#lbr this is mainly about my parents and strangers

[rabbitindisguise]

I think I'm going to socialize less irl (long vent post under the cut)

I feel like I've tried so hard at the Be Normal And Nourished from Normal Hobbies and Normal Interactions but tbh it just has not worked. I have not become neurotypical in the slightest (well, duh, should have expected that) and I feel like I'm struggling extremely badly with literally everything all of the time. Something has to give and I think "something" is "having more time to relax and reflect because I'm not talking to people 5 out of 7 days a week."

The thing is that like, I want to do what works and feels best for me. But I feel like the outside world can't accept "hermit that mainly does stuff by themselves." The alternative however is becoming what seems to be a huge jerk. No one else seems concerned with this, like they think the jerk-ness is an active choice and not one that arrived organically because circumstances despite my attempts at learning coping mechanisms and things to stop it. People will complain about X behavior (reasonable) and then act totally unconcerned when I'm like "look this is happening because I'm literally at the end of my rope. There's no rope left. I need to get more rope. That is the solution. Eating broccoli, no matter how helpful that is, is not going to give me more rope."

We're supposed to be perfect even when we're miserable is the thing isn't it?? Maybe that makes me a bad person (to fail to do "basic decency" in a bad place) but I'd rather be a bad person and antisocial or whatever than an active jerk while attempting doing "normal." This is a very easy decision to make actually.

I just need like a break. Some time to get it together. Idk.

. . . and like, there's so much to unpack form "be normal."

When I was living with other people, I was obsessed with doing chores properly so no one would have reason to be upset with me (because ADHD fears™), and house organizing was always something I deprioritized as something not worth asking for flexibility on, etc. I couldn't set rules and I couldn't stop doing what I felt was useless but crucially I didn't want to get mad at other people about that. So I tried (failed) to manage myself to make that sort of situation possible.

I'm general "doing normal" is "follow conventional health advice like to talk to your friends when you feel bad." Except I feel bad and it doesn't help. Lose/lose.

Who knows what other stuff I've internalized trying to just Do The Magic Thing to become tolerable. I feel like it's an impossible task and people keep congratulating me for trying but I feel like it's not the thing I want to be hearing tbh. Isn't that what everyone wants, to be accepted even when they don't fit societal norms?? "Thank you for trying to not be your weird self" feels icky. They're just trying to be supportive of what I thought was necessary, I know, I just also didn't pull "do normal" out of my ass- it's everywhere. Everyone seems to have an idea of the basic steps someone who isn't good at socializing should do (shower more, sleep more, eat correct things, do hands on hobbies, join clubs, take leadership roles in organizations, practice self help tips, exist in one community for a long time, talk about what other people are interested in, ask questions, practice active listening, assertive communication, setting boundaries, anger management, venting to friends, doing therapy, doing physical activity, etc etc etc). But no one seems to have any idea that sometimes you're just like this. And by "like this" I don't mean socializing- maybe I'll find a balance of something that will work. No, I mean the thing they think is the key to socializing that everyone should do. I cannot physically do all of them- especially when plenty are contradictory.

It's like weight loss right?? You might feel more alone than ever, feel physically ill, and struggle with constant fatigue- but at least from the outside you look normal! :) you did everything possible to carve away the stuff people blamed your problems on only to find that- surprise!- the problems were unrelated and that was one of the few things that made you content to begin with. Where are people then? What advice do they have when it "works" to satisfy them but the cost is too damn high for you? What explanation do they have when the thing they thought all your problems were the source of does not improve your life in any way? If you're only allowed to have problems if you try to look normal, what happens when looking normal becomes one of your problems? Do they take your word on it, that you tried the normal thing and it was uncomfortable. Do they finally stop pressuring you to do the normal stuff. Do they reconsider their priorities. Or were their "suggestions" from a place of not considering your welfare to begin with?

I guess we'll find out.

[ansheofthevalley]

I strongly disagree with the endings for the Stark Pack. Sansa and the Northern lords along with the Vale and Riverland's lords and armies travelled to what was left of King's Landing to get Jon back against a few, what, hundred foreign invaders with no leader? And just let Jon be punished for saving them all? And Arya, who had finally learned that she had family and a home to go to and protect would just leave to go sailing, something that was never really a part of her arc other than an off...

