#I know that everything else was ruled out except for ADHD

[siriusblack-the-third]

ok, any headcanons on james that compliment the ones you've done for sirius?

i absolutely loved those and i'm really curious about james

HELL YEAH LETS GO

ADHD. This dude has to be moving, fidgeting, doing something, always. It tires him, and he sleeps very soundly for a full seven hours. Doesn't wake up even for earthquakes (Sirius once did a mini earthquake spell on the dorm room floor in the middle of the night as a prank. It did not wake him.)

Wakes up at an ungodly fucking hour. He doesn't own an alarm clock (it has no effect on him), but his internal clock is set to wake him up at exactly 4:30 in the morning for quidditch practice. He is done with jogging through the entire castle, half an hour of yoga, and an hour of quidditch before 7 A.M. rolls around. Sirius calls him "a demon from muggle hell" for it.

The only one who can keep up with Sirius' intelligence. He is scarily smart, but because most of his time is invested in quidditch and pranks, nobody realises just how smart he is until the results are handed out and he's right there next to Sirius on the top of the rankings. Both of them are always exchanging ranks 1 and 2 on overall performance. It annoys Snape and Lily to no end, because those two are always exchanging ranks 3 and 4 on the list.

The definition of Reckless. If Sirius hadn't stopped him, he would probably have turned the castle to rubble in less than five minutes. This was the exact reason why people (who were in the know) were surprised when Sirius was the one that sent Snape to Moony. They had all thought it would be James' fault.

A fucking bookworm. My dude reads literally everything from mystery to romance to encyclopaedias to research papers to fucking dictionaries of different languages. Even when he doesn't speak the language, the weirdo (affectionate and derogatory).

Indian. Specifically, from Pune city, Maharashtra.

About languages, he's learnt a lot of them. The order of learning of languages, starting from his native tongue, is thus: Marathi, Sanskrit, Hindi, English, Ancient Greek, Tamil, French and Latin. He learnt the first six at home, and French and Latin from Sirius. He's good with languages.

Photographic memory. The reason he never has to study, and also the fact that he understands everything he reads on the first try.

He and Sirius both have twelve OWLs and eight NEWTs. They have Outstandings in all of them.

My dude has the widest, largest doe eyes possible. The only people who can withstand them for more than two minutes are his parents and Sirius.

Bharatanatyam dancer. Has his Visharad certificate, and genuinely enjoys dancing. Gives at least three evenings per week for dance practice to keep up his muscle memory.

Doesn't actually hate Slytherins. Neither does Sirius. Both of them have several friends from the house of Serpents, they just hate the ones that actively use Dark Magic on muggleborns, and Snape and his gang are a part of that.

Lmao the sheer arrogance in him, oh my fucking Gods—

Doesn't give a shit about the rules set by other people (unless they're set by his parents), but has a set of rules for himself that he strictly follows. No one can tell what these rules are, but he has them and he follows them. At the top of that list, there is "never betray your loved ones". He followed that one until his death.

Nevertheless, he will break every single rule. Every. Single. Rule. For Sirius. For Sirius, he will do anything, from taking care of him when he's sick to burning the world for him.

The Hat would actually have put him in Slytherin, except he had no ambitions except to cause chaos at the tiny age of eleven years. Otherwise, he's almost a perfect fit for Slytherin— determined, strong willed, cunning enough to pull difficult pranks, resourceful (because how else you gon plan epic pranks?)

He went to Gryffindor for three reasons and three reasons only: Sirius was there, he had no particular ambition, he wanted to be with Sirius.

M O T H E R H E N. Such a mother hen, but only for a select few people (the marauders, Lily, and Harry). He doesn't give a fuck about anyone else, but these are my people and if I weren't here they would literally get themselves killed put of household related incompetence how are you still alive by the Gods—

Follows ancient Vedic religion (because I do hehe)

Very very panromantic. Demisexual.

Had a crush on Sirius for a short while in fourth year, and then on Frank Longbottom in sixth year after he had one (1) glance at the older boy dressed in full Auror robes.

Loved his mother so much omg he was such a Mama's boyyy

Gave shit to Remus for looking like a professor at the tender age of fifteen, but wanted to become a Transfiguration Professor himself. He was also excellent at Potions (another reason Snape hated him) but decided ultimately that Transfiguration was his calling

Was in his last year of his Transfiguration Mastery on Samhain of 81.

Died with a Killing Curse on his lips. He was ready to cast it wandlessly, for his wife and child. Died with a Killing Curse on his lips.

[mediumsizedpidegon]

I feel like naruto doesn't get into the fact that naruto had literally no one give a shit about him until like. iruka-sensei? And sure, he was in an orphanage but then we learn that he's had the APARTMENT HE LIVES ALONE IN AS A TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD THAT THE ENTIRE VILLAGE DESPISES since he was 4 or 5 i think (i will not check this. the timeline of naruto is dumb and makes me cry). and even in orphanage it isn't like the staff there were treating him right. why else would be given his own apartment by the hokage when he's four? i know they let sasuke stay in the house of his dead family and let itty bitty kakashi live alone after his father died but they are The Last Loyal Uchiha and a prodigy respectively. the rules are different compared to naruto himself, i believe.

Like, yeah– Naruto is loud and brash because he wants attention– and never has it unless he provokes others– and almost certainly neurodivergent (I think he has ADHD and depression). He doesn't know any of the theory behind being a shinobi, doesn't even know what chakra is. But Naruto has been criminally neglected, socially isolated and if not physically abused by some people in the village then certainly threatened with it often at the least. I'm more on the side that says that the ANBU can't stop everything and that by ditching them all the time Naruto actually ends up in more Very Bad situations but that aside:

I genuinely believe that Naruto would not know how to read when canon started. I think he doesn't how to use a washing machine (he washes his clothes in the Naka river because no laudromats will accept him). I think he holds his chopsticks wrong. I think he has half-picked up ANBU handsigns and how to mimic other people's voices to an eerie degree but he doesn't know a single thing about nutrition besides what can be obviously observed and tested (ie, if I don't eat something green at least once a week my body will Not Like It). I think he doesn't know ANYTHING about medical care except "if it's popped out, shove it back in the socket," or "wrap it in cloth scraps."

He's can be so quiet and stealthy that the ANBU lose sight and sound of him but he doesn't think unconditional love exists. Or at least, not for him.

I desperately want to see more of a Naruto that is brash and loud and loving and hopeful, yes, but also, once you peel back some layers, extremely eerie. Naruto is an orphan that raised himself in a village that would leave him dead in a ditch at the first opportunity: he is a child that raised himself in enemy territory. He is a child seen as a beast to the ordinary and a weapon to the higher ups. and do you know what people do to beasts and weapons that are unruly and too smart or lazy and useless? they put them down.

there is no way that Naruto is unaware of this. he's a child, but children can be perceptive and Naruto has to be to survive. And it's not like the village is being subtle. so. I want to see a Naruto that is so so aware that the ANBU are both to protect him and destroy him, that the hokage might hesitate, but no one else will. So: here is Naruto, who is a child who is a monster who doesn't want to be put down. who has to be cheerful and stupid and harmless enough to not be a threat, and strong and naive enough to not be useless.

just. just. a Naruto that has had to learn everything on his own, through trial and error, people-watching and his own common sense (naruto's sense is NOT common). And he's good at it because he has to be. He's a mimic through and through– he learns much from the ANBU and the vendors in their market stalls and the conversations that families share with each other. But the problem with being the outsider looking in is that sometimes you fail to see the context. meaning that Naruto has a SHIT TON of just. objective incorrect ideas of why certain things are the way they are. and it's not his fault– his conclusions are completely logical with what he has on hand, but the point is that he doesn't have all the information and he never does, on the outside. meaning: Naruto is a walking talking version of using the wrong equation on your math test and getting the right answer. he has to reverse engineer all this shit! and especially when it comes to jutsu, what's behind the product isn't obvious.

