#I have strange relationship with this game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vxxcte · 3 days ago

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Extremely long rant on 001 & 457:

3.4k+ words

—

Intro

Yesterday I finished season 2 of Squid Game. I have so much to say about In-ho’s and Gi-hun’s dynamics and writing.

Keep in mind this is my interpretation of these characters and their dynamics, and some of that is speculation. I’m just yapping because I have a lot to say. Maybe this takes on a much more optimistic view than is actually the case, but I fear it makes sense to me.

I have seen two takes about 457 around pretty often:

“They’re in love.” or:

“In-ho feeds off of Gi-hun’s pain because he’s just an evil guy.”

These can both be true in a way, but when no one talks about the little details of the character writing and the relationship between these two guys, it feels like the incredible potential and writing that this duo has is being overlooked.

Note, I will be referring to this Youtube video throughout this post:

youtube

Now let’s start with what we know already. It’s pretty evident that In-ho is not totally emotionless like many people are trying to imply or interpret him as.

Here’s why.

—

Hwang In-Ho and The Traitor Archetype

There are two ways in which a character like 001 can be portrayed.

TYPE 1 : The undercover ‘friend’ who is working against the main character can be shown to the audience as the ordinary cast member, and then it will be a plot twist when the protagonist learns with the audience the truth of this character. Usually the demeanor of this undercover ‘ally’ is not shown too obviously because it might take away from the impact of the plot twist later.

TYPE 2 : or You can go down the route that Squid Game did go. We knew Frontman’s face, so it was no use trying to convince us he was a good guy. His personality was not exaggerated like some Type 1 characters can be. Characters like this are not particularly hidden from the audience’s suspicion/accusation because we already know. And in these cases, the writers do not often need to give these characters disguise-personalities. In Squid Game, we as an audience know where to look for the cracks in In-ho’s character, where the ways in which his real identity shows through.

There was that time he killed someone in front of Jung-bae. It would have been out of nowhere for a story where they hadn’t shown his identity before, but we knew exactly what was going on. So let’s look at the instances before it was shown directly to other characters.

Here are the instances where we know for sure that his real self is slipping through.

In-ho more than once asks people questions and engages with them in a manner that might not come across as too strange to them. But to the audience, those who know he is an outsider, and thus know to pay attention to the possible intent behind his every word, it stands out.

In-ho engages with the people who are truly inside the game as specimens to observe. That’s partly why he’s there, after all. For example, take the instance during the Mingle game where he questioned Geum-ja about her son’s character. He doesn’t need to hide his sort of objective, detached curiosity (which extends slightly outside Gi-hun), about these people and how they work, because no one is keeping an eye out for it.

Because of this, I believe he did not need to make any extra efforts to mask his natural personality, beyond the bare necessary minimum.

—

In-ho’s Humor

Another reason I think that him not faking his personality a good amount of the time is his humor. The jokes and the ideas for jokes that one comes up with is very telling of their inner processes and their ability to make connections between things. These also provide an insight as to what they themselves find funny, or what they think others around them will find funny/react to.

First the joke he made about Gi-hun’s last name, and then about Jun-hee’s child as a sixth member in the Mingle game, both display a sort of consistent sense of dad joke type of humor. It is hard to fake humor that you are not well-versed in, and even harder if you put yourself in an unfamiliar environment with little preparation, purely to observe people.

Considering the fact that In-ho is evidently still in the process of observing these people up close as people rather than players, it would have been difficult to first think of a joke that they would enjoy and then deliver it successfully.

He could have gone without. He characterized himself in the others’ eyes well enough to go without making these jokes. It’s not like he was putting on any false performance for us, the audience (as noted above), and he was only omitting certain information from the other characters. There should be nothing ulterior that motivates him to go further and come up with a new/different sense of humor.

This leads me (personally) to read these interactions as genuine. These were jokes he thought of and spoke aloud, not to fool Gi-hun and the others, but because they naturally came to his mind and he decided to share them.

And villain-type character as he is now, he is still a person.

—

In-ho and his Family

There are other moments we saw from him that were genuine.

There was the information we got from his mother and Jun-ho, how he gave his brother his kidney and how his wife died.

Then In-ho lost his composure when Thanos told him to lecture his own kid. This was not an act—It would have been entirely unnecessary if he wanted everyone to believe he was a nice guy capable of little harm. This was genuine from him, he lost control and it was reasonable and it was real.

So when he told Gi-hun about his wife and unborn child that he is supposedly now in the games for, the things we have seen so far also point to that scene being a genuine interaction from him. His expressions did not hide it either.

And if all of that is not enough, he did not kill his brother. He sent Captain Park to find Jun-ho. In-ho put his brother, who knew exactly who Frontman is now, who now has something to work with, over his whole operation—It wouldn’t be too large a reach to say this.

Hwang In-ho is Not Without Emotion

Now we’ve subverted the whole idea of In-ho being some emotionless monster that some people online want to say he is. He may lack morals but he does not lack personality/emotion.

I didn’t even get into the way he cheered in the 5-minigame rounds or the way the first thing he did when he found Gi-hun in the Games was knowingly shit-talk him to his face, but I already have this much. This is all my evidence for In-ho being very and incredibly human, my case for him having a defined personality, fake player aside.

This is almost all sourced from lines in the show, rather than just visual acting which can be interpreted multiple ways. Thus every bit of the things I talked about is likely intentional.

Justice for my queen In-ho he is a great character and I enjoy him and his writing a LOT.

—

457 Introduction

I like to call 457 toxic yaoi as much as the next guy, but it’s so much more than just the visible tension/chemistry between them. It’s more than enmity, it’s more than friendship and it’s more than romance too. Why stick labels on it when it’s so much more complicated?

Although on that note, before I get into the deeper stuff I just want to point out that all this staring at each other’s lips and whatnot was probably not something the actors decided to throw in on their own, considering the ‘I don’t understand it but it’s not unpleasant’ comment about the ship from Lee Byung-hun. So was it scripted for them to be doing allat? Lord knows, we’ll find out in June (fitting).

I am not even getting into how In-ho spoke to Gi-hun without his mask on and let him hear his real voice when Gi-hun won his first set of Games. There is something that has the potential to be very intimate about that.

And then there’s the little storytelling bit of how Gi-hun’s stubbornness reminds In-ho of his dead wife, and then how that exact determination was what wavered in Gi-hun at the end.

—

Pre-Games 2024

Let’s start with the limo dialogues, when In-ho told Gi-hun he wished he would’ve led a happy life.

He has no reason to wish Gi-hun ill, especially after Gi-hun won the games and left. In-ho likely saw himself in Gi-hun even back when Gi-hun won, and genuinely did wish him the happy life that In-ho himself did not end up having.

And how many people like Gi-hun has In-ho seen? Ever?

What kind of person does Gi-hun have to be, how notable in In-ho’s eyes does he have to be, for the person that administrates the Games to show himself to the person who wants to end them?

Gi-hun survived the Games without directly causing anyone’s death. In this place that tries to bring out the worst in anyone, even when Gi-hun fucked up in the marble game, he regretted it and turned back. This already sets him apart from anyone else, and especially sets him apart from In-ho, who took the darker road and climbed up the system.

You could say, ‘But other people have regretted their actions in the Games.’ But how many people get 45.6 billion won over 455 people’s deaths, and then come back, not for money, but to prevent further death? And how many people come back and become the Front Man?

Gi-hun went back with all that money to find his mom dead, presumably in a similar way to how In-ho went back with all the money he won but his wife died anyway.

There is a system that crushes people under it, In-ho realizes somewhere down the line, and then there is a way to remove those people. Gi-hun sees it another way: change the system.

—

Friends

Both of these people came into the Games for the sake of their loved ones. One came out of the process corrupt, and one returned determined to root out the corruption.

This year, aside from In-ho, there are 454 other people in this year’s Games that he does not know or necessarily care about. And then there is Gi-hun.

He knows Gi-hun. In-ho is a previous winner, just like Gi-hun, he is returning to the game for Gi-hun just as Gi-hun returned for In-ho. In-ho sees Gi-hun as more worthy of his time than anyone else. And all of this comes dangerously close to seeing Gi-hun as an equal, someone he has attached his narrative to, more than anyone else around.

And I think this opens up the possibility that In-ho could have come to see Gi-hun as a friend in some moments. There were moments in the games where he was a little too enthusiastic about their own wins for someone who does not need to put on a fully fake persona (and there was the instance with the soju which I get into later).

So surely there could have been moments where In-ho genuinely considered Gi-hun a friend, however short-lived the moments were, however foreign the concept of a friend has become to him.

I don’t mean this in the sense that there are full-fledged periods of time where In-ho is seeing Gi-hun as a friend, or that In-ho was spending any amounts of time being genuinely immersed as his persona. That feels like a stretch.

But you know when you dislike someone that you’re talking to? And in the moment, the awareness of your dislike fades for a bit, and you’re about to laugh at something they said. And then that’s when you realize you’re not actually supposed to be finding anything they say funny? You’re not supposed to actually fw them? This is what I mean by ‘moments In-ho might have seen Gi-hun as a friend.’

The difference between the example scenario (closest I could get) and what I think might be the case with In-ho is that in In-ho’s case, it is not purely borne out of dislike. Rather, it likely just occurs to him who he actually is now, reminds him that it’s not 2015. It reminds him why he’s actually in the Games this round, and that automatically can serve to detach him.

It can be difficult for a genuine person to consistently have an enjoyable person around people they have to fake their personality around, for one. And for another, he is the one who’s killing almost everyone here.

This part is, of course, more speculation and yapping compared to the rest of the post, which I actually tried to support with some form of logic or evidence. But I need to yap about all my speculations (This post is not purely analysis, as I mentioned at the start), and I think this take helps make better sense of the other instances with In-ho’s character that I’ve mentioned.

And this could be what In-ho’s ‘conflicted feelings’ about Gi-hun (from the video linked up top) are all about.

—

How In-ho Sees Gi-Hun

Gi-hun refuses to remain powerless. He acts for change, refuses to give himself over to the system like In-ho has. He doesn’t shut up and take the money he’s given. He keeps fighting to end the Games, for other people who are caught in it.

And this does not make sense to In-ho. We don’t know enough about him. Maybe he tried this exact same thing that Gi-hun is trying. Or maybe he never did, and became who he is without putting up a proper fight.

This is someone who, so far, has remained unbending in his goal for change. This is someone who, in a facility designed to make people prioritize their own survival, gave a man he barely knew for 3 days a magazine, while he himself was getting shot at, while ammo was short.

In-ho lies to Gi-hun about his name, but he tells him about his wife. He bares an old part of his soul to him, the part of it that lingers from back when he was like Gi-hun. He has seen immeasurable death and has caused it, but there was a time he might have wanted to stop it too, and now there is someone like that again.

In-ho bared a part of himself to the person who came here to take him down because he saw his old self in him. And in turn that person did something In-ho never would’ve done at this point in time—Gi-hun extended this seemingly-pointless goodness to him too.

I like to think In-ho was so interested in Gi-hun because he wanted to see how he himself might've become, had he only taken a different view of life.

In-ho might deep down be expecting him to fail, yes, but he roots for him, roots for a version of himself that never made it. He’s curious. Lee Byung-hun has said In-ho is conflicted about his feelings towards Gi-hun, and secretly might even root for him (see the link at the bottom of this post).

In-ho stares at Gi-hun so intently to try and understand him as best he can. He wants to know what’s going on in Gi-hun’s head, the changes someone undergoes in short periods of time in enclosed death game facilities, a new experiment in the head of someone who is returning a second time. How will Gi-hun hold up? He wants to see his future.

—

The Breaking of Gi-hun’s Resolve (or the Changing)

Gi-hun loses the plot.

He couldn’t save everyone at first like he intended, he couldn’t get out fast because they got his tracker, and his resolve weakens, and he deems it necessary to sacrifice some people for the greater good.

When Gi-hun realizes he can’t save everyone, when he trades in an unnumbered amount of people for a shot to end the whole system, and he gives in.

