#I just need to know if anyone else has experienced this as a possible sign of ocd

[dusk-the-cat]

I’ve recently heard of Moral OCD and I feel like the applies to me (As in: I have most of the signs + other ocd symptoms) but I genuinely don’t know if me feeling incredibly guilty over (what would be to most people) minor things is a realization of me being a bad person or if it’s irrational.

[monstersholygrail]

Yandere!Work Colleague

Male Yandere x Fem!Reader ||

Your colleague forms a new crush on you once you tell him you like his special coffee and now he won’t stop giving you more. He’ll give you everything

Yandere!Work Colleague tries to act normal but is way too shy to ask out his office crush. He’s seen them around the office, always looking so confident. But he can never get up the nerve to talk to them, ask them out. Even when working on a project with them, the most he’ll say is, “Here’s y-your tea— your coffee, I mean!” And hand it to them before scurrying off. Of course making sure to put his ‘special cream’ into the drink beforehand.

But only now as he heads back to the tray of drinks, his brows furrow, not seeing your drink in the tray. He swore he had just moved it a second ago. His face drops as he realizes there must’ve been a mix-up. He whirls around only to watch in horror as you drink the coffee with his personal ingredient in it.

He swears he’s not breathing as you take a few long gulps. He hopes to every God there is that you won’t notice anything off about it. Sweat dots at his brow as you place the coffee down and lick your lips in a way that curiously has his cock twitching.

“Hmm. This is better than usual, thanks,” you comment, so casually, as if you hadn’t just turned his entire world upside down.

Everything was different now, he saw everything in a new and shiny bright light. And all those lights always came back to you. His whole world now revolving around you. The way you talked to him so effortlessly, smiled at him, acknowledged him. He’d never experienced anything like it before. Not from his old office crush or anyone. You were… special.

Since that day he’s been chasing after you like a dog with a bone. Always offering to carry your stacks of paperwork from meetings to your desk. He makes sure to linger so that everyone in the office will gossip and wonder if you two are together. If he’s asked he’ll say yes, if only to live in the possibility that one day you will be.

He does everything he can for you during group assignments. Getting done work you might’ve not gotten too. You were tired and you needed your sleep. And he just so happened to glance at your computer as you were signing in one day. So signing in himself to get some work done for you was simply just a kind thing to do from one colleague to another. Of course he’d never do it for anyone else besides you. No matter how much his coworkers complained about all he does for you around the office.

Most of all though, he still always makes sure to bring you your morning coffee every day. The way your face lights up at the sight of him with the cup, your smiles and happiness just for him. No one else would dare, they know by now you’re basically his. Besides… no one else can make it like him. You’ve said so yourself.

He makes sure every morning to prepare his special ingredient with extra care. Images of you flashing across his mind as he slowly pumps his cock. Imagining how you’d look all pretty and split open on his length. How you’d call out his name and ask why he didn’t do this sooner. Squeezing his cock and pretending it’s you milking him for all your worth.

When he finally cums straight into your coffee he fantasizes it’s his thick ropes of cum shooting straight into your womb. A low raspy groan rips from his throat, his hips jerking as he just keeps coming to the thought of you. The coffee is nearly overflowing by the time he’s done.

He knows you’ll be grateful for the extra bit of drink, your lips pulled into a bright smile. He wonders how bright it would look wrapped around his length and he shudders as he hands it to you.

If he didn’t have to get to his desk, he’d watch you drink every last drop of it. Relishing in the fact that for now, at least, he’s inside of you in one way. Knowing soon he’ll be inside you in every way humanly possible.

But for now he’s content to simply bring you your coffee every morning and anything else you need handled. He’ll gladly take care of you in any way possible. Someday he’ll take care of you in every way. And nobody will be able to stop him.

[criminalamnesia]

Hey man, idk if your goal was to make people cry with that Jack Abbot fic but if it was mission accomplished! *finger guns out of the room while sobbing*

10/10 fic would definitely recommend to anyone needing a satisfying story that ends with you crying

I honestly didn’t expect it to get so much love!!! im just obsessed with the Pitt rn and god that man… I need him….

anyways here’s part 2 to this!!

part 3 here!

jack doesn’t know what’s going on.

ellis came into the er with a gurney, screaming for robby, and then (if even possible) things in the ED got worse.

people scrambling, muffled sobs from nurses and doctors alike as they pass by whoever robby is currently working on. jack’s brows are furrowed, his eyes squinting to try and get a look across the room, but no dice. he starts to think maybe it’s jake— and fuck if it is.

“dr. abbot,” samira breathes beside him from where she’s hunched over their patient. another red, blood covering their torso— a gunshot wound through the upper chest. collapsed lung, struggling to breathe, struggling to live.

(like someone else across the room. but he doesn’t know that.)

“you’re good, mohan. keep going,” he says, voice even as he glances down at the resident’s work. she doesn’t need him here, really. she was one of the best residents on the floor— next to you, of course.

speaking of you— where were you? even if you’d been sleeping during dana’s slew of calls, he’d figure you’d have cracked an eye open by now. you always complained you tossed and turned at night (he had offered to remedy that in various ways.)

“done,” mohan exhales with a grin as jack’s fingers find the patients carotid, pressing for a pulse. it’s stronger than it was before mohan went to work.

“sound work,” he says, nodding down at her. her grin widens as she straightens up.

“great teacher.”

jack chuckles as he waves dr. walsh over. samira starts to walk away, but before he can even register what he’s doing, he’s got a light grip on her forearm. she glances over at him, obviously confused, head cocked to the side as chaos continues around them.

“check on robby, yeah? make sure that’s not jake he’s got.”

samira nods and leaves his grasp, weaving through gurneys and wheelchairs to reach the other attending.

“got one for me?” walsh has finally made her way over, her eyes assessing the stabilizing patient before her.

“yeah, this one’s good for upstairs,” he responds, eyes glancing once again to robby before santos starts yelling for an attending.

“better go see what she wants before she kills someone,” walsh says, smug grin adorning her lips as she grabs the gurney’s handles. “garcia says that one’s trouble.”

“yeah, yeah. don’t you have someone to cut into?”

“oh my god!”

even with all the clamor in the room, samira’s gasp cuts over the noise loud and clear. abbot’s head shoots up, watching as the resident’s hands fly over her mouth. dana hurries over, a hand landing on the young woman’s shoulder as she pulls her to the side.

“dr. abbot, we need you over at the yellows—” santos is saying as she catches her breath in front of him, her eyes flitting from the scene across the room and back to the attending beside her.

“abbot!” shen calls as he pushes a gurney through the bay doors “got another red!”

“are they dying, santos?” he asks, already starting towards shen.

“well, not actively—”

“get someone else.”

he hears her faint huff behind him, but it’s forgotten as soon as he gets his eyes on his next patient.

across the room, robby is sweating.

it’s awful, profuse, and he feels like he can’t catch his breath. there’s a ringing in his ears.

he’s never experienced drowning, but he imagines it feels a lot like this.

“c’mon,” he mutters, his eyes watching your face, searching for a sign that you were coming back.

your eyes were closed. your skin was pale from blood loss.

your heart had stopped beating.

“robby,” dana says, her voice as soft as it can be as she rests a hand on his shoulder.

“no,” he says, and he doesn’t need to say anything else. he’s tired. his body aches from the past twelve hours, but he can’t stop. this is you. he cannot stop.

somewhere in his brain, he realizes that this is not working. he’s been doing cpr since he lost your pulse, and it is not working. the tube shoved down your throat is helping you breathe. blood is still trickling from your gunshot wound.

your heart is still not beating.

this is not working.

samira is crying quietly behind him. princess has tears on her cheeks from where she stands beside your head, squeezing the bag attached to your intubation tube.

he can’t stop. one, two, three, four. one, two, three, four. up, down. up, down.

he presses down so hard he cracks your ribs. he cannot breathe. he can’t think. he can’t, he can’t—

“way past trauma protocol over there, brother.”

everything comes crashing down around him at the sound of jack’s voice carrying across the room.

he wants to laugh, because doesn’t jack know who he’s working on?

would he still be saying that if he was looking down at your pale face, your bloodstained skin?

robby ignores him. shakes his head as if shaking off the words. he can’t be done with this, he can’t give up on you. he can’t, he can’t, he can’t.

“we use blood on the ones that are gonna make it.”

jack again. robby wants to scream and laugh and cry. he’s turning hysterical, he knows it. this fucking day.

adamson. jake. abbot. you.

he can’t catch a goddamn break and it’s all weighing on him, and he’s about to lose his best friend and his best student and—

a hand on his shoulder. a firm hold, squeezing his skin so hard it almost hurts.

“robby,” it’s dana again. “you gotta let her go.”

he can hear the crack in the steely charge nurse’s tone, and that’s what really breaks him.

“fuck,” he breathes, and tears are clouding his vision. “fuck.”

dana’s hands land on top of his still moving ones. the ones that are physically beating the heart that lies dormant in your chest. she digs her nails into his skin, and that breaks him from his trance, and he finally stops.

someone sobs nearby. he doesn’t look up to see who.

he announces time of death. marks it on the card tied to your wrist.

princess removes the bag from your tube. dana pulls a blanket over your body, tucking it over your head as carefully as she can.

without a word, she and robby wheel you toward the makeshift morgue. you do not deserve to join the other bodies in there. you do not deserve to die.

dana leaves the room before him, and as soon as the door shuts behind her, he sinks to the ground.

