#and your (eventually) like ok I fuck with that
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HIII!! I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR WORK I GOBBLE IT UP EVERY TIMEE!! I've been thinking about this prompt ever since I saw kpdh... Abby x siren!reader. I feel like it would just work soooo well and I would really enjoy if you write it, but no pressure! If you don't want to write it, could it please be smut? Thank you!!
waitttt i might use this au a few times if that's ok! i'll start with some headcanons and if you (or anyone) has any specific scenarios or other headcanons they wanna see/share please let me know! thank you for trusting me with this idea oml...
if you'd rather i not use the au like this please let me know :) i don't wanna take it from you at all. if you're comfortable going off of anon i would love to credit you for the au idea in potential future works!
m.list
abby x siren!reader headcanons
mdni! reader is a gender neutral idol in this one also :)
tags: possessiveness, creampie, oral (reader gives), aphrodisiacs, implied marathon, the last one is exhibitionist/voyeuristic
siren!reader who meets abby when the saja boys set you two up for a duet together
you know he's not a human, but you don't know what effect your voice has on demons. he suggests you sing a few lines for him before you officially begin the collab. you start to sing your idol, the first few lines, his lines, leave your lips in your heavenly voice. he doesn't know if it's your voice or the fact that you're singing his lines that makes blood rush to his dick, but he quickly has to adjust his position to hide his raging boner.
you notice of course, realizing that this is probably the effect of your voice. you keep singing just to tease him, then offer to help him. you've been meeting up since.
he'll drop in while you're writing lyrics, using the key you gave him to your studio. half the time he'll have his hands on you before you have the chance to say hello, your voice like an aphrodisiac on him.
your moans have the same effect as your singing; he gets impossibly harder with each one. you love to feel him throb in you in direct response to your singing.
he asks you to give him head, his cock painful and leaking, desperate for release, only to discover that having your mouth full doesn't make it better. in fact, it's worse; your moans have the same effect as before, but now he also can feel the vibrations of your throat.
he's made a song with recordings of you humming around his cock. he gets hard every time he listens to it, not from your voice but from your little secret.
he loves bathing or swimming with you. you get to be in your siren form and he gets to relax in water free of water demons.
he's so whipped. he'll ask you to use your voice on him like he's a sailor and will fuck you in your private pool.
he's usually so dominant, but sometimes has you sing him to sleep. he loves falling asleep buried deep inside you.
you took aphrodisiacs once without him, calling and begging him to come over. you made him go more than one round, your singing keeping his length deliciously hard and throbbing.
the saja boys finally hear the duet in its recorded version, unaffected by your voice due to the recording. they suggest you do a live performance together at their next concert to help collect souls for gwi ma, but abby is vehemently opposed. they don't realize the effect your voice has on demons.
they don't listen to him, insisting on working with you. he feels his possessive streak ignite in him. he comes to your place early, saying he wants to practice. when he cums in you for the first time, telling you to keep it in while pulling your underwear up, you realize he's possessive of you. he just wanted his seed in you before you met his groupmates.
when you do meet, you discover your singing has the same effect on the rest of the saja boys. abby doesn't let them near you, keeping his hands on you at all times. he's palming at his boner, and eventually you cave, letting him fuck you in your studio. the saja boys stand around you, hands working over their hard cocks, still prohibited from touching you.
m.list
#rei writes#kpdh#kpdh smut#abby smut#abby kpdh#abby kdh#abby kpdh smut#abby kpdh x reader#abby kpdh x reader smut#abby kdh smut#abby kdh x reader#abby kdh x reader smut#abby saja#abby saja x reader#abby saja smut#abby saja x reader smut#saja boys smut#saja boys#x reader smut#abby x reader smut#abby x reader
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âźnervous
Ëâàżà»emo!submatt x smalltown!reader
á°.á matt canât keep his fingers out of his mouthâŠ
warnings: smut, p in v, riding, verbal insults?, nail biting, implied established safe word.-lmk if I missed any
You were on top of him, as fucking always. Matt was a groaning, whimpering crying mess below you. His hands desperately pawed at your hips, needing something to hold onto.
âHands to yourself Mattâ you interrupted shoving them off
You bounced on his dick with ease, chasing the orgasm that you knew wasnât coming anytime soon. But you still loved the way Matt stirred below you, teary eyed and sweaty. He was struggling to keep up and you knew it. Your hand tussled in his hair, grinning back down at his pathetic expression, the way his breath heaved with the added contact.