Maybe In-ho sees himself in that weakening of Gi-hun’s resolve. It’s possible he doesn’t like it because he genuinely wanted Gi-hun to remain unwavering, as Lee Byung-hun said In-ho rooted for him. Or maybe In-ho does like it, because he’s satisfied for the confirmation that his view was right, that his path was inevitable all along.

This could be another point of conflict for In-ho’s feelings towards Gi-hun. Maybe that’s why he decided to fake the death of Young-il right then and put a stop to that operation: Of course, it’s partly because he’s Frontman and he can’t let the Games end. But on another hand, the coup was failing anyway, even without his betrayal and return as Frontman.

This then brings to light the possibility that he decided that, because Gi-hun gave in, In-ho decided he’s seen enough from by Gi-hun’s side. It confirmed something for him, confirmed that Gi-hun’s failure was inevitable because of human nature. And that was enough observing from up-close.

But then that confirmation, Gi-hun’s reluctant admission to the need of collateral, is thrown into question again, only a couple of hours later, when In-ho meets up with Gi-hun and Jung-bae. Gi-hun gives In-ho a magazine when ammo is short, and even when In-ho asks him, “Are you sure?” Gi-hun insists.

Sure, Gi-hun traded all those lives for this opportunity, but he is willing to risk lessening his own chance for survival for the sake of his friends, too.

—

“Are you sure?”

Then there is the question: Why did In-ho ask Gi-hun if he was sure about giving him the magazine?

Why would he provide the opportunity to think again on this? It wouldn’t benefit him at all if Gi-hun were to take the magazine back—Not that Gi-hun would. Gi-hun doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean, especially not in situations like this, and this even In-ho should know.

It could be a final test of Gi-hun’s character. Or it could be that this is one of those moments where In-ho genuinely saw Gi-hun as a friend.

Lee Byung-hun has said (from the video) that In-ho’s character was a very nuanced and detailed one that he had to be very careful portraying. That look on In-ho’s face when Gi-hun gave him that magazine was not any error on the actor’s end. It did mean something to In-ho, whatever it may have meant.

—

Jung-bae, Gi-hun, In-ho, and soju

I’m gonna get into the technicalities of exactly what In-ho’s motivations were in taking this specific bit of Gi-hun’s and Jung-bae’s conversation and using it with Gi-hun later.

I don’t entirely disagree when others call it jealousy, but it feels unfitting to arrive at that conclusion with no further thought. So here’s how I see it.

When Gi-hun and Jung-bae were talking about going out for soju, In-ho was eavesdropping. Then later, In-ho tells Gi-hun later to go out for soju together someday.

If In-ho really intended the unfulfilment of the shared plan between Gi-hun and himself to devastate, this was not an ideal or necessary move, and I’m sure he knows that. And I’ve covered earlier, to my interpretation he does not bother to act like someone he is not unnecessarily.

It would’ve been smarter if he had his own conversation about future plans with Gi-hun, instead of leeching off the soju date idea that Gi-hun already planned with Jung-bae.

In-ho probably did plan on killing Jung-bae at that point, be it eventually or through the later Games, because he probably does not really care about anyone besides Gi-hun enough to spare them, or even just as much as he might care about Gi-hun (not necessarily platonically or romantically, maybe, but in terms of overall investment). And maybe he intended to use Jung-bae’s, and Young-il’s, death as another test of Gi-hun’s character.

But In-ho/Young-il’s ‘death,’ objectively and inevitably, means less to Gi-hun than the death of his best friend. This is not to say that Gi-hun subconsciously measures the weights or grief values of these deaths, obviously. It is just to say that he has known In-ho for only a couple days and it is bound to impact him less, just like how Ali’s death did not hit him quite as hard as Sang-woo’s did.

(Admittedly, season 1 did have a lot less focus on character relationships than season 2 does, but it wasn’t so little that a lot would’ve changed in Gi-hun’s reactions either way).

This, combined with the order and intensity of events in the last episode, most likely means that Jung-bae’s death overshadows In-ho’s ‘death’ in Gi-Hun’s mind.

And this would be obvious. So what purpose does ‘You can treat me with a glass of soju when we get out’ even serve? It’s not going to affect Gi-hun in the long run as much as Jung-bae would.

Gi-hun had a much-needed conversation with his good friend and their plan to get soju was borne of reminiscence of their shared past and desire to make it out. But when In-ho brought it up, it was done in an offhand manner in a two-sentence exchange. This is impossible to happen anyway and In-ho knows it.

If he wanted Gi-hun’s full investment in a plan to go out together, maybe for the purpose of hurting/testing him with it, surely he would’ve done something more than this. He knew it wouldn’t stick as well. So then why did he say it? What purpose would this actually serve?

If, even after all this, In-ho he thought that this soju appointment would affect Gi-hun as much as Jung-bae’s might have, then I might say jealousy nurses delusion.

Or maybe it was something genuine. Maybe that moment, when Gi-hun thanked him for saving his life and In-ho said ‘You can get me a glass of soju when we get out,’ maybe that was another one of those short-lived moments in which In-ho did see Gi-hun as something like a friend.

—

Conclusion

Because of the fact that he is more genuine than one might originally guess (according to my interpretation), I would like to say that he did consider Gi-hun a friend sometimes.

And their dynamic is just so fascinating to me. Likely the first I’ve ever seen of this kind.

They’re in love, they hate each other, they’re friends, they’re opposites.

They’re the first person the other looks for upon separation, they’re trying to put a stop to the other’s plans, they’re good friends.

They’re representations of the roads the other didn’t take, they’re mirrors, they lean into each other more than necessary even when cuffed together, In-ho finds the pieces of humanity he lost in Gi-hun, they’re foils, they were friends.

I won’t be recovering for a while.

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megalony · 1 day ago

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I'm So Cold

This is my first time writing for Joseph Quinn's character Michael in the movie Hoard. This is for @missdreamofendless I hope you like it and thank you for spurring me to write it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22 @mrsyixingunicorn10 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @talicat713 @niamhmbt @strawberry-canyon @bieberhoodforever @911fangirlie @hollandxxmix @jasmineee05

Main Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Michael have a strange type of relationship since he came to stay with them. But when (Y/n) comes back shaken from a night of sleepwalking, Michael makes it his mission to look after her.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What (Y/n) had with Michael was… different, to say the least.

It wasn't romantic, not most of the time anyway. It was unique, nostalgic and invoking.

He brought about the memories in (Y/n) that she thought were long gone, he unlocked aspects and moments from her childhood with her mum that had been repressed. And (Y/n) made michael feel like he was back in an era before he went to live with his brother. She made him want to act out those childhood memories that he thought he'd forgotten.

Their bond was strange, but (Y/n) wouldn't change it for anything. Since the moment Michael came to stay with her and Michelle, things had changed. Things became interesting. He made (Y/n) feel like she was living in a game and he changed the rules.

It had been the small things at first. The way he would brush up against her or rest a hand on her shoulder when he was walking past her or weaving behind her in the kitchen. Then it was the way he squished next to her on the sofa until their thighs were pressing together and she could feel each breath he took.

Michelle worked a lot, she always had, and now that (Y/n) had finished school, Michelle could take those extra shifts without worrying because (Y/n) was fine to be home alone.

With Michael here, that changed things. The second week of him being with them was when he'd kissed her.

(Y/n) had never been kissed like that before. She'd never felt that sense of hunger or had someone pin her against the wall like he thought he would die if she walked away from him.

Something seemed to happen whenever they were alone. Whether that was them running around the house like they were playing a frantic, grown up game of chase or whether it was them running around the streets causing mayhem in their wake. Whatever it was, something always made the days interesting and they seemed to feed off of one another.

(Y/n) loved it, but she couldn't help but want a little more. More than waiting for Michael to make the move and kiss her. More than just being someone he found fun to kiss when no one else was home because they both knew it wasn't exactly normal or 'right'.

A sigh got caught in the back of (Y/n)'s throat as she leaned against the door frame to the living room. Michelle, who (Y/n) classed and thought of as her own mother, was sat on the sofa against the back wall, nursing a cup of tea. She had Sam sat next to her, their neighbour who was more of an aunt to (Y/n) with how often she came round and helped out whenever needed.

Her girls were sitting on the other sofa, tangled together as they laughed at whatever strange, stupid joke they had come up with now. (Y/n) didn't get along with either of them, but she tolerated them. There was no other choice when she saw them almost every day and they were always coming round with their mum.

As hard as (Y/n) tried, she couldn't keep her eyes on the tv that was blasting out the news channel. There was only one person her eyes kept levitating to. Michael. Sat on the arm of the sofa, so close to the door frame that if (Y/n) leaned in just a little, her arm would undoubtedly brush against his back.

She stopped herself before she leaned and got too close. Everyone was in here. She didn't want them to notice or to cause a scene, and she certainly didn't want Sam's girls- or Michelle- knowing how close she wanted to be to their house guest.

Her fingers drummed against the door as she pulled away and filtered into the kitchen to make herself a drink. She clicked the kettle on and slumped her forearms down on the counter while she stared out into the garden.

(Y/n) found herself becoming lost in thought as she stared out the window to her left.

What would things be like when Michael eventually found his own place and moved out? Would he still stop by? Would she still see him? Would he even want to know her once he didn't live here anymore, or was (Y/n) just a way to occupy his time and find some fun before he left?

Every thought possible ran around in her mind until she found herself becoming dizzy, but a shiver scratched down her spine when she suddenly felt a body pressing up beside her.

Her head twisted to the right and she looked up, wide-eyed to see Michael stood beside her.

There was that usual half smirk playing on his lips and the way he inclined his head to the side looked like there was a question he wanted to ask her, but he stayed silent. He seemed to observe her for a moment and when his tongue slid out to drag along his lower lip while his eyes dragged unceromoniously slow up and down her body.

She stayed leaning on the counter, her lower back and bum arched out as she waited for Michael to make a move. Clearly he had come in here for a reason.

"Need something?" Her voice came out a lot quieter than she wanted and it made her dart her eyes down to look at the counter.

But her nerves felt like they had been set on fire when she felt Michael's hands on her hips before she even noticed him move. Her hands flexed and pressed against the counter when she felt him weave behind her. She wasn't sure even he knew what he was doing or what he was trying to do, he seemed to be making it up as he went along and so far, he was doing a good job.

His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips and he moved to stand directly behind her which caused (Y/n) to straighten up and press her lower waist into the counter. She was trying to give him room to walk behind her since the kitchen was the size of a shoe box, barely enough room for one person to move around, let alone two.

But Michael didn't care. Instead of moving to the side, he stepped even closer to (Y/n), moulding himself up against her back while his thumbs began to glide up and down her waist and dipped beneath her shirt.

"Excuse me," His lips hovered over the shell of her ear and (Y/n) didn't need to look to know that he was smiling as he leant over until his chest was firmly pressing down on her back.

His left hand stayed on her hip while his right arm stretched above her to open the cupboard in front of them. He pulled two cups out and set them down on the counter; he noticed (Y/n) had put the kettle on but she hadn't found herself a cup or even started to make a drink yet.

(Y/n) had the urge to say 'you're excused' which was her given sarcastic response but she was afraid that saying that would cause Michael to walk away from her. She didn't want him to move, not one inch.

Instead, her wide eyes followed him as he tilted his head to the side so he was looking down at her with that smirk that could get him anything he wanted. It probably always had.

The kettle whistled and boiled in the background, but neither of them made a move to reach over and actually start making a drink.

It felt like an eternity passed between them as (Y/n) stared at those large chocolate eyes and continuously darted her gaze down to his blushing pink lips that he kept licking and grazing his teeth against. He noticed her looking. It was clear by the way his smile broadened and he sank his teeth down into his lower lip, pulling it between his teeth as he inched his face closer to hers.

In a moment of bravery, or weakness, (Y/n) let go of the counter and carefully turned around on her heels until she was facing him. Her hips pressing bruisingly into the counter while Michael's hands stayed planted firmly on her waist. But this time, his chest was moulding against hers.

She could feel each deep breath he took, she could see every rise and fall of his chest. She could almost see his heart pulsing away in his chest which was causing the vein in his neck to throb.

