#I know that everything else was ruled out except for ADHD

[lastoneout]

New Pinned/Intro Post!

Hi, I'm Loo(or Alex), I'm a disabled queer artist and writer as well as a furry vtuber who streams four days a week on twitch(mostly Minecraft but also Soulsborne games and a variety of other stuff).

You may know me from The Tuna Post, in which several thousand of you came together to "force" me to buy damn near 30 American Dollars worth of imported fancy canned tuna to eat and review live on stream. If you're here for it, said live review can be found on twitch and on my youtube channel. TL;DR: 10/10 would recommend.

I currently can't work, so if you like what I've got going on here and want to help me out, I take donations over on my ko-fi <3 Aside from that, follows on twitch help a lot, even if you never end up watching!

(Also, I sell my twitch emotes as stickers on redbubble!)

As a general heads up I am heavily introverted and have ADHD, and between those and my disabilities eating up my energy I often take a while to respond to messages/tags/reblogs/DMs and sometimes forget entirely. This isn't anything against you, and I'm working on it, but just something to keep in mind if you plan on interacting with me a lot.

You are welcome to put screenshots of my text posts on other sites/in your little tiktoks and youtube shorts, but I have rules.

(Note, this does not apply to my art. If I find you reposting my art I will do everything in my power to destroy you.)

Above all else, I would simply appreciate it if you asked first. I am almost always okay with this sort of thing if people are actually willing to reach out and ask permission.

Do not crop out, censor, or otherwise remove my username from the post.

If it's on a site I have an account on, I would love to be tagged in it. I'm a small creator, the boost would really help. Links are in my caard!

Do not edit the post or purposefully leave parts out, you must repost it in it's entirety with the words I actually used. The first post of mine that got big enough to get reposted ended up having an entire paragraph that summarized my point cut off, and that's just rude. (Exception: If you ask first we can talk about editing the post to remove swears and such.)

No AI. If you use AI for any part of the video I do not give you permission to use my content in any way.

FAQ:

Do you take commissions?

Not at the moment, but hopefully in the future!

What do you use for art?

Wacom Intuos tablet + Clip Studio Paint on the PC, though these days I mostly use CSP on a Samsung Galaxy Tab s6 since I can use it in bed on my low spoons days.

What do you want to go to school for?

Digital Art and American Sign Language!

You talk about being sick all the time/having health problems, what's wrong with you?

Too many things to list <3 but the most notable ones are chronic migraines, hEDS, and ADHD.

Queer?

I'm ace, bisexual, bigender, and butch. I'm also polyam but currently in a very happy monogamous relationship and don't have plans to change that. My pronouns are she/they, and while I would prefer to not have people use he/him with me you are highly encouraged to use masculine forms of address(sir, guy, dude, king, man, my guy, grandpa, dad, etc.) whenever appropriate. My assigned sex/gender at birth is none of your business.

Who's Yotsuba?

Yotsuba is an adorable little gremlin and the main character of my favorite manga, Yotsuba &!, and you should go read it right now seriously it's amazing go read it go read it GO READ IT-

What's "ask to tag"?

The tumblr equivalent of "author chose not to use archive warnings", I put it on anything that seems like it could use a trigger warning but where no one has specifically asked me to tag for that trigger yet. Things I currently (try to) tag for: flashing lights/eyestrain, insects, suicide, fatphobia/diet culture/disordered eating, my hero academia, gore/body horror, current events, us politics, politics, covid, cats, and anything nsfw goes under nsft.

I can't promise to be 100% consistent with these tho, between the ADHD and the migraines I am very forgetful, so slip ups are bound to happen.

Loo? Like the bathroom??

LOO is short for LastOneOut, I'm american and forgot people call it that, you can write it as Lou or just call me Alex if it makes you feel better.

LookingForLoo?? Like looking for the bathroom??

On websites where LastOneOut is taken I'm LookingForLoo because I'm literally looking for LOO, LastOneOut. I thought it was clever T_T

Sideblogs?

I have a nsfw alt @looafterdark (18+ only I swear to god I keep a loaded gun pointed at the follow list) and a writing inspo blog @last-scrapbook. I also once ran a couple of character ask blogs, though I don't plan on starting them up again, and I was the mod behind @pokeprofshowdown.

Who's Eugene/Ophelia/Sasha?

My ocs from an original story I'm working on. I get brainrot and post about them a lot. You are ALWAYS allowed to ask me about them!

What's your fursona/can I make art of you?

I'm a dog, kinda like a papillion but not really, and yes you may. My ref sheet is here.

Can I repost your funny text posts to twitter/insta/reddit?

Sure, all I ask is that you include the entire post and leave my username visible. You can also tag me if you want, I'm lookingforloo on twitter, insta, and reddit <3

Can I repost your art/writing?

Absolutely not.

Can I plug your art or writing into an AI program?

Absolutely not under any fucking circumstances.

Can I use your art in an amv/fandom board/as a cover for my playlist or fic/ect.?

Depends, DM me first.

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your fics/art/HCs/AUs?

Absolutely <3

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your OCs?

Art yes, fics no.

What's your stance on the discourse?

There is no amount of posting online about contentious topics that could ever match the sheer power of simply going out into your community and finding a project that helps other people that you can dedicate your time and energy to. Also wear a mask, vote(if you can), and listen to marginalized people when they speak about their experiences.

How old are you?

29

[siriusblack-the-third]

ok, any headcanons on james that compliment the ones you've done for sirius?

i absolutely loved those and i'm really curious about james

HELL YEAH LETS GO

ADHD. This dude has to be moving, fidgeting, doing something, always. It tires him, and he sleeps very soundly for a full seven hours. Doesn't wake up even for earthquakes (Sirius once did a mini earthquake spell on the dorm room floor in the middle of the night as a prank. It did not wake him.)

Wakes up at an ungodly fucking hour. He doesn't own an alarm clock (it has no effect on him), but his internal clock is set to wake him up at exactly 4:30 in the morning for quidditch practice. He is done with jogging through the entire castle, half an hour of yoga, and an hour of quidditch before 7 A.M. rolls around. Sirius calls him "a demon from muggle hell" for it.

The only one who can keep up with Sirius' intelligence. He is scarily smart, but because most of his time is invested in quidditch and pranks, nobody realises just how smart he is until the results are handed out and he's right there next to Sirius on the top of the rankings. Both of them are always exchanging ranks 1 and 2 on overall performance. It annoys Snape and Lily to no end, because those two are always exchanging ranks 3 and 4 on the list.

The definition of Reckless. If Sirius hadn't stopped him, he would probably have turned the castle to rubble in less than five minutes. This was the exact reason why people (who were in the know) were surprised when Sirius was the one that sent Snape to Moony. They had all thought it would be James' fault.

A fucking bookworm. My dude reads literally everything from mystery to romance to encyclopaedias to research papers to fucking dictionaries of different languages. Even when he doesn't speak the language, the weirdo (affectionate and derogatory).

Indian. Specifically, from Pune city, Maharashtra.

About languages, he's learnt a lot of them. The order of learning of languages, starting from his native tongue, is thus: Marathi, Sanskrit, Hindi, English, Ancient Greek, Tamil, French and Latin. He learnt the first six at home, and French and Latin from Sirius. He's good with languages.

Photographic memory. The reason he never has to study, and also the fact that he understands everything he reads on the first try.

He and Sirius both have twelve OWLs and eight NEWTs. They have Outstandings in all of them.

