#i wont be Happy about it but it makes sense
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"If a night of passion is on offer.." It's ok to take it.
I think some passion flower would do nicely for this pot of thought. Does Astarion really want a night of passion or is he people pleasing? Lets steep on it.
WARNING: Game spoilers and talk of S.A..
Hmmm...to be randy or not to be randy. That is the conundrum.
This is not fact, is just opinion based off my own and game experience. As always, how anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right! No blame, no shame, it's your game!
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I have seen a lot of comments expressing anxiety about whether or not Tav should accept Astarion's proposal for sex in the grave yard.
"Given his past, I'm just not sure he really wants it."
"Is he just doing it because now that Caza..MF is dead he thinks I will leave now that the task is done?"
"Is he feeling insecure in his new freedom?"
"Is it too soon for him to be sexual after so much trauma for so long?"
"Does he mean what he is saying? Or is he being funny?"
I was one of those people. But now that iv had time to ponder it..
One thing to keep in mind is that most (I wont say all) S.A victims can, in time, start to enjoy sex again in safe, secure situations.
Treating them like they are fragile and tip toeing around them isn't fair. It doesn't help them build resilience or help them find a way back to a healthier relationship with sex.
If they are offering, trust them to make that choice.
Lets say you had a bad experience with swimming. You are scared of the water now, but you still love the ocean. You could forsake the water forever, and some do and that's a perfectly right choice, or you find small ways back to it.
Sit by the edge and watch the tide. Chase the tide out then let it chase you back in. Dip just your toes in the water. Then your hands, then your legs etc etc . Until one day you are back in the ocean.
It's the same with sexual interaction. Small steps to build your emotional strength back up.
That's not to say they wont still have pre or postcoital dysphoria from time to time, (fear of drowning) but it does get easier as time goes on. The more the experiences end in happy memories instead of tragic ones, the easier it gets.
So, does it show a lack of empathy to sleep with Astarion in the grave yard?
Nope. I think he actually does want to connect with you sexually.
Why?
Because of the dialogue you have regarding offering him the Astral-Touched tadpole. He says no. Then says...
"I had nothing for so long. Nothing. Not even my own body. I will NOT give it up, now it's mine again."
His face is one of complete conviction. He alone, controls what happens to his body. Who gets to use it, what happens to it, when it happens, where it happens and why it happens. Period.
This happens before you reach the city. Which means se has already regained the ability to say "no" long before graveyard.
Even if you chose to convince him to sleep with you after he asks you not to in his confession, he still asserts the boundary. It may be after the fact, and he leaves you, but it's still there.
So it wouldn't make much sense for him to suddenly back track and start offering sex as a means to manipulate Tav now.
Also, he is not using his "I'm lying out my fangs" face or his "I'm gong to literally seduce the pants off of you" face.
Mask of Lies Mask of Seduction
So, with those two things in mind, and I'm sure there are more, fast forward to that fateful night in the cemetery where he says he wants you to seduce him and...* insert suspenseful music*
BEHOLD!
When he says "If a night of passion is on offer, I could be persuaded" his face is almost exactly the same as when he says "I love you, I love this. And I want it all".
(and there was much rejoicing)
He is not pulling the faces that he uses when he lies or seduces. Which means the offer is sincere. You have, through repetition and consistency, proven to him that you care about him because of who he is to you. Not because of what he can do for you. Which was what he wanted. You are a safe space. "I feel safe with you. Seen." And for our affection starved elf, that's got to be a total turn on.
Also, with Cazador dead, he can let go of the subconscious fear of you being destroyed in some way if he sleeps with you.
He can make love to you with all the feelings he's ever had to repress involved. And for the first time in 200 years, not have the fear of it being ripped away any second, or being punished for it, by that monster or himself.
Here, on his new birthday, where his new life starts, he choses to experience you.
So put the doubt down and go get some grave dirt in places it shouldn't be.
And get some saucy elf in places you want him to be.
But, a graveyard? Really?
Why not? Where else would be more appropriate to have a "little death" with someone? *wink*
Or it could be that fact that your bedroom has more people in it than a clown car. Needs must..
