#I literally could just take time off
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#I like. can’t keep doing this#but at any given moment it’s either impractical to do shit about or like#tolerable enough that I’d prefer not dealing with the immediate fallout.#like even if I just go for an attempt patch solution . which never works anyway but like#at least wouldn’t blow everything the fuck up#it’s like. these sorts of things#somethings supposed to give#but I don’t give out. I just keep wearing down#like I’m always on my last thread but it fucking sucks to be perpetually there#idk. idk#it’s like at my last job I got to the point where I just kinda wished I’d get injured to the point of not being able to work#but I literally had PTO#I literally could just take time off#and I didn’t#bc like. I was always Able to push through the next day#it took being laid off for me to stop#I just don’t want to disappoint people. or ask for things.#and this is so much more that#and I don’t feel like I can talk about it. that’s part of the problem tbh#like so much is just. me being unable to say anything#I can’t even be specific here in the tags of a vent post#and it’s not even bc the slim chance the tiny handful of people I know irl who could see this#would see it#though admittedly that doesn’t help#its just. I don’t want to like. acknowledge it. even though I know#I know. I know I’ve known for fucking years#I just always pick the path of least resistance even if that’s just banging my head against a wall#456 words#vent post#prob will delete later
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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Reaper's Bounty.
#ffxiv#fan art#emet selch#zenos yae galvus#oc#atticus van simularus#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#I'm here to rattle my garlean reapers=vampires propaganda around because it lives rent free in my head#look two idiots willingly offering their aether to the people protecting them#one for their enshroud and the other for their primal transformation LOL#Atticus isnt always wholesome and with Regent's power he could appear at Solus' side whenever it was demanded of him#and because in universe regent is in control of the intake of aether emet doesnt have to worry about atticus taking too much -or-#discovering he was an ascian lmao#I also just felt like drawing crazy-eyed emet because its fun#also dont mind zenos plotting 100 ways to kill a man because hes in a situation where he has to transform#and therefore take his healer's own aether just to protect them#not that tsukiko minds- it means she gets to take a free nap#also the in universe pain that zenos has to feed either from her arm because he will not put his teeth anywhere near her neck (ironically)#(tsukiko heals through singing and its something he enjoys listening to in their off time)#mans stuck with literally the arm or the leg because Tsu is tiny next to him#adventurer zenos
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Alright, time to elaborate on that other post. Elain by far has had the most free will, the most agency out of the three sisters. Elain stans love to say Nesta coddles her when the reality is Nesta consistently relents to what Elain chooses for herself.
In ACOMAF, Nesta doesn't agree at first to Feyre's request to use their house because she doesn't want to compromise Elain's engagement. Elain is the one to push back, and Nesta relents immediately. What Nesta thinks is best doesn't take precedence over Elain's wants.
We know that Nesta doesn't approve of Greyson. She agrees with Cassian that Elain deserves better, but what Nesta thinks is best doesn't take precedence over Elain's wants.
In ACOWAR, Elain is catatonic. If anything, she should be coddled here. Her and Elain were stuck with these strangers for months. Strangers who were also the people who got them into that mess in the first place. Finally, Feyre shows up to help Nesta figure out how to help their sister. Madja is brought in, who recommends Lucien try to figure it out since they're mates. Nesta pushes back in what might arguably be coddling to keep Lucien from Elain. Feyre tells her to shut the fuck up and let Lucien try. And what do you know? She relents again -- What Nesta thinks is best is ignored because Nesta doesn't have any power in this situation.
In ACOFAS, Nesta has pushed Elain away at this point. She tells her “You have your life, I have mine." That's more or less Nesta saying do whatever tf you want Elain it's not my business. Not coddling!
In ACOSF, ohhh the infamous scene when Elain finally develops a personality starts coming out of her shell. Please try to remember at this point, Nesta has been locked in a house and barely sees Elain. The IC doesn't give a fuck about what Nesta wants for this whole book—Why would they choose now to listen to her? Literally everyone except Azriel agrees that Elain should be able to scry if she wants to. It would literally be easier for the IC to let Elain do it over waiting for Nesta who didn't want to do it.
"Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater."
Elain says all this and then... goes back to "tend to her little garden." It's a toothless moment. Elain stans would rather blame Nesta for coddling her than consider that maybe Elain just didn't try very hard to take on some responsibility for her sister who was supposed to be in "rehab." It sounds fucking stupid in the context that Elain hasn't seen Nesta at all between ACOFAS and ACOSF -- Nesta physically isn't around to coddle her. Elain doesn't contribute because she chooses not to or because the IC simply doesn't ask her to. We don't have any context for what she's been up to aside from some vague comments about lying about gardening or whatever Cassian said.
Amren admits that they're using Elain to manipulate Nesta. There was zero practical reason for them to do this other than because they care more about Elain's safety than Nesta's safety. The IC are the ones who have the power to "hold Elain back," not her sister who is locked in a house and never sees her—The IC could easily say fuck you to Nesta and have Elain do it. They didn't even need to bring Nesta into this conversation!! They could've gone to Elain first!!
Some Elain stans want so badly for Nesta to be the thing holding Elain back and it's very transparent to me. I have seen people go so far as to blame Nesta for Elain's uselessness in the cabin and that Nesta abused her too—sorry, what? I mean nice try, but Elain already admitted to being just as neglectful, and not even because she was genuinely remoseful towards Feyre—She said that shit to defend Nesta from Cassian.
I'm not even saying Elain isn't coddled but Nesta sure as fuck isn't the one doing it. Nesta doesn't even have her own free will how the fuck is she supposed to take away someone else's? Nesta choosing to do things so Elain doesn't have to isn't coddling. It's well established that if Nesta couldn't successfully scry, they would've gone to Elain, which means Nesta never had the power to stop Elain from scrying. Nesta has never tried to take away Elain's free will and even if she wanted to, she has no power to do that.
#anti elain#acotar#it's just FUNNY to me to see people shit on nesta for not doing enough#and then blame Nesta for being the reason why Elain doesn't do enough#you're not throwing nesta under the bus for your fav on my watch#i'm sick of people saying it's misogynist to call elain boring#she's called boring because she's an empty shell#literally all the meta and characterization i see of her on here is SPECULATION#honestly it would be INTERESTING for sjm to go in the direction of elain let nesta take all the blame so she could get off scot free#i would never call her boring again#but yeah all you fucking weirdos accusing nesta of abusing her with zero evidence?#unfortunately for you sjm isn't going to regress nesta's character for someone she hasn't bothered giving a personality to yet#say what you want about nesta but she's had a definitive and consistent personality this whole time#don't piss me off
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went on the twitter radfem space and it was full of the most obscene racism and violent language. tiktok is absurd, too. and now radblr is just near constant in-fighting and bullying. there's just no room for black radical feminists on the internet. i think i've gotten all i was ever going to get from this place. i think it's time i just move out of here and focus on reading theory and building irl community and maybe focus on the youtube channel. any mutuals that want to keep in touch, y'all can message me and we can figure out how to stay in touch elsewhere! (like discord maybe!) those who want to follow the channel can subscribe and stay subscribed until i upload. i may just create a website specifically for blogging and my thoughts after compiling the posts i've kept on this account. not deactivating immediately, since i still have loads to figure out and arrange, but i don't think i'm helping anyone on here and i'm tired of the hostility. i don't need anymore in my life. i'd rather just curate in my own space and accumulate a volume of work that i can use for other things and not have my blog polluted by racism, homophobia and anti intellectualism. i'm tired of trying to convince the unwilling. i'd rather just be a proper essayist and have people fight about me rather than with me XD.