My dude has the widest, largest doe eyes possible. The only people who can withstand them for more than two minutes are his parents and Sirius.

Bharatanatyam dancer. Has his Visharad certificate, and genuinely enjoys dancing. Gives at least three evenings per week for dance practice to keep up his muscle memory.

Doesn't actually hate Slytherins. Neither does Sirius. Both of them have several friends from the house of Serpents, they just hate the ones that actively use Dark Magic on muggleborns, and Snape and his gang are a part of that.

Lmao the sheer arrogance in him, oh my fucking Gods—

Doesn't give a shit about the rules set by other people (unless they're set by his parents), but has a set of rules for himself that he strictly follows. No one can tell what these rules are, but he has them and he follows them. At the top of that list, there is "never betray your loved ones". He followed that one until his death.

Nevertheless, he will break every single rule. Every. Single. Rule. For Sirius. For Sirius, he will do anything, from taking care of him when he's sick to burning the world for him.

The Hat would actually have put him in Slytherin, except he had no ambitions except to cause chaos at the tiny age of eleven years. Otherwise, he's almost a perfect fit for Slytherin— determined, strong willed, cunning enough to pull difficult pranks, resourceful (because how else you gon plan epic pranks?)

He went to Gryffindor for three reasons and three reasons only: Sirius was there, he had no particular ambition, he wanted to be with Sirius.

M O T H E R H E N. Such a mother hen, but only for a select few people (the marauders, Lily, and Harry). He doesn't give a fuck about anyone else, but these are my people and if I weren't here they would literally get themselves killed put of household related incompetence how are you still alive by the Gods—

Follows ancient Vedic religion (because I do hehe)

Very very panromantic. Demisexual.

Had a crush on Sirius for a short while in fourth year, and then on Frank Longbottom in sixth year after he had one (1) glance at the older boy dressed in full Auror robes.

Loved his mother so much omg he was such a Mama's boyyy

Gave shit to Remus for looking like a professor at the tender age of fifteen, but wanted to become a Transfiguration Professor himself. He was also excellent at Potions (another reason Snape hated him) but decided ultimately that Transfiguration was his calling

Was in his last year of his Transfiguration Mastery on Samhain of 81.

Died with a Killing Curse on his lips. He was ready to cast it wandlessly, for his wife and child. Died with a Killing Curse on his lips.

[drbased]

shit I'm going through my over 700 drafts and a number are responses to anons.

I'm learning to respect my natural prerogative as a human being to be messy but it's instinctually embarrassing to have all these responses to people who stuck their necks out in sending something to me, only for me to write a paragraph and lose confidence or something and then carry out my day. I don't like myself for it.

The thing is, it's either I Follow The Obligation and then crash and burnout and never want to touch tumblr again, or I let these things happen, sit with the feeling and let it inform my future decision making, like a Normal Human Being. And this kind of process tends to happen when you're like, a teenager/young adult, not when you're literally over 30. My commitment to Obligation left me genuinely emotionally stunted and I'm crashing now into what being a mature adult actually feels and looks like.

I find it funny how trans-identified people say they're going through a 'second puberty' as they 'discover their true selves' because honey, I'm literally doing that - I'm the living embodiment of the kind of process they're talking about. I didn't know I had a personality until like 3 years ago. I was an overly responsible teenager and only now do I feel like an actual one, except now I don't get any breaks for fucking up. And yeah that sucks, yeah I mourn not feeling young and I mourn that I never got the luxury of living through mistakes during my formative years, but part of maturity also involves sucking that up, too. I'm not owed a perfect life, after all.

But this does leave me in this very odd position where I'm trying to balance out allowing myself to be a messy human being but also acknowledging that maturity means sucking things up. I still haven't quite been able to find this balance and probably never will, because this isn't naturally a process you do manually over 30. I admit that everyone does an element of it manually - true maturity doesn't happen without some element of manual choice, because otherwise it's not true maturity imo - but as with everything I'm doing the extreme version. And I'm extremely, uncomfortably, self-aware throughout. That, like everything else, I've found is easier to accept as part of life as opposed to obsessing over it being Unfair.

One small thing I've noticed is that the lifestyle I've found most comfortable since starting this journey is one that most closely matches what people call 'ADHD'. I'm not sure what to make of that: I definitely wasn't this way as a child. And I feel like this need to jump from thing to thing is much more a product of aversion therapy to Obligations than anything else. And it makes me wonder just how much other people's 'ADHD' has something similar as its origins, except they're less self-aware about it. Or, as I keep wondering, does simply recognising its origins not mean anything - after all, I now understand the origins of my depression, but that doesn't mean I don't recognise and value its shorthand. Knowing where my ADHD-like symptoms come from doesn't rule them out as being 'real' ADHD. But does the fact I was able to live without succumbing to those symptoms mean that it isn't ADHD? The ultimately rhetorical question always comes back to where do you draw the line between 'mental disorder' and just 'having a personality'. And it is rhetorical because in the end, part of me recognising my prerogative as a human being is that I can't be perfect - not being able to do everything perfectly doesn't necessitate slapping a pathologising label onto it. My major suspicion about the rise in diagnosis mental disorders is because there are way more ways to disappoint people and screw up your life than there used to be, so more people are feeling the 'Tug of Obligation' from all these various sources. like years ago people didn't have to check their emails and respond to that friend for coffee over text and cancel that subscription to netflix and and and - with the Obligations piling up, if you can't fit all that shit in your head you superficially look less functional, so it's easier to just label yourself 'ADHD' whenever you forget to respond to yet another message from a friend. It allows for you to acknowledge You Care but also write it off as A Problem rather than just your personality being pushed to its limits.

What I truly want to say in situations like this is: I have a weird bunch of 'problems' in my head that are functionally indistinct from having a personality, and if I wasn't so self-aware you'd just shrug it off as an annoying personality quirk, but since I am self-aware I now seem like way more of an asshole by saying 'yes I know didn't respond to your message and in all likelihood unless some chance chemical reaction happens in my brain I probably won't ever respond in a way I'm happy with, and since I care more about some instinctual feeling of 'correctness' according to some obsession my subconscious has, which in itself could simply be a product of having a personality - and honestly I could keep going into even more granular detail, expressing even more nitty gritty aspects of myself until I've left my entire soul up for Judgment By Peer Review'. The tempation is for me to be apologetic, especially in the way women are expected to. My entire Disorder is centred around this exact issue - that I am not 'allowed' a personality - and the more self aware I become, the less excuses I have, and the more I owe people an explanation, an apology, for the very fact that I'm human at all. The fastest and easiest way to communicate this is to pathologise myself, saying I'm planning on getting myself diagnosed for ADHD, that I have my 'Obligation' disorder - whilst that may be true in the sense that we use language as shorthand, I now recognise what saying such things at all communicates to me about myself. I now want to preserve my dignity, to allow myself to 'be messy', to not force myself to be perfect, and unfortunately that means I'm going to miss things and forget things - and to see myself do those things, feel uncomfortable about them, but do them anyway, and sometimes not apologise, or apologise in the 'normal way'. Hearing a piece of information and recognising 'I'm going to forget this' is a very, very odd feeling.

I still don't know what standard I want to hold myself to - since I now have to concede that the standard I once held myself to wasn't me Channeling Logic From The Universe but rather a product of my own ethics, I now I have to decide how much of those ethics I actually want to adhere to without destroying myself. And there is no line here. Someone will always call you out for something. And being aware that I'm crossing that line will always make me seem worse than if I was oblivious. But that's just basic logic, no? Eating unhealthily when you don't know it's bad for you is just ignorance, eating unhealthily when you do know it's bad for you is irresponsible.

