#I need ep 5 like right now
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jemmo · 6 months ago
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the more i think about i hear the sunspot the more i realise i am absolutely fucking obsessed with taichi as a character, and after ep 4 i feel like we’re on the cusp of something great with him. bc taichi is such a face-value simple character. he’s loud and boisterous and carefree and has no problem taking space and expressing himself. throughout all these episodes, he conveys how he feels so clearly, it all starts with this clear expression of hunger, and when he’s given food by someone, he doesn’t think twice, he just eats. it’s easy. he doesn’t overthink it. and when he thinks something about kohei, he just says it, he defends him easily, he tells him he should ask people to repeat themselves to him bc it’s simple, it’s not something you should overthink, if you can’t hear, ask someone to say it again. he tells him he likes to see him smiling, and when kohei starts ignoring him, he says plainly, you’re ignoring me, i don’t like it, stop it. there is a one way train from taichi’s thoughts and what he says, and there’s no stops along the way.
but the thing is, he’s now encountering things that makes him think. first with miho, he has a direct conflict between being honest and telling kohei about their meeting and what she said when kohei asks, and protecting someone from something hurtful. plus the question lingers if there’s any other reason why he doesn’t want to say, bc admitting to meeting her means admitting he liked her enough to think she was asking him out? bc telling kohei someone likes him conflicts with the fact he likes him? taichi is not used to complicated, or more, he doesn’t linger on complicated. if his parents divorce and his behaviour conveys anything, it’s that when met with a complicated and hurtful situation, instead of confronting it, he acted out, and later let his sunny demeanour cover up any more complicated emotions.
and what’s more, it’s taichi’s kindness towards kohei, the way he cares and supports and encourages him that’s brought him to this point of having to face something complicated. this idea is shown when taichi talks about the hamburger patties and the story of his grandpa cooking one as this act of kindness when he was going through a hard time. it’s a rare time we see taichi without his brightness, but kohei doesn’t hear. and taichi tries dismisses it, but kohei doesn’t let him, bc taichi’s the one that told him he’s allowed to ask people to repeat themselves and shouldn’t feel bad about it, so he makes taichi repeat himself and taichi does. he’s made to think about those complicated feelings again, and what’s more, made to convey them openly to someone. and now we have kohei’s confession, an act that wouldn’t have happened without taichi’s care and encouragement during the time they’ve known each other, both bc that’s what makes kohei like him and what makes him brave enough to say it. and taichi is make to confront complicated feelings once again. which is why i can’t wait to see how he reacts in this next episode. he’s now faced by something both complicated and something he cannot avoid or brush over, so how will he deal with someone else’s feelings and complicated situation, kohei’s hearing loss, and more so, how will he deal with having to look at and understand his own feelings? it’s safe to say i cannot wait for ep 5.
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babacontainsmultitudes · 6 months ago
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
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edge-oftheworld · 9 months ago
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maybe hot take but I actually think close my eyes is sadder than wfttwtaf as a whole. like wfttwtaf as an album could be reflecting on a moment of crisis, spiralling from the shock of getting back from holiday and realising you feel so behind in everything youre trying to do that you don’t ever know if it’ll be okay and it just reminds you of everything else that’s going on—ending with a song about how you can face it, how you’ve been doing the same thing again and again but expecting different outcomes your whole life but now you’re aware of it (with the implications that maybe you’ll try things different now). even diamonds is a testament of survival; I’m so much older than I ever though I would be; of your worries coming to nothing, it was always going to be fine in the end. even mum is the victory of actually reaching out to someone who can genuinely help for the first time, letting them in, not worrying anymore about making them worry for you but deciding that doing what it takes to survive is better and to stick around for them you’ve gotta let them help. but close my eyes is just ‘I regret my entire life’ and I genuinely don’t know how to put a positive spin on it
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 22 days ago
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rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses
#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye#maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about#you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent#you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful#i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on#no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on#2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid#swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid#3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again#but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she#4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf#and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them#get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand#but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot#5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child#damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again#i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills#turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more#actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon#making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting#more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence#swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together#yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff#i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it#leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff#more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer#i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it#like zoom the fuck out pls
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givemebackmypills · 1 year ago
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bewitching-666 · 9 months ago
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aflockofravens · 1 year ago
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We're starting two new animes this week because why the fuck not.
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three--rings · 1 year ago
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One thing I haven't seen a lot of talk about in the fandom so far is about the financials of this season.
It took us two whole months to get a confirmation of renewal from Max, and I talked at the time that I think there was probably a lot of heated negotiations going on at the time with contracts and that's why it took as long as it did.
I think we see a huge number of indications of the compromises that were made in order for S2 to be made. One obvious one that has been talked about is being making in in NZ instead of LA, to save $.
But there's also the eight episodes instead of ten. And then the cast aspect. One downside of moving overseas was having to fly out and house the cast, not just pay day wages.
We knew immediately about Guz Khan not coming back, losing Ivan as a character. At the time I was sad but I thought it had the air of a pretty harshly practical call. If you went through the main recurring cast and said okay which character will affect the fewest things, has the least character interactions of anyone? It would be Ivan. (With the only competition being The Swede IMO, but he's Stede's crew and therefore a little more central.)
And then this season started and we got first The Swede sidelined and taken out of major scenes. And then I noticed that different members of the crew were simply absent for long stretches, like Wee John isn't around for ep 5 at all. And then Buttons takes flight.
Lucius and Pete aren't at the party for most of it. Fang isn't in the torture scene. Roach and Fang aren't in the bar. Etc. SCHEDULING IS HAPPENING.
The new characters are almost entirely played by NZ local actors, which is great, but also...cheaper.
In other words there are big signs that they did everything possible to give us a giant cast of almost everyone we love from S1, and cool new characters, in the most economical way possible.
And I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful we got S2, and it looks great, and it's well written, I'm having a blast, and we get to spend more time with this awesome cast.
But I also kinda think it needs to be said that the cost-cutting shows. That it shouldn't have been only 8 episodes, the pacing is off. That we miss every time someone from the ensemble isn't on screen.
That despite what they've put on screen looking very good, there's far less costuming budget, there's less elaborate sets, and it's a little disappointing. And it's clear it's not a lack of will or talent or vision but blatantly lack of money.
Look, streaming networks want brilliant shows that people love (that will get them to subscribe) but they very don't want to pay anyone to make them. That's like, the whole moment we're having right now.
Max puts out promos about how great it is to not have unions messing shit up in NZ. Well I have friends who are union costumers in LA and guess what union costumers did amazing last season. This season, well, I guess Stede got three whole shirts, so that's cool.
So I dunno. It's just stuff I think about. I'm not trying to be negative about the show in any way. I'm extremely happy with this season; I love it more than well, possibly any show I've ever been in fandom for.
But I see you, Max. You're cheap. You weren't that cheap when you were called HBO.
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kaisaerinlover · 7 days ago
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inspired by @twijaxx take on the kaiser scene at the end of ep 14 😍😍😍
imagine kaiser booked a nice little hotel getaway for you both to get a way for a bit on his break, a really rare occurrence for him. he barely ever gets a break from football so it’s nice to escape once in a while and have some normalcy. berlin is a really nice city too, and kaiser’s pockets are deep enough to afford the best of the best. that’s why you’re both sitting on the balcony after his shower, sipping at champagne worth more money than either of you could have envisioned a few years ago. kaiser likes treating himself to the luxuries of life; expensive champagne, 5 star hotels, designer robes, exquisite jewellery. but most of all you. you are the greatest luxury of them all.
and you know how to use that nice little mouth you have on you as well - so almost every single night like this ends with you on your knees sucking his cock, taking it so well.
and tonight isn’t any different, he’s a bit drunk, you’re sober. he throws you that charming smirk that no girl can resist, not even you, and you know what he wants. the city is so beautiful at this time. it’s a shame your view is obstructed by his cock, or not, you like the sight and he knows you do. he has you on your knees beneath the opaque table, has you at his feet exactly where he likes you, almost spoon feeding you his length. and you open your mouth so meekly. so willing and so obedient for him just how he likes it.
you know you’re doing a good job the way his hand is tangled in your hair and he’s pushing your head down on his cock so hard your nose is smashed into his pubic bone. but neither of you care; you’re both as disgusting and perverted as each other. “keep going f’ me baby” he breathes out. and he feels like he’s about to cum, he really does, until his phone vibrates on the table. you expect him to not answer because of the way he growls in such an irritated manner, until you hear him breathe a sigh of relief. before he can even answer you stop sucking him and look up at him with big pouty eyes. “micha are you really gonna answer at a time like this?” god he wants to destroy you, he really fucking does. looking at you with saliva coating your pretty pink lips and teary eyes whilst you’re on your knees looking so desperate to have his dick lodged in your throat again, you’re a sight for sore eyes. but he just rolls his eyes and snaps at you “obviously, if i was going to press answer before you stopped sucking me, stupid whore” you’re used to his chastising at this point. so you just whine up at him, before he shuts you up again with one thrust of his cock back in your mouth. you’re mad, you look ridiculous with your angry pouting face and his shaft in your mouth. he does a shushing motion to you before he starts speaking on the phone.
he knows you won’t do anything against him, so he just leaves you to cockwarm him whilst he talks. you’re dumb and malleable, so he knows the call doesn’t need to be made in private. every so often he leans down and smacks your cheek affectionately, but god. the wait is so fucking agonising. it really feels like it’s been an hour. you just want to taste his cum, feel his cock, have his fingers inside you, anything. but you’re forced to sit on your knees whilst he makes some stupid call.
so you do something a little unprecedented, especially for a girl who kaiser thought was so obedient. you stand up from where you were originally kneeling and sit yourself down on his cock. and boy is he mad, he’s never shoved his hands over a phone speaker so fast. “what are you doing you fucking idiot?” his words are sharp and he hisses them at you. you just whine back at him. “you’re making me wait too long- don’t w-wanna wait- ah” he wants to fucking punch you right now, wants to grab your jaw and break it. he really fucking does. thank god he’s holding his hand over the speaker or they’d hear those precious moans that only HE deserves to hear. kaiser is really angry at you, but this call is important, so he simply brings his mouth to your ear and whispers, “fine stay like this then, but you better be a good fucking girl yeah? behave or you won’t cum tonight.” and you’re elated, you really are. you feel so full with his cock inside you. kaiser just dead eyes you and goes back to talking with whoever is on the other end. some boring football stuff, you suppose.
but god, this is even more agonising than before now; you stupid horny little thing. it’s even worse now, you wanna bounce on his cock so bad. you want him to fuck you so hard oh so desperately, but if you move you know you’re in trouble. he has one hand holding his phone to his ear as he talks and the other twirling pieces of your hair around his finger as he stares off into the serene view of the city. god you hate this, you hate it so much. you hate how sweetly he’s playing with your locks, how the city is so fucking peaceful and boring, and how he’s not doing anything. kaiser is a man who knows how to control all of his stimuli, he’s toying with you, you’re too stupid to realise it. he wants to laugh at you and your pathetic state, but he can’t; he has matters to attend to!
your pretty little head is filled with nothing except thoughts of how hard you want him to bang you on this stupid little table. how you want him to just bend you over and fuck the living shit out of you. but he’s still talking. you’re so desperate, poor stupid you, you contemplate moving despite his words. but that won’t end well. but i called you stupid for a reason, you did it anyway! you try to do it as lightly as you can; you really swear! you’d never want to anger your boyfriend on purpose. but it’s on his fucking cock you idiot. you think he can’t feel it. he growls in your ear, getting agitated now “listen you fucking whore, if you can’t even wait a few minutes for me to finish talking what does that say about you?” he’s insulting your self control. it’s true you’re so pathetic. but he keeps going to your surprise, having muted his end of the line to give you this scolding. “pull that shit on me again you little bitch and i swear to fucking god i will leave you like this and i won’t touch you ever again. understand?” he’s angry, and you gulp. kaiser’s wrath is not something anyone would ever want to face. but you’re so desperate, you beg, you plead for him to reconsider “p-please- can’t wait more- i can’t micha i can’t i can’t i ca-“ and god does your sweet begging just make him even harder. pisses him off even more. he has your throat in his tattooed hand now. “i said, do you understand, don’t make me ask again, engelchen” engelchen, what an ironic nickname for what you’re doing right now. “mmmhm- micha-“ he slaps you a bit. “use your words or i might not know what you mean, baby” he’s such a fucking tease. it’s so hard to speak without moaning, and you know if you get him in trouble he’ll be super pissed. that’s a line you don’t wanna cross for sure. “u-understand micha-“ and he glares at you. but he releases his grip, picks up his phone and praises you before he unmutes himself again. “good girl, wait a few more minutes yeah? then i’ll give you what you want.”
those few minutes were the most painful minutes of your life. even torture couldn’t compare to this. you want him so fucking bad, you’re like a bunny in heat, and he forced you to wait and sit still the entire time. if you so much as moved he shot you a look so cold and mean it could probably kill the average person. you’re used to it; and you hate the fact it turned you on even more. you’re literally foaming at the mouth, bless your poor soul. you don’t even realise when your boyfriend finally hangs up the phone until he grips your waist again and takes a swig of his champagne. ready? and you’re so ready, oh you’re so fucking ready, you nod so eagerly - when you hear the glass clink on the table and feel him picking you up off his lap you know what’s coming.
it’s like heaven when he bends your sweet little ass over the table and fucks you into oblivion. you whined so much, god your moans are music to his ears. the neighbours probably thought there was an early christmas choir with all the slapping and the noises. no; that’s just you and your boyfriend’s disgustingly crude display of love. kaiser is a rough fucker, and today is no different; well, yes it is. he’s mad at you, he’s so mad, you can tell from the way he’s holding your head down against the table and smashing his fat girth so hard into your little cunt. you might just split open. it wouldn’t surprise you. but who cares? this is like heaven.
all of his rage from your stupid, impatient, slutty antics is poured into each thrust. after he was nice enough to let you sit on his lap? “you fucking slut, you- ah- deserve this so much-“ he condescends you as he pounds your little backside. your pussy is aching and his cock is filling you up and hitting the right places so well. he pulls your face up by the hair just enough for you to be able to respond to him. he wants to hear you. “m-michaaa- hard-der- more- micha- ‘m sorry- love you- love your cock- love you lo-love you-“ your cries are so cute. he loves your teary face and your desperate whines. with a final hard thrust he finally finishes inside of you. and just the feeling of his hot cum in your womb is enough to give you an orgasm too. the feeling of him inside you is incredible. you’re kinda like a jigsaw puzzle; you want to laugh at that thought. that would be a really disgusting puzzle.
when he finally pulls out, your saliva from before and his cum drip out of your pussy. there’s slick rolling down your legs and your hair is all messed up. he doesn’t like seeing his essence leak out of you though, so he roughly pushes it back in with two fingers and leans down to peck your forehead. “today i was nice, you and me both know that. fix up your act, prinzessin” and all you can do is nod, you both know nothing will change, you’re a cockdrunk little slut. but you can pretend, you’re both good at that. all you can do is pant as you feel him lift you into his arms and lean into his chest.
tonight’s sleep is gonna hit so different.
