#I kinda feel numb now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eddiesangels · 4 days ago

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after tit.

I don’t even wanna leave this parking spot. like this was genuinely one of the best days of my life. the people were amazing, my seat was amazing. I think I need to schedule an eye doctors appointment tho. they’re actually real. seeing them during the q&a was crazy work. I was most shocked by dan for some fucking reason. like he’s there. maybe cause he was closer but my god bruh. I was giggling kicking my feet not even kidding. they didn’t read my question but it’s ok, there was a fuck ton put in.

who wants to buy me another ticket for another show. not even kidding. and I spent so much on merch, and I accidentally tipped 14 bucks bruh. said 10% so I’m thinking 2 bucks. no fricking 14 BUCKSSSS.

ugh.

guys, dan howell really said something when he said that thing about embracing the cringe cause I embraced it so hard today in my phreddy phazbear fit.

also I did cry at the beginning of the show, like full tears fell. but that’s it. didn’t tear up at the nice little moment towards the end. cried when they came out. it was that fuck ass intro with the hi my name is phil and fuck

I think I need to be a youtuber

no cause they’re living their dream together and doing stupid shit for people like us whom are also them and bruhhhhhhhhh

someone was reading fanfiction during the intermission

sorry, I also haven’t done anything in 5ever. so maybe that’s also. I’m gonna take the backroads home cause I don’t wanna drive on the Boston highway rn at night

love you all. thank you for the ticket, thank you for saying hi, thank you for being there, thank you dan and phil, thank you this free parking spot I found.

gang don’t kill yourself 😂😂😂🙂‍↕️😎

- update. I’ve been sitting in my car for 20 minutes. <3 also might take highway but the lights r too bright !

was thinking of stalking dnp van but that’s too much work (joke)

#just me talking about tit and stuff #me talking #man #I kinda feel numb now #they ran past I think I was like woah amazingphil with his 6 pack ran by me kinda by me

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starry-bi-sky · 27 days ago

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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

#svsss #luo binghe #svsss au #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #disciple shen yuan #lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops #im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either #had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him #when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi #hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th #sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his #back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's #face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is #INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and #the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of #his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so #unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face #and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc #he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]

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siyuri · 5 months ago

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Ef's moment of respite at the bottom of the Mariana Trench from amazing story Falling Falling Stars by @not-poignant

#new #my art #I planned a lot of things #but now I am kinda numb emotionally #cause sister's nearly divorce crises and her husband being my best coworker #and me not managing my talks in my head lol #soooo I don't think I will draw anything for a long time #rip plans but life always happens #and maybe it a good thing #anyways #oh how I enjoyed drawing this one!#I've never drew anything bigger than like 2k pixels #and this one was meant to be printed on A3+#and the first time I did the right size for it I was like WHAT? DO? YOU? MEAN?#when I am at 100% it's only one rock at my whole screen #but then I figured out that like... I can draw details ten times moooooore #spending 8hours on one roooock!!!#MORE SPACE #and I dont know shit about proffesional stuff with exposition and placement and shadows and colours #so details everywhere as I go #and I love to think that the portal to the lake with antlers bars is portal to Augus' lake #and I wanted water snails and knitted jelly fish and kinda blanket but water themed so it's a big algue piece #and it just piled up #and the colours feel was the most relaxing thing to look at all the time #yeah #really proud of this one

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candyheartedchy · 3 months ago

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Hoping I’m not dealing with burnout again…

#kinda struggling rn not gonna lie #like before I been kinda having a hard time drawing any self ship stuff #so I ended up working on my original stuff for a bit #but now I kinda feel a little numb??#and I haven’t been very active or checking/responding to my notifications late #it could just be my depression acting up again #which would suck since I been doing better #but I’m also struggling to enjoy things rn #so i apologize for not being very active #💬 chy chatter 💬#ventish #vent #i guess just in case

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cosmicheartz · 3 months ago

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I should probably be going to bed but I was thinking a lil abt recovery arc Clem and how he has a bit of an identity crisis due to the fact that his depression was a huge part of his personality/identity and in a weird way he found comfort in the misery and now that he’s bettering his mental health that sort of fog/misery funk he’s been in has been clearing up and now Clem is struggling a bit to figure out who he is/wants to be