...handed comment to a stranger in Essos? And Bran, who's motives and POV have been non-existent for SEASONS is made king by a group of people who don't know him or what he is capable of at roughly 17 years old when there are other, better, candidates in the Dragon Pit and elsewhere. And Sansa, who's whole arc has been about her status as the Key to the North and how she only wants the love and safety her parents had is entirely alone at the end of the show? All of the Starks should be together.

Hi there!

One of the things I'm still trying to wrap my mind around is the Starklings ending. LBR, season 8 was a mess and it didn't make much sense narratively, especially if compared to previous seasons. It's as if D&D discarded seasons-worth of character growth and development in favor of shocking twists *pretends to be shocked*

But you asked about the Starks and their ending.

The thing about the Starklings is that they’re deeply connected to the idea of home, but more specifically, going back to that home. Some left by choice, others by force or circumstance. But the thing is that all the Starklings have been uprooted from their home early on. Their journey (and I’m simplifying the hell out of it) is about going back home. All the characters have their distinctive aspects to their journeys to set them apart. But if we were to say what their journey is about in just a few words, it’s that: it’s about coming home. But there’s also another factor: family. All of them had to be stripped of their identity as a Stark in one point (or more than once) of the story. (*) Since the moment they’re stripped from their home and identity, they start their journey on regaining both (we could make an exception with Bran since he’s tied with magic and is in pursuit of a higher calling) (**). But the themes of identity, present in their arcs trough their home and their family name, are there. 

(*) I just realized that all the surviving Starks had to renounce to/hide their identity in order to survive. All those who didn’t (Ned, Robb, Cat and Rickon) ended up dead.

(**) Bran’s journey can be identified with two archetypes: the Sage and the Magician. Both archetypes are connected to the sense of self. The Sage is about knowledge and a yearning of paradise (which is connected to his fight against the Night King and the Others). Basically, his journey is to bring back Summer through knowledge and an understanding of his powers. The Magician is about power and wanting to leave a mark in the world. We can see this with him when he’s north of the Wall with the TER.

Jon

D&D screwed up Jon's character and his development, reducing him to a mere mouthpiece to justify Dany's actions. The problem with Jon in S8 (which started in S7) is that. He was no longer treated as a protagonist but as a plot device, which can be said about all of the Starks.

Jon has huge identity issues, mainly because of his bastard status. He’s automatically set apart, even if his siblings and father did accept him and treated him as a trueborn son. The fact that he’s a bastard is a huge cross he carries, and it’s because of this he makes the choice to leave his home. For him, going to the Wall is a way to prove himself, to make others see that even a bastard can be honorable, but also to escape from the name “Snow”. At the Wall, all men are equal: it doesn’t matter where they come from or who they were before. At the Wall, they’re all equal. Or at least, that’s what he thought. 

Of course, he found a place where he belonged, people that made him feel like home. But all of those always ended up being taken from him. So, there was only thing for him to do: to go back to his real home, Winterfell, and be Jon Snow again. Because in the Night’s Watch he was “Lord Snow” and a brother of the NW, later Lord Commander. With the Wildlings he was “a crow” and later a traitor. But he really found himself in S6, when he took back Winterfell with Sansa and when she “made” him a Stark (by cloaking him). Of course, that came crushing down in the S8 premiere, when he finds out he’s the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. And that’s it. We don’t see how the RLJ reveal affected him, how much of an impact it had on his identity, which already was complicated, how it changed his family dynamics or his relationships with certain characters. The reveal, along with his character, were used as plot devices for another character. We never saw the conflict of his true identity and home be resolved, not explicitly.