Oh, but do keep a look out for Gracie, the grave yard guard. She has a low tolerance for mischief.
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By the way, about LCSyS, how are you dealing with the whole 'Es plurality' situation? Because it is a central part of their character that gets brought up on multiple voice dramas and seems really difficult to remove. Also, it is implied that some of our judgements may be our if character for Es because they seem pretty uncertain about it. For example, some people including myself suspect that if Es wasn't controlled by the audience they would have voted Mahiru innocent because they appear somewhat fond of her and would probably have not jumped to stalker based on no evidence (kinda bullshit people thought that anyway but whatever). This was asked by someone who is insane about Es and thinks about them constantly, BTW.
Ah, well I appreciate an Es expert (Espert?) weighing in on it!! :D
Because that element is very central to both them and the plot, even if it hasn’t been fully explored yet. Like you said, there are a lot of events that rely on these “other” voices, some actions and decisions that they themself seem unsure of! Not to mention their own dialogue using a plural first person pronoun! I’m already trying to distance the au from the audience interaction element, so I’ve definitely kept my eye on the plural Es theory >:3
Since we have little to work with, I’ve tried to keep them pretty vague in the fic so far. They don’t appear in a lot of it because of plot reasons (everything is the same as canon to them, most of the time). And even in their pov chapter I try to steer thoughts and emotions directly to the prison. I only mention their identity near the end to make everyone say “Hmmmm we don't know who you are and neither do you!” Now, I'm prepared for three main options for endings: 1. There is a non-system, in-universe explanation for the voices. 2. The voices are directly confirmed as the audience. 3. Yamanka states that he hates me, personally, and doesn’t explain anything about Es. If it’s the first one, I’ll see how well it works into my fic and go from there! (If it’s overly supernatural/involves Es disappearing/dying, I might make some tweaks lmao. I’m committed to accuracy but this is a fix-it, at the end of the day.) For the second two, I plan on leaning into plural Es, with research and input from others to make the writing accurate 👍I’m hoping to go back revise earlier sections to drop more hints and make things consistent. I also want to write an epilogue once we get more context on the ending as a whole! Though, I guess they've already confirmed some feeling of plurality... maybe I add some lines in that last chapter now...
#milgram#lights camera sing your sins#thank you so much!! i dont know why i was afraid to include things that have been confirmed even if we dont know the big picture#maybe i do that this week :0 it wont be a lot - just a little line here and there in the final chapter#plus in upcoming sections have the prisoners ask jackalope about the odd things they said during the interrogations#(to which he'll wiggle out of answering lol)#unfortunately i think its equally likely that the project will end with a lot of mystery and we'll never get the full truth on es/the crime#since its about reflection and ourselves and not a murder mystery#they could definitely pull a 'but how did it make you feel? what did it make you think? thats all that matters.'#i wont be Happy about it but it makes sense#and in that case ill need all the Esperts out there helping me out 🤝#es
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I know everyone wants stories with happy endings, and they all hate when the main characters die, and insist well what's the point of the story then, it didn't matter at all! they died!
but.
I don't know. do the stories of those who die at the end not matter at all?
because if that's the case, I have news about the stories told by everyone who has ever lived in this world.
we all die at the end. we are all doomed by the narrative.
but our stories still matter.
