#also he may not have an official relationship at all ever but come on dude be real i see how you look at other men

[foodlesoodlesdoodles]

modern crossover aus are truly something because I feel like all of these gothic men are a single thread away from having the craziest gay sex imaginable and we’re just lucky it was a bed this time

[consumeroflemoans]

Slightly dumb vilidia au idea:

They start dating before NRC, but it's an online relationship. They both met online under aliases, Vil was using an alt account and Idia just using his regular account.

How their online meet-cute went exactly can be up to interpretation, I like to think that Idia made a post sharing his opinion on an another shitty live action remake of his favourite anime and Vil actually agreed with him. So he in turn shared his opinion too via his alt, and that's how their online friendship started

This goes on for a while, at first they're just discussing various movies, but eventually their conversations move on to other topics, like how their lives are going and stuff. None of them share any personal details like their names, but they do share what happens in their daily lives. For Idia he's constantly sharing what goes down in his video games, and for Vil he talks about his latest modelling gigs and stuff but in a vague way since this is still his alt account.

Soon Idia starts to actually look forward to talking with Vil, and before he even realizes it he got a major crush on him. He freaks out of course, like this dude is a SSR model! there's no way he would want to date someone he met online. While Vil is also realizing he too got himself a crush on Idia, and he's like "Well he may be a gamer, but maybe I can be his player 2?".

Ortho encourages Idia to confess, and after a lot of convincing. Idia decides to shoot his shot, and just as he was about to start typing, Vil comes in like "Hey, wanna date?". Idia short circuits for a moment before replying back "YES" "I- I mean, if you really want to"

And so they're officially dating online! Idia is over the moon and Vil is just smiling like a dork at the screen. They do phone calls when they both have the time, and constantly text each other, Idia introduces his favourite MMORPG to Vil so they can go on online dates in the game.

This goes on for about six months before they both start NRC, they're obviously still texting each other but phone calls are less frequent and so are their online dates since they're busy with school now.

This all adds up to the reason why I made this au in the first place. One day during lunch, Idia is bragging about his boyfriend to Leona and a few other first years, with Vil sitting a few seats away. Leona obviously doesn't believe him and demands proof, so Idia pulls out his phone and is like "I'll call him right here and show you he's real!" and so he starts calling his boyfriend... and Vil's phone starts ringing at the same time...

A brief moment of silence as they turn their attention towards Vil, as he picks up his phone and answers the call, he says hello and Idia hears his voice through his phone's speaker. Cue complete panic and confusion from Idia as he tries to process what he just learned, Vil is slightly dying on the inside. meanwhile Leona is laughing his ass off.

Idia runs off and Vil chases after him, he eventually catches up with Idia and grabs his hand to make him stop running. They're both out of breath, Idia more than Vil, Idia himself is still freaking out while Vil is mostly caught up with the situation. Vil takes the hand he grabbed and entwines their hands together and simply smiles at him. Idia's hair immediately turns bright pink as he stutters over his words before just shutting himself up as he tightens his grip on Vil's hand.

So now they're dating in real life too! they can do everything they did online but IRL now! and even more because now they can hold hands, cuddle, and even kiss! plus Vil can help Idia take better care of himself.

THIS HAS HEALED ME FROM THE LAST ASK THANK YOU

This is seriously the cutest idea omg. Them being goofy little dorks and bonding over movies together is the cutest thing.

“Well he may be a gamer, but maybe I can be his player 2?” Vil that is the cheesiest thing you have ever said and I love you for it. I love the thought of Vil at a photoshoot or on set checking his phone and just having this really dorky smile on his face while he texts Idia. Let that man be a teenager 📢📢📢

IDIA INTRODUCING VIL TO GAMES SK THEY COULD OLAY ROGETHER AUGH

They would love Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing actually. They would just get on call and play for hours at a time, just talking to each other and relaxing.

ALSO THEM FINALLY MEETING IN PERSON IS THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE EXPERIENCE I LOVE IT.

Have I told you I love them

I am dying

This is amazing

[alice-after-dark]

So...the falling out (ft. why Vox is in Hell)

(Getting this out of the way, I have VERY mixed feelings about Valentino. On one hand, he is a great character. On the other had, he is an absolutely horrible person and I just can't bring myself to like him the way I love Vox and Velvette. I am very interested in seeing what the show does with him and how he is handled, considering the concept is all about redemption and the dude has done some pretty heinous shit)

But ultimately this post is about Alastor and Vox and their falling out and what - or rather who - caused it.

TW for implied sexual abuse, abusive relationships, gaslighting, manipulation, and other canon-typical triggers. Also gonna put homophobia with the disclaimer that Alastor doesn't actually mean it that way, but that's how Vox hears it. Perceived homophobia is more accurate. This also technically contains StaticMoth but I'm not tagging it because it's not exactly in favor of the relationship and I don't want to dump it into the tag of people who enjoy the ship.

See, while Alastor may be a serial killer, we see that he has his own twisted moral compass, so someone like Valentino rubs him in all the wrong ways. He greatly dislikes the moth and detests the idea of any association with him.

Vox on the other hand, well, scumbags are a dime a dozen in his industry. From his perspective, it's just something that comes with the territory, a necessary evil. You want to succeed in this industry? You put up with some nasty behavior. So when he sees Valentino rising to power and creating his own empire, he only sees the business potential. His industry has already well trained him to turn a blind eye to things like Valentino's unsavory nature for the sake of progress and his own success. How he feels about things on a personal level doesn't matter. The industry doesn't care about your sensitive little morals (will probably expand on this further in a different post, but I do believe that Vox learned the hard way that no one cares and you have to do what you have to do to get ahead).

So when Vox initially proposes an official partnership, Alastor is actually down...until he learns Valentino will be a part of the package. This leads to them arguing, Alastor basically telling Vox he has to choose between them, the first time Alastor calls Vox a "pathetic sell out," and the Radio Demon flat out accusing him of whoring himself out to Valentino for a business deal (this one particularly hurts because, again, the idea of sleeping with someone to get a better deal is just par the course for Vox. He's learned to push down those feeling of self-disgust and now here Alastor is dragging them out into the spotlight and shaming him for it). Alastor utterly refuses to be associated with Valentino and is disgusted that Vox would even entertain the thought and this ultimately ends with a fight and them parting ways, both feeling self-righteous, betrayed, and offended by the other.

And Valentino, having witnessed the entire thing and ever one to take advantage of a situation, gets his claws deep into a VERY insecure and hurt Vox by just reinforcing that Alastor never cared about him and was just using him for entertainment.

"But don't worry, Voxxy. I care about you..."

And now Vox, who has spent his entire human life hiding that his attraction extended to men as well as women and is desperately looking for comfort after losing someone he allowed himself to care very deeply about, falls right into the moth's trap, ironically getting himself into one of those situations he always turned a blind eye to (it is Hell after all and what is Hell without ironic suffering?).

Meanwhile Alastor has lost one of the few demons he viewed as a true ally and friend and to make it sting all the more he lost them to someone like Valentino. The very idea that Vox picked a disgusting creature like Valentino over him is crushing. He feels used, discarded, and worthless (which is a state ripe for some bad deal making, wouldn't you say?).

Tis all for now. Would love to hear people's thoughts on this!

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi how you doing?

So I have a question that is bothering me.

How do you think the conversation went when at one point in their relationship JKK had to talk to the others members?

Like i imagine they must have told them like "officially" even if the others knew smth was going on btw them.

And do you think they tried to warn them? Bcz they are idols living in SK and in the biggest group?

And what about the company? Do you think they had to "officially" come out to them too?

THANKS

Why is this really difficult question for me? Omg

There is literally no way for anyone to know any of this my lovely 😂😂😂

What we can say happened for certain coz it seems like it would be protocol, would be Bangpd holding a meeting with all 7 of them. Jikook being together affects the entire group after all. So their boss calling them all together after everything has been said and done is a thing I think we can all agree on, probably happened.

As for the rest it's all guess work on my end of course since like I mentioned apart from parties involved, there's no way of having an exact answer to this.

So this is just what I think happened and I wouldn't mind seeing in the comment section what others think also.

How do you think the conversation went when at one point in their rlship Jkk had to talk to the other members?

Members i think already knew: Jhope, V, Jin,

Member i think needed to be told: RM,

Member I'm not sure about: Suga

I dont recall Jhope talking alot about women but between Suga saying his type is a man with a beard and JK a girl with muscles and Jimin shamelessly wanting JK, it's easy to peg Yoonminkook from jump. RM, Jin and V however, if u watch their early content there is a way they talk that's super hetero. The word wife and girlfriend and kids used to be thrown around which is why I've always pegged Jin as straight. (Yes gay men can have kids too but Taejin meant with women for sure) while I think RM is bi, these 3 emitted the most heteronomative vibes to me.

My point is, I can see this being why RM could have possibly missed what was happening right under his nose. As for V, due to his original views on homosexuality I would've put him in this category if Vminkook weren't as close as they used to be. But the general consensus is that V felt some type of way when Jikook got together since he kind of lost his best friend to JK. Its because of this I can see V putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

First it was him and Jimin hanging out together. Then JK wants to join them all the time so now they're the close trio. But then suddenly Jikook are hanging out without him or keep disappearing and coming up with weird excuses. Idk if you've ever had friends that were shagging, but things start to get weird and suspicious real quick and before you know it, you've worked out they're hooking up. Especially when u start to feel like the 3rd wheel. I imagine that's what happened with V. The moment he realised Jimin likes dudes it was game over, really.

The reason why I think Jin didn't need to be told is coz the Jinkook dynamic is really strong. And we know it was this way from the beginning. What with Jin taking JK under his wing and being like a dad to him almost. He looked after him and made sure he got everything he wanted. And even though they have a Tom and Jerry dynamic going on I think JK respects the shit out of this man. I can see even now in 2023 Jimin going to Jin when JK won't listen and tells him to talk to JK or something like that. And it doesn't even have to be for a Jikook fight. I can see Jimin going to Jin about any concerns he could have about JK. Anyway, my point is, I think JK told Jin himself. That is, if Jin didn't already figure it out. Even if he told JK "I knew already" I can see JK wanting to tell Jin himself.

I cannot place Suga and I go back and forth for 2 reasons. 1) Him being queer himself may have made him automatically figure it out, couple that with him liking, liking Jimin, but noticing Jimin likes JK instead. Or 2) Suga likes to mind his own business and so he don't pay attention to members personal lives unless he needs to. Plus he was busy trying to practice hard on this complex choreo he didn't sign up for and had producing and writing to worry about.... idk guys. Idk about our mans Suga. But I lean more towards number 1 because just coz he minds his business doesn't mean he don't notice what goes on around him 🤔

As for Jhope this is a no brainer, really. We don't even need to headcannon this y'all. He was the first to know. Didn't even need to be told. JK was around them all the time in their room, in Jimin's bed. I wouldn't be surprised if he accidentally walked in on a make out session once or twice. Or that one time they thought he was sleeping and they started making out, little did they know Jhope could hear everything

Idk anon. Idk how Hobi found out but he was the first.

I imagine they must have told them like "officially"

For sure. I agree. At some point Jikook must have decided to actually say something to the members. Maybe 2016? I think that by Osaka Vlive all members knew. After that live no one was allowed to budge into another member's room without warning ever again so for that to have happened means all for them saw what we saw, which means they knew. So by 2016 they all knew.

V, Jin and Jhope of course told them they already knew. Maybe Suga too? And only RM was shook 😂😂 i can't picture otherwise guys. Tell me he's not confused AF here. He's like; what in the world is going on???

And do you think they tried to warn them? Bcz they are idols living in SK and in the biggest group?

Yes. Especially RM as the leader. I'm sure as soon as he found out he was already thinking about the downside. Jin and Jhope supported them immediately and told them to be careful. V and Suga did not address repercussions. I don't see them caring about that.

And what about the company? Do you think they had to "officially" come out to them too?

Like I said their rlship affects the group so yeah an official meeting with Bangpd had to have been had about this. Their contracts had to be adjusted, etc.

But I believe Bangpd supports them 1000% and was quite lenient with them until 2022/2023.

Hope I've answered accordingly. Share your thoughts guys. I'm interested in hearing who u thought already knew and who u thought had to be told.

Hmmm.... I wonder though, if moments like this one from 2014 made RM sus though..🤔 but still, idk why I think he just didn't think in a million years 2 members of his own group could do something like this 😂😂

[beawritingbooks]

Buckingham (Robin x Chrissy) headcanons?

