazy, but he can also be sly and sneaky.

Two of the younger children colour on pristine sheets of paper.  Flowers and suns, things they have never seen for themselves, are conjured from the coloured wax of the crayons they hold.  Eleven drops a red disk into a numbered peg board, again and again.  Two, Three, and Four toss a bean bag between them.  Anything to cure their boredom. 

Suddenly, the door is pushed open.  It is not Martin Brenner, so the children do not rise.  They continue their puttering and only the oldest look to see who caused the disturbance.  Another Orderly addresses Peter.  

“Your shift is over.  I am here to take your place.”   

Peter smiles, his beautiful lips stretched thin.  

“I’ve been assigned a double shift today.  Don’t worry about me, Ballard,” you say to his hesitance.  

He smiles again and now his eyes crinkle too.  Then he leaves and you are left to stand with this Orderly on opposite sides of the steel door as though the lab is the prison Brenner tries so hard to deny.  You avoid staring at your own reflection because you have found that if you look at yourself for too long your reflection will become unrecognisable.  And then the person across from you is alien, and will certainly drive you mad.

Before your thoughts can run around your head in dizzying loops, the children start yelling.  Two and Three have stalked over to where Ten kneels surrounded by a fortress of blocks.  Wooden walls will not protect him from entitlement.  

“Move,” Two demands.  

For a moment, Ten does not reply and you think he will ignore Two—that he will weather this onslaught.  The silence permeates and is only broken by a soft whirring as the camera stationed in the corner of the room angles to watch the performance unfold.  

For that same moment, you do not know what to do.  Brenner has never liked Orderly interference in his children’s matters, always eager to see the extent of their capabilities, and of their rage.  But then again, he will be undoubtedly upset if one of his assets is damaged.

“No,” Ten says.

In a swift movement Two kicks his block towers and they go sprawling on the floor.  You and the other Orderly rush forward as Two takes Ten by his collar, yanking him up so quickly that he is not allowed time to yell, and his toes barely brush the tile.  

“Say again?” Two snarls.

“Two, your behaviour is—” you start.  

Two thrusts an arm outwards and the other Orderly flies backwards and into several chairs.  You do not move.  A rock. 

Perhaps Two would have been surprised if he were not so busy spitting in the other boy’s face.  “When I tell you to do something, you do it.” 

Ten’s face hardens defiantly and you are almost envious.  Where was this courage when you were a child?  Did you lack Ten’s bravery or the fodder of the other children?  

Two swings hard and his fist meets Ten’s cheek because in a deranged rage he must have forgotten that he is always being watched—or is the true reason more sinister?—and Ten is on the floor.  Blood runs down his face and stains his teeth.  Two appears drunk from adrenaline. 

A grin is spreading across his face, arrogant and smug.  But from the ground Ten throws a wooden block at his face.  It cuts his eyebrow, its point digging into his skin and now he too is bleeding.  Again, Two lunges forward like he is about to commit murder, but you are there, holding his shoulders and trying to push him against the wall.  His hands fly up, your face stings as Two drags his fingernails across your skin.  

Your fellow Orderly has since recovered and is holding Ten’s arms behind his back as though in the past three minutes the child has been traded for a criminal.  

“Let go of me!” Two yells.  

Your lips press together. 

Startlingly, the doors fling open, Martin Brenner has arrived.  Now, the children all jolt and stand in their lines.  

“Hello, Papa,” they greet. 

Even Two’s anger has waned in the presence of the doctor.

He speaks to the other Orderly first.  “Please escort Two and Ten to the infirmary.  I will have a chat with them later.”  

Then he looks directly at you and juvenile fear seizes you, the kind you should have grown out of.  “Come.” 

You release Two.  Approaching Brenner you do not look at the children, you try to relax your shoulders and raise your chin.  Peter would not be afraid, you remind yourself.  Brenner grasps your wrist in a handcuff not made of metal but flesh.  Roughly, he pulls you from the Rainbow Room and down the hallway.  

“You are here to protect them, Y/N, and today, you have failed to do that.” 

There is no point in protesting nor is there a reason to sputter apologies.  Simply, you allow him to drag you through the corridors of Hawkin’s Lab. 

A collar of metal and wires is fixed around your neck, a bite guard in your mouth.  You sit in a chair and an electrical shock races through your veins.  Your nerves alight and already perspiration beads at your hairline.  

Humiliation as you slide from the chair because your muscles spasm and you see Peter watching behind glass with an expression that discloses nothing.  But in his eyes, you see horror.  You tell yourself that you are not crying, and that the water that turns your vision bleary is the natural reaction to your situation.  

Pain as your legs commit treason and kick in odd directions.  

You count to yourself the seconds that pass.  It is all manageable if the time you suffer is compartmentalised.  When it is over and Brenner has left and Orderlies have taken the collar from your neck, Peter gathers you into his arms.  He tucks his head into your neck and whispers into your ear.  He does not tell you that you are okay because obviously you are not.  

“I’m sorry.” 

Still, your fingers twitch.  Your head jerks periodically while your feet tingle. 

He does not apologise again.  He does not need to.  Now it is certain that what you are extends past labels.

“They will not control us forever,” he promises.  “Soon we will rule them all.” 

Perhaps Henry Creel still wears barbs like a necklace, but his pledges to you are like a crown of thorns placed over your brow.  Those who wear the crown of thorns will not be caged for long.

— m. list

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 1: A Fiñata Full of Death Bugs

~The Man Cave~

So, the secret was out. Jasper knew about Henry being Kid Danger and reluctantly, Ray had agreed to take the kid under his wing as yet another helper in his store and secret hideout. Honestly, he needed to stop taking children into his employment, the place was starting to be so crowded. 

It also didn't help that Jasper was the latest addition. He was a sweet boy, who'd never hurt a fly, but he was clumsy, a blabbermouth and let's face it, a bit annoying and weird at times. Henry wasn't worried and neither was (y/n), they knew he'd be fine, a little excitable at first, but fine. However, the same couldn't be said for Ray, who was frantically pacing a groove into the Man Cave's floor the next morning.

"I don't know about this, man, I dunno." He panicked, making Henry and (y/n) roll their eyes at him as they watched him from the couch. The young woman was still in her pyjamas, having wanted to stay comfy for the first part of Saturday and was happily munching her cereal as Ray worked himself up over the Jasper predicament.

"Come on, it's gonna be great," Henry told him, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." (y/n) shrugged, seeing that Ray was in one of his drama-queen fits again. If he got out of hand, she'd be the one to say some soothing words and cuddle him until he smiled again, but for now, it was best to just ride the wave.

"Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eating one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!" The large man pouted, not liking how Henry and (y/n) smirked at the memory. It was pretty funny to see such a muscly guy reading about Princess Sugarplum and her rainbow unicorn magic land. 

"Dude, I've known Jasper my whole life." The boy told him, but it didn't calm his boss down.

"That does not mean he's qualified to have a job here!" Ray pointed out, thinking that you needed special skills and references or some shit to work for him. 

"Ray, you hired me when I was twenty. I didn't exactly have qualifications, apart from my degree. Literally, no life experience." (y/n) gave him her annoyed face and he backed off. He hated and loved when she was right.

"Dah!" He groaned, not liking how his morning was going. Maybe Charlotte's enthusiasm could cheer him up. 

"Happy Saturday morning!" She smiled at her friends after coming down the tube with a grin on her face. Well, she was certainly full of beans.

"Yo." Henry returned her smile, glad to see that Ray was the only one freaking out about having Jasper around now. 

"Hey, Char." (y/n) greeted warmly as she scooped the last of her cereal from the milk in her bowl. She'd have to get dressed soon, but she could wait a little longer.

