#I made this during a meeting that should’ve actually not even existed even as an email
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rowanisawriter · 2 months ago
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lunalikestowriteanddraw · 24 days ago
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First impressions of EOM (after finishing episode 1)
Story thus far: ?????? How can I verbally express how much I love it so far????? The train???? The mystique????? The conductor (who may or may not also be the narrator)????? The fucking MOON???? I just. I can’t verbally express how much this campaign already has me hooked. This campaign got me hooked faster than Icebound did, and I thought that Icebound hooked me pretty quickly (since I was all on board for Icebound by the end of Ep 1). But EOM? I was on board (heh) by the time the train first appeared to collect Jericho. Oooohhhh I’m so intrigued.
Jericho: I love him. He’s, admittedly, the character I knew the most about going into EOM, and I still knew next to nothing about him. I just knew that he was a living scarecrow and I knew about Virgil. I did NOT know about the demon, holy fuck. I’m curious. Also…he’s just so…I wanna hug him. So much. Poor guy deserves it. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I think it was inevitable I’d immediately fall in love with him. I mean, the first clue should’ve been that I immediately fell in love with Torbek (to the point where he literally got me into LOA in the first place), who is also a sad character with…oof. Iykyk. But also Jericho was, admittedly, the main reason why I finally decided on EOM as I was done catching up with Icebound. With the mixture of the couple of EOM shorts I’ve seen revolving around Jericho in some way, the bunch of Jericho fanart I’ve seen on here, and the Jericho song they revealed during the anniversary stream? Yeah…it was inevitable. Idk why I’m even surprised (actually, I think I’m mostly shocked that I fell in love with him the moment he started speaking)
Lethica: when Andy said during their BG3 gameplay on the stream on Saturday, that he was surprised that Lethica and Shadowheart’s stories were eerily similar, with Mace then asking if Shart was a cleric of Shar, I didn’t even begin to wonder as to WHY Mace even thought that. I was just shocked that he was right on the money for Shart. Then comes my absolute bamboozlement when reading Lethica’s card, seeing that she was ALSO a cleric of Shar, that suddenly Mace’s question and Andy’s comment made sense. Character-wise, she’s interesting so far. I love that she was immediately just. Very kind to Jericho. I’m interested to see where her character goes.
Marius, Briggsy, and Farryn: don’t have much to talk about either of these characters so far, so I’m combining them. Like Lethica, I weirdly love the fact that he was immediately very warm to Jericho upon meeting him. Also that he’s a very…hopeful person? It’s hard to say what I’m trying to get here, I’m just intrigued by his standpoint, and his relation to Lathander. All I really knew about Marius before going into EOM was his ship with Lethica, and I find it kinda funny that it’s—quite literally—Light x Darkness, just because of their respective gods. Very fun. I like Briggsy’s personality so far. And also, if I had a nickel for every time Richie played a lizardfolk warlock with some relation to death, well…I’d have 2 nickels. That I know of, anyway. And Farryn…I’m sorry but I didn’t even know you existed until I saw you paired against Gideon in the “which is gayer” LOA polls that’s going around. You’re cool so far tho. Like the accent.
Tl:dr: the story has me hooked, I will die for Jericho if he asked (tho he probably wouldn’t bc he’s such a sweetheart), Lethica is really cool so far, and the others are there too, I guess.
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mores0 · 2 years ago
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The Time Lords Peaked at The War Games.
In my opinion, I think the Time Lords were at their best during the War games. Because before the War games, we didn’t really know anything about the Time Lords or Gallifrey, or any of that really.
But then the War Games comes ripping around the corner and everything took a sudden turn before the Time Lords were even mentioned by name.  Then they were, and the Doctor explains that the Time Lords are his people and Jamie was like, ‘oh, everything’s alright then, if they’re your people than that must be a good thing because you’re good,’ (not what he actually said, but it’s what he meant) but it wasn’t. Like the scene in the End of Time part two with Wilfred and Ten (and I’ll get to that later, hang on).  And when The Doctor went to call the Time Lords, even the War Chief, the main baddie of the entire series, was frightened which really tells you something.
Then the Doctor tells Jamie and Zoe to stay there because the Time Lords will take them home as well. But Jamie and Zoe refused, because of course they would, and the Doctor just gives in and was just like ‘alright then’ and they all move on. And now the Doctor was like ‘okay, but we have to get the hell out of here before the Time Lords get here’ But then the Time Lords begin to arrive.
Then everything begins to slow down. And they begin to slow down. And the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe are trying to run to the TARDIS, but they’re moving at a snails pace, and in the background there’s a haunting and suspenseful song being played, and at this point the Doctor is making a desperate crawl to the TARDIS, but he’s just not close enough to get in, and it was terrible.  But luckily, Jamie was able to open the doors, and it’s like thank God, they made it, everything’s okay now! Wahoo!
But then the Time Lords start to take over the TARDIS to take them back to Gallifrey. And then the Time Lords make their first actual appearance.
They tell the Doctor that he has to come home immediately and face trial, but the Doctor didn’t want to and just wanted them to leave him alone, but of course they didn’t. So they tried flooding the TARDIS, telling the Doctor that his travels were over. So they went to Gallifrey.
And the Time Lords were just so /calm/ throughout the whole thing. They never yelled or got angry, they just said everything like there wasn’t any other option, and it was terrifying.
Then there were the trials where the Time Lords keep their calm and just wiped the War Cheif from existence like it was nothing.
And in trial, after being convinced that the Doctor still has a role to play in the universe, it was another ‘wahoo’ moment, because then they all try to escape, and everything should’ve been fine. In any other episode or series, they would’ve gotten away and had more adventures, but in the War Games, they don’t. They can’t.  So they all say their goodbyes, “I won’t forget you.”
But they do. All of Jamie’s and Zoe’s memories of the Doctor, and of everything they’ve done and seen and accomplished besides their first meeting were wiped away like nothing at all.
And on top of that, they force the Doctor to regenerate to be put on exile in what has to be one of the most terrifying and depressing regeneration in all of Doctor Who, as the Doctor yells “no, no, no” as everything spins before disappearing completely— like what the fuck?? I honestly cried while watching this.
And compared to every other episode or series the Time Lords popped up in, from Classic to New Who, they haven’t matched up to the War Games.
Not even in The End of Time, where they were at their most threatening under the War Games. But at the end of the day, in the End of Time, the Doctor beat the Time Lords, the day was saved, he could’ve went and had more adventures, and the only reason why he didn’t was because of Wilfred in the little machine thingy, not the Time Lords. And they kind of took the back seat to the Master if I’m being completely honest. The Master was the main threat really, not them.
So overall, I believe that the Time Lords were at their best, most menacing and impactful in the War Games, because in everything else it’s always felt as if they took the sidelines, and were always just easily brushed aside or defeated, while in the War Games, they won. And they did so easily.
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daringdoombringer · 2 years ago
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Got bored and made this, now that I have a decent amount of Ocs now. Is this just an excuse to summarize their backstories? Yea probably. One things for certain I am FAR NICER to my Ocs than a lot of people. They are my children and they deserve happiness goddamit.
Tier One: Moderate to Typical Oc Trauma/yea you need therapy after that you’re ✨messed up✨ now
Matthew Fencer: Originally made solely as a protagonist for an MCYT horror game thing before evolving into his own character (and the “AU” evolved into its own thing/story/timeline whatever) so yeah I’d say he’s been through some crap. Mofo had SIX very angry people-turned-monsters trying to kill him cause they weren’t happy he was entering their town without permission (actually, at all). He didn’t even enter on purpose he was just kinda SCP-spacial-anomalied in there by chaos magic from several miles away while he was tryna take a walk poor guy. Bro needed a lot of therapy after risking his life to break a curse. But he did (kinda) make a friend during that whole fiasco and he has a wonderful girlfriend who was glad to see him alive after he went missing so ✨yippie✨ happy ending
Anchihiro.ExE: Was a human until Sonic.ExE/Xenophae killed them and now it’s a disembodied soul trapped in a Sonic ROM hack they shouldn’t have clicked on that’s floating around the internet. Idk how it would get therapy at this point since it’s yaknow… DEAD. (I still have the Gacha edit thing I made of their death for a video last summer. There is so much blood.) Pretty sure I did Anchihiro the most dirty out of everyone since they’re the only one who actually dies. Not to mention they are somehow trapped with the fucker who killed it in the first place (who is trying to gather human souls so they can become powerful enough to leave the video game realm) so yeah imagine being stuck with your sworn enemy in a video game for all eternity #skillissue At least it’s befriended Fleetway and Tails Doll so they’re not entirely alone????
Cyroblast: Was an elven soldier sent to the Frozen Wastelands of Vesh to find a treasure, got badly wounded and JUST ABOUT froze to death until King Pen found him and managed to revive him with Mind Magic. Now he’s half Undead and often wondering if he should even be alive. Also he’s realizing the king he worked for is actually an a-hole and wouldn’t have cared if the entire squadron died, he just wanted the treasure that probs don’t even exist. And did I mention his nose and mouth are just g o n e? (the head I used in Imaginators didn’t have em and it worked it’s way into his drawn design :P) But hey, he’s great with a blizzard bazooka and made plenty of awesome friends at the Academy who are there to help him, so I’d say he’s alright.
Raystrike: Hers isn’t even as bad as these other three she just had a strict/kinda mean family and now she has really low self esteem because of that. She did meet a bisexual fire spirt (Spellfire) who’s just as confused about the world as she is and they’re gay now along with Mysticat being like the genuinely supportive parent she never got so ✨yayyyy✨ she’s healing we love that
Tier Two: you had like one or two milder things happen you’ll be alright
Foreclash: Bro just got teleported into a cave while trying to get the vortex at Shellmont Shores under control, and was stuck there for I think a week before Starcast found them. Other than maybe some mild claustrophobia/homesickness he’s fine.
Shield Shocker: just daddy issues lol. He just hates the fact his father (a very powerful tornado dragon) is evil and wants to spite him. The dad also plays a role with Cool Factor but we’ll get to that in a moment.
Shade Ace: found a weird spell in a book and it cursed them/turned them into an undead lizardy thingy don’t do necromancy kids
Mecha Quad: His workshop was attacked by Greeble air barons and he lost his legs. He should’ve died but he was like PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION and he built himself a new set of cyborg legs, tracked down the baron base and beat all their asses. Bro death/giving up could’ve been a one-way street but you somehow did a u-turn you go dude✨✨✨
Tier Three: no trauma, you’re good👍
I’m just gonna stick Cool Factor’s summary here cause something did happen to him but it wasn’t necessarily bad for him or anything. The curse Shield Shocker’s dad put on him just caused him to be part dragon and have his dry ice powers/magic and he was like “oh hey this is cool :D” Cool Factor and Shield Shocker did have a V E R Y awkward conversation about it (cause none of Factor’s family really told him about it) so other than MAYBE a mini epiphany he’s completely fine.
And uh everyone else didn’t really have anything major happen: Spellfire’s just glad to have a physical form (and an awesome girlfriend), Trick Black bamboozled Count Moneybone cause they didn’t wanna join him, Heat Stroke helped Freeze Blade and Doom Stone destroy some Evilizers, Spring Bloom was accidentally created after Hoot Loop zapped a tree, and Ground Pound has barely even been brainstormed yet. But yeah that’s everybody, I love them all✨✨✨✨✨
OH AND ONE MORE THING SHIELD SHOCKER AND SHADE ACE ARE GAY
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ruminate88 · 5 months ago
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I made this mistake 🥺❤️‍🩹 I had my private photos posted on Twitter by a guy friend, Jake, and I was so mortified and humiliated, I remember just praying and begging God to make it all go away. I was so sorry for trusting that guy… well, I pressed on. I met Cody and he love bombed me twice before ghosting me!! Oh man, I didn’t even know what to think or how to feel. I was just stunned and didn’t even know how to understand or process. I moved forward and continued to put myself out there on dating apps….
Then I met Andrew, the greatest and most terrible person in my life. I was so numb from Cody and Andrew was the first to make me feel something. So for a summer I flirt with Andrew and at some point it wasn’t going anywhere and I should’ve got out but I was too attached already and knew I was gonna get my heart broken so I felt I had to stay. We started a “relationship” that fall when he’s back in college for his sophomore year!!!
we were together until his spring break. He has love bombed me and made me believe we were serious. I was ready at that point to tell my family about him but he asked me to wait…. 😝 he said “we need more time together and get to know each other more”. Basically he was just wasting my time!! I tried to get closer after the love bombing. I pushed and pushed. I told him so many times, “I want more of you. You act like you’re too busy to spend time with me.” He would PROMISE he’s gonna give me more and said I was his priority but clearly he was lying and I was stupidly falling for it… after 3 attempts to end the relationship and he doesn’t change, I called B.S. and realized not only would I never get to actually meet his parents, he was most likely talking to other girls the same way he’s talking to me. 💔💔💔 I broke up with him but he acted as if he broke up with me instead. 🤨 He was a robot and very nonchalant about the break up plus asked me would I remain his “friend”?? ugh!! I was in stupid trauma bond with him but knew nothing like that existed… so I tried to stay “friends” with him but he doesn’t want that. He’s only talking to me for my nudes and attention. He begins to post “his real girlfriend” on his IG to rub it in my face but also keeps trying to flirt with me. I delete my IG account and made a new one that didn’t reek of him.
I was in so much confusion and pain. The summer after I’m trying to stay no contact from him; he would call me from his work and listen to me talk but act like he “butt dialed me”. I KNEW he was listening. I was tired of crying to him and he doesn’t seem to care. Idk it’s creepy. I tried so hard to stay no contact. I downloaded new dating apps and met my husband. In less than 4 months after Andrew’s creepy stalking behavior, I’m in this new relationship and I need to heal but have NO IDEA still. I wouldn’t stop talking about Andrew and Cody. At some point my husband asked me to please stop and move on… wow. I tried so hard. ANDREW CAME BACK!! This time FaceTiming me but hanging up after a couple rings. He just wanted his name on my phone… he wanted to watch me suffer over him.
I blocked his number, per my husband’s request AND my husband FaceTimed Andrew and threatened him to leave me alone or else. Woooooow now I really do have to move on. A little over a year later, I’m married now. I NEVER stopped running to even consider what happened to me or that I had unhealed trauma. I was angry at my husband for no reason, super emotional and could cry at the drop of a hat. I’m disconnected and I’m physically sick. I randomly lost over 25 lbs in a couple weeks and everyone around me was scared. I tried to see a doctor but it was back during “covid” and I couldn’t get an in person appointment. I suffered and had no idea why. Also, I could NOT stop thinking of Andrew.
I would Google every day, “why can’t I get over my ex?? What’s wrong with me??” Never knowing what a “trauma bond” is or that I have trauma. Took me years of begging God for answers until I saw my first video on TikTok about “emotional abuse”. FINALLY but yet I didn’t know I had to heal. Another year later and I need to reflect on the past and talk about what happened but idk who will understand me or who will say I’m crazy. I made this account privately and I’m learning so much about myself every time I blog.
listen, don’t just keep jumping into relationships like I did…. Please take good care of your heart and soul ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 feed your soul daily with healthy and loving words. Talk positively to yourself. Honor your gut when you know things are off. I didn’t, I wanted Andrew to be the one because I was insanely attracted to him 😜 I mean, I thought he was crazy gorgeous with his sandy blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. (Plus an award winning smile) so I ignored my feelings completely and I paid for it in the end. 😓💔💔💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹healing is a process and so is forgiveness! Take it all one day at a time even if it’s baby steps ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
Always, always take the time to sit with and process your feelings. Often we live through events that are major for us and afterwards we just keep going - we do not stop to check our breathing, our heartbeat, our mental state. A lot of situations cause a lot of difficult emotions and while it is ok to let them exist for a while, it is not ok to bury them. Make room for your feelings and thoughts, my love. Remember to reflect on your experiences and make sure to evaluate how you feel about them. Reflection is the key to truly knowing yourself, to truly healing yourself.
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187days · 2 years ago
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Day One Hundred Forty-Two
Today was an early release day. We all had work to do in our departments: curriculum redesign stuff for next year, looking at learning progressions, etc, etc... 
My World students spent the shortened class time working on their book papers. The goal was to finish a draft by the end of the block, and I was really impressed with how some students gave themselves little deadlines each day in order to meet that goal (doing for themselves what we’d done together when they wrote religion/philosophy essays a couple weeks ago). There are some students who still struggle with time management- and, of course, some who didn’t read their books and are still trying to find ways around that- so I have work to do in the future to help them. I did ask that they turn in their drafts, so I could at least see what they’ve done so far and give them advice on how to continue. I was able to do that today, and I’m going to leave feedback on the finished drafts during my prep time tomorrow so that students can revise in class. 
My APGOV class was smaller than usual- students, especially seniors, sometimes opt to skip the early release days- but large enough for me to put students in two groups to compare and contrast the preambles of the Democratic and Republican party platforms. That was me segue into discussing the role of political parties as a linkage institution. I lectured on that for about fifteen minutes, assigned an article on party realignment and dealignment for homework, and then the bell rang as if it was on cue. 
I was able to eat lunch with folks I don’t normally get to eat with: Mrs. T, Mrs. R, basically all of the foreign language teachers. I caused a stir, though, because the conversation turned to the fact that we haven’t done any active shooter drills since Alice training last fall, mainly because the police started revising their safety plans after Uvalde, and then another shooting happened that made them revise more, and then another, and... you get it. But my colleagues want The Principal to put out whatever plans they do have, they want us to have discussions with our students and maybe even drills. I’m fine with discussions, I’m not fine with Alice-style drills, because they’re ineffective at best and traumatic at worst. I said something to the effect of, “They just exist to make us all feel like we’re actually doing something,” and that did not go over well. 
Should’ve just kept my mouth shut. 
Anyways, after lunch we all went to our meetings. I walked into mine and told Mrs. Z I’d broken up a fight on Monday and gotten observed teaching on Tuesday, so I’m having an epic week. She insisted on hearing all the details, and that led to a tangent about yesterday’s school board elections (side note: our school budget and teaching contract both passed, woohoo!) because several candidates named school safety as an issue they wanted to focus on if elected. And then we got down to business. 
