#I have simultaneously written nothing and the entire fic

[mamawasatesttube]

Is there anything in fanfics that you would like to explore more into?

*hastily shoves my 12 partly-written wips and 8948278 unwritten fic ideas under the bed* haha whatttt i mean maybe a few ideas but nothing craaaazy...

my wip folder rn:

cass's secret weapon… superstud.docx

gender i hardly know er.docx

i could spread YOU in the sheets.docx

jons big bro has got it going o.docx

nerd 4 geek type friendship.docx

red sub projector. i mean sun. i mean.docx

serlkon tacky earring exchange.docx

tim drake hits on supernova. whore.docx

ttk time.docx

what if im not a spicy enough boyfriend….docx

who would win. two heroes or one ouppy dog.docx

ideas that would take more than just a quick oneshot and therefore that i have not actually committed to doing yet:

tim and kon get trapped in a black mercy-esque shared dream world. for some reason, kon's mental paradise involves dating a guy who's like, almost exactly just tim, but a little to the left. what's up with that? is kon... into tim? but that can't be right because if he was, surely his dream would just involve dating tim. right? it can't just be that this is the hallucination world's solution to kon's desperate fear of ruining things and losing tim because he's convinced he's broken and not made for lasting relationships because he hasn't processed his trauma around being groomed. ...right? (and then tim proceeds to do mental gymnastics that would do the flying graysons proud.)

a rewrite of sotm that includes much more of the steels, an actual talk about the time mae told kon he wasn't worthy of the s-shield and physically ripped the patches off his costume, some real kon & kara, and more discussion of kon's suicidality.

the timkon love square au... ouhhhh it would be so fun. it'd have a backdrop of the superfam being just much more isolated than they are in canon and how that would play into their themes of loneliness in the heart of the world. and it would include tim being a nosy little fuck and being so lois lane-coded.

kon & cassie duet character study or something about their nearly simultaneous realizations of "oh fuck i'm gay" and "wait shit i'm a lesbian" and then the ensuing "oh no was i never actually into you? did i lead you on for that entire time? was i stringing you along and playing cruel games with your heart without meaning to?" guilt. and the catharsis of it all when they come out to each other and realize that this was actually why they felt drawn to each other, and why it felt so safe with each other. would delve into cassie's struggles with how people ripped into her for not being donna and for not being pretty enough, with her grief and her loneliness with the lack of her secret identity, and with her own internalized homophobia, and with kon's struggle to grapple with his previous unacknowledged relationship trauma and how therefore a relationship where his girlfriend wasn't actually into him made him feel so safe. because like. they are so so so important to each other even if it's not romantic and that is important to meeee

the "kon unionizes the labor guild" new krypton au that lives rent free in my mind but that i have not properly plotted out yet but that i still desperately need. it'd be heavy on immigrant feelings and also the kon & kal & kara trio.

...and more!!! augh!!!

[grapenehifics]

"Well Kenobi, at least you haven't forgotten how to show a guy a good time!"

"Boy, you're somethin'!"

"Yeah, and I'll tell you what, until I get back my three thousand credits you're going to get more than you bargained for. I'm your godsdamned partner!"

(The Obikin Raiders of the Lost Ark brainrot continues apace)

[navstuffs]

Synesthesia

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Summary: "A condition in which stimulation of one sense generates a simultaneous sensation in another". Or aka the fic where Gojo Satoru fucks you inside his domain expansion.

Trigger Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!, SMUT, tiny squint of dubcon (reader goes mind blank inside the domain), creampie, multiple powerful orgasms, reader gender isn't mentioned

Author's Notes: probably the hardest smut i have ever written. idk how many times this has been done in the fandom (im sure tons) and one time i read this INSANELY good fic abt it and have never found it again. anyway, enjoy! credit on the images from this post right here.

other gojo fics

An average person will feel many sensations in this world, either physically and/or spiritually (if you believe in that type of stuff). Before meeting Gojo Satoru, your emotions were still there to remind you, hey, you are human: come and feel us; you can't stop us.

Everything changed after you met Satoru.

Gojo Satoru wasn't normal. Even in your first meeting, even without being a cursed user, you could tell something was off about him in the best way possible. The white hair, the ethereal blue eyes behind the sunglasses, or the fact that he consumed sweets as someone should be consuming water. Even your concerns about diabetes didn't feel necessary with this man. 

And then you started dating him. Yes, you, the average human being of this world, the single person in the million of eight billion or more. And he chose you, fell for you, for some crazy idea in his head. You became his new drug in the best way possible. Gojo Satoru could never have had enough of you. 

The kisses were intoxicating, and his neediness was that of someone who could not hear the word "no." Satoru would pout like a child, his head down enough that you could see his eyes shining through his sunglasses. And you would say "yes" as if only that vision persuaded you (it was your heart speaking).

Now, fucking Gojo Satoru, that was on a whole new level. At this point, you knew of the curses, the Jujutsu world, and the fact that somehow you are dating the strongest of that universe (?!). Fucking Gojo Satoru was not like fucking your other lovers. Satoru was entirely in during sex. As in head, soul, mind, the total package deal. And it was only fair you gave him the same. 

-x-

"What would happen to normal humans inside your domain expansion?" 

The question is met with curiosity by Gojo, who is wearing his black bandana today. He ponders for a moment, one finger toward his chin (because you said once he looked cute doing it, and he does it every time now). "They probably wouldn't be able to see it. Just feel it."

"Could it be considered safe?"

"Mhmmm, let me think. For some milliseconds. Why?"

"Nothing."

Oh, but Satoru had already perceived your interest. Your eyes did not meet his, and you tried to look away, embarrassed. His smile grew from his side lips until Satoru questioned, his voice low, " Is there anything I should know of?"

"You promise you won't laugh?"

-x- 

That's how you end up on top of him, his dick buried deep inside your body. It is already overwhelming, suffocating almost, the air being pulled from your lungs every time your hips meet his, and you weren't even inside his domain yet. Satoru insisted on starting slowly for your safety: 0.1, 0.2 seconds max, according to his estimation. 

"Now?"

"Are you close?" You shake your head impatiently, furrowing your brows. "Didn't think so."

Differing from all the other nights, you sense Satoru's tension. He can't relax, not even without you moaning in his ear. It's not that Satoru believes he will hurt you; Satoru has to consider the slight possibility of what could happen if he lost control for a tiny second and ended up frying your brain on accident.

"'Toru. Focus on me." You demand, squeezing his nipple so he can come back to you.

Satoru reacts: he starts rubbing in between in the middle of your legs, stroking your sex in a way only he knew how to do, after weeks of studying your reactions every time you had sex. In less than two weeks, the prick had learned places you haven't even discovered yet. It had to be six eyes, giving your body away like that. Biting where the neck meets your shoulder together with a particular way of fucking you and hitting on the place that made you see stars could make you cum in minutes. You are thankful he is the strongest because Satoru had ruined you for any other person who existed. 

"Focus, honey."  His voice is steady, his chest heaving up and down.

If someone asked you how a mere mortal felt bringing God to his knees, you would know exactly how to explain. That's exactly how you felt fucking Satoru. Like now, with his hands on your hips, helping you sink inside further every time, your open palms resting on his chest for support. It feels powerful and mythical; his mouth parted away like that, licking his lips from time to time. Satoru is a proud moaner, loud and about - but for this time, his forehead is furrowed in concentration, and barely any noises are coming from him. If it were any other time, Satoru would have helped you or taken control when it had gotten too much for his small patience to handle, moving his hips until you were a blabbering mess.

But now, he has to be focused on not harming you. The situation is even more thrilling if you think like that. Bring a God to his knees because if you don't, he might kill you with his power.

"Satoru!" You moan, needy. A warning that you are getting close.

His white hands raise, and you watch (as always) fascinated as the bandana comes off, even forgetting about your looming orgasm. Gojo Satoru is the most attractive man you have ever seen in your entire life, and if you believe in reincarnation, about ten more lives. He has a smirk on his lips now, happy with the way he affects you. I mean, how couldn't he? 

"Domain expansion, Unlimited Void."

Everything stops. The air stops moving, and time stops. You are paralyzed, your eyes wide, feeling everything and nothing at the same time. Your mind goes blank in the total sense of that word; you can't form a single thought. You forget your name, can't remember your parents' names, or where you were born, what you do. 

At the same time, everything is being shown to you; your consciousness is there, floating lost in the sky, but you can't grasp it. The only thing you can feel is your orgasm, but even that feels like it has toned down, a small explosion the size of a jelly bean growing inside your stomach.

The next thing you know, you wake up in Satoru's arms, gasping for air, shaking, with tears coming down your eyes. You can't stop squirming, and you realize it is your orgasm, with so much energy that could light up an entire city, spreading in your veins and going back into your brain at a swift speed, amplifying your senses. Then you find yourself staring at Satoru's blue eyes, and your mind goes blank again, but not like when you were inside the Unlimited Void. No, now you can feel everything: Satoru's love, Satoru's shooting his cum inside of you, Satoru's hand gripping your hips, the scream coming out of your throat!

Satoru is murmuring something, praising you, saying he loves you, but you pass out again, and the entire world goes black. Satoru holds you, feeling your heartbeat, not placing his bandana on his eyes, your body twitching unconsciously. 

You return to him after a few minutes - if anyone asked Gojo, precisely two minutes, twenty seconds, two exact milliseconds, almost three. 

"'Toru?" Your voice sounds exhausted, grateful, and in disbelief all at the same time.

"I'm here, honey. I'm here. You are okay." He kisses your forehead, holding you tightly in his arms, still buried deep inside you.

Later, when you ask, Satoru will answer that he had felt your orgasm within you. He had never seen you so out of this world, literally dumbfucked. He won't confess he got worried for a second and ended up placing you inside his domain for ONLY one millisecond. You also won't confess yet that you wanted to try again, up to 0.3 seconds (normal humans wouldn't survive), but who cares? You want Satoru to fry your brain. Instead, you will roll your eyes at his answer, slapping his arm playfully, and he won't even turn infinite on because it is you. And who is he to ever deny you? You who finally made his life whole. 

You that had a God wrapped around your finger.

[petite-phthora]

Shouldn’t have digital evidence when you have a family of hackers

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 14]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

Text in italics and in-between ' means it is said in sign language

'For example.'

If an entire scene is written in italics, that means that that scene is a flashback.

---

When Jason glances at where Danny and Ellie were, he sees nothing. He’s too relieved to really care much about how they got out of here so quickly.

He’ll ask Danny about it later.

Probably…

“Red Hood.”

“Bitch.” Is his response.

Jason is slightly disappointed, but entirely unsurprised, by the lack of reaction he gets.

“Who were they?”

“What were those civilians doing on the roof?”

“Where did they even go?”

“Just some informants for a case I’ve been working on.” Jason says, not giving anything about them away.

“Which case?”

“Did they attack you?”

“Yeah, who took a bite out of your arm? And more importantly, how did you taste?”

“Steph, I don’t think now’s the time—”

‘Medical assistance?’

Jason follows the Bats’ gazes towards his injured arm. He resists the urge to hide it and instead crosses his arms, trying to play it off.

“No, this is from… a cat.”

“A cat?”

“Yes. A stray cat. Bit me.”

“Tch. It’s obvious Todd is incompetent when it comes to caring for animals. For it to attack you like that you must have done quite poorly. What did you do to it?” Damien glares at him in an accusatory way.

“I didn’t do shit, Demon Brat. I was just scanning the street when it bit me outta nowhere.”

“Well, excuse me if I don’t believe you, Todd. You clearly must have cornered, threatened, or hurt it in some way for it to react—"

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason cuts him off and rolls his eyes, even though none of them can see it through the helmet. The energy is there.

“Animals hate me, and I can’t take care of them for shit. Now, can we move on to why you’re all here on my turf?” Jason stares them all down.

Before anyone else can speak up, Dick starts talking.

“Can’t an elder brother just visit his younger sibling every once in a while?” Dick asks with a totally innocent grin.

“No.”

Dick shrugs. “Worth a shot.”

“While we originally came here to interrogate you about your involvement in the disappearance of the Joker, these imbeciles wanted to use the encounter as a way to simultaneously confront you about your new… beloved” Damian says, gesturing towards the others sounding completely done and unimpressed.

‘Got them flowers?’

“So how was the dinner? And the observatory? Do they like the stars? What’s their name? Hobbies? Age? Appearance? Interests?”

“Are they hot?”

“Seeing as you picked up a bouquet of sweet peas in costume, and didn’t take a detour to your apartment or safehouse before your location started glitching, I have to ask. Are you dating a civilian as Red Hood?” Babs speaks up over the comms.

Tim stays suspiciously silent, not asking any questions. Jason cuts them all off.

“Where the hell did you even get this information from?”

“Tim snitched.”

“Drake mentioned it.”

“Tim.”

“Timmy told us.”

“Red Robin informed us about your outing.”

“I hacked some cams to see you pick up the flowers, but Tim was the one to say you were on a date at the time.”

Tim raises his finger and opens his mouth as if he’s about to speak up and defend himself. He then stops, seemingly considering something before dropping his hand back down and just shrugging.

“If you didn’t want anyone to know you shouldn’t have gone out as Red Hood when getting the flowers and taking them out to dinner.

“Besides, I tried to respect your privacy and redirect everyone somewhere else to keep them off your back. But they interrogated me, and I’m sorry.” He says, not sounding sorry at all. “It just… slipped out.”

“You didn’t try that hard—"

Tim shushes Steph and cuts her off.

“Besides! Babs also stalked you! Through the cameras! And, I didn’t say that much. I just told them you were on a date.”

Jason glares at them all through the visor of his helmet. Meanwhile, Dick crosses his arms and pouts.

“Yeah, Timbers—” “No real names.” “— wouldn’t tell us anything! He used his lack of sleep against us.”

---

“So Timmy, I need you to tell me everything. Pretty please?”

Tim raises his finger and opens his mouth as if he’s about to speak up. Then his eyes roll into the back of his head and he starts falling backward.

Dick yelps and manages to catch him before he falls onto the ground and hits his head.

“Damn it, Tim!” He whines. “Passing out like that should not have been the power move that it is.”

“He can fall asleep after this?!” Steph’s incredulous voice pipes up.

Dick’s gaze moves from Tim over to where Steph was previously half-dying due to Tim’s monstrosity of a drink. She’s standing by now, clutching the mug in a death grip. She’s twitching every now and again, her foot tapping the floor rapidly.

“Ehm, Steph? You okay?”

“Mhmm, think I’m having a stroke”

“Oh, that’s not good—”

Dick cuts himself off as Steph starts to stumble. He moves closer to catch her in case she falls as well, but luckily she manages to save herself from falling, clumsily moving to sit down on the floor instead.

Once seated, she lets her back hit the floor. She also lets go of the mug, letting it spill onto and roll around the floor of the cave.

“Y’know, I think I’m just gonna stay here for a bit. Maybe do some stalactite gazing. It’s riveting stuff, I tell you!”

Dick lets out a small sigh and nods a little.

“You do you, boo”

He gets a thumbs-up in response.

---

“Why are you actually here?” He cuts them off, already done with their bullshit. “Don’t start the bullshit about the ‘date’ again. Either talk business or leave.”

He privately notes the lack of green in his vision.

They all glance at each other before Batman steps forward and speaks up.

“What is your involvement in the disappearance of the Joker.”

“I don’t have anything to do with the Joker’s disappearance” Jason vehemently denies, arms still crossed.

“Are you sure about that?” Babs’ voice pipes up over the comms.

A hologram forms above Batman’s gauntlet computer. The hologram shows a picture of Jason in his Red Hood costume without his helmet grinning at the camera. He’s holding up the camera selfie style and seems to be in one of the alleys of Crime Alley.

The most intriguing part of the picture is the figure next to Jason on the ground. There, in clear view, lies the dead body of the Joker. His head seems to be caved in in a way that shows he most likely died on impact, hit by something that had a lot of force.

Jason pauses at the sight of one of his most precious keepsakes.

“Of course you hacked my phone” He scoffs, clearly unhappy.

Jason turns back to look at the Bats and watches their reactions to the revelation the Joker is most certainly dead. Dick seems to have some sort of weight lifted off of his shoulders. Cass doesn’t give anything away.

Damian is unimpressed, scoffing at the hologram and likely already mentally criticizing the technique. Steph seems to be more relaxed, “Damn, Jason, this totally looks like that one Grant Gustin next to the grave meme,” while Tim seems to be having some kind of world-shattering epiphany.

He then eyes Batman’s tense posture. Jason shifts slightly, getting ready to fight if it comes to it.

“Red Hood. Did you kill the Joker?” Batman grinds out slowly, pinning Jason with a soul-piercing stare. Jason carefully eyes Batman’s tightened fists before locking eyes with him again.

“No,” Jason answers honestly.

Jason and Batman are locked in a stare-down, neither speaking another word. The tense silence goes on for a few seconds before it’s broken by Dick casually putting his arm around Jason’s shoulders in a friendly gesture.

“Welp. Seems like he didn’t do it, B. If he says he didn’t, I believe him.” Dick speaks up.

Jason and Batman both untense a little, the moment broken. Jason lets out a small grumble and shrugs Dick’s arm off his shoulders. Dick lets him with a smile.

“Wait, so you just found his body dead in a ditch somewhere? I called it!” Steph pipes up.

She holds her hand up for a high-five. Cass gives her one.

Jason shrugs nonchalantly “You could say that.”

“You may not have killed him, but it’s clear you’re covering for the actual murderer. Who is it and why are you protecting them?” Batman asks, not letting it go.

“You may not believe me, B, but it was just a freak accident as far as I could tell.”

If you call a meta one-punching the Joker in self-defense a ‘freak accident’.

It’s not like Danny meant to do it. Ergo: accident.

“Nothing more, nothing less. I found him like that. All I did was get rid of the body and wipe some cams. Not that those would have been much helpful if let unwiped anyway.” He shrugs, unconcerned.

“Do you know what caused the files to become corrupted this way? I’ve seen corrupted files before, but this is something else…” Babs says over the comms, tone curious.

“Nah, they were like that even before I wiped them. Might have something to do with whatever took the fucker out. Don’t know though, and I don’t care.I’m just glad the city’s finally rid of that bastard.”

“Amen to that!”

Batman’s glare moves over from Jason to Tim, who meets his gaze headfirst and just gives him an unimpressed stare in return.

“You gotta be honest, B. There’s not really anyone gonna be missing him…”

“Now, if that’s all. I gotta go. I’ve got some work to do, cases to solve, groceries to buy. Y’know, not everyone has the freedom to walk around dressed as furries beating up bad guys 24/7. Some of us have a life.” Jason cuts in.

“And since when are you the one to have a life outside of being a vigilante?”

“Oh, you know, since somewhere around the time my gruesome murder was finally avenged,” Jason says sarcastically.

“Who knew that that would be something that would make it feel like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders and that it would finally bring some peace into your life?

“Let me know if you find the guy who did it, okay? Feel like this was a great service to the community and it deserves a nice reward. Might bake ‘em a cake or something. Maybe some cookies… ” Jason pretends to think.

“Where’s the body?” Batman asks, ignoring Jason’s sarcasm.

“And when are you going to introduce us to your new partner?” Dick chimes in as well.

“Not telling you, and never if I can help it. Now, goodbye.” Jason grinds out before leaving.

Jason turns and runs to the edge of the building, making his way over to the next building and leaving the Bats behind on the roof. As he gets farther away from the other vigilantes, the last thing he hears is Steph speaking up.

“Is it just me or did that conversation involve a lot less… green-eyed rage than I expected?”

Now, it’s time to plan that next date…

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea @uraniumwizard @why-must-i-be-like-this @griffinthing @i23432i @imsotiredfanficlovertm

[captain-hawks]

Hello hello! I've recently discovered your writing and am going absolutely WILD over it, especially your kn8 fics!!

But I would love to request Kenma Kozume(timeskip) and bathroom/shower with the reader as his roommate and helps him destress after a long day of working for his company and youtubing !!

collaboration

kenma kozume x f!reader

Kenma's nearly content to ignore his accidental discovery of your late night activities...until the sight of you wearing one of his shirts snaps the last remaining fragile threads of his willpower.

wc: 1.1k

c: 18+ only, and they were roommates, streamer!kenma, camgirl!reader, (guilty) masturbation, handjob

SPICY SLEEPOVER WEEKEND — PART V

It’s a miracle, Kenma thinks to himself as he lays one palm flat against the smooth tiles of the shower wall, that he’s lasted this long.

His cock hangs erect and flushed between his legs, precum leaking from the tip, and a satisfying flood of pleasure surges through him when the fingers of his other hand close around its girth.

Eight months he’s lived with you in this two-bedroom apartment, eight months of soft, mumbled ‘good morning’s over coffee and late nights spent watching bad movies and playing video games on the couch. 

You’re his roommate.

You’re his friend.

And he’s spent the last two months trying to forget about his accidental discovery of what exactly you’d fucking meant when you grinned at his streaming set up the first day you moved in, idly commenting that you “stream on occasion, too.” The answer to his question, though incredibly belated, came in the form of your tits on his computer screen late one night as he fervently searched for material to quell the aching need tented in his sweatpants. 

He didn’t realize it was you, not at first. Not until you moved over just enough as you began to finger yourself to reveal a familiar, brightly-colored collage of posters behind your bed. 

Kenma likes to think he’s been a decent roommate—he’s gone to whatever lengths necessary to think of anything but the swell of your perky tits and the sight of the slick arousal staining the inside of your thighs while he’s jerked off in the days since. He even blocked his own access to the website you stream on to avoid any future misclicks driven by selfish temptation and curiosity.

