#I love this couple ok?
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i'm on an itafushi kick and i am making it everyone else's problem
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM ok i just love them so much#thinking abt them makes my heart do this unpleasant clench-stutter-race#and i think thats love???? unclear#anyway they are not out of my system so have sketches i will exposure therapy myself into posting more rough pieces if it kills me#im beginning to think that one of the reasons ive been so averse to posting sketches#is the fact tht i havent allowed myself to play around with different strokes n textures so ! I Will Do That .#rough chalk brush my beloved dry oil brush my beloved uneven pen textures my beloved#but god i just. BITES them.#however . one complaint. when both parties in a couple have pointy hair n u have to make them realistically interact . pain .#>:( i know i love u triangles..... but u r pushing ur luck
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me when i get the opportunity to think about speculative biology and non-existent game mechanics in media i like
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#the candle creatures are revamps#i had created the idea for them years ago but i wanted to redo them slightly with new eyes#the “dark variants” of the mantas and birds are variants of them that have adapted for life in wasteland and the forests#and also#i like the idea of candle creatures that live in villages or within communities#that are sort of akin to strays that the whole community takes care of#means alot to me#this isnt everything ive been thinking about#ill make a couple diagrams about the large birds#yknow the ones from rhythm that we see once and never again. yeah.#they exist in my heart#anyway#skycotl#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky#sky:cotl#sky: cotl#thatskygame#speculative biology#<- i guess?#im having fun ok#im happy to answer questions about my thoughts btw!#might be answered on my main if i cant muster a doodle or something#but i love answering asks#so if ur interested id love to hear thoughts :)
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Little visit
#tloz#a link to the past#my art#this is a couple weeks old but my wonderful health has doomed me to sickness and so still no new art 😔#feeling pathetic and miserable today I just wanna get back to doing stuff and feeling alright...#link#anyway I love the little duck still#I kinda forgot if the stump started growing or if I just imagined that but oh well#I said little duck but it's way too big isn't it... this is little Link it's ok it's ok
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Yeah I was right and there was no way I was getting the rest of this done without making you all wait another month or two, so I just went to the next good break point. We're officially past the halfway point with Astarion though, so not too much longer before you actually get to see Rolan again!
Part 1 • Previous Part • Next Part
Full page format under the cut:
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 comic#I just really love Ember and Astarion's dynamic as well ok#He's who she canonly ends up with but the Rolan timeline is if Astarion had decided he wasn't ready for a physical relationship after all#in which case his relationship with Ember doesn't really change they just end up platonic life partners instead of romantic ones#that duo who everyone assumes are a couple because they might as well be but nah#hopefully gonna get to show off how Ember and Rolan work together once I get back to him cause I love their chemistry just as much#rolan x tav#tav x rolan#rolan x ember#bg3 astarion#astarion#my tav#sharky's tav#tav: ember#oc: ember#sharky art
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I just had an upsetting thought - what if Alison constantly visited the Ghosts and knew - when she was old and grey and had lived a life - that she was going to die, so she made sure she was in Button House for it?
Mike accepts it and understands her want to go back to the Ghosts, they’re like family, they’re always there.
But then it’s Mike’s turn to go and he decides it must happen at Button House too. He’ll see his wife again! Spend a couple of hundred years together & hey he can actually meet/talk to the ghosts now!
Only when he dies and he meets all the Ghosts, who are all excited to actually talk to him etc, he asks where Alison is, only to find that she moved on straight away.
He finally gets to see a part of his life that was so bizarre for him, so secret and hidden, part of his life where he only ever had half a story. And now he has that half but his whole world is still gone and he doesn’t know when he’ll ever see her again.