I love this ship! There's something about the popular girl getting together with the band geek that just feels right.

Look at how cute they would be:

This headcanon feeds into some other headcanons that I have. I am a Steddie shipper. I headcanon that Eddie is Pansexual/Queer and Steve is Bisexual. Lastly, I think that after all of the UpsideDown stuff, that Chrissy & Eddie would develop a similar relationship to Steve & Robin. What I mean is that, through Steddie is how Chrissy & Robin would get to know one another and become Buckingham.

My evidence for this is how well Eddie & Chrissy got along in the woods:

Steve & Robin's devotion to one another is pretty well documented, too:

Basically, I like the parallels in the friendships and in the relationships. The symmetry is pleasing. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'll give some examples below.

Platonic Soulmates:

--Robin (Nerd) + Steve (Jock)

--Chrissy (Jock) + Eddie (Nerd)

Romantic Relationships:

--Robin (Nerd) /Chrissy (Jock)

--Steve (Jock) / Eddie (Nerd)

So, I know that canonically Robin is a lesbian, and I headcanon that Chrissy is bisexual. That being said, I do not think that their relationship would come to fruition until during or after university. Like, Robin & Chrissy are wisely too terrified to be super out in their hometown.

Plus, the Vicky situation might break Robin's heart. In my opinion, Vicky reads like a questioning woman that does not know how she feels yet. Even if she does know how she feels, she might not want to come out ever. The show is set in the 80s, so she and Robin could have a sort of Chappell Roan "Good Luck, Babe" moment.

Also, Chrissy has to heal from her relationship with Jason. That dude was cruel and controlling. He didn't notice something was wrong with her, but Eddie noticed in minutes. He created a mob to go on a murderous manhunt, as well. Jason and his mob harmed innocent children, too. So, I do not think he was a kind or attentive boyfriend to Chrissy when they were alone.

To me, Robin & Chrissy both have a sensitive energy. Like, I think their hearts need a lot of time to heal after they have been broken. Be that as it may, they would have to move on with their lives. So, I could see them both going to a liberal arts university.

Chrissy has crafter energy. So, I could see her doing a complete 180 from being a preppy jock. I kind of envision her getting into the boho aesthetic, & starting to make weird (affectionate) textile art to help her cope with her trauma. She'd sell her work at farmer's markets and sometimes in small galleries.

Robin I could see still sticking with music. I headcanon that she moves to a big city, becomes part of the lgbt+ scene, and joins a symphony orchestra. There, she'd probably work her way up the ranks and eventually become a successful professional musician.

As for how they'd get together, I think that they would become best friends first. Then, I think it'd be one of those situations where they just keep spending more and more time together. Then, before they realize it, they've been in a monogamous relationship for a few weeks. The only thing is that they just haven't defined the relationship in official terms yet. That's how I think that they'd end up together.

Like, this is how I imagine their home looking:

Ignore Vin Diesel in this image. Just imagine this garden area belonging to Chrissy and Robin when they become an established artist/musician couple that is thriving in the city.

I hope you have a nice day!

[tunglo]

repost of an old blog post for my new Ken era...

Today [March 13th] is Ken Day! Kenneth Sean "Ken" Carson first hit store shelves in 1961 and, in a move that preceded reality TV by a decade or three, we all got to watch as Barbie met the man of her dreams.

Since then Ken has gone through almost as many incarnations as Barbie herself and had over 40 different careers. In celebration of all that fantastic plastic, here are just ten of the top Ken dolls produced over the years...

--

The 'fun' of shaving Ken has been a staple of his repertoire over the years; there are versions from 1996, 1999, 2010, and 2019.

But, as ever, it's the original that's best. Here is 1979's Sport & Shave Ken. Not only did he come with this spiffing tennis outfit, he also had a shaving mug, two 'razors', and a marker pen of your very own to draw on Ken's facial hair...

According to the brochure: "It's Ken with a whole new look for the 1980s. He's athletic. He's all man."

Indeed.

--

Cool Times Ken.

Never has a name been quite so misleading.

There's a reason Pixar went with this Ken era for the Toy Story movies, and it certainly wasn't because of Ken's close relationship with the concept of cool.

--

Sometimes your problem is not that Ken has too much facial hair. It's that he just doesn't have enough. Luckily 1972's Mod Hair Ken had you covered. The same idea was utilised again in 1975 for The Now Look Ken, except this time around his hair was longer to capture the true essence of mid 70s cool.

--

Ken has been a doctor many times - 1963, 1992, 1995, 1996, 1997, 2011, 2018 - but 1987's offering beats the rest hands down. Not only is Ken a doctor, but you can fold the lapels of his shiny nylon medical coat down and he's ready for a night of wining and dining!

What a doll.

--

What more can I say?

--

--

According to Keeping Ken, this shot with Wedding Day Alan was an official Mattel postcard

In 1993 Mattel redesigned Ken to fulfil little girls' requests that Barbie's beau be cooler. Ken was now so cool he was attracting interest from all quarters, including the US gay community who were sure Ken's cock ring necklace came straight - heh - from the club scene. As a result Earring Magic Ken sold out for Christmas '93, and remains the best selling Ken doll of all time in spite of Mattel discontinuing and recalling the doll once they realised Ken's secret was out of the closet...

--

In 2010 Mattel released Sugar Daddy Ken, so named - they say - because he owns a little dog called Sugar.

Hmmm.

--

Back in 2004, just in time for Valentine's Day, Barbie ditched Ken in favour of Australian surfer dude, Blaine. Blaine O'Hare - or at least his face sculpt - began life in 1998 when Totally Yo-Yo Skipper was initially set to gain a new friend called Zach. Though he never actually made it into production, his features were used for 1999's Generation Girl Dance Party Blaine.

The Generation Girl line followed Barbie's time at high school in NYC, introducing a variety of new friend dolls and spawning another Blaine in 2000. When he returned in 2004 Blaine had wisely dropped the 'curtains' hairstyle and traded in New York for California. In this continuity the pair met through Blaine's younger sister, Summer, who was good friends with Barbie.

In fact, voting was held through the Barbie.com website to determine who Cali Girl Barbie ought to go for - Ken, Blaine, long time pal Steven, another newcomer named Diego, or stay single. We all know how that went. Ken went away to lick his wounds for a couple of years, but in 2006 he was back with a new look. It wasn't enough for Barbie to take him back though and the pair remained 'just good friends' until another PR campaign saw them get back together in 2011.

--

The Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse webseries is awesome.

Launched in May 2012, it pokes fun at the entire Barbie mythos and did more to give Ken a personality than any other Mattel project. We learn that Ken loves inventing, is addicted to sherbet, and suffers from Hyper Cuteness Sensitivity Disorder...

--

This year Ken is finally taking control of his own destiny. Well. His own laundry, at any rate...

[freyaswolf]

For years, I lived in bewildered befuddlement regarding the musical musings of Taylor Swift. I usually listen to rock or metal, so her brand of pop was not a part of my usual lineup. However, I gained lovely friends here on Tumblr who swear by our Lady TayTay, so I decided I should check out her stuff. But there was SO MUCH, I didn't even know where to start. Luckily, my dearest mutual and actual friend, @idontgettechnology , took pity on me and made me the most amazing playlist to get me started. She titled it Taylor Swift 101, with a description of "Class is is session bish".

I spent today working my way through it, and it was a revelation! I took notes, cause that's what you're supposed to do in class, so here are my highlights from the 56 song playlist. I know I'm missing out on years of lore regarding TSwift, but I'm eager to learn. After a few more listens I may even be ready for the 201 level of this class lol

Notes below the cut, to save your scrolling thumb 😜

Ok, here we go! (I'm pretty sure these are in the intended order, and mostly these are first impressions)

1. Fifteen: wow, this took me straight back to highschool!

2. Teardrops on my Guitar: yep, I'm already hooked

3. Fearless: UGH!!!!

4. Tied Together with a Smile: FUCK!

5. Whitehorse: Holy shit!

6. Cold as You: DAMN!!!

7. You Belong with Me: (SCREAMING) I'm officially invested!

8. Stay Beautiful: 😍😍😍

9. That's The Way I Loved You: FUUUUUUCK!!!

10. Come Back, Be Here: I'm dead over this one ☠️

11. Sparks Fly: EHRMEHGHERD!!!

12. All Too Well: DUUUUUDE!!! I think this is about Jake Gyllenhaal? Also, OOOUUUUUCCCHHH, I can feel her pain!

13. Dear John: EW! Girl, he's a toxic ass narcissist! Babygirl, you need to ditch those boys, get you a girlfriend instead. I volunteer as tribute, or I would if I wasn't too old and boring lol

14. I Almost Do: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

15. Enchanted: Oh the feels!!! Also, my personal head canon is that this is about Chris Evans 😜

16. Red: oh boy, have I been here!

17. Long Live: THIS IS SUCH A GREAT SONG! OH MY HEART!

18. Blank Space: HA! I love this song!

19. Out of the Woods: girl does not have normal relationships

20. How You Get the Girl: OOOOF! I mean come on, she's literally giving instructions!

21. Bad Blood: Fuck you song if ever I heard one! "You made this mess, you know that right?" Kinda vibes

22. Clean: (hand over heart in salute) I feel you sis!

23. Wonderland: Love this! Also, who is this green eyed boy she keeps mentioning?!

24. Look at What You Made Me Do: love this! "Fine, now I'm the bad guy" vibes 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

25. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DUDE!!! LOVE THIS!!! 🤣

26. Gorgeous: Love this! UGH SHUT UP YOUR PRETTY FACE! Also about Chris Evans lol

27. Getaway Car: Damn, I've had a few of these, and yeah nothing good happens in a getaway car. Doomed! Lol

28. Dress: HOT!!!

29. New Years Day: Oh my heart!!!

30. The Man: FUCK YES!!!

31. The Archer: wow, exhausting/exhausted, this poor kid!

32. London Boy: FUCK. (This totally made me think of JQ) lol

33. Paper Rings: LOVE!!! ❤️❤️❤️

34. Cruel Summer: relatable lol

35. Cardigan: Sobbing 😭

36. Ivy: UGH! Made me cry!

37. Exile: FML. SOBBING. FR UGLY CRYING.

38. Champagne Problems: this girl needs a hug

39. Illicit Affairs: OUCH!

40. Coney Island: 🖤

41. Hoax: I am bereft. I feel like I just broke up with all of my exes at once.

42. Gold Rush: definitely about Chris Evans. Also the way I flirt, if you're too perfect, I avoid and ignore. And if I can't do that, I heckle.

43. Tis the Damn Season: FEEEEELS!!!

44. Mirrorball: she needs all of the hugs, and some real friends.

45. No Body, No Crime: I would absolutely hide bodies for her. I would die for her.

45. Betty: I have questions? Also, I 🖤 when she says fuck.

46: Evermore: I liked it, but I didn't have a definitive "note"

47. Antihero: HA!

48. Maroon: I really love it when she says fuck. It may be a new kink for me.

49. Lavender Haze: I really want her to get a girlfriend.

50. You're on Your Own Kid: SO GOOD!

51. Bejeweled: FUCK YES!!!

52. Mastermind: 😈😈😈 I've done this. This is me.

53. The Great War: bonded like war buddies lol

54. High Infidelity: Feels decidedly Hellcheery

55. Would've Could've Should've: DAAAAAMMMMNNN!!!!

56. Dear Reader: WOW

And I am SPENT! This was a rollercoaster of emotions, and I enjoyed the whole fucking time. I am now a ride or die T Swift fan. Dude, I had no idea. Thank you so much MJ for this guided tour, I had the best time today! 🥰

[cyrassol]

man i haven't been on tumblr for so long i forgot how this goes, but uhhh here ig??

18+ only, s'il-vous-plaît

i realise this won't stop any minors who really want to be here, but a) please, b) you'll be blocked if i find out or suspect you're underage, and c) if you really want to see sex-related stuff then you should be learning about safe and consensual sex and, let me tell you, DoL and its fandom ain't the place for it my dude

and with that out of the way

hi! i'm cyra, you may use any pronouns but she/her usually works!

i am in my mid-20's, a funny little tidbit that surprises me everytime i remember

artist, despite what my shitty lighting and shading skills may tell you

sometimes, SOMETIMES, i also write

(psst if you want to see anything in particular relating to those things, feel free to send requests, ask box is open)

i am. terrible. TERRIBLE. at DMs. if you send me a message and i never reply or even read (does tumblr give read receipts?), know that it is not about you personally! i just get crazy anxious about text messages in general, so if you want to talk to me please send an ask or tag me in a post instead :) i understand it isn't the same (which is why i prefer it lmao) but it has a much, MUCH higher chance of being seen and replied to!

gdi i keep editing this post and adding shit to it but! i typically only tag characters and my stuff, but if you want me to start tagging specific topics/triggers then all you gotta do is ask me to and i will :)

welcome to my DoL blog! i can also be found on reddit with the same username as here :)

for the curious, info about my PCs are under the cut!