(Kuroo laughed so hard he cried when he told him and proceeded to call him a masochistic idiot.)

He might have even been able to move on past the entire thing unscathed…if he hadn’t stumbled out of his room today after streaming a grueling, infuriating six-hour-long raid to the sight of you bent over in front of the fridge wearing nothing but a t-shirt and pale pink cotton panties.

That still was nearly a recoverable offense, if not for the goddamn fact that the black t-shirt in question was his.

Even now, with his eyes firmly screwed shut as hot water pours down his back, the sight of KODZUKEN written in large, white letters across your shoulders is an insistent, hungry echo against the darkness of his eyelids. 

Just this once—

Kenma lets himself remember the way your tits bounced as you scooted back across your mattress, the shape of your pert nipples, the way your hips arched up off of the bed when you slipped two fingers into your cunt. 

All the blood in his body rushes to his cock. His head drops against the tiles, water sliding down the damp strands of his hair as steam fills the room. His balls ache.

He’s a fucking terrible roommate.

Kenma strokes his cock and bites his fist and wonders if you’d let him come all over your tits. 

(He wonders if you’d wear that shirt while he fucks you.)

He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be fucking his fist wishing he was sinking his cock into the tight, wet heat of your cunt. His chest shouldn’t be heaving at the thought of burying his face between your thighs and lapping at your swollen pussy until you’re whimpering from overstimulation.

And suddenly, as disasters often go, a few unfortunate events occur simultaneously—

The bathroom door Kenma left unlocked in the midst of his frustration bursts open.

You loudly announce that you need to brush your teeth quickly.

And Kenma groans your fucking name while he’s pumping his throbbing shaft, the sound easily carrying across the bathroom tiles.

Kenma freezes, and everything goes silent, save for the sound of the running water pouring from the shower head. 

“Don’t stop on my account.”

He gapes, turning to look at the shadow on the other side of the frosted glass of the shower door.

“Can I help?” you continue when he doesn’t respond.

Kenma knows he’s never quite had a way with words, but now he’s well and truly at a fucking loss in this moment. 

“Why?”

Your soft laugh goes straight to his dick. “Because I want to.”

When the shower door slides open partway, you’re still wearing his shirt, and Kenma allows himself a brief moment to freely take in the sight before him. 

“Hope you don’t mind I borrowed this,” you tell him, lips quirking upward in a smile as you tilt your head to the side slightly. “I may have accidentally left something in your drawer to make up for it.”

Kenma blinks, but he doesn’t have time to ponder over what you mean, because a moment later, you’re leaning into the shower just enough to wrap a hand around his shaft. He exhales roughly, taking a step backward, the door of the shower pressing into his shoulder blades as he turns his head to the side to glance at you.

He’s so hard, it hurts.

You run your teeth over your bottom lip as you stroke him, fingers deftly sliding up and down his length, breathy sighs leaving your lips as he gives in to the urge to rock his hips forward into your touch.

“Have you been watching my streams?” you ask him, lips hovering against the shell of his ear.

“Once,” he exhales sharply as your fingers clasp his balls before stroking from his base to his tip, thumb sliding over the precum that continues to steadily leak out.

You smile at him, like you know how fucking hard he’s been trying to maintain some modicum of respect for you as his friend. And then you send all of his good intentions spiraling in to a fucking ditch—

“That’s a shame. Personally, I like watching yours right before I stream.”

He knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s never been this hard in his life, not when your fingers are wrapped around his cock in the shower while openly admitting that you livestream yourself masturbating to him playing video games.

And because you clearly know no mercy, you tack on, for good measure:

“We could collaborate…”

Kenma comes so hard he nearly blacks out, his hips sloppily jerking into the grip of your fist as he slams both hands against the wall and groans, hot, sticky ropes of cum spurting from his cock and painting the gray tiles below.

—

Later, after Kenma finds a lacy, red thong nestled amongst the shirts in his dresser, he doesn’t feel bad at all when he fucks his fist with it wrapped around his cock.

—

And while he’s not quite ready to run the risk of someone on your streaming site recognizing Kodzuken while you’re whimpering and gasping as you ease yourself down into his length, his viewers are none the wiser when you take his dick into your mouth from beneath his keyboard in the middle of his next raid. 

[elysianymph]

my unpopular marauders opinions

(i'm scared 😟)

'nothing is ooc bc we know nothing about the characters!' might work with the girl characters and the lesser known ones but it does not fly when we are talking about the marauders and other characters like barty, regulus, etc. we have so much (biased) information on these characters and you can't erase all they were in the original text bc you want to make an oc in the marauders era.

sirius is literally one of the most interesting characters in the fandom and i hate how he's been dumbed down to regulus' brother or remus' boyfriend depending on who's pov we're reading. what happened to cool sirius and why has he become a loser who follows remus around like a lapdog??? what happened to casanova sirius who all the girls were into but he never paid them any attention??? what happened to the sirius who risked his life and ran away bc he refused to become like his parents??? and why has been reduced to a whimpering mess who cries bc remus is mean to him (ooc on remus' part too). you're lying to yourselves if you think sirius wouldn't start throwing hands the moment remus insulted him. i need to write an entire separate post for this bc it makes me viscerally angry when i see him portrayed like this. who decided that giving remus all of sirius' main character traits was a good idea??

similarly, remus has become so boring. he has literally become the toxic love interest in a werewolf story please STOP IT. i'm tired of remus constantly yelling and calling other people (specifically sirius) worthless or hitting their deepest insecurities but it's all justified bc it's the full moon and he's angry and emotional. it's overdone, it's toxic, it's boring and i don't want to see it. my remus will forever be a an old sweater-wearing, bookworm people pleaser who wanted nothing more than to have friends who loved him despite who he was and he treasured them so dearly when he found them. he carried extra pens and quills in his bag because he knew peter always forgot his, he always came to james' games to cheer him on despite not being interested in quidditch. idk what you people find appealing about remus thinking sirius is a nuisance or annoying when they're dating but it's not <3 he spent years staring at sirius' back during class and being satisfied to just be in his presence because he didn't think he deserved any of it. how could he wish for more when sirius was wrapping an arm around him and whispering the plan to their newest prank? you want me to think the shy boy who looked away anytime sirius made eye contact with him was a smooth talker who found sirius annoying?? at this point he's an oc with remus' face be fr

sirius >>> regulus any day. cry about it

speaking of regulus i hate how the fandom has characterized him. you've created sirius 2.0 with his storyline (while simultaneously slandering sirius' character) and then made him an emo version of remus' already awful characterization. he's not an uwu victim who begged his brother to come with him, he was a blood supremacist who was probably overjoyed that the stain on his family tree was gone. 'i hate you but i love you' describes the black brothers perfectly but that 'but' doesn't undo the hatred they feel for each other. sibling relationship are so complex, especially in a family like theirs, and their relationship would've been turbulent. by the time sirius had ran away i fully believe the hate they felt for each other was bigger than any love they had left. regulus who is a manipulative asshole, regulus who is actively trying to get rid of sirius so he can get to be the heir he thinks he deserves to be will always be more interesting than the way regulus is written in most jegulus fics.

also james would've literally bullied regulus. it's the truth

also, let james be an asshole! let james be a bully! he was a teenager for fucks sake let him be mean and cruel! give him an ego the size of the sun and nothing else to 'make it better'. he was an only child raised in a pureblood family, i would be more surprised if he didn't turn out to be a narcissistic teenager. he was talented and spoiled and wanted everyone to agree with him bc he had never been brought down to earth from his high horse. let him be messy. i don't understand why the fandom has such a problem with complex characters

this fandom hates on severus too much while babygirl-ifying characters who have done the same or worse than him. was he an asshole? yes. was he also a really interesting character that people choose to ignore or push aside bc he's not conventionally attractive? yes. you've idolized barty and evan and regulus, characters who are also canonically death eaters and have done unforgivable things, yet you continue to hate on severus because?? i don't like him either but commenting 'stan bambi' on every single severus edit is a bit too much effort for a character you claim to not give a shit about :/

remus would NOT be friends with barty, evan and regulus. he's a loser and those three would bully him to death

'i wish people would make more marauders era girls content-' 💥💥💥make it yourself. there is PLENTLY of girls content all you need to do is look in the tags (but oh wait you can't look in the tags bc no one in this fandom has apparently heard of fandom etiquette and they're all tagging every ship under the sun on a post about jegulus. trust me, if i wanted to see jegulus content i would go in their tag. now stop tagging it with dorlene and marylily)

idk if this one is that unpopular cause i've seen it around quite a bit recently but the lupins are literally one of the best families and they are so underrated. the relationships between hope and remus and lyall and remus and the effects that remus' lycanthropy has on them is always on my mind fr. you don't need to give every character mommy/daddy issues to make them interesting or complex ❤️

the prank is SO overdone. like every post prank fic is the same shit and i'm tired. sirius felt no remorse, remus called it an unfunny prank, get over it. it can be interesting to explore (especially sirius' thoughts during it and how remus deals with the consequences of one of his best friends betraying him) but so many times the prank has just been used to justify writing remus being so so incredibly shitty to sirius and poking at his every insecurity that at this point i don't even want to read about it anymore. remus had every right to be mad but once again you're ignoring the canon characterization just to make him seem like a badass when he would absolutely not confront sirius about it.

'[girl character] is just the female version of [male character]' literally makes me want to bite someone's head off. how is it that you have time to create whole new personalities for james, sirius, remus and every other male character under the sun but lily, mary, dorcas or marlene don't get that treatment?? slapping sirius' old characterization on marlene or remus' old characterization on lily doesn't make for compelling characters but none of you care enough to actually flesh these women out and make them something more. it's no wonder people complain about them being boring when the main fanon is just slapping on a guy's personality onto them but make it misogynistic. if you can give regulus an entire backstory and justify his every action then you can give the girls some interesting character traits in your works be fr.

rudy solos grant chapman 🫶🏻

[cannedbeefaroni]

March Of The Pigs: The Bad Touch Pt. 2 (Edward Nashton X Reader)

Part 1

Summary: You can't save Edward Nashton when the whole system is rigged against its patients. Desperate times call for desperate measures

Content: SMUT 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, MEDICAL MALPRACTISE, MANIPULATION, POWER IMBALANCE (for those reasons, i consider this fic to be DUBCON), VIOLENCE, Reader and Edward have a bit of a role reversed Harley Quinn and Joker dynamic, Edward is described to struggle with hypersexuality and paraphilias (based on how the reader is described, they also have those issues), handjob, penetrative sex (not specified whether its anal or vaginal), exhibitionism (public sex), physical restraints, degradation

Y/N is referred to in second person as you/yours and is written to be entirely gender neutral.

(I'm sorry this is pretty short)

You were so fucking sick. Sick of yourself trying to assimilate into this corrupt, archaic environment, thinking you had any sort of power to be the change you wanted to see. You thought working at Arkham Asylum would give you the opportunity to help the outcasts and undesirables of society. It was stupid of you to assume that would ever be the case. All you achieved was becoming a pon in a system that only benefits the top 1%. There was no such thing as helping anybody, only imprisonment and torturous treatment, pretending to the rest of the world that something good was being done. You weren’t better, you realize how selfish you had become at the hands of this job. At this point, you weren’t even sure who was to blame: you, the given circumstances, or Edward Nashton. You knew what he was capable of, so it infuriated you seeing how small and weak he chose to become. Watching him be manhandled by guards on nearly a daily basis made you want to vomit. The worst of it had to be that one time you had the misfortune of seeing the nurses physically restrain him to the floor as they forced medication down his throat. You had a horrific epiphany that you never felt real empathy in your life until now. Knowing that for years you had seen all this occur and simply looked away, you hated yourself for it.

The day you had lost your job was the biggest relief of your life, but simultaneously the worst thing to ever happen. You’ll admit that it was probably unethical to perform sexual acts on your patient, but at a certain point you just stopped caring. You didn’t value working there anymore. You were able to engage with Edward inappropriately in three different sessions before you were found out, the last time being caught on camera in irrefutable evidence. 

The first time you met with him after the incident began, you were extremely cautious, aware that you had gotten overzealous the last time. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, you touched him again. He was even more eager this time about it, body shaking as he fucked your fist. Keeping your head down, you pretended that the interaction was purely professional. Your face stayed dead straight as your body internally screamed for relief. His tip turned red as precum pooled from his aching dick. You must have unintentionally leaned in closer, because you could feel his heavy breaths on your face as you kept your head down. Then he kissed you, catching you off guard. He leaned down, catching your lips with his, tilting his head to the side as his mouth dropped open, forcing his tongue into your mouth. He couldn’t hold you, since his hands were cuffed behind his back as per usual, but you didn’t pull away. You knew you should’ve pushed him away, but you just sat there, letting him make out with you as you unenthusiastically tugged on his dick. You felt miserable, knowing you were nothing but his therapist as he shot ropes of cum on your shirt, then it pooled over your hand. Near tears, he apologized profusely, but you insisted it was alright. You rushed to the bathroom after that session, desperately trying to wash your shirt in the sink, but you could only do so much, and ended up going the rest of the day in a soiled, damp shirt. 

During your last encounter with Edward, you were acutely aware that this arrangement couldn’t last much longer. You couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone knew what you were doing with him. Even though you felt your days were numbered, you decided against your better judgment to risk it all, going as far as possible. You put him inside you, and he didn’t stop you. Leaning back in his seat as far as his arms cuffed around the back would let him, you sat on his lap with his legs spread open, and you fucked him. He hissed viscerally behind you, tensing every muscle in his body as he resisted the urge to scream from the feeling of how mercilessly you viced him. Leaning forward, holding yourself up against the table, you rode his dick, and no matter how slow you went, the chair clanked against the floor. You hung your head, staring at your feet as you two desperately thrusted into each other. His tip prodded deep inside you, feeling as if every organ in your stomach was reacting to his penetration. Despite trying to keep the pace slow, he kept going faster, and you didn’t have the willpower to deny it. 

“You’re doing so well,” you praised him, for the first time in a genuine tone. You sounded disheveled and breathless. 

“You’re a shitty fucking therapist,” he chuckles cruelly. Head spinning back, you glare at him, eyes glossed over. That was probably your biggest mistake. Looking him desperately in the eyes as he degraded you so viciously. There was never a point in your life where you came that hard. It was almost numbing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming out in pure ecstasy. Soon after he came inside, filling you up so much it was dripping down your legs when you stood up. 

“I’m sorry, Edward. I’ll make things right, I promise,” you said as the session finished, and you dressed the two of you back up before leaving, allowing the guards to take him back to his cell. 

Soon after you were called into your boss’ office. You didn’t need to go to know you were fired, but you did anyway. It was probably the most humiliating moment of your life, but on the plus side, they’d keep this incident a secret.Apparently what you had done was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen in the history of the asylum. It seemed they cared more about a public image than morality. You were told to never speak of it and move on. Somehow, that outcome was even worse than you expected. The truth was finally revealed to you: that there was no saving this abomination. There was no guilt or questioning what you were about to do. 

It was disgustingly simple, sneaking into places you didn’t belong, stealing a ring of keys from an unsuspecting guard, and just playing a guessing game of which one would unlock the button in the control room that would unlock all of the cells. The guards were all underpaid and undertrained, making the simple act of carrying out the plan right under their noses a breeze. One of them asked what you were doing, but all you had to do was flash your ID, which you hadn’t turned in like you were just told to. 

The moment the cover was lifted and the button was hit, you had mere minutes to carry out the rest of your plan as the emergency sirens blared. You were free to find Edward’s cell. Just like all the others, his cell door was wide open, and he was standing in the doorway, confused and scared. You run straight towards him, almost knocking him over as you collide. He tries to protest, stuttering as you grab his hands and bolt down the corridor, taking him with you. Finding a fire extinguisher on a wall, you smashed the glass with your fist and hauled it into your arms, slowing down, allowing security to catch up, but you swung it around, hitting one of them in the stomach with intense force. You and Edward continued your escape as you located any room with windows that weren’t barred in. Finding the office you were just fired in, the door was left wide open, so you ran in and threw the fire extinguisher through the window. 

This was the worst possible escape route, as the window led to a steep drop into the ocean. It probably wouldn’t kill you, but you didn’t have an option as you only had mere seconds to act before the two of you would be apprehended. Edward was petrified, but didn’t hesitate when you grabbed him, throwing him out the window, as well as yourself. 

It felt like you had died. The only feeling in your body was how cold it was, but the moment you realized you weren’t getting air, your survival instincts reacted, and you started moving again, peaking your head from the murky water before you could drown. Red flashing lights were reflecting in the pitch black water of the harbor. You could feel something brush along your leg, and your heart sunk when you realized it was Edward, still underwater. You dived in, reaching for him until you finally got a grasp on the scruff of his shirt. Pulling him up, his face peaked into the air, and for a moment he was completely still. You shook him as hard as you could, even slapping his face to wake him up, then he started hacking and coughing violently. His face was bleeding, and his glasses were missing entirely, leading you to assume they broke and cut him up. Holding onto him, you began swimming toward the nearest infrastructure in the water, needing something to hold onto so you wouldn’t drown from fatigue. Hiding in the water under the docks seemed like the safest option for now. 

Arkham was ignited with chaos as the freed inmates rampaged the island. Your head was so full of water you could barely hear the gunshots and violence occurring. You clung for dear life to a filthy algae covered wooden support. Edward was clinging to you, his head hinged on your shoulder. He was crying, and you didn’t know why it shocked you. You forced this upon him, now it was your responsibility to save him.

[laylajeffany]

Not an ask, but, I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through Chaos for the Fly, and it is truly one of the greatest things I've ever read. It has made me laugh, cry, and every emotion in between. I have spent the whole time learning alongside Wednesday to love and care for myself. You've expressed out loud feelings of my autism and anxiety that I never could before, I've never read panic attacks more accurately written, and simultaneously you've taught me how to begin coping with them. The way you so vividly separate the voices of different characters, the way you describe every emotion so perfectly that leaves me feeling like I'm right there in the moment. The depth that you add to all the canon characters without taking away from their original personalities, the way all of your OC's fit so perfectly into the story, every single one of them mattering, not a single line, character or scene is unnecessary. I long for family like Josie and Emi, but in a way, just reading about them makes me feel they're talking to and teaching ME. Somehow on top of all that you wrote one of the most beautiful and realistic slow burn romances, It never feels rushed, no intimate touch or comment feels out of place, and yet you're constantly hoping for more. Then, once they are finally together they continue to have a beautiful and ever evolving dynamic, which is where a lot of other authors fall short in my eyes. The way you show Wednesday's comfort level with every character not just Enid, combines with her autism and uniquely affects each individual dynamic shows such and intimate level of understanding, it's so incredibly impressive. I think you may have ruined season 2 for me when it does eventually come out, simply because even with Jenna Ortega as a producer, it could never be as good as what you've written. and so I thank you. Thank you for writing this beautiful, spiritual, mental, and emotional journey. I hope for nothing more than that you keep continuing this story beyond chaos for the fly because I don't think I'll ever be ready for your writing to be over.

Thank you so much for this!! Slow-burn on a realistic timeline, organic character development and a meaningful portrayal of emotional struggle in a hyper-fantastic setting are my passion. I’m glad it’s resonated with you! Writing OCs is always a gamble but people really seemed to resonate Josie and Emiliana for certain (as well as others but I hear about them the most). I’ve ruined S2 for myself, truthfully and if Gwendoline Christie really isn’t in it, I’m not sure if T. Martel and I will even be watching lmfao. (This entire fic started in a parking lot at the mall when she was lamenting about needing Larissa Weems to live and I mumbled, “I guess I could write something.” HAHAHAHAHAHA.)

The good news is that I’m still playing around in this universe, I’m almost 50k into chapter one of the sequel and I think that it might actually end up being longer than I anticipated originally (just like the other fic I’m working on goddamn it I did try to make new year’s resolutions about this but it seems like I’m breaking them). I don’t think anyone is going to be mad about it! 

Thanks for reading and for letting me know how it’s impacted you! Happy to have helped in some small way. 

[stormblessed95]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "stormblessed95 "?

I'm stormblessed because of this Ultra badass super sad boy right here.... Kaladin Stormblessed has my entire fucking heart for the rest of my life

Art by Ro

95 for vmin 🥰

Some of my favorite fics! In no particular order:

Blame it on my Youth by youreyestheyglow

Paring: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

10 years after the end of The King's Men, Andrew and Neil have decided to foster a kid. They have low expectations for themselves--they're not exactly ideal parenting material--but at the very least, the kid will be safe with them. But neither Andrew nor Neil do temporary very well.

Full disclosure: highly character-driven, minimally plot-driven.

TW: If you suffer from paranoia, this is probably not the fic for you. Specifically, Neil has bunches of paranoia regarding being watched, and also being murdered.

Locked fic, so you need an account. Words: 1,520,605 and a WIP too.... Lmao I know....but it's SO GOOD. I'm just.... It's so damn good y'all. Basically just andriel growing and healing together, being so deeply in love, their adult lives and becoming parents and helping those children heal from their traumas too. Just gorgeously beautiful and I love it.

That Isn't Nothing by Taekookschanbaek

Pairing: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

A look into the lives of pro exy players Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. The world says they hate each other, but when Andrew gets transferred to Neil's team, their teammates begin seeing something else between them.

