#I honestly don't even know what to categorize this in

[valentinedagger]

you know, now that i'm thinking about it, i'm a little displeased with the people who've said things to me like "okay, but come on, where are you finding all these trans women that use he/him or don't want to medically transition?" people who have acted like it's a wild, crazy outlier to find a transfem person who has a complicated or positive relationship to testosterone, or to having a penis or facial hair, or who uses he/him or a "masculine" name, or who isn't interested in medical transition at all.

one of the most globally recognizable authors i can think of is a trans woman who isn't interested in medically transitioning or publicly using pronouns other than he/him! you can't honestly tell me this is a crazy-rare scenario that you'd never reasonably expect to encounter in the wild, right? i mean, certainly, you can write off my personal anecdotal experiences as sampling bias -- sure, every single transfem person i know fits at least one of those criteria, and most of them several, but that can be written off as bias from being nonbinary myself.

but a usa today bestselling author and internet personality has nothing to do with me, besides both of us being profoundly autistic -- and that isn't even counting the public figures i can think of off the top of my head who are openly nonbinary, like ezra miller or sam smith or grant morrison or johnathan van ness or -- well, frankly, anyone in the public eye who gets consistently categorized as a "cisgender man" regardless of how insistent they are about their actual genders. there are actually a lot of these people, i think? if you perceive transfeminine people as automatically interested in conforming to the societal idea of what a woman dresses, looks, and acts like, that might be more of a statement about who you view as "really transfem" than it is about the breadth of common transfeminine experiences in the world.

[reinemichele]

Okay well I queued a reblog of a post & in the tags mentioned my mom's reaction to sanhora but I forgot about how when I was trying to show her how cool the greek in moira is, she was like "But how do you know when it's in greek???"

And I Didn't know how to respond . like I was like "... You memorize it after a while" but 😭 I Still don't know how to answer that??? Because every explanation sounds patronizing, like OH WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW THE ETYMOLOGY OF[...] but that's my answer 😭

Like... audibly, phonetically? I... know which words are which language, like

[Not the greek . obviously]

The written lyrics are using jpn words, but you can hear the difference when an eng word is used, same with any other language you can audibly identify, like even if you're not super familiar with french you can pick out the word pierre? Or put "bien chance" together? [Also not greek]

In terms of greek...

So monos is like, alone, solitary... and you don't even really need to be familiar with greek, just know the word lycanthropy, to get lykos and when you put it together Μονος λυκος Ελευσευς is Lone Wolf Elefseus

I could go on but like, you get it; a lot of it is contextual and uses root words that influenced the meaning/spelling of several iterations of words we still use (which I think is very fun and interesting, so I like learning about it, not bc I want to be a patronizing know it all 💀)

[cannibal-walleye]

First Meeting

"You guys shoulda seen it!" Impulse proclaimed loudly, tail swinging wildly with excitement. "I mean, Tango was great, but the lead singer—" The demon whistled.

"That good, huh?" Gem asked with a look that promised teasing should Impulse say much more.

He didn't heed the warning. "Yes, that good! I wish you guys had come; it actually blew me away. Like, the drums and piano blended perfectly, and so many of the songs made me want to start dancing right then and there," he gushed, pausing only for a moment to take a sip from his water bottle.

Scott, meanwhile, waved his phone at him, the screen displaying a pink heart that was on fire. "This is the same Heart Foundation you saw, right?"

"You found their insta already!" the demon beamed, reaching to grab it before the blizz snatched the phone away, blizz rods whirling happily.

"A'course I did, I am a professional. We need to do as much research as we can on your new crush before he can have our approval," Scott teased, scrolling through photos and posts.

"It's not a crush," he pouted, though he didn't bother with defending the claim against Gem's snort.

The warden peeked over Scott's shoulder, watching the photos fly past. "You said he's an angel, right?" she asked, glancing back at Impulse. She picked up her cocktail, taking a sip while the demon replied.

"Yeah, an angel. He's got these massive white wings, plus little pink ones on the sides of his head���though, I don't know if that was the lighting or dye or natural. Either way, they matched his suit perfectly, I didn't know it was possible for someone to look so good in hot pink! And- and! He's absolutely jacked, his arms were like the barrel of a cannon—and his hair also had hot pink streaks in it, and-"

"Like this?" Scott cut him off before he could ramble more, showing a photo of the angel, his arm slung around Tango as both of them laughed at the camera. He wasn't wearing the pink suit, just a tank top and sweats, but damn, if he didn't look just as hot, scars and muscles on full display.

Impulse's tail curled happily, a purr rumbling in his chest. "Yes, that's him! What does it say? Is his name on there, any other info about their next performance—though, I could just ask Tango when I see him-"

"You don't even know his name?" Gem interrupted, incredulous.

"I was distracted, okay?" he tried to defend, feeling a blush creeping up his cheeks. "I was taking a video for Tango while he was introducing everyone, and his voice was just so smooth, I couldn't really focus on the actual words. It's not my fault!"

They just giggled at him, Gem's elbow coming up to prod Scott, who looked up from the phone. Surprise flashed across his face, but it quickly turned to a teasing grin to match Gem's.

"You were distracted, hmm? Too busy eyeing up the hot angel to pay any attention?" the blizz asked, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"I think so," the warden agreed before Impulse could defend himself. "Enamored with a complete stranger, our little Impy's all grown up~" she teased, eyes narrowing as though daring him to disagree.

He rolled his eyes, taking another long drink from his water; playing earlier had really left him drained, but not quite drained enough to sit out Tango's performance, despite Gem and Scott abandoning him to go get drinks. Impulse sighed happily, the image of the angel silhouetted by the backlighting still fresh in his mind, not to mention the memory of his voice. He'd need to ask the blaze hybrid later how they had met.

"So what if I am?" he argued, hands coming up to rub away the growing flush on his face. "I mean, he's friends with Tango, so he's gotta at least be a chill dude, plus he was so funny during the show, he interacted with the audience perfectly—honestly, Gem, you should be taking notes."

Her mouth fell open in amused shock, while Scott's smirk only deepened. They shared a glance, one that Impulse recognized well enough by now to know that they were categorically not going to drop this any time soon. Not that he cared; he was happy to keep rambling about what an amazing performance the niche band had put on; Impulse could recognize good music when he heard it.

"I don't know, I think you might be a tad biased," the blizz said, the frosty sparkle in his eyes refusing to disappear given Impulse's enthusiasm.

Gem nodded. "Definitely. You just think he's hot, you want to find a quiet spot where you two can kiss and-"

"Gem!" Impulse interrupted, flush deepening at the implications. "I don't even know if he likes guys," he retorted, wilting a little at the thought. Not that it mattered; he didn't know the guy, it's not like he'd somehow end up in a situation where hooking up was even possible.

"I dunno..." Scott drawled, eyes shifting to glance over the demon's shoulder. He grinned again at Impulse's embarrassment. "I feel like he'd be open to that sort of thing."

"And how would you know?" he snapped back, suddenly very self-conscious, as though the two of them were in on a joke that he didn't get. They did love to tease him, and it wasn't often that Impulse got a crush—not that this was a crush!

Gem just snorted while Scott waved the phone. "Instagram," he answered shortly, still smirking.

"But you didn't even answer the question!" the warden accused, taking another drink.

"What question?"

"Would you kiss him if you could?"

"Gem-" he tried to argue, hiding his blush with a hand again.

"Just answer! You never tell us about your love life, it's only fair," she insisted, giving him an intense and expecting look, one that warned against any arguing.

"I don't know him," the demon sputtered. "I guess I would, but I'd want to get to know him first, maybe take him out to dinner..." he trailed off, eyebrows furrowed at the thought. It really wasn't all that unrealistic that Impulse could meet the angel, since Tango could introduce them. But the odds of the guy actually being interested in anything?

"I was going to offer to buy you a drink, but I think it might have to be the other way around," came a deep voice from behind him.

The demon nearly jumped out of his skin.

Right in front of him was the angel, in the flesh, very close up and personal and—fuck, he was even hotter in person, suit torn at the sleeves and unbuttoned at the top, showing off his arms and chest. He was leaning against the bar, a stereotypical smolder painting his features, blue eyes dark as they looked the demon up and down.

Impulse short circuited.

He was stammering something, but he wasn't sure what—a greeting? An apology? How much had the angel heard, did he think Impulse was weird, did he-

"I'm asking if I can buy you a drink," the angel clarified, smirk fading into a more serious expression as he repeated the offer.

"I, uh-" The demon's mouth went dry. "I can't, I have to drive later," he answered weakly, brain still not catching up to the fact that the guy was hitting on him.

"No, you don't," Gem denied cheerily, the smile in her voice clear even though Impulse's back was turned. "We'll get an uber. Go have fun, enjoy yourself~"

He looked back up at the angel, who was now giving him the sweetest, most encouraging smile, and swallowed thickly. He nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I- I'd love a drink," he managed, still unbearably flustered, tail curling in on itself.

The man grinned, the wings on his head puffing up happily—that's adorable—as he offered an arm to the demon.

Impulse took it, letting the angel lead him away to order drinks.

"Just be back by hotel checkout at ten tomorrow!" Scott called after them.

---

So that's their first meeting! I also want to write Skizz's first impression of Impulse and his pov of this encounter at some point, and potentially even extend the scene a little further when we see him ;)

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And if there's any questions about anyone in this au, feel free to drop an ask <3

[ros3ybabes]

🎀 Workout Youtubers

I currently do exclusively pilates and yoga workouts from youtube. However, I've done other body weight workouts with various youtube videos and seen results in the past. Here is my list of workout youtubers that you could check out! I will put a * next to my personal favorites! I will include a short list of my current at home workout equipment at the end as well as some items I plan on buying soon!