We had about an hour to work on our own afterwards. I wrote a new vocab practice assignment to give in World tomorrow after students finish revising their papers, set everything up for my next APGOV lesson (on campaigns and elections), responded to some emails, and called it a day. 
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gwhite2by2 · 2 years ago
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Project Evaluation
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For this project I originally wanted to have a much bigger focus on narrative, I do normally have some narrative elements but it never really wrote any scripts or clearly outlined anything and that was something I wanted to do for this project but ultimately didn’t get a whole lot done on that side mostly because it wasn’t what I wanted to do it, I didn’t enjoy it and instead just wanted to keep working away on unreal and the dialogue I didn’t write wasn’t any better than normal mostly because I wasn't properly engaged in it being my main focus. One place where I did move on from old habits was the use of AI generated music for the game instead of using existing songs as it helped me differentiate my world and idea from the music that helped me come up with it and I learnt how to efficiently make use of boomy’s tools to generate music that fits as well as music can fit for it being generated and not made by a person. This also helped me reach the collaboration requirement of this project even if it was at a small level as I was worried about being able to get something on that side of the project.
I think I did a better job this project than I have on my previous year 2 projects of just simply making it clear what my design decisions behind mechanics of the game where and why I thought they would work particularly with the dual item system which I think is much better and more thought out item system than I had in some of my previous projects. I also think that although I didn’t get nearly as far into it or as much done with it as I’d hoped that the concept I’d come with was cool, unique and fit both the 2 by 2 and Noah's ark themes in a cool way. The original concept also fit the collaboration brief with NPC’s helping out but in the end I didn’t have time to implement those mechanics so I’m a little bit disappointed by that but I know that the ideas were there and that I mentioned them in my blog. In terms of actually meeting the collaboration aspect of the brief I think I spent too much time researching different AI tools and talking about how would use them in game instead of actually just implementing the game and by the end I had some surface level visual inspirations implemented as well as two AI generated pieces of music that I think came out all right. I think using AI over directly working in a team was the right choice for me personally and AI music in particular I think I will be using for future projects but I could’ve done a better job of directly implementing that into the games itself which is something I’ll be trying to do in future.
I think that I got overly ambitious with this project and expected myself to have a much larger game by the end of the project and instead I feel like I have an unbalanced half finished demo but when I look back and remember that I’ve only had 4 weeks Instead of the usually roughly 6 and remember where I was at 4 weeks into previous projects I realize that I have done pretty well and just got overly ambitious with the concept. I do however think at the same time that I could’ve had a much cleaner more solid game if I had some point during the project tempered down what I wanted to get done and just focused more on certain elements instead of wasting time trying to get myself to write dialogue on slides which I really didn’t enjoy doing that I could’ve made something more cohesive and finished. My final outcome only really meets my project proposal as like a demo of what I envisioned but still meets the majority of the requirements I set for myself. 
I think the biggest thing I learnt from this project is that I just really don't like writing dialogue in the template that I had set up for myself which sounds like a small silly thing but I spent a lot more time that I should’ve just trying to get myself to get on it with a write which led to it feeling forced and unenjoyable. One thing that was a big negative for this project but will be great for FMP is that I just felt disconnected from this project and didn’t feel that attached to the idea which led to decreased motivation for it which was mainly due to the fact I already had an idea for my FMP that I’m very much in love with and wanted to start work on immediately but didn’t use for this project due to the fact I wanted te longer development time of the FMP to work on it. This means that I almost definitely won’t have the same lack of motivation for my FMP as I did for this project since I’m so excited about the idea and I want to bring it to life to the absolute best of my ability. Another thing that I think contributed to the lack of motivation was thinking about the scope of my idea and looking at how much time I had left just made particular mechanics feel daunting to start and made just getting on with much harder and the fact that I’d made very similar mechanics in the past made it feel more like repetitive work rather than the usual fun desperation to see my ideas brought to life although those repeated mechanics were what I wanted for the game. These are all problems I don’t think I’l have for my FMP just because of my excitement for the idea, the longer development time and the fact that it will be very differently structurally and mechanically from previous projects which means I’m giving myself fresher mechanically ideas to think about.
Overall I think this a project that I should be proud of since I made a lot of progress in visual effects, music, art direction and much cleaner implementation of mechanics but I ultimately just don’t and feel like it could’ve been so much more and that there was a lot of missed potential, especially with the sequel template but I am happy enough that the game is in a decent state and I can soon move onto FMP which I am very excited about and I think will go incredibly well as I haven’t been this excited about an idea since my year 1 FMP which came out well for the same reasons.
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daisylikesmedia · 2 years ago
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Series 7 Episode 14: The Name of the Doctor
OKAY here we are, we made it to the finale of 7B. My opinion on this series hasn’t been particularly bright, let’s see if the ending is able to salvage the series for me. It’s time for us to review The Name of the Doctor.
So hey the villain! The Great Intelligence is back, and this time with these spooky whisper men. I think the design of these guys is kinda nailed, but I would’ve loved more build-up for the Great Intelligence’s return. Having them pop up in the Snowmen as the main antagonist and then as a call-back in Bells of St John is good, but I then proceeded to completely forget they existed until this final episode, which is a shame cause I think they are a kinda cool villain.
I do think though that this story uses the “Steven Moffat writes an 11th Doctor series finale” trope of going to a bunch of crazy high-concept places to its strength. The settings feel really creative in this episode, but also creative with purpose. The dream-scape used to communicate with everyone is shot and lit very well to create that trippy atmosphere, and Trenzalore’s graveyard & the overgrown TARDIS just look and feel sosososo cool. These locales also serve the plot well, which is SO important when often in these finales it can feel like we’re being dragged to these locations for seemingly no reason.
Also whilst I do like River Song, and think it was nice that she showed up for this, seeing her have such a prominent role in this finale despite her only appearing once before in this series did strike me as a bit odd. Sure the same thing happened in Series 5 but that series didn’t have the distinct 7A/B kinda deal Series 7 has, so it feels like worlds away since we last saw her. Would’ve LOVED to see Clara and her meet up in a story prior to this, or at the very least have her learn about River on screen, as it would’ve made her return feel a bit more earned.
Finally, we have the big mystery box to talk about, and y’know what Moffat fair play this one actually works. It’s revealed that the reason Clara is split all across the Doctor’s timeline is because she walked into it after the Great Intelligence did so, attempting to undo each one of the Doctor’s victories and friendships. What a wonderfully evil plan, and the self-sacrifice play from Clara is both completely in-character and makes sense logically. I’m a little disappointed that we don’t get any explanation in this story as to how the Doc & Clara escape the timeline, but it’s functional and doesn’t leave me confused, and that’s SAYING something for an 11th Doctor finale.
TL:DR/Overview: The Name of the Doctor is a well-written series finale, to a series of Doctor Who I didn’t particularly enjoy. It does a good job at making sense of the mysteries set during this series, and also has a strong creative edge to it. However, the lack of care that was taken to properly set up this finale lets it down. The Great Intelligence and River Song, two of the most important pieces of the puzzle here, were not even mentioned past the midpoint of the series, and that puts me in a tough spot when it comes to ranking this story. In isolation, it’s a high A tier story that satisfyingly resolves the series arc, but when you look at what came before, you can see that key parts of this finale just weren’t set up well. For this reason I’m gonna have to do what I did for Angels Take Manhattan, and keep it at a high and respectable B tier.
P.S: This story should’ve been called Tomb of the Doctor. This line is IN the episode and fits the episode SOOO much better than Name of the Doctor >:(. Woulda put this in the review but idk where it would’ve fit sdgfklj.
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jvngkook97 · 3 years ago
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Haii! Can you make a fluffy fanfic where Jungkook and the OC are both idols, and OC walks in BTS’s practice room but she catches him simping over fan edits of her? Vise versa is fine as well. It’s perfectly fine if you can’t lol it’s a pretty cheesy request 😭 Tysm (p.s I love your writings)
Work of Art
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pairing; idol!jeon jungkook x idol!reader, female!reader
genre; hint of angst, mainly fluff, established relationship, age gap au - koo is 24 and reader is 29, BTS hasn’t been in the game for too long, but long enough
warnings; cursing, implied smut, koo is in love with reader to the point of being a simp but reader actually reciprocates his feelings, so not really a simp?? just straight whipped tbh tho I hate that word so he’s just really really head over heels for reader ok. also reader has CURVES so we getting a handsy koo ofc
rating; 18+
w/c; 2,400
a/n; so sorry for the wait anon, but ty for the request. it was fun to write! made a little twist to it, hope you don’t mind and still enjoy! feedback and love is always appreciated <3
It all started with a simple request from you.
You asked if he could draw you a tattoo he believed would fit your vibe, beliefs, interests, personality, etc. Knowing how amazing he was at his side hobby of drawing, his main job being one of seven of the record breaking Kpop group, BTS.
So, it should’ve been fairly simple, right?
Wrong.
When it came to you, it needed to be nothing but perfection. Anything below that just shouldn’t exist in this world. To put it simply, he was truly, madly, deeply, in love with you.
Y/N Y/L/N. A name known throughout the world long before BTS came into the scene, with you being five years his senior. Someone he looked up to during his debut days and even when he was just a trainee.
You captured his heart and he never wanted it back. He wasn’t ashamed to say, he was whipped for you.
So imagine to his surprise when you requested a meeting with them shortly after they first debuted, wanting to work on a collab with them. You wanted to work with them. Jimin had to catch him from falling on his ass with how overwhelmed he was with the news. The others just rolling their eyes and laughing, very used to the obsession the youngest had over you. However, they never believed that you would actually come to love the golden maknae yourself.
Of course, it wasn’t love at first sight. At least, not for you.
You leaned over the bathroom sink, applying the last layer of your favorite lipstick with a smack of your lips, rubbing them together. Closing the cap on the tube, you shoved it back into your white Coach clutch. Hands smoothing down your outfit of choice that matched your clutch in color, not wanting to see a wrinkle anywhere. You fluffed your naturally long, wavy, hair with your fingers, and fixed your bangs.
Then you closed your eyes, and breathed.
“You got this, y/n. You’ve done this countless times with many other big names in the industry. You are a fucking force of nature. And anyone would be lucky to work with you.”
Opening your eyes after your ritualistic self pep talk you do before every meeting, you rolled your shoulders back, staring at yourself in the mirror, and poised with confidence.
“Let’s do this shit.”
Jungkook wishes that he shared the same amount of grace and confidence that you did in that fateful meeting, but then he would be lying.
It was his fifth time standing back up from sitting down around the ridiculously elongated, black and freshly cleaned, shiny table in the middle of the conference room they would be meeting you at.
He wiped his hands on the back of his pants trying to get rid of the sweat that didn’t seem to go away, and opted for just walking laps around the table since he obviously wasn’t going to be able to sit still anytime soon.
Namjoon rubbed his forehead and let out an exhausted sigh, feeling himself somehow get even more tired just from watching the youngest do laps around him. The boys all just flew back into the states from having been on tour for six months. He wanted nothing more than to be relaxing with a nice book in bed, or admiring an abstract work of art in some random museum.
But no, due to the meeting you requested a week ago, they now all gathered at, he checked his watch yet again, 7:30 in the morning to both meet you for the first time and start the process of collaborating on a song. Don’t get him wrong, he was overjoyed with the new project, he just wished he had more time to relax before said project came around. But alas, that’s the job of being an idol.
The rest of the members tried their best to ignore Jungkook and continue on with their own shared conversations around the table. It wasn’t until Jungkook went around the table for what seemed to be the 20th time that morning did Namjoon finally speak up and say something.
“JK.” He stated simply, making the youngest stop in his tracks.
“Yes?” He looked at his leader with wide doe eyes, still feeling the caffeine from the three cups of coffee he downed earlier, jitters kicking in full force. He hoped it would make him more alert, but not this much. He could literally feel his blood vibrating within his body. Shit.
“You need to relax. Everything will be fine. You’re going to run a hole into the floor with how many times you’ve done laps around this table.” He chuckled humorously, “You should drink some water.” He suggested, trying to find a way to ease his nerves before the meeting started.
He grunted, poking his tongue out to mindlessly play with his lip piercing, before throwing his hands up in frustration and plopping down in the chair in between Taehyung and Jimin for, hopefully, the last time that morning. Resting his elbows on the table, and putting his head in his hands, palms rubbing his eyes mercilessly. The make up crew would be devastated upon witnessing the action, he’s sure. For a second, the only sound that could be heard within the room was the loud ‘thunk’ of Jungkook’s forehead hitting the top of the table in defeat, eyes closed, and tattooed arms splayed out on the sides of his head. He’s finally giving up. Now, to just relax until y/n comes in–
A knock on the door ceased all conversation and movement within the conference room. In sync, regardless of how anyone was feeling that morning, they all stood up and stood in a straight line facing the door that would inevitably be opening at any second. Posture straight and hands clasped in front of them elegantly. Namjoon took to the middle of the line, slightly stepping forward as leader, ready to greet their guest of honor.
The door opened, and there you were in all your beautiful glory.
You strutted into that conference room, demanding your presence be known to every male in the room and Jungkook swore he saw a near blinding glow radiate from your figure. The members all shared side eye glances, and they all swore they saw literal hearts in Jungkook’s eyes. An obvious smitten look encompassing his face without his knowing. Cause if he did know, he would’ve backtracked in sheer embarrassment over the fact.
You came to a stop a few feet in front of the group, the door now shut behind you to give you all some privacy. Namjoon’s formal instincts kicked in, as he led his members in an introduction they’ve done many times now.
“2, 3! Bang!” Namjoon stated in a semi loud voice.
“Tan!” The other six members said in unison without pause behind him.
“Hello, we are BTS.” Everyone, including Namjoon, said. All making the same hand gesture as well as bowing respectfully to you in greeting.
You found it extremely cute and endearing, watching them all behave so politely. You decided to bow back respectfully in response and announced yourself in kind.
“Very lovely to meet you all, my name is y/n y/l/n and I’m very humbled that you all agreed to this meeting. I look forward to working with you.” You spoke in a normal, yet equally as formal manner. You then gestured to the table behind the still standing members with a smile.
“Please, have a seat. I’m sorry if I kept you waiting for so long, traffic can be ugly in the city of angels.”
Los Angeles. One of the world’s most famous cities. The city is internationally known for being the home of the rich and famous, Hollywood, the main home of major entertainment companies, bad traffic, ethnically diverse, and the second-largest city in America.
Or as you like to call it, home.
Each member smiled in response and took they’re respective seats that they already decided on prior to your arrival. Or so they thought. Jungkook unexpectedly stealing Jimin’s chair that was closest to yours besides Namjoon’s who was on the opposite side of the table, where you were now seated at the head of the table.
Hands folded comfortably in front of you on the table, you locked eyes individually with each member. Jungkook’s being the last pair on your list. He knows for a fact that he stopped breathing in fear of accidentally doing or saying something that would make you see him as bad in your eyes. Plastering on his signature bunny toothed smile, you couldn’t help but stare adoringly at the youngest member.
You could tell he was nervous, his leg subtly bouncing underneath the table, not enough to cause a distraction, but for you to notice being at the head. So, you thought you would try and help ease his nerves by placing your hand on top of his folded ones that mirrored your own a second ago, giving them a light squeeze before you let go and directed your statement to the entire table in front of you.
“Shall we begin?”
And the rest, as they say, was history.
Back to present time, Jungkook sat on the white leather couch located next door to their rehearsal practice room, in the group break room. Laptop perched open on his lap, he leaned towards the screen as his eyes widened by the minute.
"Holy shit." he quietly exhaled into the silent room, definitely not wanting to gain the attention of anyone. Not when it could potentially make them curious as to what he was currently looking at, or rather what he was ogling at.
The answer? You. Of course. Or rather, a very different version of you. Created by one of your many fans on the internet. A version that made a not so subtle tent start to form within the confines of his baggy Nike sweats he wore to rehearsals today. Now thankful that he didn't choose the skinny jeans, where it would've been very noticeable to the eye.
Don't get him wrong, he loves you. He loves every single inch of you. From your head down to your perfectly, curvaceous, body that never failed to turn him on just thinking about it. His hands twitched at the idea of being able to worship and caress your bare body that would willingly be splayed out on your shared bed, with your most intimate parts of you exposed for the pleasure of his eyes only.
He let out a low, guttural, groan at the mental image in his head, wanting nothing more than to relieve himself. But, he had a job to do. One that was made by you, so he needed to get his shit together, and fast. You were expecting him back home soon and he still wasn't done with the sketch that was almost finished. He just needed some last minute inspiration to finish what he would call, his first masterpiece.
And this? This was exactly what he didn't know he needed in order to do so. Damn, were there some creative and talented people out there. The way they paid attention to even the littlest details, from the moles scattered across your skin like constellations meant for him to discover. To the way they captured your eyes and face in an expression of a pure blissed out state, as if they were the ones hovering of your body in the dead of night, where rays of moonlight that shone through the see through curtain were the only source of light needed.
He should be pissed that others envisioned you in such a way, yet he couldn't, because it was art.
Because you were a work of art.
And unlike these fans of yours, he was the one that was able to see you in your most vulnerable state. And that alone, made him smile to himself in pure happiness. Cause how the fuck was he so lucky and worthy of your love to begin with? He'll never know, but he'll spend every day with you like it was his last, not wanting to take a single second with you in vain.
You were his diva, his princess, his queen, his muse, his goddess.
But most importantly?
You were his wife, and the mother of his children.
Life was fucking good.
"Damn, I look sexy as fuck." You leaned over his shoulder from your position of standing behind the couch, squinting at the open laptop to verify that what you were seeing was true. It was. "Is this what I look like from your point of view when we have sex?" Tilting your head sideways, you looked at it from a different angle, thoroughly entranced by the lewd fan-made drawing of yourself.
If he thought your ego was bad before, it was skyrocketing through the roof and into the solar system now, he thought with mirth.
