#I hope my history teachers are proud of me lol

[modern-academic]

Actually y'know what I do think studying the witchcraze of the 15th and 17th centuries for A-level history does give me some level of knowledge to talk about this (not saying I'm a professional, but I have studied under some exceptional history teachers). And I can speak from a European perspective also that the witchcraze did not really come from a 'herbs' thing. It came from a 'religious schism' thing.

(Pictures taken from my A-Level textbook: Access to History: The Witchcraze of the 16th and 17th Centuries, 2nd Edition, Alan Farmer) (also, sorry that all links are just to Wikipedia as I have work soon and am tired but wanted to respond to this)

I think part of the idea of the 'herbs' thing comes from the subject of cunning women, otherwise known as white witches who could be otherwise perceived as evil should their medicines fail.

However, this is by no means the case for all, nor anywhere near a majority, of witchcraft cases in Europe during this time period.

(Oh and for earlier views of the dark ages...)

Anyway, to my main point, there were so many reasons for the witchcraze and witchcraft prosecutions that it is infact pretty difficult to generalise (though of course there are overlying themes and similarities), yet many were very specifically localised and only heightened by the paralleling rise in witchcraft literature (e.g. see: Malleus Maleficarum, 1486; Daemonologie, 1597) that heightened hysteria and provided literal handbooks in identifying and hunting witches.

Whilst shifting religious views (see: the Protestant Reformation and the Counter-Reformation) were the overarching and arguably radical changes that underpinned a majority of trials, it is however important to consider just how drastically society was changing at the time on a range of levels. There was the print revolution (following the invention of the printing press) and increased literacy rates (greater access to knowledge and ideologies (e.g. the Tyndale Bible)), the change from strict feudalism to early capitalism (e.g. through trading and mercantile capitalism), various epidemics (e.g. plague), the 'mini ice age', population increase, breakdown in popular and elite culture (e.g. the Reformation of Manners), war (e.g. the Thirty Years War and the French Wars of Religion), regional variations, personal feuds, and various changes to judicial/legal systems.

Look, when I studied this you have to constantly remind yourself that you're discussing an entire continent (Europe) as well as case studies abroad (America), and that you're looking at a time span of over 200 years. There is no one size fits all when it comes to differing beliefs about witches.

Of course there are the stereotypes of gender, age, class, religion, race, profession, and whatever else, but do you really believe every stereotype you see? Of course not because it's literally not true! A stereotype is just that... a stereotype!

And not all historians will agree! A Marxist or socio-economic historian may argue that it was the introduction of early capitalism to society, both mercantile and agricultural, that underpinned the witch trials. Meanwhile, a feminist historian may argue it was the inherent misogyny of the patriarchal organisation of society that underpinned them. I've seen arguments over whether the printing press led to a greater social revolution than religious reforms. I've seen personal blood and sexually-related feuds escalated into cases that overtook whole regions and claimed many lives. Again, the persecution of witches has never been one size fits all. It has always been rooted in a wide complexity of political, religious, social, and economic and the idea of a 'war on women' has only ever been but a small part of that.

what was called "witchcraft" was a designation from the Christian/Catholics who did not like that the big majority of the healers (herbs and energy work) we done by women. In the Dark Ages, this was a good excuse to get rid by burning alive women (very few men) who dared know more and be successful with medecine! The essence of Patriarchy! They did not burn Witches, they burned Women!

...okay. I have no idea why you're sending this to me, or what your motivations are -- but let's unpack whatever the heck this is.

Depending on where we're talking about, the way "witches" were executed was varied -- in some places they were burned, but in other places (like England or the Americas) they were hanged.

People of all genders were targeted in the witch trials. Yes, most witch trials predominantly targeted women (because, yes, sexism is and has always been real), but in some areas (like Russia) they targeted predominantly men. And in the areas where women were the main targets, men still died too. Six of the twenty people killed in the Salem witch trials were men. Including Giles Corey. Who was crushed to death. And allegedly his last words were "more weight." That dude was fuckin' badass as hell, and we don't diminish his stand against injustice.

Of course none of the people executed were actually "witches." They were vulnerable people. Some were Jewish, some were mentally ill, some were just easy targets when a paranoia was sweeping a town, and some were folks being targeted for other political/personal reasons. Your oversimplification of who was targeted not only erases real victims, it ignores many of the very real issues that were responsible -- including things like antisemitism. Your desire to transform this into some empowering narrative is, frankly, gross.

And again, why the fuck are you sending this to me? I have repeatedly stated over the years that no one in the witch trials was actually a "witch." Where the heck have you ever seen me claim that? I have whole podcast episodes where I talk about this shit. We never refer to historical folk magic and folk medicine practitioners as witches, because that's a modernly reclaimed term. No one really called themselves a witch until the 20th century.

You got real "daughters they couldn't burn" vibes here, kid. And it ain't a good look.

[easybrainrot34]

🩵Bridgerton Girlies Headcanons🩵

Characters : Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Hyacinth. Bonus Kate and Penelope

Briefly Mentioned Characters : John Stirling, Philip Oliver and Amanda Crane, Anthony, Violet, Gregory, and Madame Delacroix

Note : Everyone gets 2 headcanons with one being modern and one period. Also spoilers (from the books) on Eloises period headcanon, so skip if you want. Also Hyacinth was shockingly hard to write for, but i tried my best!

A/N : I’m back!! I took pride month off bc i had real life things going and i basically spent the month being extra bi lol. Hope y’all had a good month and lets get back to writing and having fun ☺️🩵

P.S my request are open :)

🩵 I feel like Daphne would become a little bit of a match maker. I feel like she wants everyone to have what she and her mom has, which is a love match. If she say that a lady was crushing on a lord or the other way around, she would become a wing woman lol.

🩵 Eloise would take every and any classes where she can learn about social issues and history she can get her hands on in college. I feel like El would get her doctorate and become a professor in literature. She also took time in between degrees to travel the world.

🩵 Ik it’s a pretty popular headcanon that El is such a good mom but I truly feel like Philip married El bc she took Oliver and Amanda under her wing. It takes time for Eloise to not feel like she’s not replacing Marina, but once she does she loves them like they r her kids. Yes she would teach them how to become respected members of the ton, but also how to be kind, not to be scared to have a sharp tongue, and to never be afraid to be themselves.

🩵 I feel like once Fran found her voice she would frequently have no problem holding her own in debating her siblings. It’s Anthony and Eloise r the most shocked by it but welcome it nevertheless. I also feel like El would be secretly proud of her.

🩵 Fran would become a private piano teacher to the local members of high society in Scotland. She would take all kinds of students from children to young debutantes. I feel like she would convince John that this isnt for money, but truly for her love of playing music.

🩵 I feel like Hyacinth would become a writer. She keeps some of her childish wonder and with the help of the family she finally would publish her work. She specifically writes young adult romance and fantasy books.

🩵 Once Violet lets her finally read Whistledown she👏🏻goes👏🏻HAM👏🏻!! She had her governess keep all copies for the moment she was finally aloud. And lord, does she run to Pen. She talkes to Pen about all of her work; not only giving her endless praise, but also seeing if there was anything she didn’t include. She also tells Gregory about all of it (of course against his will, but he secretly doesn’t mind).

BONUS

🩵 It’s incredibly important to Kate that her children grow up knowing both her Indian culture and Anthonys British culture. I feel like she is one of those moms that will teach and speak Hindi at home so her children r bilingual. She just overall is a classic Indian mom lol.

🩵 I’ve talked about this before but i feel like Kate would really take Hyacinth under her wing. As the lady of the house, she wants her to have a great debut, not just bc it reflects on her but bc she knows Hyacinth deserves it. She also prepares her for the ups and downs of society. She knows how Hyacinth lowkey has rose tinted sunglasses on when it comes to being part of the ton, but she stresses to her that it’s ok if she isn’t perfect. I also feel like she does the same for Gregory, preparing him as much as she can, and they regularly practice on how to talk to ladies (she also gets Anthony to help him too).

🩵 Ik this is cheesy but i feel like even in the modern world Pen would be a writer, and would go under a false name. It would start with fanfics (something tells me she was writing Harry Potter and Twilight fics on fanfic dot net lol) but as she got older she would take it more seriously. She would write romance books and once she had a following she would do a whole face reveal and would do events. She would also have undercover accounts in her fandom to see what her audience really thinks of her work.

🩵 She definitely keeps her friendship with Madame Delacroix even after everything comes out. They have a weekly catch up and would even shout her out more in Whistledown now that everyone knows. She would even invite her over to her and Colin’s estate, not caring about what the ton thinks. (Bc lets be real Pen really doesn’t give a fck lol)

[bilesproblems]

genuine question. not taking into account people with differing attraction orientations yk. how does the mpsec lesbianing work. bc as far as i know lesbian is just homosexual nonman? pls don't just be like "erm well that's not what lesbian means dumbfuck little radexclus bitch" i need an actual explanation that isn't just "because you're wrong lmao"

i hope this doesn't come off as rude im trying to learn i like knowing both sides of arguments and every time i try to get someone to explain i get attacked (not anon because i will forget that i put this in pls pretend im anon)

In the nicest way possible, do you think nonman is a single gender and not inherently inclusive of an mspec experience?

Mspec lesbians come in many forms, and as you've already accounted for SAM users, I don't need to go over that. But for others, the meaning varies. For me, I am not attracted to men, not sexually (well, not anybody sexually lol), not romantically. Platonic and aesthetic, totally. But as a romantic orientation (and sexual para-orientation) I am a lesbian, exclusively. I only feel attraction to women and various nonbinary genders, and I'm unsure of how I'd feel dating a bigender man but I think it would be alright as long as they were also a woman. But see here, the thing is, "various nonbinary genders" includes people who are separate from being women. This means that, while being fully and exclusively lesbian, it is inherently mspec and to imply otherwise is horribly enbyphobic and misgenders us all

For others that I know, it is an uncertainty. One feels attraction to women, men, and potentially elsegender people, but the attraction to men/attraction to people who are not women (depends on the person) is a lot more infrequent and/or weak, to the point where it's hard to even be sure if it's real attraction. In this sense, a bi lesbian would be somebody who feels like they're on the line between the two, or in a blurry area right between, and they aren't sure which they belong to.

