#I just want to have 24/7 free time and have no need and don't feel strange to bring up such topics
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tapakah0 · 1 year ago
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Okay... a little serious talk (nervous, don't like such a topics but I won't go anywhere if won't bring it up)
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In the next month college will start again, that means I'll have... much more less free time... or I'll be staying up all nights (And I will, because I want to create, but my health doesn't like it at all *chuckle*)
I don't work, all my day I literally draw (and if I have an opportunity to freely draw while I can, I will), but sometimes I still have to take commissions because... I don't like to ask for something and feel uncomfortable if it's something that I didn't earn myself, I have something that I need and sadly it isn't made out of grass *giggle*
The point is, I'm 100% I will be working on "Agnes" animatic in my free time, aaaand I can make some kind of monthly subscription (on boosty, sorry if it is unusual for you, but it's the only option for me) where I can send all wips, scream about what I want to show or add, I'm pretty sure I will be working on more than 1 animatic simultaneously and will be screaming about it too (that means I will stop shitposting and throwing wips every few minutes on tumblr and then delete to develop your paranoia XDDD (And Cass won't see anything, two rabbits with one stone), pretty sure you can ask me some questions here and I will try to answer, I was thinking about streaming process of animation but not sure that it will be interesting (it will be quiet)
In the end, of course, I will be publishing everything! I always do, I don't keep anything for myself *giggle* It's just, I think if there's any point for it if there won't be anyone. In that case I will continue taking commissions anyway and keep animating, just in slower pace~
I will delete it later if it's a useless idea
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anaalnathrakhs · 6 months ago
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"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?
#like idk. can you care about stuff that matters? i guess is what i'm asking?#sorry that my own self-directed problems hurt you <3#sorry that i'm a horrible person if i talk about it and a horrible person if i don't <3#i just shouldn't have problems i guess cant believe i didnt think abt that#sorry i don't really care if people would be sad to see me die#would actually be pretty nice to get past the huge feeling of guilt over not being helpful all the fucking time#like i can't go through life being a service dog for everybody around me#(and i dont to be clear. it's not possible and when i say i feel guilty over not doing it it doesn't mean i do 100% of the time)#(i do try to be helpful and useful and i hate missing an opportunity but also i don't have 24/7 free of obligations)#(and i can't magically spot and correctly understand what could need help)#(but i feel like it does take up a good portion of my life. mostly bc everybody around me has Problems rn)#(and because the overlap of ''things that feel good for me'' and ''things that are good for other people'' is pretty small so far)#it's just. yknow. i would like it if for once i could express a negative feeling without it being a huge offense to people around me#ejhrkthrjeh i know i'm just asking the universe if pretty please my actions could have zero consequences and it's overall unrealistic#but like. god. i wish for once it was met with indifference. casual vibes. not a huge deal yknow.#some of my friends do sometimes! it's nice! but of course i can't talk abt the problems that directly include them#i know it makes me so shit at reacting to ppls problems. like either i overcompensate with the worry cuz i feel like thats what they want#or i react coldly and dont provide anything useful to the situation#broadcasting my misery#vent
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blujayonthewing · 2 years ago
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#speaking of 'getting mad because people don't meaningfully engage with fantasy lifespans' #EVERYONE overlooks the cultural nuance in dnd that elves are /physically/ mature not much later than humans #but are not considered an adult until some self-declared point of maturity usually around the age of 100 #that is. DIFFERENT. than 'a 50 year old elf is basically a literal child' no it ISN'T! it's a CULTURAL RECOGNITION #elves don't think it's possible for humans to mature into a really meaningful adulthood because they literally don't live long enough #'poor things have to settle down and work and marry and have children and die before they can even figure themselves out :/' #gnomes don't subscribe to this because of course they don't it's a cultural viewpoint but also they largely think it's stupid #oh yeah? you're all done growing up after 100 years? nothing left to learn about yourself as a person? #you Become An Adult when you're Wise And Mature which is a single static thing that happens in the first 1/6th of your life? #wow amazing it must be cool to be so enlightened 🙄
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@ragsy YES EXACTLY!!
and on one end I love the idea that elves do this for literal decades and still eventually go 'okay yeah this time it's FOR REAL for real 😌', although, to be fair, I suspect what actually happens is that elves reach 'adulthood' once they have grown and matured and experienced enough of life to realize and internalize that growth has no endpoint and that the big 'I am An Adult now' feeling they were waiting for IS the recognition that that feeling doesn't really exist-- although I'm sure there are also a lot of elves that just hit the 100 marker and go 'aha, The Milestone. I am now An Adult, filled with Experience and Wisdom 😌' without actual meaningful growth and introspection, because people are nuanced and imperfect
on the other end the way dnd players engage with this is like if irl humans culturally moved that 'adulthood' pin up to 25 officially and then people were like 'so a 20 year old is a Literal Actual Child then'
if a human asks a gnome when gnomes reach adulthood, they'll probably pin it somewhere between 25 and 40, depending on how they're interpreting the question; if an elf asks, they'll say "oh, we don't"
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venomhound · 2 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel - Petname Headcanons
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Headcanons for what terms of endearment Vox, Alastor, and Lucifer use in their relationships. I was going to do more characters, but this post got too long (AGAIN), so I just did my favs. If enough people want it, I can do a part 2? Maybe? MAYHAPS?
Valentino DLC post now available >>HERE<<
Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; talks about what yall like to be called during sex; Daddy/Mommy kinks; Valentino mention; Lucifer really needs therapy you guys (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
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Vox ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
What He Calls You
(NOTE: Huge credit to @bindeds for the whole 'Vox does sappy petnames' headcanon. You should read their post with it >here<. Its lived rent free in my head since I read it.)
Honestly? Vox is a menace when it comes to terms of endearment.
Vox loves to get creative and call you super sappy stuff. Things like sugar bear, honey kisses, love dove, cuddle cake.... I pray you can at least tolerate this because I have no doubt that Vox has sent past partners running for the hills by doing this.
These silly names tend to come in waves. Vox will have one that he likes to call you, use it for a short bit, then switch it up for a different one. So if there is one you particularly don't like, at least you never have to deal with it for more then a few days.
Vox doesn't like to talk about you in front of the cameras (he has a deep fear that your going to end up stolen). But when he does, he avoids using your actual name. Instead Vox calls you more... conventionally sappy petnames. Like dearest, or starlight.
Not embarrassed at all about calling you these things in front of millions of viewers. He loves you so much and feels so lucky to have you. In a perfect world and if this wasn't, you know, Hell, Vox would just openly brag about you on air 24/7.
While Vox always seems to have something new to call you, the one name that sticks around and actually gets used consistently is sugar. A classic 50s petname. He thinks it particularly suits you because your, well, sweet as sugar. And you make everything in his life better.
What You Call Him
Vox could not care less what you call him. I don't mean that in a 'he doesn't care' way, no, its the opposite. I mean you could call him literally whatever you want and Vox will love it. He just wants to be called something special and to know he is special to you.
I'm not kidding here. Everything is on the table. Cutesy names, sappy ones, playful nicknames... Literally whatever you want as long as its not straight up demeaning or embarrassing.
Don't call him Voxy though. Yeah, its a cute name he will admit; and it sounds bittersweet coming from your lips. But that name is just far too associated with Valentino. It brings back so many painful memories and raw resentment that Vox would rather not experience in your presence. If he has to at all.
I've always pictured Vox being that guy who never wants to hear his real name come from your mouth once you two start dating. You all know the type of guy I'm talking about. Dude will have an actual breakdown.
You two could be having a serious conversation or heated argument, but as soon as you say 'Vox' nothing else matters to him. Vox just gapes at you and is like "Since when am I VOX to you?! I'M YOUR CUDDLE BEAR." Or insert whatever name you use for him. He says it completely serious too.
NSFW Section
A little ironic considering he hates hearing his actual name come from your mouth normally; but when you two are in the bedroom, Vox wants you to say nothing but his name.
Vox loves nothing more then when he fucks you stupid on his cock or overstimulates you to where his name is the only word you know. When you start moaning his name like a prayer or chanting it as your voice cracks.
There is nothing more beautiful to him then those sounds. Vox could cum from those sounds alone; and he has many times. Times when one of you was away or you two were otherwise separated.
Vox would play back the sounds of your pleading during your last time together to himself. He had been away from you for too long. He desperately needed to hear your voice, his name from your lips. Its like a drug to him.
Vox tends to lean towards gentler, more classic names in the bedroom. He whispers how much he missed you, darling. While his lips greedily take yours again and again. He will kiss down your neck, mumbling against your skin how he cant wait to make his sweetheart feel good. Gorgeous, beautiful, and handsome also frequently leave his lips once more skin starts getting exposed.
I have always headcanoned Vox as a switch. When he veers towards that more dominant, possessive side, he will start using more sexually charged names like babe or kitten. But if you two have been together a long time or you end up tying the knot.... Now Vox just babbles about how perfect his wife or his husband is as he plows into you over and over.
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Alastor ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
What He Calls You
Poor deer man. Quite bluntly, he has no idea what to do when he gets actual feelings for someone. I mean, yeah, he know what to do; in theory. In practice however, its a whole different story. Things are always much easier in theory then actual reality.
Perfect example of this is when you two first become an item and Alastor tries to legitimately flirt with you. Alastor lays it on just a little bit too thick and goes straight to calling you baby.
The entire hotel gets thrown for a loop. Husk chokes on his drink, Angel Dust fucking yowls, and Vaggie is cringing into the next century.
Fun fact: 'baby' first started being used as a term of endearment in the 1920s and was all the rage during that time. So Alastor probably actually used it.
Poor boomer Alastor doesn't understand what happened until he vents to Rosie about it and she laughs at him too. Rosie has to explain to Alastor that the whole 'baby' thing has taken on a much more sexual connotation during the last, you know, hundred years.
Alastor is somehow even more embarrassed about the whole faux pas upon knowing the full context then he was before.
To avoid another, ahem... incident. Alastor just straight up asks what you would like him to call you. As long as its not something too weird or sappy he will oblige.
If you tell him to call you whatever he wants, Alastor is going to be like a deer in the headlights (pun intended) due to what happened last time. Will probably just stick to your name for awhile or test things out in private first.
Alastor is partial to calling you darling, my dear, or just love. Whichever seems to make your heart flutter most.
You can always tell when Alastor is in a particularly good/playful mood because he will call you my doe (if your female) or my buck (if your male). Alastor will also use this name if he is showing you off or you've done something to make him proud of you.
What You Call Him
If you were to ask him? Alastor would tell you to simply call him by his name or just Al. Says he isnt fond of petnames even though he uses them all the time. Guy is strange.
If you do start using petnames he wont stop you. Do keep it classy however. Don't call him anything super silly, or too sexual. He now has a vendetta against the name baby so don't call him that either.
Alastor will never directly say he likes the name, but you have noticed that when you call him love or my love his smile gets a bit wider and his eyes relax a bit.
You can get away with teasing names in private. Like princess for instance. When you first called Alastor that he gave you the dirtiest look. Not in a sexual way. I mean in a 'I dare you to call me that again, brat' way.
The second time you called him princess, Alastor's ears flattened against his head and he warned you to kindly refrain from that name. However, he couldn't hide how his tail was wagging playfully.
The third time you knew exactly what you were doing as you bolted in the opposite direction right after calling him a precious princess. Alastor, wide eyed and absolutely feral, immediately dropped everything in his hands, shattering several glasses, and gave chase.
Its become a weird game between the two of you. Alastor will never admit how much he loves to see that defiant spark in your eyes.
NSFW Section
Just like any other time, Alastor simply prefers to hear his name above all else when things get steamy. Although he does have a weak spot for being called master...
Likewise, Alastor tends to call you his pet. And like any good master with their pet, Alastor's ultimate goal is your safety and comfort. That doesn't mean he wont push you to your limits or make you perform for him however. The name is more of an unspoken promise that he will never actually hurt you.
Out of all the guys, Alastor is the one you would least expect to have a thing for calling you mommy in the bedroom (regardless of your gender). This usually happens when your overstimulated and/or Alastor is deep into a servicing mode, trying to make you feel as good as possible, and pulling as many orgasms from you as he physically can.
It also happens during his ruts. Alastor will vacillate between calling you mommy or his mate. He will growl into your neck how good of a mate you are as he fucks into you. How you are all his. Then after Alastor fills you to the brim with cum he will tell you how he, 'Cant wait for Mommy to have my fawns. Lets see how much more Mommy can take, hm?'
The whole mommy kink is a secret he will take with him to oblivion however. Alastor will make sure anyone who knows of it does too.
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Lucifer ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
What He Calls You
Sorry; but I'm on the bandwagon that Lucifer uses duck based petnames for his partner. Duck or ducky are his go to names. Period. Especially when he is excited about something or gushing over how cute you are.
Lucifer genuinely thinks your as cute as a duck. Coming from him, thats quite a compliment. If you let him, Lucifer will 100% do the cutesy baby-talk voice at you when you do something particularly endearing and his cuteness meter is overloading.
When Lucifer is in front of people and trying to act normal (as in, masking hardcore), he will instead address you by a rather curt darling or my dear.
Although it may come across like Lucifer is distancing himself from you, he isn't actively trying to be less affectionate to you at all. Crowds/people in general are just super stressful for the guy and he is trying his absolute best to look like he has his shit together.
Once he relaxes a bit, you get some liquid courage in him, or if you two are with some friends, Lucifer moves to more intimate names.
When you go to sit, Lucifer will beckon you to come closer, doll, until your practically sitting on his lap. Then he will look at you with the most adoring eyes as he asks how are you enjoying yourself, sweetheart? He really does love you more then you can imagine.
What You Call Him
Lucifer tends to like the sweetest, sappiest terms of endearment. The ones that make your chest fill with butterflies and anyone within earshot nauseous. God bless the hotel for dealing with your shit because you two are actual diabetes.