With any workout program or routine, always be safe, check with your doctor if necessary, and if something doesn't feel good or right, don't do it! No matter what your goals are, it's always important to be safe and stay healthy. Please always take care of yourselves and know how beautiful, worthy and valuable you are no matter what! I love you all <333

🩷 Pilates

Move with Nicole * (also posts occasionally barre and yoga videos as well! I love her videos so so much)

Madeleine Abeid

IsaWelly

Pilatesbodyraven

Lidia Mera

Lottie Murphy

Amanda Blauer

Margaret Elizabeth

Jessica Valant Pilates

Bailey Brown

Dansique Fitness

Flow with Mira

Sivi (she's began posting some pilates inspired workouts and to my knowledge is currently getting certified as an instructor)

🩷 Yoga

Yoga with Adriene *

Yoga with Bird

Boho Beuatiful Yoga

🩷 Bodyweight Fitness/Strength/HIIT

Chloe Ting * (I don't like the click bait, but I like the workouts)

Blogilates

Pamela Reif *

Madfit *

Lilly Sabri * (Some of her videos are titled with pilates, but the older ones I used to do were not pilates, so I categorized her here)

Emi Wong

Shirlyn Kim

Vivian Yuan

April Han

growingannanas

growwithjo * (I love her walking workouts)

Hinafit

Mish Choi

Sami Clarke

Elenifit

Coach Kel (she posts what looks like more barre, ballet, pilates inspored/fusion workouts it seems)

Caroline Girvan

TRAIN WITH GAINSBYBRAINS

Daisy Keech

🎀 Current At Home Workout Equipment I Own

Thick Yoga Mat - since I do mainly yoga and pilates my thick yoga may (amazon brand) has served me well. Even tho I am a heavier woman at the moment, I've never had pain or any issues with this mat, and it came with a carry strap which I love! A good, thick workout mat is definitely necessary for working out at home for comfort, safety, etc. Make sure to disinfect it on occasion, especially if you sweat on it a lot!

Resistance Bands - I have about 3 or 4 at different resistance strengths, and they're incredibly useful for a variety of movements, especially lower body ones. They add some extra resistance and make the workouts a bit more challenging when you need something more advanced. I also got mine from Amazon/Walmart a while back. I prefer fabric over rubber because I like to wear workout shorts instead of workout leggings.

Pilates Ball - not a necessity, but useful with some pilates workouts and movements. I have seen sole videos using this, but am not advanced enough to try it on my own yet. Will use for sure once I'm more advanced.

3lb dumbbells - I thought these would be useful for the pilates workouts that had some upper body focus, and as someone who wants to develop a lean and toned upper body, they are perfect for low weight high rep, controlled movements. Again, not advanced enough to use as I want to master my form, but they're gonna come in handy for sure!

Foam Roller - so so good for stretching and muscle recovery on rest days. I love mine but want one that has the bump things on it to help my muscles more. I can imagine how good it'll feel on my legs during a recovery day when I begin wieght lifting again.

Massage Gun - my holy grail for the days I am sore and needing some recovery. my body feels like jelly after using this, and it's just so nice for the days my muscles feel extra tight and super sore.

🎀 Equipment I Want To Buy

Yoga Blocks - these will help me get deeper into the yoga poses once I get more advanced in my practice

Pilates Ring - this honestly looks so fun and challenging to use, I'd love to add it to my collection of useful workout equipment!

Jump Rope - I used to love this as a form of cardio and as long as I don't move into an upstairs apartment, I'm definitely buying one

Pilates Bar - still iffy on this one, it's supposed to mimic a reformer but I want to get better at mat pilates and see if I even end up ever needing or seriously wanting to buy it, its on my list tho

Ankle/Wrist weights - these are gonna be so useful for workouts where hand held dumbbells aren't useful. Want to buy some low weight ones just to help with resistance and extra strength during pilates workouts

Kettlebell weight - I think this would be useful for a workout at home type situation if and when I switch to not doing just pilates and yoga. I know these are useful in their own right, but not needed in my current fitness stage of life.

Core Sliders - these look fun and interesting. They're on my lost for sure, but not sure about the practicality of their use in my life just yet.

That's all that's currently on my at home workout equipment list! As someone who primarily works out at home, the things I currently own are most useful and most of what's on this list is for fun or extra challenge. Just not necessary yet.

hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any questions about my favorite youtuber workout instructors or favorite videos, please feel free to ask, I've tried so many and can give some guidance from my own experience and research.

til next time lovelies 🩷

[reddesires]

Bucky Barnes Headcanons

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Tags: soft!Bucky, established relationship, sexual content, overall fluffy

A/N: Here's some headcanons I categorize with Bucky. It's mainly cutesy boyfriend vibes that I think he would exude when those therapy sesh' finally hit lol

○ He has the most expressive eyes, it definitely gives him away no matter how hard he tries. The slight scrutinized scrunch of his nose and squint when he's trying so hard not to judge or not even bothering to, Bro is so judgy but honestly, he usually has every right to be. But more often than not, he has the softest eyes directed towards you, borderline puppy dog eyes that melt you from inside out and you just want to kiss him every time he gives that doe eyed look, he knows the effect it has on you though he'd never admit just how much he uses it to his advantage.

○He only allows you to cut his hair, otherwise he's cutting it by himself. You've come to understand that he feels particularly vulnerable with anything to do with his head and he definitely has strong boundaries about it. You are the only one he unconditionally trusts with cutting his hair, touching his neck and gentle hair pulling. He practically purrs when you play with his hair, lightly scratching your nails along his scalp, like yeah, mans is out like a light. And God, don't get him started on the rewarding neck kisses you give him when he asks you to cut his hair. You pavlov'd him, and he's absolutely screwed.

○ You've learned to be attentive to him, he's the kind of person that more often than not will suffer in silence just so he doesn't burden anyone. It damn near breaks your heart to think of how far he's willing to go just to protect you from his struggles in fear that it would be too much than you can handle. So you have to be lovingly stern, reminding him that you're not going to stand by while he is in pain, that he's yours and you're willing to do anything for him, he's not a burden, he's the love of your life. 

And the man was too stunned to speak! 

That's one sure fire way to get him all misty eyed and lip trembly, and he's finally telling you what he needs or what's been ailing him, all whilst allowing you to take him into your arms.

○ His Love Language minus as well be all of them, an old school kind of love. A love that can't be contained and must be expressed in every way he can possibly express it whether that be through touch, gifts, acts of service, you can bet your ass he's gonna do it. He's a man that was molded by his father's love for his mother, regaining those precious memories of how much his Pa would dote on his Ma fueled that sense of expectation he held for himself when it came to his love for you. And you're so touched and utterly in love with this man that you pick up all the love languages for him too. It deepens your bond and it can't be helped, being in love looks good on the both of you.

○ He finds your scent comforting, there's something about it that soothes him both mentally and physically. He used to be embarrassed when he caught himself breathing your scent in deeply whenever you were within his close proximity but now he'll unashamedly bury his nose into your hair and inhale your scent greedily, all the tension from his body draining out of him by the second and you don't mind it at all because as your face is pressed against his strong chest, his scent invading all your senses, it's borderline heaven. Leather, aftershave and his own natural smell filling your lungs and making your head go fuzzy, his arms pinning your body against his as your knees go weak.

○ He picks up on your humor. He's already sassy and has a dry cut sense of humor but combined with your modern slang and jokes, he starts picking up on it naturally. Sam will tease him and claim that your a bad influence on him but it's all in good fun since he only gets more quick witted with his responses, every once and while he'd resort to his glare and stare when he doesn't have a good retort, you and Sam never pass up the opportunity to poke fun at him during those times.

○ Is the type to give a serious side eye towards others if they do any type of PDA all while pulling you into his side with smoothness, his arm lovingly wrapped around your shoulders. sometimes pressing a quick kiss to the side of your head just cause. The longer your relationship, the more bold he is when showing you affection in public, hand holding, quick kisses and flirting just cause he feels like it.

○ Let's you wear his dog tags, he trusts you so wholeheartedly that it feels right to see you wear the one most personal evidence of his past. The way he sees is that you-his future, is carrying a piece of his past and it's okay for him to be accepting of both, that it's okay for him to want more for himself than to keep mourning his past and all that he's lost when he can regain the love he's been longing for from you, the love you are so willing to give him each day.

And he loves the way the dog tags sway and clank against your body as you ride him. Like a second accessory to his metal hand that lightly grasps your neck, his thumb pressing on your jugular notch with gentle pressure. His flesh hand on your hip, guiding your hips movements pulling those delicious moans and the twinkling of the tags with every thrust of his hips slapping against you sinfully. His groans increasing and his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the sight of you, so achingly disheveled, so beautifully adorned with his damn dog tags. He's forever ruined by you.

○ A bookworm. If you're also a bookworm then reading together is his favorite bonding time with you, seeing you take a interest in what he's so enthralled by makes him a little flustered, a boyish grin pulling at his lips and a pink settling in the tops of his ears while he explains the plot of his newest read is worth more than any precious gem in this world. And he enjoys seeing your facial expressions as you get absorbed by the pulling words in your own book, the slight scrunch of your nose when your bewildered or the widening of your eyes when your curiosity has been sated, it's all so endearing to him and he wouldn't change it for the world. And when you ask him to read to you, you behold his heart within your hands as you lovingly gaze at him as he becomes your personal audio book.

○ He can be possessive and he can be jealous. Never does he take it out on you, he would never direct his distaste at you when someone flirts with you or looks at you in a way that makes his hair stand on end and clench his jaw. He could have the most deadliest glare directed towards someone who dared to get close to you and when you seek him out, needing to be within his bubble then he's all puppy dog eyes and gentle talk. You're not dumb, you can see the jealousy gleaming ominously in the stormy color of his eyes, the way his strong brow dips and shadows his face but by god, does it make the tingles in your stomach awry and your head fuzzy to see him in such a way. If he's particularly wound up then he's sticking to you, using his height and strong stature to intimidate any other person away from what is his.

○ Is absolutely your boy toy in the best way possible. Loves being pampered by you, allowing you to put your face masks and other facial products on him. Not minding your silly little game where you put red lipstick on just to leave kiss stains all over his face, he likes pulling you into a heated kiss so the lipstick smears and you look thoroughly disheveled afterwards.

He's absolutely a sucker for you and your antics and that little game of yours usually leads to red kiss stains trailing down his chest and down under the waistband of his sweats. A sinful ring of red from your lipstick at the base of his dick further cementing his willingness to your every whim.

○ He's all about you being independent, he in no way wants to control or make you feel incapable of anything so he watches from a distance, ready to step in whenever you need him. He's protective of what's his and he'll be damned if he lets anything happen to you on his watch. When you are being especially stubborn, he gentle parents you into seeing it more rationally which he can admit he's a hypocrite to because he can be so hard headed too, but he's a super soldier and he can take a harder hit and he prefers that you take no hit at all if it can be helped.