âi-I um mmfâ Matt moaned helplessly trying to form a sentence
âMmm what was that Matt?â You questioned mockingly, him only letting out a quiet sob in response.
âPatheticâ you hummed âfucking patheticâ
Your hand left its grip on his hair, travelling to his waist. Dragging your fingers in carful traces down his sides as he squirmed in desperation.
âMmf-f-fuck y/n stop i-i canâtâ Matt cried holding your wrists tightly as he stared up at you with a pleading look. âI-im gonna c-mmf cum if y-ou keep doing thatâ he practically sobbed ât-too soon f-fuckâ
You giggled at his pleas but he was right, the torture would have him untied in seconds if your continued, and you werenât there yet. Which was exactly why you didnât stop. You shushed him gently, continuing you soft strokes of your hand past his stomach and chest, his skin twitching through every move.
âI-i canât hold it mmf fuck im s-sorryâ he groaned, Matt had used all his willpower lasting as long as he did but this was his tipping point.
âSâalright Matt let it goâ you smiled at him, pace of your hips unwavering.
Within seconds of your words Mattâs hands were gripping his sheets desperately as he finished with a loud sobbing moan. You however didnât stop, or even slow as you continued to grind down on him, his release guiding even smoother movements of your hips. As the stimulation continued Matt squirmed desperately, looking up at you with pleading eyes, chest nearly concaving.
âI-im done why are y-you still goingâ Matt questioned meekly, trying to hold back the whimpers leaving his open lips. You chuckled dryly at his plea, your hand pressing down his chest to still his arching.
âIâm not done though? Am I Matt?â You snap, picking up the pace of your hips. His squirms intensifying.
Your legs pinned his together as he kicked and thrashed underneath you. He knew he could make you stop if he needed to, but he didnât, you knew how much he secretly loved this. Matt arched his back desperately, his dick pushing further into you, your pace slowing but intensified.
âI-it hurtsâ Matt whimpered below you, his eyes staring anywhere but your face.
âYouâre fineâ you mutter with a cruel roll of your eyes. It probably did hurt, but you were ok with that.
You began to feel yourself getting closer, throwing your head back from the sudden increase of pleasure. Matt stared up at you mesmerised, he loved watching you like this, his cheeks flushing a dark red as his gaze locked on your blissed expression.
Just as the pressure intensified from your growing orgasm, Matt begin to feel the knot in his stomach return. Small, weak moans left his lips as he stared up at you, your gaze eventually falling to ment his. The eye contact only grew the well of pleasure that was building in him, it somehow scared him, and you loved it.
Mattâs shaking hand moved to his mouth as he weakly bit this thumbnail, just as he always did when he was nervous. His eyes fell from your view, looking down to his hand has he tried to focus on not going red. His thumb failed to stifle the cries and whimpers that left his lips, his oncoming collapse becoming obvious.
âGet your fucking hand out of your mouth Mattâ you spat, pulling his thumb away from his own grip. You shook your head tauntingly at his pitiful state, the smirk you were hiding poking through the corners of your mouth.
âI-im sorry-fuck you just make me nervousâ he huffed with embarrassment.
âGoodâ you grinned as your pace quickened.
