#I have so much singing to do this week
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Gosh I'd forgotten how nice it is not to be sick
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Really awful that this even needs to be a thought in my head at all but I’m dreading that if Liam Payne’s death is indeed a suicide, people will make it about ‘cancel culture’ and ‘mob mentality’ and whatever the fuck and dismiss and harass his ex and the women who’ve spoken out about his behaviour recently. Make no mistake regardless this death is shocking and tragic, but the internet is allergic to nuance, feel like its gonna get pissed away, all the allegations made ‘nought’ or excessive or all equates to harassment and bullying. It’s gonna become a talking point about fucking ‘wokeness’. Any victims who’ve stepped forward, they’re gonna hear ‘Didn’t you get your wish? You killed a man’. Jesus Christ.
#dreading it dreading it dreading it#liam payne#// death mention#// death#// suicide mention#// suicide#// victim blaming#catastrophising#I do worry this sounds unsympathetic#and having this be the main thing that comes to mind to me feels pretty wretched#but man it’s like Alec Holowka all over again I do not trust what the internet landscape is gonna be in the coming days#on a personal note#thinking of my friends from year 5#my whole class went to a music studio for a friends 9th or 10th birthday party and she was a directioner so we took it in turns in groups#singing what makes you beautiful into the mic of a recording booth#and a few weeks later I had a science homework about what the airs made out of and did an extension#where I wrote a parody song ‘you don’t know what you’re breathing’ and it was peak and I still remember some of the lyrics#I think a good couple of the girls liked liam the most iirc#idk if this bothers them much since this was a younger group of fans so different experience#but I hope they’re not too shaken#fuck.#anecdote#ty if you read these tags#vent post#// real person death
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Back near the shore, back to before
You took my hand
#the little mermaid live action#the little mermaid 2023#halle bailey#jonah hauer king#princess ariel#prince eric#ariel x eric#i have not been this obsessed with eric and ariel for a long time if ever tbh#their chemistry is SOOOO GOOD!!!#their acting and singing as individuals too??? WOW#listen i am 2 weeks late but i am here#i never gif or even really like live action disney stuff so this is how you know how much i love them#have never left my head for almost a damn week#this is just basically every time their hands touched or brushed against each other#maybe this is only for me idk#yes i included her holding the hand of his statue... what about it?#i am planning to do an evolution of how they look at each other compilation and an ariel and max compilation too#the little mermaid live action spoilers?#tw: flashing lights#i love how it's the hand of the statue she grabs and holds onto in this version tbh#because they hold hands so much in this movie#tlmedit#thelittlemermaidedit#disneyedit#hbaileyedit#jhauerkingedit
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By the way, about LCSyS, how are you dealing with the whole 'Es plurality' situation? Because it is a central part of their character that gets brought up on multiple voice dramas and seems really difficult to remove. Also, it is implied that some of our judgements may be our if character for Es because they seem pretty uncertain about it. For example, some people including myself suspect that if Es wasn't controlled by the audience they would have voted Mahiru innocent because they appear somewhat fond of her and would probably have not jumped to stalker based on no evidence (kinda bullshit people thought that anyway but whatever). This was asked by someone who is insane about Es and thinks about them constantly, BTW.
Ah, well I appreciate an Es expert (Espert?) weighing in on it!! :D
Because that element is very central to both them and the plot, even if it hasn’t been fully explored yet. Like you said, there are a lot of events that rely on these “other” voices, some actions and decisions that they themself seem unsure of! Not to mention their own dialogue using a plural first person pronoun! I’m already trying to distance the au from the audience interaction element, so I’ve definitely kept my eye on the plural Es theory >:3
Since we have little to work with, I’ve tried to keep them pretty vague in the fic so far. They don’t appear in a lot of it because of plot reasons (everything is the same as canon to them, most of the time). And even in their pov chapter I try to steer thoughts and emotions directly to the prison. I only mention their identity near the end to make everyone say “Hmmmm we don't know who you are and neither do you!” Now, I'm prepared for three main options for endings: 1. There is a non-system, in-universe explanation for the voices. 2. The voices are directly confirmed as the audience. 3. Yamanka states that he hates me, personally, and doesn’t explain anything about Es. If it’s the first one, I’ll see how well it works into my fic and go from there! (If it’s overly supernatural/involves Es disappearing/dying, I might make some tweaks lmao. I’m committed to accuracy but this is a fix-it, at the end of the day.) For the second two, I plan on leaning into plural Es, with research and input from others to make the writing accurate 👍I’m hoping to go back revise earlier sections to drop more hints and make things consistent. I also want to write an epilogue once we get more context on the ending as a whole! Though, I guess they've already confirmed some feeling of plurality... maybe I add some lines in that last chapter now...