She could feel his hands that were digging tightly into her waist like he was trying to imbed his fingers into her skin. She could feel his thighs pushing down on hers and pressing her legs into the counter and try as she might, she couldn't help but feel how he was pressing his groin into hers.

(Y/n) wasn't sure where she got her surge of courage from, but she moved her hands until her fingertips were lightly tracing across Michael's chest. He was wearing a vest, something he was frequently wearing unless he was going on a night out. Even beneath his work overalls he wore a vest rather than a shirt.

Her fingers traced over the discoloured cream and red vest like she was drawing patterns and she noticed Michael tilting his head down so he could watch her movements with intrigue.

One hand slithered across his chest and up the side of his neck until her hand was cradling the side of his face. Her thumb brushed across his jaw and the expanse of his cheek, feeling the beginning of stubble tickling the pad of her thumb while her fingers traced along his jaw and neck.

Michael's hand stayed on her hip, practically clenching her flesh between his fingers and her breath caught in her throat when his other hand cupped the back of her neck. Squeezing just enough so a shiver coursed down her skin and a beautiful tingling sensation spread through her nerves.

He angled her head back and surged down to attach his lips to hers. It always felt like taking a drug whenever he kissed her. It felt like (Y/n) was falling through the air and she came to a horrible crash landing when he eventually let her go and walked away from her.

Their teeth clashed as he kissed her like the world was going to end and he wanted it to burn in flames on a high note. She could feel his tongue clashing against her teeth as his surprisingly warm lips devoured hers and he leaned into her so much that her back began to bend and press uncomfortably into the counter. But she didn't care. Not as long as he kept kissing her like this.

"Are you two making a cuppa?"

Their lips broke apart with a slight gasp and (Y/n) felt her chest heaving against Michael's as he continued to press against her like he was trying to crush her.

She watched the way his eyes darted to the doorway, but he visibly relaxed when he realised Michelle wasn't stood there. She had called out from the living room.

"Yeah."

(Y/n) was glad Michael spoke, she wasn't sure she could trust her voice right now without giving away that something was going on in here.

Michael's hand left her neck which caused (Y/n)'s head to loll back and a wicked grin spread across his lips. He ducked down and attached his lips to the side of her neck, instantly sinking his teeth into her skin which caused (Y/n) to clamp her hands down on his shoulders. He couldn't leave a mark, not one that anyone could see or they would suspect and ask questions. But she didn't have the heart or the words to ask him to stop.

That was the thing about him, he felt addictive to (Y/n). He felt like a drug which she couldn't say no to. When they wandered the streets late in the afternoon causing mischief, when they ran around the house like crazed teenagers or tackled each other to the ground like they were on drugs. It was all so enticing and addictive. All (Y/n) wanted was to be around Michael and to be with him.

But she didn't know whether he wanted that, or whether he simply wanted the mayhem they created and the hyped feeling he got at the fact that they were sneaking around the house. Just like this.

The way he pressed further into her made (Y/n) bend back on the counter and she tested the waters by pushing her hips out into him which caused him to groan lowly against her neck and send vibrations through her throat.

She wasn't sure what his free hand was doing while his other hand was on her shoulder. Until she heard a familiar clink and realised he was getting more cups out the cupboard. They had been asked to pour some more drinks for the others in the living room.

It was a good job Michael had his ears tuned in to their surroundings while (Y/n) felt like her head was filling up with static and her heartbeat was vibrating throughout her system. He heard the sound of the sofa creaking and when the familiar sound of slippers against the laminate caught his attention, he moved. Fast.

His hands left (Y/n) and he sidestepped to the right so he was no longer stood between her legs, pressing up against her like he was trying to mould them into one person.

He swiped his hand across the back of his mouth and beneath his nose as he took a deep breath and shook his head to try and rid the lust from his eyes and calm down his system.

It wouldn't do him any good for Michelle to find out that the lad she was letting sleep in the living room was making out and sleeping with her young daughter. He trained his eyes on the cups in front of him and began tossing tea bags into each one while his foot anxiously tapped against the floor.

(Y/n) made him riled up, she had since the moment they met. He was always on edge around her, always so eager to attach himself to her and jump her and kiss the life out of her. He didn't know why she had such an effect on him like this, but he liked it. He liked what she did to him, even if he didn't quite understand it.

His eyes carefully glanced to the right and he managed a tight lipped smile when he saw Michelle leaning against the doorframe.

"Are you staying in for dinner?" It was clear her question was directed at Michael and he mustered the best smile he could when he felt (Y/n)'s eyes burning into him.

He could feel her arm brushing up against his as she turned around to grab the kettle and began filling the cups. And he could feel her eyes flickering up to him as if she were eagerly awaiting his response too. The other day when he was home in time to eat dinner with her and Michelle, he ended up gliding hid hand over (Y/n)'s thigh beneath the table to try and see what kind of response he gained. It had been an interesting night.

"Ah, no, thanks. I'm heading out later." He shook his head when Michelle grinned in that all-knowing kind of way and murmured 'with a girl?' but his denial only seemed to make her chuckle as she got the milk from the fridge.

A wince tore through him which he couldn't hide when he noticed (Y/n)'s expression fall and saw how she took a tiny, almost unnoticeable step away from him.

He wanted to stay, he wanted to be here. He wanted to spend all his time around (Y/n), but he didn't think he could control himself when he was around her.

Once her drink was made, (Y/n) nursed the cup between her hands and weaved around Michael, brushing up against his side as she passed. She had no reason to feel jealous or annoyed if he was going out, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be around him. He had no idea how desperate he made her feel.

But he was staying for a few more weeks. There would be plenty of opportunities for (Y/n) to be around Michael and be with him and kiss him just like she had just now.

***

He didn't like this.

The longer he waited, the more panicked Michael started to feel.

Part of him wasn't even sure why he was worrying. It wasn't as if he was (Y/n)'s boyfriend or brother or guardian. He wasn't even a close friend, he was just the guy that was crashing at her mum's house for a while. He was the guy sleeping in the back room.

He shouldn't even be worrying or waiting up like this, it could be seen as creepy.

But when Michael got back and quietly crept in so he didn't wake anyone, he knew something was off. He just had a sixth sense that something wasn't right and when he looked around, it hit him. The door had been open, he didn't have to use his keys to get in. The door was never open this late at night, it was always locked.

(Y/n)'s keys were in the door, she had unlocked the door for something. The hallway light was on too which wasn't normal unless someone was up during the night.

Michael couldn't help it, he couldn't help but creep up the stairs and rap his knuckles on (Y/n)'s door. He kept telling himself he was being silly until he opened her door and realised she wasn't there.

She had gone out and it was late, what was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to just go lie down and try to sleep? Was he meant to wake Michelle and tell her (Y/n) had gone out when she hadn't mentioned going anywhere earlier?

It was past midnight. Only drunks an freaks would be out on the street at this time of night and (Y/n) wouldn't blend in or mingle with them. Anything could happen to her, especially if she was alone. Michael hoped she wasn't alone. He hoped she was with someone, she was less likely to be hurt or in some sort of accident if someone was with her.

His fingers began to tap down on the kitchen counter as his head lolled from left to right. He had tried to sit in the back room but he couldn't put the tv on and risk waking Michelle up and he couldn't go to sleep until (Y/n) came home and he knew that she was alright. He had tried to make himself a coffee to sober up- since he had been out drinking with the lads from work- but the cup had long since gone cold and he had barely touched it.

For what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour, Michael grabbed his phone from the counter and scrolled through the messages he had sent (Y/n). She hadn't opened or seen any of them. She hadn't responded. She didn't even have the curtesy to tell him that she was okay or tell him where she was right now.

His foot tapped incessantly against the floor as his shoulders hunched over and he tried to write out a new message to her. But before he was halfway done, the sound of the front door clicking open caught his full attention.

His head snapped up and his body straightened like he had grown three inches as his wild eyes set on (Y/n).

It was her. She was back. She was safe.

Seeing her walk through the door set off something inside Michael. It felt like a firework had launched in the pit of his gut and was now exploding through his chest, splintering off in all directions throughout his system that was now shaking and buzzing with adrenaline and anger.

Before he could stop himself he launched his phone down on the counter, barely hearing the way it clattered and bounced against the wooden counter and bashed into the toaster. He didn't care about making noise anymore and threatening to wake Michelle. She could wake up for all he cared. (Y/n) had finally come home, now she could explain.

The look of anger that was seething on Michael's face made (Y/n) wince when she meekly nudged the door shut behind her with her elbow. Her head aimed down but when she looked up through her lashes, the anger was still present and combined with how his face was now turning a dark shade of red.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

His words made her jump and the gritty tone to his low voice made (Y/n) whimper unintentionally. She didn't want to move, she didn't want to step any closer when he was clearly upset with her, but she couldn't just stand in the hallway like this.

She needed to move. She needed help.

Michael's chest continued to heave, straining against his red and white vest as his eyes focused on (Y/n). But the closer she got towards him, the more his angered expression morphed into a look of confusion.

Something was wrong. It hadn't dawned on him when she walked through the door to take in her attire. He assumed when she wasn't home that she had gone out with a friend or to a pub or something like that. But now that he looked her up and down, he realised that couldn't have been the case.

Where on earth had she gone in just a t-shirt and shorts?

"Wh- what happened?" His brows furrowed when she finally stood in front of him and he felt his heart clench when he realised she was hovering a foot away from him. As if she was too afraid to get close because he looked so frustrated with her. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, he would never want that.

When she didn't answer him, he took the initiative and stepped forward towards her instead. One hand curled around her arm but he almost pulled back in shock when he took in how cold her skin was. She felt like a block of ice, he had never known her to be so cold. And she was trembling.

He carefully hovered his other hand in front of her mouth, feeling each frozen breath she let out. And he couldn't stop himself from gliding the back of his fingers across her lips.

The feeling almost short-circuited (Y/n)'s brain. He had never touched her lips like that before, the most he had done was kiss them. His touch on her lips was so gentle and sensitive as if he thought pressing any harder would cause her to fracture. (Y/n) resisted the urge to kiss his fingers, mainly because she felt too numb and frozen to actually move.

"Your lips are blue… God, you're freezing." She was stone cold and her lips had changed to a dark shade of navy. But when Michael glanced his eyes down to see if her legs were undoubtedly as cold as the rest of her, his frown deepened. "Haven't you heard of shoes?"

Why was she barefoot? No socks, no shoes, and he would have noticed if she took them off when she came in. Why had she gone out on such a cold night in her bare essentials? What had happened for her to flee the house in such a state and become so cold? She was going to make herself sick.

Michael started to shake and his brown eyes went wide, almost fully overtaken by his pupils when (Y/n) let out a small, feeble cry. Horrible bouts of shaking scattered through her system but he wasn't sure whether she was shaking because she was frozen cold or because she was afraid or in some state of shock.

His knees bent and both hands moved to grip her arms as he crouched down a little so they were level and he could look into her petrified eyes. She had to talk to him. She hadn't spoken one word since she came in and he had to know what was going on.

"I w- I woke up near a bus stop. I had to- to walk back."

"You…" For a moment or two, Michael simply narrowed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't understand. He had no idea what that meant or what she was talking about. She had gone out. She hadn't been in bed asleep.

Another minute ticked by as Michael scanned his eyes up and down her frame before everything seemed to click into place. "You sleepwalk?"

(Y/n) hated how his expression fell and his shoulders dropped down when she nodded.

It wasn't something she openly talked about, mainly because she hadn't done this in a long time. It used to be bad when she lived back with her real mum. The doctors thought it was because of how unstable her life had been and the lack of routines she had and the combination of all that and the environment she had to live in.

Coming to live with Michelle had made (Y/n)'s life so much better in everyway. Instead of sleepwalking into the bathroom or wandering downstairs or waking up sitting in the living room, (Y/n) started to have full, proper nights sleep. She rarely sleep walked anymore and when she did it was when she was stressed. The last time was when she was stressing over her exams for school and she only walked into the living room.

She hadn't wandered out the front door in her sleep since she was thirteen. But tonight she had gone five blocks and woke up sitting at a bus stop.