#radblr#i want to transition off the app but that may take weeks#but i don't think there's a better time to start rebuilding than now#anyways#we'll see how it goes#tumblr does have its conveniences#i just don't think i'm being effective here#i'm just tired of gentle parenting strangers#like i wish the best for y'all and i wish i could give you the space you needed but i can't manage all your very real very valid traumas#all at once#i literally cannot be perfect to each and every one of you#and i don't think i should be either
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in my head, kieran survived the o’driscoll kidnapping, but by the time he’d got back to shady belle after someone found him bleeding out in the street and took him to the doctor, the gang was gone, and he took the opportunity to escape the gang lifestyle, running off to strawberry and beginning work with the timber folks
years later, you can find him at pronghorn ranch in epilogue 1, lovingly tending to the horses in the barn when you go to scoop the manure, and he’s made an honest living for himself. and the o’driscolls are gone because sadie killed then all and he is finally safe and happy is anyone listening can anyone hear me
#does anyone care where javier fits in here#in my little mind world they run off together but not at the same time#i want to write more about this but i have no idea where to start and this is all i can find the words for at the moment#if my brain can work for a little longer i may reblog w javi’s side of this au#it takes him a lot longer to actually buck up and run off but it happens literally right before the pinkertons come to beaver hollow#like he takes the opportunity during the height of the confusion when john renters camp to run off#because john is alive and dutch lied and he misses kieran so much and it’s just his last straw#his heart is broken and loyalty matters to him still more than anything but it isn’t dutch he’s loyal to anymore#i’m literally delusional#autism is a crazy thing cuz why am i literally making up an entire au and constantly thinking abt a ship that literally only 3 people in the#world ship#please put me down i wish i could have gotten hyperfixated on a Normal ship but noooo#it’s THIS ONE#someone please indulge me i have so may thinks and thots#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javieran#i won’t tag javi because. he’s literally not mentioned in the actual post LOL#text#hero's talking to himself again
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AND ANOTHER THING. i know that on a meta level this is literally just How Video Game Bosses Work. but also with how well the game mechanics work into the story in many other cases i don't think it's unreasonable to look at it from an in universe perspective
SO
i think it really says something that loop only uses their stronger attacks in their second phase. i think it really says something that you have to bring them down to 0hp four (4) times, attacking them repeatedly + proving that you are willing to genuinely hurt/kill them, before they'll use their most powerful attacks on siffrin
#talk tag#isatposting#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#man i am wordy today huh#anyways. i think abt loop a normal amount can you tell. i think about twohats a normal amount can you tell#also wait hold on i just checked the stats page again for this post and. it seems like loop Cannot crit in phase one?#unless im reading it wrong. but like. gestures emphatically if that is true#id need to go fight them again to check but i dont think attack buffs would do anything (bc their attacks are percentage based)#which would mean if both of those things are true the max damage they can do in phase one IS genuinely just 17% of ur hp#+ even if attack buff DOES do smth thatd still only be uhhhhhhh#like 25%? but even then they can only buff once per loop in phase one + they only do that 17% attack once every 3 turns#so theyd only be able to get one of those. so im just gonna say 17% max for simplicity sake#guarding halves the damage down to 8.5% and for the other attack halves it to 5%. you heal 6% every turn with the memory#you could literally just stand there and guard forever and absolutely nothing else. and stay at almost full hp the whole time#if im doing the math right then youd lose a total of 0.5% hp for every three turns. by just standing there and doing nothing but guarding#loop! does not! want!!! to hurt siffrin!!!!!!!! thank you for coming to my ted talk. takes a bow#wait thats not taking into account attack speed actually hold on#okay so its gonna vary based on level obvs + also my sif has the scissors equipped which lowers attack speed and i cant. unequip them </3#BUT. opened up my act 6 save to check. his attack speed is 186 (at level 76) and loops is 170. so sif outpaces loop#which MEANS [clears throat] sif can probably outheal all the damage loop does given enough time#okay. thank you for coming to my ted talk for REAL this time. maybe ill make these tags their own post i fucking went off so much help m#was joking abt being really wordy today and then went and wrote a FULL ESSAY in the tags like okay