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kinardsboy · 2 months ago
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This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting “too gay” in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Lou’s incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as “safe” which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-
All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.
They can’t possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, “NO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!”
Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?
I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.
A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They don’t want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.
There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the “woman” in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the “mom”
Buck and Tommy’s relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide “top” and “bottom” but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.
Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.
A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise he’s meant only for Eddie’s pleasure.
Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for
letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or “train” the bad out of him
While Eddie was the “trainer” in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.
And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buck’s character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who can’t even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a “mother figure” to Chris, that his “dream role” would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..
When none of that is Buck.
Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.
Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable
(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they don’t actually like?)
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edge-oftheworld · 4 months ago
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while we’re in the spirit of celebrating basic autonomy over things like hair I know most of us are too young to have participated in anything at the time but as a society we really need to apologise to britney for a certain event circa 2007
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love-belle · 1 year ago
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i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.
or
for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3
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yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all
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username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS
username you were driving fast??? i was holding back??? and i loved you babe??? but i bet u knew that???
username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has
username I MEANT DON'T GO IT CAME OUT AS GOODBYE U SAID FINE WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE SAID WE COULD TRY
username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U
username lewis hamilton watch ur back
username tears are streaming down what the fuck
username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP
username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything
username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭
landonorris nice album 👍
-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners
-> yourusername unlike u in the last race
-> landonorris UNPROVOKED
-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS
username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?
username need lewis to blind react to this NOW
username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER
username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???
-> username right like i would litch never show my face again
-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP
username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something
username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN
-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)
carmenmmundt so proud 🩷
-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH
username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO
username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT
username im in shambles whatcthe fufk
lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT
-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU
username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME
-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED
username she did NOT hold back
-> username committed several felonies one by one
-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK
username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD
username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears
charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".
-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that
-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT
-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT
username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N
username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭
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lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago
16,689 comments
username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK
username nah im like wtf
username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????
username nah the audacity of men sometimes
username im going feral wgatctefuck
landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same
-> lewishamilton lando?
username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it
username the way i know he cried while hitting post
-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up
username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔
username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????
-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv
-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"
-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭
username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her
-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP
username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again
maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.
-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?
-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC
-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed
username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf
-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS
-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk
-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK
-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO
-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔
-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf
georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???
-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me
-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE
-> username russell george i am shook
-> username omg he's madddddd
username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise
-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone
-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this
-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to
-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment
-> username roscoe barked at him
mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff
-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.
-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff
-> maxverstappen1 yes we will
-> charles_leclerc yes we will
-> carlossainz55 yes we will
-> landonorris yes we will
-> oscarpiastri yes we will
-> danielricciardo yes we will
-> fernandoalo_official yes we will
-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others
yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours
comments on this post have been limited
username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK
username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other
username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW
username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️
username i will forever remember the y/nlewis era 💔💔💔💔💔
username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce
username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(
charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing
-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing
-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT
-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE
username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like
username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER
-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other
username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance
roscoelovescoco not cools mum's
-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS
-> username IM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK
username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT
lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡
-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU
username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS
username i screamed
username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS
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starlightkun · 2 months ago
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⏯ word count: 13.7k ⏯ genre: band au, punk band frontman!shotaro, venue manager!reader, shotaro is whipped, reader is emotionally unavailable, is it a slowish burn or is it angst?, whatever it is ur reading a starlightkun fic so there’s a happy ending :), ft. eunseok/sungchan/wonbin as shotaro’s bandmates welcome back boys & wayv as reader’s coworkers ⏯ warnings: some blood/violence (shotaro gets punched once), not necessarily a warning but since i do generally avoid describing the reader’s appearance in my fics, i wanted to give a heads up—reader works at a punk/alternative concert venue and is generally in/around that scene. reader is mentioned and/or implied to have some tattoos and piercings (other than earlobes) ⏯ extra info: set in the same universe as filler episodes, but u don’t need to read that in order to understand this one, filler eps!sungchan and sugarcoated!shotaro r just in the same band! also the title is from a 5sos song lol ⏯ author’s note: sooo after writing filler episodes and experiencing bbb/lucky shotaro, i couldn’t get punk band frontman shotaro out of my head… i fear the trajectory of my life has been altered ⏯ now playing… empty wallets – 5 seconds of summer | apathy is boring – bears in trees | dreaming girl – xdinary heroes
── ⋆⋅♫⋅⋆ find more stories from backstage at venue:hell here!
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“You’re not stupid. I know you’re not.” He stood up, stepping closer to you. “You always stop yourself right before… I’m sure you think you’re not leading me on or whatever, but I know you know how stupidly head over heels I am for you, because I don’t try to hide it.”
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Flipping through your keyring, you selected the right key by touch in order to unlock the rear entrance to the venue. Despite the sweltering summer heat outside, the basement was cool as always. You flipped the AC and lights on as you disabled the alarm that wasn’t actually connected to a security company, then descended the stairs. Venue:Hell, your home away from home. Actually, you were pretty sure you spent more time here than your apartment some weeks.
Your phone buzzed with a text as you crossed the threshold into the back office, and you opened it as you flopped into the creaky office chair.
[kun: attached image]
[kun: new schedule for the month. y/n, don’t forget that you’re covering the new weekly act starting today]
It was your manager, and you read over the list of events for this week with mild interest. The two of you had already discussed that you’d be taking over being point with Venue:Hell’s weekly spot. The venue had a recurring local act come in every week to perform, typically a smaller artist, to help them build a base among your regulars. These guys had recently opened for one of your previous weekly acts on a national tour and your manager liked them enough to ask them to fill in the weekly spot when the tour made a stop here. You’d had that particular night off, so this was going to be your first time meeting the band.
As you went through your usual opening checklist, other employees filtered in, starting on their tasks. The venue usually provided all the staff and equipment for the weekly act. They just needed to show up and perform.
You were with your sound guy Yangyang by his equipment when you heard your name being called from elsewhere in the building.
“Yeah?” You yelled back, walking out from behind the curtain to look around for whoever it was.
Ten, who worked the front, was approaching with four guys in tow, instrument cases in hand. Must be the new band.
“New weekly is here!” He called out.
You hopped down off the stage to meet them on the main floor. “You guys are early.”
The band looked at each other, obviously worried. One that had a guitar case on his back spoke up uncertainly, “Is that a problem? We weren’t sure—”
“No, it’s fine. I’m pretty sure it’s a first, though,” you snickered.
“You got them?” Ten asked you. “Kunhang said he needed help.”
“Go for it,” you nodded, dismissing your coworker from the group.
Looking back at the four guys that you were left with, you started your spiel. “So, I’m Y/N, assistant manager at Venue:Hell. If you ever have any questions, need anything, let me know. I’m sure Kun already explained how our weekly spot works, but you guys will perform here every Thursday at 10:00 and have a forty-five-minute slot. It’s not exactly primetime, but it’s consistent and we have a good pool of regulars. You’ll also have priority for inclusion on lineups for any special events we host. If your weekly slot ever needs to be moved or canceled, we’ll give you as much of a heads-up as we can, but sometimes it will be very last-minute. If you ever need to miss a week, we ask the same from you, tell us as soon as possible. Make sense?”
You got four hasty nods in return.
“Great, let me show you to your green room.” Just as you were about to turn around and head off, you realized something. “Ah shit, I completely forgot to ask your name. Sorry.”
The guitarist that had spoken earlier offered you a big smile. His ears were adorned with metal, and you spotted some jewelry glinting from his nose, lip, and eyebrow too. His hair sort of reminded you of a dalmatian, a light blonde base with spots of dark black streaking through it. Overall, fit right in with the scene, except for his smile, which seemed to be made of sunshine and rainbows or something cheesy like that. You swore you needed sunglasses just looking at him.
“I’m Osaki Shotaro, uh, guitar, and I sing!” He informed you cheerily. “It’s really nice to meet you.”
“Jung Sungchan, drums,” the tallest one nodded. “And our band is called Roses for Eyes, by the way. Since Taro here forget to mention that.”
He slapped his friend on the shoulder, making Shotaro wince.
“Right…” Shotaro rubbed his neck. “You-You can also call me Taro, too, by the way. Everyone does. Like boba tea!”
“Cool.” You nodded, looking at the other two expectantly.
“Eunseok, I’m the bassist,” another introduced himself. “Sing a bit, I guess.”
The last one, with dark black hair save for a single hot pink streak in his bangs, gave a small wave. “Park Wonbin. Guitar and I sing too.”
“I like the pink,” you commented, then pivoted on your heel. “Okay, I’ll show you your green room.”
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“So what do you think?” Yangyang asked you as he fiddled with his equipment, and you helped him go over his checklists.
“I think it sounds fine,” you replied, checking that step off.
“I meant about the new weekly.”
“Oh, they seem fine,” you shrugged. “You worked the night they were here last time, right? What did you think?”
“Their sound’s good.”
“And Kun obviously liked them.”
“Do you think they’ll be a pain to work with?”
“Hm?” You thought on your sparse interactions with the members of Roses for Eyes, the introductions, and then Shotaro had asked you where the restroom was. “No, I think they’ll be fine. I don’t know, Yang, it hasn’t even been their first day. There’s time yet for them to turn into assholes.”
Footsteps approaching made you glance over your shoulder. It was the drummer… Sungchan, you were pretty sure. He seemed to be heading straight for you, and you looked at him with your eyebrows raised.
“Do you need something?” You asked him expectantly, listening to Yangyang call out that the next step was clear.
“Not me, but yes,” he answered sheepishly.
You held his eye contact, arching an eyebrow.
“It’s Taro,” the drummer continued. “He’s good, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that he kind of uhm, loses things a lot? Especially his in-ears.”
“Has he lost them already?” You checked your watch. “Your soundcheck is in five minutes.”
“Yeah…”
You sighed and held the clipboard out towards Yangyang, “You got this?”
He saluted you, “Yes, ma’am.”
You turned back to Sungchan, “Where’s the last place he saw them?”
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“I told Sungchan not to tell you, I’m sorry,” Shotaro apologized as the two of you retraced his steps starting from the van they had arrived in.
“I told you guys—If you need anything, let me know,” you grunted, climbing over a spare amp in the back to look under the seats.
“This is just so embarrassing,” he complained, rifling through the glovebox.
“Hey, it’s your first performance as our new weekly, it’d be weirder if it went over perfectly.”
“I meant you having to search through our nasty van with me for them. Just being a few minutes late to soundcheck, I could deal.”
“It’s fine, Shotaro, I’ve done worse, promise.”
His big eyes peered at you inquisitively over the headrests of the front seats. “Like what?”
“I think we’ve scoured every inch of the inside of this thing,” you declared, wiping sweat off your brow with the hem of your shirt. “Have you checked under it?”
Shotaro was still staring at you.
“I’ll look.” You sighed and hopped out of the back of the van.
“No, I’ve got it!” He suddenly scrambled into action, dropping to his hands and knees on the gravel next to the vehicle to scour the ground underneath it.
You, meanwhile, kept your eyes peeled for the immediate vicinity of the parking lot around it. Finally, off in the direction towards the building next door, something caught your eye. You wandered over, picking up a square, black case. Flipping it open, sure enough, there was a pair of in-ears, one bright green and the other bright purple.
Walking back over to the van, you stopped next to the guitarist, who was still looking under it. “Shotaro.”
“Huh?” Thunk. “Fuck!”
“Watch your head,” you said dryly as he carefully extricated himself from under the van this time. You shook the case at him. “These yours?”
He lit up as soon as he saw the equipment. “Yes! Oh my god! Where were they?”
“Over by the neighbors.” You jerked a thumb at the building.
