#I know it sounds dramatic but it’s whatever
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was i stupid to love you?
in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”
He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.
“Why didn’t you eat?”
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”
A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You don’t want to eat anything?”
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”
“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.”
There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.
“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”
You shake your head. “Nope.”
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"
The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Your heels click softly as you turn.
“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.
“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
“Honey.”
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
You tug harder at the strap. “No.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”
There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”
“I know you can. But let me—”
“I can do it myself!”
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”
“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.
“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”
“What do you remember of it?”
There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”
His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”
“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.
“That’s not what happened."
“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”
You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”
“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”
He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”
The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”
“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."
“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”
“But you could’ve put me on there!”
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
“I need a minute.”
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”
You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”
“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”
You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”
“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”
“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”
“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”
“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”
“Because I was trying to protect you!”
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”
His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.
“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”
You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”
“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
“You haven’t explained it to me.”
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”
“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”
His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”
“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”
He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”
“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”
“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.
“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Don’t worry. It’s not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”
In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Now those words you might actually believe.
“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
“What are you doing?”
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Tell me what you’re doing.”
Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”
There’s a sharp ache in your chest.
“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”
Your pulse ring in your ear.
“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”
“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”
“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”
“Spence…”
“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
“I want to go to bed.”
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”
“I’d rather be alone.”
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”
You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#angst#angst with no happy ending
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you're my happily ever after (so i'll take my chance now, risk it all somehow)
rating: G
words: 2.6k
8x06 fix-it, because I'm pissed - I or my fics aren't going anywhere tho <3
thank you to @evansboyfrend for beta reading, ily 🫶
[also on Ao3]
It feels like the whole world is crumbling down. It feels like the Earth should shake, burst on fire, open up and swallow everything around. As dramatic as it is, he kind of expects it to happen, and it’s weird that he’s still sitting here. His ears are ringing, panic rising in his chest with each of Tommy’s words. He watches Tommy get up and head for the door, and he’s frozen to his spot. It’s not- it can’t be. It fucking can’t be. “Wait,” he finally manages to say, trying to keep his voice from trembling, “did you just break up with me?” He asks, hoping to any entity that listens that he just misinterpreted it, that he got it wrong. Because- because he can’t lose Tommy. He’s falling for him so fast and so hard. He’s ready for the next step. He’s ready to move in together. He’s ready to talk about one day, eventually, maybe getting married. He knows he wants that. He knows what he wants, and he wants Tommy. “Yeah, I guess I did.” Tommy answers, glancing back at him, his expression sad but firm. But Buck knows him. Knows that this mask will crumble into something devastated as soon as he leaves. That Tommy’s heart will shatter, just as Buck’s is right now. He can see through Tommy, he knows that he cares about Buck. It just- it doesn’t make sense. What was he even talking about… It was all so much, so fast, Buck’s brain is still scrambling trying to understand it all. “Believe me, I didn’t see-” Tommy starts, but Buck shakes his head and interrupts him. “No.” He stands up, his legs feeling shaky. Tommy fully turns towards him, confusion in his face. “What do you mean, ‘no’?” He frowns.
“I mean, no, you’re not breaking up with me.” Buck says more confidently than he feels. Because this can’t be it. The last six months, the best six months of his fucking life, can’t end like this. Can’t end at all. He won’t have this. “I know you care about me. And I care about you. And I don’t want to break up.” He sees Tommy open his mouth to speak, his expression hardening – putting on a mask again, trying to hide the hurt. He speaks again before Tommy can. “If you truly, genuinely want this, not because you think it’s gonna be better for me or you, but because you don’t want to be with me, fine, I can respect that. But I won’t accept it without a fight. I- I wanna fight for us, Tommy.” Buck steps closer to him, hoping that Tommy doesn’t step back, that might just break him. He doesn’t, he’s stuck in place, sad eyes on Buck’s. “Let me fight for us. You-” he adds quickly, on a roll now, not wanting Tommy to interrupt until after he’s done, after he’s said his piece. He needs to say it all now, let Tommy know how he feels. He can’t watch him leave without trying to fix it first. Tommy’s looking at him intently, just listening, not even trying to speak. “You gave me a second chance once, when I fucked up our first date, and I- I want to believe it wasn’t for nothing. So- so you’re my first man, so what?” Buck throws his hands up in frustration, he thinks he’s starting to sound a little frantic, speaking faster and faster. He just can’t let Tommy leave without him knowing exactly how Buck feels. “It’s far from my first relationship ever. Why- why is it so different just because you’re a man? It shouldn’t be. I don’t need to date other people, experiment or whatever else. I’ve dated people, slept around, did it all. I know how that goes, how it feels, and I don’t want to do it again. I know what I want, Tommy. And I want you. And don’t you dare tell me how I feel.” He feels anger seep in, Tommy’s words ringing in his head. What the actual fuck was he thinking? “I’m a grown man, I know how I feel. Yeah, it’s new and exciting, but it’s also real. It’s real to me, and- and if there’s any chance of forever, I want to take it. And-” he takes a breath. He feels like he’s been speaking in one breath, feeling a little lightheaded now, his heart hammering. Or maybe that’s just the panic. “And don’t start with the whole ‘I’m not your last’ bullshit.” He shakes his head again, tears welling up in his eyes, anger still building. Really, what in the world? How could Tommy want to just throw away the most wonderful relationship that’s happened to Buck in years? Maybe ever? “You don’t know that. I don’t know that. Yeah, we could break up one day. But you could also be my forever, and I could be yours. I’d love a chance to find out, even if it hurts in the end. But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one here brave enough to risk it. And- and what about my heart, huh?” Tears are threatening to spill, his voice shaking now, with sadness and anger, and desperation. He can’t let him go, he can’t. “You said I’d break your heart eventually. But this, right now? This is you breaking mine.” He finishes, almost panting now, his monologue taking the wind out of him, wanting to say everything on his mind, in his heart. He hopes he got his point across.