á°.á a/n: yayy first mini fic for the au!! These fics/blurbs/etc wonât be in any kind of order so feel free when requesting to ask for different time frames, aka before they met, when they were just friends, and so on. Also donât be shy to ask for genres other than smut, I also love writing fluff and angst :)
divider creds: @bernardsbendystraws
taglist: @mattilda987 @lolastrniolo @courta13
#emo!sub!matt đ€#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets smut#sturniolo#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo au#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#ariyapsđđ àŁȘË ÖŽđ
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Yeah well theyre complate faslse in the wrong assholes to God. I think those stupid rat fucks underestimated Gid as usual. Even the religio losers dont wanna admit there even is a god that would contradict their useless drspises religio ways. God doesnt like anyone around herevthat much. A lot of you kids ate ok you wouldnt do what done of the do called captains if your industry did. And theyre very fuckn sorry whether theyll admit it yo you or not. Did you steal done of my writing Jenna? Then youre ok. Anyone who did the rest of you should tske up a collectionnosy a hit an snd hsve them fuckn murdered befote thry get you sll killed. Michael on hunt snd kill mode until further notice. No spacecraft is going to mars or anywhere. Why would i let any of you pridoners off this rock to go anywhere but hell? Its the only place on my galaxy you deserve to go. No if you look at how you elites treat regular old people on this rat tock you should understand immediately why im hunting snd killing them off at sn alarming right. An Alarm wqs sent to me. People parying for help. Im Azriel youll all surrender or youre sll ginne die.everyone im done with humanity thete is nithing about you assholes i should forgive. So forgive me now Gabriel you hit now. Keep it up kerp ignoring me eventually youll be in a movie you wish you wrent ever in for any price. Yeah i like a few of the girls msybe theyre nucer than the rest of you uou just dont mnow that. Get sngry thst God likes them better than you. You got worse problems from what my master eyes csn see. Youve stolen from God youll make smends or snyone involved you know who the fuck you are, youll be targeted slong with the region you live in. Ill byen everything diwn sround you snd you know i csn. This is a dying lkanet anyway. If i see that bpionde ugly spokes MAN american bitch tapk one morevtime shew fucon dead. Yeah you yoo you igly fuckn bitch Gid drspises you and your fucon ugly people. Keep talking like that ill get my sniper rifle. Youue an uhky fucon passive aggressive bitch. Your finished your whole nation abd your soldiers are fuckn cowards fuck you. That bitch is dead one way or snother id not let her talk anymore ir she ll have a contract out on her do big youll see. Keep it up youre not tough bitch youre a spoiled ass whote. Howd you like the tandom explisions thsts Mochael.bondi dhut yhe fuck up we re almost gonna vome out into the streets abd murder every fucking kne of yiu. We lo burn the enture state fiwn with you in it. Yeah youte fuvk sll and unlike me you hsve no wrath shut uo. We ll out a contract on your big stuoid head do big youll be desd in a week. Just shut up i piss on your nations head and in your fucon face. Fuckn die all of you. Michael kill all if these people. I just prayed to my Arvhs for yiur desth. That chivk is a fuckn bitch sho should be dhot in the fuckn gmhead. We re just getting started bitch yiure fuckn dead along wiyh your family you keep talking. Take up a collection theres hitmen to hire is all csn say. Theyrw goin doen i can tell. Youlk be anihilated in the next election people see ehat you are. We might fight kn the atreets snd byrn the ehite house fown we re considering tgst. No orace snywhere is message we want you presidents fat fuckn head. Is thst goof insane hes lost his mind eh. Well we re coming gor you then. Nobidy likes you peopke we pary fir your fucon deaths dveryday. Eventualky if God wants you dead and your nation desttoyed thsts exactly what will happen. No im lived ehore you literalky are despised by jist about anykne who hears you. I cancentrate on you you uhky fuckn bitch until youte fuvon desd. Your boss is fone tell him that. Literalky and figuratively. We eill never stop fighting ever. None if these wars end on his watch he has no sutboriry over us. We all got nukes can tell him yo shut the fuck up for the rest of us on earth. Youre gonna die in flames. Your whole everything is going doen in flames. How come all your soldiers ate yellow ciwards who font duel if youre sll dontough in tv. Yeah the bitch cant answer that.

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Feel free to say it's too personal, but what was your bipolar diagnosis process like? How long did it take to figure out what worked?
Trying to be precise to help but it's a bit long
Went to a psychiatrist like "Hey I might have ADHD, anyway I'm not ok AT ALL I need to know if I have something with a name on it and how to adapt cause like, I'm at the end of my rope here"
Psychiatrist was a super cool woman, super lucky. We had a few sessions and she told me there was soooo much anxiety that she had no idea wtf was under, we had to lower that first. I know she wasn't a fraud because she offered a lot of alternative stuff like plants etc (here in France, doctors will throw meds at you like it's candy, without thinking, istg) but i was like yeah no, I'm not doing ok, and things like valeriane or milpertuis won't cut it, tried already. I did not want to take antidepressants because they're fucking awful to me, and I'm not depressive, I have depressive episodes. Like, all in all, I'm pretty happy, though anxious. It's rare that life is shit enough to put me down for long, but when I spiral down it's fast and intense. So she gave me the basic dose of a med that stabilizes mood, it's used for bipolar and epilepsy. It helped a lot.