"Maybe you're happy," Ray grumbled, walking past the young girl to lean on the couch with his back turned on his friends. He was such a child sometimes.

"Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper working at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?" Henry asked his friend, who usually was another voice of reason around the Man. Cave, but it seemed like she was sceptical of Jasper's abilities to stay calm and collected too.

"I can't tell lies before breakfast." She shrugged and sauntered over to the auto-snacker so she could get some food. Ray was glad that someone was seeing sense, but Henry was about to ruin his mood again.

"Here ya go." The boy said and held out a candy bar for Ray to eat.

"What's this?" He asked, reading the scientific nonsense printed on the packaging. Something about protein or micronutrients and he was so busy deciphering the mumbo-jumbo, he didn't see (y/n) snickering as she slurped the honeyed milk left from her breakfast. 

"Lady bar." Henry deadpanned and milk erupted from (y/n)'s mouth as Ray shrieked and threw it away in terror. He looked at her with an expression of playful betrayal as she dabbed the milk away from around her mouth and shared a smirk with Henry. She was so beautiful like this; no makeup, no one to please, just her as natural as she could be, laughing and joking around with his beloved sidekick. It managed to melt some of his apprehension away as he admired the delightfully innocent scene.

"Scrambled eggs," Charlotte instructed the auto-snacker, wanting to get some food into her growling belly.

"Ew, I can't believe you like those." (y/n) grumbled to the girl as she overheard her order. She much preferred her cereal to start her day, probably because it didn't smell gross like scrambled eggs.

"Oh, he's here." Henry's announcement drew everyone's focus away from Charlotte's eggs for a moment and they all looked at the supercomputer. The monitor showed that Jasper was waiting outside Junk-N-Stuff's door and Ray groaned loudly. As (y/n) snuggled into his side last night (insomnia had put her there, would you believe it), he had been praying for Jasper to suddenly change his mind or magically forget about Henry being his sidekick, but his wishes hadn't come true. 

"Hey, what's up?" Henry pressed the button that connected the computer's microphone to the speaker outside the store and Jasper smiled brightly. Ray frowned at the sight of the boy and (y/n) came over from her cosy spot on the couch to see what all the fuss was about. 

"Hey! Jasper Dunlop, here to see Captain Man and Kid Danger!" Jasper saluted his new boss, who blanched at his loud tone and quickly cut the link before the whole neighbourhood heard his yapping.

"Shhhhh!" Henry tried to quieten him down, but it was too late; Ray's feathers were ruffled.

"Did ya hear that? He's gonna blab all our secrets to the whole world!" He squeaked at Henry and (y/n), both of whom had to admit that Jasper had messed up there, but he'd only been at work for three seconds, they had to give him a chance.

"No, not after we show him our video," Henry said calmly, taking (y/n)'s advice that to deal with an overreacting Ray, you had to be the calm one. Henry didn't have her feminine qualities to help him win over Ray, but he could definitely be cool-headed.

"It's probably just first day nerves and excitement coming through. Give him a chance, Raymond." (y/n) stepped forward and loving rubbed her palms against his chest in a soothing manner, which was her special technique to get him to let go of his anger. It had taken a few years to suss out, but it was a good method and one that Ray enjoyed more than he let on.

"Fine. Just get him down here, get him down here." Ray caved and sent Henry off to collect Jasper from the store so he could show him the way into the Man Cave. 

"Hey, I think something's wrong with the auto-snacker," Charlotte commented to the adults as Henry disappeared into the elevator. 

"Oh, god, not again. What's the problem?" (y/n) asked as Ray grumbled. More problems? Typical, like his day could get any worse. 

"I ordered scrambled eggs and I'm still standin' here, eggless," Charlotte told her, but Ray wasn't up for solving anyone else's issues, just his own.

"Well, I'm stressed out! I need my wireless headphones." He replied and turned around to grab them so he could block out the world and all the annoying teenage boys it brought into his home.

"What about the...scrambled eggs! Eggs-o-day scramble-dee-oh-so!" Charlotte gave up trying to get help from Ray and thumped the machine for her food. Geez, she was starving and she just wanted one plate of eggs. Was that too much to ask?

"Mashed potatoes." The automated voice returned, making Charlotte frown.

"What did I say that sounded anything like mashed potatoes? (y/n), help meeee!" She whined and turned to the young woman for assistance. She knew about electronics and circuit board stuff, maybe she could get her some eggs.

"Ray, can you come help---ah!" She was taken by surprise as her best friend grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. She fell into his crossed-legged lap and instinctively snuggled against him as he caged her in and refused to let go.

"I'm sorry, I need to listen to my meditation music and hug my best friend and calm down my inner parts." Ray panted in hyperventilation and swiftly shoved his headphones over his ears and held (y/n) to his chest. 

"Aw, poor baby." (y/n)'s bottom lip quivered at how worried he looked and immediately set about doing everything she could to soothe his nerves. She had no idea he was this stressed and she stroked small patterns onto his skin with her pointer finger. He felt his anxiety smooth out as he let the soft music and the sensation of having the essence of his girl carry him off to his happy place.

"Ugh, useless...Ooh, here we go. " Charlotte groaned when she saw them shut out the world just so they could get some cuddle time in. No matter, she could figure this out herself and things were going well as the snack machine's hatch opened.

"Sweet girl, oh my god, I'm freaking out," Ray mumbled in a chanting voice as he pressed his lips to her head, hoping the fruity, familiar scent of her shampoo would ground him.

"Just relax, I'm here." She whispered and brushed her hand over his eyes so they would flutter shut. She just needed him to stay calm, so she ran her fingers through his floppy brown hair in an attempt to do so.

"All right, where are my scrambled eggs?" Charlotte pondered and foolishly stuck her head in the machine to see if she could yank them out. As expected, it didn't go to plan.

"Om--maha is not the capital of Nebraska." Ray carried on chanting, silently loving the way his girl was fawning over him. He always had her to help him through the bad times and now, his spine was tingling from the way fingers ignited his skin and her warm breath tingled against his neck.

"Get me out of here!" Neither of them saw how Charlotte had been sucked into the auto-snacker as her screams for help were drowned out by Ray's music and (y/n) had dozed off when the warmth of Ray's body seeped through her thin pyjamas and lulled her to sleep. 

"Ommm...Masaki is when you let your sushi chef choose your sushi for you." Ray continued to say random facts to himself as he cradled the young woman in his arms and the sound of his voice blocked out Charlotte's shouting. He was more than happy to let her sleep in his arms and to see her peaceful face was the most soothing thing she could've given him.

~Meanwhile, in Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry had welcomed Jasper into the store and the boy was full of enthusiasm for his first day working as Captain Man's secret assistant. This was his dream come true and he was adamant that he was gonna make a good start. 

"Why are you wearing a tie?" Henry asked as he noticed Jasper's unusually formal outfit. All he would be doing was serving customers in a junk store, he didn't need to look so fancy.

"Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression." The curly-haired boy explained, but Henry knew that he didn't need to put in so much effort. Ray was a stickler for formality, in fact, he kinda loved being goofy.

"Take off the tie," Henry instructed him and Jasper stroked the material sadly. He thought it looked rather dashing. Still, he followed after Henry and the two friends walked into the back together so they could take the elevator.

"Whoa, the back room." Jasper gasped at the unfamiliar territory, even though it wasn't that cool. It was just another front full of junk that kept the real wonder down below a secret.

"Uh-huh." Henry just nodded and stepped into the elevator, wanting to see the real surprise on Jasper's face when he saw the Man Cave.