#one thing I love about ghosts#is that Mike knows about them#there’s no elaborate hiding it all away from him on Alison’s side#I feel like it’s so unusual for a couple to be so healthy that your wife can say she’s seeing ghosts#and your (eventually) like ok I fuck with that#and she tells him straight away too#ghosts uk#bbc ghosts#mike cooper#alison cooper#the captain#julian fawcett#pat butcher#kitty higham#thomas thorne#lady button#robin#humphrey bone#sad ghosts post#my brain is weird
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nothing new, just average skyrim experience
#tes#elder scrolls#skyrim#khajiit#oc: reino#that guy got raptured at least twice#appeared again after that and went straight up#a couple of days later my sister was playing and an already dead horse fell from the sky on a mountain and im like ah ok that tracks <3#i love skyrim so much#never change
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FUCK EVERYONE WHO SAID ANGEL WAS GONNA BE THE ONE TO DIE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT SILLY SPIDER BOYS GONNA LIVE FOREVER AND HES GONNA HAVE THE MOST SICKENINGLY SWEET SLOW BURN LOVE STORY WITH THAT STUPID GAMBLING CAT
#loser speaks#huskerdust#hazbin hotel#angel dust#husker hazbin hotel#i love them so much#i want them to be disgustingly in love#i want them to be so healthy it feels vile#i want them to take all the fucking time in the world slowly growing closer and trusting eachother until they get to a point where#theyre both like 'ok we both have known for so long but now we're finally both in a mental and emotional state where were good'#AND THEN I WANT THEM TO START BEING THE MOST IN LOVE COUPLE EVER#AAHWHGRIAHAVR#also fuck those who wanted nifty to die i fuckin love that weird creepy lil bitch shes psycho and i love that about her >:(
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Casual touches between Sol and Sunjae 💛
LOVELY RUNNER - EPISODE 16
#lovely runner#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#kdramanetwork#userlab#my edits#if anyone is wondering why the colouring is kind of all over the place it's because:#a) i'm all over the place#and b) my computer crashed while i was in the middle of this set ghjfkg just started glitching out of nowhere#[ the out of nowhere is actually me having around 40 psd files opened :))))) ]#anyway i say casual touches because they're not the big kiss or the reunion or the proposal etc#but i love that we got so many this episode they really felt like a couple (grown up too)#and also i liked that sol initiated so many because a lot of kdramas tend to have their fl shy away from that#but they're both playful with it#ok i'm done giffing now sorry @my pc#byeon woo seok#kim hye yoon#this isn't even all of them btw 💜#mine: lovely runner
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I find it funny that Wild, who has basically a couple years ish of full life experience, comes up with the most insane theories for everything
He assumed that the only other explanation to Four being able to split in Four was. That he was quadruplets who'd been hiding this whole time???
Also apparently he believed that his wolf companion Twilight in botw was a diety (and felt very uhh shocked upon finding out that he was not)
Malon made things worse, telling him about her aliens theory
What's even FUNNIER is that every time Wild expresses any sort of confusion at magic stuff that he's never seen before, everyone else in the chain acts like it's crazy for him to be weirded out by it
Honestly maybe Wild's the only one with his head on straight, rather than everyone else who are just like 'it's magic bro' like no he's right this is weird
I appreciate this because it's very considerate of the fact that he woke up with no memories not too long ago, so he doesn't have much experience to explain the stuff that's 'normal' for the chain. Plus the explanations he comes up with are funny.
:)
.
Art and comic and adorable character by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :D
#I hope this made sense I didn't edit much#linkeduniverse#linked universe#Lu wild#djdjdjdkdjdkckdkxkgg#the 'this is normal it's fine' chain#and 'why is this tree speaking to me' wild#it's just. I mean. I'd have some pretty insane theories too ok#he has no idea why someone could split into four but he has seen two identical twins at a stable once so surely that's an explanation#he's literally so smart tho. like creativity and stuff? being able to pick up on new skills and concepts? he's a genius. a very goofy genius#aahh for his age I said 2 years of life context because he says he's 117 + Jojo said Lu is less than a year after his journey#also mental memories maturity and time awake is all so complicated#so I just said a couple years as kind of a base number idk#(aaaaand if i said anything offensive im sorry of course and none of this is meant as a criticism of wild but I love his crazy theories)#everyone's thoughts matter so much and I love you guys /gen <33#:)#and. I like this and it's funny and fluffy but if my angst writers wanted to get a hold of this O.O
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Poppy and Ominis deserve the world thank you and goodnight
#poppy sweeting#ominis gaunt#poppy x ominis#hogwarts legacy#fanart#…yup I did it#ok but they’re so goddamn pure and deserve so much happiness#like having to overcome the expectations of their family and carve a new path for themselves#I truly think they’d make such a cute couple!#I was going to draw highwing in this but I can’t draw animals LMAO#believe me I tried…#I love them so much#such pure little beans these two
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finally finished ghost trick
#ghost trick#I CRIED OK I CRIED SO MUCH IN THE LAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS#im so emotional everyone is filled with so much love and the desire to connect and be seen#i love you sissel ghost trick#i love you lynne ghost trick#i love you missile the pomeranian who reminds me of my own dogs#ough the whole cast is so sweet i feel insane UEUEUEUEUE#i'm so happy they ended up with a happier present i can't get over it#shu takumi your mind needs to be studied#as a game it is also conceptually so simple and yet fantastically integrated into the narrative#the two buttons are ghost and trick like hell yea we're gricking out today babey#text
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whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
a/n: if you have stuck around and waited u are INCREDIBLE thank u so much for ur patience <3 esp cos i'm still testing it with my slowburn lmao + tell me what u think lovelies and as always, enjoy
word count: 4.1k
synopsis: Azriel's shadows find a new way to torment their master. The question of forgiveness follows you. Cassian gets you in the ring, testing out newly learnt skills.