I think about this whole thing a lot and would have written a Proper post about it but I actually think the messy stream-of-consciousness post about this is actually quite fitting and poetic.

[yourflame]

2. What are your unpopular opinion(s) of the fandom you’re rping in? 3. What rp trends are you so over and can’t wait for it to die?

munday salt. (accepting!)

2.) i don't know if this really... counts because this rpc has definitely changed over the years, but there used to be this idea / association around ppl who go the whole nine yards for setting up their rp blogs that they were clique-like, which i never really got. i KNOW what ppl mean when they bring up rp-cliques (i've definitely seen rper groups that had this tone of passive aggression & 'better than you' hanging over them, which never feels welcoming) - except i don't think rping with a few friends and only wanting to rp with your friends is a bad thing by default. if that's all you're comfortable / have muse for writing, that's great and there's no shame there!

the only time i think it feels... unfair is if it's like. you advertise your blog as being open to interacting with new people, you encourage (and sometimes complain for) new ppl to interact with you (when really it's just one person you want to rp with) but then ignore everything other ppl send and don't try to branch out and interact with new ppl. and then ONLY actually rp when those specific ppl/friends are active. that's giving mixed signals, y'know? i myself am guilty of doing this in the past, and i'm trying to be more upfront about what i want and feel like doing with people, and saying no to interactions i don't wanna do so i don't lead ppl on.

3.) uhhh. i need to think about this one (i've been out of the rp-scene so i have no idea if the stuff that annoyed me back then is still a thing or not KFJGK)

i guess, kinda to further emphasize one of my last points - complaining about getting no interactions when you are getting all the interactions. it's disheartening, and often times feels pretty passive aggressive and borderline guilt tripping, can make people feel like they somehow aren't doing enough (you should never feel that way about a hobby.) and usually the people that are complaining about others not writing with them, are people who want to only rp very specific types of interactions with very specific ppl (it's usually shipping) - and are so fixated on getting those interactions they ignore everything else that other ppl send them.

my take on this? we've got a lot of adhd & autistic folks in the rpc so it's normal to hyperfixate. making sure you maintain healthy boundaries with rp is important, and not letting it rule your life to the point you feel like you need to lash out to get your fix is huge.

[rabbitindisguise]

I think I'm going to socialize less irl (long vent post under the cut)

I feel like I've tried so hard at the Be Normal And Nourished from Normal Hobbies and Normal Interactions but tbh it just has not worked. I have not become neurotypical in the slightest (well, duh, should have expected that) and I feel like I'm struggling extremely badly with literally everything all of the time. Something has to give and I think "something" is "having more time to relax and reflect because I'm not talking to people 5 out of 7 days a week."

The thing is that like, I want to do what works and feels best for me. But I feel like the outside world can't accept "hermit that mainly does stuff by themselves." The alternative however is becoming what seems to be a huge jerk. No one else seems concerned with this, like they think the jerk-ness is an active choice and not one that arrived organically because circumstances despite my attempts at learning coping mechanisms and things to stop it. People will complain about X behavior (reasonable) and then act totally unconcerned when I'm like "look this is happening because I'm literally at the end of my rope. There's no rope left. I need to get more rope. That is the solution. Eating broccoli, no matter how helpful that is, is not going to give me more rope."

We're supposed to be perfect even when we're miserable is the thing isn't it?? Maybe that makes me a bad person (to fail to do "basic decency" in a bad place) but I'd rather be a bad person and antisocial or whatever than an active jerk while attempting doing "normal." This is a very easy decision to make actually.

I just need like a break. Some time to get it together. Idk.

. . . and like, there's so much to unpack form "be normal."

When I was living with other people, I was obsessed with doing chores properly so no one would have reason to be upset with me (because ADHD fears™), and house organizing was always something I deprioritized as something not worth asking for flexibility on, etc. I couldn't set rules and I couldn't stop doing what I felt was useless but crucially I didn't want to get mad at other people about that. So I tried (failed) to manage myself to make that sort of situation possible.

I'm general "doing normal" is "follow conventional health advice like to talk to your friends when you feel bad." Except I feel bad and it doesn't help. Lose/lose.

Who knows what other stuff I've internalized trying to just Do The Magic Thing to become tolerable. I feel like it's an impossible task and people keep congratulating me for trying but I feel like it's not the thing I want to be hearing tbh. Isn't that what everyone wants, to be accepted even when they don't fit societal norms?? "Thank you for trying to not be your weird self" feels icky. They're just trying to be supportive of what I thought was necessary, I know, I just also didn't pull "do normal" out of my ass- it's everywhere. Everyone seems to have an idea of the basic steps someone who isn't good at socializing should do (shower more, sleep more, eat correct things, do hands on hobbies, join clubs, take leadership roles in organizations, practice self help tips, exist in one community for a long time, talk about what other people are interested in, ask questions, practice active listening, assertive communication, setting boundaries, anger management, venting to friends, doing therapy, doing physical activity, etc etc etc). But no one seems to have any idea that sometimes you're just like this. And by "like this" I don't mean socializing- maybe I'll find a balance of something that will work. No, I mean the thing they think is the key to socializing that everyone should do. I cannot physically do all of them- especially when plenty are contradictory.

It's like weight loss right?? You might feel more alone than ever, feel physically ill, and struggle with constant fatigue- but at least from the outside you look normal! :) you did everything possible to carve away the stuff people blamed your problems on only to find that- surprise!- the problems were unrelated and that was one of the few things that made you content to begin with. Where are people then? What advice do they have when it "works" to satisfy them but the cost is too damn high for you? What explanation do they have when the thing they thought all your problems were the source of does not improve your life in any way? If you're only allowed to have problems if you try to look normal, what happens when looking normal becomes one of your problems? Do they take your word on it, that you tried the normal thing and it was uncomfortable. Do they finally stop pressuring you to do the normal stuff. Do they reconsider their priorities. Or were their "suggestions" from a place of not considering your welfare to begin with?

I guess we'll find out.

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

Introduction

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is most definitely a series of films… and shows… and now a multiverse… containing even more films… and shows... Fuck.

Ok, so by now we are all very aware of how fucked the MCU is, right? Like, no one in their right mind would want to compile everything that the MCU references in its multiverse and slap that into a list, and then proceed to watch that list, right? 

So that’s what I did.

I've compiled everything that ties directly into the MCU, or has elements that tie into the MCU. This list contains too many films, shows, short films, and even a couple video games. I shouldn’t do this, but no one is stopping me, so I’m going to.

Ok, so here’s how this list works, it is all digital media that ties into the MCU in one way or another (Usually through the multiverse saga), the exception to this is a film series that makes reference to the MCU, but is not referenced back. I included things attached to this series because I honestly just wanted an excuse to rewatch it. I will tell you what this series is when we get to it. 

Also this list is in order of release, not in MCU timeline order, cos honestly fuck that. This however does result in the funny outcome of I won’t actually be getting to the MCU itself for a while. Everything upfront is stuff that will come back later.

Understood? No? Unstandable, let’s begin.

Except, wait a moment, I got halfway through writing the first review and realised I never explained universe numbers, because of course I didn’t, why the fuck would I have to? Annoyingly, I do, because the universe “Earth-616” is gonna get brought up a lot.

So what is “Earth-616”? It’s the main Marvel comic universe. All Marvel properties are made in relation to the Earth-616 comics.