and now we come to the reason i actually made this post. the ridiculous, funny misconceptions i have headcanoned that naruto has, not the heartbreaking rage enducing ones.

the raw meat shame tax. so naruto eats raw meat (because no one has told him that eating raw meat = becoming ill, but he has kurama to take care of that anyway) if he's hungry enough or can't be bothered to cook it. but one time someone came across him during raw meat mealtime and reacted in horror and disgust. then naruto notices that sushi is like. super expensive despite how easy it is to catch fish and that cooked fish is cheaper as well in restaurants. SO naruto comes to the conclusion that eating raw meat must be shameful and taboo and something that can only be done alone or with close family in private BUT people like playing with the taboo so you can have sushi (which has non-raw meat elements to make it less scandalous) at restaurants AS LONG AS you pay an 'eating raw meat in public' tax. this is my most ridiculous headcanon and i love it to bits. like. i believe that out of all of the funny misconceptions naruto has, THIS is the one that is so baffling that it makes sakura just. give up. she leaves the room and walks directly into the Naka river.

what??? is?? the??? difference?? between?? girl?? and?? boy??? look. naruto knows that people can have different equipment: he lives in a bad part of town and is constantly eavesdropping on people. he doesn't just know that people have different equipment, he knows what sex is by the time he's 6. but naruto thinks that it can't be based on that because it's too stupid. like, if it were based on that, why would people cover up that part of themselves and treat it like taboo in public? it would make it really hard to tell who's a girl and who's a boy. naruto keeps coming up with shit and then disproving it over the years and is still unsure. but he nows knows he CANNOT ask people whether they're a boy or a girl because they will get mad.

which leads into clothes/hair aren't gender-specific but they ARE clan or occupation specific. Naruto does show up to class wearing dresses on multiple occasions and doesn't understand why Ino is extra mad at him those times. However the first time he sees someone with a haircut similar to sasuke's he's like 'that's not allowed! he's not part of your clan!' and it takes two hours to for sasuke to find out what the fuck dobe was talking about–

doesn't know what a library due date is. the library doesn't know who stole all the various craft/cooking books that have illustrated steps but they're never getting them back.

unintentional poison eating. naruto's cooking is.... so poisonous. he has eaten everything that looks like it could be eaten in the forest and if it doesn't make him sick then he deems him safe. there are SO many things that naruto forages that would straight up kill anybody else. naruto tries to share his food with team 7 one time because that's love and care babyyy!! and then there's ten minutes of screaming where sasuke and sakura genuinely think this was a murder attempt.

if someone leaves stuff unattended in public for more than half an hour then it's up for grabs and no longer stealing. this is how he gets most of his plants. and his bags. and his winter jacket. also his shoes. this is also how he garners even more hate from the village.

anyone above the age of seven can budget, haggle and save money. Naruto has been living on his own since he was four and he's been in charge of his own budget since then. he is merciless with money because he has to be and thinks that it is a normal thing for children to be capable of since he's doing it just fine after some trial and error. Naruto grudgingly thinks kakashi is smart for trying to foist the bill for ramen off on him every time by disappearing (good way to save money– don't be there when the bill arrives) but ALL of that goodwill evaporates when they go on a mission and kakashi spends the whole budget in the first week. also the image of naruto talking about finances with his teammates in a 'you know how it is' manner in and getting blank fucking stares back is hysterical. however sasuke is in legitimate danger of naruto dragging him through budget boot camp if naruto finds out that sasuke, the fucking clan head-in-waiting of the uchiha, is filthy rich and doesn't know anything about money.

there are three sets of teeth and if you lose an adult tooth you grow it back. this is (unintentionally) kurama's fault actually. naruto ends up with three sets of teeth: useless little baby teeth that he have fully lost by 6, child teeth (which are actually human adult teeth) that are fully lost by 12 and then "adult teeth." "Adult teeth" are nightmarish and are somewhere in between fox and human teeth. and if he loses an adult tooth naruto will grow it back sometime between a week and a month after he lost it.

team seven has never been more confused.

[ellecdc]

to that one anon and anyone else who needs to hear it, something learned throughout this past year is that school is not as important as everyone makes it out to be

i get that it’s hard with parents and stuff, and i’m not just flat out telling everyone to drop out of school on a whim, but i’m just gonna drop my story and if it helps people then so be it!!

for the past 2 years of my life, i was absolutely 100% sure that i wanted to be a mortician. i had an entire five year plan in my head by the time i was 16. everything came crashing down once i went to college. i never did well in school in general on account of pretty severe mental health issues/adhd, and the mortuary program at the school i went to definitely was… not the best to say the least.

i failed every class except one my first semester. i thought it was just the typical fucking around my first semester, then it got worse, and it greatly started to effect my mental health. after a month or two of talking to my mom and my therapist about it, i decided to formally drop out in february. i got a job in the floral department of a grocery store in march, and im starting to realize i genuinely love working with flowers, and it might be what i want to do in the future (plus i don’t have to go back to college for it lol)

but what i’m trying to say is when you first go to higher education you’re still a kid and you’re confused and you’re probably living away from home for the first time and there is a 99% chance you don’t know what you’re doing or what you wanna do!!! and that’s okay!!! you’re also allowed to just work and get life experience for a few years, and go back to school whenever YOURE ready!!! and sometimes you realize school isn’t the answer and that is also okay!! literally no matter what you do you are all going to be fine <33

everything about this *snapping fingers like I'm at a poetry slam*

you go to school because you're supposed to get something out of it - the more it starts taking from you the more you should consider if you're in the right place

you can also always go back to school later if it's super important to you [I'm old as shit and doing another BA, there are no fucking rules when it comes to this!!]

don't force yourself to follow a path/timeline that someone else created - it may not actually be for you at all

[rabbitindisguise]

I think I'm going to socialize less irl (long vent post under the cut)

I feel like I've tried so hard at the Be Normal And Nourished from Normal Hobbies and Normal Interactions but tbh it just has not worked. I have not become neurotypical in the slightest (well, duh, should have expected that) and I feel like I'm struggling extremely badly with literally everything all of the time. Something has to give and I think "something" is "having more time to relax and reflect because I'm not talking to people 5 out of 7 days a week."

The thing is that like, I want to do what works and feels best for me. But I feel like the outside world can't accept "hermit that mainly does stuff by themselves." The alternative however is becoming what seems to be a huge jerk. No one else seems concerned with this, like they think the jerk-ness is an active choice and not one that arrived organically because circumstances despite my attempts at learning coping mechanisms and things to stop it. People will complain about X behavior (reasonable) and then act totally unconcerned when I'm like "look this is happening because I'm literally at the end of my rope. There's no rope left. I need to get more rope. That is the solution. Eating broccoli, no matter how helpful that is, is not going to give me more rope."

We're supposed to be perfect even when we're miserable is the thing isn't it?? Maybe that makes me a bad person (to fail to do "basic decency" in a bad place) but I'd rather be a bad person and antisocial or whatever than an active jerk while attempting doing "normal." This is a very easy decision to make actually.

I just need like a break. Some time to get it together. Idk.

. . . and like, there's so much to unpack form "be normal."

When I was living with other people, I was obsessed with doing chores properly so no one would have reason to be upset with me (because ADHD fears™), and house organizing was always something I deprioritized as something not worth asking for flexibility on, etc. I couldn't set rules and I couldn't stop doing what I felt was useless but crucially I didn't want to get mad at other people about that. So I tried (failed) to manage myself to make that sort of situation possible.

I'm general "doing normal" is "follow conventional health advice like to talk to your friends when you feel bad." Except I feel bad and it doesn't help. Lose/lose.

