#I love AI and am conscious of the problems and bad things it brings

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[crue-sixx]

Perfect (Steve Rogers/Captain America Imagine)

Summary: You’re feeling less than perfect, but Steve Rogers thinks otherwise.

There are NO Endgame spoilers in this.

Y/E/C - your eye color

Y/L/N - your last name

You sighed in frustration as you continued to rummage through your closet, not being able to find a single thing appropriate enough to wear for the event you would be attending. The event being Tony Stark’s birthday bash. Anyone that knew Tony knew that he went all out when it came to parties and his own birthday was no exception. You bought a dress for the occasion weeks ago when you went out shopping with Natasha, but deemed it unworthy at the very last minute so there you were trying to find something else to wear...anything!

The problem was that you were being too critical. You didn’t think you looked good in anything. You thought of yourself as too...plain. Nothing stood out about you. Especially when you were surrounded by a group of such extraordinary people, the Avengers. They all had special abilities and not to mention they were all extremely attractive. You didn’t have one special ability and you didn’t consider yourself to be in the attractive category. You didn’t know how they considered you a part of their team and a good friend. Sure, you worked with them and helped them strategize during missions. You also lived with them all in the Avengers tower, but still.

You pulled out yet another dress and looked it over critically. You put it back in its rightful place before you groaned.

“That’s it,” you told yourself. “I’m not going. I’m making up some lame excuse and I’m not going. I’ll just apologize to Tony and give him his gift later. It’s not like I’ll be missed anyways.”

You walked out of your closet and was just about to take your robe off to put on some more comfortable clothes when there was a knock on your door, making you pause in your actions.

“Who is it, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You asked.

“It is Mr. Rogers,” the AI responded after a moment.

Your eyes widened slightly and you sighed. You had completely forgotten that you were supposed to be Steve’s date for the night during your meltdown. Why he had even asked you to attend the party with him was beyond you. He could ask literally any other girl and they would attend it with him. He was Steve Rogers aka Captain America for crying out loud! It was a last minute thing. Steve and you had become close friends over the time you had worked together. You imagined that he had felt bad that you would be going alone so he asked you out of pity. You never went out on dates or anything like that so of course he knew that you would be attending Tony’s party alone. He also knew how uncomfortable you felt going to events such as these alone. He was such a nice guy.

A nice guy that you were completely in love with, but you thought he was out of your league so you never told him.

You checked your robe to make sure that it was tied securely before you walked over to the door. You were glad that you had already done your makeup and hair so that you didn’t look a complete mess in front of the handsome man. You took a deep breath before you finally opened the door and found Steve stood there looking as handsome as ever. He was wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt and a black tie. His hair was done perfectly and he was clean shaven for the event.

“Hey,” he greeted you with that smile of his that made you weak in the knees. He looked you up and down, noticing you were still wearing your robe. “Am I early?”

You looked down at the ground and self consciously gripped the robe around your neck to close it more before you sighed. “No, you’re right on time. It’s just...well, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Not going to be able to make it?” He asked curiously and you could see his brows knitting together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just not feeling well so I think I should stay in for the night,” you told him. It wasn’t a complete lie. You were feeling overly self conscious and that wasn’t feeling well...right?

“Really?” He asked. “Come on. I know when you’re lying, Y/N. Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on here.”

You let out another sigh and mentally face palmed. Of course he would know when you were lying. Steve knew you all too well and he was good at reading people...for the most part. You moved over and opened the door wider to let him inside since it seemed he would not be dropping the subject so easily. He walked inside and you shut the door before you leaned back on it and crossed your arms over your chest. He stood there quietly and patiently, waiting for you to explain what was going on.

“I can’t find anything to wear,” you finally mumbled and looked down at the ground, not being able to look at Steve. It seemed easier that way.

“That’s a lie,” Steve easily replied. “There’s a dress right there on your bed and you told me yourself that you bought a dress for this party.”

“Yeah, well, I decided last minute that it doesn’t look good or fit right so now I’m stuck with nothing to wear, which means no party for me.”

Steve stood there for a moment before he sighed and moved his hands into the pockets of his pants. “I can’t help but feel like there’s something more to this.”

“Steve, there’s nothing more to it.”

“Y/N, we’re friends, right?” He asked and you nodded. “So please don’t shut me out like this and try to play this off so casually. There’s something going on and I can tell there is. Please just talk to me.”

You stood there silently for a few long moments before you finally decided to lift your gaze up to look at Steve. He was looking right back at you, not in an intimidating way. He was just wearing a curious look upon that handsome face of his. For some reason you felt the need to tell him what was going on inside your head.