Smirking to himself, he realized that if he got caught in the same act when he was younger, he would be freaking the fuck out by now. Having been with you for years now, however, it only fueled the fire that was insatiable within him. He looked at you from the corner of his eyes, and pushed the laptop off his lap, setting it onto the coffee table in front of him. Leaning back against the couch, he gestured for you to sit on his lap.
You sensually walked around the couch towards him, swaying your curvy hips seductively as you bit your bottom lip between your teeth. His eyes locked onto the sway of your hips in a trance, the tent growing in his pants by the minute.
You sat on his lap, legs on either side of his hips. His hands instantly went to grip the junction between your hips and thighs with a vice grip that made you inwardly groan when he ground his bottom half into yours deliciously.
"Yeah, that drawing of you is sexy." he stated the fact aloud.
"But you, baby?" he said with a lust filled gaze, hands now trailing along your various curves with a vengeance.
"You're a fucking masterpiece." he whispered into your slightly open mouth, before kissing you hungrily.
If his body was a paintbrush, he created colors on your skin like you were the canvas.
344 notes · View notes
alrightberries · 4 years ago
Text
“may i?”
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❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader
❈ genre: fluff & angst.  ❈ word count: 8k
❈ summary: you’re the medic assigned to take care of captain levi as he heals from the explosion. you’re also the only person he tolerates.
alternatively: in which you create prosthetics for humanity’s most war torn soldier.
❈ trigger warnings: manga spoliers. profanity. mentions of violence, blood, gore, and death. mentions of sexual themes.
a/n: levi’s kinda ooc bc i couldn’t write the progress of his relationship with reader without making it longer than it already is. also this is medically inaccurate (re: healing time of broken bones and amputations) for the sake of the plot so pls no one throw hands. 
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Levi doesn't like looking at mirrors.
There was no tragic backstory behind his distaste for the reflective surface, no deeper meaning or hidden symbolism as one would expect from a man with his past. The reason behind it was simple: he just saw no reason to.
He wasn't vain, wasn't too concerned about his face, didn't care much to look at his physical appearance aside from when he had to cut his hair or get ready for the day to look presentable to his comrades. He knew he was attractive, and effortlessly so. The little letters and gifts he’d received from fans and admirers proved as much, and his title of “Humanity’s Strongest” only added to the appeal. Really, there was no reason for him to always be looking into a mirror.
But now... Levi simply couldn’t understand why that mindset had vanished. It was replaced with the fervor to always be staring at his own reflection— not out of vanity but out of disgust.
The disgust of staring at his mutilated face.
He warily lifts up the small mirror he held in his hand, features contorting into a grimace at the man staring back at him. Scars and cuts littered his cheeks— some deeper than others, but none as terrible as the long jagged scar that ran down the right side of his face. It started from his forehead and ended at his bottom lip, held together by ugly black stitches the medics had hurriedly sewn on him the second he got back to the base. His right eye was split in half, completely useless, completely blind; held together by the same black stitches that donned the ugliest scar of all.
And Levi couldn’t help but think that this man was hideous.
He was hideous.
Levi reaches out with his right hand to touch his scars out of habit. He feels his heart tighten when he realizes there’s only air where his fingers should be and he nearly breaks the small mirror he held in his good hand from how hard he was squeezing it. 
The mirror makes a gentle clink as he sets it down onto the mahogany of his desk. Bitterly, he stares at his three fingered right hand. His pointer and middle finger were gone, nothing but pathetic stumps protruding from his knuckles where they used to be. It was still covered in bandages and a makeshift brace so he wouldn’t strain himself when he moved, but he knew it was useless. He couldn’t move those stumps even if he tried.
He probably should’ve been thankful to have made it out of that explosion alive— not unscathed, but alive nonetheless. Though Hange had tried cheering him up (“Look on the bright side, we can wear matching eyepatches now!”) he simply couldn’t find it in himself to celebrate coming back so... useless. 
His writing was as legible as chicken scratches. His right eye spasmed in pain every time he blinked. He couldn’t even try to relearn how to use the ODM gear with his new circumstance, and he mentally curses out his orders to stay put and heal.
Too many things were lost, too many people, too many lives.
All because of that damned explosion.
All because of that damned bearded bastard.
Levi is pulled from his thoughts when three soft knocks reverberate throughout his otherwise quiet office, and he rushes to put his eyepatch on and hide the mirror in his desk drawer. He attempts to sit in what he hopes was a seemingly ‘professional’ position but his stiffness gives away his discomfort. 
“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”
He feels himself release a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once he hears the voice. Your voice. 
“Come in.”
The wooden door creaks open before it closes with a soft click, floorboards making minuscule sounds at the weight as you make your way to his desk. Levi pretends to look busy as his good eye scans the document he held in his hand. 
The sound of porcelain clinking against porcelain grabs his attention.
“Brought you tea.” You murmured. “I figured it won’t be up to your standards again but I did try my best.”
Levi still doesn’t look up as you set the tray down on his desk, and his good hand reaches for the steaming cup to take a small sip. His eye twitches at the taste.
“If you were going to bring me shit tea anyway then why bother.”
He hears a gentle chuckle but doesn’t see the way you smile at his contradictory words and actions. He made no move to throw the “shit tea” away, something he was infamous for with teas that didn’t meet his standards. Instead, he keeps sipping, gently placing the cup down onto his table once he finished.
“I thought that maybe distracting you with terrible tea would keep your mind off me changing your bandages.” You explained, and Levi nods but doesn’t speak. When silence once again filled the room, interrupted only by the occasional crumple of documents you knew he wasn’t reading, you take it as your cue to pick up your pen and clipboard to start the checkup.
“Have you felt any discomfort or pain in any of your extremities such as your right eye or your right hand?”
“No.”
“Have you felt any throbbing or other sensations in any part of your body?”
“No.”
“Have you experienced any fevers, headaches, dizziness, or sudden spasms in any part of your body?”
“No.”
He hears you set your clipboard down and his skin tingles from your doubtful stare. He didn’t have to look to know it was there. He risks a glimpse at the papers attached to the wooden board in your hands but just as he expected, you didn’t write down any of his answers.
“Have you lied to any or all of the questions I’ve asked during your routine checkup for today?”
“...yes.”
A soft sigh escape through your nose and your eyebrows furrow in disappointment. “Captain, lying to your medic won’t get you to the battlefield faster. You’re of no use to anyone when you’re injured.”
Levi clicks his tongue at your reply but he holds his smart ass comments back. He knew you were right, and it infuriated him so much.
“Fine,” he grits out. “My right eye’s been twitching all day. The fucking stumps on my right hand don’t feel like stumps. It feels like I still have fingers there, and I know it’s complete bullshit since they were lying next to my face when they got blown off.”
His angry glance finally lands on you. “That the answer you were looking for, oh medic of mine?”
It was now your turn to click your tongue. “Not quite,” you mumble, writing down his answers onto the file in your hands. “Feeling your missing limbs even after they’re amputated is normal. It’s called phantom touch.”
You place the clipboard back onto his desk and reach into your pockets, pulling out pristine white gloves before gingerly putting them on.
“Your right eye still spasming though, that’s concerning.” You add. Your hands slowly reach out to his face, and Levi momentarily flinches away out of habit. But you made no move to touch him.
He eyes you warily, tense muscles relaxing even just the slightest as he sees your gentle stare.
“May I?” You ask softly, a caring smile on your face.
Levi only nods, not trusting his words, and he once again tenses up as he feels your hands unbuckle the leather straps of his eyepatch before setting it down onto his table. He keeps his bad eye shut.
Your hands are gentle as you touch his face, touch nothing but a soft caress in such a way that his tender stitches felt no pain. Your eyes are focused on his stitches, lacking any judgement or ill will, and Levi’s suddenly aware of how close you actually were to his face.
Your eyes were beautiful, he noticed. They always were. The little furrow in your eyebrows as you concentrated was cute, and the soft caress of your hands on his cheeks as you inspected his face felt... nice, and dare he even say relaxing. Momentarily, when he finally lets himself adjust to the atmosphere, he lets his tense muscles ease.
“Can you open your right eye, Levi?”
“Y-yeah.”
FUCK.
What the fuck.
Did he just fucking stutter?
Levi’s surprise is only painted on his face for a few mere seconds before he schools his expression back to one of stoicness and neutrality, and he prays to all the existing gods he knew of that you wouldn’t notice.
He risks another glance at you. One of your eyebrows is arched and the corner of your lip is quirked up in a small smirk, but you dared not comment on the captain’s speech mishap.
Fuck. So you did notice.
Before he could try to save face by dishing out some bullshit reprimand of being disrespectful for calling him by his name and not his title, the words die on his tongue as you lean in impossibly close and oh god your noses were almost touching, your eyes are even more beautiful up close, and what the fuck is—
“Captain,” you repeat. “Can you open your right eye please?”
Oh, right.
He doesn’t speak as he does what he was told. He feels his eye open but no vision comes to his senses. 
“It’s looking... not so good.” He hears you mumble, face contorted into one of concern. “It’s actually looking pretty bad.”
Levi scoffs. “Not one to beat around the bush, are you.”
You roll your eyes, the small smile once again returning to your lips.
“How long have you been keeping the eyepatch on?” You ask. Your hands are holding his head in place now, grasp a little more firm but not enough to hurt.
“An hour at most.”
“Are you lying again?”
He sighs. “Yes.”
You nod but made no further comment, leaning back to grab the clipboard once more to write down your observations. 
“So,” you start. “Are you going to tell me the truth or do I have to poke your bad eye?”
Levi’s lips turn into a frown at the notion. “I’ve kept it on the entire day. And I know you’re probably lying about poking my eye, but in case you’re not, no. I do not want you poking my eye.”
You nod your head again, writing more things down onto your little clipboard.
“You should let it breathe. Keep it on for an hour or two at most but take it off when you sleep. Too much friction with the eyepatch might cause irritation.”
As the consultation draws on, Levi tries (keyword: tries) to be as honest as he could. Not that he could be dishonest when you were so good at snooping out his lies, though. You were already used to his stubbornness.
He wasn’t lying, however, when he tells himself that his heartbeat did not speed up when your hands gently held his own as you changed his bandages and cleaned his amputation; he wasn’t lying when he tells himself that the tips of his ears were not burning a bright red, cheeks flushed as you asked him to take off his shirt; and he definitely wasn’t lying when he tells himself that his dick did not twitch in his pants when your hands caressed his abdomen and back, accidentally hitting sweet spots he didn’t even know existed, to inspect his still purple bruises and healing ribs.
Yeah, he definitely was not lying.
“Okay, I think we’re done for today.” You say cheerfully. “I’ll be back same time tomorrow for another checkup.”
He glances up as he finishes buttoning the last buttons on his shirt. The gloves from your hands are taken off and tucked back into your pockets, and you hand him a small vial full of pills.
“Take one of these, twice a day at most, whenever you feel pain in your right eye.”
“I’m not feeling any—“
“Sure you’re not.” You cut him off with a smile. “I believe you. But feel free to contact me for any pain or discomfort you feel at any time of the day. I’ll be more than glad to find you.”
Levi says nothing, opting to instead stare at you as you gather the now empty teacup and kettle, placing them back onto the tray along with your clipboard and pen.
“Oh, by the way.” You speak, walking towards the door and opening it. You don’t spare him another glance as you finish your sentence. “I don’t think I can prescribe any pills to lessen blood flow to your dick.”
The door shuts with a soft click behind you, and Levi’s momentarily mortified as he processes your words. He risks yet another glance, this time down to his lap.
Shit, he thinks before he sighs. His hands readjust the hard-on in his pants.
Nothing goes past your observant eyes.
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“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”
“Come in.”
Levi doesn’t bother to look busy like he did last week, you noticed, because this time he was actually busy. Which was odd considering he was taken off paperwork duty until he could write again.
“What’re you up to?” You ask, setting the tray down onto his desk and pouring him a cup of tea. Your eyes curiously glance at the papers scattered about his usually clean desk, each filled with indiscernible writings of his name.
“Trying to write. I’m useless until I can.” He mumbles before he scoffs. “This would be easier if I had all my fingers.”
You nod along to his replies yet made no move to stop him. You picked up your pen and clipboard to write things down as well.
“You’re not supposed to be using your right hand, your amputation is still too tender.”
“Tch, what do you expect me to do then?”
“Uh... use your non-injured, complete left hand?”
Levi blinks at your words, and he has half a mind to slap his forehead for being dumb and not thinking of that. Which he undoubtedly would’ve done had you not pushed the steaming cup of tea closer to his sitting form.
“Have some tea. You look like you’re about to pop a vein.”
Your smart remark is met with silence and a steely glare, and surprisingly, as Levi drank the tea you prepared, he notices it’s not downright terrible.
“Your brew’s better.” 
“Yeah. I finally took your advice of using a thermometer to get ‘the perfect temperature’ after you complained about my ‘shitty tea’ for the nth time that week.”
Levi hides his little smirk behind the teacup, silently reveling in his small triumph before setting it down. From the corner of his eye, he notices you eyeing something, and his heart drops as his gaze follows your own.
The mirror. He forgot to hide the mirror.
Discreetly (or as discreet as he could) he takes the mirror and shoves it back into his desk drawer. You had many questions, that much he knew, but he was thankful when you didn’t push it further.
“Shall we begin?” You ask instead.
“Yeah.”
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“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”
“Come in.”
Levi’s been trying to write again, you surmised, as you glanced at his focused eyes and the tenseness of his shoulders. Scattered papers still littered his desk and he was still trying to write his name. This time though, you were relieved when you saw he was using his left hand.
“Finally took my advice?” You asked, pouring him a cup of tea.
“Regretting it.” He doesn’t look up from his task as he answers, something you noticed he always did. “It’s been three days since I took your advice and my handwriting’s shittier than it was then.”
You smile, hand reaching out to hold his incomplete one that was clenched into a fist on the desk. He immediately stops writing, opting to instead stare at your hand atop his before glancing up at you.
“What are you doing?”
“Making you relax. You might tear your stitches.”
He feels you give his hand a gentle squeeze, and the warmth of your hand is suddenly gone from his own. You reach for the cup of tea you prepared, and he wills his cheeks to not show his blush at the small gesture. You slide the teacup across the table.
“What makes you think holding my hand will make me relax?” He asks snarkily. He reaches for the tea with his good hand.
“Are you relaxed?”
Levi ponders the question in his mind, noticing how his muscles were no longer tense, his shoulders were now slumped down, and his eyebrows were no longer scrunched. He sips the tea.
“Your brew’s still shit.” He replies instead.
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“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I came here for your daily checkup.”
“Come in.”
Your head peaks out from behind his door as you enter, closing it with your foot and making your way to his desk. You were no longer surprised when you saw him still writing and scribbling messily at his desk as he’s done for days now, and you discreetly eye the papers as you pour him his tea.
“You don’t have to keep bringing me tea.” He comments, still focused on writing.
“I know.” You reply. “But how am I going to perfect your brew if I don’t practice?”
Levi glances up, and he raises his eyebrow as he sees you sat on his table, a cheeky grin on your face. He makes no move to scold you for being so casual in his office and instead reaches out to take a sip of the tea. He notices your expectant eyes, the grin on your face widening as he nods in approval.
“Your tea’s not bad today.”
“Really?! You think it’s good?”
“I said not bad, I didn’t say it was good.”
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“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”
“Come in.”
The first thing you noticed as you entered Levi’s office was, of course, the scattered paper around his desk, face focused as he continued to practice his writing. The second thing you noticed was that he was no longer using his left hand.
“It’s barely been two weeks. Did you give up already?” You ask as you pour his tea.
“I write better with my right hand.” He simply replies, not even glancing up as you slide him the beverage. He uses his good hand to reach out for the cup, silently preparing his tongue for another unpleasant attack.
He takes a sip and his eyebrows shoot up from surprise. The tea was... delicious, absolutely delicious, and Levi couldn’t find anything to complain about. The temperature was right, it wasn’t too bitter but wasn’t too sweet, and the aroma was delectable. He takes a sip once more to double check if his taste buds were deceiving him, but the second sip was just as good as the last.
His suspicious eye makes contact with yours, a shit eating grin painted on your face as you eagerly awaited his feedback. The porcelain makes a sound as he sets it down.
“You bought this from the tea shop across the barracks. That’s cheating.”
“For fuck’s sake!”
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Three soft knocks reverberate through the door to Levi’s office. The captain hastily hides the papers with your name scribbled on, shoving them inside his desk drawer. A shiny glint catches his eye before he could close the shelf and he pauses as he realizes it was his mirror. He hadn’t taken it out in a while. He was always too distracted with criticizing your piss poor tea to even think about his appearance.
“Name and business.” He calls out, still eyeing the shiny object.
“Hange Zoe. Y/N asked me to do your daily checkup.”
Levi's eyes widened, heartbeat stopping for a second as he heard Hange’s voice. Where were you?
“Come in.” He closes the drawer as the door opens and Hange walks in. 
Levi couldn’t help but notice that he was becoming uncomfortable the closer his friend got; skin prickling, hands sweating, his collar feeling a little too tight. Little by little getting more conscious of himself as Hange walked closer.
Was this what insecurity felt like?
He briefly wonders why he didn’t feel it with you, but his mind answers him with a simple fact: you were the only person who’s seen him mangled and bruised, and each time, you showed nothing but gentleness and care. Yet even with this knowledge, the notion that a person other than you would be doing his checkup today didn’t sit right with him.
He pushes his discomfort to the back of his mind, telling himself to remain objective. But it didn’t stop him from subconsciously adjusting his eyepatch and hiding his incomplete hand underneath the desk. He eyes the tray in Hange’s hands, spotting the kettle and teacup.
“I don’t want your shitty tea.”
Hange doesn’t look up as they pour him a cup, humming a tune Levi doesn’t recognize as they hand him the warm beverage.
“It’s not my shitty tea.” They reply. “It’s Y/N’s shitty tea. They made you a batch before they left for the mission.”
Levi’s good hand pauses for a brief second as he reaches for the cup, mind still processing the fact that Hange said Y/N and mission. You hadn’t mentioned anything to him, and since he wasn’t allowed paperwork duty until he could write legibly, he wasn’t aware of any missions.