"Now, uh...don't get scared." He warned him as he pressed the button. Everyone's first trip in that damn elevator was hell and it was certain that it would leave Jasper shaken.

"Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride." He shrugged, thinking that it couldn't be that bad. Oh, how wrong he was. As soon as the bottom was released from Henry's finger, the elevator dropped, making Jasper scream in terror as he felt his body go weightless. Henry, on the other hand, was perfectly cool and collected as he had had nearly two years to get used to the roughness of the trip down. They landed with a bump and the door slid open to reveal that Jasper was clutching Henry's leg for dear life. 

"Oh." He realised that his brush with death was over and he quickly got to his feet before anyone else saw how scared he had been.

"Okay, I got him," Henry told Ray, who had gotten over his anxiety enough to release (y/n) from his arms and let her go get dressed. He was waiting for her to get back and in the meantime, was bringing the floating TV down from the ceiling. 

"Hey, boss!" Jasper smiled brightly, feeling so proud that he was standing in the actual, real-life Man Cave and was reporting for duty to the Captain Man. 

"Good morning, Jasper," Ray replied in a strained voice. God, his cheeriness was annoying. 

"Guess what I'm wearing." The boy said happily, not realising that he was grinding down Ray's gears.

"A goofy tie?" The large man guessed, praying that his girl would hurry up and talk to the kid so he didn't have to. She was so much better at being nice to everyone than he was and it was probably why they fit so well together.

"No, what I'm wearing down here." Jasper pointed to his pants and everyone could guess what he was referring to.

"Okay." Henry cringed, wishing that Jasper could have said anything but that, especially to Ray and on his first day.

"Son, I uh...don't wanna know--" Ray tried to say that he didn't want to see anything like that from Jasper, but it was too late.

"Captain Manderpants!" Oh god. The sight of Jasper's underwear was too much for Ray and the knowledge that the kid was walking around with his face in his...made it even worse. 

"Henry?" He squeaked at his sidekick and now, he was thankful that (y/n) was still getting dressed. This wasn't something a sweet, innocent lady needed to see.

"Put your underwear back in your pants, you're making him uncomfortable." Henry hissed at Jasper in a mortified tone and he quickly rearranged his clothing as Ray pretended to text. Jesus, someone needed to break the tension and that someone was on hand to do it.

"Hey! Oh...hello, Jasper, nice to see you survived the elevator ride." A fully-dressed (y/n) smiled as she descended the stairs from the sprocket and gave her new friend a warm and inviting smile. If anyone could make him feel welcome, it was her.

"Yeah, thank you, Miss Danger," Jasper replied politely, not wanting to upset anyone else. 

"Oh, (y/n)'s fine, you don't have to be so fancy with me. And might I add that you're wearing a devastatingly handsome tie." She joked when she saw the hotdog pattern and her friendliness put the teen at ease. Her mere presence took the edge off the awkwardness for Ray too.

"Uh, where'd Charlotte go?" Henry asked suddenly, looking around for his other friend who had mysteriously disappeared.

"I dunno, probably somewhere." Ray shrugged, still feeling a little off at having a new, unwanted face in his Man Cave. 

"She was around here earlier, maybe she went to the bathroom." (y/n) offered, making sure to keep her manner pleasant since Ray was being so moody around Jasper. She didn't think the boy was so bad, sure, he was a bit silly and odd, but she was certain that he'd grow to be a valuable member of their team. Little did anyone know that poor Charlotte was still kicking and screaming inside the auto-snacker.

"Now, Jasper..." Ray started, but Jasper's exuberance got the better of him.

"Yes, Captain?!" He asked excitedly and gave a salute, which really pissed off Ray.

"First, never do that." The large man told him harshly, making the boy immediately drop his arm. Geez, Ray could be scary when he wanted to be.

"I don't know, I still kind of like the saluting." (y/n) commented, not afraid of Ray and his temper. Well, she was a bit, but she wouldn't let his childish anger walk all over her.

"Secondly, if you're gonna work upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, the most important thing to remember is to never reveal my identity or Henry's or (y/n)'s," Ray stated firmly, brushing over (y/n)'s silly comment. To see her so formal around him would be too unnatural for him, even if it was a joke and he just wanted her to be herself around him.

"I get it," Jasper confirmed, understanding that secrecy was their survival. He would never let his friends get hurt and he knew that Captain Man could count on him to keep his identity safe.

"You will get it," Ray replied huskily, confusing the woman and teen on either side of him. 

"Just show him the damn video." (y/n) rolled her eyes at his dramatics and Ray pressed the play button on his remote.

"Never tell the secret. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger. If you are watching this video, that means you know their true, secret identities, Ray Manchester, Henry Hart and (y/n) (y/l/n)." The video started and showed a photo of Ray and Henry smiling together as the large man held a beaming (y/n) in his arms. It was cute and one of their best ones together as a crime-fighting trio.

"I love that pic of us," Ray smirked at Henry, knowing that he and his sidekick looked awesome.

"Yeah, we look good." Henry nodded, thinking the same, although he was certain that he'd never drool over (y/n) the way Ray was now.

"Big-heads." The young woman shook her head at their huge egos and didn't see the way Ray was admiring her features on the screen, nor did she see how he took the time to gaze at her in real life. A goddess amongst mere mortals. 

"Help!" Charlotte yelled from inside the auto-snacker, but they were all too focused on the video, so her shouting fell on deaf ears. 

"Revealing the secret could have terrible consequences. Such as tragedy, the end of the earth as we know it and loss of bladder control. And now a personal warning to you from Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger." It was a crappy video and a bit too dramatic, but it got the message across, even if (y/n) hated seeing herself onscreen.

"Never reveal the secret. Or this could happen to you. Or worse, punk!" The three superheroes said in turn, trying to sound cool, but Henry's outstretched hand covered his face and when Ray tried to move it, it broke the cool façade.

"Hey, friend, guess what? Captain Man is really Ray Manchester and his best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), she's Miss Danger. And Kid Danger, he's a boy named Henry Hart. Ain't that a juicy secret?" Yeah, it was a weird video. Anything that includes a talking and giggling watermelon, is weird.

"Don't do it." The video ended with Henry, Ray and (y/n) frowning at the camera as they shook their heads and fingers solemnly. If that didn't get the message into Jasper's head, nothing would.

"Any questions?" Henry asked his best friend, who, being an odd boy, had a peculiar one.

"How'd you get that watermelon to talk?" He gasped in amazement, making Ray look at Henry with a pissed off face. This was what Henry wanted to bring into his Man Cave? God help him.

"We have them specially trained." (y/n) replied sarcastically and was surprised when Jasper took her words literally. She could already guess what it was going to be like working with him.

"Help! Help me!" Charlotte yelled from the auto-snacker, where she had managed to get her hand out of the hand.

"What was---Charlotte!" Henry exclaimed when he saw her hand clawing for freedom. The four of them ran over to the machine, but they had no idea how to get her out.

"I'm uncomfortable!" The girl shouted. It was dark and extremely warm in the auto-snack and not somewhere you wanted to stick your whole body into.

"Help me get her out of here!" Henry told Ray and the large man tried to use his superior muscle to prise open the door.

"Charlotte, sweetie, you're not meant to get into the machine just for some eggs!" (y/n) shouted back to the girl, who wasn't up for taking any criticism at that moment. Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Man Cave and the surprise of it made Henry and Ray let go of Charlotte's free arm. Well, that was all her progress undone.

"Uh-oh." Ray aid as he heard it and (y/n) was the first to rush to the computer.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked in confusion as everyone rushed away from Charlotte's problem and onto another one. He just went along with it, thinking that Captain Man probably knew best.