Who knows what other stuff I've internalized trying to just Do The Magic Thing to become tolerable. I feel like it's an impossible task and people keep congratulating me for trying but I feel like it's not the thing I want to be hearing tbh. Isn't that what everyone wants, to be accepted even when they don't fit societal norms?? "Thank you for trying to not be your weird self" feels icky. They're just trying to be supportive of what I thought was necessary, I know, I just also didn't pull "do normal" out of my ass- it's everywhere. Everyone seems to have an idea of the basic steps someone who isn't good at socializing should do (shower more, sleep more, eat correct things, do hands on hobbies, join clubs, take leadership roles in organizations, practice self help tips, exist in one community for a long time, talk about what other people are interested in, ask questions, practice active listening, assertive communication, setting boundaries, anger management, venting to friends, doing therapy, doing physical activity, etc etc etc). But no one seems to have any idea that sometimes you're just like this. And by "like this" I don't mean socializing- maybe I'll find a balance of something that will work. No, I mean the thing they think is the key to socializing that everyone should do. I cannot physically do all of them- especially when plenty are contradictory.

It's like weight loss right?? You might feel more alone than ever, feel physically ill, and struggle with constant fatigue- but at least from the outside you look normal! :) you did everything possible to carve away the stuff people blamed your problems on only to find that- surprise!- the problems were unrelated and that was one of the few things that made you content to begin with. Where are people then? What advice do they have when it "works" to satisfy them but the cost is too damn high for you? What explanation do they have when the thing they thought all your problems were the source of does not improve your life in any way? If you're only allowed to have problems if you try to look normal, what happens when looking normal becomes one of your problems? Do they take your word on it, that you tried the normal thing and it was uncomfortable. Do they finally stop pressuring you to do the normal stuff. Do they reconsider their priorities. Or were their "suggestions" from a place of not considering your welfare to begin with?

I guess we'll find out.

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

Introduction

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is most definitely a series of films… and shows… and now a multiverse… containing even more films… and shows... Fuck.

Ok, so by now we are all very aware of how fucked the MCU is, right? Like, no one in their right mind would want to compile everything that the MCU references in its multiverse and slap that into a list, and then proceed to watch that list, right? 

So that’s what I did.

I've compiled everything that ties directly into the MCU, or has elements that tie into the MCU. This list contains too many films, shows, short films, and even a couple video games. I shouldn’t do this, but no one is stopping me, so I’m going to.

Ok, so here’s how this list works, it is all digital media that ties into the MCU in one way or another (Usually through the multiverse saga), the exception to this is a film series that makes reference to the MCU, but is not referenced back. I included things attached to this series because I honestly just wanted an excuse to rewatch it. I will tell you what this series is when we get to it. 

Also this list is in order of release, not in MCU timeline order, cos honestly fuck that. This however does result in the funny outcome of I won’t actually be getting to the MCU itself for a while. Everything upfront is stuff that will come back later.

Understood? No? Unstandable, let’s begin.

Except, wait a moment, I got halfway through writing the first review and realised I never explained universe numbers, because of course I didn’t, why the fuck would I have to? Annoyingly, I do, because the universe “Earth-616” is gonna get brought up a lot.

So what is “Earth-616”? It’s the main Marvel comic universe. All Marvel properties are made in relation to the Earth-616 comics.

Every single Marvel property has its own universe number, even the MCU itself has a different universe number, being “Earth-199999”, much to Kevin Feige’s dismay.

And I suppose while your still here I should explain who I am and what I'm actually doing here.

So hi, I'm Teri. I'm a freelance artist and animator, with severely untreated ADHD. I made this list mostly I'm just a Superhero nerd, but also to prove the point that the MCU has fallen into the same trappings as the main Marvel comics; that being it has become to intertwined and overly complicated.

I'm gonna be working on this project slowly, so don't expect me to be rushing out pages and pages of review, especially as there is a lot of content for me to cover. I want to take my time.

Also don't expect these to be true reviews. For the most part this is me just throwing my thoughts out about everything. I can't guarantee it'll be completely coherent.

And I suppose I should cover some ground rules as well regarding interacting with this blog and the blog itself:

Absolutely no bigotry. This includes racism, sexism, homophobia & transphobia. I will not be lenient with the ban hammer.

No being creepy. This includes sexual harassment and nonces. I ain't doing this to get fucked messages.

No being a prick. That is to me or anyone else. let's be civil yeah.

I swear. A lot. I don't apologise for this. If my language upsets you, you're not going to enjoy your time here, I suggest finding somewhere else.

Other than my swearing, I have no intention of upsetting anyone. If I say anything actually offensive, please let me know and I'll get on making changes.

Hopefully, that should be everything covered.

Now, let's actually begin...

[fixomnia-scribble]

Ohh, Elementary School Gym Class is one of my most persistent Buttons, even though I'm nearing fifty years old. This is really just a vent - if I may take a turn in @inkskinned's Memory Circle.

Until I was about eight, I was short but generally average, more sturdy than willowy. I was always strong and flexible, and a fast sprinter, but endurance running is still my kryptonite. I didn't know I had PCOS and I didn't know I had ADHD, two major hurdles that combined to make me short, increasingly chunky, muscly, physically uncoordinated and socially awkward. PE class was a nightmare. Already socially ostracized, I had no shelter here behind intellect or humour or usefulness. Every flaw was exposed.

I was also an early developer, and in my elementary school, girls were not allowed to wear sweatshirts for PE until Grade 7. Tucked-in t-shirts were the rule. The PE teacher was a bona fide perv. We all knew, but we had nothing damning to report. Looking back, several teachers were watching closely. He was very nearly found out at his next school, and died of testicular cancer a few years later. My feelings on this are best described as "nuanced".

Any Canadians out there remember Canada Fitness? This was an annual national child fitness scheme with specific tests for arm and core strength, flexibility, and cardio endurance. We did this in small groups moving around stations in the gym. (Imagine being 12 and having to do push-ups with your perv PE teacher "correcting your form" with his hand on your hip and all your daily tormentors sitting in a circle around you watching. He never did this with the boys.)

The other tests were the Arm Hang (like a static chin up, counted in seconds before you dropped), Curl-Ups (modified sit-ups), a Bench Test for hamstring and spine flexibility, basic push-ups and a long run.

The award system ranged from Participation to Excellence. There was a big-deal badge ceremony for the whole school, and all the Golds and Excellences got called up. Everyone else got their badges in their classrooms later.

You'd think there would have to be some formula to assign badges, with everyone's different scores on each test. Nope. The last event at the end of the day was the Endurance Run. Whatever you got on that run was the badge you got.

Year after year, I would score Excellence across the board - sometimes repeating the tests because the teacher didn't believe the first result - except for the run. Year after year, I'd get called up in front of my sniggering class (I wasn't imagining it: they would get shushed my my lovely classroom teacher) to receive a bright red Participation badge. Did any of them remember I'd beaten most of their scores? No. If they did, it was all the more delightful to them to see. And when I tried to question the PE teacher on the unfairness of it all, I was lectured on the importance of Having A Goal To Work Towards, Being A Good Sport And Celebrating Others' Successes, and told that all I had to do was lose the extra weight and everything in my life would be fine, which I'm sure is a surprise to nobody here.

So yes: PE trauma is a real damn thing.