For many... It's reclamation! Lesbian was fully nonexclusive for a long time. The movement that changed that was led by TERFs. It was not the natural progression of language, but a disgusting movement that aimed to remove bi women, trans women, butches, nonbinary people, and transmascs from being lesbians despite them all being historical parts of the community. I get why exclusive lesbians would want their own space and label, but we should have made a new one instead of taking over an existing one and kicking people out. A very small amount of bi people today are retaking their place as lesbians, because they never should have been kicked out in the first place

Also, many people don't like the nonman definition because "nonman" excludes bigender enby people and women from being lesbians just because they're also men. And it has racist origins as a term... It's not inherently wrong to use but many people do dislike it being imposed onto the definition of lesbian as such a large label because of that. I don't hate it, but I think it's kinda a bad definition... I need to rewrite my definition but lesbian is a word that deserves a definition that would make your English teachers proud, because it's such a loaded and beautiful word with so much history and variety in experience.

[douglas-rain]

Top Five Douglas Rain Recommendations From Yours Truly

You want to see more of Douglas Rain, but you're not sure where to start? Well, do I have the thing for you! As the internet's most preeminent Douglas Rain expert (except for Gerry Flahive I guess, but he's kind of slow at answering emails and more focused on other stuff these days. If he wants to reclaim the title, he can meet me in the parking lot <3), I've made you a handy little list of some of my personal favourite performances by DR that I think you should see and/or hear!

And by 'little' I mean 'I got way too into this, so it's pretty long now'. I put it under a cut; you're welcome.

In the interest of fairness, I've chosen one performance from each of his fields of work (namely: ON STAGE, RADIO WORK, DOCUMENTARY NARRATION, TELEVISION and FILM). Please know, however, that I can give reviews of basically everything in the masterpost, so if you're interested in hearing about any of them, feel free to shoot me an ask!

Without further ado, let's get into it...

-

ON STAGE: Henry V (1966)

Okay, this one's teeeechnically a TV movie, but it's adapted from Stratford's staged production, so I'm counting it. It's also a rare treat in that we get to see DR in colour! (Everybody say THANK YOU to David Rain, his son, for bullying the Festival into restoring this production and adding it to their online catalogue. I owe him my life.)

This is one of Shakespeare's histories, part of the Henriad (aka the collection of plays about the accomplishments of various English kings). Henry V, the main guy in this one, is actually the crowned version of Prince Hal from both parts of Henry IV, a role that DR had played previously at Stratford, so this is a fun bit of character continuity for him! The play centres around the king's invasion of France, with a lot of ruminating on hope and despair and duty and bravery. Harry - as he is affectionately referred to on occasion - is really going through it, and DR portrays him with such emotional intensity. He's proud, he's fierce, he's clever, he's a BITCH and I like him SO MUCH.

The book has been edited down slightly to fit into a two hour runtime for television, but beyond a few... very funny jumpcuts, it's not really noticeable at all. And while the sets are kept mostly simple, the costumes are gorgeous. I went in not expecting much (a mistake I keep making when approaching Shakespeare plays, for some reason lol), and was thoroughly entertained the whole way through!

It also contains the transcendentally funny line, "Tennis balls, my liege!" because Shakespeare was the most hysterical motherfucker on planet Earth. It makes sense in context, I promise.

Can be found on Stratfest@Home, the online streaming service of the Stratford Festival (there's a 7-day free trial period if you sign up). You may also check my masterpost of performances for a possible alternative, but shhh.

-

RADIO WORK: Fifth Business (1980)

I love this one; it's literally so fucking funny. This radio play is a dramatisation of the 1970 novel of the same name by Robertson Davies. Fifth Business recounts the life story of Dunstable "Dunstan" Ramsay, from his boyhood in an idyllic (on the surface only) Canadian village to his experiences in the First World War, his career as a teacher and all the loves and complications he runs into, and the formative experiences peppering his life where he's never quite the main character. He is instead 'fifth business' - neither hero nor villain, but still integral to resolving the play's plot. Ramsay is clever, sarcastic and a goddamn weirdo who's obsessed with saints for non-religious reasons. He dodged a snowball as a kid and the consequences of that haunt him throughout the entire book.

The radio drama features a whole cast of actors, including of course DR as the protagonist (who also narrates everything btw), doing an absolutely delightful job. Fellow Stratford actress Martha Henry, who also happened to be his wife at the time, is in it too!

The entire drama is delightful, honestly. I liveblogged my experience listening to it for the first time, and man there is some wild shit happening in this novel. The entire things is about three and a half hours, but it really doesn't feel that long.

Can be found (in eight parts) on YouTube or on Archive.org. (Or in a junkbox on a sidewalk in Toronto. I'm still baffled by that.)

-

DOCUMENTARY NARRATION: Universe (1960)

A classic. Documentaries make up a sizeable chunk of the masterpost (thanks to the NFB website and archive channels on YouTube), so there were more options in this category than in any of the others. But I decided to go with this particular gem of a documentary.

It's about - who would have guessed - the universe, featuring the most advanced scientific knowledge of planets and stars at the time. The special effects are also quite impressive - if you move around Space Odyssey circles, you may have heard that the visuals of this documentary were a major inspiration for 2001. Also, DR's narration in Universe is what brought him to Stanley Kubrick's attention. You can probably guess how that ended. (Gerry Flahive has some articles about the whole thing if you don't.)

Anyway, Universe is a beautiful and meditative look at our galaxy and the many things it contains, and DR's narration is absolutely lovely. It clocks in at just under half an hour, so not that big of a time commitment either.

Can be found on YouTube or on the NFB website.

-

TELEVISION: William Lyon Mackenzie: A Friend To His Country (1961)

It's so hard to find old Canadian TV shows anywhere online and I'm forever bitter about it. Our options here are incredibly limited as a result, so you're just going to have to accept that I'm recommending you a historical short film from 1961, alright? This is as difficult for me as it is for you.

Unsurprisingly, this movie is about William Lyon Mackenzie, who was... *checks Wikipedia* "a Scottish Canadian-American journalist and politician." Yes, DR is doing a Scottish accent in this role. Yes, I adore it. I know very little about Canadian history, so I can't exactly speak to the film's accuracy, but I found it charming and DR is doing a very good job. Most of the half hour runtime is spent on Mackenzie's various political struggles (some sort of failed revolution, I gather, followed by exile in the United States and some jailtime) and him trying to protect his family. His wife is played by Canadian actress Kate Reid in this movie, which I personally find very funny for... reasons. IYKYK.

Can be found on YouTube or on the NFB website.

-

FILM: OEDIPUS REX (1957)

I'm sort of cheating again, but the only other options in this category that I have access to are the two Space Odyssey movies, and they seemed like too basic of a choice. So have some more drama instead! This is also a filmed version of one of Stratford's plays, but released in theatres this time.

Oedipus Rex is a breezy 87 minutes and adapts the English translation by Yeats of the classic Greek tragedy by Sophocles, with a little added prologue to set the scene. It was directed by Tyrone Guthrie, who you might remember as the Big Man from The Stratford Adventure. Or from the fact that he was a pretty famous theatre guy. If you need a refresher on your Greek myths: Oedipus was the guy who was prophesised to kill his father and marry his mother. He got done dirty by Freud somewhere down the line.

DR plays the role of the Messenger, a minor part who recounts some of the most famous plot points of the tragedy of Oedipus, which they couldn't show onscreen/onstage. Granted, he's only in this one for like five minutes, but he really rocks up to crash the party wearing the coolest outfit in the entire show. And yes, everyone in this production is wearing Greek theatre masks, so you can't see his face. You get to hear his voice though - and watch his captivating body language!

Can be found on YouTube. Or you can probably buy it on DVD if you really want to; idk, I'm not the boss of you. (I've also clipped his scene if you really, really don't want to watch the whole play. I get it's a big ask. Really beautiful production though, seriously!)

[applejongho]

On gender: sometimes I wonder if I'm actually nonbinary or if I just want to be alt and am doing it to break away from my parents' expectations. It's so frustrating to the point it's caused me partially not to come out to certain people because like. what if I'm wrong? And that sort of implicit disapproval masked as concern is so. It's so hard to confront anyone about it because of how it's framed.

I think the good and bad thing about both gender and identifying with a subculture is that there's not a strict set of rules you must fulfill to "join" either. But that means that you can come and go freely in any if you want to, or stay with one/a few forever. Whichever is more comfortable.

way more under the cut bc i started talking and never stopped 🤠

I can't speak on the nb experience because I've never identified as it or thought I was nb, but I can at least speak on why I'm not nb AND why I resonate with alternative subcultures all the same. I really resonated with alternative subcultures bc of the music and political ideologies but also because growing up I consistently never felt like I fit in with other girls around me. They all presented or acted in ways that just didn't click with me, to the point where I thought something was wrong with me for it. I didn't have the word or the idea that a girl could look like something else, so I dressed like they did bc I thought that's what I was supposed to do as a girl (but also my parents forced gender roles on me so it's not like i had a choice). I didn't get how others could like what they were wearing and feel comfortable in it. But then I started dressing "edgier" (when i got older) and all of a sudden I understood.