#idk if I worded it right but I hope u guys understand what I mean #after he abandoned the cheerleader/sporty/jock persona he barely had any long lasting hobbies or interests #he was mostly just trying to survive so to speak #and never truly lived #he was also super anti recovery #like he felt like he wouldn’t recover or be happy ever #and was stuck in a cycle of being emotionally numb or angry/sad #now that he’s starting to feel happy it’s a bit scary and overwhelming #i personally don’t think he’d really return to the jock persona he had at camp but he does work out/excerise with Crystal often #I also think he gets into art #particularly drawing and writing #both bc it’s partially a nod to better off dead and also I just think it’s a good outlet for him #esp drawing more darker/disturbing stuff #it’s kinda cathartic for him to just vent out all his frustrations in a drawing #cosmic chatz #psychonauts #clem foote

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cavennmalore · 2 months ago

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what is actually stopping keefe from taking someone’s ability. he can sense them and can command people at will. what is to stop him from saying idk “talentless” and boom

#like keefes abilities are kinda fucked #and this would be the merging of both of his abilities #so hoping we get to see a little creativity with them in unraveled #and also now that he’s numb he can’t feel as much guilt???#dare i say it. most dangerous person in the entire lost cities is a teenage boy with low empathy #keefe sencen

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halfdeadwallfly · 6 days ago

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quick tip uh cinnamon can burn your mouth and if it does it will last for a while

#boink #do you want to know how i found this out #huh #i need stimulation to focus and anyway the other day the shop was out of my regular gum so i got cinnamon instead #and then i was like oh huh it feels kind of nice when you press it on your tongue #like it burns #but if you push through it #thats kinda nice #anyway now its been almost a week and my tongue is still kinda numb #so #i guess just dont do that lmao

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calyptramoths · 4 months ago

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my mom died a month ago. i turned 19 today

#im pretty numb to it by now but i guess im just feeling kinda somber?#my art #art #digital art #myself #2024 art #i think me posting this with a sad/personal caption will make people afraid to interact with it in ways that arent apologetic #bc i think i would also feel that way #but if youre reading this and also feel that way do not worry you do not have to apologize or feel weird about interacting #if u want to like the post. like it. if you want to reblog. reblog it. if you want to wish me happy birthday then you can #dont feel limited by the somber-ness of the caption and think i will be upset that youre not crying for me or something

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evisxerate · 2 years ago

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Everything kinda sucks a lot like all the time BUT. the feeling of wearing something I just patched feels good so y'know. life is still worth living I think

#finally finished my jeans + patched up my fav shorts and wearing them feels rly fucking nice #sewing is kinda numbing my brain to all the awful shit about being an alive sober adult person in Society™#diy is so soothing fr #NOW THO i have to battle another store on my own and im :(#roach.txt

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thal-ent · 5 months ago

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Having a wild day /neg

#thal talk #tw death #woke up in a not-facist and even left leaning country for the first time in a while #then learned my ex bf and close friend died of mucoviscidose today #then said goodbye to my mom and cried even more before going and starting to move #gosh #for now i just feel kinda numb but i know his death will hit me again and again the more it sets in

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kaijubrains · 9 months ago

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Finally got some good news. I've been booked in for top surgery on the 12th June!

It doesn't feel real right now.

I have this looming sense of dread that something will go horribly wrong.

As if they've booked dates that actually aren't available.

It's also still dependent on me losing 6 pounds of weight. And also being granted a large loan of money. I can't relax just yet until I KNOW those won't be a barrier. It's not a guarantee.

#rant #i should be overjoyed but right now i cant process feelings #it has not sunk in that it is real #just kinda numb #wish my brain wasnt like this

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desperatepleasures · 1 year ago

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oh no it's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

unexpected urge to cry!

#im fine im just uhhh processing shit #listened to rothko by dessa one too many times and an emotion slipped out!!!#(im good tho i made the right choice in leaving the house today i feel so much better in so many ways)#(but oh boy grief just hits you whenever it wants to huh!)#well i think maybe the sad is a good thing. cause i was kinda numb for a while #and now im experiencing like the full range of human emotions and it's catching me off guard #and well it's hard but id rather occasionally break down crying in my beautiful little bedroom that i love so much #than ever go back to how i was living before #i didnt even realize how bad it was at the time. like i thought i was doing fine. ha #doth oversharing hour

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inkteresting-art · 3 months ago

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No more ADHD pills, officially on Sertraline since it makes me feel awesome again, no more dwelling on drama and people :]

#sadly it's had to feel sad now-#since I mentioned feeling kinda chill and emotionally numb that's suppose to happen #never the less it fixed my IBS issues and GURD and I'm satisfied with not feeling broken #If you do suffer from anxiety of gut related issues please look into antidepressants they are wonderful #Fandom's issues #Just don't mix them with ADHD meds