A lock of shock plastered across Michael's face when (Y/n) suddenly moved. Her arms encased against his chest and her frozen cold fingers that felt like hardened clay just managed to clench around his vest. It felt like bending her fingers was going to cause them to snap off, she wasn't sure she had any blood circulation to her hands and feet anymore.

Her face burrowed into the crook of his neck and her body glued up against his front, clinging to him like he was a human radiator. She needed heat. She needed warmth and comfort and reassurance.

"I'm so cold."

Michael already knew that, he could feel how cold she was because her temperature was making him shiver and sending goosebumps prickling along his skin. She was causing the hairs on his skin to prick up in an attempt to save his own body heat.

He moved on instinct and curved his arms around her, binding one arm around her waist while the other cupped the back of her head. And before he knew what he was doing, he tilted his head down and pressed a soft, tender kiss to her temple.

The rare display of affection was shocking to (Y/n) but it was also just what she needed to stop her from bursting into fits of tears.

"Okay, okay come on." His words were hushed against her temple and his arms stayed bound around her as he slowly began to nudge (Y/n) backwards until she took the hint.

It was hard to move when her body felt like it was turning to stone but she did her best. (Y/n) tried to shuffle and it was a little easier with Michael pressed up against her, guiding her movements. He still had one hand on the back of her head and his other hand was splayed out in the centre of her back with his elbows pressing deeply into her skin.

The way his chest was moulded up against her front made (Y/n) feel like she was an ice cube that was slowly beginning to thaw and melt. The chill that had seeped into her chest was just starting to disappear as Michael's warmth surrounded every inch of her skin.

Her eyes stayed tightly closed and each cold breath she took fanned against Michael's neck where she could feel his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

He carefully weaved them both around the door frame and guided (Y/n) into the living room. The curtains were closed and the only source of light was the small orange glow from the lamp in the corner and the faint light seeping through from the hallway which disappeared when Michael nudged the door shut with the sole of his foot.

He scanned his eyes around the living room, in desperate need of something, anything, that he could use to warm (Y/n) up and stop her from catching hypothermia.

He hummed quietly when he remembered he'd tossed his jacket on the sofa when he came back.

He leaned (Y/n) forward a little so he could snatch up the worn navy blue jacket and he carefully peeled (Y/n) off his chest so he could motion to the jacket in his hands. She looked like she was in a trance, staying unusually quiet but still compliable, allowing Michael to lift her arms and slide them into the jacket which he quickly zipped up right to her chin.

She heard him murmur "That's better," into her hair before his hands were on her hips and he was slowly tugging her along with him towards the sofa.

He flopped down on the sofa with a thud and moved his arms out so he could gently pull (Y/n) down to him. Her breath caught in her lungs as Michael manoeuvred her until she was laid in between his legs with her back against his chest. He tensed his thighs to squeeze her in his embrace but after a moment or two, it was as if something dawned on him.

(Y/n) tried not to make a sound when he pressed flush against her back and hips and his arms let go of her to weave around her. She watched with narrowed eyes full of intrigue as he pulled his knees up and began removing his socks.

"What're you doing?" Her voice still held a slight edge and rattle from how cold and dry her throat felt and from the cold that had long since seeped into her chest that felt like a hollow cavity.

"What's it look like? Warming you up, or you'll get chill blains." He spoke somewhat absentmindedly as he tugged off his woollen socks and began curling one hand beneath her ankle so he could lift her leg and put the sock on her foot. They were a bit large on (Y/n) but that was a good thing.

Once both socks were pulled halfway up her calves, Michael patted her knee before he grabbed the woollen blanket from the back of the sofa which he draped around them both.

(Y/n) allowed her eyes to close while she felt him wrapping the blanket around her front, trying to encase every inch of her body up to her neck with the blanket to keep her warm. He tucked it around his own arms and under his hips so she was effectively encased in the blanket like it was a ziplock bag.

It felt soothing to let herself relax into him and become swaddled up in his embrace. And the feeling of his hands running up and down her arms to try and get some blood and warmth running back through her veins made her body turn fuzzy.

But it was the feeling of Michael's lips pressing against the top of her head and how he breathed into her hair that made (Y/n) want to melt into a puddle right there.

He didn't seem to know the effect he had on her. He didn't know how his touch made her shake for an entirely different reason. He didn't realise how every kiss he pressed against her skin made her fall for him more and more and how being so close to him made (Y/n) afraid that when he let her go, it would be the last time.

"You do this a lot?"

She almost didn't hear what he said over the sound of his heartbeat thudding away like his heart was trying to help show hers how to beat properly.

"Used to… haven't for a while." (Y/n) shrugged against him and burrowed down a little more while she bound her arms around her chest and nuzzled her nose and lips into the familiar blanket wrapped tightly around them. "Normally happens when I'm stressed." She added quietly after a minute.

She felt Michael's hands slow down their frantic rubbing up and down her arms until he switched to squeezing her arms and softly stroking the rough pads of his thumbs along her arms.

His chest was arched over her, pressing into her back while his knees began squeezing and pressing into her thighs. She could feel each breath he took while his lips stayed merged against the back of her head. He sounded like an animal. Like he was riled up, ready to lunge at the slightest sound or disruption.

"Anyone could have grabbed you, if you didn't wake up-"

Just the thought of what could have happened, what might have happened, sent Michael's head reeling and had his own body quaking with frustration and paranoia.

What would he have done if she didn't come home? He would have gone out looking for her, but he wouldn't know the first place to look.

Someone could have seen (Y/n) wandering in a trance-like state and they could have snatched her. They could have taken her, kidnapped her, hurt her. They could have done anything she chances were if she didn't wake, she wouldn't know or fight back or utter one word.

She could have walked out into traffic and got hit by a car. She could have had an accident and froze to death waiting for someone to pass by and help.

It seemed too good to be true that she actually managed to wake up when she did and found her way home before she became too sick or disorientated.

The endless list of frightening possibilities made Michael growl into her hair as he tried to rid each and every thought from his mind that was beginning to go on overload.

"I was scared, Michael."

She kept her eyes closed so she didn't have to look up and see his expression when she turned her head. Her face tucked into his neck again and she felt the sharp breath he took as her words stunned him. The feeling of his lips against her temple made (Y/n) sigh into his skin but it was the feeling of his right hand slithering out of the blanket to cup her cheek that made her freeze.

His arm pinned over her chest and his hand cupped the side of her still frozen face. The pad of his thumb traced across her cheekbone and down towards her jaw while he pressed kiss after kiss against her temple. Not realising that he had started to sway them both from side to side.

"You're home now, alright? I'll- I'll keep an eye on you." He wouldn't let her go. If she had told him sooner that she had a tendency to sleep walk, he would have been more vigil at night.

He would have made sure to listen to each sound he heard during the night, he would have been on red alert for any movements that didn't sound normal. He would have done something to make sure she was safe. Hell, Michael probably wouldn't have gone out or stayed out so late tonight if he knew (Y/n) went sleep walking from time to time.

With a deep breath, Michael shifted just a little so he could lay back against the cushion so he was laid down with (Y/n) reclined against his chest. He kept his arms bound around her and his lips stayed merged with her temple

"Get some sleep, yeah? If you wake or try and wander or some shit, I'll be here."

(Y/n) finally peeked her eyes open so she could try and glance up at him, but Michael had his eyes closed and he looked like he was already on his way to falling asleep himself.

"But… if mum sees…"

As much as (Y/n) was desperate to stay wrapped up in Michael's arms like this until the world ended, it wasn't practical. What if Michelle came downstairs early in the morning and saw them tangled up together like this? She wouldn't be happy. She might kick Michael out and (Y/n) was already panicking about the day he would eventually move out in case he wouldn't want to see her again.

But right now, Michael didn't seem to care. He wasn't letting (Y/n) wander back up to bed to be on her own, not in this state. Not after what she had just been through. She was staying here with him where she was safe and he could look after her.

"Right now, I don't give a shit. I'm not letting you out of my sight." As if to prove his point, he encased his arms tighter into her frame and hooked one leg over hers like he was a set of vines caging her in a trap.

It was comforting. It was lovely and warm and heavenly to be overwhelmed by Michael right now and have him thawing her out and telling her that he wasn't letting her go. He didn't want to be out of her sight, he wanted her right here so he knew she was warming up and safe and not about to go wandering in danger again.

With the little energy that she had left, (Y/n) wriggled onto her right side and curled her legs up towards her stomach, trying to make herself more compact in an attempt to keep warm.

A shiver rattled through her when she felt Michael's thumb glide across her cheek as he cracked one eye open and looked down at her.

She was sure he murmured "You're still cold," but she wasn't sure whether it was a statement or something which required an answer.

But she gasped when she felt Michael's arms bind tighter around her and he twisted them around in less than a second. Her arms stayed encased to her chest and she closed her eyes until Michael had her back pinned against the sofa and he was hovering on top of her instead.

His face tucked into the crook of her neck while he pulled on the blanket so it was safely encased over him and tucked around (Y/n) to keep the heat surrounding her. His lips attached to the side of her throat as he switched between kissing her skin and simply breathing against her throat to try and heat her up.

(Y/n) lifted her arms just a little so her fingers could graze along Michael's neck but she could already feel her mind beginning to settle down. Suddenly the thought of her mum walking in on them like this didn't spark adrenaline in her system anymore. Suddenly nothing else seemed to matter except how tightly Michael was holding her and how warm he was making her feel.

It felt like she was starting to sway as her mind slowly started to switch off, but she knew she heard Michael correctly when he started whispering into her skin.

"You don't know what you do to me. I've never felt like this with anyone else."

#imagine #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn #hoard #michael hoard #hoard film #joseph quinn hoard #hoard imagine #michael x reader #joseph quinn hoard imagine

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ishaslife · 2 days ago

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Love and Deepspace : Is Caleb Evil?

My brain is a mess. I just want to make it clear that everything I say here is my opinion and things I want/wish from the game along with theories and evidence based on previous knowledge of lore and personalities. I also want to add that I hope that the people reading this are going to have prior knowledge of the game, basic lore as well as what happens to caleb. So, spoilers for all of that.

This is just me barfing onto the internet because the trailer and Caleb is all I have been able to focus on for the past few days.

So, I have loved caleb ever since I played the main story nearly a year ago and I really really hoped that he would come back as a love interest and here we are! So, when we first meet Caleb, you know, he comes off as the "protective, trustworthy, older friend to lover" archetype. We have known caleb, as the MC, since we were kids. And clearly, as is in every childhood romance, I assume Caleb has always liked us. He seems very protective over us in the main story too he almost seems scared, like the way he says, "Who's going to protect you if not me?"

Caleb's trailer had me shook, and I mean that. To be quite honest, I did not like it at first. I was so overwhelmed I didn't even know how to process it. I made a whole blog post on his character trailer, please check that out to read further or later on:

Now, the second trailer, for the main story and new patch that is: has him behaving very... Yandere? Idk how to describe it. It's very strange (in a good way) but I think that's how it's meant to be, Caleb IS possessive, and I think even more so than Xavier.

But my point being: do I think Caleb will be evil? No, I don't. I don't think any of the love interests will ever be inherently evil, this is just my take of course. The devs seem to handle relationships in this game with maturity to have a love interest that's absolutely batshit crazy. No main character in this game has come across to me as black and white, they are all morally grey and that's so amazing. Also, they wouldn't introduce Caleb as the protective type to only make him something entirely different.

I think like all the other LIs, Caleb will have his own fatal flaw.

He was a sweet boy, the boy we grew up with and he had dreams of being a pilot and that was a dream he fulfilled but... I'm sure that when Ever found out that this is the path he has chosen in life, he was recruited into the Farspace Fleet to spy on the MC. And that is the moral conundrum here, he is stuck between having to choose. Of course, he wants the MC, he always has but he likely knows the dangers of being basically forced to work for Ever and what will happen if he chooses to quit, not only to himself but also to the MC, a risk that he doesn't wish to take. Ever is is really fucking powerful after all, they could kill him if he isn't useful enough. He's stuck here now, it's like how idealism shatters when you realise how corrupt the system really is.

He's extremely soft in the trailer too and my heart goes out to him really, he seems like he's always suffering or in pain, it's like he's reaching for the MC but he never can because of what he needs to do for Ever.