CHAPTER TEN :: SHADOWS
Azriel is a spy by his very nature.
It makes sense; the gift of Shadowsinger is never bestowed so lightly so that it could ever leave any doubt of the user. Shadowsingers are spies, even well before their gifts revealed themselves. Always watching. Always listening.
It was, then, a tad against his disposition to keep his nose out business that wasn't his — as that was precisely what Azriel did best.
But his decision was resolute. Azriel had promised himself he would not be the first to break the distance between you two.
However, for a fae over five-hundred years old, it's quite unsettling to yet again feel the pangs of impatience. Years of practicing restraint and then, in a mere few months, his hard earned patent for patience begins to fray at the ends. You'll be his undoing, he's sure of it.
Like a young and fresh-faced warrior itching for battle, it's almost embarrassing how Azriel can't seem to stay away from you. His feet wander and all paths lead to you.
His shadows are not helping.
Azriel thinks they've managed to get more insistent, which he hadn't really believe was possible. They've proven him oh-so wrong. When he walks the halls of the House of Wind, the dark wisps dart out, as though trying to tug him along.
He had trusted them all of two times before, face flushed and with an ungraceful but thankfully unnoticed exit, he learned just where they were leading him.
They were following the invisible thread between you, taking him to see his mate.
When it became clear he wasn't going to be coerced along, his shadows had only got more devious.
It's a particular brand of torture, Azriel thinks, to be delivered little parcels of knowledge of the person he's not allowing himself to see.
And they're ruthless about it. Whispers about how you're healing and the growing steadiness of your feet, the way you stand a little taller each day, about the tentative trust extended to Cassian.
Gods, that one had made his hand jerk across the paper in surprise, spilling a patch of ink onto the report he was in the middle of.
You were talking to Cassian— no, you were nearly friends with Cassian. The magnanimous hope had ballooned within him before Azriel remembered to stomp it back down.
Mor had teased him for the black stains on his hands during dinner.
He studies them now, nearly washed away completely, before he lifts his head. In the cool air of dusk, Azriel surveils the training ring from the shadows of the door, eyes scanning across the balcony.
It's empty, as expected. The rising moon is his only company.
You've stuck to training in the mornings, of course.
He's relieved and disappointed all at once—then Azriel forces that disappointment out of his system with a frustrated huff.
He is not allowed to be disappointed. Your trust is something he still needs to claw his way back to, to earn, and that required waiting and accepting that.
Azriel would see you... when you wanted to see him.
Despite his resolve, the thread between you still gives a futile tug before he can stop it. Scowling at himself, he rubs at his chest meanly, banishing the feeling. He steps down onto the balcony and heads towards the equipment.
As his scarred hands reach out and pluck one of the training staffs off the rack, his shadows twirls and trill, an almost teasing motion. It takes one pointed whisper, one tug on his heartstrings —they used that one just earlier today— before his hands are glowing warm from the second-hand touch.
His fingers spring apart and the staff hits the tiles with a loud clatter. Even though it's just him out on the balcony, he still casts an awkward glance around him. Gods
If his brothers could see him now, Azriel thinks dryly.
He swats at the shadow that had unhelpfully fed him the information. It dances away from him, swooping down to circle the staff on the ground with its others, a mass of black surrounding it.
Azriel bends down and gingerly picks up the staff, his hazel eyes staring at it for a long moment. Where your hands have been.