Call him teddy bear, cuddle bug, or snuggs because of how physically affectionate he is. Also just because of how wonderful Lucifer's cuddles are and how you both could spend the rest of eternity in each other's arms.
Other good options are muffin, honey bun, or cupcake. Why the food names? Because Lucifer LOVES to cook for you of course! Its not just the pancakes either, this guy actually does know how to cook. One of his favorite things is to surprise you with a night in and a completely home made three course meal. (But thats for another post!)
If you want to compete with Lucifer's whole duck thing and give him a matching bird petname, you can call him lovebird. Lucifer might return the favor and start calling you his lovebird too. Because its exactly what you are. You both really are just a pair of lovebirds.
If you don't like ANY of those, buttercup or sweetpea are also good options. Two cute flower names that tie nicely into Lucifer's whole 'garden of Eden' thing.
You could also straight up call him cutie. Its a vicious cycle with this one. Because whenever you call him that, Lucifer gets the happiest, most adorable smile on his face. So you end up wanting to call him it more...
You got lots of great options with him. But if you want something more """serious"""; sweetie, sweetheart, honey, or shortening his name to Luci will still make his heart flutter without getting too crazy.
Another fun thing you can do, is call him my King or my Liege before kissing the back of his hand. Lucifer cant help but get flustered and start giggling like an idiot.
NSFW Section
Do I even need to say it? Do I even need to say what two words turn this man into an actual puddle on the spot?
Like seriously. Those words hold so much power that you have to be super careful with how you wield it. Lucifer could be so distracted, excitedly telling you about a new project he is working on. Then you just mutter how much of a good boy he is and every muscle in Lucifer's body instantly tenses. You giggle as you see a surprised shudder run up his spine. His cock already standing at full attention.
Lucifer has a weakness for the name pretty boy as well. Caress his soft skin, leaving a trail of hot kisses, before whispering how much of a pretty boy he is; and Lucifer will reward you with the most sinful moans.
Be careful with him though; Lucifer may be the sin of pride, king of hell, and the fucking devil, but the man wears his heart on his sleeve and can easily be hurt by your words if your not careful.
Don't degrade him. This actually really hurts him and can easily send Lucifer spiraling. Before punishments, tell him he has been a bad boy, a naughty boy. Tell him he has to make up for it and prove how good he really is.
Praise on both of your ends. Lucifer constantly tells you how beautiful, gorgeous, and/or handsome you are. When you return the praise, the devil melts.
Lucifer will call you angel or my angel, because to him, your beauty rivals all of heaven itself. You also came into his life and saved him as if you were an angel sent just for him. He knows that would never happen of course; but he likes to dream.
Has a lowkey daddy kink as well but is ashamed of it since he is an actual dad. But you can easily get him riled up by playing into it and calling yourself baby or mommy. Ooohh boy will this devil then be ready to actually make you a mommy~
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AN: If you want a part 2, please say what characters you want. I started an Adam one, and I wanted to do an Angel Dust one. But Im open to whatever?
FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
Cute fic by @raginglesbian2006 where Lucifer is pining after the reader then MELTS when they call him a good boy can be found >>HERE<<
Also one of the many posts that contributed to my 'Alastor has a mommy kink' brainhole can be found >>HERE<<. Its a general relationship headcanon post by @greenandsorrow but goes over NSFW stuff too
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remmys · 2 months ago
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🎃 TFTOBER 2024 !!
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Hey there!! I really wanted to participate in an October prompt list, but seeing as I've been really hooked on TF2 for this entire year, I figured it would be fun to do a TF2 themed list!!
If you participate, feel free to tag your posts w/ #tftober !!! I'd love to see what other people do <3 This list should be perfectly doable for any medium (art, writing, sfm, etc!)
Below the cut is a list of all the prompts with some extra flavor text/ideas! Things are kept vague in a typical drawing prompt fashion
DAY 1 - Main
Who's your main? Who do you play most often?
DAY 2 - Hats!
It's not called a glorified hat simulator for nothing! There's plenty of cosmetics at your fingertips in the game!
DAY 3 - Relationships
Everyone knows someone. Whether it's a family member, a friend, a lover, or even an arch nemesis!
DAY 4 - Pyrovision
Put on the goggles and take a look at things with a new perspective!
DAY 5 - Battlefield
Probably where a mercenary spends most of their time
DAY 6 - On Break
Battles don't rage on forever. You've gotta take a break eventually
DAY 7 - Offense
The front lines. The moving force
DAY 8 - Defense
The back lines. Makes sure nobody gets too far
DAY 9 - Support
Everything in between! Perhaps even the foundations of some teams
DAY 10 - Teamwork
It's not called TEAM Fortress for nothing, right?
DAY 11 - Fem Fortress
Happy Friday! Give some love to the girls!
DAY 12 - Free Space
Draw, write, or SFM to your heart's content! Do whatever you'd like!
DAY 13 - Respawn
Nobody stays dead.
DAY 14 - Capture the Flag
That briefcase isn't going to steal itself!
DAY 15 - Backstab
Should've checked behind you.
DAY 16 - Mann vs Machine
Guns and bullets or nuts and bolts? Who knows what could be running through those metallic minds...
DAY 17 - Expiration Date
Teleportation and bread. What else can I say?
DAY 18 - Headcannons
Think a little deeper. What do you just know has got to be true about the mercenaries?
DAY 19 - At home
Everyone comes from somewhere. Everyone has a home.
DAY 20 - Headshot
Looks like you stood a little bit too still.
DAY 21 - Alternate Universe
Emesis Blue? Lil' Pootis? A universe where the mercenaries are all alligators? The world is your oyster.
DAY 22 - Australium
A divine and valued substance rarer than gold
DAY 23 - Administrator
There's more to a war than just the fighters
DAY 24 - Pets
Some people have a soft spot for certain animals. Others choose to keep theirs around 24/7.
DAY 25 - Injury
An inevitability of war
DAY 26 - Control Points
A constant back and fourth
DAY 27 - Comics
Ink, panels, and pages. A story through words and pictures.
DAY 28 - Custom Class
Is nine really enough to cover everyone needed in a war? Probably not!
DAY 29 - Ubercharge
A miracle of medicine
DAY 30 - Sentry
Sometimes the best way to get good aim is to not be the one aiming
DAY 31 - Scream Fortress
Happy Halloween! Scream out to your heart's content and enjoy the spooks of the night!
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livingdeadhorse · 5 months ago
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idk what this is. i like robots. i’ll clean these up later. i think.
anyways while drawing these I started thinking abt like. idk does this count as an AU.
General shit:
I didn't make it clear, but the robots that have pupils were built without a hardcoded purpose. They've always been free to explore what they want to do. The robots with fully colored "scleras" were created with a purpose from the jump, so their creators didn't feel the need to make them appear more "human".
The more expensive a robot's parts are, the less clunky it is.
Right now, I'm going with "their human family built them" but that's liable to change.
The designs are also liable to change because uh. duh.
Celestia Ludenberg:
Viewed the robots with an imbued purpose as interesting and superior (something something humanity's advancement). She wants to be praised like that, so she emulates them
Her cat loves how much heat she radiates so it's always near her.
Most of her upgrades are cosmetic but if they aren't, they're stupid. She won't upgrade her CPU or her motherboard, but she'll load up with three 4090s that her other components can't even keep up with. Yes, she does it to flex.
She'll distract from bootleg, refurbished, or shoddily painted parts by turning on her RGB. It gets annoying.
She knows that she's fairly unsettling and she revels in it.
All things considered, her cable management is pretty good.
Her gambling skill is still just luck here, but she tells everyone it's because she has a never-seen-before GPU(& CPU) that does calculations at insane speeds.
Most don't believe her but have no way to disprove her lie.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru
I can't decide if he was built by his father or his grandfather.
Either way, he was built before Toranosuke's downfall, so his internals were all pretty expensive for the time. Luckily for him, that means he was slightly future-proof and has a viable upgrade path.
Unluckily for him, this means he's stuck with really old parts and his 8gb of RAM can barely keep up in a 32gb world sadge
His chassis is built from secondhand or scrap parts. It's why his joints are so ancient in comparison to the rest of him and why he has so much cabling that he can't seem to manage.
Shit chassis = shit airflow = he is always overheating
BUDDY IS YOUR CPU BURNING HOW IS THERE SMOKE
Older tech = LOUD AF. The class bought him new fans to avoid the loud ass whirring. It's not quiet but he used to sound like a jet engine.
He runs on Debian. It was originally going to be Arch since it's lightweight but Debian's whole "old but stable" reputation fits him more. I don't see him properly dealing with bleeding edge software anyways.
His room is filled with past HDDs that no longer have storage. He deems all educational material important so he refuses to delete any lessons. He doesn't have the money for SSDs.
Mukuro Ikusaba:
Is usually in reconnaissance mode, meaning she has a shit ton of hidden cameras in her chassis
This used to benefit Fenrir. Now it benefits Junko.
She can have her parts shifted around with no issue to make room for a better arsenal.
She’s durable in her reconnaissance mode but she’s nigh on untouchable in her combat mode. Her chassis gets 10x bulkier and she can split her attention to several different tasks on the battlefield.
Fenrir Mercenary Group doubles as a weapons company. Mukuro is the only model of her kind though.
They tried to give her reconnaissance model the look of a “normal girl” so she could gather info more efficiently. They failed real bad. They also didn’t account for the fact that Mukuro isn’t good at socializing.
She allocates a CPU core to a process dedicated to Junko. 24/7 365
She believes herself to be less capable of emotion than she actually is. She can’t seem to find the system process that triggers such painful emotions.
Chihiro Fujisaki
Each “fold” in her skirt doubles as a screen. Think of the skirt as having two layers: the top shell and the under shell. The top shell is what doubles as a screen.
Optimized her hardware to work on code as fast as possible (fingers, skirt, etc).
She tends to test out new software on herself regardless of their compatibility with her pre-existing shit. She constantly has to reinstall her OS, but it’s all fun for her.
Speaking of her OS, I was going to make her run on Gentoo but IDK cause of the compile times. It’d be faster if she used distcc but I can’t see her screwing over her classmates like that lol.
So I’m between Nix and Arch.
Insecure about the fact that she overhauled her original model so extensively. Got made fun of for being a ‘defective’ robot. Her father supports her modifications but she still feels bad about having ‘failed’ somehow.
Cue identity issues
She helps out her classmates when it comes to repairs.
Tendency to stay up programming leads to high uptimes. If her friends notice her lagging or crashing, they’ll try to get her to shut down. (In a computer sense lol, not an emotional shut down)
Do y’all remember the xz utils backdoor? Yeah that’s how extensively she combs through code.
Sayaka Maizono
I can’t decide if she was built to be an idol or was originally some other type of robot.
Loves to make kids smile, so she has a sort of candy mechanism in her arm.
Everything about her glows or spins. You will never get bored looking at her.
Her skirt isn’t actually see through I just didn’t feel like erasing the hip joints lmao.
If corpos give her manager enough money, she has to perform with literal ads on her.
State-of-the art facial recognition software. It makes her fans feel special to have their names remembered.
She has a regular sleep cycle due to how load-intensive her everyday life is. Has to shut down for a couple hours every week at least.
Her psychic ability is just her running a million calculations based on people’s behavior and sensing which one is most plausible. This feature is in place to avoid PR disasters during interviews or public appearances.
There really aren’t enough worker’s rights regulations in place for robots.
The company gets alerts whenever she freaks tf out, so she feels even more stifled and repressed. Chihiro helped remove this.
Kyoko Kirigiri
Can’t decide if she was built by her father or grandfather. Probably just built by Jin and he “left” her in Fuhito’s care.
Fuhito made her go through several modifications, hardcoding his own investigative skills into her system.
Her grandfather loves her but has fucked up ideas about her own autonomy.
The events of DR:K still happen. She chose not to replace her hands.
Fuhito doesn’t make much use of a backdoor in her system anymore. He used it a lot more when she was a child but he sees her as a viable heir of the Kirigiri clan now. Chihiro isolated the backdoor to a separate SSD anyhow.
Still complicated father-daughter issues
Everything about her (but her OS) is proprietary, probably commissioned from Towa Industries. Her OS is a fork of Mint. The Windows 7 UI is just because I imagine her grandfather is One of Those lmao.
Has way too many scanners and sensors. She can’t test any evidence herself but she can gather a fair bit of information. Has a vast database for cross-comparison anyways.
Same issues as Togami and Mukuro: sees herself as less capable of emotion than she actually is.
The ramen noodle incident called for actual repairs.
Byakuya Togami
His superiority complex is far worse because he was literally CREATED to be the perfect Togami. You can’t tell him shiiiiiiit.
Gold joints. Scoffs at those with unoptimized cable management or software.
He’s constantly streamlining his own processes. Brings up that he runs on his own OS when Nobody Asked.
Had a similar backdoor to Kyoko’s but Koji did check that one. Obsessively. Nobody would tell Byakuya but He Just Knew. The lack of privacy irritated him. Aloysius helped fix it once Togami finally took over.
Only trusts Aloysius with his repairs. Has a hard time admitting when he needs repairs in the first place so Aloysius hides it under “monthly maintenance”.
Does everything from the terminal even when he 1) shouldn’t and 2) can’t. Bragging rights. He has written a bunch of his own scripts though to speed things up.
Kernel and OS provided to him by Koji. (UNIX-based. Proprietary) Byakuya maintains and builds his own updates. Doesn’t trust cheapskate peasants to do it for him.
Anti-FOSS. For him at least.
Has glasses for the aesthetics. Doesn’t need them.
790 notes · View notes
amomentsescape · 5 months ago
Note
Slashers x reader with wings. Reader's wings are bound, hidden and look heavily damaged from that.
How do the slashers find out? How do they react?
Add the crow guy, Eric, I think?