This isn't here for any reason in particular apart from how fucking soft he looks? His eyes... Omg, just look at how he yearns for her. Also, he seems to have thing for holding her wrist?

Caleb seems like he doesn't want to do this, he says in the trailer, "this nightmare will be over soon," and "I'll make things right" so it's cleary something that takes an emotional toll on him.

Now, I don't think if he will be evil but I certainly think that he's been portrayed as that because he's quite literally working for this world's umbrella corporation and I believe, his whole mean demeanour is a farce, because, well double agent and also the mind control theory I presented earlier. If Caleb is a villain in the Astarion sense, nature vs. nurture. Like how, astarion isn't really a villain, he can be MADE a villain like every other person because of things they have been through, I think Caleb has had to grow some thick skin to deal with shit he's been put through and that makes him come off as mean especially since his conundrum seems to be knowing that he can destroy MC and yet he still wants her, because he loves her. Ugh, my brain is spiraling.

I don't think it'll be a toxic in the slightest. I think yes, he is gonna be very possessive but not so much so that he conflicts MC's personality and nature, also the nature of the game itself. With a game like this, it's difficult to have a LI that's completely evil and black and white because, all their characters are very fleshed out and I don't know why they wouldn't make Caleb so. Caleb's battle also seems to be that he thinks he's decieving MC, that he isn't who she thinks he is and that difficult for him to cope with, like he's been lying to her all their lives and that hurts. He almost sounds angry at the MC in the trailer.

He seems as though he's trying to de-establish (idk if that's a word) the relationship he had with the MC in the past as a brotherly figure and instead establish one where she sees him romantically. Or, he's mad at himself but that is rubbing onto the MC for thinking he's a nice guy, reliable and always expecting him to be the best when he isn't. It's almost as if he's crumbling under the pressure of having to be the best for HER and for her seeing the best in him. I see a guy with deeply ingrained psychological issues, he seems to have a very low opinion of himself and thinks that MC's perception of him is based on a lie.

Not to mention that their reunion is gonna be extremely emotional and likely even explosive on the MC's part because, what the fuck? He just up and left, made us think we're dead and now he's... Well... Just different. There's the whole bite mark on his hand too so I assume the MC got into a huge cat fight with him but he calmed her down?

Either way, no matter what happens; I hope that they'll do his character justice and not ruin him, even if he is made a villain. I have trust enough in the devs to handle their characters with maturity and I can only hope the same with Caleb.

#caleb l&ds #caleb #caleb love and deepspace #caleb lads #caleb lnds #love and deepspace #lnds #l&ds #lads #love and deepspace theory #caleb theory love and deepspace #caleb theory #character predictions #love and deepspace lore #lads caleb #lnds caleb #l&ds caleb #love and deepspace caleb

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selenechime · 3 days ago

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hey ! this is me throwing out a plotting call for those who might be on the search for a new writing bestie ♡ if you want to do threads with someone who will literally scream about our characters and constantly send you things that related to them then i'm your person ! i do have any triggers, open to multiple types of plots/verses, always willing to have multiple characters with the same person and prefer to write over discord. however, if you only play white fcs or only write female muses, we won't be compatible ! down below are some plots i'd love to write, so if you're interested give this a like and i will come running to your messages .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒

hunger games . my thought is like ... we can probably do quarter quell or victors or something. thg has just always been one of my fave concepts to explore. i'd love it if, in the event the characters got to the game, they could also like ... escape. rebellion arc. give me the interviews, training sessions, sponors, etc.

percy jackson . a group of 20-somethings who all have a parent who is a greek olympian. they live together on an island town that runs like a summer camp , training them to be heroic demi gods worthy of their divine parent's time ! or maybe a university with demigods ??

fantasy / historical . someone give me a plot based off multiple book series ( grishaverse, acotar, cruel prince, etc ) dying for high/dark fantasy and court vibes. the primary focus here would be on humans and fae, and obviously some delicious tension !!

twilight esque . charming little town where nothing stays hidden for long. strange creatures blend in with the locals, and mysteries lurk in every corner. tangled relationships, from first crushes to complicated love triangles, keep things messy and intriguing. dying for some vampires !!

assassins / spies / criminals . people stuck together because of their job but then becoming a found family. please, something based off marvel would be so awesome since my marvel hyperfixation has been through the roof for these past couple of months. bonus if i can play against this face. (𝐱) (𝐱)

this. this. & this.

#1x1 discord #1x1 roleplay #smut 1x1 #indie 1x1 #discord 1x1 #1x1 rp search #1x1 rp #indie rp #discord mumu

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women-in-ssports · 13 hours ago

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FOREVER AND A DAY

Chapter 5 THIRD Wheel

PAIGE

Joseph sat across from Paige, his brow furrowed, the frustration clearly written on his face. He had been thinking about this for days, and now, with everything hanging between them, he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I just don’t understand why we can’t go on dates, just the two of us,” he said, his voice tinged with a mixture of confusion and hurt. He looked at Paige, waiting for her to meet his gaze, hoping for some sort of explanation that would make sense to him.

At first, Paige had said it was because he hadn’t met her parents. He had done that, and yet, it didn’t seem to change anything. Then she had told him there was something else, but she hadn’t clarified. He didn’t understand why they were always surrounded by friends, whether it was after games, practices, or random hangouts. Joseph was fine with being around their friends, but it wasn’t the same as having time alone with Paige—time to really get to know each other, outside of the chaos and expectations of everyone else.

“I do not mind her coming with us all the time if it means I get to be with you,” Joseph continued, his voice softer now, trying to be patient. “But I’d really like to have just one-on-one time with you. Outside of school, outside of games… without everyone else around.”

His heart pounded in his chest as he spoke, desperately wanting Paige to understand how important this was to him. The idea of just the two of them, enjoying each other's company, felt like a simple but crucial thing he was missing. He wasn’t asking for much—just a few hours, a quiet evening together, where they could laugh and talk, and experience things on their own, like any other couple.

He leaned forward slightly, his eyes searching hers. “I just don’t get it. Why is that so hard? We barely get any time to ourselves, and I feel like we’re always... waiting for the right moment, but it never comes. I just want to be with you, Paige. Just us.”

Paige reached out to grab Joseph's hand, her fingers brushing against his with the same tenderness that had come naturally over the past few weeks. She cared about him, really, she did. He was kind, supportive, and they shared so many of the same interests. They enjoyed the same music, the same movies, even the same silly inside jokes that made their group of friends laugh.

But as her hand settled into his, something in her chest tightened, a familiar ache that she couldn’t quite explain. The feelings weren’t there. Not in the way she had expected. She liked Joseph—he was sweet and he made her laugh, and she was comfortable with him—but she never felt the spark she thought she’d have by now. The kind of spark that you see in movies, the one where the world seems to fade out when you're with someone, and everything just... makes sense.

Instead, she felt a strange emptiness, a nagging feeling that no matter how many good moments they had, something important was missing. She couldn’t help but compare what she had with Joseph to the relationships she’d read about or seen on screen. It wasn’t the passionate, thrilling kind of connection she’d imagined for herself.

And that realization made her feel guilty.

Her mind drifted back to the reason she’d been keeping her distance. It wasn’t because she didn’t like him—she did he just wasn’t her. But there was something inside her that couldn’t help but pull away when it was just the two of them.

She didn’t have the words to tell him that. Not yet.

Instead, she squeezed his hand, offering a small, apologetic smile, hoping he wouldn’t see the doubt that lingered just beneath the surface.

Joseph smiled slightly and leaned in, placing a soft, gentle peck on Paige's lips.

AZZI

Azzi had woken up hours earlier than necessary that morning. It had been a few weeks since the talk with Coach about Paige and her joining the varsity scrimmages and tournaments at the start of the season. And tonight was the night. To save time, she’d had her mom braid her hair the night before so she wouldn’t have to deal with it today. She’d also managed to fit in a good stretch during her FaceTime with a groggy Paige this morning, who could barely mumble a coherent word. Now, Azzi was walking into the cafeteria, carrying surprise breakfast smoothies for all her friends—though the one she had for Paige, the picky blonde who’d skipped breakfast, was the main reason she’d gone out of her way.

As she entered, she spotted her friends at their usual table and set the smoothies down. “Where’s the blonde?” she asked. Nike rolled her eyes and pointed to the back corner. Azzi followed her gaze and saw Paige talking with her boyfriend. He looked upset about something, and Paige was doing her best to comfort him. Azzi still needed to head to math class to ask a few homework questions before the bell rang, but she figured she’d give Paige the smoothie before she left.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Aubrey warned her quietly. Azzi shot her a confused look but shrugged it off, making her way toward Paige. Just as Azzi was about to approach, Joseph leaned in to kiss her Paige.

Azzi cleared her throat softly to grab their attention. “Morning guys,” she said, flashing a dimply smile as she held out the smoothie to Paige.

“Good morning, Azzi!” Joseph replied, looking up with a smile of his own.

It took a moment for Paige to notice the smoothie, but when she did, she reached out to grab it. “Thanks, Azzi.” her voice laced with surprise and something else—a soft, unspoken warmth. She couldn’t help but wonder, not for the first time, how this girl seemed to know exactly what she needed. Waking up at the crack of dawn to a FaceTime making Paige stretch, and then showing up with a smoothie because she knew Paige would skip breakfast? It was oddly sweet, and maybe a little… endearing. Paige couldn’t help but feel a quiet tug at her chest. There was something about Azzi’s thoughtfulness that made her feel seen in a way she wasn’t used to.

“No problem,” Azzi said with a shrug, taking a step back to head to math.

Before she could turn away, Paige called out, “You’re headed to math, right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Great, I need to go too. I have some questions I got stuck on last night.” Paige stood up, and Azzi blinked, realizing Paige wasn’t even in the same math class. But she played along.

Paige gave Joseph a quick wave. “Okay, see you later.”

Joseph’s voice was quiet as he responded, “Yeah, see you later.”

PAIGE

As Paige and Azzi walked toward Azzi’s math class, Azzi couldn’t help but let out a small snort.

“Oh, shut it,” Paige said, playfully shoving the smaller girl in the shoulder.

“I just didn’t know we were in the same math class,” Azzi replied with a grin. “You must sit in the back or something.”

Paige rolled her eyes, her mind drifting to her conversation with Joseph that morning. She debated whether or not to tell Azzi about it. If she did, she’d have to admit to lying to both Azzi and Joseph about not being able to go on dates. It had been true at first—mainly because Joseph hadn’t met her parents yet—but not anymore. The real reason, though, was something Paige couldn’t quite put into words. She just felt more at ease when Azzi was around. Her presence made everything feel more relaxed, like the whole world wasn’t on her shoulders. And, for reasons Paige didn’t entirely understand, the dates always felt better when Azzi was there.

JOSPEH

Little did Paige know, the boys' away scrimmage that day had been switched with the boys' JV time, meaning Joseph would be back at school just in time to watch Paige’s first game. As the girls gathered on the gym floor for warmups, Joseph slipped quietly in, still in his own warmups, not having had a chance to change. His presence was immediately noticeable to Paige’s little brother, Drew, who had an eagle eye for familiar faces in the crowd.

"Joseph!!!" Drew yelled, his voice cutting through the buzz of the gym as he sprinted along the bleachers, launching himself into Joseph's arms.

"Hey, little bud," Joseph said with a grin, catching him effortlessly.

"Come sit with us! Please, please! My dad’s over there," Drew begged, his eyes wide and hopeful.

Joseph hesitated for a second. The hesitation surprised him, but he found himself nodding and following Drew through the bleachers to where Paige’s dad sat a few rows up.

The conversation with Paige this morning replayed in Joseph’s mind. Should he ask Paige’s dad about the Winter Dance? Maybe he could convince him to let them go out to dinner, just the two of them, before. He knew Paige wasn’t allowed to go out alone with him, but maybe this one time would be different. They’d be with the group for the rest of the night, after all.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Joseph turned to Paige’s dad. “Sir, I want to ask Paige to the Winter Dance, and I’d like to take her to dinner before—just the two of us.”