#milgram#lights camera sing your sins#thank you so much!! i dont know why i was afraid to include things that have been confirmed even if we dont know the big picture#maybe i do that this week :0 it wont be a lot - just a little line here and there in the final chapter#plus in upcoming sections have the prisoners ask jackalope about the odd things they said during the interrogations#(to which he'll wiggle out of answering lol)#unfortunately i think its equally likely that the project will end with a lot of mystery and we'll never get the full truth on es/the crime#since its about reflection and ourselves and not a murder mystery#they could definitely pull a 'but how did it make you feel? what did it make you think? thats all that matters.'#i wont be Happy about it but it makes sense#and in that case ill need all the Esperts out there helping me out 🤝#es
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My fave thing about the WxS dynamic is that emu/rui/miku are always like tsukasaaaa it’s 3pm it’s time to make you do incredibly dangerous and life threatening stunts!!! & tsukasa is just like ok 😔 into the cannon I go 😔 while nene (arguably the most normal and sane person in WxS who could easily put a stop to this) is like yeah see you later idiot. Bye. (Not looking up from whatever game she’s playing)
#project sekai#i think tsukasa and nene should have mlm/wlw hostility. they’re friends nene just thinks he’s a dumbass.#kaito comes back to the sekai and everything is on fire. lives have been lost.#rui and emu planning some truly heinous things to put tsukasa through and nene is just like 😐👍🏻 sure#he’ll be fine & it’s like enrichment to him if you don’t launch your tsukasa out of a cannon once a week he has too much energy#and will start yelling at random passerbys that he’s gonna be a big star one day#rui 🤝 emu: torturing their good friend tenma tsukasa for funsies#i love the convos tsukasa has with them both where he’s like you want me to do WHAT (does it anyways) he’s so funny…#my favorite little group of clowns… the silliest geese…#i also think this is why kaito is the vocaloid most associated w WxS because they need a responsible person and that will not be miku.#in general their dynamic as a group fascinated me but like also their individual dynamics…#emu is the first person to try really hard to be nene’s friend. nene is teaching emu to sing.#tsukasa and rui being the weirdo wombo combo at their school and rui thinking tsukasa has star power#rui and nene being childhood friends who drifted apart & rui building the nene robot…#rui and emu being so so so attatched to wxs even if their friends want to move on & enabling each other’s insanity…#emu seeing tsukasa fail his audition and being like I Want That One :) and he grows to really respect and care abt her… ough I love them#nene and tsukasa getting past their beef and becoming friends…
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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a very unfortunate series of events has lead me to thinking about lucids again
don't worry ill be normal* by morning by ohhhhh man ohhhh jeez
*as normal as I can physically get about lucids
#first i saw an animation with the accident audio#which for those of you who dont know is from the series lucids#(which you should watch)#and so it was in my brain again#and then a while later i heard a clip of god is really real by ajr right#and so i was just kind of like absent mindedly singing the song to myself a little bit later#and out of nowhere my brain goes “god is really real lucids animation”#and then i was like oh. OH. OH FUCK.#specifically for oliver's situation#UGH AND LIKE MS HILLS AND ARTHUR TOO#and then like just the gang generally freaking the fuck out#as is a lot of the plot#GRRR#CHAT THEYRE MY SILLIES DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND#god and the benjamin proposal scene has been in my head for like weeks now#i love that monolouge. so much.#i have to physically restrain myself from going and rewatching the entire thing just so i can see that scene again#im so insane chat#sleep will fix me i promise but chat i am insane
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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Help just watched Dead Poets Society i understand what all the hype was about
#i think i just found my new hyperfixation yall#do not expect anything from me in the next 2-3 weeks#dead poets society#i get it now#all the gays in this fandom make SO much sense#cuz like#such a queer little movie#i was literally crying the whole way through this movie cause#its boys being boys#ACTUALLY boys not monsters#its boys figuring out life#and hanging out together#and reading poetry#and laughing and singing together#this movie is my hope#this movie is what i need in my life#the last part was the most depressing shit ever and i hope the directors die for allowing it but#it was needed and i get it#because how else would they have made this express what they wanted it to#plus#thats what fanfiction is for#istg if i go on ao3 and there aren't AT LEAST 2000 works on this i will die#sal's tagging tag
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'"let's put your goggles on," or, "how being a system destroyed my voice box"'
how come G-d gave His strongest voices
to His weakest throat?
