#I love my little gay moron

[lylethewaterguy]

I love booster gold so much

[kimaratomoya]

*Casually Materialises*

No one asked for this but I don't care.

Characters that I fucking love from Fazbear Frights that I see barely anyone talking about because they didn't read past books 1-5 usually. Or they forget about them. Because that happens.

Spoilers if you haven't read the books ig??

1. Toby Billings

My beloved boy

He's so depressed lmao

Definitely got some shit going wrong

But we love him

And he deserves better that being tormented by a fucking shadow rabbit

Literally has no mother

She fucking left ✌️

But he has a brother (who is a dick)

And a dad (who supports the brother)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bestie I hope ur ok

2. Jeremiah (I don't he has a last name, if he does, I forgot it and I refuse to check the wiki out of spite)

Also depressed probably

Needs therapy

Parker was so mean to him what the heck.

He was just vibin

And trying to finish his fucking job

And this bitch put spicy shit in his chips

>:(

Also Glitchtrap kinda makes him have to find Hope and Parker's disembodied pieces

So that's rude

3. Hudson

Why are all of these people depressed

But yeah he has actual PTSD

Poor guy

Literally was trying to just leave his past behind him BC he couldn't deal with it

And just wanted to exist in peace

uNTIL SPRINGBITCH DECIDED HAHAHAHHA NO

I have a lot of hatred towards William.

4. Colton

Surprisingly, not depressed

Just a moron

I love his stupid little brain

He legit broke into a place to fix a game to get tickets for a game when he literally could've just stolen the game

You little dumb dumb

*headpat*

5. Sam

Bestie

Broski does film????

I do film!!!!!

Also I find him goofy

And Nole definitely spent way too long on the first 3 pages describing how he sits and stuff

I have no idea what his skin tone is because everyone keeps changing it and I am just gonna stick with like the original one I know for him lmao

He's so swag

(probably fruity ✨💅)

Does anyone want 5 (or more) characters I despise for dumb little reasons?

[gregmarriage]

the entire scene where eddie! mulder attempts to seduce scully, and they almost kiss (and scully is definitely into it), until the real mulder walks in, makes me feel like i’m having a stroke

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sanji edition

— modern! au , so fun , slight nsfw bc sanji is funny like that ig LMFAO

— SANJI X MALE READER one of my favorite pairings to ever cross the universe

liked by [name]s.chef, uso_pp, 9k others

lvrboy[name]: oh my god hes so fine someone give me this guys' number

[name]s.chef: BEAUTIFUL BOY MY NUMBER IS XXX-XXX-XXXX PLEASE SAVE MY CONTACT AS PRINCE SANJI I WILL ALWAYS BE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL

-> dni_nami: no fucking way, why did this guy just leak his number TO HIS OWN BOYFRIEND

uso_pp: the day sanji doesn't comment in all caps to his boyfriends posts is the day the apocolypse comes

-> roro.zoro: fr why he always yelling at him....

-> freeluffy: sanji is so aggressive to his own boyfriend, should we help [name]? -> [name]s.chef: YOU MORONS HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE AND IT SHOWS

-> uso_pp: ruhroh he angry

love.pudding: is he single?

-> [name]s.chef: I AM A GAY MAN AND IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND - I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE ELSE BUT MY LOVER, I AM A LOYAL MAN TO MY BOYFRIEND. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR HIM IF YOU WISH TO DATE EITHER OF US. WE ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE AND ALWYS WILL BE.

[liked by lvrboy[name]]

liked by freeluffy, dni_nami, boahancock, and 10k others

[name]s.chef: I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY HES THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM

tagged: lvrboy[name]

dni_nami: never seen you smile that wide before

-> roro.zoro: i wish i never saw it, it's terrifying

-> [name]s.chef: i fucking hate you, dont interact with any of my posts you idiot

-> [lvrboyname]: holy shit whenever you guys breathe do you have to insult each other

-> [name]s.chef: I WON'T ANYMORE MY BABY

SUPERCOLA: do you guys remember when sanji said he hated [name] and rejected the idea of being in love with him.

-> lvrboy[name]: LMFAOAOOA

-> {name]s.chef: that wasnt me, that was my evil twin that was plotting on my downfall.

liked by [name]s.chef, roro.zoro, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: personal bottle boy <3

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: until the bed breaks. as many rounds as you want, any position you want, anything.

-> dni_nami: sanji please be fucking normal challenge

[liked by roro.zoro and 100 others]

dr.law: is this sanitary???

-> lvrboy[name]: deez nuts in your mouth are about to be sanitary

-> [name]s.chef: TELL HIM BABY TELL HIM !!!

-> dr.law: this shit doesnt even make sense ???

liked by [name]s.chef, lvrboy[name], and 15k others

freeluffy: i can't eat when sanji is making out with [name] across from me. i'm never going out with these two again.

tagged: [name]s.chef and lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: LMFAO i thought it was known to never go out with sanji and [name]? sanji just ends up ignoring you and only paying attention to [name]

-> [name]s.chef: and that's the way it should be. who else should i pay attention to when my beautiful, handsome, erethral boyfriend is right in front of me?

robinkills: i have never heard luffy sound so serious before, what did you two do to him?

-> roro.zoro: probably traumatize him

lvrboy[name]: i'm sorry lu, i'll make it up to you sometime

-> freeluffy: pay for my meals on campus for a week straight :D

-> lvrboy[name]: i'll pay for it for two weeks, i'm really sorry luffy </3

-> [name]s.chef: DONT STEAL MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT I'LL SKEWER YOU ALIVE

roro.zoro: i think i vomitted in my mouth a little bit, happy for you guys ig.

-> lvrboy[name]: thank you...?

liked by [name]s.chef, dr.law, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: my bby in crop tops >>>

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: I WILL WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, I'LL WEAR. I HAVE EYES FOR NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!

-> lvrboy[name]: i love you so much muah

SUPERCOLA: sanji and [name] stop making out challenge literally fucking impossible.

[liked by dni_nami, uso_pp, and 90 others]

-> skullnsoul: they're so funny

liked by lvrboy[name], roro.zoro, and 14k others

[name]s.chef: my beautiful boy suprised me by preparing me food with his own recipe today, i think i could cry genuine tears. you guys don't understand how happy i am that i found him and am now able to call him mine. i will love [name] until my last breath. i am so, so lucky.

tagged: lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: okay i guess this was a cute post or whatever.