He hesitated, preparing for the explanation he knew he’d have to give. But to his surprise, Paige’s dad just nodded and said, “Of course, Joseph. I think Paige would love that!”

Joseph blinked, stunned. “Thank you, sir,” he said quietly, then turned back to the court.

He couldn��t help but wonder if he was a better negotiator than he thought—or if Paige had lied…

THE GAME

The game ended with a 68 - 45 win for Hopkins. Azzi had been on fire, sinking three 3-pointers, while Paige contributed with a few well-timed layups and nailed her free throws, finishing with 6 points. Considering both girls had played less than 15 minutes each, they were buzzing with energy after the win.

Azzi’s family was the first to reach the girls, gushing over them with big smiles. “You two did amazing!” they said, showering both girls with praise. It wasn’t long before Drew made his way over, bypassing her dad to find Azzi. He moved toward her, arms lifted, ready for her to scoop him up.

“Hey, boo,” Azzi grinned, lifting him effortlessly. “You better score more than us at your game tomorrow.”

“I’ll try,” Drew smiled up at her.

Meanwhile, Paige stood back, watching the scene unfold. She couldn’t help but notice the way Azzi and Drew interacted—so easy, so natural. The playful way Azzi called him “boo” had a different vibe to it, one that Paige realized she wasn’t used to seeing between Drew and anyone but her. She glanced at Drew, then back at Azzi, her mind working through an unfamiliar feeling. It wasn’t a look she’d reserve for a best friend... more like something you'd give your girlfriend.

Paige’s thoughts were interrupted when an arm suddenly slung around her shoulder. She turned, expecting to see her dad, but was surprised to find Joseph standing there instead. He gave both her and Azzi quick hugs before stepping back with a grin.

“Why are you here?” Paige asked, her voice coming out a little sharper than she meant. She immediately regretted it, realizing how it sounded. She was genuinely curious, though—he should be at his own game.

Joseph just shrugged, his grin still in place. “Had a little free time. Figured I’d watch your game. Besides, I wanted to see how you did,” he said, his voice carrying a subtle edge.

Paige blinked, a little thrown off. She was used to Joseph’s laid-back attitude, but something in his tone felt... different. Like there was more behind his words than he was letting on.

But Joseph recovered quickly, his grin widening. “No, our game got switched with the JV’s, so I got back in time to watch you two ball out,” he explained, as casual as ever.

Paige felt a flicker of relief, but that moment of tension still lingered in the back of her mind. Was it just her, or had there been something more in his tone?

Everyone around them seemed oblivious to the small shift in the mood, but Azzi noticed. She could feel the quiet tension between Paige and Joseph, something unspoken hanging in the air. Without skipping a beat, she placed her hand on Paige’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Ready to go celebrate, Paige?" Azzi asked, her voice light but carrying an edge of understanding. She glanced at Joseph for a second before adding, “You too, Joseph. A few of the other boys are joining us.”

The moment felt like it snapped back into place, but something in Paige’s chest tightened at Azzi’s touch. She smiled, trying to shake it off. “Yeah, let’s go,” she said, her voice a little quieter than usual.

Joseph nodded, already drifting toward the other players, but Paige couldn’t help but catch Azzi’s eye. There was something unspoken between them, a feeling that lingered just under the surface. Paige couldn’t put her finger on it, but it was enough to make her heart beat a little faster.

LET’S CELEBRATE

Despite both Paige and Joseph making it to the basketball party at Dorka’s house after the game with the rest of the group, they didn’t seem to stick around Azzi and Paige’s usual circle of friends. Instead, they shifted toward the seniors, the ones Joseph was more familiar with, blending into their group as if the two girls didn’t exist in the same space anymore.

Azzi noticed it first, her eyes following Joseph and Paige as they blended into the senior group. Paige, trying to focus on the party, felt a pang in her chest as she watched Azzi, Aubrey, Nika, Ice, and Caroline laughing and playing beer pong, not seeming to care she wasn’t with them.

The feeling hit her harder than she expected—like she was being left behind. Azzi glanced over, meeting her eye for a brief moment, but Paige just forced a smile and tried to shake it off. The knot in her chest didn’t loosen.

TIME JUMP - FEBRUARY - AZZI

Azzi sat on the bleachers before practice, bouncing a basketball between her legs, lost in thought. She glanced up just in time to see Paige slip into the gym on the far side, but she didn’t smile, didn’t say anything. She just kept dribbling, her focus sharp, though her mind felt scattered.

The air between them had shifted, but neither of them seemed to acknowledge it—or admit it. The change was small, subtle, but anyone who knew them could feel it. After the dance, Paige had pulled away more and more. Azzi had to see the pictures of Paige getting ready on Instagram the next day, wondering why she hadn’t been the one helping her pick out the dress or curling her hair. It wasn’t like they were mad at each other—there was no fight, no argument. They still hung out outside of basketball, still texted. But it was different. There was a quiet wall between them now, one neither was brave enough to address.

Azzi didn’t understand why. She just knew something had changed.

But every time Paige glanced over at her—her eyes lingering for just a second too long—Azzi couldn’t help but feel the weight of something she didn’t know how to name.

#azzi and paige #pazzi

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corzydoie · 1 day ago

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Plain Sight: Pt. 2 - Cracking Silence

Author's Note: I said I was going to publish this in the same week as part one but a bunch of huge plans started coming at me at once. BUT HERE IT FINALLY IS! You can probably tell that I am a former K-Pop stan by the way I write the media and fans in this story.

Summary: Amid growing scrutiny from the public, Fernando and Y/n navigate the challenges of being apart and maintaining a deeply private relationship while under the curious eyes of an ever looming public presence.

Word Count: 2k

Content Warning(s): A Few of the Drivers Are (Jokingly) Rude, Mentions of Stalking, Overbearing Journalists, Kinda Shit but Hopefully Still Enjoyable!

Don't Forget to Interact and Follow! Hope You Enjoy!

The next evening, the drivers gathered around the private dining area of a local restaurant. The atmosphere was casual, a little less formal than usual, as they all relaxed after a busy weekend. The clink of silverware and laughter mixed with the soft hum of conversation, but something felt different.

Carlos, ever the chatterbox, leaned back in his chair, poking fun at Lando for yet another lost bet during a game they’d played earlier and slightly tipsy from the wine he’d been nursing. “You know, it’s funny,” he began, a sly grin on his face, “Fernando is even more secretive now. I saw his partner last night, at the sustainability event. Can’t say I saw that coming.”

The words slipped out before he could stop them, and the table fell into a stunned silence. They all turned their attention to the eldest driver as he slowly lifted his gaze from his phone–a faint smile dropping from his features.

Lando, who was still nursing his drink, nearly spat it out. “What do you mean, his partner? You’re saying he’s got someone on the side?” he asked, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets.

Carlos froze, realizing what he’d just done. He shot a panicked glance at Fernando, whose eyes were narrowed as he carefully pocketed his phone.

“No, no,” Carlos quickly corrected, “I didn’t mean it like that. He–he’s been seeing someone, for a while now. Didn’t want to say anything, but I saw her last night at the event. She was there.” Despite Carlos’ attempt at a cover, Fernando still seemed annoyed at the information he let slip past his lips.

Max, leaning forward, raised an eyebrow. “Someone? Seriously? That’s news.” He looked at Fernando, whose face had gone completely neutral. “Guess that explains a lot. I have noticed your recent attachment to your phone,” Max added, more to himself than anyone else.

“And how he seems to be sneaking back into his driver room,” Lance finally spoke. “Or out of the paddock like he’s in a rush to go home,” Ocon built off, allowing everyone else to overlap their observations of Fernando’s strange behavior.

“Is she nice?” Lewis intervened, the question coming out more genuine than prying. “I haven’t heard you mention anyone, mate.”

Fernando let out a small sigh, trying to manage the tension in the air. He wasn’t expecting the conversation to veer into this territory so quickly. “It’s complicated,” he muttered, looking down at his plate. “We’re still figuring things out.”

The table fell quiet, and the younger drivers began to whisper among themselves in their corner, with Lando and Yuki exchanging looks.

“No way,” Lando said, half-laughing. “Fernando Alonso has a girlfriend? That’s rich. How old is she though? Like, a lot younger, I’m guessing?”

Fernando glanced up, locking eyes with Lando. His tone became more serious, though it held no real anger. “It’s not like that, Lando. But I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourselves. It’s private.”

Liam, a bit used to getting on Fernando’s nerves, smirked. “She’s young, huh? I bet she’s younger than all of us if he’s trying to keep it a secret. You old man,” he teased, nudging Lando.

Lando snorted. “She probably doesn’t even know who he is outside the car.”

At that, the table erupted into laughter, but Fernando remained stoic. He wasn’t in the mood for jokes, not about this, not about her. But there was little he could do to stop it now.

Max, sensing the tension, tried to redirect the conversation. “You know, if this is all that’s going on, you’ve got to tell us, mate. We’re your friends. But I get it. You’re keeping it lowkey.”

George nodded in agreement. “And who knows, maybe she’s just someone you met recently. There’s no harm in keeping things private. But if she’s with Fernando, it’s probably ‘cause she wants to be. I’d say he’s just lucky” he directed toward the rowdy youngsters.

The rest of the evening went on in a blur, with Fernando answering more questions about his change in behavior than he would’ve liked. He wasn’t lying when he said things were complicated. Y/n wasn’t just someone he met last week or a fleeting romance–it was deeper than that. But for now, it had to stay between the drivers.

The next few days were a whirlwind of media attention. Fernando had noticed the shift–how the journalists seemed more interested in his personal life than usual. Questions he could dodge easily were now piercing through, like arrows aimed straight at him. It started with casual mentions, but the reporters quickly latched onto the idea of something changing, something new, and they were persistent.

“Fernando, you’ve been spotted at a cafe recently, looking quite cozy with a woman,” one reporter asked him during a press conference. “Who is she? Is there a special someone in your life?”

He deflected the question with practiced ease. “There’s nothing to say about my personal life,” he replied, though it sounded rehearsed. “I’m here to talk about racing, not who I spend my time with.”

Another journalist, sensing his discomfort, pressed further. “We’ve seen a shift in your behavior lately. Any chance you’re keeping something from the public?”

Fernando clenched his jaw but held his ground. “I’m here for F1. Let’s talk about the race, alright?”

But the damage was done. The rumors were already spreading like wildfire. Fans, always quick to dissect every detail, caught onto the subtle shifts in Fernando’s behavior. They noticed the way he would look at his phone more frequently, and the small smile he had when his mind wandered. It wasn’t long before a popular F1 fan account posted photos of Fernando and Y/n from the cafe date.

Luckily, the photos were taken just after she turned to face her boyfriend, her face just out of sight. Unluckily, each photo contained a hand hold, arm rub, or loving look from Fernando–a relationship beyond professional clearly evident.

The pictures spread and were quickly shared among fan pages and forums, where speculations ran wild. A few hours later, gossip about the mysterious woman who’d stolen Fernando Alonso’s heart was everywhere.

Yet, neither Fernando nor Y/n said a word. They’d agreed–no official statements, not yet. Y/n was busy working, and Fernando was away at another race, just trying to keep his mind focused. They needed time to process the growing attention and decide how they wanted to navigate it.

But silence only made the media more desperate. Almost every question from the public was about the rumors, each more insistent than the last. They asked about the woman in the photos, about their relationship, about everything Fernando wanted to keep hidden.

At the next race, Y/n and Fernando were apart, working in different corners of the world. But Fernando’s mood was different. There was a constant edge to his focus, the kind he hadn’t felt before. He was aware. Now more than ever, of the eyes on him. He couldn’t get lost in the rhythm of the race as easily. There was a new weight on his shoulders.

Meanwhile, the fan page continued to track every moment. From cafe dates to casual outings, old or new, they posted pictures and shared clips–anything that seemed like a hint. Fernando could tell things were starting to escalate, and not in the way he wanted.

Y/n, seeing the constant updates, felt the pressure too. It wasn’t just the media anymore–she began to notice subtle things: a car parked outside her apartment one day, a flash of someone’s camera catching them in the distance when they were out. Her discomfort grew.

“What are we going to do?” she asked Fernando during one of their late-night calls.