○ There's nowhere that compares to the safety he feels when he's in your arms. The tension is nowhere to be found when he's embracing you, his arms wrapped around your back and his face pressed into your chest. Feeling at ease enough to fall asleep, whether that's to take a nap or when it's about time to sleep for the night. He used to be anxious about sleeping next to you but when he found salvation in your arms at night, he couldn't bear the idea of not sleeping with you by his side. Missions away are especially hard for him so he took it upon himself to buy the scent you usually wear to spray on his pillow just to have some sort of comfort during those long nights.

[eldritch-spouse]

"Hey, so, I just escaped, I think, from being eaten? Or sold? Anywho, pretty sure I'm about to die, and I don't want to go out like that. And you seem like you know your stuff with drinks and all that! Do you think you could make a drink strong enough to kill me? But nicely? I can give you anything I have! Hell, just loot my body afterwards! I'm sure my phone could sell for a pretty penny! And I don't think it would be bad to go out by having a killer drink and a killer slime to look at!"

[Fem reader. How to rizz a lunatic 101.]

Gallon had been onto you for a while.

In spite of having only one eye at his disposal, the slime's field of vision and keen observational skills have always been one of his most useful attributes. There's hardly a monster in the floor he hasn't noticed and silently categorized. Which means, naturally, a loose human stands out like a sore, bleeding thumb.

In your defense, you're far from stupid. Trying to go as unnoticed as possible in such a big crowd, head hanging low under the hood of a dark jacket and posture reserved while you slink silently past larger figures, studying the smallest of possible openings. Technically, it's part of Gallon's job to report this, if he thinks you're about to escape. But no one's ever said the slime can't entertain himself a little.

Gallon works fluidly, keeping a persistent eye on you.

It's not surprising that you're hurt. Between the cuts and scrapes across your skin, the tear tracks drying on your cheeks and the tense jaw, he can tell you just wrestled your way out of death's maw. Honestly, the mere fact that you're not missing a chunk or a limb is miraculous. You're in great condition, all things considered.

He's not sure what you're thinking, nor does he get much time to theorize, because you suddenly lock eyes.

The bartender makes no secret of his attention, holding the contact for as long as you meet him head on. Although a shiver rattles your form, not an entirely uncommon reaction, you look... Determined.

Curious.

There's no shortage of anticipation and glee when you start walking Gallon's way.

Whatever will you do, realistically? Are you going to beg him for help? Try to wring information out him? You aren't carrying anything except torn clothing, defenseless and disoriented. Nevertheless, the bartender lives for these little instances of unpredictable chaos, the spice of his life, the burning kick to his favorite drinks.

You're allowed to take a seat and present yourself the same way most other customers would. Luck has it that the bar flies have mostly dispersed, disturbed by an obnoxious robot blaring music not too far away, a crowd of riled up monsters singing and hollering- Another thing that's helping you blend in seamlessly.

Gallon watches you lean in, the most befuddling ramble escaping your lips as you seemingly request he... Kill you. Gently. You even throw in a compliment, what a cheeky little thing. Such painfully clear awareness of your situation, paradoxically mixed with a melancholic sense of calm. You're processing your own demise before it even has its clutches upon you.

The slime's grin creeps higher, eery teeth seeming to elongate. An idea twists and twirls in his head, sparking into a scheme.

The monster's head cocks, attempting to study your features through the strategic shade of your hooded garb. Pretty lips attempt to placate him with a polite smile, but he can see the tremble in your eyes all the same. You have an interesting demeanor, he wouldn't mind seeing more of you. In fact, he dare say that you're one of the finer built humans out there, perhaps you're even more of a catch under all that ratty fabric...

" What a request. " He half-chuckles. " I hear you, it must be quite the day you're having. "

As if he didn't have the power to save you, right here, right now.

" Yeah... " Frantic doe eyes flicker every which way whenever someone passes by just a little too close. " The last one. "

Gallon imagines the stress has your throat too tight to drink anything to begin with.

" Relax, dear. " Malformed digits drum on a spotless counter. " You are now, on this one very special occasion, my client. No one will bother you. "

There's a look of cautious gratitude in your features. Like you don't quite believe him.

" Regardless- I think I may have just the thing. Could I interest you in a Hollowed Nectar? "

As expected, the look on your face is blank. A major portion of what he serves are monster-oriented drinks, the likes of which are either unknown to humans, or infamous for causing a variety of strange, oftentimes harmful effects in them.

" S... Sure? "

The slime snickers quietly, spare tendrils lunging to fetch ingredients and utensils behind him, a blur of familiar movement that causes your eyes to widen.

" It's a favorite around here, particularly for slothful folk. Incredibly relaxing, it helps them slip into long, lucid voyages that apparently greatly enhance their natural abilities. " Gallon begins, noting the hint of wonder you let slip. " Also just great to forcibly quell a panicking mind. "

He whips out a black crystal vintage glass, allowing you to stare at it.

His motions are proudly practiced, you can barely glimpse the odd elements that are gathered and sprinkled onto the luxurious glass before it fills with a concoction that gradually takes on a golden hue. The thing almost seems to sparkle, if you squint. The rim of the goblet-like glass is adorned with powdered sugar. It smells faintly of something rich and heavy, like peaches, honey... And caramelized candy?

To him, the drink was prepared in a standard amount of time, to you, it felt like a second passed.

The webbing-etched glass is placed on a purple coaster featuring The Clergy's Eye symbol, slowly edged towards you in its impeccable presentation. This is the type of drink a regular person would photograph and share the likeness of with others. The slime dips an elegant silver spoon into it, barely disturbing the swirl of its contents.

You're mesmerized, silently stroking the bartender's ego.

" Do you know- " He begins, leaning in to steal your attention back. " What makes this lethal to you, cherry? "

Humorously, it's as if his wording reminds you that you're here to die. That he's your personally chosen Grim Reaper, and this isn't just a lonely night in a back alley bar. Perspiration pools on your forehead. Gallon squints with fascination. Not getting cold feet so far, interesting.

" Smells sweet, tastes sweet I assure you, and looks quite pleasant overall... "

Both arms, if you can call those goopy things such, settle on the counter. Three distended 'fingers' stretch like branches, ever so slightly brushing against you.

" But a few little sips is all it takes. You wouldn't even know your life was over right there. You'd get up, head out, and in less than an hour, you'd get so tired. Just so sleepy. All you'd want is to lay down somewhere. "

Suspense hangs in the air. The slime deliberately creates an unsettling pause, only to shatter it as soon as you open your mouth.

" And never get back up. "

There's a shrug from his part. Although speechless, he finds a myriad of emotions flash through your complexion.

" Little ashenwilt flowers around graveyards that didn't quite keep the dead down, you know? The punch of this drink, and a pretty human's death certificate. "

You visibly gulp, nonetheless slowly pulling the drink closer to yourself.

" How's that for a killer slime, cherry? You could even fall asleep in my arms. "

A flicker of humor breaks through your otherwise grim composure for a brief second. " That wouldn't be so bad... " A mutter he's thrilled to hear. " Thank you, sir. "

You're quite the unique gem, he was right.

When you shakily raise a hand to grasp the silver spoon, a yellow tendril bumps you on the shoulder.

" You're very welcome! Now, take that drink to the gentleman in the corner over there, and don't forget to smile. "

He points, subtly, to a demon in a booth seat reading a pamphlet of sorts. Your perplexed grimace is adorable. The monster sets a silver tray before you.

" Go on. We can think about your work outfit later, dear. Try not to shake too much "

Gallon hopes this reads as the mercy it truly is.

There's something in you that captivates him, for whatever reason. Why not make the most of it? Why not test the waters of this feeling, with his new, gorgeous little waitress?

Yes, that sounds nice.

[lostcatinthedark]

You can feel the tension rise as the time for Jimin's release from ms approaches. What I mentioned before how Jimin's personality gets misconstrued because of his silence is true. Mostly because people are not used to that, it's easy to know what someone wants and where someone is heading when they tell you about it, and honestly most people are yappers, but that makes it easier to categorize them and anticipate their actions. But Jimin works and lives in silence, so that's where projections and fears take place. But he does say enough through his art, it's just harder to decode because he always uses symbols and metaphors. If by now you don't listen to Smfpt2 and have a clearer idea of who he is, you just didn't get it. This is a hard-working, resilient, smart guy. I hate when people use his kindness against him by trying to paint him as someone who will always sacrifice for others, who would never put himself first. When that song tells you the opposite. And it's his favorite one for a reason. It's an impactful song, one where he acknowledges his power both for positive and for destruction. This man literally called himself Tailor of chaos. That's exactly who he is, the thing is he is a nice person so he wouldn't do something immoral, but he's absolutely someone who would strategize the best way to achieve something or get rid of a situation, the best way to get people's attention, the best way to poke at someone without getting in trouble or affecting others. And he will never tell you about it, one day you'll just realize when you see it happened.

So people need to get that into their heads, he chooses diplomacy but that doesn't mean that he agrees with everything happening around him, or that he even gets along with everyone. He is kind, but he is also very protective of his loved ones. He is humble, but you can tell he is ambitious too and if he sees obstacles in his way to his goals, he'll try to move them or simply change paths to get to where he wants to go. I'm saying this because people still don't get it, some fans worry about things that he probably already has under control and his antis think that he isn't doing anything at all. He is in a complicated situation for sure, but I'm sure that he has taken the right steps for his goals.

It will be funny when something happens in the future and people who don't know him say: "omg I never saw this coming from him" and trust that his haters will rot with resentment saying "I wonder what shady thing he did to achieve that". Mark my words. Unfortunately that always seems to be a topic of conversation surrounding him (his success, his loving fans, his supportive dad) and it's not just people trying to invalidate him and his support system, it's also because he never matches the projections and expectations people have of him, and that just make people feel resentful when he steps out of that box (even though he's told you a bunch of times there is no box at all). His number is literally the 13, that's the death number, in other words, the rebirth number. Bring everything down to create something brand new.

So my advice, trust in this man's intelligence and be patient. If you know you know!

[shan-yee]

•𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘐 = 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙣𝙨𝙛𝙬 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙄

•𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 = 𝙎𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙧𝙖, 𝙎𝙪𝙤, 𝙐𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙮𝙖

•𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 = 𝙎𝙚𝙭, 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙤𝙘 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧.

•𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 = 3148

•𝘈/𝘕 = English is not my first language, please let me know if you see any mistakes ! Enjoy ✨

——— 𝐒 𝗨 𝗠 𝗠 𝗔 𝗥 𝗬 • • •

𝐈 :: 𝗦𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗿𝗮

𝐈𝐈 :: 𝗦𝘂𝗼

𝐈𝐈𝐈 :: 𝗨𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘆𝗮

╰─► 𝐈 ･ ｡ﾟ☆ 𝗦𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗿𝗮

[Biting/marking]

⇰ So, I think that under the emotions Sakura will have the reflex to bite his partner, during an orgasm for example. His goal will not even be to mark, just a way of reacting under the pleasure.