Words: 38,362, don't be thrown by the author name. I KNOW okay. But like damn, the fic is so fucking good. Ive read it multiple times. Its solid story telling with outsider POV and I just eat it up! Protective boyfriends and secret relationships and soft for each other moments. It's so good

The One-Body Problem by metisket

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life. The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

This fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it all the time. It's got the juniors dynamics, it's got the most wholesome bonding stuff, it's got Jingyi being himself and so loveable. So wholesome. So cute. 10 outta 10 fic honestly. Words: 28,689

Rotten Work by @shanastoryteller

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

Jin Ling hadn’t thought to keep track of Wei Wuxian. Clearly that had been a mistake.

so good. Just amazing uncle and nephew bonding that gives me literally ALL OF THE FEELS. I read this and then went and read everything else this author has written. Such good storytelling!! And this was just both wholesome and emotional and fun! Amazing fic, truly. Words: 63,907

Stunted, Starving Juvenility by @tomatenmark5

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

At sixteen Wei Wuxian is—through some strange twist of fate, or a nick in the layer between parallel universes, who knows—out of the blue confronted with that one incense burner dream one night.

While his curious mind is left unable to stop poking at this new perspective on Lan Wangji, circumstances in the Cloud Recesses begin to change and Wei Wuxian is suddenly presented with life-altering opportunities.

Maybe Gusu isn’t so bad after all?

(Or alternatively: The fic where I get to give Wei Wuxian the academic scholarship he deserves while simultaneously getting him hitched early on.)

Might just be one of my all time favorite fics/stories. It's still technically a WIP but it's soo good. Don't let that stop you. It's so long too. But that's just even more story to love. I can't say enough good things lol words: 742,856 (I know, don't be intimidated though! Lol)

And Time is But a Paper Moon by Sami

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened."

Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal.

"You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?"

Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now."

***

Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.

My favorite time travel fix it fic. It's genuinely SO GOOD I love it and I love all the sequel stories that come after it!! Words: 139,032

The File by Denimbeans

Pairing: Percy Jackson/Bucky Barnes

Fandom: PJO, Marvel

When Percy stepped out of the elevator, Hazel wanted to weep. His clothing was tattered, hair matted with blood, and he was covered head to toe in golden dust. But he was alive. It took her a few minutes to realize that he was alone.

Before she died, she'd heard reports on the radio about soldiers who came home. Shellshock, they called it, from being in the trenches, the bombs and the bullets and the dead. Hazel had met soldier, once. A man who'd come home to her little town, missing half his leg and most of his mind. The look in his eyes was hauntingly similar to what she saw on her cousin's face.

Percy was different now. Stronger, maybe. He'd made it through Hell, but not without leaving a piece of him behind.

I honestly didn't know if I'd like this one when I started lol but I loved it. The ANGST WAS SO HEAVY AND SO GOOD. tw for annabeth not making it out of tarturus alive in this fic. PJO and Marvel/Shield mash up and honestly I'm just so down for badass Percy fics. Especially when we see him from another POV where he looks so scary but in his head he is the softest most traumatized boy. Percy is everything to me. Lol and I ship percabeth so hard so this was an outlier fic to me 😂 the blurb there is from the first story, I linked the whole series.

The One Where Nico Has 30 Boyfriends by a_million_stars

Pairing: Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

“Seriously? Me and Lester?” Nico looked ready to kill him. “If you keep speaking to me I think I’m going to throw up.”

Or, a new friend from college desperately tries to figure out who Nico's secret boyfriend is. He messes up. A lot. If only Nico didn't have so many weirdly close friends from high school.

Just wholesome adorable cuteness with some outsider POV, which y'all should be able to tell I LOVE by now

Mortals, Meet Demigods by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Pairing: Annabeth/Percy, Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

Life isn’t easy for any teenager, but when you’re half-god, the word “easy” loses all meaning. Nine different mortals start to understand that.

Just cute wholesome outsider POV into the most precious of characters

Like Everything Glows by Annie_vi

Pairing: Jimin/Jungkook

Fandom: BTS

Jeon Jeongguk watches the sun rise and set on the water every day without wondering what may lie far beneath the surface. One nighttime walk along the beach upheaves his entire life, sending his human morals into a tailspin as he questions what his beliefs really are.

The first fic I read by Annie and still my favorite. I think about this story all the time lol. She is one of the very very few people I will read RPS fics from because her storytelling is just so immaculately beautiful. I love the way she writes. Truly. I need her to get published one day

@skygemspeaks retirement AU thread and every single fic it sparked inspiratiom for.

Seriously they linked TONS of them under their post and I read and obsessed over every single one and then went looking for more. Lmfao

Pairing: Yuuri/Victor

Fandom: Yuuri on Ice

Link to their Tumblr post:

Wrapping it up with @pekgna illustrated coffee shop AU that I'm so obsessed with.

Pairing: Shallan/Adolin/Kaladin

Fandom: Stormlight Archive

OT3 when Shallan and Adolin seduce Kaladin, their barista into becoming their boyfriend lol just perfection and adorable and the art is amazing!

Link to the start of the AU on Tumblr here:

Enjoy if you read them, let me know if you like them!!! And always feel free to give me fic recs as well especially if you want to send them to my side blog where I try to keep most of my conversations about books and fics now. My anon asks are on there. I've reblogged a few over there too. @moonofthesurvivor

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Fifty One

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends,

As always, thank you so much for your love on this fic! Now we are past chapter 50 it felt like time for another new banner, so I hope you like it!

Also, this chapter of SGW makes my overall word count on AO3 tip over into 1.7 million....which is absurd. That means I am now about 35k words away from having written more words for Hotchniss than there are words in the entire Game of Thrones 'A Song of Fire and Ice' series!! Again...absurd haha

Whilst this chapter, and the next couple in this story, are quite domestic and fluffy....we do have some more drama and hurt/comfort to come.

Please do let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.9k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily blows out a steady breath as she lifts Lily out of her car seat and holds her against her chest. 

“You ready?”

She turns to look at Aaron, the understanding smile on his face going some way to make her feel slightly less ridiculous, but not entirely curing the mix of anxiety and guilt swirling in her gut. 

It was her first day back at work. The past few months had flown by. The days had been long, sometimes drawn out with very little sleep and a type of exhaustion she hadn’t known existed, but now looking back on it she couldn’t believe her maternity leave was over. Surgery and a traumatic birth she knew she still hadn’t entirely processed felt like they had happened both a lifetime ago and just yesterday simultaneously. 

Emily nods tightly, even though she feels anything but, and she watches as he grabs the diaper bag out of the back of her car and then closes the door for her. They’d driven in separately since he had to go straight to the jet once they dropped off Lily for her first day in daycare. Emily had heard something she refused to call panic rise up in her chest as she was making sure she’d packed enough milk for Lily when she heard Aaron’s phone ring. A call at that time in the morning only ever meant one thing - a case, and the thought of dropping their little girl off for the first time, by herself, made her more anxious than staring down a serial killer ever had. 

She was sure she’d never loved her husband more than when she heard him say he’d meet the team on the jet, that he had something important to do first. It was one of the moments when she was strangely grateful that she was his second wife, his second chance. He had taken the lessons he’d learnt from the mistakes in his marriage to Haley and was doing what he could to make things right now. 

Aaron wraps his arm around Emily, his hand on her shoulder as he guides her into the daycare centre. It was the best one in the state, something that made him feel infinitely better about leaving his little girl here, and mercifully close to work. He knew this was one of the occasions when he had to be the strong one. All of Emily’s nerves and doubts, things that she only let him see, were just beneath her skin, her whole body vibrating with them if he looked close enough. He could push his own feelings down so he could assure her that everything would be fine, that their daughter would spend her day with people trained to look after her. 

He smiles as the daycare director approaches them. They’d met her, a kind woman called Jane Martin, once when they came to register Lily. There was an air of reassurance to her, something that seemed unflappable, but Aaron knew that would do nothing to help his wife through the next few minutes. 

“Mr and Mrs Hotchner,” Jane says, her smile wide as she walks over, “It’s so lovely to see you,” she turns her attention to Lily, the baby still snuggled in her mother’s arms, “And hello Lily, you somehow got even prettier than the last time I saw you.” 

In any other circumstances, Aaron is sure he’d laugh at how his wife holds Lily even tighter, an unnecessary defence mechanism towards the woman they were paying to look after her. He knows now isn’t the time and he clears his throat to cover it, passing the diaper bag over to Jane. 

“She ate about 45 minutes ago,” he says, returning his hand to his wife’s lower back, his palm warm through her shirt, “And we’ve labelled the milk up as you instructed.”

Jane nods as she hangs the bag over her shoulder, “I’ll make sure it all gets put in the fridge,” she says, turning back to look at Emily, who was still holding Lily as if she was going to be snatched from her. Jane’s smile turns sympathetic, and Aaron is sure this is something she sees on a daily basis, “Well Lily,” she says, stepping closer, “I think Mommy and Daddy need to go to work.” 

There’s a moment of silence, and Emily feels her throat go dry, her heartbeat loud in her head. It was ridiculous, a pull she didn’t understand, but all she wanted to do was run out the front door and take her baby with her. She knew she needed to do this, that her work was part of who she was, part that she had missed in the last few months, but right now, the part of her that wanted to keep her daughter with her at all times was threatening to win out. 

“Sweetheart?” 

Aaron’s voice and the way his touch on her back gets more insistence draws her back into the moment, and she clears her throat and nods. She tilts her head down to look at Lily, her heart seizing in her chest as her little girl smiles at her. She kisses her forehead and then her cheek, breathing her in like it wouldn’t be a matter of hours until she sees her again.

“Mommy loves you very much,” she says, her lips still pressed against her daughter’s soft cheek, “And I’ll be back to pick you up later, okay?” She kisses her again and pulls back, her lips shaking as she smiles, “I love you.” 

Aaron smiles at the sight of them together, something he could never tire of, and his eyebrows start to furrow as he realises his wife is making absolutely no attempt to hand the baby over to either him or Jane. He clears his throat, getting his wife’s attention, “Em-”

“I think you’re going to have to take her from me,” she says, her voice cracking slightly, a sure sign she would lose control of her emotions the second they stepped out into the parking lot, “I…I can’t let go.” 

He nods, briefly squeezing her hip to let her know he understood, and then he reaches for Lily, “Come here Lily-pad,” he says, noting the distinct lack of his wife’s chastisement that usually followed his use of the nickname she hates. He takes a moment to hold Lily close, to press a kiss to her cheek, his heart clenching in his chest as she giggles, one of his favourite sounds in the world, “Daddy loves you too, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.” 

He smiles at Jane as he passes Lily to her, his fingers twitching to take her back as soon as she’s no longer in his embrace. Instead, he wraps his arm around his wife, holding her slightly tighter than he usually would in a public setting just in case she tried to bolt. 

“You have our numbers if you need anything,” Emily says, her eyes fixed on her daughter as she speaks to Jane, “I’ll just be a few miles away, I can come any time.” 

Jane nods patiently, once again obviously very used to this, to the difficulty parents had in letting go, and she smiles, “Of course Mrs Hotchner,” she shifts Lily so she’s facing them a little better, holding her tiny wrist up and helping her wave at her parents, “Say bye bye Lily.”

Emily and Aaron say goodbye simultaneously and she feels rooted to the spot until Aaron starts to turn her, his hand gentle but firm on her as he guides her back into the parking lot. As soon as the door is closed, as soon as they are alone, she wraps her arms around him tightly, sinking into the comfort he willingly gives her. 

“She’ll be fine, baby,” he assures her, stamping a kiss to the side of her head as he runs a hand up and down her back, “We picked this place because it’s the best, remember?” 

She nods against him and sniffs. She pulls back and wipes a stray tear from her cheek, shaking her head at herself as she does so, “I feel ridiculous for crying,” she says, an edge of frustration in her voice. She looks back into the building but she can’t see Lily anymore and she blows out a breath, “It’s stupid but I miss her already.”

“It isn’t ridiculous or stupid,” he assures her, wiping a tear from her cheek as he cups it to make her look at him, “I feel the same way. Do you want to know why?” He asks and she nods, drawing a small smile out of him, “It’s because we’re her parents.”

She chuckles humourlessly, “Does it get any easier?” 

Even though she missed Jack whenever he wasn’t around, this felt different. It had always been a part of her relationship with the boy she loved as her own - saying hello and then see you soon, something she was used to. She’d never been separated from Lily for more than a couple of hours at most, and she’d missed her every second. 

“No,” Aaron says, wiping another tear from her face, smiling when she frowns at him, “It doesn’t.” 

She scoffs, “You couldn’t lie to me?” 

He leans in and presses a kiss to her lips, “Never have, never will.” 

She hums and leans into him, wrapping her arms around his middle as she rests her cheek against his jacket, any usual concerns about getting make up on his suit nowhere to be found. 

“Tell me something good?”

He smiles and cups the back of her head, his fingers tangled in hair she still complained was too short, “In a few hours you’ll go pick her up and you’ll be able to tell her all about how amazing your first day at work was, and how her mommy is a superhero.” 

She pulls back and smiles at him, biting on the inside of her cheek in an attempt to contain it, “You’re sweet,” she checks the time on her watch over his shoulder, “And you’re also late.” 

He kisses her again, “You’re sure you’re okay?” 

She nods, even though she’s not sure, and she kisses him before she pulls back, “I’ll be fine,” she says as she steps towards her car, “Be safe. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” he replies, digging his keys out of his pocket, “Let me know how your first day goes.” 

She winks at him and blows him a kiss as she gets into her car. She pulls the door closed behind her and spots the empty car seat in her rearview mirror. She closes her eyes and gives herself a moment, blowing out a slow steady breath as she tries to force herself from the mindset she’d been in for weeks into the one she’d had for years. 

She opens her eyes and looks at the car seat’s reflection again before meeting her own eyes in the mirror. She was Emily Hotchner, wife and mother, and she had to remember how to be Emily Prentiss, FBI Special Agent all over again.

She just hoped the day would come when she’d be able to feel like both without feeling like she was failing at one of them. 

___

Emily is torn from sleep by a familiar sound, her daughter’s cries waking her up what felt like mere minutes after she’d finally drifted off. She struggled to sleep without Aaron next to her, the warmth of his body, the safety of his embrace, allowing her to relax and rest in ways she would have once thought impossible. She missed him when he was away on cases, the luxury they’d once had of always being together when she was still on the team something that was in the past.

Her first day back at work had been good. It felt strange to be part of a new team, to get to know people whose faces she’d seen before around the office but had never spoken to more than polite conversation in the kitchen or elevator. She felt out of sorts and out of practice, trying to balance proving her worth, something her language skills had done almost immediately like when she joined the BAU, and pumping milk in the bathroom before her breasts felt like they were going to explode. 

The relief she’d felt at the end of the day when she’d picked Lily up was palpable. A tightness in her chest that had only loosened the second she saw her little girl, when she held her in her arms. Aaron had called at the time he knew they’d be getting home even though he was busy with work trying to pin down a spree killer in the midwest. 

Emily groans as she sits up, blearily rubbing her eyes as she looks at the time, noting it had only been about 90 minutes since she’d last checked it.  She smiles at Lily as she leans over the bassinet and picks her up, shushing the infant by instinct, her lips against her forehead as she settles back onto the bed with her daughter on her chest. 

“Mommy’s got you, sweet girl,” she says, whispering even though it was only the two of them in the house, both of them now awake despite the unsociable hour, “What’s wrong, huh?” Lily continues to cry, one of her tiny fists in her mouth as she turns her head towards Emily’s chest. Emily chuckles softly as she adjusts her hold on the baby, unbuttoning her pyjama shirt so she can start to feed her daughter, “Daddy always says you’re like me,” she says, shifting Lily so latches on, the sensation, although still painful at times, was something Emily was used to now, the strangeness that had once existed with it long gone, “But he’s always hungry just like you,” she says, stroking Lily’s cheek, “And you both have a thing for my breasts.” 

She leans back against the headrest and lets out a yawn, her eyes fixed on her daughter as she eats. When it was just the two of them like this she couldn’t help but wonder about what it was like when she was as young as Lily. If her mother had woken up in the night with her, or if the nannies Emily remembered from her earliest memories had always been around. There were so many gaps in her knowledge of when she was a baby, questions she’d never been able to ask her mother, their relationship not one that allowed for queries about whether she’d been breastfed or not, whether she’d been fussy or slept through the night. It was hard to imagine either of her parents getting up with her, impossible to picture them exhausted as the baby who turned out to be their only child kept them up all night. 

She couldn’t picture them looking at her the way she looked at Lily, awe and love and adoration seeping out of every pore no matter the time of day or night. 

She knew her parents loved her, that there must have been joy somewhere along the line. Excitement when they realised they were having a baby, relief when she was born safely despite her slightly early arrival, but that knowledge made everything worse. They’d both chosen something else over her, whether it be a new life completely or alcohol, and she couldn’t imagine ever doing that with Lily or Jack, or any other children that she may have. They would always be her priority, and she would spend her whole life making sure they knew that. 

Emily sighs as she feels the guilt from that morning return, the burning feeling in her chest she was sure she would get used to. A phantom sensation she’d only ever realise was there when she paid attention to it. 

“Mommy loves you so much,” she says, smiling at the sight of an increasingly sleepy Lily, the baby milk drunk as she pulls away from her mother’s chest, seemingly full for now. Emily lifts her so she's against her shoulder, gently patting her back as she kisses her temple, “I hope you never doubt that for a second.” 

She smiles as her response is a burp, and she kisses Lily’s temple again before she sits up, placing her back in her bassinet. Emily yawns as she re-buttons her pyjama shirt unevenly, not caring enough to start again, and she lays back down. Her phone vibrates and she picks it up, squinting at the bright light as she reads a text from her husband on the screen. 

Hope you are asleep. We got the unsub, I should be home with you by morning. Love you. 

She smiles as she types out a quick response, locking her phone and placing it down on the nightstand before she snuggles back into the covers, breathing in the scent of her and her husband on their sheets. 

Love you too. If you wake our daughter up when you open the front door we’re never having sex again. 

-x-

Tag List:

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[mikkaeus]

house md hilson fic rec — infidelity trope

aka MY FAVE!

Other house rec lists: short fics | long fics | episode tags | postcanon

Four Blocks South of Eden by bethfrish (3k)

If you wanted paradise, you're a little off. I loved the tentative, slightly off-kilter feeling of this. Bang on characterisation, dialogue, and use of 2nd person POV (House). Set in s1 — Wilson's marriage is falling apart, and it leads to a night that could be the start of something new.

Blow the Candles Out by bethfrish (5k) Another year older, another year wiser, another divorce lurking just around the corner. So good!!! Wilson celebrates his birthday amongst the detritus of his marriage. The prose is really exceptional here. House's dialogue is also especially well done. It's a fun read that holds up well on a re-read.

Experimentation by DictionaryWrites (3k) If Wilson spending Christmas at House's in season 2 had gone a bit differently. Very well-written and in character. Got all my favourite things about an infidelity fic - the internal conflict, the desperate want, and them eventually falling into each other with all the inevitability of a coin vortex charity box.

midnight rain by GoldStarGrl (5k) Wilson can't possibly know the pain. But he wants to. I am vibrating!!! Set precanon, in the aftermath of the infarction. Infidelity, spanking, hello??? Hot, vivid, excellent characterisation, excellent writing etc etc. A+ no notes.

Commonplace and True by celestialskiff (11k) It would be a simple story--House and Wilson meet at a medical conference, have sex, and enjoy each other's company--but nothing is ever easy, or simple. Explores Wilson's relationship with House, with women, and with himself. House and Wilson throughout the years — with the version of canon where Wilson has cheated on every wife and girlfriend with House. When I tell you I am FROTHING!!! Pining while fucking?? The way it’s never the right time?? The greed of wanting to have your cake and eat it too? (That one’s specifically for Wilson, our beloved three-wives guy.) The vibes are immaculate. The prose is elegant verging on poetic. I’m eating this fic whole and it will be on my mind always. It is THE hilson fic for me. It is criminal that this fic has been up since 2012 and it only has 200 kudos. Go read it immediately & give the author some love.

hearts turn red by ictus (14k) In my head this is the counterpoint to the above fic. When I found it after reading that one it really was a holy shit two fucking cakes?? moment. The delicious infidelity vibes are similar, but the vibes of the writing are pretty different -- whereas the above fic has a more quiet, subdued atmosphere, this one has more snappy prose and it’s more light-hearted with funny moments as well as emotional ones. It’s not just the infidelity theme that makes me crazy about both of them though; it’s how they play on the great tragedy of House and Wilson. In the author’s own words: In a way they do feel a little bit doomed to never quite be on the same page with each other until the very end of the series and by then it's too late. Of course, in these fics, they’re rescued earlier than the end, but the wretched vibes remain. Also, I’m obsessed with this line: By Wilson’s read, House is somehow simultaneously joking and sincere: Schrödinger’s sexual advance. That is the entire fucking show. 

Howler Tone by baffledbear (25k) The calls always happen late at night, and they're extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way. Wilson is so repressed but so attracted to House. House is taking as much as he can get while still remaining in relative safety. Together they push a platonic relationship to the absolute limits of plausible deniability. Overall totally realistic within the canon of the show — the natural step up from the gay chicken already depicted. It’s just such a perfect scenario for them! That combined with silky smooth prose, faithful characterisation and accurate dialogue makes this fic is a definite hilson favourite and also a hilson-thesis fic.

Twenty Years of Stealing My Food by hwshipper (100k) A backstory taking place over twenty years, from how House and Wilson met all the way to canon. A reimagining of their fucked up, magnetic relationship, with a straightforward writing style. They get together nearly as soon as they meet and maintain a steady open relationship whilst cheating on their various girlfriends and wives throughout the years.