Slashers with Winged! Reader
Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Eric
A/N: I am once again sleep deprived, so I apologize if there are any typos or nonsense that I didn't catch reading through this. Thank you for your request!
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Freddy Krueger
As mentioned in many previous posts, you can't really hide anything from Freddy
Whenever you sleep, you're in his territory, and he can do whatever he pleases
And one of the last things he'll ever let you do is hide yourself from him
He could see the damage from all the years of hiding your wings, binding them up in hopes no one would notice
And this honestly pisses him off a bit
Why would you ever want to be like everyone else?
Your wings were beautiful, and they made you that much more special
The moment he sees your wings free, you better believe he'll never let you hide them again
Anyone who even gives you the slightest look will be dealt with that same night
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Michael Myers
Another one that you can't really hide anything from
He may let you think that he doesn't know about your wings
But in reality, he's known about them this whole time
However, he won't push you to reveal yourself to him until you're ready
It's not like it's a huge deal to him anyways
He's neutral about the whole situation
Wings or no wings, nothing will sway his opinion on you
Just don't wait too long to talk to him about it though
The more time that passes, the more irritated he'll become
Because after this much time together, you have to fully trust him now
Right?
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Jason Voorhees
Jason is pretty much clueless from the start
It's not that he isn't observant to you (he watches you 24/7)
It's just that he fully respects your boundaries and won't even hold your hand unless you tell him he can
So when he accidentally walked in on you one day and saw your damaged wings, he just stands there in shock
He snaps out of it when he notices your bashful and worried face however
He's just so confused on why you would hide this from him
He thinks your wings suit you perfectly
In fact, it makes him feel even more assured that you two are meant for each other
He also grew up wanting to hide a part of himself
But having each other means fully embracing the insecurities of the other
He doesn't ever want you to hide your wings from him again
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Thomas Hewitt
He honestly would have never even knew about them if it wasn't for his need for late night affection
He just wanted to cuddle up next to you in the middle of the night
But he was met with something out of place on your back
He couldn't help but peek, and the moment he did, he was stunned
But did he even think about running?
No. He just decided to wait until morning to talk to you about it
When he asked you, he could tell you were uncomfortable
And because of this, he did everything he could to reassure you that he wasn't upset or grossed out by your wings
He loves them!
He took them in his hands gently and carefully removed the bindings
There will be no more hiding from him after that
And he'll happily caress your wings every night until you feel reassured
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Bubba Sawyer
Bubba didn't mean to walk in on you like this
But the moment he sees the wings, all decency goes out the door
He stumbles in further, his hands reaching out to them
They're breathtaking... but why are they so damaged?
It physically hurts him to see you in any type of pain, and yet you've been carrying this around with you this whole time?
He's a bit hurt you didn't feel comfortable talking to him about this, but he's even more hurt by the fact that they look painful to you
He doesn't even let you protest before he's breaking the ties and freeing the wings
He's blubbering to you, making you promise to never hurt yourself like this, especially when it's something so cool
He spends the next few days playing with your wings, admiring them like a kid with a new toy
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Brahms Heelshire
The day he finds out about your wings is one of betrayal
Brahms refuses to let you keep secrets from him, and hiding such a big thing from him upsets him greatly
How can he trust you?
You’ll need to give him some time to cool down, but once he does, he’ll be on you
Will force you to free your wings so he can play with them
It honestly hurts him a bit to see the destruction brought to them
He empathizes with you a bit
He has also spent a good portion of his life hiding a part of himself
But it’s because of this experience that he refuses to let you do the same any longer
You’re with him now anyways
He’ll never let you leave the house
So there will never be another soul to judge this part of you ever again
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Norman Bates
He’s kind of speculated for a bit that you were hiding something
He didn’t know exactly what, he just could feel it in his gut
This insecurity was beginning to eat away at him until the day he finally saw the truth
It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t a bit scared at first
Angels have wings, but so did the devil
But seeing your pained expression reassured Norman that you were far from something evil
Once he let everything soak in, he’ll be all over you asking questions
He wants to know everything about you and your wings
He doesn’t want you to hide them anymore, and he’ll take the time each night to clean them and help heal them from years of damage
These are a part of you, and he loves everything about you
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Billy Loomis
Billy doesn't really speculate anything
He's confident that he would be able to tell if you were keeping anything from him
Until the night he sneaks in through your window in hopes of surprising you
But instead, he's the one with the surprise
He sees you looking sadly at yourself through the bathroom mirror, your damaged wings on full display
He spends the next few days going radio silent towards you
But on the fourth day, he storms your room and interrogates you on your wings
Why the hell would you lie to him?
He doesn't care that you have something that makes you "different"
He's simply hurt that you kept it from him
However, it only takes an open conversation for him to calm down
He's still a little pissy but happy to know the truth
Just don't keep anything from him again
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Stu Macher
This boy is absolutely clueless
But his unconditional, completely suffocating affection is what finally makes you feel comfortable to open up to him
And when you do, his eyes widen and his jaw drops
You almost think he's going to be upset until he speaks
"That's fucking sick"
Has you unbind them immediately with the promise that you won't keep them hidden away like that anymore
He constantly reassures you that anyone who sees them will have the same reaction as him
There are thousands of people that would kill to have wings like yours
Stu included
So don't ever hide something that literally makes you so unique
He loves them
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Vincent Sinclair
You honestly told him about your wings right away
It was after a deep conversation about his own insecurities over his appearance and scars
He showed you his face, and you showed him your wings
It was a raw moment of vulnerability between you two, and all it did was strengthen your bond
After that night, you rarely saw him wear that mask, and he refused to let you tied up your wings like that again
He wants to love the real you
And any part you hide from him is a part of you that he can't love freely
He thinks your wings are beautiful, and you become even more of a inspiration for his art
You are quite literally an angel in his eyes, and he won't ever take advantage of that
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Bo Sinclair
He was being flirty and touchy, as Bo does
And the moment he felt your back, he was throwing questions at you left and right
There was no lying or hiding the truth from him any longer
Bo hates secrets
So when you fully reveal yourself to him, he's shocked
He doesn't really know what to say at first
He didn't think something like this was possible
But after finally accepting the reality of the situation, he angrily begins tearing off your bindings
How dare you hurt yourself like this? How could you willingly lie to him after all this time?
He's a good mixture of disbelieving and pissed at you
It'll take a couple days to fully understand the situation
But once he does, it's smooth sailing
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Eric Draven
Eric is all-knowing
And he knows that you're keeping something from him
But unlike a lot of the others, he's not upset or angry about it
You'll tell him when you're ready, and he trusts you enough to know it isn't anything terrible
And once you do open up about it, he's in absolute awe
His companion is a crow for goodness sake
To think he was ever going to react in any way other than admiration would have been stupid
He does get a bit emotional seeing your wings all tied up and damaged however
He's gentle with you as he sets them free
To see that pain you put yourself through really upsets him
He doesn't ever want you to do something like that again, especially when he sees this as a true gift
He'll spend the rest of the night cleaning and taking care of them, lulling you to sleep
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redr0sewrites · 7 months ago
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Loki x reader General Hcs
this was... spontaneous! but i said i'd write for marvel and theres no better time than the present. PLEASE send in marvel requests🙏
🥀Cw: fluff, smut, switch!loki, little teensy bit of angst if u squint
🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw:
loki is a naturally guarded person, and is very intelligent and clever. he's not one to let his guard down easily and isn't used to dealing with true romantic feelings, so you are obviously very special to him
loki is incredibly intelligent and good at reading people, along with being very charismatic. he's used to charming people to get his way, and he very, very rarely shows his true feelings unless he trusts you. he cares a lot about your opinion, and a part of him really, really wants to please you
at first, it's hard for even loki to tell whether his feelings for you are genuine, and he gets completely tongue tied around you. he wants to be around you all the time, and he admires you a lot
when it comes to actually dating loki, please be patient!!! he will only truly begin to let his guard down around you over time, and he believes that you'll only find him irritating. he definitely has a big "hurt them and push them away before they hurt you", type of mentality, and when he first realizes how much he cares for you he will probably avoid you for a little
everyone knows loki loves attention, and that is no different in a relationship. he is both touch starved and touch disgusted as he doesn't want to appear vulnerable, but craves any sort of intimacy that you offer
very thoughtful, and he remembers every little detail about you. you mention how much you like a certain candy? you miraculously find those candies in your room. you tell him about an important event coming up that you're stressing about? he reminds you about it the day before. you tell him your favorite gemstone? well, you better believe that every piece of jewelry he gives you includes that gem. loki knows your favorite song, your favorite book, your favorite movie, and any and everything else about you that he deems important. you live rent free in his mind 24/7
loki loves matching with you, and he loves when you wear his signature colors. he's always complimenting you and your style, and his heart flutters a little when you ask him what he's wearing for an important event coming up so that you two can coordinate
i don't even think i can pick a love language for him, he loves giving and receiving any form of affection and you two are probably attached at the hip
HE WOULD PASS THE ORANGE PEEL TEST. loki is absolutely the type to lace up your shoes for you, making a corny joke about how he "doesn't want you falling for anyone else". he uses magic to help you a lot, and especially loves your guys' night routines
loki is nooot a morning person, and loves snuggling with you. whenever you both have to get up in the morning he's always pulling you back into bed, nuzzling into your neck and begging for "five more minutes". he's also always very groggy in the morning and won't remember most of what he does when half asleep. he's very honest as well, and says lots of sappy things whenever he's sleepy. on the rare occasion that you sleep in later than him, he loves kissing you awake and pressing kisses all over your fave!
loki naturally runs very cold, but doesn't feel cold if that makes sense. to you his skin is absolutely FREEZING, but he just feels normal. however there are times where he runs insanely hot and there is absolutely no in between. he's either freezing or burning up, and it's both a little sad and a little amusing. there are times where the cold gets to him and loki will be more clingy than usual, claiming that he needs you to warm him up. other times he will practically walk around naked, too overstimulated and hot to even touch you
loki is a lot more anxious then he seems, and will sometimes just freak out over little things when in reality its a bunch of big things piling up one after another. he never ever means to take it out on you, and even when he's reached his limit he would never hurt you, but it can still be frustrating when he gets mad at you for a simple mistake. he always apologizes and takes accountability tho, and is very careful not to hurt your feelings bc he's very afraid you'll leave him. PLEAAASEEE REASSURE HIM :((((
loki is very chatty and loves talking to you about anything and everything. from in depth psychological conversations to simple "how was your day" conversations, he just cherishes getting to be able to talk to you
nsfw
look me in the eyes and tell me he's not a switch. i definitely see him as being capable of both being a dom and a sub, and i think it really depends on your guys' moods
when he's a dom, i think loki can fluctuate on how mean or rough he is. i do see him being a more degrading or rough dom but i also think he can be a lot softer as well, and more of a pleasure dom. again, i think it all comes down to your preferences
when he's a sub, loki is definitely bratty. he loves being put in his place and getting a little roughed up, but there are also times where he just wants to relax and be taken care of. when he gets in his own head too much and is irritated after a long day he'll be a lot more pliant and willing to just let you take care of him. PLEEEASSSE praise him and pamper him when he's like this, he'll melt like putty in your hands
PRAISE + DEGRADATION!!! BOTH WAYS!!!! he absolutely has a huge praise kink and definitely praises you a looot during sex, but i also see him being a bit mean with his praise and mixing in some degrading words as well. either way he's a wonderful dirty talker and he probably has a voice kink too, considering how often he whispers in your ear (and enjoys it when you do the same).
i also think loki would be into bondage, again, both ways. theres something so delicious about seeing you tied up and squirming from just his gentle touches, but it's equally intoxicating for him to be the one tied up and denied any sort of pleasure. he gets really whiny when you don't let him touch you, and will probably start pouting and begging. tying him up is defff one of the easiest ways to break him
guys hear me out but a candle wax kink. loki is very respectful and will always ask your permission before trying something new, but he loves seeing you whimper and moan while he slowly lets a few drops of wax spill onto your smooth skin. he also will let you return the favor, and the wax often hisses and steams a bit when it hits his skin because he's so cold.
marking you is definitely very appealing to him, and it's pretty self explanatory. loki just loves marking you and being marked up by you. it satisfies his slightly possessive and jealous side, and you two always look like you've been in a fight after having sex from the number of bruises, scratches, and hickies littering your body.
another relatively self explanatory kink, but, hair pulling. he looooves it when you pull his hair while he gives you head
loki is a major tease, and he loves teasing you in public settings where you can't do much about it. it will go from subtle things like placing a hand on your lower back or caressing your thigh to whispering absolute filth in your ears and making out with you in the bathroom. he is always trying to rile you up bc he knows damn well that it will lead to a night of rough sex
we all know loki's a shapeshifter and genderfluid, so i absolutely hc that he can change his physical body to match his gender. if he's feeling more feminine, he LOVES when uou eat him out. facesitting is def something he enjoys and he loooves riding your face SOO MUCH.
loki is very vocal, he def whines and moans a lot. he isn't shy about letting you know how good he's feeling. he knows how much his voice affects you and will whisper the filthiest things in your ear between moans as you fuck him senseless
aftercare is v important to him, and whether or not he's subbing really affects how exhausted he is afterwards. if he dommed he knows he can be pretty rough and he'll run a bath for you both before getting a towel to wipe you clean and then carrying you to the tub. i also think he'd prioritize keeping you well hydrated and would get you some water and food after the bath. loki is very clingy after sex and would want you as close as possible.
when he subbed tho, it's a totally different story. loki will be a clingy mess from the moment you finish, just whining and cuddling against you the whole time. depending on how deep into subspace he is and how groggy he is, he might even cry if you try to get up (even if you're just going to get water or a towel or sum) bc he thinks you're leaving him :(. he's pretty vulnerable after subbing and will probably just lay with you for a while before coming down from his high. once he's mostly calm and cognizant, he'll def want to clean up pretty quickly. he doesn't like feeling sticky and gross and also loves bathing with you!! overall he's a lot softer after sex and generally just wants to be near to you
RAHHHH I LOVE HIM SMMM!!!! he's so silly lmao this post got sooo long 💀 i also lowkey feel like im shadowbanned or something cuz like all of my posts have been majorly flopping recently :/ maybe im just not in a lot of active fandoms idk but!!!! anyways!!!!! hope u enjoyed!!!!!!! PLEEEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN REQUESTS FOR MARVEL, ATSV, OR ANH OTHER FANDOM I WRITE FOR!!!