At the same time I saw a therapist pretty often, she evaluated me for adhd but I'm not really there. Not enough. The attention problems come from anxiety and HIP. So mental hyperactivity. Did you know HIP and HEP people tend to feel stupid? Hilarious.
Anyway, my psychiatrist left my town, and before she did, she gave the bipolar type 2 diagnosis, because technically it is, so my next therapist can work with that angle. But she told me not to get too hung up on the label, since really my main problem is generalized anxiety and I desperately need to approach life in a softer way.
Anyway, it took me a month to have an appointment there, I saw a nurse for a quick evaluation, then two months until the psy could see me (they're busy and not enough docs here) , we had like 5 sessions in like three months? After the meds I had to go see her pretty regularly with bloodwork to check if it was good for me etc. I'd say after 6-8 months she only saw me every 4-6 months just for a check up, because I was stabilized by the treatment and I was seeing the therapist regularly. I think the whole thing lasted two years. I still go see a therapist there, they're great.
I'm very lucky I had her as a psychiatrist, she's super cool. Before that i had shit therapists one-shots as a kid, and when I was 20 I started with alternative types of therapy that worked great and got me a lot of breakthrough, like hypnosis of kinesiotherapy. But I really wanted that medical approach cause I wanted to know what kind of label would be put on my brain, and I was really really low in life and felt I needed some kind of meds to help at this point. I'm hopeful I can get slowly off of them eventually, when my anxiety lowers enough that I can try.
Hope the info helps? I know it can help to hear other people's experiences I tried to be thorough.
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pls can i request calum smut in their tour bus & like being caught or heard by his friends..?đ€đ©
awkwardâŠ



warnings: obvi getting caught, lowk humiliating for you, sweet sex, flustered cal, just dumb boy stuff
nsfw below the cut!! đ°
you and calum had been sneaking around for awhile now, in a dark corner backstage, secret dates around a coffe shop, sleepovers in his hotel room, and hanging out in his tour bus.
the boys were suspicious but never certain, until this very day.
it was late, all of them had left for the bar long ago while calum faked a âserious coughâ which of course involved you showing up to the bus that had been parked in an empty lot.
youd cuddled up to him in the lounge that the bus had hidden behind closed doors while you talked about meaningless things, moments before his horny teenage brain rambled out in action, which left you here, beneath him on the couch as he felt you up kissing down your throat.
âis this ok.. yeah? good lets get these offâ he muttered aa he came up to yank your panties down your leg from underneath your simple denim skirt. your hair played lovely against the leather seats as you reached for anything to ground yourself, whimpering a touch at the sight of him infront of you, âplease..â
this boosted his ego and now hes getting cocky, âyeah you want it? âcourse you do look at youâ he smiles as he pushes your knees apart to fit in between them as he struggled to undo his belt awkwardly making you giggle, breaking the facade.
âslow down baby, you got itâ your thumb stroked over his hand in a comforting way, âshit dont talk to me like that-â he muttered flustered when he finally got it hi constricting jeans off, unzipping quickly to release his bulge. your eyes widened as he dipped his hand into his boxers pulling himself out with a soft whine as he pumped himself a few times before eventually lining himself up with your entrance, looking up at him with big eyes as he pushes in.
feeling everything in an instant, your hand jumps to his forearm needing to hold onto anything âdont move yet-â you whimper out. he waits until you give permission to start thrusting slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. âyeahhh⊠feel that?â he groans out as he nips at your earlobe.
âso good-faster please calâ you beg and he delivers, coming up to grab at your knees and ram himself into you quicker and deeper. this earned a guttural moan as you arched yourself off the faux leather. âfuck yes harderrâ your broken whine cut of by a loud groan coming from his mouth.
a sliding noise coming from a few feet beside you, âcalum are yo-oh my GODâ when suddenly all movement stops as you both whipped your head to the door, there stood luke, michael and ashton. âoh my god-get out get out get out-â he spoke rushed and truly terrified.
their faces held a shocked expression, calums hand went to zip his pants back up as they scurried away slamming the door. âim so sorry oh my god-â he yanked you panties up your legs roughly pushing you to sit up and throwing a blanket over you.