••••••••••••••••

Arden, my main PC. Genderfluid, but she/her is what she uses the most out of convenience. Official sources of income are her dates with Avery and modelling for Niki, but most nights there's also a shadowed figure breaking into Danube street mansions—oh, you've seen it? No, you haven't—and on Fridays you might see a masked figure go into the brothel for a weekly private show. Love interest is Avery, though both have the mindset that theirs is mostly a transactional relationship. Arden's also down bad for Wren, but for now it seems to be unrequited.

Monroe, my baby secondary PC. Herm/intersex, but although he does occasionally dabble in crossdressing for work, he goes exclusively by he/him and masculine terms. Sex worker, and pretty sought-after, too—Briar would lose quite a lot of money if Monroe stopped showing up one day. Unfortunately, it's come at the cost of his reputation, something he's already being blackmailed for. Love interests are Sydney and Whitney, though both relationships are something Monroe entered into extremely reluctantly given his current circumstances (and also because Whitney is... Whitney).

Adeline, my "forsake civilisation, return to nature" PC lmao. Cis woman with the wolf transformation, which she definitely did not get through the mushroom route. Plantpeople enthusiast, but her true love will always be the wolf pack and its leader. She did get kidnapped by Eden once after she got lost in the woods during a hunt and, while she escaped, sometimes Addie finds herself thinking about the hunter with curiosity—after all, didn't she also fight the Black Wolf at first before knowing better? Maybe the hunter isn't so bad either. Probably the only one of my PCs who'll become a parent.

Vincent, my final PC (for now?). Cis man with a huge everything—huge heart, huge muscles, huge... dick. Gentle giant, it's a wonder he ever escaped Remy's farm—probably an accident tbh, must have fallen into the river or something because this man was as well-behaved as they come. Nowadays his mind is pretty much healed from whatever weird trance he'd been in back then, but despite how happy he is with Alex and the farm, sometimes he remembers his days at Remy's with longing—Vince doesn't let himself wonder if it's the place or its owner that he misses, though.

All my PCs are in their 20's, btw! They also all exist at the same time, maybe one day I'll make a post with all their connections to each other and other NPCs :) It'll be... a mess lmao

[steaksex]

Oh no. I may need to i fodump about my stupid dnd character thata not even in a campaign rn here so im not annoying in other places. Sorry lmao im developing a relationship for a backstroy that probably wont come up and not only is tantix fuckin this other guy NARSTY (i think his name is going to be artin because its funny because hes like an art guy and it came up in the elf name generator) and its funny because tantix is 3'4 and artin is 6'5. Sorry this was meant to be a warning only but i meed to infodump NOW id add a readmore if i could

Anyways tantix is a gnome artificer who is fascinated by machinery and utilizing magic in practical, less 'glamorous' ways. Using magic to manipulate magnets and shit. He used to work with a partner (artin) and it was like for decades that they worked together (elves and gnomes yanno) and artin did the design stuff and the ergonomics. Tantix made things happen and artin sanded down the edges and made it feasible to use and it is suchhh a metaphor for how they interacted. Tantix cares about safety because hes probably seen people be like. Crushed w gears. Guy who keeps a first aid kid in every room. Artin doesnt care as much because he doesnt see the precautions as safety nets but as restraints. After an argument about that and some other shit i imagine im still workin on it artin, knowing tantix will be able to keep a fire contained and wont die and also being kind of fucking pissed takes the plans they made, decades and decades of blueprints and sketches and ideas both big and small, and burns them all. Artin ran off after that (always being the less practical and dramatic of the two lmao) and tantix saw all his work to this point being burnt and reached in to salvage what he could. He got burnt in the process and disnt save that much of his work. Hes pissed at artin and hurt, and both of them are a bit more unhinged without the other to tether them. Tantix is prickly and while he can do good work, its a slog to try to talk to him. Artin was always better with talkong to people but wasnt so good at staying realistic and is provably off somewhere working on the thousandth half finished project and also being there to get pulled in as like a boss or something in a real session

Okay now you read the lame ass lore you can hear about them fuckin. Anyways you knowwww those two have crazy insane fucking machines right like these dudes have remote control vibrators and also theyre both pretty strong so like. They make it work even though one is twice the others height. Oh also theyre both trans and im getting silly w it its magic. Anyways tantix doesnt even need to lay down for artin ti sit on his face, artin keeps his hair long and tantix takes full advantage of that. They never officially dated but there is that like. Awkward ex energy there presently. In the past which is the now of this text post tantix is sitting on the workbench 'taking a break' to 'come up with more ideas' while artin is palming him and speaking close to his ear trying to prompt him to talk. Also for eases sake artin has some crazy gender shit going on i may use they/them for artin but either way artin is using magic to fuck tantix so good bro you dont even know like full on tentacles. I do not think theyve ever kissed outside of sex though sorry im a fan of that sorta dynamic they pretend to be professionals even when artins legs are shaking because theyve got a magic vibrator in them that gets stronger every time they stumble over a word. Tantix has crazy fucking straps bro its like fucking him and fucking them at the same time or like tantix tries to 'convince' artin to be more conscientious of wearing like. Safety goggles. And his plan is to fuck artin until he cant form words and then tantix has to like roll them onto a dolly to roll them back to bed because its just hard to carry something that big. This is so so nothing but i needed to get this out SOMEWHERE not even just the sex stuff (but i am listening to ayesha erotica rn so im in that sorta mood lmfao) but the relationship stuff

By the way i jist need people to know if i do for real talk about tantix or if i chicken out he used to get nasty sloppy gay trans sex but now he doesnt anymore which is why hes such a douchebag if he was getting eaten out on a workbench he would be so much normaler

[funkylittlebats]

Listen. I love Timberkon. Anyone who follows me could tell you that. But Timberkonbart doesn't get enough love. BUT Timberkonbartcas (how long can we get this ship name lol) gets NO love. I'm sorry but just imagine Bernard the superhero fanboy in a relationship with an entire TEAM of superheros.

I headcanon Cassie as a lesbian and she's in the polycule platonically and is just as important as the romantic commitments because they don't prioritize romance. She's the biggest spoon when they cuddle :) I also headcanon Bart as aroflux bc I'm arospec and I like Bart. He's also platonic (most of the time).

Anyway, imagine Tim introducing his boyfriend to yj and they all slowly worm their way into the relationship. First is Bart. He and Bernard get along like a housefire, much to everyone's dismay. Bernard may not be able to keep up with how fast Bart speaks, but he can definitely keep up with his train of thought, which astounds Bart on account of how rare that is. They absolutely adore causing chaos together. Tim jokes a few times about losing Bernard to Bart, and Cassie jokes back that the obvious answer would be a polyamory. Neither of them had thought about Bart like that until that moment, but... now that they are thinking about it...well actually they're still not sure. But Bernard wants some form of recognized commitment with his new friend. He and Tim have a conversation a few days later, and then Bernard and Bart had a conversation, and then Bart was official with them.

Kon was the next to join. He'd been in agony ever since Tim came out to them... by revealing he had a boyfriend. Great, the guy he's liked for years is into dudes, but he still doesn't have a chance because he's taken. He tried so hard to hate Bernard. But, damn, the guy was charming! It took Kon a while to realize his feelings for Bernard. He insisted to himself that the pounding in his heart, the shaking in his hands, the swirling thoughts were all just because of how much he hated Bernard for "taking" Tim. Eventually he admitted to himself that no, he just liked Bernard. In the same way he liked Tim. Great, now he's in love with two guys that he'll never be able have. But then they opened up their relationship to Bart and it struck him that he might just have a chance. Then, he has an "oh shit I like Bart too?!" moment as he watches his friend be all fuckin cutesy with his crushes. He went whining to Cassie, asking for how he was supposed to tell them. Cassie of course told him to just man up and communicate directly. So that is the exact opposite of what he does. He starts cooking them meals, inserting himself into their dates, their cuddle piles. Eventually Bart just up and asks him if he's trying to be the fourth addition in their relationship and Kon bluescreens. Once he finally processes the words he's nodding SO fast, it's adorable. They have a thorough discussion with him about how he'll fit into the polycule and about the importance of direct communication, and then he's official too.

Cassie does not play games with this shit. She had started to feel left behind. She knew her friends still cared about her, of course, she never doubted that. It's just... seeing them all together like that... it made her want that same level of commitment with them that they had with each other. A word, something official that recognized that she is more than just their friend. Not that the word friend is inaccurate, she didn't feel romantically inclined toward any of them, it just didn't feel deep enough. Not deep enough for the people she had been with for years and would be with for years to come. The people she'd lay down her life for without a second thought. The people she'd do absolutely anything for. (Sure, Bernard was a new addition, but it felt like he had been there since forever). And thanks to Bart, she knew that a platonic partner would be perfectly fine for their polycule. So she asked. They were watching a movie and her friends were all tangled up together on the couch while she sat on a beanbag chair. She left to get more popcorn, and when she came back, said fuck it, strecthed herself across the four of them, and asked how they'd feel if she was a platonic addition to their relationship. Tim, who she had layed her head on, pulled her in and said he'd love that, the others following suit. Their legs were numb by the end of the movie and Cassie had slight aches in weird places from the contortion (and their knees) but they were all happy and together so why should they give a shit?

[nobrakes]

Hii! I have a question; why are Nico R and Lewis H fighting? Their beef is so funny to me as a person that is a casual f1 fan

uhhh, how to begin explaining?

i'll give you a quick and very incomplete rundown, but first, it must be said that currently, things aren't much of a two-sided "fight" per se but more of "Nico being desperate to be noticed by Lewis who is just living his life, has moved on and doesn't care" or as we call it affectionately "Nico Go To Therapy Challenge"

Obviously, there's the whole "best friends since childhood, Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg were inseparable on both hotel rooms and karting tracks. Rosberg is the only one to ever beat Hamilton in equal machinery for the F1 championship".

They were friends, despite all circumstances and differences, from their backgrounds, families, finances, etc etc. Lewis always brilliant carrying the weight of the world and the dream of F1, Nico also brilliant and looking to prove himself and live up to his dad's legacy.

When eventually they both joined F1, Nico in Williams (2006) and Lewis with McLaren (2007), they were still pretty good friends.

Lewis went on to have one of the most insane first seasons ever seen in F1, almost becoming champion right out of gate.

Nico also found success, getting podiums in 2008 and on their first double podium, this very famous scene of them jumping and hugging happened.

Nico moved to Merc in 2010.

Eventually after the sick and twisted move from Lewis that all the F1 """reporters""" said was a career ender, Lewis went to Mercedes, joining as Nico's teammate.

And as history tells us, as their success on-track became more and more evident, their relationship went down the drain.

With Merc's turbo-hybrid era dominance, the competition for the tittle was basically a inner team affair and that created a perfect storm for the destruction of a friendship between two very competitive people.

Their friendship officially ended publicly in 2014, after the infamous incident when Nico parked the car at the end of qualifying to be on pole position on Monaco, robbing Lewis of the chance of a slam dunk win on Sunday (he denied at the time doing this on purpose, but since then has indicated he wasn't so innocent after all) (chaotic evil) and Lewis said on an interview "We're Not Friends" (oof).

There were soooo many incidents between them since then, it's impossible for me to list all of them. Some of the ones that to me are more memorable are:

2014 SPA incident, on which Niki Lauda himself was furious at what happened;

Hungary 2014, Lewis - ICONICALY may I say - refuses to move aside to let Nico through "I'm not slowing down for Nico."

USA 2015, Lewis clinches the championship early at COTA and then proceeds to throw the P2 cap at Nico who throws it back at him

2016 Spanish GP, when they had a double DNF going into turn 1

2016 Austrian GP, they clashed on the last lap

2016 Abu Dhabi when Lewis, who was leading the race started backing up the cars in hopes of other ppl overtaking Nico and helping him win the championship, which didn't work cause Nico ended up finally winning. Lewis post-race saying: "What am I supposed to do? Just sit there and let the dude come and win the championship? [...] I had to try and help myself because no one else was going to."