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starboye · 25 days ago
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Kinktober Day 21
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starring: mike schmidt x male reader
request: Mike Schmidt x kinky male reader who introduces him to the world of BDSM. Mike being a sub top with a praise kink, breeding kink, pet play (like having a leash on him and such) and other nasty things! Maybe even a bit of edging, like M/N punishing him by cockwarming him without letting him cum for a good while, leaving Mike needy and desperate to fill his boyfriends tight hole with his warm seed😮‍💨
warnings: smut, cursing, subby mike, dom reader, pet play, leash and collar, edging, daddy kink kinda, begging, mike being down bad, overstimulation, orgasm control slightly
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before mike met you he was a reasonably simple guy in terms of sex, he was a vanilla top in other words who like getting dommed by a bottom every now and then to take the edge off from his grueling jobs and responsibilities as his sisters guardian.
but after he met you his worlds was expanded with a whole lot of knowledge about kinks, he went from a basic man to a desperate top who was begging you to let him fuck you at any free hour he had, and today was no different.
after a tough day of working mike was convincing you to ride him, first it started with him tugging at your shirt and giving vague hints at what he wanted, as much as he loved the feeling of you tightly wrapped around him he could never say it with words how much wanted to fuck you.
"yeah mike" you turn to look away from the tv and to him, his eyes raking over your body slowly before he shakes his head out of his trance "can we..." he tries to hint towards what he wants but you act clueless to his needs "what" you question.
"i mean abby's at school so we have like 3 hours to do whatever" he says nodding his head towards the bedroom and you act like you finally got what he wanted to do "if you wanna fuck all you have to do is say that" you say bringing him up from the couch and taking him to your shared bed.
which brought you to now, splitting your ass on his cock and riding him like a horse, his cries filling the room as he held your hips but he didn't control your movement, he just liked feeling you, although half the time he never saw you because his eyes were always shut from the extreme overstimulation you put him through.
"fuck y/nnn" he moaned out, chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath but with you riding him and every plop down on his sensitive cock just knocked the breath right out of him every time, you tugged at the leash around his neck, the moan erupting from him making a smirk spread across your face.
"you wanna be a good pet for me" you ask tugging at the leash more, mike wincing in pain at the harsh leather around his neck which also made it a little harder for him to breath, surprisingly it made him harder, the feeling like he could pass out at any moment while you continued riding him.
he truly has no idea how he became such a slut for you, once he was a pretty normal guy, no big kinks or anything and just like fucking from time to time, but now he craves every part of you 24/7, all the time he wants to have his cock buried in you and the feeling you squeezing around him.
"yes sir i'll be so good" he choked out past his whimpers, his body splayed across the bed, his hands tightly gripping the bed sheets around him "then hold it" you say stopping your bounces on him, leaving his cock to just sit in you, heating itself in your warm hole to his dismay.
"wait wait y/n please don't stop" he tries to beg you to keep going but with another pull from the leash he stops talking with a small whine "do you really wanna be a disobedient pup" you ask leaning down to him, his breath hitching in his throat as he felt your breath graze his neck.
"n-no sir" he stammered, looking away embarrassed "that's right, now how bad do you want to cum" you taunt his release right in front of him like a treat he can only get by obeying you "really bad" he pleads with you to fuck yourself on his cock like a desperate slut.
his begging infatuated you even more, leading you to start riding him again like he wanted, letting out a sigh of relief as he feels you start back up, you just feel so good around him the when he starts he's begging you to keep going.
his begging always works to, it's just the fucked out look on his face that makes you fold instantly and give him what he wants, and now he's on the edge of cumming in you just has him tweaking out, his moans becoming more and more loud before he spurts his warm cum into your tightness.
his back arching from the intensiveness of it all and legs quivering as you rode out his high, you didn't really care that you didn't cum because seeing him become putty under you was good enough
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taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft@wompwomp-1mh3re
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notlhecxzsa · 4 months ago
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Hidden Love - Scarlett Johansson
Warnings: Very very angsty (only in the start), very mean Scarlett (she gets better, I promise! little miss doesn't know how to handle her feelings ≧⁠▽⁠≦), death, very sad reader, almost drowning
Sum: How can a cold hearted CEO handle her newfound feelings towards one of her employees? Will it be wonderful or a disaster? (This is 8889 words, oh god)
CEO!Scarlett JohanssonXFem!Reader
°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°
Y/n's POV:
"Don't worry, Ma. I'll try to send you more money than usual, just rest and do what the doctor's says, okay?" I said on the phone with gentle voice to my mother.
I only have my mother, and unfortunately, she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I never knew my dad, and i didn't really grew up having everything i want, and well, need. My mother needed to work 24 hours, and only having a payment that is good for our 2 days food, but she's so strong and determined, that even that's our life situation, i managed to finish my school.
Now, im working, trying to work hard enough to have enough money to take my mother in a chemotherapy, i've been actually saving up for it, and for her operation, which is not really doing well.
She has so many supplements needed that is already half of my payment, and i still have so many bills to pay, from my rent payment, to my electric and water bills, same goes to the house of my mother that she currently lives in right now.
I'm working at J.Corp, short term for, Johansson's Corporation, i work here from 6 in the morning, then to 7 in the evening, then after that, i have my shift to a convinient store from 8 in the evening, to 3 in the morning. Sometimes i don't really eat in order to save enough money, because i really want my mother to go to therapy already.
She's all i have left, and what more could i lose if i lost her too?
"Don't worry about me, darling. I promise you, i will be just fine. Don't forget to eat, okay? Take care of yourself." She said her voice lacing with the comfort that i missed everyday.
"Yes, i know Ma. I'll try to go there when i have enough money-" I was cut off when the voice of my boss rang through the air from the intercom.
"Y/l/n."
I rolled my eyes before bidding my goodbye to my mother, telling her that I'll just call her back later.
Ughh, what does she needs right now?
It's already break time, that means no work. I only hope she's just calling me right now for another free food, because if not, hell will lose.
My work here in this company has ups and down, well, the downs are mostly caused by my very own boss, Scarlett Johansson. I don't know what i did to that woman, because there's not a day where she wouldn't yell at me for completely nothing, or just gives me tons of works, that i know, is supposed to be for the others to work on.
The ups are because of my friends, well, sometimes, it's caused by Ms. Johansson too though. She's just so random sometimes, like in first, she would act all devil to me as if i did something very horrible to her, then the next, she's inviting me to have a lunch with her, sometimes dinner in a very expensive restaurants, which is im very grateful for, but it's all just confusing.
I mean, why me of all people that is on this building, that is probably much more worth her time?
She always manages to get in my nerves, but in all those bad things she does to me, i can't helo but catch feelings for the woman because of every little kind things and gestures she do to me, which i probably found weird, like...she's always mean to me and all, but i mean...she's beautiful, and sometimes can be such a gentlewoman, that so many people here has a crush on her.
But, i always just take those feelings and thoughts aside. Because, well, she always -not just being mean to me- but sometimes, she get on my nerves that it hurts my feelings already, but all i did is to listen to her hurtful words towards me, while wondering what i did wrong.
It's just all exhausting and very rude of her, that sometimes i just find myself crying in the dark while walking to the convinient store. I already have so many problems, and she still adds up, confusing me and hurting me mentally, and it just gets all to much.
But, even if i want to quit already, i can't. This work is what gives me money to survive and help my mother, ofcourse i wouldn't waste it even if i have to go through hell in the process.
"Come in." I heard her say from the other side of the door.
"Yes, Ms. Johansson?" I asked while looking at her, standing just beside the door.
She looked up at me with a stone cold face, she looked at me up and down, almost looking like she's judging every part of like that made me shrink on where i am standing.
I just only hope for one thing, for her to not yell and shout at me, because dude, i am not really having a very good day. I still haven't eaten breakfast, or even lunch, and it's now dinner time, and im trying so hard not to feel weak because i still my have my shift in the convinient store. Then my mom, and...just all.
The payments of the bills will be coming next week, along with my mother's, and thank god, my payment here will be given to me tommorow. That's why i didn't eat, i will just buy more food tommorow.
"Did you already eat?" She asked.
This is what im talking about the small kind gestures of hers, that i don't even know she do with everyone here in the company, or it's just me.
"I-i uhh- i still didn't, Ms. Johansson." I said with my head hung down. I heard her stand up abruptly, then i heard papers scattering around.
"Did you ate lunch?" I shook my head. "Breakfast?" I shook my head.
"Oh come on, for fuck sake, Y/n! We've already talked about this, didn't we? Don't act like a child wanting to be reminded on when to eat, because none of us here want your burden. We can't just have you collapsing out of nowhere because you didn't ate like last time."
And this is what i said about her, being mean and rude and evil and bad, and just all the worse things you can think of.
"I - im sorry, Ms. Johansson..." I heard her click her tounge, before her footsteps walked near me.
"Come with me, let's eat dinner together." I heard her say, before completely walking past me.
"But, Ms. Johansson, i still have a lot of paperworks to do-" I was cut off by her.
"Shut up and just follow me, Y/n." She said with her usual cold tone.
I sighed defeatedly before running after her, stopping at my desk and quickly getting my back. I just followed her like a puppy until we're in her car, and being the 'gentlewoman' that she is, she opened the door for me.
What she said earlier was true, i blacked out because of hunger and stress, but i just told her that i was so busy, because well, im too shy to tell her my life condition, i don't want her judging me when she's always doing it everyday, i can't handle it anymore if she used my life situation to say mean things to me.
I stayed silent the whole drive, fiddling with my fingers as i did so, and occasionally glancing at her. Her jaw are tensed, all of her are tensed. I always try to act all brave, but in inside, i get scared of her sometimes, that i caught myself flinching at the small sounds that i would hear everywhere.
The dinner, well it was silent too, but speaking of the little gestures she do to me, she did what she usually does, cutting the hard pieces of food for me, and literally flooding the table and my plate with tons of foods.
"Your work time is already over, I'll get you home." She said as she started the car.
"Oh- uhm, actually, can you drop me off at the convinient store but the street after your building?" I asked and she looked at me, frowning.
"You're still working there?" She spat out, making me look down, avoiding her burning gaze. "Didn't i told you to quit working there already? You're living all by yourself, you didn't need to work there too, to survive for the living..."
I do, Scarlett. Unfortunately, i fucking do.
"No wonder why you always pass me late paperworks." She said, and i can see in my peripheral vision that she's shaking her head.
All i wanna do is to cry as she drive the car. How can she say those things to me when she doesn't even know what and how my life is like?
"Thank you, for the dinner." I said once we stopped infront of the store.
"Just get out." She said without even sparing me a glance.
"Bye, drive safely." I muttered before getting out, once i was out, she drove almost instantly.
I felt tears brimmed out of my eyes, but quickly wiped it and shook my head while taking a deep breaths.
It's okay. It's going to be okay.
~~~~~~~~~~
No one's POV:
"Bye, drive safely." Scarlett heard the soft tone of the woman she loves for 3 years.
It's hard to love Y/n in the dark, and be a devil when she's infront of the woman as if she didn't fantasize about Y/n walking down the aisle as she waited on the altar, or having a multiple kids with the younger girl and just living the best life with her.
"Just get out." Scarlett internally cringed and cursed herself for sounding so mean.
Every mean words that would come out of her mouth to Y/n's ear, she would immediately feel guilty and get completely mad at herself.
As much as she wants to be kind and apologize to the poor girl already, she can't just risk it. All of it. She scared and terrified that if ever they got more closed, then Scarlett might no be able to control herself and be all obsessed with Y/n. And she's too traumatized at her past relationship, that it gets in her head when she thinks of having Y/n as her girlfriend.
What if she got hurt again? Or what if she hurt the most genuine person she knows? The only woman who she truly love for all her life. As much as it's a very idiotic thing for her to do those things to the pure woman, she just can't help but do it.
Not that it makes her happy or anything in the latter, but it's most likely just her way of having Y/n's attention, because whenever she'd alone at her, she gets to have Y/n all for herself. She's just so stubborn to makes everything easy and better with her relationship with Y/n.
She knows she's being shit and all, and that anytime, she might lose her girl, but this is the only way she can think of to do, due to what she had been through her life, not just her past relationship.
She don't even have any idea why Y/n is still working for her. But, this time, with the help of her friend's -Lizzie's- words, she knows that this gotta stop soon. Which is her goal. She's just trying to find the courage, and the right words to say, and hoping that she will not gonna be too late for that.
She loved you from the moment you walked through her office door, she's just too scared to admit it to herself, and as days and months passed, she found herself being wrapped up around you finger.
She knows what she's doing is sometimes getting out of line, but due to her stress and on what she's been through, that's just kind of her things, which is not good, but she will surely change it, not just for herself, but especially for you, and you only.
"You gotta stop treating Y/n like that, she's the kindest person i know, and she doesn't deserve to be treated anything like that, Scarlett."
She still remembers Lizzie's words in her mind like it's tattooed there already. But, not to worry, she'll be asking for your forgiveness soon enough, and she'll do everything, even if she needs to get on her knees and kiss your feet.
All i well and peaceful as she sit on her desk chair, listing everyone who she will be paying for tommorow, and you're one of those people, she figured that maybe, this is gonna be a good timing to apologize to you, she can just order you to come to her penthouse that is on the top floor of this building and tell you that she'll give you the money there, then she'll apologize.