⇰ But in situations where sex is initiated by jealousy he will leave teeth marks as a way of reassuring himself but also to show that the reader is his.

⇰ Sakura doesn't really leave hickeys, he honestly doesn't know how to do it, so teeth marks are his signature. Also, he will never take the time to learn how to give hickeys.

⇰ He secretly likes it when his partner leaves marks on him although he is quite reluctant at first, probably his misplaced pride.

⇰ But in front of the mirror he will begin to observe each mark carefully and touch them with his fingertips, this is proof that the love he experiences and receives is very real.

⇰ On the other hand, he will categorically refuse to let his girlfriend leave them in visible places. He would die of shame if anyone said something about them.

[Vocals]

⇰ during his first experiences, taking into account the foreplay, I don't think he will let go and therefore will be really vocal.

⇰ if we take a blowjob for exemple, I can clearly see him with furrowed eyebrows, red cheeks, and the back of his hand on his mouth while he bites his lower lip to hold back his moans.

⇰ Because, given his character, I would say that he is more the type to moan than to groan.

⇰ It will take time and reassuring words for him to finally relax and I think he will never really let go except, maybe, in moments of overstimulation.

⇰ At the start of intercourse he will always have the habit of biting his lip but with one or two caresses on it and soft words he will stop and let the sounds come out.

⇰ He also particularly likes to hear his partner moan, it's a kind of ego boost even if he won't say it.

⇰ He will do anything to hear her and if she covers her mouth he won’t say anything but will show his displeasure by being more “aggressive” in his movements. Move his fingers faster and deeper, lick and nibble more slowly or even thrust his hips more sharply.

[Kinks]

⇰ Even if he says otherwise Sakura clearly has a praise kink, he secretly likes to hear that he brings pleasure to his partner and that he is good at what he does.

⇰ He is a little ashamed of it though, he finds that it doesn't go with his passion for fighting. What delinquent would like to hear that he is a good boy ?

⇰ But he won’t ask his partner to stop, it is possible that at the beginning he will be very embarrassed and pass off his discomfort as discontent.

⇰ I wanted to say “threesome” but honestly that doesn’t match his character, he’s way too possessive and couldn’t stand to see his girlfriend being touched by someone else.

⇰ Also, he would be afraid, because of his insecurities, that she’ll find more pleasure with someone other than him. So it's a no no for Sakura but still an honorable mention.

⇰ Maybe Wax play ? I think that he would find it very “beautiful” but that he would rather do it than receive. And he would be quite stressed at first, afraid that the wax would end up being too hot so he would probably try it on his finger in secret.

⇰ Honestly, as much as I racked my brain, I couldn't find many kinks that would interest him, I was thinking bondage or blindfold but I don't think that he would be comfortable enough to be restricted due to his trauma.

⇰ But maybe he would be willing to try it on his partner who knows ?

[Positions]

⇰ I think we can all agree that Sakura is into classics ! At first he’ll prefer to stay on a missionary. He likes being able to look at his girlfriend although holding eye contact is quite complicated for him.

⇰ He likes to be able to put his face against his partner's chest, it's a way of hiding but also of being physically close. Reader, take the opportunity to touch his hair and caress him ! This is surely the only moment where he allows himself to truly let go.

⇰ After gaining some confidence he will be willing, perhaps a little reluctant at first, to explore different positions and I like to think that cowgirl will secretly be one of his favorites.

⇰ He will be very embarrassed at first, being dominated, in a certain way, will be slightly humiliating for him but he will change his mind quite quickly.

⇰ I think this position will bring out his “submissive” side so to speak and he will let himself be overcome by pleasure very rapidly. This is a good position if your goal is to make him moan and react.

⇰ A special mention for “Face off” which will surely also be one of his favorites. Just like the missionary, he will love the closeness it provides.

⇰ I think that he will be up for trying new things but he’ll always come back to the simplest positions that allows him to be as close as possible, mind and soul, to his partner.

[Dom/Sub/Switch]

⇰ Sakura has the presence of a dom but the behavior of a sub. Honestly I would put him in the “switch” category although he has a penchant for sub, which he doesn’t really embrace.

⇰ At the start of a relationship he will categorically refuse to let himself be dominated by his partner, mainly because of his ego but also because it is very hard for him to appear « helpless » in front of someone, even his girlfriend.

⇰ It will take time for him to gain confidence in his relationship and himself. He will have to understand that being dominated does not make him weak and that he can always regain control if it is too much for him.

⇰ In the end he will end up particularly enjoying this "role", not thinking about anything and simply focusing on pleasure. However, there will always be a little alarm in his head even though he makes sure it doesn't go off.

⇰ During the evening he will switch between the two, taking his time to provide pleasure to his girlfriend but also to receive it.

⇰ In front of others he will always pass himself off as a great dominant who does not allow himself to be dominated but most of the people close to him like Suo and Togame - Nirei would take his word for it - doesn’t really buy it.

╰─► 𝐈𝐈 ･ ｡ﾟ☆ 𝗦𝘂𝗼

[Biting/marking]

⇰ Suo likes to leave mostly hickeys and very light bites in strategic places, like the inner thighs and chest.

⇰ He will make sure that everyone can see them, it's a way for him to show that he is the only one who can touch his girlfriend and to dissuade any potential flirts, my boy is possessive.

⇰Personally, he won’t hide them, unless his partner asks him to. He finds his skin much more beautiful with the marks of love from his girlfriend, a true romantic !

⇰ But hey, most of the time they will be hidden by his collar to his great dismay. You will only be able to see one or two or you’ll have to wait for the rare moments when he changes his style of clothing, like at the beach for example.

⇰ He will always be very delicate in leaving his marks and will maintain eye contact with his girlfriend, especially when he buries his head between her thighs.

⇰ This is the place he prefers to bite the most, the traces of his teeth never stay long so he will add more as the evening progresses.

[Vocals]

⇰ Honestly I don't think Suo is really vocal during the act, and it breaks my heart...

⇰ On the other hand, I think that it’s possible to get slight grunts or whimpers during oral sex. Often being the dominant one during penetration, it’s the only moments when he doesn’t think of anything.

⇰ He doesn't even hold back, it just doesn't come out. He is also very difficult to get out of breath so his breathing is never jerky, the only real way to see that he is having pleasure is to look at his eye.

⇰ During the act he has a gentle look but above all, full of desire and a spark of deep love. He will also have a slight, more mischievous smile than usual that he reserves for sexy time.

⇰ Despite his lack of vocality, he particularly enjoys hearing his partner's moans, it's a slight ego boost but he mostly likes to hear her take pleasure.

⇰ He will not hesitate to tell her about it and will encourage her to let go with sweet words and kisses on her chest and stomach.

[Kinks]

⇰ I don't know why but I think we all agreed that Suo hides a lot of things and is quite mischievous. This is why I could see him being into BDSM.

⇰ Not the extreme, especially if his partner isn't into it, but he likes to incorporate some aspect of BDSM into his sexual life.

⇰ Especially anything involving domination and bandages. He likes to control his partner and can be slightly naughty at times, however I don't see him using words like "slut", "whore" or "cum dump" at all.

⇰ He is a very attentive character who takes care of himself and others -Nirei- in the manga, which leads me to think that even in sex he remains a gentleman.

⇰ However, that doesn't stop him from being a tease and he likes to push his girlfriend's limits, observing her reactions is surely his favorite activity.

⇰ I'm not sure but I'm thinking maybe he's open to roleplay and exhibitionism ?

⇰ For roleplay I see it well in plays like, master x servant, professor x student, boss x employee, etc.

⇰ But honestly every other time he would come out of his role in amusement and the roleplay wouldn’t last long. Some times he will let go and even start to get into the play.

⇰ For the exhibitionism I think he would be “cheating” a little. Suo is possessive, he can’t stand his partner being ogled by someone else so he will always create situations that will never end in true exhibitionism.

⇰ But, there would be a very small exception. Seeing the relationship he shares with Nirei I tell myself that maybe, just maybe, he would be up for trying a threesome with him.

⇰ Of course there would be strict rules with whom he will not joke even for the blond, always protected, under his gaze and especially no kissing. It is an intimate act that is reserved for him and him alone.

[Positions]

⇰ Suo loves to see his girlfriend face but he also particularly likes the curves of her back and backside.

⇰ Reverse cowgirl and doggy style are perfect positions for him. Compare to Sakura the reverse cowgirl is not used as a position to dominate him, despite the fact that he is not the one who moves he keeps all the control.

⇰ Using his hands on his partner's hips, he manages the rhythm and intensity. He will also surely take the opportunity to explore her body with his fingertips.

⇰ I think he will use “Doggy style” for domination games. If his partner agrees, he will take the opportunity to lightly close his fingers around her throat and experiment with “breath play”.

⇰ He’ll never squeezes too hard or for too long, just enough to intensify the reader's pleasure. Suo will always inform himself about the different practices he wishes to use and will then be very informed about the risks of this practice, hence his refusal to use it for too long.

⇰ For gentler sessions he will revisit the missionary in several different ways. Knees on his shoulder, around his waist, legs in the air while he holds her ankles, etc…

⇰ This type of position allows him to control many things but mainly to maintain a certain intimate contact, other than sexual, with his partner.

[Dom/Sub/Switch]

⇰ Dom, dom, dom. Something in his eyes tells me that he is dominant in many aspects of his relationship but especially during sex.

⇰ But ! If his partner wants it, he would be willing to try to be dominated. However he won’t be able to stop himself from teasing her and would eventually regain control.

⇰ Suo is a gentle and loving dominant, he will not like to hurt physically or psychologically but that would not stop him from pushing his partner's limits, as said elsewhere, for his own pleasure.

⇰ He would be for the safeword system and will respect it with each use. For him, sex is a moment of trust and pleasure, so if this trust is broken there is no more pleasure.

╰─► 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ･ ｡ﾟ☆ 𝗨𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘆𝗮

[Biting/marking]

⇰ Umemiya clearly prefers to receive than to give, not that he doesn't like to mark his partner, on the contrary, but having hickeys on him or teeth marks is a kind of pride.