“Evan.” Tommy just whispers, with a pained expression. There are tears in his eyes, too, one lone one slipping through, falling down his cheek. Buck’s hand itches to reach out and wipe it off, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to anymore.
“Give us a chance, Tommy. Let us fight for this. Fight for me, for us. Fight with me.” He’s aware he sounds like he’s begging at this point, but he doesn’t care. This is too important. “I thought it’s been so good between us lately-”
“It has!” Tommy rushes to say. “It’s been amazing. You make me so happy. That’s why I’m scared, I just- I’m sorry, Evan, but I can’t let myself get hurt like this again. Because I- I’ve been there before, and it was hard to get back up, and with you- I don’t think I’d be able to ever recover from this one.” He admits, his stone-faced facade crumbling, and Buck can see his own feelings reflected in Tommy’s expression. Sad, devastated, heartbroken.
“We can- we can take some time apart.” Buck says around a lump in his throat. He feels like he can’t breathe. All he wants is to rewind until before he dropped the moving in bomb which must be what made Tommy freak out. He could say anything else, and take it slower, and maybe they’d be on their way out right now, a date night like they planned. “If that’s what you need. A break. But not for good. And then let’s come back to it clear-headed, knowing for sure what we want. And if you still want to break up, I- I’ll respect that. But I already know what I want,” he repeats firmly, decisively. “I want a future with you. I want to move in together, and one day down the line get married, and- and I want it all with you. We can slow down if I’m rushing this. I tend to do that, and if it’s scaring you, I’m sorry.” He adds, not wanting to backtrack any of this, but aware of how intense he’s coming off. He’s never been more serious about anything in his life. “But the past six months have been the best in my life. I’ve never felt so happy, so free, so comfortable, so safe. And I’m not giving up on you, Tommy. I will fight for you until I can’t anymore, until you tell me that you don’t care about me and I should just fuck off.”
“Evan. You know I’ll never say that.” Tommy responds quietly.
“I know. Because I’m confident in us, in the fact that you do care, and you do want me. I know that.” Buck emphasizes, and realizes, not for the first time, that he never felt like this before. This secure. This confident about someone wanting him. “I also know you’re just trying to protect yourself, your heart, and I get it. But I can’t let you go without a fight. I won’t. I messed up a lot in my life, and I won’t mess up this. I refuse to. Because I-” he takes a sharp breath, the words pressing on his lips. He doesn’t want to say it for the first time in a possible break up, a moment of such anger and devastation. But he needs to put it all out there. Needs Tommy to understand how much he’s trying to throw away right now. “I love you, Tommy.” He confesses, sees Tommy’s face melt into the saddest expression Buck’s ever seen on anyone, tears spilling freely now. Both of theirs, he realizes, feeling wetness on his cheeks. “I’ve been falling for you a little bit more with each day we spend together, with each minute. And I know- I hope you feel the same. But if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t-” he swallows thickly, the thought alone is too much to bear.
“I can’t do that.” Tommy interrupts quickly. “Of course I love you, Evan. It happened so quickly it kind of scared me a little.”
“I noticed.” Buck says dryly, and Tommy lets out a humorless chuckle. “If you ask me, which you didn’t, by the way, you decided for both of us, which was an asshole move,” he points out, and Tommy looks away, as if ashamed. Good. Buck loves him, which means he’s gonna call out when he’s acting shitty. “I’d rather give us a real try and get my heart shattered if it comes to this, instead of always wondering what if, always wondering if you’re my one who got away. Which you would be.”
“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, takes a step towards Buck, now just half a step away. “I’m sorry, maybe breaking up is too hasty. Impulsive,” he scoffs at himself, probably remembering how he called Buck that just a few minutes ago. Well, so maybe they’re both a little impulsive. Not a problem, in Buck’s opinion. “I don’t- I don’t want to break up. I never want to be away from you.” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand flinches at his side, like he wants to reach out, grab Buck’s, touch him. Buck hopes he does. “It just- it seemed too fast. Like you got wrapped up in the moment. It’s still so new, I thought we were taking it one step at a time, and I didn’t-” he takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and Buck knows what he says is going to sting – and it does, it feels like a gut punch, actually, “I didn’t think you were as serious about this as I was getting. And I realize we should’ve done the mature thing and talked it out. I’m sorry. It’s just, we’ve barely talked about any future here. But I want it, of course I do. I’m just- I’m scared. My heart has never been in this much danger.” He looks into Buck’s eyes as he says it, more vulnerable than ever. This is everything Buck wants right now, for them to talk, to discuss this, to try fixing it, instead of one of them running away and the other giving up and not fighting for it. Buck’s been there, he doesn’t want a repeat.
“Tommy.” Buck is the one to close the distance between them, carefully brings his hands up to cup Tommy’s face, giving him a chance to back away, but he doesn’t. Instead, he breathes out a sigh of relief, like he craved Buck’s touch as much as Buck craves his. “You remember when I told you I wanted something with you? Even though I didn’t know what that something was yet?” he asks and Tommy nods slightly, Buck’s palms still resting on his cheeks. “I’ve been serious about you since that precise moment. About pursuing this, and wanting some kind of future with you. I know I tend to rush into things, it’s been a problem before.” He huffs a self-deprecating laugh. “I tried not to do that with you, but I failed, clearly. I just think from now on, we both should stay and talk and try to work it out if we have any issues with something. If you still want me.” He adds a little anxiously, but relaxed when he feels Tommy’s palms settle on his hips.
“Of course I want you, Evan. I always will.” Tommy says, that loving look in his eyes, that always makes Buck’s heart melt a little. That look that Buck loves so much, that made him think that Tommy might feel the same way.
“Good. Like I said, I’m not letting you go. Ever.” He says decisively, a huge weight that’s been there since the topic even started finally lifting off his chest. This might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and no matter the conclusion – which he’s pretty sure will be the happily ever after he’s always craved – it’s worth the risk, it’s worth everything.