#writing#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#listen it can be done well it can be done poorly#but i dont get this hatred of characters dying at the end and everyone not getting their happy ending#its not about realism#its about what the author is trying to say#some characters die because they need to die#because it fulfills their character arc it enhances it#it makes a difference#and there is catharsis in understanding that sometimes people die for a good cause for a glorious purpose#we all die#isnt there relief in seeing a story where our special friends die but it mattered in the end and death was something meaningful#if it was embraced with dignity#am i making any sense#i just know my own death wont matter#i like following stories where the mc dies but#it meant something the way mine will not#and the vast majority of people do not die for a good cause or with purpose#and those who do are heroes in our reality#but why are they so reviled in fiction#let your characters deaths mean something
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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@ricstarweek2024 ended like 2 days ago but I was sad I didn’t get to post my last entry due to timing issues, anyway, belatedly:
Day 7 - Family
I want them to have a slightly awkward but emotional and sweet meeting while Rictor acts as emotional support 😔
#ricstarweek2024#ricstar#shatterstar#rictor#dazzler#alison blaire#julio richter#X-men#that bit where he almost tells her haunts me still#I think there would be some guilt and hurt on the aspect of erasing her memories#but ultimately they live in the world they do and Ali would unferstand he did what he had to#anyway I wanna make a comic about that but that’s gonna have to wait till much later#I also think their relationship would be like slightly awkward because star IS an adult and ali doesn’t necessarily know how to be#his mom and star only sort of has learned recently what it’s like to have family in a sense#but I think they’d both want to really try to have that connection and it’s very sweet and becomes really caring#I think it’d make Ali really happy to know ric was there for him when he came to their time and he had someone to rely on who loved him#but also I think about her asking him if his childhood at least had some moments of happiness and I think of star answering like#’It’s okay I didn’t know any better than what I had’ and I think that would really gut her and make her want to make up for lost time sm#I REALLY WANNA MAKE A COMIC ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MARVEL WONT OKAY? ALRIGHT IM DONE
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can’t remember if i saved it or not but that one mouthwashing post i saw that said that “curly rehab aus are ableist” is insane and you guys should really think before you post
#like obviously it wont happen in canon#the tragedy is part of the story of the game#but fix-it aus have existed ever since fanfiction has existed lmfao#curly’s state is Obviously a bad situation for him#of course prosthetics might not be a good option for everyone but its representative of him taking back his autonomy#its part of the happy ending lmfao?? whats not clicking#not everything has to be one to one to canon all the time#mouthwashing is full of ‘if only’s#it makes sense that people would want to fulfill that#mouthwashing#and also yeah i think it would be interesting to explore alternatives of prosthetics and stuff#but not everyone knows in detail about those alternatives#rehab aus might be a good way to teach ppl abt them tho!#honest to god im not even the biggest fan of happy endings aus#i just thought that post was fucking insane
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for the most part i do really enjoy the cruise arc, what gets me is how excited athena was at the end of s6 for it and s7 makes her do a complete 180 😭 i just thought it would have been so fun for them to just "disappear" and tell everyone after they've already left or as athena suggested not all ... like 118 gets to work and surprise bobby's taken a vacation and hen's in charge with no warning. also would've have added to the angst of the cruise ship disasters bc no one knows where they are ... how would hen realize something was wrong this time ...
and this just allows for the initial bathena scenes to be more fun and silly and romantic enjoying their honeymoon
#like athenas fears make sense and it could have been a good storyline theh went about it so weirdly and confusingly....#someone said it would've been a better s4 /5 storyline which i kinda agree#timing is just very off#or if they just gave us proper resolution of those fears id also be much happier#bathena is just so cute at the end of s6#theyre so happy and in love#they need a proper no disaster vacation but i fear that wont happen...#same with them properly resolving their trauma or fights.... like I love the angst but i need the comfort and resolution and recovery after#PLEASE#911#bobby nash#athena grant nash#bathena
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you;re having a normal one about round 6 huh?
GRRRRRRRAAGFARRAEAGGRRRRRRRREASAAAAGHHHHHRRRRRRRGRGRGRGRGRRRRRRRRRRGROWWWWGGHHHHHGRAHHHHJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRGREGWFFHADGDGADFYAFHFQFHAHFGDAFHSFHDGAHFHWFFHSUFFHAFHSRRRRRRRRRR
#thanks for the ask!#IM TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. PEOPLE ARENT MAKING SENSE#he didnt need to keep strangling him! but others have pointed out he wasnt actually on his windpipe! so im guessing my last post is right???#BUT WHAT IF IT ISNY#GAY PEOPLE ARE RUINING MY LIFE#im not familiar enough with these characters to know what theyre thinking!!!! to know why they do the things they do!!!#maybe its to make him hate him?? so he would mourn less?? maybe it was to remind him how it feels to nearly die- to put fight back in him??#ppl are saying its to make him unforgettable to till but i feel like the kiss already did that yknow...#alien stage i will cry i will scream unless i get an answer im happy about. i wont sleep tonight until i can figure it out
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guys i didn't realise most of u hate galladads :( unfortunately i love them i wont even lie
#for once i wont be siding with popular opinion#sure i think they have a lot of issues and in an IDEAL world they wouldn't have kids until much later#but idk i dont really like thinking of ideal worlds? not sure if that makes sense. but it makes fanfiction MUCH less fun to think of them#being all perfect and happy. whole point of shameless is to show them in shitty situations. (not that having a baby wld be shitty to them#but a lot of u talk about how they wouldnt be ready to be parents)#i think they have a lot of issues but so did debbie and so did lip#i still really appreciated their baby plotlines and yes ik its different bc gallavich wouldnt get knocked up like that and wld have to make#the conscious decision#but still i think it would be rlly interesting to see them struggle through that#and they WOULD eventually learn how to take very good care of her#i think ian much quicker but also mickey#they both have experience looking after people younger than them so idk i could see it#gallavich#shameless
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I WANT TO HEAR YOUR DAKOTA N VYNCENT THOUGHTS SO BAD please tell me about them.....