⇰ He would be capable to walk around shirtless so that everyone could see them and if he was asked questions he would answer “ho that ? It’s my girlfriend” with a big smile.

⇰ These marks are for him proof of his partner's affection and compared to Sakura he does not wish to hide them at all.

⇰ As for giving it, he refuses to use his teeth, he is terrified of leaving a permanent mark by not controlling his strength.

⇰ Also, he prefers them to be hidden. Umemiya is quite possessive, although much less so than Suo, so he wouldn't like people looking too closely at his girlfriend because of that.

⇰ He considers hickeys to be a very intimate but also sexual act, so he prefers to keep these marks for his eyes.

[Vocals]

⇰ I think that Ume is between moans and grunts, he will also probably be short of breath. Everything is visible on his face, especially his pleasure and his noises add something seductive.

⇰ Even if the moans can be compared to femininity, Umemiya's moans are quite loud and deep.

⇰ He doesn't hide at all and lets himself go during the act, in fact even if he wanted to he couldn't even try to hold them back, the pleasure he feels being too strong.

⇰ Hearing his partner is surely the best way to make him feel pleasure, after penetration, knowing that he is the cause makes him happy and motivates him to continue.

⇰ After one or two rounds he will start to have heavy and rapid breathing, he may also cum slightly more quickly but that is a detail.

⇰ I can also see him burying his face against his partner's chest and whispering sweet words and praise while making slow but deep hip movements.

⇰ Ume also talks quite a bit during penetration, making sure his girlfriend is comfortable despite how many times they have done it and also to know what she prefers, what speed, depth, inclination, etc.

[Kinks]

⇰ We probably all agree on that but he clearly has a breeding kink ! Although he is not against starting a large family in a few years, his goal is not at all to make his partner pregnant.

⇰ He simply loves the feeling that the proximity of this act gives him, agreeing on the fact that "breeding kink" is performed without a condom, he likes to tell himself that in this way he leaves a kind of trace, a part of him, inside the reader.

⇰ Once he pulls out, after a few minutes, he will insert two of his fingers to keep his cum a little longer while kissing his girlfriend's thighs.

⇰ He might also be interested in bandages and blindfolds but for him, especially if it's something his lover would like to try, he would be more than happy to be at the reader's mercy

⇰ To join the “breeding kink” I think that after a few years of relationship he will start to be interested in the “pregnancy kink”.

⇰ Ume has always been a brotherly figure and I think he will clearly have the paternal instinct once a father, he will surely want several children but before thinking about it seriously he will only like to fantasize about his partner being pregnant and will tell her about it.

⇰ His fantasy will manifest itself in more kisses placed on his girlfriend's stomach or it will only finish inside. He also will sometimes caress or press on her stomach quite absently.

⇰ There are also many things he will flatly refuse to do, like anything that is impact play or "real" BDSM. His lover is precious to him and he will refuse even if it’s something she would like to try.

[Positions]

⇰ Umemiya is a gentle partner who likes to hold the person he loves close to him and especially during sex, which is why I think "face off" would be one of his favorite positions.

⇰ It allows him deep movements but at a slow speed so he enjoys feeling the warmth of his girlfriend's insides, literally heaven.

⇰ “The lazy man” is for me a sort of derivative of “Face off” which also allows a certain closeness and intimacy. His partner is the one who decides the rhythm and the depth which allows him to simply holding her against him while enjoying himself.

⇰ I think he would be open to trying a lot of things but in the end he prefers positions that allow him to hold the reader in his arms and feel her close.

⇰ “ Spoon” or “Open-legged spoon” are also very good options and he loves using them in the morning when he wakes up or after tiring days.

⇰ He would surely suggest “Hovering Butterfly” even if it is not a position that allows penetration, he likes to provide pleasure to his partner so he will surely ask to use it often.

[Dom/Sub/Switch]

⇰ Ume is a dom-switch. He is naturally dominant but to please his partner or just try different practices he lets himself be dominated with pleasure.

⇰ Compare to Suo he is not a tease and will take his role very seriously although I don't see him being submissive as you can see some people in BDSM or Sakura.

⇰ He will always make sure not to step out of his role but will not be able to help but sometimes snicker or give questioning looks, but his ultimate goal is to please his partner so if she's really into it he will make some efforts.

⇰ His dominant side is also very light, it shown by the fact that he particularly likes to be on top and tends to be the first to engage in intimate acts, particularly sex.

[ooooo-mcyt]

I know Grian being terrible at outwardly expressing affection but he's actually quite sweet.

For starters, the constant caretaking acts. I know they get buried sometimes in his struggles to verbalize affection, but I feel like his care for people has always shone through immensely in his actions. Like how Grian will always gather extra resources to share with his allies when he's getting stuff for himself, things like giving Skizz his own set of armor (knowing he won't get it back if skizz dies) and categorically refusing to take it back until Skizz is off red, things like Grian deciding he's going to bake for BigB because little gifts are Grian's specialty. As much as he may complain, there are times where you can even hear the pride and excitement in his voice when he's taking the initiative to do tasks or get gifts for his allies because he likes to be able to take care of them.

And while Grian's fussing over people is usually something Grian himself frames through a hyper-critical lens, which isn't great, I honestly still just find it sweet how he's always fussing in some way. Checking in on people, making sure they're okay, making sure they have what they need, that they're staying out of trouble. I'll admit it can be frustrating, and counter productive, when he scolds people, but it's also just such a blatant show of love in some ways that I can't help but view even Grian's most overbearing moments kind of favorably.

Also I like how much Grian romanticizes every relationship he has. Sure, he usually won't say to their faces how much he cares and values their presence, but you can feel it. Grian clings to people, grabs onto them tightly and never lets go. Grian gives the people around him anything in his power to give and worries incessantly over their safety. Grian romanticizes the idea of soulmates in a way that's quite cute early in Double Life (and that peeks out again in secret life) because there's something romantic and exciting to him about the idea of someone who, theoretically, should want him, and who he can take care of and stay close to. And whenever Grian's in a group, you'll be able to feel the joy radiating off of him in how he manages to insert "My friend/friends!!" into every conversation, as if he's bursting with so much pride and happiness that he just has to keep reminding everyone about his friend(s) who he'll rarely praise to their faces but who he clearly thinks so highly of regardless.

I don't know, I just can't help but read immense amounts of love and care from, like, most ways Grian interacts with the people around him, and it's a tragedy it's often overlooked because of the disconnect in verbalizing things.

[hiiragi7]

Is The Innerworld "Real"?

For others, maybe, maybe not.

But for me? Absolutely, it's real.

The innerworld is a part of my day-to-day experience, it's something I interact with, something I can see and feel.

It's a part of my body, my mind, myself. It's a place where my parts can be safe, where my parts can talk and hug and see each other just as we are. It's something that lives and grows with me, something that I care for and work to upkeep.

For me, saying that my innerworld is not real would be just as silly as saying my parts are not real, just because it is an experience originating from within my head. There is another entire world I keep internally, and this is something I treat with a great amount of respect - Anything less would be very unkind and dismissive towards it.

My innerworld has been there throughout my life, and it has helped me greatly. It is a very sacred place for me, and so I want to offer it that same love and protection back. In doing so, I also give myself more kindness as well.

I've always had very strong visualization capabilities. I think it can pretty safely be argued that my innerworld is in some form a visualization, or perhaps a long-lasting daydream - but I reject that it is "just" a visualization or "just" a daydream, and that this categorization thus determines it to be "not real". That is to say, I don't believe that these things are mutually exclusive. It may be a visualization or whatever else you may call it, and at the same time be so vividly real.

How I experience reality isn't often the same as most other people - never really has been. It's just the way my brain is built. I know that's something which makes some people uncomfortable, and at times I feel lost or confused due to it. But... a lot of times, it doesn't particularly affect me, nor do I even think about it much unless someone else brings it up.

I used to have more complicated feelings about it, but honestly, talking to and reading about other psychotic/schizospec folks' experiences with reality as well as meeting many other systems & DID folk who don't neatly align with what reality "should be" really helped with that. I don't feel so much shame or bitterness or anger anymore about me experiencing things a little (or a lot) to the left.

I'm aware there are some things that are real to me which are not real to other people, and that's fine with me. My innerworld is one of those things.

All I really hope for is that others will be respectful towards this part of me that is so deeply personal and subjective. My innerworld is real to me, and it is another world which I engage with. I find it deeply invasive and uncomfortable when other people try to determine that realness or lack of for me - it is my innerworld, my experience, and so I feel very protective over my truth of it.

[hobie-enthusiast]

UNLIKELY CLASH !

— rulebreaker!hobie brown x perfectionist!gn!reader

— enemies to lovers, swearing (more than last and fuck too), mutual pining, making out, small bit of harassment, rebellious teens, confused feelings, getting together

— hobie brown was everything you weren’t, so maybe that’s what attracted the two of you together so well (pt. 2)

— here part two gang! honestly i have an idea for part three in mind but if that’s something u honestly want pls lmk asap

— part 1 | part 2 (here) | part 3

The next couple of weeks were.. odd between you and Hobie.

Even after a heartfelt confession about the pressure you felt, you still had a reputation to uphold. You kept treating him the way you normally did; ignoring him and pretending he didn’t exist.

At first, this didn't really bother Hobie. He was used to chasing after you, messing with you and poking fun at the student council president. But he was getting bored. The small bits of making you late to class or taking up your time were amusing, but he wanted more of a reaction from you.

When he started interacting less and less, you grew confused. As much as you hated to admit it, you liked the attention and small interactions.

Though it was small, being late and skipping class (very rarely at this point), made you excited. It made you feel.. alive in a way.

But all that was dissipating. And you were upset about it.

You sat in your room after a long school day, mindlessly scrolling through your computer. Your parents had asked that you try and find a prom outfit, but that became boring really quick. You could never wear something truly exciting; just some fancy outfit plain coloured with fancy hair.

A knock on your window startled you from your thoughts. Glancing out, you see Hobie looking in, motioning for you to open the window. You walk over confused, deciding to open the window.

"Brown? It's.." You glance back at your alarm clock. "..10 pm. What are you doing here?"

"Awe, come on sweetheart. After such a confession, shouldn't we be on a first name basis?" He says, inviting himself into your room.

You scoff. "One, no, as you don't use my first name. And two, you can't be here! My parents are right down the hall!"

Hobie shrugged as he looked around your room, analyzing the decor. He noticed the clean desk you had, along with a neat bookshelf of many scientific books and knick-knacks. It suited you, every detail down to the way your game console sat neatly on your TV stand, not a speck of dust in sight.