After a moment, his fingers curl around it. His marred hands feel like they're glowing again, warm and tingling, even if he knows it's all in his mind. Even so, he swears the golden thread between you hums, just ever so slightly.
He'll allow himself this, just this once, Azriel decides. His grip tightens and he heads to the ring, preparing to train, his hands where yours were just mere hours before.
—
The day after you had met Cassian, as the dawn breaks over sky, you find him on the training balcony before you.
You're a little later than you'd normally be, the sun actually rising before you do. You're moving a little more sluggishly too, but for once it's for a better reason.
Sleep, normally light and fitful for you, had actually been a reprieve last night. You slept deeply, falling into dreamless slumber and resting properly.
When morning crept in, dragging your eyelids up had felt like a mountainous amount of effort. Part of you wonders if it's because of the male across the balcony from you.
Allies, you had agreed upon.
It's a little easier to rest when you've made one less enemy.
Watching him now, stretching his supple and bulging arms, you have to force down the instilled anxiety that festers up, a force of habit that's kept you safe all these years.
You're not in Exordor anymore. You're not keeping any secrets.
Cassian clocks your hesitant stance in the doorway as he turns, a wide grin breaking across his face. His wings perk up, a genuine sign of his excitement. He stops his stretching momentarily to wave.
"Morning!" He calls out, despite the fact the distance between you doesn't require him to do so.
"Ally." He adds pointedly, leaning over to give an over the top wink.
Somewhere buried deep inside you, a laugh almost wants to wriggle free, but it's smothered before you can think too hard. You give him a wry smile instead, the best you can manage, and take a tentative step down onto the balcony. Your wings give a tiny shiver in the passing breeze.
"Good morning," You manage to return, the words sticking in your throat on the way up. It's awkward but nothing in Cassian's friendly demeanor changes to indicate he's noticed. Your feet lead you over towards the weapons rack.
It's as you reach them do you realise your heart is rabbiting wildly, pounding in your chest, stewing you in discomfort. The hair on the back of your neck rises, prickling with unease. Your back is turned to a fierce warrior, one that could very well attack you.
And worse, you'll be training next to him, still not healed, still stumbling on your feet—revealing all the ways to strike you down.
You—you haven't done this, ever. You haven't trained with someone completely as yourself, with no facade to hide beneath. It suddenly becomes incredibly vulnerable.
Your hand trembles as you reach out for the training staff and you try your best to swallow down your nerves.
Cassian has kept his distance, resuming his stretches, but you don't miss how his eyes dance over to you every couple of seconds. For a moment, it alarms you but as you find a place and settle into your stance, you steal another glimpse.
It's more like... a dog wagging its tail, you think faintly.
You press down the urge to smile and begin your exercises.
There's all of ten minutes of silence before it gets broken.
"How do you like Velaris?"
You pause in your motions, huffing to catch your breath as your grip the training staff loosens. You cast a glance over at Cassian who's now picked up one of the broadswords, beginning to throw its weight around easily.
You blink and for a moment, your eyes dart out over the edge of the balcony, to the city teeming with life, so close and yet so far from you. A part of you aches fiercely to see it.
"I... haven't been into the city." You answer honestly. It comes out curt and doesn't exactly answer his question.
Eyeing his sword nervously, your force your aching muscles through another series of exercises. You're a sliver better than the day before but when your ear twinges loudly, you still stumble, a minuscule motion. Your heart lurches up your throat, frustration welling like a tidal wave within you.
"Okay, then how do you like the House of Wind?"
You pause again, looking over to Cassian tentatively, the pain in your ear momentarily forgotten. The rising frustration in you dissipates at the distraction. He waves a casual hand over to the house you've been residing in since you arrived in Velaris and smiles once more.
You swallow thickly. What is his angle here?
"I haven't..." You struggle to put your thoughts into words. It's... different. New. Unsettling. You don't want to say the wrong thing. For all you know, this may well be his home.
Eventually, you find your voice. "I like my room. It's—" Several words ping to the front of your mind. "—big."
You cringe. Some compliment that is. You're too honest even if it is true; you're far too used to the familiar cramped space of your own cabin. Even sharing walls with others is foreign to you and you're incredibly thankful you haven't run into anyone unexpectedly in any corridors yet.
