#I love this gay shit bruh

[roachesbf]

I have a question if Ghost would get more cocky since your also a cat or a cat deviant than what would happen if Horangi figured it out ? Would he get more cocky or just more touchy and more affectionate like he found out cause you the reader were sleeping like a cat in the sun in a private spot or maybe he sees the ears or tail you were hiding? Maybe your also a tiger what would he think about the reader also being a tiger ?

Tiger Horangi With a Cat Variant Reader

Artist @ Mr_not_null (twt.com)

The thing with Ghost and Horangi both having a cat deviant partner is that they now know you can handle their natural strength, along the fact you already understand specific social cues that was seen strange or weird to others. But Horangi finding out just ups this factor a shit ton!! He becomes an even more cheeky shit. He likes tugging on your ears with his teeth, giving them the occasional nibble just hear you yowl, and then give it little kitty licks to make it up to you.

He does the same thing with your tail and he’s so lucky he’s cute that you might let him get away with it. He’s just such a playful silly guy, commonnn you wouldn’t punch a playful silly guy now would you.

I’d also say Horangi likes grooming you, makes him feel domestic and cute. He’ll hold you in his arms with your back hitting his chest as he goes to town on your ears. He enjoys if you do it back to him but he likes having you like putty in his arms.

Cuddle sessions between the two of you is a mangled mess. His leg is over yours, your arms are tangled together, and he’s got his tail curled into yours. Anyone entering the room could hear just how loud the both of you are purring against each other in your own comfort.

Just relaxing the two of you like to go out and sun bathe, it’s exactly the same as my other headcanon except now you’re also just as willing to lay in the sun with him. But because it gets hot, instead of cuddling he just lays himself on top of you.

Horangi adores when he catches you giving him that closed eye squint. Knowing what it means it pulls at his heart strings and makes him want to gush all over you but he keeps a serious energy. Going back to the cuddling thing he’ll do it back to you and you guys are just rubbing cheeks against each other while purring AND DAMM ITS THE CUTEST THING EVER !!!

[bonnieisaway]

oh i'm supposed to believe that mike ross and harvey specter are completely straight heterosexual men with nothing more than platonic going on in their partnership but louis litt gets to say to donna "did the prom king and boy wonder split. did mike and harvey break up break up" fuck you they know what they're doing

[raccoonwxrks]

Saw someone talk shit about them so BOOM Atsulucy bitches ✌️

[bismuthx]

I love how ironically the baki fandom on tik tok and here on tumblr contrast each other

Anyway, this is for the entire fandom on tumblr, damn, I love you so much and every contribution you give to the fandom:

[wheezerblue]

[harrylights]

the only fun thing about being sick is the gender affirming voice without having to take testosterone 🤙🏻

[silusvesuius]

deux

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

[hazelfoureyes]

Do you think you could do a male version of the radioapple is the safe word? Or maybe just a gender neutral pronouned story? I adore it so much

of course! I am happy to adapt my stories whenever possible 🥺✨ sometimes I can’t but this one was an easy enough shift! didn’t tag the horny deer cult, this is the same story but with the hardware swapped out. Will tag in new pieces 🙏 warning; I almost exclusively watch femboy gay porn and it shows

The Safeword is RadioApple (Part 1)

(RadioApple x MaleReader)

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, male reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, asshole hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main

MINORS DNI BRUH

“Sir.”

Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.

“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”

“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”

But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”

With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”

“Daaad!” She groaned.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 

Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”

Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.

He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”

Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.

“Luci.”

Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.

It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.

Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.

You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 

Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.

That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.

No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.

For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn’t an issue.  Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.

Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.

“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.

Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.

“You can say no.” You added quickly. 

“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.

“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 

“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.

You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”

He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.

“You what now?”

His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 

“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed him.”

If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”

But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 

“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.

You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”

Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.

Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.

Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.

“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.

“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my boy.’

“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”

He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.

Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 

Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 

Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 

You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.

Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 

You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”

A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.

Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.

He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. Your own cock twitched under your robe at the feeling.

Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.

Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.

When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.

One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 

“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap. 

Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”

“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.

“Three’s a crowd.” 

“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, hole soft and ready for him already, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.

Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 

“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 

Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 

Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.

“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.

Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Your cock hard and bouncing with every thrust. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—

“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?

“See? He can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 

With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 

Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your tight heat. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 

When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.

Tempting.

But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 

He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 

Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 

Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 

Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 

Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.

Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your dick, now pulsing under his hand. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your g-spot with every kiss of his hips. 

You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your face tighten. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. His hands working your shaft, fingers ghosting over your balls and head with every stroke up and down. 

With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed, your own release sticky and already cooling under you.

Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 

“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 

Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”

With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed and stretched hole. 

“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 

Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide in and out of your with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 

With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your ass, teasing your entrance with every pass. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 

As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 

Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 

Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling dear. 

 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.

What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?

Your nails cut into his skin, and you were worried you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your bullied boy cunt got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 

Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 

You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 

Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 

As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.

Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.

He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.

Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would roll back, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so sticky wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 

It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.

Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.

Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.

The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If he needs you to stop, he’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever he can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your muscles clenched around him earned you a hiss.

He began to move again, the new position causing his stomach to rut against your returning erection as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 

“Are you sure he isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.

“Nonsense. Can’t you feel him? Or does he just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.

You unconsciously tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 

Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.

He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before, stomach lurching into your chest with the impact.

He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were covered in oil and cum, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock opening parts of you never before reached. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 

You could feel him spreading open your body, soft walls helpless to resist his raging member. The feeling of your silky boy cunt sliding along his cock, your tight hole gripping him, was driving him mad.

You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Wails that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.

A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.

An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.

The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.

As Luci became lost in the sensation of your body trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.

Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”

Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.

The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”

Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”

Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised ass.

Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.

Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.

Second, rage.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 

“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”

Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.

“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.

You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.

Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”

But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”

Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.

There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”

༻Masterlist༺

[isackwhy]

Hii could you do like nicknames the group would call their partner?

i am drunk!!!!! so yes. will do.

tgc n their pet names for their partners :3

isaacwhy

def a babe man. most definitely.

hun. baby. princess. ummmm

if ur a woman he’s def doing like the “my girl” or “my woman”

or “my man.” for the gays. happy pride month gang

my baby when y’all are cuddling

calls u my love when he wants a favor but u still cherish it

if u use a nickname (nickname gang) and he’s like jokingly annoyed at u he’s calling u by ur full name and u just sit there like

:O

but i feel like he’s use babe the most. simple. easy. yk.

softwilly

just like isaac,,,,i fear he’s using babe the most

or honey instead of hun

the occasional baby or darling idk

i feel like he’d use the really cheese ones as like kinda jokes but giggles when he notices u freezing and blushing at the use of sweetheart or something

comes up w something stupid like pookie bear rainbow sunshine and u just stare at him

larrycroft

NAH SEE NOW HES HEAVY ON MAKING UP NAMES

or calling u cinnamon apple as a joke at first n then it becomes normal

def calls u pookie. little bisexual.

texts u w half the texts ending in bae

but irl baby suffices most of the time

or angel when ur cuddling :)

bigt

another babe man.

babe is just so good.

or baby. lots of baby in a gentle tone.

will call u random shit but not like larry or nick does like he’ll remember u like something and be like my little peanut butter princess/prince or my sandwich sweetheart

he’s so weird god help him

i love him tho it’s okay

feel like he’s call u lovebug idk

yumimain

imma be honest i feel like he’s only use babe.

or maybe baby interchangeably

like extra simple w it bruh

or honey

i don’t see him using many pet names idk

[callmegaith]

The only thing ineffable bureaucracy showed me is how hyper focused this fanbase is at seeing one thing and one thing only and everything else is a result of that one thing

1) no, Beelzebub and Gabriel are not a straight couple. Nor is Crowley and Aziraphale a gay couple. Stop the non-binary erasure or go outside and talk to an actual non-binary person cuz clearly you have no clue what non-binary is "they're straight presenting" wtf? If you think that please give me your name so I can block you. Cis people, I fucking swear.