“I see.” He takes a sip, and he immediately squints his eyes in doubt once his tongue caught taste of the flavor. “This isn’t Y/N’s tea.”
Hange looks up from the clipboard they were writing on, eyebrows are arched in curiosity. “What?”
“This isn’t Y/N’s tea. This is from the tea shop down the road.”
Hange’s confused face stays still for a few seconds, silently assessing whether Levi was being serious or not. A smile cracks on their face, turning into a grin as small chuckles left their lips, before finally turning into full blown laughter. The captain waits for the eccentric soldier to stop cackling and start explaining, but Hange’s answer only serves to confuse him more.
“Nice try, shorty. You crack me up.”
Levi ignores the remark about his height. “What do you mean?”
“Y/N owns the tea shop down the road. Made the recipe for the black tea you love so much, even.”
The captain’s good eye twitches, and if Hange notices, they don't comment. Levi takes a sip of the tea once more, a little more doubtful this time, before sighing in content as the drink makes its way down his throat.
“Why did Y/N go on the mission? I thought they were to be my caretaker until further notice.” He chooses to ask, placing the cup down and pretending to busy himself as he absentmindedly starts practicing his writing.
“Y/N is our topic medic, their skills are more valuable on the battlefield than in an office with you.” They reply, and the captain pretends that the truthfulness of the statement doesn’t sting the slightest.
“Besides,” Hange pulls out white gloves from their pockets, sliding the cloth over their hands to prepare for the checkup. “Y/N personally asked to be reassigned.”
Levi sputters and chokes on his tea at the sudden revelation, and he feels Hange’s hand patting his back as he tries to compose himself. You asked to be reassigned? But why?
“Why?” He manages to choke out before once more descending into a coughing fit. Hange silently hands him a napkin.
“They didn’t say.”
Perhaps you were done with his incessant criticizing of your tea making skills (if so, then why’d you keep brewing him a crappy batch? Clearly you could’ve made good tea whenever you wanted.) Perhaps you grew tired of watching over him everyday when you could’ve been attending to more injured soldiers in the medical wing or the battlefield. Or perhaps you felt a little cooped up in the office with him, hating that you were confined when you could’ve gone on missions to help the wounded.
Whatever your reason may be, Levi finally gets himself to stop coughing and wipes his mouth. Any questions he had, he would ask you. For now, he pushes his feelings to the back of his mind to ask a more important question.
“Why are you here and not on the expedition, Commander?”
Hange shrugs.
“I wanted to bond over eyepatches with you.”
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Levi was trying, okay? He was really trying.
But god, the new caretaker assigned to him was nothing short of a complete and utter noob. His bandages were always either too loose or too tight, his touches every time he tried to inspect Levi’s scars were always an ironclad grip, and worst of all, his tea was pure and utter shit.
“Watch it!” Levi barks, and his caretaker jumps about two feet away from him at his yell. “What’re you trying to do?! Are you inspecting my broken ribs or trying to give me a broken rib?”
Oh, that too. His caretaker was the hands on type, something Levi wouldn’t have minded if not for the fact that his caretaker was also heavy-handed, and Levi had had enough of this bullshit.
“Stop it, just stop. Get out of my office, right now, and find me a new caretaker.”
“B-but, Captain, there’s no one else who can—“
His caretaker is cut off when he makes eye contact with the enraged captain. Levi’s eyebrows were knitted together in anger, and the glare on his left eye was nothing short of terrifying. The fact that he only had one good eye left did nothing to lessen the intimidation of his glare; if anything, it made it even more intimidating.
“I will not repeat my order. Go.”
The boy in front of him nods nervously, head bowed down and metaphorical tail tucked between his legs as he quickly scurries out of the room. Once Levi hears the soft click of the door shutting, he takes a deep breath and lets his body slump into his chair.
That was the fifth caretaker he’d kicked out this month. He wasn’t picky, he tells himself; he just had standards. Standards that apparently these damned amateurs they kept sending him couldn’t meet.
Briefly, his conscience contradicts him; the image of a certain top medic popping in his mind, one that he hadn’t spoken to in almost a month since they dropped him out of the blue. Maybe, just maybe, he was being picky. With a dash of passive aggressive and a sprinkle of butthurt. But Levi quickly brushes that thought aside when he remembers the incompetence of all his recent caretakers.
That was definitely it. He wasn’t petty, all his caretakers were simply idiots.
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The captain hears three loud knocks on his wooden door, and he grits his teeth as he mentally prepares himself for whatever fuckery the clown caretaker they assigned to him was about to do this time. True to his words, Levi did end up breaking a rib from how heavy handed the last one was, and though he knew it was partially because his body was still quite fragile, it didn’t hurt his request for a new medic.
“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here to do your daily checkup.”
Levi feels his eyes widen and heart speed up, and he once again rushes to hide all the papers scribbled with your name as he shoves them into his desk drawer. He composes himself, trying to appear uninterested and professional as he speaks.
“Come in.”
The door squeaks open and Levi doesn’t bother to hide the way his eyes soften and his shoulders slump in relief as he sees the familiar sight of you. A soft smile dawned on your face as you gently kicked the door close, walking towards his desk and setting down the tray you held in your hands.
“Heard you fired everybody who came after me.” You mused, eyes teasing as you poured him a cup of tea. He didn’t think he’d miss someone pouring him a cup of tea as much as he did now.
“Their tea was shit.” He replies, taking a sip of the warm beverage and holding back his sputter at the god awful taste. “Yours is too.”
You chuckle, picking up the clipboard and pen to start writing for today’s checkup. “Can’t help that I suck at brewing tea.”
“You don’t have to keep making me shit tea anymore. The secret’s out.”
You freeze in your spot, eyes widening for a fraction of a second before you nervously clear your throat. Levi definitely noticed.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I know you own the tea shop, Y/N. Stop lying.”
You let out an irritated sigh. “Hange told you, didn’t they?”
“Yep.” He replies, popping the ‘p’.
I’m going to fucking kill Hange, you think to yourself, silently gathering your composure once more. Levi watches you intently, continuing to sip on the terrible tea before deciding that he’d assaulted his taste buds enough and placing it down.
“Why’d you do it?” You hear him ask. “And don’t lie to me. You’re not the only one who’s gotten better at spotting lies.”
Why’d you brew shitty him tea? Is he that affected by it?
Your reply was already on the tip of your tongue, head glancing up from your clipboard to say your answer. But your words don’t come out and your mind suddenly cleared when you saw the look in his eye.
Levi’s eyes were nothing short of gorgeous; a beautiful gunmetal gray with a gaze deadly enough to kill a man with one mere look. But right now, even though they were schooled into his usual look of disinterest, you could see him... wavering. A mix of unanswered questions, curiosity, and— for the briefest second you swore you saw— hurt.
“I take it you’re not asking me why I brewed you crappy tea for the past three months?”
Levi clicks his tongue in irritation. “No, you idiot. I’m asking you why you left out of the blue. If you had a problem you could’ve brought it up with me—“
“No!” You quickly interrupt. “No, god no, you’re perfect.”
The captain’s eyes widen, and you suddenly realize the words you’d spoken as you quickly try to explain before Levi could interject.
“There was no problem, okay? I didn’t request to be reassigned because I had a problem. It’s quite the opposite, actually.” You murmur.
He eyes you curiously.
“What do you mean?”
“I think I have a solution. May I?” You gesture, asking if you could sit on his desk. Levi nods, not understanding why you needed permission now when you’ve done it of your own volition countless times before, but he suddenly understands when you sit directly in front him and not across from him like you usually would.
He watches as you pull a small brown box from your jacket, placing it down onto his desk before opening it. Levi is quiet as he eyes the item inside.
“It’s just a prototype for now. I was hoping to carve out a better one in my free time, one that would be a custom fit, but my free time kinda went flying out the window when you started firing people left and right until no one would accept you but me.”
You pick up the wooden prosthetic fingers and gently place them onto his desk. Your hand opens palm up, waiting for Levi to be comfortable enough to lend his hand to you, and he does so silently.
“The prosthetic’s made from redwood and the joints are connected by small metal rods. It’s light and durable, and I weatherproofed it so it wouldn’t break down so easily when you use them.” You explain, unwrapping the bandages around his hand. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out the concept, actually. I just took a pair of standard issue Survey Corps gloves and cut out all the fingers. Then, y’know, attached the wooden fingers to where the pointer and middle should be.”
Levi could only nod. You weren’t sure if his silence was good or bad and you couldn’t read his look. But Levi— Levi was speechless. In his mind, he dared not speak in fear of looking like a fool. Especially not in front of the person who gave back a piece of himself (quite literally, at that.)
He tenderly looks at the way you fitted the prosthetics onto his own hand, fastening brown leather straps around his wrists to secure the glove. The minute the glove is on and he sees all five fingers for the first time since the explosion, he feels like he’s about to cry.
“I had Hange help me with the anatomy so you could still bend them as you would normal fingers. I couldn’t figure out how to make them move on their own though, so you’d have to manually do that yourself.”
To demonstrate, you bend one of the prosthetics, the wood imitating the bend of his finger but not springing back up despite his brain commanding it to do so. You watch intently as he fumbles around with his hand, moving the fingers about. The wonder and astonishment in his usually unimpressed eye didn’t go unnoticed by you, and it spurred  you to continue on.
“Unfortunately, it’s not strong enough to flick the switches on ODM gear. You still have to relearn how to hold your blades when you’re cleared for training again.” You say regrettably. “But it’s strong enough to hold a pen.”
Your hand reaches for the forgotten quill across his desk, dipping it in the inkwell before offering it to him with a small smile. Levi slowly takes it, still speechless, as he readjusts his prosthetic to hold the quill and write.
His writing is still shit, undoubtedly; still no better than chicken scratches as he messily writes down the words. But god, the sight of the indiscernible handwriting next to five fingers brought tears to his eyes as he finally finished writing his name. The slightly legible letters of ‘Levi Ackerman’ stared back at him.
Levi couldn’t hold it back anymore. He immediately set the quill down before standing up to engross you in a warm embrace. You tense in his arms, not used to Levi willingly initiating any form of physical touch at all. But as he tucks his head into the curve of your neck and his shoulders start shaking, splotches of wet dripping onto your collarbones, you feel your arms encircle his waist, bringing him closer as you whisper sweet nothings into his ear and let him cry in peace.
Your hands ran through his scalp, willing him to calm down. Though normally the sight of a crying Captain Levi was something you never thought you’d see, you couldn’t help but feel honored he chose to share this rare moment of vulnerability with you.
You let him cry, still holding onto him, giving him his time. Briefly, you wonder what he was thinking. What pushed him to tears? Did the captain ever let himself mourn his losses? Does he mourn his friends, his family, the little pieces of himself that he’d lost along the way?
Though you had a million questions in your mind you dared not pry as you continued to comfort the weeping man in front of you.
Finally, after a few moments of nothing but silent sniffles and your sweet words, Levi finds it in himself to finally speak.
“Thank you, Y/N.”
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Night had fallen around the base, encasing the world in darkness that beckons slumber. Levi continued to stay awake, still in his office, staring at the prosthetic you had given him hours before.
Curiously, he feels himself form his right hand into a fist, not surprised that the two wooden fingers didn’t comply like the rest. It was imperfect and he himself thought it could use some tiny adjustments for the sake of comfort— something he definitely would bring up to you as requested.
And yet, despite knowing his ‘fingers’ were nothing but wood, leather and metal, he couldn’t help but think it was the best thing he could ever ask for. 
Silently, under the lone glowing light of his oil lamp, Levi pulls out a blank sheet of paper and begins to turn his feelings into thoughts, thoughts into words, and words into sentences as his quill meets the white surface.
Hours later, he finds himself in front of your quarters, a candle in his left hand while his right held a pristine white envelope. The envelope containing unsaid words, unspoken wishes, and hidden feelings.
Your eyes are sleepy when you answer the door, half lidded and hair a mess when his knocks had woken you from your slumber. You rub your eye, adjusting to the light as you stare at the person in front of you.
“Captain?” You ask, stifling a yawn. “What’re you doing here so late?”
He doesn’t answer your question. Instead, he opts to look at you with an unreadable expression as he asks, “Can I come in?”
You stare at him for a few seconds more, and the thought of you slamming the door on his face crossed Levi’s mind; but that didn’t happen. Rather, you nodded and ushered him inside your bedroom, closing the door behind him as you once again flopped onto your bed. 
He places the candle down on your bedside table and now he was unsure what to do. He had a plan— or, he thought he had a plan— but awkwardly standing in your room in the middle of the night wasn’t part of it.
Quietly, you chuckle at the sight of Humanity’s Strongest looking so odd and out of place, unsure and slightly panicked. You pat the spot next to you, inviting him to sit, and he complies.
Both of you had your knees pulled up to your chests and you were thankful when you noticed Levi had taken his shoes off before sitting on the bed. A comfortable silence encompasses the atmosphere in the dimly lit room. Shoulders touching, heads not daring to turn because of the close proximity. 
From the corner of your eye, Levi looked like he was deep in thought. Not the kind you saw plenty of times in the battlefield or in strategy meetings, not the kind you saw when you entered his office as he hastily tried to hide his mirror. But the kind you saw when he quietly suffered through his own living hell. 
“Couldn’t sleep?” you ask, finally breaking the silence. He shakes his head. 
“Well, what brings the mighty Captain Levi to my humble little room?”
“Levi.” 
“What?”
“Call me Levi.” He murmurs, downcast staring intently at the envelope on his lap. “In this room, I’m not your captain. I’m not your patient. I’m not Humanity’s Strongest.”
You feel your eyebrows scrunch as surprise and curiosity paint your face, but not because of the captain’s offer to call him so casually. No— the surprise you showed was because he unclasped the prosthetic you made, not even sparing it a second glance as he carelessly threw it to you, and you barely managed to catch the limbs you’d spent countless hours and sleepless nights to create.
“Levi, what are you—“
“But I’m not a broken teacup for you to fix either.” He says, eyeing the stumps on right hand. “I’m not a doll who’s missing some parts. I’m not a charity case accepting donations.”
You were looking at him now, head turned in his direction as he unclasps his eyepatch and lets it fall onto his lap. He raises his head, eyes making contact with yours.
“I’m just Levi.”
A few moments of silence pass but neither of you look away. The reason why the captain continued to stare wasn’t something you knew. But the reason why you never looked away was because of his eyes. 
Levi’s eyes were still as gorgeous as you remembered them to be. Though his right eye was a different shade from his left, a lighter and paler shade of gray; though it lacked the light and emotions his unharmed eye bore; though it had a jagged scar running through it from where he was hit, you couldn’t help but think that his eyes were still the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen.
Gingerly, you lift up your hand to touch the right side of his face where his battle wounds lie, the prosthetic forgotten as it falls somewhere in the sheets. He doesn’t flinch like he did the first few times you did it, when you reached for his face during checkups to inspect his scars. But it didn’t stop you from asking.
“May I?” 
Levi doesn’t answer. Instead, he brings your hand to rest on his cheek as his head leaned closer to your touch. His eyes closed momentarily, almost as if he were reveling in your warmth. But they opened once more, and you willed yourself not to get lost in the sea of gray.
“You were never a charity case to me, Levi. Or any of the things you just said.”
“Then what am I to you?”
Your heart stops, eyes widening ever so slightly at his question. Would you tell him? No, you couldn’t. Not when—
“Don’t lie to me, Y/N.” His grip on your hand tightens a bit, not enough to hurt but enough to distract you from your thoughts. You realize the hand that held your own against his cheeks was his broken hand, his mutilated hand.
...would you really tell him?
You sigh, eyes finally leaving his. “You’re just another soldier who got hurt from a battle, asking a medic to take the pain away.”
Your hand slips out of his grip and goes back to your side, and you turn away from him once more. 
“Are you lying?” He asks.
“No.”
“Then look into my eyes and tell me what I am to you.”
“I can’t.”
Your voice cracks ever so slightly, hesitant but determined to stick to your words. And Levi knew that he was never going to get an answer. He sighs, shoulders slumping down in defeat. It was now his turn to look away from you, gaze falling to his lap. The envelope holding the letter crinkles and he’s reminded why he’s here.
“I know.” He whispers back. “But do me a favor.”
He doesn’t look your way as he hands you the letter. He doesn’t look your way when you silently took it, eyeing the red wax seal that bore his initials, fingers tracing over the edges before—
“Don’t open it yet. Open it tomorrow morning before you come in for my checkup.”
You only nodded in response. You reached out, placing the envelope on your bedside table before once again sitting next to Levi. Just as you had started, a comfortable silence blankets the atmosphere. Shoulders touching, heads not daring to turn because of the proximity.
But this time, it was he who breaks the silence.
“I don’t know what the future holds.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t know what the future holds.” He repeats. “I could die in action tomorrow and be one of the bodies they wheel back from war, or you could die trying to save someone in the battlefield. Even if neither of us die tomorrow, there’s always a possibility that we’ll die the day after that. And the day after that and the day after that. Such are the risks of our jobs.”
He takes a deep breath. “But tonight, I don’t want to focus on tomorrow. I don’t want to focus on what the future holds. I don’t want to focus on titans or enemy troops or looking after my team.”
“Then what do you want?” 
“You.” 
Your eyes soften. “But what am I to you?”
You didn’t know what to expect, what his answer may be. But you know you didn’t expect it when Levi’s fingers gently grabbed your chin and coaxed your head to look in his direction. You didn’t expect it when you opened your eyes and met his, his warm palm resting on your cheek. And what you didn’t expect most was for his eyes to look at you with so much love, so much care and adoration. Gone were the facades of boredom and disinterest; the stoicness and detachment they always seemed to reflect. All there was left was softness, warmth, and what seemed to be the unmistakable swirls of vulnerability.
“You’re just another medic too busy putting other peoples’ lives before your own.”
“Are you lying?” 
“No.” He whispers. “But you make me want to plan for a future I know we won’t have— a future we can’t have.” 
And for the first time, you knew he meant it. You knew what he meant. 
In your line of work full of death and violence and risks almost too big to take. In what you once thought was your little world, turning out to be too big for you to handle. In your personal brand of hell where tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, and loss was the only constant— it was enough. This small moment was enough.