Anyways, all of these were very controversial and divided Merc fans. Still, to this day there are differing opinions on each incident, who was to blame, etc etc. The main thing is that it became a VERY toxic environment between them, Nico was king of trying mind games and saying batshit insane things to the media, while also playing into r*cist microaggressions at times. Lewis was very much focused and wanted to win at all costs as well, he did shitty things too, low-key floated the conspiracy theory that his car was the only Merc engine that kept breaking (Malasya 2016 how u doing).

IMO both of them were insane and shitty at different moments, and it's a more complex situation than who's right/who's wrong, good/bad, also I AM biased towards Lewis. I love him.

lmao I'm honestly not qualified to give a full timeline of every incident as I wasn't watching f1 then (i was free from this madness, I miss being free).

However, when it comes to the current state of their relationship, Nico since his 2016 championship win and sudden retirement from F1 (that way Lewis couldn't beat him again) has tried and tried on the media to sing Lewis' praises? and he thinks that way he might recapture some sort of friendship with him?

In fact, at what would be their LAST press conference as teammates in Abu Dabhi, Lewis started reminiscing about their relationship and Nico was LEGIT nearly crying????

They are, apparently, according to gossip girl (Max), still till this day: neighbors.

But Nico has said on the media that Lewis doesn't have his number anymore after being asked if Lewis was going to call him to congratulate his Extreme E team on winning the Extreme E championship over Lewis' own team.

Last year Lewis ducked away from Nico, as Nico was presenting on SkySports before a race leaving Nico to be like "here comes Hamilton and here goes Hamilton".

OKay now a list of things that i think are funny but I don't have time to explain:

Crofty's commentary during the 2021 Hungarian GP "“this man knows lewis hamilton friend, teammate, childhood buddy, rival, everything bar lover quite frankly” and most importantly Nico's absolute dead silence afterward.

The Time Nico Used a Sponsor Event As A Therapy Session And Talked About Him And Lewis

Awkwardly Meeting

This Old Picture Of Them

Yacht Gate. Yeah.

This Meme

This Gifset

Again, this is NOT a complete timeline of events.

Anyways hope this helped even though I think it maybe didn't.

Nico if you're reading this, please...go to therapy...we support you...it's time to let go.

Lewis if you're reading this #godbless #amen

Edit: sorry I got some things wrong at first, such as the timeline of Nico going 2 Merc/forgot completely that he had been at Williams first

[smoll-tangerine]

hi nini! first of all, congratulations on your one year tumblr writing anniversary!! you are one of the best, if not, the best writer on here and i'm so thankful for your masterpieces and will continue to support your future writings always ♡♡ for your special event i would like to request: jeno, 7. enemies-to-lovers!au & 18. "i'm not jealous" (how cliche i knowww but i trust you will execute this in a way that will leave me speechless)!!

[a/n] OMG HI LOVE. i haven't heard from you for a while, i hope you're doing well! thank you so much for your continuous support, i don't think i would be where i am today without it! ♡♡ i hope you enjoy this small scenario that i've written!

PAIRING. prince!jeno x princess!reader GENRES. romance if you squint your eyes, enemies-to-lovers!au, arranged marriage!au PROMPT. "i'm not jealous" WORDS. 852

It was tradition for all past crown princes and princesses to have a ball hosted in their honour for their 20th birthday, to signify the official start for the search for their significant other.

In short, it was a ball to find your future husband.

As the crown princess and future queen of the kingdom of Xerin, you had been taught since a young age that it was something that was inevitable. You had to do it because it was part of your duties.

However, unlike what many might think, you didn’t hate this tradition.

Or at least, not as much as your predecessors did.

Your mother, who was the current queen, found your father the same way, and they fell in love. They had a love so strong and beautiful that it made you wish that you had something similar to what they have, or at least an ounce of what they have.

You once believed that the tradition wouldn’t be necessary as you already had someone in mind in regards to who you wanted to be your future spouse.

You stole a glance over at Prince Jeno, one of the oldest princes from the Dream kingdom. He was the one you had in mind as the two of you were once as close as your parents were. But something shifted in your relationship’s dynamics, one that you couldn’t understand and still couldn’t comprehend today. Ever since then, you two hadn’t had a civil conversation.

Even though it was a ball in your honour, you couldn’t help but feel the loneliness creeping up on you as the only birthday wish you had for the longest time was for Jeno to simply look at you again.

“May I have this dance, your Highness?”

You broke out of your reverie to only see Prince Haechan extending a hand for you. Your lips pursed in apprehension — you weren’t really in a mood to socialize even though it was your birthday party.

But a nudge on the part of your mother forced a smile upon your face and to nod reluctantly at Haechan’s request.

You and Haechan barely danced for half of the song when someone suddenly barged in between the two of you.

“Prince Haechan, mind if I cut in?”

Your eyes widened in surprise as Jeno glared at his cousin. They then went back-and-forth between Haechan and Jeno’s extending hand. However, you also didn’t miss the small smirk that appeared on the former’s face as he accepted Jeno’s request.

“Of course not.”

You curtsied just the slightest at Jeno’s small bow as the music restarted for a new dance. Jeno’s hand tightened around your hand and waist whereas his face remained as stoic as ever. You frowned in response, not liking his attitude one bit.

“That wasn’t very polite of you,” you muttered through gritted teeth as you two waltzed. “Not to mention how you basically ignored royal protocol.”

Jeno scoffed. “Since when do we have a royal protocol when it comes to waltzing?”

You were slightly taken aback. “Since you asked to waltz with the princess that’s about to get married off to some random dude, then yeah, there’s a royal protocol, alright.”

Jeno’s expression hardened at your words, almost as if he was angry at the thought of it — but that was impossible, right? Why would he be angry, anyway?

But he proved you wrong. “As if I’d let you marry some random guy that you don’t even like.”

“And why on Earth would you even care about who I marry?”

Jeno’s silence was deafening.

“Wait…” Your cheeks felt hot at his lack of response. “Are- are you jealous?”

The prince’s jaw slackened even more and he refused to meet your eyes as he gritted out, “I’m not jealous.”

You squeezed his hand in anger, but nothing in his expression showed that it hurt. “Fine, whatever! Let’s just pretend you’re not jealous — then how is it any of your business who I’m marrying? What if I do like Prince Haechan? Who are you to prevent me from marrying him?”

“Haechan?” Jeno snorted almost in amusement. “As if he’s your type.”

You rolled your eyes. “And because you know my type so well.”

But the look he gave you following your sentence was indescribable and almost challenging. It felt as if Jeno was able to see through you perfectly and it was a feeling that left you nervous because the last thing you wanted was for him to discover your feelings for him. You were intent on keeping your feelings locked away and bringing them with you to your grave.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

God, you simply couldn’t take this anymore. How long did the song last and why was it not over yet?

“And how exactly are you going to prevent me from getting hurt, then?” you retorted.

“By marrying me.”

You almost tripped but you took your revenge by accidentally stepping over Jeno’s feet. “Excuse me?” you spluttered.

Jeno tilted his head before giving you a smouldering smirk.

“You will be marrying me.”

[thefanficmonster]

Few Too Many

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, In-game violence and death, Suggestive comments

Genre: Protective fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous thing, especially when the jealous person is armed with a gun....in a game of Counter Strike. At least Y/N’s friend will now know not to mess around and flirt with her, especially not with Corpse around.

Requested by 🐐 Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request but here it finally is! I didn’t want to make it IRL violence to avoid triggering anyone while I also felt it’d be very ooc for Corpse to beat someone up but I still hope you enjoy the fic if you come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Hey everyone!“ Y/N greets her squad as they all customize their characters while I sit there, observing and unknowing of what I’m supposed to do. “I invited Corpse to play with us today, hope y’all don’t mind.”

“Of course not! Nice to finally meet you, Corpse. We’ve heard a ton about you from Y/N, thanks for making our girl the happiest she’s ever been.“ One of her friends says, the tone of his voice suggesting he’s only half-joking with the dad like comment he made.

“Nice to meet you too, man. Glad I’m the one she gave the chance of making her happy. That’s all I ever wanna do.“ Though it may sound cheesy, as guys, her friends can probably read into how genuinely I mean what I’ve said.

Dating a girl with only guy friends has it’s pros and cons. Which outweigh which is still up for debate since I’m still researching, but so far so good in my opinion. This is the first time I’m interacting with them directly so I’ve still got a long way to go in terms of getting to know them and the details of their relationship with Y/N better. Regardless, I at least know they can easily understand me and put themselves in my shoes if I ever ‘mess things up’ with Y/N and she goes to complain to them - something that will most likely never happen. I’d never dare make this girl upset. Chances are, if I do, her friends won’t get to me on time - I would deliver my own punishment just the way I think I deserve it. However, there’s also the chance of them getting super protective of her and ganging up on me over something as small as a fight. By the many things and stories Y/N’s shared with me about them, I believe they wouldn’t think twice about kicking someone’s ass for her. They’re not massive dudes - I’ve seen pictures of them - but I for one don’t ever wanna see em angry.

“Ay bro, what’d you do to score our best girl? You must know what she likes. If so please, by all means, do tell.“ One of them, not the one who was previously talking, speaks up, his words making me furrow my brows in both confusion and irritation.

I open my mouth to complain as I slowly start cracking my knuckles when Y/N and her friends beat me to it. Thing is, Y/N’s friend group consists of three guys and her and yet four voices scolded the guy that made that suggestive comment. That being said, this guy probably isn’t considered to be one of her friends, at least not one that’s a permanent part of her friend group.

“Seth, cut it out!“ The guy I was previously speaking to says sharply before softening his tone to refer to me, “Sorry about my brother, excuse his lack of brain cells, please.“

Just then, I also receive a message from someone. Checking my phone, turns out it’s Y/N who by the way is currently in the living room while I’m in the recording room. Her text reads:

Y/N ~ Ignore Seth. I told Leo to not invite him but he’s still here somehow

I send her back a quick reassuring text before answering the guy I now know is named Leo, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“See? The guy can take a joke, you’re all just freaking out over nothing!“ Seth laughs, reminding me and the others of how loud he is compared to us.

Despite acting like it’s no big deal, I can’t help but admit to myself that this behavior of Seth’s has awoken a deeply buried suspicion of mine that’s not only mine but also arises in every guy whose girlfriend hangs out with a lot of guys. It’s not that I don’t trust Y/N - she could literally blindfold me and tell me to walk through a pool of lava, promising it wouldn’t hurt and I’d do it - but we all know about that saying that every guy in a group with one girl has liked said girl at least once.

Disturbing to think these four, including Seth five, dudes could’ve possibly been my competition at some point. It’s nice that they’re all super chill about it, mostly cause some of them have girlfriends as I was told.

Nevertheless, we get over that hiccup and carry on with the small talk and preparations for the game. Since it’s my first time playing CSGO, Y/N, Leo and her other friend Clancy explain the mechanics to me in detail to avoid me getting confused mid-game and getting myself killed. When they finish, we start the round and wait for the game’s algorithm to separate us into two teams which Y/N jokingly refers to as cops and robbers. Unfortunately, the end result of that separation ends up being me getting put in the terrorists’ force with Leo and Clancy while Y/N’s with the FBI, partnered with Seth and her other friend Evan.

“Alright, team, we shall now disperse. Corpse, remember, if you see more than one of them, radio in and lay low, we’ll be with you as soon as possible.“ Leo informs me as he runs off in one direction, Clancy going in the opposite. I confirm I understand and go along my way too, heading for this ancient looking structure that looks like it could belong in an old-timey movie. 

Walking in, I realize the place is way bigger than it appeared on the outside. A quick look up confirms that there are three fucking floors above, not to mention that the ground floor is huge. Luckily, there are many crates and barrels to hide behind if I come across an FBI agent. I sure as hell hope it’s Y/N, I could maybe even try talking her into giving me a second chance at life and pretend she never saw me. Come to think of it though, I’d probably prefer getting killed by her rather than her friends - especially Seth.

Given that we’re in a Discord call, I can hear all the conversation going on. They are all quiet though, I can just periodically hear the mumbles of someone muttering to themselves as they navigate the map cautiously out of fear of running into their opponent unprepared. The silence is put to an end though when Seth speaks up, addressing Y/N.

“Yo, your boyfriend’s with the terrorists, ain’t he? That’s like the universe giving you a sign that y’all shouldn’t be together.“ The fucker laughs at his own joke while I can literally hear Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Have you heard of Romeo and Juliet, Seth?“ She asks sarcastically, almost getting a chuckle out of me but I suppress it to avoid getting caught listening in.