But the key here is I didn't ever feel like I wasn't a girl despite not resonating with the girls at school. And I can't exactly articulate that bc gender is so personal but I just know that I felt proud of female accomplishments in history and wanted to follow in their footsteps, I felt a social connection to girls and didn't feel "othered" (besides them liking how they dressed and i didnt), and when nb people started appearing in my life I didn't connect w them in that way or wish to be like them (in the sense like, I didn't want to "present" like them* or say my pronouns were they/them or whatever "precursors" there are to being nb). I've also heard that some nb people before realizing they are nb is they feel uncomfortable when they are indirectly called a girl or boy in a group of afab/amab people by a professor/teacher/adult/whatever saying "hey girls/boys!" and I never had that issue.

* = nb people present in a variety of ways and it's not a one size fits all, I just mean generally if I saw someone with they/them pronouns I wasn't like *kicking my feet* I want that

But like tldr, despite alt subcultures and being nb being similar in the idea that you're breaking society's expectation of [something], I could recognize I felt ok in the broad woman gender box while also feeling not ok in a specific gender presentation box. And that's all easy to say now that i went through my Self Expression Arc but it's a lot of trial and error, soul searching, Thinking, crying, observing others... until you begin to get a semblance of who u might be.

But like back to feeling like you're "faking it," ig something I've learned is that even if you're faking it, that doesn't negate your time labeling as That Thing (ie using certain pronouns and backtracking) and no one that matters will be pissed off that you backtracked. We're all figuring that shit out and if someone wants to be weird about it, whatever lol. Ig my advice is just do whatever you're comfortable with, come out to as many or as few people as you'd like to, and if you still feel Wrong ("they/them doesn't feel right to me anymore") then don't be afraid to try on a new set of pronouns or change up your style a bit. Unfortunately a lot of finding out yourself is just trial and error until something sticks.

I hope my experience/advice helps clear up some things and maybe others can comment too if they want, ie nb people that can fill in the gaps that I can't fill. Much love ❤️

[martian-astro10]

RANT ABOUT INDIAN SOCIETY

There's absolutely nothing in this world that I hate more than old Indian women, my mom has many friends and all of them are in abusive, miserable marriages and you know who forces them to stay... It's not their fathers, it's their mothers. I know so many women who would be living a happy life if they were allowed to get a divorce and then focus on their career, but no, they have to manipulate their daughters into staying in shitty marriages. Old Indian women are the worst people ever, my mom was intelligent and capable enough to leave and not listen to my grandmother but not everyone is able to do that. A lot of times, women are not able to leave their husbands because they have nowhere to live, that wouldn't be the case if they would allow their daughters to stay with them but nope, they are too busy saying shit like "log kya kahenge" "adjust toh karna padega" "ab toh tu parayi ho gyi hain", I can't even imagine what my life would be like right now if my mom hadn't left her shitty husband and started her own business. I know other indian children who were raised by single mothers but they had to live with their grandparents and they both were constantly harassed by the mother's brother and his wife, and my mom would too if she hadn't bought her own house. And it is so funny that these people celebrate Durga puja, like, seriously, lol.

On one hand, I want to appreciate Indian culture and our tradition and history and on the other hand, I'M SO DONE. I literally saw this guy yesterday saying some misogynistic shit and guess his bio... Yup, it was "jai shree ram" MATLAB.... Kya bakchodi hain yeh, I'm a proud Hindu but people like that piss me off so much and what is the point of development and stuff when people are still killing girl child. I've spent 17 years of my life in Delhi, it's considered to be very progressive, developed and modern and guess what mere maths teacher ne apni bivi ke 8 abortions karaye the, finally ladka ho gaya, bohot khush the uss din, mithai leke aaye the tuition class Mein, meri Mami ke 5 abortion hue the kyunki sasural waalon ko ladki nhi chahiye thi, meri mom ki ek friend ki galti se ladki paida ho gyi thi, ultrasound galat nikla tha, sasural waale Jaan buch ke bhooka rakte the taanki breast milk form na ho aur ladki bhooki mar jaaye, vo toh Bhagwaan ka bhala ho ki vo bach gyi.

Hindu Yeh, hindu vo, hindu rashtra, bharat, kya faayda, aisi baatein karne ke Baad, Phir lakshmi aur saraswati Maa ki photo ke Saamne ladke hone ki bheek maangte hain, ek paise ki akal nhi hain, I hope mere generation ke log better niklenge kyunki buddhe logon ne toh aaj tak mujhe Sirf disappoint hi kiya hain

[nobodysdaydreams]

The Mysterious Benedict Society Reaction Season 2 Episode 6: A Commitment To All Things Cozy.

Hello everyone. Seeing as it is the holidays, I wasn’t sure I’d get to this but if I can wake up early enough I’ll do the liveblog. Those who have been following me long enough will know that I am waiting in anticipation for someone to call out the fact that Garrison probably swept Milligan (can she give his memories back? Were they friends? I need the drama) and I also need the backstory on Curtain and his ex-employees, especially SQ’s biological parents. Speaking of SQ, maybe he’ll finally show up. Who knows? What I do know is that 1x06 was when we got big plot reveal flashbacks last time so maybe 2x06 will deliver for us. Let’s find out.

1:00- oh no Rhonda, I know you're doing a good thing here, but you don't understand, we need this backstory and confrontation. Please take Garrison with you. "no one can punish her more than she punishes herself" "that's true" oh my gosh Garrison. Oh no now she's running. Glad the gang is back together, but I needed Garrison to join them. And of course Milligan shows up now before he can confront Garrison for sweeping them. I hope that comes soon.

4:30- Oh no Ms. Perumal. At least the others got away. Reunited just to separate again. At least we know most of them separated with characters they have important history with, so we can all be thankful for that.

6:00- Nicholas stop giving him information. Oh no Auguste do not do anything for this man. Where are Auguste's parents? Did Curtain kill them too? Did he replace SQ with this boy?

8:00- Yes to the kidnapping Curtain! "lovely," "do not take the tea" "oh," the man just wants a tea party with his brother number 2. Can we not offer him that? Also, Nicholas looks personally offended at the haircut idea which means that even brainwashed, he still hates his brother’s hairstyling which is a great callback to when they were kids and his brother forced him to style his hair. This plan works excellently unless part of Curtain's plan is having you switch places. The haircut may not be a good idea. He's a crazy genius. He probably has video cams in the house and knows your whole plan.

11:00- Reynie just lost his mom. Again. This poor boy. At least Rhonda is therapizing him. Not the Mr. Benedict scream- Reynie is going through his arc. Lol at him throwing the sweater vest.

12:50- well, off they go. The abandonment threat was a good try Constance. I do love the Constance & Sticky team up though. Nice of Constance not to immediately break out with the "boy who fell asleep on me" poem yet (or maybe she's saving it). Oh no the happiness is spreading. Was that frozen man even in the cult? SQ has to be frozen too at this point. If you're taking Garrison away from me, you at least have to give SQ back. Fair is fair.

14:40- Oh dear Sofia, sorry about the fire. "Perhaps we flew too high" oh my gosh even the innkeepers have a tragic backstory. They are almost creepily ok with unaccompanied minors staying with them. I agree Constance, time to bounce.

17:00- Oh no, poor Jeffers is so proud of himself for catching Ms. Perumal, and Curtain's like, "she's literally the last one I needed. No psychic girl, no ex-chemist of mine, not my brother's other top agent, not the girl with the skills of a pro athlete, not that boys I trained for my Whisperer, just some school teacher? She clearly gave herself up to save the others, you idiot!" Oh, poor Jeffers, "her alias as a schoolteacher" Curtain is so pissed. "Be Better" oh, Jeffers, this is why I love the terrible guy sidekicks. Speaking of: Jackson and Jillson, it's time to shine! Oh, dear Jackson gunning for the promotion. It would be so funny if Marlon could hear them. Wow, Curtain actually looks scared for a second, and he knows this could be a side effect; Garrison warned him; why is he in denial (unless he used it on himself or (Gasp) actually cares about his brother and son who he hasn't seen in weeks and doesn’t want to face that something horrible is gonna happen to his family because of him).

18:45- YES JILLSON AND JACKSON TELL HIM ABOUT THE CHEMICAL MISFIRE I love them facing their fears like this. See Curtain, you need them. "I don't trust this doctor" Well maybe you'll be singing a different tune when your son's life is on the line.

19:00- I am careful! No, you're not. But yeah it's realistic that they would have this out. Poor Martina is just there for this. Ironically she's part of the reason Kate dove off the cliff in the first place. "ARE WE PREPARED TO WIN" Martina, it's not a tetherball match.

21:00- how does Constance know this much about cooking scones? Is it part of her backstory? "his tears will lead to growth" yeah Constance, that was mean, the poor man tried his best.

22:00- oh no. Constance. Don't. OH NO. NO NO NO NO NO. Oh this isn't gonna be good.

23:00- Awe. Thanks, Martina. But please don't pull an SQ or Garrison, we just got you back. I don't like this "in case we die" talk. Also Milligan "I'll be...on standby... in case you need me" lol Martina laughing. Wait hold up, Martina actually has parents in this universe? Since when? Why were they cool with her being at the institute? Okay moving past that I suppose.

25:00- Sticky you have to know this is abnormal. "she is breaking me Sofia" this is hilarious the poor man. But seriously Sticky please get a Constance some help. Okay Constance, overdoing it a bit. Sticky, don't fall for that since when does she care about your school?

27:00- "we'll fix things" adorable. Oh hey! They found Rhonda and Reynie! PFT- Not the cut to Sticky and Constance being totally useless, lol. Yeah asking about boatwright was ok, but calling him Sticky? Biggest red flag there is. Oh hi Jeffers. OH MY GOSH HE HAS A SPEECH OF TRIUMPH NOW. "My failure shattered me as a man" well maybe save that for your therapist Jeffers. All of Curtain's employees need to rebuild their esteem instead of trauma dumping on the kids they kidnap. “I can secure the perimeter” he’s so proud, my man finished his story arc.