I spent a couple of terms in England as a kid, and while we had Games twice a week, that meant Football for the boys and Netball for the girls. It's like a mashup of volleyball and basketball, and requires teamwork and accuracy and sudden bursts of strength more than anything. Because that was all we did, we had a chance to improve. I still get shivers down my spine remembering the sensation of realizing I can do this I'm good at this they like me playing with them. That did me so much good...

in hindsight, the american public school idea of gym class was both absolutely buckwild and also incredibly ableist. i have a degree in education, and the more time i spend away from being a student, the less the concepts espoused there make any sense to me.

i was dancing ballet somewhere between 3-5 days a week, but i have never been a good runner. i have asthma and, at the time, i had horrible shin splints. yet running was seen as the only indicator of my health. my teacher fucking hated me for my lack of sprinter's interest here, like i was doing it to spite him. he thought that asthma was something "only for kids", like i was faking a wracking cough just so i could be "lazy" and "get away with it".

we weren't trained how to run safely. we often ran with bad form in sneakers that didn't quite fit. we were required to be able to ace this test once a year, immediately, with no follow-up or practicing. the rest of the year, gym class was a waste of time and energy. even kids who liked gym liked it because it was useless in entirety.

maybe he hated me because i was one of those students who shouldn't have struggled. i was pretty fit. during the sit-up test, i outpaced the other kids. corework is incredibly important to dancers, so i found the sit-up test easy. my teacher didn't take down my first result. he said, i've seen how you run, no way your number is that high. i explained i dance, he snorted and said you hardly have the body of an athlete and made me do the test again to be sure i wasn't "cheating". when i still passed, he said so you don't bother running just because you're a little rebel, huh? i bet you just like making men angry.

we had these sweat-covered wooden boxes to test our hamstring flexibility. you'd sit down, put your feet against a board, and push a slider away from your body. we had 3 turns to pass the test. on the first turn, my teacher watched as i gently pushed the slider to the end of the row instead of shoving myself forcefully over my toes. he said don't be rude, take the test seriously. i said - "okay, but i clearly can pass the test, i don't want to force my muscles. sudden movements aren't good form." he said i was going to get a detention at this rate. that he knew it was going to be a fight with you, it always is. you like the attention because you don't get it at home, huh?

i was 14, and i was annoyed and embarrassed, and i didn't handle it well. so i did as requested. i made my hands into a little diamond and shoved, just the way he wanted. the slider snapped off due to the amount of sudden force. i hit the end of the row so hard the test just fucking broke. i was sitting there, shocked by what was a legitimate accident: and this dude goes white and then red in the face. this is one of the only times in my life i got sent to the principal. he said she is vindictive and broke school property. malicious. noncompliant. for gym that year, i skirted by with an ugly "barely passing" D+.

and i was lucky. for once in my life, my parents were extremely chill about the whole thing. they saw the grade and just laughed about it. they were paying for me to go to dance class 4 hours a day, they knew exactly how fit i was. the principal tried to explain it to them, annoyed with their dismissal: i clearly wasn't healthy. he made sure they knew i wasn't an athlete, because dance is not a sport. i had to run the mile three times that year, to "make up" for my lack of effort. i walked it slow on purpose.

and i just... don't get it. in no other class would the lack of accommodations or training be appropriate. yes, you should know certain things leaving a class, but nobody expects you to be able to recite the whole biology textbook by the third month. nobody particularly expects you to pass a test if the teacher has literally never taught it. imagine if in english, you had a random test on vocabulary, and when you said these are just random words you never taught us. it isn't a good indicator of my reading level, writing, or of my reading comprehension - you were told: well it's most of your grade, but it's not that fucking hard, is it?

it is not a class about how to cook or how to help yourself balance your diet or how to run or how to get good at stretching or how to stay agile or how to do cool gymnastics or how to listen to your body or how to watch for injury or how to treat chronic pain or how to safely use weights. it was an hour of my life where i would be bullied with the teacher's permission. i look back at this thing and i just... i don't get it. while art teachers and english teachers are struggling for any funding - gym is just. protected under the idea it is somehow helping america... stay "fit". they make us run a mile and then say "great, we've measured your health" ... and then that's just... it.

as i was teaching the other day, i mentioned the fitnessgram pacer test to my kids. they're 19, are in college. many of them haven't been in gym class for a few years. i wish you could have been there to see their reaction. it was like i reminded them of their worst nightmare. we had to derail the conversation just so each person could go around the room and say their horror story about it. and each person had a horror story.

these days, i'm doing well. i love how strong i am, when i can be strong and my heart don't act up. i still dance at least 3 times a week. i have a performance on saturday, actually. but before you ask - no, i never learned to run. i don't really want to either, because it's just not good for my particular body.

so i guess, according to them - that makes me unhealthy.

[homesweetgoodneighbor]

Lemme tell you, my darlings, there is no shame in asking for help. None. Especially if the thing you're needing help with affects you in emotional or physical ways. And, that could be asking friends for aid or scraping the money together to hire some aid.

Spouse and I are okay financially. Not rich by any means, but things came together Just Right that we were able to buy our house. Now, granted, that sucked away a lot of our buffer in the bank and it takes at least 6 months to a year to stabilize a budget after a major life change.

Now, when I move, I have a tendency to go into nesting mode and just clean EVERYTHING. I hate cleaning as a rule. I mean, I do it, but it takes a lot of battling my executive dysfunction just to get small things done, so it's exhausting as a result. But, when I move, I tend to get a sudden burst of "MUST CLEANSE IT ALL AND MAKE IT MINE."

Except, this time, the day we were finishing up moving from the old place, I got the call about my mom going into the hospital...

...and she didn't come out.

Now, being in mourning on top of my seasonal depression over the most hellish summer I have ever experienced in my life thus far AND my general ADHD/anxiety has made it where I do the exact minimum it takes to keep the house in a healthy state, but gods does it need that kind of spring/fall cleaning that I just can't do right now.

And, it has killed me. It is bothering me to no end. I feel like I failed. It has been a constant source of anxiety no matter how much Spouse assures me it's okay. Yes, he does share the chores, but he also works all day, so I feel bad that I haven't accomplished this. It is literally a sword I'm holding over my own head.

So, I made sure we had the budget, and I called a cleaning service to come in for an estimate on a deep clean.

I know most neurotypicals would be like "you could save the money and do it yourself". Right now? This year? After also losing a cousin I was very close to, after an entire summer of hellish heat that I barely was able to function? No, no I can not. Not without help.

I don't have many friends here anymore since I was gone for 15 years. I don't have a local network I can lean on for aid. I'm rebuilding one, but it takes a lot of time. Besides, I have the means, so there is literally zero reason why I shouldn't do it.

Just scheduling the estimate for the job lifted an enormous weight off me. It's not even a guarantee we will take it, but just knowing someone else can come in and say "Oh yeah, we can do this within your budget" has hit me with ridiculous amounts of seratonin.

People who have never been poor just do not understand what it's like when you can do something like this after never being able to before. People who are neurotypical just don't fucking understand that asking for help when you need it is not a fucking failure in itself.

Doing this will give us a significant improvement on our mental health, not to mention I'm a fucking wiz at keeping up with things once it's cleaned and organized. I just get severely overwhelmed when it comes to getting it there. And, I promise you, with this off my shoulders, it will give me back that energy that is wasted on this anxiety and allow me to do the other things I've been wanting to do.

So, yeah, that whole Boomer bullshit of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"? It's just that, bullshit. Their excuses don't hold up these days, and it's a pretty fucking cruel way of refusing to help someone.

Humans got this far by helping each other. Do not ever feel like you failed because you need help, even if it's help you have to pay for.

[bonsaisheep]

My experience starting ADHD meds (for the first time) as an adult:

So I started ADHD meds recently. I contacted my doctor in early December, and spent the next month or so trying to figure out the right medication and dosage via basically weekly doctor’s appointments (online). Since there was a lot I found out after starting the meds that are apparently common experiences, I figure it might help to talk about my experience with all of this.

So I am medicated for my ADHD for the first time in my life at 27. There were two attempts when I was a kid, but neither of them worked out. The first when I was in fourth grade (I was diagnosed somewhere between first and third grade, I can’t quite remember), it was decided the side effects were not worth it, and a second attempt in middle school, but I refused to take it since I bought into a lot of the BS around brain meds. Its only in the last few years as I have learned more about ADHD have I learned exactly how it is effecting me. I managed to do well enough in high school to get into a good college (after doing really poorly in jr high). Managed to get an engineering degree (in 4 years with research, I was hella burnt out by the end of that) and managed to get (and hold) a job as an engineer shortly after college. Basically, since I could at lest fake functional and manage well enough (mostly because I was taught a ton of coping mechanisms by my parents as a kid), I just, never realized how much it effects me. I have been living an interesting and fulfilling life (as long as you ignore my mail bathtub).