It doesn't occur to you that it might entirely be by design, thanks to Rhys' strict instruction.
Cassian grins. "Yes, I recall Illyria being hardly known for it's roomy cabins."
He swings the sword around with a flick of his wrist, more like an idle motion than anything. Your eyes still flicker down keenly, watching for any threat, just in case.
"So, you haven't explored the house much then?" Cassian continues, feigning a stab forward with the sword, his eyes on his motions but his attention still focused primarily on you.
You follow his lead and swing the training staff again, in an arching whoosh. You shake your head in answer to his question.
"Do you want to?"
"Do you always talk this much during training?"
The words come out before you can think to check them, sucking in a sharp breath as you realise how snappy that sounded. Like you're looking for a fight.
You ready yourself to sink into a defensive stance, before you realise that Cassian has only laughed in response. A curl of his tied back hair comes loose as he shakes his head, the action almost... fond.
"Only when I'm trying to make friends." He grins warmly, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Sorry, I'll stop prying."
You swallow and nod slightly, hoping it won't be read as rude. Though you'd had a hard time believing it, Cassian had been true to his word; no fighting unless it was in the ring. You hadn't dared to go near it yet.
Readjusting your stance, you prepared to go through the motions once more. It's still a bit more of the juvenile exercises than you're used to—forced back to the basics as you retrain your body—but also because you're solitary training. You're used to sparring with others.
Stealing a glimpse at Cassian, you ponder if—if you might, eventually that is, train alongside him as you had done with Azriel.
Moving the training staff deftly, you thrust it forward and twist your lithe body to dart forward again, a small patter of your feet on the stone.
It's maneuver used for rushing opponents, throwing them off their balance and driving them backwards. It works for you, mostly, but the way your wings cut through the air, the slightest whistle through the holey scars, makes you a little unsteady.
"You fight like you're bigger than you are."
Straightening up, you breathe heavily and peer around the edges of your wings back at Cassian—who apparently isn't done talking at all.
He nods to you, in reference the maneuver you've just performed. "That is a move usually far better suited for someone of a larger stature."
You clear your throat, wings curling in a bit closer around you. "Yes. Azriel, he- he was trying to rectify that. There's only one way to train Illyrians, as I'm sure you know."
Cassian nods again, lowering the sword to hang at his side. "That I do. However, I feel Azriel may have been taking the wrong approach given... the information he was not privy to at the time."
Your brows knit together, something wrong twisting tightly in your chest.
"Because I'm..."
Female.
"Not a male?"
The words come out sharp without meaning to.
Cassian's picks up on your defensiveness, his expression softening. He gives a little so-so motion with his free hand, his wings rustling behind him. "A bit, but not for reasons you may think."
When you don't speak, he continues, his explanation unfurling.
"Your centre of gravity is different to ours. That actually changes the best way for you to fight. More of your strength comes from these—"
He slaps his hands down onto his thighs with a grin.
"—than from your arms. For that reason, there are moves you will be better at than what you've been taught."
Cassian cocks his head, his dark eyes squinting for a moment, deep in thought. "Azriel likely switched your training to agility based, didn't he?"
You nod gingerly. You had no idea if what he was said was true. If there was a fighting style suited to females. That would require... female warriors which, for all you've ever known, is a highly unlikely thing to exist.
Though, being he is the General of the Night Court's armies, you'd likely assume Cassian knows what he's talking about.
He nods, that same easy smile. "He was right to do so. Most camps focus on brute strength and stamina. Makes for good warriors that can take hits and keep going. You can train that way if you still wish but you might find you excel when your efforts are put elsewhere."
It takes a long moment before you realise exactly what his words mean.
An offer. He's offering to train you, to teach you.
Pleasant surprise blooms inside you, warm, curling up behind your ribs like a purring cat. Cassian's eyes are light and friendly, his body language relaxed as though if you turn him down, it'd be of no consequence to him. Merely an offer.
You turn it over in your mind, back and forth. The gentle wind from the mountains caresses across your cheekbones, a warm touch.
Inside, deep in your chest, there's something telling you to trust. To take the step forward, to accept Cassian's outstretched proposal. That you might regret it if you didn't.
"How?" Your eyes skirt up and down on instinct, still on alert for a threat that isn't coming.
Cassian grins infectiously, not even attempting to hide his glee. He rolls his shoulders back and assesses you once more.