“Ohhh, right! There was a cat over there that I took a picture of when we got here. Do you want to see it?” He was already digging around in his pocket for his phone.
“No. Focus.”
“Right.” He reached for the case, but you snatched them out of his grasp before he could touch it.
“I don’t think so.”
Shotaro’s face turned endearingly confused. “What?”
“We’re not doing this again,” you declared. “These are mine now. When they are not inside of your ears, they’re mine. You will come get them from me before every performance and return them to me as soon as you get off the stage. If you do not need to take them somewhere else before next week, they’ll stay here with me the whole time. Deal?”
“So, Sungchan mentioned this isn’t the first time I’ve lost them?”
“Uh-huh.”
He nodded enthusiastically. “Deal!”
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Roses for Eyes wasn’t half bad, from the bits and pieces that you heard while you were running around doing other stuff. You could easily understand why your manager chose them for the weekly spot. Your regulars seemed to like them, too. They had an infectious energy, kept the crowd engaged, and had good chemistry with each other on stage. After the debacle with Shotaro’s in-ears, the rest of the performance went over relatively smoothly, then you just had an open bar and dance night until midnight to deal with. Easy.
It was Yangyang’s turn to have his playlist hooked up, so you were planning on mingling to get some feedback from your regulars on the new weekly.
“Y/N!” A voice yelled out your name from elsewhere backstage, and you turned around.
It was Shotaro running at you, his guitar slung over his back. You held out your hands both in a gesture for him to slow down, and also to protect yourself in case he crashed into you. He managed to skid to a stop just in time, breathless and with a wild smile.
He held his hand out towards you, something crumpled up in his fist. “Here!”
You opened up your palm, letting him drop two familiar neon objects into it. His in-ears. “Ah, right. Thank you for remembering.”
Taking out the case that you still had in your pocket, you tucked them away, snapping it shut again. “You’re sure you won’t need these again before next week?”
“No, we don’t have anything planned.”
“Well, if anything comes up, I’m here most days. I’ll keep them in the office, so if I’m not here, you can get them from Kun or someone else with a key.”
“So what uh, what did you think?” His teeth played with his lip ring nervously.
“About what?” You checked the time on your phone.
“You know, our set?”
“God, I told Yang during soundcheck that Wonbin’s mic should’ve been turned up, but he didn’t listen to me, so we could barely hear him. But we’ll fix that next week. Is the guy always so quiet?”
“Yeah, yeah, he is.” Shotaro was still looking at you expectantly.
“Did you need something else, Shotaro?” You asked. “I was going to go talk to some people.”
“No, uhm, sorry for keeping you.”
“It’s fine.” You patted his shoulder. “And hey, we’re open until midnight tonight. You guys are welcome to stay and hang out. Staff gets half off at the bar, that includes you.”
He nodded and flashed you another smile. “Cool, thanks, Y/N.”
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The next week, you were in the back office when there was a knock on the slightly ajar door, and a familiar head poked in.
“Hi.” Shotaro beamed at you. “Kunhang said you were in here.”
“Hi, Shotaro.” You minimized the window that had been up on your screen as he wandered around to your side.
“What are you doing?”
“Payroll. Which you can’t see,” you informed him, opening the top right drawer of the desk.
“Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” You handed him his in-ear case that you had just retrieved. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” He accepted the case, but didn’t leave the office.
“Do you guys need something else?”
“No, uhm, finish your work,” he started towards the door. “But I uhm, is that new? The septum piercing?”
You touched the ring absentmindedly. You’d gotten it done over the weekend, you’d forgotten that it was new by now. “Yeah, it is.”
“I like it. Looks good on you.”
Before you could even say thanks, he had darted from the office.
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Done with the payroll, you went out to the main floor, taking down the stools from the few high-tops scattered around the perimeter and setting them up at the tables. Roses for Eyes were just starting their soundcheck, providing background music of the sounds of them tuning their instruments.
“Hey, Y/N,” Eunseok’s voice came over the speakers.
“Yeah?” You called back over your shoulder as you continued setting up.
“So, did you like our set last week? Anything we can do better?”
You swore you heard snickers, but when you turned around, they were all standing at attention. “Everyone generally liked your sound. Good music to dance to. But you need some more variety in your setlist. Have a vibe-shift or two. Show people you can do more. If you can.”
Sungchan laughed as he spun a stick around with his fingers. “Is that a challenge or what?”
You shrugged. “It’s only a challenge if it’s hard.”
They all erupted into incredulous laughter, and you couldn’t help but grin too, glad that they didn’t seem put-off by your comment. You were genuinely trying to give them advice, not put them down. The band returned to their soundcheck, and you went back to your own tasks. You figured they were done when you heard a long stretch of silence as you were doing inventory of your in-house merch behind the merch counter.
“Hi.” It was Shotaro again, peeking at you from over the counter as you squatted down to count the t-shirts stacked up down there.
“Hi, Shotaro.” You held up your hand expectantly, and he deposited his in-ear case onto it. You tucked it into your jacket pocket. “Thank you.”
“Need any help?”
“This isn’t your job,” you pointed out, tapping a few buttons on the tablet balanced on your knees.
“You’re really good at that.”
“Counting shirts?” You snorted. “I’d be a lot better if I wasn’t talking while I did it.”
He chuckled. “I meant not answering the question you’re asked.”
You looked up from the shirts at him. “Hmph.”
“Did you hate our set that much?”
“Why does it matter what I thought?” You asked him frankly.
“You’re still doing it.”
You took a closer look at what he was wearing today, a neon pink longsleeve under his black t-shirt. “Your shirt matches Wonbin’s hair. Cute.”
He looked down at his sleeves, pulling them over his hands. “Ah, yeah, I guess. Do you like it? I—Hey, wait a minute!”
You laughed to yourself as you stood back up. “If you really want me to answer your question… No, I don’t need any help. I’m done now. Thanks, though.”
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After Roses for Eyes’ set, Shotaro didn’t even have to find you, you were waiting just off-stage. He couldn’t hide his surprise, eyes going wide. “Oh, Y/N! Hey!”
“Hi.” You held out your hand expectantly, the case already open atop it.
He stuffed the in-ears back into it. “Thanks.”
“Thank you.” You snapped it shut and pocketed it. “And good set. I’m glad I got to actually see it this time.”
His face lit up. “Wait you—Is that why—? Thanks! You really—?”
“Hey, Taro, come on, we got places to be,” Sungchan grabbed his arm. “You got your in-ears?”
You arched an eyebrow, taking the case back out from your pocket. “You need these?”
Sungchan shook his head as Shotaro took it back from you. “Thanks…”
“Don’t lose them before next week,” you warned.
“I won’t.” He beamed.
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The next day, you were at the venue early putting up some new decorations when you swore you heard the back door open.
“Ten?” You yelled out. “That you?”
“No!” An entirely different voice called back, right as the owner had descended the stairs into your view, propping his silver sunglasses up on his dalmatian hair.
“Shotaro.” You tilted your head at him curiously. “Pretty sure I haven’t been here that long. It’s not Thursday yet.”
“Not quite.” He grinned as he set a familiar case on the counter that you were currently standing on to reach the ceiling. “I didn’t lose them.”
“I’m very proud of you.” You pointed in the direction of the back. “Office is unlocked, you can put them on the desk before you head out.”
“What are you doing?”
“Decorating. We’re doing a Y’allternative Night tonight.” You held up the paper cowboy boots that you were prepared to hang up. “It’s all deejayed, no live music or we would’ve offered you guys a slot, sorry.”
“Can I help?”
“You really want to help me decorate?”
“Yeah.”
You sighed, looking down at the stack of decorations on the counter, and the others haphazardly strewn on the stage. “Ten was supposed to help but he hasn’t shown…”
“Is that a yes?” He asked hopefully.
“I can’t pay you for this,” you warned.
“That’s fine!”
“Put your in-ears away first.”
“On it!” He grabbed them off the counter and dashed away.
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“So how long have you been working here?” Shotaro asked you as the two of you worked to decorate the venue.
“Few years.” You handed him the next cutout. “Mm, to the right. Yeah, good, higher. There.”
Shotaro was easy to work with, attentive, loved even the smallest bit of praise, and followed directions incredibly well. Kinda like training a dog, you figured. Though, you’d never had a dog.
“How long have you been with your band?” You asked.
“Oh, I’ve known Sungchan since I was like, seven,” he explained, scooting with you along the counter. “I used to be taller than him, you know.”
You snorted at that, genuinely trying to picture little Sungchan and Shotaro, the latter just a smidge taller.
Shotaro was grinning as he continued, “We spent like every day after school in middle school playing Rock Band. Begged our parents for real instruments for Christmas in high school. Then Sungchan met Eunseok in gym class, and I met Wonbin in art. So I guess it’s been… almost ten years? At least since we took over Eunseok’s garage after school for our first band practice.”
“That’s cool,” you replied genuinely, handing him the last decoration. “I like hearing that sort of stuff from the acts that come through here. Everyone’s got such unique stories.”
“Uhm—” He cleared his throat. “Is this good? For the-the thing?”
You looked at where he was holding the paper lasso. “Ehh… Turn it to the left a little? …Perfect, tape it.”
Shotaro hopped down from the counter and the two of you stepped back to admire your handiwork.
“Not bad.” You held your hand up for a high-five, which he eagerly accepted. “Thanks, Shotaro.”
The back door was thrown open then, Ten yelling into the venue, “I’m here!”
“Finally,” you scoffed.
“Sorry, sorry, I had to take Louis to the doctor,” your coworker rambled, obviously flustered as he rushed in. “Stupid asshole ate my charging cable.”
“His cat,” you informed Shotaro quietly, taking in the guitarist’s concerned look. Turning back to Ten, you asked, “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, one super expensive vet trip later, he’s fine, of course.” Ten seemed to notice Shotaro then. “Oh, hey, Taro. Are you guys performing tonight?”
“He was just dropping off some equipment and was nice enough to help me with the decorations,” you explained. “Speaking of—You remembered to pick them up on your way in, right?”
He pointed over his shoulder to the back entrance. “Yes, they’re in my car, will you help me with them?”
“I think we’ve got it from here, Shotaro, thanks again—”
“Uhm, do you remember how long it took last time?” Ten interrupted you pointedly.
You sighed ruefully, recalling very well. Clasping your hands together in front of you, you turned to the frontman, “If you’re not busy, would you mind helping us fill hundreds of balloons and also assemble a few cardboard cutouts? Please?”
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Only one person could operate the balloon inflating machine at a time. One person would fill them with helium, then hand them off to another to tie them and release them to float up to the ceiling. Getting them back down would be hell. The third person was wrangling the custom-ordered cardboard cutouts out of the packaging and assembling them. That person was of course you. You had lost the rock-paper-scissors, and never had it in you to just pull rank when it came to this kind of stuff.
“What the hell?” You muttered, trying to cut the package open for the third time, barely crinkling the tape instead. Yanking on it, you cursed, “I swear this fucking tape is made of fucking Kevlar! What the fuck?!”
“Let me try?” Shotaro offered, abandoning his post tying balloons to join you. You huffed and let him gently take the box cutter from your hand, moving over to grant him access to the end of the box that you were struggling with.
“It’s probably that box cutter! Blade’s too dull!” Ten called out as he continued filling and tying balloons. “I think it’s older than Kun!”
Shotaro had just tried to slice upwards along the tape, but as soon as the box cutter hit resistance, it stopped, and his hand recoiled with the force. His fingers flew back down along the blade, and he dropped both it and the box immediately, letting out a long string of curses.
As soon as you saw the red welling up on his finger, you yelled out to Ten, “First aid kit!”
“Shit! Oh my god, you’re going to get fucking tetanus or something and die. Or lose your hand!” You panicked, latching onto Shotaro’s elbow. You dragged him into the nearest bathroom—the women’s room—and started running water in the sink. You yanked up his hoodie sleeves then yours, sticking both his hands under the stream. They were both bloody messes at this point.
Shotaro lit up as he looked at your inked forearms. “Cool tattoos, what—”
“So not the fucking time for a tattoo tour?!” You gestured to his own hands incredulously.
Ten brought the first aid kit in, and the women’s room that only had two stalls anyway was starting to feel cramped now.
“Go see if there’s any blood on the floor or something,” you shooed him out probably too harshly.
With him gone, you focused on washing and drying Shotaro’s uninjured hand before taking a look at the other. Only one of his fingers was cut, thankfully, but you knew the state that box cutter was in—old, rusty, and had probably never been cleaned once.
“I’ll be fine.” Shotaro was surprisingly calm as he watched you.
“You know there’s no cure for tetanus, right? Fuck, Kun’s going to kill me if our weekly can’t perform because I gave the frontman tetanus and he died.” You stressed.
“Oh, I thought you were just worried for me,” his voice was teasing, and if you hadn’t watched him injure himself and flinch in pain with your own two eyes, you would’ve wondered if he had any pain receptors, as he didn’t seem to be bothered whatsoever by you squirting soap onto the cut in that moment.
“Yeah, that too.”
“As an afterthought,” he snickered.
You pushed the shoulder of his uninjured hand. “Shut up and clean your cut.”
“Really, I’m touched.” He was still smirking as he obliged, gingerly running the tip of his thumb over the area to work the soap around the cut, the water finally running clear. You turned the sink off then grabbed paper towels and his hand, starting to dry the cut off. “Will it make you feel better if I tell you I’m upped on my tetanus booster?”
“Are you?”