That's a good idea, right? Right.
A ding from her phone caught her attention, she immediately clicked the message of one of her men's, that she hired to watch over you. Yeah, she's too possessive like that.
Anger immediately rose inside her body, as the apologies she's planning to do faded in her mind like bubbles. It's a video of you, being held by a man she knows all to well. It's the man that is always hugging you from every video her men's sends her, who is also your co worker at the store.
She doesn't want to think things too fast, but she just can't help but thought of what's your connection with that man. She once asked you about your love life and you said you're single, but this man keeps making her think otherwise.
Anger, jealousy and all rose inside her body, until all of it filled her up completely.
Maybe she can just do the apologies in another day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/n's POV:
Today is the day im gonna have my payment.
After a whole breakdown last night at the store, i am feeling very well right now, thanks to my a good friend of mine, Max, he's a boy. He's very kind enough to comfort me and even walked me home, things like that are normal to us, plus, i would trust him with my life, not that because he's my friend, but because i know he won't take advantage of me or anything because he's very gay.
I'm now walking towards to Ms. Johansson's office, instantly warning at the lack of seeing people on the way. Usually, when it's the day of paying off, so many people would be scattering around her, but now? It's dead silence, only the sound of silent conversing, and the typing on keyboards. I was gonna knock on the door already, but i was stopped when Samantha called me out.
"Y/n! Hey! Ms. Johansson said you'll be receiving your payment up there." I frowned instantly.
"Are you guys have been payed already?" I asked, turning my whole body to her.
"Yeah, you didn't know? She sent us all a messages saying that we need to go here earlier than usual..." She explained unsurely.
"No...she didn't...." I trailed of on my words.
I bid Sam a goodbye and said that im gonna go upstairs. I quickly ran towards the elevator with my heart pounding in my chest.
What if she's gonna give me my last payment because she'll gonna fire me now?
Oh god, oh god, oh god-
I was brought out of my trance when the ding of the elevator rung out, i quickly walk towards inside, trying to find a trace of Ms. Johansson, while calling her name. I soon stopped when i saw her laying at a pool bench, sunbathing with just a a piece swimsuit.
I blushed and looked down, trying to avoid her smooth and bright skin.
"Ms. Johansson." I made my presence known, and in my peripheral vision, i felt her looked up, then stand up, there's a movements came from her but i didn't looked up.
"Ms. Y/l/n..." I can hear her voice that she has a smirk. "You can look up now." And i did, and saw her in a robe.
"Ms. Johansson, im here to take my payment." I said politely, giving her a tight small smile, but it was soon turn into a frown when i saw her face fell.
"Ooh, that....right. Well, actually, Ms. Y/l/n, you wouldn't be receiving anything." I frowned, as i felt my heart fell.
"W-what? Why? W-what did i do?" I stammered, my heart is now hammering in my chest.
"What did you do? Why don't you think about the days i always yelled at you for failing almost all of the paperwork i gave you? Did you forget about all that already?" She said with a sadistic tone.
I avoided her gaze, instead i gaze forwards, which is enough to not see her eyes, since she's a lot taller than me.
"No, i didn't, Ms. Johansson. But, as far as i can remember, i already made all my mistakes right. And...not all the time of you, calling me in your office, was because i did something wrong." I can't help but let out that harshly than i intended it to be.
I really need that money, and there's no way i will get out here without that.
"Oooh, getting too confident now, are we, Ms. Y/l/n?" She said with a teasing tone.
I can't help but feel humiliated in our current situation, and it makes me feel so small that all i want to do is to die or just jump right off of this building.
"Ms. Johansson, please, i really need the money. I will do everything you'll say, just please..." I pleaded, maybe being too confident and fighting back would just make her not give it to me.
"Anything?" She asked, and i nodded.
"Anything." I said, looking up at her. I saw a glint in her eyes, but it was soon faded.
"This is what you want, right?" She waved the stack of dollar in the air with her hand, and i nodded, before widening my eyes at the next action she made.
"Then get it." She said as she throw the money to the large swimming pool she has here.
I don't know how to swim, my body turned cold, but the desperation got the best of me.
Without that money, i will not have the chance to pay my bills. I need that. Most importantly, my mother needs that.
"What are you waiting for?" I flinch at her voice, looking back up at her with tears in my eyes.
I felt so little, like a slave, and so poorly humiliated. My heart aches at the thought of someone, treating me like this. I know that she is much up there than me who is literally living like a stray puppy, but she has no rights to do this to me.
She is so evil.
I saw how her eyes changed its look, it's like she got taken back about something, but before she can even utter i look back at the deep swimming pool, where all the dollars are floating.
I took a deep breath, before swallowing the lump on my throat. I walk fastly to the pool, then jump, with one thing on my mind.
This is for my mother.
I heard her voice called me out, but i didn't cared, and tried my best to get all of the money, while trying to gasp for air everytime i came to the surface, only to realize that im literally in the middle of the pool.
With every jump from the bottom, i realized that im at the very deep, my movements became frantic as i felt myself losing so much oxygen, while i kept hearing her muffled voice screaming my name worriedly.
I already drank the water, and some went through my nose, i was gonna reach out for another dollar when i felt a strong big arms wrapped itself around me, and the next thing i know, i was gasping for air while holding the wet money in my hands tightly.
I hope my asthma doesn't attack me right now.
"What the fuck, Y/n? Why the fuck did you do that? You could've died!" She yelled and i flinch while still gasping, and looked at the pool to see that there's still left, i was gonna jump again, but her strong masculine arms caught me.
"Hey! Stop! Stop!" She yelled, trapping me completely in her arms.
I couldn't take it anymore, my chest is burning, along with the pain im feeling right now. I sobbed, and cried hard not caring of what her reaction will be.
"H-hey.." Her voice sounded as if she was being strangled.
"Get off of me..." I breathed out, i want to vomit, maybe because of the amount of water i drunk and i felt it hard to breathe. "T-there's still more...i-i n-need to get that...my-my m-mom needs i-it..." I stammered, my tone is completely broken.
"P-please...i-i need to get it.." I thrashed around her arms, but then she hugged me, completely trapping me in her arms.
"Hey, hey, darling...it's okay, you don't have to get that...shhh, shhh, im sorry, i-im sorry..." Even me, i couldn't recognize her voice.
I stopped thrashing around, but still continue to gasp for air, my cries and sobs filled through the air. I felt so helpless, so poor, humiliated, and very desperate.
I looked down at the money in my arms, avoiding the sweet nothings she kept whispering in my ears. Her voice sounded soft, it tweaks, and sometimes it breaks, like she's crying.
"I-it's still n-not enough..." I said breathlessly. "Get off of me." I demanded weakly. "Please, stop making it all so hard for me...please...i just wanted my money...please...i can't- i cant do this anymore." I whispered brokenly, trying to push her death grip on me.
She kept muttering an apologies, then comforting words, but all i felt towards her is hatred, madness and all the worse things to feel.
We stayed like that until i calmed down. I'm still breathing unevenly, and i know im having my asthma. I'm shaking and all, with my lips quivering as i sob quietly. I don't know what's happening to her as she's holding me tightly, while whispering apologies to me.
Out of nowhere she picked me up ever so gently, while still whispering that it's all gonna be okay, and she's so so sorry. With all the things that had happened, i felt so weak, so weak that i can't even open my mouth because of exhaustion, im still gripping the money that is in my hand.
She went inside her penthouse while still carrying me, both of my hand is on my chest, clutching it together as i still feel my chest tightening, then the side of my head is on her shoulder.
I felt so weak.
My body is still shaking, and I don't know how to stop it.
I felt so cold, and i know that im going to be sick for days.
Why does Scarlett have to be mean to me?
My lips wobbled at my thoughts, as a strangled sob came out of it.
"Shhh, im sorry, im sorry....stop crying already, baby. It hurts my heart to see you cry..." I'm too exhausted to even manage to think what she just said as the next thing i know is she put me on the bathtub.
"N-no...i wanna go home..." I protested weakly, shaking my head as i look at up at her, to see her already looking up at me.
"No, you'll stay here, you'll stay here. It's okay, im sorry please, stay here...stay here for now, please....let me just take care of you, yeah?" She pleaded making me frown at her attitude, but i shook my head.
"N-no...t-the money, i need i-" I was cut off by her.
"The money will be fine, sweetheart. I'm your boss, you'll do as i said." She demanded with a soft tone. I didn't utter a word anymore, then look down.
"Can you give me that for a second, love?" She pointed at the money in my hand, i opened my hand and she took it then out it on the table beside the little table beside the bathtub, but not before kissing my head and saying 'good girl'. Then she took my face with her hands, looking at me with the most softest look she's given me.
"Don't worry about the money, okay?" She asked softly, and i nodded.
"But, i need it.." I said.
"I know, but don't worry about it for now, okay? Clean yourself first- do you need any help?" She asked and i shook my head.
"Okay, im just gonna be right outside the bathroom, okay? I'll get you some clothes and there's a brush and extra towels there, okay?" She pointed at the drawer under the sink.
"Just call me if you need anything, okay?" I nodded once again, and she smiled a little before kissing my head, leaving a lingering kiss there that felt so different.
She left and i started cleaning myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scarlett's POV:
As soon as i close the bathroom door, i sighed, leaning my head against it.
Why did i do that? Fuck.
Everything felt so wrong, my heart shattered into pieces as the earlier moments ran through my mind once again. Just thinking of how desperate she was earlier to get the money hurt me in the most impossible way, and the thought of her, almost dying because of what i did, is slowly killing me. The look on her face, fuck. It's all plastered in the back of my head, and the scenes kept playing without a stop.
An idea came into my mind, i quickly get her some clothes first, which is probably gonna be too big for her, i put it outside the bathroom door, on the table beside it. Then, i quickly pulled out my phone, dialing Wanda, not before walking far away enough from the bathroom.
"Hey, Lizzie?" I asked.
"Hey, Scar. What's up?" She asked.
"I need you to do me a favor." I said, then get straight to the point.
I told her to do a background check on Y/n's personal life, and do everything to see what my girl's life is really like. Then i told her what had happened, which she scolded me for. I told her my plan on getting Y/n and then after that, she made me promised to not to do something bad to Y/n again, or she said, she'll steal the girl from me, which made me a little aggressive, and cursed her through the phone, then we said goodbye.
After the phone call, i felt presence behind me, making me look around and saw Y/n standing there, looking so adorable and pretty as ever. My clothes is so big for her, but it makes my heart melt at the sight. Though, my heart still aches because she wouldn't even look at me straight in the eyes.
"I- uh, im gonna take my money now, then go home." Her voice is raspy, i quickly made a move walking to the kitchen then getting a glass of water.
"Come here, please." I said softly, while pouring a water in the glass.
She looked at me for a second, and when she caught me staring at her she quickly looked down, before hesitantly walking towards the kitchen countertop.
"Take a seat." I said with soft voice.
Now's my only chance, well, if i still have.
I slide the glass towards her and told her to drink it, which she did, almost downing it in just a 10 seconds. I watch her every movements with longing eyes, as my heart shatter on how afraid she seemed infront of me. It took me everything in my power to not to let my tears fall of.
I knew, by the moment and scenes we had earlier, i knew i already went beyond the line, and i will stop it right here. No procrastinations anymore. I walked towards her and stop by here side until im just a few inches from her. My arms are aching to be wrapped around her, while i beg for forgiveness, which i know i don't deserve, but i can still try, right?
I saw how she became tensed, but still continue on infront of her at a black space. I see her hands that is on the table shaking a little, which breaks my heart a little more, and i see her chest heaved as she breath.
"Y/n..." I called out softly, with my voice slightly wavering. "Can you look at me, hun? Please?" I asked, as i raised my hands to touch her cheeks, but quickly stopped when i saw her flinch and shielded her hands infront of her face.
I can hear my heart shattering into pieces, goosebumps started to form on my skin. I couldn't help and stop the tears that brimmed out of my eyes as i look down at her.
"P-please...i just wanna go home with my money..." She whispered so brokenly.
"Y/n...." I breathed out, but she put her hands down while shaking her head, now looking at me.
"P-please, j-just give me my money, and I'll quit, y-you won't see me anymore, just please, let me go in peace. I can't take what you're doing to me anymore....i promise, I'll quit." She rambled, and my heart stopped at the words she said.
"You can hurt me all you want if that's what will get you to give me my money, do anything- everything you want, yell at me, hurt me, slap me, i-i don't care, just give me my money, please, my- my mother needs it..." She pleaded, with her hands clasped and her eyes full of tears while looking up at me.
Tears are now streaming down on my face, the look she's giving me now, and along with the words she's saying is breaking me apart.
"Stop saying those things, i-i would never hurt you, okay?" I demanded, my voice getting hard.
Why would she thought im gonna hurt her? I would never dare or even think about laying a finger on her.
Am i that bad to her, for her to think this way?
"...and i will never gonna shout at you again, okay?..." My hands seems to have their own mind as it unconsciously went to her soft cheeks, caressing it as soon as they landed on the soft skin. "I'm sorry, im really sorry, not just for the things that i did today, but for all the things i did to you. I-i i never meant any mean words that i told you, it's very hard to explain it right now, but i promise you, there's something behind those things on why i treated you like that. Just please, don't leave, okay? Don't quit on me, please...." I pleaded looking down at her as my thumb continued on caressing her cheeks.
She looked down, and let out a sob.
"But, im tired..." She breathed out brokenly. "I'm so tired." She sobbed out before looking at me with mixed emotions in her eyes.
"You don't know how much you always hurt me everyday by those mean words you say to me, you don't know h-how i feel when i would walked out of you office with my head down ashamed of how much they might've probably think of how idiot i am because everyday, you'll scream at me. You don't know how i felt so humiliated, so little with everything that you did to m-me. I hate you. I despise you." She whispered the last 2 sentence with full of hatred and dark tone.