“Good.” Tommy echoes, that gorgeous, scrunchy smile of his slowly spreading on his face, and it’s like sunshine came out from behind stormy clouds. “I don’t intend on letting you go, either. I love you, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry for… for this mess. For overreacting.”
“That’s fine, we’re past this- well, actually, we are gonna talk about it more, but at least we’re on the same page now, I hope.” Buck says, slowly leaning in. “I love you so much. I never want to lose you.”
“I’m sorry.” Tommy says again, and Buck just wants him to stop saying it. It’s fine, they’re fine now. “You won’t. You have me for as long as you want. I promise.”
“What if I want you forever?” Buck whispers, his face so close to Tommy's, their lips almost brush. It sends a shiver down his spine, like he hasn’t kissed him in days, when they just exchanged a quick kiss hello a few minutes ago.
“That works for me.” Tommy smiles again, and finally dives in for a kiss, but it lasts barely a second before he’s pulling away, Buck trying to follow. Tommy chuckles, running a comforting hand up and down Buck’s side. “But maybe let’s put a pause on the whole moving in together thing, huh? At least until we fully talk everything through.”
“Yeah, good idea.” Buck nods, his gaze flickering between Tommy’s eyes, now sparkling happily, and his pretty, kissable lips. It feels so good to be able to just have a mature conversation and resolve whatever issues arise. If they keep doing that, he thinks they’re going to be okay. He’ll make sure of that. “No need to be impulsive,” he adds, his lips twisting into a teasing smirk.
“Okay.” Tommy chuckles quietly, his cheeks reddening. “Just kiss me.”
Buck doesn’t need to be told twice. He kisses Tommy like he means it, like he’s his person, like he’s the love of his life, trying to put all those emotions into a kiss. He knows for sure he’s getting the same intent back. And at this moment, in his kitchen, narrowly avoiding losing his love because of a stupid reason, he decides it. One day, not too quickly, but not too far into the future, he’s going to ask Tommy Kinard to marry him. And he’s more than sure of the response he’ll get.
[also on Ao3]
#bucktommy fic#fix it fic#bucktommy#wikiangela writes#911 fic#911 8x06#my writing#evan buckley#bucktommy fanfic#tommy kinard#911 fanfic#evan x tommy#buck x tommy#tevan#kinley#read on ao3#dailykinley#911 spoilers#bucktommy fluff#angst and hurt/comfort#angst and feels#bucktommy angst#not gonna tag my tag list this time bc Im exhausted and also not sure who's in the headspace for a fix-it rn#im here if anyone wants to vent or talk btw#and im not going anywhere fuck this
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puppy love
got high and thought abt this for two weeks and got bored during my shift and wrote it. this is for all the people who can't so no to their pets either
You watch from behind the kitchen counter as your husband pushes your big dog out of the kitchen with his leg. The dog glides across the hardwood, big eyes still looking directly at you, knowing he’d receive no mercy from Katsuki.
He’s successfully displaced the pooch with only enough force to move. Despite being placed in the living room now, your dog is looking at you, or better yet, the bread in your hands.
“You need to stop giving it human food,” your husband tells you as he returns to the spot beside you. “He’s getting too greedy. And fat.”
“I know,” you sigh in your free hand. “But it’s so hard saying no to his face.”
“It won’t matter how many times I move him then. If you don’t stop, then he’ll never learn.”
You groan softly, leaning your head on his shoulder. “You make me sound like an irresponsible parent.”
“Because you are,” he says, placing a hand on top of your head.
You turn your head upwards to look at him. “You spoil me though.”
“Maybe I should stop. You’re getting greedy too.”
You gasp dramatically, wrapping your arms around his waist. “You won’t though,” you tilt your head slightly with a small playful smile. “Right?”
He stares for a minute, expression turning soft. Eventually he gives you an eyeroll, taking his hand from the top of your head to the back of it, pressing it against his chest. “Yeah, whatever.”
You push your head back slightly. “It’s my eyes, isn’t it? That’s the reason I can’t say no to our baby too.”
A slight blush paints his cheeks. “Don’t call it our baby!”
The sound of claws on hardwood causes him to look for the source. “Who told you that you could be back in here, mutt–?!”
#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#bakugou headcanons#katsuki bakugo mha
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Puppy Love
Word Count: 1552
Warnings: None
Damian Wayne x Fem!Reader ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷��꒷꒦︶
It was a typical day after school, one of those rare moments when Damian Wayne wasn’t caught up in some sort of mission or training. The clock ticked loudly in the classroom as you stared at your class partner. Damian was sitting at his desk, meticulously packing up his things, his movements precise, as always. He had a habit of folding his papers just so, making sure everything was in perfect order before leaving. It was almost funny how much effort he put into something so mundane.
You tapped your pen on the desk, your mind bouncing with energy, as it always did. You had an idea, a crazy, spontaneous idea. The kind of idea you always had, but this time, you had to share it with him.
"Damian," you said brightly, leaning across the desk just enough to catch his attention. He glanced up, his dark eyes narrowing slightly as if preparing himself for whatever your next move was. You grinned, already knowing what he was thinking. “Do you want to go to the fair?”
His brow furrowed. “The fair?” he repeated, clearly skeptical. “I’m not sure how that could be beneficial to anything.”
You waved a hand, dismissing his doubts. “It’s just a bit of fun. You know, something different. Besides, you can’t always be training or brooding, right?”
Damian looked at you for a long moment, then sighed dramatically, an exaggerated gesture you’d gotten used to. “I don’t see the point in such... frivolity,” he said, though there was an edge of curiosity beneath the words.
You didn’t give him time to think about it. You knew he would overanalyze it otherwise. “Come on, just for a little while. You could use some downtime, and it’s not like Gotham doesn’t need a break from your endless seriousness. You’re my class partner, right? It’s just a few hours of normal fun. You’ve done worse, I promise.”