He shrugged.
“Then no, that does not make me feel better,” you scoffed, inspecting the wound now that it was dry. On the bright side, the box cutter being as old and dull as it was meant that the cut wasn’t very deep. The bleeding had already stopped. As you went to grab the band-aids from the first-aid kit, you realized Shotaro was still watching you, this time with a funny smile on his face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re always so… cool. In like this unreachable, detached way. Is it bad to say I’m kind of enjoying seeing you like this too?”
“Panicking and pissed off that you’re not taking tetanus serious enough?” You shot him an unamused look, ripping open a band-aid. “Yes, I’d say that’s a strange thing to enjoy.”
“Strange,” he repeated happily. “Not bad.”
“I suppose that is what I said.” You wrapped the band-aid around the cut. “There. All better. Unless you get tetanus and die.”
“I pinky promise I won’t get tetanus and die.” He held the pinky finger of his injured hand out to you.
You eyed his hand. “I super don’t think that’s how this works.”
Shotaro shook it more insistently. You sighed, linking your pinky with his. “If you get tetanus and die, I’m going to kill you.”
“I super don’t think that’s how that works.”
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Thursday rolled around, and you were actually grateful when a spotted head of hair poked into the back office that evening.
“I’m alive!” Shotaro announced cheerily.
“So you are.” You smiled, taking out his in-ears from the desk drawer, as well as the brand-new bag of Sour Patch Kids you had tucked in there. “For you. I can’t pay you with money for helping out, but I really do appreciate it, Shotaro. And I’m sorry that you got injured helping me, too. If Sour Patch aren’t your thing, let me know what you do like and I’ll pick some up for you next week.”
Anybody else would’ve thought you’d just given him a handmade sweater the way he clutched the bag of candy to his chest and looked at you with big eyes. “These are my favorites! How—Did Sungchan tell you or something?”
“Took a wild guess.” You finished up the online order you were placing for restocking your in-house merch. “Also, do you guys have merch?”
“Huh?” Shotaro was looking right at you, but clearly hadn’t heard a word you’d said.
“Merch. Shirts, CDs, stuff for people to buy. Do you guys have any? We can keep it in stock here.”
He blinked, finally processing your question. “We sold out of all our shirts on tour… and we were talking about getting new designs the next time we got some made anyway. We’ve only got a few CDs left now. So… no…”
You clicked your tongue, logging out of the computer and standing up. “Well, whenever you get to it, we can keep them stocked here for you guys. Oh, and I know a few good artists who do that kind of stuff, if you’re looking for someone.”
As you talked, you had started ushering Shotaro out of the office, shutting the door behind you. He stopped in the narrow hallway outside it, made even more cramped by the cardboard boxes of miscellaneous props, merch, and decorations stored back here because you had run out of room in your actual storage closet. He was so close you were certain you could accurately count the piercings on his ears and face if you were patient enough. You tried to take a step back, only to hit your head on the office door that you had just closed.
“Fuck!” You hissed under your breath, clutching your head. “Shotaro, you mind? Don’t you have a soundcheck to do or something?”
“Sorry! Are you okay?” He winced sympathetically, still not moving away, if anything, getting closer as he tried to check on you. “That didn’t sound good—”
“I’m fine!” You insisted. “Soundcheck! Go do it!”
“Right!” He gave you a thumbs-up, then shook his giant bag of candy. “Thank you again!”
After he had sprinted away, you let out a relieved groan, leaning back against the door and looking up at the water-stained ceiling.
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“Is that sanitary?” Eunseok’s voice announced Roses for Eyes’ arrival that particular afternoon, as you sat atop the bar counter, scrolling on your phone in one of your few moments of peace and quiet around Venue:Hell.
“Kiss my ass, Eunseok,” you replied without even looking up.
“Yeah, I’ll get in line,” he retorted, making Sungchan and Wonbin laugh.
That finally prompted you to slide your gaze up, just in time to see the three of them laughing over by the stage as Shotaro flipped them all off over his shoulder, making his way towards you. He had two cups in one hand, one with a bright green straw in it, and the other without a straw, and you saw that the other three band members each had a plastic cup with a straw sticking out of them as well. You silently watched Shotaro approach, raising an eyebrow at him once he’d stopped in front of you.
“We were getting boba on our way here, and thought we’d grab you one, too.” His cheeks were a bright pink as he held the unopened cup out to you, and fished a packaged purple straw out from the front pocket of his black jean jacket.
“Who’s this ‘we’ that you’re talking about?” You asked humorously. “They all apparently think getting me boba is kissing my ass.”
Shotaro straightened up, puffing his chest out. “Actually, yeah. Fuck ‘em. I got you one because I thought it’d be nice to get you one too since you do so much for us every week. It’s uh-It’s honey milk tea, because I didn’t know what flavor you liked.”
“Thank you, Shotaro.” You accepted the cup and straw from him graciously, to a chorus of snickers from the spectators on the other side of the floor. “Honey milk tea is more than acceptable.”
“But it’s not your favorite?”
“I don’t have a favorite.” You set the cup on the bartop beside you to stab the straw into it.
“You—Hey, are those mine?” He seemed to have finally noticed the sunglasses perched atop your head.
“What? These?” You teased, tapping the plastic accessory arm on one side of your head.
“I was looking for those today!”
You took them off, offering them out towards him. “You left them here last week.”
Shotaro took the glasses just to turn them right back around, take a step closer to you, and place them back on your head, a fond smile on his face as he did so. “I think you look better in them, actually. You can hold onto them for a little longer.”
You swallowed, your chest suddenly feeling too tight for your heart, and six eyes suddenly feeling like way too many to be in the room with you two right now. You chuckled, trying to keep up the congenial tone as you once more pulled them off. This time, you folded the arms and tucked the sunglasses into Shotaro’s jacket pocket for him. “Thanks, Shotaro, but I can’t take your sunglasses. They’re really rockstar sunglasses anyway, not for someone like me.”
At that moment, you grabbed your boba tea and hopped off the bar, scooting out from between him and the counter. You avoided looking at the others, beelining for the back office.
When Shotaro had to come get his in-ears from you just a few minutes later, you gave him the same pleasant smile as usual, handing him the case. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” He tapped the case against his palm, the sound dampened by the fingerless gloves he was wearing that day. “What did you mean? When you said someone like you.”
“Wh—About the sunglasses?” You’d hardly expected him to confront you about that comment at all, much less alone now, just you and him in the office, no peanut gallery. While six eyes had felt like too many, this felt far too intimate. You somehow felt more exposed than before. “Like I said—They’re cool rockstar sunglasses, that’s what you are. You should wear them you know, up on stage, being all cool and stuff. I’m crew; no point in me wearing them while I’m sitting back here where nobody can see them.”
He frowned, but thankfully didn’t try to give them to you again. “I think you’re cool, Y/N.”
With that, he left the office.
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“Hey—Woah.” Yangyang stopped midsentence, blinking at you from the office doorway.
“You’re losing your ears, puppy,” you snickered.
“I’m not a—!” He whined, catching the wolf ears that were sliding off his head just in time. “I’m a werewolf!”
“Sure,” you snorted, spinning your desk chair around to face him. “So what did you need, Yang?”
“Ten has a question about how we should set up the line out front.”
“Alright.” You stood up, smoothing out your long black dress. Today was Venue:Hell’s Halloween event, Hallowfreaks, so the whole staff was dressed up. You didn’t have time to think about a costume this time, so you just took out your Morticia Addams costume from last year.
Meeting Ten out front, you couldn’t even compliment his own “werewolf” costume, as he immediately tilted his head with interest upon seeing yours. You looked down at your dress, wondering if you had somehow spilled something on it unknowingly.
He didn’t leave you in the dark long, though. “You did a matching costume with Taro?”
“What?”
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“Shotaro.”
The singer whipped around at the sound of his name. And there was no doubt as to who he was dressed as: His spotted blonde and black hair was slicked back and it looked like he had even used some kind of spray to make it fully black, he had donned a pinstriped suit and dress shoes, and drawn on a mustache to finish off the Gomez Addams look.
The initial recognition at his name being called turned to excitement as he realized what your costume was as well.
“Wait, seriously?!” He laughed, jumping up and down with elation. “That’s awesome!”
“I thought you guys would’ve done a group costume or something.” You crossed your arms.
“We were thinking about it, but Sungchan wanted to do a couple’s costume with his girlfriend. We thought it would look weird onstage if the three of us had a group costume without him, so we just all did our own thing.”
“Sensible.”
“C’mere, we’ve got to show them!” He grabbed your arm, and you let him drag you elsewhere backstage, into the green room where his other three band members were waiting around before their soundcheck. “Guys!”
“What’s this?” Eunseok grinned, pointing between the two of you.
“Taro, you didn’t mention you were doing a couple’s costume with Y/N,” Sungchan teased.
You rolled your eyes. “Not planned, you little shits.”
“Kinda weird that it happened, though,” Wonbin pointed out through a yawn. “Like, you know? What does it mean?”
“It means I was too lazy to buy a new costume and wore my one from last year, and Shotaro… I don’t know, something.”
“I like the movies,” he added quietly.
“He likes the movies!” You repeated triumphantly.
But the others were long gone, laughing and joking among themselves. Shaking your head, you turned back to Shotaro. “I’ll grab your in-ears.”
“I’ll come with.”
The venue was buzzing with excitement for the holiday, but the back office was quiet as always. You passed Kun in the hallway, giving him a quick nod as he rushed off to do something.
“Your in-ears,” you handed him the case, and a small bag of candy, “and Happy Halloween.”
“Sour Patch Kids!” His face lit up.
“Some place on my way to work was handing them out to people walking by. They’re not my favorite, so I figured I’d give it to you.”
“You don’t like them?” He questioned, ripping open the small package.
“They’re fine.” You shrugged, leaning back against the desk. “But you love them.”
He smiled as he grabbed a gummy. “Thanks.”
“This is Roses for Eyes’ first special event here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.” He confirmed. “Sungchan’s really excited.”
“Why’s that? He really like Halloween or something?”
“This is the first performance since we’ve had this gig that his girlfriend is going to be here for,” Shotaro explained. “She’s been on the road for the past two months.”
“She’s in the industry too?”
“Yeah, she does tour management.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep your voice as neutral as possible. “Good for them.”
“Yeah…” Shotaro looked at you carefully. “But why’d you say it like that?”
Not neutral enough, apparently. You purposefully avoided meeting his gaze. “Like what?”
“Like… I don’t know. Like you had another opinion.”
“I meant it. Good for them.” You hoped at least that much came across as genuine. “I’ve been around the scene for long enough to see plenty of relationships like that end badly. Especially ones between talent and crew.”
His big eyes watched you carefully as he chewed, swallowed, and cautiously asked, “Personal experience?”
“What did I just say? I’ve seen it. Not had it happen to me,” you replied firmly. Pointing to the door, you said, “Now go do your soundcheck, Shotaro.”
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You were waiting backstage for Roses for Eyes after their set. The stage was being prepared for the next live act, and the band was still energetic.
“Good job, guys,” you congratulated them as Shotaro handed over his in-ears.
“Thanks.” Sungchan patted your head as he hurried by, apparently with somewhere to be.
“He’s got to find his girlfriend,” Eunseok informed you, wiping his face with his shirt, and taking half his No Face facepaint off in the process.
You narrowed your eyes at Shotaro. “Missing something?”
“I gave you them!” He defended himself.
“Your guitar.”
He patted his front and back, eyes going wide. “Shit!”
Wonbin and Eunseok burst into laughter as Shotaro darted back onto stage, apologizing to the staff and band still setting up. The other two wandered off, presumably to put their own equipment away. Shotaro snatched his guitar from the stand and ran back over to you, panting as he tried to catch his breath.
“Okay, that’s the first time that’s ever happened,” he promised.
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“I saw you in the back, during some of the set,” he was absolutely beaming at you.
“Yeah, with Kun here tonight, I can actually get some breathing room. I was able to stop and watch a bit.” You patted his arm. “Like I said, good job, mon cher.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling down at his feet. “Thanks, cara mia.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, covering your mouth as you did.
“What? What’s so funny?” He asked with a chuckle.
“It is pretty funny that we accidentally did two halves of a matching costume. Everyone had a right to be weirded out.”
“Oh, yeah,” he agreed. “Weird coincidence, right?”
“Anyway, you should put your guitar away before you lose it again and I have to confiscate that as well, okay?”
“Okay, okay.”
“I’m going to put your in-ears in the office. If you guys don’t have anything better to do, Hallowfreaks is going on until 2 a.m.”
“Don’t tell me you’re working that whole time?” He asked in disbelief.
“Where else would I be?”
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Winter rolled around, and you were once again crouched behind the merch counter doing inventory. Seasons change, but the pain of doing inventory never does.
“Nah, it’ll be Taro,” Yangyang insisted.
“I think it’ll be Sungchan trying to embarrass Taro,” Kunhang replied.
“Mm, could be Eunseok trying to piss Y/N off while simultaneously embarrassing Taro,” Ten gave his input on whatever the hell they were talking about near Yangyang’s sound equipment.
You poked your head above the merch counter now that you’d heard your own name. “Hey! What are you guys talking about?”
Three heads peeked around the black curtains. Ten answered your question, “We’re betting on which one of them will say something first when they get here today.”
“And none of you said Wonbin because he’ll probably be half-asleep anyway,” you guessed.
“Yep!” Kunhang nodded.