"Ah, geez. Something's going down at the airport." (y/n) groaned as the brief summary of the emergency flashed up onscreen.

"Ooh, is a flight delayed?" The curly-haired boy questioned, even though that wasn't a superhero's area of expertise. Bad guys and end of the world situations, yes, lost baggage and bad food, no.

"No!" Henry told him as Ray bit his tongue. If he said anything bad, it'd just upset his girl and he didn't want that.

"Not really in our job description, curly." (y/n) joked to Jasper, deciding that he should have a nickname to help him fit in. 

"Come on, kid," Ray told Henry and they both moved off to the side of the room as (y/n) kept Jasper back.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked, wondering what all the commotion was about. He was so excited to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, he could barely contain his burning questions.

"We've got a crime to thwart..." Ray started, trying to puff out his chest and appear all cool so (y/n) might look at him would adoring eyes. She did that anyway, always, he just never noticed.

"...At the Swellview Airport." Henry finished, smirking at how good he and his boss sounded.

"Whoa, do you guys plan those rhymes?" Jasper asked as (y/n) giggled. Only Jasper could take away a superhero's confidence just like that.

"Uh, no, no."

"No, they're super organic." Ray and Henry frowned, eager to just get off and go help whoever needed assistance at the airport.

"Aren't you taking Miss Danger with you?" Jasper asked yet another question, but at least it was on a topic Ray was more than happy to talk about.

"Nah, I'll sit this one out." (y/n) smiled at the boy as Ray pouted. He liked it when she came with him and fought the bad guys, it was like they were getting extra time together.

"You sure?" Henry asked, seeing the way Ray was getting all whiny and grumpy from her staying behind. Ugh, that meant he'd be pining all day until they got back.

"Yeah, go save the world without me, one flight at a time." She smiled and Ray begrudgingly accepted that she didn't always want to go out for every emergency. It wasn't a huge job, so three crime fighters seemed a little excessive and there was work to be done in the Man Cave.

"Wait, what about Charlotte?" Jasper asked, but Ray and Henry were already in the middle of blowing their bubbles, so any more questions would have to wait. The boy grinned in wonder as he watched them transform together for the first time and before they set off, Captain Man and Kid Danger ran over to the auto-snacker, where (y/n) had wandered over to check on Charlotte.

"Hey, Charlotte, how's it going in there?" Ray asked her like it was a nice getaway vacation or something. 

"It's going bad! Get me out of this thing!" She yelled back, feeling all sticky and claustrophobic from the hot, tight space she found herself trapped in.

"We can't we got an emergency," Ray told her, even though his best friend was determined to get her out whilst they were gone.

"I'm an emergency!" Charlotte whimpered back, making Ray feel a teensy bit guilty that he wasn't going to stick around and help.

"Can you breathe okay?" Henry asked, wanting to know how bad the conditions were for his friend.

"She's been in there for like two hours, if she couldn't breathe, she'd be dead." (y/n) pointed out and then Charlotte snapped back with some incoherent mumbling.

"Okay, what'd she say?" Henry asked the two adults who were none the wiser.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, I'm good, you guys go do what you gotta do"," Ray lied, making (y/n) roll her eyes at him. 

"You two, just go. I'll try and get the machine to spit her out." (y/n) told them and they nodded. She had no idea how she was gonna do it without some expert knowledge, but hey, she'd give it a go.

"Okay, Char. Schwoz will be back in two to three hours to help (y/n)." Henry told his friend as the young woman gave Ray a quick hug goodbye and a peck on the cheek. 'For luck', she kept telling herself like she wasn't just doing it because she loved to feel his skin under her lips.

"Two to three hours?!" Charlotte gasped, but Ray and Henry had already run off to the tubes.

"Wait! What am I supposed to do while you guys are out fighting crime?" Jasper asked the heroes as they slapped their belts and the tubes came down. 

"Just go up to Junk-N-Stuff and watch the store," Henry told him and Ray agreed. That was basically all Jasper had to do for a pretty good salary.

"But I have some questions about my job." The boy whined and Ray had the perfect solution.

"(y/n) can answer all your questions right after we say up the tube." The large man told the boy, making his best friends eye widen at how sneaky he was.

"Raymond Manchester, you get back here or--" She tried to run forward and give him a slap on the arm for leaving all of Jasper's questions to her, but it was too late.

"Up the tube!" They shouted and within seconds, they were gone, leaving (y/n) alone with Jasper and his book full of questions.

"Okay, um...when a customer comes into the store, am I supposed to tell them to leave or act normal?" He asked the woman, who smiled politely and sat down on the couch with him. At least they were starting off easy.

"Just act normal. Sell them whatever they want, but if they start getting weird or try to get in the back, press the emergency alarm behind the counter." She answered, glad that he was asking questions that she knew about.

"Okay...what do I do if a criminal comes into the store and threatens me?" He asked next.

"Run like hell and alert us down here that you're in trouble. We'll come and help you." She smiled, but it got a little tight as another question was asked.

"Okay..." This could take a while. Charlotte better sit tight.

~3 hours later~

"KEEP PULLING, SCHWOZ!" (y/n) yelled to the genius as they fought to get Charlotte out of the auto-snacker. He'd finally returned after hours of waiting and now, he was helping the young woman get her out. She'd tried everything, yanking, pulling, being nice to the machine, but nothing had worked, so it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around. 

"I've got the head!" He replied as he pulled from the sides of Charlotte's head whilst (y/n) kept the door from closing. They were grunting and straining from the effort when Ray and Henry came down the tube after their mission. 

"Hiya!" (y/n) smiled at them breathily as she used all of her strength to keep the hatch from closing.

"Ooh, what a pretty fish you have." Schwoz turned around and saw that his boss had a multi-coloured, cardboard and tissue paper fish thing in his hands.

"You're squeezing my head too hard!" Charlotte whined as she managed to her arms out. Just a little more and she'd be free.

"Well, what do you want us to do?" Schwoz asked her sternly, thinking that they were doing their best to help her and all she was doing was complaining.

"Let go!" The teen directed him, not realising what the implications of that action would be.

"Kay-kay." Schwoz smiled, more than happy to give his aching arms a rest from all the pulling.

"Wait, no, no, no! Schwoz!" (y/n) groaned as the girl was released back into the machine, undoing all of their hard work. Well, there was no point in holding the door open now.

"Uh, did Charlotte just get sucked into--" Henry started, but the young woman was too agitated to hear it all out loud.

"Yes. Yes, she did, meaning that the last hour of us busting our asses to get her out has been for nothing. Right, Schwoz?" The young woman hissed and looked directly at Schwoz, who wasn't that worried about the problem or her anger.

"Relax, I'll get her out in a minute." Schwoz brushed her off, which made her fold her arms and sulk at his complacent attitude.

"What's that?" She asked her best friend, strolling over to him in hopes that he'd give her a hug and make her feel better.

"This thing is a fiñata." Ray smiled at her, but she eyed the "fiñata" suspiciously when she heard a buzzing noise come from inside it.

"Yeah, see, it's like a piñata, but, like, fish-themed," Henry explained, making Schwoz roll his eyes at how they were infantilising him.

"I know what a fiñata is." He said in an obvious tone.

"Um, Ray, why is your fiñata buzzing?" (y/n) asked as she poked one of the fish's fins, which probably wasn't a good idea. Ray manoeuvred it out of her reach and she got the message that it was dangerous in some way. 

"Well, I bet you didn't know that this fiñata is filled with live Zom-bees." He told Schwoz and shook the thing at the little guy, making him and (y/n) step back and hide behind the couch.