29:30- lol Curtain's like "Nicholas I regret having you here. I missed you but I forgot having a sibling means having a sibling. Personal space please" He has to be suspicious. My gosh, Curtain’s sense of humor is so bad. Maybe that's why he couldn't get adopted.

31:00- OH WE GOT BACK STORY. They recommended Martina? Why? Oh dear They believed her story so quickly, they’re so trusting. I love Jackson and Jillson so much. They deserve better. NO MARTINA WE ALREADY LOST GARRISON AND SQ DON'T STRESS ABOUT A LITTLE AUTO THEFT I'M SURE THEY'LL FORGIVE YOU. Oh bother.

33:00- Nicholas is gonna crack. This is bad. Nathaniel will too when he realizes the extent of his little problem. Number 2 just knock him out. Ugh number 2 has to be pissed at this point. OH NO. Don't trust the weird boy. OH GREAT Curtain had Constance, number 2, AND Nicholas, and it's only a matter of time before Sticky, Ms. Perumal and who knows who else follow.

Well, now I'm disappointed. No kidnapped Curtain, no SQ, Martina, and Garrison are gone, no flashbacks. But Jackson, Jillson, and Jeffers were the stars of the episode. Good work with the J names. I hope they continue with their cute little side stories. I hope Garrison does too. Also, with all the Constance's parent's teasing, when is that actually going to play into the plot? Hopefully soon.

[cloudcountry]

Aaaaa and I don’t mind your responses to my long writings!! /gen I’m just happy that you’re reading them in the first place kdjfgkdffg— But please give your hands a rest-

Speaking of Ikevamp OCs!! Admittedly, I don’t know much about Freud, Salieri or Chaloner (from the other reblog posts), so I decided to look into them if I have the time >:D I MIGHT give a history lesson about them later--

I’ve also tried to make a comprehensible list of characteristics/things we’ve already got about Beethoven (who *cough* is already like,, half an OC if you squint-) And I’ve added some things of my own. As of right now, his Ikevamp self:

-Is headstrong, strong-willed, and proud

-Is impulsive, independent, and has a short temper

-Is a Grumpy Old Man™ with Grandpa Tendencies™ /aff

-Has a sharp tongue for insults and comebacks

-Values honesty, integrity, and virtue. He hates liars

-Really respects Mozart and hates Napoleon (lol-)

-Not afraid to speak his opinion, so if he doesn’t like you, you WILL know-

-Likes macaroni-and-cheese. I won’t elaborate. /J

-Loves walks in the forest and nature in general! He enjoys taking hikes, it’s a hobby of his :D During these walks, he’s able to clear his head and be inspired by the beauty of nature. He takes a walk around, even if the weather is bad. There was a time where he circled around in a park for hours, humming and composing in his head in pouring rain…

-If he ever were in the game, maybe he would be partially deaf?? Or at least have some hearing problems to pay homage to the real figure—

-Is pretty short,, He’s 5’3/162cm, so he’s grumpy AND short. The best combination /j /lh

-Doesn’t care about status. He was well-received by the Viennese aristocracy but he wasn’t subservient to them; rather, he regarded them as equals. So, he doesn’t see anyone above him or beneath him.

-His family is a touchy subject. For one, his father was an alcoholic, and he tried to exploit Ludwig as a child prodigy, wanted to make him the next Mozart. His father, also a professional singer, was a harsh teacher, "Every time Ludwig hit a sour note, his father's hands came crashing down on his son's with a loud, discordant thwack,” one writer states. He actually had eight siblings and was the second oldest, but only he and two younger brothers made it to adulthood. He deeply cares for his brothers, even though he didn’t approve of their wives- He and his sister-in-law Johanna Reiss hated each other, and he didn’t like his youngest brother’s mistress who would later marry him.)

-Is unlucky in love (Yes, sadly for the real Beethoven, he was pretty unfortunate in terms of romance- Beethoven first fell in love with a young countess named Julie [“Giulietta”] Guicciardi in 1801, but could not marry her because he was a commoner. His famous Piano Sonata No. 14, “Moonlight,” is dedicated to her. A few years later he met and fell in love with Josephine Brunswick, another countess, after he began giving her piano lessons. They would write a series of love letters, of which 15 by Beethoven survive, until her family pressured them to terminate the relationship. He was a hopeless romantic and fell in love many times, who in turn, got rejected each time. Though, it was mainly because of class divisions and marital statuses. He never married.)

I actually read the love letters he sent, and to my surprise, they’re,,, incredibly romantic?! Like legit, love letters are very private things to read in the first place, but even when I was reading his letters, I was like “Should I really be reading these…?” Asdfghjkl— His most famous love letter is the one called “The Immortal Beloved.”

I’m gonna give you some extracts from these love letters that I found really sweet- I hope you don’t mind!!

“My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved I can only live wholly with you or not at all-

Be calm my life, my all. Only by calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together… Oh, do continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.

-L.”

“Beat only in silence, oh poor heart, you cannot do otherwise. For you, always for you, only you, eternally you, only you until I die. My solace, my everything. Oh Creator, watch over her, bless her days, all the adversity upon me first.”

“My angel, my very self… Why this profound sorrow, when necessity speaks — can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another; can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, that I am not wholly yours? — Dear God, look at Nature in all her beauty and set your heart at rest about what must be — Love demands all, and rightly so… No doubt we shall meet soon; and today also time fails me to tell you of the thoughts which during these last few days I have been revolving about my life — If our hearts were always closely united, I would certainly entertain no such thoughts. My heart overflows with a longing to tell you so many things — Oh — there are moments when I find that speech is quite inadequate — Be cheerful — and be for ever my faithful, my only sweetheart, my all, as I am yours. The gods must send us everything else, whatever must and shall be our fate. 

—Your faithful Ludwig”

“What a life!!! As it is now!!! without you — pursued by the kindness of people here and there, a kindness that I think — that I wish to deserve just as little as I deserve it — man’s homage to man — that pains me — and when I consider myself in the setting of the universe, what am I and what is that man — whom one calls the greatest of men — and yet — on the other hand therein lies the divine element in man… However much you love me — my love for you is even greater — but never conceal yourself from me — good night — Dear God — so near! so far! Is not our love truly founded in Heaven — and, what is more, as strongly cemented in the firmament of heaven?”

“Even when I am in bed my thoughts rush to you, my immortal beloved, now and then joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to know whether Fate will hear our prayer — To face life I must live altogether with you or never see you… Oh God, why must one be separated from her who is so dear. Yet my life in V[ienna] at present is a miserable life — Your love has made me both the happiest and unhappiest of mortals…”

So, he’s a grump, but he’s actually really romantic in nature,,, A romantic grump if you will

Oh, on another note!! I tried to make a Picrew for a concept appearance, and I actually kinda like what I came up with! The Picrew’s really close to what I had in mind, but maybe I might try to draw him someday??

https://i.postimg.cc/G3xgBVsN/241783-5r-TPl-J0n.png (I’m really hoping the link works, kjdfngd-)

And a quick description of what I had in mind for his appearance!!

-He’s short, but his aura, appearance and demeanour make him give off the vibe that he’s taller

-Wavy middle-length to long length darkish-brown hair he keeps in a low ponytail

-He wears a red jacket! Admittedly, while the colour is a tie-in to the red of the German flag, I feel like it makes him stand out more,, He dresses up very modestly

-Piercing blue eyes framed by round glasses (Ngl, I debated giving him half-moon glasses, but I went with round ones-)

-Overall, he looks pretty stern and intimidating

Jackdaw Anon 🐦

AHSGFD OFC IM READING THEM!!!! I READ EVERYTHING I GET IN MY ASKBOS WHAHAWH IM JUST HAPPY TUMBLR ISNT EATING TEHSE ESSAYS OR STOPPING EM FROM POSTING THEM ^^

I WOULD BE SO HERE FOR THOSE LESSONS AAAAA!!!!! BUT PLEASE REST YOUR HANDS TOO <33 (even though mine have issues whwahwahwah)

BEETHOVEN BEINGA ROMANTIC IS SUCH A SHOCK TO ME??? YOURE SO RIGHT AS I WAS READING THE LOVE LETTERS I WAS LIEK "um...shoudl i be here." LIKE IT FEELS SO PRIVATE GAHHH ITS LIKE HIS GHOST IS JUDGING ME RN

JSAGHFD YOU LITERALLY SUSMMED HIM UP SO WELL YOURE A WIZARD JACKDAW ANON I LITERALLY DONT KNOW HO WYOU DO IT ?>????