"Did you show up just to judge my room?"

Hobie shook his head. "Nah, came t' ask ya somethin'." He said, sitting on your desk chair. "Up for an adventure?"

"Excuse me?" You question, taking a seat across from him on your bed. "When?"

"Now."

You know Hobie was.. absolutely crazy in some ways. But this? Going on a random adventure on a Friday night, and asking the person he wants to go with by entering their room via window was.. not the kind of crazy you would categorize him as.

You raise your eyebrows, crossing your arms. "You serious right now?"

"As serious as I always am." He responds with a shrug. "'s up to you. We'll be gone 'till tomorrow. Either 'u're up for a challenge or not."

A challenge he says? Hobie knew that you could be riled up from being challenged to do something. Perfectionists always had to win in his eyes.

And he was right.

"Give me five minutes."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Next thing you knew, you were on a train from your isolated little town to Brooklyn itself. Hobie blindly led you onto a train, told you to not worry about tickets, then let the train take you both to the destination in mind.

Of course Hobie remembered what you said at the tree. He had been holding onto it for a while now. He knew you wanted to go to a city, do whatever you wanted, just for a little bit. And he was going to be the one to give that to you. Why? Well, that's a question he couldn't answer for himself.

"Brooklyn?" You questioned, looking out of the train window. "Why Brooklyn?"

"You said it under the tree. Ya wanted to go to the city, no?"

You nodded slowly, looking back out the window with a small smile. Of course you were flattered that he remembered your words. At least, you were hoping he did, you practically poured your feelings out.

Once the train stopped, you both stepped out of the station to admire the tall buildings towering over you. Hobie couldn’t help but be amused at the way your eyes shined at the new scenery. He practically came here everyday.

But he couldn’t tell you that. Not without plausible answers to the inevitable questions.

“So..” You turn to look at him, eyes still bright. “What do we do?”

He shrugs, hands in his vest pockets. “Whatever ya want. ‘s ‘ur day, no?”

"But I don't know where to go. I've never been to the city before."

Hobie's eyes widened for a moment, shocked at your words. You were really so sheltered you hadn't been to the city right beside your town? The thought alone was crazy to Hobie. He never understood why adults were so.. controlling.

He sighs, walking ahead. "Follow me then. I'll show ya ‘round."

And so you did just that. You followed Hobie around the city, taking in the sights he's showing you. All around the city, passing and weaving through people, making sure you had a nice time.

There was something you noticed. Before Hobie took you somewhere, he provided you with options on where to go. He didn't force you to go one place with him. He didn't strictly follow an itinerary. He always asked what you wanted to do, giving you full control of the day.

It was.. refreshing. This sense of freedom was exactly what you needed. To feel the fresh air of the city without worrying about impressing anyone. Hobie wasn't judging you, and you certainly weren't judging yourself.

The end of the day came quicker than your liking, and the two of you were on the rooftop of an apartment complex. The sun was setting behind the tall buildings, and Hobie brought the two of you some noodles to eat (he definitely didn't steal them).

You take a bite, setting the cup down with a sigh. "Today was.. actually really nice. I don't think I ever felt that, free before, if that makes sense?"

"Don't worry, you can say it." Hobie said, nudging your arm.

You roll your eyes with a small smile. "Mm.. guess I can. Thanks, Brown."

"Y'know, you can call me 'obie, swee'heart." He responded, shrugging. "'s better than m' last name, I think."

"I can't give you that satisfaction. Not yet."

Hobie raised an eyebrow, a shit-eating smirk crossing his face. "Yet?"

You're ready to correct yourself, but the words die in your throat. You couldn't help but like the sound of "yet". It meant more time with Hobie.. and you enjoyed that. Hobie's company was something you were starting to crave. Almost like a drug.

Hobie glanced over at you. "Gotta admit, didn't expect ya t' come with me. Considerin' 'ur parents don't know ya snuck out."

“Yeah well..” You sigh, looking out onto the building with a soft smile. “Maybe I just needed something different.” You finish, looking over at Hobie.

You’re suddenly very aware of how close the two of you are to each other. Hobie’s eyes flicker; your eyes, your mouth, and back a couple times. It’s almost like.. he was asking you for something. The longer you both stared, the more tempted he became, and you honestly couldn’t blame him.

So why did you pull away?

As soon as he started leaning in, you pulled back, clearing your throat. His eyes widen before narrowing, scoffing gently. Guess he misread the situation.

You really couldn’t tell him he didn’t.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The next weeks Hobie Brown didn’t show up to school.

You had a feeling you were the cause. Brushing him off like that was such a dick move on your part. You knew that. You wanted nothing more than to find him and run to him, kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

But you couldn’t. You had an image to maintain. A reputation. All the trust you worked so hard to accumulate would go down the drain in an instant.

Of course.. Hobie may be worth that.

Hobie to you is worth that risk. All his rule breaking and crazed adventures are just what you need in your life. Something that gives you the freedom you longed for.

But you had to go and screw it up. And now here you were, three weeks after the incident, at your locker with a guy trying to talk you up.

“C’mon, [Name], just one night! It’ll change your life!”

You groan, slamming the locker shut. “Dude, I said no. Can you stop?”

“Why? I gotta know why!” He persisted, grabbing your wrist as you tried walking away.

You yank your arm away, trying to escape. “I don’t owe you that! Let me go.”

“Not until you-”

“Hey.”

You turn at the sudden voice, shocked at who it belonged to. There stood Hobie Brown, eyes filled with anger.

“They said, let go.” He said, grabbing the guy’s arm and yanking it away. “Learn t’ take a hint, aye?”

The guy’s eyes narrowed. “And who do you think you are, Brown? Their boyfriend?”

“As a matter of fac’-”

Then, Hobie turns you to him, bringing your lips to his. No warning, no asking, nothing. Just does what he’s been craving after three weeks of disappearance.

Everyone in the hallway around you two watched with shocked faces. Nobody could have seen this coming, not even you.

A thousand thoughts rushed through your head as Hobie kissed you, but one screamed to push away. So you did, giving him a shocked look before grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the scene. You drag him to a storage closet, shutting the door.

“Brown, what the hell was that?!” You immediately ask, eyes narrowed. “What, do you disappear for three weeks then kiss every person you were hanging out with? What the hell?”

Hobie sighed, leaning against a shelf behind him. “Guy needed t’ be taught a lesson. Made sure he won’t bother ya.”

“I can do that on my own!” You respond, shoving an accusing finger in his chest. “Where have you been?!”

“Thinkin’.” Is all he responds with.

You groan. “For three weeks? Shit Hobie, I..” You words fall short. You want to say it.. squeeze it out. “I.. missed you.”

Hobie’s eyes widened as he takes in your words. You.. missed him? He never would have seen this coming; a confession from the president in a dingy storage closet? Not on his bucket list.

Your eyes watch Hobie, doing that same pattern he did on the rooftop; eyes, mouth, eyes. You wanted to kiss him again.. feel those lips again on yours. No.. you needed it.

You know what? Fuck this perfect image.

You grab onto Hobie's vest, pulling him in to connect your lips. Your rough with your movements at first, closing your eyes tightly and latching onto him with a white-knuckle grip. Hobie's eyes widened for a moment before they showed a more prideful look, kissing you back with just as much emotion.

His hands find placement on your lower back, pulling you into him as the kiss escalates from one to many. Hobie was like a starved man, slotting his leg in between yours to support you, pushing you back against the shelf and knocking over some cleaning supplies.

That could be fixed later.

Your original intention of one passionate kiss to show him how you felt turned into many heated kisses. The bell for class was drowned out by how into the moment you both were.

“Fuck.. Hobie..” You whisper, diving back in for another kiss.

Hobie groaned in turn, pulling you impossibly closer. “Shit sweetheart.. can’t say m’ name like that.”

“Hmm.. why’s that..?”

“‘s gonna drive me crazy..”

Suddenly, the doorknob to the closet rattles, causing you both to pull away. Your eyes go wide as Hobie grabs it from where he stands, bringing one finger to his lips to make you stay quiet.

The person on the other side tries to open the door, but ultimately fails. They groan and mumble something before walking away. Hobie looks over at your expression, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” He whispers, planting a kiss to your jaw. “Or are ya gonna keep pretendin’ you’re too good for it?”

You sigh, rolling your eyes as you take his hand. "Nah, not this time. Come on."

some ppl who wanted to be tagged (🫶): @serenn08 | @rksses | @youronlyauthor | @dotheyevenknowmars | @xoxobabe

[gold-pavilion]

Belonging and humanity (some more Ivan thoughts)

There's a big difference between knowing for a fact that you're a human being and getting to FEEL part of humankind. That's a thing that I feel Ivan sorely lacked. Some of his issues can definitely be traced back to it.

There's three things we know for certain about Ivan's early childhood nowadays, so let me start from those:

There were other humans around him in the slums, at least other children (for now it doesn't seem there were adults around, or none who would approach or care for the children).

However, we also know Ivan did not learn social behavior properly; for example, how or when to smile.

Going by the lonely tone of the song Nowhere and its emphasis on having no one, plus the previous point, we can infer there was no meaningful social contact with any people he knew/saw.

Ivan has been described as someone who is always learning to survive and his time in the slums must've been the same, after all; it's most likely that the other kids were competition to him (for food or other resources), threats or simply strangers with whom connections were never made.

That's to say, there were humans around Ivan but no "human community".

And that's the thing: take someone who went through a critical developmental stage with no one to care for or be cared by, learn social behavior with or practice the emotional exercises of understanding and empathy - ask that someone what "being a part of humankind" feels like, and what can he even make of it? It must not mean much more than categorizing a species, no feeling involved. And anyway, what difference does it make if there's anything else to say or not?

It's not like those are easy questions. None of the ALNST cast, with all their limitations, would be able to respond comprehensively.

But it changes things, the differences are there.

There are things that Till knows, from having a mother, learning from her and being enriched emotionally by their interaction, that I don't think he could describe but certainly has within him. Or Hyuna, who had a brother to feel that family bond and sense of community with, learning all sorts of positive social skills and having a heart full of room for empathy as she always looked out for the little Other Person next to her.

Beyond knowing their species, they know what it MEANS to be the rare and amazing human creature from these experiences of connecting, teaching, being taught, holding things in common, giving and receiving love. On an instinctual level they accessed what it feels like to be "part of humankind", which is so cool about them!!