“Yeah, they both die at the end. Fucking boooriiinngg.“ Just then, I spot two silhouettes entering the building. Aiming my gun at them reveals their names - just the people I’m currently involuntarily eavesdropping on. Seth and Y/N don’t notice me though so I quickly duck behind a crate and prepare to radio in when Seth continues verbally torturing Y/N and dancing on my last nerves, “I personally think the friends-to-lovers trope is far more interesting...“

Did this guy just- no, he’s gotta be fucking kidding me

I’m left with my jaw hanging in disbelief at this guy’s audacity. I have no doubt Y/N’s about to put him in his place herself but I just gotta have my own chat with this guy. And by ‘chat’ I mean I mindlessly rush out from behind the crate towards where I saw him and Y/N and open fire on him.  I hear his startled and upset screams with Y/N’s laughter in the background. She doesn’t try to stop me as a teammate of his should and would, instead she just observes the scene unfold, laughing her ass off.

“Yo man what the fuck was that for?!“ I hear Seth’s yell but only faintly since the sound of gunshots is still echoing through my headphones. Yeah, I’m not done shooting this fucker.

“Corpse...Corpse, buddy...“ Y/N manages through fits of laughter she cannot tame, “That’s a few too many bullets, he’s already dead.”

“And that was a few too many comments for him to be let off the hook.” I answer as sharply as I can with the new-formed smile on my face. What can I say, her happiness is contagious.

“Well, you got your first kill in CSGO. Good job, babe! I’m super proud of you!” She cheers for me, clapping her hands excitedly. 

“Nah that was my first overkill.“ I quickly add, with a more threatening tone: “And it won’t be my last.”

“Let’s just hope there aren’t few too many of these overkills either.“ She snickers.

“That doesn’t depend on me, babe.“ I say smugly, suggestively enough for Seth to pick up the dropped hint. Mother fucker’s officially been put in his place and I couldn’t possibly be happier - with the added bonus of getting a ton of laughter out of Y/N who also decides to walk away, leaving me unharmed but promising to shoot to kill next time she sees me.

I’m ok with that. She could kill me anyday.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[labarch]

Witch Hats and Prejudice Part II

<-- Part I

Olruggio, my love, my man, I’m sorry your proposal to Qifrey in chapter 40 didn’t go as you hoped, let’s sit down and discuss your workaholism, temper issues and saviour complex, yes? Yes. It’s couple therapy time at last, we’ll have a look at Qifrey and Olruggio’s relationship and at chapter 40 in particular through the following points:

-Panelling in the Orufrey conversation in chapter 40

-Prejudice and power imbalance in Qifrey and Olruggio’s interactions

-Help as a collaboration between equals (spoiler: they haven’t made it to that stage yet)

-What Olruggio wants from Qifrey

 Panelling in the Orufrey conversation in chapter 40

The conversation in chapter 40 is never framed as a happy reunion. If we reuse the analysis of the panels from Coco and Qifrey’s conversation I made in my previous post, we find the same markers of unease between Olruggio and Qifrey. Most of the panels are narrow, and get darker and darker as night falls. Qifrey and Olruggio rarely share a panel, and even when they do, they rarely make direct eye contact: Qifrey looks down, or Olruggio walks away from him, or they are curled in on themselves or standing on a slope at different eye level. For a while Qifrey is up in the air and mostly talking to himself. Oh yeah, and there’s a hat that gets in the way at some point.

It gives the sense that they are having two separate conversations, and that they never truly achieve the connection that we saw between Qifrey and Coco. On top of that, while the conversation is supposed to be about comforting Qifrey and earning his trust, Olruggio never manages to get a smile out of him, except for wobbly, miserable little grimaces. So what’s going through both of their heads, and why are they failing to meet halfway?

The chapter has an outward pull to it. The scene takes place on a slope that leads away from the atelier. The chapter opens with a herd of dragons flying away and into the night. Then Qifrey takes flight to look into the distance, while giving a very contradictory speech about how fulfilling yet dull his life is here, how happy yet trapped in an illusion he feels. He has to hold on to his cape as it flaps in the wind. It brings those dragons back to mind, like they are a metaphor for the side of him that wishes to escape. Qifrey’s migration season is just starting folks, it’s a confusing time for him okay.

In contrast to Qifrey looking ahead into a dark wilderness, Olruggio in this chapter is almost always looking back. He walks away from Qifrey to talk to him over his shoulder, or he looks back towards the atelier. In the only scene where he faces Qifrey full-on, the past is so present on his mind that he de-ages them both. It’s interesting, because it adds a caveat to his pledge of listening to everything Qifrey has to say: he is not so much trying to adapt to Qifrey’s new situation as he is trying to bring them back to the childhood stage of their friendship, when they were always together and kept no secret.

This whole looking ahead / looking back dichotomy brings me back to the mentality of the Great Hall, a society obsessed with keeping itself in an insulated bubble, wrapping itself in good intentions and noble ideals, and ignoring its own inner darkness and complexity. Qifrey, because of his inability to be content and stay in place, threatens that delicate balance. That sends the other witches around him into such a state of panic and outrage that even those who genuinely love him end up lashing out at him with uncharacteristic brutality.

Prejudice and power imbalance in Qifrey and Olruggio’s interactions

I have described in my previous post how vicious and oddly personal Beldaruit got in his attacks against Qifrey in chapter 36, but you can make the same case for Olruggio, especially since the two scenes run in parallel. There is something excessive about the violence with which Olruggio confronts his friend. For one, he is choosing a hell of a time to do it: the girls are safe, there is no urgency to press Qifrey for answers right this instant – except if he is hoping to shock Qifrey into honesty while he’s disoriented. Qifrey has just woken up from a three-day coma; he is half-naked in a place Olruggio knows worsens his nightmares; his scar is exposed; he is half-blind because Olruggio has taken his glasses; Olruggio is literally an angry dark blob looming over him. I’ve often heard it say that Qifrey is manipulative towards Olruggio, but in return Olruggio isn’t above using intimidation tactics against him, consciously or not.

There is also the staggering lack of empathy of the approach: what started this whole thing is that Olruggio learnt about Qifrey’s impending blindness. And his knee-jerk reaction was to attack Qifrey about it. Like, um, my dude, your friend almost died, he is going to go blind and lose his job, you wanna try being sensitive about it? (Note that Qifrey running after the Brimhats didn’t trouble Olruggio that much at first: after his interview with the Knights Moralis he is mainly concerned with “getting his story straight with Qifrey”; it’s only later on, when we see him staring at the glasses he’s just repaired, that he starts voicing his doubts about Qifrey’s intentions). He may be right to suspect that Qifrey is hiding things from him, but there’s a pretty big leap between “you are keeping secrets” and “you are wilfully using your own child as bait”.

This whole suspicious climate, that makes Olruggio jump straight to the ugliest conclusion possible, is once again a feature of the Great Hall mentality. The mind of a person who has been in contact with forbidden magic is forever corrupt, and his actions are forever suspect. Had Qifrey been anyone else, he would probably have been given the benefit of the doubt for losing track of his students while he was, you know, extremely concussed and suffering from blood loss. Interestingly, Olruggio’s concern – whether, when faced with a chance to go after the Brimhats, Qifrey would choose his quest over his students’ safety – is addressed as early as chapter 22: after an instinctive movement to rush into danger, Qifrey pulls himself back and takes measures to keep Coco and Tetia safe, and even plans to call Olruggio and the Knights Moralis as reinforcements to help rescue the others. Then he gets hit in the head by a giant snake golem, and the rest is history.

In general, Beldaruit’s and Olruggio’s accusations that Qifrey is using Coco as bait without caring for her wellbeing just don’t hold up. First, all the attacks by the Brimhats so far have occurred in completely mundane, teaching-related settings with other adults present (at the stationary shop, or during an exam), so pushing blame onto Qifrey clearly comes from prejudice rather than evidence. Second, if Qifrey’s sole aim was to get clues on the Brimhats, he would pressure Coco into taking the Librarian test as early as possible, but we keep seeing the opposite: he encourages her to take breaks and to enjoy her training rather than be laser-focused on her goals. Hilariously, out of the two tests Coco passed so far, Qifrey gave his approval for none, thinking it was too early for her (extra-hilariously, Beldaruit is the one who speed-ran Coco through her second test). I’m just saying, if Olruggio hasn’t noticed any of this and can’t take it in consideration before bringing out the accusations and threats, maybe he’s not doing that good a job as a Watchful Eye.  

Another thing about this climate of suspicion, added to the power imbalance between Qifrey and Olruggio, is that it prevents them from having a healthy fight. Olruggio invokes his duties as Watchful Eye to berate Qifrey whenever he steps out of line, but when Olruggio lets his temper carry him too far and misuses his own power (when he drags Coco out to the Knights Moralis even though she had already been officially accepted as an apprentice in volume 2, or when he accuses Qifrey of using Coco as bait in volume 7 without proof), Qifrey never criticises him for doing so. It’s not that he is shy about speaking up to power – he is more than happy to yell at Beldaruit and Easthies when they mistreat his students. But when it comes to Olruggio, Qifrey is compelled to shoulder as much blame as he can, and seems almost afraid of saying anything negative to him.

It would have been justified for Qifrey to start chapter 40 by getting mad at Olruggio for his earlier accusations: Olruggio had been insensitive, unhelpful and completely out of line. But instead Qifrey pretty much encourages Olruggio to attack him again: from his “I thought you might be mad at me” to frantically denying that Olruggio might have ever done anything wrong. In return, there is something defensive in Olruggio’s delivery during the “I’m angry that I wasn’t someone you could trust” segment: he walks away from Qifrey as he gives the non-apology, and it comes out sandwiched between criticisms of Qifrey for being reckless and a long speech of Olruggio praising himself, and how everything would be alright if only Qifrey behaved himself and relied on him more. It’s an issue that this old distribution of roles is so well-entrenched between them, with Olruggio as the golden student and Qifrey as the eternal problem child.

Qifrey’s exaggerated gentleness and praise towards Olruggio participates in the feeling of wrongness that weighs on chapter 40. The memory erasure scene is framed like a kiss, and Qifrey keeps complimenting him even after sending him into an unnatural sleep. It would come across as condescending and manipulative, except for how fervently Qifrey seems to want to believe that Olruggio is perfect, and that any dysfunction in their relationship has to come from him.

Qifrey, focused as he is on his own dark secrets, is utterly unwilling to see any darkness in Olruggio. It makes sense when you consider that Qifrey has also been absorbing the prejudices of the Great Hall: he thinks very little of himself, and has probably been looking up to Olruggio as a moral compass ever since Olruggio took him under his wing as a child. He must also comfort himself with the thought that, when/if his quest drags him away from the atelier, Olruggio will be a perfect teacher for the girls. Having to come to terms with Olruggio’s flaws must be terrifying to him. But what about Olruggio’s perspective in all this?

Olruggio is an example of how even those who materially benefit from an elitist, close-minded society are damaged by it in some way. He grew up in the Great Hall as a bright-eyed, idealistic genius, and even as an adult he clings to the principles of that society like a mantra: “bring the blessings of magic to the people”. He is successful and respected by his peers, popular with the nobles and well-liked among the commoners. Yet somewhere along the way he became a ragged, workaholic hermit.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I suspect Olruggio of grappling with his own, deep-seated fear of being unwanted and left behind. He betrays that fear in the way he is attacking Qifrey: his concerns about Qifrey’s treatment of Coco aren’t based on evidence, and underneath that veneer he is mostly complaining that Qifrey is neglecting him. “Be straight with me”, “Don’t lie to me”, “You wouldn’t even tell me about it”, “You took her as a student without a word to me first”. There again, Olruggio is being a bit hazy on how far his influence goes as Watchful Eye: from what we know, Watchful Eyes are meant to ensure that students don’t get mistreated, but they don’t get a say in who teaches whom: it’s the disciples who choose their masters. Olruggio grumbling about Qifrey adopting more and more children behind his back is cute when we treat them as a couple. But from the perspective of their professional relationship, Olruggio is claiming the right to veto Qifrey’s students and take them away from him without any evidence of abuse.