“You have the most beautiful eyes.” You whispered, entranced. A soft chuckle leaves Levi’s lips, eyes turning into crescent moons so fitting of his gray orbs and your heart twitches at the sight and sound of his melodious laughter.
His thumb brushes over your cheek and your eyes meet his once again, the beautiful shades of gray staring you back. You didn’t know who did it first but at this point you didn’t care enough to find out because slowly, you both leaned in. Slowly, you both closed your eyes. And slowly, you both tilted your heads.
He pauses.
“May I?” Levi asks, lips merely inches away from yours. You nod.
“You may.”
And suddenly, the distance between your lips was no more.
There were no fireworks, no explosions in your heart or butterflies in your belly. There was no feeling of cloud nine, no feeling of want or need. There was only warmth in your chest, the feeling of a small fireplace crackling and glowing in the coldness of the night. The feeling of warm sheets and warm bodies cuddled up in an embrace.
Home. 
The feeling of home.
Because that’s what you were to Levi, and what Levi was to you.
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“Name and business.”
“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your routine checkup.”
“Come in.”
As the door opens and you set the tray down on his desk, hands gently holding the kettle to pour him his cup of tea, you noticed that Levi was still trying to write. But what caught your attention wasn’t the fact that it was no longer his name he tried to scribble, opting to write down complete sentences. What caught your attention was that he was wearing his prosthetics, and his eyepatch wasn’t on.
“Did you read the letter?” He asks. His hands were still writing and his eyes were still staring at the papers in front of him. But you could tell he was anxious.
“Yes.” You simply reply, and he nods.
“Good.”
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fckwritersblock · 4 years ago
Text
Protection Forever - William Lennox
Lennox x Reader
Description: Running into an old flame at the worst possible time.
Warning: nah. Bad writing? Kinda. Unedited because I was excited. I’ll not when it’s been fixed. Somethings may not be fully aligned with the movie but I tried 😩
Word count: 2500+
Dedicated to @merakiaes hey fren!
All gifs from @meragifs too!
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You were an EMT.
The two of you pulled up to meet with the other Autobots, you exiting the vehicle before he transformed. You were in awe as he and the rest of the cars all changed.
The biggest one, their leader, gave a rundown of everything that was happening once he confirmed Sam’s identity. This was just a recap for you as Ratchet had already explained. The teenage boy just stood there stuttering not really knowing how to process everything and you frowned again. That was when you really took notice of two teens just standing there. Having known what was expected of Sam Witwicky you frowned slightly.
“I don’t know about this Ratchet, he’s just kid.” You commented to the alien you had formed a quick bond with.
“And who might you be?” The one called Optimus inquired.
You gave him your name before the other yellow autobot, who you’d later learned was Bumble Bee, uttered something through his radio. It was hard for you to hear but the other robots seemed to be use to it as Ratchet responded immediately.
“The human. I like her.” Ratchet sounding irritated.
Bumblebee made another comment and right before Ratchet could respond one of the others chimed in.
“Wait why do they get humans?” Jazz asked incredulously. “I want one too!”
“Enough! Humans are not pets.” The one call Optimus Prime stated sternly, clearly tired of their bickering. You held your laugh, highly amused.
They were like siblings. A family.
“Exactly I’m just here to help and be a better tour guide than these kids can be.” You confirmed practically forcing your services on them. “Besides they need adult supervision. From the looks of it, you all do.” You grinned at everyone around you. Optimus gave a nod, agreeing.
“She stays. Let’s move.”
In that short amount of time things moved rather quickly. You watched the Autobots accidentally destroy Sam’s backyard when attempting to retrieve the glasses, you were all arrested, you escaped thanks to the Autobots, only to be arrested again.
Fail.
Finally you ended it some secret base. How get you weren’t alone. The government had apparently been on a roll with kidnapping civilians who “knew too much “.
Things weren’t going great but quickly went left when the Decepticons, the Autobot rivals, came to retrieve Megatron.
A war from another planet had officially made Earth its battleground.
You were nervous, trying to figure out how to calm everything down before things started to escalate. Nobody was going to get anywhere with all the bickering. That’s when you saw him.
It had been what? Two years?
Still, without even knowing it, without even knowing you were present, he was still able to make your heart be slow and fast at the same time. The army had aged him, but for the better making him all the more attractive but you couldn’t focus on that right now. Especially when you heard:
“The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One!”
All the soldiers begin to pack everything that they could to prepare in a fight the way they always did. It was an mirable the way Linux game orders in his men took them without a second thought. The trust there.
“That’s good. Get all the ammo you got.”
“Everything you can carry. Bring it.”
Tearing your eyes away from your former lover you grab Sam.
“Come on, we need Bee.” You reminded him, nodding in Simmons direction
“You got to take me to my car.” Sam said, then repeated when he was ignored. “You have to take me to my car. He’s gonna know what to do with the Cube.”
“Your car? It's confiscated.”
“Then unconfiscate it.” You stared blankly.
“We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! -“
“You don't know.”
“Maybe you know, but I don't know.”
You rolled your eyes at the insufferable mans rambling.
This was really was more about ego who was in control more than anything. The guy running the ship, clearly was on a power trip. Unfortunately for him he was facing off against soldiers . The Captain who’s eyes you could feel staring at the side of your face.
A Captain and his soldiers. Ones that really dont like to lose and take serving their country seriously.
The guy who arrested you earlier continue to argue with Sam about getting him back to bumblebee when Lennox finally pulled out his gun sick of the back-and-forth.
“Take him to his car!”
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As soon as he did so all hell broke loose and everyone from both parties pulled out a weapon.
“Drop it!”
It wasn’t until One of the sector seven agents pointed a gun at the back of Will’s head that you disable to another agent and took his gun and pointed it directly and held it directly at the one pointing the gun at your ex.
“I really wouldn’t.” You warned.
You were no soldier, but Will have taught you plenty before you broke up. So did your brother, before he passed away. He actually served alongside Will but died in combat. Biking. That’s part of why you were so hurt when Will re-enlisted. When he got promoted to Captain and chose the army over you. You were terrified of losing him the way you lost your brother. The break up wasn’t that messy but you both said things you didn’t mean. In attempts to mask your own pain and hurt one another.
You know. Hurt people, hurt people.
It’s still came to no surprise that you put a bullet in someone to protect him. Together or not you’d never let anything happen to him.
“I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction-“ Simmons ranted.
“S-Seven don't exist.” You interjected, earning a quick appreciative glance from Will.
“Right. And we don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.”
“I’m gonna count to 5. Okay-“ Simmons attempted to threat yet again.
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“Well, I’m gonna count to three.” Will deadpanned.
You knew that look. God did you know that look and it was so wrong that you were so turned on.
Finally the Secretary of defense interfered telling Simmons to do what was being asked of him. Everyone relaxed slight, weapons lowering.
“Y/n,”
“Captain.”
The Captain and couldn’t help but watch you how do you get up and prepare to go.
“So that’s her huh?” Epps commented as Will watched you run off with Sam.
“Yeah..” Will answered, mind racing.
While he knew he’d eventually see you again, he didn’t think it would be like this. You looked breath taking.
“Damn. Shorty had your back that entire time.”
“Gear up,”
“What I’m just saying I thought she was gonna put a cap in his.” Epps shouted after his Captain receiving no response.
Will knew you had his back, you always would, the same way he would always have yours. He thought of you often, the break up between two inescapable, never feeling like he did the right thing. You were always not too far from the front of his mind. Him wondering how you were doing. If you were happy. If you found somebody else. There was no doubt he regretted what had transpired between the two of you. It was his fault. He knew that. You knew that. He had ample opportunity to fight for you and he didn’t. When he was promoted Captain he felt he had to choose between you and the army. He didn’t choose you the way he should’ve. In reality he could’ve had both. However hr so caught up proven himself to his deadbeat dad that he possibly let the best thing that ever happened to him go.
Not to mention trying to atone for your brothers death. It wasn’t his fault, but he still couldn’t shake it. So without talking to you he reenlisted. Needless to say where that got him.
Now hear the both of you were in the middle of an alien war. Yeah. This is the last place he thought he’d see you.
You were numb. The battle on the highway enough to freak you out. For mommy, just a moment you thought this might be a dream but no. This is all very real. One minute you guys were just entering the city trying to lay low, next thing you know - BOOM! The explosion knocked all of you over, injuring some, killing a few. Bumblebee’s legs were partially blown off.
Getting up off the pavement you waited for the ringing in your ear to subside as you stood up, trying to study yourself when you felt a pair of arms hold you still.
You knew it was Will just by the way he touched you, you blinked hard trying not to go down memory lane.
“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was enough to make your heart skip a bear.
“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Yeah I’m fine.”
Slowly you removed yourself from his grip and went to check on Sam and Mikaela. Ratchet on the other hand -
“Hmm. His pheromone levels are-“ you quickly turned on him and glared.
“Ratchet I’ll turn you into a can opener if you don’t shut the hell up.”
The robot nearly held his hands up in the surrendering position as he followed you. Will had arranged an aircraft to pick up Sam and the cube while everyone else defended themselves against the deceptive cons in a hurry to get the cube far far away before Megatron arrived. Sam was in a panic and so Michaela, you could see Will’s short fuse getting ready to exploded. It was then you decided to be an escort.
“Sam, you can’t do this alone.” Michaela fussed.
“He won’t be alone.” You commented, causing all parties involved to look at you.
“I’m going with you.” You declared.
“No.” Will didn’t even hesitated as he stepped closer to you.
“Captain Lennox-“
“No!” You grabbed him by the front of his beer and pushed him back.
“Do you see what going on out there?!” You continued to hold on to him and you yelled at him over there chose. “We’re at a war. One we are extremely ill prepared for. So get your shit together! Sam is my responsibility. I have to get this kid to safety.”
This time your hands slid up the side of his face forcing him to look at you.
“Y/n..” he breathed out leaning down toward you, and for the first time during all this madness you could visibly see he was afraid.
“I’ll be back, Will.” You assured him, briefly resting your forehead against his.
Gathering himself he pulled away, looking toward Sam then back at you.
“Go. Go!”
And then we were running.. With nothing but an M16 strapped to your back and the pistol in your hand, you ran faster than you ever have before.
The four of you were under attack once more, you and Sam doing what you had to, to avoid getting snatched up as a fight Ironhide and Ratchet defended you. Unfortunately you were too close to one of the cars that went up in flames and you were thrown into another car from the blast.
“Y/n!” You could feel the blood on your forehead as you slowly pushed yourself up. As you tried to stand you immediately stopped feeling the pain in your thigh. Looking down could see the damage that had been done. The blood surrounding the afflicted area.
“Wha- what, what do i do?!” Sam asked frantically once he took notice of your injury.
“You gotta keep going Sam. I’ll be fine.”
He stood fo his feet, unsure of what to do. When Ironhide told him the same thing.
“Go!” You screamed once more.
Sam left and continued to run without you as you, as quickly as possible, as you tore your focus away from him to pull the shard of glass in your leg out. Ripping a piece of your shirt off you tightly tied it around your thigh in order to stop the bleeding. There was no point in going forward now but the return back to everyone else and help them fight.
You just had to avoid getting killed in the process.
You seen a car steering wheel, a Mountain Dew vending machine and and Xbox all turn into one of those freaky ass robots right before your eyes. All of which you helped others fight off. It was so surreal. In fact, if it wasn’t for the constant ringing in your ear from all the explosions you definitely think you were dreaming. You almost made it back to Lennox and his men when another Decepticon stood between between you and your destinations. They were definitely taking a beating. You saw Epps shooting a green laser indicating the robot that doubled as a helicopter wasn’t a friendly and decided to do what you could to keep the Decepticon from getting any closer to them and hurting any more civilians. In an attempt to draw it away from everyone else, you begin to fire your weapon giving it everything you had.
Unfortunately, the side effective taking its attention off the others meant putting the attention on you.
You ran trying to duck and dodge a bullets now directed your way.
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But Will. Will’s heart dropped. Seeing you there defending yourself alone. His pause was brief, the air forces plan already in motion, before he started the motorcycle and was speeding in your direction.
“William!” You screamed for him fearfully as he drove straight toward the robot.
The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You almost couldn’t breathe, you don’t remember the last time you ever felt so scared in your life. But it wasn’t your life you feared for was it?
He rushed forward and slid under the robot continuing to firing the launcher. All you could do was watch as he drove toward you. Toward the danger your mind wondering if he did that on a regular basis. Was this the life of a soldier? What he went through day after day when he was deployed?
Standing up he only spared the parts of the dismembered robot a glance before shouting and turning looking for you. In a matter of seconds he was standing directly in front of you and pulling you into his arms.
Relief.
There was nothing like physically being about to touch someone, hold someone to really know they were okay.
“So…” you began, suddenly feeling nervous. “...That was hot-“
Before you were able to get another word in, he captured your lips with his kissing you roughly and bringing you closer, hands on the small of your back. You couldn’t help it kiss him back just as fiercely put in every emotion you had into that kiss.
Every ounce of passion he had in body, put into this kiss, your lips just as soft, kiss just as pure as he remembered. When you kissed, he knew he was a goner and could never let you go again.
It has been two years since the last time you guys have been this close. This intimate. Reconnected. The feeling it gave you, the indescribable feeling, was one neither one of you ever wanted to forgo again. Pulling back slowly, you both had smiles on your faces, Will pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead.
“Excuse me,” Epps interrupted.
The both of you turning your attention on him.
“As cute as this shit is it’s highly inappropriate in the middle of the battle. I’m just saying we are trying to stay alive and shit.”
———————————————
Oh my fu- I don’t even know what this isssss
Couldn’t tell you what my original ideas was or nothing. I believed this was going to short-
I enjoyed writing it though! Shoutout again to @merakiaes for being on this lennox train with me lol
I’m just....I’m just gonna leave this mess here.
Bye
- Mo
—————————-
Tags: @merakiaes @lilythemadqueen
488 notes · View notes
ktffansub · 3 years ago
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Bijutsu Techo: Boys Love – Interview: Yoneda Kou
This article was first published in November 17th, 2014. Translated from Japanesse to Bahasa Indonesia by kalengjelek and then translated from Bahasa Indonesia to English by KTFfansub. Source: here
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When did you first encounter manga?
I was born in a family with three daughters; while my older sister likes reading Ribbon magazine, I like reading Nakayoshi. It was the era of Asagiri Yuu-sensei, when I was in elementary school. My favorite at that time were Kusunoki Kei sensei’s works and Patlabor. When it came to Shonen, I would say I was more into Shounen Sunday. I also loved Kawaraha Izumi sensei’s works. When I think about it, rather than manga that were full of passion, I’d actually prefer manga that had calm and soothing kind of vibe.
Is that so… What about BL?
When I was in Junior High, my older sister showed me Captain Tsubasa Doujinshi by Ozaki Minami and I was dumbfounded, I thought, “So, there’s also a world like this!”. After that, I started to buy BL manga. At that time, the mangaka who left the most impression to me was Nishi Keikosensei. Her works such as Mizu Ga Koori Ni Naru Toki, Tenshi Ni Naranakya have unique openings, it made me reread them many times. Uida Shiuko (now Kano Shiuko) and Yoshinaga Fumi Sensei are also my favorite mangaka.
When was the first time you draw manga?
I seriously began drawing manga in my first year of junior high. At first, I drew a pair of man and woman, but after page three, I felt something was off. So, I tried drawing BL for the next one. Just like the present, I’ve always loved less expressive and less-talkactive main characters (laughs). But the more I draw, then an attentive senpai with good personality and short haired ones like Togawa in Doushitemo Furetakunai also appeared. At that moment I thought, “Oh, this is it!”
You really weren’t embarrassed, are you? (laughs)
Well, it’s because it was embarrassing, that’s why I’m not really open about my drawing manga activity.
(laughs) But you debut as professional mangaka eventually, how did that happen?
Yes, after that… I worked as office lady. I got married not long after, but then, I was getting through a marriage blues. At that time, I was invested in Kakashi and Naruto shown by my older sister along with Comiket catalogue.
The power of moe beats out your anxiety (laughs)
It’s true (laughs). Escaping from reality, I checked a lot of circles and opened some sites. There I found a work from a novelist (now has debuted professionally) that I really liked. This is why I started writing novel at first, not drawing. I have a lot of ways to accommodate my moe needs. I also once drew Doujinshi but due to my inability to use a proper diction, the result wasn’t optimal (laughs). After drawing slowly and more at ease, I got into Katekyo Hitman Reborn fandom and drew a lot of doujinshi for that series. A year later, I was contacted by Taiyou Tosho publisher.
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“With that publisher, Yoneda Kou published Doushitemo Furetakunai which has been adapted into a movie. Since the beginning, Yoneda Kou didn’t draw one-shot but serialization. For the movie, even though it only tells a story of daily lives, but the directing, composition and dialogue are impressive. About 4,5 years later, the second volume of Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai that had the yakuza neighborhood setting was released. This has completely different feeling compared to Doushitemo Furetakunai.”
My first work was actually published in Drap, so I had it adjusted to be a less-heavy work. That’s why I ended up switching to another magazine.
Was it a demand from the editor?
Of course I only draw what I want to draw. But without realizing, I always draw them to fit the magazine. And it seems like Taiyou Tosho prefers me to draw more simple work.
So, sensei is the type who pays attention to editor’s suggestion. When you wrote the first chapter of Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai, did you already want Yashiro to be the main character (for longterm series)?
Right. I didn’t explain it in the first one-shot, but I always believe that no matter how you look at it, Yashiro really loved Kageyama. And (even though he’s drawn like that) he is actually a neko (uke). I think he is an interesting character. When I drew highschooler Yashiro and others, it had been decided that I wanted to write a serialization for this.
And only then the character Doumeki was born?
At that time, the character Doumeki didn’t exist, but I thought very hard about what kind of partner that would be suitable for Yashiro. I took a break from drawing for about two years. I only worked on illustration during that time, until one morning an idea suddenly came to me, “That’s right! Erectile dysfunction!”. I immediately sent an email to my editor: “A perverted impotent man!” (laughs). Afterwards, I finally worked on the first draft.