I sobbed out, before pulling her in my arms, her head is on my chest, i hold her tightly as i sobbed while chanting an apologies. She kept pushing me, but i made no move on pulling away, that it seemed to might've got in her nerves as she weakly punched me in the chest repeatedly. She's too thin and small than me, so it's no use.
I always told her to eat, and always makes her come with me to eat, because i hate how she looked so malnourished.
Maybe, later the day, i hope to find out what her personal life is really like. I have a feeling that it's nowhere near the words of good life, because of how desperate she is on getting the money, but whatever it will be, i took a mental note on helping her with it, it doesn't matter if she would decline or not, because i will surely do anything to help her, and she can't stop me.
"I know, i know you hate me, it's okay, shhh...there you go, punch me, yell at me, do whatever you want, it's okay..." I said with gentle tone while still holding her tightly.
She kept thrashing around, but i just keep her in lock in my arms, while still whispering comforting words and apologies to her ear occasionally. Fortunately, soon enough, she calmed down.
She's sniffling, and coughing, and she's still shaking, making me feel very worried. I pour a water on the glass with my hand one, while the other is still holding her, then i give it to her.
"Can you drink this for me, darling?" I ask gently, she didn't do anything, so i asked once again.
"Please, drink this? You need to drink water, so you'll still gonna be hydrated." I said softly, and this time, she shook her head.
"I wanna go home..." I sighed defeatedly, i kissed her head and put the glass down.
I took her face with my one hand, pulling it towards me for her gaze to be on me. Her face has no emotions, but her eyes says it all. She's tired, exhausted, even. And i know it's my fault. Her eyes are bloodshot red, same goes to her nose, there's so many stained tears on her cheeks, just by looking at her face made me more mad at myself, and felt extremely more guilty.
"I'm gonna let you go home with your money, I'll even double it, but promise me you're not gonna quit. I mean, even if you really do consider it, i won't let you, but say it to my face that you won't quit, or else-" She cut me off.
"Or else what?" She asked.
"Or else you won't gonna get to step outside, and i will lock you in here." I said with my dominant voice, before silence elope around us.
"Why are you being like this to me?" She asked with the smallest voice, after a minutes of silence.
"Because, i like- love you. I love you, since the first day you walked through my office door, i didn't want to admit it to myself because im scared, but as months passed by, i fell more harder for you, and i-...i couldn't stop it anymore-" She cut me off, once again.
"Please, stop with the bullshit-" I frowned and immediately cut her off.
"Stop saying it's just a bullshit things , because it's not." I said with an offended tone.
"Because it is. How can you say you love me after all the things you have done to me? After how you treated me like shit, as if im just someone who's born to be treated like that?" She quickly interfered making me shut up.
I mean, i have my reasons, but i know deep inside me, it's not that even good enough and too reasonable to say.
I'm too lost in my thoughts because the next thing i know is she easily got out of my arms.
"I won't gonna quit, if you would just give me my money, and let me leave peacefully. And, please, if you really are sorry, stop treating me like an animal, and start treating me like a human." That broke my heart, knowing i really did already got beyond the line.
I was too stunned to speak as all i can do i to watch her her her things, and when she's done, she stopped infront of me. I snapped out of my thoughts, and told her to wait until i get the money. I quickly walk to my office, and took a couple stacks of dollars, that is probably 10x more than her usual payment, but i didn't care.
She frowned when i put it on her hands, then looked at me confusedly.
"It's all yours." I said, with a small smile.
"No, im not gonna accept this just because you pity me or anything." She said while giving me the other stacks, and keeping what is rightfully hers.
"No, you don't have to want it, but i insist. Please, just- just take it." I said, giving her the money, but she shook her head before stepping away from me.
"I don't need that, just give it to those who needs it the most." She said before completely walking away.
I tried to call her, but she just continue to walk until she stopped infront of the elevator. I stand up, running after her as she got in, she turned around and looked at me, tears are visible in her eyes.
"No." She said weakly, but i didn't stopped and continue walking towards the elevator.
"Stop!" She demanded, and i stopped.
I saw the elevator doors closing little by little, a lone tear made its way down on my face, just like hers, but hers are more.
"Y/n..." I called out unknowingly.
"Scarlett..." She quickly said with the same tone as me, as if we're greeting each other, but this one, we have a sad tone.
Soon enough, the elevator closed, i walked towards it completely, before throwing multiple hard punches on it. Tears are now completely streaming down my face, as her name longingly slipped out of my lips while i sob.
Did i lose my chances already?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No One's POV:
"Hey, guys- wait, where's my desk?" Y/n was supposed to greet her friend, but stopped mid way as she took notice of her missing desk.
"Oh god, thank god, you're here! We're gonna ask you the same thing!" Samantha exclaimed worriedly, as Gab nodded.
Y/n felt her heart pounding. What if she's been fired? I mean, there's some good things there, she won't gonna experience being with someone so evil, but she's not ready, by the way Scarlett acted yesterday, saying she won't let Y/n quit. So many thoughts run through her mind, as her friends waited for her answer, the raspy voice boomed from the intercom.
"Ms. Y/l/n, come to my office, please."
Surprisingly, Scarlett's voice is not that cold and scary, it's soft, warm, and she even used a please.
"Go, tell us what happened, okay?" Gab said, and Y/n nodded before turning to her heels and walking towards the office with so many thoughts running through her mind.
She knocked on the door, receiving a soft come in, before she completely went inside. Her eyes quickly landed on a extra desk that is on the corner, with boxes on top of it. She averted her gaze and looked at Scarlett, who is looking at her with soft eyes and small smile?
"Come here. Take a seat." Scarlett softly commanded and Y/n nodded obeying what Scarlett had said.
"Uh- Ms. Johansson, may i ask where's my desk? I mean, my work desk, the one where i work, it's not there when i arrive-" Y/n rambled, avoiding Scarlett's eyes as if she's scared, well, she's nervous, but Scarlett's heart shatter at the thought of Y/n being scared of her.
Scarlett swallowed the lump on her throat, before clearing it. "That's actually the reason why i called you here. From now on, you'll be working here, in this office with me. That..." Scarlett pointed at the desk. "..is yours, and your paperwork will be lessen, but you'll gonna be with me- always gonna be with me everyday and everytime." Scarlett explained, Y/n frowned.
"Is my time here is still the same?" Y/n asked, and Scarlett shook her head.
"You'll go home, once i go home. You'll go here, once i go here. So practically, you're time will be from 7 in the morning, to 10 in the evening." Y/n frowned, but she didn't said anything.
What about her job at the convinient store?
It's as if Scarlett can read her mind, Scarlett speak up.
"And your job at the store is gone, but your payment here will be triple, so you don't have to worry about that. I already talked to the owner of the store, and she immediately agreed." Well, more like, she payed the owner.
Triple of my payment? That's too much. Y/n thought.
"Any question, Ms. Y/l/n?" Scarlett asked, and Y/n shook her head.
"None, Ms. Johansson, thank you. I'll be starting my work now." Y/n said and stood up, but Scarlett stopped her.
"Wait." Scarlett immediate said, making Y/n stop and turned her body to face Scarlett, but still not meeting the older woman's gaze. "...can you look at me?...please..." That's all it took for Y/n to look at Scarlett slowly.
Y/n saw many emotions on Scarlett's face, there's a small frown, her lips are in a thin line, her eyes are slightly red and smaller than it usually are.
"Did you already eat?" No.
Y/n nodded.
"Y-yeah, i-i already ate." She didn't, she already sent all her money to her mother, despite her mother's declines and disagreements, she still did.
Tho, she left money for her bills and all, and a little for her food for a week or 2, but, it's just like for, 1 food for a day.
Even with her best lying action, Scarlett still saw right through Y/n, and she took a mental note on putting more food on Y/n's plate later for lunch and dinner.
"Okay, you may go now." Scarlett said with a soft tone, and Y/n nodded before walking to her desk, arranging all her things again.
Days, week, and a few months goes by, it gets better, it's slow, but there's an improvement on their relationship. Unfortunately, not for Y/n's mother's health.
Scarlett always do this little things that made Y/n's heart soften towards the older woman. Everyday she went to work, there's gonna be a food on her desk, when she would look at Scarlett in curiosity, she would see her being busy and all. Tho, there's no name on it, she knows very well that it's from the blonde woman.
And since everyday, they are together, her heart soften more at the little gestures that the woman does to her, she would open up the door for Y/n, she's very kind towards her now, she's not shouting anymore, and! Everyday, and i mean, everyday, and there's even an exact time that Y/n would recieve different types of flowers, she confronted Scarlett about it, but Scarlett just always changes the topic, after saying; "It's from me, now...blah blah blah...."
Sometimes, Y/n catch Scarlett looking at her, then looked away as if she's not been staring at the younger woman's soul. And ofcourse, with all of those things, it did something to Y/n, but she's just too scared to admit it and figure it out for herself.
Until one night, one moment led to something more.
"Hey, did you guys saw Y/n by any chance?" Scarlett asked Y/n's friends, as she look for the small girl at the crowd of so many people.
There's currently a party for a successful year on their company, and Scarlett decided to throw a big party, with everyone who is working for her, along with other business man and woman who they got to collab in this years events.
Scarlett did saw Y/n earlier, but there's so many interruptions here and there, and she lost her girl. Now, she got the chance to find her as the party started, since they already have a great enough relationship with each other, maybe it's time for Scarlett to move?
We don't want anyone getting you instead of Scarlett, do we?
"Oh, yeah, she actually went home already." Samantha said, and Scarlett nodded before saying thank you.
Taking a few deep breaths, Scarlett told the people who are in charge of the party to guide all the people and to finish this in a few hours already, saying she'll gonna call it a night already.
After that, she quickly went to her car, driving as fast as she could to Y/n's house, with a very nervous nerve and afraid feeling. What if she got rejected? No. I mean, either way she'll always gonna find a solutions to get to call Y/n hers.
Soon enough, she arrived. Some lights are still on, thank god, so she knocked 3 times, only to recieve no answer, so she did it again until she got tired and took it on her own hands to get inside, fortunately it not locked. I mean, she's her boss,and she's worried so what's wrong with trespassing inside of her secretary? Nothing.
"Y/n..." She called out softly, but nothing responded, instead as she walk more steps, her heart broke at the sound he heard.
It's Y/n's voice, she knows it, and the girl is clearly crying, and Scarlett became too desperate to find out. Curiosity got the best of her, and wandered around the small apartment more, until she stopped as soon as the sight of Y/n curled up in ball in a small couch went to her gaze.
She sees the girl shaking, sobbing loudly, a wrecked phone beside her feet, as she hold her face in her shaking hands. Y/n's shoulder is shaking violently, and Scarlett took no hesitation on walking towards her, slowly.
"Y/n..." The younger woman's head whipped at the sound of her name, quickly scrambling around to stand up and fix herself.
"Ms. Johansson-, what are you doing here?" Y/n asked avoiding the CEO's gaze.
Y/n looks so broken, even her voice sounded the same, it sounded so timid that it sounded like in any minute, she'll be bursting in tears. Her chest heaved up and down, almost chaotically, making Scarlett more worried.
She's shaking, her shoulders are violently shaking. She's still in her black dress, a dress that made Scarlett completely mesmerized, and became more simp for the younger woman. Even with her situation right now, Scarlett still finds her the most gorgeous woman that she had ever laid her eyes on.
She'll always gonna be the best girl for Scarlett.
"I was looking for you at the party, your friends told me you might've came home already...." Scarlett started off softly as she scanned the girl. "The door is opened, and I let myself in already, I hope you don't mind." Her heart broke at how Y/n looks so defeated.
"Oh- uh no... I don't mind." Y/n's voice is wavering. "W-what- what uhm-... What do you need, Ms. Johansson?" Y/n asked, still avoiding Scarlett's eyes, as she gaze at her broken cheap phone beside her feet.
Instead of answering, Scarlett decided to walk towards her, her feet softly padding on the old floor as she walk towards Y/n who became tensed at the sudden action, but nevertheless, Scarlett continued until she's just a few inches away from Y/n.
"Are you okay?" Scarlett started off softly, before bringing her head up to Y/n's cheeks, wiping some tears off softly. "What happened? Why are you crying, sweetheart?" As much as it warmed Y/n's heart, she gently pulled her face away from Scarlett's hands, making it fall down slowly.
"I-it's nothing-"Y/n was cut off by her own sob, as she uncontrollably broke down once again, her hands quickly going to her face.
"Hey, hey..." Scarlett brought the younger woman in a big hug, almost covering Y/n's whole body with her tall and masculine one.
Y/n's body rocked in sobs as Scarlett hold he tightly, the older woman's hand going up and down on Y/n's back comfortingly.
"Can you tell me what happened? It's okay if you don't want to, but i'm here okay? You can talk to me of whatever. None of that already, please?" Scarlett's voice wavered at the end, her heart breaking at the sight of Y/n and the sound of her loud broken sobs.
"N-no, y-you can g-go, Scarlett. I'll just do w-whatever you want with me t-tommorow..." Y/n tried to get away from Scarlett's grip, pushing her chest away slightly motioning that she wants to get away, but Scarlett only tightened her grip on the younger woman.
"Y/n." Scarlett said softly but sternly, demandingly rather, as if she doesn't want Y/n to do the actions again.
Y/n stopped, before a pit of sobs broke out of her once again, letting her body fall on to Scarlett chest, the comfort of the older woman is spreading her body like a wildfire, making her ask for more.
"Shhhh, it's gonna be okay, my darling. Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna be with you, I promise, I'll be by your side, yeah?" Scarlett pulled away slightly to have a good look on Y/n, one of her hand is still on Y/n's waist.
"M-mom..." Y/n started, looking down. "My Mom's g-gone, Scarlett... I-i'm all alone now..." Once again, she cried, sobbing loudly before leaning in towards Scarlett.