[kuzann]

The Wayward Heart

Written as my gift for @vixianna for the @valentines-core-exchange!

Summary

A ghost has stolen Vlad's heart, and now there's only one thing he can do to get it back: pretend to date Jack Fenton. Will he be able to work past his feelings, or will the entire matter end in disaster?

You can also read it on Ao3!

I think I got a bit too ambitious with trying to fit this entire story into only 20k words. ^^; But I still had an absolute blast writing it and I hope everyone(especially Vix) enjoys reading it! 💜 I'll be posting outlines and notes for it later today. Also, here's a link to the development of this fic for anyone who's interested in having a look!

Acquiring Help

Vlad paused before the front steps of FentonWorks and tried to get himself in order; he’d flown over so fast that he’d collided with a few trees on the way, and the disheveled result carried over to his regular attire. He plucked a particularly clingy twig from his hair and smoothed down a few silver locks that had come loose from his ponytail. The pronounced shadows under his eyes were something he could do nothing for at the moment—they were a consequence of the power drain he’d been hit with earlier, and a visible reminder that his ghost form held very little strength now.

The day had gone downhill so fast and it wasn’t even noon yet. If only he’d never heard of that wretched artifact to begin with. Then he wouldn’t have to beg Jack Fenton of all people for help and hope that Maddie was willing to play along.

Vlad took a deep breath, let it out, and steeled himself. Best to get this whole humiliating affair over with as soon as possible.

There was a distinct... Lack in his chest despite the nervous pulse thrumming in his fingertips. Another reminder of what was on the line here.

The door opened mere moments after he rang the doorbell and he was greeted by Jack Fenton’s wide smile and typical lack of volume control.

“Vladdie! Good to see ya!” Jack said as he stepped aside and gestured for Vlad to enter. “How’ve you been? Wanna play chess?”

“Perhaps another time, Jack,” Vlad said as he strolled past Jack and into the living room. The rest of the Fenton family was there, each watching him with either annoyance or suspicion or a mix of both. So circumstance had decided to hand him an audience. Just great. As if having to ask Jack for help to begin with wasn’t humiliating enough already. “I’m actually here because I need your help with something,” Vlad continued as he turned to Jack. “I’ve run afoul of a particular ghost—”

“And you need me to hunt it down? Say no more, pal!” Jack already had a gun in hand and was about to rush out the door when Vlad hung onto his harm to stop him.

“Not necessarily!” Vlad said quickly; if he couldn’t get ahead of Jack’s triggerhappy tendencies then they’d be in real trouble. “I require help of a more... Delicate variety. We have to play along with the ghost’s game this time.”

“And why would that be?” Maddie asked as she joined them. “Why should we cater to any ghost’s unreasonable whims?”

Vlad sighed. “Because that ghost has collateral right now. Very important collateral.” He was going to have to say it eventually, a statement as simultaneously ridiculous and as it was horrifying. He’d been trying to avoid it.

“And what ‘collateral’ might that be?” Maddie asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

“My heart,” Vlad said, flushing a bit with embarrassment. “Not in the metaphorical sense!” he added quickly, upon seeing their disbelief.

“Hold on—” Maddie grabbed his wrist and held her fingers against the underside for a few moments. “But you still have a pulse,” she said, one fist braced against her hip as she dropped his arm. “How do you know the ghost wasn’t trying to trick you?”

“Well, that would be far better than the alternative,” Vlad admitted, feeling a tiny bit of hope and no small amount of embarrassment. In truth he’d been so freaked out by the reveal that he hadn’t thought to ask someone else to check. Still, best to be sure. “But shouldn’t you also listen for it, all the same?”

Jack swung Vlad to face him and put an ear to his chest, even as Vlad fought down the rush of annoyance at having his personal space invaded so suddenly. He was a little paler than usual when he straightened. “Uh, you usually need a stethoscope to hear it, right?”

“You’d need one to hear it better but you should be able to hear it as long as you’re close enough.” Maddie was beginning to look a little worried as well, not a good sign. She also brought an ear to Vlad’s chest—something that would’ve made his heart race in better circumstances—and came away with an even deeper frown. “I’ll go get the stethoscope.” She took the steps two at a time as she sprinted upstairs, but Vlad’s smidge of hope was already dashed.

“Don’t worry, V-man. We’ll figure this out!” Jack pulled Vlad into a tight side-hug that he must’ve thought would be reassuring. Instead it added a distinct thread of anger to Vlad’s present anxiety.

Vlad glanced at Danny and Jazz and found the two watching him with keen interest in the latter’s case and smug amusement in the former’s. He was about to give Danny a glare when Maddie returned with the stethoscope in hand.

Maddie put the stethoscope in her ears and brought it to Vlad’s chest. She went a few shades paler after a few moments. “How can he still be alive like this?” 

“Isn’t it possible that Vlad just never had a heart to begin with?” Danny asked, his smirk still firmly in place.

Vlad gave him a look. That was a low blow given the circumstances, even with the relationship between them as bad as it was.

“Danny!” Jack said, looking at his son in shock. “How could you say something like that?!”

“Now’s not the time for distasteful jokes, Danny,” Maddie added. “I know what you’re getting at, but there was a time when Vlad was a kinder person than he is now.”

Vlad looked at her in shock—that comment felt like she’d actually slapped him. “Maddie—”

“Don’t interrupt,” Maddie said, holding a hand up for silence. “I’m thinking.” She brought a hand to her chin as she considered the current predicament more. “We should run some tests—”

“There’s no time for that!” Vlad said, holding his hands up in a silent request that they give him a little distance. The last thing he needed was them running tests that could reveal his secrets, especially without the cover of chronic ecto-acne to explain his more ghostly qualities. “I can’t keep the ghost waiting forever!”

“Then what game is my dad supposed to play with this ghost, Uncle Vlad?” Danny asked, with as much disdain placed on the name as he could muster.

Vlad ran a hand down his face and sighed. They’d arrived at the worst part of the whole affair. “We have to pretend to be a couple,” he said after some hesitation, feeling absolutely wretched as the words left his mouth.

Momentary silence followed the statement, and then Danny began laughing so hard that he fell off the couch.

Maddie tried to hold back her laugh, and failed.

“Well that shouldn’t be hard!” Jack declared, grinning as he pulled Vlad into another side-hug. “Vladdie and I were basically a couple back in college!”

“Don’t talk about that!” Vlad snapped as he pulled away from Jack.

Danny’s laughter came to an abrupt end. “Oh, gross!” he said, wrinkling his nose as if he’d just smelled something foul.

“Now Danny, just because those moronic churchgoers are so loud—” Maddie began.

“It’s not about two dudes being together,” Danny said. “It’s about one of the dudes in question being Vlad.”

“Anyway,” Maddie said, sweeping the conversation past its temporary tangent as she turned to Vlad again. “You still haven’t told us much about this ghost. What sort of powers are we talking about?”

“This ghost is called Mitzi the Matchmaker. As indicated by her title she’s all about matchmaking and helping ghosts form stable couples.”

“Ghost couples... So why’s she after you, then?” Jack asked with sincere confusion.

“Well, she had a particular artifact that I feared she might misuse, so I attempted to retrieve it,” Vlad began, the lie running smoothly enough; he’d gone over it on the way over, after all. The embarrassment necessary for selling that lie, however, was genuine. He wouldn’t hear the end of this one for a while. “And unfortunately it ended up activating on me instead.”

Danny let out a single snort of amusement at that. Jazz, meanwhile, was watching him the way a microbiologist watched a particularly interesting microbe on their slide. She even had a notebook open on her lap.

“So if we can convince her that you two make a good couple she’ll give your heart back and leave?” Maddie asked, giving him an incredulous look.

“That’s what she told me,” Vlad replied. “First I have to bring Jack back to her so she can do some sort of test. She’s at my mansion now.”

“And may I come along?” Maddie asked.

“Of course, I was hoping you would want to,” Vlad said quickly. In truth he’d been a tad hopeful that Mitzi could perform her compatibility test on him and Maddie as well; hopefully the result would be an even better match than whatever match he and Jack made.

“And if you try to use this to threaten my marriage, Vlad...” Maddie began, fixing Vlad with a glare.

Jack gasped. “Maddie! Vladdie would never do something like that!”

“I won’t!” Vlad said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “I just want my heart back, and to avoid that ghost she was trying to pair me off with instead!”

“Wait, other ghost?” Danny cut in. “What other ghost?”

Vlad let out a grumbling sigh. “She said that if I couldn’t find a good match myself then she’d force me to marry a ghost instead. He calls himself the Future Ghost King or some nonsense.”

Danny looked surprised. “Since when was there a Future Ghost King?”

“He picked the title himself, he’s some sort of wannabe tyrant from what I’ve heard,” Vlad replied with a wave of his hand. “And naturally he gets a large portion of my assets if I’m forced to marry him.”

Any lingering humor at Vlad's expense evaporated.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Danny said.

“The last thing we need is a maniacal ghost with Vlad’s resources,” Maddie added.

“No scummy ghost is laying a finger on my buddy!” Jack declared. “Let’s get over there and prove what a great couple we are, Vlad!” He grabbed Vlad by the hand and dashed out the front door, dragging Vlad along behind him like a hapless kite.

~~~

Vlad led the way to his library once they arrived, and there they found Mitzi the Matchmaker waiting for them.

She looked like your busybody aunt. Well, your busybody aunt who happened to be dead and had a taste for Edwardian fashion. Bright teal eyes blazed beneath the brim of her merry widow hat, the perfect contrast to her dusty rose attire and gray skin. She sat in the air as if perched on a bar stool, her floor-length gown trailing into a ghostly tail where it would’ve otherwise shown her boots, and looking perfectly at ease in Vlad’s library. The fur shawl draped over Mitzi’s shoulders shifted and raised its head, revealing itself to in fact be some manner of ermine ghost.

“Well you took your sweet time,” Mitzi said. Her voice was deep and somewhat husky, the sort that was uniquely suited to certain varieties of jazz accompaniment. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d decided to run off.”

“I was simply explaining the situation to everyone,” Vlad replied. He spotted the wretched artifact at her hip, a glass globe surrounded by a framework of interlocking metal rings similar to an armillary sphere. The beating heart inside the central globe was clearly visible even at this distance. “I’d like to introduce Jack Fenton and family,” he added, gesturing toward Jack with one hand.

“Hmm.” Mitzi drifted a tad closer as she sized him up, and Jack’s brows came down in a glare when he saw what was inside the artifact—Vlad had to put a hand on his shoulder to remind him to behave. “He will suffice, if the test proves your compatibility.” She drifted over to the nearest table and gestured for them to follow, her pet slipping from her shoulders and pulling chairs over for them to use.

They sat down across from Mitzi with Jack in the middle. Vlad noticed his pulse starting to pick up, and his eyes were drawn to the artifact at Mitzi’s belt; his heart was beating faster in time, making him a little sick as he watched.

The ghost nodded with satisfaction and shook her gown free of the ghostly tail, then summoned a wide shallow bowl of pale ceramic with a wave of her hand. Her pet passed a small bag to her, and she drew two black oblong stones from within. The stones had a silver sheen to them in the light, and she passed one each to Vlad and Jack. “Hold it in your hand for a few moments, and it will be attuned enough for the test.”

Vlad closed his fingers around the stone; it was heavy for its size and slightly warm, and its appearance reminded him of those magnetic hematite toys now that he’d gotten a chance to see it up close.

Mitzi gestured for the two to give the stones back, and she positioned each over an opposite side of the bowl once she had them in hand once again. “Now we will see.” She released them into the bowl. They skittered down the sides toward the center, repelling and dancing around each other twice before snapping together with a sharp click. “A good result,” Mitzi said with a smile.

Jack grinned. “Check me and Maddie next,” he said, probably seeing the little display as something akin to a game. Vlad couldn’t help but feel his hatred flare at the sight.

Mitzi passed the stones to Jack and Maddie and performed the test again as soon as she took them back. This time the two stones clicked together as soon as they drew near each other.

Maddie smirked. “I suppose Vlad is wanting to test with me, just out of curiosity,” she said without even a glance in his direction.

Again Mitzi performed the test. This time the two stones repelled each other so strongly that one of them shot out of the bowl and skittered off the table into a far corner of the room.

Vlad let his head drop to the table with a loud thump. He should’ve known, yet he’d still held out some hope. Seeing the stone leave the bowl felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. But at least the first test might allow him to get Mitzi to give his heart back and shove off if he could convince her that he and Jack were a thing. His skin crawled just thinking about the fact that he might have to get... Intimate, with Jack.

“Are you done moping yet?” Mitzi asked, cutting Vlad’s silent pity party short.

He lifted his head as Mitzi’s pet brought the errant stone back to her.

“You should be happy, really. You’re more compatible with Jack here than with Reginald,” Mitzi said. “Be that as it may, however, I still expect you to prove your relationship to me.”

“Of course,” Vlad said with a wave of his hand. “How should we do it? A tender embrace? Something of that sort?” he asked, his stomach churning even as he made the suggestion.

“You will perform a series of trials that I have devised for you, perhaps more beyond them if things prove difficult,” Mitzi said, without even considering his suggestion. “And when I am satisfied you will have your heart back. We start tomorrow.”

Vlad was expecting Danny to pull him aside once Mitzi dismissed them for the day. He’d even been expecting the boy to use force. The landing still ended up being painful, however.

~~~

“Must you do that every time you’re annoyed with me?” Vlad asked as he shoved the remains of a bookshelf off of himself. Danny had waited around half an hour before jumping him, catching him by surprise in his library as he tried to find any way out of this mess that didn’t involve playing Mitzi’s game.

“You’re the one who set the precedent the first time we met, I’m just following through,” Danny replied, arms folded over his chest as he watched Vlad. “Now spill it, Plasmius. What are you really up to?”

Vlad let out a grumbling sigh and got to his feet, shedding a few books as he did so. “Basically what I told your parents, with a few details omitted, obviously,” he replied.

“Those details being?”

There was a brief pause as Vlad considered whether or not he could trust Danny with the information, then realized it didn’t matter; the boy would find out either way, and he might even win a bit of trust from him if he was open about it now. “My heart wasn’t the only thing the artifact stole. It carved out a considerable portion of my ghost powers as well, it took most of my strength just to fly over to FentonWorks.”

“So that’s why you look worse than usual,” Danny quipped. He paused, one hand to his chin as he thought about something. “Sooo the chances that I could get rid of this ghost and get you away from my parents early—”

“Don’t fight her,” Vlad said, cutting Danny off. He didn’t want to think about what could await him if she succeeded in destroying his heart—full ghost at best, total annihilation at worst. “It’s too risky, just as I said to your parents.”

 “And you decided to tick off this ghost, why?” Danny asked. “I know it wasn’t some noble goal of keeping the artifact out of her hands. It was probably hers to begin with, wasn’t it?”

“A curiosity, to see if it could help me achieve a long-term goal,” Vlad replied stiffly.

“Right. So you were gonna try to use it to pair up with my mom,” Danny said, hitting the nail on the head. He smirked and huffed a short laugh through his nose. “And now you have to pretend to pair up with my dad instead, how’s that for irony?”

“Are you quite finished with your little interrogation?” Vlad rolled his shoulder, holding back a wince when it twinged; his healing factor was down too with his power levels being so low. His entire body was a mass of aches thanks to Danny’s attack. “I have special time with your father to prepare for.”

“Well, I do have to warn you that if you’re planning to use this to ruin my parents’ marriage—”

“Which I am not because that could jeopardize my own survival,” Vlad snapped. “Not to mention that your mother already implied ugly things if I did anything of the sort. I just want to put this whole mess behind me so I can forget it ever happened.”

“You’re lucky my dad is willing to go the distance for you like this,” Danny said, his smile fading. “You really do take him for granted.”

That got Vlad angry. He took a deep breath through his nose and clenched his fists; had he been at full power he would’ve blasted the brat right out of the air before he’d even finished the sentence. Go the distance? For twenty years Jack had proved what distance he was willing to go for Vlad, and it was woefully short. He only cared because Vlad was worth something now, and there was no way Vlad was falling for such an obvious trick. “I will give him as much esteem as a fairweather friend deserves, and nothing more,” Vlad said, forcing his tone to remain level. “I don’t know what your father told you about our past, but he gave me no reason to keep seeing him as a true friend after what he did to me.”

“Oh come on! Would you just move on already?” Danny said, his own frustration starting to show itself. “Everyone would be happier if you could just get over yourself and—”

“Do not speak of things you clearly know nothing about,” Vlad snapped, his tone declaring that while he could do nothing about Danny now he would certainly remember everything that happened and act on it later. “He ruins my life and pretends I don’t exist for two decades, then acts like nothing happened the next time we meet. Why don’t you tell me how you would treat a friend like that?”

“Ruined your life? What, by giving you superpowers?”

“You’re lucky that your own transition was so brief,” Vlad said, the breath behind his words hot with fury. He tried to calm himself by smoothing the wrinkles out of his sleeve and adjusting his suit cuff, his hands shaking as he did so; it didn’t work. “You would’ve broken long before I did had you endured mine.”

Danny didn’t reply, but by the incredulous look on his face the message hadn’t made it through. At last he sighed and leaned back. “Whatever. As long as you’re not after my parents I guess I won’t do anything.” He flew away, flashing into invisibility just before he phased through the far wall.

The clean noon light faded back into proper prominence, having been temporarily chased away by Danny’s ghostly influence. It was the sort of thing Vlad typically didn’t notice, given that he was usually the source. The room’s return to normal temperature also brought his attention to the heat pouring off his face.

Vlad looked down at his hand. The trembling was barely noticeable now, but it was still there. How had Danny managed to get a rise out of him with such ease? And when he wasn’t even trying to do so, no less.

He let his arms drop and took a deep breath to steady himself. It had to be the exhaustion that hung over him. Being low on ghostly power always made his human body tired. This was no different. Now he had to mentally prepare for the hell to come and try to get as much sleep as possible tonight.

~~~

The blast doors on the Fenton Portal were closed, to keep any additional ghostly interlopers from causing problems in the days to come. Jack missed the low hum it filled the lab with whenever it was open. He found it strangely comforting.

Noise from the various devices spread around their lab filled the gap in the background noise instead. Jack and Maddie had gotten back to business as usual after leaving Vlad’s house, though Vlad’s situation never strayed far from Jack’s mind.

“Man, I can’t believe Vladdie’s heart got stolen like that! Talk about creepy…” Jack said during a brief break from working on the circuitry of their latest prototype.

“Well, I suppose that’s what he gets for not leaving such things to the professionals,” Maddie said, not bothering to look up from her work on the prototype’s outer shell. By the way she paused in her work Jack knew she had more to say, but she chose not to share whatever it was.

“You’re… Okay with this, right?” Jack asked hesitantly. While she hadn’t objected to it while they were caught up in what was going on, he was still wary that she might have changed her mind. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Vlad to some ghost, but if Maddie wanted otherwise that would complicate things.

“It’s fine. In fact, this might be exactly what Vlad’s been needing lately,” Maddie replied. “It’ll make him appreciate you more.”

Jack released the tension that had been building in his shoulders as he waited for her reply. That was a relief. The confidence in Maddie’s voice reassured him that she didn’t see Vlad as some sort of romantic threat, too. He’d been a tad worried about that from time to time but never had the courage to bring it up. “I’m just happy to spend time with him. Wonder what kind of stuff we’ll be doing tomorrow...”

The First Trials

It was a beautiful day. The light was clear and the air crisp and gilded with golden threads of birdsong. A light breeze caressed the trees around the trail, its chilly touch just strong enough to keep any heat of exertion at bay, even through the long sleeve shirt, jeans, and hiking boots Vlad had chosen to wear.

The natural beauty of the place was lost on Vlad as he focused on two things: getting away from Jack, and trying to figure out a way to avoid having to spend more time with Jack. He’d hit his limit before they even reached the trail Mitzi had chosen for the trial and now he set a relentless pace that kept Jack on the move and out of breath, keeping the excruciating smalltalk at bay and putting a good bit of distance between them.

Vlad arrived at the first overlook and spared a few moments to stare out over the forest below, spotting the shining blue sliver of Lake Erie in the distance. He moved on just as Jack made it to the overlook.

It was just past noon when Vlad arrived at the trailhead again. He had as many answers as he’d started the hike with, which was none. Frustrating, but at least they would be heading home soon.

Maddie raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. “Where’s Jack?”

Mitzi floated beside her, looking completely unamused. “Yes, where is your partner? I had hoped you would be enjoying the trail together.”

“He was right behind me just a moment ago.” Vlad turned back to the mouth of the trail and started toward it.

Jack joined them before Vlad could set foot on the trail again, out of breath and very sweaty in the long sleeve shirt and overalls he’d worn for the hike. “That was—” he paused to catch his breath, “—a real workout. Thanks for pushing me there, Vladdie.” Jack gave Vlad a thumbs up, and for a moment Vlad wondered if he was actually trying to trick Mitzi into thinking this was intentional.

Mitzi spoke before Vlad had the chance to roll with it: “This is how you treat someone so close? How disappointing.” She shook her head, arms crossed over her chest. “You have failed this trial.”

“Failed?!” Vlad broke out into a cold sweat as he scrambled silently for some way to talk her out of giving them a failing grade. “But we completed the hike, didn’t we?” A weak attempt, one that he regretted even as it left his mouth.

“The point of this trial was to enjoy nature together. You barely enjoyed the nature and you were not together. It’s as if you can barely stand to be around this man you claimed to be your partner.”

“But—”

Mitzi held up a hand, silencing him before he could get another word out. “You have failed this assignment. Do not embarrass yourself further by trying to talk around this.”

Jack straightened and huffed as big a laugh as he could while still out of breath. “Don’t worry, Vladdie! We’ll ace the next one!” he declared as he pulled Vlad in for a tight, sweaty side-hug—and made Vlad regret every moment he’d forced Jack into a fast pace on the hike.

“You’d better. This is your first strike. Two more and I’ll be shipping you off to Reginald.”

Vlad went pale. They were doomed. He couldn’t even remember saying Jack’s name when Mitzi asked if he had anyone he’d want to be with, he’d been scrambling through the beginnings of a plan to get Maddie to help him and was thinking so intensely on it that he must’ve said it by accident. There was no way he’d be able to tamp down his anger long enough to make it through the rest of these trials; they were only delaying the inevitable at this point.

“I will let you rest for a few hours, then the next trial will begin,” Mitzi said, cutting Vlad’s ruminations short. “Take care not to disappoint me next time.”