(laughs hard) Finally, the combination of Yashiro and Doumeki who are the opposite of each other was decided. What an amazing couple that can even make the readers losing sleep.
I do have this particular interest in people’s decision and behaviour resulted from a contrasting relationship that is full of conflicts. Because there are so many characters in Saezuru, I have this excel file compiling the plot for each character chronologically. Otherwise, I would’ve forgotten about it. If I didn’t seriously research (the setting of my own story), I wouldn’t be able to write anything when I made name. But even though I got through it, drawing a family with no blood ties like yakuza was still difficult. If I don’t focus, the story might turn out like Nagara Sakugyou*. That’s why now I’m just focusing on doing Saezuru.
*) nagara sakugyou: other work that being serialized at the same time
Up until now, Sensei has published 5 volumes and all of them have beautiful covers with varied tones.
Actually, the cover color for Doushitemo Furetakunai should’ve looked like red wine, but it seemed like there was an error in printing so the pink was contrasting into it. But it turned out to be good.
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Then about the cover for the Saezuru first volume. It’s so impressive! The stepped-on man! All the people around me also had high appraise for this.
Actually, there were so many things happened in the process. By taking the request (it isn’t clearly explained whether it’s from editor/designer) of “Yashiro sitting alone”, I first submitted that illustration to the book designer. However, I couldn’t throw away the idea of Yashiro being stepped on, so, during the next three days I was stressed out. I’ve finally asked them to keep my idea and that’s how the cover of the first volume ended up the way it is now.
I see! For the second volume, it’s totally different, isn’t it? It’s a scenery, but when you do a double take, there are Yashiro and Doumeki!
I always want to give a different vibe in each volume. Actually I’m also a fan of the way Tsumugi Taku-sensei draws scenery.
Hoo-, sensei is a fan of Tsumugi sensei! Talking abough NIGHTS, when you open the cover, there’s a surprise in it!
Yes, if you look at the rough sketches there were 4 pages of picture that were interconnected. In the end, the desainer took picture number two as the cover and number four to put it on the bottom of the back cover. For Soredemo, I didn’t get any guide from the book designer. I combined the the feel of the story with a touch of water paint. At first, I actually wanted to make Deguchi pulling Onoda’s hand to get out of the train, but it ended up looking like Deguchi forced Onoda to stay (with him). So I decided it’s Onoda who’s getting off the train by himself with Deguchi waiting on the platform.
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Do you do the coloring with computer? How about the non-colored script?
I use SAI for coloring but for monochrome I usually draw by my hand until the inking, then I do the tone using photoshop.
Do you self-learned drawing?
Well, I at least bought a lot of ‘pose reference’ books often. When it comes to buy things, it feels great, doesn’t it? But when it comes to manga, we draw to tell our moe concept.. well, I love drawing moe concept, but the thing is- I’m not really good at drawing. I like thinking about moe stuff, I also like to combine colors (inside my head) but when I do, I have no desire to draw I, even though that’s the important part. There are often times when I feel like drawing is a handful. In short, I want to draw something that isn’t too troublesome.
But, isnt it because you’re doing manga seriously that it feels difficult?
Because I’m too serious I feel like the story can be boring. Not only the work but also the author (laughs). I often read comments saying my manga is ‘down to earth’. I guess it’s shown obviously in every each of my works
Sure, there are people who think like, “In real world, there’s no way a wakagashira can be as masochist as Yashiro”, but apart from that, Saezuru still gives an impression of it being realistic. In drawing the important men’s arms and muscles in your work, sensei has done your best. Getting into the story, the characters also put extra effort to look elegant. Despite the young age, in a positive sense, sensei’s works feels like having Showa* vibe.
(*SHOWA ERA: 1926~1989)
I’m no longer young, though (laughs). Maybe this is why my works often get called “JUNE”. Especially Saezuru, I think it really fits (JUNE concept).
Are you an organized person?
I’m actually a person who have no chill (laughs). But I have this side of myself who tend to see things as a whole, look at my surrounding then step on the brake. There is also a side of me that is so energetic in creating my own moe that I turn into a selfish person. I guess that’s also my flaw.
It seems like sensei is the type who has her own editorial meeting inside her head (laughs)
I wish it’s not true, but unfortunately, I’m the type of person who is embarrased to admit that I have a relationship with manga. Even until now I have yet told my close friends about this job (as BL mangaka). I’m not that kind of person who like to share or tell others about my moe situation inside my head. When my moe concept is being visualized in public I would scream, “Don’t look! But if you want to read it, I’d be happy”. Yes, I’m that kind of person.
I wonder if sensei’s works are the manifestation of sensei’s own self-contradictions..
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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years ago
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Whatever Katsuki Wants - Bakugou Katsuki
Bakugou x f!Reader
Warnings: ANGST, violence, blood, cursing, lowkey little yandere Bakugou, smut, toxic relationship
Request: can I get Bakugou comes across a criminal on one of his bad days and he goes straight feral with an insane satisfied smile as he beats the shit out of them till they die. (Dark Ik, sorry😂) but as he beats the man, a video is taken of the scene and instead of posting it the anonymous person sent it to quirkless!FemaleReader. How would that play out?
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
“Fucking hell!”
Bakugou ran through the dark city chasing an annoying ass criminal. It wasn’t even a villain per say, more like a petty thief wanting to ruin someone’s day. His day. Now usually, the number 2 hero wouldn’t be pursuing this type of crime, but the damn prick ran into a bank, held hostages, and got away with over 5 grand.
The pro was already have a pissy day from the second he woke up. He couldn’t wake up next to his Teddy Bear because you had to visit your parents for something that started before even Katsuki had to wake up, then he burned his breakfast because a damn bird flew into the kitchen window, he was late to work and got put on night patrol, he probably wouldn’t get to see you when he got home before you knocked out because you also had a night shift, and now this.
Every second that passed caused his damn blood to boil. He was mad at....well, existence. Not his, just existence in general. For everything. He was so close to catching this damn bastard that when he finally pounced the guy, he didn’t realize there were footsteps coming his way.
Bakugou pinned the criminal to the ground in an alleyway and completely disregarded his quirk. He needed to take his anger out on something and this poor man happened to be in his grip. Bakugou threw punch after punch, kicked the man in his stomach until he coughed up blood, he stomped on the man’s head, threw him against a wall, etc. He ended it with a strong and fiery blast at the unconscious body. Finally, after 2 minutes of silence, Bakugou began to sinisterly laugh. A psychotic laugh with a crazed look in his eye. He was hunched over with his arms loose as he walked towards the dead man, picking him up by his skull.
“Sorry buddy, you caught me on a bad day,” he laughed out and whispered into the lifeless body’s ear. He threw the body into a pile of trash cans before walking out of the alleyway. When he turned the corner, he took notice of a trembling civilian, holding a camera at him. “The hell?! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DAMN CAMERA?!”
Bakugou barked at the random person with devil eyes before sending a blast to the phone. The person ran away screaming, pissed at the hero for doing that. To be petty, the “extra” (as Bakugou would say) wanted this video to be exposed. Not to the media, this person wasn’t cruel enough to destroy someone else’s career, but he wanted to send it to someone to have the hero learn a lesson.
Now it was no secret that the pro was in a relationship. In an article, it was revealed that the two of you had been together for the past 4 years. With that in mind, the damn hacker found Dynamight’s longtime girlfriend’s number and sent the video her way.
At Bakugou’s nice home, his perfect little oblivious girlfriend hummed a tune to herself as she made some spicy curry for her precious Suki. Now it’s not that Y/N was dumb. She was actually very intelligent. But when it came to Katsuki, she was just a cute little “housewife” that loved him.
Flashback
When Bakugou first met you in the grocery market, he couldn’t help but notice your tiny but voluptuous figure, you were struggling to reach a box of cereal until Katsuki came along and helped.
“Here you go, Short Stack. Maybe next time you should ask your mommy to help you reach the high shelves.” He teased with a wink to the nickname.
You looked at the handsome blonde with a blush at first sight but when he teased you, your blush grew more ferocious with a pout and pointed brows. “I don’t need my mom to help me in the grocery store. I’m 22 for God’s sake!” You said, reaching for the box that he now held over his head.
“Hm, woulda said 17.” He teased again. You ignored his jokes and jumped to reach the box and take it out of his hands. You failed multiple times and he still stood tall with a smirk as he looked down at you.
‘Now she’s fucking cute’ he thought to himself. His eyes traveled down to your busty hips and tiny waist, then taking notice of the way your chest bounced around when you jumped and reached for the cereal. ‘Pretty damn sexy too.’
“C’mon little bear. You can do it.” He said with a shit eating grin. You pouted some more and stomped your foot before coming to a realization and began smirking. You dropped to the floor and swooped your legs to kick at his ankles and made him drop to the floor. As he fell, he let go of the box and you caught it midway before turning your back to him. Usually, Bakugou would be a little pissed, but his anger died down at the sight of your juicy ass.
“Yes!” You cheered.
“Woah..” Bakugou said in a trance. You turned to him with a confused look before he quickly hid it with a scowl. You giggled at his place on the floor and stuck out your hand to help him up.
“Sorry, but maybe you should’ve just given me my cereal. Anyway, thanks for the ‘help’ I guess..uh..” you asked, hinting for his name.
“Bakugou.” He answered and you nodded and gave a soft smile before speaking.
“Bakugou.” You said, finishing your previous sentence. “Well, I’ll be off now,”
You began to walk away but felt Bakugou tug on your arm. You looked back at him with another confused look but was only met with a cute smirk.
“Hey, I helped you with that cereal, the least you could do is give me the pretty girl’s name.” He said. You blushed a bit more before giving him a dumb look.
“Who? Me?” You teased.
“Nooo, the old hag at the cash register,” he joked. You both laughed at his comment as you settled with his hold on you, not minding the contact at all.
“Y/N L/N.” You said.
“Alright Y/N L/N, was nice meeting you.” He said with his hands in his pockets while holding a smile. A real smile and not a smirk.
“I know.” You said with a cocky smile that he could only chuckle at. “Was nice meeting you too Bakugou. I’ll see you around,” you said walking away with a waving hand.
As you walked, Bakugou couldn’t help but admire your curvy body and drool at the sight. He didn’t know what it was but something was pulling him to you. He wanted you. He needed you. That little interaction was not enough. It’s not even that he wanted to fuck. Sure you had a banging body, but your playful self caught his interest. He wanted your mind, body, and soul. He wanted to make you his.
Through the help of technology and his access to police files and hero reports, he was able to find your name, address, where you worked, and all that. He worked hard to “coincidentally” run into you constantly, up until the point where you two became quite acquainted. You eventually asked him to hang out (as friends) and that’s where the relationship grew. A few months had passed before Bakugou successfully asked you on a date, and that’s when you both found love within each other. Or more so, you found love in him. He loved you at first sight and he knew it for a fact.
After a year of dating, Bakugou asked you to move in with him and you of course said yes. Once settled in, he worked even harder to constantly fuck you stupid, break you down but build you up at the same time. He made it clear he was in charge and you were his little toy. A toy he loved with his entire being, but still a toy.
You became his dumb little girl. You had a job but Katsuki encouraged you to not work so much. “I don’t want you to raise a finger pretty girl. Just let Daddy take care of you,” he would say as he bounced you on his cock.
You had a little dance hobby that Katsuki also encouraged you to take a break from. “You don’t need to put on a show for anybody else but me, Princess. Daddy’ll give you all the attention you want.” He’d say as he kissed your cheek and finger you in front of a mirror.
You used to have friends before Bakugou found out they were trying to warn you of his abrasive behavior. Growing pissed at that, he convinced you they were against you and were no good for you.
“Those little friends of yours could never make you feel as good as I do, baby. They’re no good for you. They just want us to be apart. They’re jealous. They want you to leave me, but you don’t want that, right princess?”
“N-No daddy!”
“That’s right princess. You definitely don’t wanna leave me. Because no would could take care of you like I do, right? No one could. Nobody but me,” he would say as he pounded into you and whispered in your ear.
Eventually, Katsuki became your whole life. You would work one day a week so that you had more time for Katsuki. You would wake up next to him and cuddle with him until he had to leave for work. You would clean the house and cook for him, and you would wait for him to come home during the late hours of the night so you could smother him with love. Often times, you guys would fuck. Matter of fact, the day you first moved in, you Christened every place and piece of furniture in his house. It was the same routine that you learned to love. Wake up, cuddle, clean, cook, love, fuck.
Being Katsuki’s precious dumb baby girl, he couldn’t let his baby bear see all the damage he does as a hero. Oh no, that would scare you way too much. Your precious little self wouldn’t be able to handle it. He would tell you he was a pro hero, the number 2 hero, saving lives, and he was satisfied every time he saw the sparkle in your eyes as you looked at your hero boyfriend with a proud look. He never told you about the dark side of hero work though. The bloodshed, the kills, the deaths. Horrid things your sweet baby mind wouldn’t be able to take. He would keep his princess oblivious to the terrible things he has to do as a hero and you being his dumb little bear listened when he said you wouldn’t be able to find any videos of him. Why bother to check if he was right? Your Katsuki would never lie to you. He would never do wrong by you. All and all, Katsuki can’t risk her getting scared and leaving.
That was until....
Ding!
You were busy finishing up dinner when your phone went off. You looked down to the screen to see a random number had sent you a video. From the preview of the video on the banner, you took notice of that easily recognizable tuff of spiky blonde hair. You grew excited at the small sight of your boyfriend and swooned before you watched the video.
After you pressed play, your smile remained as you watched your boyfriend. However, as the video went on, your smile slowly dropped and became replaced with an open mouth. Your eyes became filled with fear as you watched your “sweet” boyfriend ruthlessly murder a man in an alleyway. You listened to his crazy laugh and felt your heart skip a few beats. Your mouth became dry and your palms grew sweaty as the video continued to install fear in you. Finally, your boyfriend threw the dead body into a pile of trash cans before you saw him look to the camera with those eyes. Those ruby gems that you used to love turned into blood drops as he gave the camera a scary glare. He barked at the man behind the camera before aiming a blast his way. The blast came at the camera and made you jump as it felt like the attack was going to hit you. You flinched and dropped your phone as the video finished and your breath grew heavy as you began to sweat and look around.
You immediately ran to your shared bedroom and pulled out your laptop. Katsuki always said you would never find anything about Dynamight online, but all you had to do was type in his name to find multiple videos of his deathly battles. You watched countless recordings of him mercilessly killing people left and right with his quirk and bare hands. Your body began to shake as your pupils dilated with fear. After a terribly gruesome fight video, you threw your device aside in fear and ran into the living room. You settled the slightest bit before growing nervous once more. All around the house were pictures of you and Katsuki. He was everywhere in the house. And those dangerously red eyes followed you everywhere. You began to hyperventilate until the sound of jingling keys invaded your ears.
You looked at the door in fear and after a few seconds, the main man walked in. Katsuki Bakugou. He seemed exhausted but once he took sight of you, he visibly became at ease.
Bakugou walked into the door, pissed off and tired as fuck. Luckily, that all changed when he noticed his precious Teddy Bear in the living room. He assumed you came to greet him again like you always did and he smiled at that.
“K-Katsuki! Hi..” you nervously said but Bakugou was too intoxicated with you to even notice. He walked to you with a smile and wrapped his arms around your waist before peppering your face in sweet kisses. You flinched due to his touch but Bakugou just assumed it was because of his stronger caramel scent. He did use his quirk a lot today after all.
“Hi baby,” he said. He didn’t stop his kisses as he spoke in between them. “Had such a bad day this mornin’.....was so upset......missed you a lot baby...did you miss me?”
“Mm..y-yes.” You once again said in fear. You definitely missed him throughout the day, but now with this new information, you wanted nothing more than to get away from him. Bakugou moved his kisses to your lips and placed a long, loving one on you. He had his eyes shut and so did you, but his were shut in content and yours were scrunched in fear. The entire time, you could feel your rapid heart rate pulse all throughout your body.
Bakugou started a heavy make out session with you as his hands traveled to the swell of your ass and gave it a grip and smack. He spoke to you throughout the kiss and kept his lips hovering when he spoke before diving right back into it. “Not my best day today......but you can make it better, right baby.....you wanna help Daddy feel better?”
“Mm!” You didn’t say yes but you couldn’t say no either. You didn’t know how to. Not when it came to Katsuki. At the cute little sound, Bakugou picked you up and placed you down on the couch, too eager to dive into you right away.
He placed you on the wide couch and began grabbing at your body. Your tiny waist, your curvy hips, your pretty titties. That was when he finally felt you tense up. A few nervous thoughts infiltrated his mind. Did you not want this? You never said no to him though. What was going on? He pushed those thoughts away as he continued. Maybe you were just extra sensitive today. Things were starting to change when he moved his hand down into your panties and you tried to squirm away from him.
“Baby?” He asked you as he separated from your lips and gave you a confused puppy look. He finally took notice of your nervousness and looked at you with worry. “You okay, princess?”
“Umm, yeah! I’m-..I’m okay it’s just, you don’t wanna take a shower before we do anything?” You asked as an excuse. Bakugou chuckled and a few of his nerves began to settle.
“C’mon princess, I know I just got off of work but it’s always just smoke and caramel with me. Besides you love it, I know you do.” He said and smirked as he began to lick at your neck. You nervously laugh and pushed on his chest to back him up.
“Aha, yeah, but don’t you wanna be a little more comfortable?” You asked again.
“I’m already comfortable right here. If anything, I’d be really comfortable if we were both bare already.” He said against your neck again. You pushed him off again and placed a soft hand on his cheek while giving him the sweetest smile as you spoke.
“Please love, for me?” You asked. You watched as Bakugou gave an exasperated sigh with a smile and roll of his eyes before leaning down and giving you a sweet peck.
“For you.” He said before pecking your cheek. “Everything for you, baby.” He said and finally got up to go wash up.
Once he was out of sight you released a relieved sigh. With him gone, you felt yourself began to shake again as you crowded into a corner on the couch and held yourself. You covered your mouth as you began to silently cry and sob. That-..that killer was so close to you. He was pressed against you. His once loving and comforting presence now became dangerous and scary. You didn’t know if you could take it.