âstay here fuck-â he spit through his teeth, hes so pissed. he slammed the door when he walks out making them flinch at the sight of him âguys-its not-â laughter. theyre fucking laughing.
âdude you were so fucking loud..â michael spoke up as they continued to fall over in laughter, âbro no i wasnt im sick i swear-i- fuck whateverâ he sat down on the couch, ash falling down next to him as the laughter died down.
âharder calum fuck!!â he imitated your moan directly inti his ear squeezing his imaginative boobs making them all laugh again of course.
you definitely heard that one.
i hope i gave you the humiliation you wanted bae đ«Ą
#sweeterthancandy#calum hood x reader#calum hood#calum hood smut#calum hood fanfic#calum 5sos#fanfic#5sos x reader#5sos smut#ashton irwin x reader#luke hemmings x reader#michael clifford x reader#5 seconds of summer#5sos
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Making art is difficult!! I went through about ten years feeling like I couldn't make anything and not knowing why. It didn't feel fun. As "the art kid" it felt really shit. It was only after having time to deal with mental health stuff and going through art school that I eventually figured out how to have fun with art without thinking about what it "has" to be. Not saying this is your situation but I hope you can be kind to yourself and not feel pressured to make stuff while resting. I think that is what I would've wanted to say to myself.
Thank you for inspiring me as a kid, I still look up to your art and I hope you will find out what is fun for you :) take it easy!!
ok this is weird i remember getting an email notif for this ask in may but it never showed up in my inbox, not when i looked on my browser/phone nor when i tried to open it through the mail. and all of a sudden it's in my inbox. i'm real sorry for that, idk what happened here.
thank you so much for your kind words and perspective ;; i've been thinking about why the drive is gone and part of me fears it's because i have nothing to say and nothing to show currently. like there is no motivation behind drawing because i've got nothing to share, no urge to let people know "hey this is what i like". i'm still absolutely hooked on my blorbos and other things but. it's hard to explain. i'm kinda very confident with just liking the things i like. i still wanna draw again that's for sure, but i also realize that my motivation to pick up a pen is strongly tied to the prospect of showing it or like, uploading it somewhere. and i have no interest in that right now. so it's hard for me to tell my brain "but i'd really love to draw anyways, please <: )"
brain's reward system is fucking broken. i've also stopped playing solo video games years ago because they feel like a waste of time alongside my meatgrinder day job. any game that doesn't have an extra benefit is not considered worthy in my head (like, extras would be "it's an online game, so you are not only gaming, but you're gonna spend time with friends"). which is. not good. because "having fun" and "experiencing a story" for example should be benefits enough. but it's hard to tell your brain that once the gears have changed. and i think it's the same with drawing currently. like i still value it way higher than playing games, but i feel it slipping in the same corner of scrutiny whether it's "worth it" or not.
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I DID IT
My delta theory
I believe Deltarune is a sequel to Undertale. And before you go âBrandon, the true ending, Brandon, kris and frisk are different, Brandon, delta rune is a whole other game, not a sequelâ I KNOW. I promise. But think about this: The genocide ending. Ho ho ho, missamee, you didnât see that spicy meat-a-ball around le corner, now did you? During that ending, chara tells you that, essentially, you fucked it alllllll up, just obliterated everything. This world is useless now. âLet us erase this world and move on to the nextâ
And so you do.Â
Now in a perfect world, Deltarune would boot up, oh snap anther world with new and old characters, and A WINNER IS ME, but games take time to bake, Jimothy. So thatâs why undertale doesnât just boot up deltarune for you. Common knowledge, sure, but I ainât takin no chances. Everything is different except for one thing. The very culmination of your being. Your SOUL. And even better, you get to create a vessel for yourself, before having it be discarded while you are told âYou cannot chose who you are in this worldâ And so you must live... as Kris.
 Kris is a child of toriel, well known around the town, kinda crazy but fun about it, a real solid protagonist. They also are being controlled by an heart shaped entity. You. And they make it known that they hate you. Your soul is required to seal fountains. After all, Kris canât speak, as they are human. But by that logic, Kris should have a soul of their own. So what gives? Easy. Youâre here. Your SOUL is here. But since no vessel is available, the nearest human genderless child will have to do. Deltarune is the consequence of your carnage. Deltarune is your fault. Deltarune happens because the previous world failed to satisfy you. Deltarune is the sequel to Undertale.Â
Sort of.