“shit,” he cries, shaking hands reaching up to cover his eyes before scrubbing over his face. his trauma gown is covered in blood— some of it yours— and he tears at the thing as he sobs.

“fuck, fuck,” he can’t breathe. adamson, you. langdon and his drugs. jack and his trust. everything, all of it, is overwhelming. a wave too big to jump over or swim under. a current so strong it’s pulling him out to sea before he even knows he’s in the water.

“dr. robby?”

he can’t. his eyes are clenched shut, his hands grasping the chain around his neck. he mutters a prayer his grandmother taught him when he was a kid.

“dr. robby,” the voice calls again, and robby recoils as a hand grazes his shoulder, his eyes shooting open as he pushes the offender away.

whitaker looks distraught, a frown forming on his lips as he stands over the older man.

“we need you out there,” the intern says, his words firm. “you gotta get up.”

and robby wants to smack the kid, but as he finally starts to take deep breaths again. whitaker holds out a hand. robby (after a moment of contemplation) takes it.

and then he promptly shoves whitaker away as soon as he’s on his feet.

the intern nods, and without another word, leaves the room.

robby takes a breath, then another. he reaches for the door handle, but stops just short of turning it. he turns, his eyes landing on your gurney and the sheet hiding your body.

“im sorry,” he says. it is such a guttural and profound feeling, this sadness that overtakes him as he says those words.

but the ED needs him.

so he steps back into the chaos.

[puppys-tiny-space]

My (possibly) controversial opinions

Note that none of this is supposed to shame anyone these are just things that kind of bother me/I want to talk about but don't feel like making individual posts about! I am always open to discussions and other people sharing their opinions as long as you do it respectfully. Don't read when regressed as I talk about grown up topics as well. <3 :D 🐾

This community normalizes/encourages overconsumption way too much and we should all try to limit that for the environment and our mental health 🧃

A lot of the drama that occurs is unnecessary and people need to learn to clear things in private discussions instead of public call outs and such 🐾

Calling someone's content sexual because you don't agree with how they post/dress/embrace their personal healing is messed up and you are the one sexualizing them 🦕

Adults should not be caregiving for minors if there are larger age gaps (I don't mean 17 & 19 and such) with very rare exceptions 🍼

We as a community need to be mindful if we choose to utilize things like formula. Don't purchase it if you are locally experiencing a shortage 🦝

If you choose to regress in public be mindful of the people around. Your regression might not be sexual but strangers don't know that and their comfort is equally as important 🧃

While copying (whether it be art or posts) does happen be careful of how quickly you accuse someone of this, talk to them before making a call out or similar 🐾

You do not have to tolerate other people's political options if their "opinions" are against anyone's human rights, don't be shy to block them but don't be unnecessarily cruel if you choose to confront them 🦕

Calming you are anti kink and then purchasing from kink shops is hypocritical and weird. Mind your business and let people do their own thing as long as it's safe and consensual 🍼

Kink =/= sexual and if you choose to participate in any form of discourse besides stating your personal boundaries you should educate yourself fully before being hateful towards whole groups of people 🦝

Don't judge people by the labels they use, not everyone has found regression in the same way. If people are open educate them but don't police someone else's choices 🧃

Adults can have whole life's outside of their regression including being a part of kink in any way they choose and they do not need to disclose that on unrelated accounts 🐾

Being on the Internet beyond watching YouTube is not safe to do while you are fully regressed and should not be encouraged (I don't mean texting ppl I mean scrolling on social media) 🦕

Regression is not always safe for everyone and we need to talk about warning signs of unhealthy regression as a community to keep each other safe 🍼

Regressors that struggle with hypersexuality and intrusive thoughts during regression are just as valid as those who don't and deserve compassion not shame 🦝

[happiest-hotch]

OMG please write about married!Hotch x reader going to a club tearing it up on the dance floor for a BAU night out, and an older Jack happens to be there maybe with his girlfriend and he’s mortified seeing his parents really getting down?

i would dance all over this man

Nights out with the BAU have never gotten less fun. Even as team members changed and through the years you and Aaron were away from the team, first in WITSEC then just to take a break. The plan formulated during your months together in hiding had been to wait until Jack was at college before going back to work

Hanging out at the regular bar was a sign nothing had changed in a decade.

After finishing probably the roughest case you've experienced since you rejoined the team, a team night out was needed, so you happily join Penelope in her mission to drag everyone out.

These days, Aaron doesn't need much convincing. He's more casual after WITSEC, and letting loose a little around the team isn't the worst thing in the world. It probably helps that he's not the boss anymore, and your unit chief also isn't opposed to letting her hair down.

He's only a few drinks in when you're able to convince him to come and dance. Maybe there's some using how much he loves you, but he doesn't protest.

It's hot and sweaty on the dance floor, and you're in a less-than-professional amount of clothing, dancing up on your husband like you're 24.

Aaron keeps his hands firmly on your hips, swaying to the music with you, but what's most sinful is his lips against your neck, very visible to everyone else, and the hard-on in his pants which thankfully remains unnoticed by anyone who's not pressed as hard against him as you are.

Penelope leans over to speak to you, or yell, thanks to how loud the bass is. "He's going to pull a muscle if he keeps dancing like that!" She jokes.

You giggle as you let him spin you around so you're face to face. It's gotten much more heated, and there's no doubt you're grinding provocatively against each other.

You hold his strong forearms, leaning up to whisper something downright filthy in his ear, but he talks first. "Jack."

You chuckle, grimacing. "That's not my idea of dirty talk."

"No." He shakes his head before nodding across the room. "Jack's here."

You pull away from your husband quickly, following his glance across the room before you catch his son. "What's Jack doing here?" You ask in shock. It's definitely a compromising position to be caught in with his dad.

"I don't know," Aaron says, taking hold of your hand and pulling you away from the dance floor and towards his son.

You briefly wonder if it's more or less awkward to acknowledge that he's seen you all over each other. Ignoring it might mean you can possibly look Jack in the eyes again at some point in the next ten years.

There's a girl next to him and you guess it's who he had said he was bringing home to meet you and Aaron during summer vacation. Her dress is probably not what she was expecting to be wearing during a round of meet-the-parents.

"That was awful." Jack deadpans, exactly like his father. "Seriously, I'm not sure how I'm going to burn that out of my memory."

"What are you doing here?" Aaron asks, ignoring the comments that you're struggling not to laugh at.

"Thought you guys were still on a case," Jack explains. "I didn't think I'd catch you dry-humping in a club."

You let out a chuckle while Aaron shakes his head. "Don't say that." He scolds weakly.

"I am so sorry you had to meet them like this." Jack turns to the girl next to him and says.

You offer out your hand to shake hers. "I'm Y/n, and I promise we're not always like this."

Aaron shakes her hand as well, introducing himself. "Yeah, usually our son has far better manners and introduces us to people."

"Usually, my parents aren't engaging in foreplay in the club." Jack teases you both.

You know how to get him back, and you click your tongue. "You don't know that."

It makes both boys' eyes widen while Jack's girlfriend laughs slightly, and the tension is loosened.

"Should we not mention this tomorrow?" She offers, speaking more confidently now that she can read the situation as humorous.

"Deal." You agree for both you and Aaron. "We should go."

"Home to sleep." Jack finishes the sentence for you, raising his eyebrows like a parent would do to their child, rather than the other way around.

Aaron does something you don't expect, frowning. "No promises."

[luckycharms1701]

Just read Mikey’s mating season, would write one for Raphael?

of course i will, anything for our boy in red! i will say that bay raph in particular is hard for me to write, so i hope this is decent

again, it's a lil spicyyy 🌶️ reader beware!

The first time it's brought up, Raph absolutely refuses to allow you to spend his season with him. Won't even have the conversation. Not even Mikey can convince him to just talk to you. It takes a literal act of God to force him into it- stranded in your apartment together while a late snowstorm rages, just as his season is starting.

Raph is naturally afraid that he will hurt you. But what he doesn't tell you is that he is afraid of the vulnerability. Raph's season is a highly emotional time for this passionate guy. He knows that he'll be more open- generally the first sign that his season is starting is when he admits something to one of his brothers that he doesn't actually want them to know. So forced into close quarters with you, alone- he's afraid of what he'll say, afraid that the depths of his feelings will drive you off.

He is shocked that when the time comes, his anger doesn't overwhelm him the way it normally does. Instead, it is his love for you that takes over. He finds himself feeling incredibly affectionate. He even chirps for you. (Once it's over he's mortified and you have to swear that you'll never tell anyone ever). The sadness he associates with this time? Again, all gone, because you're here.

The cuddling is real and it is. Frequent. Raph doesn't like to let you go and will often carry you around if you need to move from the bed. But good luck getting him to agree to let you leave the bed. He likes you there and he does not want you to leave. Surely he can go get whatever you need? You belong in his arms, as far as he is concerned.

So, Raph. Once you get him on board, he has rules. These are non-negotiable, because not following them could possibly result in him hurting you and that Will Not Happen. The biggest rule is that you cannot tease him. Teasing riles him up like nothing else and if he loses control and hurts you... no. It Won't Happen. He'll lock himself in a different room and take care of himself before he'll let you break one of his rules.