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i swear i’m posting this question everywhere BUT!!!

i’m moving out in one month and 9 days (yay) and the anxiety is just hitting me (not yay) and i’d like advice

i’ll be living alone in a 1 bed 1 bath townhouse that’s three hours away from home. i’ll be keeping all of my healthcare providers because i’m not moving out of state and as long as i do one in person session a year i can do telehealth for visits, which is great bc ive seen my psychiatrist for 10 years now and i refuse to leave her until she retires.

it you read my personal posts you probably know i’ve been going through it with my bipolar 1, though i did just go up on one of my meds yesterday and at least today ive felt a bit more stable so we’ll see how this goes. i also get paranoid when it gets dark and the changing of the seasons is a big trigger for psychotic symptoms episodes (though i already had one in the summer and am now on an absolute ridiculously high dose of my antipsychotics, so i hope it’s out of my system lol), and though i can rationalize with myself a lot better now, after 13 years of psychosis, it’s a hard habit to break because of how strong the connection is in my mind. basically what i’m saying is my schizoaffective disorder may be a little bit of an asshole when i move out and idk what i should and shouldn’t do

i have an urgent care 5 min from the apartment so if anything serious happens i can get medical attention easily, but as i said in my last vent post, even though im struggling a lot, and my brain very much wants me to give up, im so so so close to living the way young me wanted to: on my own while working on my double major in history and education bachelors degree, get my masters, and going on to be a high school history teacher. i have a required archeology course and that’s making me so happy i can’t breathe because before i wanted to teach i wanted to be an archeologist. my inner child is having a field day. i’ve wanted that for so long and it’s so close i can almost touch it. i want to get better, i want to breathe easy because this has been a hell of ride and i want to make my childhood self proud. i want him to see that i’ve pushed through, even if im still struggling a lot.

if you’ve experienced mental illness of any kind really, but especially if you’re schizo/psychosis-spec or bipolar 1 or moved out during a difficult episode, and you moved out and had to live alone (i won’t have roommates), can you reply to this post and give me some advice? im working with my therapist during our sessions to build a safety plan and building skills to help self-soothe but i would love to hear from people who have a similar story as mine, especially when it comes to dealing with day-to-day life instead of just while in crisis

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[monkberryfields]

hi mads, srs again!! sorry for dropping off the face of the earth! finals..... happened and then i lost all sense of time for a week 🙃 how did your finals go?? i hope your potato famine paper wasn't too unmanageable and that it was interesting to write. i ended up writing 7000 words for an original nature writing project bc i had wayyyy more to say than i anticipated lol. the music history thing is super cool too!! that's definitely been the most interesting part as i've gotten into classic rock: how music evolved over time, what influences changed the styles of music, and how artists influenced one another. in mike nesmith's autobiography, there's a bit about how jimi hendrix singlehandedly changed the entire rock scene and basically shook everything up the way the beatles had back in '63, and mike recalls a dinner at a restaurant where john lennon came rushing in out of breath and super late for the meal because he had been in a club watching hendrix perform and had recorded the performance and proceeded to play it in the restaurant bc it was so life-changing. it's so wild that there's these singular moments where things can change so suddenly, and people can remember decades later the moment they first heard the new style and how it made them feel.

do you have any fun plans now that you're on break? any fun traditions? i'm excited for a lot of the christmas baking! i've already made some gingerbread cuneiform tablets for my mom (she's a history teacher lol) so now i'm getting ready to do some real christmas cookies, maybe bake some small loaves of bread, and recreate some pastries that i used to love getting when i studied abroad! we're trying to go low-effort for christmas meals this year, so the desserts are really the only things that are going to be fancy lol.

travelling back to 60s london would be so much fun!! and your concert choices are a+, i saw stop making sense at the movie theater recently and it totally blew my mind, it would be amazing to be part of that crowd just having fun!!

i hope you're having a relaxing break so far and take some time for self-care!! christmas is just a few days away, so i hope you're having fun and feeling festive! 🎄🎆🎁☃

much love!!! -🦋

Hello Secret Santa! No worries!! I was hoping your finals went well and that you're alright!!

My finals went great! My professor was very impressed with the potato famine paper so it made me feel accomplished. Also, 7000 words is no joke!! That's awesome! We did our fair share of writing this semester, and we need to give ourselves a pat on the back for our hard work. What were some cool things about your nature writing project that you're proud of?

Yes!! That's the reason why I love classic rock so much is that it really did create the ways we listen to music today! Also, I love Jimi Hendrix so much. I think he was a true innovator. And I've never heard that story before between Mike and John about Jimi. I wonder if it correlates with the anecdote from Paul who went to see Jimi Hendrix days after Sgt. Pepper's was released and Jimi had learned to play it. I like how all these bands' and artists' histories sort of intertwine with each other. Super fascinating!!

Right now I have mainly been trying to watch the videos in my YouTube watch later playlist because I had over 300 videos (I know, I know...). I also am trying to read some books during the break because I know I will not be able to read them once the semester starts back up again. I'll also be trying to write a bit of my Master's thesis during the break which I'm nervous about.

My family isn't the type for traditions, but we do cook a huge Italian dinner for Christmas Eve. I've also baked up a storm with a lot of premade cookie dough. One Christmas, I would like to try and bake everything from scratch because I know I can bake, I just don't have much time to. Also, the cuneiform gingerbread tablets sound so cool!! I bet that was fun to do. I haven't baked bread in a while, but I feel like I should get back into it. I know how to make the big Italian bread loaves, but I really want to try to make sourdough. I just need a starter. Desserts are always fun to get fancy with. I baked some nice pies for Thanksgiving this year that were pretty fancy! What are some of your favorite desserts to bake? Also, where did you study abroad?? I've always wanted to do that, but the pandemic happened unfortunately.

My wishes are the same to you! Everyone deserves a relaxing break and time to themselves to practice self-care. I definitely have, and it's been great! I'm trying to get in the festive mood and I hope you're having a great time with your family this holiday!! :)) Is there anything you're anticipating gift-wise?

[raganandhersurveys]

6/26/23~ 5000 question survey(401-500) {CXX}

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you?

~hmmm i wouldn’t necessarily say it was the best part of my life but i definitely see where people get that from. i liked high school a lot and overall i look back on it with fond memories 

402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?

~styles i think would fit them. there are a lot of people that refuse to wear certain things because they think they look bad in it but honestly, i see the opposite; i think trying new clothing is really cool 

403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?

~i’m not super familiar with either 

404. When was the last time you were up all night?

~i rarely stay up all night but a few weeks ago i stayed up late watching movies 

405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank. 

~that is a lot for me to wrap my head around lmmfao 

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized? 

~yes; also morally i don’t agree with that 

407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as 'outsiders'?

~you can be proud of who you are and still love people who are different than you. i really wish people would grasp that concept. we are literally all humans and no one is better than anyone else 

408. What fictional story would you like to live through? 

~i watch and read such dark shit i don’t think i would ever choose something that i’m super into. but going to hogwarts would be pretty cool

409. Are cats or dogs smarter? 

~depends on the task at hand 

410. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary?

~yes but like not to look in it. when i was a kid everyone’s password diary password was their crush's birthdate LMMFAO so it was really just to see if i was right 

411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life?

~i think one reason i never like hated school was because i had a lot of good teachers throughout it. i had the same english teacher for junior and senior year and i adored her. i also loved my sophomore history teacher and my 7th grade english teacher. all of those people wrote my teacher recommendations for college and wrote me like super sweet messages in my yearbooks 

412. Are you more easily bored or excited?

~excited haha

413. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done? 

~this was the first thing to come to my mind lmao; when i went to summer camp when i was like 12 i volunteered to climb the super super high out door rock climbing wall that was in the woods; it had just opened and I was the first girl to make it to the top :) that made me feel really good 

 414. "What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?" (- Adam Ant) 

~the thrill? 

 415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want?

~hmmm chocolate chip waffles and iced coffee

416. What do you do only when you are upset? 

~hug a stuffed animal lol lol 

 417. What's the oddest CD in your collection?

~i don’t really think i have CD collection anymore 

418. What's the best diary name you ever saw?

~hmm idk 

419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?

~i actually like having some alone time lmao

420. Who owes you an apology?

~i don’t wanna go there LMAO

421. Who deserves an apology from you?

~i hope no one right now 

422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you? 

~yes and no; i love my parents but i don’t feel like i can be open with them about things. i want my kids to feel like if something is ever wrong they can come to me. i never felt like i could depend on my mom ever so i definitely want my kids to feel like they can depend on me 

423. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion? 

~ooooh alll of it but the 70′s especially 

424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you?

~idk i haven’t experienced that in a long time 

425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature

~mature 

426. Do you own a record player? Do you use it? 

~my dad does and i use his when i’m at home but i don’t own one personally 

427. How easily do you make friends?

~pretty easy i guess but i keep my circle small and tight so i find that a lot of people don’t really wanna get to that point 

428. What is the difference between having character and being a character?

~having character is being unique and having a good personality overall where as i think being a character means you’re funny

429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? 

~a poisonous dart frog :) or a great white shark 

430. Do you care about your weight?

~only mine and i obsess over it 

431. Did you/will you go to the prom? 

~nooooooo plz don’t get me started I was a covid highschool victim :(((((((((( i have vowed to give my children the most for prom one day just so i can vicariously live through them LMAO

432. Have you ever wanted to date twins?

~lol no 

433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could?

~i would have embraced who i really was more; i was trying to be someone i wasn’t for sooooo long. i also would have tried harder my senior year

434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

~will attach to you if too close

435. Are you artistic and creative?

~eh

436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year?

~i cheated and looked at my snapchat memories. i went to tj.maxx with my best friend 

437. What are you obsessed with? 

~my boyfriend 

438. What was the last compliment you received? 

~”you’re gonna be a great mom one day” 

439. Do you have any brothers or sisters? 

~i have one sister

440. Who would you like to be alone with right now? 

~my boyfriend LMAO

441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?

~not usually 

442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage? 

~i think that is a choice that others shouldn’t have an opinion on LOL. if for example i married jacob i trust him and know he is good with money so i wouldn’t get one. but i don’t think it takes the romance out of a relationship if you choose to get one

443. Do you lie your way out of things? 

~not usually

444. Are you better at talking or listening?

~i’ve been told i’m a good listener

445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime? 

~graduating highschool 

446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? 

~the government LMAO not tryna be that person but like i know there is so much bs 

447 What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you?

~anything my grandma has said 

448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)? 

~LMAO NO!

449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading? 

~i have not

 450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers?

 ~thinking about future plans i have 

451. What do you do for exercise? 

~depends on the day. tomorrow i want to do some core exercises so i’ll just use the machines at the gym that help with that and do some yoga mat workouts 

452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn't teach?

~strict teacher with a sense of humor; anything is better than a teacher that doesn't teach 

453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it? 

~depends! i have a whole list of baby names LMAO. but my top for boy names is ryder and for girls juliette.