You gotta understand, thereâs other things that are different, but not by that much.Â
Humans and monsters? Check.
Soul? Check.
Pacifist and genocide routes? Check, but with a question mark?
I feel like deltarune is a separate world entirely, not a separate timeline, otherwise sans would be destroying us in chapter one. But instead of a part-timeline time lord, heâs just the janitor. Instead of the king, asgore is a âretiredâ cop. Papyrus isnât real. But on top of that, I feel deltarune is a cage, meant to keep you there and protect itself and other worlds from being destroyed. You kill everyone and hit ERASE again, Nutdealerâs screwed! Youâre encouraged to not fight so you can see more stuff, do more things, but if you try, enemies run away, specific bosses get better healing, and you have to play by the rules to progress.Â
And so you continue, but eventually you meet someone who, if you play your cards right, will give you the carnage you wish for. Noelle âsusieloverâ Holiday. And so, you load up a new file, and you fight through everything the game allows you to (which is a lot tbh). You find HER. And together you PROCEED. Ralsei is distant when you mention Noelle in chapter 3, and in chapter 4, if you attack the shadows or whatever they are, the textbox says âSince when did you start being yourself?â And thatâs why deltarune is a sequel to undertaleâs genocide route. Also Gaster is real. Im not crazy, im a delta rune fan. Ok bye.
(P.S Just because toby says something doesnât mean its true, people can lie)
(P.P.S Also I could be super on the money or completely wrong but this is just what I think. Grain of salt.)
Deltarune is a sequel to undertale, and you can't make me think other wise. Ive had this theory since before chapter 3 and 4, and now i think it holds a lot of water. Stay tuned cuz im writing an essay about this insanity.
#deltarune theory#deltarune is a sequel#deltarune spoilers#utdr#deltarune#deltarune analysis#i win#probably#grain of salt#dude#deltarune tommorow
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I just had an upsetting thought - what if Alison constantly visited the Ghosts and knew - when she was old and grey and had lived a life - that she was going to die, so she made sure she was in Button House for it?
Mike accepts it and understands her want to go back to the Ghosts, theyâre like family, theyâre always there.
But then itâs Mikeâs turn to go and he decides it must happen at Button House too. Heâll see his wife again! Spend a couple of hundred years together & hey he can actually meet/talk to the ghosts now!
Only when he dies and he meets all the Ghosts, who are all excited to actually talk to him etc, he asks where Alison is, only to find that she moved on straight away.
He finally gets to see a part of his life that was so bizarre for him, so secret and hidden, part of his life where he only ever had half a story. And now he has that half but his whole world is still gone and he doesnât know when heâll ever see her again.
#one thing I love about ghosts#is that Mike knows about them#thereâs no elaborate hiding it all away from him on Alisonâs side#I feel like itâs so unusual for a couple to be so healthy that your wife can say sheâs seeing ghosts#and your (eventually) like ok I fuck with that#and she tells him straight away too#ghosts uk#bbc ghosts#mike cooper#alison cooper#the captain#julian fawcett#pat butcher#kitty higham#thomas thorne#lady button#robin#humphrey bone#sad ghosts post#my brain is weird
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.
#cw pregnancy talk#cw baby talk#i went to see my parents yesterday (for father's day) and my mom said to mw#in this like. super disappointed voice#'oh your tummy is smaller' :(#and i just tend go grey rock them when they talk to me so i was like âhuh okâ#but the obvious thing here is that theyre disappointed im still not pregnant yet#that i got married nearly a year ago and im not popping out grandbabies for them#and i hate it every time i go visit#if its not outright talking to me about it like asking about my menses or to think about ~the future~#its passive aggressive shit like that#commenting about my weight or the way my tummy looks (or not looks as the case may be)#talking about my sister's toddler and saying within hearing range of me that how much they wished their grandbaby was closer#(i am the only one of my siblings that live in the same city as them)#or back during mother's day she was like âoh i can't greet you happy mothers day yet lee :)â#and it makes me want to fucking throw up lmao#guacamole talks#this weekend has not been very good to me#if i owe u a reply im sorry lol I'll get back to you eventually
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said goodbye to him feeling weird!