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 100 others]

lvrboy[name]: sanji i'm gonna cry :< i love u sm too

-> [name]s.chef: pls dont cry my love

ttchopper: my favorite couple, you two are so sweet!

roro.zoro: cant even say anything mean, this is very heartwarming

-> lvrboy[name]: sanji won't tell you this but he giggled and kicked his feet when he read this.

lvrboy[name]'s story

my boyfriend's so fucking sexy-

[name]s.chef replied to your story: CAN I KISS YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO BED SO I CAN KISS YOU PLEASE CAN I KISS YOU CAN I PLEASEEE-

[lakesbian]

What was he doing?  Why was he so focused on getting Bitch to admit it was over? Reputation, yet again.  He needed to salvage this situation, and the surest way to do that, to recoup his losses and come out of this looking okay, would be to get the meanest, toughest, most notorious of us to bend at the knee and concede defeat. He really didn’t know Bitch, though. She pulled her cheap plastic dog mask off and threw it to one side.  It was only a formality, really, since her face and identity were public knowledge.  Her smile, as it spread across her face, wasn’t the most attractive.  Too many teeth showing. “Lung underestimated her, too,” she told him, looking at me.

okay, continued forcing myself to spend time analyzing rachel lindt instead of letting her live in my worm blindspot for no reason. to recap: at this point in the story, she's gone on the ABB raid with rachel & had that gay little moment where rachel gave her her jacket when she was cold walking back home + got so close to taylor to inspect her injuries from lung that taylor thought she was going to kiss her. it had deep connotations of blossoming romance and taylor narrated some shit about still kind of being cold despite the jacket but the warmth in her core keeping her warm all the way back to the loft. now, although taylor is still only consciously ranking rachel at "i don't hate her" in her mind, rachel has now started doing shit like this.

one of the primary rachel/taylor theses is that taylor isn't rachel's dog, rachel is taylor's dog. it's established over the course of the worm that she trusts taylor completely implicitly. there's the part in the behemoth fight where the entire world is falling apart around them and rachel is still smug and happy about taylor having a plan. there's the part at the end that makes all of us want to smash our heads into the wall:

she trusts taylor in the same way a dog would trust their owner even on the table for euthanasia. she sees taylor as smarter than she is not in a self-deprecatory way--there are plenty of people who you might call smarter than rachel that she'll happily call morons--but because consistently, time and time again, taylor goes up against smart pieces of shit who are trying to fuck the undersiders over and figures out what to do about it. and this scene here, where she's responding to armsmaster's attempt to put her down by insisting that he's underestimating taylor, seems to be the first instance of rachel's trust in taylor shining through. in fact, this happens even before taylor considers them to be friends, before they've had any significant bonding. one of the very first positive things rachel feels about taylor--maybe even the first positive thing--is that, when people are putting her and her team down, when odds look grim, taylor can be trusted to solve it. it's actually, like, kind of bonkers compelling that rachel's first seed of positive response to taylor isn't "well, actually, i guess she seems nice" but "my teammate taylor could beat up this dickhole armsmaster."

it's worth explicitly noting, by the way, that rachel interprets smiles as like dog growls. the reason her smile is a little too wide with too many teeth is because it's not actually a proper smile. it's rachel being a growling dog, placing all of her trust in taylor. I Love You Rachel Lindt

[noblecorgi]

2024: A Re-Entry to Fandom

I guess this is a thing? (Oh shit this brackets bit was written at the end and I appear to have emotionally vomited an essay. Sorry ‘bout that.)

In late 2023 I experienced a personal tragedy and retreated to where I had always found comfort: books.

I read a series that had been recommended to me before, but I hadn’t had time to read it - The Simon Snow Trilogy by @rainbowrowell and it awoke a dormant-but-never-forgotten love of fanfiction in me.

In my teens and early 20s I wrote a lot of fan fiction on the ol’ FF net, all of it of atrocious quality I’m certain, which is why I haven’t tried to rediscover that account.

Instead I found AO3, and restarted regularly writing for fun instead of for work or study/research.

I didn’t do any summation for 2023 because I think my first fic was posted on like 10 December 2023, but AO3 tells me I wrote 4 works, all SnowBaz, at a total of 55,154 words.

In 2024, I’ve published 5 works, at a total of 94,323 words.

What truly blows me away (and honestly makes me a bit teary) is the 1013 kudos, 100 subscribers (inc 15 subscribers to just me rather than a fic!), and 222 comment threads on my works. 🥹

So: my 2024 works.

Use your words, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 3,930 words

A smutty lil gift fic wherein Baz teaches Simon how to sext.

Splendid Morons, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 12,886 words

Published for Erotic Grope Fest, aka Baz’s birthday. A collaboration with @alexalexinii and a story written to enable their amazing art of Baz in lingerie.

Precious to me for not only getting to work with Alex, but also for being the beginning of my relationship with Becky @rbkzz, my incomparable beta who has become one of the dearest people in my life.

On The Rocks, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 74,592 words (WIP)

My opus, as it were. It originated from a fluffy cute prompt of “what if Baz and Lady Ruth were work besties?!” And I came along like “YEAH! But with trauma, exploration of love in mental illness, and alcoholism!”

I began posting it in March and it’s about 2/3 done now. But for Becky it would be both an absolute pile of horse poop, and an abandoned WIP. Instead it has a clear direction and she found motifs that I’d repeatedly used by accident in my drafts and built imagery, greater meaning, and also debated me ad nauseam on my preference for spelt over spelled.

Immune Response, @lumosinlove’s Cubs, Rated: G, 1,421 words

I was a big consumer of WolfStar in my teens and was recommended Lumosinlove’s Sweater Weather and, like many before me, fell in love with the story, the original characters, and ice hockey itself (much to the surprised glee of my Canadian spouse, who for a decade has tried in vain to get me on board. Little did he know the key was obviously gays.)

This is a lil’ slice of life sick fic examining how each of the Cubs responds to getting sick.

I have a lot more unpublished drabbles about these characters and some fics that are being cocreated so stay tuned for 2025?

Preliminary, my dear Basil, SnowBaz, Rated: T, 1,494 words

A gift fic for @martsonmars as part of the Carry On Discord’s Secret Snowflake Exchange.

Among their suggestions was ���Sherlock AU, but not BBC Sherlock, 19th century Sherlock” and it hooked me with the idea that Baz would absolutely fancy himself as Sherlock. I actually sketched out a plot to SnowBazify 4 of the Holmes stories, so maybe 2025 will see them unearthed.

There is one other published fic I worked on this year, but as a beta rather than a writer for @swoopswrites @rsbigbang piece Class A which was super fun to do (and got me to watch a great series - The Gentlemen on Netflix) and Swoops has a fantastic mind so I’d encourage you to to check it out.

Finally, I have always been a writer rather than an artist, but I do enjoy drawing, and the need to upgrade my iPad for work arose and so I also tried my hand at drawing again for the first time since I was 17 or so.

In order from the first one to the most recent one, the lil scribbles I did this year:

Penelope Bunce, Wolfstar on a train, Baz with coffee, cuddly Cubs, FinnLo being adorable, iconic Moony with a cane, emo Sirius Black.

And THAT was 2024 (and 2023).

@artsyunderstudy @asocialpessimist @angelsfalling16 @whatevertheweather @edenalix @emjaydellyone @erzbethluna @emeryhall @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @roomwithanopenfire @thehoneyedhufflepuff @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @lonleyhumanbeing @letraspal @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @ichooseyousnowbaz @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @sorenphelps @skee3000 @stitchy-queerista @fiend-for-culture @facewithoutheart @fruitcoops @girlwithcurls96 @hushed-chorus @hihimissamericanbi @cutestkilla @cosmicalart @confused-bi-queer @noopienoopiernoopiest @messofthejess @monbons

[househrt]

househrt's Repression fic rec list

Fic recs where Wilson and/or House is incredibly repressed and/or oblivious (about their sexuality, their feelings, their anything). I've tried to tag authors' tumblrs where they exist, but pls tell me if I've missed any!