Reminder that Beelz used they/them pronouns btw. Sorry that Beelzebub doesn't "pass" for you, it doesn't make them any less non-binary. Not to mention it was stated and already IS CANON that none of them have genders. They're god damn demons and angels, bruh.

2) "it's Gabriel's and Beelz's fault that ineffable husbands didn't get their happy ending": no. It's their own damn fault for not communicating and Aziraphale's inability to accept Crowley as he is. Gabriel and Beelzebub put each other first. Y'all sound salty as hell cuz two people managed to work their relationship out and yours didn't work out. "But if they didn't get together---" y'all really saying shit like this??? Do you hear yourself? That's so sad. Wishing for the doom of one LGBTQ+ ship cuz the other fucked themselves over. THEY CAN BOTH CO-EXIST. And you know what? They will. Cuz Ineffable husbands is clearly canon, the story just wants time with them cuz they're the main characters, not like Beelz and Gabriel who were side characters so had their story summarized.

3) "that should have been ineffable husbands" no, cuz Crowley and Aziraphale aren't Gabriel and Beelzebub. They're different characters with different backgrounds, personalities, relationship structure, and different relationship dynamic in general. They'll get together in a way that fits THEM. And that way requires ups and downs that makes them finally understand that they're perfect for each other without the need for either of them to change.

4) Gabriel was such an asshole wish Crowley got his revenge and--- bla bla BLA : Crowley was happy for them. You hold a grudge over Gabriel that Crowley himself doesn't. Y'all worse than a literal demon. Smh.

Be happy for what we got and look forward to the future where ineffable husbands will certainly become canon and it'll be worth the wait. Don't tear down the LGBTQ+ presentation we got just cuz the main ship didn't get the limelight THIS TIME.

Let things cook, that's how writing WORKS.

But I'm just an Agender demi person and tbh? I would prefer if things took their time.

I love both ships a lot but I'm not gonna hold pitchforks over one ship getting a happy end and one still developing. Come next season, that happy end for Gaberiel and Beelzebub might not last. We DONT KNOW. Do we really need to sacrifice one for the other? Why can't we be happy to have both?

Just really think the vibe of the fanbase rn fuckin SUCKS and I'm not enjoying trying to go through the ineffable bureaucracy tag and seeing people complaining about how it should have been ineffable husbands or how it's their fault.

Okay? Alright.

After this imma start blocking ppl I swear. Just had to throw in my two cents.

[i-cant-sing]

tt au

ok so im just gonna write notes as i read,

Baris is always starting shit. that mf. starting off the chapter with him roasting tf outta reader, like ok my guy. u must think you’re all that and a bag of chips.

mihirmah MAKING READER CRY? or like , maybe all of them calling her ugly and how lowly she is , is finally catching up to her. that’s so sad :/

awe damn. my girl just got cornered, i hope she’s legally able to beat their asses w/o dying 😭

YES SHE SLAPPED HER ASS, STUPID FUCKING HOE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED

awe damn, not the scone to the face. this bitch crazy.

reader is TRAUMATIZED by baldwins attack , i think that’s another reason why people should STOP WISHING FOR HIM TO COME BACK!! that dude ruined her life and almost killed her.

Ibrahim asking y/n how he’s a slave? idk that is giving lovesick fool , cos? why u so interested 😏 u really listening to every word i’m saying and want to hear more 😉

Why is baris telling everyone we got attacked? TMZ much??

mihirmah and y/n scene, where y/n is all 🙄 ,,, ok sultana 😄 and mihirmah is like, that’s not my name 🥹 is so gay. that shit is so gay.

why r the moms calling for their sons? i feel really stupid. what’s happening ?

oh they both visited y/n ? OH I GET IT NOW!!! it’s cos they want their son to be the one married to y/n , since suleiman is so important and he likes y/n!!!