You could see the inner conflict playing out in his eyes—the part of him that was trained to be a warrior, never wasting a moment, battling with the part that was slowly learning to open up to new experiences. Finally, after a long pause, he nodded reluctantly. “Fine. I will accompany you to this... ‘fair,’” he said, his voice still laced with skepticism.
...
The fair was a short drive outside of Gotham, tucked away just beyond the noise and chaos of the city. You could tell the difference immediately, as soon as the car tires left the paved roads and hit the dirt paths leading to the fairgrounds. There was a certain charm to the place, something rustic and simple, so different from the bustling streets of Gotham or the towering Wayne mansion.
The sun was setting, casting a soft orange glow over the rows of booths, food carts, and brightly colored rides. The scent of hot dogs, popcorn, and cotton candy filled the air, and the sounds of laughter and music echoed around the fairground. It was the kind of place where people went to escape from the grind of daily life, to enjoy the fleeting moments of joy that came with a simple carnival game or a ride on the Ferris wheel.
You could see Damian’s unease as you both walked toward the entrance. His eyes darted around, taking in the overwhelming sights, sounds, and people. It wasn’t quite the same as the controlled environment he was used to. But you didn’t give him time to overthink it. You grabbed his arm, pulling him toward one of the booths.
“You’re going to love the ring toss,” you said with a grin, all too eager to get him involved.
“Ring toss?” he repeated, the skepticism still clear in his voice. “What purpose does this serve?”
“It’s fun,” you insisted, though you knew he wasn’t convinced. Still, you managed to drag him over to the booth. The game was simple enough—throw rings over bottles. It was a childish game, but you loved it, and you hoped Damian would catch on to the idea of letting go, even if just for a moment.
He stood with his arms crossed, watching you carefully. "You really think I can waste my time on this?"
You gave him a sidelong glance and a teasing smile. "Well, it’s not about wasting time. It’s about... I don’t know, enjoying the moment."
He didn’t look at you, but he did take a few rings and line them up, aiming carefully. You grinned to yourself. Even when he was trying to act all serious, his precision couldn’t be denied.
With a flick of his wrist, one of the rings flew through the air, landing perfectly on a bottle. You raised your eyebrows, impressed.
“Nice,” you said. “You’re better at this than you let on.”
Damian didn’t respond, his eyes narrowing as he picked up another ring. “I don’t do things halfheartedly,” he muttered, almost to himself. “If I’m going to do something, I do it properly.”
You watched him, a strange warmth spreading in your chest. The boy was so driven, so serious, yet you couldn’t help but admire his determination. It was rare for him to let his guard down, and even rarer for him to admit that something could be fun.
Soon enough, you had won a small stuffed bear, and Damian had reluctantly agreed to take it from you. You held it to your chest, practically skipping to the next attraction.
“What now?” he asked, clearly still unsure.
"Let’s ride the Ferris wheel," you said, already making your way toward the line.
He didn’t protest, which surprised you. Damian was a creature of habit and control. He liked to know what was coming next, not to be thrown into something unfamiliar. But here he was, following you as you led him toward the towering wheel. It was slow-moving and simple, but you could tell the height of the ride was making him a little uneasy.
Once you were both in your seat, the Ferris wheel creaked to life. The world below you began to shrink, the lights of the fair twinkling in the distance, and the sky above grew dark as the stars started to emerge, one by one. You glanced over at Damian, who was staring out at the lights, his face unreadable.
“You know, it’s nice up here,” you said softly, breaking the silence. “Don’t you ever just sit outside and stare at the stars? It’s so peaceful.”
Damian turned his head toward you, his expression stiff. “I prefer to watch... other things,” he said, his tone flat, almost as though he hadn’t really considered the question. “While I’m at it, I watch the bumper-to-bumper traffic and listen to the sounds of car horns and sirens.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his dry sarcasm. “That is exactly why I like to be in the middle of nowhere. No traffic, no sirens, no deadlines. Just peace.”
Damian looked at you, the barest hint of amusement flickering across his face. “Peace,” he echoed, then gave a short huff. “I don’t know that I would describe Gotham as anything remotely peaceful.”
“Well, I’ll take peaceful over chaotic any day,” you said, your eyes drifting back to the sky, the colors of the fireworks beginning to light up the air. You handed him a stick of cotton candy, offering it with a teasing grin. “Besides, I think you could use a little fun, Damian. Maybe the world won’t end if you just enjoy the moment.”
He hesitated, eyeing the fluffy treat in your hand before taking a cautious bite. His eyes flickered back to you, his voice quieter this time. “Fun. I’m not sure I remember what that feels like.”
You blinked, surprised at the admission. For a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. You were so used to seeing Damian with his walls up, his rigid control always in place, that hearing him admit something so vulnerable took you off guard.
“Well, maybe now’s a good time to start remembering,” you said, your voice soft. “There’s a lot more to life than training and working.”
Damian didn’t answer, but he didn’t pull away either. Instead, he continued to chew his cotton candy in silence, staring out at the fireworks. You could tell, even without the words, that he was beginning to relax, if only for a moment.
The rest of the ride passed in a comfortable silence, the fireworks exploding around you in bursts of color. It was a strange thing, this peacefulness, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched Damian begin to melt into the experience. For once, he wasn’t the brooding, serious heir to Wayne Enterprises. For once, he was just a boy—your class partner, Damian—enjoying the simple joy of a fair.
As the ride finally came to a stop and you both made your way back to solid ground, you felt a strange warmth between you both, something unspoken but real. You hadn’t just taken him to a fair—you’d taken him to a moment where he could simply be Damian, and for the first time, he seemed to appreciate it.
“Not so bad, huh?” you teased as you walked side by side.
Damian glanced at you, the slightest smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Perhaps... just this once.”
#dc#dc comics#damain wayne#batman#batfamily#batkids#batfam#robin#damian wayne fic#damian wayne fluff#damien wayne#damian wayne x reader#Batfam x reader#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc comics x reader#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne imagines#dc fluff#batfamily x reader#damian wayne#dc robin#dc headcanon
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Gojo Satoru loves to make you laugh.