After learning more and realizing that it was my ADHD was the source of a lot of the frustrations and struggles (I am basically a human checklist of the symptoms), I started to consider medication. The biggest reason for me is that I wanted to be able to focus on my own hobbies. I am incapable of hyper-fixating on anything that involves sitting down (or like, in general I am really bad at sitting down). I put off doing anything about if for years because well... executive dysfunction is a thing. It is really because of my roomate I finally went through with getting on mediation. This summer I moved in with a couple of close friends, one of which is also a cis women with ADHD who was diagnosed in elementary school. After not being interested in medication herself for most of her life, she recently decided to pursue it after some long conversations with another of our roomate’s girlfriend (I am one of 7 people in my friend group with diagnosed ADHD). Basically it was an accountability thing. We both held each other accountable for contacting our doctors.

Ok so after that very long introduction, what exactly are my experiences then? One of the things that surprised me was that I didn’t really run into too many barriers regarding getting on meds. In my case, I just talked to my general practitioner and she was like cool, lets start with XYZ. She actually didn’t want my original diagnosis since it was so old that she felt like any proposed plan would be out of date. (This is compared to my roommate who had to get a copy of her original diagnosis and even then her doctor was mostly comfortable prescribing meds because she is in talk therapy). (Though she has also pointed out I have been seeing my doctor for a bit now and therefor have a repor with her compared to her own doctor who was basically randomly assigned to her by her insurance and she met for the first time (online) when she contacted him to discuss meds)

I was originally prescribed Wellbutrin, a common off lable option for ADHD (it is a non stimulant, and by extension less bad side effects). My doctor wanted to go with it due to my really bad anxiety since it could potentially help with both. Unfortunately it made my anxiety way worse and I had a panic attack for the first time in years so we quickly stopped it and switched to other options. The next thing we tried (which is what I am now on) was extended release adderall. This is the most common stimulant prescribed to adults with ADHD. From what my doctor was saying, it is preferred for adults since it lasts all day (and with pretty even effects), it helps cover both work and the evening since most adults have additional responsibilities in the evening. In my case, due to how I responded to the Wellbutrin she also wanted to make sure I was on something that would not spike my dopamine. When messing with the dosage, I found that the amount that seems to help is also the amount that make my insomnia worse, so I am take a slightly lower dosage of the extended release, and make up the small difference using the short release.

Regarding side effects, the two noticeable ones that did not go away after a week (I initially had problems with a high heart rate, but that went away after a few days) are thirst and hunger suppressant. There is not much I can do about constantly being thirsty other then drink a ton of water. I was able to talk to a friend about the hunger thing, so I was able to implement quite a few tips and tricks that help me eat something during the day.

The two odd side effects I was not expecting is that caffeine actually effects me now and I also have way less of a sweet tooth. My doctor warned me about the caffeine thing, and my coffee drinking has really gone down. I went from at least two cups a day to a mug of half caff in the morning (I can’t cut it out entirely due to withdraw symptoms (so you know addition)). Regarding the sweets, I don’t know if I crave sugur less, or if it is improved impulse control. A good portion of my impulse control issue revolve around food so I am unsure.

Also I am running into a thing a friend was telling me about. The meds help you focus end of statement. This means you can end up focusing on things you don’t want to be focusing on.

As for the positives, well, I guess I was expecting more. I knew that meds weren’t some magic bullet and I was still going to need to use all of my coping mechanisms, but I guess I thought that the focus issues, would, just go away. But this is not how meds work. The way my roommate’s girlfriend describes it is that it gives you 15% more spoons, and that makes a ton of difference (for some people, this can be the difference between stuff like being able to hold a job). It is also really hard to tell if your meds are working. I texted a friend asking about how to tell, and he basically told me that it was the million dollar question (meaning there is no clean answer). Honestly, I still don’t know for sure if they are working or if I am just saying that. Part of it is that i literally can’t remember what I act like or feel when I am not on meds (and if I take a break for a day, vice versa). I am currently going with the assumption they are though.

For me, what I have been finding is that while I still get distracted from tasks I don’t like, I return to them faster. So rather then getting bored, getting on my phone and like, fucking around for a long time. I might just briefly check social media and then return to my task (meaning I get more done faster). I have also found it is making the executive dysfunction way easier for me. It is still difficult to start tasks, but, it takes distinctly less energy to do so meaning I generally start tasks sooner, or in some cases, do them at all to begin with. It helps curb some of my impulse control issues, mostly around stuff like food and impulse purchases of going out for lunch or coffee. It might be helping with the emotional dysregulation, but I have a hard time gauging that one. It’s just making things a bit easier, and well, that goes a long way.

More importantly, I am achieving my original goal. I am more able to focus on my hobbies and interest. I am starting to return to robotics, and it is already going better then when I tried it out as a teenager. I don’t know how well this will work out in the long run, but I am cautiously optimistic.

TLDR: I am not quite sure how to summarize, but if you know people on ADHD meds and are considering them (or are otherwise not on them and want to know more), it is probably worthwhile to have a conversation about them.

[librius]

okay so, being a gamer, ive finally taken the plunge and began playing skyrim. ive owned it for a while and just havent opened it until maybe a month ago. Such is life with adhd

another thing about me is i Love fucking with mods. i mod minecraft, i mod the sims, i mod stardew valley, hell im in the process of modding code vein. so Of Course im gonna fuck around with skyrim mods

my main goal with mods in a game i havent played before is to keep it as close to the original game until im satisfied w my First Experience. so what that means for skyrim is mostly ui, mesh, and texture mods to make everything look better

a side effect of mesh and texture mods is. Well. 🍆. but i downloaded a mod that puts underwear on corpses after i loot people so its not an issue when i play in public. not every skyrim npc Has to be free willying it right?? right.

so im playing skyrim, occassionally theres a bit of tiddy when i take off my armor, but its fine im a khajiit so theres not even any nipple (did you know there are mods out there thatll give you 6 nipples? Wild) and aside from that everyone else is clothed (or underweared if i steal their armor) so it hasnt been a problem

in skyrim theres a questline called the saints and seducers, which is about 2 groups of bandits you have to go fight. after you murder them all (and they misgender you in a note like me if youre using pronoun mods that arent Quite perfect too) you learn about this guy theyre all working for named thoron

eventually you learn that thoron has gone Mad, leading to the creation of these groups yada yada story and plotline you have to go kill this weirdo whos living in the sewers of one of the biggest cities in skyrim

well i go down to fight this guy, killing bugs and enemies and learning just how Paranoid and Mad With Magic this man has gotten, and i see him

Facing away from me, arms up in the air like the emoticon going \o/ casting magic on a sword

Ass. Out.

and i go "huh! What A Strange Choice for the skyrim devs to have made! it really accentuates his insanity though! i dont think ive seen an npc like this before"

i shoot him with an arrow, as one does. and he turns around.

Oh. This man is Mister Free Willy.

the skyrim devs put him in rags, which is the default "undressed" outfit. understand? and mr willy here has a secret

Thoron Can Not Be Put In Underwear

This Is The Penis Wizard, and he has been created of my own disregard for the rules that have been placed upon the land of skyrim

The Penis Wizard Is A Folly Of One Specific Catboy, Me

not to mention, he killed me so many times as i tried to kill this poor, nude (except for his helmet of madness!), man. he refused to be stopped from preforming his magic in the way nature intended

the only way i could eventually beat him, was by getting so close and hitting him with a mace so fast so many times in a row that he could not cast his magic. and mr free willy was there the Whole Time

my underwear mod couldnt even catch up After i killed him and stole his ring of nakedness, the Penis Wizard was cold, dead, and most importantly: had his penis out

i tried flipping him over to try and preserve his modesty, but skyrim physics leave much to be desired when positioning corpses.

and so, in the dark, damp, overgrown sewers of solitude, lies the body of Penis Wizard, forever cock out until the end of time

told story about. Penis Wizard today

[yourdeepestfathoms]

So I have this concept, but it has to do with eating that may be seen as unhealthy. Not disordered eating or anything, it doesn’t involve topics like purging, but just bad eating practices, specifically ones enforced by parents. So if you have an issue with that, skip this post!