oooh dakota and vyncent…, where do i start. i warn you i don't normally do like. character analysis writing type posts? so please excuse if it's bad.
they have perhaps the most strained relationship out of the prime defenders. but that's not necessarily a bad thing. it's really compelling. they're very similar but also very different at the same time. and maybe this is why they can sort of grate against each other sometimes, but is also why they are such good friends who can rely on each other.
vyncent grew up living a life that, while not necessarily comfortable, he was familiar with. he was happy and he had a support system in the greats and his parents. that got ripped away from him very suddenly and he got dropped in the deep end of a world entirely unfamiliar. meanwhile dakota (from after his parents death onwards) had a very difficult childhood. he spent many years without a support system - his parents gone, his aunt struggling herself and not able to care for him as he needs. but he's had time to learn to deal with that. rockfall/new haven is where he's grown up, and he knows it like the back of his hand. so they're both struggling but like in opposite ways? where vyncent has been okay for most of his life but now he hasn't had a chance to adjust, while dakota's been going through it for longer but that means he's been able to adjust and is familiar with the rules of this world.
they also have opposite ways of coping with bad things / tackling their problems. dakota shuts down. vyncent lashes out. dakota is determined to never take a life. vyncent comes from a world where fighting to the death is normal. dakota not only trusts, but idolises heroes. vyncent has been nothing but let down by them and doesn't trust them at all.
i think about that scene in season 1 so much where they're at mark's house, and tide has been taken, and dakota's just shut down. vyncent starts yelling at him because he's lost everything he had in this world and can't afford to just stop like that. it's just the perfect example of how their opposite experiences and coping mechanisms cause them to clash.
more extremely, when william gets killed. dakota completely breaks down, while vyncent starts attacking even more furiously. then vyncent is like. almost pleading (? you could say? not sure if thats the word) with dakota to just get up and fight because he can't do this alone. he can't do this without dakota. he couldn't have done any of this without dakota.
but in perhaps the more simple ways, they're quite alike. they're the epitome of dumb teenage boys. i mean, they'll just break into a duet on the train. they goof off together - the shopping cart race, that one scene in the gym in season one.
so. like. they lean on each other. they both don't have much to rely on. but they have each other. i think vyncent was probably, even if its a large part subconsicous, feeling betrayed when dakota left over the s1-2 timeskip. likewise how dakota felt betrayed over the bino and mark thing / mal amulet / belltech, etc. etc. but they stick together. no matter what they go through they get out of it, and they get out of it together.