“It’s just...I’m not good enough, Steve,” you told him and he looked at you quizzically. “I’m not good enough to be attending a Tony Stark party, I’m not good enough to be staying here with all of you, I’m not good enough to be working with the Avengers...let alone to be friends with them...to be friends with you. I know you just asked me to go with you tonight because you felt sorry for me.”

“What?” He asked. “What are you talking about?”

You let out yet another sigh and felt your eyes begin to water, but you were trying to hold the tears back. You seemed pathetic enough already. No need to make it worse.

“Steve, there is absolutely nothing special about me. I’m not pretty and I’m certainly not harboring any special abilities. I look in the mirror and I don’t like the person who’s staring back at me. I’d like to just change, but I can’t. I’m just...me. I don’t have anything to offer anyone.”

So much for trying to hold those tears back. They started falling from your eyes and down your cheeks. You couldn’t believe that you had told all of that to Steve. You felt ashamed and embarrassed. You wiped at your eyes and began to make your way to the bathroom to hide out, but Steve grabbed your wrist gently before you could make it far. You closed your eyes and stayed facing away from him.

“Please let me go, Steve.”

“No,” he simply said before he turned you to face him and pulled you closer. You didn’t dare look up at him or open your eyes for that matter. “Please look at me.”

You shook your head and bit your lip before you felt him put his finger under your chin. He lifted your head up and you sucked in a breath before you finally opened your eyes. You found his soft blue eyes looking back into your Y/E/C. He wore a sad expression as he used his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

“Y/N, I-I had no idea you felt this way,” he spoke softly. “Listen to me because what I’m about to tell you is the truth whether you believe it or not. You are an amazing girl. You are good enough. You’re more than good enough.”

You shook your head at his words, but he held your face in his hands gently to keep you from doing so. “No, listen to me. You are so beautiful...inside and out. You’re absolutely perfect and I would never, never want you to change. You’re so special, Y/N, and I cant believe you don’t see that. We all love you. I love you. I love you more than a friend should love another friend actually.”

Everything Steve was saying was making you cry even more, but not from sadness. You didn’t know Steve thought so much of you. You would’ve thought he was lying if it wasn’t for how truthful he sounded and for how determined he seemed to make you believe him. Something that really stood out to you was his last statement. Your heart pounded in your chest and you looked at him questioningly.

“This seems like as good a time as any to tell you,” he said and moved his hands down to your own so that he could hold them as he continued looking at you. “I’m in love with you, Y/N Y/L/N. I have been for a while now, but I was too scared to tell you before now. I thought it would be inappropriate and I didn’t know if you felt the same way that I do. I didn’t ask you to this party because I felt sorry for you. I asked you to go with me because I genuinely wanted to bring you as my date.”

Your eyes widened and your heart definitely began to pound even harder in your chest. You wouldn’t have been surprised if Steve could hear it. Did Steve Rogers really just tell you that he was in love with you? You’d only ever imagined this happening in your dreams, but it was actually happening.

“Please say something,” he whispered as he squeezed your hands in his own.

You finally pulled yourself out of your thoughts and looked at him. Your tears finally stopped and all you could do was smile at him. “Steve...I love you too. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

Steve seemed relieved and smiled wide before he let go of your hands, wrapping his arms around you instead as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He began to lean down and you knew what was about to happen. You began to lean up as your eyes closed till your lips finally met. As cliche as it might sound, you felt that spark everyone talks about. It was amazing. His lips were soft against your own and he deepened the kiss, which you allowed gratefully. The kiss seemed to last for hours, which was really only minutes. When you finally pulled apart, you rested your foreheads against each other. You opened your eyes and found his blues ones looking right back into your Y/E/C ones.

You smiled and bit your lip. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that to happen.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “I wasn’t either, but I’m glad it did.”

“Me too,” you replied.

He gave your lips a another peck before he stood straight again. “Now how about we go down to that party so that I can show off my beautiful date. You might can even talk me into a dance.”

You giggled and nodded. “Okay, just let me fix myself and put on my dress.”

“Doll, you don’t need to fix a thing about yourself. You’re perfect to me.”

[teachanarchy]

From Antifa International

Many people are familiar with the Good Night White Pride logo – a silhouette image of an anti-racist kicking a neo-nazi in the head.  But few people know that the image comes from a photo taken at a 1998 counterprotest of a KKK rally in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  Last year, we ran an article detailing the history of the GNWP photo, but we weren’t able to find out who the anti-racist in the famous photo was.