However, that doesn't mean that it's not a good time for both of you. It's hard at first, because Raph is so afraid to let go, but once he does? Once all that passion is set free and focused on you? It is absolutely some of the most intense lovemaking you've ever experienced in your life. And that's what it is- lovemaking.

All of Raph's affection and tender feelings take over, and he is intense but so gentle at the same time. When it's not mating season, he can be rough sometimes, although never more than you can handle. Not so during mating season. Even when he's pounding into you, driving you wild as you writhe under him, he doesn't hurt you. The only bruises you come out with are in the shape of his hands on your hips.

He is surprisingly quiet when he fucks you. Everything in him is so focused on you that he barely notices his own pleasure. He does chirp a lot, and when it happens the churring practically vibrates the whole bed. He prefers to draw sounds out of you instead. There is a certain dark chuckle he gives that warns you that you are about to get loud. He loves to quiet down so he can catch the nearly silent gasp that comes out of you when his fingers hit that spot deep in you.

He becomes an anxious mother hen when it's over. He hovers. It's a little maddening but he needs you to indulge. He needs to be able to make sure that you're okay, that he didn't hurt you. He is of course worried for no reason, you're fine. But he's still a little cuddly, so you enjoy indulging him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic

[iamnmbr3]

Drarry fanfic can stir away from canon all it wants, fanfic is for fun. But I am really puzzled by the current trend to make it seem like Draco understood Harry. I have never read any fanfic that addresses this; Draco knows nothing about Harry and doesn't understand him at all. Harry understand Draco, for him Draco is predictable and an open book. But like, people forget that Draco hasn't read the books or Harry's inner thoughts to get him.

Yet, you still have people trying to change canon itself and make the relationship equal and mutual. Like, Draco doesn't know about Harry's hatred for fame, doesn't know about Sirius, doesn't know about Harry's relationship with Dumbledore. He doesn't know about Harry's childhood. Most of Harry's significant events in life, Draco know nothing about them .

With all of this, the Drarry fandom acts like Draco gets Harry more than anyone else. And even some fics( which is fine for fics, don't get me wrong) go as far as making Draco teach Harry about how Harry is ought to feel regarding Dumbledore and tell Harry how Dumbledore manipulated him. And often , Harry is shocked to understand a relationship that he experienced being explained by Draco, and acknowledge Draco to be correct. And it is like? Harry already understand Dumbledore manipulations bcs he lived them but he still chose to forgive.

My idea is, Draco doesn't know Harry at all, like zero knowledge. He is just like Snape, sees Harry as a version he created in his mind. So, it is just annoying that people try to rewrite canon just to enjoy their fics. Enjoy them! No need to act like Draco and Harry understood each other equally.

This is not an attack at you, I just wanted to see your opinion about this since I enjoy your blog.

Personally I actually disagree with most of this. I think the really striking thing about Draco and Harry, which for me makes drarry not just very compelling but also very accidentally canon, is that they are both shown to know a lot about each other and to really understand each other...despite not really having a good reason to. They aren't friends but they watch each other so carefully and just get each other.

Now, because Draco and Harry have a fraught (to say the least) relationship, a lot of Draco's deep understanding of Harry is exemplified by the ways that he antagonizes Harry or criticizes him. So for example, you say that Draco doesn't know about Harry's hatred of his fame. But that's not true. He does know...and he uses that knowledge against Harry. Take, for instance, the bit in book 2 when Colin asks Harry for a signed photo in book 2 and Draco does this:

Draco is not doing this because he thinks he's helping Harry to live his dreams. He's doing it because Harry hates his fame and hates being in the spotlight...and Draco knows it. (Despite also being jealous of Harry's fame). I mean look at this bit that takes place a little later in the same scene:

Draco knows exactly what he did. Which is FASCINATING because most people don't realize Harry doesn't enjoy his fame. Even Ron doesn't fully grasp it till book 4 (and imho Ginny never really gets it) but Draco, who isn't even Harry's friend, sees it and understands it.

Also, speaking of book 2, how about the way Draco immediately knows Harry couldn't possibly be the Heir of Slytherin or behind the attacks despite the fact that he literally saw Harry speak parseltongue right in front of him? As a result of that incident, most of the school thinks Harry's guilty. The only ones who don't suspect him even a little are Harry's close friends...and Draco. Draco not only immediately is like 'nope Harry would never do that' (even tho he's mad about it bc he wishes Harry WAS a blood supremacist) but he also looks annoyed every time he sees people saying that it's Harry...which anyone who has ever experienced everyone mischaracterizing their blorbo will understand.

And there's so many examples like that throughout the books. Draco always is so attuned to who Harry is and what he feels and wants. He usually uses that ability to push Harry's buttons but it's incontrovertible fact that he knows him.

Also, regarding your statement that Draco doesn't know about Sirius I'm not sure what you're getting at. Draco knows about Sirius's connection to Harry before Harry does. He's the one who brings it up to Harry in book 3. And later in book 5, presumably due to being privy to Death Eater intelligence, he knows that Sirius is important to Harry and tells Harry that Sirius was spotted on the platform in his animagus form (which actually helps keep Sirius safe - and honestly I could do a whole other post on Draco's motivations in this scene).

So yeah. Draco knows a lot about what's going on with Harry and about Harry's priorities. I do agree he doesn't know that much about the specifics of Harry's relationship with Dumbledore and would be unlikely to have an extremely critical view of Dumbledore, but that's not something I've seen in the drarry fics I've read.

[sematarygirls]

💐 with Sonny pleasee if you haven't done it yet. With this quote:

☕️ ⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆ ─── sonny believes that you are his destiny

   You had known Sonny for a very long time, picked up on his little quirks and habits. You could read him better than anyone else, and right now, you could tell that something was weighing on his mind. Sitting across from him in the diner that you two had frequented often to catch up and talk when you had particularly busy weeks and couldn't make time for each other, you noted the distinct furrow in his brow and the way that he kept drawing in a sharp breath, his lips kept parting ever so slightly and then closing again like he was going to say something but thought better of it.

"You know," he said after a long pause, "I don’t really believe in coincidences." He glanced down, his pointer finger tracing the rim of his coffee cup, seemingly mulling over his words and deciding what to say before he said it. "I mean, every day, I see how things happen, one tiny choice leading to another." He glanced back up at you, a vulnerability in his eyes that made your heart flutter. "Sometimes, it makes me think that maybe all of this… maybe everything that happens is always leading us somewhere."

"Like... fate?" You asked softly, your brows furrowing as you processed his words. You didn't really peg him for the type of guy to believe that everything happened for a reason.

"I know it sounds crazy," he added, feeling a little silly, but the words kept spilling out of him before he could stop them, like he's been holding it in for a long time and just needed to get it out. "But I feel like I’ve known you long before I actually did. Like everything that's happened has happened just so I could sit here, across from you."

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, hanging onto every syllable. There was something so romantic, so utterly raw and exposed about the way he was baring his soul to you. "Do you really believe that?" You questioned him quietly, your grip on your own coffee cup tightening as the warmth seeped through the ceramic onto your skin.

He laughed nervously, running his hand through his hair in that familiar, endearing way. Your eyes tracked his movement momentarily before snapping back to his face, searching for any signs of insincerity, but you knew Sonny. He was anything but insincere. "I never really thought about it much before, but..." he trailed off, his gaze sliding away to look around the small diner.

Everything around you—the sounds of dishes clattering, silverware scraping against porcelain, the enthusiastic chatter of people talking with their families and friends—it all seemed to fade into the background as you hung on his every word, staring intently at him as if urging him to continue.

"It’s like… all my life, I’ve been chasing something. Justice, maybe. A purpose." He stopped briefly, struggling to vocalize the swarm of emotions and feelings and thoughts that he was experiencing in that moment. "And then, you show up, and it’s like suddenly, things make sense. Like maybe.... maybe I was always meant to find you, no matter what."

You felt a warmth spread through you, a relief for an ache you didn't even know you had. All the nights you'd spent with him, laughing and talking, his comfort and presence seeping into the fabric of your life like he belonged there, like he'd always been there. You didn't realize until this moment, until he had taken the first step, that you were unfathomably in love with him.

"I think... I think I feel the same way. That maybe, somehow, we were meant to be... together," you said hesitantly. There were definitely romantic undertones to his whole speech, and you were hoping he meant it that way, but there was always the possibility that Sonny, the sweet and sometimes oblivious man that he was, had just been trying to explain his gratitude for your friendship.

The furrow in Sonny's brows softened, relief flooding him at your words. You had been silent for such a long moment that he thought he said something wrong, ruined the friendship that you two shared by attempting to make it something more. "Yeah?" He asked gently, seeking that little bit of conformation as he offered his hand to you.

"Yeah," you nodded, a warm smile tugging at your lips as you placed your hand in his. And in that moment, you two just stared at each other, sharing an understanding that didn't require the spoken word. You were meant to be here. You were meant to be with him and him with you.

                                              ( 💌 )

[rooniper]

The inevitable Ralph Lore Masterpost

Here it comes. After my second re-read and a week of talking about this fictional cringefail tragic girl dad to anyone who would listen, here it finally is, because I felt a need to write all of this down for future reference and also because I am very close to exploding at any given second of the day.