Repressed!Hilson

Diagnosis by tornyourdress Creator's summary: House has a dream about Wilson and decides it's his brain's way of telling him Wilson's sick. The fact that it was a sex dream is completely irrelevant. Rec notes: 1.1k. Hilson getting together. Mutual repression from these two losers (affectionately)

every burn hole smells like home by JesseStresse Creator's summary: When House's pipes break in his apartment in early season 5, leaving him with no running water and no ability to shower, Wilson is recruited by the ducklings to make House shower because he smells distractingly bad. But Wilson doesn't smell anything bad. Actually, Wilson thinks House smells really good. Which could mean nothing. OR: Wilson discovers boysmell and has a midlife sexuality crisis about it. Rec notes: 20k. Hilson getting together. Trans Wilson thinks he's straight, both House and Wilson think the other one is straight, Wilson is in deep, deep denial

Repressed!House

systemic by ictus Creator's summary: Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis. Rec notes: 10k. Hilson getting together. House keeps having vivid Hilson dreams and runs a DDX on himself (one of my fav tropes). He's so repressed about his feelings for Wilson :)))

He Won't Tell You That He Loves You by hellshandbasket Creator's summary: “Finish it out,” he grits between clenched teeth. “Go on. Ask it.” Nolan shifts in his seat. “Are or are you not attracted, at the very least, to Wilson?” House knocks his forehead against his cane. “I don’t know. Maybe.” In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug. Rec notes: 25k. Hilson getting together. Repressed!House (not) dealing with his big gay crush realisation, Wilson is more observant than people think (quote: “You are the stupidest fucking person I’ve ever met,” Wilson declares. “You’re a moron, you know that? I don’t even know how you get through the day. An idiot.”)

Polygraphing by DarnGoshit Creator's summary: Greg is in a room full of liars and he knows what his Power is before he hits junior high. Or: Everyone is born with a supernatural abilities. House's is knowing when someone lies. Rec notes: 5.4k. Pre-Hilson. (Mostly background Hilson) House is the last one to know he's in love with Wilson, and is desperately trying to find out if Wilson feels the same (but he won't ever just ask, of course not)

keep me where the light is by RMarie124 Creator's summary: "House has his earth shattering, (good) knee weakening, life changing revelation about Wilson at such an inopportune time, that he’s tempted to laugh. He would have, if he hadn’t been hands deep in his patient’s organs." Rec notes: 13k. Hilson getting together. House realising he's in love with Wilson and panicking about it, feat. some bad pain days

Repressed!Wilson

a thousand teeth (and yours among them) by itooaminthisepisode (anarchy_opossum) Creator's summary: He just takes in the sight of House, loose and pliant and beautiful despite the pain he’s in - the glazed look in his eyes, the way his mouth drops open, the way he presses his nose into Wilson’s palm. The way he digs his teeth into Wilson’s skin. “Ow!” he yelps, quickly withdrawing his hand as the tender mood vanishes without a trace. “What the hell was that for?”' or: Sometimes, when House gets too overwhelmed by his emotions, he gets a little bitey. This is five times House bites Wilson, and one time Wilson finally bites him back. Rec notes: 1.2k. Hilson getting together. James "I'm not gay" Wilson, my beloved, with some hurt!House as a treat

only fools rush in by bittereternity Creator's summary: so take my hand, and take my whole life too. Or, the one in which Wilson realizes he's in love. It kind of throws him off-kilter. Rec notes: 3.7k. Hilson getting together. Wilson is the last one (except for House) to figure out he's in love with House. Includes Foreman giving Wilson the shovel talk and Cuddy's response to Wilson's "I'm in love" confession being “Which nurse do I need to replace this time?”

Noticing The Little Things by erimeows Creator's summary: Wilson notices things in House that he didn’t before. He notices that House eats the yogurt first because he knows that Wilson’s favorite parts of the parfait are the fruit and the granola, notices that House has beautiful flashing blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. He notices House’s cute little habit of playing with his own hair when he’s bored and the way House likes his coffee; black with an ungodly amount of sugar. Wilson notices things in himself that weren’t there before either. He notices that his heart is beating far too fast, that his face is hot, that his fingers twitch with anxiety and that he can’t stop himself from scratching the back of his neck. He’s so tired from losing sleep over the issue that he can barely stay awake, even with House looking him in the eye the way he is right now. “The hell’s wrong with you?” Rec notes: 4.4k. Hilson getting together. Wilson's big gay sexuality crisis. House's concern takes the form of thinking he must be sick and running a DDX on Wilson's big gay crush symptoms

Five Times House pranked Wilson And One Time He Didn't by vampiremustdie Creator's summary: what it says on the tin. crack fic + some very much earned yelling at each other as an excuse to get them close together !!! Rec notes: 5.3k. Hilson getting together. House being annoying, Wilson getting annoyed, then they kiss about it (also includes House drugging Wilson, one of my fav tropes)

I wanna scream “I love you” from the top of my lungs (but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me) by eating_custardinbed Creator's summary: “Call your divorce attorney and pack your bags, Jimmy. Me and you are shacking up.” in which Wilson is told that he is gay, and goes on a journey of self-discovery Rec notes: 5.8k. Hilson getting together. Wilson is the last person to figure out he's gay

A Little Experiment by roamingbee Creator's summary: House and Wilson have a drunken one-night stand. Wilson freaks out. House deflects. Rec notes: 7.8k. Hilson getting together. Wilson freaking out after his first gay experience (with House)

James Wilson and the Cozy Blanket of Denial by tornyourdress Creator's summary: "Why not date you?" Exactly, House says - why not date me? Rec notes: 3.2k. Wamber + Hilson -> moving into Hilsamber. Jealous!House and James "I swear, all straight guys fool around. It doesn't mean anything!" Wilson

your slightest look easily will unclose me by tornyourdress Creator's summary: Wilson has an unusual response to hearing about a patient of House's trying to 'cure' himself of being gay, and both House and Sam realize something's up. Rec notes: 3.6k. Wilson/Sam -> Hilson getting together. Wilson went through conversion therapy as a kid and is in major denial about how it fucked him up

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night by lawrussoauto Creator's summary: In his office, at work, with a girlfriend at home, Wilson was about to watch his best friend and their boss have sex. The realisation that House had emailed him a sex tape finally sank in. Where, in said sex tape, they were talking about him. “You think I’m afraid to go public? I want to prove you wrong … With a sex tape. We’ll send it to Wilson. It’s a win-win.” -- House, S07EP01. Rec notes: 1.6k. Huddy + Hilson -> Hudson. Wilson is repressed about his big gay feelings for House and watches Huddy's sex tape.

Correlation Does Not Equal Causation by housethemd (Whiskeyrose1) Creator's summary: “This… this hasn’t happened before.” “Most people say that in the opposite situation.” Alternatively titled: Wilson Doesn’t Actually Have Whiskey Dick Rec notes: 3.1k. Established Hilson. Previously repressed!Wilson and House have a drunken hookup (quote: “You don’t have whiskey dick, you’re just gay.”)

Shake The Disease by WeirdAn Creator's summary: Wilson moans House's name in bed. His marriage goes downhill, but he isn't gay, right? Rec notes: 3.3k. Hilson getting together. Wilson having his big gay freak out

Simply Complicated by wearywren Creator's summary: Wilson has made a big discovery about the true nature of his feelings toward House. House, of course, wants to figure him out. Rec notes: 2.7k. Hilson getting together. Wilson having his big gay freak out, House being nosy

Commedia Dell'Arte by IreneSpring Creator's summary: Even the most ornate masks eventually crumble. Wilson's lasted over thirty years, which would be impressive, if it weren't for the devastating ramifications. Rec notes: 7.6k. Hilson getting together. Wilson in denial about how he's autistic. James "But everyone does that, right?" Wilson. (Quote: How the fuck does anyone get diagnosed with autism when all the criteria are just normal parts of being a person?)