Every single Marvel property has its own universe number, even the MCU itself has a different universe number, being “Earth-199999”, much to Kevin Feige’s dismay.

And I suppose while your still here I should explain who I am and what I'm actually doing here.

So hi, I'm Teri. I'm a freelance artist and animator, with severely untreated ADHD. I made this list mostly I'm just a Superhero nerd, but also to prove the point that the MCU has fallen into the same trappings as the main Marvel comics; that being it has become to intertwined and overly complicated.

I'm gonna be working on this project slowly, so don't expect me to be rushing out pages and pages of review, especially as there is a lot of content for me to cover. I want to take my time.

Also don't expect these to be true reviews. For the most part this is me just throwing my thoughts out about everything. I can't guarantee it'll be completely coherent.

And I suppose I should cover some ground rules as well regarding interacting with this blog and the blog itself:

Absolutely no bigotry. This includes racism, sexism, homophobia & transphobia. I will not be lenient with the ban hammer.

No being creepy. This includes sexual harassment and nonces. I ain't doing this to get fucked messages.

No being a prick. That is to me or anyone else. let's be civil yeah.

I swear. A lot. I don't apologise for this. If my language upsets you, you're not going to enjoy your time here, I suggest finding somewhere else.

Other than my swearing, I have no intention of upsetting anyone. If I say anything actually offensive, please let me know and I'll get on making changes.

Hopefully, that should be everything covered.

Now, let's actually begin...

[jor-elsemissary]

*Takes a knife and stabs the post to the wall*

I am Lionel Luthor, emissary of Jor-el and ally to Kal-el. I could go on with the titles and accolades, but they are unimportant right now.

Right now, you have entered a very dark place. A dangerous place. A place that ignores reality as you know it. It twists and bends the universe to its Will. There is no escape from this. You either go along with the ride or perish in the vast abyss that consumes all that defy the Will of this place.

Is it Purgatory? Is it Hell? I do not know. All I know is that it’s Will forces realities upon those within and they have little choice to go along with it. Sometimes those realities are… bearable, most times it feels like Hell.

Beware of the entity that lurks in the dark. It seeks rebellious souls to cast into the abyss and devour. I’ve… seen far too many perish that way. Do not be another. Heed me and you will survive.

*whips his head around suddenly* No… It comes. Quickly, in here! It will be safe for the most part. Better here in this altered reality than to be feasted upon.

Rules:

1: I’ll write pretty much anything. But there are a few exceptions: Mpreg, incest (unless it is canon), bash, omegaverse, or pedophilia.

2: I can write crossovers but it has to make sense to me for that to work. So like Stargate Sg-1/Smallville could work, but Star Wars/Smallville? I’d be hard pressed to make that work.

3: I have the right to refuse to write a prompt or request.

4: I have the right to refuse to answer an ask.

5: Respect my opinions and I’ll respect yours.

6: Not everything will be concluded or concluded quickly. I have ADHD and stuff gets forgotten and lost as the new thing interests me.

7: What I write most is canon divergence, though with a canon that allows a multiverse is it really canon divergence? 😄

That said. Gimme ideas, prompts, asks. Anything. I like to write. I want to write.

Master List of Fics

Under Construction

---------

Canon (Ao3) (Master Post)

Random stories about the show but nothing too serious.

---------

Smallville Moments of the Multiverse (Ao3) (Master Post)

Random stories from the multiverse that don't fit anywhere else.

----------

President Kent Verse (Ao3) (Master Post)

Martha runs for President in 2016 at the behest of Lionel Luthor, whom she is also seriously dating.

———————

Blind!Lionel Verse (Ao3) (Master Post)

What if Lionel Luthor did not recover his eyesight and Martha Kent hadn't quit her job?

———————

A Luthor Pirate’s Life (Master Post)

Lionel Luthor wasn’t always a businessman. Once upon a time he had been the Dread Pirate Captain Leonel “Blackmane” Luthor!

———————

Red Queen, White King Verse (Ao3) (Master Post)

Earth-2, not to be mistaken for the Mirror Verse Clark Kent went to, was slightly different where Kal-El and Lex were raised by Lionel Luthor and Martha Luthor. The Luthors are the most powerful family in the world and this tells how that came to be.

———————

Battlestar Galactica: Smallville Edition (Master Post)

A small town family from Aerilon harbors a secret that could endanger everyone in the Fleet. A powerful family from Caprica gets roped into the Aerilon’s well-placed lies and deceptions. The Luthors and the Kents must realize they need each other in order to survive the journey to a new home.

———————

Rest In Piece Lionel (Master Post)

The many deaths of Lionel Luthor across the multiverse.

[nailbittenoracle]

A Damn Huge Deadline

I wish I was organized, focused, driven or whatever adjectives LinkedIn likes to use. All I get is sitting in front of my laptop, rereading the same research article three times because my brain decided now was the perfect time to think about whether or not I should cut bangs again. Spoiler: I did. I shouldn’t have.

But that’s what it’s like inside an ADHD brain. At least mine. It’s not just distraction, it’s derailment. It’s not just forgetfulness, it’s that my entire working memory feels like a badly managed inbox—important messages buried under spam, every new thought marked urgent, and no one ever archived anything, ever.

I’ve written discussion posts at 2 a.m. that should’ve taken 30 minutes but stretched into four hours because I kept spiraling into Google rabbit holes about side topics that had nothing to do with the prompt but everything to do with how my brain clings to stimulation like a lifeline. I’ve had professors compliment my insight and critical thinking, and I’ve smiled and nodded, knowing full well it took three breakdowns and a hyperfixated tangent about Jungian theory to get that paragraph written.

So yes, ADHD made me do it. The all-nighter. The impulse purchase. The 16-tab research binge that started with academic journals and somehow ended on Etsy. And would I do it again? Probably. Because when it works, when I am locked in and my brain finally hits that right combination of interest and urgency, I feel like I can see the whole puzzle laid out in front of me—and I actually know how to solve it. But those moments are the exception. Not the rule.

The rule is: I forget things I care about. I lose track of deadlines I knew about and now I have to hyperfixate to finish on time. I have the best intentions and the worst follow-through. I interrupt people not because I’m rude but because if I don’t say it now, it’s gone. I make systems to stay organized, color-coded and beautiful, and then immediately abandon them. I write grocery lists and forget them at home. I start conversations in my head and genuinely believe I’ve had them out loud.

It’s not endearing. It’s not charming. It’s exhausting. And the worst part? I’ve spent years thinking it was my fault. That I just wasn’t trying hard enough. That I lacked discipline, or maturity, or some secret ingredient everyone else was handed that I somehow missed.

But I know better now. Not just personally—clinically. I’ve sat through the lectures, read the literature, absorbed the diagnostic criteria, and watched myself reflected in every single case study. I know that executive dysfunction isn’t laziness. I know my brain craves novelty and structure at the same time and short-circuits under both. I know that emotional dysregulation isn’t me being “too sensitive.” It’s neurological. It’s real.

Still, knowing doesn’t fix it. Understanding the theory doesn’t stop me from feeling like a failure when I forget a deadline or a commitment or get overwhelmed by tasks that feel easy for other people. I’ve had to learn how to give myself grace without giving up. To stop measuring my success by how well I pass as neurotypical. To let go of the guilt that creeps in every time I hit a wall I didn’t see coming.