~~~

Mitzi wanted them to waltz. Jack had never waltzed before, but he could dance and that had to be good enough. They’d ace this trial no problem and put things back on track.

They were in the small ballroom on the west side of Vlad’s mansion, making space while Mitzi selected the music they would dance to. Jack did his best to ignore the ache in his legs as they moved the furniture to the walls. He’d had a few hours to clean himself up and recover after the hike trial, but he was definitely going to feel it for a few days with the pace Vlad set for them.

At last Mitzi found the music she wanted and played it for them. It was a classical piece, definitely not something Jack was used to dancing to, but they only had to waltz until the end of the song and that would be this trial in the bag.

Jack met Vlad in the middle of the cleared space. The floor under their feet was hard polished wood that made even Jack’s boots sound fancy as he walked across it and held the afternoon light like the surface of a still pond.

Vlad’s usual suit was as crisp as ever, but he looked tired. The shadows under his eyes were more pronounced than usual, and Jack hadn’t seen him smile even once today. “Do you know how to waltz?” he asked as he looked up at Jack. The light playing across his hair made it shine almost like moonlight, and Jack’s pulse quickened a bit as he looked at it.

“Nope, but we’ll figure it out,” Jack said with absolute confidence. There was nothing they couldn’t face when they worked together, after all. The hiking trial was just a fluke.

“Right.” Vlad closed his eyes for a moment, then drew himself up to full height. “I’ll take the lead, then. Just follow my movements and we’ll be fine.”

Their first silent attempts were clumsy, but as long as Jack kept his attention on their feet he managed to keep time. His grin faded somewhat when he looked up and noticed that Vlad still wasn’t smiling. Nerves, probably. Jack couldn’t blame him with his actual heart on the line.

“Passable,” Mitzi said. “Let’s see how well you do with music.”

They started their waltz with Vlad leading them in time with the music. It was getting easier and easier as they moved. Jack lifted his attention from their feet and grinned at Vlad.

“We’ve got this one in the bag,” Jack said, his voice just loud enough for Vlad to hear over the music. 

“Yes, just keep following my lead and we’ll make it through this,” Vlad replied, looking a little more relaxed now. Jack couldn’t help but admire his grace, he was dancing so well even when he was this tired.

“We could even spice things up a bit and pass this thing with flying colors!”

“Wait, Jack—” Anything else Vlad had to say was cut off as Jack yanked him into a spin. “Jack, we just have to do a waltz!”

“We got that down, let’s try to impress her.”

Vlad pulled Jack back into the waltz and winced. “You can’t just change the plan without asking me first!”

“But I did ask,” Jack said as he let himself get swept up in the music again.

Another wince from Vlad as they completed another round. “You did not ask.” Vlad winced again and his frown deepened. “You told me your idea and just went ahead with it before I could say otherwise.”

“Come on, it’ll be fine! We’re already halfway through!” Jack swung Vlad around again and tried to push back into the waltz at the end.

Vlad winced and grit his teeth. “Jack, stop.”

“But we’re past the halfway mark, we just have to keep going a little longer!” Jack caught Vlad as he fell back and kept up with the dance. Probably soreness from the hike making him stumble, poor guy.

“Jack—”

“Don’t worry, Vladdie. We’re almost there!” It had to be because Vlad was tired from the hike. With that being the case Jack would just have to lead.

“Jack!” Vlad stumbled again and almost lost his footing.

“It’s fine, we’re doing a-oka—”

“You’re hurting me!”

Jack stopped and stared at Vlad for a few moments, then he looked down. He was standing on both of Vlad’s feet. “Oh.” Jack stepped back.

Vlad pulled himself free of Jack’s grasp, then limped to the nearest chair and sat down.

The CD moved to the next track.

Jack remained where he was, unsure of what to do with himself. They’d almost done it. They were even having a good time...

Vlad had his head down, his expression hidden from Jack. He had to be tired from the hike, and had to be stressed over what was going on. Taking risks was probably even scarier than usual.

Which meant Jack had gotten carried away again...

Jack approached slowly, and Vlad didn’t stir when he reached him. “Uh, could we try again?” he asked hesitantly. “I’ll let you lead.”

For a moment he worried Vlad might not reply. “Fine,” Vlad said finally. “Just don’t step on my feet this time.” He allowed Jack to pull him up from the seat and followed him to the center of the dance floor.

Mitzi started the music again.

Jack watched Vlad’s movements and followed, taking special care to avoid his feet. Their waltz was still clumsy, but it caused a minimum of pain for Vlad this time. The music dulled to background noise as Jack focused on his dance partner.

Vlad still wasn’t smiling. In fact the set of his jaw suggested he was angry and trying to hold it back. It brought to mind something Mitzi said earlier: it’s as if you can barely stand to be around this man... But that couldn’t be right. They were friends. Vlad invited him back into his life with the reunion invitation, and then he’d even moved to Amity Park to be closer to them... The situation was just a bit awkward because Jack was a married man.

There was the way Vlad was holding himself at a distance too... But that could be explained by the fact that Jack was married again. Didn’t want to give Maddie the wrong idea. But it still hurt after how close they’d been back in college...

The end of the waltz was drawing near. Vlad’s knees buckled as they came to a standstill and Jack swept him into a dip to hide it. Not that they needed to, but it felt natural.

Vlad blushed deep red when he realized what was happening, but he said nothing.

Jack felt the sudden desire to complete the dip with a kiss the way he did with Maddie. He resisted and brought them back up to a standing position again. That would definitely be too far, despite their current couples act. It would only be acceptable if Vlad invited it. Jack held Vlad a little closer all the same and met no resistance; he was still worried that Vlad’s legs might give out again.

Mitzi applauded them, her pet joining in with a toothy grin. “Excellent. You have passed the trial.”

Vlad let out a long sigh and went limp in Jack’s arms. “Thank goodness.”

“That’s it?” Jack asked, looking at Mitzi with surprise.

“I don’t expect you to waltz professionally, just successfully,” Mitzi replied. “And you did, I’m pleased to say.”

“Good, good,” Vlad said distantly. He started to step back. “Alright, Jack. You can let me go now.”

“Oh, right.” Jack let him go.

Vlad made it back to the chair and collapsed into it. “Are we doing any more today?” he asked after taking a few moments to recover, his tone fearful.

“That’s all for today,” Mitzi replied. “I can’t expect you to show me your best if I run you into the ground, after all.” She paused to consider something. “Though one’s true mettle does reveal itself under stressful situations, now that I think about it.”

Jack and Vlad shared a worried look.

“Perhaps another day,” Mitzi said, finishing the thought. “For now, go take your rest and prepare for tomorrow.”

~~~

Vlad stared up at his bedroom ceiling, too tired to do anything other than lay around with his feet up and mope. He’d alternated between ice and compression as soon as Jack was out the door, and they still ached terribly regardless. The fact that his body was more durable than that of a typical human had saved him from worse than the multitudinous bruises he dealt with now. Any normal human would’ve walked away with a few broken toes at best after dancing with Jack.

Just what was he thinking earlier? They were doing fine with Vlad leading the waltz but all of a sudden Jack had to ‘improve’ on it. As if what Vlad was doing just wasn’t good enough. Stepping all over his feet like that had probably been intentional too.

Vlad shifted his legs to keep them from falling asleep.

Jack probably would’ve kept on doing it had Vlad not told him. And not even a whiff of an apology afterward too. Some things never changed, but at least he wasn’t making excuses for himself this time. No, he’d just pretended it didn’t happen and moved on. It wasn’t in Jack’s nature to admit to doing wrong. Danny’s ability to say ‘sorry’ at all had to have come entirely from Maddie.

The way he’d told Jack bothered him. You’re hurting me. It was the truth, but it sounded weak and pathetic. Like he was beneath Jack when he should’ve been above being able to be hurt by thim.

Vlad turned onto his side to give himself something new to stare at, his legs slipping off the pillows as he did so.

He’d been letting Jack hurt him for years, by carrying that grudge. But doing otherwise felt like letting Jack off easy after the damage he’d done. After all the years of pain he’d caused without so much as an ‘I’m sorry’ to say for himself when they finally met again. Jack Fenton was an arrogant fool who forced everyone around him to pay the price of his good fortune.

A set of paws kneading biscuits into his ribs cut off any further musing. Vlad turned his head and found his slender white cat Marty standing over him, purring and biscuiting away without a care in the world.

“Hello there my little man,” Vlad said as he turned over to give Marty a better perch. “Are you making your bread again?”

Marty gave a little chirp of a meow and settled on Vlad’s chest, eyes closed and fangs hanging out of his mouth in a way that Vlad found absolutely adorable.

“Oh what would I do without you,” Vlad said, smiling. He scratched at Marty’s neck and was rewarded with an even louder purr. Yes, no point in wasting any more energy on Jack than necessary. Vlad would just have to rest up and try to get through the next day with as much grace as he could muster.

~~~

Jack set his needlepoint project on the bedside table; he was making clumsy stitches, and it was clear that he would just keep doing it if he tried any more tonight. “Maddie?” he asked, looking over at her.

“Hmm?” Maddie kept her attention on her book for a few moments longer, then looked up at him. “Yes, Jack?”

“Do you think Vlad still likes me?”

Maddie’s eyebrows snapped up with surprise. “What brought this on?”

“Well what that ghost said after the hike, and Vlad wasn’t having fun at all even though I was…” Jack fiddled with the sleeve of his night suit as he thought it over again. “So it made me wonder.”

“Better late than never,” Maddie said to herself as she placed her bookmark and set her book aside. “Though to be fair, Jack, you were stepping all over his feet during that first waltz.”

“I didn’t know I was doing that!” Jack said defensively. “I would’ve stopped sooner if he told me,” he added.

Maddie gave a quiet sigh. “I know, you do get caught up in your head so easily. It’s just something people have to get used to.”

“But Vlad knows me. He knew how to roll with it back in college.”

“That was twenty years ago, Jack,” Maddie said. “And you didn’t part on the best terms back then. You really don’t think he’s changed?”

“Well I...” Jack stopped. He had no real answer. Didn’t want to find the answer, more like. He’d caught glimpses of his old friend here and there, behind the mask of wealth and success. The Vlad he knew had to be in there somewhere. He’d assumed that Vlad just needed time to unwind around him, that they would eventually reclaim what they’d left behind in college. He’d assumed that Vlad was trying in his own way, and just hadn’t found his stride yet. That he wanted to be Jack’s friend too.

He’d assumed, and he’d assumed. Earlier he’d assumed that Vlad needed him to take over the dance, but really he just needed Jack to keep following along with what they already had planned. They hadn’t needed to do the fancier things that Jack wanted, just what was necessary. In the end he’d been trying to show off for Vlad instead of doing what Vlad needed.

“I don’t know,” Jack said.

“Well, maybe it’s about time you found out,” Maddie said. 

~~~

The stove was on fire. Not the parts of the stove that should have fire coming out of them, but the pans and pots and all the parts in between.

Vlad put a fire blanket over the lot and tucked in the edges to trap out the air. His physical movements were carefully controlled, but inside he was screaming. He never should’ve left Jack unattended in his kitchen. This was an absolute disaster.

“Whoops, haha,” Jack said, at least having the grace to sound embarrassed over what he’d done. “Guess things got away from me there.”

“Yes, you managed to put us back to square one in a single stroke,” Vlad grumbled. He should’ve known better than to let Jack handle something like this by himself—he’d always been an absentminded cook at best from what Vlad remembered. Vlad sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I don’t have enough ingredients on hand to make the same thing again. We’ll have to figure something else out.”

“I’ll uh, go check on everyone,” Jack said, and he slipped out of the kitchen before Vlad had a chance to tell him otherwise.

That was just as well for now. Let Jack try to explain the delay to his family without admitting he was at fault. Vlad didn’t need Jack distracting him while he tried to think anyway, that was already hard enough at the moment; his feet still hurt from yesterday, he was tired from most of his ghost powers being absent, and the stress of falling behind and dealing with Jack’s antics had him near breaking point.

What he needed most right now, at this moment, was to get off his feet.

Vlad took a seat at the kitchen table and rested his head on his arms, trying to will ideas into his tired and overwhelmed brain. He had sandwich makings, but the meal had to be more elaborate than that. Something he and Jack would be putting together as a team that didn’t just take five minutes to make.

“Hey, Vladdie.”

“What is it?” Vlad growled.

“I know how to buy us some time.”

“Oh what, are you going to distract them by setting my dining room table on fire too?”

“Nah that would make things worse,” Jack said with complete seriousness. “I was thinking we should do a cheese board. Y’know, as a warm up for the main course.”

Vlad lifted his head and looked up at Jack. “You got the idea from Maddie, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Actually it was all mine!” Jack declared proudly.

Vlad wondered if he was lying to save face, then decided it didn’t matter at the moment. “Well I’ve got a good selection on hand at least,” he said as he hauled himself to his feet and started toward the fridge.

“I can put it together,” Jack said, moving to head Vlad off before he could get there. “You plan a new meal while I do that.”

“Fine, fine,” Vlad said with a wave of his hand. “Just don’t set the board on fire too.”

“No worries, V-man. This’ll be easy!”

Vlad retrieved his best cheese board from its slot in a cupboard and passed it off to Jack, then took stock of the ingredients they had on hand. Sandwich makings... He could turn them into monte cristo sandwiches, which were at least more entertaining than regular sandwiches. Vlad took a few cookbooks down from the shelf and flipped through at random in search of ideas. Now what to serve with it, something light and crisp to counteract the savory sweetness of the monte cristo… Fresh fruit parfaits? Those would be a good dessert. A green salad with light vinaigrette dressing would do for a side, and tomato bisque was always a winner when it came to soups.

“Hey, Vlad.”

“Hmm?” Vlad looked up from his planning and found Jack standing across the island from him.

“Ta-da!” Jack swept a hand over his creation.

Vlad had been expecting Jack to simply throw cheese and crackers on the board and call it a day, but what he found instead was much more than that: a variety of cheeses and crackers of course, but there were also grapes, apples, pears, artichoke hearts, olives, and a green dip that he guessed was pesto. In all it was a board that offered a nice variety of flavors to accompany the cheese, and all it needed now were some suitable refreshments to accompany it.

“Well, I’m impressed, Jack,” Vlad said. It was a sincerely pleasant surprise to see something turn out right. “How did you make your selections? You did a good job.”

“Uuh...” Jack stared at him blankly. “I dunno, I just thought it would taste good together,” he said with a shrug.

“Right... You’ve always been a man of instinct, haven’t you?” Vlad said, partially speaking to himself. It was a trait that, paired with Jack’s amazing luck, allowed him to get away with his spontaneity a lot of the time. “I have some ciders that will go well with this, they’re in the fridge.”

Jack took the cheese board out while Vlad wrote down their new menu and found the required recipes for it. They had more time to prepare the new meal, so Jack had at least somewhat redeemed himself for what he’d done earlier. Vlad was not letting him use the stove under any circumstances, but that didn’t mean Jack couldn’t help elsewhere...

Vlad was ready when Jack returned. “I have a plan,” he said. “Are you ready to help?”

“Lay it on me, Vladdie!” Jack said with utmost gusto.

“I want you to be my assistant while I prepare the dishes. So you’ll be doing things like prepping ingredients and getting plates and such ready. Can you do that?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jack replied. “Let’s get cracking!”

~~~

The lunch was a success. What Jack lacked as an individual cook he made up for as an assistant to one. He’d been at Vlad’s elbow throughout, ready to help and even able to preempt what Vlad needed at times, and it had even become somewhat enjoyable to work with him toward the end. Not that those feelings would last long. It was just a matter of time before Jack hurt him again.

“You have passed the trial,” Mitzi said, giving them a genuine smile.

“We did it!” Jack gave Vlad a wide grin.

“That we did,” Vlad said, his voice flat with exhaustion. He swirled his peach spritzer and took a sip. The trial had taken its toll regardless of success. Hopefully there would be nothing more today.

Real Talk

The picnic was pleasant enough. They’d again worked together to prepare it, as they’d done the previous day, a light affair like an afternoon tea since lunch had already passed. It was a sunny spring day, and the hill they’d picked out in Amity’s largest park offered a nice view of the city.

“Hey Vlad, have you been okay lately?” Jack asked as he looked over at him.

Vlad stared at him blankly. He was really asking that, given the circumstances?

“I mean outside of the stuff that’s going on right now,” Jack said hastily.

“Am I okay?” Vlad had to stop and think about it, swirling his iced tea as he did so. If he was being honest with himself, his life didn’t feel particularly… Happy. It was one long string of goals with a temporary high whenever one was achieved, but the moments in between weren’t particularly happy on their own. They gave him too much time to brood on the past, so he moved through them as quickly as possible. “No, I suppose not,” he admitted aloud, to his own surprise.

A panicked look settled on Jack’s face upon hearing that. “Oh, uh…” Jack looked away, plainly unable to think of an adequate reply. The fool, he shouldn’t have asked such a question if he wasn’t prepared for the truth. “Chin up…?” he tried as he turned to Vlad again, giving him a weak smile and a thumbs up.

Vlad said nothing in reply, settling for a cold stare before turning away himself. He hadn’t had any hope that Jack might be supportive to begin with, but that reply was so pathetic that he couldn’t even glean any joy from watching Jack squirm. The resulting silence that stretched between them quickly became too much, and Vlad got to his feet. “I’m going for a walk,” he said, and he left it up to Jack on whether he had the nerve to follow or not.

Jack did follow him, after letting him walk ahead a few paces, and tailed him all the way down to the shore of the nearest duck pond.

A pair of swans swam past, along with several ducks that kept a respectful distance from their larger relatives. The breeze that meandered over the pond and stirred its surface was sharp enough to bite through Vlad’s suit. Part of him acknowledged that such would be a catalyst for getting a real couple to draw closer together for warmth, and so he ignored it.

“So you’re not supposed to feed them bread, huh?” Jack said.

Vlad looked over at him and noticed the sign he’d been reading, a handy infographic that pointed visitors away from bread and toward foods that were better suited for aquatic fowl, such as lettuce, frozen peas, and birdseed. “Well if you can’t convince people not to feed them to begin with, it’s best to tell them what you should feed them instead,” he acknowledged. Such an empty conversation. It left him as cold as the sharp spring breeze.

“I’ve been having fun spending time with you,” Jack said, perhaps to make up for his lackluster performance earlier. “Even though it’s not happening for the best reason, I mean,” he added.

“Yes, I’ve noticed,” Vlad said. This charade of friendship was so tiresome without some other goal to occupy him. Part of him wished Jack would wise up already, even as another part wished it was easier to be around him. He did miss those college days, when he let himself be honest, but Jack was just so… Unreliable. Vlad couldn’t trust him not to cause the equivalent of a proto-portal accident all over again and then just make excuses and disappear like last time, if he even remotely acknowledged that he had some hand in it, anyway.

Jack seemed to get some sort of hint from Vlad’s lack of reciprocity and dropped the matter without comment. “I guess we’ve been out here long enough,” he said after more silence filled with the sigh of the breeze and the chatter of the ducks. “Should we head out?”

“Sounds good,” Vlad said. He turned, putting all his weight on the leg nearest to the pond.

The bank gave way under his foot and dumped him into the pond with a loud splash, scattering the nearby ducks and drawing the swan pair’s ire. They hissed and swatted at him with their wings a few times—Vlad covered his face to avoid a broken nose—before swimming off in a huff.

“Man, you have the worst luck sometimes,” Jack said, a sympathetic tilt to his brows as he helped Vlad out of the pond. “Your house blowing up, that ghost attack at the reunion, the proto-portal accident... You didn’t break any mirrors, did you?” Jack added, adding a small nervous chuckle to the question.

The final item on the list didn’t escape Vlad’s notice. He grit his teeth and glared at the grass between their feet as his anger flared to a roaring blaze. Just bad luck? Was that what he’d convinced himself it was? “Do you know how long I was stuck in the hospital after the accident, Jack?” Vlad asked, his gaze still on the grass.

“You said it was a few years,” Jack replied. Any humor in his voice was gone, replaced with a hesitant wariness.

“Five years,” Vlad said. “And do you know what it’s like to be infected with ecto-acne?”

“I mean, it’s pretty bad stuff. You and the kids were dying there for a bit, before we found the cure.”

