#I just want to drink tea and WRITE
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Whumping for creatives is just looking at the clock and feeling miserable as it gets closer to the time that you have to put down what you're writing or drawing to go work at your actual job.
#vent#whump thoughts#thoughts#deedoo original#deedoo thoughts#I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK UGH#I just want to drink tea and WRITE#text post#I hate needing money to live
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thanks so much with your answer about wine, I didn't know how else to phrase it but I agree with savouring it as well ;gslfdmsg
I've only had wine a handful of times but so far white wine is my preference :3 esp with dessert
yeah of course!! I think a lot of people are intimidated by wine because there's such a wide variety to it and a lot of pretentious vibes (especially with people who are super into wine) but I'm of the belief that there's a wine out there for basically everybody, and I love being able to help people feel more comfortable navigating wine as a whole!
#i have a whole mental flow chart im working on to find a wine someone will like based on their answer to “what do you order at a cafe”#this is for people who have no experience with wine btw#since obviously some people love napa cabs and exclusively drink green tea#this flowchart isnt for those people#it's too detailed for me to just write it down as is but if anyone wants to send me their coffeeshop drink order#ill suggest a wine for you#bitts answers
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Mornings at Hampden College
#I got caught up in what pajamas they’d all wear and before I knew it these all but made themselves#henry and francis have dressing gowns#the twins drink their coffee black and with sugar#richard wears socks to bed#bunny falls asleep in his chair often#henry prefers tea to coffee#francis smokes a cigarette before doing anything in the morning#whereas henry will wait until he’s made tea#and charles just wants to be cozy#they all read and write all the time#francis abernathy#tsh#the secret history#collage#camilla macaulay#moodboard#charles macaulay#henry winter#richard papen#bunny corcoran#donna tartt#dark academia#light academia#headcanons#aesthetic#morning aesthetic#light academia aesthetic#cozy#bedtime#<3
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headcanon:
give leon a pot of coffee and 5 energy drinks and he'll pass out a few minutes later
give chris 1 energy drink and he'll swallow the can, too, but he'll be complaining about his heart racing
#goofy ass chreon#3 coffees + tea + energy drink and i just want to go to sleep ?#i feel faster but still tired#sad i really want to get back to writing...
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💌 just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who’s left such lovely feedback on my latest chapter of four walls. it’s been a weird and emotionally draining week for me, and getting to come back after a long day and read all your kind words has been such a solace. it’s truly hard to put into words how much it means when people connect with something you’ve created (and i’m far too exhausted to even attempt it tonight), but trust me when i say nothing grounds me and keeps me writing through all the difficult stuff more than knowing that what i’m creating means something to people other than just me. thank you so much for your generosity in sharing that with me via your lovely comments and feedback 💌
#friendly reminder to leave comments on the fics you enjoy#it means the world to all of us writing them 💜#also sorry if this is totally incoherent#i’m so exhausted and overwhelmed tonight i feel like i could fall into bed and sleep for the next 48 hours#but i just wanted to share this because it’s been something i’ve been so thankful for all week 💗#i can’t wait to get stuck into finishing the next chapter for posting this weekend#i know there’s been a lot of slow build but… well#what it’s building to is very close now#and i’m so excited to share it with you!!#anyway i’ll stop rambling now#i’m going to drink tea and watch hannibal and try and have an early night#thank you and sorry to anyone who’s read through all of this nonsense 😅#i need to stop posting on tumblr when i should probably just go to sleep lol#four walls#lulu posts
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i want to go for matcha ice cream
#had a very shitty chemistry paper today#the most 'confident' answer was a fucking trick question#i'm dying inside but im physically still here sooooo#ITS TIME TO CRAM FOR MATH TOMORROW#YAY MORE SUFFERING#god i just want to write fanfiction and play my silly game with my silly darlings#and buy books and drink milk tea and eat ramen and drink matcha#is that too much to ask for#caffe speaks#i also require blueberry meiji ice cream#because its good
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save me mango yogurt