The Evolutionary Imperative by pleasuretoburn Creator's summary: "There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends, and there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function." (2.04) or, Wilson gets involved in a situation he never expected to find himself in but, as the good, blundering creature that he is, he will people-please his way into his new life as a father. The only problem is, as always, House. Rec notes: 46k. Hilson getting together. Kid!fic that I, someone who rarely enjoys kid!fics, loved (Continued in this series)

Hypothesis by IreneSpring Creator's summary: At the beginning of the month, James Wilson decides to break out of his depressive spiral by having an affair with the first woman who is not needy. By the end of the month, he is facing an existential crisis decades in the making. Rec notes: 15k. Hilson getting together. Comphet!Wilson figuring out his sexuality (quote: "Am I gay, or just severely depressed?")

[feel free to send me fics you think should be on this list and I may add them. The rest of my fic rec lists are here. Last updated 05 October 2024]

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

orphaned cannibal adoption AU- Charlie BURSTING in the hotel front doors, striking the iconic lion king pose, and proudly presenting the cannibal kid to the other hotel denizens

Charlie: "GUYS OH MY GOSH LOOK LOOK LOOK!" (waggles the kid happily) "A KID!!!!!!!!! Kid, say hi!"

Cannibal Kid: “Hi…”

Husk: "What the fuck is this? Child labor??"

Vaggie: "No."

Cannibal Kid: (dangling in Charlie’s grip) "I'm VERY high up right now."

Charlie: "Do you like it? The hotel? The high up-ness? The other people living here? We can change ANYTHING you like! You are my child now, and I'm melting like silly putty in your tiny, tiny hands!"

Angel Dust: "Thrillin', toots. Who carried."

Cannibal Kid: "Small hands are useful for getting things out of tight spaces."

Charlie: "I did!"

Vaggie: "Do I wanna know what kinds of things you usually get from what kinds of spaces?"

Angel Dust: "Huh. Would'a thought it'd be Vaginal Area over here."

Cannibal Kid: "Internal organs. From still warm bodies."

Vaggie: "Great."

Charlie: "I carried our new kid here ALLLLLLL the way from Cannibal Town! On my shoulders! Just like how my dad used to do with me!! Only I didn’t turn into a horse or a kangaroo or-"

Niffty: "Aww, that's a long way to walk!" (raises hand) "THEY CAN SNACK ON MY HAND IF THEY'RE HUNGRY!"

Vaggie: "Niffty, Rosie packed a lunch."

Niffty: "NOOOOOOOO...!!!"

Vaggie: "And it's adoption, Angel Dust you asshole. Also try keeping the swearing to a G rating okay."

Husk: "You fucking first."

Vaggie: "Fuck."

Cannibal Kid: "Don't worry. Auntie Rosie taught me to only put nice things in my mouth."

Charlie: "Ooooh like candy?!" (realizing cannibal) "Or, wait-"

Cannibal Kid: "Like eyeballs."

Husk: (SNORTS)

Angel Dust: "Ouchie~"

Vaggie: "What? What? Wanna share something with the room, dingbat!?"

Angel Dust: "I meannnnnn- 's not like you're exactly well equipped to feed your new kid, are ya Vagginator? That's kinda... EYE-ronic."

Husk: (snorts so hard his fur fluffs up)

Niffty: "I have an eye I HAVE AN EYE!!! It's BIG and ROUND and-"

Vaggie: "No."

Cannibal Kid: "Aw."

Niffty: "MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!"

Vaggie: "Oh for- Husk, just, break a bottle and let Niffty have the glass or something. This is too much sudden family bonding happening right now."

Husk: "Let me fucking empty one first." (starts chugging)

Vaggie: (SIGHS)

Charlie: "Right." (lowers kid to eye level) (her eye level, not vaggie’s) "Have you ever heard... of gummy worms?"

Cannibal Kid: "No. But I ate someone named Gary Wormwood once."

Charlie: "That's pretty close!"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, no it's not."

Charlie: "Vaggie, as the mothers, our kid's 'best so far' is always more than good enough for us, it's AMAZING."

Cannibal Kid: "He wasn't that great."

Angel Dust: "Leavin' totally mid Gary to rot somewhere back in creepy Cannibal Town, what's the name of your own sweet little murder baby?"

Vaggie: "..."

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie, are you gonna...?"

Charlie: "I mean you're the one who clicked with them, I thought you'd be doing the big introductions!"

Vaggie: "I'd love too, sweetie, but I don't actually... y'know."

Charlie: "What?"

Vaggie: “…um.”

Angel Dust: "...you don't know their fuckin' name, do ya?"

Charlie: "WHAT!?"

Vaggie: "It, it never came up! I thought I'd find out when you said it!"

Charlie: "I THOUGHT I'D FIND OUT WHEN YOU SAID IT, TOO!!!"

Angel Dust: "Oh fuck me with a plastic dick- Neither of ya's gay morons know's the kid's name???"

Cannibal Kid: "It's Annie."

Charlie: "!! ANNIE IM SO SORRY MOM WILL NEVER NOT KNOW YOUR NAME EVER AGAIN-"

Annie: "Short for Annabelle."

Hotel Crew: “……”

Vaggie: "....like, Annabelle the… cannibal?"

Annie: "Tragically."

Charlie: "Oh but that's. A. Lovely name."

Annie: "My dead parents thought they were both really funny." (flat stare) "They weren't."

Angel Dust: “Sucks to be you, kid. Sorry ‘bout your old man and lady.”

Annie: “It’s okay. They didn’t own a hotel.”

Charlie: “Ahhaha! This is a horrible thing to say, but- I feel like your FIRST life changing experience with us will be learning the true meaning of family!”

Annie: “Since you’re the princess of hell, what does that make me?”

Vaggie: “A normal kid who’s mom is princess of hell.”

Annie: “Dang.”

Angel Dust: “Oh I’m gonna LOVE bein’ your uncle! You’ve got piz-zazz don’t ya~?”

Annie: “No.” (pulls Razzle out from under their coat) “His name’s Razzle.”

Angel Dust: “That ain’t exactly what I meant-”

Annie: “I know. I was just being funnier than you.”

Husk: “Ha! Now this is MY kinda kid!”

Angel Dust: “Yeah sure whatever, I’m still gonna be a waaay cooler uncle than you, so… uhhh… Vaggie-boner, why’s your girlfriend making that noise?”

Vaggie: “The ‘eeeeee’ing?”

Angel Dust: “Yeah.”

Vaggie: “It’s one of her happy sounds.”

Angel Dust: “What the fuck is she so happy about. Didn’t she get over the whole burst of motherly endorphins thing while signin’ adoption papers over in Eats-your-face-burg?”

Vaggie: “I mean, you did kinda just make it sound like you think of her as family.”

Angel Dust: “Of course you gays are family! What the fuck???”

Husk: “….you fucking idiot. Now you’ve made them both cry.”

Niffty: “I wish that was meeee…”

Annie: “I think they’re tears of joy." (dabs tear on finger and tries it) "Tastes like it, anyway. Too sweet.” (pulls face) "Blegh."

Niffty: “Emotional pain from the AGONIZING realization of everything that’d been CUT AWAY FROM YOU LIKE A KNIFE TO YOUR HEART at the same moment someone VIOLENTLY SHOVES a brand new PAINFULLY BEATING HEART into the EMPTY CAVITY that used to hold your BRUTALLY CRUSHED DREAMS… can be fun too…”

Angel Dust: “….”