It's a well known fact that Satoru's behaviour can be a little... whimsical at times. He has an irreverent attitude, and confidence that sometimes borders on overconfidence. Not to mention the largest, brightest grin when he's doing something silly.
He's like this even in private, when it's just the two of you at home. Your silly husband will do anything to make you smile. Including making a complete fool of himself.
Washing the dishes turns into a water fight. He leaves gifts on your side of the bed, that when opened reveal all sorts of questionable items. You've even walked into your bedroom to find him in your clothes before, stretched wide on his large frame.
He can't help it. Your smile is comparable to the stars, the sound of your laughter is his favourite melody. The way your eyes light up make his heart skip several beats.
Sometimes he clutches his chest and pretends to be in physical pain over how beautiful you are. It makes you giggle, so it's all that he can do to keep the charade going. He drops to his knees, and you'd actually worry if he would stop laughing at his own act. Eventually you just kneel in front of him and pepper his face in kisses.
He's caught you watching comedy shows on occasion. Oh how he hates those comedians... After all, making you laugh is his job only. Your dramatic husband plops down on the couch, laying his head on your lap and demanding instant attention. He's like a cat.
Of course, as soon as your hands tangle in his white locks he reaches for the remote and turns the TV off. Oh Satoru.. whatever will you do with him?
If you're ticklish, you'll have to be extra careful. The man is a menace. He knows you dislike being tickled, so he doesn't do it often. But if all else fails he always knows he can get a smile out of you just with a few movements of his fingers.
Really, there are no lengths he wouldn't go. Just to hear that wonderful sound from you.
Divider by @aquazero
Thank you all so much for reading!!! I hope you enjoy this!🩵
As usual this wasn't proofread and I'll go into hiding if anyone points out my spelling errors ☆
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo being gojo#reader x gojo#jjk x reader#satoru gojo#my glorious blue eyed king#gojo x reader fluff#soft gojo#funny gojo#husband gojo
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Hot and Sweaty…. Ramen
Elias x Barista
The room was bathed in the soft glow of the kitchen lights as Elias and Barista sat across from each other, sweaty and out of energy, the only sounds being the quiet slurps of ramen noodles and the soft clink of chopsticks against bowls. The aftermath of their intimate moment still hung in the air, a subtle hum of energy lingering between them. Their clothes were hastily thrown back on—Elias in his loose-fitting joggers and Barista in a stolen shirt that definitely wasn’t theirs but smelled like him.
Barista was the first to break the silence, glancing at Elias with a lazy, satisfied smirk. “I think that’s the best “workout” I’ve had all week.”
Elias grinned around his chopsticks, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, I’ll bet. Almost made me forget we were starving before.”
Barista chuckled, twirling some noodles in their bowl. “And now here we are, post-workout meal, looking like we just survived a war.”
Elias leaned back in his chair, his muscles still loose and relaxed from the earlier intensity. He reached over to ruffle Barista’s hair, a playful glint in his eyes. “You say that like I didn’t win.”
Barista raised an eyebrow, pausing mid-bite. “Oh? You won?”
Elias shrugged, fighting a smirk as he slurped more noodles. “I think the evidence speaks for itself.”
He said “ahem” clearing in his throat “Harder Elias!” He screamed,
Barista rolled their eyes, but couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “You’re impossible.”
“I know.” Elias leaned forward, his eyes gleaming mischievously. “But you’re still here, aren’t you?”
Barista gave him a look, a mockingly thoughtful expression. “Hmm, you’ve got a point. But it might just be the ramen. It’s really good.”
Elias feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his chest. “Ouch. Reduced to just being a ramen chef. That’s cold, even for you.”
Barista leaned forward, placing their chopsticks down with a small clatter. “Well,” they said in a low, teasing voice, “you did bring the heat earlier. Guess I’m just balancing it out.”
Elias chuckled, his gaze softening as he watched them. “Fair enough. But next time, I expect some gratitude for my culinary skills. It’s not every day you get ramen like this after... you know.”
Barista smirked, picking up their bowl and taking a long, exaggerated slurp. “Fine. Consider me grateful.”
“Good, because I might just make you crawl over here next time your legs give out.”
Elias laughed, the sound filling the space between them, lightening the air. As they both returned to their meal, the intensity of earlier slowly dissipated, leaving behind a warmth that had nothing to do with the ramen and everything to do with the easy, familiar comfort they shared.
Even after the flames of passion, they found something just as satisfying—quiet moments of laughter, teasing, and noodle-slurping, knowing that whatever came next, they’d face it together.
#sakuverse#zsakuva#peppymintdreamsproduction#elias zsakuva#zsakuva elias#elias being an annoying menace#elias sakuverse#sakuverse elias#elias x reader#barista’s legs no no work#do you think Elias got BDE?#( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#aftercare
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Episode 23
Oh shit what he placed his inner core in someone - in Zhuo Yichen - just before he "died"? Zhuo Yichen has been possessed by Li Lun since then?!!!
No shit sherlock!
Ahhhh this is so fucking ominous!!
Is Zhu Yan even conscious of what's going on around him? Or is he locked in his own mind, fighting to keep control?
Seems like the latter.
This all sounds like Zhuo Yichen's thoughts/feelings though, not Li Lun's? So is he not directly controlling Zhuo Yichen unless he needs to - e.g. to stop his capturing Ao Yin? Other than that he lets him do whatever, as long as it doesn't interfere with his plans. And Zhuo Yichen has come of his own volition to kill Zhu Yan, because he feels there's no other option and he needs to protect the Demon Hunting Bureau...
Honestly, that's kinda worse. If Li Lun directly controlled Zhuo Yichen to kill Zhu Yan, Zhuo Yichen would feel awful about it afterwards. But if he genuinely were to do it of his own volition, albeit because he was manipulated into it, then that would feel much much worse...
Oooh what's going on?