Ocean’s parents are big on no waste, and that rule is especially prevalent in food. When they make a meal, they except everything to be eaten.

This rule has sort of screwed Ocean over at times.

She’s had to spend hours at the dinner table before, not allowed to leave because she didn’t finish her supper. It’s so emotionally stressful in the worst way because she could be doing so many other things, but she CAN’T because she’s essentially trapped at this goddamn table until she can finish eating. So she starts to worry that she’ll fall behind on work, which upsets her even more.

And then the ADHD, which we all know she has, it’s SO OBVIOUS. She has no stimulation at this table, there’s literally nothing to do except glare at her plate, so she starts to get understimulated. Understimulation begins to overwhelm her further. She tries to entertain herself by messing with her dinner, but that just gets her snapped at by her parents for “playing with her food.”

She basically has two choices: wait it out and hope that her parents finally just give in or force herself to eat so she can get away from this horrible situation. She ends up choosing the latter almost every time this happens because she can’t bear the thought of being at this table all night long. So, she gets herself to eat and deals with the consequences later because at least now she can go do whatever she wants.

That being said, as Ocean has gotten older, she has made sure to NEVER bite off more than she can chew (pun intended). She is CHECKING the portion size of any and EVERY meal she gets to make sure she can eat it all, and if she can’t, then she’s eating it anyway because her parents rule of “no wasting” has been permanently ingrained in her head. She doesn’t purge it afterwards or anything like that, she just deals with a stomachache if she happens to get one.

Quite often, though, she ends up getting too little to eat and is still hungry afterwards, but she’s afraid that if she gets anything else, she won’t be able to finish it all.

As a result, she tends to share her food whenever she can. Because if she gives her food to someone else when she knows she can’t finish it on her own, it’s technically not a waste! It’s still being eaten! Also she’ll steal food from her friends’ plates if she’s still hungry after eating.

[dick-nightwing-grayson]

The batfam as what soda/pop they order when they eat out

Dick: Root beer- Rootbeer has no caffeine. As I am certain Dick has ADHD, I am sure he does not want the caffeine to slow him down. Dick was raised in a circus and the overly saccharine taste of root beer makes him think of his younger years. No one else understands why Dick does this as it is not remotely close to satiating a thirst after salty fries and a greasy burger, but he refuses any other kind

Jason: Mr. Pibb - Jason rarely drinks soda and only does so on the go. His fave is Mr. Pibb. He grew up poor and on the streets so name brand Dr. Pepper is too bougie for him. He is a simple man and Mr. Pibb it is.

Tim: Diet Coke- Tim only drinks Diet Coke when he goes out. If a waiter states they have Diet Pepsi instead and asks if that is okay he promptly says no, much to the annoyance of everyone with him, and will protest by ordering water. He is never rude about it, it is just what he likes. Everyone has tried to convince him to get Diet Pepsi, but he insists it is not the same and is too sweet to compliment a meal properly. WE always makes sure to keep the vending machine closest to his office stocked

Stephanie: Diet coke/Diet whatever- Stephanie is not particular, and despite what people assume of her, she isn't actually a huge fan of sweets or soda. She will always order a diet coke, but unlike Tim, she is flexible. She grew up poor and was often just given whatever was cheapest. She is ammenable

Cass: anything- Cass never got to have soda or fast food or even eat at restaurants. She will always follow the order of who ever she likes the most that day. Stephanie picked up on this amd often makes fun recommendations or even suggests mixes of 2 sodas together. Cass so far has loved everything she has tried, except grape soda. She hates grape soda

Duke: lemonade/tea/powerade- Duke was never allowed carbonated beverages when he was growing up. He keeps this rule even now as an adult because if his parents ever do come back from the joker gas, he wants them to know he listened and didn't change (too much)

Barbara: Dr. Pepper/Diet Dr. Pepper- Wait, or was it Diet Dr. Pepper? She can never taste the difference. She enjoys it the most, but also likes to tout that it isn't owned by the CocaCola company or Pepsi and feels like she is doing her part to not support the big 2

Damian: Sprite- Bruce said he could not have caffeine and wasn't even supposed to drink soda in the first place, yet this is somehow the compromise they landed on. He particularly likes the McDonald's crispy kind

Bruce: Coke- Bruce rarely drinks soda, but if he is going to, it will be coke. It is what he has always had and what he will always choose.

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Bedroom Cleaning Checklist

I have discovered that I don't need cleaning tips. (Well, I do, but more for efficiency than for getting the thing done in the first place.) I need a checklist. But ADDitude mag really seems geared towards parents of ADHD kids, and there aren't very many posts about cleaning with ADHD on tumblr, so I decided to try my hand at making a checklist that I can find so I don't have to rewrite it every time, and maybe then y'all can use it and modify it to fit your needs.

Start with your clothes! You got dirty clothes on the floor? Clean clothes? Put them where they belong! Generally, I recommend tossing everything in the hamper unless you know that everything that's ended up on the floor lately is wearable at least one more time before you wash it. It just makes it easier when I can either put all the clothes away or put all the clothes in the hamper and don't have to try to decide.

Now put away any extra hangers you still have out!

Put shoes where shoes go.

This is probably where I'm going to make my bed, because I don't really put anything except clothes on my bed and bedding being on the floor actually takes up a lot of space and makes the mess look bigger than it is. If there's still stuff on your bed, that's okay! Just do this step a little bit later!

Put the books where the books go, whether that's a bookshelf, your windowsill, or your desk. Don't put them on your desk unless they actually belong there, though, otherwise you're just adding to the clutter that you're going to have to deal with later.

Now divide up your room into sections! I consider my room to have five sections: the corner by the door, the corner by the closet, the corner by the window, and the wall-y-est corner, which all meet in the center of the room (so it's not just the corner, it's like that entire quarter of the room), and my desk is a separate section. If you need smaller sections, do smaller sections! If you need bigger sections, do bigger sections! Whatever works for you.

Start with your first section. (I recommend doing your desk either first or last, because it keeps the "floor" sections all together. First is good if you want to use open desk space to store things you're not sure what to do with, but the downside is that you might forget about it and end up with a desk that's more cluttered than before. I'm going to do my desk last for this exact reason.) Pick up anything that you know you can put away with the "one touch" rule. This is a rule my mom introduced to me that basically says once you pick up a thing, don't put it down until you put it away--don't touch the same object more than once. One touch!

Do the second section and follow the "one touch" rule, and do that with all of your sections. For me I like to do things very cyclically, so what's probably going to happen is I'll start in the door corner and move counter clockwise around my room (since my bed makes a barrier between my door corner and my wall corner the clockwise direction).

You may have noticed that I only told you to put away the things you can with the "one touch" rule. That's because sometimes there are things that you don't know what to do with, and if you keep picking it up and moving it from section to section it'll never get put away. So this is where you start from the beginning and go around your room again, and really think about where the thing should go. Does it actually belong to you? If not, give it back. Is it useful to you? If not, hand it down or donate it. Do you really want to keep it? If not, hand it down or donate it. Do you have room for it? If not, hand it down or donate it. (Yes, the solution to the "no" answers for those questions is repetitive--I find that even if I answer all those questions "no", I have to think about donating it because emotional dysregulation=too much sentimental value placed on mundane objects=keeping everything. Definitively saying "actually, don't keep that" is important for me, and it might be important for you too.)

You also may have noticed that I haven't actually mentioned trash yet? That's because even though it's important for hygiene and cleanliness to get rid of trash, it can be overwhelming digging through all of that other stuff. Now that you've put everything else away, though, you don't have to dig! Take a trash bag and go around your room and throw away what needs to go away.