oh got dayum. y/n is getting her own personal chambers , she’s getting awfully close to the royal family 😏

ho-em-gee, Hurrem wants to murder y/n just cos of these rumors and doesn’t want her as her daughter in law??? at least Mahidevran is ok with y/n living. for that, i’m on mustafa’s side. just for rn, only cos i don’t want y/n in a bad situation

nawt y/n & baris actually fighting each other like sibilings 😭 i like how he clocked her on Ibrahim, 🤷🏽‍♀️ that’s all imma say about that

why mustafa say “finally” when y/n said she read all the books in their library? he like himself some nerdy girls 👹

omg brother and sister duo gonna get the girl? but for who 😏 cos that girl is Gay. she’s Gay.

ykw , it was wrong of me to assume mihirmah was going to be a good wing-woman , she’s laying it on THICK to y/n lmao

wow. i did not expect mehmed to be so romantical! “moon,” too cute! idk who i’m rooting for anymore!!

oh damn. mihirmah starting shit , and mahidevran is mad. bruh. when will y/n catch a break. also who is baris reporting to? hurrem?

i loved this chapter tho!! i feel like yandere vibes r already here with mehmed! mihirmah, is giving a close second. i just feel like mihirmah is giving some little gay vibes! or maybe she’s just a platonic yandere ? ugh watch me be wrong. that’s so embarrassing 😭 thank u for the chapter! it was scrumptious!!

i LOVED THIS REVIEW OMG BHFEBKWAHEHF TOO GOOD!!!!1

"Ibrahim asking y/n how he’s a slave? idk that is giving lovesick fool , cos? why u so interested 😏 u really listening to every word i’m saying and want to hear more 😉" AHAHAHHAAHAHA DEAD 😭

"why mustafa say “finally” when y/n said she read all the books in their library? he like himself some nerdy girls 👹" no no, he thought "finally, she spared me a look/gave me her attention"

"ykw , it was wrong of me to assume mihirmah was going to be a good wing-woman , she’s laying it on THICK to y/n lmao" girl she does not know how to be discreet because she's never needed to- what she demands, she gets. and she wants u to be Mehmed's girl rn 😠

[onceandfuturelesbian]

sorry not sorry but

they gave us the Once and Future King and Emrys ??

Courage, Strength and Magic ???

and it wasn’t gay ??????

no hate but gwen wasn’t involved in this shit. she was not prophesied. i love her but why the fuck ???? wasn’t it gay ???? like bruh it was gay

merthur was literally PROPHESIED.

idk what courage/strength/magic was but THAT SHIT IS CANON

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs reacting to Y/N asking them about their past

Warnings: None

Scout:

- Uhhhhh

- It was… moderate? He got bullied by his brothers a lot but they eventually stopped as they matured. It was moreso the people at school that gave him trouble. Causing him to become aggressive and “misbehaved”

- His mother loves him to bits. She still spoils and frets about him to this day. Occasionally you’ll see candy sent to him in boxes on his nightstand with sickly sweet notes like “I love you my little baby bear : )” it’s borderline embarrassing sometimes. She never scolds him too roughly and always seems to know what advice to give.

- He doesn’t seem too thrilled telling you about his past. He tries to recall positive memories, like during the summer him and his family would frequent the beach. He seems to have had more positive times with his school friends as well. Mostly playing cruel pranks on adults.

———————————————————————

Soldier:

- He hesitates. It wasn’t great. That’s for sure. He was fed pretty strong propaganda as a child which led to him to become radical. This gradually died out over time and he became less and less bigoted. “I KILL EVERYBODY EQUALLY NOW!” He announces proudly, woohoo! character development.

- He vividly recalls beginning to question his sexuality around his teen years and being in a military training program for kids who wanted to serve their country. Which of course led to him having frequent gay sex in his young adulthood. Bruh.

- He always sorta had… really weird trigger-happy tendencies. He taught himself to shoot guns from a young age even know everybody opted against it. He then blew up an entire village, mistaking it for “FILTHY SOUTHERN TRAITORS CONSPIRING A SECRET BASE!”

- Nonsensical war stories that never happened and the only reason they exist is to make himself look good. They make you laugh. He’s full of himself, trying to impress you.