“We’re going to stay quiet. For now, that’s the best we can do,” Fernando said, though his voice was tight with frustration. “We’ll address it when we’re ready.”

But the longer they stayed silent, the more the rumors thrived. The fans were relentless. The journalists were relentless, and Fernando could feel himself slowly unraveling under the pressure.

As the weeks dragged on, Fernando found himself getting more withdrawn and more cautious. He became hyper-aware of every glance, every whispered conversation. It wasn’t just the media now–it was the feeling of being watched that made him uneasy. He had to keep up the facade and pretend he was fine, but it was getting harder.

Then, one day, Y/n called.

The sun dipped low over the city skyline, casting long shadows along the pavement as Y/n pulled her scarf tighter around her head. Her sunglasses hid her eyes, the most distinct feature on her face. She had grown used to this routine–blending into the crowd as she slipped out for groceries or a walk along the quieter parts of town, always careful, always watching.

It started subtly. A flicker of movement in the corner of her vision, a familiar silhouette that didn’t seem to fade. She chalked it up to paranoia at first, unable to see why someone would want to spend their time following her. But as the weeks stretched and Fernando remained tied up in back-to-back races, the unease settled in her bones.

Her social media presence remained carefully curated, a private Instagram and a TikTok containing little to no identifying info. Environmental campaigns, soft glimpses of her life–nothing too personal. Never anything that revealed too much. But tonight, as she sat curled on the couch scrolling absentmindedly, her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest.

There it was. A post of her face.

It wasn’t from a major outlet, nor a tabloid. It came from the fan account, one that had gained traction in recent weeks for “spotting” Fernando’s whereabouts. A photo of her, crossing the street. Her face turned just enough that the angle caught her profile. Her eyes, unmistakably hers, stared back at her from the screen.

Y/n felt her stomach tighten, her breathing shallow. She swore she had been careful. But the photographer caught her in a vulnerable state without her sunglasses–having removed them for a wipe down.

She steered clear of the comments as they rolled in quickly, speculating, dissecting, demanding answers.

By the final weekend of the triple-header, Y/n’s nerves were frayed. She recognized the figure now–the faded blue jackets, always just a few paces behind whenever she left the apartment. They weren’t aggressive, never approached, but their presence loomed.

As the day stretched into evening, she locked the front door twice before pacing the length of the living room. The hum of the television played in the background, but her mind raced elsewhere.

Her fingers hovered over her phone for a long moment before she pressed the call button. It rang twice before Fernando’s tired but familiar voice filled the line.

“Amor?” His voice softened immediately, the static of the paddock faint behind him. “Everything okay?”

Y/n hesitated, swallowing the knot in her throat. “I think someone’s been following me.”

There was a beat of silence, followed by the soft sound of his footsteps. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“No, no, I’m fine. It’s just…there was a post of me online. Someone’s been taking photos.”

Fernando’s tone darkened instantly. “I’ll handle it. Don’t open the door for anyone. I’ll book a flight back after the race.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she whispered, though a part of her longed for him to.

“I’m not letting you deal with this alone. I’ll call someone to watch your place tonight. Just…stay inside, okay?”

Y/n nodded, even though he couldn’t see. “I will. I just needed to hear your voice.”

Fernando exhaled, softer this time. “I’m with you, even if I’m not there right now. We’ll figure this out. Together.”

As the call ended, Y/n pulled the blanket tighter around her. The presence outside lingered, but for the first time all day, she felt a little less alone.

But on the other side of the world, Fernando’s heart sank. He knew this moment was coming. They couldn’t stay hidden forever, and his own doubts were creeping in.

Written By: CorzyDoie <3

Don't Forget to Interact and Follow! Hope You Enjoyed!

#formula 1 #f1 fanfic #fernando alonso #lando norris #formula one fancfiction #yuki tsunoda #carlos sainz #f1 x reader #fernando alonso fanfic #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #liam lawson #george russell

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4only1 · 2 days ago

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You could do James Lee x female reader, with the reader being Gun's twin sister and coming to Korea with him and falling in love with James, if you can do it from the past to the present moment

Identity

James Lee/Dg x Reader Word Count: 1464 Note: I'm alive (also feels weird to just type James so he is always just James Lee) Masterlist ------------------------

You had come to Korea with your brother, escaping the harsh climate of the Yamazaki clan. Now, after being here for a while, you found yourself outside a prison, waiting on your twin's release.

Gun Park, the man who shared your exact DNA had planned something while inside the detention centre. As he exited the facility, he was glad to be greeted by you, although he didn't show it.

As you babbled away about everything he missed, catching him up on your life, another man appeared, interrupting the conversation.

Charles Choi, the man your brother had now dedicated his life to, stood in front of you two, talking to Gun about the plan. You barely managed to follow along before finding yourself chasing after Gun, demanding an explanation.

Gun had not only changed physically in the prison but mentally as well.

That is what led you to the current predicament. Having followed Gun’s lead (which was following Charles Choi’s lead), you found yourself staring at a strange sight. Your brother is fighting a man named Goo Kim. There were two things strange about this fight.

Your brother was losing

He was also getting excited at the fighting

You turned away once his shirt came off, but turned back around at the sound of a voice. Your eyes locked with his confident ones. The smirk on his face was highlighted with the lollipop on his mouth. This was the first time you met James Lee, and your breath was taken away.

…

You found yourself in a small shack. It was actually barely a shack with how the boards were falling off the exterior, but it wasn't your place so not your problem.

It was in this eroded shack that you discovered more of Charles Choi's plan, and how that exactly included the people around you. Your brother, the blonde he fought, yourself and James Lee. You couldn't stop staring at James Lee, he was the most interesting of the bunch.

From then on, you found yourself going on ‘missions’ with him. You were separated from your brother again, although this time, you didn't mind as much. James Lee was an interesting individual. You wanted to study him, observe the man, and become aware of the whys of his habits.

It wasn’t that difficult to study James Lee. He was a very…expressive man. Not in the sense that he displayed a wide range of emotions, but more in the sense that he wasn’t afraid to express what he was thinking.

On one of your first tasks together, you had become the victim of a minor injury after a desperate man threw a glass bottle at James. Of course, it missed and landed near you, cutting your ankle a bit. After dealing with the man, James Lee kneeled down to inspect the wound.

“This is why I should go on these alone.” His tone was serious. “It might scar.”

“I guess I’ll have a battle wound to match my brother. Although it won't be as bad as his.” You say half joking. You didn’t particularly care about being scared, after all, it was on your ankle, and nobody would know it was there. "Nobody will know."

“I’ll know” You didn’t understand why James Lee cared so much.

…

The relationship between the two of you deepened after that. Despite his persistent complaining about you tagging along, it was noted that he seemed more efficient when you were present. Showing off perhaps? No, that’s not possible.

You sat on the floor, examining the so-called ‘game plan’ Eugene had made up. As the door opened, James Lee strutted in before laying down close to you.

“Want one?” He asks, hand extending a lollipop towards you.

You muttered a small thank you, barely taking your eyes off the paper, as you took the lollipop from his hand. Or, well, tried too. He moved his hand back just before you made contact with the lollipop.

Finally looking up, you noted the playful smirk on his face. Ah, so he was planning on teasing you today, two can play at that game.

“Come on, take it” He waved the lollipop around, pulling it back every time you got close to snatching it away.

Puffing out your cheeks, you decided it was time to mess with James Lee. Lunging forward, you grabbed onto the lollipop, a victorious smile crossing your face. Unfortunately, this lunge caused you to lose balance, leading to you crashing into James Lee’s chest.

His arms moved, one falling back to catch himself, and the other wrapping around your waist pulling you into his body. You stared up at him, mischief in your eyes as you waved the lollipop around.

“What’s the problem? Didn’t expect that, did you?”

You swore you saw his cheeks turn pink before he regained his overconfident demeanour.

“Well maybe I did”

You stared at each other, taking in the other. Both of you noted characteristics you never knew before, maybe even moving a bit closer to each other. Your lips moved, hovering over his, waiting for a sign to tell you that you were misunderstanding his words.

His lips moved to touch yours, a gentle action in stark contrast to his usual demenour. It lasts for a few seconds, but once you pulled away, you were certain that both his and your cheeks were pink.

But the moment had to come to an end as the door swung open, and in walked Goo and Gun, with your brother having a displeased look on his face at the scene in front of him.

It wasn’t until a few months later, when James Lee came back from a solo mission, that a moment like the one before was recreated.

...

Cheonliang changed something between you two. Although you never went, you could tell something was different. You were changing, but this time, he was as well.

“Woah, that guy sounded like a real piece of work. Lucky you. You managed to disassemble the kings, now what’s gonna happen?” You ask, curiosity tainting your words. You were lying on your side on the couch, facing James Lee, who sat on a chair across from you, feet propped up and signature lollipop between his lips.

Even though you normally kept up to date on the people close to you, Charles Choi made that difficult when it came to James Lee.

“I’m changing my identity. I’m becoming an idol.” He spoke like it was the most obvious thing ever.

You stared at him for a moment before laughter crept up on you.

“Hahaha, when have you ever been this funny? Seriously what’s gonna happen now.” You spoke between bouts of giggles, wiping a tear away.

“I am being serious, I’m changing my identity and becoming an idol. Charles Choi’s idea.” You knew he was serious this time, but you couldn’t help but poke more fun at him.

“Ah seriously, that is hilarious. I can just picture you going on a variety show and doing aegyo. Ah, really, I can’t wait.” Now you had a smile on your face, clearly taking joy from his predicament.

“Hey stop laughing! I have to get rid of everything, past and all. We have to act like we don’t know each other, understand?”

“Ah, really? What a relief. I can finally relax after all these stressful missions with you.” You move exaggeratedly, sitting up and stretching your arms out before placing them behind your head. You fall back onto the couch, bouncing against the cushions.

“Stop joking. Even if I have to get rid of my past, I don’t wanna get rid of what I feel for you.”

That made you pause for a moment. You couldn’t deny how close you were to the redhead. A closeness that others had pointed out. Mainly Goo, but he teased you about everything so does that really count?

The once playful conversation had now turned serious.

“It’s not like either of us are leaving. You can probably keep some of the old you.”

“Still, to rewrite myself I gotta change things. What if you don’t like the new me?”

“I guess we will have to find that out. Although I doubt you can truly get rid of your old self. Either way, I’ll still like you the same. Maybe I'll like you even more than I already do.” You said with a closed-eyed smile.

“Well then today I start as a new man, an idol.”

“Well then…Oh my god! Are you an idol? I recognize you! I’m (y/n), I’m a fan.” A big smile was on your face. He looked at you, a smile also crossed his normally serious face. Not a sarcastic or cocky one, but one of joy.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m DG"

------------------------

First of all, sorry for the time it took to write this, I’ve been busy the past couple of weeks. To make up for it I wrote quite a bit more than I usually would.

Secondly, I know it requested up until the present but that’s a lot of material to cover so I just wrote it up to the point he changed identities.

My third point is that I will be going on hiatus until further notice for a multitude of reasons. This was the last of my requests to finish and it took me a while to complete it. I’ve had some ideas for fanfics to write and I want to put aside as much time as I need to write those ideas down.

Forgive any grammar and spelling mistakes. Till the next fic.

#lookism #lookism x reader #lookism manhwa #james lee #james lee x reader #dg lookism #dg x reader

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leifyposting · 2 days ago

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*appears as if summoned* did someone say fic recs?

first off, op: really really great points on diluc and the diluc&kaeya relationship. i'll do some rambling about diluc characterization in the tags but for now, here are four fics i think might fit what you're looking for!

this work, from @chidorinnnnn, is THE diluc&kaeya fic in my mind. like, no fic has ever topped this one as a study of their dynamic (and probably no fic ever will). the strange muted understanding. carefully finding your footing. the way things could have been and maybe should have been but aren't, and maybe that's okay too. bonus points for the parallel between their fathers, which you mentioned too

moving on to a more diluc-centric piece, from @dandelion-wings. it is so so hard to find good diluc fic because he is such a strange and contradictory character, but this diluc makes the most sense in my head. featuring genuinely gut-wrenching interactions between the boys (one line in particular tears me up every time) and a build-up to tragedy that rivals macbeth

bit of a different piece here: a modern au in which diluc and kaeya reconcile at the end of the world (tw major character death). i cry every time i read this one. their dynamic in this fic is similar to the first one but more messy - you know, finding your footing with the person who used to be your everything now that you are different people than you used to be, and also the world is ending

i read this more than a year ago and have not stopped thinking about it since. it's a longer read but so worth it. the worldbuilding is so intricate and every character and relationship in here is so beautifully fleshed out - not just diluc and kaeya but also the people of mondstadt and how they relate to one another. this author also has an amazing (and shorter) crepus&kaeya fic that i think you might enjoy

anyway! hope that was helpful. these are my four favourite diluc&kaeya fics ever so i hope you enjoy them! thank you for sharing your thoughts with us as well!