"Have you ever heard of the headscissor takedown?"
—
Flesh hits stone, a large shuddering bang that echoes out the courtyard. In the distance, a couple birds take flight, squawking loudly. Pain ricochets through your knees, a warbling and jarring pain that has you gritting your teeth.
"You're..." Cassian's breath comes out raggedly. "Incredible!"
He beams from where he's pinned beneath you and your pain dashes away in a moment, something gleaning and prideful taking its place.
There's a rivulet of blood under his nose, his hair knocked loose, and you know hitting the ground as hard as he did won't have been nice. He continues on as if he hasn't.
"That was perfect form. You're a Cauldron-born natural!"
You huff a breath that might be an actual laugh this time and quickly retract yourself, standing to your feet. You waver momentarily, hesitance poisoning your thoughts, before you decide. Holding out your hand to help, Cassian is quick to put his hand in your own and use it to lug himself up.
When he gets to his feet, his grip loosens but he doesn't let go altogether.
"Hey," He says, more serious this time. His fingers around your wrist, soft and warm, still make your pulse jump nervously. You force yourself to meet his gaze, still friendlier than ever. "Seriously. You're very skilled and you're a fast learner. You've got the makings to be lethal. The Night Court is lucky to have you on our side."
His hand slips back, grazing your wrist, and you wonder if he can feel the way your heart skips a beat.
No one has ever been... lucky to have you. It's so foreign that hearing someone say it aloud makes you forget to breath for one long second.
"I—" The word pushes out before you think about it. "That's... You-"
Praise is not a part of Illyrian training. You fumble with it, feeling entirely out of your depth, feeling oddly proud of yourself. It feels like your cheeks are warmer than usual.
Cassian chuckles, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. "You're welcome." He says pointedly, making you realise you're supposed to say thank you after someone compliments you.
You flounder for another second, making Cassian laugh again, louder this time. He reaches forward and lightly taps you on the shoulder, a faux punch.
"You'll get used to it." He says. Part of you really, really wants to. "Now, c'mon. Let's go again. Hit me."
—
You think that now Cassian's got what he wanted—the two of you training together, learning the plethora of new moves, stances, blocks he has in his repertoire—he wouldn't have anymore questions.
You're sorely, sorely, wrong.
Two mornings later, the pair of you prepare for some sparring with the swords in the ring. Cassian's purposefully picked one of the heavier ones for himself, broad and long, but he'd put aside a blade for you.
It's smaller, lighter. It reminds you of Heartstriker.
Which reminds you of Azriel.
The mere thought of him has your heart humming, miserable and elated all at once. You're still not sure if you'd like to see him just yet, the confusing twist of betrayal too fresh, but still, some part of you seeks him out, consciously or not.
You want to wander the halls until you find the door to leads to him.
It's because he was your first friend. You reason, as you step up towards the sparring ring. He was the first person you trusted. Was? Is—maybe.
Do you still trust him?
Cassian is already in the ring, waiting as patiently as he can. His rustling wings give him away, even as casual as he looks leaned up against one of the corner posts.
His wings are stretched out, towards the sun's rays that are just beginning to slip over the horizon, trying to steal some of their warmth.
A yawn slips past your lips. The night of restful sleep was an outlier it seemed, the tendrils of a calming, easy sleep stolen away just as quickly.
Fingers curling around the hilt of the short sword, you step gingerly into the ring, eyes casting across to your opponent. You roll your shoulders back, warming up the muscles a bit more, and give your own wings a little shake. A shiver wracks through you in response, the chill of the morning touching on sensitive scars.
"Is there a particular reason Azriel is avoiding you?"
Your head snaps up at the sound of Cassian's voice, cool and calm.
He hasn't shifted, though his wings are tucked back in now. His sword is still relaxed at his side, his worn hand tucked around the hilt of it freely.
The usual chattiness that Cassian has been able to coax out of you these last few days shrivels up. Azriel is avoiding you? You hadn't wanted to see him but this—something curls up inside you, sour and foul. You swallow hard.
"I hadn't realised." You murmur, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into your words.
Cassian blinks and seems to realise his mistake. He waves a hand dismissively, as if it can scratch away his last words. "I misspoke. I believe he is... keeping his distance."