Jon's ending (him being sent to the Wall as "punishment" for killing Daenerys) makes little sense. As you said, he’s punished for killing Daenerys, instead of, IDK, punishing him for participating in the Sack of King’s Landing. That was a war crime, and punishing him for said war crime would’ve made more sense (since GOT and ASOIAF are basically politics with ice zombies and dragons). I could understand if the lords (and Greyworm, for some inexplicable reason) wanted to punish him for kinslaying. We know it’s bad and that it’s frowned upon in Westerosi culture. If that were the reason for his exile, I could understand it (and this is what D&D went with). But they completely undermine this by basically awarding Tyrion with everything he ever wanted for doing the same and admitting to killing his father in front of the nobility of Westeros five minutes earlier. It doesn’t matter if Tyrion suddenly sees these things as burdens. It doesn’t change the fact that these are the very things he was after when the show started. If the punishment for kinslaying is exile, then exile every person that committed that crime, which is both Jon and Tyrion. If the punishment for enabling and participating in the Sack of King’s Landing is exile, then exile every person that took part in it, that means Jon, Tyrion and Dany’s remaining army. You can’t punish some and award others when they did the same thing. That’s bad writing. But it’s known D&D are huge Tyrion fans (to the point of making him a completely different character), so...

The fact that he was made to leave his home and spend his life at the Wall (even if there were people that respected him there) is underwhelming. He yearned for a home, for a family, for an identity. And what better way to give him all that than to have the people he loves to accept him for who he is, not the name he carries? If it were up to me, Jon would’ve ended up in Winterfell, stripped from all titles, both from his Targaryen and Stark lineage. I would’ve made him remain, Jon Snow because that’s who he is. Because, ultimately, it doesn’t matter who fathered him. His loyalties always were with the Starks. But in the end, he would’ve had a chance to show it, a chance to defend and fight for his family and House. All while remaining a Snow. But for that to happen Jon needed a POV; the Starklings needed their POV; their dynamics needed to be shown, not hinted at; Jon needed to be shown interacting with other characters, not just Daenerys; the RLJ needed to be centered around him, not Daenerys.

Because, ultimately, that’s why the final season failed to deliver a satisfactory end to the story: it was centered around the wrong character. Because D&D chose not to comment in-universe on Dany’s morally gray actions, they had to double down in the last two seasons, so the GA wouldn’t be caught off guard with her “turn to darkness”. And because they centered S7 and 8 around her, all of the plot points that were established in previous seasons were used as a means to explain her “turn”, even when they shouldn’t have. RLJ was never about her. RLJ would’ve served as a perfect explanation of why Jon did what he did if it had been used from his POV. But it wasn’t. It was used as a plot device for the Dark!Dany arc. And we ended up with an unsatisfactory S8 that felt off.

Arya

Arya’s complete arc was about family and how revenge and justice can blur a little bit. When she’s forced to hide her true identity, she embarks on a journey that’s related to defining herself as a person: she’s Arya Stark, then she’s Arry, then she’s No One and finally, she’s Arya Stark again. It’s a turbulent journey in which she deals with revenge and justice, and she manages to fight for justice once she reclaims her identity as Arya Stark of Winterfell. Her journey has always been about that: identity. We meet her as an outsider in her own family group, an outcast. It would’ve been reasonable to go full circle, and show Arya to the audience being with her family, show her being accepted just as she is (things that made her an outsider in the beginning). Arya’s journey is a typical Heroine’s Journey.

She starts the series with a separation of the femenine. We see her dislike for feminine things and her desire to do what her brothers do. And taking her ending to Winterfell would’ve displayed perfectly the integration of the masculine (her being a water dancer and a faceless man) with the femenine (her new relationship with her sister and playing a role in Sansa’s court). She’d be right where she started, but different. She’d be accepted and valued for who she is. But we know GRRM is going for the bittersweet ending, and that ending is too sweet an ending for George’s liking, I imagine. But in my opinion, you can always bring a bittersweet sense to the ending by showing how hard it is to rebuild their world. Because that’s what they’ll all have to do: rebuild. These characters started the series are children or teenagers, and by the end they have the responsability to rebuild what other people have destroyed. Give the audience a glimpse of the hardships to come, show them that once it ends it won’t be sunshine and rainbows, but actual hard work. But then again, that’s just my opinion.