Then you have cases like Mizi being too trusting of aliens because she was raised to feel community with one, Sua being mostly withdrawn because she didn't have a lot of warmth and community around her, Luka who was deprived of everything and then clung too hard to his first proper bond...

And Ivan, with his empty circumstances. There are a million things Ivan didn't learn and doesn't KNOW he lacked.

Of course that with his background he'd end up 1: being defensive by nature, having selfish tendencies, trouble processing emotion and socially weird habits and 2: feeling like a twisted being because of it, which is such a core aspect of his character. A human with less humanity but no idea why or how.

He adapted himself a lot once adopted, of course, and caught up an even bigger lot in his time in Anakt Garden. But I don't think he ever understood why he was "more twisted than others" and honestly, his intelligence and observance doesn't do him any favors on that front; on the contrary, I think it made him more aware of the gaps between him and other people.

And I really have to wonder if his experiences around the segyein are all that different, emotionally speaking.

I mean, of course objectively they have to be, but… his adopted life was a matter of observing his new environment, feeling like an absolute stranger because he's another species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible in order to make himself a desirable pet that would be kept around. His experience being sent to Anakt and put in a human group was, again, feeling like a stranger because he's different to others of his own species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible, eventually making himself an "acceptable", charming, absolutely cagey but near-perfect man. He succeeded both times.

He never did get rid of that awareness of being "twisted", though. After all, he also didn't unlearn all his survival patterns or fix the weak spots in his emotional development. As much as he progressed, the sense of not quite belonging and the faint relationship with his own humanity stayed. (With one big exception, but I'll leave that thought for the end of this ramble.)

In a way, I feel like this is exactly what made him so successful in segyein society as far as he lived. So adaptable that beyond being a good pet, he could also be trusted with and hold down an actual job, decent (faked or not, still good) relationships with segyein and, if he had any chance of survival, probably the capacity to live in their society with moderate perks.

Being an adaptable stranger who belonged nowhere in the first place… I think it's what made him more willing, more capable and more okay with mixing with the segyein like that, paired with his intelligence to pull it off.

No human pride to sacrifice. Not much humanity in the first place.

Except for the one noteworthy exception that shifted Ivan's growth: his relationship with Till.

Not only did Till embody things that Ivan lacked, which fascinated him from the start, but through his bond with him Ivan developed a lot of those traits and sensitivities that constitute peak humanity. It's a bit of the "love will make you human" trope, but on god does it apply. Ivan learned to care, to feel and to love, at times selfishly, at times messily. Buth he got pretty good at it; so much that love made him selfless and sacrificial in the end. He became a little more human for the object of his feelings. It didn't't erase all his struggles or fix his issues at large, but it was a lot. Of course he'd die thanking Till.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to get off my chest!

Humanity is a tough theme with Ivan, so I hope my thoughts about it were an interesting read.

The usual disclaimer: I've talked about 1 aspect of Ivan in this post, which does not mean this is all there is to his character or that I aim to invalidate other aspects. Just rotating this one in my head.

[genderqueerdykes]

i dont know why, but your butch post got me thinking about about yet another problem the lgbtqia+ community has: prelabeling people as tops/bottoms. and even being disgusted with/erasing switches, which I've seen a lot. I'm a lesbian. i don't consider myself butch or fem because I'm not comfortable with those labels, but to the outside eye I do seem a little butch. i remember when I was in highschool I had a friend who always said I was "top-coded" and always called me a top. as a bottom and now a questioning aro/ace spec that shit made me so uncomfortable. and I told her that many times, but she just used the shitty "its just a joke" excuse. like omfg shut up

holy shit thank you because i literally wanted to talk about this in that post but wasn't sure if it would make it too long. you messaged me at exactly the right time, thank you so much because this bugs the hell out of me too

that's soooooo gross, i'm sorry that person was saying that to you. first of all that's literally none of their business, you really shouldn't just say that to someone. what the fuck does "top coded" even mean? not all tops are the same, there's literally all kinds of different top dynamics. also i think people get top/bottom and dom/sub mixed up, too, which is even more frustrating. they're not mutually exclusive, they don't mean the same thing. you can be a dominant bottom, or a submissive top. power bottoms are a thing. service tops are a thing.

i literally hate that people inherently assume that butches are tops and femmes are bottoms. like it's just kinda written in stone that femmes have to be submissive pillow princesses and butches have to be tops that take care of all of their needs and barely have theirs addressed at all. like, what about the butches who are bottoms? what about the femmes who are tops? also like you mentioned, do people literally not realize switches exist...? like that's literally also an option.

"butch" does not mean "top". "femme" does not mean "bottom". it's soooo gender essentialist and binarist to go. masc partner = top fem partner = bottom. you just recreated the cishet binary *again*. i can't get over how this is NOT progressive. i do NOT get why white cis lesbians think it's progressive to force butch lesbians to behave exactly like we expect cis men to behave, and force femme lesbians to behave exactly like we expect cis women to behave, but it's NOT PROGRESSIVE!

also, great point, which is that a lot of lesbians are ace. it's so shitty for someone to sit there and try to guess if you're a top or bottom when you're not even interested in sex. honestly is' gross as hell to analyze your friends' and prospective partners behaviors and categorize them into top or bottom. what the hell is wrong with people. that's not a joke, that's invasive, and creepy.

[kalinara]

(X-Men Red #9)

So my tangent in this post suddenly reminded me of this scene.

On one hand, I'm suddenly really interested in the fact that Scott is okay with what Xavier's trying to do with/to Gabriel here, comparing it to an information download. Alex, on the other hand, thinks it's a repair job, making it sound a lot more like repairing Scott's brain damage through resurrection would be. That's something Scott has categorically refused over and over again.

It's very rare that I say this: but Alex is right here, and it's a fascinating point of hypocrisy for Scott.

But the real reason I hunted down this scan is the reveal that Emma, rather than Jean, is the one who tends to be involved in Scott's resurrections.

I know Alex says he's not "dissecting" that one. But I find it fascinating.

So in the other post, I was thinking about the general lack of sexual jealousy that Scott tends to display, even in the midst of multiple love triangles. Even when Emma admits to having slept with other men. His one moment of territorialism ("they don't know you, not like I do") is emotional, rather than sexual.

It's interesting to relate that idea to what we see of their respective dynamics in Krakoa. It's never clear to me whether Scott and Emma actually sleep together in Krakoa. It definitely could have happened, I think. They've exchanged some flirty comments, at the very least.

But I feel like, ultimately, the real draw of their relationship to one another is emotional more than sexual. (Which doesn't mean they weren't banging! They don't necessarily have to be, though.) And that part has definitely held true. I think about the time when Scott and Jean have their little mini-coup in Swords of X. The most morally upright members of the Council all immediately volunteered to abdicate their positions and go with them. That wasn't surprising.

What WAS a bit surprising was when Emma offered to come too. She'd already put so much work into the Council, and honestly, a LOT of Krakoa's successes in terms of PR as well as economics pretty much came from her direction. The Autumn Council had loftier concerns. The Supervillain table was busy snarking and scheming. The hero table was busy disapproving and spreading themselves too thin. And even at her own table, Shaw was a hinderance more than a help, while Kate was more rebellious minded: a good guerilla rescuer, but not a politician.

So the fact that she was willing to give that up in that moment was significant. As was the fact that Scott immediately understood what she was offering and just as significantly let her off the hook. Because what she was doing and the work she was doing was significant.

And it makes a strange kind of sense that Emma's the one who is involved with his resurrections.

I mean, for one thing, I'm not sure Jean has ever done a resurrection before. I keep thinking I remember her doing one, but then I look back and it's actually Hope. (The problem when your f!sem daughter looks exactly like her "dad". Tangent: I still think that's how Rachel should finally come into 616 proper - let Jean knock up Scott. I feel like he'd be willing.)

It's interesting that Jean doesn't resurrect people though. It seems like she should have the skillset, being an Omega level telepath and all. But then, Quentin Quire doesn't resurrect people, either. Maybe that kind of restoration requires a subtler touch when they're like a sledgehammer.

And well, Jean might not be embracing the Phoenix at this time, there is the fact that she historically has never responded well to Scott being injured or dead. Even without the full space god powers, she could do a lot of damage if she's upset enough.

For all that it's Scott and Jean first and foremost for me, I do think sometimes he puts on a role for her. Like, even now, when you read the Phoenix: they talk about what she's doing while he volunteers very little beyond maybe a wistful question about timetables. Does she even know he's restarted the X-Men? Does she still think he's hanging about in his parents' cabin, recuperating?

She might know! But it says something, I think, that it's equally as plausible that she has no idea and will get extremely irked when she finds out.

I think he's more comfortable going mask off with Emma. So to speak. He finds it easier to express darker emotions and be more raw. Jean is the only one that can judge him while Emma won't ever judge because she accepts her own dark side and his.

...there's an interesting gender swap element with this. This is not an Archie with Betty vs. Veronica dynamic so much as it's one of those YA urban fantasy romance books again. Heh.

What I like about this though is that it's not a matter of one relationship being better than the other. They're just different. Emma likely would have been welcome on the Moon, but I think she'd take one look at that comfortable domesticity and run away screaming. That's never been something she's wanted.

And the decor is so pedestrian, darling.

But that's what makes it work. Scott and Jean are deeply in love, first in their hearts, wanting that life together - whatever that means, with their family (whoever's still alive), their kids (no matter how old they are or whatever dimension they come from), and everything else.

And even though Jean's off doing Space God things right now, there's no doubt that she'll be coming home eventually. And in the mean time, he's made her a "home" to take with her. Utterly unnecessary, given her powers, but comfortable and human.

Scott and Emma are partners. They understand each other on a soul deep level. They don't really make each other better, but they're always good at shoring each other up, being the ballast that the other needs to stand up and move forward.

At the same time, they live in different worlds. Scott would be miserable in her penthouse. He's not particularly suited to running a school that ISN'T also a garrison and we've never really seen him even try to actually teach. She's never wanted to be even step-mom to any of the Nathans or Rachel. She's got her own set of daughters, thank you very much, with their own complications. She hardly needs his.

So that's what makes the Krakoan polyamory work so well, because when it comes down to it, there's nothing really incompatible about these relationships. Jean and Emma aren't looking for the same thing from Scott. Well, I think they'd both enjoy having him tied to their bed, but they can figure out a schedule for that. Otherwise, the only obstacle to these relationships co-existing is the idea that you can only have a deep and meaningful non-platonic relationship with one person.