Also: do keep in mind some of this is my personal speculation/theories/ramblings and probably not canon, but I did try to stick to just the book as much as possible. This is not a coherent essay. Really, it’s a word vomit because I can’t stop thinking about the funny Phone Man. I still probably missed some things, feel free to chime in in the replies, might make a Part 2 unpacking some of the lore/non-Ralph related bits in the future who knows.

Anyways, in no particular order (AND OBVIOUSLY; SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT):

Pre-Freddy’s Era Details I Couldn’t Fit Anywhere Else (Or: Upbringing, College and some Coppelia’s Mom Speculation)

There’s not much info about Ralph’s childhood from what I could gather, except two things: he was bullied in school to the point where he had to hide in a locked bathroom stall to get away from his classmates, and his father was a major a-hole who had extremely high expectations for him and also used to scare him out of wanting to play hide-and-seek with him which. Goddamn. The quote “all your life you’ve gotten used to not pushing buttons” really, really doesn’t help the horrible parents allegations. So yeah the man has daddy issues, jot that down.

Expanding on the previous point: a lot of his parenting of Coppelia seems to be directly influenced by his own upbringing. The paragraph-long tangent about how he’s purposefully awful at hide-and-seek because he never wants Pel to feel as scared as he did is an obvious example, but he also brings her gifts from work pretty much constantly (and sidenote: he thinks of taking things from his job that he never breaks the rules at to bring to her all the goddamn time, while being actively hunted by murderous animatronics. That’s so goddamn wholesome I’m sorry even when he’s scared out of his mind he’s constantly thinking of her). He never puts her down the way it’s implied he was put down as a child, he seems really supportive of her hobbies by the way he talks about her reading. I have more to say about his parenting skills, but the fact that he’s terrified of becoming like his own father/parents seems to be a giant part of them.

He’s a college dropout who majored in psychology, aiming to specialize in child psychology, which makes so much sense but also I find incredibly ironic considering he later exhibits very VERY obvious signs of what’s probably PTSD and doesn’t clock it at all. But that is also going to be its separate point, put a pin in that.

It’s not just implied, but pretty explicitly stated by Ralph himself that he’s a massive overachiever. He was probably pretty academically successful in college, considering he mentions it was a surprise to most people that he’d drop out to get into security work. It’s pretty strongly implied this was mostly because he was pressured into succeeding by his parents. My man has that helicopter parents burnout syndrome, and escaped it by going into a job where he could still interact with kids like he wanted to as a psychologist but actually be happy, and that means a lot to me actually.

(Very important sidenote, because I don’t know where else to put this: the fact that his real dream job is to make children’s toys is just so real to me, especially as someone who’s also experienced academic burnout. It makes so much sense for him to want to do something with his hands where he can create something tangible after being pushed into being traditionally ‘successful’ in academia by his environment. Also put a pin in this as well because I have another point to make about the whole toymaker thing)

He seems to be at least low-contact with his family, which is understandable from what we know about his father - I’d say it’s likely he even cut contact completely after dropping out of college. The fact that he never mentions his parents as a possibility when he talks about babysitting options, or the fact that he doesn’t even consider them taking care of Coppelia when he is literally about to die seems pretty telling to me. I mean, alternatively, they could both be dead, depending on how old Ralph is, but since Coppelia’s only eleven that seems a bit unlikely.

Coppelia’s mom is a mystery. There is exactly one mention of her in this entire book and it doesn’t come from Ralph, but from Pel, so we know she does in fact exist but that’s about it. When Ralph talks about parenting Coppelia he never mentions her mom, even as far back as when Coppelia was one year old. They probably divorced when Coppelia was really young, and Ralph likely has full custody, since he never mentions Coppelia going to her mother’s for the weekend or anything like that. And that’s all we know.

Freddy’s and Related Tidbits (Or: I Stuffed Everything Related to his Relationship to Fazbear Entertainment in this Section)

He’s worked at Freddy’s for at least eleven years, because he mentions Coppelia being a month old when he already had the job and recorded his first training tape. If FNAF 1 indeed takes place in 1993, that means he was already working at Freddy’s by 1982 and likely earlier. Which, side-tangent, would imply that either Fredbear’s Family Diner was removed enough from Fazbear Entertainment by then for him not to know anything beyond the vague existence about the bite of ‘83, or that FNAF 1 takes place after 1993. But at this point the timeline is confusing enough that who knows.

He’s never moved up to management despite being there for more than a decade, also doesn’t appear to know Henry or William (especially if you believe the whole Dave-is-probably-William theory).

He was employee of the month 22 times. He also likely competed against his murderer ex-boss in disguise for the longest employee of the month award streak which is the best goddamn thing I’ve ever heard.

He’s written some of the rules at Freddy’s. Because of course he has.

He leaves passive-agressive notes to the dayshift guard and also thinks about shoving a ballpoint pen in the cleaning staff’s faces. And also talks about reporting people for slacking off. What I’m trying to say that he’s probably not the most popular of people with the rest of the staff, and doesn’t appear to realize why that could possibly be. Worst enemy of folks who don’t want to take their shitty minimum wage job extremely seriously.

On a related note, he takes his job so seriously oh my god. He does like twenty other jobs each night while the animatronics are trying to kill him. He’s probably the only person still doing reports. Management is very much implied to never read them. He writes them anyway. The fact that he was genuinely called ‘the Phone Guy’ and also was in training videos is also amazing (and also pushes the Trans Phone Guy agenda for anyone who considers Kim from the FNAF movie to be a stand-in for him).

This is specifically night-shift related: While it’s true that his survival instincts are absolutely shot, he is, when pushed, demonstrated to be capable of extreme violence against animatronics, which actually good for him. He kicks Bonnie’s head off. He beats Chica to death with a mop. He shoots Foxy with a watergun and also throws a lightbulb at him. This is not particularly important to anything but it’s extremely important to me.

Anyways, he’s really, really loyal to this company. Like, too loyal. Like, he was very much responsible and instrumental in shutting down rumors and speculation among staff after the bite of ‘87 and likely after the MCI as well too loyal. He’s management’s mouthpiece for their dirty work and that makes me feel a certain way because it’s so obvious he cares a lot about this shitty kids’ restaurant, enough that he’d defend it at all cost even when there’s so much evidence against it. This will come up again when I talk about him gaslighting himself.

This is mostly me speculating on the previous point, but I’m pretty certain a lot of his defending of the company is also a coping mechanism that he uses to grapple with the trauma brought to him by the fact that he’s spent a huge chunk of his life working for a conglomerate that’s gotten people killed. He genuinely insinuates Jeremy was responsible for getting chomped, because he must’ve done something wrong, the animatronics would never attack anyone without reason (right?). When he talks about how the media blew children going missing out of proportion, it seems less like he believes it and more like he doesn’t want to believe it - especially considering he’s only brought Coppelia to Freddy’s once in her life. He never lets her near it. He shuts her down immediately when she talks about working at it. Which, at least to me, demonstrates that on a subconscious level, he knows what he’s saying isn’t true. It’s just easier to say it than face the facts.

And lastly, he’s so clearly and passionately loyal to the Fazbear’s franchize. This fucker genuinely loves working here and is sad to go, even though management treats him like shit. We already knew that, but still, dear god those people could not care less if he lived or died and he STILL takes his night guard duties so goddamn seriously. He’s so clearly really invested in it, he talks about what a magical place Freddy’s used to be for kids, he talks about how much the job means to him, all the while it’s actively trying to kill him, he defends it to the point that it’s actively ridiculous, and in multiple endings he still gets blackmailed, disappeared or worse by the people he’s defending. And- I don’t know. It just makes me really sad. Again, I do believe his over-the-top enthusiasm for his job is probably him compensating for the fact that he doesn’t want to face the incredibly traumatic stuff happening to him, especially because as the week goes on, he gets less and less enthusiastic with every night, and just- Yeah. Fazbear Entertainment doesn’t deserve him.

Characterization, Diction and Things Like That (Or: Everything Else)

Let’s get the more positive stuff in this section out of the way first: we already knew this from the phone calls, but the way this man talks just sends me. “Time to make the donuts” when walking into a shift my favorite of his Phone-Guy-isms, but also unironically saying “oh boy!” and “what rotten luck!” right when you’re about to die is equally important to me.

Kind of related but not really: this man truly is a dad through and through because MY GOD the amount of bad puns and/or stupid references he makes is criminal. The fact that they get him actually killed in some of the endings because he keeps laughing at his own terrible jokes is also great. My favorite examples include thinking “my, what large ears you have” immediately before Foxy mauls him, the Irony Curtain, the how many night watchmen does it take to change a lightbulb, and so on. The fact that he also finds all of this absolutely hilarious means so much to me. Ralph truly is a cringefail girl dad, RIP to him he would’ve loved those awful shirts with puns that were popular with dads going to Disneyland in the 2000s.

Not gonna lie, and I’m not sure if this is just me reading too much into it, but he also reads as at least slightly neurodivergent to me. And I am ready to die on that hill. He doesn’t really seem to be the best at social interaction or with figuring people out, from the way he talks about not being able to tell if his coworkers are only laughing at his jokes to be polite or not and how he doesn’t seem to understand why they would be upset with him shoving minimal errors in their faces. He notices a single hat out of place in one of the Party Rooms and immediately goes to correct it. He makes a point about how much he hates messes and the whole “you need order, you crave order in your life” quote resonated so deeply with me that it’s uncanny. He’s a “stickler for rules”. The fact that he worked at one place for eleven plus years also makes me think he’s probably not the best with change. I could go on. I don’t know, I wouldn’t be able to tell you why, but I just can’t see him as fully neurotypical.