#i Don't Want to meet with my professorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr in 3 minutes :(#i did not sleep so i could finish the fuckass outline that we both know i'm not gonna follow when i write the actual paper#and she liked my idea the first time i presented it but what if she doesn't want me to directly expand it what if she wants something new#AGH#:/#a post#the last meeting went long and i panicked and exited the zoom so now i have to just? guess? how long it'll take for them to wrap shit up?#i personally hate everything that's happening <3 i just wanna do my laundry so i can pack#but then i have to think about outfits and then i have to drive 4 hours to then be driven 2 hours to fly. for 5 hours. ('-_-)/|#my ass will be conked on this fucking plane i'm so excited to be unconscious#i'm gonna give them 10 minutes i think? and then just not panic next time if she's still there#i have 3 different drinks atm 2 of which are different teas this shit is serious#we moved. the fucking meeting. to tomorrow. when i will be in fuckass indiana </3#at least it'll be 1pm est but i've fucked my sleep schedule so bad at this point that literally anything could happen
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sigh... ok fine, i'll do a work. but i did like 50 works yesterday
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drinkijng water is so weird bc how do i know this isnt holy water meant to harm me
#im a demon alter btw#🌶️#text#i genuinelu cant drijk water i can drink anything else (including stuff like tea) but not water bc of the inherent paranoia. for some reason#when i boil water j feel like i put it thru thr flames of hell so boiled water is safe but i dont want to boil water every time i have to#drink it. sorry i write too long in tags#do other demon alters get this…#rose (alao a demon) is cofronting w me and shes. of. a similar opinion?#the half demons of our system r fine though from what i know. from what knowledge has been left upon me#this is so confusinf to navigate#theres nothing else to drink too usuaoly id just get a substitute drink like idfk coke#do i tag this in the sys tags. no. i shouldnt
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4 credit college course where it is a comfy room with comfy chairs and scented candles and it is quiet and warm and the course is eepy 101 and the final exam is writing essay about why nap good based off scientific research (napping in aforementioned course)
#i still hate colleg#this will come as a surprise to everyone#guys ijust want to write but im so tired all the time there’s so much stuff i have to do Every Day i VAN NOT DO IT!!!!#drinking my arizona iced tea to numb the pain i can’t even get Starbucks on campus bc it’s so far and they’re always out of what I want#can’t drive bc car in parking lot 30 minutes away#this is an institution this is not higher education get ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!#just want to write klavquill this iss oooooooo terrible#on the bright side my Russian course is fun#i am strongly disklikg half my classes tho. why is literary theories prof genuinely so boring#and incapable of teaching#apparently there’s a gothic lit course I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT…. IM SO SAD IM SO SAD#ok rant in the tags over. Thanks for coming everyone I’ll see u next week#it will probably be when I do laundry because ALL IDO IS LAUNDRY APOATRNTLY……..
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i'm just so weee! that you are writing again, but ofc no rush, take your time<3333 how is your weekend goin, my favorite shig fucker?
aaAAAAAA NONNIE THANK U FOR BEING HEREEEEE!! I’m also so so happy to be writing again, I honestly enjoy it so much and I’m happy my brain’s providing me enough juice to get me through it hehehhe
but youre so so sweet thank you!! for being so understanding and patient (ノ﹏ヽ)
MY WEEKEND IS GOOOOD @blahkugo finally finished her assignments for the year so I’ve been over cooking for her HAHAHA I’ve been seeing everyone freak out over the new bnha leaks too tho so I need to go take a peeeksies and see ahats going on :3cc
#urusai! baka#THANK U MY LOOOOOVEEEEE#THANK U FOR BEING SO KIND???? WAAAAAA#i truly truly love writing and i forgot how satisfying it is to /create/#like the sense of accomplishment u get is unmatched HAHA#rae and i are trying to plan some lil mini event tho to get the ball really goinnnng#id say im about halfway done this fic?? just a lil under maybe??#but as im writing this im literally so sleepy HAHA im on the sofa and im out of milk for coffee or tea#even tho i usually drink my tea black but recently ive been put onto a splash of vanilla oat in my black tea#and its literally divineeeee so now i want it but im too lazy to grab more HAHAH#SO THATS ME RN#HOW ARE U THO#I HOPE THE WEATHER IS LOVELY WHERE U ARE#(also blushing at the favshig fucker <333 ily kiss kiss)
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Homemade sweet tea :] tastes like childhood
#I love tea and I need to drink WAY less soda than I currently do#I think limiting my soda intake to going out to eat + occasionally buying a can or two at a gas station is fine#also I don’t like super sweet sweet tea just enough it’s not too bitter#combos with my eating better New Year’s resolution#I need yhe veggies or I’ll cry#I’m getting actually comfortable cooking here which helps greatly#struggling still and stressed as hell but I’m powering through however I can 👍#also started a note in my phone which I will probably turn into an organized gdoc#of foods I like and can make#along with snacks and drinks I enjoy#to make my life easier AND the lives of peopel that know me easier#because I can write down what I’ll want from the store
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** i want to write so badly i can feel it sitting on my chest and its so heavy sometimes. i want it to be fizzing and popping and sparkling out of me like pop rocks candy or fireworks but its just so heavy and its so sad and its so tired and its all curled up in there like a creature that's forgotten how it used to fly.