454. If you won free tickets to a concert from a radio show and had to choose between Inxs, Poison, Blondie and Moby, which would you choose? 

~blondie is the only one of those i’m familiar with 

455. Are you a good cook?

~i’m ok ig 

 456. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive? 

~i guess so 

457. Start a sentence with the words: what if

~what if i was rich 

458. Are you more spontaneous and unpredictable or loyal and routine?

~i think you can be spontaneous and loyal LMAO

 459. What is the highest number you can count to in your head? 

~maybe a million

 460. How do you go about losing weight? 

~i workout :) i try to eat healthy but that doesn’t happen often lol

461. Do you have street smarts?

~probably not

462. Do you have a lot of common sense?

~i’d like to think so

463. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

~strawberry or cookie dough or reeces 

 464. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing?

~dirty dancing

 465. Would you ever want to become a guest on a talk show? If yes what would the show's theme be?

~if i had an interesting enough life to warrant being on one lmao

466. Do you like the way you look naked?

~i’m fine with it LMAO

467. Have you ever dissected an animal?

~at school :/

468. Who do you know who is brilliant?

~quite a few. jacob’s mom is super smart 

469. Who do you know who is dull? 

~i can’t think of someone specifically

470. Do you ever think about time travel? 

~yes! i would love to do it

471. What is one interesting fact you know?

~i can’t really think of one rn

472. Do you talk to yourself? 

~oh my god all the time

 Do you talk to your pets?

~^

473. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)? 

~i think so

474. Would you rather wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty or more delicate outfits? 

~i don’t tend to get my clothes too dirty. so i’m good with either. i like wearing delicate things to bed because it makes me feel cute 

475. How do you 'live life to the fullest'? 

~i’m working on that LMAO

476. Are you sloppy or a neat freak?

~i’m pretty neat

477. Would you rather have a trunk full of nickels or half a trunk full of dimes?

~dimes

478. What is the worst mistake you've ever made? 

~i try to not dwell on that and frankly idek what i would say

 479. Are you in good health? 

~yes

\ 480. Are you patriotic? 

~yes :)

Let's play fact or crap. Is it a fact? Or is it crap?: 481-500 481. 

The greenhouse effect is bad for your health~ fact

 482. There are about as many molecules of air in one breath as there are hairs on your head~ fact

483. The Miss America pageant started out as a contest in which people decorated wheel chairs and one chair was judged the prettiest~ crap

 484. To remove a tattoo a physician can place a small balloon under the skin, which is inflated so that the tattooed skin gradually stretches. Then they cut the stretched skin away~ i feel like crap but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was true

 485. Cock fighting is a sexual sport~ crap

486. It is the warmest time of the day during the hour that the sun is the highest in the sky~ fact

487. Certain scientists specialize in studying cow farts~ fact; aren’t they bad for the planet

488. The brilliant colors (reds, oranges, yellows) across the sky that we get from sunsets are caused mainly by pollution~ i feel like that’s fact :(

 489. In Grimm's original fairy tale, Rapunzel is pregnant~ fact? 

 490. Dracula was the first movie about a vampire~ fact

491. The inventors of Corn Flakes, the Kellogg brothers, ran a school for delinquent youth~ fact; that is one of those things that is so random that i remember hearing in a documentary

 492. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo~ crap

493. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the toilet~ crap haha

494. The Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich~ fact. 

495. Some Chinese alchemists were trying to invent an immortality medicine and accidentally invented gunpowder instead~ that sounds right

 496. The human body is made of about 99% water~ i don’t think it’s that much so crap

497. Bubble gum contains rubber~ crap

 498 This survey to the zero power = 0~ fact 

499. Most lipstick contains fish scales~ crap

500. There are 86401 seconds in day~ fact

[ndeyebaby]

you know how i found out i'm actually smart and wise asf? i wrote down every thought i had in my head regarding the loa. thoughts are intangible, so you have to speak them out or write them down. i typed down my thoughts without sugar coating and without thinking about what others are going to think etc. and it flowed so natural and perfectly. as i kept writing, everything i needed to know started to just come out. and when i re-read what i wrote, more thoughts came to my mind so i wrote more down. everything i was seeking was already within me. it was nearer than my feet and hands, they were within me this whole time. i was the one who was blocking them like a fog.

this whole time i was seeking for answer and clarity on the outside thinking that someone will give me that answer that will make me go "this is IT". but no i finally found it when i TURNED WITHIN. i love the way i word things i love the way i come up with amazing parables and analogies that make perfect sense to me. now things are making sense and falling into perfect places in my head. i no longer need to rely on the outer source although i love neville and edward art but yk cause they're not so available. i love being my own teacher and student.

if i'm being honest, it never felt naturally to seek answer on the outside. it never felt natural to ask bloggers questions when i had this feeling inside me "i already know the answer i just need to turn within" but i was being lazy and ignored that feeling. but girl, it was all within me. i'm actually smart and wise asf lol. thoughts are intangible. you already have amazing priceless wisdom within you that will make you go 💡💡💡💡💡. just type or write your thoughts down. go with the flow. let your thoughts out because god within you is trying to help you. she(cause god is a woman) loves you so so so much she's really trying to help you out but you're refusing to accept it because you don't trust yourself enough.

it is a known fact that when albert einstein needed answer to the question he was studying, he would go on a deeeep deeeeep meditative mode and ask questions and get answers.

for a long time, i worried about the how's when's what if's but's etc. and noone really gave me answer that satisfied me. but i recently came up with this analogy that makes perfect sense to me and i no longer worry about those factors. become your own teacher and student!! the same imagination that was in neville, abdullah, william blake, just anyone in history is within you too. english isn't my first language to excuse any mistakes but i hope everyone starts becoming their own source of everything and trust themselves more

this this this THISSSSSS!

Honestly I would just close my eyes and imagine venting to Neville and he would just give me these simple ass answers like "you're not on your own side" (obviously in the way he'd speak)

We all have the same imagination that shakespeare, william blake, neville, and abdullah had. They weren't any more special than we are - things like IQ, intelligence, and stuff like that is just the 3D way of trying to measure it but it's fundamentally flawed (and ableist too but lemme not get into that lmao)

We were all born with these gifts! Meditation is so underrated for this reason, just taking time to be with yourself and observe your thoughts can give you so much clarity I swear

Thank you so much for this anon, you're so amazing and smart and I'm so proud of you for coming to this conclusion!!!

[phonixa08]

The comfort café II

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Café au, fluff

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Felix x reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of food

𝐀/𝐧: Ahhh part two of this series is out! Tbh I made everything up on the spot and that's what it led me to lol

In case you didn't read the first one you can click here

I hope you like this part as much as the first one and thank you for all the support and likes! ❤️

The next thing I knew, I was behind the counter and overwhelmed with all the utensils and different ways one uses to brew coffee.

"And that's it, not that hard right?" Felix stated after explaining what seemed like the whole world history to me. After a few moments he must've sensed my confusion and I asked myself if I really looked that confused.

"I should've gone easy on you since you've never been a barista before. I'm sorry, this is my first time training others and I also have to get used to it first, so I'm probably not that good of a teacher." He flashed me an apologetic smile and handed me an empty cup.

"So how about this: I'll tell you step by step how to make a caramel macchiato while you try and brew one, ok? I will not interfere but if you need any help don't hesitate to ask me. The stage is yours." with that he stepped aside, his hands gestured to the brewing machine accompanied by an encouraging nod.

Unsurely setting the cup on the counter after I've finished the last touches I looked at Felix for any kind of reaction. Leaning on the windowsill, arms crossed he looked at me with a grin on his lips.

"What, are you making fun of me because it was that bad ?"

The blonde came over and studied my creation, looking concentrated as ever. Then, he decided to end my suffering.

"On the contrary, I think you did very well. There are obviously a few things you need to work on but for your first time, I must say you did better than me. Well, that could also be because I was four at that time-"

"Felix."

"What I'm trying to say is: You have potential Y/N and I mean it. So trust yourself a little more and you'll see that in no time you won't need my help anymore."

I felt how pride fulfilled me and I felt happy. It might seem ridiculous to get that excited over a compliment but I appreciated it, especially coming from someone who has spent his life learning about being a barista.

"So, don't you want to try your first professionally made cup of coffee?" Felix asked with that kind of enthusiasm as though someone just told him he won a trip to Disneyland.

Either only someone like him could get this excited over coffee or he's had a little too much of it, I thought.

With anticipation I took a sip of the caramel macchiato and it tasted, to my relief, indeed not bad. I let out a satisfied hum and Felix smiled at me.

"See, told you it would be good." Hesitatingly and because I wouldn't want to cross any personal boundaries I asked if he wanted to try as well.

"Sure, if that's okay." As he took the cup out of my hands I felt his fingers brush against mine and my face getting warm. Get it together, this can't be happening right now.

Embarassed I looked away and out of the window only to realize the sun slowly setting and hiding behind the tall buildings of the city.

"Yep, you did great Y/N, I'm proud of you." Redirecting my eyes to him I saw his eyes forming little crescents and suddenly I had to smile as well. Leaning my hip against the counter I said " You lied."

There was a frown appearing on his face but I interrupted him before he got the chance to say something.

"You said you would be a bad teacher but I learned a lot today, thank you Felix."

***

With the next few weeks passing by I've become better at brewing coffee and learned more about Felix. He told me that he studies at the college a couple blocks away from mine and majors in music.

Although I've only known him for a little while, it's very easy to talk to him and if I struggled with something he would always be there to lend a hand. We felt comfortable around each other, our banter and mockery while working was something that came naturally.

He was that kind of person you just couldn't not like and made work feel like the most exciting thing ever, to the point where I wasn't able to imagine how it would be without him.