"Ayee!" Schwoz cowered as (y/n) covered her ears and glared at her best friend. That was a mean trick.

"Raymond, you can't bring Zom-bees into the Man Cave. If the fiñata breaks, they'll fly into our ears and eat our brains and y'know, I'm quite fond of mine!" The young woman pointed out and used her cutest eyes to make Ray get on her side. 

"Well, you'd be okay 'cause your super regeneration would repair your damaged brain cells, but we'd all die!" Schwoz corrected her, which made (y/n) feel worse. Why did she have to be the survivor of the Zom-bee attack and see all her friends get their brains munched on?

"We know," Ray told the genius and gave (y/n) his most calming smile. He didn't want her to be afraid.

"Yeah, so, how do we get rid of it?" Henry asked his boss, feeling just as nervous as (y/n) and Schwoz around the Zom-bee-filled thing.

"Uh, take it upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff. I'll call animal control and have 'em come pick up that fiñata of death." The superhero replied and gave the colourful fish a dark look. He wanted that thing gone before it freaked his girl out even more. 

"Okay, I'll bring it upstairs." Henry nodded, being careful not to break the fragile casing. He'd be the first one to have his brain eaten if they escaped and he definitely didn't fancy that.

"Don't forget to change your clothes." (y/n) reminded him, seeing that Henry was headed straight for Junk-N-Stuff as Kid Danger. That would be a hard one to explain if a customer saw him.

"Oh, yeah," Henry responded and tried to get his tube out whilst balancing the fiñata under his arm, which didn't go well. He stumbled and nearly dropped the thing, spooking the adults as it nearly split open.

"Hey, hey!" Ray gasped as (y/n) squeaked and hid her face in his chest, making his arms instinctively curl around her body to protect her.

"Geez, Henry!" Schwoz breathed out as the fiñata didn't break and the boy tucked it carefully under his arm again. 

"Be careful with that thing!" (y/n) whimpered against the red and blue material of Ray's tunic, her best friend running his hand up and down her back to calm her down.

"Guys, chill out, I'm not gonna drop it," Henry reassured them, not seeing why they were getting so worked up about everything.

"Do you have it?" Ray asked, just wanting to make sure he could manage.

"Yeah." Henry nodded, feeling like they were being a little too cautious. Didn't they trust him?

"Are you good?" (y/n) asked, also feeling a bit nervous at the thought of giving a load of death bees to a teenager to look after. 

"It's fine." He sighed, pressing the elevator button so he could just leave them to their worrying.

"Are you good?" Ray reiterated, not liking how his girl was still clutching him in fear. He wanted to ensure that Henry knew what he was doing.

"Ray...it's fine. Just...hug (y/n), she looks scared." The boy calmly told his boss and smirked when the large man gave him a grumpy look. It was like Henry wanted the woman to see that he was madly in love with her, what a dick.

"Okay." Ray let it go and returned to petting (y/n)'s hair, only Henry was a bit clumsy and on his way into the elevator, he nearly dropped the fiñata again, making the adults look at him with fear as he struggled to catch it before it hit the floor.

"AHHH, THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!" (y/n) screamed and jumped so her legs could wrap around Ray's waist like a koala, clinging to him tightly as she covered his ears. She didn't want to be left alone, so she'd sooner protect his brain than hers.

"See what you've done?" Ray deadpanned to Henry as he supported the girl he was now carrying. The boy just hit the button and the elevator door slid closed, leaving the man to reassure his girl into letting go, not that he was complaining about how she had chosen him to protect her.

"Come on, sweet girl, it's okay, there's no Zom-bees." He cooed at her and rested his hand on his cheek so he could touch the one covering his ears.

"I don't want them to eat your brain." She mumbled, pouting as his eyes met hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt, he was her protector and provider, what would she do without him?

"I'm okay, sweet girl." He chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she smiled bashfully into his neck. What would he do without her?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

"And here's your receipt." Jasper smiled at a customer as he made another sale. 

"Thank you." The woman accepted it graciously and Jasper had to admit that so far, his first day working for Captain Man was going great. 

"And enjoy your vintage waterbed." He said to the customer, who was planning on using it for or...with her cats. Weird. 

"Uh, do you me to help you carry that to your car?" Jasper offered the woman, seeing that the waterbed was too large and heavy for one person to carry easily.

"Please." The woman agreed and they made small talk as they shifted the water-filled bag out of the shop. It probably would be easier to empty the bed before moving it, but no one thought about that.

"Hey, Jasper?...Yo, Jasp?"Henry yelled as he walked out of the elevator and looked around the front of the store for his friend. He had no idea that Jasper had stepped out to help the crazy cat-lady with her waterbed and he was about to make a massive mistake. Henry's whiz watch began to beep and he plonked the fiñata down on the counter.

"Hey, what's up?" He greeted Ray as he checked to see if any customers were coming.

"Schwoz, (y/n) and I are trying to pull Charlotte out of the auto-snacker and we need another pair of hands," Ray grumbled as he glanced at his friends who were still trying to get the girl out of the damn machine. Why it wouldn't spit her out was anyone's guess.

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Henry nodded and snapped the watch closed. There was never a dull moment with his job.

"You know I flaunt ya, 'cuz girl I really want ya. And you're looking nice, got me cooler than a bag of ice, now freeze, freeze, freeze." He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the elevator. Five Fingaz To The Face had been in his head all day and it seemed like it was in Jasper's too.

"Drop it fast and move it real slow, oh! What? You smell so fruity, I'm pirate and you're my booty, argh!" Jasper sang, shaking his butt as Piper and her friend came into the store. Well, this was embarrassing.

"Oh my god, are you rapping?" Piper cringed as she saw the older boy, who didn't see anything wrong with a little boogie in the workplace.

"Yeah." He confirmed, thinking his moves were pretty sweet.

"Well, don't." She snapped. God, it was so embarrassing to see her brother's dopey best friend dance and rap in front of her friend.

"Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me," Jasper told the little girl, but she didn't care. She was only nice to a few select people and Jasper wasn't one of them.

"No, I'm here as the customer, so you have to be. nice to me...THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled in Jasper's face when he tried to disagree and he quickly fell into line. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Piper and her fury.

"Hey, we're gonna be late." Piper's friend said as she looked up from her phone for the first time since she walked into the store.

"Late for what?" Jasper asked as he took in their outfits. Both girls were dressed to the nines in some really cute clothes and he wondered where they were going.

"A birthday party for our friend. So help us pick out a present, would ya?" Piper instructed him, peering around the junk on the shelves. There had to be something in this crappy store that would suit her friend.

"Does she like dogs?" Jasper asked, having something in mind, even though it wasn't remotely apt for an eleven-year-old girl.

"Yeah." Piper's friend said and Jasper walked over to a freaky skeleton on display.

"This is a dog skeleton. Woof, woof, woof...we'll keep looking." The curly-haired boy quickly discarded the creepy thing when he saw Piper's displeased stare. Maybe not.

"Hey, is this a fiñata?" The other girl said, picking up the deadly thing that Henry should've put somewhere safer. Obviously, someone would think it was just another piece of junk on sale and Jasper was none the wiser to its true, dark nature.

"Oooh, cool, how much for the fiñata?" Piper asked Jasper, thinking that it would be the perfect addition to her friend's party. 

"Lemme check," Jasper said and started to roughly turn the fish around in his hands so he could look for the price tag. If he knew what was inside it, there was no way he'd be shaking it so much.

"We don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Piper sassed as she watched Jasper shuffle the fish around.

"I'm checking for a price tag! I don't see one anywhere." He said, scouring the paper-covered fish for anything that could tell him the asking price. Of course, he wouldn't find one, it should be locked up, not sold to a child.