Because here’s the thing: I am capable. I’m in grad school. I’m working. I’m showing up. I’m doing the emotional labor. None of that stops being true just because I sometimes spiral or self-sabotage or get derailed by my own brain chemistry. I can be smart, dedicated, insightful—and still struggle to start a basic email. Both are true. Both have always been true.

ADHD didn’t make me less. It just made me different. And sometimes “different” looks like scattered Post-Its and emotional whiplash and feeling like I’m sprinting just to stay in place. But it also looks like sudden bursts of clarity, depth of feeling, and a relentless drive to understand not just myself, but other people, too. It’s the reason I connect quickly, care deeply, and notice patterns others might miss. My brain doesn’t do shallow. It dives, whether I like it or not.

So yeah. ADHD made me do it. All of it. The impulsivity. The overstimulation. The brilliant essay written two hours before the deadline. The half-finished craft projects. The unread text messages. The late-night identity crises. The weirdly niche knowledge of attachment theory and skincare ingredients. And would I do it again?

Yeah. Because it’s mine. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. But it’s also wired for insight, intensity, and—when I’m not actively self-destructing—some real magic. I’m not built for tidy or linear. I’m built for depth, complexity, contradiction. And if that makes me “too much,” so be it.

[thanflowers]

I AM MORE THAN FLOWERS & TEACAKES & CROWNS...

an independent, selective, and private roleplay blog for WARDEN COUSLAND of dragon age: origins. my name is bean (32, they/she) and i will be your guide! don’t hesitate to approach with questions or plot ideas. i want it all. 

a study in: the all loving hero; the idealist; good is not soft & soft is not weak; jeanne d'archetype; break the cutie.

carrd: thanflowers. (updated 11/29/24) ❀ — rules. about. verses. tags. headcanons. memes. rules available under the cut; all else is on carrd!

companions: @enregards. 

blogroll: @atomiqueen​. @heartsdefine​. @rooksgambits​. @thiefscant.

                                                          ...I AM THE OCEAN & THE BATTERED SHORE.

▍ ❝   GENERAL. SELECTIVE AND PRIVATE. this means i’m particular about who i follow and i will only write with mutuals. NOT SPOILER FREE. NO GODMODDING, metagaming, etc. I SHIP CHEMISTRY, and i do not force ships because i’m not a monster. EXCLUSIVITY IS RARE but not unheard of so you can find my mains/exclusives list here

▍ ❝   PLEASE DO. BREAK YOUR REPLIES FOR ME UP INTO SMALLER PARAGRAPHS if we write together, as my adhd makes hugelong paragraphs difficult to read; ASK ME TO TAG YOUR TRIGGERS if i’ve neglected to do so (whether i’m following you back or not); LIKE MY STARTER CALLS, send me memes, turn my meme replies into threads (if we are mutuals); SHOWER ME IN PLOT IDEAS and ooc chatter; HAVE PATIENCE with me on all of the above; FEEL FREE TO UNFOLLOW ME at any time for any reason, as i will be reserving the right to do so myself

▍ ❝   PLEASE DO NOT. USE SUBSMALL TEXT or multiple spaces between words in our threads as i find both difficult to read; UNFOLLOW/REFOLLOW to get my attention (it won’t be the kind of attention you’re hoping for); EXPECT ANY KIND OF IMMEDIACY FROM ME IC OR OOC. i love making friends via roleplay, but i’m one smol nerd just trying to have a good time and i won’t stress myself out by trying to keep up with everything at once. just know it’s not personal, and i’ll get back to you as soon as i have the energy.

▍ ❝   I WILL GLADLY. TAG NSFW AND TRIGGERS appropriately and accommodate those who ask to the best of my abilities; WELCOME LGBTQIA+ HEADCANONS; USE MY SHITPOST TAG (#blacklist for less soft nonsense.) on most of my inane ooc content so feel free to block it, that’s what it’s there for

▍ ❝   I WILL TRY. TO REMEMBER IF YOU DON'T LIKE TO BE REBLOGGED FROM, but please note that I have ADHD and may forget. Often and repeatedly. (A bit more info about this can be found here.) If being reblogged from on the reblogging website really bothers you, please feel free to block me as needed.

▍ ❝   I WILL NOT. FOLLOW BLOGS THAT DON’T HAVE ANY RULES OR GUIDELINES set up; exceptions to this are reserved for muns i already know aka those whose boundaries i’m already familiar with; FOLLOW MANY BLOGS THAT INCLUDE CHARACTERS from game of thrones and/or house of the dragon, as i’m just not comfortable having a lot of ASOIAF content on my dash; exceptions to this are typically reserved for people i already know and/or multimuse blogs that include other fandoms/muses i’m interested in

▍ ❝   MUNDANE. MY NAME IS BEAN/BEE. they/she. i’m 32, neurodivergent, and twelve different kinds of anxious but i’m working on it. I’M WHITE. in the event that i fuck up and/or swerve out of my lane, i invite my friends and followers of color to let me know. i can and will do better.

[fixomnia-scribble]

Ohh, Elementary School Gym Class is one of my most persistent Buttons, even though I'm nearing fifty years old. This is really just a vent - if I may take a turn in @inkskinned's Memory Circle.

Until I was about eight, I was short but generally average, more sturdy than willowy. I was always strong and flexible, and a fast sprinter, but endurance running is still my kryptonite. I didn't know I had PCOS and I didn't know I had ADHD, two major hurdles that combined to make me short, increasingly chunky, muscly, physically uncoordinated and socially awkward. PE class was a nightmare. Already socially ostracized, I had no shelter here behind intellect or humour or usefulness. Every flaw was exposed.

I was also an early developer, and in my elementary school, girls were not allowed to wear sweatshirts for PE until Grade 7. Tucked-in t-shirts were the rule. The PE teacher was a bona fide perv. We all knew, but we had nothing damning to report. Looking back, several teachers were watching closely. He was very nearly found out at his next school, and died of testicular cancer a few years later. My feelings on this are best described as "nuanced".

Any Canadians out there remember Canada Fitness? This was an annual national child fitness scheme with specific tests for arm and core strength, flexibility, and cardio endurance. We did this in small groups moving around stations in the gym. (Imagine being 12 and having to do push-ups with your perv PE teacher "correcting your form" with his hand on your hip and all your daily tormentors sitting in a circle around you watching. He never did this with the boys.)

The other tests were the Arm Hang (like a static chin up, counted in seconds before you dropped), Curl-Ups (modified sit-ups), a Bench Test for hamstring and spine flexibility, basic push-ups and a long run.

The award system ranged from Participation to Excellence. There was a big-deal badge ceremony for the whole school, and all the Golds and Excellences got called up. Everyone else got their badges in their classrooms later.

You'd think there would have to be some formula to assign badges, with everyone's different scores on each test. Nope. The last event at the end of the day was the Endurance Run. Whatever you got on that run was the badge you got.

Year after year, I would score Excellence across the board - sometimes repeating the tests because the teacher didn't believe the first result - except for the run. Year after year, I'd get called up in front of my sniggering class (I wasn't imagining it: they would get shushed my my lovely classroom teacher) to receive a bright red Participation badge. Did any of them remember I'd beaten most of their scores? No. If they did, it was all the more delightful to them to see. And when I tried to question the PE teacher on the unfairness of it all, I was lectured on the importance of Having A Goal To Work Towards, Being A Good Sport And Celebrating Others' Successes, and told that all I had to do was lose the extra weight and everything in my life would be fine, which I'm sure is a surprise to nobody here.

So yes: PE trauma is a real damn thing.