Ayyyy it's the manifestation of Zhu Yan's demon core...
Ooooh that's the freaky bits from the trailer!!
Shiiiit so the bit with the fingers coming up from behind to close over Zhuo Yichen's face, is a depiction of Li Lun taking over control of him!!
Smart girl.
So really it's not so much repairing the baize token as making a new one..
Oh shit Ao Yin!!
God I do love the fight scenes in this show. We've not had a proper one for a while, and Pei Sijing never fails to be badass in them...
Umm.. silly question perhaps, but why didn't one of you dumb fuckers jump up and grab the token a) the second Ao Yin appeared or b) while she was twirling around fighting with Sijing and Ying Lei?
Where did Ao Lin conjure up a copy of Sijing's bow though?
Bloody good job it was that way around otherwise you'd be dead
Yeeeah go Ying Lei!!
This is all very dramatic and all but like... maybe fucking shoot her again instead of just watching her and Xiao Bai face off?
Oh what, no? He's not controlled is he?!!
Wait, Li Lun is controlling Bai Jiu?!
But... he can't be controlling Bai Jiu AND Zhuo Yichen, surely? And it showed us Li Lun taking over Zhuo Yichen just before? So which of them is his core in?!
I'M SO CONFUSED!!!
Oh shiiiitttt he put his core in Bai Jiu when he attacked him in the illusion...
Fuuuuck he was taking over while he was sleeping...
Oh FUCK so he is asleep right now?! Ao Yin knocked him out deliberately so Li Lun could take control...
And Bai Jiu DID give the needle to Zhuo Yichen to use on Zhu Yan... which then raises the question of what the fuck does that needle actually do? Does it force him to expel his core?
Oh SHIT it will allow him to control Zhu Yan?!!
Please wake up Bai Jiu. Pleeeeeeeeeease...
Ooooh clever girl!!!!
OKAY now we got the goddamn goddess back on the team!!!
Yeah that seems like a really BAD idea? Like... deal with the threat in front of you first?
It's 2 on 2 and one of them you don't want to injure. That's not going to go well.
Ayyyy I stand corrected! 3 vs 2! Go baby bro!!
This whole fight just shows how fucking powerful Zhu Yan is. Like... he's not even fucking trying. Zhuo Yichen is leaping around the place, forwning in concentration, launching vigorous attacks... and Zhu Yan barely moves. Just smoothly sidesteps. Doesn't flinch or blink, is just cold and controlled.
Is he... firing frozen bits of his own blood at Zhu Yan? How is that going to help?
Uh.. Wen Xiao... I love you and all and I know you are worried about Zhuo Yichen but can i please suggest you deal with the bigger threat first and contain Zhu Yan before you run to check on Xiao Zhuo?
Oh damn, Ao Yin took the bow? I didn't even notice at the time...
Oh shit are they gonna kiss?!!
Oh dang, nearly... was that the contract to treat her as a colleague kicking in?
Oh noooeeees.... he thinks he's still imagining her!! My HEART!!
lol
Because she's lived 300 fucking years alone to save you buddy...
Wait wtf he BROKE the fucking cloud light sword?!!
Is this where the previous mention that there were 2 cloud light OJ swords made comes into play? Is that their next quest? To find the other sword?
Oooh and did it break because of what happened earlier with Zhu Yan? It seemed to be making crackling/cracking sounds when they were facing off with the sword stuck in Zhu Yan?
Yup - I went back and checked. The sword started cracking when it was stuck in Zhu Yan!
But whyyyy though? It's hardly the first time he's been stabbed with it and this didn't happen... Oh shit though... is this the first time he's been stabbed with the cloud light sword since the baize token was removed from him?!!
What do you mean risk your life? You're a soul trapped in a puppet and able to manifest. I didn't think you could die in a physical fight?
Aaand we're reduced to fisticuffs now between Li Lun and Zhuo Yichen.
The thing is.. Li Lun has used Truth Eye on Zhuo Yichen so he can see him as Li Lun... but he is still possessing and controlling the body of a 13 year old boy who hasn't trained in martial arts. Surely he would simply not have the strength to be packing the kind of blows Li Lun is giving? Orrrrr to throttle Zhuo Yichen like that?
Wheeeeerrrrre the fuck is Zhu Yan? Come on my boy, I am waiting on you to dive in and save the day!!
Come onnnnn Xiao Bai, break free!!
I think you might underestimate the boy Li Lun...
Oh god damn this is just painful...
OH SHIT!!
You fucking bastard Li Lun...
Oh shit what he planned this from the start? He knew the ever-burning wood would kill him once the seal was broken - Wen Zongyu had planned from the fucking start to use Xiao Bai's body to host Li Lun!!
You tell him Zhu Yan!
If it's true that you saved the memory of what happened in the dungeon in the sundial you can prove it to him.
Oh man that was EXHAUSTING!! And the ep ends with Bai Jiu still controlled by Li Lun!! Do we get new episodes tomorrow? Pleeeeeease don't tell me I have to wait a whole extra day?!!!
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Maybe I’m just being dramatic but it does legitimately scare and sadden me to see that a lot of transandrophobia truthers are literally just…young boys. Like, actual children. Like you’re not even old enough to vote yet and you have your whole life ahead of you and yet you are being manipulated into joining an mra group that hates trans women with a passion and thinks that men are oppressed in society for being men, and constantly uses Black men as their talking point in order to sound diverse and inclusive, meanwhile they’re also appropriating and misusing terminology specifically created by Black women to talk about our own oppression in order to get their misandry point across…to say nothing of the fact that the largest people in this group(including but not limited to its creator!) have misogynistic rape/detrans kinks centered specifically around preying on lesbians and trans women and this is something that is normalized and defended by the vast majority of transandrophobia truthers, or at least defended viciously by every single transandrodork that I’ve ever encountered who argued with me(a lesbian!!!) that actually there’s nothing wrong with getting off to the corrective rape of women because two consenting adults can do whatever they want in the bedroom(yeah right)! Not to mention I have yet to come across a transandrophobia truther who wasn’t also a raging die-hard Zionist.