we got too hot and heavy with our pants,
and now we're bursting all out at the seams.
this town wasn't big enough for the two of us,
so i'm gonna have to do some renovation.
you say, 'let's put your goggles on,'
like 'suddenly i see;'
i couldn't handle the weight of my world
on my shoulders,
so i'm gonna have to find another way to carry you.
hush, hush —
we're going to have to talk normally
since the box can't handle
both of us standing on it,
since i cannot stand to lose standing you.
- ellie revenge
#myevilposts#poetry#suggestive#suddenly i see - kt tunstall#birdhouse tag#he's been so joyous all kissing and holding me so much last night and today. he's been very gentle this week and now he's adoring me.#it's been an adjustment but it's going good. it's been so wonderful.#his voice made mine drop at least an octave? or so. about that much give or take a little. maybe more. which is crazy as fuck to#think about. like part of it is probably just me getting older but it was over the span of like. 2023-2024 and i sound so fucking different#than in 2022 it's um. very noticeable to me. how much lower my voice sits naturally.#oops i accidentally did vocal training that dropped my voice because i just love talking with/as him so much.#also actually learning how to sing a little bit probably helped but ummm. he sings too? through me? so there's that.#i really wish i could regale you all with his voice but unfortunately i think it'd hurt to do right now.#i'm gonna have to learn better posturing or smth to do his voice or else this could happen again and i don't want that.#so until then we're using the same voice.
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opened spotify to put the Cricket! discography on shuffle and got a notice that a new album from them apparently dropped like an hour ago whadda hell
#i got into this band like a week ago lol#so far i give it a rating of: the Cricket! is cricket!ing im having so much fun#the bizarrely kindergarten-esque instruments. the insanely fast talk-singing. the gazillion things happening at once that somehow all work.#the extremely angry radical optimism and palpable exhaustion. all the different bits my brain can hook onto upon relisten.#the kinda raspy raw vocals.#finally some good fucking folk punk food!!!!!!#jupiter talks#im so fucking alert rn i could probably do a maths problem /ref#pspspspspsps go listen to cricket! theyre so good
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I have an idea for that for a moment animatic
Lloyd and sora sing the song at karaoke it could be set after season 2
The two of them singing as a father-daughter duo does sound lovely!
I had briefly thought of Lloyd singing Wonka's part since that better matches the cross-generational friendship theme of the song than Arin buuuuut it would feel a little mean for Sora to sing "he's the one good thing that's ever happened to me" about Lloyd after Arin left. :'(
#if it's Arin and Sora I would imagine them singing it shortly after first meeting#cause Sora would have still been distrustful and hurt after her experiences in Imperium#while Arin would be sunny and hopeful#this is all purely hypothetical atm though#I don't have the skill to actually try and do this animatic DX#or at least if I did it would take me a long time#I still haven't finished the one I was working on#and that ones an unserious derpy one with minimal effort put into it#mispearl asks#thanks so much for the ask!#all I've gotten for weeks is spam#mispearl ninjago thoughts
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Song of the Day: May 3
"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against
#song of the day#'I don't ask for much / truth be told I'd settle / for a life less frightening'#another song that when I sing it alone it doesn't sound much like the original but I do so like to sing it#check me stirring my roux humming 'these lives we live test negative for happiness' sweetly to myself#today was Friday and I'm still trying to decide if I'm satisfied with the amount of work I got done this week#I suppose I'll have to be#I had my weekly report meeting and again the updates my boss asked for in the meeting were not the ones she asked me to prepare#so I split-screened her and delivered the prepared updates as I frantically opened and updated the new request#and then when she finished making politely falsely interested sounds (I'm not bitter I'm not I'm not) she asked again for the new update#and by then I had it ready! saved it as I brought up the share-screen and showed it to her#too frustrated in the moment to be properly proud of myself but now it's hours later and I'm feeling a little smug about it#little back-pats for me#I have something like a project timeline worked out for the idiot project#and I did some good work in the garden (nasturtium growing up the post under the bird feeder. very pleased it took the transplant so well)#and I sooooort of sorted the freezer stuff. kind of. mostly we ate the things I wanted to rearrange but I've got a plan for moving forward#the last non-work thing I'd really wanted to accomplish this week was getting my queue set up again here#I've gone through my drafts and done some prep but as you can see the queue isn't actually running again yet#hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. we'll see how it goes#the queue may have to wait until Sunday because I must confess if I can accomplish only one single solitary thing tomorrow#I would like it to be six hours of uninterrupted sleep. may it please the gods I shall rest tomorrow. blessed weekend#edit: wait wait I'm a fool I'm a fool I just typed 'May 3' and still I am a fool#it's May the Fourth!!#happy star wars day my loves if I don't get the queue up today after all#it's because I'm reshuffling everything because I've got a new influx of SW posts to distribute!!