The problem is that Olruggio is very bad at expressing his feelings without using his job, and therefore his authority, as a crutch. It’s endearing when he uses it to explain away his gifts to the girls (“I just want them to test a prototype”) or his marks of affection and care (“Drying your hair so you don’t catch a cold is part of my duties as Watchful Eye!”). However, it adds a layer of threat to his arguments with Qifrey, because he is constantly dangling that authority over his head, even when he is urging Qifrey to trust him. In his more agitated moments, it turns into a one-man good-cop / bad-cop performance (“Step out of line and I’ll report you” / “Why won’t you confide in me? I’m your best friend!”). Sure, he is willing to side with Qifrey against the Knights Moralis when he deems it appropriate, but here’s the catch: Olruggio gets to decide where the line in the sand lies, and that line seems to shift depending on how hot his temper is flaring at any given time.

It’s no wonder their conversation lends them in a dead-end when it is so one-sided. Thourghout the manga, and in volume 8 in particular, the author explores the idea that help should be a collaborative effort between equals, that encourages both parties to grow and learn more about themselves. Trying to unilaterally “save” someone is almost guaranteed to miss the mark and come across as condescending; it might even cause further harm.

Help as a collaboration between equals

Therefore, Qifrey and Olruggio can’t really come to any connection unless they make it clear that they are helping each other, not just endlessly acting out their roles as the golden student who knows all the right answers, and the problem child who must be saved from himself.

Aside from the framing, help as an equivalent exchange is the other key difference between chapter 40 and Qifrey and Coco’s dialogue earlier in the volume. In order to counter Coco’s doubts and growing self-hatred, Qifrey reinforces everything he admires about Coco: from her social skills and capacity for teamwork to her practical skills and her straight lines. He reminds her of all the things that she achieved so far. He also strongly hints that her fight is his fight, too, and that they should hold onto hope for each other’s sake. Finally, he makes a (pretty dramatic, unnecessarily literal and definitely unsafe, but still awesome) leap of faith by letting her decide what direction she wants to take next. His support isn’t conditional on Coco making the “right” choice, but freely offered. In return, Coco makes a display of saving Qifrey as well, saying she wants him right by her side while she figures out her path. The rescue itself is symbolic (it would actually have been safer for Qifrey to go back on his own), but Qifrey’s gratitude is genuine, because Coco made him feel valued, irreplaceable, just as Beldaruit and Olruggio were making him doubt his place as a teacher.

By contrast, Olruggio’s speech of friendship contains a grand total of ONE compliment, served in such a back-handed way that it sounds almost like a warning: “To Coco, you are a good teacher, so don’t betray that trust”. This is weighted against a slurry of criticisms about Qifrey’s recklessness, and heaps of self-praise. Olruggio is making a case for why Qifrey needs help and why Olruggio is best-qualified to deliver that help, like he is making a sales pitch to a client. It’s probably not a coincidence that Olruggio is remembering his successful bout of diplomacy in chapter 39 as he gears himself for his conversation with Qifrey. Olruggio, look, I get that you have more faith in your professional persona than in your regular self, but you can’t talk to your best friend like you are doing customer service, it just doesn’t work that way.

The help that Olruggio offers leaves no room for Qifrey’s input: once Qifrey has confided everything and laid himself bare, Olruggio will pick apart “where he needs the help” and “when he is about to do something stupid”, and either support or stop him as he judges appropriate. It reinforces Qifrey’s inferiority complex and interiorised guilt, by implying that his moral compass can’t be trusted. It also places the blame for Qifrey’s rash actions solely on his lack of judgement, rather than on having to grapple with complex, life-threatening situations and being caught in a pincer between a terrorist group and an oppressive system. There’s no mention that the definition of what’s “lawful” and “responsible” and “just” has gotten a bit messed up lately, and that Olruggio himself has had to compromise with his duties to cover for the kids. Olruggio fakes confidence in his capacity to fix everything, and pretends that things can go back to the way they were, but it would have been more honest of him to ask Qifrey to work with him so they can form a united front to face their new, complex reality.

Instead, by claiming that he is helping Qifrey out of a sense of duty, as Watchful Eye and as a friend, Olruggio reinforces the feeling that Qifrey is a burden to him. This gives Qifrey more incentive to keep his friend away from his investigations, and to see himself as expendable. In that light, since their friendship brings Olruggio so much trouble and so few benefits, betraying him and stealing the memories that relate to Qifrey’s secrets start to look like the lesser evil.

The only way that the conversation in chapter 40 could have gone well is if they both freely admitted to needing each other. However, it is too early in Olruggio’s character arc to be honest about his own feelings and worries. And it is too early in Qifrey’s character arc to see past his own self-loathing and recognize that his “perfect” friend also needs support and guidance. Yet, when they do, it is hinted that Olruggio can draw inspiration from Qifrey, and help Qifrey in a more meaningful way by highlighting how Qifrey matters to him, letting them reach this stage of true collaboration.

What Olruggio wants from Qifrey

I think Olruggio is repressing a sense of disillusionment about his work, the fairness of the system, and his usefulness as a witch. We see glimpses of his anxiety in chapter 39 notably. While he says that his true role is to help the commoners, circumstances keep reminding him that like it or not, his main function is decorative. He gets dragged in on short notice to be yanked around by petty nobles and arrange light shows at weddings; he has to act in secret to help the destitute, and even then can only do so much before the rules of magic society get in his way. So far he manages to keep his head above water, using his talent for diplomacy and showmanship to keep the nobles appeased, and finding small, creative ways to help commoners without breaking any law. But it leaves him with the feeling of being trapped in an increasingly constraining role, and is slowly pushing him towards a burn out.

He seems to feel a kinship with princess Mia, who like him is used as a tool in petty squabbles between nobles. He even metaphorically puts himself in her shoes: after likening her situation to being trapped in the spotlight in a dance she doesn’t want, he applies the same metaphor to himself and his inability to act outside the narrow constraints of witch rules, of being constantly watched and judged. And then, adorably enough, Olruggio actually brings Qifrey into the metaphor. He muses that Qifrey, who has gone against established rules before, might be the key to escaping that dance.

For all that the “problem child” / “star student” dichotomy has been weighing on Olruggio and Qifrey and warping their friendship, there is a flip side to it as well. As a prodigy who always pressures himself to perform perfectly (to the point where he will work himself to a zombie-like state and then hide behind a mask to look perfect and pristine in front of his clients at parties, Olruggio no), Qifrey provides a chance at escapism. For all that he berates him for causing trouble, Olruggio seems to fondly remember their old adventures. It’s possible that he valued the opportunity to do rebellious, forbidden things without having to jeopardise his reputation. His fear of being left behind by Qifrey is then also a fear of losing his hope that, when the pressure of being the perfect witch becomes too much to bear, Qifrey will be there to break him free.

In summary, Olruggio wants Qifrey to be his rebellious prince who breaks him free from the ballroom, and we respect him for it. Qifrey had his reasons for not being able to confide in him, and they both have a lot of character development to do before they can reach a stage of actual collaboration and trust. But I don’t dispute that taking his memories was a dick move. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.  

[the-wee-woo-royal]

Love Is...

This is for @renegades-ship-weeks week 4 / Macker - Coming out

Its late but we're just gonna ignore that and celebrate that I WROTE SOMETHING! AND ITS NOT DEPRESSING!!! WOOO

May the gay be good <3

Tagging (dm or comment to be added/removed): @obsidianfr3sk @greenalmond @galaxy-creationz @healing-winston-pratt

He’d been surrounded by gay people his whole life. 

It was as natural to him as seeing a straight relationship. 

Back in the glass room Max called home for 10 years, it's no surprise he’d people-watch.

He’d watch how comfortable everyone seemed to be with expressing themselves. 

He’d watch the confidence with every move, the words never stuttered.

And in the face of deep hatred, not a trace of fear.  

It may have been that the only LGBTQ+ people he knew then were the most confident beings alive, being his dads, all of Team Sketch, and one of his caretakers.

Or maybe it’s something that came with time. 

Was 17 years not enough time?

He just couldn’t understand why he was different. He knew he was gay when he discovered what love really was, it was never girls. Ever. He was a Renegade. An Everhart-Westwood. Confident with almost everything he does.

Everything except admitting he was gay.

Max owned it to himself and himself only. Yeah, he saw a hot dude (one in particular) and was reminded why he was very not straight. 

But even to his family, who he was close with and knew would accept him. They werent homophobic at all and the big fact that his dads were also gay.

There was no reason not to at least let people, especially his family, know. Max hated the “girlfriend” assumptions. 

All he needed to say was two words to stop them. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

May 24th - Max: age 17

Many talked about love as something obtained, like a toy that can be played with wherever then forgotten and deserted just as fast. Not as something that was to be respected. 

Those people didn’t appreciate love for what it really was. 

It was different for everyone, but when the heart truly sets its course… you just know.

To Max, love is showing his new and improved glass city to one of his best friends, letting them marvel at his (and Adrian’s) work. 

Love is finally eating a family dinner his Dad’s had made. Not anything special. Just togetherness. 

Love is seeing the flag so despised, celebrated, cherished and loved by a mass of people. 

Love is the boy he’d seen as a friend, then become more in his heart just by existing. 

Jade Tucker

His silliness and carefree attitude was often seen as trouble, but to Max it was that exact fire he’d grown to love. 

Just thinking about him made Max smile at random. With every passing day those thoughts became more and more frequent. Until he couldn’t put it off anymore. 

He had a crushed on Jade Tucker

‘Loved’ right now was possibly a little far-fetched… but not by a lot. 

This time… Max was going to do something about it. He knew deep inside that this crush was worth chasing. 

So he did. 

It's been 4 months since he and Jade made it official. Very few friends knew. Jade was very PDA orientated but respected Max’s wish to keep it to a low place with many people. It's not like Max didn't want to but he was constantly being watched and didn’t want the secret to spill before he had a chance to tell people himself. 

Even then, the want to scream it from the top of the Renegade Tower was growing everyday. But his own self-consciousness kept him back.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

May 30th 

Everyone talks about how their ‘coming out’ talk ended, either in good spirit or bad.

No one ever tells the part on how to start the conversation. 

How do you even bring it up?

“I’m gay and am dating one of my best friends!” seems real tempting, but doesnt seem the best outright. 

Max thought about this for six days, what he’d say and advice on how to properly ask someone out, yet standing right beside the doorway of his dad’s office, he couldn’t recall one thing.

He’d gone in confident, but one he saw the door already open he just passed it and rested on the wall beside. 

Part of his plan was knocking. Now that he couldn’t, the rest of his plan just went poof your on your own!

And he couldn’t pass it again to leave otherwise one of them would see and know something was up. 

“I’m gay and am dating one of my best friends!” Was really tempting. 

He was just gonna wing it. 

Max took a breath and entered the doorway. 

The home office was a large room, since it was shared between both councilmen. Adrian once said that they used to have their own offices in the smaller rooms downstairs but they often needed each other’s opinion or double-approval and this room was closer to the rest of their common living space. Made them feel closer to the kids. 

But deep down both brother’s knew they just missed each other throughout the workday and would find any excuse to linger around the other at home. 

Love is missing the sight and presence of your partner, even just a door down. 

He didn’t linger for long before his dad, Hugh, asked him what he needed. Not in a mean ask so you can leave and I can work away, unlike a lot of other parents he’d seen, neither of them were like that. It was simply asking so I can help you, as my child, in any way I can. 

Max felt like he wanted to cry. Not out of sadness or fear. It was all overwhelming to him. 

Nothing was going to plan.

“I.. umm… kinda need to- well? No, I want…. To tell you something… important.” He’d tried to say it with confidence like on TV, but it came out shaky and the urge to cry was choking him up.

It had caught the attention of his Pops, Simon, who started to look worried. His Dad nodded and gestured to him to take a seat on one of the chairs in front of him. Pops stood and pulled the chair from his desk over, next to him as he sat. 

He looked at both his dads who are studying him, waiting for him to talk. Max knew they knew he was scared shit-less. They wouldn’t press or tell him to spit it out. 

Max stared at his hands in his lap, shaking, “Well, uhhhh-” his brain was failing and he could feel his eyes watering, “I just- umm, I-” his throat was closing and the tears started to flow. 

He sniffed a few times and that caused his parents to go into dad-mode. 

Pops put an arm around him, pulling him close and used his other hand to cover Max’s, trying to stop the shaking. Placing a kiss on his head, he tried to comfort him, “Hey, hey, It's ok… ok? Take your time, love. We aren’t going anywhere.” 

Dad had moved from the other side of the desk to kneel in front of him. With one hand resting on his and Pops, he reached the other to cup his cheek, wiping the falling tears. Dad tilted Max’s head up just a bit to make eye contact, “You are my son. I love you, we both love you. Nothing you say will ever change that.” There was a slight smile on his lips, “You could decide to become a bum living in our basement forever or even convert to Anarchism, annf still nothing will change that.”