Husk: “….”

Annie: “Aunt Niffty, you’re so cool.”

Niffty: “Really!? I’m also gonna let you play with KNIVES!!!”

Angel Dust: “-no, no you won’t. No. Both of ya’s listen carefully- the word of the day is ‘N’… ‘O’.”

Annie: “Knife starts with a ‘K’.”

Husk: “He wasn’t spelling knife.”

Annie: “He could've been if he’d started it with a ‘K’.”

Charlie: “YOU ALL ALREADY S-SOUND JUST LIKE A FAMILY WAAAAAGH!!!”

Annie: "So is this the true meaning of family?"

Vaggie: "It's....close enough."

Annie: “Okay. I like it here, tall mom. It’s soggy, because you’re crying on me, but it’s nice.”

Charlie: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- YOU CALLED ME M-MOM-”

Vaggie: “There-there, sweetie. Maybe try to not break our kid’s eardrums on the first day?”

Husk: “You’re still crying out of your one fucking eye-”

Vaggie: “Shut up.”

[petalsscribbles]

22. marry me (again)

It's a starry evening, not a cloud covering the Moon or countless stars illuminating this special night. Yn constantly checks his watch, he lost count how many but it's gotta be over 50 times for sure.

"Is everything okay dear?" Jay asks, sitting across Yn at a beautifully set up table with their dinner cooked by a famous personal chef.

"Yes, of course." He reassures but Jay doesn't seem much relieved. "Why do you ask?"

"You've been acting strangely these past few days. Is there something you're not telling me?"

Goddamnit. Yn knew he wasn't exactly slick no matter how hard he tried and Jay is unfortunately very observant.

"I promise you, everything's fine, love." Yn repeats. Jay gives him an unconvinced smile and doesn't press further.

Yn checks his watch once again. It's 19:58. The fireworks should start any minute now.

"I have a surprise for you." He says and Jay stares at him, still chewing on the last piece of steak.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come with me."

They get up from the table and head towards the railing of the yacht. Just then fireworks start in the distance. Colors explode in the sky and reflect in Jay's dark brown eyes. Jay stares at it like a little kid, mouth a little open. Yn uses his trance to quietly take a few steps back and get on one knee, patiently waiting for Jay to notice.

Only a minute later Jay turns to talk to him though finding no one by his side. His eyes search and fall upon his kneeling husband, holding out a red box with a simple golden ring.

"Yn what is this?" He breathes, frozen.

"Our wedding day was beautiful and I wouldn't have it any other way, but to you and me, it wasn't real, it wasn't out of love. But now that has changed. I love you, I love you so much and I want to get married as a man who wants to, not a man who has to marry you. So what do you think? Will you marry me? Again?"

A beat of silence.

Then two.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." Jay says honestly.

"Can you say yes first?"

"Oh my God, of course I'll say yes! I'd marry you a thousand times over."

"Jay we're not that rich." Yn jokes as he stands up and puts the engagement ring on Jay's finger.

"Oh shut up and kiss me, you moron."

The kiss is loving, giggles of happiness bubbling whenever they pull apart.

"I'm so lucky I have you in my life." Jay whispers as he hugs Yn tightly.

"I think you'll change your mind when you hear my wedding vow." Yn answers, returning Jay's tight embrace.

"No. Not even the worst, most humiliating and cringeworthy vow the world has ever heard will make me love you less. You 're stuck with me."

"For better or worse."

a/n: and that's a wrap on another gay shenanigans with enhypen :3 thank you for all the love you've given me and this fic and I'll see you soon with bloodsucker Sunghoon lol

Take care my beloved pookies <3

taglist CLOSED

@starchasing-cryptid @onementally-unstabel-kid @nootnootpinguuu @kkurbys @gnusihcom @silkentides @monstaxpuppy @bubblztaro @bleedingxheartt @zzzavid @thishastwentyletters @dkmyman @tarotarosung @darlingz99 @moonslie04 @lampcults @liyatime @foxilsdenn @onli-danny @lisaswifey

prev masterlist next

[hp-hcs]

(Fine, I’ll do it my damn self: part 4 of my silly lil mlm stories <3)

Surrounded By Fucking Idiots (Chapter Two of Gay Awakening) — smitten! mattheo riddle x male! reader

TWs: implied violence

homeboy is s m i t t e n (also i tried to make him a little less ooc this time lmfao)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Dude, why is Y/N in your bed?”

Mattheo yawned, blinking up at Blaise who was standing by the side of the bed, hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised.

Mattheo’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned his head to find you—sure enough—lying on your stomach, asleep, next to him. You had one hand loosely fisted in the front of Mattheo’s shirt, and he had his tangled in your hair.

Mattheo’s mouth suddenly went dry as he tried to think of any explanation, running over a dozen half-believable fibs in his mind.

However, Blaise interrupted him before he could spin an elaborate story. “I don’t care if you’re gay, Theo. You’re my friend. Just treat ‘im right, yeah?”

“How’d you-” Mattheo licked his lips. “How’d you know?”

“I have eyes, Riddle. Now, wake up your lover boy and come down for breakfast. I’m starving.”