And Jean and Emma seem to appreciate that too, because aside from a snarky aside or two that involved both laughing, we don't actually see any jealousy from either of the women as well. They seem to have realized that since they both want different things, they've got no reason to compete.

I'd like to think they also bang. It'd be fun. Domme vs. Domme, go!

It does occur to me, yet again, how much of a missed opportunity the Throuple is.

I mean, I never expected much from the Scott/Logan end beyond the little scenes and hints that we did get. (More than I honestly expected, less than I'd like.) It always seemed pretty clear that they were slipping it past the radar and Marvel's cold feet wasn't surprising. I can write up something based on how they see them, but it's based on fannish interpretation, not established canon.

But I'm deeply disappointed at the wasted opportunity that is the Jean/Logan side of the Throuple.

Because this was the chance to FINALLY tell us what these characters see in each other and what they get from each other, and what an established relationship actually looks like between these two characters and we've got NOTHING.

These two characters were in the same book for a WHILE. Logan has a solo running simultaneously. There was room SOMEWHERE to establish what Jean and Logan as a couple actually look like. But all we get is one sex scene in the hot springs. And maybe that time where she telepathically supports him in X Lives of Wolverine, but she'd have done that even if they weren't together!

But it really seemed like the folks at Marvel were too enamored with lone cowboy Wolverine. Which would have been great at ANY other time, but right now, on Krakoa, Logan's got what he's always dreamed of: a romantic relationship with Jean Grey!

And we see almost none of it! (He also has kids, alive on Krakoa, and has so little interaction with them that the point where Laura gives him a world's greatest dad mug in Sabretooth War seems like a passive aggressive dig. Did he even get to meet Talon?!).

Despite a canon romantic/sexual relationship, we still have very little idea of what this couple actually means to each other. The beats that I've picked up: Logan's attraction to "Jeannie", as a girl next door type that inspires him to be a better, more civilized person. That's been established really early on. But we still don't know what that MEANS.

Jean's always seemed drawn to his inner nobility and the sacrifices he makes (it's explicitly what draws her to him in the mini-series set during Fall of Krakoa, and I think it's pretty compatible with what we've seen before.) But is that enough for a relationship?

I can extrapolate a bit here. Theirs is a sort of weird courtly romance. They're both drawn to an ideal that the other represents. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but to flesh that out into a real romance, we need to see it challenged. What does that MEAN?

We know Logan's not suited to domesticity. Jean doesn't really need that from him though since she's got a husband and children.

He is a very romantic figure though. In a way Scott hasn't been and could never be. If Scott ever had that tendency, it got carved away a long time ago. But Logan's survived amnesia and experiments and still goes strong.

I feel like you could do a lot with the idea of them as each other's oasis: kind of an escape from the pressures of their every day life, where they can just be romantic together - all the big gestures, the roses and champagne that's too civilized for him most of the time and too impractical for her.

...THAT's what I wanted to see from them. Sex in the hot springs is all well and good, but I wanted to see them with a candlelight dinner on the beach, enjoying those lovely, deep sensual moments that Logan would never find on his own, and would just bewilder the Scott Summers whose first impulse at finding himself with his wife at an isolated cabin was to suggest they clean it up.

But none of this is canon. It's as fannish as what I'd write up for Scott and Logan. Possibly more so, because at least Scott and Logan have had decades of their weird push-and-pull dynamic to fall back on. Jean spent a lot of that time dead!

The funny thing is, in the course of this post, I've finally discovered an interpretation of Jean/Logan that works for me, but I resent that it's my invention, when the folks at Marvel had a chance to sell us on a CANON interpretation but fumbled the ball entirely.

[utilitycaster]

Inspired actually by me nonstop thinking about the Young Witch Solving The Disappearance Of Her Neighbor's Cat In The Alps tweet since last night and a number of other unrelated posts I have been thinking about the concept of maturity in media, because I think there's a lot of different dimensions to that. It's a series of spectra, rather than a binary, and if you use the terms "mature" or "immature" you can quickly realize that a lot of our societal metrics for what's adult-appropriate vs. child appropriate are very skewed in specific and in my opinion untrue and unhelpful directions. This could honestly be a 10 page essay and I may very well write that when I'm on break but just to give you my outline here:

Stimulation - is it grabbing your attention with bright lights and loud sounds and fast action, or do you have to actively focus? Action films can be just as "jangly keys" as children's animation despite being an "adult" work, whereas something like Mad Men can have vivid colors but would bore a child to tears in terms of pace and action. However, and this will be an ongoing theme, you can have a very choppy, fast-paced narrative that is complex and a very slow and dull one that is incredibly simple and childish.

"Ratings" Subject Matter: Sex/Violence/Profanity. This is the one I think is most misleading, because you can have an incredibly puerile R-rated film, and you can have an immensely complex narrative without any of the above. [note: I have zero patience for people who act like sex and violence are inherently unnecessary wastes of time; they are merely things within a narrative that can be executed well or poorly, but it is true that something can have a simple plot and constant bright lights and stimulation and essentially be big old jingling mobile for infants but there's a sex scene in it so it's Adult Now. Unfortunately a lot of people are like "and this is why YA is inherently better" which we shall see is not the case.]

Other Difficult Subject Matter (I don't have a good name for it, but to give examples, death, racism, genocide, abuse, serious or chronic illness, etc). This one is tricky because all of the above are topics present in works for quite young children, because they can experience all the above or have someone close to them experience them, and fiction is a powerful teaching tool. Obviously the nature of how this is presented varies, and later points will cover it, but while in my opinion the simple presence of these topics says nothing about the work's level of maturity on its own I'm including it because you do get people who think that children should be shielded from all the above and would consider the mere inclusion of those topics as inappropriate. They're wrong, but it's definitely an axis of judgement/categorization that exists.

Adult-level processing of information (probably a misnomer in that teens can do this but like, teens read adult books all the time, and as Tumblr has shown us, many adults cannot do this): does the narrative require you be able to pick up on subtext? Do you need to understand what is relevant to the story and what isn't? Do you need to be comfortable with or at least able to tolerate not knowing entirely what is going on right away? Do you need to have a sense of irony? Is there an unreliable narrator?

Adult-level processing of moral complexity (in my limited, not a parent or educator experience, I honestly think teens do better with the information processing than this, ie, this is one of the last things to develop; also Tumblr is even worse): does the narrative require you accept that sometimes things are unfair and will never be fair? Do you need to accept a story in which the Quote Unquote Bad Guys walk free without real consequence? Do you need to accept a story in which no one's actions are entirely defensible or in which no choices are easy and clean and harmless? Do you need to attempt to understand an alien perspective? Is there senseless tragedy? This incidentally is how you separate out the children's books from the adult books on topics like illness or catastrophic events; a lot of children's books end with a message of "it's hard and sad, but it will be okay eventually" and focus on very relatable POV characters which is understandable! But, to use an example as someone who went to a Jewish school with a robust Holocaust education, elementary schoolers read Number the Stars in which the (entirely fictional) Jewish family escapes to Sweden; middle schoolers read Night in which Wiesel's (real) father dies painfully in front of him.

None of this is to say that escapism/cozy fiction/whatever you want to call it is bad - I am not interested in a diet entirely made of thorny moral quandaries and no happy endings. I enjoy a stupid turn off your brain action movie, or a fluffy romantasy. But I do think that a demand that every ending be happy and that Justice Be Served in every story is no less immature than saying "ew, there's kissing in this???"

[allisonlol]

HII !! could you do dazai, chuuya and fyodor with a s/o that forgot pretty much everything from their past/forgets a lot in the present due to trauma? if possible male reader, and if not gn works aswell! thank you :))

a/n: felt this req hard LOL

warnings: memory loss, past trauma (not elaborated on)

(Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor) With a S/O with Memory Loss From Trauma

Dazai

i feel like dazai can relate in some ways because he too has immense trauma but instead of forgetting it, he remembers it too well

therefore in a way he's grateful that ur brain is blocking those memories so u don't have to remember the pain

dazai had noticed your forgetful behavior the second he met you, and had already categorized it as due to trauma in your past

honestly finds your forgetfulness adorable but it also enrages him bc someone hurt you enough to cause it

simply does not comment on any of this though. if you mention that you forgot something that happened literally yesterday he'll simply smile at you (is that a hint of sadness in his expression?) and reassure u that it's okay

will text u updates throughout the day to make sure u aren't forgetting anything

pictures pictures pictures!!!! literally photographs everything u guys do together so you can always look back to remember :)

but unbeknownst to you, dazai will secretly do some deep digging into your past to find out exactly what happened and who to get revenge on <3

^trust me when i say they will deeply regret everything they had ever done to you

Chuuya

it's canon that chuuya can't remember what... the first 7 years of his life? so he totally understands

he won't question u at all abt the reasonings for your memory loss unless u wanted to talk abt it

does get worried abt your current forgetfulness though. with a job as strenuous as being in the mafia, having a good memory is important

^if any of the higher ups knew you weren't "sufficient enough" in that department, despite your other strengths, you would be disposed of

this added stress doesn't help you at all but chuuya does his best to keep you safe

^having a boyfriend who is also your executive is very useful in this aspect

leaves little notes and reminders on your desk so u won't forget anything important

hell, chuuya will even fill out reports for you if u were having trouble remembering the events that took place

i feel like he would also pay very close attention to everything u guys do together so, if you forgot, he would be able to tell you all about it

Fyodor

another one who categorized your memory loss as due to trauma the second he met you

unlike the others tho, he will question u about it

if you’re honest with him & say that it’s due to traumatic events, he’ll ask if you want him to do anything about it for you (in other words, find and eliminate the ones who caused it 😊)

^if you say no to this, he’ll nod and agree with u but secretly hunt them down on his own

however if you lie to fyodor and say that you’re just forgetful (not due to trauma) he’ll frown & keep asking probing questions until he gets the truth out of u

has he heard of privacy? like damn

^its out of love tho. not saying it’s right but fyodor shows his care by learning as much abt u as possible. he needs to know everything, good or bad

finds your current forgetfulness adorable, albeit irritating at times (remember who we’re talking abt here)

if you forgot an event or important piece of information he will get slightly annoyed with you & might say some insensitive things 😬

^tho once he sees that he’s upset you, fyodor will usually sigh and apologize

recommends u keep a journal for reminders, however he also logs all events that u do alone or together so you won’t forget in the future

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