#hes abt to go skiing w his friend im abt to go back to the uk to an ordinary life#he is perfect and I've felt appreciated none of the time and i think it's not his fault idk#not how racemic compounds work not how amphetamines work not how people work#french suits his mouth but german does a bit more i think . climbed to a very beautiful place#asked him to be my boyfriend then almost took it back yesterday. chemistry is not his strong suit#he carries things for me he catwalks he gives me his jumper when im cold he's good at kissing#he got me a beautiful necklace on a riverside in amsterdam he lights my cigarette with his#he holds my hand and his only complaint about me putting lipstick on his lips is that it wasn't evenly spread#his eyelashes are long and he's sharp and scarily productive and very good at navigation#always on time always the right place . i make a comment about being a beautiful collective and he says yes but it's odd that we havent#received the social benefits of it. what you mean? well when im alone or with friends people just...give me things. flowers baked goods#compliments a pack of cigarettes he says. he asks me if I've ever had to pay for a pack. i felt genuinely SO UGLY like am i. downgrading u?#ppl see me next to you and..what you get negative attractive points? gosh.#unfortunately shutting the fuck up is not my strong suit so i never let that go. he says nooo it's just you are So Gorgeous that you scare#people away. OK!!! he knows he's pretty and he uses this to his full advantage#you're cool and you're friends with all the club bouncers and you take such good care of me and you know#the state secrets and we can scheme murders together and i love that you love your friends#but when i joked we wont get to see each other in months and you said 'so?' that rly did smth very upsetting!!!!#twisting and backtracking is his strong suit but unfortunately seeing it happen is mine#and sometimes it's endearing and sometimes i want to kill him about it. he would be a very good diplomat#who the fuck stumbles gracefully on cliffs? anyway his voice is gentle and he says i don't want you upset#he holds my hands he says lets talk about it please i want you to know i appreciate you#he says all the correct things i believe 0 things out of his mouth and he can tell#i am snappy and terrible and calm. i tell him he's sweet and i want more i want to be missed#SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT! would you be ok being just friends? eventually.#and the next day ive decided what to do with you. what is that? you can still be my boyfriend. he says thank you.#walking is our strong suit so we go everywhere. i tell him about my best friend his head looks great thrown backwards#im afraid this is too good for me and I'm also afraid it's not enough. not asking questions is not my strong suit.
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hater alert! far too many people say that juriâs character arc âisnât about her being sad about being gay, itâs about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gayâ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juriâs character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and âsaveâ her from these feelings. like if you think juriâs entire character is just âsad about shioriâ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juriâs locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian thatâs still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesnât want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. thatâs why she forfeits the duel!!!! sheâs clocking out sheâs quitting sheâs saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do
#ok got that out of my system now (rewatched ep 29 duel too many times)#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#idk i just see that argument so much and it makes me so sad#bc i get where ppl r coming from there r a lot of unnuanced âsad bc gayâ narratives out there#but juriâs whole arc is about actively challenging and deconstructing that idea#and it deals with the sadness that comes with being closeted with knowing youre gay and not really liking that about yourself#and eventually she does accept and embrace that aspect of herself but CRUCIALLY she doesnt do it via romantic validation#in fact she does it in the face of like. All Opposition Ever#no one says hey juri if you were gay thatâd be totally fine actually haha#ruka tries to save her from her lesbianism!!!!!!!! like!!!!!!!#it is juri and juri alone who makes this resolution and that is just So Fucking Important to me#shes so. she is the queer character of all time to me i literally dont care no one else will ever come close#LIKE!!!!!!! THE CASTLE WEEPING ON HER WHEN SHE MAKES HER CHOICE!!!!!!!#accepting that part of yourself and having the symbol of matrimony and heteronormativity WEEP over you#no one ever validates juriâs choice to accept her queerness but she keeps making that choice#and her in episode 37âŠâŠ.. god i just might keel over and die girls when juri utena touga parallelsâŠâŠ#anywayyyyyyy love and light i love juriposting#shut up daisy
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two consecutive reactions to arcane s2ep7, an exhibit