Mattheo let out a soft huh as Blaise walked out, shaking his head to himself and muttering something about being “surrounded by idiots in fucking glass closets.”

~~~

That day was entirely and completely odd. Your masc friends wouldn’t even make eye contact with you while your fem friends would burst out into nervous giggles when you said hello, immediately coming up with some half-baked excuse to hurriedly run off.

“Theo,” you mumbled as you sat down for dinner next to him at the Slytherin table, the third years next to you instantly scooting away. “Why’s everyone avoiding me?”

“I wonder,” was muttered across the table by the chaser for Slytherin, Adrian, who pointedly stared down at his plate rather than anywhere else. Despite that, his fresh black eye was still clearly visible.

Mattheo smiled at you, saying nothing, but tugging at the hem of your shirtsleeve.

You glanced down, turning a beet red when you realized that you hadn’t taken off his quidditch jersey—the one he’d let you borrow to sleep in last night. “Oh-”

“Yep.”

Glancing around the Great Hall, it didn’t escape your notice that the eyes of the professors’ table kept falling from your face to Mattheo’s last name on the back of his jersey, doing mental gymnastics to figure out what was even going on.

“I think you should wear my last name more often, love. Really get the message across to everyone.”

“Oh, I think they got the message already, dickhead.”

He snickered and kissed the top of your head, a smug look on his face as your classmates purposefully kept their gaze in any direction but where you both were.

The only person who seemed entirely unbothered by the situation was Blaise, who was indifferently stirring sugar into his tea. “Congrats, Riddle. You’ve just sprinted out of the closet. Admirable, certainly, albeit entirely moronic.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate your honesty.”

“No problem. It’s what friends are for, Theo.”

You just drop your head down onto the table, groaning to yourself. “I’m the one surrounded by fucking idiots.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter Three

[aphcoolalters]

Were already somewhat aware of how Labby acts towards Alfred, but how does he interact and/or act around other alters? Is there any he's acquainted with? Some he just straight up hates?

P: Okay, okay, you win, we'll tell you about the son of a bitch, I'll go first

P: Labby and I have been friends from the beginning, we even teamed up to play a little prank on Alfred, unfortunately, Alfred returned to the playhouse and Labby, like the big idiot that he is, stayed with him

I like to see what he does with Alfred, it's like watching a show within another show haha ​​gays, Anyway, now it's Alfem's turn

A: WAIT WHAT?! I told you I didn't want to talk about him!

P: I don't care princess, just do it

A: Ah... fine

A: When he saw that I was angry with him, he started acting cuter to me than usual, he even gave me a gift, but I don't think a real heart covered in blood is a gift you would give to your girlfriend, anyway he and I We are no longer boyfriends, I cannot love someone who abandoned me

P: damn why are you so dramatic?

A: I'm not dramatic, I'm just telling the truth.

D: well bitch, more for me

P: ooh dominatrix! Come, tell us what you think of Labby

D: Fuck, Labby is so hot, but for some reason he doesn't want to have me around, I mean, I'm a horny whore who wants to be with him, why is he leaving? I don't understand why he wants to keep trying to make Alfem love him again when he has ME in his clutches

P: stupid bitch... Hey, and where is Chist? I'd love to hear what that moron has to say

C: here I am, I'm everywhere, you know

P: uuuhg, Yes Christ, I know, you say it more than 20 times a day-

C: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

okay that's better

I don't know Labby very well but I think he and Alfred have a great relationship, it's obvious that they love each other a lot, if they got married I would definitely be the-

L: Step aside! I WANT TO TELL SOMETHING

L: I only interacted with Labby once in my life, a while ago I thought it would be a good idea to go out while Labby and Alfred were… AHAM! doing THAT

I thought Labby probably wouldn't notice, but he did and I looked like an idiot when he did it

P: lucifer literally no one asked you

S.Alf: Yes, and not only that day did you look stupid, actually you look stupid every day

Alf.P: you make me sick dude…

L: ALRIGHT! If you think you're so smart, try it yourself

S. Alf: I honestly never had the courage to talk to him

Alf. P: Me neither, he just spends his time sitting on the couch and watching TV

S. Alf: He doesn't seem threatening, just weird, I don't understand why he's still here, he has no affection for Alfred and it bothers me how toxic he is

P: faggots, he's just a fat guy addicted to weed, he's not going to bite you or something like that

L: the egocentric is right

P: Lucifer My God, just close your fucking mouth

[earthpleasures]

✉  𐫦LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE ! | pjo various (smau)

luke castellan x fem!child of athena!reader, percy jackson x annabeth chase, clarisse larue x chris rodriguez, silena beauregard x charles beckendorf.

⠀⥱ y/ntheowl : reader

⠀⥱ thiefofhearts : luke castellan

⠀⥱ wisegirl : annabeth chase

⠀⥱ seaweedbrain : percy jackson

⠀ ⥱ drakonslayer : clarisse larue

⠀⥱ chrisiee : chris rodriguez

⠀⥱ warbarbie : silena beauregard

⠀ ⥱ bestblacksmith : charles beckendorf

⠀ ⥱ olderprankster : travis stoll

⠀ ⥱ youngerprankster : connor stoll

dividers by @saradika

seaweedbrain happy birthday babe, light of my life (and #1 ass saver) @/wisegirl

chrisiee dang okay we see them🟢🔵

-> seaweedbrain bro's bitchy cus he forgot clarisse's birthday👍🏻

-> chrisiee listen here you bitch-

y/ntheowl fav couple ♡ (after silena and charles🤭)

-> wisegirl i am your sister??? what happened to sisterly bond???

-> y/ntheowl i don't remember sisterly bond existing when it was your turn to clean cabine🧐

thiefofhearts i remember fetus percabeth and how many headaches you two gave us 😔

-> seaweedbrain says the man who was scared of Annabeth he had a crush on her sister💀

-> drakonslayer lmao at least he knew who he liked, you two were straight up morons

y/ntheowl my pretty princess ♥️ @/thiefofhearts

thiefofhearts YOU SAID YOU WON'T SHARE

-> y/ntheowl whoopsie🤭

-> thiefofhearts Y/N

-> thiefofhearts tf you mean whoopsie 😭

olderprankster never ever seen a prettier princess 🌹🌹

-> youngerprankster let it go, let it gooo

-> olderprankster I AM ONE WITH THE WIND AND SKYYYY

-> thiefofhearts i see you two are quite voluntary to clean hermes cabin

-> youngerprankster YOU CANT MAKE US

-> thiefofhearts i am the counselor🙂

-> olderprankster THAT’S POWER ABUSE

warbarbie definitely slayed the suit babes

-> y/ntheowl thanks lovee

y/ntheowl "hE wAS my biG bRo bEfOre hE wAs yOur boYfRieNd" COME AT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT 🥊🥊🥊 @/seaweedbrain @/thiefofhearts

thiefofhearts when did you take this??

-> wisegirl YOURE SMOKING!!?!?

-> thiefofhearts ...next question...

seaweedbrain can't change the truthhhh

-> y/ntheowl i ain't playing with your childish ass

-> seaweedbrain winner takes Luke for a whole day without other interrupting?

-> y/ntheowl okay, FUCK THE MATURITY WHEN WHERE

-> thiefofhearts did I just witness a bet forming on ME without ME KNOWING!?

wisegirl quick reminder! ITS NOT OKAY TO SMILE AND TAKE SELFIES AFTER YOUR BOYFRIEND SET THE WHOLE CABIN ON FIRE @/warbarbie

warbarbie bummer☹️☹️

-> drakonslayer don't listen to her love of my life, you're perfect the way you're ❤️❤️

-> warbarbie thank u bae🥰

-> bestblacksmith 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈???

-> chrisiee siri, is my gf gay for her bsf?💀💀

seaweedbrain 💯💯💯 activite

-> drakonslayer for the first time in my life I agree with this idiot, a sign for apocalypse in my opinion

-> seaweedbrain 🖕🏻

-> drakonslayer 🖕🏻🖕🏻

©2024 earthpleasures do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[simplesoup]

Break the ice

Pro hero Shoto x huge fan-boy M! reader

Live laugh love that’s the motto or so you’ve been told.

Life in the city of Tokyo Japan wasn’t easy if you needed something you better plan time steps ahead there was always something going on in the big city

you a man in your (Age) were sitting down in your small apartment reading through some of the resent reports thinking about what was currently in.. you had a job a decent one at that you’d write reports and make news headlines spreading the word and truth

it wasn’t a bad job you got to report on some pretty cool things and on the rare occasion you got to talk with the hero’s and get their input

to bad the one hero you wanted to talk to wouldn’t even glance in your direction You often found yourself joking about it to numb the sorrow you felt for yourself

“Oh he’s as straight as they come”

“Don’t look at the gay might catch a disease..”

you submitted your newest report and started getting ready to head out and see if you could get your hands on anymore info or at lest grab yourself a coffee you deserved it!