Now do all the most intense things: dusting, vacuum, sweep (why do you not have carpets in your bedroom, you heathen? /j)

Now that I have a checklist I can use the tips people have recommended to make it easier for me. Things like:

you don't have to do it all in one day if it stresses you out, you can break it up however you need to (unless you're really in a crunch)

set a timer, pick up x things, or finish one whole section before taking a break

alternatively, if executive dysfunction makes it difficult to start, set a timer for the amount of time you feel like you can clean for, even if it's only a minute, and see how you feel after that timer is up--if you can keep going or need a break

listen to podcast or music and use that to choose when your breaks will be

make a game out of it, I mean who doesn't play basketball with their laundry?

[dreamsclock]

god dream who doesn't need to eat or drink to stay alive being stuck in a sensory deprivation chamber by sam for months. puffy finally finds out and lets him out, but when he goes outside, the whisper of ind is eardrum shatteringly loud and grass feels like nails being dug into his feet. everything is constantly too much and no one has any clue how to ease him back into normal sensations past putting him back in another restricting box.

i had to write this, god dream au is my JAM !!! this is super scattered and all over the place (bad adhd day smh) but have almost 1k words of post-prison dream angst :D this is dark content, please be careful while reading !!

warnings: pandora’s vault themes, mental illness, madness, overstimulation/being overwhelmed, burning, pain, sensory deprivation, trauma, physical trauma, emotional trauma, mental deterioration, emotional shutdown, relapse (into unhealthy thoughts), unhealthy coping mechanisms

They put him in another box.

This one is slightly bigger and far less distressing than the first, but Dream is still overwhelmed. The slightest change in texture under his feet makes him cringe, the tiniest difference in light sources is disorienting, and it takes him days to be able to move from further than one corner, days before he can even begin to explore the tiny world he’s been given.

The carpet under his feet doesn’t hurt like the boiling hot obsidian, but somehow it’s worse: like thousands of tiny needles are pricking at the damaged nerves of his feet: walking becomes even more arduous than it had already been, and quick movement is, for now, a hard no. He steers away from the juke box in the corner (it has one disk in it, Blocks, and it feels like a taunt more than a comfort) and from the tiny window up high enough he can’t jump out (not that he has any intentions of trying: the outside world isn’t kind to him) for fear of being hit with that crippling overwhelming overstimulation again. It’s the last thing that he wants.

“Do you think you’re getting better?” Someone - not Sam, never Sam, who is being kept far away from him for both of their sakes (mostly Dream’s). Dream stares at them, blankly. They don’t realise there is no getting better from all of this. There is no bouncing back, there is no ‘better’ - there’s rock bottom, and there’s digging down further.

The worst part is how people treat him now, like he’s glass and seconds away from shattering at the slightest wrong move. Tommy is kept far away (something he is both relieved and disappointed by) as are Tubbo and Ranboo, but Puffy visits every day. It’s exhausting. She looks at him with enough pity that it makes him want to shout, scream, something, it makes him want to beg to the world to look at me properly look at me like you did before like I’m the monster under your bed and the villain in your story please I can’t take anything else stop pitying me please please please—

He doesn’t say any of this. She tries to offer him therapy sessions. Dream shuts down in every sense of the word and it takes hours before he can even pull himself out of the dog in his mind enough to refuse. Puffy doesn’t ask again, and she skips a day visiting him.

(It’s relief and terror that hits him upon this realisation. What if she never comes again?)

(He doesn’t know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.)

But she does, and the world continues to turn. And Dream adjusts to his box, his new life — he learns the rules and boundaries and sticks to them, except from when he’s desperate for company or desperate to feel the familiar burn of being hurt or both, and he learns what makes the others happy and acts accordingly. Puffy likes it when he opens up, so Dream pretends, telling her exactly what she wants to hear in a soft, raspy voice that makes her smile that makes him want to punch a hole in the wall.

Stop trying to fix me, is what he wants to say, but only averts his gaze instead, I don’t want you to.

Because he doesn’t want to be fixed. He wants to go back to how things were before, when people hated him and when people thought he deserved to be in Pandora’s Box. How is he supposed to cope now, when people treat him so differently? Who is he to them? Not a friend, not an enemy — the lack of a role makes him want to start screaming. 

(The story continues on without him, and he hates it.)

(The story is supposed to be over now.)

“Do you think you’re getting better?” Puffy asks him one day.

Dream can’t meet her eyes. (Eye contact only means someone is close enough to hurt him.) “Yes,” he tells her, and she’s happy with his lies.

And he knows deep down that the lies can’t last. Puffy is trying to prepare him for being introduced into normal life again, and when the time comes, he knows no amount of lying or repressing is going to prepare him for that. It would pay for him to be honest.

So he lies. Because, he realises, he doesn’t want to leave. This is his normal now - a sixteen square foot box with limited view of the outside world and cut off from everyone who could hurt him. Dream is immensely grateful for every kindness shown to him, and displays his gratitude by self destructing and lashing out in hopes they’ll stop.

(The more kindness given to him, the more kindness that can be taken away from him. He’s learned that by now.)

“Do you think you’re getting better?”

Dream smiles. It’s a hollow, vacant thing, flitting over the shadows of his face and deepening the emptiness.

“I do,” he agrees, and thinks maybe if he tells himself that enough, he’ll begin to believe it, “I am.”

In his nightmares, he’s back in the prison. In his nightmares, he dies, over and over, never escaping the prison.

(When he wakes up, sometimes he he thinks he prefers it.)

[witchthewriter]

Hey I saw your requests are open and that you might be open to doing Ships. Could I please get a ship for Lord of the Rings and maybe Stranger Things if it's not too much trouble (except I only really like Eddie but it feels weird to ask for a ship specifically with him, so I'm going to leave that up to you ;-;)

I'm bisexual - my entire sexuality and gender identity both boil down to "eh, why not?" if that makes sense. I'm also on the Autism spectrum and have ADHD. I can get really nervous pretty easily but I'm a really fun person when I'm comfortable. Just play D&D with me and I'll start breaking out the dirty jokes. I have wild Eddie Munson hair, wear glasses, am pretty slender and actually pretty androgynous looking. I'm pursuing becoming a writer for TV and cartoons but I just applied to work at a d&d shop in the meantime (very on brand). I love making jokes and puns, and I'm really good at comforting people and giving advice too. I've been told I'm "wise beyond my years" but I have no self preservation whatsoever. High wisdom low intelligence. My ideal partner is basically just an absolute best friend I can also kiss. I'm pretty hyperactive and most of my speech is infodumping but need to take naps a lot haha. I'm helpful, creative, enthusiastic, open, sarcastic and stubborn. I love helping my friends more than anything.

Thank you so so much, I hope you have a great week!! Take care of yourself and drink lots of water okay? Keep being awesome 😎

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋

Hi lovely! Thank you so much for participating, your blog is amazing. I hope we can be friends and mutuals!🍄I actually do need to drink more water, I won't lie... I have a 2 litre bottle next to my desk so I'm getting better at it. And thank you for saying that, YOU take care, you're so lovely xx

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒉��𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏: ⋆ Creative/Imaginative ⋆ Good-hearted ⋆ Kind ⋆ Friendly ⋆ Bold

𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Eowyn! Oh god I can just imagine the absolute POWER you two would have together. She would defend you in ALL things and love you with her whole being.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Touching foreheads before anything dangerous - eyes closed, just taking in each other.

・She loves your stories, your ideas - your very mind. She's absolutely taken with how you think about things. Your creativity makes her life more interesting and she loves you for it

・Helping her dress in the morning and moving her hair to get to the clasps at the back. Like that is such an intimate moment

・She would LOVE buying you books, and has probably traded important things for them

・She cannot stop smiling when around you

・She would happily stay home with you, or if you wanted - she would go out. She just wants to be wherever you are!