He’s also just a really curious dude, to the point of his curiosity overriding his survival instincts. Which is a horror protagonist trope if I’ve ever seen one. The scene where he lifts up a strange robot cupcake he just found directly to his face with zero hesitation is just. Yeah.

He loves Foxy, which we already knew, but also the fact that he explicitly states that he’s still scared of him and Pirate Cove by association makes me kinda sad. Also, related point, he’s a self-proclaimed fan of pirate stories, so I’m pretty sure that’s where Coppelia gets her taste in books from, but that’s besides the point.

In general, he just really loves the animatronics, too? Like he waves at them after his shift. Like I already mentioned, he talks about how much they mean to him, and how much he loves the fact that they brought joy to kids. It’s kinda sweet.

The most questionable thing about him is the way he. Uh. Talks about guns/cops in a way that kind of makes me remember he was raised in Utah around the 1960s. There are a few specific passages that make me extremely concerned about what his opinion on the second amendment is. But that is luckily left unspoken so I’ll be moving along.

The job stresses him out so much he consumes a packet of raw poptarts because he’s so hungry by the end of it. Which, while iconic, is also very deeply concerning. Which brings me to my biggest point

My god this man has Trauma. So much Trauma. He represses so much. The entirety of the beginning of Night 3 is just him describing that he forgets details about his shifts as soon as he leaves them. He gaslights himself constantly that nothing bad is happening (after Night 1, for example, he calls the entire shift the night before a bad dream and convinces himself he’s just “misinterpreting” events, which is goddamn concerning), but he’s also actively wasting away despite telling himself he’s not (my man looks into the mirror and his only and first comment is that he looks terrible). Not to mention the dissociation. He spaces out when he comes home on two seperate occassions, and loses and entire hour each time without realizing it. God I hope in the endings where he survives he eventually gets therapy.

Coppelia and Life Outside of Work (Or: This Section is Concerningly Short)

This man loves his daughter so goddamn much. So, so much.

No but seriously the interactions between him and Coppelia are so pure and well written and they were my favorite part of the book, somehow, even though I wasn’t originally sold on the concept. The “with what?” “excellent point, I’ve got nothing” kills me still. The scene where Coppelia curls up next to him after he comes home from his shift makes me want to sob. He makes her pancakes and they banter and she test limits but it’s obvious she also loves her dad, and that is- AAAAAA

Back to my bullshit, though: Ralph does kinda read as the type of parent who’d spoil a kid rotten if given the opportunity to do so. At some point Coppelia directly says that he “gets her everything she wants”, and- yeah. This is similar to the point I made previously about him bringing her gifts all the time. She does seem like a good kid, though. He’s just a girl dad to the extent that he’d probably wear a shirt with girl dad written on it, you know?

He’s also really protective of her. And worries. A lot. Not just when he calls home or rushes home to check on her, but also when he talks about being a security guard at her school and whenever he forbids her from ever ever going near Freddy’s. Say what you will about him defending a company to a possibly unethical extent, but he’s not about to endanger his daugher over it, and I respect that.

The only concering thing about him and Coppelia is the fact that Coppelia apparently drew herself stabbing him when she was little. Which is. Well. Not ideal. The fact that he finds this completely normal is very in character, though.

On Coppelia by herself, though: the fact that she ‘tinkers with stuff in the basement’ concerns me. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if after the canon ending, she ends up to be a technician at Freddy’s at some point. Also, the fact that she’s a gamer warms my heart.

Now, on other outside-work activities: I love the implication that my man not only bowls and always pays for dinner, but that he bowls and pays for dinner while dining with his serial killer ex-boss. God, that’s awesome, I love that so much.

Tying back to a point I made previously and also to a point I saw some people make that I really, really resonated with: there are actually a lot of parallels between Henry/William and Ralph, especially concering parenting. I don’t think the fact that his dream to be a toymaker is accidental, either, or the fact that he goes out of his way to point out that he wants to make toys that aren’t at all mechanical. Because even though he’s also a dad trying to make his kid happy with his creations, unlike William and/or Henry, he doesn’t want to make anything bigger than himself, or anything innovative; just wants to make simple things and make a kid’s day better. I don’t know man keeps me up at night, you know?

And, because this is only important to me: he owns a Kit-Cat Clock. This is somehow the most fitting thing I could’ve read about his taste in home decor.

And because I don’t know how else to end this: that’s a wrap! Was this book perfect? Hell no. The Bronwen plotline makes my brain hurt. But was it incredibly fun? Oh hell yes. And now I have a reference point for any future writings I do where Ralph is an active character, so that’s a major bonus. I have many thoughts but not enough time to put all of them down so I’m stopping here, major thanks to @graceandtheidiotsquad for pushing me over the edge and making me actually finish this with a reply lmao. And that’s all! Phone Man please get out of my head now before I go insane.

[maikaartwork]

I read your post about art scam awareness and I think I’m being possibly scammed by an artist that reached out to me and offered me a slot if I have a down payment.

I’m a potential client and I didn’t even know it, I thought it was a free fan art for my fanfic but they want to charge $600 total for a detailed work and based on per character. But it has all the signs you mentioned for artists to watch out for.

Bad or rushed messages, high prices, they don’t seem to really understand my work more like skimmed through it but didn’t read it, and they’re eager to make it deal. And I guess the art is generic. Should I cut them off from communicating before I dig myself too deep in?

Hello, thank you for reaching out!

Ngl, it might go both ways - it might be a scam (I’ll get to why in a moment) but it also might be a desperate person that is looking for work wherever they can because the art community is kinda struggling right now financially, with everything going on in the world.

But let me tell you why I personally would avoid going into business with them and what to look out for when an artist account reaches out to you.

First and foremost: you hesitated to work with them. Your own gut is your best friend. If you don’t vibe with an artist, you should not work with them, simple as that. If you don’t feel they understand what you do, they will not be able to give you art you’ll be happy with. If you think any level of cooperation in the beginning phase is not something you’re comfortable with, be it because of the art style, the general price range (please, PLEASE FOLKS, always be mindful of your finances when it comes to commissioning anyone - spend only what you feel you can afford!!!) or even just their attitude, the cooperation simply will not go well. There will be friction, misunderstandings, general bad taste in your mouth. If a person makes you anxious, simply tell them that they are not what you are looking for for the pieces that you want.

The financial part is kinda… sketchy. True, 600 is a lot, but every artist values their work differently so I don’t want to make an assumption only based on that. What worries me more is that they reached out to you first with such a high quote and were not immediately transparent about it. I don’t know if you advertised a need for an artist, but if you didn’t, that is even more worrisome. If you feel their style doesn’t match the admittedly high price point, don’t bother - I’d like to reiterate the need for good vibes and that goes to the art style, too. I’ve never been on the client part of things, but I, as a person, would never go for something this expensive that I didn’t specifically ask for.

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR IN ACCOUNTS YOU THINK ARE SKETCHY:

Go through their artwork - is it cohesive? Is the art style the same or at least recognizable as the same person’s work? Does the artwork have the artist’s signature? If the answer to any of these is “no”, give benefit of the doubt but be very wary. They might be still figuring themselves out (but then they wouldn’t probably be this expensive) but: There are accounts that steal art, there are accounts that pretend to be someone else and, off to my next red flag:

There are accounts that use AI to generate artwork. Now I could make a whole separate st about AI-generated artwork and I do openly admit that I am extremely against it on many, many levels. But I will only say this: if you don’t want AI art, you can watch out for very specific indicators of AI-generated art: weird anatomy, especially in art that looks like it’s been made by an experienced artist that should know how anatomy and movement should work (wrong amount of fingers, too long bodies, impossible angles, etc), elements blending together, like parts of clothing suddenly blending into the background, extremely inconsistent lighting or linework, mesh of different art styles, especially between background and foreground (where there shouldn’t be any), any sort of writing that doesn’t make sense… These days it’s harder and harder to recognize, especially for non-artists, so don’t feel bad if you have no idea if something is AI or not.

There are weird links in their bio or their bio generally doesn’t make sense. A respectable artist will have ANY sort of info about themselves or what they do in the bio, especially if they do paid commissions. Artists often have links to other social media, to a linkdtree or carrd (small websites that are directories to their other internet places) or shop adresses like etsy, redbubble, artstation, inprint and so on. But if you see http-sketchy-bunch-of-letters-dot-com or http-brand-name-dot-com - please, for the love of forest pixies, do not click it. If their bio says something generic like, dunno, “life is light and joy” and nothing else? That fella is not there to make serious, respectful business. At best they are there casually, at worst - they are auto-generated throwaway accounts

How far back do their posts go? Is it in days, weeks, months or years? Throwaway accounts usually don’t have posts older than a few months, up to half a year at most, as they are set up in bulk for future scamming. Usually the older posts don’t match the newer ones and there are multiple posts on the first week, because those accounts are set up very generically for various types of scams.