Simon piped up with a snort, “wait a second, Anarchism… maybe. As long as you have a cool name and costume. We raised you to have taste. Now living in our basement forever?? Sorry but your dad and I want some nice alone time when we retire.” He clicked his tongue, “But even then yeah… I guess I'd still love you with everything in my heart. But you’d be on thin ice.” He finished with faux irritation and grumbling that made Max laugh and wonder why he’d been so scared in the first place. If anyone could cut tension, it was his Pops.

Ah fuck it. It was the first thought for a reason.

“I’m gay and am dating one of my best friends!” He didn’t know where the sudden confidence came from. But there wasn’t a stutter or waiver of his voice that hinted to any unease.

Both his parents were stunned for a moment before Pop’s sent Dad a quick cocky smile, a silent message. A taunt.

At that moment Max was sure that this… was hardly a surprise. 

Pops squeezed his shoulder, “That was very brave of you. I'm glad you felt you could tell us.” 

Max wiped the last few remaining tears, “You knew, didn’t you?” 

“Kind of, one can never be too sure on someone else’s sexuality. Your Dad, however, has an awful gaydar.”

Dad snorted, standing, “Lapse of judgment,” he smiled slyly, leaning against his desk, “so… dating and boys?”

The blood rushed to Max’s face, lighting his face of fire, “Stop there. Just… no.” 

“Do you need help?! I have many cute date ideas for you and Jade. ” Pops looked and sounded very happy at the mere beginnings of his son’s budding romance, which was good, in a way. It was a bit surprising that Pops knew it was Jade, but then again it was Pops. 

He knew all. 

“NO!” Max answered quickly. The last he needed was his parents involved in his love life. Dad was dense and straight-forward and Pops could be a little much sometimes. 

It fit their relationship dynamic, but Max was more on the lowkey side of things. 

Pops deflated, “Ok… but I'm here if you need any advice.”

Dad rolled his eyes at Pops but nodded in agreement.

Well, Jade has talked about progressing their relationship after he told his Dad’s. Maybe more public dates. WIth his Dads now knowing, there was no need to hide much anymore. ANd confidence comes with practice. 

Max huffed, not believing he was asking this, “Actually, can we come with you to Pride in a few days. Tickets kinda sold out before we thought to buy them and well, you kinda run it and get in for free, so ....” 

Hugh snorted, “We don’t get in for free, we still pay and donate to every organization there.”

Max sighed, “That's a choice. You could get in for free, you just choose not to.”

Max put on his most charming smile as both his parents did what they do best.

Embarrassed him. 

“Simon! Do you hear this?!?!” His Dad reached a hand out to his husband, “Already taking advantage of his poor compassionate parents to impress a boy!! Like a leech!” 

Was it too late to put himself up for adoption… again?

Simon took the hand and theatrically fell into Hugh's chest, like he was dying, “ Oh, husband of mine, we are too kind and good and thoughtful…”

Out of anyone who would have found him in that river…. 

“And handsome and generous not too.  He wants to seem cool and hip to his boyfriend!! Little does he know that it's us! WE are the cool ones!” 

Or even better! Let him drown. Anything was better than this. 

Hugh nodded like he heard the wisest, mind blowing thing ever, “And we will never get the credit, will we.” 

Pops shook his head solemnly.

Max groaned and buried his face in his hands, “Is that a yes?”

Hugh nodded with a big smile as Pops laughed, ruffling Max’s hair. 

Max stood to leave but was interrupted by his Dad, “Hey, Max?”

He turned back around and met his eyes, “We’re proud of you, you know.”

His heart burst in his chest at the words, an instant smile forming on his face, “Thank You.”

His Dads shared a quick look, “There's no need for any ‘thanks’. It's our job, that we do with pride, to love you, in any and every situation,” Dad finished as Pops crossed the short distance and kissed him on his forehead, “Now, go kiss your boyfriend a lot and tell him that he won’t outdress me at Pride this year. I've stepped up my game.” 

Was that… possible. Dad was already very… out there. THERE'S MORE THAT CAN BE DONE?!

Max left the room in way better spirits than when he entered it. Nothing went to plan but that made it all the better. It was just his and his Dad’s raw emotion. 

He didn’t realize this before but it finally was clear. 

He didn’t need unbreakable confidence to be openly gay. All it really took was his feelings and a few people in his corner telling him to kiss his boyfriend. 

.

.

.

There will be a part 2 (dont ask when idk) of some Max and Jade time and to close up a few things I left hanging on purpose (small things but still). 

I hope you all liked it!!! I love everyone of you who read it.

Enjoy the rest of pride month and be proud!!

[lubdubsworld]

Change of heart (Chapter 7)

Chapter 1   Chapter 2    Chapter 3     Chapter 4     Chapter 5   Chapter 6

Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.

: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.

Chapter 7

The incessant buzzing of his phone was what woke Taehyung up, his entire body aching something fierce. 

He groaned , spitting  what felt like damp hair out of his mouth, blinking against the shaft of sunlight pouring into the room through the slats of the large windows . His bedroom faced the river, and every morning the sun spilled right into his bed , lighting the room up . He loved waking up to warmth and sometimes it made up for the absence of a warm body next to him on the bed. 

But today, with her wrapped around him, he hated the intrusion....wanted nothing more than to burrow into the bed and stay there for the rest of the year. 

It took him a second to realize that Mirae was lying on top of him and he was still, technically inside her. He had been so completely gone the previous night that he could barely remember a thing. 

Other than the fact that he hadn’t had sex that good in his life. Ever. 

Cupping the back of her head gently and wrapping one arm around her waist, he carefully rolled over, laying her gently on the bed next to him. She whimpered when he slid out of her and he winced when a rush of fluids spilled out of her, drenching his thighs and the sheets. 

Bits of the night began to come back to him then. 

Vague memories of fucking her to within an inch of her life. 

Guilt began to coil around his insides as he pushed the hair of her face. She looked like she had been mauled by an animal. Hickeys bloomed all over her neck, her jaw and even on the fleshy curve of her cheeks. Her hair looked matted with sweat and damp and cum . He had a mental image of her then, weakly crawling away when he tried to push into her for the fifth time, and she had been too sore to take him , begging him to let her suck him off  instead  and he flinched when he remembered holding her down against the pillow and fucking her mouth.

He’d managed to keep his knot out of her mouth, but he’d also had a really fierce orgasm, and his release had pretty much ended up all over her. 

His phone was still ringing and he reached across the bed to grab it, answering the call before checking who it was.

“Taehyung...are you alright?” It’s Dr. Lee and Taehyung blinks, surprised.

“Oh..yes. Dr. Lee , is everything okay?”

“I was only calling to check up on you. My sister told me that you were taking Ms. Yoon home and it made me wonder. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, doc. In fact better than fine. My head is surprisingly clear. I was fully prepared for this thing to last like a week but I feel normal already.”

Dr. Lee laughed. 

“Perks of  biting your actual mate and not an impostor. How is she, by the way?”

Taehyung relaxed a bit, staring at the girl in his bed. He gently stroked the hair off her face, running the back of his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheeks. 

“She’s ... fine.” He said roughly, “ Or as fine as you’d expect her to be.” He added as an afterthought, remembering that she had tried to get up from the bed for a drink of water and her legs had given out almost at once.

“And the mating mark? Did you dress it up like I told you?”

“Yes... It wasn’t that deep but you should probably drop by tomorrow and take a look at it anyway. “ An incessant beeping told him he was getting another call and he quickly apologized and hung up on the doctor  taking the other call.

“Tae, the shipment isn’t here on time. We’ve been trying to find the CI who gave us the info and the fucker seems to have run aground. Either that or Yoon’s men got to him.... “ Seokjin’s voice trembled with frustration and anger.

“Oh...fuck hyung that’s bad. Okay, what does Namjoon think? “

“Namjoon says that we should go ahead with drilling that dude we caught during the raid last week, Jaehyun or whatever. He thinks he may have some clue because he was fucking one of the bigger suppliers’ daughter.” 

Taehyung groaned.

“What about the reports from the lab? Did they test positive for any other controlled substance? I know we’ve only focused on a couple of them ...I don’t want to be blindsided by anything. “

“That scientist dude is a pain in the ass, refuses to talk to anyone but you and definitely only in person. “ Seokjin scoffed.

“That’s fine.. I’ll be there in an hour. “ Taehyung said sharply.

Seokjin made a noise of disapproval.

“What? Namjoon told me you were with your mate.... You’re going to leave her?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at that. 

“She’s not my actual mate hyung. As in... what we have isn’t like official or anything. She agreed to it because I asked her to help me out and she knows that this isn’t anything more than a business arrangement. I didn’t even want to do it but...sometimes you do things for the greater good....” 

He moved to get up out of the bed , levering himself up to stand. He felt better than he had in weeks, his body thrumming with vitality and his mind sharp and clear. 

“She’s human right? Is she actually okay?” 

Taehyung scoffed at the implication . 

“I’m not leaving her bleeding and unconscious, if that's’ what you’re wondering. I bought a bunch of pain stuff for her.... the kind humans use.” He felt that pang of disappointment again. 

She was incredible....beautiful and kind and full of heart, yeah but the fact that she was a human was ...... It was just cruel to her. 

. He had spouted some nonsense to her about wanting to do this everyday for the rest of their life but nothing could be farther from the truth than that.   The idea of having to handle his bedmate with kid gloves made him jittery and nervous. 

She was so fucking fragile and he had struggled so hard last night, holding back, over and over again and she had still come out of it completely wrecked.

If she were a wolf, she’d be perfectly fine by now. Healed and happy and probably even up for some morning sex.

And yes the last bit made him sound like a horny bastard but come on, he was a healthy young wolf and an Alpha at that and his libido had always been on the higher side.

He shook his head as though to clear the way his thoughts were heading. It was ridiculous that he was even thinking about this. It was over. He had claimed her. She was his. His wolf was calm now. He could go about his life without having to worry about going into rut or losing his mind at the thought of another wolf near her. 

And he would not feel guilty about it. 

there was something called the greater good. In the grand scheme of things, one night of discomfort would not cost her anything. But what he was doing was going to change the world for his people. 

Seokjin’s voice filtered in through his thoughts. 

“At least tell her before you leave, Taehyung. You’re literally the kind of bastard who would do something as insensitive as leave her after you mated her and then act like you did nothing wrong. ” 

Annoyed , Taehyung hung up without replying.

Glancing at her, he moved to touch her cheeks again. She was asleep. Sound asleep by the look of it. It would be far more insensitive to wake her up. He would go and meet the guy about the lab results and get back here before she was up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ow.” 

 I groaned , muffling my agony against the white sheets as I tried to will myself to get up. Breathe through the pain, I told myself firmly. You do not want to spend the entire day like this. You need a shower, stat. 

 “Taehyung?” I called out weakly, for what felt like the tenth time. But the eerie stillness in the room told me I was alone in the apartment.

 I fumbled with my phone, fighting the urge to call him. If he had left, there had to have been a reason , a reason important enough for him to leave and it struck me again that I had been a little hasty, agreeing to this. 

Fueled entirely by my wish to get rid of the excess amount of cum all over me., I dug both my elbows into the bed, lifting my self up to my hand and knees. The pain radiating from my spine, settling deep in my center and the harsh abrasions on my insides.....all of it was a reminder that I had definitely bitten off more than I could chew. 

The first thing I did was grab the pain killers on the table, popping three of them into my mouth and dry swallowing. It was a little past eleven in the morning and I was starving. But I had to get a shower first. 

The trip to the bathroom was an ordeal and I had to fight tears, just to stand. 

Okay. Maybe a bath was in order than. 

I fumbled with the taps, watching warm water fill the ceramic tub, sweating a bit in the humid room. I glanced at my thighs, lightly stroking the bruises and watching them bloom purple under my fingertips. 

The pain was already ebbing, the tablets doing their thing and with my head a little clearer, my thoughts felt heavy. Regret churned, curdling in my gut and I could taste heartbreak on my tongue. 

Sleeping with him had been a mistake. 

A colossal fucking mistake, I thought desperately. I was already feeling abandoned and miserable. I wanted to throw on some clothes and go find him in his office . Wanted to curl into his lap and then refuse to leave. 

But mostly I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way. 

Taehyung wasn’t ..... available for any kind of relationship.

 He was an Alpha werewolf and important man. 