Bran

It’s a bit complicated for me when it comes to disscussing Bran’s ending. The thing is, D&D never understood Bran’s character. That’s why his connection to magical elements are downplayed a lot. That’s why he was missing a whole season. Because D&D didn’t understand his character and ultimately treated him as a plot device, mainly for the RLJ reveal. That’s why so many people have problems accepting him ending up as King, I think. Because it feels out of nowhere.

TBH, I’m on the fence regarding his ending. Not because I can’t see him as King, but because of D&D’s inconsistent writing. From S1 he’s linked to the magical aspects of the story but D&D downplayed those aspects so hard that ultimately Bran’s story fell generic. Then you have the season in which he was missing, explained as “him training to be the TER”. But then he’s brought back because he’s important again. We see him train with the TER, understand his powers of greenseeing a bit more and his link to the Night King. But then again, his character does a one-eighty, and by the end of S6 and the entirety of S7 he turns out to be a soulless, omnipresent God rather than the boy that wanted to fly. Sure, it can be “justified” if you go with the “Bran died in the TER cave” way of thinking. But what bugs me the most of D&D’s writing of Bran is that he stated that he wasn’t capable of being Lord of Winterfell, simply because he wasn’t Bran Stark anymore. He did that twice: once in S7 when Sansa gave him the title back (his claim surpasses Sansa’s since he’s a man) and once again in S8 when Tyrion offers him the chance to be Lord and Warden if he wants to (to ensure little to no resistance from the North respecting Daenerys). He declines both times, he gives his reasons. But in the series finale, when Tyrion proposes him as King, he’s suddenly Bran Stark again and able to rule? It doesn’t make sense. The thing is that D&D fucked up when it came to Bran, and the story overall suffered for it.

Sansa

Sansa’s arc has been defined by family and belonging, as all of the Starklings. But what differentiates her arc to those of her siblings is the fact that time and time again, she was referenced as “The Key to the North” aka the future of House Stark. The fact that she starts the series as a dreamer, a feminine girl that yearns for a family of her own and a valiant husband that loves and respects her, only for those dreams to be beaten out of her almost immediately, leads you to believe her arc will come full circle in a way in the end. But since GRRM is going for the bittersweet ending, maybe it was never in Sansa’s cards for her to end up married and having the family she always wanted, but at least she could be surrounded by her remaining family or those she considers family.

Yes, in the end, she “won”. She’s home and she’s Queen in her own right. But her journey feels inconclusive. Her arc is the only one tied to the themes of marriage and family (in the sense of having her own children) in a romantic way. She was defined as a character through her womanhood, as @esther-dot said. But not once she has had a romantic partner. Which really leaves you thinking, since minor characters like Bronn and Pod had “romantic” partners. But not Sansa. She was punished by the narrative for wanting to be a wife and a mother.

She was married off twice, she was groomed and raped. We see her go from a girl with dreams to a suffering woman, all because of her name and her being “the Key to the North”. She has basically been put through all that suffering and pain because of her identity. And even after all that, she ended up alone. She has not known what a consensual relationship is, what a healthy romantic relationship is like.

Even if we abstain from talking about romantic relationships, ever since leaving King’s Landing, all she wanted was to go home and rebuild it for her family. Since reuniting with her siblings, all she wanted was to take care of her family, for all of them to be a pack. After having her isolated and surrounded by enemies, it would’ve been satisfying to know that at least she was now surrounded by family and/or friends. But no, she ends up alone, after just finding Jon, Bran and Arya, after feeling safe with Brienne.

TL;DR: D&D fucked up big time by forgetting that the Starks always were the heart of the story. They used them as plot devices to reach their ending, which is why the Starks’ endings feel hollow because it was not driven by the characters themselves but by the writers’ need to reach the finish line. So, even if they ended the Game alive and well and in places of power, it feels unearned in some ways, nonsensical in others.

Thanks for the ask!