If you decide to go down the rabbit hole of checking them further and actually have conversation with them: ask them about the process of commissioning. If they reached out to you with a substantial quote, they probably know what they’re doing, right? So they should have it all figured out, tell you exactly how their process works, not just the money part. The less they want to tell you outside of finances, the less they want to answer your questions, the more chance there is they’re just there for cashgrab. If they’re a scammer, they will not want to waste time on you, they will not answer any in-depth questions or rush through them. Worst that can happen is you’ll take up some time of a scammer that they could otherwise use to scam someone else, to if you’re into that sort of thing, go have your fun ;)))

Ask them why they want to get commissioned by you - they should have some favorite parts of your fics or something that pulled them to you. Or just be honest and open and say - I am looking for work anywhere or - I am a professional artist that is reaching out to people that might be interested in having artwork done. If they’re sketchy or super vague about that answer, if they are making stuff up or trying too hard to seem like they ✨know you✨ - be mindful!!!

So in conclusion: if I were you, I would not work with them. There are too many red flags in my opinion, the biggest one of them is that they made you wonder if you are being scammed. Personally I’d search for someone that knows your fandom, is a member of a community you know or that a friend of yours commissioned that they swear by. Or simply: someone whose style you love. Don’t get bullied into loosing money on something you didn’t ask for. You are an artist in your own right and your art deserves something that will highlight it. You deserve better than what you feel is generic.

If you, as writers or just commissioners, are interested in a post on how to look for a good commission artist and how to work with them, you can let me know, I can whip something up for you ;)

[ender-cloud]

RACHEL :(

TGS Spoilers under cut

This is the first time after an update that I’ve been absolutely lost for words, not because nothing happened, but because theres so much to unpack about it.

“How many times did you meet him?” Did Jasper ever actually meet Hyde Until he was tied up? He heard about him plenty of times sure but I don’t think he’s actually spent time with him, so in a way Rachel makes sense by seeing this.

But Jasper also grew close with Jekyll during this time and I dont think his feelings should be side lined, he worked side by side with Jekyll and really got to connect with him.

Rachel was close to both so it makes sense why she may be reflecting through anger towards anyone she’s near. But either way Jaspers feelings shouldn’t be sidelined.

Ooooo boy, there are some things to unpack here

Rachel ignoring the signs that Hyde looking like Jekyll because of her grief from Eli’s death is heart wrenching, it was so obvious to her but she really needed it to be Eli for her to cope.

It was an unhealthy way, especially now that everything had been revealed but it helped her at the time, even though it was harming those around her.

Now its like everything is crumbling infront of her eyes

It seems to just now hit her, even when she was talking to Lucy and her brother a couple of chapters back it just now hit her that it’s official

There was always something in the back of her mind telling her that it was possible that this was Eli back to her and after her talk with her Brother and Lucy, it stayed there.

Now she knows that its not true, she knows officially its all gone and that comfort she got in the thought, her coping mechanism, its all gone.

The Lodgers are in disarray, and it makes me wonder how is Jasper so calm in this situation.

He’s been here the shortest time but he worked one on one with Jekyll, he has plenty of a right to freak out too yet he is keeping calm and Helping everyone else

In a way he was becoming Jekylls apprentice, which would give some explanation to why he’s trying to help everyone’s nerves, it’s as if he’s trying to prove that he can handle things, to himself and maybe Jekyll as well, perhaps knowing that Jekyll is Hyde dosent bother him that much

Jasper has the most understanding of Jekylls situation, he’s a werewolf, he knows about transforming and he also tried to cure it through potions, he wouldn’t judge Jekyll as Harshly as the other lodgers because it’s something he can relate to. He probably thinks Hyde is Jekylls version of a werewolf, maybe that’s why he’s not freaking out, he understands wanting to hide that part of yourself and he gets why Jekyll may have not wanted to tell anyone.

He has that connection to Jekyll that no one else has, not even the people who Jekyll has known for so long. Having another being inside of yourself that you cant always control, that’s something only Jasper has also experienced.

Anyway, Jasper giving Rachel his jacket because he couldn’t stay with her was very cute and made me very giddy

[dork-a-doodle]

Cringe is dead and I’m redesigning my old UT/DR OC/Self-Insert: Echo (she/they)

Info dump about them below the cut!

So I originally made them in the wake of Deltarune’s release, when the whole “we, the players, are possessing Kris 😱” thing was very fresh and the whole Undertale Multiverse was still going strong. So naturally they started out as basically a self insert, the version of me that played Undertale and later Deltarune.

So a quick rundown of their lore (btw I make no apologies for the Mary Sue aspects of this):

They originally controlled Frisk, doing several different Runs, endlessly curious about the world

At the end of their most recent True Pacifist they find their way back in the True Lab and into a part of it they hadn’t seen before

While exploring they accidentally activated a machine from before Alphys’s time and get Gastered

…kind of

Instead of being fully “shattered across space and time” they’re just… slightly fractured across space and time

Tbh I like to think of it like they got hurled full force at the 4th wall and got stuck in it like jello

Not really breaking the 4th wall so much as jiggling it aggressively and gaining an new kind of perspective

This had some interesting consequences, including (but not limited to):

separating from Frisk (who runs out of the Lab in fear) and gaining a physical form of their own

the ability to slip into different universes at a whim

the inability to talk normally, now effectively “speaking” in text box noises (lmao get Animal Crossing-ed idiot) and thus can’t be understood by most people (with a few exceptions)

the ability to posses objects and other people (which they do feel the need to sometimes as their true form is off putting to most, though they try not to possess people if they can help it)

others probably? haven’t quite figured that out yet

Which these newfound abilities, they decide to explore the multiverse and see all the interesting things it has to offer

But first, they decide they want a traveling companion, so they don’t get lonely

And they know the perfect candidate, someone who understands what it’s like to have unfathomable power and the want to explore all possibilities with that power for your own entertainment and curiosity’s sake

Someone who really doesn’t have anything left to seek in this world

And damn it if Flowey isn’t very interested in that offer

This arrangement is a strangely balanced symbiosis

For Flowey:

traveling the multiverse gives him a kind of clean slate he could never achieve on his own, especially with the loss of his reset powers

the multiverse is also very interesting and fun to explore

they know what he’s been through and what kind of a person that’s made him better than anyone else. they understand it, and they know to judge him for it would be hypocritical

For Echo:

so long as Flowey is attached to them in some capacity he can understand their strange ��speech” and frequently acts as a translator (they are also learning sign language to ease that burden)

he’s far more experienced in battle and frequently acts as protection in more aggressive universes

re: the point about mutual understanding

Flowey is also unable to absorb their soul, which means his power over them is limited and if he crosses a line they’re fully able to ditch is ass in any universe they want

It’s notable that while Echo’s curiosity can occasionally override their morality, they’re still more inclined to chose the kinder option

I consider them to be chaotic neutral, leaning towards chaotic good

(I also personally see Flowey as somewhere between true neutral and chaotic neutral, occasionally slipping into chaotic evil. What can I say, he’s a nuanced guy)

Anyway, they travel the multiverse together, experiencing new things, seeing interesting sights, causing chaos

Eventually they find themselves in the Deltarune side of the multiverse

The universe they end up in is one where the entity possessing Kris is an incredibly malevolent one

Or I should say, the entity that was supposed to be possessing Kris

As Echo senses the Bad Vibes approaching this random human child, they say “absolutely the fuck not” and possess Kris themself to block the entity

This does mean they have to drop Flowey to do this, so he’s just kinda in the background for the time being

From there it’s basically just Chapter 1 until the point when Kris rips out the soul and goes to eat some pie

While they’re distracted, Flowey climbs in and breaks open the cage so Echo can unpossess the soul and leave now that the malicious entity is gone

They do decide to stick around and check out these Dark Worlds

Luckily for them, while they were busy dealing with the classroom Dark World, Flowey took the time to explore the town and found this perfectly good empty vessel that someone seems to have discarded

Deciding not to question it, they possess the vessel and wait for a new Dark World to open so they can explore it together

And that’s the basics of their story (or as much of it as I have ironed out lol). Hopefully this hyperfixation stays with me cuz I’d love to explore their character a lot more 😁

[gemini-queen42]

Imagine a batb freak show/false god au:where Adam was born half beast and his parents abandoned him so either he was found by a circus or a cult and Adam experienced the horrors and he just wants to be free,maybe belle finds him and together they escape

[Post writing this: this turned out.. much longer than I planned/expected. So uh. Hope you enjoy reading me ramble through developing this false god au!! Despite the length I feel like I leave a lot of things vague but.. I'll hopefully develop/refine them in time!♡ sorry if there are any bits that are hard to read/understand</3]

Ohohoo!!! I'm gonna focus on the false god aspect of this, since Luni already has a pretty good freakshow au ♡♡♡ besides, I'm naturally more drawn to the themings of false deities and whatnot :3c

What some consider curse, others deem divinity [one man's trash another man's treasure type beat]

Its surprisingly easy to adapt the story into this au... exchange the castle for an overgrown cathedral, make the castle servants members of the cult instead, and you've got a pretty good start.

Of course, castle servants as cult members easily complicates things; how does one make a situation Adam would want to be free from without villifying what is essentially his found family?

Ehhh We'll get there.

"Cult" in this context is used closer to its antiquity definition than the modern one. The worship of its god was once much more widespread, but it failed to come through in some time of need and has since lost following [thus the large, yet delapedated cathedral]- the current cult being those that still hold faith, despite it all.