An important bureaucrat. Someone with power and responsibility. A man driven by his need to protect his kind and destroy anyone who meant him harm.  

A man who would do anything to get his way , even if it meant seducing a human he didn’t even like. 

And he had seduced me I thought , feeling unaccountably upset at myself. 

In the  vivid light of day, with my body aching so fierce and my head spinning , I could remember everything that happened the previous day with a sort of vivid clarity. And it was almost an out of body experience, like watching the whole thing happen to someone else. 

The way he had framed his words, the soothing comfort, the reassurances. That stupid fucking dance in the living room with the most cliché song in the world, it was like something straight out of a chick-lit novel. Something only a naïve, immature , desperate woman would fall for. 

What a cruel heartless bastard, I thought angrily. There was no way he didn’t know the effect of his words and actions on me. There was no way he didn’t know that he was purposely playing the part of a loving partner just to break down any defenses I may have put up. 

And like an idiot I had fallen for it. 

Staring around at the apartment and realizing he had just left me to fend for myself, without so much as a note....... After spouting all that nonsense about making sure I was comfortable. 

And I realized with a jolt that he really only meant it for the sex. All that affection, all that concern had been just for the few hours he had me in his bed. When he meant he wanted to make me feel me meant it only for when we were having sex. 

Now that he had got what he wanted , he was back to being the guy he actually was. 

A complete stranger. 

It made me  feel so incredibly foolish . 

Wetness spilled onto my foot and I realized the tub was overflowing. I closed the taps quickly before pulling the drain to lower the water level a bit. 

Climbing in, I settled back against the hard edge of the tub, letting my eyes flutter shut as the warm water soothed my sore muscles. 

“You’re up?” 

Jungkook’s voice startled me, and I nearly went under.

“Careful.” Fingers gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to stability and I gasped out, running a hand over my face to get rid of the water. 

“You... Where did you come from?” I stared at him , gripping the edges of the tub and watching him.

Jungkook looked like a breath of fresh air, hair slightly damp and clad in a white t shirt and blue jeans. He was grimacing a bit, eyebrows furrowed in evident annoyance.

“This entire room reeks.” He complained, turning on the ventilator in the corner of the bathroom. 

I groaned, settling back and just staring at him as he rummaged in the cupboard, pulling out a few bottles, a fresh wash clothe and bottle of body wash. 

My body hummed in delight at the thought of actually being cared for. 

“I’m not even kidding, is this what having a mate is like? You look like you were in a fight with a thorny hedgerow.” He commented, making his way over , but not before stripping out of his shirt and wiggling out of his jeans. 

I hummed, enjoying the view for a second as he finally settled on a small ottoman, right next to the tub. 

I gave him a sweet smile.

“Why are you here?” I whispered. He reached over to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Hyung told me to come. He got caught up with work and he feels bad about leaving you here all by yourself.” 

“Kim Taehyung....told you to come take care of me. Sounds fake but okay.” 

Jungkook laughed.

“To be fair he actually told your brother. But Yugyeom’s busy and he also doesn’t want to see you naked and so he gave me a call.” Jungkook carefully squeezed a dollop of body wash onto the cloth, before gently smoothing the soft linen against my skin. His gaze held mine as he carefully lathered up my shoulders, my collarbones and the curve of my neck. He took care not to touch the dressing on my neck, where Taehyung had bitten me. 

I smiled when one finger stretched out, tracing circles on my skin . Jungkook was too young to be subtle , and I felt a pang of guilt when I saw the very obvious look in his eye.

 Arousal looked so blatant on his handsome face, lips parted, slicked wet. Eyes heavy and intent as he gently rubbed the skin near my throat, thumb now curving around my neck , gently pressing in. 

His gaze met mine and I held it, feeling his hands move lower, fingers curling lightly on the curve of my breasts. When I felt the brush of his thumb on the hard peak of my nipple, I grabbed his wrist.

Tugging his hand away gently, I used my free hand to lightly flick his forehead.

“Behave.” I warned. 

His gaze turned pouty and he let out a breathy, “ Just wanted to make you feel good noona.” 

“You made me feel a billion times better just by showing up here today. But, I don’t want you to get mauled by Taehyung in case he’s feeling territorial again.  ”   I smiled, shaking my head. “ I’ll take it from here. Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom and I’ll call you when I’m done so you can help me out. of the tub.”

Which in itself , probably wouldn’t be necessary. The pills had done their trick and other than feeling well fucked, I didn’t particularly hurt. 

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Jungkook’s voice was petulant , eyes clearly showing how upset he was. He moved back a bit but made no other attempt to leave.

“I thought you liked him.” I chuckled lightly as he carefully arranged the body wash and the washcloths near the tub. I reached for it myself, carefully scrubbing over my skin, for now ignoring the way Jungkook kept his eyes trained on my body as I pulled my legs up to wash them. It was odd, how little his gaze affected me compared to how my body had reacted to Taehyung last night. 

With Jungkook it was...just physical. 

I liked being touched , so I enjoyed sex with Jungkook. 

With Taehyung it had been something so much more.

The very idea of Taehyung touching me, the idea of him wanting to touch me..that had been so overwhelming. 

And so sex with Taehyung had blown my mind. 

“What do you mean, like him? “ Jungkook frowned. 

“It was always Tae hyung, this and Tae hyung that...” I teased. “ You were never subtle about your little man crush on him.” 

I carefully grabbed the showerhead, wetting my hair gently. 

Jungkook scoffed.

“Of course I like him. You can’t be a wolf and not like Kim Taehyung. He’s done so much for us.” He grabbed the shampoo off the counter but before I could take it from him, he squeezed a bit of it into his palms and sank his fingers into my hair.

“Let me do this for you, noona.,” He muttered , voice deep and soothing and I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped, his fingers feeling like heaven as they carefully lathered up the damp strands, massaging my scalp till my eyes fluttered shut.

“Taehyung has things he needs to do and ...well, I agreed to this just so he could avoid any distractions.” I said gently, reaching out and lightly touching his arm.

“That doesn’t give him the right to hurt you though. “ 

I laughed despite myself.

“Why do you think he hurt me?” 

Jungkook stopped his ministrations.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” 

I felt my breath catch at that. This thing with Jungkook, it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing where I felt comfortable enough sharing my feelings for someone else with him. I felt awful, embarrassed and annoyed that  something I hadn’t even fully known myself was , apparently obvious to the world.  . 

Embarrassed because it would never be reciprocated. 

Annoyed because I should have nipped this thing in the bud. 

But I couldn’t talk about this now. 

“It’s not... “ I hesitated. “ It’s not going to be a problem. For me. I’m going to fix it. “  The dull throb of the bite on my neck mocked me, even as I said it. I had agreed to something momentous , something that carried a lot of consequences behind it, and I had done it on a whim. 

Taehyung with his honey dripping tongue and gentle but firm hands had made me dance to his tune so perfectly. But now that the act was over, I was definitely in danger of drowning. 

“ So, you’re just going to hang around while he does his own thing.” Jungkook frowned.

“Actually she’s free to walk out anytime she likes.”

Taehyung’s voice broke through the bathroom like a clanging cymbal and I jerked out of the tub in shock.

Jungkook startled too, eyes going wide as he scrambled to his feet. 

Taehyung looked like he had stepped right out of a magazine. 

He was wearing a perfectly pressed pinstriped white button down and teal green slacks , a slim patterned tie , in hues of green and red, perfectly knotted at the base of his throat and  he also had on a waistcoat, fitting him like a glove, setting off his broad shoulders and trim waist. 

He had his hair styled into a perfect  part, the thick silky locks arching into perfect side bangs that fell into his eyes.

Eyes that held a whole lot of fury as they took in the sight of me, naked in his tub while an almost naked Jungkook had his fingers buried in my hair. 

“I thought you would still be sore from last night....but I suppose that isn’t true, if you felt the need to call for your fuck buddy so soon?” He drawled casually. 

I felt anger swell inside me.

“ Jungkook was kind enough to help me out because I couldn’t even move.” I gritted out. 

“A feat that required him to strip to his boxers?” 

“Hyung, just chill. If I fucked her you would be able to smell it. “ Jungkook snapped, moving to shrug his clothes back on. 

Taehyung ignored him , grabbing a pair of fluffy white towels from the linen closet.

He gave me a look.

“You done?” He asked shortly. 

And somehow, its the sheer disinterest in his tone, the gaze that may as well be directed at a stranger on the fucking road..... That is what really  stings.

I felt like the entire weight of every bad decision I had ever made in my life had just dropped on my head. Almost sagging from the sheer hurt permeating my entire body, I grabbed the edge of the tub and levered myself up, not even bothered that I was completely naked. 

I stepped right out of the tub, completely ignoring the way my limbs practically screamed in protest at the movement. 

I held my hand out for the towel, completely ignoring, Jungkook’s hasty, “ Fuck” or the way Taehyung’s eyes that had gone as wide as saucers. 

He held the towel out and I yanked it out of his grip, wrapping the fabric around my body. 

Taehyung let out a harsh, “ Get the fuck out of my house.” at Jungkook who quickly grabbed his jeans and stumbled out with a rushed.

“I’ll call you noona.” 

I glared at Taehyung, refusing to so much as acknowledge him as I pushed past him into the living room.

“Jungkook wait, I’m coming with you.” I called out angrily and the wolf stopped, looking surprised as he finished pulling his jeans on, fumbling with his buttons.

“Leave, Jungkook.” Taehyung snapped.

“Uh....” Jungkook stared between the two of us.

“Why the fuck are you still here?” This time Taehyung’s voice was louder, deeper, bordering on a true snarl and Jungkook recoiled.

“Fine. I’ll just get a cab then.” 

I turned to the bag with my clothes, grabbing the first thing I could get my hands on. 

Taehyung’s voice came from behind me , tired and weary.

“Please don’t leave.”

I stopped, closing my eyes and willing myself not to completely lose it.

“Please , just.... I know I shouldn’t be angry. This thing with us is ...nothing.” He said softly, which , fucking  ouch .  Having him actually say it was so much worse. 

But he wasn’t done.

  “  Its just a fucking favor you’re doing me, i know that is what it is. We don’t owe each other anything I know , but if you're gonna see Jungkook just... not in my house okay. I didn’t like him with you...in  my  house.”

I turned around to stare at him.

“What do you think I was doing with him in  your  house Taehyung? He came over to help because Yugyeom was busy. You were the one who asked him to check up on me....weren’t you?”

Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I don’t fucking know...all I know is that my wolf smelled you and another alpha and-”

“You know you’re the only were who speaks like that...” I said angrily.

Taehyung blinked.

“Like what?”

“Like you and your wolf are two different entities. Like you can do any thing you want and then blame your damn wolf for it. And its beginning to piss me off.” 

Taehyung flinched at that.

“I’m just... I’m trying to do this in a way that our lives don’t get fucked up. I can’t... Your father....”

“I know. I know my fucking father is a scumbag and that he needs to rot in hell and I am willing to help you do it. But if only you could just.... give me a fucking break .,...” 

“I know...and I’m sorry. I just... I’m in a mess. Your father got rid of three of the dealers we could tie him to and it looks like there are other people involved in this whole thing. Other powerful men. I’m just... I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do this without getting someone close to your father.”

I stared at him.

“Well, its not me. He hates my guts... He would never confide in me.”

“But he has a soft spot for a really close friend of mine....I believe you’ve met him....his name is Cha Eun Woo.”

I froze. 

“Taehyung....”  I groaned in disbelief. 

“I wanted to ask you if you would pretend to date Cha Eun Woo...”

I felt like my head was about to splinter in two. 

“Just long enough for me to get the info I need. Eun Woo is good at what he does and he can easily get into your father’s good graces, get him to confide in him and we could bring this entire fucking racket down...but the only way Eun woo could have access to your father would be through you.... “ 

Taehyung sounded desperate as he spoke, and I felt dangerously close to crying. 

“So it wasn’t enough that you got to fuck me? You’re just gonna pimp me out to your friends now...” I choked out.

“Fucking hell, Rae...That’s not what this is....This is for the...”

“Greater good.....yeah... I know.... I fucking heard you today morning on the fucking phone...Telling your friend how you had to suffer through a night with me for the greater good. And that's just perfectly fine....what I really don’t understand is why you had to fucking pretend like you actually gave a shit about me.... “ I  choked out , my eyes dampening against my wishes . 

Taehyung froze, eyes wide. 

Something awfully close to pity began to swim in them and I swallowed the bile rising up my throat. 

“Fine. Tell your fucking friend to come pick me up.” 

I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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