so. okay apologies for taking so long to say so little. essentially what i like most about dakota and vyncent's friendship is that duality of relying on each other both out of necessity and because they're the only ones who really get each other, and also having the energy of like. "hey bro how many slices of pizza can i fit in my mouth at once. hey bro bet you cant backflip off of this building. hey bro let's do a karaoke duet of breaking free from high school musical"
as vyncent himself said in late season 2. they're brothers. (falls over and sobs)
#thank you for giving me the opportunity to yap about this#it makes me very very happy when people want to hear my opinions / thoughts on these characters i love so dearly#sorry if this is incoherent lol i get anxious about making posts like these#im not the most eloquent but i do hope people understand what im trying to say here#this is what i was trying to convey in that art piece. that sense of loneliness from the world but company in each other.#simultaneously being just silly pals but also having way too much responsibility and just. leaning on each other#and everything isnt okay but it will be. it has to be. because we always figure something out.#i mean they are like this in a way with william too but it just. it feels slightly different with these two in particular. idk.#i also have MANY thoughts about them specifically in the context of my death prince au (big fic im drafting)#which i will SO happily share if literally anybody wants but. i wont include that here and bombard you lol#jrwi dakota#jrwi vyncent#jrwi spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers
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I miss and mourn the days of summer 2022, I don't think I've ever been that happy and fulfilled as an internet artist in my life
#litchi.txt#i miss the community and the engagement and the people and just the times#it sucked like honestly the fandom on twt was rancid#but it was a good time when i got to post comics and just be excited with everyone about the story#i miss the engagement not for the sake of popularity but for the sake of community#for once it felt like Im talking to people around a fire instead of yelling into the void#and like things just... really went fucky after didnt they#i think ive grown as an artist and all that but I rarely get as much joy out of posting anymore#its more of 'it wont do well anyways so why bother'#Im happy with the piece. I just wish I could be happy about it with others if that makes sense#so I just dont post as much anymore because what is the point#i really. really miss that.#monarchy days my beloved where have you gone?
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While finally writing a thing, I suddenly remembered that I never shared (I don't think) when I HC Guizhong's birthday to be: the first day of each year, January 1st. Why? Well, I was thinking of the Guili Assembly, and how it seems really rather likely that it was created from the names that she and Morax, at the time, went by (not Zhongli, or... well, maybe that was exactly what he went by actually, come to think of it; why wouldn't he?) Which, to me, is further confirmed by the translation of the area's name's from the Chinese source directly. We have the 'Plains of Returning and Departing' (歸離原), which correlate with the meanings of a symbol in each of their names, the 'Gui' (歸) from Guizhong which means 'to return', and 'li' (離) from Zhongli, which means 'to depart'.
Now, regardless of the perceived nature of these two to others, I think saying that they're intertwined in stone (history) and memory either way, to hardly be far from a stretch at all. Now, keeping the above two translations in mind, and remembering that they put Zhongli's birthday in our western calendar on December 31st, I think January 1st would be a beautiful decision for Guizhong's. He represents the end of a fruitfal year, and she represents the start, or chance, of a new. I love the symbolism more than I can put into words.
#guizhong. [ many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow. ]#guizhong: little notes. [ she always sought to make everyone happy and one must say: she had quite the gift for it. ]#speaking of-- of course when i speak of guizhong... i usually end up talking about zhongli as well but i do want to touch on it now.#people have gone 'okay but the name of the plains doesn't make sense... he went by morax! not zhongli!'#okay but guizhong also wasn't her /actual god name/ like morax was/is zhongli's name. guizhong's god name was haagentus.#guizhong was either a name given to her by her people (similar to 'rex lapis' even though that was more a title than a name i suppose)#or it was one that she took on. and THAT name was utilized from thereon out. which includes the guili assembly.#but look at the definitions of both names-- as in guizhong and zhongli and tell me that they don't match in numerous ways.#what if he actually /did/ go by zhongli back then? what stops him? it may be a name that withered in the ages. maybe it's one he let go of.#in the aftermath of her death and the guili assembly and returned to morax?#what if him using it now-- is possibly a callback? i mean /who would know/? and even if somehow it might've been remembered.#who would /ever/ make the connection?#instead of hypothesizing what name he might have used that contained 'li'-- why not... look at what's in front of us?#what if he picked that name because... it was already once his?
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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Not to be sappy and all that, but even though I find it tragic that Jesse will forever have to live under a fake identity for the rest of his life, and how lonely it might be, I also see Mr. Driscoll as a means for him to start anew where he can finally rediscover his true self again.