You just sighed loudly and went back to your task. A few minutes later, the back door opened, followed by the overlapping voices of Sungchan and Shotaro in a quiet but heated argument about… something indistinguishable to you. It was ended by an alarmingly loud smacking sound followed by dead silence, which prompted you to peer over the counter, a little concerned. The guys would playfight or bicker sometimes, but it always devolved into laughter.
The four of them were silent, but the angry tension was choking. You tried to quickly duck your head back down, hoping nobody saw you. But of course Shotaro did. It was only a few minutes later, after they put all their stuff down in the green room, that Shotaro was leaning over the merch counter on his elbows to talk to you.
“Hi, Y/N.” He offered you a smile, but you noticed it seemed a little strained this time.
“Hey, Shotaro,” you greeted him, not addressing the band’s entrance. Having just finished up with inventory, you stood up, groaning with relief.
The singer’s smile turned genuine then. “You’re wearing our merch.”
You looked down at the front of the hoodie you were wearing. “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry, I paid for it.”
“I wasn’t worried about that.” His eyes shined as he looked at you. “I’m—I didn’t think you’d…”
“I’ve gotta rep the home team, right?” You gestured to the building around you. “It’s super comfy, too. Come on, let’s get your in-ears.”
In the office, you grabbed the case from the desk, watching Shotaro fuss with his lipring with his front teeth, bouncing from his heels to his toes.
“Look,” you sighed. “You don’t have to tell me what it’s about… but is everything okay with you guys?”
He pulled at his fingerless gloves. “You didn’t hear what Sungchan was saying?”
“No, nothing.”
“We’ll be okay,” he reassured you. “We’ve had worse fights. I mean, not since I was like, twelve, but it’ll be fine.”
You let your uncertainty be visible on your face. “Alright, you know him better than I do. Like I always say, if you need something, let me know.”
“Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate that you’re concerned about us.” Shotaro held a hand out for his in-ears, and you placed them in his waiting palm.
A little while later, you went out to start setting up the stools to find Shotaro alone on stage tuning his guitar. You went about your business as he seemed absorbed in his own task.
“I looked it up,” Shotaro called out to you before he played a chord, then adjusted one of the tuning pegs. “There’s no cure for tetanus.”
You looked at him over your shoulder, pulling a stool down from the high-top. “I know.”
Another chord. “I know you know.” More tuning. “You said that when I cut myself with the box cutter.”
“And…?”
“How did you know that?”
“My sister’s a doctor,” you answered simply, continuing to set up the furniture.
The guitarist stopped completely, staring at you. “Wait, really?”
“Why do you look so surprised?” You chuckled, leaning against one of the tables. “Can’t believe I’m related to a doctor and work in this place?”
“No, not that.” He shook his head as if trying to shake himself out of a stupor. “You just never tell me about that kind of stuff.”
“We both lived at home when she was in med school. I helped her with flashcards and stuff when she’d study.” You shrugged and went back to setting up. “Random stuff stuck.”
The other members of Roses for Eyes came out on stage then, cutting the conversation short as they started their soundcheck.
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Poking your head into the band’s green room that particular evening, you were surprised to only find one member. Sure, a couple might be out on a food run, or wandering around the venue distracting your staff, but more often than not they were all in here between soundcheck and their set.
Regardless, you really only needed one of them at the moment. “Shotaro.”
“Yes!” He immediately shot up from where he had been sprawled out on the tiny couch, facing away from the door. His dalmatian hair had finally faded, and he was now completely platinum blonde with a shorter, spikier cut.
You quickly shot your boss a text back as you also flicked through the upcoming events spreadsheet for the venue. Not even looking up from your phone, you asked, “Got Valentine’s Day plans?”
Something collided with the edge of the table as Shotaro fell off the couch at that exact moment. You glimpsed the tail end of him scrambling to his feet, rushing to answer you, “No! Not at all! Uhm, what were you—”
“We’re putting on an Anti-Romantics Event for singles that night,” you explained, reviewing the details for the event on your screen. “Mix of live stuff and deejayed. Some games, raffles, that kind of stuff too. The headliner slot is yours if you guys want it.”
Shotaro nodded fervently. “Yeah! We can do it!”
You raised an eyebrow, looking around the empty room pointedly. “You’re not going to ask the other guys? I figured at least Sungchan might be doing something, you know…”
“Right. I’ll uhm, I’ll double-check with them.”
“I’ll pencil you guys in. Just let me know as soon as possible, okay?”
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“Y/N?” Shotaro’s voice echoed as he yelled your name from the main room, obviously just wandering around shouting for you. Tonight was Venue:Hell’s Anti-Romantics Event, and Roses for Eyes had ended up accepting the headliner spot. Apparently, Sungchan’s girlfriend was really chill.
“In here!” You yelled back from inside the women’s bathroom, hunched in front of the mirror with an eyeliner pen and pile of used makeup remover wipes.
“Shit, sorry! I mean, uh—Never mind!”
“I’m doing my make-up,” you snorted. “You can come in.”
The swinging door opened hesitantly, and as soon as he was able to see that you were telling the truth, Shotaro entered fully. You wiped off your latest fail with a groan, grabbing all of the used wipes and tossing them in the trash.
“What are you doing?” He asked curiously.
“I’m trying to draw a broken heart on my cheek,” you explained. “But I can’t draw on my own face for shit.”
“Can I…?” He reached for the eyeliner. You handed it over, leaning back against the sink. He gently tilted your chin up and away from him to give him better access. You looked off to the side to avoid staring directly at him as he leaned in. “So you didn’t have any Valentine’s plans?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
“I figured.”
He chuckled, his warm breath washing over your cheek. “Ouch.”
You rolled your eyes. “You already told me you didn’t have any plans.”
“Right.”
“I like your necklace.” You picked up the heavy chain from where it was sitting on his chest, several miniature heart lockets hanging from it.
“Thanks,” he murmured. “I think your makeup is nice.”
“I’m a sucker for a theme.”
Shotaro took a step back to look at his handiwork, nodding proudly. “Not half-bad, I think.”
You turned to check on it in the mirror, lighting up when you saw a much more legible broken heart than all the ones you’d attempted. “Oh, that’s so much better! Thank you, Shotaro!”
“You’re welcome.”
Eyeing the rest of his outfit, you were struck with an idea. You grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning the two of you around so his back was to the sink. “Your turn.”
“Hm?” He watched you with interest as you took the eyeliner pen from him and tossed it into your makeup bag, rooting around in there for something else. Finally, you secured a compact of blush and brush, holding them up eagerly.
“Trust me?” You requested.
He smiled fondly, relaxing back against the sink. “Go for it.”
You dusted the bright-colored blush across his cheeks and nose, focusing the majority of it in the center. When you were done, you had a victorious grin on your face. He now looked like a perfect little pop punk Cupid. The rest of his outfit was his usual mishmash of black and bright neon colors—this time solely hot pink—accessorized with more black, spikes, and metal chains. The blush was just the icing on the cake, especially when you saw that he had put a teeny, tiny silver heart stud in his nose piercing.
“Perfect,” you announced with finality, putting the makeup away.
Shotaro blinked his eyes open uncertainly, and you gestured for him to look in the mirror. He laughed, nodding his approval. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought you were doing.”
“Let me know how many numbers you leave with at the end of the night,” you quipped.
“What?” All the humor was drained from his features as he looked from the mirror over to you.
“Uhm, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re the frontman of the headlining act at an event for singles on Valentine’s Day, and I just made you look ten times more edible than usual.” You patted him on the shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
“I don’t want anybody’s number.”
You were slightly alarmed at the rate that this conversation had taken a nosedive, quickly trying to gloss over the tense moment. “Of course. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“You really think I’m edible?” He asked with a knowing smirk.
“Mm, I guess I did say something like that,” you answered noncommittally, grabbing your makeup bag. “I’ll go get your in-ears for you.”
“I’m not them.” Shotaro’s biting words stopped you in your tracks before you could even grab the door handle.
“What?”
He was still leaning back against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest as he held your confused gaze. “Whoever you’re comparing me to in your head. Whoever you think I’m going to end up being exactly like. I’m not them.”
“Shotaro…” You breathed out his name, unable to think of a quick deflection this time, hoping he would just let it go.
“You’re not stupid, Y/N. I know you’re not.” He stood up, stepping closer to you. “You always stop yourself right before… I’m sure you think you’re not leading me on or whatever, but I know you know how stupidly head over heels I am for you, because I don’t try to hide it.”
You winced, your stomach dropping to the floor. So he really did want to have this conversation. “I’m sorry. I should’ve said something. I thought… I don’t know, that I needed better words before I said anything. But saying something would’ve been better than doing this to you. I’m so sorry, Shotaro.”
“Tell me. Whatever words you do have, even if you think they’re bad,” he insisted.
“Why?”
“Because I still want to know everything about you, even if it’s the reasons you’re rejecting me,” he chuckled cynically, his eyes still shining as he looked at you.
You sank your teeth into your bottom lip as you tried to think of where to start. You knew you owed Shotaro this much, at least. Finally, you decided on, “I dated the lead singer of a band a few years ago, when I started here. I was young and stupidly in love with him and really believed him when he told me I was special. He was cheating on me the whole time.” You watched Shotaro’s eyes go big. “Every time he went on tour, even at concerts here. I think the worst part wasn’t even how many times he cheated on me, but how many times I caught him doing it and believed him when he said it meant nothing and he’d never do it again.”
“Y/N—”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Shotaro. Really,” you reassured him. “I-I don’t know if I can trust myself to not… realize when something like that is happening again. To not realize when I’ve lost myself like that. I’m sorry.”
You rushed out of the bathroom then, unable to bring yourself to hear what he said next, whatever surely sweet, reassuring, reasonable thing he would say. You couldn’t hear it, not now. You were stuck, and now you’d gotten Shotaro stuck too.
Grabbing the in-ears from your office, you were glad to almost immediately catch Kunhang in the hallway. “Hey, give these to Shotaro for me.”
He thankfully didn’t question it, and you set off to keep yourself even busier than usual. Which wouldn’t be hard, as Kun wasn’t in that night, meaning that you were overseeing the whole event on your own. You didn’t even see Shotaro again until he was on stage performing with the rest of Roses for Eyes. You were helping out behind the merch table, as the limited-edition event merch you’d gotten was apparently very popular and the bunching up of people around the counter was clogging up the small area.
“They’re killing it tonight,” Ten commented loudly to be heard over the crowd and the music, nodding towards the stage.
“Yeah,” you agreed mildly, watching the performance out of the corner of your eye as you straightened up the stock.
“They’ve been doing really well with the weekly slot, too.”
“Mhm.”
“I heard they’re planning a mini-tour in the summer, though.”
“Cool.”
“Taro mentioned anything to you about that?”
You flashed him a sharp look. “Why would he have told me anything?”
“Because you’re their contact for the slot here?” He gave you a bewildered look back. “They’d have to tell you so you could tell Kun and find someone to fill the slot while they’re gone?”
“Right. Yeah. No, nobody’s said anything to me.”
“And also, he’s got a huge crush on you.”
“God, shut up,” you groaned.
“What? It’s adorable to watch him follow you around like a lost puppy,” your coworker snickered. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?”
“I’m telling you to shut up about it.”
“Come on, taking the theme a little too literally, Y/N?”
You rolled your eyes, opting to not engage with the conversation at all since he apparently wasn’t going to move on. The presence of the headliner on stage was finally drawing some of the crowd away from the merch line.
Giving Ten an unsympathetic smile, you started backing away from the counter, “Alright, I think you’ve got it from here.”
Ten was still grinning and shaking his head as he let you go without a fight, helping the next person in line. You continued running around the venue, helping with anything that popped up.
As Kunhang was announcing the winners of some of the raffles later in the night, you had eyed trouble at the bar. Sicheng, your bartender, was obviously trying to decline service to an insistent patron while a line of other guests bunched up around the bar.
“Is there a problem here, Sicheng?” You asked, stepping into the situation.
“Oh, Y/N,” he breathed a sigh of relief. “He’s had too many, can you—”
“I’ve got it, you keep serving people,” you reassured him. With his attention on the next people, you turned back to the other man. The guy had clearly had too much to drink, pink-faced and swaying in place. “You’ve had enough, man. How about we get you a water, okay? Or a soda?”
“No, I want another beer!” He insisted.
“No can do, sorry,” you informed him firmly. “Water, soda, or nothing. Alright?”
“Who the fuck are you to tell me no?”
“Manager of the building you’re in right now.”
“Well, manager, tell him to get me another beer.”
“No,” you repeated. “Look, dude, I know tonight can especially suck, but there’s other things to do besides drink. You are cut off. Let’s get you a water, hm?”
“No.”
“Did you come with friends? I can help get you back to them.”
He got up in your face then, and you stepped back, unwittingly jamming the bartop right into your own ribcage. “I said no, bitch.”
“I’m going to ask you to leave if you don’t calm down and get out of my fucking face,” you informed him through gritted teeth. “Come on, dude, don’t make this a bigger deal than it has to be.”
Before he could say anything else, someone grabbed the guy by the shoulder, pulling him away from you. At first you hoped that it was come friends of the guy, finally caught on to what was going on, but your blood turned cold when you saw who it really was.
“Hey, get out of her face,” Shotaro told him, rather calmly, but firmly.
In the next second, the drunk guy had swung, his fist impacting with Shotaro’s face and making his head jerk back. The crowd around you three gasped and backed up, and you felt both anger and panic flood your veins.