You sighed as you walked down the streets trying to get through the crowds of people it was rush hour but normally it wasn’t this busy you pondered what could be going on until you saw him… sure you saw him everyday he was plastered all over your apartment but here he was another glimpse of the man you admired in real life you rushed forward choosing to give it another shot at inner viewing this pro

“Shoto! Hey shoto! Can I still a second of your time!?” You shouted and surprisingly he glanced at you with those cold dark eyes something inside you snapped in that moment and you froze like a damn idiot…

the hero looked at you for another moment before shrugging you off and walking away

you mentally cursed yourself for missing this opportunity and freezing like a moron. He stared at you for…. 32 seconds…. Just like that your heart was beating like crazy…

you walked away a few minutes after your head hung low with embarrassment you walked into the coffee shop ordering your drink and leaving soon after walking off towards the normally hot spot the mall there was always something going on around there class while you were at it, you could pick yourself up some ice cream and chocolate to make yourself feel better

Maybe even buy yourself some flowers? why not couldn’t hurt….

OK, maybe it did hurt… your self-esteem a little bit you push down your pride as you continued to walk before being pulled to the side, and your heart, practically being pulled out through your throat at the god stud right infront of you

Shoto Todoroki!

SHOTO TODOROKI WAS STUD RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! He looked at you with those two toned eyes his case is anything but friendly… he was cold… ice cold

You just needed to break the ice introduce yourself! Wight a story on him and… move on because there was no way in hell you were gonna get anything more from him…

This time you hoped the words would actually make their way out of you

as you talked you notice the stuttering

“Hello! M-my name is Y/N L/N! I-I great stories a-and yeah s-so um what’s- I mean I know know your name name like everyone knows your name! You so lovely- I mean cool!- and hot!- No wait I didn’t mean that way you know your quirk, cold and hot!- yeah!!!”

Your face turned back to that dark red color it had earlier you were such a mess. This was embarrassing, and he hadn’t even said a word not that you had really given him a chance to….

Pulled in paper out, looking at him eagerly, waiting to write down anything everything he said, staring at those lips

“If your gonna stare you should just take a picture I don’t have time to tell stories..”

“Pictures!- oh no I don’t need any more pictures. My apartment already has them everywhere. You’re everywhere I mean!-…” could you sound any more lame?…. “sorry!- sorry!-… I’m just a really big fan and I just really wanted to hear your stories and tell your stories-��

he seem to care or if he did, he didn’t show it his face remain cold “I don’t have time for small talk… flattery doesn’t work on me…”

“ flattery!? no no that’s not at all. I was trying to do.!-“ was it?…what do you even say to this guy? You didn’t know how do you even go from here? He had basically already shut down built that imaginary wall out of ice…. You thought for a moment before determination filled your face, and you looked up at the pro hero as he had started to walk away “Shoto What keeps you going?… what keeps you working so hard”

It seems like such a simple question, but it was the only one that you can manage to get out

To your surprise, he turned around and looked at you once more, tilting his head to think about what he would say “My mother… and… my friends I guess…” he gave you a half smile liking the question and the answer he had given

“ What’s the hardest thing you have ever had to do as a hero?…” you felt your heart pounding and your pencil moving as fast as it could on the little notebook you had with you.

“Oh now that’s…. That’s a tough one… The hardest thing I’ve ever ever had to do as a hero… push people away…. Can’t really have a relationship…. It’s just not safe….”

You looked around, noticing that people had started together and noticing that that ice wall that had just started to come down, was starting to build itself faster than you could melt it

you handed the pro hero your card and smiled “ I would love to continue this conversation at another time if you’re interested that is… my number is on the back” you waved in this time you were the one walking away, trying your hardest not to look back. You really did just do that.

Although you didn’t expect to get a call back anytime soon if not ever… you received a call an hour later and that night Shoto was in your apartment! You couldn’t understand how this had even happened but here he was looking around here apartment covered in his merch

You felt embarrassed, but also couldn’t help the pride that you had it was a really nice collection pretty much every single thing had hit the market since Shoto had started his hero work

The pro hero sat down on the couch your couch!! you chatted for a while you wrote down Notes here and there, but you found yourself distracted, staring at those lips before you knew it, you had climbed onto his lap kissing him with passion… to your surprise he didn’t push away

He returned it, pulling away after a few moments to take breath a grin slipping on his face

“ now that’s a icebreaker” he winked

((umm ok what do we think? Yay or nay? Not really sure about this one but i tryed))

[kckt88]

Cruel Intentions - SNEAK PEEK!

Summary:

Two brothers who attend an elite university make a bet: to deflower the new dean's daughter before the start of the new semester.

Warning(s): Language, Drug Taking, Slight Homophobic Language, Bet Making, Maniplulation, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, Smut – Fingering, Oral Sex (M & F Receiving), P in V, Safe Sex, Major Character Death.

MODERN AEMOND x O.C

HEAVILY INSPIRED BY THE MOVIE - CRUEL INTENTIONS

Word Count: TBC

Taglist -

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

“I accept-now what are the actual terms of the bet?” asked Aemond.

“You know the new dean’s daughter-“

“-Reese Hargrove?” asked Aemond.

“Yeah, that one-little miss prim and proper thinks she too good for anyone, so I say we knock her down a peg or two” replied Aegon.

“-And how do we do that?”

“You will seduce her and then discard her” said Aegon.

“Seriously? That’s too easy-not even remotely enough of a challenge, got one of those moron friends of yours to do it” laughed Aemond.

“Did I mention that she’s a proper daddy’s little princess-“

“Again boring” said Aemond yawning.

“-And a virgin” replied Aegon smirking.

“How’d you know that?” asked Aemond curiously.

“I take it you didn’t read her little manifesto in the University magazine” asked Aegon as he threw a copy onto the glass table.

“Menstrual cramps?” asked Aemond as he glanced at the front cover.

“Shut up and turn to page sixty four” snapped Aegon.

Aemond rolled his eye and picked up the magazine, he flicked through the pages until he found the one, he wanted.

“Why I plan to wait by Reese Hargrove-Jesus christ is she for real?” asked Aemond.

“Oh, she’s daddy’s little angel-a paradigm of chastity and virtue”.

“Hm” muttered Aemond as Aegon ripped the magazine from his grasp.

“Let’s see-boring, boring, boring-I love my parents, boring, boring, boring-making a mature decision-oh here, she has a boyfriend named Trevor, been going out for a year and he understands” said Aegon mockingly.

“Trevors gay” snarked Aemond rolling his eye.

“My point is-you and I have fucked our way through most of the girls at university, which is hardly a challenge anymore”.

“So, all I have to do is fuck her and I win the bet?” asked Aemond.

“Pretty much-but if you’re thinking it’ll be easy then your wrong-” muttered Aegon.

“How do you even know that?

“Remember that up tight chick I told you about over Easter?” said Aegon.

“The one who broke your nose after you tried to finger-wait that was her?” asked Aemond trying to stifle his laughter.

A girl with some bite to her-now this could be interesting.

“Yes, it was her, proper humiliated me in front of everyone so now it’s payback time”.

“So, this bet is just your desperate attempt at getting revenge against a girl who wasn’t interested in you-for fuck sake Aegon” muttered Aemond running a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

“Oh, cut the moral high ground shit brother it doesn’t suit you-or do I need to remind you of the time you fucked your way through all four of the Baratheon sisters in the space of a week”.

“Far point-so I fuck Hargrove and then what?” asked Aemond.

“Providing you have proof of the deed being done, then I’ll let you fuck Alys” replied Aegon.

“What does Alys have to say about all of this-” mused Aemond.

“Well of course I asked her before I discussed things with you, and she agreed-“

“-Just like that?” asked Aemond disbelief.

“We have a semi open relationship remember-as long we tell each other that we want to fuck someone else, then it’s ok. Sometimes we even share” shrugged Aegon.

“Well, I’m not into sharing” growled Aemond.

“Do you seriously think I want to see your bare arse-no thanks. I just meant that me and Alys are open to many forms of expressing ourselves and our love” said Aegon.

“-And you’re ok with her potentially fucking your own brother?”