And that’s why it disturbs me so much to see young trans boys jumping onto this transmisogynistic hate train like you guys realize these men don’t have your best interests at heart, right? They’re only going to manipulate you into being a sexist entitled asshat who shuns and bullies the trans women in your community and sees them as oppressing you. Like I know you’re still in middle/high school but you can still think for yourselves, you can choose to be better than this, you can choose to actually learn about feminism and realize that it’s not actually misandry that oppresses you, it’s transphobia. Misandry doesn’t suddenly become real because you slap a trans paint over it that’s not how it works that’s not how intersectionality works that’s not how any of this shit works. There are better trans men to talk to about trans issues who know that the patriarchy is real and don’t shit on trans women in order to speak out about trans topics, so go seek them out, okay? You absolutely do not have to listen to shit that the “male supremacists but trans” group of lowlives has to say. Hell, tell them to fuck off instead! Please, I promise you that there are much better options, there are ALWAYS better options, and you still have time to escape before they fully radicalize you into basically being an incel. There will ALWAYS be another way. ❤️
#transmisogyny#trans women#trans#lesbian#lesbophobia#transandrophobia is not real#sexism#misogyn#misogynoir#anti-blackness#racism#tw corrective rape#op#yes this is a vaguepost no i’m not naming names bc he’s a minor and i don’t want him to get harassed#but it does legitimately unnerve me and make me so sad#i normally mock transandrobros brutally if they’re older than me but when they’re children which is disturbingly becoming quite common#like sweetheart you still have recess what are you DOING#i don’t wanna sound like i think kids are stupid or know nothing or anything like that#because like i said many of them CAN make the choice to be better#it’s just also true that many kids are very impressionable and vulnerable and don’t have anywhere else to turn to so it’s hardly a surprise#that many of them turn to people who are really not worth listening to such as in these cases#so when i see a transandrophobia truther ruthlessly arguing that men are oppressed and then i go to their profile and it says 14 it’s like#how am i supposed to make fun of that now i’m just sad they need help#or to just grow up lol#if they’re lucky then these teenage trans boys will mature out of the idea that misandry is real and trans women are speaking over them in#the community/the source of all their problems#if they’re not lucky then they’ll turn out like…your everyday mra ig and no one wants to see that#at least i don’t
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Betty
Hii guyss, here's the second one-shot about Taylor Swift's folklore love triangle, starring Max as James. If you want to read more stories of mine here's my masterlist or August's point of view :)
Max stood on the uneven cobblestones outside her house, heart pounding like a drum in the silence of the neighborhood. The sharp, crisp scent of autumn mingled with the dying sweetness of summer on the breeze. He’d been here countless times before, but tonight felt different—like a last chance, a thin thread he was desperate not to lose.
Each step up the path to her door echoed in his ears, the weight of guilt pressing on his chest. He could still see her eyes from that day at the paddock, wide with disbelief and betrayal before she’d turned away, taking the light with her. The memory was a blade that cut deeper with each replay.
Rumors had spread like wildfire—cruel, twisted versions of the truth whispered by voices that never knew how much it hurt. It was Kika who told her, who confirmed what was real, and even though she was often dramatic, this time, there was no exaggeration. The worst thing he ever did was what he did to her, and every time he thought about it, the shame dug deeper.
The summer had started as an escape, a fleeting thing that he thought wouldn’t matter. But it had turned into something far worse—a betrayal of the one person who did matter. He hadn’t planned to get so caught up, hadn’t realized that with every stolen moment and whispered laugh, he was tying knots in a web that would eventually ensnare them all.
He clenched his fists, rehearsing the words he’d been practicing for weeks. Apologies that felt empty and hollow in his own mouth, promises that seemed small compared to the hurt he had caused. His throat tightened as he rang the doorbell, the sound sharp and final in the night air.
The seconds dragged, and just as doubt began to gnaw at him, the door opened. There she stood, framed in the golden glow of the hallway light, arms crossed protectively over her chest. Her expression was guarded, eyes searching his face, and it took everything in him not to break under her gaze.
“I know I’m the last person you want to see,” Max started, voice rough with emotion. “But I need you to hear this, even if it changes nothing”
She said nothing, but the fact that she didn’t shut the door was a thread of hope. He took a breath, forcing himself to meet her eyes.
“I messed up,” he continued, the words tumbling out like a confession. “It’s always been you. I spent the summer running from that, but all I did was run in circles that brought me back to you.”
Her gaze flickered, something unreadable shifting there. The silence stretched, so heavy he thought he might drown in it.
“I hate that I hurt you. The worst thing I ever did was betray your trust, and I’d give anything to take it back,” Max said, his voice cracking. “I thought I was protecting myself, being careless, but I ended up losing the only thing that really matters. I know it’s asking too much, but if there’s even a chance… if there’s even a piece of you that could forgive me…”
He took a small step closer, close enough to see the way her lashes trembled. “I’m here now, not knowing anything but this: I miss you, and I’m sorry. And I need to know if there’s a chance—any chance—that you could forgive me.”
She looked away for a moment, her lashes brushing her cheek as she blinked back whatever thoughts clouded her mind. The silence between them felt fragile, like a breath could shatter it.
“I know I can’t erase what I did, but I need you to know I’d spend forever trying to make it right,” he whispered, stepping just close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her presence.
Her eyes met his, and he held his breath, searching for anything—any flicker of the girl who’d once welcomed him with a smile that felt like home. But she said nothing. And though the silence was filled with the tension of words unsaid, he felt a faint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, she was listening.
“I’ll wait,” he said, voice almost breaking. “For as long as it takes.”