He furrows his brow, face pinched, picking his words carefully. "For your sake." He adds.
You... don't know how you feel about that. On one hand, you're relieved. It's not by pure chance that you haven't seen him yet, it's purposeful—he's keeping out of your way, giving you peace.
On the other hand, something twined in your chest pangs sorrowfully, mourning the distance between you.
While Cassian's presence as an ally (or perhaps, you'll even admit, a friend) is comforting, you'll admit it does not fill the same shape in you as Azriel does. You miss him, quite terribly so.
"What makes you think he's avoiding me?" You ask.
Cassian gives an little shrug, his head tilting to the side just a bit. He smiles in a way that tells you he knows more than he lets on. Or maybe, he simply knows Azriel far better than you do.
"He usually trains in the morning." He explains nonchalantly. "He's taken to training at night since your arrival."
You frown at the new information. You don't want Azriel to be changing things for you, to bend and warp his routines in his home, just for you. You don't want him to avoid you either, even if you're beginning to think you might never be brave enough to face him.
He left you. He was your first friend and the betrayal of that is entirely too new— but you don't know where to draw the line.
You don't know for how long you're allowed to be upset — or how long you can let this go on before you're punishing yourself just as much as you are him.
Flexing your grip on the sword, you stare across at Cassian and when you open your mouth, the words tumble out with warning.
"He..." Your breath hitches.
Something awful hooks into your chest, remembering the way he had folded himself into shadows, away from you. The look on his face.
"He left me. When I needed him more than ever." You admit.
Your voice doesn't waver but Cassian can still see the slight tremble in your shoulders, rolling in. Your eyes have dropped to study the floor of the sparring ring, seemingly lost in the memory.
Cassian's face softens, his heart aching for you. You don't even notice how your own wings have begun to curl in, a soft, comforting blanket around yourself.
It's clear you're struggling to juggle the myriad of emotions that haunt you and he gets it, Mother, does he get it. It had been hard the first time, during those first tentative months of friendship with Rhys, before Azriel was even in the picture. Cassian had one emotion that served him any purpose and that was spite.
Spite kept him alive. Spite told him who to knock down and who to put down.
Friendships and spite are not the greatest combination. When Rhys had done something Cassian had vehemently disagreed with, it had felt like a deception, stinging as badly as the backhand from Lord Devlon, sneering the word bastard.
It took time to undo the messy tangle of emotions, to learn that not all betrayal fell into the same box. That forgiveness for some people was not weakness at all.
So, Cassian asks. "Did he come back?"
You glance up at him, eyes flickering with emotion at the question. After a moment, you swallow and say. "Yes. He did."
Cassian nods. He stretches his wings out a bit and reaches up to push a stray piece of hair behind his ear.
"Alright. How long do you intend to punish him for that mistake?"
You freeze at that question and Cassian can tell he's hit the right spot. You're unsure how long you should—because all you know is that you're hurt. And when you're hurt, you don't know any other way to deal with it.
There's only one pathway ingrained for when someone hurts you. Cassian realises suddenly, Mother help him, that he must try to be good at the talking side of things. He needs to show you there's other ways you can go.
"Because," He continues, not waiting for your answer. "I can assure you that Azriel will punish himself for far longer and far harsher than you ever will. I've known my brother a long time. If there anyone who understands the gravity of his actions and will torture himself over them, it's Azriel."
A hesitant expression shutters across your face, your brows furrowing slightly. Cassian doesn't need Rhys' daemati gift to understand the conflict that's battling within you.
"You think I should forgive him."
You don't pose it as a question. A little bit more of that iciness has bled back into your voice, on guard again.
Cassian can tell that, like him, you don't take well to being told what to do. That's fine; Cassian has no intention of doing that whatsoever.
"I think that is your decision entirely." Cassian says, letting the words breathe so they truly sink in. He watches as your eyes narrow momentarily and then your shoulders relax, sinking down an inch.
"But," He says gingerly. "If you avoid each other, you might never move past this. Might never move forward. It might be worth considering what you really want at the end of the day."
The sun has properly broken across the mountain ridges, no longer just sparse rays. You turn your face, facing towards the warmth. There's still that scrunch between your eyebrows, betraying your deep thought, but Cassian has said enough for now.
He moves his sword and taps the end of it against the stone, a soft steel ping grabbing your attention. You whip your head back to face him and Cassian grins, raising his sword.