"Good, it's free then, thanks." Piper snatched the fiñata from Jasper's hands and made a break for the exit before he could stop them.

"The customer is always right!" She yelled at him when he tried to call after them, silencing Jasper as his second sale of the day made off without paying. That fiñata was about to cause him a load more trouble too.

~The Man Cave~

"Pull!" Ray yelled to his three friends as they tightly clutched Charlotte's ankle and tried to yank her from the auto-snack. It just wouldn't let her go.

"She's still stuck! Let her go, you piece of shit!" (y/n) growled and thumbed the hatch with her fist as Charlotte screamed. No matter how hard they pulled, Schwoz's invention kept her prisoner and it sucked her deep into itself, leaving her friends stumped.

"Well, how are we gonna get her outta there?" Ray asked as they panted. Physical exertion was futile.

"Hey, how about this?" Henry suddenly had a bright idea and smacked his palm against the screen.

"Charlotte." He ordered like he was ordering some fries or a milkshake.

"Charlotte." The auto-snacker confirmed and the young girl came flying out the hatch before bellyflopping onto the floor. 

"It worked! Nice one, Hen." (y/n) high-fived Henry as they all celebrated their success. Well, that was easier than they had thought. 

"You okay?" Henry asked his friend as she stood up and dusted herself off. Man, that was an ordeal and she was still starving.

"No, I am not okay! And I still never got my scrambled eggs." She said, walking over to the machine and bending down to look through the window of the machine. This time, however, it seemed to understand her order and a load of hot, steaming scrambled eggs were fired at her face.

"You, uh, you got something..." Ray pointed to her cheek as bits of egg plopped onto the floor.

"That's why I order cereal. Eggs are just bad news." (y/n) quipped, thinking it was pretty funny to see Charlotte's unimpressed face covered in the mess. However, her giggling was soon interrupted when the computer started to beep.

"That's Jasper, upstairs." Henry recognised the special beeping and realised that it was the signal from Junk-N-Stuff.

"Oh god, I told him to press it when there was an emergency." (y/n) panicked, thinking that he was being held at gunpoint or the store was on fire or some other disaster. 

"Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Henry opened the link and saw his friend on the monitor.

"There's two guys here from animal control, asking about some Zom-bees?" He told Henry as Ray and (y/n) wandered over. Well, at least he was using the line correctly, it was better to ask and make sure he was doing the right thing than just assume.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Henry nodded and remembered that he'd left the dangerous insects upstairs, unattended and with a boy who knew nothing about them.

"Yeah, yeah, Jasper, the Zom-bees are inside the purple fiñata," Ray told him, thinking that the matter would be swiftly dealt with, but things were about to get complicated.

"Oh, I sold the fiñata." He told them, making Henry and (y/n) choke on their own saliva as Ray took a minute to process his words.

"Great, then just give it to the guys--you sold the fiñata?!" Ray exclaimed in horror as Jasper remained oblivious to the cock-up he'd made.

"Yeah, and a waterbed." He smiled happily, thinking that his sales so far were good, even though one of them hadn't been paid for.

"Shit on it, wh-who'd you sell it to?" (y/n) asked frantically as she rested her hand on Ray's bicep and looked up at him in worry.

"Piper," Jasper replied, making Henry gasp. His sister? Seriously? Ray ended the call prematurely and peered at his friends with nervous eyes.

"Do you realise what'll happen if those Zom-bees get outta that fiñata?" He questioned the boy, who was seriously freaking out. He couldn't have his sister die from a bee eating her brain!

"Okay, okay, let's not panic about this. I'm sure that Piper just took it home and put it in her bedroom or something." (y/n) told the boy calmly as she theorised that Piper probably wanted it as a decoration. Little did she know that it was currently at a pre-teen's birthday party, being whacked viciously by a load of children looking for candy. They needed to get Jasper with them immediately.

~10 minutes later~

As soon as Jasper had closed up the store and stepped into the Man Cave Henry was all over him, interrogating him about the sale of a ticking time bomb to Piper. There was only a matter of time until the fiñata was smashed open and a load of people were killed.

"How could you give my little sister a fiñata full of death bugs?" The boy asked his friend sternly as Ray paced behind him, just as angry. (y/n) didn't think Jasper was to blame that much, he was just doing his job as they had told him. In the middle of all of this bickering, Charlotte had found a towel and was wiping the egg mush from her face as the argument went on and on.

"Oh, come on! It's not Jasper's fault!" The young woman defended the boy, wanting to be the one who was on his side since everyone else seemed so unfairly angry with him.

"I didn't know there were bugs in it!" Jasper stressed, glad that (y/n) was being so kind to him. He'd never endanger Piper deliberately, especially on his first day at work.

"Well, there are! There's at least fifty Zom-bees inside that fiñata!" Ray hissed, making the poor kid feel worse. He really didn't mean any harm. 

"Okay, yelling at Jasper isn't gonna help anything." Charlotte stepped in too, joining (y/n) in defending Jasper.

"Thank you." He said. He was starting to get the picture that they were the reasonable ones around these parts.

"Do you realise how dangerous those bees are?" Ray looked at the two teens as Henry walked around with his hands on his head. 

"Ya! They fly into your head, through your ears, and then they feed upon your brain!" Schwoz showed them the information on his PearPad and tried to sound all dramatic. He really knew how to stir the pot and make things worse.

"You should not have worn that tie," Charlotte mentioned to Jasper, as she noticed the hotdog pattern on it. Was (y/n) the only one who liked it?

"Okay, just...did my sister say where she was going anywhere?" Henry asked Jasper, who bit his lip as he recalled every word Piper had said to him. There was a lot of shouting from her, but also...

"Uh...yeah! Some friend of hers' birthday party." Jasper remembered and it triggered Henry's memory about something his sister had been banging on about for weeks.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh...Gabby Birch." Henry said the name as Ray and (y/n) dashed over so they could hear everything.

"Who's Gabby Birch?" Ray asked, too panicky to put two and two together.

"Her friend, duh!" (y/n) said as she and Henry reached for their gum tubes. That's right, she had her own tube now, all hers, no one else's and it made her feel like one of the team.

"Come on, let's blow and go," Henry told Ray, who remained still. Why wasn't he snapping into action like them?

"No, are you insane?" He asked them halting their movements before they could pop a gumball.

"What? We need to go grab that death fish!" (y/n) pointed out, but Ray had a fairly good point for holding back.

"We can't just run in there as Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger and be like "Hey, kids! We're here at the party because we were worried that some killer bugs might fly into your heads and eat your brains, happy birthday, Gabby!"," Ray rambled and the sidekicks got the message. They certainly didn't want to freak out a load of children and their parents.

"All right, all right, then...we just gotta sneak in, grab the fiñata and get outta there fast." Henry theorised and the adults agreed. It seemed simple enough, right?

"Oh, come on!" Charlotte protested, seeing a million things wrong with what Henry had just said.

"What?" The boy looked at her, thinking that his plan was perfect.

"How are you guys gonna sneak into a birthday party without being seen?" She asked, making a good point. They could just walk in unannounced, they'd get arrested for trespassing or for being creeps.

"We will need a cunning disguise." (y/n) smirked and rubbed her hands, knowing exactly what would get them into the party. Every kid had them when it was their birthday and it was a sure-fire way to be let in, no questions asked. Hopefully.