“Ah yes, the diet cola component. However could that have gotten mixed into the proto-portal’s power signature, I wonder?” Vlad made a show of pondering on the question, one hand held to his chin as he did so. “It’s as if someone poured the wrong substance into the filtrator because they weren’t paying enough attention,” he said, noting Jack’s flinch as he spoke. “‘Pretty bad’, hmm? Those paltry little words fail to encapsulate what it was like to live with ecto-acne. It returned for monthly flare-ups after I got out of the hospital and every time I had to wonder... What function would I lose and for how long, and would it be the end of me this time?” Vlad paused for a humorless chuckle. “Ecto-acne. What an embarrassing, innocuous name for such a wretched illness.”

“Vlad?”

“What’s wrong? Haven’t you been wanting to talk to me?” At last Vlad looked up and met Jack’s eye. “Does this subject matter make you uncomfortable? I can’t imagine why.”

“Well it’s just, you shouldn’t dwell on the past, right?” Jack offered with an attempt at a smile. The worry was apparent on Jack’s face now, but Vlad took no pleasure in it. After all this time and all this pain, Jack still wanted to run away; to say that Vlad was disappointed by this was a gross understatement. “And besides, look at where you ended up! A genius billionaire, and you used your time in the hospital to plan it out.” Jack’s smile widened a little, despite the worry that still hung across his brow.

“And how lucky I was that those plans succeeded,” Vlad said smoothly. He was not letting Jack run away from this. Not this time. “After all, it wasn’t as if I could count on anyone else to help me out of the mountains of medical debt I was saddled with. Not family, not friends,” Vlad said the word with a special amount of venom, making Jack flinch again. He closed his eyes and lifted his head toward the sky. “Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened to me had my plans fallen through, and I always come to the same answer.” Vlad lowered his head and met Jack’s eye again. “I would’ve died, drowning in medical debt as I succumbed to a disease that had no cure.”

“I—” Jack reached out to Vlad, but stopped short of touching him. “Vlad, I would’ve helped you before that happened.”

“Oh please,” Vlad said, his voice cold. “We both know that’s a lie, Jack. You didn’t work for a cure until Danny’s friends were involved, and even then you couldn’t find it. I’m lucky that Danny was willing to go the distance for his friends. It’s such a shame that I can’t say the same of his father.”

“That’s not true,” Jack said, getting a little strength back in his voice. “I’m right here helping you now, aren’t I? I’ve been ready to help you get through this since the moment I heard about it.”

“Yes, I do admit that you’re eager enough when it comes to fixing problems you didn’t cause. I suppose I can commend you for that.” Vlad watched Jack for a few moments. “But there’s still something that’s bothering me about what you said earlier.”

“Which part...?” Jack asked, the worry returning in full force.

“So the proto-portal accident and all that came of it was just bad luck? Is that really what you think?” Vlad said, his words slow and deliberate.

“Well yeah, none of us expected it to blow up,” Jack replied with a shrug. “What else would it be?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Vlad said coldly, tapping one sodden shoe against the grass. The cold was a distant memory now, with the fire of anger burning hot in his chest. “I always saw it as an easily preventable accident.”

Jack held his hands palm-up in a placating gesture. “But we had no idea it would happen!”

“Maddie spotted the mistake in your calculations within seconds of seeing them.” Vlad kept his voice level, but the seething heat was making its way through, in the tension that made his neck and jaw ache. He couldn’t believe Jack was trying to pull this. As if the accident and the moments prior hadn’t played themselves back in Vlad’s head over and over as he lay in that hospital bed. “If you had taken even a moment to listen to her or to check your calculations it wouldn’t have happened.”

“But it was just an accident—”

“An accident does not preclude one from fault, Jack!” Vlad snapped. “If you hit someone with your car while speeding, you are at fault. If you drop something from a tall building and it hits someone on the sidewalk, you are at fault.” An angry heat poured off his face, and his breaths came quick and hot; the only thing missing was his heart pounding against his ribcage, though he was sure it was doing the same against the interior of the artifact even now. “And if you turn on an experimental portal device without so much as checking that the area is clear and giving no time for someone to get out of the way, you. Are. At. Fault!”

Vlad paused to catch his breath, surprised by his own vitriol. But he’d been waiting to say this to Jack for years, hadn’t he? He’d just hoped that Jack’s reaction would’ve been different...

“I mean, you shouldn’t have been standing so close to it to begin with...”

Vlad’s breath caught in his chest, as if he’d been kicked. He remembered that one, or rather, one of its kin, from the frantic minutes following the accident. The first words out of Jack’s mouth were excuses, attempts to pass blame, and what Jack just said had been among them. Never once had he admitted fault or apologized for what he’d done.

“You really haven’t changed at all, have you?” Vlad’s anger cooled somewhat, tempered by sorrowful disappointment. They would never see eye to eye on this, and Vlad would never get his resolution. It was time to give up on that. “No matter what happens, it’s never your fault.”

“I didn’t mean it, Vlad. You know that.” Jack’s tone had a gentle desperation to it. Vlad didn’t care to puzzle out what that desperation might be for. It certainly couldn’t be his friendship. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But you did.” Vlad took a step back, and the cold of the breeze playing across his soaked suit crept back in. “You hurt me, and then you left me for dead and never looked back.” He turned, and started back up the hill. “I’m going home. We have nothing more to talk about.”

Vlad noticed Mitzi lurking under the shadow of a nearby tree. “Strike two,” he said as he passed her by. There was no point in trying to talk his way out of how this one ended. One more failure and it was off to Reginald, though part of him wondered if that might actually be preferable to the possibility of being stuck with Jack Fenton. He’d certainly found ghosts easier to exterminate than humans, and this Reginald had to have cracks in his armor...

~~~

Jack knew it wouldn’t help to follow Vlad. So instead he packed up the picnic and, after a brief check to make sure Vlad wasn’t still around and in need of a ride, drove himself home.

He had his answer now, the one he’d been dreading. Vlad didn’t see him as a friend anymore. The accident made sure of that. What he didn’t understand was why Vlad had to keep holding on to something that was so painful. Jack would be drowning in misery if he did that.

Jazz was in the living room when Jack walked through the front door. “Hey dad, how did the picnic go?” she asked.

“Badly,” Jack replied. He left the picnic basket by the door and dropped onto the couch.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Well I guess it couldn’t hurt,” Jack said with a shrug.

“So what happened?”

Jack sighed. “Vlad started talking about the accident, I can’t really remember why.” The start of the conversation’s descent was blurry, but Jack did remember mentioning bad luck… “He still hasn’t forgiven me for what happened. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Did you ever apologize...?”

“Of course I did!” Jack said defensively, then he stopped himself. “No, wait...” He tried to recall, then heaved a long sigh. “I don’t remember doing that right after the accident...”

“Then maybe you could start with an apology?” Jazz said with a hopeful smile.

“What’s that gonna fix? He already hates me,” Jack said, hanging his head.

“You’d be surprised,” Jazz replied. “That kind of acknowledgement can accelerate someone’s recovery after trauma. And it can put a relationship on better terms.”

“You really think so?”

Jazz sighed. “Dad, you do need to get better about apologizing anyway. Just in general. It’s kinda sad that it was such an outlier for you to apologize to mom about forgetting your anniversary last year, and it’s still an outlier now.”

Jack drooped against the couch. “I guess it’s worth a try... But how am I supposed to make it stick? I can’t just say the word with nothing else to back it up.”

“Well, you need to make it clear that you understand what you did wrong and try not to do that again. Part of the apology is you proving you can be better.”

“But what if I mess up again?” Jack asked hopelessly. He knew his track record, though he tried to ignore it; any attempt he’d made at changing his ways just hadn’t stuck.

“Then you make sure you stick around to fix things afterward.”

Jack reddened slightly with embarrassment. That was another way he’d failed Vlad, now that he thought of it. Twenty years of absence was magnitudes worse than forgetting his anniversary a bunch of years in a row. Who knew if it was even possible to fix their relationship at this point.

But at least he had some idea of where to go from here.

“Thanks, Jasmine,” Jack said, smiling as he put an arm around her shoulder. “You’re the best daughter a dad could ask for!”

“Guilty as charged!” Jazz declared, lifting her head high with a grin. “I hope things work out with you and Vlad. I think it could be really good for both of you to have an actual friend.”

“What? I have—” Jack struggled to name a friend he had other than Vlad, and came up with nothing. “I mean, Vlad probably has friends, right?”

Jazz laughed. “He does not act like he has friends,” she said, her tone dead serious.

“Well if I can salvage this maybe he’ll have one.” Jack’s spirits were lifting already, though the thought of his coming talk with Vlad made him nervous. He’d have to prepare... Or trust on instinct now that he had a better idea of what to do.

Jack stood and started off, then stopped short and swung back around to give Jazz a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks again, Jasmine.”

“No problem.” Jazz gave him a kiss on the cheek in turn. “What’re you gonna do now?”

“I’m gonna go try out my new kitchen skills with your mom!” Jack declared.

~~~

Jazz waited for her dad to leave the room before calling out the spy who’d been listening in on the conversation: “I know you’re there, little brother.” She opened one of her notebooks as Danny popped back into visibility and leaned on the back of the couch.

“You really think things’ll get better if they’re friends?” Danny asked, his eyes on the kitchen doorway.

“It’ll mean Vlad has less motivation to mess with us if he actually cares about dad,” Jazz replied. “Plus maybe he’ll stop doing the villain stuff as much once he feels better in general.”

Danny didn’t answer right away, his attention temporarily turned inward to his own thoughts. “Yeah, maybe.”

Jazz knew there was something on his mind and patiently thumbed through her notebook as she waited for him to share it.

“I guess dad really did mess things up back then, huh?” Danny said finally.

“Did Vlad tell you something new when you went to talk to him the other day?”

“Well, he implied that it was long and painful when he turned into a half-ghost.”

Jazz grimaced. “And that would be on top of dealing with ecto-acne.”

Danny ran his hands down his face with a groan. “Why am I the one having to deal with dad’s crazy ex-friend all the time? It’s so dumb.”

“If this goes well then maybe you won’t have to anymore,” Jazz said, smiling.

~~~

Vlad turned the conversation over in his head again and again. He’d been unusually direct with Jack, almost suicidally so given the stakes. He should’ve been able to handle himself better, should’ve been able to pretend everything was fine and make it through the trials without issue, but his emotions were getting in the way.

And he had an idea as to why.

He’d come to the realization after mulling things over in the shower and putting on his pajamas, and now he strode toward the sun room at the back of his mansion where he was sure he would find the ghost he had in mind.

“You did something to me,” Vlad said as he came to a halt next to the round glass table she was seated at.

“Of course I did,” Mitzi said with a smirk. “I took your heart, do you need me to refresh your memory on how to get it back?”

“Not that,” Vlad said. “It’s my emotions. You’ve done something to them, haven’t you?”

“Oh, that.” Mitzi lifted the artifact, giving Vlad a good view of his own heart. It still made him slightly queasy when he saw it. “It’s the artifact you were trying to steal from me, dear. It opens a person’s heart, metaphorically speaking.”

Vlad’s eyes widened. “You’re going to force me—”

“Into loving someone? That’s not what it does, darling,” Mitzi said. “By open I mean that you’re simply more honest about what you already feel.”

“So you were intending to sabotage me from the start.” That made sense, perhaps she’d brokered some sort of deal with this Reginald and then lured Vlad into messing with the artifact. It sounded like a typical ghostly scheme.

Mitzi gave a melodramatic sigh. “Now you’re just being silly again. You’d be surprised at what a little emotional honesty can do for a relationship. Perhaps you should try it more often.”

“That ‘emotional honesty’ made me fail today’s trial.”

“I never said you failed. You did that yourself.”

“I was only stating the obvious.”

“The obvious?” Mitzi leaned one arm on the glass tabletop before her and looked up at him. “My my, I never thought the illustrious Vlad Plasmius would turn out to be such a quitter.”

“A quitter?!” Vlad snapped, indignant. How dare she say such a thing. His track record was not that of a quitter! “I am not a quitter, madame!”

“Oh really?” Mitzi stood, bringing her face level with his own. “So what’s the matter, then? Is this Jack Fenton just too much for you to handle? Has he already won?”

“He has not—” Vlad’s face began to heat up. Just how much did Mitzi know? She couldn’t know that Jack had defeated him in a head to head fight once, he’d worked so hard to make sure no one found out about that! No, she had to be talking about the trials. “Jack Fenton has not defeated me!”

“So you say,” Mitzi said. “But given your attitude I can’t say I’m terribly convinced.”

Vlad’s eyes flashed red for a moment. “Then I’ll prove it. I won’t let him stop me this time.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear it. In that case, I’ve picked out your next trial.” Mitzi leaned back with a smirk. “And as for when it will happen...” She looked up as her pet drifted down through the ceiling and coiled itself around her shoulders, whispering something in her ear as it did so. “Ah, excellent!” She returned her attention to Vlad. “Tonight you will be sharing a bed with your to-be partner. What you do in it is up to you, but I expect the two of you to share it for the majority of the night.”

Vlad could feel the color draining from his face when he heard that. “Tonight? I don’t get more time to prepare?”

“You’re the great Vlad Plasmius, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll figure it out!” Mitzi declared with a grin.

~~~

The hour of the next trial arrived far too soon. Vlad let Jack in at around eight in the evening but was unable to manage more than a frigid smile. So despite his earlier enthusiasm he wasn’t able to push back the artifact’s effects. He would have to play this carefully if he intended to win.

Mitzi escorted them to the bed they would be using. Not Vlad’s own massive bed, but a queen size bed in one of the many guest rooms scattered around his mansion. So she intended for them to get cozy. Just lovely. Vlad could only hope that Jack was as uninterested in anything but sleep as he was.

Jack gave Vlad a nervous smile as Mitzi closed the door behind herself and left them alone. “Well this shouldn’t be too hard. We got plenty of practice back in college.”

The memories of those warm nights rose in Vlad’s mind, and he viciously kicked them back down into the abyss where they belonged. “I expect you to not shove me out of the bed by morning, then.”

“Sooo what do you normally do before bedtime, Vladdie?”

“I’m going to sleep early.”

“Oh, okay,” Jack said weakly.

Vlad climbed into bed and pulled up the covers.

Jack took the other side of the bed. It was too small to keep the two from touching each other—if they were going to both stay on the bed at the same time, anyway.

An expectant silence hung over them after Jack turned off the light on his side of the bed. He probably wanted to talk.

Vlad braced himself, his anger already rising. What more was there to talk about after what happened today? Jack would have nothing but more excuses. They were the last thing Vlad wanted to hear right now.

Jack inhaled as if to say something, but nothing came of it. He resumed his normal breathing for a while as Vlad listened and waited.

“Sorry, Vlad,” Jack said finally. “About today, and the accident. I’m gonna do better from now on.”

For a moment Vlad couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jack Fenton, apologizing for something? Had Vlad fallen into a parallel universe without noticing?

Vlad couldn’t deny that he’d wanted an apology from Jack ever since the accident, but he let it hang in the silence between them regardless. There was always the chance that he didn’t mean it.

And there was something else Vlad wanted, too. The answer to a question that had cut at his heart ever since he’d first asked it.

“Why did you leave me behind?” Vlad asked, his tone more tired than anything else. “I needed your help.”

“You told me to get lost, so I did,” Jack said matter-of-factly.

“Oh, you mean while I was in severe pain and reeling from the shock of getting my face blasted by spectral radiation? And while my so-called best friend was giving endless excuses for why it wasn’t his fault?” Vlad glared at the far wall. Yes, he did remember telling Jack to kick rocks, but he’d only done that as a response to the stream of excuses Jack had flung at him following the accident. What he’d wanted was for Jack to go and think about what he’d done and come back later. He hadn’t meant forever.

“I tried to visit you at the hospital, but they wouldn’t let me in,” Jack added.

“They deemed it non-contagious a month after I was first admitted,” Vlad said. “You could’ve visited then.”

Jack had no immediate reply. “I was too scared to face you by then,” he said. “I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“Funny. That’s exactly what you did by never showing up.”

“I know, I screwed up. I hurt my best friend cause I was careless. I made everything worse cause I was scared.” Jack heaved a long sigh. “I’d go back and change everything if I could.”

Vlad gave a humorless chuckle as Clockwork immediately came to mind. Best not to risk mentioning him though; with Vlad’s luck they’d both end up dead or with some other worse outcome. Jack meddling with the timeline was a thought too horrifying to entertain for long.

“And after I got out of the hospital?” Vlad asked.

“I did notice when you were making strides…” Jack admitted. “But I figured you had it handled, and how would that look if I only showed up then, right? So I decided to stay away until you decided you wanted me back.”

“I see.” Vlad couldn’t say whether he was satisfied with Jack’s answers or not. They sounded sincere enough, and they certainly weren’t meant to save face given that Jack had admitted to being a coward. A sort of numbness hung over Vlad now, coupled with a lighter feeling. As if something was no longer weighing him down.

“I still want to be your friend. I’ve really missed having you in my life, all these years... But I understand if you don’t want that, after everything.”

Vlad had no answer for him now. Twenty years of hate and resentment wasn’t something to be undone with one conversation... But said conversation could open up new avenues for them. It felt good to finally feel like he was being heard, that Jack was actually listening to him instead of bumbling endlessly on and assuming that everything was fine. Now he needed time to let everything sink in.

Perhaps the fact that he was even taking the time to consider the thought was a ray of hope.

So that issue needed time. Now to take care of the other thing that needed dealing with at the moment. Vlad pushed himself toward the center of the bed until his back made contact with Jack’s ribs.

“Vlad?” Jack asked, startled by the sudden move.

“The gap where the sheets hung between us was cold,” Vlad replied.

Jack gave a hesitant chuckle. “Yeah, I understand.”

~~~

Jack’s arm was draped over Vlad’s waist when he woke up the next morning. Vlad checked the time and found that it was a few minutes past seven. He slid out from under Jack’s arm and sat up, lingering on the edge of the bed. That was one of the best nights of sleep he’d had in years, though he hated to admit it. The human desire for contact wasn’t such an easy instinct to shake.

A strange unmoored feeling hung over him now, but he had to admit that it wasn’t a particularly unhappy feeling at least. Perhaps bewilderment might be a better descriptor. Had someone told him that Jack was capable of apologizing he wouldn’t have believed them, but he’d heard it with his own two ears last night. Jack was finally starting to acknowledge the gravity of what he’d done. There might be hope for them yet…

Movement on the other side of the bed derailed Vlad’s train of thought. Jack grunted as he did a full-body stretch, then flopped back against the bed again. “Wow, I slept great last night!” he declared as he sat up.

“I did as well,” Vlad said.

“So what now?”

“Call your family over. I think breakfast is in order.”

Jack grinned. “You got it, Vladdie!”

Where things could go next, Vlad wasn’t sure. He was content to watch and leave himself open for now.

~~~

Vlad and Jack walked abreast as they climbed the grand stone steps of Amity Park’s main museum. Jack had been eager for the new trial, though a tad hesitant for some reason. He finally spoke up as they walked into the main hall after buying their tickets.

“Hey, Vlad?”

“Something wrong?” Vlad asked as he turned to Jack.

“I’m not much of an art guy,” Jack replied, fidgeting by scratching at the back of his head. “I don’t think I really get it? So I probably won’t have anything interesting to say.”

“You don’t have to be an expert to enjoy art, Jack,” Vlad said. “Just look at it with an open mind, see where that takes you. There are plenty of other halls we can explore if you get bored.”

“Sounds good,” Jack said, giving Vlad a relieved smile. “Let’s do that first.”

The current seasonal art exhibit displayed a collection of paintings by Van Gogh and his contemporaries. Every last one was a replica due to the security concerns associated with Amity Park—too many ghost attacks to risk displaying the real thing. They wandered for a while until Vlad stopped before one particular painting, a snapshot of country life by Constant Troyon that depicted a group of farm workers next to a tree-ringed pond. Vlad stared into the painting for a while, taking in its details, and slowly the chatter of the museum patrons behind him fell away, replaced by birdsong and the contented clucking of chickens and distant conversation carried on the breeze…

“Find a good one?” Jack asked, snapping Vlad out of his imaginings.

“I can hear this one,” Vlad said, gesturing toward the painting with one hand.

“Uh—”

“Not literally,” Vlad said quickly. “Just look for a bit and try to imagine what this scene would sound like.”

“Hmm.” Jack stared at the painting for a while, his chin resting on one fist. “Oooh, I think I get what you’re saying,” he said finally. “It’s like it draws you in?” Jack squinted at it, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. “Are we sure this thing isn’t haunted?”

“I think it’s just doing the typical art routine. Plus, this is only a replica of the real one,” Vlad replied, a touch of genuine amusement to his smile. “Though I don’t doubt there are haunted paintings out there.”

“Yeah, maybe even ones like— What was that author again? His stuff was pretty creepy.”

“That’s a very broad category of authors, Jack.”

“Back in college, remember? That story about the painting that changed every time the guy looked at it?”

Vlad took a moment to plumb the depths of his memory, going back to those college nights when they had enough time between their studies to read to each other. “I think I remember the story you’re talking about. There was that undead creature that stole a baby, right?”

“Yeah! That’s the one,” Jack said, his enthusiasm building. “Maybe we could read that guy’s stories again.”

“But what was his name?” Vlad closed his eyes as he tried to remember. He knew the name he was searching for was a common one, but which…? “His stories had a bit of a Lovecraft feel to them, didn’t they?”

“Yeeaaah.” Jack paused, trying to recall the name as well. “Wasn’t he from before Lovecraft though?”

“Was it James?” Vlad guessed.

“Yeah!” Jack said with a grin. “I think you got it. M… M. R. James?”

“That does sound right,” Vlad said, then he grimaced as he recalled something else. “And I do recall getting some weird nightmares after reading some of those stories.”