I dont think I need to elaborate on how a group of people devoted to a god that the majority of the populace believes has abandoned them would the desperate sort lol.

So when one find an infant abandoned in the woods, with beastly traits that resemble their god, wrapped in cloth of higher quality than anyone in the neighboring villages should be able to afford,

They're going to take it as a sign.

More than a sign; that's a demigod, or an incarnation, and praise be it might even be a messiah.

[A strong contrast to what his royalty parents thought: a curse, surely, from whatever god their faith falls to now- what did they do wrong? Send it away- to the farthest wolf lived woods possible; let it feed the earth so its life is not all sin]

The boy gets taken in joyfully by the old gods devotees. Had these people been proper nobles, there'd be very little difference to what his life would've been as a prince.

Adam is raised with the weight of a gods responsibilities on his shoulders.

[They did try not to put pressure on him, especially as a child- but the hope in the air cant be ignored. Adam feels it, and from here on im narrating mostly from his POV]

The cult is kind to him, very, they love him dearly-

They also gave him good education. He knows the history.

Whether he is son, or incarnation, or whatever his relation be;

These people have been failed before, maybe even by him directly, and either way:

Its his responsibility not to fail again.

That he will one day, it not now, but hopefully soon, aid them as the god he supposedly is.

Make up for the mistakes of the past.

Except he can't. [Yet, is hoped]

Besides the natural results his beastly traits have, he lacks any divine power. And the older he gets, the more worrisome it is.

Perhaps, they try to reassure him, he doesn't need to be a living god. He's here as something else, a specific moment where it will all come together-

But he doesn't know when or what that would be. And of course, they dont either.

A precise moment is much easier to screw up than a whole lifetime.

His relationship to the old god he is supposedly successor to is.. complicated. Usually, though, he's bitter.

Adam is old enough to hold power as an authority in the cult, and thus far he's used it to keep the cult, and himself, closed off. He's not willing to present himself without being sure he wont dissapoint. As time marches forward, he gets moodier and antsier. More temperamental under the stress.

Because time has not told, and he is no closer to fulfilling his birthright than he was as an infant. Maybe he used to be content helping as much as mortal could when he was younger- but he's older now. He's supposed to be *more* now. But he's not, and it enrages him. He may even be becoming paranoid...

That is, of course, due to the fact that he is not Divine. His beastliness is of another source- and even if it was from a god, it wasnt in a way of making him one to.. any extent.

But he doesn't know this. And nor does the rest of the cult.

Now, taking on responsibility for things beyond and persons control and thinking you need to fix it all on your own is traumatizing in itself. And it is easily enough to result in him being the bitter, stand-offish, ill tempered guy Belle first meets [truly, sometimes all that's needed is to let someone be in their own head a Little Too Much].

But I'm a maximalist, so we're gonna fuel that fire a bit more. Remember Maestro Forte? If he had the respect and authority over the cult that he wishes he had, it would very easily be a cult in all modern sensibilities. He's working on it though.

Now, having their god come to them in the form of an infant (perfectly malleable to his whims if he plays hus cards right)- woulf be GREAT!! if the kid had any damn power. Its going to show up *sometime*, surely, but Forte is getting Impatient.

Luckily for him, so is Adam.

Forte takes the place he does in his Canon appearance, someone to confirm all of Adam's Worst Thoughts and make him Worse- but here we have the added addition of "Experimental Rituals to shortcut Access to Divine Power" !!

[Done secretly and privately, mind you- the others would Certainly object.]

And now I would like to introduce: there are triggers to cause Adam to become more beastly, in a form of iffy semipermanence.

One little instance to awaken that extra bit of beasthood won't keep longer than its cause, but to do so in repetition?

And when the beastly traits are the very thing that made people think he was divine?

Adam has a good repitoire of scars, and looks bit less human than he used to ♡

But none of these efforts have revealed any divinity- just more beast.

And by the time he Meets Belle, hes already started considering running off into the woods or something, because hes not sure how many more Experimental Rituals he can take, and if nothing else just to stop seeing the *Dissapointment* laced with *Pity* in everyones eyes.

[Forte is the only dissapointed, the rest are just *worried* about him. Because he's clearly spiraling, and despite how hard they try they cant get through to him- he pretends they do, but they can tell hes just placating them. They also have no idea whats causing the growth of more beastly traits, but with how bad hes doing- they're doubting its anything good.]

Belle is a girl that is *very* interested in the anthropology, specifically the mythological, religious, folklore, cultural types of aspects. In this context, of course, these are all Pretty Real, not really in antiquity- Gods are Gods, but they are also Real Historical Figures- but you get the picture, both in area of study and the vibes she kind of has. [She has likely, on multiple occasions, been shooed off by a priest for not acting reverant enough & her questions coming off a tad too disrespectful]

She is very curious, very passionate, and *really* doesn't understand the whole "respect = no questions" thing.

And Boy, when she meets Adam? She's aboutta maks this man question his Whole Life.

And I'm thinking the Enchantress comes in as an interaction that triggers Adam to start Really Spiraling, under the idea that hes actually on some sort of time limit-

anyways, ultimate fate of this au is that Belle helps Adam realize that he doesn't need to carry things alone, and that hes not Divine, and help him through the identity crisis That entails-

Also subplots about the cult members, as they are [for the most part] [aka Except Forte] earnest devotees, driven to worship an absent God by the one thing that can truly drive that; helplessness and desperation. Adam's knowledge of these pasts is part of what drives him into further spiraling- so I do want to explore what they are, and since I'm a sucker for happy endings; theyre gonna get their happy endings/resolutions too♡

[signesfanfics]

Lonely in Baker Street [Fanfic and Podfic]

This fic on AO3

The podfic on archive.org

Summary:

Sherlock Holmes character study on him being lonely, and missing Watson after he left Baker Street, because of his marriage to Mary, and wondering among other things, if this is the price one pays for not feeling the "softer emotions" in a world where it seems like everyone else does.

Or an exploration of Holmes being aroace.

Notes:

This is not a new fanfic I have just decided that I want my fics to be on more than one site, as a form of backup, and will therefore upload all my old and future fics here as well as on AO3. 

This fic contains references to events from the original Doyle canon, namely "A Study in Scarlet" "The Sign of the Four" and "A Scandal in Bohemia", and might therefore be hard to follow for anyone who has not read these stories.

That being said, you're welcome to stick by and read this fic anyway if you please. I just thought you might want to be warned beforehand.

The fic:

Sherlock Holmes had a secret habit of writing down, or as he would call it "examining", his most intense feelings, then they happened to cloud his mind. The notes this habit resulted in were often burned shortly after they were written, or hidden away in places where no one, not even Watson, could find them. As for Watson he would not know about this habit before far into their "acquaintance" when both of them were old men, and Holmes was less reluctant to admit, just how emotional a man, he actually was under his cold calculating exterior, (or at least admit it to his Boswell anyway). This note was written quite some time before that. Between when Watson got married to Mary and left Baker Street, and the events of "A Scandal in Bohemia". 

"It has been long a time since I last examined my relation to the softer emotions, but now after I have been deserted for a wife by Watson. Been left to myself, alone, in baker street for several months. I have felt the need to write some thoughts down. His absence from my life has made me rethink some things. It has woken an old feeling of isolation in me, and made me feel more lonely than I ever thought I was capable of. In all my life, I have never had a lot of friends, and never any that have even come close to being as significant to me as Watson is.  

I’ve taken Watson for granted, having lived with him for a few years. I have come to value his company and opinion on my cases in ways that makes me question much of what I thought I knew about myself. I always thought myself as a solitary creature, that rarely sought out human company. I never thought I would enjoy sharing lodgings with anyone, but I was wrong.  

As a child and in my early youth, it always seemed like my goal would be to get my own place, where I could be myself freely without stressing others with my unusual habits. The only reason I ended up looking for one to share lodgings with, was that it was the only option I saw, in order to be able to pay the expenses needed to get reasonable living space in the middle of London. As I did not have anyway near the amount of money back then, that I have at present. But as time went on I grew found of the retired army doctor, in a way I never thought possible, we have become the dearest of friends, a friend which I would lay down my very life for in an instant.

Being quite content in our acquiesce, I have come to forget how the regular man seek a form of company that I cannot provide. Not simply because I am a man and Watson seek the love of a woman, but also because the love of a lover is not something I have ever found myself capable of.

It has always been something that others felt and  acted upon, and while i over time, learned to understand it well enough to see then it was the motive behind a crime, and somewhat being able to follow when others talked about it. I never got the kind of deep understanding that one can only get from having experienced something for themselves. Why. I do not know, I have often put this thought as a choice. A decision which I have made, because it made things easier. People are not always nice then it comes to things they do not understand. That being said I wasn't  always aware that I was the one that was different because to me, it was the behavior of other that seemed strange.

I used to think, that they were all one by one going mad. The weird dreamy or sometime even predatory looks that I spotted in some of my peers how they chased after each other like their life depended on it, and I could never understand why. They seemed insane to me, going to crazy length to get their “special someone” affection, getting all nervous and flustered to the point there they were no longer able to talk with them in a way that came even close to that of a normal person. When they had no trouble talking with people in the past.

Over time, it became clear though that it was not just a few of my peers that had gone mad, but that what I had deemed madness was apparently what others considered normal, and that many saw my lack of such impulses such feelings as even stranger than I have perceived the actions of my peers to be.