~Gabby Birch's Birthday Party~

Well, the party was in full swing: there were balloons, food, cake, music, toys and, of course, the fiñata, which was still being sadistically beaten by numerous little girls. Henry, Ray and (y/n) sneaked in and winced when they saw the rough treatment of the cardboard fish. Their disguises weren't bad, (y/n) had cleverly chosen them to be clowns since they always came to kid's birthday parties, even though no child ever wanted one. Sure, they were creepy, but it gave them the perfect way in.

Both males were wearing alarmingly bright, wacky clothes, face paint and wigs that gave them the clown aesthetic and hid who they were. (y/n) looked equally ridiculous, but also kinda cute in a way and she was sure that as long as no one looked too close, they'd be able to grab the fiñata and get out of there.

"Shit, Henry!" (y/n) gasped as nudged Henry as she saw the fiñata taking its beating and the boy quickly started shaking his boss's shoulder.

"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray!" He panicked, gaining the man's attention fairly quickly as he pointed to the tree where the fish has been strung up.

"What? What?" Ray asked annoyedly, but he was soon gulping like his friends when he saw how the girls were minutes away from breaking the fiñata.

"They're whacking the fiñata!" (y/n) said as Ray gasped, making him put himself in front of her so he'd be the first to be eaten if the Zom-bees escaped. He didn't want his girl to munched on, even if she would be fine, especially since she looked so cute in her little dress. God, it fit her perfectly and he was more than happy to admire her figure.

"I don't get why this stupid fiñata won't break." A girl yelled and her friends began to hit it even harder. This wasn't going to end well.

"Here I found a shovel." Piper came in and was immediately encouraged to beat the fiñata with it. Okay, the superheroes had to act before these kids released the death bugs.

"Dear God, she's using a shovel." Ray cringed as he watched the fish bounce from the shovel to the fiñata sticks and each blow was painful to witness.

"We have to do something." (y/n) hissed in his ear, but before they could, a cheery woman with a drink in her hand addressed them.

"Hello!" She smiled, making the clowns panic. How were they supposed to lie to this mom about being the entertainment at her daughter's party?

"Uhhh...hey."

"Hi, how are you?" Ray and Henry greeted her politely as (y/n) just smiled and waved. This was gonna be fun.

"Oh, I'm Mrs Birch, the birthday girl's mom." The woman introduced herself and shook hands with each clown, all of whom were feeling pretty awkward. They had no idea how to clown around and entertain kids, they just needed to grab the damn fiñata.

"Nice to meet you." (y/n) smiled nervously, but thankfully, Mrs Birch didn't pick up on it.

"Okay, so, which one of you is Burples and which one of you is Schmutz?" She asked, making Henry and Ray both choose the one that sounded better.

"I'm Burples." They said together, not liking the idea of being called Schmutz, but then they both sounded weird.

"I'm Schmutz." They then said together, confusing Mrs Birch and making (y/n) facepalm. This wasn't a good first impression.

"You know, we swap."

"We trade-off." They excused their weirdness and luckily, Mrs Birch took it to be a funny clown joke. 

"You two really are clowns." She laughed, thinking it was a compliment and the annoyed look on the boys' faces made (y/n) giggle too.

"Yes, they are." She confirmed, loving how the woman had called out Ray and Henry's bumbling behaviour, but then, Mrs Birch stopped and thought about how she had one too many clowns in her garden.

"Sorry, I thought we paid for two clowns." She looked at (y/n) who took a moment to think of a believable lie.

"Uh...well, I'm on work experience. Yep, and I'm just gonna be observing these two...being clowns. Free of charge." She punched out nervously, making it up as she went along and the mom seemed to be fine with it, thank god.

"Oh, lovely, what's your clown name?" Mrs Birch asked and again, (y/n) had to think on her feet for something clownish.

"Uhhhh...Phalange. Yeah, I'm Phalange the Clown." She giggled, reverting to her favourite made-up name for every time she went undercover. It was an oldie, but a goodie and it was convincing enough.

"Well, I'll just leave the entertainment up to you guys, then." Mrs Birch smiled and Ray, (y/n) and Henry could let out a sigh of relief as the woman returned to the other parents.

"That'll be great, ma'am, thank you." Ray nodded at her politely as he tried to channel his inner clown. It should be too hard for him, after all, he was a pretty goofy guy.

"Yes, we are professional clowns." Henry tried to sound convincing like he really was a guy who painted his face and wore baggy pants to entertain kids.

"Ain't that the truth." (y/n) added, smirking at the boy as Ray pulled them to the side. They got up to so much mischief, they probably could pass as clowns sometimes.

"Dang it, they're gonna break that thing open any second!" Ray complained as he watch the kids still whacking the fiñata.

"And then snack time for all those Zom-bees and bye-bye brains for everyone here." The young woman freaked out too, looking to her best friend for any ideas.

"Uh, ooh, I got a plan, I got a plan," Henry told them and before he could discuss it with the adults, he stepped towards the children and started to work his inner clown.

"Hey, kids! Hey! Hey kids, over here!" He yelled at them in a funny voice, baffling Ray and (y/n) as the kids looked at the weirdo trying to get their attention.

"What are you doin'?" Ray asked the boy, thinking that he looked and sounded ridiculous, but it was fine. Henry had a plan.

"Shhhhh!" Henry shut him up and returned his focus to the bored expressions of the children. Yeah, no one likes clowns.

"What?" Piper asked, feeling just as annoyed as all her friends at the rude interruption. She was gonna break this fiñata open if it was the last thing she'd do. And if she did, it probably would be.

"You wanna know what's more fun than whackin' a fiñata?" Henry jumped up and down and acted like all the clowns he'd seen at the birthday parties he'd attended over the years.

"Tell us!" The kids demanded, hoping that his suggestion would be worth them stopping their attack.

"Whackin' Burples the Clown!" Henry pointed at Ray with a huge grin on his face as (y/n) and Ray shared a nervous look. Why did Ray have to be the one who got beat up? Just because he was indestructible, didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

"No, no, no, no, no." Ray rejected the idea as the kids cheered. Whacking a real person seemed a lot more fun than whacking that stupid fish.

"You're indestructible!" Henry hissed to Ray, thinking that he was the best candidate for the job.

"So?" Ray looked at his sidekick in offence and then at his girl for help. She wasn't keen on the idea of seeing him getting beaten by a load of children, but they didn't have a better idea.

"So just take it or (y/n) will have to be the one who gets whacked!" Henry hissed in his ear and Ray swiftly sucked it up. Damn Henry, he knew his weakness; he'd never let his sweet girl take the pain when he was more than capable of doing so and the boy knew it. That's why he was busy dragging (y/n) off to the side as the kids ran over with their bats, sticks, shovels and planks of wood. Oh dear god, this would hurt.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Ray groaned at the first few hits came in and (y/n) whimpered at the sight of him being treated so cruelly. Why did these children have to love hurting people so much?

"(y/n), come on, he'll be fine," Henry promised the young woman and she knew he was right. Taking advantage of all the focus being on Ray as he tried to escape the kids' malice, the boy and woman sneaked through the garden and avoided the parent's gaze as they went for the fiñata.

Henry tried to snag it from the tree, but it was no use. Whoever had tied it on knew what they were doing and it would take more than a few tugs to set the fiñata free.

"You're gonna have to pull harder!" (y/n) hissed to the boy as he used all his weight to try and snap the string. Things were never easy; luckily, Ray was taking to blows like a champ and the parents were too busy nattering to realise what was going on. Seeing that he had an opportunity, Henry jumped onto the fish and used all his strength to climb up the string to the branch whilst (y/n) kept a lookout.

"Keep going, Burples!" She cheered on her best friend as he was hit by the hammers and bricks, but they soon had another problem on their hands. The garden gate swung open and two more clowns joined the party. Oh, shit, here came the real Burples and Schmutz.