The Genshin Impact fandom is fascinating to me when it comes to fanfics, because I feel like I struggle to find any fics that really *get* the characterization of certain characters and I'm loathed to write my own because dammit I just want to read the specific itch I crave without resorting to creating it. Give me three more months and I'll cave in.

For example, Diluc is one of my favorites and I find his backstory fascinating in terms of his father Crepus possibly being more morally ambiguous than most fans are willing to admit and how little we know of Diluc's murder spree in Snezhnaya.

For example which Harbinger(s) did he have a run-in with? Will we find out more about the secret intelligence network that took him in, that he apparently had a high position in? Did he ever find the answers he was searching for? The list goes on.

It's hard for me to find the specific characterization of him I crave for in fics because I think his platonic relationship with Kaeya is incredibly nuanced and complex but I feel like his character often gets assassinated for Kaeya angst but like, the man had the worst birthday ever?

Imagine being Diluc, living through a literal worst nightmare. Your dad is dead after you failed to protect him yourself. Not only is your dad dead but he died after wielding a delusion--you dont even know what a delusion is but its clearly bad news. Why the fuck did your father have it and how?

On top of this, the Favonius Knights--the organization you proudly served and the very organization that your father heavily encouraged you to serve--insists on covering up the truth because it makes them look bad. The Favonius Knights, who are supposed to be honorable and uphold integrity, are anything but that.

Then your adoptive brother, who you've known for years and trust with your life, shows up and tells you he's been spying for a foreign nation since you were kids with the intent of harming Mondstadt and everything about your relationship is possibly all one big lie and well--how do you not snap??

Now, I'm also incredibly fond of Kaeya and he was just as traumatized by Crepus's death. He was wracked with guilt for *feeling* relieved that he didn't have to worry about betraying his birth father for his adoptive father since Crepus was dead. He anticipated Diluc's anger and felt like their duel was a punishment for his lies.

To me, it hints that Kaeya probably didn't reveal the truth expecting Diluc's understanding, but rather he knew how he would react and perhaps he wanted Diluc to strike him down in that duel. Or at the very least, he wanted to distance himself from Diluc and cut off ties in order to avoid emotional attachment stopping him from his mission.

I personally head-canon that Diluc withdrew upon seeing Kaeya's vision because well--why would the gods bless Kaeya with a vision if he truly had the intent to harm Mondstadt? So in spite of what Kaeya revealed, he isn't a threat. But there's still a lot of hurt there to navigate through.

I think it's fascinating seeing where they stand in present game because Kaeya obviously has the ideology of working the system from within. He stayed in the knights (even taking over his brother's position) and with Jean rooted out the Inspector and his cronies.

Meanwhile Diluc just isn't that type of person. He doesn't settle, he refuses to work in a system he views corrupt, he rather accomplish what he can outside of it. Curiously, he doesn't challenge the status quo beyond being vocal of his distaste of the Knights.

This is head-canon fantasyland, but I like to envision Kaeya and Diluc do use a lot of the same informants and collaborate on intel relating to the safety of Mondstadt (especially since Diluc can move in ways against the Fatui that the Knights can't due to political reasons) but they struggle to have the same connection as before.

For example, Diluc's story quest--Kaeya was essentially giving Diluc an alibi with the Knights. Even if Jean damn well knows who it is, they still have to have official documentation stating otherwise.

Kaeya is good at reading people, he has to be given how he was raised to be a child spy. But I like to think he struggles to read Diluc like before. Diluc is much more jaded, pessimistic, quieter than before. He prefers to work on his own as much as possible. From Kaeya's pov, the only person he's seen Diluc willing to fully trust enough to work alongside with is the Traveler, and he states as much.

The opposite is true of Diluc. Kaeya was his shadow, a quiet but inquisitive, witty observer. Cavalry Captain Kaeya is much more outgoing and friendly, his charm on full display. Did he ever really truly know Kaeya or did he only show Diluc what he wanted him to see? Is Kaeya happier this way?

Fanon often depicts Kaeya as essentially being barred from the dawn winery from the duel by Diluc himself, but I don't think that's quite the case. Much rather, given the reason he told Diluc that night, I think he views himself as undeserving due to unresolved guilt.

Canon seems to hint at all of this through his hangout and Hidden Strife, the latter of which is unfortunately a time-limited event that occurred before I even played (hoyo please stop having heavy lore drops occur in time limited events).

I think the two want to trust each other again, but both are afraid of destroying the tentative truce they have so they leave all of it unaddressed. Kaeya refuses to be completely truthful ever again and Diluc acknowledges the past but refuses to discuss it. The tragedy in their relationship that neither is at fault for what happened--it's a twisted emotional mess of grief and heartbreak.

The last point I'd like to touch on is the parallels between Kaeya and Diluc both being essentially child soldiers for their fathers' causes.

For Kaeya, being abandoned in Mondstadt to be a child spy is the most overt. For Diluc? Despite Crepus's strong ambition to be a Favonius Knight and to have a vision--neither happened for him. In Diluc's vision story, it states that he views his vision being a result of their "shared" ambition, hinting that his vision was granted after Diluc's strong resolve to achieve his father's dreams for him.

We know Crepus heavily encouraged Diluc down this path at very young age, given Diluc received his vision at age 10 and became the youngest Captain at age 14. In some ways, I'm sure Kaeya was a bit jealous of Diluc for having a loving father present in his life that was overtly proud of him.

I am not saying Crepus wasn't a good father, I think he cared immensely for Kaeya and Diluc both, but I do think he did some morally grey shit.

Diluc abandoning his vision is fascinating and it's almost never explored in fics. He is the only vision holder we know of (aside from the Inazumauns whose visions were taken by force) that had their ambition for their vision shaken in such a way that they voluntarily discarded their vision for a time and only took it back after reigniting a new ambition to have it (and as far we know the only allogene that faced no negative setbacks from using a delusion long-term without their vision present).

I don't know where to end all of this, except if you have ragbros fic recommendations that you believe cover it in a more nuanced way, let me know!

#genshin #fic recs #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #*cracks knuckles* okay. now for the promised rambling in the tags #let's talk about diluc - cause like. what exactly is that guy's deal? i know i say this a lot but diluc makes no sense to me #kaeya - for all his dissembling - is actually pretty internally consistent once you figure out how he ticks #diluc on the other hand. what drives him? guilt? justice? revenge? grief? piety? you could make strong arguments for all of these #(i tend to think of him as driven by guilt - but that's mostly my interpretation. and every time he shows up he throws a wrench in it)#unlike kaeya he is internally contradictory - and i think that's an intentional part of his character #winery owner who hates wine + named after the dawn but works at night + demonstrably gentle but “has perfected the art of violence”#he holds a party and plays nice with dottore yet he gives jean grief for considering the diplomatic pressures of the fatui #outwardly he holds nothing but disdain for the knights but secretly he's collaborating with them (not just kaeya but albedo too)#he wants nothing more than to make his father proud but the one ambition his father wanted most of all he cannot fulfill #and like op mentioned: he refuses to work within the system - but he doesn't challenge it either #i think diluc is a man who is constantly tearing himself apart #he is constantly wrestling with himself - with his impulses and his history and his compulsions and his fears - and it makes him volatile #i don't know if anyone around him truly understands that. i don't know if diluc does either #there are two wolves inside of him except that it's more like 16 wolves and they take turns gnawing at his insides #ok i'm done rambling thanks for reading <3 #also aughh i hope ppl don't mind me tagging them - i lowkey feel bad about it but like if someone was reccing my fics i'd want to know ;-;#leifythoughts

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kazachokolate · 1 year ago

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Watched walkthrough of Pizza Tower and decided to draw some characters

#pizza tower #pepperman #the vigilante #peppino spaghetti #the noise #fake peppino #pizzahead #humanization #my art #redraw #I have strange relationship with this game #I don't like art style and humor like this so there were some things I didn't like or they were straight up disgusting #but characters and the idea itself are interesting #sooo yeah

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colfy-wolfy · 4 months ago

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god rain world is awesome. shout out to rain world.

#i lvoe reain wold . if i could marry the game i would #and i also love joar's general style of like anything. his games his art his designs #have u ever scrolled thru joar's twitter? u should its awesome !!#i love strange environments and sometimes cute sometimes terrifying creatures!!!!#i love the way he does 3D and 2D i love the designs he makes for shit i love airframe ultra i love the signal videos i lo-#.............ok this just sounds like im ultra glazing this guy now #i will NOT form a parasocial relationship with this stranger #i just love the stuff he does #i dont rlly know much about joar himself tbh #rain world #text post

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griem · 5 months ago

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ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

#our life #gb patch #gb patch games #our life beginnings & always #i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different #bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue #this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl #i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man #i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying #everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness #i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader #but irdgaf #bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted #or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to #i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community #esp among the our life fans #just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking #it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature #like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside #also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories #with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written #and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly #again just a very entitled community IJBOL #idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾‍♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves #LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean

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jjkyaoi · 3 months ago

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i feel like chloe and max having relationship problems makes a LOT of sense considering everything the two of them went through, and max sacrificing arcadia bay would 100% be a huge one of them. especially considering chloe lost her mother to that. it’s a decision max made to save her, but regardless. all of their troubles r incredibly realistic but you lost me at chloe dumping her for VICTORIA CHASE. like?????? it’s like they completely forgot every single aspect of what makes chloe chloe. yes they would be rocky but she would fight for her, just like how she fought for her hope and love of rachel still being out there. like. she is incredibly loyal and not once in the original games did she even fuck with victoria. i’m less mad about them breaking up and more mad abt the character assassination of chloe

#life is strange double exposure #life is strange spoilers #life is strange de #chloe price #max claufield #pricefield #lis #life is strange #amberprice #i feel like the entire reason they do this is that with every new lis game there is a new relationship introduced/new love interest #and that’s the format they’re used to #but nobody was asking for that. nobody wanted that #the entire reason most people were excited to see this game was because of chloe and max #and getting to see them happy together in the future like we’d been teased with on other games #idk i feel like throwing away this relationship and not really giving a clear reason why just so you can introduce new romance plots #is a quick road downhill #this is not me saying you need to stick with someone you’re having relationship problems with if you’re a loyal person. in general.#to anyone who might read too much into this #i’m just saying it doesn’t make sense to me with the characters. and if you like this choice that’s fine i really don’t care THAT much

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sonarsunbeam · 9 months ago

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couple of mushroom guys for the funsies. sons and father (hearthands emoji)

#the mycologists have to have SOME sort of relationship to jeremiah and i will die on this hill #incredibly similar haircolors and skintone (atleast in inscryption act2's sprites)#mushroom motifs. poor vision (monocle for jerry glasses for mycolos). both have tie-ins to story secrets and in-universe bugs and glitches #both are considered physically strange and mutated #sorry for the tag ramble but please hear me out ok.#sam draws #inscryption #the hex #the hex game #the hex 2018 #daniel mullins games #artists on tumblr #the mycologists #jeremiah

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icewindandboringhorror · 25 days ago

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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really #listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices #for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre #almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different #than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since #essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like #1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would #rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting #long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average #I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since #I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense #to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time #they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention #to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying #direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same #things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff #since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came #out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically #I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did #see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it #silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the #opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my #case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be #reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol

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