—————————————————————

Demoman:

- Yikes.

- “I.. Really don’t wanna talk about it.”

- He tells you bits and pieces from time to time about how terrible being an orphan was. Let alone having parents who didn’t care about him.

- He hates wizards because of Merasmus now. So there’s that. Straight up will beat the shit out of anybody that even remotely looks like a wizard. He’s more rational when sober but still has a deep passionate hatred for magicians.

- Manages to recall a more lighter story where he blew up his chemistry teacher’s entire farm as revenge for giving him bad grades. That was fun. He tells you this while fiddling with the inside of one of his bombs. Evidentially trying to get it working properly. “Yah, well I’d like to see that lot see me now. He’d bust a bloody vein in his wee little noggin tryin to comprehend how his ‘worst student’ managed to get this successful at demolition!”

- If you ask him more he’ll just shake his head. Stating it wasn’t that important and the past is the past.

———————————————————

Engineer:

- It was actually really good. His mother and father loved him. They were quite wealthy though and it caused him to be bit of a little prick. He always got pampered and spoiled to incredible degrees and was always a bit mischievous. He mellowed out and became his humble modern self over time though.

- He used to snicker over the fence while watching his neighbor’s lawnmower spontaneously catch on fire. That may or may not have been the result of his genius.

- Went to a prestigious school for incredibly smart kids and visited his grandfather on certain weekends. His grandfather was a bit preoccupied with work though so he’d take him to RED/BLU and pass on his building knowledge by showing him how to do stuff.

- Was always a very creative and well liked individual. Girls felt out of league with him in high school and they’d always shyly giggle as he passed by. They were always too timid to ask him out.

- One would often forget that Engineer is a deathly mercenary like the others. He showed blood thirsty tendencies from day one. His family encouraged it of course. Because why wouldn’t they! His father was so proud of him when he killed his first victim.. aaahh those little mercs grow up so damn fast. Engineer would laugh as he told you this. Great.

——————————————————-

Heavy:

- He becomes very grumpy. Crossing his arms and looking away. He can’t bring himself to stay mad at you, though. He knows full well that people only assume the best when asked a question such as this. He doesn’t blame you at all.

- He’s rather straight forward with it, and doesn’t hold back. “Heavy’s entire family was sent to ice prison and had little money. Not a single coin to hold us up. So, naturally work had to be done.” He goes on about how he was the breadwinner of the family and had the burden of carrying his entire family on his back. “Oh! and my father is dead.” He adds.

- JESUS.

- This man seemingly could never catch a break in his childhood. He did nothing but provide, work, and take it upon himself to be an adult at an early age. Not having many friends. Even having struggled in college. Mother of god. An absolute trainwreck.

- He assures you he’s fine, and he takes comfort in knowing he managed to come this far in the first place. Let alone to such an older age. “Stupid little baby will become big and strong like Heavy, and he will show you.” He tells you lovingly. Stroking your hair.

——————————————————————

Pyro:

- Looks confused and slightly concerned of why you’d ask such a thing. As if it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was here and now.

- They’re clearly avoiding this conversation, and brushing it off. Instead they want to show you this horrific forest fire they made! They think it’s so cool. Watching innocent fishing dads burn alive is cool.

- Redirects you and insists you tell them about your childhood first. Is very polite despite not enjoying the question and by the looks of things it’s better off to just leave the question be for a bit. They really don’t want to talk about it. To very high degrees. (pun intended.)

——————————————————————-

Sniper:

- He was a rather lonesome child. Preferring to sit by himself and never really participate in activities. His parents pushed him to socialize but he never really got that great at it. He also sort of tormented the other kids whenever he deemed them too noisy or annoying. Throwing rocks at their heads. He got rather good at this due to doing it so many times.

- He’d play pretend by himself in the backyard behind his house. Occasionally his father would join in, but after school he headed straight to his treehouse whilst his parents were busy and shot at poor birds with a pop gun. Scaring them half to death. He’s play his little hunting game until sunset, to when his mother would call him in for dinner.