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#sometimes I love sitting in complete darkness also knowing death is literally around the corner#it's so thick in the air it's unreal#I haven't mentioned anything about it here but#my kitty has cancer and things haven't looked good at all during the last 2 days#I fear that it won't take too long anymore until she will die#I'm so used to doing everything by myself and I know I will manage somehow as always but#I can't deny I sometimes get so fucking tired of always putting on a brave face and pretending that everything's fine#and not talk to my few friends who unfortunately suffer so much themselves and sadly don't even live near me#and yet I don't even want to talk because I'm way too exhausted#mayhaps just the presence of someone who cares and understands could be enough I think#but there's nothing like that anymore so I keep pushing myself forward despite always falling back deeper into the dark hole#I have long accepted how things are but#knowing the one thing that gave me the most strength during dark times will be gone is unbelievably painful#I'm confident things will become brighter at some point. just wondering when. I think I finally deserve a break#just wanted to get it off my chest before retreating back into my “idgaf” behavior#tumblr and moots are my witness#likely tbd#tw cancer
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I know I'm probably bad for saying this, but man it's kinda hilarious how Fernando's been brake-testing people since literally the beginning of his career and seems to never have stopped to think "hm maybe I should stop." I guess his 2003 tactic of saying "that's where I needed to break!" didn't work out ;;;
#i agree yeah it was dangerous#but also like during brazil 23 wasnt he doing it to a lesser extent#taking a corner differently to throw off the other person#peepaw just went too far this time ah#lmao i saw someone say THESE POST RACE PENALTIES DO NOTHING#bruh what do you want it was literally the end of the race#do you want the stewards to spank him in front of everyone or smth?#i guess you could apply a future penalty to serve but ah lesson learned#fernando alonso
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I feel like people who think Percy should have done more to convince Nico to stay in the the 4th book, don't fully realise that Camp isn't a safe place for those who aren't accepted. Not only had Percy been initially shunned by his fellow campers when his parentage had been revealed, being at camp had put him under the radar of the gods, and in close quarters with one god. Percy hadn't had a choice when it came to his first Quest, he either had to leave Camp or get turned into a dolphin. It was lucky that he chose to go on the Quest, because nobody, except maybe Grover, would have helped him if he'd been forced to flee. Not only would Nico have had to deal with the campers' fear, he would have been a sitting duck for the gods, either to use or destroy. That's why, when Percy got the chance in The Last Olympian, he advocated for him, and got him a place in Camp, so nobody could doubt that he belonged there, or was worthy of respect.
Exactly. Percy had a pretty bad experience at camp for the first three summers he was there for three different reasons (being claimed that first summer that set him apart from the crowd, getting bullied in the second summer for having a cyclops for a brother, and Thalia coming back made people completely ignore him in favor of the daughter of Zeus, the new shiny prophecy kid). He knows what it’s like to be an outlawed demigod and he wouldn’t force anyone else to live the same circumstances he did. Especially since Hades already doesn’t have a good standing with the gods or their children. Notice how he was immediately blamed for the theft of the master bolt. And of course he would have had to stay there full time since he doesn’t have a mortal address so like you said he’d be under the gods’ thumbs 24/7 and made to prove his loyalty to Olympus by going on stupid quests, if not outright killed. In ttc, the Olympians almost had Percy executed just for existing, the only reason they didn’t is because Poseidon threw his weight behind him. Somehow I don’t think they hold Hades in such high regard and even if they did, Hades himself didn’t hold Nico in high regard until much much later so yea he’d be dead one way or the other.
But yea no dumping on Percy for knowing all of this is and recognizing it as a sad reality because it was his sad reality as well is not the hot take that some people think it is.
#I do think that Nico could have made some friends there after tlo if he gave it a proper chance#I know some people might have been put off by him#but he also isn’t very sociable#and approachable so he probably didn’t try to make friends either#making friends is a skill it takes time and practice#he just kinda gave up on himself and resigned himself to the whole I’m the son of the god of the dead no one wants me#if propel learned to be cool with Tyson a literal monster and Mrs O���Leary another literal monster#they would have warmed up to him#pjo#Percy jackson#Nico di Angelo
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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