“You’re done!” You announced loudly. “Out! Get the fuck out! Sicheng! Call security!”
Your bartender was already on it, his walkie-talkie up by his mouth and his request for back-up coming through your own earpiece very clearly. You watched the venue’s guard who very rarely had to leave his post by the front door lumber up, grabbing the guy by the collar and pulling him through the crowd.
Shotaro was stood in the same spot, slightly hunched over as he held onto the edge of the bar, cradling his cheek. You sighed, grabbing his arm. “Come on.”
He let you guide him away from the crowd, the din of the music fading as you took him into the back office, shutting the door behind you. You gestured to the desk chair for him to sit in, and he obliged. After getting out the small first aid kit that was kept in here, you leaned back against the desk, pulling his hand down from his face to inspect the damage.
“We have security, you know,” you said quietly, cracking a cold pack and massaging it in your hands to get the reaction going.
“Didn’t seem like they were helping you,” he replied.
You grabbed a couple tissues from the dispenser on the desk, pressing them to where blood was welling up from a cut on his cheek. “Because I hadn’t called them.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was handling it.” Tossing the bloodied tissues in the trash, you applied a band-aid to the open wound before holding the cold pack out to him.
He accepted it, looking down at his lap guiltily. “I’m sorry.”
“C’mere.” You stood up and stepped closer to him, reaching for his face with both your hands.
“Hm?” He looked up at you curiously. You turned his head so you could gently press your thumbs against his cheekbone and the area around his eye where he’d been hit. “Ow…”
“Sorry. I don’t think he broke anything. You’ll probably just have some bruising for a while,” you declared softly, pulling his hand that was holding the cold pack up to his cheek. “And a nasty cut from his ugly rings.”
He chuckled a little, and you smiled back. “Learn that from your sister?”
“No, just had to break up a few fights here before.”
“Really?”
“We weren’t always such a classy establishment,” you joked, sitting back down on the edge of the desk in front of him. “We’re called Venue:Hell for a reason, and not just because we’re underground.”
“Here I thought you guys were just trying to be edgy.”
You were still replaying it in your mind, of how quick it happened, from Shotaro grabbing the guy to him getting punched. “You thought that guy was going to hit me or something, right?”
“He was getting up in your face…” He hissed and pulled the cold pack down from his face for a moment, then put it back up, wincing. “Even if he didn’t, he shouldn’t have been yelling at you like that.”
“Occupational hazard,” you shrugged. After a beat, you added sincerely, “Thanks, Shotaro.”
“Why do you call me Shotaro? To keep me at a distance?” He asked, a thoughtful frown on his face. “Everyone calls me Taro, I even told you to call me Taro. But you never have.”
“I’m pretty sure you said that I can call you Taro, not that you wanted me to,” you pointed out. Seeing the distress on his face, though, you said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it meant so much to you.”
“It doesn’t, really. But when it’s you… it hurts. Everything feels like the best thing that’s ever happened to me and the worst at the same time.”
“I…” You trailed off uncertainly. What were you even supposed to say to that?
“Like, I make you laugh and I’m fucking on Cloud Nine. And then I somehow take it too far, or say something that makes you run away and I kind of feel like I’m literally dying.” He slumped back into the desk chair with a sharp laugh, still pressing the cold pack to his face.
“That sounds awful, I’m so—”
“No, stop it. It’s not awful, and I want you to stop apologizing to me.”
“Okay.”
Shotaro sighed, looking down at his free hand as he futzed with his jewelry. “That guy’s rings were pretty ugly.”
You let out a sputtering laugh, happy for some of the tension in your chest to dissolve in that moment. “Yeah, they really were.”
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That night, you got home from work in the wee hours of the morning, not even bothering to turn your apartment light on, simply tossing your backpack in the direction of your couch and shuffling towards your bedroom. You got ready for bed on autopilot, exhausted as you always were after work.
Wiping off your makeup in the mirror, you hovered over the broken heart on your cheek, recalling just how fast that conversation had gone downhill, then Shotaro getting punched later in the night. Letting out a deep breath, you finished up in the bathroom and shut that light off. After changing into your pajamas, you lay in bed alone, staring up at your ceiling. Alone. You’d be going back to Venue:Hell in less than ten hours. And after that, you’d come home again. Alone. Then go back to work. Then come home. Then go back. Then come home. Work. Home. Work. Home. Work. Home. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
The line rang, and rang, and with every ring, your urge to hang up grew. Of fucking course he didn’t want to talk to you—
“Y/N?” Shotaro’s voice was foggy, and it was apparent you’d woken him.
“Taro, hey,” you said quietly, already regretting this. “I woke you up, didn’t I? Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he grumbled, and you heard the sounds of him rolling over and readjusting in bed. “Is everything okay? You’re not still at work, are you?”
“No, no, I’m home.”
“Okay, good.”
“Uhm, I just—” You were cut off by a very loud yawn from him. “Sorry, it’s really late and you’ve got to be tired. We can do this later.”
“No, go ahead. You apparently thought it was important enough to call me at fuck you a.m. in the morning,” he chuckled sleepily. “We can do it now. I won’t interrupt again. Promise.”
You took a deep breath, still staring at the inky dark expanse of your ceiling. “I just was thinking… some more… And I do really like you, and if you still… want to… Do you have plans later?”
You heard something thunk, and a loud clunk right by the mic, making you wince away from your speaker, then the distant sounds of him cursing as he scrambled around.
“Sorry, dropped you,” he apologized, sounding much more awake now. “You mean like, not for work?”
“Yeah, like, hanging out. Not at work,” you confirmed. God, is your heartbeat always this fucking loud?
“Yes, absolutely. Yes! Fuck!” He agreed giddily, and you couldn’t help but grin too.
“Okay, uhm, I have to get the venue set up for a show at seven tonight, but we could do lunch before or something? If that works for you?”
“Totally! Yes!”
“Cool.” You smiled at your screen as you checked the time. “It is way too fucking late. Just text me when you wake up and we can sort everything out then.”
“I will. Absolutely.”
“I’ll talk to you then.”
“Yes.”
“Thanks, Taro. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
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After some much-needed sleep, you slowly got up, sitting at the edge of your bed, letting your feet graze the carpet below. You were home now, alone, and later you’d be going to work. But before that, you were going to be doing something else. Going somewhere else with someone else.
Speaking of, your phone rang, an incoming call from Shotaro. You picked it up, still rubbing sleep out of one eye. “Mm?”
“Was it real?” He asked in lieu of a greeting.
“What?” You chuckled. “What are you talking about?”
“Do I need a lobotomy right now, or are we actually going on a date?”
You burst into laughter, holding your phone away from your mouth as your laughter devolved into a coughing fit, blindly grabbing for your water cup from your nightstand. After recovering enough, you finally answered, “Hold off on the lobotomy for now.”
“Oh, it was real,” he let out a sigh of relief. “God, I seriously woke up and couldn’t tell if I had dreamt that whole conversation or not.”
“No, I really did call you at ‘fuck you a.m. in the morning’ last night, sorry.”
He snickered. “I said that?”
“You did.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to call me at fuck you a.m. any night, especially if it’s going to be something that good.” His grin was audible through the phone. “So what time should I pick you up?”
“We haven’t even decided where we’re going?”
“Lunch,” he said confidently. “I’ve got it. You did the hard part, let me do the rest.”
You looked at the time on your phone. “Two hours?”
“Done. Send me your address.”
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“Hey—Oh my God,” you cut yourself off laughing, covering your face as soon as you saw Shotaro standing there with a bouquet of flowers. “You seriously—Oh my God.”
“What? What is funny about this?” He held them out to you even more insistently.
You accepted them, still shaking your head. “Nothing. Come in so I can put them in water.”
He obliged, quietly closing your door behind him.
“I just honestly don’t think a man has ever brought me flowers,” you admitted, opening your cabinet to try to find some kind of vessel. “I was caught off-guard. I didn’t mean to laugh in your face, I’m sorry. You’re very sweet, Taro.”
“Seriously?” He watched you bring down an old empty water jug and fill it up from your sink, then plop the flowers in there.
“Seriously.” You paused in front of him, eyes focused on his left cheek, where a bruise had blossomed out far beyond the edges of the bandage you’d applied last night. Frowning, you delicately touched just under his cheekbone. “How is it?”
“I’m fine,” he reassured you, letting you continue to inspect the wound. “Barely even feel it.”
“Liar.”
He beamed. “Maybe.”
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“You know that I’m going to be kind of bad at this, right?” You asked in a lull in conversation at lunch, picking at your food with your utensil.
“At… eating?” Shotaro asked in turn, his cheeks full with his own food as he looked at you with wide, confused eyes. “You seem to be doing pretty alright to me.”
“No,” you chuckled and shook your head. “At… this.” You pointed between the two of you. “It’s been a while, and I didn’t have the best experience last time.”
He swallowed and nodded, offering his hand out across the table, palm up. “I know.” Hesitantly, you put your own hand in his, and he squeezed yours gently, a soft smile on his face as he gazed at you. “Like I said, you already did the hard part, that’s why I’m taking care of everything else today. I get how difficult it must be for you to be doing this right now.”
“Thanks.” You squeezed his hand back.
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“You really don’t have to do this,” you sighed as you and Shotaro walked down the sidewalks together after lunch.
“What are you talking about? Of course I have to make sure my girlfriend gets to work safe,” he scoffed, elbowing you.
“Hey hey hey!” You smacked his arm. “We’ve been on one date, kinda. What’s with the g-word?”
“‘The g-word,’” he repeated with a snicker. “If it makes you feel better, you can call me the b-word.”
“Bitch?” You blinked at him innocently.
He elbowed you again. “Rude!”
You laughed loudly, clutching your stomach as you had to stop to catch your breath. “Come on, you walked right into that one.”
“Yeah, I did.” He agreed, watching you with a fond smile on his face.
“I’m serious though, you can’t just be throwing words like that around after one kinda-date.”
Shotaro grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers through yours as you kept walking. “And what is the difference between a date and a kinda-date?”
“I don’t know. We were just like… hanging out. You know?” You shrugged. “I don’t know, I told you I was going to be bad at this!”
He laughed. “I brought you flowers, paid for your lunch, we’re holding hands… I’m failing to see how this isn’t date behavior.”
You looked down at your entwined hands, skin heating up. “Point taken.”
You’d made it to Venue:Hell and approached the back door, taking your keys out of your pocket.
“You know what else people do on dates?” He asked slyly, tugging on your hand so you’d turn around and face him. “Kiss goodbye.”
“Talking like I’ve never been on a date ever,” you scoffed, hooking your fingers in his belt loops and pulling him closer. You smiled when you saw his cheeks turn bright pink—no blush necessary this time. Shotaro’s hands landed on your waist as you grabbed the back of his neck and slotted your lips together. The cool metal of his lip ring pressed against your skin, made even colder by the crisp weather outside. He met you beat for beat, never taking over, following your lead until you finally broke apart. The kiss was sweet, reminiscent of the boba tea you’d grabbed after lunch.
“Ah, shit,” he chuckled, hanging his head.
“What?”
“Now I don’t want to go.” He snuck another kiss to your cheek, just grazing the corner of your mouth.
“You’re a menace.” You sighed, in a similar predicament. With warning in your voice, you said, “You can hang out—”
“Yes!” He cheered.
“—until somebody else gets here,” you finished your sentence pointedly, turning around to unlock the door. “Because some people actually work around here, and you’re not performing tonight.”
“Pretty sure you’re the only person who actually does any work around here,” he teased.
“I know, which is why I can’t have you distracting everyone else even more.” You unlocked the door and disabled the alarm, leading Shotaro in by the hand.
“I’m not a distraction!”
“All you’ve been doing for the past six months is distracting me.”
“I help you!”
You clicked your tongue. “And get injured in the process.”
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, following you into the office. “It’s the thought that counts?”
“Let me change your band-aid, while you’re here,” you offered, pointing to the desk chair. “You’ve still got the same gross one on from last night.”
Shotaro peeled off the old bandage and tossed it in the trash while you grabbed a new one from the first aid kit.
“I’m going to have to tell Kun,” you said carefully, opening the new band-aid. “About this.”
He stayed still as you applied the new bandage, then asked, “Me getting punched or us going out?”
“Both.” You groaned and rubbed your face. “Ugh, I don’t even know which one I should start with. Don’t say anything until I tell him, please.”
“I will not tell anybody else until you talk to Kun,” he promised, the phrasing making you narrow your eyes.
“You already told all your bandmates.”
He folded immediately. “Can you blame me? I was excited!”
“The whole building is going to know by soundcheck on Thursday,” you lamented, covering your face.
“I’ll tell the guys I was kidding.”
“They’ll think you’ve lost it.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, probably.”
“As much as I appreciate your willingness to have your best friends think you’re an absolute weirdo loser who would lie about something like that,” you patted his shoulders, “I won’t ask you to do that.”
“I appreciate that.”
You heard the distinct clang of the back door closing, and sighed regretfully. “That’s your cue.”
“Fine, fine.” He stood up, pecking your forehead. “Pick you up later?”
“I get off at midnight?”
“So?”
“Don’t be late,” you hummed, grabbing the door handle.
It was Kunhang who had arrived, clearly surprised to see Shotaro there. “Oh, hey Taro. What are you doing here?”
“He forgot something.” You used the most reasonable excuse.