- His father found his games quite cute and taught him how to shoot an actual gun eventually for the purpose of hunting. Aaaand he’d live to regret that.

- He was always an outdoorsy kid. Going on camping trips and petting zoos. He had a soft spot for certain animals and got caught hugging and kissing the top of a sheep’s head. Awww. He was affectionate in his young age. (Dont bring this story up to him ever again.)

—————————————————————-

Medic:

- “Ohhohoh! What a silly question! It was awful.”

- Nobody really liked how much of a nerd he was in school. Despite growing up in a village with a rather long lineage of medical “professionals” (I use that term loosely) he went to a school outside his village. He got bullied on a regular basis and people dumped paint in his hair while he was outside reading.

- This of course made a pretty sensitive child out of Medic. He was prone to being a “Cry-baby” and “too sensitive” in his classmates’ own words. He was also a mama’s boy which didn’t seem to help the teasing.

- Medic took rightly by his mother. She was batshit insane. The most stereotypical mad scientist you’d ever lay your eyes on. She’d read him bedtime stories which were very complex university textbooks for some reason.

- He took a liking to all his mother taught him. Books of the cosmos, math, and other stuff. Especially the medical science that was strung about the village. He developed an incredibly strong morbid curiosity for anything that seemed off or strange. Wishing to understand the world around him as much as possible.

- He took a magnifying glass into the garden and studied bees when he was five. Theorizing their stingers could create a miracle cure (It couldn’t. His allergic cousin fucking died and Ludwig thought that was hilarious.)

——————————————————————

Spy:

- “Hey Spy, can you tell me a bit about your childhood?”

- Immediately cloaks away.

- Goes missing for like several days.

[amm479842356]

Timothee was never a very popular kid. He was always the kid that everyone either hated or liked. He was at the top of his class and on the chess team. Worst of all, he was made fun of for being gay. The jocks always thought it was funny to pick on him. He hated them so much. He was absolutely revolted by the thought of ever even being friends with one.

One day Timothee was sitting is in the gym locker room when the most annoying of the jocks came in, Jake. "Yo wassup bro" Jake said. Timothee had just made a B+ on his math exam and wasn't happy about it. "Go away" he said. "Oh we got a hero, now do we? We'll see how long that lasts." And with that, Jake whistled for his bros.

Timothee tried to make a run for it but one of Jake's friends grabbed him. "Where do ya think you're going, nerd?" He was forcefully sat down and the jock put leather restraints on his legs while another put them on his hands. Finally, a strap was put on his neck and with that, Timothee couldn't move.

He could hear the other jocks laughing. Jake turned the lights off and said "Night, bro." "Why would he say br-" and with that, he heard a loud hissing sound and when he looked up, he saw it. A gas pouring out from the ceiling. He started to get dizzy and right before he passed out, he felt a sharp jab in his neck.

When he woke up, he wasn't in the locker room, but in what looked like the Janitors closet. "What the fuck? Where am I? Wait, why did I say that, I know where I a- I- uhh I kno- I don't know".

Timothee went home and continued his night like normal. He got a shower the next day and while getting ready for a wedding, something weird happened. "Bro I don't know what to wear." Normally Timothee always picked out the perfect outfits, not to mention the night before. "Whatever, must have forgot." He put on his clothes and thought nothing more of it.

The next day. Timothy was at school and he had a quiz in Alegebra. He knew everything super well. "Ima fucking ace this shit. Huh? Why di- uhh whatever, I'm ready for this shit." Except when he finished, he got a C-. "Wait what!? I always get a- wait, I got a C. That's fucking good."

When Timothy went to gym something felt weird. Normally, he would sit in there all period but for some reason he wanted to get dressed, so he did. He took all of his clothes off and before he could put anything on, "Yooo dude wassgood?" said Jake. Normally, Timothy would've been disgusted to hear his voice but for some reason, he wasn't.

"Wassup bro. Bro? Why would I say that? What's happening to me? Wh- ats up?" Timothy had completely disregarded the fact that he said bro to Jake for the first time in his life.