Even now with school kicking my ass, I looked forward going to work because I knew that Felix would help me ease my mind and just for the time being, take it elsewhere.

It was already late evening and the café was closed, only a few fairy lights illuminating the space. With all the studying I had to do because of exams, to say I wasn't feeling it was an understatement.

Sweeping the brown floor tiles beneath my feet, head hung low I suddenly felt the broom being taken away from my hands.

"Hey, what are you-"

Not letting me finish, Felix spun me around and placed his arms around my middle, tightly embracing me and putting his chin on my shoulder.

After processing that he was hugging me for the first time, I returned the embrace, my heartrate increasing by a tenfold as my nose sensed a hint of coffee from him.

We were gently swaying along to the music that was playing from the speakers as we enjoyed each other's company. Altough there wasn't a word spoken, it didn't feel awkward but comfortable.

After a while, Felix retrieved his chin from my shoulder and took a step back.

"May I have this dance?"

And with the light of the fairy lights reflecting in his brown irises, his eyes seemed to glow. He still was wearing his apron which was stained with frosting and coffee. The smile on his lips a bit shy as the question hung in the air between us two.

He is stunning

Without thinking I placed my hand in his which he gladly took.

"It would be my pleasure." I answered and attempted a curtsy, lifting the hem of my imaginary dress.

Chuckling, he pressed a feather light kiss onto the back of my hand which caused me to blush furiously.

With a grin he pulled me close again and we danced.

We danced and everything around us dissappeared.

Because although we were both wearing dirty aprons, although we still had to clean, although we were just two broke college students, all of it didn't matter.

Because I've just realized you didn't need a sparkly dress or a fancy ballroom.

Because with Felix looking at me like this, all of these things didn't matter.

[mokkemusic]

AidaIro’s au’s are really Nene’s stories

I want to share something I always thought about regarding AidaIro’s Hanako au’s (ghost hotel, hoto, playing cards etc) I was talking out my ideas with Cat and Hope and by doing so I have something cohesive to share.  

In my head I can actually imagine Nene being the one to come up with all these au’s cause she’s so creative and in her own fantasy world sometimes. She loves romantic things but also loves odd and dark things so I could see the au’s fitting that.

(That’s @thehopeelias​ art btw that she did for a Tiny Light cover/animatic we collabed together on here)

Monster Nursery

I think the other au’s are easier to see her come up with but I still think Nene would come up with the nursery one as well. Because it would be her desire to see Hanako as a teacher/researcher all grown up. And then she would just make it in the “unique way” Nene always does.

In some way she would want to see what the Yugi twins were like together grown up. And she added Kou to the story as well cause he’s their friend too. She wants to see them older and doing good things. But mostly she wants to make him into something he would be proud of and also see what the brothers would have been like together sharing that success, passion, and happiness.

Nene for this specific AU of Amane being a grown up researcher/teacher, she would be the child in this situation. Mitsuba is always a child, let’s be real. And the mokke... well the mokke are kinda like pet hamsters lol.

And because she loves monsters (like her veggie monsters) she’d want to make herself the coolest fire breathing monster of all of them.

She’d want to know Tsukasa more and how he would act as this adult who got to live out his dreams with his brother. Therefore she would attach herself to him just to bond with him more and see how he can be. How she can imagine him being.

In regards to Mitsuba, I think the only reason she put him in it is cause she’s never seen Mitsuba and Hanako interact and she would just be curious how Hanako would respond and be a father figure like Sensei/researcher to him. So that’s the reason for that.

The mokke were all that was left, she wants to see what Kou would be like caring for something. There’s no better reason for that one being just a mokke. Also Nene knows that he has a little sister he cares for, so taking care of the mokke is easy for him.

Ghost Hotel

The dark magical fantasies like Ghost hotel represents the desire she should be afraid of but secretly craves. Along with the obvious enticing mystery.

Royal (Playing Cards)

The Royal one is what she dreams of like having a prince riding a white horse. But does she really want that? Maybe she wants it a bit darker. A ruthless ruler that her country is at odds with or that is against the way she thinks a prince should be because she says she wants one thing but what she truly wants is a bit of a dark prince. A prince that can sweep her off her feet and rule the kingdom, protect her, and give her luxury in this all powerful fantasy.

Hanako of the Opera

The opera one represents mystery, wanting to know the man (the ghost) that she spends time with that no one knows about. At the same time still not knowing anything about him. At the same time he starts revealing little by little his past tragedy and judgment.

I think of this one line from phantom all of the time. I don’t know if I know if I got the wording exactly but he says something like:

“Why should I show compassion? The world has never shown compassion to me!”

It is very representative of Hanako’s true self. Showing more pain and passion and sorrow and darkness that she puts into this fantasy. Nene created this one to be more raw than the other ones.

Phantom Thief

Phantom thief... I only just recently kinda opened my eyes to phantom thief so.... To start with there are 2 versions. Technically.

One can just be her revised draft of a fantasy story. I’ll just say that. Similar to how a writer often goes back and changes things in their writing. It’s exactly like that. Even changing character roles. For example Nene as a waitress then Nene as detective.

But as far as the reasoning for the phantom thief fantasy is concerned...

Mystery and puzzle solving go together, yes, but...

Hanako’s ultimate goal is to steal the moon.

I’m still working this out but maybe in some underlying way it also represents unachievable dreams.

Additionally it represents Hanako as an outcast (like how phantom is) being “WANTED” by the Minamotos, who are the police. And then Nene working under Tsuchigomori. They aren’t trying to catch the phantom necessarily but mainly trying to uncover more information as detectives do. It is also like how Nene goes to Tsuchigomori for answers about Hanako which he doesn’t give her but at the same time Tsuchigomori sees that she has uncovered more about how Amane can be.

“In all the years I’ve known him I’ve never seen number 7 act like that.”

Tsukasa would be the one Hanako robbed from. Just like he robbed Tsukasa of his life when he killed him. In a deeper sense maybe taking away Tsukasa’s greatest treasure in his eyes, Amane himself. Nene would be the one that Tsukasa hires to do the investigating in this fantasy. Tsukasa liking to mess with things, Nene liking to uncover things (that part is still a theory but it makes sense for her character).

It represents everything Nene is trying to figure out and solve about Hanako. It has the people that he has history with when he was alive, helping her to understand this fantasy and get answers into the mystery that is Hanako. Hanako being the acclaimed villain in a way.

I think that sums up my analysis of all the au’s represented as Nene’s fantasy worlds and why they are set up like that. I may add more to this post as time goes on because I feel like there’s a lot more that can be fleshed out. But because these are AidaIro’s au’s you never know how much truth is behind them. They do seem to have a lot of hidden truths. So regardless I really love thinking like this, Nene is the one that created these stories.

[darkorderaf]

your writing has inspired me to want to start writing again! but work is a pain right now SO I shall roll up with another Evil Uno request. maybe a lil spooky take on the ‘someone almost dying and it finally clicks for them?’ supernatural shenanigans almost going wrong? always down for smut but ur instincts are impeccable so whether you feel like going there is obvs up to you!

OOOOH WHAT AN IDEA. I’m obsessed. I sort of took this one and ran with it, it might be a little weird and experimental lol, so I hope you like it. When I tell you that this one had me busting open my symphonic metal playlists...I’m also so honored and humbled that my writing has inspired you, sincerely. Me, along with everyone else, would LOVE to read your writing. And that goes for everyone who’s thinking about writing. Do the thing! <3

Pairing: Evil Uno x OFC. Prompts: Your lover almost dies and that’s when it clicks for you. Rating: M. Warnings/Content: Angst and smut. A little blood and spooky stuff. Word Count: 2,683.

(I don’t own gif; credit to allelitewrestlings!)

The first hour they met, it was within a shroud of smoke upon a floor speckled with crimson. The thick smell of brimstone burned the sensitive skin of the human’s nostrils. Eight figures watched as the form in the center of their summoning circle slowly unfurled. Her eyes flicked between the bodies. Her body felt tired, as though she had been strung along an endless journey. Her naked thighs trembled as she made to stand.

“Holy shit, it worked.”

Her eyes darted to the side and the man she looked at froze. He was short, stocky. Apparently named Silver from what she could make out from the man beside him. The pair eyed her warily. Her head throbbed and she held her hand up against the harsh light of the moon overhead. The air here felt so heavy. Footsteps shuffled behind her and she turned again. The sudden movement was too much for her weak legs and she nearly collapsed.

Strong arms caught her before she could. She tried to make sense of the masked face that hovered over hers. It looked garish, skeletal, but the eyes...His eyes were dark and warm. Full of that human concern she was familiar with. He pulled a sheet around her and took a few steps away. She gathered herself in the blanket and took a deep breath.

“Why am I here?”

The man crouched down in front of her.

“We need your help,” he said. His voice was soft and low. Gentle. Funny considering what was required to summon someone like her. “We’re...attempting something but it’s in a language we don’t understand. It’s not a human one.”

She snorted in amusement.

“So you summoned something inhuman to help you,” she said as she eyed the eight again. “And they say humans lack ingenuity.”

She made to stand and when she stumbled, he was there to help her again. Her attempt to growl at him was weak and she settled for a glare.

“What do you want from me?”

“Your wisdom, that’s why we called you here,” he answered. She didn’t doubt him. This was not a man that would lie. “Teach us what to do, that’s all we ask.”

She grinned, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. Her head lolled back against his arm as she looked up at him.

“Oh, is that what you think I am? A creature of wisdom?”

Her hand loosely curled around the collar of his vest and pulled him close. Just before she nodded off, she hissed.

“Bless your soul.”