#yu.txt#feels bad! i keep looking at things i've started writing in this year and they're all so lovely and i can't even remember how i made them#how to continue with them. scared of starting something new because what if i don't finish it? then its just something else scattered over#the desk of my mind already teetering with half-finished baubles and foggy crystal balls that have a few sentences in them and its so much#i've definitely written more than i've posted but its all pieces of things that i see a machine for. like incomplete blueprints. and i've#stacked all the blueprints on the desk and haven't looked at them in so long i've forgotten how they fit together. going to take a moment#actually. and maybe make myself some tea or something nice to drink and look at what i've written this year seriously. objectively.#i want to write and i feel like i've forgotten that i ever have bc the volume of what i want to write and what i have written is so very#imbalanced so i feel like i haven't written anything at all :< gotta sit down and actually think this through.
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i need some motivation to do shit, so like... notes thingy i guess
100 notes - water consumption for the body. marching band season made me realize i dont drink enough fucking water out here. (alright, i guess i need water now... I WAS DRINKING TEA EARLIER. THATS CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT??)
200 notes - food consumption, i guess. i'll try to eat 3 full meals a day. enough to make my body full and stuff. (gods dammit. well, i already ate breakfast and lunch, and i have leftovers from lunch, so, i guess dinner's all set for me.)
300 notes - homework completion. i've been lacking in my homework game, and i definitely need to improve it this semester. (...i'll start my chem homework tomorrow since saturdays are my rest days, okay??? MOST OF MY WEEKEND HOMEWORK IS DONE BUT THANKS FOR CARING, CHAT)
400 notes - writing hobby. i need motivation to write lore for my dnd campaign (#runaway ruler dnd / #convict ruler dnd / #ruined ruler dnd universe if you want to follow along my shitposting for that) (i already started shitposting for runaway ruler again, so check it out. I WILL WRITE LORE FOR EACH ARC DONT WORRY IM JUST BARELY GETTING STARTED ON THE SECOND ARC SINCE ITS VERY LONG)
500 notes - animation gift. i'm making a little valentine's gift for my spouses, and it's gonna be 1:34 seconds long... I need motivation to actually animate lmao. (i'll do bits and pieces throughout the week. don't worry, i plan to figure this out [i haven't animated in months, and even then i barely scratched the animation surface])
1000 notes - script memorization. i uh... need to memorize my silly little script for a production coming up in a month. im performing in front of kids so like... the script's pretty short and easy. im the antagonist in my cast >:]. (sick, let's go. i love myself some memorization.)
2000 notes - chest binder shopping. i'll ask my parents if i can get a chest binder. ive been meaning to get one for myself for some time now. im getting desperate for one. (i suppose i'll ask today or tomorrow... or over the weekend- that's when most of the shopping happens, anyways.)
3000 notes - leaving the closet. i'll come out to the rest of my family that i'm trans, aromantic, all the nine yards about my lgbtq+ identities. i'll definitely have to schedule a good day to do that. (HELLO??? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?? OKAY FINE I'LL FIGURE OUT A DAY. I'LL COME BACK TO YOU WITH THAT-)
4000 notes - researching possible colleges across my state and outside my state. because i wanna get out of here.
5000 notes - order a suit. preferably black or purple. because i need more gender affirming clothes in the formal department.
EDIT: do however many notes you want. i know i said 10 notes per person earlier, but like... go wild i guess
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Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆


Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.
"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.
Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3
Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.
Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.
Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.
Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3
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another thing fantasy writers should keep track of is how much of their worldbuilding is aesthetic-based. it's not unlike the sci-fi hardness scale, which measures how closely a story holds to known, real principles of science. The Martian is extremely hard sci-fi, with nearly every detail being grounded in realistic fact as we know it; Star Trek is extremely soft sci-fi, with a vaguely plausible "space travel and no resource scarcity" premise used as a foundation for the wildest ideas the writers' room could come up with. and much as Star Trek fuckin rules, there's nothing wrong with aesthetic-based fantasy worldbuilding!