Jack laughed. “Guess we should postpone picking those up again?”

“Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s about the state of mind you’re in when you read them.”

“I’m kinda glad that ghosts aren’t like those stories after all. Not the ones I deal with, anyway.”

They both looked at the painting again. It was the same as when they’d looked before, and Vlad breathed an inward sigh of relief. He had enough on his plate without having a haunted painting to worry about.

They returned to wandering among the paintings until Vlad called Jack’s attention to Van Gogh’s Starry Night. “What do you think of this one?”

Jack looked self-conscious again as he turned to the painting.

“You don’t have to say anything profound,” Vlad told him. “Just think about how it makes you feel.”

Jack calmed under the assurance and let his eyes wander the painting for a while. “I mean, obviously it’s really pretty. I like that the brush strokes are really big.”

“Yes, it’s a style that Van Gogh is well known for.”

“It looks kind of like something from a dream, y’know?”

Vlad regarded the painting again. “You’re right, it does remind me of something I’ve seen in my dreams before.”

~~~

They enjoyed lunch in the museum’s food court, after which Vlad led the way to a hall that he was sure they would both enjoy.

Jack’s face lit up when he spotted the first dinosaur display, a bold triceratops posed with its head up and mouth open. “Now we’re talkin’!” he declared as he looked down the rest of the hall.

They strolled among the dinosaurs, admiring what the ancient beasts left behind and trying to imagine what their lives may have been like. As with the paintings no one wanted to risk letting the real thing get destroyed in a ghost attack, but they were casts of the original fossils and thus good enough.

“Hey, Vladdie,” Jack said as they looked over an allosaurus exhibit. “Do you think dinosaur ghosts are a thing?”

“I haven’t heard of any being found,” Vlad replied after some thought. He certainly hadn’t come across any, even in his extensive exploration of the Ghost Zone. “But the Ghost Zone is a truly vast dimension. Who’s to say that they don’t exist in some far-flung corner that rarely sees contact with more modern ghosts?”

“We should go look for them sometime!”

“Hah, maybe so,” Vlad said with a small smile. He had to admit that he’d love to see a dinosaur ghost as well, if they existed. “That would be quite an adventure, wouldn’t it?”

Accidental Marriage

Mitzi summoned them all to the sun room the following day. Vlad faced her with less trepidation than before, his usual anger toward Jack having faded to background noise since the apology. “I have decided on an optional trial for you to consider,” Mitzi declared as they gathered round. She lifted the artifact and placed it on the table before her. “If you pass this test of trust I will give you your heart back without complaint.”

“So what will it be, then?” Vlad asked, eying the artifact warily.

“Jack will take care of your heart for the next forty-eight hours. Accomplish this without incident and you will pass,” Mitzi replied. “So how about it? Do you trust him enough to give him your heart?”

Vlad broke out into a cold sweat as he considered it. The condition would guarantee an end to this whole matter in two days, but allowing Jack to watch over the artifact was...

His heart beat frantically within its glass prison.

“You don’t have to,” Jack said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I can keep doing this as long as it takes!”

“But we can’t let this whole mess burden us forever,” Vlad replied. He knew that even Jack would grow weary of having this ghost constantly disrupt his life in the name of the trials, no matter how much he liked spending time with Vlad. This was a sure way out, but the thought of literally putting his life in Jack’s hands terrified him.

“Do you need a moment to think about it?” Mitzi offered.

“I’m—” Vlad pressed his hand over his mouth as he agonized over it, thumb digging into his cheek and index finger pressing the opposite cheekbone. Jack had promised. Surely he could do this for two days, and there was no condition to keep Vlad from staying nearby for the duration. He could endure the anxiety for the next two days and then he would be free to figure out their relationship going forward, without Mitzi and her trials hovering over them. Yes, he could endure that. He’d suffered through far worse before.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Maddie said hesitantly. “Jack cares about you a lot, Vlad, but I don’t think he should be saddled with this.”

He distantly appreciated Maddie’s honesty. She knew Jack better than anyone, she was only being realistic.

But at the same time, he worried. There had been a spark of... Something, the previous day. A feeling he didn’t want to let go of. If the trials became a burden to Jack, and if that drove him away...

“Vlad, you don’t have to do this,” Jack said again.

At last Vlad lowered his hand and took a deep breath. “Do you want to do this, Jack?” he asked, doing his best to keep his voice steady.

“It’s your heart, Vlad. You should decide—”

“I would like to take what you want into consideration before I make my choice,” Vlad said as he turned to him.

Jack brought a hand to his head, brow creased with worry as he considered Vlad’s question.

Vlad swayed slightly where he stood as he watched Jack. Everyone in the room was watching with him.

“I want to do it,” Jack said as he lowered his hand. “I’ll do it.”

“Very well.” Vlad turned to Mitzi. “Then I accept the terms of this trial and I look forward to getting my heart back in two days’ time.”

“Very good. Then hand it over to him and we will commence the trial.” Mitzi stood and passed the artifact to Vlad.

He stared down at his heart for a few long moments, the sight of its frantic rhythm only heightening his anxiety. Vlad turned to Jack, who looked every bit as worried as he felt. “I need you to take care of this, Jack.” It was difficult to speak, anxiety had his throat in a stranglehold. He pressed the artifact into Jack’s waiting hands. “Please don’t let me down.”

“I won’t,” Jack said, holding the artifact close to his chest. “I promise.”

“Best of luck to you both,” Mitzi said, looking very pleased with herself. “You may do as you please for the next two days.”

They left Mitzi in the sun room. Maddie stopped them as they walked through the library.

“So we do have the artifact in our possession now,” she said as she eyed it. “Maybe we could see if we can undo it ourselves—”

“No!” Jack and Vlad said in unison.

“It’s too risky,” Vlad said.

“If we mess up even a little it could kill him,” Jack added.

“Alright, you have a point,” Maddie said, a tad taken aback by how quickly the two had given their answer.

“I still can’t believe you actually gave it to him,” Danny said, staring at the artifact in shock. He looked up at Vlad. “What’s with you right now? Just, why?”

“I’m tired of this ghost’s antics and I decided to put a little faith in your father,” Vlad replied, annoyance creeping past the anxiety. “It’s just two days. We’ll be fine.”

~~~

They made it through the first day and night without issue. Vlad was always nearby throughout and only disappeared for brief stints to take care of his cats, as expected. Jack didn’t even see it as an insult to his abilities; Vlad was simply worried, as he had every right to be. He was really going the distance by trusting Jack with this after what happened twenty years ago.

And Jack, in turn, felt like he was going to lose his mind from the sheer anxiety of it all. If he messed this up Vlad could die. Even if Vlad didn’t die it would hurt him, and Jack so desperately wanted to avoid hurting him again. The artifact felt like a lead weight no matter how he carried it with him, while at once being something he assumed to be so delicate that he feared what would happen if he dropped it even a few inches onto any surface. Any time he lost sight of it for more than a few minutes he panicked, even if he was in fact holding it at the moment. In all it had been a miserable twenty-eight hours so far.

They’d made plans to watch a movie together earlier that morning. It was during preparations for heading over to Vlad’s house that Jack decided to hide the heart. Nightmare scenarios played themselves back in his head over and over, of him knocking the artifact off a table and breaking it or dropping it or some other accident, and so he decided that the best way to keep it safe would be to store it under lock and key.

Key code, anyway. Jack opened up the ghost-proof safe and carefully placed the artifact inside, then muttered the code under his breath as he punched it in—they’d be in just as much trouble if he forgot how to get back into the safe, after all.

Jack was already feeling better as he walked away from the safe. It would survive even if FentonWorks were to collapse on top of it—in fact Vlad’s heart would be the least of their worries if that were to happen. They’d only have to dig it out of the rubble and open it in that scenario.

An unfamiliar ghost slid down from the wall where it had been spying on Jack, invisible and unnoticed. It approached the safe with the numbers for the code still in its mind. Its master would be very pleased with this prize.

Vlad let Jack in as soon as he knocked on the door. “Jack,” he began when he noticed something was missing. “Where is—”

“I was worried about dropping it, so I locked it up in a ghost-proof safe,” Jack said proudly.

“Ah.” Vlad relaxed a little. “Not a bad idea, actually. Better than carrying it around.”

They took their time picking out snacks for their Back to the Future movie marathon, chatting away aimlessly about other movies they might want to watch together all the while. Vlad had an indoor theater that they could use, but instead they chose a more comfy setup in the den. There they sat sharing a couch among the dark hardwood furniture and shelves of books and antiques, a snack-laden coffee table sitting between them and the widescreen set into the wall.

The movie was well underway when a ghostly presence filled the room. They both jumped to their feet, ready for the intruder, when the ghost appeared between them and the widescreen tv.

“Greetings, Vlad,” the ghost said in a bellowing, slightly metallic voice. He was clad in a full suit of armor with a helmet that displayed its owner's blocky face across its visor, and a necklace of large multi-colored gems rested across his breastplate. “Today you will have the honor of giving me, the great Reginald, your hand in marriage!”

Jack and Vlad shared a look for a moment, then burst into laughter.

“What makes you think he’ll say yes, ghost?” Jack raised an ecto-blaster that he’d stowed away in a pocket and noted that Vlad had taken one from within his coat as well.

“Yes, what indeed? I’m not intending to marry anyone at the moment,” Vlad added.

“Such insolence,” the ghost said with a scowl. “I’ll rephrase it, then.” He lifted his deep red cloak and retrieved an object from within—the artifact, with Vlad’s heart still inside. “Give me your hand in marriage or I’ll crush your heart under foot. Is that more clear?”

Jack’s whole body went cold upon seeing the artifact. How? When had that ghost—

“Come on, now,” the ghost said with a smirk. “I don’t have all day.”

Vlad lowered his weapon and let it fall to the floor. He gave Jack a look of utter betrayal, eyes wide with fear and face pale. “I can’t believe I trusted you,” Vlad said quietly. He stared at Jack for a few more moments, then slowly walked over to the ghost and stood beside him.

“Very good. Let us be off, then.” The ghost swept his cloak around and the two, one of the gems on his necklace glowing intensely as they vanished in a swirl of scarlet energy.

The light returned to normal. The movie continued as it had been doing throughout the encounter, so thoroughly ignored that it might as well have been on mute. Jack slumped back onto the couch and let the weapon fall from his hand, his fingers numb with shock.

He’d failed. Things had been going so well, only for him to ruin their chances in the second half. Some ghost had Vlad in its clutches and who knew what horrors it had planned for him.

And the way Vlad looked at him...

Jack surged to his feet, fists clenched as he drew himself up. No, it wasn’t over until he ran away and hid like he’d done last time. He’d get Vlad back if it was the last thing he did.

Again the lighting of the room shifted as another ghost drew near. Jack swept up his gun again and prepared for a fight.

Any hope that the ghost might’ve come back for a rematch was dashed when Mitzi appeared before him. “What is going on?” she demanded. “Why has my artifact just appeared in the Ghost Zone?”

“You!” Jack snapped as he pointed his ecto-blaster at her. “You were in cahoots with that ghost, weren’t you? You were gonna hand Vlad over to him all along!”

“What ghost?” Mitzi asked as she glared down at him. “And put that thing away while I’m talking to you!”

The ermine ghost flowed from her shoulders in a flash and wrapped itself around Jack’s arms, yanking them down to keep the ecto-blaster away from Mitzi.

“Hey!” Jack struggled against the ghost, only for it to wind itself around his body and pin his arms to his sides instead.

“Now tell me what happened,” Mitzi said, a little calmer now. “What did this ghost look like?”

Jack’s ire cooled a little; Mitzi would already know what the ghost looked like if she was working with him, after all. “Big, wearing some kind of techno armor with a cloak, said his name was Reginald...”

“Oh dear.” Mitzi looked embarrassed. “Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “Let’s go find your family. We’re going to need all hands on deck to deal with this and I don’t want to repeat myself.”

~~~

Vlad woke up on a dais. Reginald had done something to force him to fall asleep soon after they arrived in his lair, he had no idea how much time had passed between then and now.

The dais had been built within an elaborate ballroom with sweeping arches and tall windows that gave clear views of the swirling eddies of the Ghost Zone beyond. Red garlands and sharp white flowers like fragments of bone decorated every inch of the place, giving it an elegant but hostile feel. A crowd of ghosts milled around the room, most of them of the skeletal variety, finely dressed in black and shades of gray. They had been invited to a very special occasion.

Vlad looked down at himself and found that they’d left him in his usual suit for the occasion, either because it was already fancy enough or because he wouldn’t last long enough to merit something nicer.

He had no idea how he would make it out of this. Reginald had not let on to what he planned after marriage, but given that he held all the power in this situation it couldn’t be good. That the ghost might simply kill him immediately after the vows were said was a distinct possibility. There just wasn’t enough time to figure a way out of this...

“Welcome to the rest of your life, sleeping beauty,” Reginald said with a smirk. He stood across from Vlad on the dais and now wore a suit of gaudy gold armor with a red cloak and accents, the artifact hanging from his belt. “Enjoy it while you can.”

The rest of the proceedings passed in a blur—Vlad was oscillating between panic and being consumed by thoughts on how to escape and took no notice as the dusty lich in robes mumbled the vows they would be agreeing to.

“Well, what say you?”

Reginald’s voice snapped Vlad back to the present. He looked up, and Reginald patted the artifact at his belt once he had his attention. Would it even be worth delaying in the hopes that he’d figure something out before Reginald had the chance to dispose of him afterward? Wouldn’t it be better to die now before the wretched ghost could lay claim to everything he owned?

“Just say what’s on here, and the name of the one you would bind yourself to,” the officiator said as he passed an ancient-looking piece of paper to Vlad.

The vows were surprisingly simple. Apparently ghosts didn’t like to waste time on such things, though they had a far longer span of existence to look forward to than average humans did.

Reginald wrapped his fingers around the glass globe at the artifact’s center, his hand big enough to nearly hide the heart within. He would crush it if Vlad didn’t obey.

Naked survival instinct pushed Vlad into reading the vows aloud: “In all the vastness of the Ghost Zone there is but one I wish to bind myself to, power and soul.” Vlad shuddered a little as Reginald took his hand away from the artifact; apparently he would wait a bit before doing the deed, once the vows were said. The thought made him feel sick. “With them I will share all triumphs and failures, all joys and sorrows. Together we will face eternity. This I promise to you—”

A black-gloved hand dropped onto the artifact, attached to an arm clad in an orange hazmat suit.

“—Jack Fenton!?” Vlad stared in shock as Jack threw off the rest of his potted plant disguise and grabbed at the artifact with his other hand as well.

“That’s right, Vladdie!” Jack said with a grin, ducking under a punch from Reginald as he did so. “I’m gonna get you outta here! And I brought the whole family to help!”

An explosion went off on the far side of the room. Bits of wedding cake flew through the air, splattering onto guests and decorations, as Maddie stepped through the smoke with a Fenton Bazooka in her hands and started firing on the guards.

The guests scattered as the skeletal guards started pouring in.

Back on the dais a tug of war had broken out between Jack and Reginald. Each had both hands on the artifact and was trying to swing the other off of it.

“You might want to be a little more careful with that!” Vlad said, wincing as he watched the two swing around again. It was a wonder they hadn’t pulled it apart yet.

“Wretched oaf! Just what do you think you’re doing?” Reginald said as he tried to kick at Jack and missed. “Now I’ll have to go through a mountain of paperwork to get the next wedding set up!”

“I’m saving my best friend!” Jack declared. He blocked a kick from Reginald with his own boot and pushed him back. “We’re going home, whether you like it or not!”

“Best friend?” Reginald laughed. “That is funny. Do you have any idea who you’re trying to save?”

“Quit trying to mess with me, ghost!” Jack glared at him over the top of the artifact. “It won’t work!”

The sick feeling that had been driven away by Jack’s arrival returned. No, he wouldn’t—

“Why don’t I show you.” Reginald turned a dial near the top of the artifact with his thumb.

—a painful jolt of power surged through Vlad. The black transformation ring appeared without his bidding and split, revealing his ghost form and his secret.

Jack stared at Vlad in shock, though his grip on the artifact never wavered. “What...? Vlad?”

Vlad instinctively wanted to hide his face from Jack, for what little good that would do. The sudden wave of shame and fear mixed into a heavy feeling of nausea in the pit of his stomach. This was not how he’d wanted any reveal to go.

Reginald let out a long laugh. “Hasn’t your so-called friend attacked you before? And I recall him putting out a call for ghosts who would be willing to go after you in the past as well. Some friend he is.”

“But, why did you do it?” Jack asked, his eyes still on Vlad. Pleading, probably for some explanation that would keep his worst assumptions from being proven right.

Vlad could think of no lie that would satisfy those terms. Not in such a short amount of time, anyway. So he settled for the miserable truth. “Because I was angry, and stupid, and selfish,” Vlad replied as he looked away. “I thought getting back at you would make me feel better, but it never did.”

Reginald tried to wrench the artifact out of Jack’s hands, only to find that the man still had as firm a grip on it as ever.

“But we were having such a good time at the museum...” Jack said, the pleading look replaced by sadness. To Vlad’s surprise it made him feel even more sick to see it.

“I did have a good time with you then. Things got... A bit easier after you finally apologized,” Vlad said. He looked up at Jack again and took a deep breath. Ever since he’d started feeling better around Jack he’d known that this was likely to come up. If only it had been under lighter circumstances. “And I also need to apologize for what I’ve—”

An ecto-blast bursting over the rug at his feet interrupted any further discussion. Vlad staggered back and looked up at the source, finding Maddie on the other end with her ecto-rifle still raised and ready to fire.

“Aren’t you forgetting someone, Vlad? I always knew there was something rotten about you.” Maddie took aim, her finger closing around the trigger. “I suggest you start running.”

Anxiety turned to cold gut-wrenching fear as Vlad focused his full attention on Maddie. His ghost form might be a little stronger after the power injection, but he was still too weak to even conjure a shield, let alone try to fight her off. If she caught him he’d be done for.

Vlad darted forward, intending to duck past Jack and Reginald, only for a shot from Maddie to shatter the ornate vase ahead of him and drive him back in the opposite direction.

“What? No! You can’t kill him until he’s bound himself to me!” Reginald howled. “Guards! Protect him!” One of the gems on his necklace flared green as he gave the order.

The skeleton guards that had been pouring into the room to fight the Fentons turned and focused their attention on blocking Maddie’s shots or lunging at her once they got close.

“Maddie? Maddie, no!” Jack released the artifact and dashed over to his wife. “Maddie don’t kill him! Please!”

“Not now, Jack. I’m busy.” Maddie paused just long enough to swing Jack to the floor in a controlled throw and resumed her onslaught. “Kids, restrain your father and watch my back.”

“Wh—” He sat up, and was immediately hit and tied up by his own Jack o’ Nine Tails.

“Sorry, dad!” Jazz said, giving him an apologetic wave before activating her Fenton Peeler and shooting down a charging ghost. 

Guard after guard fell as Maddie fired, her shots always scattered around Vlad’s current location.

Vlad overturned a table for cover and darted behind it. Maddie blasted holes in it behind and ahead of him, forcing him to break cover while she paused to reload.

“Maddie! At least let him explain himself!” Jack struggled against his bonds, trying to get free, and only succeeded in falling over.

“He had sooo many chances to explain himself before now,” Maddie replied as she raised her rifle again. Rather than fire she took an ecto-grenade from her belt pouch, pulled the pin, and hurled it into the cluster of guards that were trying to get between her and the target.

Vlad was moving before the grenade had a chance to bounce a second time. It exploded directly behind him, close enough that it knocked him into a roll that left him on his back.

With a yelp he scrambled back to his feet and started running again as another shot from Maddie’s rifle knocked out the guard just behind him.

“Maddie, stop!” Jack said, wincing as Vlad dodged another shot.

“Don’t worry about it, Jack,” Maddie replied as she fired another round of shots that dropped yet more guards near Vlad. “You’ll thank me later, I promise.”

“Kids!” Jack turned to Jazz and Danny instead, who were watching Maddie’s back as she’d asked.

“Dad, it’s gonna be fine,” Danny asked as he reeled in the Jack o’ Nine Tails and prepared for another shot; both he and Jazz were dressed in hazmat suits like their parents, a sight that had made Jack proud beyond words as they were setting out on the rescue. “Vlad’s not gonna die.”

Jack tried wriggling out of the cords again and found that they were starting to loosen.

At last the stream of guards slowed, and Maddie finished off the last few as Vlad’s frantic flight brought him to the dais again.

Vlad lost his footing and hit the floor hard, the last of his energy long spent. He lifted his head to find Maddie standing over him—she’d thrown Jack to the floor yet again to give herself time to dash over. The sight was enough to make his heart feel as if it was trying to escape his ribcage.

“Any last words, Vlad?” Maddie asked as the whine of a charging ecto-rifle filled the air between them.

“I wish I’d just talked to Jack to begin with.” Vlad screwed his eyes shut and waited for the end, too tired to escape.

Reginald snatched the rifle by its barrel and lifted Maddie into the air. “Enough of this! You will stop—”

Maddie kicked off his chest, dropping the rifle and drawing an ecto-blaster instead as she vaulted through the air. Three well-placed shots shattered the gems on Reginald’s necklace before she even touched the ground.

“No!” Reginald dropped the rifle and staggered back. “How did you—”

Jack scrambled over to them, having finally gotten back to his feet, and threw himself over Vlad. “Maddie, I know you’re mad—”

Maddie straightened and breathed a sigh of relief. “Don’t worry, Jack. I’m not going to shoot him.”

“You’re not?” Jack sat up, still clutching Vlad in both arms.

Vlad clung to Jack like a terrified cat, returning to human form as he sat up. “But you just—”

“Used you as the perfect distraction, yes,” Maddie replied with a sunny smile. “Thank you for doing such a good job, by the way. Your abject terror was very convincing.”

Jack and Vlad shared a glance—they were both blushing.

“The three of us are going to have a long talk after all this, though,” Maddie added, her eyes sharp as she glared at Vlad. 

“Yes, Maddie.” For once he wasn’t looking forward to being able to talk to her.

“I’m just glad you’re alive!” Jack blubbered, and buried his face in Vlad’s neck as he started crying in earnest.

There was no response Vlad could think to give right now, save for sheer bewilderment. Even after discovering how hostile Vlad had been to him, he still cared enough to cry over almost losing him. The blush that settled on Vlad’s face was one of embarrassment this time. Perhaps he had been taking Jack for granted, at least a little. It really was amazing, the work that a sincere apology could do.

Vlad looked up at Maddie again. “Were you planning to attack me all along? And was that really necessary? Just look at the state Jack’s in now.” His coat was going to be quite soggy after this.

“Oh that was spur of the moment,” Maddie replied. “Our original distraction got derailed, so I had to think fast. This one worked even better than the one we originally had planned.”

“Distraction for what—”

“How dare you ignore me!” Reginald hauled himself to his feet, the artifact clutched in one hand. “You’ll pay for such insolence! If I can’t have him then no one can!” He hurled the artifact to the floor. It shattered on impact, leaving a pile of fractured metal and broken glass behind.

A shot from Maddie knocked Reginald to the ground once again, his suit twitching as its electronics glitched from the damage.

Vlad let out the gasp he’d taken as Reginald threw down the artifact. He was alive, to his immense shock. Pale and shaken, to be sure, but alive. And currently having his ribs ground to dust from how tightly Jack was hugging him again.

Reginald lifted his head, the terrible grin on his face falling when he realized that Vlad was still very much alive. “How?!” Reginald cried as he stared at the remains of the artifact. “That should’ve killed you outright!”

“I returned his heart while you were all so distracted by the chase.” Mitzi stepped out from behind one of the scarlet curtains and sauntered over with a smirk on her face. “Maddie made it quite easy with her clever little play. Excellent work, darling,” she added with a nod to Maddie.

“I do admit that it was cathartic watching Vlad run for his life,” Maddie said. She turned to Vlad, her smile dropping as she added, “I might not have been trying to hit you, but I’m still very angry over what you’ve done.”

Vlad drooped a little under the force of her glare. “And we’ll talk later, I understand.”

Jack breathed out a long sigh of relief, his face still pale from watching the artifact shatter. “I guess it’s over now.”

“Yes, it seems so.” Vlad pushed at Jack, who released him. With a sigh Vlad got to his feet and straightened his coat. The blush was back, and now he couldn’t find the words for what he wanted to say. “This probably sounds meaningless after all that’s happened, but I’m sorry for the whole, sending ghosts after you and all of that. I’m honestly not sure why you’re willing to give me another chance.”

“I’m not sure you really meant it,” Jack said with a shrug as he stood.

“Huh?” Vlad stared at him. That did not compute.

“Well I mean, if you were really trying to kill me why didn’t you just hire a human hitman? I never would’ve seen that coming,” Jack said, his tone suggesting that this should’ve been obvious.

“Yes, I was wondering the same,” Maddie added. “Honestly that’s one of the reasons I didn’t just shoot you on sight for what you’ve done. Of all the things you send after Jack, it’s ghosts? It’s like you were trying to fail.”

“Well I—” Vlad had gone completely red now. The whole thing made him feel downright stupid. “I don’t know, I just never thought to use anything other than ghosts.” Had he really been holding back this whole time without realizing it? Was that why he’d failed time and again when it came to disposing of Jack? 

“And didn’t ghosts stop showing up to kill dad after he kicked your butt that one time?” Danny asked with a smirk.

“That was a fluke!” Vlad snapped, his ears burning. “I lost because I was tired!”

Jack burst out laughing. “That was a great fight! Maybe we could do it again sometime!”

“Absolutely not!” Vlad snapped. His ego couldn’t take another loss like that. Even after getting the Skeleton Key he’d still suffered momentary stabs of humiliation over having lost to Jack Fenton in a head to head fight.

“If everyone could settle down for a moment.” The officiator glided over, his feet hidden under the length of his robes—or perhaps he had no feet to speak of. “There’s still the matter of the vows.” He turned to Jack. “Do you accept this half-ghost, Jack Fenton?”

“Well yeah, of course I do! He’s my best friend!” Jack declared. He pulled Vlad into a side-hug, eying the officiator with suspicion. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Then congratulations,” the officiator said, satisfied. “You’re married.” He then tossed a handful of confetti over the two and started toward the remains of the dessert table.

Everyone watched him in stunned silence as his words sank in.

“Wait, what do you mean we’re married?!” Vlad pushed away from Jack and dashed after the officiator.

“But I’m already married!” Jack said, looking worried and bewildered as he trotted after them. “This doesn’t cancel the first one out, right?”

The officiator stopped to address them, looking annoyed. “It’s a separate affair, it doesn’t interfere with any Earth marriages you might have.” He turned to Vlad. “You said the vows that opened the contract, and your partner here sealed it with his agreement.”

“And if we want to undo it—”

“Well you’ll have to complete the paperwork and the rituals to undo the binding,” the officiator replied. He squinted at them for a few moments as he thought it over. “It’s going to be difficult given that only one of you is part ghost, though.”

Vlad groaned and covered his face with one hand.

“Don’t worry about it, Vladdie! We’ll figure it out,” Jack said as he put a hand on Vlad’s shoulder. “As long as Maddie is understanding,” he added with a nervous laugh.

“You really think I’m going to acknowledge a ghost-marriage as valid?” Maddie asked as she joined them. “And on the bright side, maybe it’ll help reign in Vlad’s more...” She gave him a look. “Annoying tendencies.”

“Maddie—!”

She cut him off. “Also if anything does happen to Jack, I know exactly who I’ll be blaming first.”

“Maddie stop, we both know he wouldn’t do that!” Jack said, pulling Vlad close again.

“Or couldn’t,” Danny added. “Vlad’s kinda incompetent, let’s be real.”

“Oh shut up!” Vlad snapped, only to receive an even bigger smirk from Danny in return.

“Guess Mitzi’s plan worked out,” Jazz said with a knowing smile. “Though I’m not really sure how well getting dad and Vlad to team up will work out for the Ghost Zone...”

“Yeah yeah, keep being smug that you figured it out before anyone else,” Danny said with a roll of his eyes.

“Plan?” Vlad turned to Jazz. “What plan?”

“She wanted to get you and dad to reconnect all along so you’d stop causing trouble in the Ghost Zone,” Jazz replied. “That’s why she set up the trials the way she did.”

“That’s right,” Mitzi added as she joined them. “Even down to making the artifact and spreading rumors about it that would get your attention, and convincing you that you’d said Jack’s name while you were panicked about losing your heart.”

Vlad blushed with embarrassment yet again. It was one thing to play him for a fool, quite another to brag about it in front of an audience.

“Come now, darling, you should be happy. You finally heard what you needed to and set foot on the right path. Isn’t that worth all the hardship?”

Vlad gave her the biggest scowl he could manage, fists clenched at his sides.

“You’ll thank me one day,” Mitzi said knowingly. “For now though, I think it’s time we said goodbye.”

“Should we do anything about Reginald before we go?” Maddie asked, casting a glance at the ghost.

Vlad glowered at the ghost and pulled himself from Jack’s arms. “I think a little extra punishment is in order for him trying to force me to marry him, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, even you wouldn’t go so low as to do that,” Maddie said. Vlad was beyond tired of getting sniped like this, but perhaps he did deserve it. “Let’s show him what happens when he messes with us.”

“That might not be necessary,” Mitzi said, gesturing to a small group of ghosts who had just entered the room. They had their eyes fixed on Reginald and violent thoughts in mind given the way they glared at him. “Those ghosts were bound in service to him by that necklace. They’re quite unhappy with him, so perhaps you should leave it to them. You have more important matters to attend to anyway.”