As Katsuki walked up the stairs to the master bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel the nerves begin to bubble back up again. Why were you acting so...disobedient? It kind of irritated the blonde but he settled nonetheless. Maybe you were just having an off day. Bakugou walked right into the room and went straight for the shower after tossing his phone on the bed. The sooner he washed up, the sooner he could get to ravish you. He was quickly in and out of the shower and once he went back into the room, he threw on a pair of Gray sweats. Before leaving, Bakugou went to grab his phone but noticed your laptop opened. He looked to the screen in curiosity and felt his heart drop to his stomach once he saw what he did.
‘PRO-HERO DYNAMIGHT’S MOST LETHAL ATTACKS’ was the video you were watching. Bakugou took notice of the setting and remembered that battle. The battle where he grabbed a villain by their neck and blasted off into the sky before using an explosion to hurl them down to the ground again, killing them in the end.
Why the hell were you watching this? How the hell did you find this?! Why did you even think of looking for this video?! Bakugou felt his heart rate increase as his breath became huffs of frustration. His eyes grew fierce as he grabbed the laptop and ran downstairs. Once he walked in, he saw you cornered in the couch, hugging your knees with your head down. “Y/N!”
You immediately looked up when your boyfriend called your name. He finally saw your teary eyes and feared face when you looked to him. Then it finally clicked. This is why you were acting so off. You found him. You found the other side of him. The Katsuki you knew was sweet, teasing, loving, and a romantic. The Katsuki he hid from you was ruthless, violent, feral, and borderline insane. And you were acting off because you finally found out.
“Mind telling me what the fuck this is?!” He shouted. Now this wouldn’t be the first time Katsuki’s yelled at you. While he was in the process of breaking you down, he had to yell to let you know who was in charge. It’s not like he was heartless though, he hated it every time you forced his hand and made him yell at you. He felt so guilty and made sure to cater to your every need after he would freak out on you. Thankfully, you were a quick learner and it’s been years since you’ve gotten reprimanded by him.
You stood to your feet to try and defend yourself and get a grip. “K-Katsuki! I-..I swear it’s nothing! I wasn’t doing anything!”
“You’re gonna fucking lie to me now, Y/N?! Why the hell did you go and look for this video?” He fiercely asked. You remained silent as you were terrified and just trembled at you chewed at your lip. “ANSWER ME!”
“I-...Someone-..Somebody sent me a video...of you...and what you did tonight.” You hesitantly said. Bakugou slammed to your laptop shut and threw it to a wall, destroying it in the process.
“Show me the video.” He demanded. You were still shaking as you looked to him in fear and shock at what he just did. “NOW!”
You scrambled to get your phone and give it to Katsuki. He watched the video with a numb expression but his grip on the phone gave away all his emotions of anger and fury. Once the video was done, he looked at you with an insane smirk. You stared at him in fear as you watched his every move and right then and there he crushed your phone in his hand.
“K-Katsuki!” You shouted as you looked to your now destroyed devices. He dusted off his hands and walked to you. You tensed up at his approach and when he raised a hand to cup your cheek gently, he felt the way you shook in extreme terror.
“It’s okay, baby. You can tell me whatever you’re thinking right now. I won’t get mad.” He softly said with a smile. He was so close to you now. His hand was caressing your face oh so sweetly that it made you believe him the slightest bit. You don’t know if it was love or fear that caused you to tell him but you did.
“I-..I’m..I’m scared of you Katsuki.” You said with tears in your eyes. Katsuki just continued to softly stroke your face with his gentle smile as he nodded his head and encouraged you to go on. “You didn’t tell me..about anything of that. You told me you saved people..but you were..killing them.”
“It’s how I have to save people baby. People who become too dangerous need to be put down. It’s my job baby, you understand, don’t you?” He asked with his gentle tone. You shook your head as he still held it softly.
“No..I- I don’t.” You looked at Katsuki with hurt eyes and you took a small breath before you boldy said the next words. “I-..I think we should take a break.”
At that, Katsuki tensed up again. His eyes went wide for a second and his smile dropped before he shook his head and the kind eyes and warm smile returned. He stared at you for what felt like forever before his sweet face turned into a scary look and his hand quickly wrapped around your neck to put you into a small choke hold. Bakugou flipped you onto the couch and pinned you there. You began to scream and squirm but he covered your mouth and held you down with his legs to keep you steady.
“Careful Teddy Bear,” he said with a maniacal look, “shout and scream too much and you might just lose your breath,” he said and tightened his hold the slightest bit. “And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”
You began to silently sob as his hand covered your mouth and you stopped moving under his hold. You nodded your head as tears began to spill down your face. Katsuki pouted at you before leaning down to lick away a tear. “Awe, don’t cry baby. There’s nothing to be scared off.”
At his words, your eyes grew angry and you bit his hand to remove it. He shouted at the bite and removed his hand as he looked down at you in anger. “You! That’s what I’m scared of Katsuki!” You said with anger and sadness.
Bakugou didn’t take too kindly to that and clenched his fist before he smacked your face. Your head turned to the side at the hard slap as you gasped at the contact. Bakugou grabbed your face with his large hand and made you face him.
“Dirty fucking bitch. You fucking love getting smacked by me don’t you?” He said with a crazed look. “Listen to me very carefully Y/N. I’ve loved you since I first laid my fucking eyes on you. So you’re not allowed to leave me. Understand?” He asked. You began to squirm again and he smacked you again to get you to stop. “ENOUGH OF THAT! You’re not leaving me Y/N. If you run, I’ll find you again the same way I did in the beginning. If you hit me, I’ll have to punish you. You remember all your punishments, don’t you? So stop fighting it. You love me and I love you. We’re not splitting up.”
You narrowed your eyes at Bakugou before spitting on his face. His eyes grew feral as his hold returned to your neck to give it a squeeze. You could still breath..but barely. “Answer me this baby. Answer wrong though and I’ll do what has to be done. Do you want to leave me?”
You looked at his eyes to find any hints of danger. Sadly, everything about this whole situation screamed danger. You still had love for Katsuki, you knew you did, but this was a whole different level. You didn’t know who this was. “.....Yes.”
“Wrong answer.”
With that, Bakugou began to rip your clothes off along with his own. You watched in fear as he did everything. The entire time, he had this excited grin on his face with insane eyes.
“K-Katsuki! What are yo-“ before you could finish, Bakugou had taken your panties and used them as a gag for you. He shoved them in your mouth and you made muffled sounds. You were both now completely bare on the couch, just like he wanted when he first came home.
“Relax baby,” he said before kissing your cheek softly as he pulled you to him. “I’m gonna make you feel so good..I’m gonna do something so nice that you’ll never want to leave.”
You shook your head with tears in your eyes. You tried push him away but he pulled your hands down. “Stop that. I’m not a heartless monster baby. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
He grabbed both your hands and pinned them above your head in the couch. Both your tiny hands were able to be held by his one giant palm as his other hand traveled to your lower region and began rubbing soft circles on your clit. You arched your back at the pleasant feeling. As much as you didn’t want this, as much as you wanted to run away and leave, your body couldn’t deny the pleasure he gave you. He knew you inside and out. He was able to break you from a single touch.
“Feel good?” He asked with a smirk. You shook your head in disagreement. His smirk fell into a determined frown. He knew you didn’t want this now but he would make sure you would soon enough. His movements picked up speed and your legs began to shake. Katsuki finally shoved two fingers in, causing you to shriek with the muffled sound.
His pumps gave no hesitation with their speed as they went in hard and fast. You were practically screaming behind the panties once he gave in another 2 fingers. His thumb played with your clit as he continued to whisper dirty things into your ear.
“My little slut really thought she could leave me? Huh? Cant you hear the sounds your pretty pussy is making. Your mouth may say you don’t want me but your mind and body says otherwise.” With that he slipped in his thumb and you’ve never felt so full. You had his entire fist pumping in and out of you as your felt your legs growing weak. “Fuck baby, look at you. Taking my fist so well. Feel good? Feel full? Hm?”
This time, you moaned in agreement. You couldn’t help it. This was going to be your last time with Katsuki, might as well make it last. However, that was never Bakugou’s plan, no. He loves you too much to let you go. You aren’t leaving him and he’s making sure of it.
As he continued, he felt you tighten around his fist. He smiled once again and sped up his movements. “C’mon baby, let me hear you.” He leaned down and pulled the panties out of your mouth with his teeth. He tossed them aside and allowed you to voice your thoughts.
“F-Fuck Katsuki! M-More! Please!” You begged. He only looked down at you with wide eyes and a grin.
“More? What more could I give you baby?” He said, leaving down to you. “Tell me what you want Y/N.”
“I-...I-“
“You- you- you what teddy bear? Tell me. Do you want..me to stop?” He teased.
“N-No!” You cried out.
“Do you want me to slow down?” He asked.
“No!”
“Then? What do you want, baby?” He asked.
“Mm! I- I want you to fuck me Katsuki! Please! Fuck me with your cock!” You cried out and Bakugou’s fist came to a stop.
“Good girl.” He then pulled out his fist and quickly replaced it with his dick. You both cried out in euphoria. He wasted no time in ramming into you, using a quick speed. He held onto your hips as you velvet walls swallowed him in. “S-Shit baby! Fuck, after all that you’re still so- fuck! So fucking tight.”
His fingertips had a grip on your hips that was sure to leave bruises. The way he was pounding into you caused your breast to bounce and dance right in front of him. Not that it wasn’t anything Katsuki hasn’t seen before, but it’s the fact that he loves the scene so much. He licked his lips at the sight of your voluptuous mounds before taking one into his mouth. The feeling of his teeth sinking in had you gasping and your hands found way into his hair, pulling him in closer.
“K-Katsuki!” You cried out. He smirked at the sound and released you from his mouth.
“You don’t even know how good you look. How good you will look when I knock you up and fill you with my kids.” He said against your bare skin. This made your eyes pop as you looked at him in fear.
“W-what?! No! Katsuki! Please, I don’t want thi-“
“Shut the fuck up!” He screamed over you. He placed his hand around your neck as his cock completely took over you. “Yes you do! Don’t you remember baby? You always talked about starting a family with me. Now you can have it!”
“K-Katsuki..please! Please stop, this is rape!” You urgently whimpered. Bakugou merely ignored your cry as he continued his motions.
“I said, SHUT THE FUCK UP! It’s not rape if you enjoy it baby.” He said in response. He continued to touch you in the dirtiest of ways, bringing quiet moans out of you no matter how hard you tried to fight it.
“No! I don’t want it anymore! I don’t want you Katsuki!” You cried. Tears now flowed down your face in fear. You’ve always wanted a family with him. But that was before you knew how he truly was. Your words only angered Katsuki and so he punished you with a harsh smack to the face. Your head turned to the side as you gasped at the stinging feeling that almost felt like pleasure in a way.
“I’m gonna give you brat, and you’re gonna stay. You’re gonna stay with me and we’re gonna be a happy family! Because I love you and I know you love me.” He said. Your legs were growing weak as his relentless thrusts never stopped.
“P-Please. Please, I’ll stay. But I don’t want this. Not now.” You whimpered. At your soft voice, Bakugou slowed down the pace but his hard thrusts continued.
“Sorry baby, but I want this. I’ve spoiled you for too long. I give you everything under the sun and you reward me by trying to leave. Especially over such a small instance? I don’t think so. The least you could do for me is give me the family I want with you. Don’t you agree?” He sweetly said with malice intent.
You only continued your whimpers as you allowed him to do as he pleased. You weren’t getting out of this. Katsuki gets whatever Katsuki wants. If he wanted to fuck his child into you, he was going to do so, one way or another. Katsuki allowed his moans to fill the room as the once sweet sound of skin slapping grew louder and louder, coming faster and faster. Eventually, you reached your release and even squirted all over Katsuki’s chest. He very much enjoyed that and it brought him closer to his climax. He kept to his word and filled you up to the brim. You both threw your head backs and cried out in ecstasy.
Once he was done, Katsuki remained inside of you as he laid on top of you. He peppered your face in kisses as you continued to make soft sounds. You both remained on the couch for some time before he pulled out and walked to the kitchen to get a rag and clean you and himself up. Once done, he picked you up and brought you to the bedroom where he placed you down under the sheets and joined you. He cuddled with you in bed feeling happy and joyous while your head was stuck in thought.
‘If his plan worked, I’ll be a mother soon. There’ll be a baby growing inside of me.’ You silently thought. Bakugou snapped you out of your thoughts with a kiss on your lips before he began speaking.
“..I know what you saw on the footage was scary, but that’s not the only part of me. I’ve shown you every other me. The me that loves you and wants to be with you forever, Y/N.” He said and picked up your hand to give your knuckles a kiss.
“....I understand that your job isn’t the purest. I understand that sometimes, a life will be lost. But the video that was sent to me, showed you killing a petty robber. You took it too far.” You argued quietly.
“Tch. Whatever. He deserved it anyway-“
“And it’s not only that, but you’re the reason why I have no friends, no job, no money, no family, no nothing. In the beginning, it was amazing because I thought I knew you. But now, I’m just scared of you Katsuki and I have no one else to go to.” You began to get choked up. This was the man you loved but you felt like you didn’t know him anymore. Right now, in your eyes, he was a killer. A scary monster.
“If you left me, who would you go to baby? You’re absolutely right. You have no friends. No job. No home. You have nobody but me. You need me. Say it.” He demanded. You remained quiet to rebel against his wishes until he took hold of your face and squeezed it tight. To stop the pain, you forced the words out.
“I-...I need you!” With that, he released his hold on you and his hand rested on your cheek. He stared into your eyes and you looked at him with the sad and confused look you had on ever since he came home.
“I love you Y/N. Do you still love me?” He asked.
“......I do.” You said. A smile grew on his face.
“Then we can make this work,” he said and pulled you into his chest, holding you tight. You whimpered into his chest but nonetheless held onto him tight as well. You did love him. You knew you did. But you didn’t love who he truly was. Or at least, what part of him was. A killer. A murderer.
He was right though. You had nowhere else to go. Katsuki really was your everything. And so, you were going to allow this relationship to go on. His child will come from you and you will start a family with him. Whether you want it to happen or not. As long as he wants it, it’ll happen.
Whatever Katsuki wants.
A/N: THE ENDING IS SO RUSHED AND HORRIBLE! IM SORRY!
Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04
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starglow-xx · 4 years ago
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retrouvaille
nakajima atsushi x f!reader
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: hurt comfort, fluff
warning! : mentions of abuse
type of work: one-shot
synopsis: he left the orphanage, and that meant he had to leave you too; fortunately, this time, it seems like the universe was on your side
a/n: this is kinda self indulgent bc ive been feeling kinda down lately...?? and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and i havent posted in a while so killing three birds w/ one stone ig
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the word retrouvaille is a french noun...
The moment you stepped foot into the armed detective agency, heterochromia eyes met your (e/c) ones.
You notice several agents talking and walking over to assist you, but you drown them out only having focus on the gray haired male ten feet away from you.
Said male takes a small step forward with uncertainty and disbelief laced in his voice.
“(y-y/n)...?” 
At the sound of your name, your eyes immediately begin to water and with pure relief in your voice, you softly sob his name; the name of the boy who comforted you when you were both still in that wretched place.
“Atsushi...”
With all hesitation gone, Atsushi runs over to you shoving through his surprised and confused coworkers and wraps his arms tightly around you.
The force of the hug causes the both of you to stumble and harshly crash to the ground beneath you.
But the two of you didn’t care.
In his arms was a person Atsushi thought he’d never be able to see again.
In his arms was the same girl who snuck him food from the kitchens, the girl who stole medical supplies from the infirmary to treat his wounds, to take care of him when he was sick, and the girl who received punishment after punishment for insisting on staying with him inside his damn cell.
You gave him happiness in place where he should’ve never been able to receive it.
As if he ever felt like he deserved it in the first place.
You’re too good for him, but yet you still chose him.
You, his sweet and kind, his so very kind, and so very beautiful girlfriend, chose him, the cursed, good for nothing orphan.
The orphanage staff treated you considerably better before the two of you were acquainted, so Atsushi knew he was the problem. That he was the reason why tears would fall onto your beautiful face, why bruises and scars would litter your arms and legs, and why the staff would call you awful, degrading nicknames about you and or your virtue.
He had always thought that he wasn’t good for you, that he didn’t deserve you, that you could do better, but you stayed by his side regardless of his fears and insecurities, and provided him the strength and comfort he had always been deprived of.
And to his very surprise, he found that you found your own strength and comfort in him.
So he knew that you must of cried for weeks after he was kicked out, that you must’ve been devastated to wake up one morning only to learn that he was gone without a trace.
There wasn’t a single day that he never thought of you.
Atsushi wanted to go back for you, he really did; he wanted to storm into the orphanage with members of the armed detective agency, his new family, right at his tail before eventually reuniting with you.
But he didn’t do that.
Ultimately, he chose to leave you out of the mess that came with his job knowing that you would be eventually targeted and used against him if anyone found out about what he had with you.
So he kept quiet.
No mafioso, government agent, foreign organization, nor agency member had a clue about your connection with him, much less your existence.
He told himself that when things have calmed down by a considerable amount, he would go back and get you, with or without the agency backing him up.
Unfortunately, he knew that time of peace was far from the present.
But to see you, in your beautiful glory, standing at the threshold of the agency? 
His original plan to keep you away from Yokohoma flew out the damn window. 
At the sight of you, his heart did backflips and his legs almost gave out. 
Ignoring the jelly feeling in his legs and the loud pounding of his heart, he raced around the desks and his coworkers—nearly fully crashing into Dazai in the process—to once more engulf you into his arms.
As for you?
When you saw him, you felt like you were going to pass out.
Your legs grew weak, your entire body was shaking, and tears started to fall down your face.
He was here.
He was safe and he was alive.
You mourned his abrupt disappearance from the orphanage and spent most of your time worrying about his well being.
The staff thought you were pathetic, that you sulked and cried over someone who they thought should disappear off the face of the earth.
They could insult and beat you all you want, but you drew the line when it came to Atsushi.