[rorypcarson]

it’s hope??? again??? yes u read that right here’s my son rory love us this blog is so new so nothing will be in the tags i hate everything lmao anyway like this or message me to plot ily bye

triggers: car crash, drunk driving, stroke, abortion, death, depression ( mention )

╰☆╮ DACRE MONTGOMERY ─ RORY PEARSON identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a YOUTUBER/MUSICIAN, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO ! they’re said to be +CANDID, but also -DESPONDENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE ACCIDENTAL BILLIONAIRE in the tabloids. ( kendall schmidt, logan henderson )

did i use two btr bois as his vc??? u bet ur ass i did & i have no regrets ok anyway on to my son 

background: 

rory pearson was born and raised in fairhope, alabama.  his parents were teenagers when they had him and lived with his grandma scarlett.  his mom jean marie was ousted by her parents when she told them she was pregnant and his dad’s mom took her in with open arms.  

of course his grandma wasn’t going to let them live in the same room in her house without being married, especially with her grandbaby on the way.  so after talking with them, and his parents agreeing, they went to the courthouse and got married three months before rory came into the world.  

rory was born on april 20th, 1996 and he was without a name for six days.  his parents couldn’t decide so they named him rory wyatt vincent pearson.  he was always told that since his parents couldn’t decide on naming him after jean marie’s grandfather or greyson’s father, they picked a third name and gave him both of their names for middle names.  

when rory was two and a half years old ( not really half, it was june ?? ) his parents graduated high school and went out for a party.  unfortunately their designated driver wasn’t so sober and the group of four recent graduates crashed into another car.  

his father was in the passenger’s seat and died on impact, his mother was pronounced dead in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  

scarlett legally adopted rory after that and raised him.  she always told him stories of his parents, but avoided telling him anything about what happened to them for as long as she could.  

he was ten years old when he saw the memorial and recognized his parents from their yearbook photos and came home asking about it.  

honestly this is jumping ahead a bit but rory didn’t learn to drive until he was twenty years old.  and even now, esp now, since he lives in nyc he doesn’t drive often. 

okay when he was seventeen years old he met bethany in an airport.  he was on his way to a college interview on a connecting flight that got cancelled due to weather conditions.  they were both sitting in the same terminal so they got to talking and !!! hit it off

bro legit asked her out 5 seconds after their flights were announced to be back on

“hi yeah we just met but we’ve got two hours before your flight leaves so wanna go grab some food with me???” 

and the rest was legit history

he can remember every moment of their conversation and first date like it was yesterday. oh my god he was SO IN LOVE 

the human embodiment of the hearteyes emoji

and so the pair stayed in touch and went on a couple more dates and the boy was so gd smitten that grandma scarlett took his phone during one of their phone calls and was like “darlin if you don’t fly down here to meet me i’m going to think my grandbaby is just talking to a complete stranger on here.” 

and then bethany flew down and met scarlett and she was so excited because !!!! her grandson had a girlfriend !!!! 

grandma scarlett was the biggest supporter of anything rory did in life oh my GOD 

at his graduation it was just grandma scarlett in the crowd for him but boy did it sound like the whole crowd was cheering for him when his name was called 

anyway flash forward to he’s in college and he’s moved away to be closer to bethany.  which should not have affected his life but when he was looking at colleges fr fr after acceptances the boy chose one closer to his girl

we love a softie ok 

anyway on bethany’s 19th birthday he took her to an airport and was surprising her with a trip to disney that he’s been saving up for for MONTHS !!!! 

and at the airport he was like all jittery and nervous bc in his pocket he had an engagement ring but he did his bEST to hide it all from beth bc surprises 

not that he planned the whole thing ( he did ) but it just so happened they were in the same restaurant waiting for their flight as their first date way back when

and in the middle of dessert, the waiters singing happy birthday this boy attempts to be sly and gets down on one knee.  but didnt realize there would be someone coming up behind him to keep up the singing and he ..... kinda caused a mini avalanche of people

and he apologized and is like still on one knee and now he’s looking at bethany with a BRIGHT RED face and he had had this whole speech worked out in his mind ok but all that comes out is, “i love you, please marry me?” in like an awkward stutter because he just TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE WAITSTAFF 

somehow bethany said yes ??? and they’re engaged ??? 

oh and someone got the whole thing on camera and like that happened 

the video skyrocketed to the most viewed video entitled “i witnessed an awkward proposal???? and she still said yes?????” 

which is also lowkey how he started his youtube channel ?? 