“You have to win the bet first” laughed Aegon.

“-And if I fail?”

“I get your car which I will make sure to fuck Alys in” quipped Aegon smirking.

“Fine-you’re on” said Aemond holding out his hand.

“There was me thinking you’d need a little more convincing” said Aegon smirking as he shook his brother's hand.

“Thing is, can you imagine what this would do for my reputation? Screwing the new deans daughter before the semester starts” mused Aemond.

“Would be one of your greatest victories-aside from the school nurse that you fucked last year, I’m still surprised they didn’t kick you out for that” said Aegon reaching for his silver cross necklace and pulling away the end.

The white power lingering on the small scoop spilled over the edge as Aegon lifted it to his nose and inhaled it in one sharp breath.

“Speaking of getting kicked out-if mum and dad see you doing that again, they will go crazy, they told you last time that there were no more chances” said Aemond.

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them-besides you need to start making nice with Reese”.

“I suppose this would make an interesting chapter”.

“Oh, gee your journal, could you be any more queer?” said Aegon.

“Could you be more desperate to read it” smirked Aemond, his grip tightening around his leather bound journal.

“I would say good luck brother-you’re going to need it-besides it might be worth mentioning that you only have a limited time in which to get Hargrove into bed” replied Aegon.

“What do you mean?”

“Her father’s preoccupied with getting ready for the new semester, so Reese is staying at our aunt’s place for a few weeks, but I also know that she’ll be spending the last two weeks of summer break at her grandmothers-so that means you’ve only got four weeks to win the bet” said Aegon.

“FUCK” exclaimed Aemond as he turned on his heel and left the room.

[darklinaforever]

The thing about romance books that have a lot of different couples explored within a several part series is that not everyone is like certain books. So I don't understand this whole obsession with genderbending love interests? Or even changing so much of it? Even if you like those changes, allow the OG fandom (the book lovers) to mourn for those changes? Sophie fans don't want her to be genderbent. Michael fans don't want him to be genderbent. And yet you will see some Michael fans pointing out that they should genderbend Sophie but not Michael. Some Sophie fans are trying to argue that it is fine for Michael to be genderbent. Then you have people who are making a case for Eloise to end up with a woman (genderbent sir philip or no) but some people who loved her book don't want that. There are many women who are arguing that having another female character who is outspokenly feminist be gay is a stereotype at this point, and many of those fans find it refreshing for her to end up with a man. Although, even those fans agree that they would like to see changes to the Philip + Eloise story. Not to mention, the discussion of possibly genderbending the love interests of Hyacinth and Gregory (which I will be so upset by - especially Lucy). I have already seen people on reddit debate that Lucy should actually be a man. I feel like it doesn't have to make "sense" to genderbend a certain character. If people are attached to a character being a certain way, don't make large changes.

Lastly, I feel like a part of introducing Michaela was for shock value but to also prep the fans the possibility of Sophie being a man. He could've been introduced much later, but I feel like part of the motivation is to gauge the audience's reaction and give people some time to adjust before the new season starts where they feature male!Sophie. Especially since they decided to finally address Benedict's sexuality which I feel was terrible writing. Benedict has barely had any good arcs. They should've explored his sexuality before and made that an arc rather than having it thrown about without any good writing. So, it feels they are pulling the Benedict is bi card NOW because they want audiences to be prepared for the change.

Anyways, I am a lesbian, in case any of the homophobia arguers want to get angry about this rant. I love romance books and my favorite are sapphic books. I just wish shows would stop pulling this shit. It only frustrates people and then divides fandom. It is like these showrunners are too lazy to ever actually be willing to take a risk or start from scratch and build up a fandom. They always want to take advantage of an already large fandom so they can make the changes they think will have people praise their writing and then gaslight the fans when they dislike those changes.

It's so insulting to so many minorities. Are we not good enough for our own stories? Must we always have these hollywood idiots steal other stories and try to force it? Do they have any IDEA how many LGBTQ books are published that would make for 10/10 romances. Sorry for the rant. I am just pissed.

Exactly ! There is so much history to be created about queer people. No need to change the types of characters already existing within a fandom !

And I completely agree with you on Benedict. I said it myself. They poorly explored his pseudo sexual discovery. Not to mention the fact that yes, we really give him little material each season and I don't understand why. Needless to say, I can't wait to finally see him shine in the forefront !

Also, probably even if you specify that you are a lesbian, you will still be accused of homophobia by these morons.

I'm Bi, and I had the right to an anonymous person telling me that I hated queer people.

Bullshit level we are damn high.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

To the SPN fans that are hating on good omens rn bc of the leak, I hope you choke. I've seen some really nasty shit today from some of my (now unfollowed) followers whom I followed for spn content. So let's make one thing clear from actual posts ive seen today:

-Saying that the "wrong angels kissed", is...homophobic. I was with destiel from beginning to end and yeah we were completely shafted, but it's not okay to then say that other gay couples in media aren't allowed to kiss just because they aren't the ones you thought were hot. Jesus christ didn't think I needed to write that one down for ya-bo burnham

-I saw so much fatphobia about how Castiel deserved a kiss more than Aziraphel bc "he has far more sex appeal." Wtf wtf wtf. How do you live with yourselves saying that shit?You can pry Micheal Sheens body type Aziraphel out of my cold dead hands, you CW brainwashed morons!

-hate against the author for some reason, no one is willing to give specifics about it, but I think the majority of them maintain that GO is not good rep because they didn't kiss and now they are claiming pandering or something? Honestly that guy has only ever stood with the writers guild and queer people his whole career from what I find so I don't think it's fair whatever hate they are spouting. He isnt even saying he is upset with fans that saw or shared the video. Hes being super nice about it!

-I will say, non of us SPN fans have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to hating something bc of the authors, OK. I saw someone saying the writing for spn was better and I can say you did not watch the show. I loved spn but don't do the late Terry Pratchett like this. He did nothing wrong

-on that same ish strain, as an ace person who thrives off queerplatonic relationships in media, maybe they kiss, I dunno. I just have to wait until the season comes out. Not 1 SPN fan gets to bitch about GO asexualty rep when SPN never even tried that route with any of its characters. But also ace characters are allowed to kiss, so you can write them that way of you want and interpret them that way if you want still. This is your viewing experience.

-this leak is truly not the same as the SPN yo a ti leak, solely bc the episode hasn't aired yet. "None of you GO fans would have survived the yo a ti leak." No I think you wouldn't bc the spn leak was clinging to an already mangled straw, while the angel's in GO are queer already. Queer queer queer and no amount of kissing or lack thereof is going to change that. We have no idea what happens in that episode of GO, but we saw the creators butcher the only moment in the show that could have meant anything real for queer viewers in SPN.

-"SPN crowly was kissing dudes first so this one is not that impressive". I see two cakes. One was made with the intent to make gay people look evil, but over time got kinda funny and a little better bc gay people liked it, and the other was about telling an interesting story about how love is so important, especially at the end of the world, and gay people liked that one too! So for me it's YaY two cakes!

-again the anti aziraphel is so plainly just fatphobia. You have no excuses. Sorry you don't think someone who looks like a slightly chubby micheal sheen could ever get kissed by someone who looks like David tennant, but you are not only wrong, you are also childish.

OK I'm done. Go watch good omens s2 when it comes out for my fucking sanity please. Or don't if all you are going to do is try to rip it apart like you do to all media that tries to be better.