“Maybe we should just start stapling stuff to you, man,” Kunhang laughed.
“Great idea.” You grinned, patting Shotaro’s arm as you continued ushering him towards the door.
In the stairwell, concealed from your coworker’s gaze, he leaned in, whispering right next to your ear. “I did almost forget something, actually.”
You arched an eyebrow at him, and he cupped your cheek, rings cold against your skin. Your eyes fluttered shut on instinct as you let him tilt your chin, connecting your lips. Your blood roared in your ears as you scrunched his t-shirt in your fist.
The back door opened, and you couldn’t reel back quick enough. To your horror, it was Kun standing there, blinking at you as his keys dangled in one hand.
“Excuse me,” he cleared his throat, scooting right between you and Shotaro in the narrow space of the stairway. He looked back, speaking directly to the singer with you, “Nice shiner there, Taro.”
Shotaro touched his bruised cheek on instinct, giving your manager a thumbs-up with his other hand. “Thanks.”
Kun said nothing else, whistling to himself as he walked further into the venue. You looked at Shotaro with wide eyes, practically shoving him out the door as he burst into laughter.
“Goodbye, Taro!” You said loudly over his cackles.
“See you later,” he whispered back, shooting you a wink right before you slammed the door in his face.
As you turned the corner, you were alarmed to see Kunhang peering at you from his station. “What?”
“Since when do you call him ‘Taro’?”
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Upon entering the back office, you saw Kun sitting at the desk, working on something on the computer. He held a familiar pair of silver sunglasses out to you without even taking his eyes off the screen. “I think Taro left these here.”
“Yeah, those are his,” you confirmed, accepting the frames from him. “Uhm, a patron at the event last night had too much to drink, and ended up punching him, by the way.”
Kun looked over at you at that information, lifting both his eyebrows in disbelief. “Taro got into a barfight?”
“He didn’t hit him back, or start it, really. Sicheng and I were trying to cut the other guy off, but he was getting pissed off.”
“Ahh, he thought he was helping you.” Your manager nodded in understanding.
“About that, we’ve only been on one date, and—”
“I don’t need to know all the details. I just don’t want to have to enter the building like that ever again, okay?”
“Heard.”
He cracked a grin then. “I will say—I like him a lot better than the last one.”
“God, don’t remind me,” you groaned and shook your head.
“And that’s the last time I’ll ever bring him up. I’m glad he’s gone.” Kun held his hands up in surrender. “Now go find something to do.”
“Ten’s not scheduled for tonight, so I’m on the front.”
“Go do that.”
“Heard.” You clicked your tongue and gave him a casual salute, heading back out of the office.
Kunhang found you again setting up the barricades for the queue out front. He squinted at you, then laughed, “Oh, those looked like Taro’s sunglasses for a second.”
“They are,” you answered nonchalantly, pushing the frames back up where they were sliding down the bridge of your nose.
“Why are you wearing his sunglasses?”
“Because he forgot them here, it’s bright as hell out, and I don’t have another pair on me.”
“That’s… reasonable.”
“You said that weird.”
“Well, here’s the thing—” Your coworker stopped where he was rearranging the barricades, facing you. “I don’t think you’ve noticed but I’m like… 99% sure the guy has a huge crush on you.”
You kept a straight face. “Really?”
“Yeah, the poor guy is like… so down bad it’s not even funny anymore. Kinda a bit sad, actually.” He sighed. “So I just think that you wearing his sunglasses… it’s gonna mess with his head, you know?”
“You think so?” You scrunched your nose, pretending to think really hard about it.
“Yeah.”
You eventually shook your head. “I don’t know, I don’t think he does…”
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It was ten till midnight, and you looked between the time and the back door.
“If you’ve got somewhere you need to be, you can go,” Kunhang nudged you with his knee.
“Yeah, you’ve been checking your phone every ten seconds,” Yangyang snorted, scrolling on his phone. “Seriously, we’ve got it. We’ve done a bajillion dance nights, and Kun is here in case something goes horribly wrong.”
You ignored them, instead looking directly at your sound tech. “Hey, Yang, weird question: Do you think Taro has a crush on me?”
He burst out laughing, grabbing his sides as he keeled forward, barely catching himself on Kunhang’s leg. Still giggling, he sobered up enough to say, “Well, duh. Y/N, oh my God, I never pegged you for an idiot. What the fuck? Did you seriously not—”
The back door opened then, and you immediately spotted Shotaro descending the stairs, looking around the crowded room.
“That’s spooky,” Yangyang muttered. “Do you think he like, heard me somehow?”
“He was here earlier to see Y/N,” Kunhang said pointedly. “See? He totally—”
You simply raised your hand and waved until Shotaro saw you, immediately perking up and making his way across the venue. Your coworkers had half a mind to shut up as the guitarist stopped in front of you three.
“Hey guys,” he smiled at the other two, then pointed at the sunglasses perched atop your head. “Those are mine.”
“You forgot them here,” you informed him smugly, leaning back in your seat and taking them off. You let them dangle by the arm off the tip of your finger as you held them out to him.
“I told you I forgot something,” he teased, taking the sunglasses back. He turned the shades around, leaning in as he tucked them back into your hair. “They look better on you anyway.”
You left them there this time, grinning up at him. “I think you’re right, actually.”
“You good to go?”
“Yep.” You got to your feet, tossing your dumbfounded coworkers a goodbye over your shoulder. Shotaro’s hand found yours, keeping you close as you weaved through the crowd.
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It was Thursday again, and you were backstage, monitoring the band as they got ready to go on. There was a hustle and bustle like usual, and right as they were preparing to step onto stage, you called out expectantly, “Taro? Forget something?”
“Oh, right,” he grinned and shook his head, jogging over to you. He held your face with two hands, kissing you right there backstage, his lips still sugary sweet from the Sour Patch Kids he’d been snacking on moments prior.
After he’d pulled back, you held up his in-ears and pack, which he’d given you when he needed a very last-minute run to the bathroom. “I meant these.”
You could hear the snickers from his bandmates as he took the equipment from you, rushing to put it all back on. “Yeah, that too, I guess. What if I said I’ve been losing things on purpose this entire time as a genius ploy to—”
“Go perform already! I’m sick of you!” You rolled your eyes dramatically and pushed him away, back towards the stage.
“Fine, only because you asked so nicely.” He winked, dashing back over just in time to run out on stage with the rest of the band.
“What the hell?” Ten was just off to your side, staring at you, accompanied by Sicheng. You didn’t want to know who was at the bar right now.
“What?” You tilted your head innocently, walking over to them.
“Taro just kissed you?” He looked around, bewildered. “Sicheng, that was crazy, right?”
“Huh?” Your bartender glanced between the two of you, seeming just as lost. “Have they not been dating this whole time?”
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⤷ au masterlist | blog masterlist
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cryptidghostgirl · 11 months ago
Note
Can I ask for a similar scenarios for Unrequited (Alastor x reader). It could be a part 2 technically ♥️♥️
Reader defending Husk from Alastor when he threatens him in ep 5?? Breaking their already destroyed friendship even more. I NEED ANGST IN MY LIFE
A/N uh,, of course??? i love this idea??? I... I'm obsessed. I'm literally so excited to write this. I hope you like whatever I come up with. If you requested something I will get it out in the next couple days!! I'm trying to be quick.
Unrequited Pt. 2 (Alastor x Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Angst and an unhealthy as fuck relationship. Pining. Non-mutual pining.
Word Count: 2,681 (The way this is like twice as long as part one. I got excited. Sorry guys.)
Part One: Unrequited (Alastor x Reader)
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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"So, once we have the proof that redemption is possible," Charlie was explaining to her father as they walked through the halls of the hotel, Vaggie and Alastor trailing behind the pair, "this whole hotel will be full of demons wanting to check out into Heaven. We just need a little more time to prove it. The sharing circles haven't been working as fast as I hoped-"
"Hey, Boss. Can we have a word?" Husk cut in.
Alastor stopped in his tracks, an eyebrow raised. Placing an arm behind his back, he turned to face the cat demon in irritation.
"What is it?" Alastor asked, his narrowed eyes the only thing about his face which displayed his true emotions.
Alastor's gaze softened slightly as he realized Y/n was standing beside Husk. She grabbed her left arm with her right, rubbing it in obvious discomfort as she looked away from Alastor and Husk, examining the walls with determination.
"Listen, we all know Mimzy only shows up when she needs somethin'." Husk sighed after a moment, realizing he wasn't going to be getting anything but moral support from his anxious and angry companion, "That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kinda demon she fucked with to come running to you this time?"
Alastor took a step forward, watching the two demon's carefully. Irritation ticked at the back of his head like a countdown for a bomb. He had to be careful. There was already so much wrong between Y/n and himself, he had no desire to make any of it worse. Alastor, as much as he hated it, knew she was close with Husk, cared for him even. He tried his best to remain calm.
"It's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry, Husker." Alastor turned away, moving to head back down the hallway after the rest of the tour, "Who in their right mind would cross me?"
Y/n looked over at her companion, feeling a shift in the air beside her. He had is fists clenched, his brow furrowed. Gently, she placed a hand on his shoulder.
Husk turned, meeting Y/n's eyes. She gave him a pointed look, one that reminded him who he was talking to. One that asked him to be careful. Husk took a deep breath and unclenched his muscles. Y/n's hand fell back to her side.
"I mean..." Husk tried to chose his words carefully. He was honestly worried about the whole Mimzy situation and wasn't going to give it up, "you've been gone a while and it's not like anyone knows why."
Alastor stilled, turning his head slightly to the side. He watched Husk carefully over his shoulder as he replied.
"They don't need to know." Alastor turned to face Husk fully now, leaning towards him with a finger in the air, "And don't you worry your fuzzy head about it."
Husk growled, pushing Alastor's hand from his head as the Radio Demon tried to scratch his ears.
"You may own my soul, but I ain't your fucking pet!" he snapped, poking Alastor harshly in the chest.
"But you are!" Alastor laughed, straightening himself.
Husk was trembling with anger now, unable to hold himself back. Alastor turned again, once more making to rejoin the group he had left and Husk watched him through narrowed eyes.
Y/n nudged Husk's foot lightly with the tip of her boot in an effort to remind him to keep his cool, but Husk brushed it off entirely. He stepped forward, out of her reach.
"Big talk for someone who's also on a leash."
Y/n sighed. Alastor stopped walking. The lights flickered out in the hall for a moment.
"Aha, what did you say?"
Alastor barley turned to look at them as he spoke. It was enough that Y/n caught the dials in his eyes, a sign he was truly and genuinely angry.
"Oh fuck." she mumbled under her breath as Husk began to back away.
"Nothing." he insisted, "I, um-"
Husk excuses were cut short as the all too familiar green chain and collar formed in the air around him. Alastor, his back still to Husk, tugged the chain. The cat demon fell to the floor, his eyes wide and wild with fear.
"If you ever say that again," Alastor threatened, his back still to Husk as he began to wrap his end of the chain around his microphone, pulling it taught, "I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams..."
There was a resistance in the chain. Alastor stopped speaking and turned around, his rage growing by the second. He opened his mouth to yell, he felt his demon form aching to come out. Everything stopped when he realized what was actually happening.
Alastor had assumed Husk had found something to hold on to, that he was fighting back. Alastor had been wrong. Instead, in the space between the two demons stood Y/n. She had her hands wrapped tightly around the green chain and was using all her weight to pull it back towards Husk. Alastor's mouth fell slightly open, his brow furrowed. He hadn't known someone not involved in a deal could touch the chains.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Y/n yelled, yanking the chain harshly towards her.
The movement caught Alastor off guard. He stumbled forward a few steps before catching his balance.
"Nothing is wrong with me, dearest." he cordially replied, quickly regaining his composure, "I'm simply reminding our favorite Husker where his place is in the world."
As Alastor spoke, he switched his menacing gaze back to Husk who was trembling on the floor behind Y/n.
"You're a dick!" Y/n exclaimed, trying to pull Alastor towards her again with the chain.
This time, he was ready for it and stood his ground as Y/n continued to speak.
"He was genuinely worried about you, you know? I didn't want to ask about this Mimzy shit, I wanted to watch you fucking fail for once but Husk? He was worried. He cared about you, and what do you do?"
Y/n exhaled sharply, shaking her head. Alastor watched in awe. This was the biggest reaction he'd gotten out of the girl in years. He had no idea how to react. It was oddly heartbreaking, oddly exhilarating.
"I just... god, I can't believe I ever trusted you."
The chain disappeared in Alastor's shock. Y/n regarded him carefully for a moment before she decided not to waste time and turned to Husk. Crouching down before him, she slowly helped her friend to his feet. Allowing him to balance on her, Y/n began to lead the still trembling Husk down the hallway back to the lobby.
Husk couldn't help but notice, Y/n's hands were far from still either. He looked over at her: brow furrowed, eyes narrowed, a tight frown on her lips. Husk opened his mouth to speak, to thank her, to ask if she was okay but before he could say a word, Alastor spoke again.
"Y/n, I'd like a word with you."
She stilled and so did Husk. This time, it was her turn to keep her back towards Alastor, rather than him keeping his to them. If she had learned anything from Alastor over the years, it was how power worked. Right now, she had the slightest bit of an upper hand unless he decided to use the chain of her own deal. Y/n wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.
"Why?" she asked harshly after a moment.
Husk raised his eyebrows, reiterating the unspoken warning he'd ignored from her just a few moments before.