・Relationship Tropes:

✧ Mutual Pining From Afar

✧ A Flustered Blushing Mess x Even More of a Flustered Blushing Mess

✧ Badass Battle Couple

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Eddie Munson - and NO NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM MOST. I honestly think you two would be such an awesome couple. Like absolute best friends; you're two peas in a pod. He would absolutely love you; your personality (especially the high wisdom, low intelligence... you two are pure chaos)

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He would absolutely LOVE talking DnD stuff with you - bouncing ideas off of you but ultimately not letting you see what he's coming up with. Because you most DEFINITELY come to Hellfire.

・Him teaching you how to play guitar, and you teaching him about writing and basically everything you know. Like can you imagine creating a story with Eddie?? It would be so much FUN

・Coming up with your own lingo and phrases together. And randomly saying them in public, "HUZZAH!"

・Nerding out over Lord of the Rings! He would LOVE that you loved the series. That there's someone else that he could talk to about it. You guys are just gushing over each other the first time you find out the other likes the series.

・SO MUCH HAND HOLDING

・ He would def randomly lick you and bite you (and it's not even in a sexual way)

・Making funny faces at each other

・Trying to make the other laugh in a serious moment

・Loving his loud personality - he would make you feel so safe

・ Relationship Tropes:

✧ Elusive Chaotic Duo

✧ Dumb + Dumber (I don't mean this as an insult - you guys just have such similar outlooks that you get caught up in each other's ideas)

✧ Just Two Nerds Nerding Out About Nerd Stuff

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Swimming With the Sharks - Kellex x Reader

Prompt: could you do one where like r has severe adhd and her team moms are having to make sure she doesn’t get hurt? you can pick the team moms

“So I’m thinking we go swimming with sharks for our day off,” Y/N mentioned briefly at supper the night before the teams day off.

“Yes!” Sonnett agrees loudly from across the table.

“Sonny don’t encourage her,” Alex tried to end this conversation, having a good guess of where it would lead to. Y/N had a tendency go a little over board when she had too much free time. Free time in Hawaii during camp this time.

“Yea Y/N, those are a waste anyway, you aren’t guaranteed to see sharks anyway,” Kelley added, siding with Alex.

“See, I’ve thought about that. You can’t chum the water, but there’s no rules about accidentally cutting yourself before you get in the water,” Y/N replied, putting air quotes on accidentally.

“Y/N! No!” Alex immediately put a stop to her thought process.

“You are definitely not going now,” Kelly added.

Everyone else at the table shocked by Y/N idea, incredulous at the suggestion.

“Fun wreckers,” Y/N slumped back in her chair, arms crossed with a pout on her face.

“Why don’t we just go to the beach and swim?” Kelley suggested, not wanting to see her pseudo daughter upset.

“Yes! There’s a perfect place I found online!” Y/N perked back up at the idea. “There’s a cliff not far off from the beach that’s supposed to be ideal for cliff diving!”

“Y/N!” Alex cut off again.

“Are you trying to get hurt?” Kelley prompted.

“Of course not! That just sounds like fun stuff to do while we’re off. Maybe there will be sharks where we cliff dive!”

“Alright, Y/N even I think that’s excessive,” Sonnett chimed in.

“They must be bad ideas if Sonny is saying there bad ideas kiddo,”Kelley chuckled.

“Hey!” the blonde defended protested. “Actually, I mean, yea,” she trailed off with a shrug.

The youngsters two peas in a pod, both usually back and forth with obscure ideas of what to do for days off. Alex and Kelley always stepping in to prevent any significant harm. Y/N usually needed plenty to keep her occupied, her ADHD preventing her from being stagnant for too long. Normally between practices and fitness there wasn’t much time for her too get too distracted or the opportunity to find the adrenaline high situations like  she suggested.

“Why don’t we hit the beach, rent some kayaks, do a little exploring in some of the coves around the beach?” Alex suggested, hoping to distract Y/N from the use of cliff diving or winning with sharks.

“Yea kiddo, let’s save the dangerous stuff for after camp at least,” Kelley added, knowing where her wife was going with the idea. Knowing the young soccer player would still need something to occupy the adrenaline junky in her. That in combination with her ADHD could end up being dangerous. Y/N not always fully thinking things through before doing it.

The next morning found the group at the beach, majority of the team tag in along. Y/N already well ahead of everyone, ready to go rent kayaks and explore some. Sonnett not far behind her. Kelley quickly behind the two before they could get too ahead of the crew.

After getting everyone organized, the shop attendant gave them suggestions about where to go for the best places to explore along the reef.

“It’s totally safe along the along the way, follow the reef and the water current, it will bring you around and back to here,” the attendant said before sending the group on their way.

Y/N already well ahead of the group, dipping and out of the coves along the way.

“Guys! We should go white water kayaking! There’s got to be some white water around here somewhere!” Y/N quickly whipped the kayak around to face everyone, just barely keeping herself upright.

“Let’s save that for another day kiddo,” Kelley suggested, catching up to the youngster.

The group continued along the suggested route, Alex and Kelley reminding Y/N to stay with the group and not go further in any of the caves.

Y/N separated from the group at a  larger curve in the reef. Seeing an interesting looking cave, Y/N glanced back to ensure she still had space from the group, she paddled into it. Y/N looked around, getting distracted.

“Y/N, I swear if you went in that gave we are leaving you here!” Alex yelled as they approached.

Startled, Y/N tried to turn her kayak around quickly, only to tip over. Y/N flipped her kayak over, right side up, now obviously soaked, she quickly made her way out of the cave to meet up the rest of the group.

“We told you to stay out of the caves Y/N,” Kelly said, frustration leaking I to her tone.

“Cave? What cave? We should totally go spelunking some day,” Y/N replied with fake confusion, attempting to change the subject.

“I think they mean the cave you just came out of,” sonnet said with a smirk.

“Why are you wet?” Alex asked.

“We are in the ocean if you haven’t noticed Janice, everything is wet,” Y/N deflected.

“But why are you specially wet?”

“Me? I’m not wet, I think you’re vision is going in your old age there worms,” Y/N attempted to deflect again.

“You tipped your kayak, didn’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Y/N,” Kelley started, clearly frustrated now.

“Fine! I tipped! But I flipped back and I am good to go!” Y/N started to paddle away, only to have Alex grab the tow handle and keep her in place.

“Just stay with the group until we are back,”

“Yes mom,” Y/N agreed.

The group made their way the last little way without incident. The rental attendant giving them a strange look as everyone was dry except Y/N.

They stopped at a small beach side restaurant for before making their way back to the hotel. Y/N was fidgeting all through the meal, she new her unofficial moms were going to be giving a talking to, she always got one when she did reckless things like she had today.

Kelley placed her hand on Y/N’s fidgeting hands, giving them a squeeze before gentling massaging up her arm until she was massaging the back of her neck with one hand. Alex noticed the action and followed suit on the other side. They both knew the compression helped settle Y/N. The two women felt Y/N relax under their ministrations, stopping when they heard her release a big sigh. Periodically Alex or Kelley would place a hand on Y/N’s thigh when they would notice her getting fidgety again.

After arrive back at the hotel for the night, everyone separated, making their way to their respective rooms. Alex and Kelley paused outside Y/N’s door, her fidgeting return full force.

“We aren’t mad kiddo, we just worry and want you to be safe, so take a breath and relax,” Kelley started, giving her should another squeeze.

Alex just pulled the younger woman into a tight hug.

“We care about you, sometimes you leap before you look, we are trying to protect you. But we will never be mad at you for being you, got it?” Alex whispered in her ear.

Shifting the younger woman into Kelley’s arms, Y/N sighed into her neck.

“Goodnight kiddo, get some sleep.”

With that they all split apart, Alex and Kelley giving Y/N another squeeze each before making their way to the room while Y/N went into hers for the night.