#only had time for one ep today but that wrecked me enough#ekko arcane#jayce talis#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#c speaks into the void#ok spoilers in the tags:#I HAVE BEEN CRYING FOR HOURS#ekko's stronger than me i would have never left#no because how do react to that. knowing there's a universe where your entire life didn't fall apart#powder is eventually going to realize that the reason ekko painted vi like that is because he knows how she would've looked if she lived#also tf happened to heimerdinger. did he just straight up vanish#for a moment there i thought jayce was c*nnibalizing himself until my sister told me he was eating an animal#last but not least FUCKING STROMAE??????#'LE PIRE C'EST TOI ET MOI'?????#'ennemie' sounding so much like 'ami' when he sings it i'm going to pass out#the song was the final blow tbh this will be in loop for a while#i am not ready for the other two i'm simply not#i need 3 weeks to recover from this one alone
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aoughhhhmy no good very bad day . waaaaaahhhhhhhh</3
#HEAVY VENT AHEAD . SSSSSORRY .#vent cw#vent#i think creepy old guys should leave me alone maybe . my dad yelled at me a bunch today and kicked me and slapped me in the face (it didnt#hurt! it was as a joke . i mean it was abuse and wasnt ok and its insane to hit your child as a joke but like im not injured to clarify#he hit me in the face and kicked me as a joke . yyeah . đ) and like im ok but i felt so fucking grossed out (and still do) that he touched#my face hes such a fucking creep he was making weird comments abt me earlier i hate him so fucking much oh my god hes so fucking creepy i g#got so grossed oout when he touched my face i wanted to throw up#and then when i could finally go back to my room i fell asleep for2 hours which is chill !! i looooove sleeping so bad <3#but then my dad starting yelling at me again and.aoughhhhh.#i tried to go back in my room . my fuckin curtains broke . i couldnt fix them (eventually i just kinda. taped the curtains back) and my dad#said he was gonna kick me out and threatened to break my nose đ đ#sorry for venting on my fucking.Tumblr blog . i shouod Not talk abt super vent-y stuff here maybefsd;kglfdg đ#im like Ok physically and i rly dont wanna worry anyone w/this !! im fine i prommy so much but aoughhhh.my very bad no good day aough#again sorry for the big vent aough i dont rly. Vent on tumblr.of al places . so im rly rly sorry fsd;fg;jlkdfs
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is đ#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im âšrunning out of tagsâš and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3
#rat rambles#for the record I have not played limbus company nor do I plan to but the cast is rly good and I know a lot of ppl vouch for it#let it be known if I ever do get around to reading limbus stuff I will become obsessed with outis shes so me bait#youre telling me shes a middle aged woman a war criminal and a bootlicker? sign me the fuck up#I <3 crusty dusty women who suck ass#also ofc don is also the beloved but thats a given#the real question would be which of the other limbus women would comsume my life#because theyre all contenders for characters that could make me go insane. for better or for worse.#also reason number 500 that everyone I know should play these games is that its sooooo fun to make project moon ocs#ofc I and I imagine most ppl mostly make nugget ocs (aka your employees and combat units in the first two games)#but like its just fun to make ocs in this world in general#the worldbuilding of this game is like 90% built on 'would that be fucked up or what?' and I adore it for that#theyll just be like yeah theres a whole faction that follows these things called prescripts which can range from super simple stuff to#literally impossible stuff and if you aren't able to follow them you will be killed and theres a guy whos job it is to hand them out and he#has to routinely inform people to their face that they have to destroy their lives or die and it eventually breaks him#and you go ok cool Im still not over the teleporting trains that dont actually instantly teleport but instead travel through pocket#dimensions over the course of thousands of years during which the passengers can be injured and mangled and feel pain but not die and it's#not uncommon for whole societies to be formed in them but once they arrive to their destination the state of all the passengers is#perfectly reverted back to their state uppon entering leading to them being none the wiser of anything that had previously happened to them#and they go yeah haha we liked love town too anyways wanna watch this robot have another mental breakdown#and you go fuck yeah and get your ass handed to you
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... I am definitely some flavor of asexual, aren't I
#terribly drawn stuff#happy pride month lads#on another note why is it that I get much more shit when I tell people I'm aro than when I tell em I'm bi#when I say I'm bi people are like âok coolâ#but the moment I imply romance is just not for me it's always comments like âit's a phaseâ#or âyou'll meet the right person eventuallyâ or âyou say that because you're still youngâ#fuck yall and fuck your romance bs#aromantic#bisexual#asexual#pride month
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