Scarlett felt her skin became cold, her heart hammered in the inside of her chest.
It can't be. She already gave Y/n's mother the best doctors, and everyday making sure that everything is going well, all that with and without Y/n's knowledge.
Y/n knows that Scarlett is partially helping through her mother's therapy and all, but she didn't know that Scarlett is also the one who's paying for the expenses on the expensive hospital where her mother was in.
Scarlett even met Y/n's mother already, asking for her mother's blessing on having Y/n as her girlfriend, which Y/n's mother already gave Scarlett freely. Being the charming woman she is, she always visited Y/n's mother until she got what she wanted, showing her good intentions and all.
All that without Y/n's knowledge, but that enough for Scarlett to be calm knowing that no one can have her girl, except her and her only.
But now, Y/n's mother is gone, it saddened her, broke her heart even, she became utterly close with the woman, treating her like her own mother, while the woman treated her like her own daughter.
A part of her is somehow, relieved, thinking that Y/n's mother is already at peace, and knowing that she already promised to Y/n's mother that she'll protect her daughter for forever and eternity.
And she will.
She will never let Y/n feel that she's alone, she's here.
"I'm here." Scarlett said with much determination.
"I will always gonna be here, no matter how much you pushed me away, or whatever. And if you'll let me, I will give you the love I have been meaning to give you all along." Scarlett said softly, and hearing Y/n's sobs quite down she became nervous, as Y/n slowly look up at Scarlett with mixed emotions in her eyes.
Y/n doesn't know if she wants to believe what she's hearing or not, Scarlett had already shown her every thing for her to confirm that the older woman has a feelings for her, she fell for it, and now, hearing Scarlett saying this, it somehow brought the chaotic thoughts calm down about Scarlett in her mind.
And as they look at each other in each passing seconds, both of their hearts grew, and from that moment, Scarlett knew that everything she had been waiting for, the 'forever' she's been looking for, for so long, has now been found.
Her forever is now found.
And she doesn't have any intention of letting it slipped out of her hand, not for forever.
°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~
Wow, I never thought that this would get out of my drafts 😭 I just want to thank @thewidowsledger for giving me all the things that I really need to hear to continue my writing journey, thank you so much, Den! (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) (Would you like a part 2 for this, everyone?)
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lost-and-ephemeral · 9 months ago
Note
What would the LaD boys do if the reader was sick?
Imagine: Get Well Soon (ft. main trio)
Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)
Tags: fluff, comfort, you are sick
A/N: as a person with really weak immune system i wish someone would take care of me too
-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 
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Zayne
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"I'm prescribing bed rest for you for the next few days. No objections."
No matter how hard Zayne is trying to hide his concern for you behind a mask of indifference, you could still tell how he feels from his tone.
Either way, you're in the best possible hands.
Considering his job, he can't just leave everything and rush to you. He's got surgeries scheduled. But you can be sure he'll spend all his free time with you until you get better. And if you ask, he can lie down next to you.
He'll take care of cooking and will make sure you take your medicine on time. He may be a little strict with you, but that is only because Zayne really cares about you. You need cold compresses? Give him a minute. You're thirsty because of the fever? He's already brought you a glass of warm water. Hugs? Well, why not, since love is the best medicine.
Zayne is calm and collected, he knows exactly what needs to be done. So all you have to do is lie down and get well while he takes care of you and covers all your needs.
"Sleep. Your body needs to rest so it can recover faster. I'll be here."
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Xavier
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"It may not have turned out very tasty, but I really tried."
Poor Xavier, being very caring and sweet, is simply incompatible with cooking. Even when it comes to chicken soup. But he'll try for you this time.
Although you ended up agreeing on the fact that he'd just order delivery, rather than accidentally setting your kitchen on fire while trying to cook something else.
He'll try to take a couple days off to stay with you until you get better. Just so he doesn't have to worry about your health getting worse while he's on a mission.
He will make sure you have everything you need, especially a warm blanket. And if that blanket isn't enough, he can always keep you warm with his embrace. No, Xavier is not afraid of getting sick himself, he is confident in his immune system.
Most likely to fall asleep along with you at some point, cuddling you and resting his head on your chest. You will benefit from sleep, and he just needs it to recharge his energy. So it's a win-win.
"Just let me know if you need anything. Don't even hesitate to ask me."
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Rafayel
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"Don't worry, I won't let this teeny-weeny sickness stop us from spending time together. You'll get better soon under my care."
Rafayel sounds really confident, but he's actually worried. He just knows how to hide it well behind a thick layer of false self-confidence.
And he will never admit that he felt like a lost child for a minute.
Rafayel won't want to leave your side for a single minute and will make the coziest nest in the bed for you. Of course, someone has to go and buy some meds, because it's impossible to find any in the chaos of his studio, so that falls to Thomas.
Poor Thomas.
Luckily, he can cook quite well on his own, so you won't have any trouble with that. In any case, he can always order a delivery too.
Will spend as much time with you as you need and bring you whatever you want. Paintings can wait, he'll always be able to finish them on time. Besides, maybe he'll find inspiration from being with you.
Not afraid to get sick either, so he'll cuddle you 24/7, telling you that comes into his mind until you feel like sleeping.
"See? Told you I can take great care of you."
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marchsfreakshow · 3 months ago
Text
Familiarities Upon Death [James Patrick March]
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Angst
James' relationship with you faded to one resemblancing his relationship with The Countess. He had to indulge in his childish need for you. No matter your reaction. No matter what it took.
James may be a simp but he also likes his murder. You can all blame 'I Love You Like An Alcoholic' for this. Also, possibly my longest fic ever! Go me.
Warnings: dead dove!! descriptions of cuts, James being gross<3
No one's perspective
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
If you had put The Countess and you in a room together, you likely ended up discussing James. She did not love the ghost. She never did. You always did. You forever had his undead heart.
Yet the relationship wavered. It wavered all too similarly. James could feel his heart break again. He couldn't face this. He couldn't. Not again.
How many hearts did he have to leave at your door? How many notes did he have to scribble on his napkins? How many flowers did he have to get Liz or Iris to order for you? How much murder did he have to get through, just to get you? You modern, stubborn, darling, annoying thing!! Were you trying to torture him??
"Darling I have managed to order one of your favourite meals."
"My dear, I noticed this dress on a visitor so I killed her and had the dress washed for you. Please enjoy it."
"My hummingbird, what books do you enjoy nowadays?"
Question after question. Need after need. Physical affection halted. Just holding your fingers. Holding your hand against his lips was all he wanted. It would feed his desperation for you for months. All he wanted was a look. One measly look into your eyes. One small glint of hope that your relationship with the ghost had not fallen into his one with Elizabeth.
He came to accept that he once again had his heart broken. His ghostly void of a heart. Deader inside than it was before.
"James?" Your voice rang. Like a fire stoked after so long of ice. The killer was scrambling at your feet like a clingy puppy. Milking and lapping up the noise of his name leaving your lips. Still as wonderful, still as ethereal as ever. Yet he stayed silent. Don't say anything stupid now James, you'll ruin this opportunity. "Can you murder someone for me?"
"Yes. Yes of course my dear." James's voice was suddenly shaky, standing up and holding your hands to his chest. His free hand around the small of your back, like he had craved to do for so many weeks. "Name who and it will be done."
"Me."
Eye contact like none before. Was what you were asking true? Did you want him to be your murderer? Truly? "D-dear?"
"Kill me, James." You stated. "Whether or not you want theatrics, it's your choice."
There was a stunned silence from the ghost in front of you. For 5 minutes, the silence continued. His response was an uncharacteristic quiet and nervous answer. "Why? Why my dear? Why must you crave death when you are so loved by family outside this drab heap?" Almost rushed, worried. James had never been so rushed with his words. The usually calm, collected man was a mess in front of you. Desperate for you to be living your life. The most odd statement for him to think. What was he thinking? He wanted you with him 24/7, obviously, but you were so accomplished already in life, and offers were at your feet.
Even an offer to still live but have a blood-loving virus instead. She had offered gracefully and didn't expect an answer at once. Gave you time to think. Yet, The Countess waited still. She awaited an answer with lowering patience. Any new day, and she might've killed you herself or turn you anyway. Enjoyed the nectarine that kept you alive. The liquid was a rush of endorphins for the woman.
"Because I don't want that life, James. I need that life like I need a ton of bricks heaping upon me." Your eyes never broke his when you spoke your words calmly, and rationally. "I need you like I need a ton of bricks heaping upon me."
The ghost could only look worried and almost scared at your sentences. What on earth were you saying? What was this nonsense you had drilled into your mind? "...were my gifts not enough my bird? Were the..the.. darling meals I offered not enough?" He stammered his way through the cries. The pleas to keep you alive. Why, any other time you may have offered yourself, James would create a theatre performance out of it. An erotic performance. Looking into your eyes was nothing but a confirmation. "...as you wish my hummingbird." You dropped yourself out of his hold.
Walking yourself into your room. James followed close by, stalking you the way he had in the shadows for weeks on weeks. Your demand was simply insane, and it was nonsense in his head. Possibly the only person he never wanted to murder. He never wanted to lay his blade on your skin in any way. Whether you asked it from him so you could cum or not. That one, singular dress he stole for you, laid on your bed. Bare and blue. The navy glistened still under the barely dim light. Yet you could find his eyes still. "Will...you put the dress on for me my dear?" He asked, hesitantly. Blade twirling his fingers nervously. This was unlike the killer you knew. He was nervous, stammering, fiddling with his weapon. Scared? No, no. Of course, he wasn't scared. Was he?
The rustling of clothes brought him out of raging thoughts. The fabric he had laid bare for you, suddenly clinging to your skin. It still reeked of iron and floral perfume. The unflattering combation wafting into your nose, as it moved with you. "You are stuck in that dress forever when I do this. You understand that my darling?"
"Don't talk down to me. I know what the fuck I'm doing." You seethed back, just wanting this over with. Defiance was never something James took kindly to.
"You, my dear, speak to me like that again, your death will not be quick and simple like you desire."
"Just get it over with James." You snapped. Did you really hate him that much? Did you realise despise the killer so much you didn't want to enjoy this process?
The silence appeared for almost a strangling minute. Strangling for one word from either of you. James dared not speak his plan to you. It would only annoy you further. Only make your desire for a quick death stronger.
Instead, he simply knocked you out. Let you fall to the ground with a hard thump. As much as he loved you, James didn't like people speaking back to him. You were not an exception anymore.
Tying you down to wherever he could, the ropes tight. Tight to squeeze hard at your wrists and ankles. The circulation soon going dead, numbed by fibre keeping you upright. Instead of that dazzling, navy blue dress you wore, you were naked. Left only in whatever underwear you were wearing. A sight to behold. A sight James enjoyed all too much. He would take you now if it weren't for his respect for your body. Tugs at your wrist as you slowly woke from unconsciousness. Dingy dusk meeting your glazed, tired eyes. Blinking and gathering your bearings. Another tug. Wait? What was happening? "James?" You asked hoarse. Squirming in place against the cold metal table. Yeesh! Talk about freezing! "James, what am I doing on here?" You asked again.
Silence still.
Alright, you were starting to get a bit scared now. "J-James?" A wavering voice, a quivering lip. No! Get yourself together! It's simply...a little foreplay...you deluded yourself into thinking. Foreplay. That's all this was.
"I had given you plenty of time my dear." The muffled voice became louder as the steps grew closer. "Theatrics are what I desire from you. Love and obedience. It is a simple request yes?"
A moment of silence between the two of you. He took your silence as the answer.
"It seems even that could not be obtained from you. She has poisoned you against me." Ah, his childishness. Pettiness. The Countess hadn't done anything to you. Not yet anyway. "And the fact you decided to come to me for this murder, only means that I will continue to claim you." His needs to claim and want like a petulant child! It was annoying to no end. Always found yourself on the brink of yelling at the ghost to shut the fuck up for once. You wanted to rip that mask off of James and slice his lips off. Bash his teeth out so he knew how dreadful it was to be silenced. How much it was despised.
You kept your lips shut. You shut yourself up and did not speak another word. Speaking out fear would only encourage James to take his time. It would only increase his lust for your screams. Fuck this. You tugged. You pulled and panted as you struggled. If you didn't know any better, you'd think James was getting hard from this scenario. Loving the way your chest moved as your breathing increased. How shaky your legs were looking. How terrible the grip was your hands had, on nothing. A lulled head as your struggles became useless. Obviously, it was useless. That logic became clear enough within the first few seconds of your attempt to free yourself.
A bittersweet kiss on your quivering lips. Murdering fingers finding your jaw and holding your head up. "Even when you are struggling you are still ethereal my dear." Damn this man to all hell. He was in love and lust and obsession. A disgusting killer who murdered dozens. Still murders dozens. The thought that he carved a soul out of every person who passed him by...just to leave it in your room for your next visit. Deranged and manic. Nothing but pure insanity.
"fuu...fuck you.." Your words were tired, lifeless already.
"I have given you ample opportunities to do so my dear. Yet you never reciprocate."
A harsh silence fell yet again. It lingered in the room for what felt like hours. It stung with every breath leaving your lungs. Harsh and continuing reminders of the predicament you were stuck in. The ghostly killer who loved you so, prepared to torture your unfaint heart. Of course, you were used to grim, unfair and macabre ways of life. No one gets anywhere by playing fair, do they? You certainly didn't. You never played by the rules or played fair with others close by. Ticking and slipping cuts, wages and skin here. There. Everywhere.
However, it seemed all for nought at this point. Only to become an unwilling cherry on top of James' list of loves and lusts. Just where he wanted you.