Finally having enough of everything, you planned your escape.
You were patient; you never jumped the gun nor gave anything away. You planned everything to the very last, minute detail, and after a few more months of abuse and waiting, you put your plan into action and left in the dead of night.
Thankfully, a kind old couple took you after you had collapsed in the streets. You worked job after job after job to return everything they had spent on your behalf even after they had told you not to worry about it.
And after another few weeks, you finally caught wind of your lost boyfriend tracking him down to Yokohoma through an old newspaper article.
Knowing your boyfriend, and yourself, you knew that tears would easily escape both of your eyes due to the long duration of your separation, but you weren’t expecting to find yourself crashing onto the floors of the armed detective agency curtesy of Atsushi. 
But, you wouldn’t have it any other way because in your arms was the boy who gave you comfort during the most darkest days in the orphanage, the boy who laid you in his lap or on his stomach stroking your hair so you would fall asleep, and the boy who often threw himself in front of you so you would remain unharmed.
You choked on your sobs as you tightened your own hold on him and they gradually grew louder as you buried your face into the shoulder of his white button up.
Through his own choked sobs and teary eyes, Atsushi gently maneuvered the two of you so that you would be lying on his stomach—a familiar position the two of you would lay in back in the orphanage.
He gently stroked his fingers through your hair and softly rubbed your back as he whispered the familiar sweet nothings into your ears.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay...”
“I’m here, just let it all out..”
Overwhelmed with your emotions, his sweet words only started to make you cry more.
You’ve missed him so much.
Your tears easily soaked his both his shirt and his neck, and you tried to speak only for you to choke up. Atsushi simply just started to shush you—as you would to a baby—and placed a kiss to your forehead as he continued to comfortingly stroke your hair and rub your back.
With the both of you off into your own little world, a world consisting only of the two of you, reactions and looks from the Armed Detective Agency went unnoticed.
It didn’t take long for them to realize the kind of relationship you and Atsushi had.
But what surprised them was Atsushi’s behavior.
The young adult they knew tended to be unsure of everything, including himself, and stammered whenever he was nervous.
But the young adult currently in front of them had this new aura of maturity; he didn’t hesitate to touch you or to comfort you, and for the first time they’ve seen in a while, he was sure of himself; he wasn’t nervous at all.
With the amount of comfortability Atsushi had around you, and the tender, loving care he showered you in, it was clear that you certainly were someone special to their tiger.
Your sobs slowly turned to small hiccups, and Atsushi’s face turned to one of pure tranquility and content, having his lover back in his arms.
Although having calmed down, what Atsushi said to you next made you want to start bawling all over again.
“I’m sorry I left you, and I promise I didn’t forget about you,” he whispered softly, “I thought of you every day. I still do. The thought of being able to see you again is what kept me going.”
You buried yourself further into his shoulder as you gripped his white button up in your hands.
“And thanks to the armed detective agency, I’m stronger now. I won’t let anybody hurt you, not anymore. That, I promise you.”
Actually taking a look up from you, Atsushi ended up locking eyes with Dazai, who had a gentle look on his face.
His senior only closed his eyes, tilted his head down softly, and lightly chuckled before opening his brown eyes once more, giving Atsushi a look of approval.
The gray haired teen’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room only to be met with similar looks of approval and gentleness from his seniors and coworkers.
He felt his eyes tear up again, but instead let out a relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on you slightly.
“Hey Atsushi...” you softly murmured.
Equally as soft, he answered, “Yes (y/n)?”
“...I love you...”
Your lover smiled before placing another kiss onto your forehead.
“I love you too (y/n)”
At last, the girl he loved was back in his arms, and the boy you loved was back within your reach.
And neither of you were ever going to let each other go again.
and it means, the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation, a rediscovery
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as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3
writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason
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randomnameless · 2 years ago
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I’m mad on Billy’s behalf. Their background is so interesting but intsys shat the bed by making them into an avatar just because kris, corn and robin were. Their premise could have also been great! I guess I should’ve known better when merch started to include shit like the Tharja and Camilla statuettes because we know who those are marketed towards
Kris slaughtered a game to become its hero, Robin was the beginning of the end, and Corrin had some "avatar privileges" but the cons (for some) of actually being a character.
Billy is both the player-UI, sometimes a character whose consistency depends on your stance on the "uwu hammer" and has the pesky "avatar privileges".
At the cost of Billy themselves!
How to make a story centered on Billy?
I'd have focused more on their nature as a hybrid who wants to live and embrace their two heritages, the Nabatean one coming from Citrus and the human one from Jerry.
Yes, Citrus was a homonculi made by Rhea to house Sothis, and it didn't work, but Billy wasn't born because Rhea willed it, Billy's born because Citrus and Jerry sat under a tree.
Are they human, nabatean, the avatar of the goddess or something else entirely? The final answer would be "yes", they are all of those things, but most importantly are Billy.
Rhea would thus see Billy not as Sothis but as her avatar - but first and foremost as another Nabatean, a member of her family. Billy could exchange with other Nabateans and wonder why they don't out themselves as Nabateans, even meet Birdie and Turtle and learn their POV on humans - they think humans are children and Nabateans cannot live with them. Humans are always waging senseless wars, even if Rhea tries to guide them, they are hopeless and will always seek violence and strife.
As for humans? Maybe through interactions with students Billy could understand that what defines them could be something like "their will to move forward" even at the cost of peace and stability, and they'd feel closer to them after all, since they grew up with Jerry.
But if Garreg Mach exists, with both humans and nabateans, maybe some sort of coexistence is possible - a place without strife but where people can learn new things to better their lives home? A world without strife and a world where everyone wants to better everyone's tomorrow isn't contradictory
Flamey does their thing - encompassing the worst of "humanity" as derided by Nabateans, the need to crush everything and to war for no plausible reason.
Were the Nabateans right then, Humans cannot guide themselves and the World needs Sothis’s return?
Through the course of the game, Billy’s conclusion will be much like Rhea during her “Seiros the Warrior” days, Humans and Nabateans can live together and guide/lead Fodlan, it is not up to only Humans to do so (rip to Supreme Leader) or to Nabateans or to the Goddess (Rip Rhea), but everyone must play their part.
Rhea’s biggest mistake wouldn’t be to let states deal with their own internal affairs, but to have lost hope in a Fodlan where “teh people” can work together to achieve great things, thinking only Sothis can lead the land.
But when the inevitable “we say this now but who can say humans will not war again in 1000 years to destroy this land” comes, Billy, who has faith in Fodlan and its people, let them be humans or lizards, will insist that no matter what they won’t give up, and for one warmongering human out there, there will always be humans who will strive to restore peace and order, and it’d be their job to support and guide them.
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erimeows · 3 years ago
Text
Dreaming Of You
Rough, grey lips on his, large servos resting on his hips, and ruby red optics trained on his sky blue ones seemed to haunt Optimus’s dreams more and more.
Maybe it was some weird manifestation of the new stress that had come to his life since Megatron had been rebuilt, or maybe it was just the deep, dark desires he had for the affection he’d been craving for so many light years finally taking over his processor and giving themselves away to him in the form of Megatron of all mechs.
Either way, he hated it; the dreams. They were too risque and too much about a Decepticon he should’ve absolutely despised for him to confide in any of his teammates about it, but they were too incessant to get rid of, so he was simply... Stuck.
Optimus was sure that he was dying inside when he jolted awake on the living room couch, sitting straight up as his optics shot open. This dream had been particularly bad; something blurry about him and Megatron sharing a berth, him tangled up in the warlord’s arms and falling asleep against his chest.
Weirdly enough, he found himself craving that.
Due to the sheer everything happening on planet earth, he had been so stressed that he hadn’t been able to recharge properly, and all he wanted was another bot to lull him to sleep, maybe cuddle with him a bit and sing to him or tell him a story, but he didn’t have anyone like that, humans were too small and hard to socialize with, and his team was off limits since they were technically subordinates.
He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch until he woke up there, clearly panicked until his optics landed on Bumblebee, who was staring at him with a concerned look etched into his face plates.
Optimus knew that, considering the dream he just had, he probably looked like he’d seen a ghost- though that probably would’ve been better than what actually happened. Falling asleep on the couch had most definitely been a result of his exhaustion, because all he remembered was that one second, he was sitting on the couch to calm down, and the next, he was asleep.
”Optimus? Bossbot? Prime? You good?” Bumblebee asked, getting up and in Optimus’s face. The red and blue bot could only stand up and shake his head.
”Uh... Yeah. Definitely... Just don’t think I’ll be recharging for a while-” After realizing what he said, he quickly cut himself off with a sharp sigh before continuing again. “Never mind. I’m going on a walk.”
With that, Optimus left, ignoring any of the stares he got from his teammates as he walked outside the base, and walked, and walked. He didn’t even think about where he was going, simply listening to his instincts and allowing them to guide him. 
The walk had been intended to clear his head, but as he reached a weirdly familiar looking forest, he realized that his thoughts were only growing more and more convoluted, spark pounding against his chest plates.
Oh, shit. He was right by the Decepticon base.
Why would his processor- no, his spark, he could feel it- lead him here of all places? What the hell was wrong with him? He was almost certain that his exhaustion was making him go crazy.
Right when he thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, he heard a deep, smooth, baritone voice in his audials that made them twitch.
“Autobot... How did you find me?” When Optimus turned around, Megatron was just... There. Sitting on the grass, back against a tree, arms crossed over his chest and one leg crossed over the other in front of him. “Why are you not fighting me?”
That was a good question. Megatron was just staring at him, too, clearly waiting, ruby burning into sky blue, almost as if the Decepticon was challenging him with his optics, a smirk on his kissable lips. Optimus knew he should’ve either ran or tried to apprehend Megatron right there, but he found that he couldn’t even move.
Their relationship was weird. Even though they were sworn enemies, all Optimus could do during battle was stare at him, and Megatron did the same in return- it was almost as if there was some sort of draw that they had to each other, but as hard as he tried to resist it, it wouldn’t go away, and he was sick of resisting it.
“Megatron.”
“I feel as if I should be concerned,” Megatron mumbled, sitting up again and quirking an optical ridge. “You aren’t fighting me, but I also don’t feel inclined to attack you, and you seem exhausted... Do you need to recharge? I’ll be surprised if you don’t drop to the ground any nanoklik now.”
“Mhm,” Was all Optimus could give in response, able to feel himself grow increasingly drowsy with each second that passed. Megatron’s voice only made it worse, and before he even realized what he was doing, Optimus found himself laying on the ground next to Megatron and laying his head over the warlord’s warm thighs, optics fluttering shut.
It was wrong, and he was sure it would come to bite him in the ass, but it was also exactly what he needed. 
“What the hell... Alright. This is fine, I suppose, we can do this and then pretend it never happened... Just for a little while,” Megatron sighed and rested a servo on Optimus’s helm, gently petting one of the Autobot’s audials, and though it was a touch far more intimate than it should’ve been, he couldn’t help how his engines purred at the affection he’d been craving from another since he arrived on earth. “I could even tell you a story. Once upon a time, on a planet far away, there was a strong, powerful warlord with a cold spark, but that all changes when...”
And, as Optimus fell into recharge, he found that the last thing he heard was Megatron’s voice in his audials, lulling him to sleep- just like he needed.
When Optimus Prime woke up, he was no longer laying on the ground of the forest with his head rested across the expanse of Megatron’s thick thighs, but on the berth in Ratchet’s med bay, the team medic hovering around him, optics raking up and down his chassis.
All he could remember was sleeping on Megatron, but if he was in the med bay-
Optics wide, the Prime looked at himself up and down. No bandages, no wounds, no pain anywhere... Actually, he felt perfectly fine minus the lingering sleepiness, so why was he here?
“Prime, what happened?” Ratchet demanded, sitting down at the stool next to the med berth and scrutinizing Optimus carefully.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You stormed off base and everyone was concerned when you didn’t come back after a few hours, so we split into teams and came looking for you. I found you in that forest near the Decepticon base a day later, sleeping on Megatron of all mechs,” A day. He’d slept for an entire day, and his teammates had caught him... He could only hope and pray that they didn’t realize exactly what was going on with him. “So what happened? Did he incapacitate you or did you do it... Willingly? You were out for a while.”
“I uh... I don’t know how to describe it,” Optimus murmured, not wanting to admit that it was fully optional and that he’d given in to his newfound desire to have Megatron, if only for a little bit. “I was just so tired when I left. I don’t know... Don’t remember anything too clearly, I probably stayed in recharge for so long because I was exhausted. Actually, I still feel pretty tired, but is everyone okay? Did anything else happen?”
“Yeah, they’re fine. Megatron left as soon as he saw us, the cowardly dolt... It was weird though, that he didn’t kidnap you or try to attack any of us- you were asleep, and it was just me and Sari, so he could’ve overpowered us if he played his cards right. Maybe he was in a rush to get somewhere else.”
“Makes sense.”
And no, it didn’t make sense- nothing Megatron had done during the course of that made sense; not him being so kind to Optimus, letting him sleep on his lap, telling him a berthtime story, and sparing his teammates- all of it was weird and fucked up, and he found that he almost missed when things were simpler, when Megatron was nothing but a blown up body and a half-working helm in Isaac Sumdac’s basement-lab.
“I doubt that it’s anything serious, but I have a couple questions for you, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Go ahead,” Optimus tried to act calm, but his face plates were burning red and his vents were producing nervous crackles that were loud enough for both he and Ratchet to hear.
“Have you had any odd dreams recently during your recharges? Since Megatron got his body rebuilt, I mean.”
“Uh... Yeah,” The blue and red bot trailed off, gulping.
How did Ratchet know? Was he that obvious?
“Tell me about them.”
“I’d rather not-”
“Trust me, it’s important that I know these things. Medic’s honor, I won’t disclose what you’re about to tell me to anyone.”
“I have a lot of dreams about Megatron,” Optimus confessed with a sigh. Surprisingly, Ratchet looked like he was almost expecting that answer, nodding. “Mostly just meeting him in that forest or a berth, sleeping... Sometimes we talk and do other more unmentionable things.”
“I wonder...” The medic paused with a hum and tapped his digits against the med berth.
“Just what are you thinking, Ratchet?”
“It’s incredibly rare, but occasionally, when two Cybertronians who have a lot of chemistry encounter each other, they develop what’s known as a spark pull. It’s nothing like a spark bond- not even close, but it just means that the two are uniquely bound to each other in a way until they either bond or have a falling out that kills their chemistry. It’s like the soulmate concept that Sari and some of the other humans talk about in their romantic stories.”
“So... What does that mean? Am I going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to get rid of it?” Optimus asked, tilting his head. He was a bit panicked, as this was a whole new thing that he didn’t know how to handle, but at least there was a somewhat scientific explanation for his feelings instead of them just existing. 
“There’s no need to worry about it, Prime, you’re perfectly healthy minus the lack of rest you get- which you need to work on, by the way- but you’ll be fine. Unless you bond with Megatron- you better not- there’s no getting rid of it, considering that the two of you should already hate each other.”
“I, um... Symptoms? Are there any aside from what I already know?”
“There hasn’t been a lot of research done on it since bonding is generally looked down upon in Autobot City where all of our medical studies get funded on Cybertron, but from what I’ve seen and heard... You’ll intuitively be able to ‘feel’ where Megatron is when he’s in close proximity, have a desire to go near and look at him whenever possible, have dreams about him like you’ve already been experiencing, and going through a sort of physical and mental ‘weakness’ when he’s around- from what you’ve described, your weakness is just allowing yourself to be vulnerable and relaxed around him, which is actually quite common... Shame you can’t allow yourself to do that with who he is, but it is what it is.”
It was a lot to take in all at once, but Optimus found that he handled it surprisingly well as he stood up from the med berth and stretched his joints.
“Anything else I should know?” 
There was something new lighting his spark; a pounding, circuit-wrenching want that began to consume him. Now that he knew where his feelings were stemming from, he couldn’t help but want to interact with Megatron again, just to see if the older mech was feeling what he was feeling, and to see if he knew what was going on between the two of them as well.
His instinct was telling him to go back to the forest.
“No, that about covers it, so you’re free to go whenever... But Prime?”
“Yeah?” The blue and red bot looked at Ratchet, who was staring right into his spark, it seemed.
“Don’t go after him when you leave. I know you want to.”
“...Okay.”
Only, that’s exactly what Optimus did. The second he was out of the med bay, he was sneaking out through one of the hallway windows and running as if his life depended on it, passing through the busy city scenery of Detroit until he reached the more rural area that the forest was located in. He was staring at the ground as he ran so fast that his engines were revving with the force it took to keep him going, but he got so consumed in where his spark was telling him to go that  he bumped into someone-
“Be more careful, you insolent f-...” Megatron’s voice flooded his audials the second that the older mech’s arms were wrapped around his small body to catch him, pulling him against a hard, broad chest. Optimus looked up at the warlord, optics going wide and face burning bright red. Oh, it’s just you, little Autobot... How did you find me again?”
Megatron’s question was filled with confusion, those ruby red optics slightly squinted and full of uncertainty.
“I, uh... Do you know what spark pulls are?” Optimus stammered and earned a groan from the Decepticon in return.
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish I were, but no one else is here and that nap last time was the best recharge I’ve had in lightyears. Do you mind?”
“...I suppose not,” Megatron sighed and let go of Optimus, then moved to lay down on the grass and stare up at the clouds. Optimus, albeit a bit awkwardly, laid down next to the mech, resting his helm on his chest- right over the purple, glaring Decepticon symbol that he should’ve detested, but instead found himself cuddling into.
“Why don’t you finish that story you started the other day?”
“A-Alright, but only because I’m feeling quite generous today. As I’d been saying last time, once upon a time, on a planet far away, there was a strong, powerful warlord with a cold spark, but that all changes when he meets a kind, passionate warrior from an opposing faction. At first, the two are against each other, but the warlord quickly realizes that something about the warrior has caught his interest, and before he knows it, he’s falling in love...”
Before Optimus could pipe up and ask any questions, he was falling into a peaceful recharge yet again, dreams of Megatron already plaguing his processor.
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