Some of them thought of me as cold, unnatural, not even human. Some thought I was lying, or just immature and would grow out of it. Some even mistook my lack of interest in of women for an interest in men. A notion that I would have laughed at if it wasn't for the view the law had on the subject. Not that I could do anything about it after all it was not like they believed me why would they after all, very few would openly admit to loving their own sex. This is the main reason why I started using my work as an excuse. It was the closest thing to the truth that people seem to be able to wrap their heads around, and after all I wasn't lying then I told Watson or anyone else for that matter that such feeling would only get in the way of my work, as that is something i truly believe myself. Just that it's only a small part of the story rather than the full truth.  

That’s not to say that being this way is all bad. Considering what I have seen of what such feelings have done to people. How blind some become, the horrible thing such feeling course some people to do both to the ones they love but also to others. No, I'm happy that take no part in that. I only wish that people would try to understand. That I was less alone with this experience beside my brother, I never meet anyone who knows what it's like. I also wish that  I've never have gotten so close to someone like Watson, someone who won't be content living the bachelor life with a close friend the way I am, though Watson and I have been closer than I think regular friends usually are, though I do not know what word best describe us, as there are few words for relationships that don't needle fit into society's boxes. If he's still my friend that is. I hope that he is, that maybe I still may have a place in his life, but I'm unsure as he has yet to come for as much as even the shortest visit, and I’m afraid that I won't be welcomed if I show up at his door. I’m scared that he’ll tell me that he no longer have any place for me in his life. That he’s been avoiding me on purpose, though if he doesn’t come here soon then maybe I should come to him, Though, I’m not even sure where he lives anymore. But I may have to concur this fear one day, if I want to have even the slightest chance of keeping him in my life."  

For the time Holmes hid the note away, thinking that he might return to it later. But only a few days went by before he received a letter that started the case that Watson would document under the name “A Scandal In Bohemia”. A case that happened to be the first one where Holmes and Watson worked together after Watson marriage. A case that woke a hope in Holmes that maybe his and Watson's partnership were not just a thing of the past, that maybe if he invited Watson with him on cases in the future Watson might accept and come along with him. That maybe just maybe there could still be a place for him in Watson’s life even if things might never be the same as before.  

End notes:

If anyone's further interested in the topic of an Aroace Holmes, I'll recommend watching this video

Sherlock Holmes: Asexual Icon

by David J Bradley

Also for context i'm aroace myself so this is partly based on personal experiences but only partly as i had to at least try to make it fit with Holmes's character.

I appreciate comments/reblogs and i'm open to constructive criticism, but be nice. 

[castlebyersafterdark]

i find the will liking pain in the bedroom headcanon very interesting because arguably, the show and vecna himself, being a metaphor for depression/mental bad health and insecurities and giving in to self-loathing etc, IS the cathartic experience that will (or anyone) goes through before finding self-compassion - sort of like max's journey in s4. I don't expect her to want to revisit pain and humiliation in the bedroom with lucas in the future, because often that's a sign that things are still needing to be worked through in the self and soul and mind. i think the point of the show is that will's tribulations ARE his catharsis and suffering, the result of the original traumatic event (possibly abuse from his father or from the lab), and so therefore ideally at the show's conclusion will has completely gotten all of that exploration out of his system and will have no need/desire for pain or humiliation ever again - he would never want or need to explore his past in that way because it would not help him.

perhaps some people don't view the show's metaphor in this fashion and instead see his current tribulations (aka the actual events of the show) as THE original abuse event, and so they think he might want to explore that trauma after the show is wrapped up. but this also implies will's story will be unfinished when the show wraps up and is still left with unresolved trauma that he might want to explore/fix through sexual kink. perhaps they'll return to these characters in the future and we'll see that. but for now i think these are much more likely to be personal preferences of the fans that they then imagine with will. i will be curious to see if the documentary the duffers are making (or the show itself!) will address the true meaning of the horror metaphor.

Well, I guess my take is twofold: that not all kinks explored in the bedroom and those types of sexual interests have to have a 1:1 correlation to trauma and working through an emotional life experience. But also, why would everything he's experienced and the emotions from that just disappear because the big bad villain is defeated and life is now normal? That also is unrealistic? And it's still all happening. And he's a teenager. A lot of what you experience is unresolved for many years, it doesn't just go away. I think he'd revisit many things as an adult, even if nothing "bad" happens again it's still all a major part of his life and that wouldn't disappear. He could be in a good place emotionally and still have parts of him that aren't so. It doesn't mean his story is unfinished - we're all unfinished. I know it's a television show, but as obsessive fans we imagine the totality of the characters beyond what's on screen, otherwise, why are we here? It's not just what we see on screen, but the aftermath, the internal. There's nothing wrong with ending a story on the screen a certain way and portraying realism. Happily ever after, all neat and tidy and naive isn't really interesting to imagine in my opinion. It's a disservice to say that these characters aren't going to deal with these things experienced during the five years we're watching during this story arc for the remainder of their lives. They all will. Which can manifest in different ways.

Emotional catharsis through sex can sometimes be working through something else but it can also be simply because someone wants to feel a certain way. Pain play and kinkier sex acts doesn't have to be strictly for reliving very specific trauma - it can but it can also just be a way to tap into extreme emotion and then the aftercare that comes with it. Being taken care of, allowing yourself to let go, allowing yourself a a headspace to explore an out of body emotional experience while hyper aware of your body. Pain and pleasure are similar extremes, the overlap is appealing to people in a sexual setting because of that. I think a character who has been through forced emotional distress and very extreme situations may actively enjoy a controlled setting with some extreme emotion or sensation. That's all, in the simplest, least deep explanation of it. It's a topic I could go on and on about but I'll leave it there!!

[antler-witch]

How do you know what’s a sign and what isn’t?

I’m in this online folk witch group and the other day a lady made a post asking about the meaning of something she experienced that she believed to be a sign. One morning she was making breakfast and cracked an egg as usual, but the contents of the egg had sent a shock down her spine—the egg had been full of blood.

This happens when a blood vessel is ruptured in the process of forming the egg. It’s not common but it’s perfectly natural and not harmful to the hen or the egg. A lot of people in the comments of the post were telling her this, so she edited the post to include something along the lines of “This is a witch group, so obviously i’m looking for witch answers. I didn’t think i’d have to make that distinction but i’m not looking for mundane explanations.”

If you search for spiritual and magical meaning in regular things in your day-to-day life, you’re going to create a lot of chaos for yourself (and you’re to be making a lot of misinterpretations!!). here's an example of what i mean—

Let’s say you’re going for a walk through your neighborhood, and you see a crow. There’s a lot of folklore around counting crows, and the spiritual symbol of seeing 1 crow according to such folklore is one of bad luck, tragedy, and loss. But it is important to take into consideration any other regular reason for a crow to be seen! If your neighborhood has trees, it likely has a population of crows. Thus, seeing one crow is no reason to expect bad luck and tragedy in your life.

so when am I supposed to know if something’s a sign??

Generally speaking, it would be wise to consider the possibility of something as a sign when it is repeated and when your intuition is alerting you to the presence of the sign. For example—instead of just seeing one crow on a walk, you see one crow everywhere you go. Not just as the animal itself, but in other places/forms as well. Maybe you see someone with a shirt that has a crow on it, and then you overhear someone say “crow” to someone else in passing, and then you see a post on social media by an account with the word crow in it, etc, etc, etc. At this point, it’s clear something is going on. Your intuition will also likely be alerted by these appearances of crows and you’ll maybe have an instinctive feeling that something’s up. THIS is what you should look for in an actual sign. One may then go the extra mile and perform some form of divination or meditation to confirm if what they’re experiencing is a sign and further clarify the meaning of the sign.

but what’s so wrong with asking others what something could mean spiritually?

it’s great to communicate with different witches and learn from others, but one thing you need to keep in mind is this: if what you experienced was truly a sign of something—whether that’s an entity trying to communicate, a sign of something that had yet to happen, etc—then that sign was meant for you. Not online witches or anyone else—YOU. it would be wise to try interpreting a sign yourself. Ask your intuition, meditate on it, pull a few tarot cards or break out the pendulum, whatever you need to do to narrow down the meaning of what you’re experiencing. And again, you shouldn’t be doing this at any everyday occurrence. You should be doing this when it really feels necessary, and when it’s clear that something is up.

main takeaway

to clarify !! i’m not claiming that the lady’s experience with the egg wasn’t a sign, it��s just that the isolated incident of the egg isn’t enough to assume spiritual meaning. There’s a possibility she experienced other things that day, like a reoccurrence of the color red, seeing blood more than usual that day, having a reoccurring feeling of doom or nervousness, etc. In that situation the egg could absolutely be part of a spiritual sign of something. Even in this situation however, she would be wise to interpret this on her own. The sign was meant for her—that means her mind and her intuition. In this situation she’d likely interpret the sign best and most accurately if she did it herself without intervention from others who have different associations with eggs, the color red, blood, and whatever else she was encountering.

utilizing critical thinking, being smart about your craft, and learning to rely on yourself and your intuition are some of the best things you can do as a witch!! practicing witchcraft and connecting more deeply with the spiritual side of your life doesn’t mean you need to throw logic, science, and reason out the window—you’ll find that very often such things work in tandem with witchcraft! science is your friend yall