“hi yes it’s me the guy who proposed to an olympic athlete while taking out a whole waitstaff?? i dont know why she said yes either but i love her??”

and for a long time it was mainly vlogs of him and beth and him and his friends 

okay so fast forward and rory’s graduated college with a degree in history education bc he wants to be a teacher and he’s got to fly back to alabama and miss his graduation because he got a phone call and grandma scarlett had a stroke

so the boy is freaking out but it’s fine !!! grandma goes home and he winds up staying down and now he’s trying to figure out how to be with beth, find a job in ny, but also take care of his grandma 

for a while he toys with the idea of moving grandma up to new york and helping her find a place.  so he goes back to new york to talk to beth about it and he’s freaking out and he gets home and she tells him she’s pregnant

of course he never expected to be like 20 and having a baby but ??? whatever.  now he’s freaking out because his grandma is not doing good and he’s worried about her and now he’s got to figure out what to do with a BABY ???

and bethany then tells him she wants to get an abortion and rory’s already stressed and so he flips bc of emotions and they get into a huge fight and it just winds up with him leaving and heading back to alabama and bethany in their apartment  

so rory goes home to alabama and he keeps getting notifications on social media about bethany so he just shuts his phone off and i’m talking like he goes days without touching his cell phone.  he takes a hiatus from youtube because he’s freaking out and 

two months after he’s home he seemed like scarlett was doing better so he took her to a party in town to see some of her friends and at the party scarlett had another stroke.  

she died six days later, never waking up from the medically induced coma they put her in.  

flash forward a couple more weeks after he’s working with lawyers for his grandma’s estate and rest assured scarlett pearson had nothing but her house, her garden, and her beat up corvette that her deceased husband wyatt bought her for their anniversary one year

so its a shocker to find out that scarlett pearson was worth 43.7 billion dollars 

and now that money all goes to rory because he’s her only living heir ???

so rory gets this BOATLOAD of money and the local newspaper picks it up which brings it to the national news and somehow it made international news

“local alabama boy from youtuber to billionaire overnight” 

so he kept his grandma’s house in alabama because ..... he can’t seem to let that go and why should he ?? its a good house and holds a lot of memories

but he does in fact buy a brownstone in manhattan its HUGE and he doesn’t have enough things to fill the whole space up but ??? he’s working on it slowly. 

he created a makeshift recording studio in one of the upstairs rooms and has been working on music, which is new to him ?? he was always a bit artistic but never sure enough to like try it out

oh and he’s returned to youtube, he’s got a decent following i guess 

i mean lbr he’s hot ???? and sings ??? so ??? ya know 

personality: 

okay so this is long already so im gonna keep this short n sweet

rory is a sweet boy, never really an athletic type always more focused on his studies than sports.  

spent a lot of time with his grandma and he’s very easily attached to people he’s close to.  not exactly clingy, but it’s really hard for him to let people go i guess ??? 

used to love shows like survivor and big brother and amazing race. always toyed with the idea of applying to be on amazing race but he never had anyone who would go with him, or could for that long.  

he’s a real kind hearted guy and clumsy as fuck

a bit awkward when you first meet him but ??? you warm up quickly and so does he

clumsy af as noted earlier 

kind of depressed ??? idk he’s not seeing anyone for it but post losing beth, his grandma, and like the possibility of a family in the future he’s kinda ..... morbid 

puts on a happy front for youtube

oh and he does a podcast talking about stuff with his friends idk what exactly but ?? its prob music and movies lbr

connections: 

best friend(s)--self explanatory; people who he gets along with and they’re like his ride or dies.  

nerd friends--give him someone to geek out with please he’s SUCH A NERD !!!! or someone who likes learning random things he’s got u 

musical friends--people who he met through starting to delve into music 

youtube community--give me people who !!! met through youtube and often do colabs together.  probably ppl who were shooketh when he came back and was like “bro i have 40 billion dollars????”

wealthy friend(s)--give me someone who will teach this boy how to be wealthy ??? like cause he knows nothing about that he struggled a lot growing up and with college and several part time jobs he doesnt know how to like party or anything 

idk anything else