Your voice was worn eventually. Your shaking had not quit. Your head lulled again. Yet, he was just starting. Cuts that covered your arms. Dripping the blood down the side of your body. Warm red liquid making you shiver and squirm as it slowly eased out of the spliced skin. Such beautiful skin. If only you had loved James back the way he wanted you to. Useless, heavy breaths that never deterred your killer of a lover. His cuts started with a dull, rusty blade. A 'J' on your palms. Jagged and unfit letters now etched into your hand. Swift, sharp gashes in random directions on your forearms, making small cries and screams leave those pretty kissable lips of yours. A quick repeat on your other arm. Oh, it was like a work of art... truly it was. Such decorated arms, bleeding red, never-ending. It might've killed you just then. "Determined to live aren't you?"
"Please... please James. Please. I'll be good, I'll love you the way you want again. Please just stop."
Oh no no no no...no..you sweet thing. That wasn't good enough anymore. Nope. Your sweet sobs and begs wouldn't get you anywhere anymore. Despite how much James wanted to kiss those cuts he made and love you eternally. "You said you wanted to die, and die you shall." His voice was still calm, cool and collected. How could a man like James go from a whining, needy man-child, to a tall-standing, confident killer? Oh right. Because he was obsessed with you. You were all he craved. Now you had ruined it. You didn't love him anymore. And it broke him into more pieces he couldn't pick up. Spending years scraping the bottom of the barrel for affection from James. Yet now, he didn't feel a need for that from you.
The rusty blade teasing your throat, pushing slightly against that pressure point needed. Only for a moment. Breathing heavy and... almost a whine escaping you once it was pulled from your neck. "Desperate for the release death will bring my pet... You are more naïve than I believed."
Large, unkind slashes to your legs. One after the other, never stopping until James was satisfied. He was never satisfied. Your constant, tired and weepy gaze on him. Sniffling nothing as you pouted those spit-covered, pretty red lips of yours. You looked like you were teasing him, not on purpose of course. You were naturally a sobbing, drivelling mess right now. And it could not have pleased your killer more. "Do not look so prettily upon me my dear, you may make me feel bad." He hummed nonchalantly, dragging the tip of the blade up your cervix. One long cut, making a horrible, rusty mark against the underwear you wore. Yet, it still split, and cold, uncaring air was swiftly met.
The cuts to your torso were different. He couldn't do as you probably well pleased, since any cut would mean death. And he wanted to kill you how he killed himself. The sweet slice to your neck. Making blood splatter and splutter down your body, covering James as it sprayed. Convulsing and screams, whimpers escaping you. Your death was approaching faster than expected. And James had decided to once again give you a kiss. Taking his, frankly, attractive, mask off and holding your bloody chin up. Lost eyes not focusing. You were colder. You couldn't tell your surroundings. "I knew you would die beautifully my darling." He faintly whispered. Cold lips meeting fleeting warmth. Oh, he loved kissing you. Even if that kiss was one pressed to your now corpse.
Death was different. It wasn't heaven or hell like Christians described. It wasn't like a waiting room like your parents described. It wasn't like a meeting with a hooded skeleton and a ride to the underworld like your sibling described. It was cold. Silent. Unloved. Black and nothing. It had consumed you whole. Eaten you like a starving man would any bug he could find on the street. Death was uncaring like the living world was. It didn't care what you were in life. An angel to others or a nuisance running amok, you were all consumed. Taken wholly by a void that rarely spat you back out. If it did, you were a ghost. The soul that couldn't be kept down.
The running void consumed you for 10 minutes. 15, tops. James was almost worried you were not about to ghost the place he needed you to call home. He stood and observed. Watched your corpse become cold and rigid. You died so beautifully. All the ghostly killer did was stand and watch. He watched, frozen in place. Was your soul even that upset at the other? Maybe he should weaken himself for your soul to appear. "Dear...you do realise I need you still yes? Come on. I am aware of you.." he urged your stiff body. Minutes passed. The ticking of his internal clock was growing more invasive, more panicky as he had not seen a shift of your soul yet. "This is not a game my pet, come to me. Now."
Your soul appeared eventually. Slumped on your knees by your rotting body. Rubbing your eyes like a sleepy child, before gathering your bearings and looking up at James. Sudden memories hitting your head and a cowering whimper escaping you. He took notice of the noise and looked down at you. Throwing his mask to the side as he scooped your ghost up, and laid you out on the scratchy sheets. Too much movement for someone who just spent 15 minutes in a void. "J-James..stop.." you urged quietly as he placed kisses over you. Over your face, your neck, clavicle. Every single little cut on your body he kissed. It wasn't soothing despite what he thought. It wasn't sweet and loving like he so craved. "Stop!"
His eyes became worried and wide as he pulled himself away from your thigh. "Dear?" The ghost was clingy. Horribly clingy.
"Can you give me like 5 fucking seconds before you try and fuck my ghost?"
"b-but darling-"
"James! Give. Me. A. Fucking moment. Understand me?" He cowered again, scared to lose you again. A nod as a response as James got up and left the room without another word. Instead of walking down to his room and having a drink, he stood patiently outside your door and waited. He would wait for the rest of eternity. If he had to.
Your legs were shaky. You explored yourself in the mirror. Dried blood making your skin tinged a little bit. "god..." The whisper leaving you as your arms were practically wound after wound. Your legs as well. The wounds were a physical reminder of the fact your killer was your lover.
You wanted this. You wanted to die here.
But not like this. Not this way. Not with two 'J' 's on your palms, reminding you of the man outside your door. Blinking, you tore away from the mirror, refusing to face yourself anymore.
There, on the bed, laid your clothes before you died, and the dress you were offered so generously. Either way, you were going commando for the rest of time, and then some, so both options were uncomfortable in some way. A sweater and jeans it was. The clothes rustled as they fit you snugly. "Fuck...fuck!!" Emerged from your lips as you paced around the room. "Ohhhh fuck this. This fucking...shitty...bullshit!!" Every word that left you only served as a reminder that you wanted to die. Needing to remind yourself that you were the one who asked to be killed. Unsatisfied with your life and the people in it.
James decided to step into your room now, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "I thought I taught you to not swear my dear."
"Fuck you!" You started, immediately getting up in James' face without an issue. Practically stomping around him as the harsh words dug into the soul's head and heart. "Fuck you, you fucking prick. 1920s fucking... serial killer. God, you're so hot you annoy the shit out of me! Seriously, why the fuck did you have to fucking kill me this way you fucker?! I expected one fucking slash to the neck, done deal!!"
The ghost, of course, was used to such theatrics from you and stood patiently. Waiting for you to stop spitting venom onto his feet as you circled him. Your words stopped, and he held you again. James simply took you by your waist, holding you tight against him. His hand on the small of your back, his other hand holding yours. Reminiscent of when you asked him to kill you. Bringing you flush against his chest. The angry mutters became silent sniffles and pathetic tears. Blinking and looking up at the killer you adored, hated.
"I fucking hate you."
"No, you don't hate me."
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
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Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @coentinim / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @marchsfreak / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @t8-ak47
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astrobydalia · 1 year ago
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more observations (lost count)✨
Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!
❗️long post
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work by astrobydalia
✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged
✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo
✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow
✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.
^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency
✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge
✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out
✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled
✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words
✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you
✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality
✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works
✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful
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✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.
✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless
✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious
✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars
✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy
✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant
✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.
✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between
✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values
✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense
✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children
✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to
✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go
✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues
I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'
✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities
✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone
✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?
✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity
✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra
✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense
✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen
✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial
✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.
✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance
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stuffeddeer · 2 months ago
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Hii! I dont know if this has already been requested if so just feel free to ignore this, but could i request dazai with a reader whos really outgoing with friends and people she knows but when it comes to being serious or talking to new people shes super akward, anxious and stutters in a kind of wierd way and like if shes made fun of she doesnt know how to respond so she just says silent?
Sorry if theres any spelling mistakes or if this is confusing english is not my first language😭
Dazai with a socially anxious s/o | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader
dazai locks tf in.
he's outgoing 24/7 so if you're ever in a position where you're meeting new people, he'll step up and make a complete fool of himself so you don't feel anxious
there is no need to fear a bad first impression when the guy next to you just fell to the floor screaming for no reason . 💀
or he'll put on the show!!! he can guide the conversation and metaphorically hold your hand through introductions (or physically if that helps you feel better!!!)
no need to be anxious because he'll create an environment so casual so regular so nontoxic comfy cozy you'll be behaving normally in no time and BAM new friend just made 🙂‍↕️
if you get made fun of btw????? he's "locking in" a new round of bullets—
sources say he no longer kills. Shame!
but fr he'll go up to bat for you. dazai is really good at making passive aggressive comments so it doesn't start an all out war if you're not into confrontation but will make the other person feel terrible about themselves!!!
or if you don't care he'll just chew them out right there and then. he'll just say their home address and social security number while looking them dead in the eyes
maybe you care Too much! who's to say! so you'd prefer a kinder option - that's fine, dazai loveesss expressing how much you mean to him anyway!!!!! if someone makes a rude remark about your looks, personality, what have you, he immediately starts talking about how, actually, you're perfect and he loves that about you and such
making fun of your stuttering? that's funny, because dazai actually has security cam footage of them stuttering when grabbing their mail from the main floor of their apartment complex—
he wants to be so evil and mean to those people and it fully depends on if you'd be comfortable letting him off his leash to do so lol
if you go silent dazai will make some excuse and get you out of the situation and take you home or to get food or whatever you want to get away from those people!!!!!!!!!!
dazai doesn't really care for serious conversations anyway, so no worries there :) he'll just be silly with you whenever you need
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plutoasteroids · 3 months ago
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Tarot Readers Owe You Nothing
When a tarot reader decides to not answer an ask or just make short readings for you it's because they can! It's their blog and they are free to do whatever they please with it. If they feel like opening a game and they mention multiple times they are doing limited readings if yours wasn't done, then better luck next time instead of hiding behind an anonymous post to tear them down.
As a reader I am not here to fulfil some fantasy you have of your SP
I am not here to be your 24/7 therapist
Nor are they here to be treated like dirt because you didn't get your way.
I have seen so many posts of readers getting attacked for the length of their readings or limiting their readings. I will always defend tarot readers because this takes up sooo much energy and time.
Readers don't need you coming on to their blog to complain because something didn't go your way or wasn't exactly what you wanted.
And to tarot readers that are called scammers, fake, lazy etc because they aren't satisfied you have every right to block that person because you certainly don't owe them a damn thing.
I open games out of pure love for tarot and wanting to do something for someone that doesn't mean I am going to answer all 170+ asks. IF IT'S LIMITED IT'S LIMITED. I SET THAT RULE AND I WON'T CHANGE MY MIND!
To anyone that struggles with people pleasing as a reader of any kind just know you don't owe some of these ungrateful people anything at all!
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goldenbomb · 10 months ago
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I also have to follow these listed rules every time I hit the following number of notes. So please stop spamming the comments!
300 notes: Use a medium plug now
600 notes: Spend $20 on sissy clothes (must be pink)
900 notes: Wear panties 24/7 from now on
1200 notes: Spend $40 on sissy clothes (must be pink)
1500 notes: Sit on a 6-inch dildo once week for 30 min
1800 notes: Listen to 1 audio file of sissy hypno before bed
2100 notes: Wear androgynous or feminine clothes at home from now on
2400 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week
2700 notes: I can cum only once a month
3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min
3300 notes: Wear androgynous or feminine clothing in public from now on
3600 notes: Wear only slutty or pink sissy clothing at home
3900 notes: I have to wear a corset under my clothes everyday
4200 notes: Use a large plug now
4500 notes: Use a smaller cage
4800 notes: I can only watch/listen to girly media, anything masculine or geared towards males is banned
5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min
5400 notes: Listen to sissy hypno every time I do anal
5700 notes: I can only cum when I'm riding a dildo and it's changed to 1 cum every 3 months
6000 notes: Make a Twitter account archiving proof and progress
6300 notes: Every week either post proof/update pics of locked chastity, gif of current dildo riding, gif of current plug insertion, and pics of current sissy outfit that I'm being made to wear from these tasks
6600 notes: I have to permanently use she/her pronouns
6900 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min
7200 notes: Lock myself in ballet heels for 3 hours every day
7500 notes: From now on edge every day for 2 hours
7800 notes: Use a smaller cage
8100 notes: Every 3 days I have to use a chastity cage with a sounding rod
8400 notes: Buy the most embarrassing humiliating sissy pink dress I can find (with all the ruffles and it locks when zipped up)
8700 notes: I can only wear a dress or skirt in public from now on
9000 notes: Get Started on Estrogen
9300 notes: Every 3 days either post proof/update pics of locked chastity, gif of current dildo riding, gif of current plug insertion, and pics of current sissy outfit that I'm being made to wear from these tasks
9600 notes: I now have to use a sounding chastity cage from now on
9900 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 5 times a week for 1 hour
10200 notes: Once a week, I have to replace my plug with a dildo while I'm out in public for the day
10500 notes: I can only cum once a year
10800 notes: Buy a fucking machine
11100 notes: Buy and use sounding rods 3 times a week for 30 min
11400 notes: Buy breast/nipple pumps and use it twice a week to increase the size
11700 notes: Put on an inverse chastity cage from now on and no more edging or unlocking
12000 notes: Start an OF
12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cocks
12600 notes: I can only cum from anal
12900 notes: (I need ideas)
13200 notes: Use an XL plug now
13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy
13800 notes: glue the lock shut, flush the key down the toilet, the only way I'm getting out now is if I hit 15000 notes
14100 notes: (I need ideas)
14400 notes: (I need ideas)
14700 notes: Get nipple piercings
15000 notes: Bottom surgery (My Life is Over). However I have to spend at least 25% of the entire chastity sentence in a cage before I get bottom surgery to prolong this even longer.
Please just scroll past this and don't interact with this post at all! I like my current life!
If you want to support feel free soy sent me stuff from my wishlist.
This post will LOCK IN on March 24 2024
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