I spent a couple of terms in England as a kid, and while we had Games twice a week, that meant Football for the boys and Netball for the girls. It's like a mashup of volleyball and basketball, and requires teamwork and accuracy and sudden bursts of strength more than anything. Because that was all we did, we had a chance to improve. I still get shivers down my spine remembering the sensation of realizing I can do this I'm good at this they like me playing with them. That did me so much good...

in hindsight, the american public school idea of gym class was both absolutely buckwild and also incredibly ableist. i have a degree in education, and the more time i spend away from being a student, the less the concepts espoused there make any sense to me.

i was dancing ballet somewhere between 3-5 days a week, but i have never been a good runner. i have asthma and, at the time, i had horrible shin splints. yet running was seen as the only indicator of my health. my teacher fucking hated me for my lack of sprinter's interest here, like i was doing it to spite him. he thought that asthma was something "only for kids", like i was faking a wracking cough just so i could be "lazy" and "get away with it".

we weren't trained how to run safely. we often ran with bad form in sneakers that didn't quite fit. we were required to be able to ace this test once a year, immediately, with no follow-up or practicing. the rest of the year, gym class was a waste of time and energy. even kids who liked gym liked it because it was useless in entirety.

maybe he hated me because i was one of those students who shouldn't have struggled. i was pretty fit. during the sit-up test, i outpaced the other kids. corework is incredibly important to dancers, so i found the sit-up test easy. my teacher didn't take down my first result. he said, i've seen how you run, no way your number is that high. i explained i dance, he snorted and said you hardly have the body of an athlete and made me do the test again to be sure i wasn't "cheating". when i still passed, he said so you don't bother running just because you're a little rebel, huh? i bet you just like making men angry.

we had these sweat-covered wooden boxes to test our hamstring flexibility. you'd sit down, put your feet against a board, and push a slider away from your body. we had 3 turns to pass the test. on the first turn, my teacher watched as i gently pushed the slider to the end of the row instead of shoving myself forcefully over my toes. he said don't be rude, take the test seriously. i said - "okay, but i clearly can pass the test, i don't want to force my muscles. sudden movements aren't good form." he said i was going to get a detention at this rate. that he knew it was going to be a fight with you, it always is. you like the attention because you don't get it at home, huh?

i was 14, and i was annoyed and embarrassed, and i didn't handle it well. so i did as requested. i made my hands into a little diamond and shoved, just the way he wanted. the slider snapped off due to the amount of sudden force. i hit the end of the row so hard the test just fucking broke. i was sitting there, shocked by what was a legitimate accident: and this dude goes white and then red in the face. this is one of the only times in my life i got sent to the principal. he said she is vindictive and broke school property. malicious. noncompliant. for gym that year, i skirted by with an ugly "barely passing" D+.

and i was lucky. for once in my life, my parents were extremely chill about the whole thing. they saw the grade and just laughed about it. they were paying for me to go to dance class 4 hours a day, they knew exactly how fit i was. the principal tried to explain it to them, annoyed with their dismissal: i clearly wasn't healthy. he made sure they knew i wasn't an athlete, because dance is not a sport. i had to run the mile three times that year, to "make up" for my lack of effort. i walked it slow on purpose.

and i just... don't get it. in no other class would the lack of accommodations or training be appropriate. yes, you should know certain things leaving a class, but nobody expects you to be able to recite the whole biology textbook by the third month. nobody particularly expects you to pass a test if the teacher has literally never taught it. imagine if in english, you had a random test on vocabulary, and when you said these are just random words you never taught us. it isn't a good indicator of my reading level, writing, or of my reading comprehension - you were told: well it's most of your grade, but it's not that fucking hard, is it?

it is not a class about how to cook or how to help yourself balance your diet or how to run or how to get good at stretching or how to stay agile or how to do cool gymnastics or how to listen to your body or how to watch for injury or how to treat chronic pain or how to safely use weights. it was an hour of my life where i would be bullied with the teacher's permission. i look back at this thing and i just... i don't get it. while art teachers and english teachers are struggling for any funding - gym is just. protected under the idea it is somehow helping america... stay "fit". they make us run a mile and then say "great, we've measured your health" ... and then that's just... it.

as i was teaching the other day, i mentioned the fitnessgram pacer test to my kids. they're 19, are in college. many of them haven't been in gym class for a few years. i wish you could have been there to see their reaction. it was like i reminded them of their worst nightmare. we had to derail the conversation just so each person could go around the room and say their horror story about it. and each person had a horror story.

these days, i'm doing well. i love how strong i am, when i can be strong and my heart don't act up. i still dance at least 3 times a week. i have a performance on saturday, actually. but before you ask - no, i never learned to run. i don't really want to either, because it's just not good for my particular body.

so i guess, according to them - that makes me unhealthy.

[bonsaisheep]

My experience starting ADHD meds (for the first time) as an adult:

So I started ADHD meds recently. I contacted my doctor in early December, and spent the next month or so trying to figure out the right medication and dosage via basically weekly doctor’s appointments (online). Since there was a lot I found out after starting the meds that are apparently common experiences, I figure it might help to talk about my experience with all of this.

So I am medicated for my ADHD for the first time in my life at 27. There were two attempts when I was a kid, but neither of them worked out. The first when I was in fourth grade (I was diagnosed somewhere between first and third grade, I can’t quite remember), it was decided the side effects were not worth it, and a second attempt in middle school, but I refused to take it since I bought into a lot of the BS around brain meds. Its only in the last few years as I have learned more about ADHD have I learned exactly how it is effecting me. I managed to do well enough in high school to get into a good college (after doing really poorly in jr high). Managed to get an engineering degree (in 4 years with research, I was hella burnt out by the end of that) and managed to get (and hold) a job as an engineer shortly after college. Basically, since I could at lest fake functional and manage well enough (mostly because I was taught a ton of coping mechanisms by my parents as a kid), I just, never realized how much it effects me. I have been living an interesting and fulfilling life (as long as you ignore my mail bathtub).

After learning more and realizing that it was my ADHD was the source of a lot of the frustrations and struggles (I am basically a human checklist of the symptoms), I started to consider medication. The biggest reason for me is that I wanted to be able to focus on my own hobbies. I am incapable of hyper-fixating on anything that involves sitting down (or like, in general I am really bad at sitting down). I put off doing anything about if for years because well... executive dysfunction is a thing. It is really because of my roomate I finally went through with getting on mediation. This summer I moved in with a couple of close friends, one of which is also a cis women with ADHD who was diagnosed in elementary school. After not being interested in medication herself for most of her life, she recently decided to pursue it after some long conversations with another of our roomate’s girlfriend (I am one of 7 people in my friend group with diagnosed ADHD). Basically it was an accountability thing. We both held each other accountable for contacting our doctors.