"Please."
Now that was unexpected. Y/n sighed, turning to Husk.
"You okay to go down on your own?"
"Yeah." Husk nodded, "Thank you."
"Anytime."
Y/n took his arm from her shoulder. Had it been anyone else, Husk would have been embarrassed, would have never accepted the help in the first place. This was Y/n, this was different. If anyone understood, she did.
"You gonna be okay, kid?" Husk asked in a hushed voice as she squared her shoulders, turning to face Alastor.
"Yeah." she hummed softly in return, "Always am, aren't I?"
Y/n took a handful of long, confident strides that landed her in front of Alastor once again. She stood tall and confident before him as he smiled menacingly down at her. Husk stood, watching them for a moment before Alastor looked over at him.
"Run along now, Husker." he playfully called to the reluctant cat demon, "I won't keep your soldier long."
Husk made no reply or move to leave until Y/n turned her head to the side, sending him a careful look over her shoulder.
"It's all good. I promise."
Husk nodded hesitently before at last turning around and heading back to the lobby. Y/n and Alastor watched one another carefully, niether saying a word until Husk was fully out of ear shot.
"What did you want to see me about?" Y/n asked coldly, crossing her arms, ready to be punished and not the least bit regretful of what she had done.
"I simply wanted to apologize." Alastor hummed, everything suddenly feeling a lot closer to normal.
Y/n's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"For what?" she asked after a moment, when it became clear Alastor would explain nothing without her prompting.
"That you had to witness that."
"I-" Y/n cut herself off with a sigh, shaking her head slightly, "Jesus fuck, Al."
"Language." he warned and Y/n just glared at him. He changed his tactic. "What ever is the matter, my dear?"
"You are just... why are you apologizing to me?" Y/n demanded, frustration seeping into her voice like sweet sticky honey that caught on everything, "Go apologize to Husk. As I already said, I was hoping this... Mimzy thing... would let me see you fail. He just wanted to help you, and look where that got him."
Alastor's perpetual smile softened slightly around it's edges.
"Why are you so set on watching me fail?" he asked after a a few tense seconds.
Y/n let out a rueful laugh, letting her arms fall from around her chest and settling her hands on her hips.
"Because gosh, wouldn't it just be lovely?" she grinned back at him.
"What?"
"If you got a taste of your own medicine." she taunted, "Caring about someone, trusting them with everything you have, only to have that very thing be the weapon they hold against you in the end."
Of course, it all came back to that. Alastor couldn't blame her.
"Y/n, I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to believe me, but I really did not intend for things to turn out this way." Alastor sighed.
Seven years since he'd seen her and it only took them what, four/five months to come back to this conversation? A new record.
"It doesn't matter how you intended for them to be, it's how they are."
She spun on her heel, taking a few steps towards the lobby before coming to a stop once again.
"Sorry, I forgot." she spat, not turning to look at him, "May I go now, sir?"
"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "Of course. I have business to attend to."
"Great."
Alastor stood in the hallway, watching Y/n as she disappeared around the corner, watching the air she had occupied. He sighed, there was nothing to be done. There had been some small hope that somehow, someway, the hotel would hope. Clearly, he had been wrong. Alastor shook his head softly in the quiet peace of the hallway.
He wanted to give up on Y/n, he knew he should but still... he just couldn't. It was like a puzzle he was missing a piece of, a game he hadn't quite figured out how to win. A challenge. Alastor never backed down from one of those. He never had before and he certainly wasn't going to start now.
The strange jittery feeling of determination began to feed into his chest cavity through his veins. Doubt, anger, hurt, heartbreak -- all of it was being flushed out and replaced with sheer stubbornness. Alastor couldn't help but feel if he had Y/n, then everything would be okay. That she was the answer to his problems, that if she could love him then he would finally have won. What? Not even Alastor himself could say but that wasn't going to stop him. Nothing was.
----
Y/n sat down at the bar with a sigh as Husk quickly poured her a drink.
"Thank you." he awkwardly said as she downed the glass in one gulp, tapping the edge to ask for a refil.
"For what?" Y/n casually replied as he refilled her cup.
She picked it back up again, this time taking only a single small sip. She savored the second drink and Husk leaned forward on the bar.
"You know what." he rolled his eyes pointedly.
Thankfully Angel and Sir Pentions were keeping Mimzy entertained in the sitting room. None of the trio seemed to notice Husk and Y/n's return. Y/n swiveled her barstool around, leaning her back on the bar top as she watched them enjoy one another's company.
"Shit, Husk." she sighed, "You know me."
"I do." Husk nodded, straightening up and turning to place the bottle of liquor back on the shelf, "What I don't know is how you had the balls to pull something like that."
"I'm not afraid of him." Y/n shrugged, taking another little sip of her drink.
"Bullshit." Husk scoffed and Y/n turned back to him.
"I swear it, I'm not."
"How." Husk asked, eyeing her suspiciously, waiting for her to drop the act, "I felt you shaking earlier."
Y/n shook her head.
"Nah, that wasn't fear. I was just fucking pissed."
"He's the Radio Demon, he literally owns our souls, Y/n. How are you not scared of him."
Y/n's eyes fell onto the contents of her glass as she shrugged again, swirling the liquid around in the bottom of her glass.
"I..." she sighed, "I mean, you know this. I didn't know that's what was going on until..." she trailed off, clearing her throat, "We were friends, for a while actually."
"I know. I remember."
"I cared about him."
The truth hit Husk in the face like a speeding truck.
"Holy shit." he laughed in disbelief, "You like, cared cared about him, didn't you?"
Y/n's cheeks flushed the slightest bit pink. She met Husk's eyes once again.
"I think I was starting to."
"That's why your not scared of him. You loved him."
"Yeah." Y/n sighed after a moment, a sharp pain cutting through her chest like someone was cracking open her ribcage in a morgue, "I guess. Did being the operative word there of course, as in: not anymore. Not that he could ever love someone anyways even if I still did. Oh! Also, if he apologizes to you, tell me?"
"Wh..." Husk's brow furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in topic, "Why would he apologize to me, Y/n?"
"I maybe yelled at him."
"I... you're gonna get yourself killed one day."
Y/n laughed a bright, genuine laugh and Husk smiled over at her in return.
"Maybe." she smirked, leaning over the counter at him, "At least I'll have you to plan my funeral."
"Oh like I'd do that." Husk teased.
"Sure you would."
"Yeah. I'd have it at a gas station."
"Hey, rude." Y/n scoffed, "If you died, I'd throw yours at a casino or something. I'd expect the same kinda treatment on your end for me."
Husk shook his head softly, smiling. At the end of the day, he couldn't help feeling a little lucky for Alastor's deal. How else was he supposed to have met his best friend?
"Yep. Definitely gonna be at a gas station."
---
A/N I'm sorry Husk and the reader are besties and that's what this ended up being about. Yeah. Uh. Yeah.
Unrequited Pt. 3
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the-mighty-e · 9 months ago
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Okay so... I was doing a md rewatch before ep 7, and I noticed something in ep 4 that I NEVER noticed before.
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In the scene where V covers up Uzi, when she sits down, I always thought she was frowning. Cuz like in ep 3 she's starting to realize that worker drones don't actually care about death anymore or smth like that.
BUT NO
SHE'S ACTUALLY SMILING IN THE SECOND IMAGE IM GONNA BE SICK
And after noticing that I started thinking back on her behavior with Uzi and realized how much she actually cares about her.
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Look at her smile. She's starting to care about the workers smmmm Im crying
Okay now for Vuzi. In ep 4 V initially saw her as just a "purple thing", later on as Cyn. But probably N saying "what did I say about antagonizing her?" got her thinking. What if she was really antagonizing her? That's why she covered her with the teacher, and that's why she smiled.
Now, episode 5 doesn't have much about them. We know that V remembers stuff from her time as a worker, so we know that she got once possessed by Cyn. She would be the only drone ever to understand what Uzi is going through. (another reason why she protected her in ep 4).
This reflects in ep 6. When Alice cuts Uzi's finger she can be seen flinching.
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Idk about you, but it's kinda strange for V, the most insane out of the trio, to flinch when someone's finger got cut off.
This further proves just how much V started to care about Uzi. Same when Alice and Beau died and she was trying to escape the Sentinels. She immediately rushed to save Uzi, even if she just witnessed her getting fully possessed for 5 good seconds by Cyn
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She didn't have to save her. She could've ran away, leaving Uzi to be killed by the next sentinel that passed by. But she didn't. She brought her back to N and Tessa, holding her tightly
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And of course.
When they saw the Doll trap.
V immediately went to protect Uzi, getting extremely worried too when she was about to use her solver
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This shows just how V started to like Uzi. She initially saw her as a thread, another Cyn, a thing and a monster. But after the sky therapy she probably saw herself in Uzi. Someone who's always been alone, someone who the solver can control however it wants. A poor possessed worked, confused and scared.
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Moving to her sacrifice. The very first time V called Uzi by name instead of dumb nicknames. Immediately before she was smiling after N said that they still needed her. But she didn't believe him fully. They could do well without her, she probably thought. She had done nothing but cause troubles with Uzi. She wanted to make it right
Giving her full trust to Uzi, giving her life to Uzi. She was literally half possessed by Cyn but V still decided to trust her. And then she smiled at her.
That smile, immediately after the "I trust you" meant a lot coming from V. That smile was to assure Uzi that she doesn't see her as an enemy anymore.
Okay rant is over because I'm tearing up.
I love Vuzi so much I love tragic yuri 😭
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agatharkn3ss · 3 months ago
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Lilia Calderu is extremely important (Spoilers)
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Lilia says in ep.5 that she "reads people" and she "reads time". But she is much more than that, she just doesn't know it yet.
I believe Lilia Calderu is Fate itself - or Fate of this coven at least.
You can see the background of Patti's end credit is the tarot table. This is going to be her air trial in episode 7. But do you also see the word "Fate"? Circled in red?
Now... Doesn't that remind you of something? Like maybe... "Circle sewn with Fate"?
Oh and what else does Lilia do? That's right, her side hustle "Lilia's Leggings"! The motif of sewing around Lilia is repeated throughout episode 2 - she has a sewing machine in her kitchen/bedroom and when she starts singing the ballad, there are big thread spools in her background. Could they be any more obvious?
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Without Lilia, there would be no coven. She is the one who sends the list of names to her past self so that they can form their circle.
I am convinced she will do this as part of her trial. She will be doing a tarot reading and sending messages to the past events, trying to find the right time - just as she uncovers her tarot cards - and yes, that's including the broken line "Alice don't try to save Agatha".
If you want to know more about how I think those messages will be send, I have described the detail in this post.
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The tarot cards that have been used so far give us insights into the story - not just because of their tarot meanings, but also because the images on those cards correspond exactly to the moments when Lilia said their names out loud.
These are the scenes as seen through Fate's eyes.
Three of Pentacles has the coven singing the Ballad. Three of Swords is the moment before Teen is healed - they are in the woods, on the purple Road and Lilia sees Agatha's heart being broken three-fold (because of Rio, Nicky and now Teen). High Priestess is exactly how Lilia first met Jen - with the rays coming out of the painting behind her. And finally, the Knight of Wands is standing in exactly the same stance as Alice was when she saved Agatha.
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The rest of the cards, although not named in the show yet, will likely make appearance in her trial. Queen of Cups bears striking resemblance to young Lilia. Death is holding a dagger and a black heart, and is surrounded by flowers... And finally, there is the Tower card. Which is going to be about the her tarot (Air) trial.
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You can read more about my predictions on how her episode 7 trial will go in this post.
But essentially, the members of the coven will be dressed up as the evil witches from the pop culture, while Lilia will be in white - like Glinda the Good Witch. So it looks like Lilia will need to confront those negative stereotypes yet again. She will also understand, that although she predicted tragedies in the past, she actually has the power to predict something good, even control it.
There will be swords sticking out of the ceiling and falling down to the floor - probably serving as a time reminder. You can see those swords in the poster above too. There is another poster - that resembling the cover of "The Crucible" - a play about the Salem witch trials. Again, we see the "thread" elements clearly here.
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Unfortunately, we know that Salem Seven manage to get inside the trial too. I think once Lilia completes her task to finish the tarot reading and deliver the list to the past, she will then flip the sand timer - another reminder that she can, in fact, control time. Unfortunately, flipping the timer will also mean that the whole tower room they are in, will also flip upside down. We see Lilia and Salem Seven floating up. Sadly, I think that means that they will end up impaled on those swords? We can't see anyone else from the coven.
The Tower card seems to suggest people floating, but there is also a blue crown being toppled off the top. I wonder what that means for Billy.
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That last shot breaks my heart!
But to finish on a different note, there is even more to Lilia Calderu.
You see, every tarot card has this little squiggle in the corner. Looks familiar?
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I believe, after all this, that it is Lilia who puts the sigil on Teen - again, this maybe done in retrospect, when she sends her messages from the future. She knows that Teen's identity must be hidden or Agatha never becomes interested in what he has to say. And maybe others' decisions would change too if they knew. Maybe he needs protecting from the Salem Seven, because he is the son of the Scarlet Witch (that Salem witches call the Harbinger of Chaos and wanted to attack Wanda). Or even protection from Lady Death herself - because if she found out he was literally a ghost, reincarnated, she would want the body to restore the order?
So, in her true style, she literally SEWS the sigil onto Billy's mouth.
Lilia Calderu, what a legend. She is FATE.
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