#brba#breaking bad#jesse pinkman#me speaks#my post#the thing that always makes me sad about jesse is his unrealized passion for arts#and how alot of people in his life never truly saw him for who he is they mostly treated him like an object or some junkie#but now as mr driscoll he can finally be the artist that he always wanted to be#and sure the new people in his life will never truly know the depths of his trauma#but at least now they wont see him as some junkie and he will meet people in his life who will appreciate him for the artist that he is 😭#lmao I am sooo normal about him#el camino#but yeah I just think that at least in that sense he wont be completely alone they did say that the people in alaska would welcome him#happy bday bby!
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Since legends arceus, I've always thought to myself that cyllene and cogita would be the kind of characters I would have dedicated my heart and soul to as a young twenty-something and now I'm realizing. I can be a young thirty-something and dedicate my heart and soul to them now
But see I reliably run into this problem I deal with all the time where I want to hyperfocus on several different things (in this case, characters and ships) with equal intensity but I plainly lack the time and ability to fully dedicate myself to each thing as much as I really want to so I end up just sticking with one or two (in this case, phaesporia) while quietly yearning to throw myself into other characters and ships just as hard but then if I do shift focus I feel like I'm abandoning the single thing I was allowing myself to dedicate myself to so i end up somewhat paralyzed with indecision
#its like#thing makes me feel good#consider shifting to other thing but get scared ill forget about the first thing that made me feel good#and what if shifting away from the thing that makes me feel good means i wont feel good at all anymore#so i have to cling to the one thing bc at least i know for certain it makes me happy#and then unintentionally stunt my own creativity#over and over and over again#it really extra doesnt make any sense given that i am currently revisiting so many things that used to make me so happy#and theyre bringing me just as much joy now as they did a decade ago#where is the sense in this!!!!
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I don't know what to say... everyone got a happy ending except the people who actually wanted a real revolution and had a cause for it... but it's not like we had much of their opinions on this I guess... also no final lez sex scene... tragic
#the man silver is looking for is thomas i know it..... thats why flint wont kill him..... he will pop out with the i know where thomas is#flint and co being down to guerrilla tactics.... OH JACK MADE IT SKFJSKSJSK#silver realising that he did this tantrum that broke their crew apart for nothing cause flint really wangs madi alive.... DUMBASS#you know what i think the change between season in centering mostly everything around silver instead of flint kinda diminishes the causes#for billys grievances and betrayal and kinda descent into madness lmao bc his problem is with flint but it kinda is blurred in the distance#idk billy is very against flint and so was silver but the moment he got close to him those issues disappeared almost completely bc#novody complains about flint anymore... its just billy in the background and he just sounds petty#and then with silvers betrayal of flint bc of madi is just not deep enough like yeah your wife but that relationship is not developed...#and silvers relationship with flint actually is so it doesnt make sense#fistfight on the crows nest.... wow.... and billy drowns again!!!#is jack going to fight the governor HE IS GOING TO DIEE!!!#YEAAAAAH TWO AGAINST ONE KILL HIM!! FLINT KICK HIM WHILE HE IS DOWN!!!!#madi is alive my god..... silver was gon a end it all real quick#we could have done this before with twice the men but alas...#why is everything so eerie what is going on.... what is going to happen#MY GOD!!! FLINT IS MAKING ME CRY WHE IS HE SMILING AND PLEADING!!!! MY GOD!!!! FLINT YOU NEED TO MURDER HIM#EXACTLY WDYM THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!!! CASTING IN THE DARK FOR SOME PROOF THAT YOU MATTERED AND FINDING NONE!!!#THE FUCKING TREATY MADI WOULDNT ACCEPT!!! SILVER YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!#of course thomas was there....#silver i hate you but that was beautiful#them gaying out in the middle of the field akdbakns the soldiers just 🧍🏻♂️#you didnt betray her until now but it is literally the thought that counts#billy STILL ALIVE ajdjajj he is younger and more beautiful i told you.... he is unkillable#Featherstone as governor??? ajshaksjaiajwkqqjwkjwkakwkwwkwksa#look how happy max is ajdhaksjak YEAAAAHHH#jack that is a woman..... also ANNE AND JACK THE LAST PIRATES YEAAAHHHHH#THE PIRATE FLAG YEAAAAHHHHH#max and anne are smiling all the time now bc they get their pussy eaten on the reg.... it is true#talking tag#watching black sails
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