Then a few weeks ago, when we were contacted by the gentleman introducing his foot to a KKK supporter’s head in the photo. Here is what Harlon Jones told us:

Antifa International: Who were you in ‘98?

Harlon Jones: In 1998, I was 18, and was working at this store on-campus.  Two years before some people I went to school with had shut down the Klan when they tried to do the same thing.  One of my good friends was arrested at that event.  So then, in ‘98, I would see the posters all around campus “come out on Saturday, we’re going to fight against the KKK.” So naturally I was telling all my friends that we needed to get down there and get into it and see what’s going on. Everyone was always sitting around talking about how they feel about stuff and we’d always say that we could sit around and be as conscious or informed as we want to about a situation but as long as it was just us sitting here, then that’s going absolutely nowhere.

AI: So you saw a disconnect between being conscious and taking action?

HJ: Absolutely.  Especially now, when it’s so easy for people to just post something and then forget about the whole issue.  Back then it was more imperative to be out there physically.  To me, it just seemed like something that I had to be a part of.

AI: Had you ever been at anything like that counter-protest before?

HJ: I used to do non-profit work with my uncle in California. And we used to do different stuff in the city, where my father and my aunties used to try to make sure that we were aware of what was going on around us.  But as far as that kind of confrontation – that was kind of new to me.  But when I saw the posters, I said to myself “I gotta be there!”

The beautiful thing about the demo was all the different faces and different races that came out.  I’ll always remember this really small college girl – I think she was Latina maybe – screaming at the top of her lungs with her fist in the air.  And that’s what it was – people who really believed in what they were doing were right there, all together!

So I go down to the union building on-campus and they’re handing out blue bandanas and lawyers are handing out their cards, telling us they’ll defend us for free if we’re arrested.  From there, we all starting marching downtown.  I remember us chanting “KKK! COME TO OUR TOWN?  WHAT DO WE DO?  SHUT ‘EM DOWN!”  Then we got to city hall there was all the riot police with their shields, and fences with barbed wire on top all set up.  This was the first time I had seen that level of police activity.

Then there were these people called the “peace keepers.”  They had yellow jackets and they wanted us to calm down and go somewhere else and sing “Kumbaya” and shit.

AI: How’d that go over with people?

HJ: Really not well.  People were shunning them, telling them to get the hell out of there.  But at this time, there’s really nothing going on.  People are standing around.  And I’m like “where’s the action?”  And people are trying to figure out where the KKK are at.

Then all of a sudden, I saw people running in the other direction, so I ran that way and there’s like five people chasing the guy you see in the picture, his friend, and one of their girlfriends.  One of them had been approached and asked if they were KKK and he said yes.  So we were kinda chasing them and the smaller guy and his girl got away but the other, bigger guy – it just felt like everybody backed up for one millisecond and I just came in and kicked him.

And I’ll never forget that right after that someone came up to me and said “Yo!  They’re taking pictures of you man! Change hats with me!” So for the rest of the day, I didn’t even have the same hat.

But to me that was a small incidental part of the day.  Even though the image is what it is.  After that, we all went back to the thing and it was amazing how the crowd just starting communicating with each other.  The crowd was like “we’re going to get up to the gate and we’re going to take it down!”  So you just saw people moving in small groups towards the gate and we attempted to take the gate down.  And the peace keepers were literally on their hands and knees under the gates, trying to keep us from taking the gate down.

And then, just like before, the crowd started talking, saying that there was a second, smaller gate behind city hall.  So we started moving over there in small groups of twos and threes.  The police tried to come from the inside but it was a much smaller gate. There was a rock garden across the street.  Everybody just went over there and grabbed rocks and hurled them at the cops.  It was the best scene I’ve ever seen in my life – the cops retreating!  I swear to God, I’ve never seen anything more fulfilling than the cops running away like that.

So we rip down the gate and we’re passing it through the crowd and cheering and then the cops come back shooting tear gas, but shooting them at people.  Like my boy Michael took one right in the chest.  When it was all over, we marched back down the street, kind of in victory, you know?  So me and Michael and a couple of people hung out and had some beers and talked about the day – everybody’s adrenaline was so high, you know?  The goal was to have the KKK never come back to Ann Arbor again.  And we achieved that.