Ok so after that very long introduction, what exactly are my experiences then? One of the things that surprised me was that I didn’t really run into too many barriers regarding getting on meds. In my case, I just talked to my general practitioner and she was like cool, lets start with XYZ. She actually didn’t want my original diagnosis since it was so old that she felt like any proposed plan would be out of date. (This is compared to my roommate who had to get a copy of her original diagnosis and even then her doctor was mostly comfortable prescribing meds because she is in talk therapy). (Though she has also pointed out I have been seeing my doctor for a bit now and therefor have a repor with her compared to her own doctor who was basically randomly assigned to her by her insurance and she met for the first time (online) when she contacted him to discuss meds)

I was originally prescribed Wellbutrin, a common off lable option for ADHD (it is a non stimulant, and by extension less bad side effects). My doctor wanted to go with it due to my really bad anxiety since it could potentially help with both. Unfortunately it made my anxiety way worse and I had a panic attack for the first time in years so we quickly stopped it and switched to other options. The next thing we tried (which is what I am now on) was extended release adderall. This is the most common stimulant prescribed to adults with ADHD. From what my doctor was saying, it is preferred for adults since it lasts all day (and with pretty even effects), it helps cover both work and the evening since most adults have additional responsibilities in the evening. In my case, due to how I responded to the Wellbutrin she also wanted to make sure I was on something that would not spike my dopamine. When messing with the dosage, I found that the amount that seems to help is also the amount that make my insomnia worse, so I am take a slightly lower dosage of the extended release, and make up the small difference using the short release.

Regarding side effects, the two noticeable ones that did not go away after a week (I initially had problems with a high heart rate, but that went away after a few days) are thirst and hunger suppressant. There is not much I can do about constantly being thirsty other then drink a ton of water. I was able to talk to a friend about the hunger thing, so I was able to implement quite a few tips and tricks that help me eat something during the day.

The two odd side effects I was not expecting is that caffeine actually effects me now and I also have way less of a sweet tooth. My doctor warned me about the caffeine thing, and my coffee drinking has really gone down. I went from at least two cups a day to a mug of half caff in the morning (I can’t cut it out entirely due to withdraw symptoms (so you know addition)). Regarding the sweets, I don’t know if I crave sugur less, or if it is improved impulse control. A good portion of my impulse control issue revolve around food so I am unsure.

Also I am running into a thing a friend was telling me about. The meds help you focus end of statement. This means you can end up focusing on things you don’t want to be focusing on.

As for the positives, well, I guess I was expecting more. I knew that meds weren’t some magic bullet and I was still going to need to use all of my coping mechanisms, but I guess I thought that the focus issues, would, just go away. But this is not how meds work. The way my roommate’s girlfriend describes it is that it gives you 15% more spoons, and that makes a ton of difference (for some people, this can be the difference between stuff like being able to hold a job). It is also really hard to tell if your meds are working. I texted a friend asking about how to tell, and he basically told me that it was the million dollar question (meaning there is no clean answer). Honestly, I still don’t know for sure if they are working or if I am just saying that. Part of it is that i literally can’t remember what I act like or feel when I am not on meds (and if I take a break for a day, vice versa). I am currently going with the assumption they are though.

For me, what I have been finding is that while I still get distracted from tasks I don’t like, I return to them faster. So rather then getting bored, getting on my phone and like, fucking around for a long time. I might just briefly check social media and then return to my task (meaning I get more done faster). I have also found it is making the executive dysfunction way easier for me. It is still difficult to start tasks, but, it takes distinctly less energy to do so meaning I generally start tasks sooner, or in some cases, do them at all to begin with. It helps curb some of my impulse control issues, mostly around stuff like food and impulse purchases of going out for lunch or coffee. It might be helping with the emotional dysregulation, but I have a hard time gauging that one. It’s just making things a bit easier, and well, that goes a long way.

More importantly, I am achieving my original goal. I am more able to focus on my hobbies and interest. I am starting to return to robotics, and it is already going better then when I tried it out as a teenager. I don’t know how well this will work out in the long run, but I am cautiously optimistic.

TLDR: I am not quite sure how to summarize, but if you know people on ADHD meds and are considering them (or are otherwise not on them and want to know more), it is probably worthwhile to have a conversation about them.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

So I have this concept, but it has to do with eating that may be seen as unhealthy. Not disordered eating or anything, it doesn’t involve topics like purging, but just bad eating practices, specifically ones enforced by parents. So if you have an issue with that, skip this post!

Ocean’s parents are big on no waste, and that rule is especially prevalent in food. When they make a meal, they except everything to be eaten.

This rule has sort of screwed Ocean over at times.

She’s had to spend hours at the dinner table before, not allowed to leave because she didn’t finish her supper. It’s so emotionally stressful in the worst way because she could be doing so many other things, but she CAN’T because she’s essentially trapped at this goddamn table until she can finish eating. So she starts to worry that she’ll fall behind on work, which upsets her even more.

And then the ADHD, which we all know she has, it’s SO OBVIOUS. She has no stimulation at this table, there’s literally nothing to do except glare at her plate, so she starts to get understimulated. Understimulation begins to overwhelm her further. She tries to entertain herself by messing with her dinner, but that just gets her snapped at by her parents for “playing with her food.”

She basically has two choices: wait it out and hope that her parents finally just give in or force herself to eat so she can get away from this horrible situation. She ends up choosing the latter almost every time this happens because she can’t bear the thought of being at this table all night long. So, she gets herself to eat and deals with the consequences later because at least now she can go do whatever she wants.

That being said, as Ocean has gotten older, she has made sure to NEVER bite off more than she can chew (pun intended). She is CHECKING the portion size of any and EVERY meal she gets to make sure she can eat it all, and if she can’t, then she’s eating it anyway because her parents rule of “no wasting” has been permanently ingrained in her head. She doesn’t purge it afterwards or anything like that, she just deals with a stomachache if she happens to get one.

Quite often, though, she ends up getting too little to eat and is still hungry afterwards, but she’s afraid that if she gets anything else, she won’t be able to finish it all.

As a result, she tends to share her food whenever she can. Because if she gives her food to someone else when she knows she can’t finish it on her own, it’s technically not a waste! It’s still being eaten! Also she’ll steal food from her friends’ plates if she’s still hungry after eating.

[dick-nightwing-grayson]

The batfam as what soda/pop they order when they eat out

Dick: Root beer- Rootbeer has no caffeine. As I am certain Dick has ADHD, I am sure he does not want the caffeine to slow him down. Dick was raised in a circus and the overly saccharine taste of root beer makes him think of his younger years. No one else understands why Dick does this as it is not remotely close to satiating a thirst after salty fries and a greasy burger, but he refuses any other kind

Jason: Mr. Pibb - Jason rarely drinks soda and only does so on the go. His fave is Mr. Pibb. He grew up poor and on the streets so name brand Dr. Pepper is too bougie for him. He is a simple man and Mr. Pibb it is.

Tim: Diet Coke- Tim only drinks Diet Coke when he goes out. If a waiter states they have Diet Pepsi instead and asks if that is okay he promptly says no, much to the annoyance of everyone with him, and will protest by ordering water. He is never rude about it, it is just what he likes. Everyone has tried to convince him to get Diet Pepsi, but he insists it is not the same and is too sweet to compliment a meal properly. WE always makes sure to keep the vending machine closest to his office stocked

Stephanie: Diet coke/Diet whatever- Stephanie is not particular, and despite what people assume of her, she isn't actually a huge fan of sweets or soda. She will always order a diet coke, but unlike Tim, she is flexible. She grew up poor and was often just given whatever was cheapest. She is ammenable

Cass: anything- Cass never got to have soda or fast food or even eat at restaurants. She will always follow the order of who ever she likes the most that day. Stephanie picked up on this amd often makes fun recommendations or even suggests mixes of 2 sodas together. Cass so far has loved everything she has tried, except grape soda. She hates grape soda

Duke: lemonade/tea/powerade- Duke was never allowed carbonated beverages when he was growing up. He keeps this rule even now as an adult because if his parents ever do come back from the joker gas, he wants them to know he listened and didn't change (too much)

Barbara: Dr. Pepper/Diet Dr. Pepper- Wait, or was it Diet Dr. Pepper? She can never taste the difference. She enjoys it the most, but also likes to tout that it isn't owned by the CocaCola company or Pepsi and feels like she is doing her part to not support the big 2

Damian: Sprite- Bruce said he could not have caffeine and wasn't even supposed to drink soda in the first place, yet this is somehow the compromise they landed on. He particularly likes the McDonald's crispy kind

Bruce: Coke- Bruce rarely drinks soda, but if he is going to, it will be coke. It is what he has always had and what he will always choose.