"Hey, hey, who are those clowns?" Henry and (y/n) looked to see that they had company and gulped when the new clowns gave them some very dirty stares. 

"That clown ain't supposed to be here!"

"Yeah, we booked this job!" The real clowns snapped as the kids stopped whacking Ray, who was suddenly just as nervous as his sidekicks.

"Uh, look uh, there's a perfectly rational explanation---" Ray tried to keep things calm between himself and the men, but they were obviously very protective over their gigs.

"Why don't you shut up and get outta here!" A clown squared up to Ray, who wasn't the sort of guy to take that kind of attitude lying down.

"Keep trying to get that thing down!" (y/n) hissed to Henry, who nodded as she went to stand in between Ray and the angry clowns.

"Uh, are you guys threatening me?" Ray asked the men as his best friend came to his side, but he wasn't going to let her get hurt, not against these losers.

"Maybe..." The clown replied and jabbed Ray in the nose with a mean right hook, shocking (y/n) and Henry as they watched their friend take the hit. Oh, it was on.

"Ah!" Ray clutched his nose as he waited for the pain to fade, but (y/n)'s temper had flared and she wasn't going to let these two clown jerks hurt the man she loved.

"Okay, Burples, is that how you wanna play?!" She hissed at the man, her eyes burning with fury as she stepped up to the plate. She was taunting them, daring them to make a move and then, she'd give them what for.

"Go back to the gutter, bitch. It's where you belong." The other man growled at her, not realising that he could insult or hit Ray all he liked, but insulting (y/n) made the superhero furious. She didn't deserve to be spoken to so rudely, not be some two-bit clown in a crappy costume and Ray wasn't going to let them get away with it.

"Oh, that's it! You don't talk about her like that! You're going down, clown!" Ray growled at them as he stepped in front of his girl, ready to defend her honour. It enraged the man to see her be mistreated and the protective streak in his DNA told him to keep her safe at all costs from the morons and their harsh words.

"Come on!" The clowns put up their fists, preparing to swing again, but they didn't realise that they had just picked a battle with Captain Man and insulted the woman he loved. They were playing with fire.

"Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight!" The kids and parents began to chant with Piper being to ringleader as Ray circled the two men and Henry tried his hardest to get the fiñata to budge.

He jumped up and down on it and finally, it gave way, but Henry couldn't control his landing and he accidentally squished the fish as he fell on the ground. He and (y/n) watched in horror as the death bugs began to fly out of the fiñata, searching for their targets.

"The Zom-bees!" Ray shrieked as he saw the insects spread out and his hands flew to his head to protect his brain.

"Everyone! Cover your ears!" (y/n) screamed to the kids as she got in front of them, hoping that the bees would pick her brain to eat on and not theirs. However, it seemed that they were particularly focused on the two asshole clowns, who had covered their ears too late and were screeching in pain.

"It's hurting my brain!" They screamed as Ray opened the gate for them to run out and they took the Zom-bees with them. Well, that was that dilemma solved. Wherever the bees would go, it wasn't their problem anymore. All they had to worry about was how to explain what had just happened to the terrified kids and their parents.

"Uhhhh...Happy birthday, Gabby!" (y/n) nudged the boys for them to join her and they all smiled as brightly as they could at the little girl. Now, they just needed to get out of the garden before...

"Whoa, clowns? Mister and Missus Clowns?" Mrs Birch stopped them before they could open the gate and the three looked at her sheepishly, hoping she wasn't gonna call the cops on them.

"Yeah, what's up?" Ray and Henry asked politely, hoping that whatever she wanted wouldn't take too long.

"You're supposed to stay and entertain the children until five o'clock. That's, uh...two more hours." She smiled at them as she checked her watch. Two hours, ew, no thank you.

"Oh, uhhhhh." Ray stumbled and looked to (y/n) for an excuse. She was normally good at making things up.

"Oh, well, ma'am, the thing is, you see---" The young woman rambled, wracking her brain for an excuse, but she was cut off when Piper ran over to them with something to say.

"Hey! Gabby wants you clowns to make some stuff with balloons." She told them and Mrs Birch smiled at the idea. That would give them something to do.

"But we gotta go..." Ray shuddered at the murderous glare that Piper was giving him and his excuse dried up in his mouth.

"So do it." She hissed. Looks like they had no choice.

~

Well, this sucked. Making balloon animals was a lot harder than it looked in the movies or on TV and Henry was struggling to come up with something good. At least Ray and (y/n) had an idea of what to do.

"Look, kids, aeroplane." Ray presented his balloon creation with a bored voice and twirled the propeller to make them clap. To be fair, it was quite impressive that he was able to make one.

"Look, kids, a dog." (y/n) showed them her much simpler design and then passed it to a girl at the front as she rubbed her sore hands together. The balloons had snapped and rubbed them as she twisted the latex into something resembling an animal, but at least they were soon healing over. The perks of being a superhero.

"How people do this for a living is beyond me." She grumbled quietly to Ray as they waited for Henry to finish his masterpiece. Ray saw her discomfort and took a hand into his so he could try and massage away the pain. They'd get better on their own instantly, but he wanted an excuse to hold her hand and she was happy to let him go for it.

"Uh, look I made an X." Henry smiled nervously at the children and held his untied balloons together. He was useless at balloon-art and unfortunately, this was the best he could do.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. How much more of this do we have to do?" (y/n) asked the woman as Henry was just too painful to watch. Hopefully, they had killed a bit of time making their works. 

"An hour and fifty-five minutes." Maybe not. They still had ages left and barely any energy.

"Oh, god." Ray groaned and Henry handed him his balloons. It was mundane and agitating for the couple, who knew that they had much better things to do with their time than mess about for children, but it was okay.

Much better things were about to come their way.

[cheeeeep]

I remember things were slowly getting better, two steps forward one step back but always moving forward.

I live in a conservative area so I'm speaking from own experience.

We had pride parade that went through our town. We had family friendly events during the day. Yes drag is considered misogynistic but there was something nice about taking my younger siblings to get their faces painted (rainbows and butterflies stuff like that) by drag queens, then we'd go do art at the art gallery and then get food from a local restaurants food truck. They had fundraisers for LGBTQ youth shelters, and talks about how we are all one community. Even some progressive non denomination Christian churches were there in support. We had musical performances. It was so fun.

Sure at night the bars got wild but those were adult only events.

But then I had to stop taking my siblings because the kink people started coming out during the day. Men in latex dog masks and doms walking around with people on leashes. Weird shit.

And when you brought it up you were met with bullshit about how important sex is to the community and we shouldn't "shame" people.

The following year less people went.

Then there was the infighting about identity and why were white cis voices the head of everything. This pride we will focus on pronouns and non binary identity. Trans people of color and then trans people should lead the march because that's "how pride started". No police at the events (which is like I understand police are not the ally but large events by law need to have a police presence).

No more rainbow washing, corporations just want our spaces to advertise. ( Who is going to pay for all this? And while it is valid ,we do live in a capitalist society so we need companies to be outloud that " yes your money is good here, yes you can get loans here." As opposed to before where there was legal discrimination against LGBTQ people at these institutions).

I had already removed myself from those communities by the time I heard that pride was being cancelled by it's own community.

It never came back how it used to. No parade. Maybe some events in the town square and bars would have pride events. Even after the pandemic, nothing really has come back.

I wonder what all the protesters did because their job was done for them.

And I guess that's why I'll always be bitter and angry about this because it's all regressive.

And before I start rambling I really do think the way things are going will back fire.

We went from "we are just like you we are apart of your wider community" to all this weird stuff and othering of people in their own community.