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#folklore
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just an overstatement bc I know you guys know but still. no harm in repeating it.
your fandom experience is safe with me. whether we ship the same or not, whether we like the same characters or not, whether we agree with tropes, arcs, theories or not. i will never recur to homophobia, hate speech or other just bc smth isn’t my thing. if it isn’t my thing I won’t engage. I will always go out of my way to support the creators. I believe in tolerance and I believe in community. even if it’s an online one about a silly show. i respect the people behind the characters, the blogs and the show. i respect the character themselves.
so please, be assured that your fandom experience is safe with me.
#this sound a tad dramatic but tbh I’ve seen a lot of mutuals genuinely triggered about this#and very upset about not knowing who to trust and who to block and whatever#this is the last post I’ll make bc i think we should focus on positivity to outweigh the negative#911#911 abc#911 fox#911 tv show#911 on abc#911 show#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard
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+
#I always knew there was a possibility that Buck and Tommy would not last forever. Fine. Whatever.#I just really needed the joy bubble to last a little longer. Lol.#I know it sounds like I'm being dramatic but I am literally on the verge of tears#This has been the year from hell and BuckTommy was such lowstakes lighthearted fun#I just needed it to last a little longer#Yeah I'm going to be whiny. Sorry. It's my god given right#tv: 911#911: 08 x 06#911 spoilers
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hot take, mike and el arent in love, because they are fourteen
well i guess mike is fifteen but still like as someone who has been fourteen/fifteen
GUESS WHO I WAS NOT DATING:
A. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
B. MY FUTURE SIGNIFICANT OTHER
C. ANYONE WHO I WOULD BE ABLE TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO AND ACTUALLY FUCKING MEAN IT
D. ALL OF THE ABOVE (the answer is D by the way)
LIKE Y'ALL THEY ARE FOURTEEN
THEY MET WHEN THEY WERE TWELVE
"I knew right then and there in that moment that I loved you" MY ASS
#byler#mike wheeler#like i truly need to stress this so much this is NOT mileven hate like this is putting any like feature or fact about their dynamic aside#they are children#and yes i know there are people who meet their partners when they're young kids childhood friends to lovers is a trope for a reason#but no one NO ONE (or at least statistically very few people cuz i know my ass was not)#is making for real love declarations at Fourteen (or Fifteen humor me)#and “oh rey then how can you ship lumax-” LUMAX HASNT SAID I LOVE YOU YET#LUMAX IS THE MOST ACCURATE DEPICTION OF AN EARLY TEENAGE ROMANCE IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED SHOW BECAUSE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE SO AWKWARD#AND ITS ADORABLE#AND THATS IT#THEY HAVENT EVEN KISSED SINCE SEASON 2#YOU WANNA KNOW WHY??#BECAUSE THAT'S REALISTIC#BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS AND KISSING IS GROSS#listen im not saying this with the intention that ohh kids are immature they dont know what true feelings are blah blah blah#kids have feelings no shit#but esPECIALLY when it comes to mileven it seems so goddamned performative#like it FEELS like they both just watched a bunch of romance movies and are now mimicking whatever they've seen the adults in those movies#(who are supposedly in love) do#like watch lucas's talk with max in the back of the like trailer thing where he tells her he wants her to stop pushing him away watch that#and then tell me mike's aMaZinG AnD drAmaTiC LOvE cONfESioN doesnt sound formulaic as fuck#like you wanna know how a teenager makes a love confession#they say smth emotionally vulnerable; want to die after saying the emotionally vulnerable thing; and then tell a shitty joke to salvage it#not “I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods” no fucking teenager says that#and that is why lumax is as mr mclaughlin said himself: “real love”#damn i kinda cooked with the tags on this one#(also fun fact i learned that tumblr has a tag limit by making this post which is why half of the tags are at the 140 character limit)
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no. no way. not sleeping until they make a country, jazz, or blues album/ep.
#i sound insane (shocking) but hear me out#remember when they were in nashville or smth and we all went nuts abt them doing country#ok now just imagine that#i don’t mean like…. bluegrass level but i think they’d do well w that kind of sound#and jazz is so complicated but so loose sounding and free. any contradictions ring a bell ?!?!#feel like they’d have so much fun experimenting in other genres especially cause they both have#a huge range of music that they’re influenced by#and they probably have the voices to pull off whatever they please#their dramatic asses would likely end up w something more along prog rock#but i could HEAR it . it came to me in a vision#YOU know who.
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Old men yaoi except they're not old they're not men and it's not yaoi
#gosslate#hi#if you squint it sounds like polyfounders but that wasnt the intention lol#camma the drawer#gossan#slate#porphy#feldspar#hornfels#esker#outer wilds gossan#outer wilds slate#outer wilds#i just like the concept of gossan and slate making everyhting over dramatic and complicated while porphy is just like.#hi guys you do know you can do whatever you want and i dont care#this was my propaganda. bye#tw suggestive#sketch dump
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Why can't the churches with choirs and pipe organs and stained glass windows have a bit more theological rigor??
#i am constantly forced to reject churches with beautiful music and sanctuaries I can see myself getting married in#in favor of rigorous theology#and like. i will every time#but how it that fair??#i maintain that truly beautiful churches and stained glass windows and pipe organs should belong by right#to Christians committed to taking the Bible seriously#it makes me so sad every time I live near a church with gorgeous carillon bells and know I'll never even consider membership there#bc i see the titles of their sermons on the signpost out front every week and *yikes dudes I'm praying for you*#or like that time i was invited to come sing in the choir at a church where both my voice teacher and my choir director were involved#like. a church regionally famous for having a truly fantastic choir#and obviously had to turn them down because I've read their what we believe page and they only mention 2/3 of the trinity#why can't a girl have it all?????#honestly this is the most compelling reason imo to move back to southern California#lots of beautiful Presbyterian churches with sound theology AND choirs and organs and beautiful sanctuaries#but alas#i am here#and so i suffer#(I'm being dramatic. I'm sure whatever church God has for me will be great)#but also#just#sigh#can't a reformed girlie want a pipe organ? as a treat?#pontifications and creations#new adventures#sunday school kid
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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