(sidenote we're not calling this 'soft fantasy' bc there's already a hard/soft divide in fantasy: hard magic follows consistent rules, like "earthbenders can always and only bend earth", and soft magic follows vague rules that often just ~feel right~, like the Force. this frankly kinda maps, but I'm not talking about just the magic, I'm talking about the worldbuilding as a whole.
actually for the purposes of this post we're calling it grounded vs airy fantasy, bc that's succinct and sounds cool.)
a great example of grounded fantasy is Dungeon Meshi: the dungeon ecosystem is meticulously thought out, the plot is driven by the very realistic need to eat well while adventuring, the story touches on both social and psychological effects of the whole 'no one dies forever down here' situation, the list goes on. the worldbuilding wants to be engaged with on a mechanical level and it rewards that engagement.
deliberately airy fantasy is less common, because in a funny way it's much harder to do. people tend to like explanations. it takes skill to pull off "the world is this way because I said so." Narnia manages: these kids fall into a magic world through the back of a wardrobe, befriend talking beavers who drink tea, get weapons from Santa Claus, dance with Bacchus and his maenads, and sail to the edge of the world, without ever breaking suspension of disbelief. it works because every new thing that happens fits the vibes. it's all just vibes! engaging with the worldbuilding on a mechanical level wouldn't just be futile, it'd be missing the point entirely.
the reason I started off calling this aesthetic-based is that an airy story will usually lean hard on an existing aesthetic, ideally one that's widely known by the target audience. Lewis was drawing on fables, fairy tales, myths, children's stories, and the vague idea of ~medieval europe~ that is to this day our most generic fantasy setting. when a prince falls in love with a fallen star, when there are giants who welcome lost children warmly and fatten them up for the feast, it all fits because these are things we'd expect to find in this story. none of this jars against what we've already seen.
and the point of it is to be wondrous and whimsical, to set the tone for the story Lewis wants to tell. and it does a great job! the airy worldbuilding serves the purposes of the story, and it's no less elegant than Ryōko Kui's elaborately grounded dungeon. neither kind of worldbuilding is better than the other.
however.
you do have to know which one you're doing.
the whole reason I'm writing this is that I saw yet another long, entertaining post dragging GRRM for absolute filth. asoiaf is a fun one because on some axes it's pretty grounded (political fuck-around-and-find-out, rumors spread farther than fact, fastest way to lose a war is to let your people starve, etc), but on others it's entirely airy (some people have magic Just Cause, the various peoples are each based on an aesthetic/stereotype/cliché with no real thought to how they influence each other as neighbors, the super-long seasons have no effect on ecology, etc).
and again! none of this is actually bad! (well ok some of those stereotypes are quite bigoted. but other than that this isn't bad.) there's nothing wrong with the season thing being there to highlight how the nobles are focused on short-sighted wars for power instead of storing up resources for the extremely dangerous and inevitable winter, that's a nice allegory, and the looming threat of many harsh years set the narrative tone. and you can always mix and match airy and grounded worldbuilding – everyone does it, frankly it's a necessity, because sooner or later the answer to every worldbuilding question is "because the author wanted it to be that way." the only completely grounded writing is nonfiction.
the problem is when you pretend that your entirely airy worldbuilding is actually super duper grounded. like, for instance, claiming that your vibes-based depiction of Medieval Europe (Gritty Edition) is completely historical, and then never even showing anyone spinning. or sniffing dismissively at Tolkien for not detailing Aragorn's tax policy, and then never addressing how a pre-industrial grain-based agricultural society is going years without harvesting any crops. (stored grain goes bad! you can't even mouse-proof your silos, how are you going to deal with mold?) and the list goes on.
the man went up on national television and invited us to engage with his worldbuilding mechanically, and then if you actually do that, it shatters like spun sugar under the pressure. doesn't he realize that's not the part of the story that's load-bearing! he should've directed our focus to the political machinations and extensive trope deconstruction, not the handwavey bit.
point is, as a fantasy writer there will always be some amount of your worldbuilding that boils down to 'because I said so,' and there's nothing wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with making that your whole thing – airy worldbuilding can be beautiful and inspiring. but you have to be aware of what you're doing, because if you ask your readers to engage with the worldbuilding in gritty mechanical detail, you had better have some actual mechanics to show them.
#finx rambles#worldbuilding#for writers#honestly I quite liked the asoiaf books I read#it's a well-constructed story! it's a well-constructed world too on its own merits#none of this stuff about grain and spinning is actually important to the story#the problem is that grrm himself seems to just. not realize this#and goes about blithely insisting he's created an extraordinarily realistic fantasy world where all the tax policies make sense#he has not!#he has invited people to tear his creation apart if they can and! it turns out! they absolutely can!#this shit's got no tensile strength! it's made of glue and popsicle sticks!#you're not supposed to put weight on it
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