"Enough talking. More fighting."
You smile, a little hesitant but entirely genuine, and raise your sword in response. That's one thing you're sure you know how to do right.
tags below!
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover
@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco
@iamjimintrash @maendering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee
@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13
@bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa
@fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5
@rhysandorian @laughterafter @brieftriumphnightmare @hirah-yummar @some-person-somewhere
@scooobies @sfhsgrad-blog @cherry-cin @bookloverandalsocats @megscabinetofcurios
@doodlebugsblog @landofpetrichor @acourtofdreamsandshadows @florabelll @tanyaherondale
@aomi-recs @letmejustreadthanks @problemfinder @sevikas-whore @doodlebugg16-blog
@meandmysillywriting @justingnoreme @krowiathemythologynerd @hanatsuki-hime @sunny747
@coffeebeforewater @kalulakunundrum @marina468 @moonbirde @yellow-birdy @sheblogs
@shinyghosteclipse @randombibitch @itsjustwinter @emryb @books-all-the-way13
@thatsassyhufflepuff @nerdyalmondlawyerauthor @lilah-asteria @rcarbo1 @bobbyisbored
@historygeekqueen @roseodelle @assriels @rem-ie @storiumemporium
@lovingkelj @itsswritten @breadsticks2004 @marina468 @sapphena
#MORE CASSIAN HELL YEAHHHHH#just a couple of besties who love to fight <3#also azriel! even if there is no interaction there's azriel in this one!!!#sorry the pining must be done. there must be PINING#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger x you#wtssf#azriel fic#azriel acotar#whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#whom the shadows sing for#sloane writes#also i put out that poll and then was like ok this thang is already 4k. we must split it#but trust the rhys interaction is gonna be GUUUUD#also the chapter name!!!#is not about az's shadows! tho it is a fun lil crossover#but u know how you shadow someone.....#that's them rn <3
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fate spins along as it should, its part 10 (!) of horribile bg3 memes i drew on paint
part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15
#I love the one with astarion laying on the gorund I feel it in the deepest depths of my soul#in first picture my bard tav Melodic Black Metal they/he pronouns#ok bye ily theres at least a couple more post coming#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 text posts#bg3 memes#astarion#shadowheart#karlach#tav#bg3 tav#bg3 bard tav#bg3 oc#tavstarion#tav x astarion#karlach bg3#astarion bg3#Shadowheart bg3#Melodic Black Metal bg3#Melo posting#bg3 posting
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
#It’s ok they do get in touch again and he prob at least lives to 40#Alright I’m ready to be normal about chilchuck again#Spoilers#I guess?#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meijack#chilchuck’s family#meijack chils#Web weaving#alcoholism#cw alcohol#webweave#A couple more i liked are like a rearview mirror we’re not as close as we appear line and this french one from#Kristina Gauthier-Landry that goes like hands full of trout running up to you / look what i caught look / how much you love me#And this other one about chocolate coins that a dad arriving from work in middle of the night gives the happy little daughter running up#And it’s so anticlimatic and about transactional relationships and oughh ough it’s a good book#I am Chil is a complex absentee father truther sorry. Idc go see my analyses if you want don’t argue w me here#posts for which i am the target audience#Oh oh another one : So were we close? Or was it just the big things that held us together and the small things that let us fall apart?#The word father rotted in my mouth#Bc it’s left there to rot get it get it………..#Sigh. Like father alike daughter#I’m a truther that she’s more like her mom demeanor wise
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actually jeff and britta are fucking great together okay. they're both terribly emotionally immature and the definition of toxic. i hate them so much. they base their entire personality on the way others perceive them (britta wants to be seen as good person, jeff wants to be seen as cool) but when push comes to shove they always back each other up. they're both losers and fucking pathetic and they have the two most fragile egos in the whole group. they're absolutely ridiculous, they can never feel compassion or empathy in a natural way and they're actually awful fucking people. i love them so much. i need them to be together forever but in a quarantine sort of situation
#mine#not to be taken seriously#jeffbritta#sorry im just saying my opinion#opinions#jeffrey winger#jeff winger#britta perry#community#community tv#anyways#i just really love toxic couples ok#they're very stony coded btw#britta is steve jeff is tony#i can see this so well#oh my god
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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