I didn’t even think about that one incident until the next day, when people started calling me about the photo.  I was getting ready for work when a friend of mine from work called me and said “yeah, you’re on the front page of the paper!”  And I was like “get the hell out of here!” but she said “I’m dead serious, bro!”  So I rushed down to work and get there I see that I am on the front page.  So instantly I grab one of the razors off the shelf and head down to the bathroom and shave all the hair off my face and stuff.  Because all the police used to come in the store every day and they all knew me.  They knew that was me, everyone knew it was me!  And the crazy part about that was that they were so scared to prosecute me and have all this negative press on the university itself, they didn’t even pursue me.  Not at all.

AI: That’s weird, because the cops went after people pretty hard after the fact.

HJ: But they saw me on a daily basis and didn’t pursue me. You gotta understand, at the time the university had a real problem with race relations and I feel like arresting me was a war they didn’t want to fight.  I was literally the easiest person to find and they did nothing.

AI: How did other people react to the photo? HJ: I mean, everybody loves me, you know?  To this day, I have friends that are so proud of that whole situation that they have me come over and tell the story to their kids at dinner, just so they know that they don’t have to be scared to go out there and do something.

AI: What do you think about people that would say you were wrong for doing what you did that day?

HJ: You have to be very comfortable with the decisions that you make.  So for someone to tell me what I did was wrong, I would ask them, whatever they believe in, when was the last time they did anything besides have a conversation about it?

In the community, people sit around and talk about the hot topic, and I’m always like, “well, if you’re not going to do anything about it, how can you claim to be so passionate about it, something you’re not even willing to sacrifice something for?”

So I’m willing to take that!  If I’m the bad guy for standing fighting against ignorance and racism and all that shit, hell yeah, fuck it – I’ll be the bad guy for that! AI: Did you see our post last year about the Good Night White Pride image & its history?

HJ: This came to my attention when a friend saw some post about which U.S. state hates blacks the most, and the illustration was a photo of this nazi with three patches on his back.  One of the patches was that Good Night Left Side logo.

So my homeboy took a screen shot and sent me the photo and was like “Yo!  What the fuck is this?  Nazis is rocking your shit?”  And he posted it on facebook and he was like “Tell me that’s not Harlon kicking a nazi in the teeth!” Everyone was tripping out about this.  So when I got it I had to google it to find out what this was about.  And finding out that they were using it to try to counteract antifa, that’s how I came to find out about you guys and stuff.”

AI: So you didn’t know about GNWP until you saw the photo of the nazi with the logo on his back?

HJ: Absolutely.  My best friend was like “you should really reach out to these people and tell them your story because there’s a lot of people out there that do the work that went behind that image, you know!”  And I was hella humbled, you know, like you never expect anything like that.  I mean, from a situation that I thought was so isolated in my eyes, and it’s going on twenty years now.  So I was just so humbled.  It felt so amazing.

AI: You weren’t aware that the photo had been turned into one of the most famous anti-racist logos out there?

HJ: Absolutely not.

AI: Now you’ve seen the neo-nazis’ version.  What did you think about that?

HJ: I thought it was hilarious.  Just the irony of it – you can’t make that up.  We actually checked out some hate forums and people were actually bringing up that maybe they should know where the photo comes from.  And they don’t give a shit – you know, ignorance is bliss. But I thought it was crazy how somebody could be promoting this image and be so ignorant about where it came from.  And they wear it with pride!  But I was really glad to know that it originated from the right place, from people doing the right thing.

AI: Any long-term blowback for you over the last eighteen years?

HJ: Not really, no.  I do a lot of non-profit work with young men and sometimes I use it to talk about focusing anger people might have over things or to give someone the confidence to know that no matter what goes on, if you’re fighting for right, you go out and do that shit!

AI: A lot of people around the world have been really inspired by that image to take up the fight against fascism and racism where they live.  Is there anything that you’d want to say to them?

HJ: It makes me feel so humbled.  It almost brings me to tears just thinking about it!  More than any dream I could ever have in my life, it would be to have that kind of impact – not just on one person, but on a group of people worldwide!  That’s so humbling because I’m just like them!  No matter where we are or if we speak the same language – I’m just like them.  And if seeing that is what it takes to get them to be ready to fight, physically or mentally, for the right thing?

Man, I salute everybody that’s out there rocking it; everybody that’s out there going and doing something behind that.  I salute that and I support that and I will physically come and support that, any organization that’s out there fighting for right!

In celebration of Harlon’s famous kick, we’re doing a limited edition run of GNWP shirts & hoodies, with all proceeds going to The International Anti-Fascist Defence Fund.  Get yours NOW!