"Come workout with me bruh" Jake said. Timothy had never worked out in his life but that didn't stop him from going. Timothy got in the weight room and suddenly all the lights went out and there were spinning spirals all around him, followed by the same hissing noise. He feinted.

When Timothy woke up, he was surrounded by all the jocks he once hated. "You're name is Tommy" said Jake, followed by a snap. Tommy didn't know why the fuck Jake would try to tell him something he already fucking knew.

Tommy didn't remember anything after that...

"You're iq is lower than anyone else's. You're straight as fuck bro. You love football, wrestling, and baseball, cause you play them all dude. Your dick is so long bro. You fucking hate school. We know what's best for you. You love to get sweaty as hell like real men. Your pecs are so fucking big. We're your bros. You got the tightest bubble butt ever dude. You only wear compressions clothing bro." Said all the jocks and followed by multiple snaps, that was it.

"Yo bro, what happened?" Tommy asked. "Nothing bruh, don't worry about it." Jake said. "Wow, you really need a haircut dude." Suddenly, Tommy wanted, no, Tommy needed to get a haircut, so he did.

From that day forward, everything about Tommy would change. The walls in his room went from being filled with posters of superhero's and books and science and math to posters of football, baseball, wrestling, and nude women. His interest shifted from school and chess to working out, getting sweaty, hanging out with his bros, and doing what coach said.

Tommy would never be the same.

[a-may-w]

Women and gay shipping in Anime

I just had a realization on why women seem to be the majority that ship male characters---women are able to put themselves in the female characters shoes. Let me explain. Often in highly popular male ships---specifically in anime for this post, including but not limited to Bakudeku, Sasunaru, etc.---the two male leads/rivals have an extremely close relationship and large portions of their lives, character arcs, and stories revolve around one another. Their is also more often than not a canonical female love interest the main male character gets with. The main male characters life, character arc, and story often doesn't revolve around the main female ones, but her life, character arc, and story revolve around him. What happens then is that the female love interest becomes second place to the other male lead. This alone is enough to justify why people ship the male characters as opposed to the main straight one, but the reason why women specifically often ship the two males leads because of this is because women don't want to put themselves in second place. To men, or really anime dudebros, the female love interest being second-place really doesn't matter to them. Their favorite male characters who they see themselves in gets to have his 'best-buddy' around all the time and gets the girl, because, duh, he deserves it. But to women, who often see themselves or can see themselves in female characters, wanting/watching her get with the main male lead feels sad. It literally feels like watching a friend from high school settle with their below-average high school sweet-heart. I don't want that for her. I want her to be an equal to the main character---a part that completes him, and in turn, a part that completes her. The main male lead and female lead often do not fill these rolls for one another. Do you know who does fulfill these roles for one another? Thats right, the two main male leads. Women reject the often unequal, heterosexual relationship presented to them in cannon and embrace the homosexual, equal, relationship that rarely ever happens. And its so bizarre because this inequality of relationships often occurs because of internalized mysogony authors hold towards female characters---like, what do you mean in order for my cannon straight relationship to be compelling I have to write a 3-dimensional female character that gives and takes from the main male character, I only know how to do that with men---but they ARE NOT gay. Or, even funnier, the authors did want to make it gay but couldn't so they just hinted at it a bunch. I'm looking at you Horikoshi and Masashi, I don't know anything concrete but I've heard rumors. I feel like this is also proven by the fact that when a female and male character are on an equal standing the amount of gay shipping surrounding those two is a lot less prevalent. Obviously it's still their because, duh, thats just how shippings work, but it is not nearly as large or intense as when the specific scenario I described above occurs. Like Kirishima and Mina (yes I know my only examples are from MHA), they are equals, and as such I have seen little to no argument against their relationship and a decrease in krbk work---which is also due to the recent MONUMENTAL rise of bkdk. Of course I know that a lot of shipping is due to fetishization and that this realization most likely isn't new or original but I have no one in real life to talk with about it with and want to get it out of my head. Like, why would I wanna watch a women settle for second place in a mans life, I already see that shit on the daily bruh.