#wish it were you

[ruminate88]

I made this mistake 🥺❤️‍🩹 I had my private photos posted on Twitter by a guy friend, Jake, and I was so mortified and humiliated, I remember just praying and begging God to make it all go away. I was so sorry for trusting that guy… well, I pressed on. I met Cody and he love bombed me twice before ghosting me!! Oh man, I didn’t even know what to think or how to feel. I was just stunned and didn’t even know how to understand or process. I moved forward and continued to put myself out there on dating apps….

Then I met Andrew, the greatest and most terrible person in my life. I was so numb from Cody and Andrew was the first to make me feel something. So for a summer I flirt with Andrew and at some point it wasn’t going anywhere and I should’ve got out but I was too attached already and knew I was gonna get my heart broken so I felt I had to stay. We started a “relationship” that fall when he’s back in college for his sophomore year!!!

we were together until his spring break. He has love bombed me and made me believe we were serious. I was ready at that point to tell my family about him but he asked me to wait…. 😝 he said “we need more time together and get to know each other more”. Basically he was just wasting my time!! I tried to get closer after the love bombing. I pushed and pushed. I told him so many times, “I want more of you. You act like you’re too busy to spend time with me.” He would PROMISE he’s gonna give me more and said I was his priority but clearly he was lying and I was stupidly falling for it… after 3 attempts to end the relationship and he doesn’t change, I called B.S. and realized not only would I never get to actually meet his parents, he was most likely talking to other girls the same way he’s talking to me. 💔💔💔 I broke up with him but he acted as if he broke up with me instead. 🤨 He was a robot and very nonchalant about the break up plus asked me would I remain his “friend”?? ugh!! I was in stupid trauma bond with him but knew nothing like that existed… so I tried to stay “friends” with him but he doesn’t want that. He’s only talking to me for my nudes and attention. He begins to post “his real girlfriend” on his IG to rub it in my face but also keeps trying to flirt with me. I delete my IG account and made a new one that didn’t reek of him.

I was in so much confusion and pain. The summer after I’m trying to stay no contact from him; he would call me from his work and listen to me talk but act like he “butt dialed me”. I KNEW he was listening. I was tired of crying to him and he doesn’t seem to care. Idk it’s creepy. I tried so hard to stay no contact. I downloaded new dating apps and met my husband. In less than 4 months after Andrew’s creepy stalking behavior, I’m in this new relationship and I need to heal but have NO IDEA still. I wouldn’t stop talking about Andrew and Cody. At some point my husband asked me to please stop and move on… wow. I tried so hard. ANDREW CAME BACK!! This time FaceTiming me but hanging up after a couple rings. He just wanted his name on my phone… he wanted to watch me suffer over him.

I blocked his number, per my husband’s request AND my husband FaceTimed Andrew and threatened him to leave me alone or else. Woooooow now I really do have to move on. A little over a year later, I’m married now. I NEVER stopped running to even consider what happened to me or that I had unhealed trauma. I was angry at my husband for no reason, super emotional and could cry at the drop of a hat. I’m disconnected and I’m physically sick. I randomly lost over 25 lbs in a couple weeks and everyone around me was scared. I tried to see a doctor but it was back during “covid” and I couldn’t get an in person appointment. I suffered and had no idea why. Also, I could NOT stop thinking of Andrew.

I would Google every day, “why can’t I get over my ex?? What’s wrong with me??” Never knowing what a “trauma bond” is or that I have trauma. Took me years of begging God for answers until I saw my first video on TikTok about “emotional abuse”. FINALLY but yet I didn’t know I had to heal. Another year later and I need to reflect on the past and talk about what happened but idk who will understand me or who will say I’m crazy. I made this account privately and I’m learning so much about myself every time I blog.

listen, don’t just keep jumping into relationships like I did…. Please take good care of your heart and soul ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 feed your soul daily with healthy and loving words. Talk positively to yourself. Honor your gut when you know things are off. I didn’t, I wanted Andrew to be the one because I was insanely attracted to him 😜 I mean, I thought he was crazy gorgeous with his sandy blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. (Plus an award winning smile) so I ignored my feelings completely and I paid for it in the end. 😓💔💔💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹healing is a process and so is forgiveness! Take it all one day at a time even if it’s baby steps ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Always, always take the time to sit with and process your feelings. Often we live through events that are major for us and afterwards we just keep going - we do not stop to check our breathing, our heartbeat, our mental state. A lot of situations cause a lot of difficult emotions and while it is ok to let them exist for a while, it is not ok to bury them. Make room for your feelings and thoughts, my love. Remember to reflect on your experiences and make sure to evaluate how you feel about them. Reflection is the key to truly knowing yourself, to truly healing yourself.

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[astraystayyh]

this post actually broke my heart.

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[ivvyela]

can’t wait to see billy sitting with the young avengers trying his best to ignore his loving ghost mom being an asshole in the corner

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[apollos-olives]

before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[jadeluz-official]

Betelgeuse and Lydia's Wedding - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

[dsmp-lainey]

despite its flaws, despite the mess it became, despite everything, dsmp truly will always hold a special place in my and so many others heart, and i think that’s what makes it beautiful. the love.

[adobe-outdesign]

there was a period of time during the early days of Neopets wherein they would redesign an older pet. in order to pick a redesign they'd offer a poll with a few different options, like this:

but during 2001—2004 they would do polls with several completely normal, similar-looking options and then one (1) just completely messed up option that they never acknowledged or explained

my personal favorite was the Gelert one

[bunnieswithknives]

What a blessing to meet someone like you With eyes as dead as mine, it's fine It's normal people things just to lie here in silence

Fanart of Changeling Timmy from @cubbihue's AU, please check it out if you haven't seen it already!

[transyashiro]

[sabertoothwalrus]

appreciation post for the second half of dungeon meshi where senshi clearly starts treating chilchuck more like an adult. and also how the two of them start looking incredibly married

[patzweigz]

watched treasure planet the other day and never realized this is how they credited the actors and lead animators... i love it. really emphasizes how the animators and voice actors are two halves of one performance