---

She was reluctant to teach them, let alone speak, those first few days. They had forcefully summoned her there, she didn’t owe them anything and said as much. She wandered the halls of their Keep. It felt familiar to her but she couldn’t place it. Each night, the strange masked man sat with her and asked her questions. Even if she didn’t answer, he was patient with her. She never wanted for anything. Food with sunup and sundown, clean water to bathe in. Evil Uno, as she came to learn he was called, was well-versed in the history of the world she came from and all its layers. It was oddly endearing.

He asked her her opinion on things. Asked her questions she hadn’t been asked in so long. She hadn’t realized how desperate she was for conversation until he sat beside her and addressed her like an equal, not someone they simply summoned for their gain. Slowly, her answers lengthened from two words to ten to whole monologues. It was after an impassioned rant on the nine layers that she saw him smile. She smiled too.

“I like you,” she said. Evil Uno and Anna Jay were barely through the door to her room when she was on her feet. It broke the silence of the seventh day and the two members of the Dark Order glanced between each other. “Tell me what you want me to teach you and I will consider it.”

“Really?”

It was Anna that spoke and the demon nodded as she brushed past them.

“Yes. Where is your library?”

Uno was quick to fall in step beside her.

“My tongue is a difficult one to teach,” she said as she assessed him through a sideways glance. A smirk formed. “Don’t worry if you get frustrated, it’s only natural. Are you prepared?”

His eyes locked with hers and she couldn’t help the way her smirk grew. Her eyes fell to the way his smirk reflected hers. It was true. She did like this mortal man and the way he looked at her. Not with heat like most mortals but with understanding. Respect.

“I’ll have a good teacher.”

---

She went silent once he told her what exactly he wanted to do. Damn him. Damn him for drawing her in near and springing this upon her. Damn her for caring about it.

“No,” she said. She shook her head and slammed the ancient book closed. The chair scraped loudly against the stone as she stood. “I won’t teach you this.”

She made to move away and then his hands were on her shoulders, his grip a shaky thing that worried her. The demon eyed him warily.

“Please,” he begged. “Please. This is something that I need to do.”

Her eyes burned when she looked at him, his eyes so fierce yet so full of unknown sadness. What was it?

“Tell me,” she said. Her voice lost that indignant nature, tempered to something soft and almost human. “Tell me why you would want to do something so humanly reckless.”

For a brief moment, his thumbs traced the lines of her shoulders. His hands fell to his sides and he sat down heavily in the library chair. The man leaned forward and rested his face in his hands.

“I’ve…” He paused. Sat back up and straightened himself out. “Every day passes and I see the way they look at me. I remember the way they used to. I’m their leader and I’ve failed them. If I do this…” He touched the book on the table and looked at her. “If I do this, I can be the leader they deserve. I can be someone they’re proud of and we won’t ever be lost again.”

“You do not need that to be a leader,” she spat. When did human affairs get her so incensed? “You can do that of your own volition.”

“I wish that were true,” he said. “I wish that were how it was but it isn't. Please, help me do this.”

“It will kill you,” she finally said. “Or if, if it doesn’t, you will pray that it had.”

His eyes didn’t stray from hers. Damn his conviction. Damn this mortal man.

“I will teach you the words,” she said, devoid of emotion as she willed herself to set it aside. “Then the rest is up to you. I will wash my hands of this.”

“I understand,” he said. He reached out to her again and this time, his hand cradled her firewarm cheek and she allowed it. “Thank you. I mean it. Thank you.”

At that, she shook her head and moved away from his touch. She would not allow herself to grow to like it. Not when the future was being erased with every minute and her black heart couldn’t bear it.

---

Uno was a quick study and she would have been impressed if it didn’t infuriate her. She had hoped to prolong the inevitable, hoped to prolong this foolish endeavor. Even as she broke the spell into smaller and smaller parts, he picked it up quickly. Within two weeks, he was ready.

The smell of incense burned through the halls of The Keep and stirred her out of her sleep. It was the incense that she had told him he needed. They had stayed up late studying and when he had dozed off at the table in her room, she took him to her bed. She had meant to keep vigil but she too needed rest. He must have known. Clever Uno.

The smell led her to the same room that the Dark Order had summoned her into. Before she opened the door, her nose was thick with the smell of blood. He was close to completing it. She threw her body against the door three times before it finally broke apart. Inside, a great chasm consumed the center of the room. Inhuman arms tried to crawl out, tried to snatch at Uno to draw him inside.

“S-Stay back,” Uno gasped out, the man on his knees and the purple of his clothes dark with blood. Five and Ten had almost broken the lines. “I can do it. I can do this.”

Anna looked at her with tear-filled eyes and she did her best to rid her eyes of her own. With long strides, she crossed the room and threw herself to the ground between Uno and the chasm. The creature inside paused, as though it sensed one of its own. She hoped, a strange thing, that it would be enough. Uno’s heartbeat was weak behind her. The panic in her chest made her speak faster, the old and buried language alive and loud in the room. She continued to chant, to strain every muscle in her body to keep it back. To keep it away from him.

Her ears bled with the intensity of the creature’s screams and it’s claws reached out at her, scratching her arms. She didn’t flinch. The creature’s arms began to shorten, the chasm began to close. With one last infuriated shout, the chasm slammed shut and severed the creature’s arm.

With a great sob, it vanished.

The room went deathly quiet, save for her heavy breathing and the constricted sobs of the Dark Order around her. The thud behind her whipped her around and she was on her knees, Uno’s masked face cradled in her hands.

“If you die on me, mortal man, I will haunt you,” she said, voice choked with emotion. She muttered the old language under her breath as she held his face. “I will never leave you alone, do you understand? I will find you, do you understand? I will find you.”

---

Uno finally stirred two days later and she was by his side, her intense eyes on him. He thought he would be endlessly tired but he felt...awake. More awake than he had been. Just as he was about to ask,

“What did I tell you?”

“That it would kill me,” he said. “But it didn’t, did it?”

She looked at him, her jaw momentarily dropped. Then she began to laugh, a hand over her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes and he reached for her.

“It did not,” she conceded. “You’re welcome.”

“What did you do?”

“Stopped you.”

“No, that’s not...All you did, is it? I feel fine. I shouldn’t feel fine, should I?”

She had looked ethereal before, an otherworldly glow to her skin. Her eyes. It was still there but not as vibrant.

“You did something stupid,” she said. She climbed up onto the bed and sat beside his legs. “It only felt right that I should match you in stupidity. I’m never doing it again, it’s terribly human.”

His dark eyes fell on her and roved over her with suspicion. He reached out to her and she took his hand. Slowly, he led her to straddle his lap as he sat up. Her hand stroked his masked cheek.

“You never asked what I was,” she murmured. “Why?”

“It didn’t matter,” he said with a shake of his head. “I trusted you. I do trust you.”

“Bold of you,” she hummed. Her nails trailed along the pulse in his neck. “Trusting a demon.”

“You saved my life,” he said, full of that earnest nature that she adored so much. “I’ll trust you as long as I live.”

“Ask me,” she breathed. She leaned into him, cupped his face in her hands. “Ask me what I am.”

His hands went to her waist and she could feel him swallow.

“What are you?”

“A demon,” she said, an amused lilt to her voice. His hands squeezed her and she smiled at him. Her hands trailed down his chest and slowly undid the zipper of his soft vest. “Yours. So often, when humans speak of love, they speak of the love of angels as though it’s so pure. As if it’s the only love. It’s foolish.”

She tutted and caressed his face again. His hands trailed under the loose shirt she wore and caressed her heated skin.

“I burn for you,” she said. Her confident tone wavered as she looked at him. “And I do not want to be without you, my unexpected love. I think I would go cold. Can I show you? Can I be with you?”

Uno nodded and rose with her as she captured his mouth with her own. She ripped the sheets from him and made quick work of his clothing. The frantic energy they created stripped them to stand on equal grounds. Her mouth laved kisses along the flesh of his chest and when she took him into her mouth, his hips nearly shot off the bed.

Her hands held him down as her tongue traced the throbbing vein that ran the entirety of his length. She didn’t mind the way his hands pulled and pushed at her hair, her head. His choked moans coaxed a grin out of her and when he came with a ragged shout down her throat, she swallowed him whole. She trailed back up to kiss his neck, gently biting the meat of his shoulder. His hand slid down her torso and settled in the junction of her slick thighs. He surprised her by flipping them and settling her back against the bed. The lights went dark and she gasped when she felt his tongue trace up her wet slit, curl around her sensitive bud.

Perhaps her tongue had not been that difficult to learn.

Uno had her toes curling and her lungs heaving by the time she came. He certainly was a quick study. His mouth found hers and she was surprised to feel that he had foregone his mask. His hands kneaded her breasts and she felt him hard once more against her. Her thighs wrapped around his hips and he grunted as he teased her with the head of his cock.

“Lover, please,” she begged. Hells, how she wanted him. It was torture and paradise to burn so heavily with lust. “I want you, I want you.”

His initial thrust into her was slow and then his impatience got the better of him. Old, wicked words flowed from her mouth into his ear and urged him on. He repaid her in kind, French heavy on his tongue as he bucked into her. Squeezed her flesh and marked her skin with his lips, with his teeth. He panted into her pulse and she felt the way his hips stuttered, the way he pulsed inside her. He hefted her hips up higher and ground down deeper into her. The sudden sensation against her clit had her arms tightening around him, her thighs locking around him. Her nails raked down his sweaty back and gripped the muscle of his ass.

They came together with an unholy shout, their mouths locked together as their hips waxed and waned against one another before gradually coming to rest. The room remained dark as she gathered him against her chest and he slid out of her. He rested his forehead between her breasts and breathed hard.

“I…” She suddenly said, her nerves gathered in her throat. “I would like to stay with you. I don’t want to go back.”

He answered her with a kiss and lingered there.

“Then stay,” Uno said. “Be a part of us or just be a part of me, it’s your choice. I want you here, however you want to be.”

She smiled at that.

“Of course, lover.”