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Bedroom Cleaning Checklist

I have discovered that I don't need cleaning tips. (Well, I do, but more for efficiency than for getting the thing done in the first place.) I need a checklist. But ADDitude mag really seems geared towards parents of ADHD kids, and there aren't very many posts about cleaning with ADHD on tumblr, so I decided to try my hand at making a checklist that I can find so I don't have to rewrite it every time, and maybe then y'all can use it and modify it to fit your needs.

Start with your clothes! You got dirty clothes on the floor? Clean clothes? Put them where they belong! Generally, I recommend tossing everything in the hamper unless you know that everything that's ended up on the floor lately is wearable at least one more time before you wash it. It just makes it easier when I can either put all the clothes away or put all the clothes in the hamper and don't have to try to decide.

Now put away any extra hangers you still have out!

Put shoes where shoes go.

This is probably where I'm going to make my bed, because I don't really put anything except clothes on my bed and bedding being on the floor actually takes up a lot of space and makes the mess look bigger than it is. If there's still stuff on your bed, that's okay! Just do this step a little bit later!

Put the books where the books go, whether that's a bookshelf, your windowsill, or your desk. Don't put them on your desk unless they actually belong there, though, otherwise you're just adding to the clutter that you're going to have to deal with later.

Now divide up your room into sections! I consider my room to have five sections: the corner by the door, the corner by the closet, the corner by the window, and the wall-y-est corner, which all meet in the center of the room (so it's not just the corner, it's like that entire quarter of the room), and my desk is a separate section. If you need smaller sections, do smaller sections! If you need bigger sections, do bigger sections! Whatever works for you.

Start with your first section. (I recommend doing your desk either first or last, because it keeps the "floor" sections all together. First is good if you want to use open desk space to store things you're not sure what to do with, but the downside is that you might forget about it and end up with a desk that's more cluttered than before. I'm going to do my desk last for this exact reason.) Pick up anything that you know you can put away with the "one touch" rule. This is a rule my mom introduced to me that basically says once you pick up a thing, don't put it down until you put it away--don't touch the same object more than once. One touch!

Do the second section and follow the "one touch" rule, and do that with all of your sections. For me I like to do things very cyclically, so what's probably going to happen is I'll start in the door corner and move counter clockwise around my room (since my bed makes a barrier between my door corner and my wall corner the clockwise direction).

You may have noticed that I only told you to put away the things you can with the "one touch" rule. That's because sometimes there are things that you don't know what to do with, and if you keep picking it up and moving it from section to section it'll never get put away. So this is where you start from the beginning and go around your room again, and really think about where the thing should go. Does it actually belong to you? If not, give it back. Is it useful to you? If not, hand it down or donate it. Do you really want to keep it? If not, hand it down or donate it. Do you have room for it? If not, hand it down or donate it. (Yes, the solution to the "no" answers for those questions is repetitive--I find that even if I answer all those questions "no", I have to think about donating it because emotional dysregulation=too much sentimental value placed on mundane objects=keeping everything. Definitively saying "actually, don't keep that" is important for me, and it might be important for you too.)

You also may have noticed that I haven't actually mentioned trash yet? That's because even though it's important for hygiene and cleanliness to get rid of trash, it can be overwhelming digging through all of that other stuff. Now that you've put everything else away, though, you don't have to dig! Take a trash bag and go around your room and throw away what needs to go away.

Now do all the most intense things: dusting, vacuum, sweep (why do you not have carpets in your bedroom, you heathen? /j)

Now that I have a checklist I can use the tips people have recommended to make it easier for me. Things like:

you don't have to do it all in one day if it stresses you out, you can break it up however you need to (unless you're really in a crunch)

set a timer, pick up x things, or finish one whole section before taking a break

alternatively, if executive dysfunction makes it difficult to start, set a timer for the amount of time you feel like you can clean for, even if it's only a minute, and see how you feel after that timer is up--if you can keep going or need a break

listen to podcast or music and use that to choose when your breaks will be

make a game out of it, I mean who doesn't play basketball with their laundry?

[librius]

okay so, being a gamer, ive finally taken the plunge and began playing skyrim. ive owned it for a while and just havent opened it until maybe a month ago. Such is life with adhd

another thing about me is i Love fucking with mods. i mod minecraft, i mod the sims, i mod stardew valley, hell im in the process of modding code vein. so Of Course im gonna fuck around with skyrim mods

my main goal with mods in a game i havent played before is to keep it as close to the original game until im satisfied w my First Experience. so what that means for skyrim is mostly ui, mesh, and texture mods to make everything look better

a side effect of mesh and texture mods is. Well. 🍆. but i downloaded a mod that puts underwear on corpses after i loot people so its not an issue when i play in public. not every skyrim npc Has to be free willying it right?? right.

so im playing skyrim, occassionally theres a bit of tiddy when i take off my armor, but its fine im a khajiit so theres not even any nipple (did you know there are mods out there thatll give you 6 nipples? Wild) and aside from that everyone else is clothed (or underweared if i steal their armor) so it hasnt been a problem

in skyrim theres a questline called the saints and seducers, which is about 2 groups of bandits you have to go fight. after you murder them all (and they misgender you in a note like me if youre using pronoun mods that arent Quite perfect too) you learn about this guy theyre all working for named thoron

eventually you learn that thoron has gone Mad, leading to the creation of these groups yada yada story and plotline you have to go kill this weirdo whos living in the sewers of one of the biggest cities in skyrim

well i go down to fight this guy, killing bugs and enemies and learning just how Paranoid and Mad With Magic this man has gotten, and i see him

Facing away from me, arms up in the air like the emoticon going \o/ casting magic on a sword

Ass. Out.

and i go "huh! What A Strange Choice for the skyrim devs to have made! it really accentuates his insanity though! i dont think ive seen an npc like this before"

i shoot him with an arrow, as one does. and he turns around.

Oh. This man is Mister Free Willy.

the skyrim devs put him in rags, which is the default "undressed" outfit. understand? and mr willy here has a secret

Thoron Can Not Be Put In Underwear

This Is The Penis Wizard, and he has been created of my own disregard for the rules that have been placed upon the land of skyrim

The Penis Wizard Is A Folly Of One Specific Catboy, Me

not to mention, he killed me so many times as i tried to kill this poor, nude (except for his helmet of madness!), man. he refused to be stopped from preforming his magic in the way nature intended

the only way i could eventually beat him, was by getting so close and hitting him with a mace so fast so many times in a row that he could not cast his magic. and mr free willy was there the Whole Time

my underwear mod couldnt even catch up After i killed him and stole his ring of nakedness, the Penis Wizard was cold, dead, and most importantly: had his penis out

i tried flipping him over to try and preserve his modesty, but skyrim physics leave much to be desired when positioning corpses.

and so, in the dark, damp, overgrown sewers of solitude, lies the body of Penis Wizard, forever cock out until the end of time

told story about. Penis Wizard today