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boy how do you reblog such great things
been cultivating my dash for years. i also found most of them in my drafts
#looked at my drafts to find a Rb about my day / the boy i like (☕) BUT. IT ATE JT LMAO POST IS GONE#however i will do it here and now#SO IT WAS “CULTURE DAY” TODAY BUT MOST PPL USE IT AS NON UNIFORM DAY#I go in & see ☕ in form and go to assembly blah blah blah dont see him again until 3rd period#i sit behind him in english bc we have a room change and i have an excuse hes sososo funny and talks to me like the whole time#same as biology but he got kicked out for talking too much lol#then at lunch he disappears nd im a little bummed BUT HE APPEARS FROM THE HALL AND INVITES ME#so i go and bring my friends too and we sit while he & some younger years dance#and hes dancing and slaying etc etc all flamboyant /pos /pos /pos sometimes on the stage sometimes near us#near us he looks. fucking DEAD into my eyes and sings along to the song when its like “i know you like me” or sum#NDJSBDJSBE AHHHHH#and im sat a little away from the group but he sits with me specifically#friendgroup takes a pic without me really noticing & my friend Annabelle jokingly goes “why is Bev looking at ☕ with so much love”#I laugh it off. but ohhh ny god u have no idea. i was heart eyes motherfucker the whole time#HES SO CUTE IM SCREAAAAMING WITH THE WAY HIS KIPPAH KINDA MOVES HIS HAIR & HIS NEW GLASSES & SHIRT THAT ISNT UNIFORM SO I CAN SEE HIS WAIST#UGHFJSBSKSB MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD#hes so cool its so scary to be around him#then in PE we were meant to habe just dance for the last 2 weeks but theres been no available room#our group were in the gym but we got permission to wonder around instead#☕ says “whatre you doing?” i say “walking aimlessly” and he says “OH MY GOD PERFECT SAME LETS DO IT TOGETHER”#so him & me & my friends r walking and then im like. can we play just dance in the tennis courts#So he gets it on his phone starts playing and dibs me as a partner for Girlfriend and Timber. oh my sweet lord.#GODDD HES SO PRETTY AND FUNNY AND COOL IM OBSESSED WITH HIM OH MY GOD.#so anyway. thats the answer to your question LMAOOO#loz tag#asks#beverly says stuff#the bev is gay chronicles#☕#like before i wasnt sure if i LIKE-LIKED him or if it was hyperfix or smthn. im now 100%sure i really really like him
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Today I worked 8-5 at summer camp but the good news is tomorrow I have no class. But the bad news again is that I have mandarin cram school grammar homework AND I have to prepare answers to the fucking interview questions for my chinese teacher's podcast AND i have like 300 flashcards to review. Whatever........ I'm glad I have my brain back from being manic but also it sucks here !!
#Emery 2k24#I am having to do so much catch-up from the last 3 weeks and like .#Bedtime and healthy eating and studying.#And it sucks. I want to sleep 2 hours a night and walk around the streets at 4am singing to myself with no consequences!!!!!!
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