~~~

The ride home in the Specter Speeder was quiet. At last it glided through the Fenton Portal and coasted to a stop in the lab.

“Woo! Home sweet home!” Jack said as he swung the hatch open and stepped into the lab.

“Not bad for a day trip,” Maddie added as she hopped out after him. “And as for our talk, Vlad—”

Vlad sighed. “Can it wait for now? It’s not like I can get away from you,” he said. He was still tired, despite having his full power back; the sheer stress of everything had taken its toll, and he was in no condition to be having an intense conversation at the moment. 

Maddie considered it. “Fine. We’ll put it off until tomorrow, then.”

“Glad to have you back, V-man!” Jack pulled Vlad into another hug, and Vlad let him.

“Yes, glad to be back, Jack,” Vlad said. He resisted the urge to rest his head against Jack’s shoulder. “Thank you for saving me back there. It seems I can put a bit of trust in you after all.”

Jack looked at him with surprise. “Even though—”

“Yes, even though you caused it. You actually came back and helped fix things, and for that I’m grateful,” Vlad said, giving Jack a sincere smile.

“Gross!” Danny said, completely ruining the moment—likely on purpose.

Vlad glared at him. “Get used to it, Little Badger,” he said, smirking as he draped an arm around Jack’s shoulders. “Oh, and be ready for me to make him even more embarrassing than usual. You’ve been warned.”

“Send him back,” Danny growled.

“Aw, cheer up, Danny! You have a super-powered uncle now!” Jack said with a grin. “Just think of all the fun things you could do together!”

“Let’s put a pin in that until after we’ve had our little chat,” Maddie said. “But for now let’s take it easy. Things have definitely been interesting lately.”

“Hey, we should finish watching Back to the Future!” Jack said. “That stupid ghost interrupted us earlier.”

“That he did. Sounds like a good idea to me,” Vlad replied.

“I’ll get the snacks going!” Jack declared, and he dashed up the stairs to the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t mind watching it again, so I’ll join you,” Maddie said, smiling as she followed Jack out of the lab.

“You have a lot of stuff to answer for, Vlad,” Danny said before Vlad could leave the lab. “I’m not gonna let you off easy.”

Vlad turned to him. “Yes, I will have to work on that,” he said. In truth he was dreading more than a few of those, especially the clones. Maddie just might try to kill him when she found out about that... “But for now I suppose you’ll be down an arch-nemesis. I do hope you don’t get bored.” Vlad cleared his throat. This was all so terribly embarrassing. “Sorry for... All of that. I’ll prove to you that I mean it.”

“You’d better,” Danny said, arms crossed over his chest. “Cause if mom finds out even a fraction of the stuff you’ve been doing to us, you’re dead.”

“Just think of this as extra incentive in your rehabilitation,” Jazz said with a sunny smile. “Don’t let us down.”

Vlad forced a smile. They were absolutely going to use this to blackmail him. He had no doubt. “Well then, I look forward to working with you both.” 

[yellowocaballero]

I think Go Straight at the Cul-de-Sac was my actual real first yellowocaballero fic so I'm pretty interested in Untitled Document number scarvio dlc! Got any tidbits?

Yes! It's actually a fic I've tried several times to write lol. There's a very scrappy ScarVio fic with my ScarVio protaganist, and honestly the pla fic sequel became a vehicle to depict the scarvio protaganist.

But, come on. Adaman's descendent showing up in the ScarVio DLC? How could I NOT?

I don't know if this'll ever fully get written, or written as it is now, so most of what I have under the cut.

Perrin was waiting for me at the airport, fiddling anxiously with a camera and scanning the crowd for somebody else. The airport itself was nostalgic. All rural Sinnoh airports boasted two landing strips, a polite and peeling building, and a tattered stack of brochures welcoming you to our humble abode. Kitakimi was legally a Johto territory, liberated from Sinnoh in some war fifty years ago, but I didn’t have the impression anybody here remembered being a territory of anybody. That was rural life: your problems were your own. And your neighbor’s, if they were interesting enough.

There were only twenty other passengers on the plane, so I shouldn’t have been hard to find. We were unceremoniously shuttled straight from the plane to the ground, showcasing the great efficacy of rural life. Perrin was sitting on the hood of her rinky little car, scanning the disembarking group for somebody who probably looked very old and important. Maybe she walked with a withered cane and carried an air of great gravitas. I was at the advantage, knowing perfectly well what she looked like - her grandmother had assailed me with roughly two dozen family photographs - and I began walking towards her immediately. 

She noticed me, and I saw her mental journey clearly. Was she walking towards me? Am I meeting a secret second person, who I hadn’t known about? Was this the person I was meeting? Granny didn’t say anything about - wait, no, shit, she totally did.

I waved. Perrin probably thought she did a great job hiding her shock. She really didn’t.

“Elder - uh, Warden!” Perrin quickly hopped off the car as I approached, holding out her hand for a handshake. I stared at the hand for an embarrassing few confused seconds before I remembered the concept of handshakes. Perrin interpreted the silence as a shameful faux-pas and quickly bowed at the waist instead. “Thank you for coming!”

“I’m not a Warden.” I bowed back at a shallow angle. Perrin visually wondered if she was supposed to call a woman probably six or seven years her junior ‘Elder’. It was maybe the most accurate term but we would simultaneously die of embarrassment if she did. Unfortunately, her grandmother would hit her on the head with a stick if she used my name. “But you can call me that. Thank you for hosting me.”

“Thank Kitakami,” Perrin said wryly. “They’re the ones providing our rooms. Here, let me take your bag. I hope you aren’t already motion sick from the plane - these roads are pretty bumpy.”

Nothing was as bad as carts. Seriously, nothing. “How long’s the ride?”

“Only thirty minutes, so buckle in.” Perrin accepted my bag and opened the sedan door. She whistled, waving the bag around and ushering an expectant and eagerly barking Pokemon further into the car. “C’mon, bud, leave space for our guest. And no chewing! Do not bring eternal shame unto my family!”

I poked my head around Perrin’s shoulder and saw a fluffy Sinnoh Forme Growlithe wagging his tail so hard his entire body was swaying. He barked again, shuffling backwards as Perrin wedged my bag underneath the seat, and promptly began sniffing the bag for drugs and/or Growlithe treats. 

I couldn’t help but smile. I moved forward and crouched in front of the Growlithe, holding out my hand and letting him sniff my wrist. He barely needed the introduction - he immediately began barking even louder in exorbitant delight, facing down the prospect of a new friend. 

“The shade of his ruff is light,” I remarked. Lighter than I was accustomed to, anyway. It took ages to even grow accustomed to the sight of these things in cars. And, you know, not trying to maul me. “He’s bred well. Did the breeder select for the light ruff?”

“Ah, yeah! His breeder’s an old friend of the family. Apparently they’ve been specialized purebred Sinnoh Growlithe breeders for, like, a hundred years. They said that lighter fur helps prevent them from overheating in hotter climates. I spend most of my time in hotter climates than Sinnoh, so I asked for that trait specifically.” Conscientious and thoughtful. Somebody who looked after her Pokemon well. “Sinnoh Forme Growlithes are supposed to be lucky. Is that true?”

I scratched the Growlithe’s ruff, and his tail beat heavy thumps against the scratched seat. “Their luck’s changed for the better.”

“That’s…pretty cryptic.” Perrin just sounded impressed. “Grandma was on the money about you.”

I looked back and squinted at Perrin. “What else did she say about me?”

“Wow, look at the time, let’s get going!”

Fair. I wouldn’t really want to meet me either. 

*

Believe it or not, Perrin had actually asked for help. 

I know. Hold the shock. I gave Kai heart attacks every time I walked into the room for four straight months, and I still made her nervous. A Slakoth could give Kai a heart attack and I liked to think we were friends these days, but I knew that I was socially your great-great-great grandmother at best and the fastidious clan kids were perpetually on their best behavior around me. I was used to people being afraid of me for my impressive ability to use their bones as toothpicks for my Garchomp, but a young person’s fear of disappointing their family was arguably more powerful. When you had family like Kai and Perrin had family, the fear was absolutely crippling. 

Personally, I lived in a state of constant embarrassment. A few months ago I tried to blow out a flashlight. Seriously. 

According to the world’s most trusted source, Perrin was the pride of the new generation of their family. They had a strong artistic tradition, and Perrin’s photography had won national awards and hefty grants since she was a child. Her favorite subjects had always been her culture and traditions, and her work had been frequently praised for its spiritual gravity and respect for ancient tradition. As an adult she had shifted to nature photography. Then the conversation diverged to bragging about Perrin’s cousins (veterinarian, miko, miko, successful traditional painter, Can You Believe He Moved To Hoenn!, miko-who-just-had-a-baby, Potter Who Married A Woman Good For Her!, trainer-with-five-badges-and-counting) before eventually circling back around to Perrin’s greatest flaws as a human being. Namely, that she never came home and had missed New Year’s two years in a row. And She Never Called Either!

Perrin had called the clan (For The First Time In Months Can You Believe It!) two weeks ago excitedly spilling an entire tale of a cursed Ursaluna roaming the thick forests of a small island that hadn’t belonged to Sinnoh for years. It wasn’t idle gossip: Ursalunas were sacred Pokemon, and a cursed Ursaluna was dangerously bad luck. Cursed sacred Pokemon could wither nature, starve local Pokemon, bring monsoons and thunderstorms, and shame the clans for neglecting their duties as caretakers. I wasn’t so sure about all of that, but I knew from long experience that a cursed sacred Pokemon basically amounted to a very powerful rabid Pokemon that endangered everything and everyone around it. These days there were probably people other than me who could put that Pokemon down, but - well, traditions were meaningful. 

A certain somebody was ludicrously famous for her talents in subduing cursed Pokemon. They had given me a lot of medicinal bags, which had somehow become traditional. I hadn’t known how to break it to them that I was just going to beat the curse out of the Pokemon. Always worked. 

Apparently all of Perrin’s cousins called her and harassed her about bringing cryptid stories to Grandmother and sending the clan into a tizzy. Her miko cousins threatened to strangle her if she had dragged the Hero of Hisui out to the middle of nowhere to vanquish a hoax. Perrin obviously hadn’t expected her clan to send the Hero of Hisui out into the middle of nowhere to vanquish what may-or-may-not be a hoax. She probably hadn’t intended to turn a little problem into an entire religious and legendary production, but that was the way rocks slid. 

“I hadn’t expected them to send you, obviously.” Perrin hadn’t been exaggerating about the bumpy road. My necklace thumped against my sternum as I fought the urge to grip the sides of the seats. Perrin was happily chatting away with one hand on the wheel, which didn’t ease my anxiety. “I honestly just thought Grandma was going to mail me some medicine and tell me to purify it myself. Like, I had full miko training before I was twelve, I could have done it just fine. But now you’re here, and - well, it could be an opportunity! I mean, it’s obviously an honor. It’s an honor first. I’m very honored.”

The Growlithe barked agreement regarding the importance of my august spiritual presence. “I’ll tell your grandmother you said that first.”

“Thank you so much. I was just wondering if I could interview you, or something like that? Maybe we can pray together. Religion used to be such a source of inspiration for me, and I’ve been thinking about going back to those basics. Start from the ground up. And if you can’t connect me with my heritage - like, who could?”

Artists. Changed a lot and yet never changed. “Returning home to Celestic City sounds like the first step.”

“Home’s not the right vibe,” Perrin said. And she said I was cryptic. “I need something new. But old. I need the right vibe. Maybe this will - like, realign my energies.”

Was I purifying a cursed sacred Pokemon or was I playing sidekick to a photographer’s artistic journey? I felt as if I should say something disapproving about how this was serious business. If the Bloodmoon Beast was actually real, then the entire forest could be cursed. It could have been cursed by a legendary Pokemon - and I had just finished kicking Darkrai out of Hearthome City yet again. This wasn’t a field trip.

Adaman would be laughing his ass off. He had always wanted to fight the man and ignore work. Probably would have, if he wasn’t ‘the man’ and work hadn’t involved protecting his people from extinction. He would have approved of this - all of it.

“Hope I can help,” I said diplomatically. “Is that a bus stop?”

“The bus smells terrible, be glad I saved you from it.” Perrin gestured grandly at the rising swell of homes and packed dirt streets rising before us. Growlithe poked his head out of the window, panting excitedly. “Welcome to Kitakami! Home of a lot of past and not a lot of present.”

“I’m pretty used to that.”

Maybe this trip would be nostalgic after all - no, that was certain. The only thing up for debate was whether it would be my nostalgia, Perrin’s, or Sinnoh’s itself.

I closed my eyes and grasped the Pokeball swinging from my necklace. May this journey end in only the typical amount of disaster. 

Maybe I’d even get lucky this time.

*

 Mossui Town. Population: small. Inn: none, but we have a community center with rooms! Store: one, but it sells handmade wool socks! Mood: very honored to meet you! 

“I am truly sorry for the humble welcome.” The Town Head Mr. Kobayashi was very distraught by this. If he had given me a non-humble welcome I would have shot myself. “Every hand is on deck preparing for the festival. You should have seen my face when the Diamond Clan Head called me herself about your arrival - I must have looked like the ogre itself! And about the Bloodmoon Beast, too! I thought that was merely a child’s rumor.” Obviously realizing how that sounded, he quickly added, “We are honored to host you, of course. Your arrival during our very own festival week - it must be the hand of our ancestors. Why, my own clan had close ties to the Pearl clan for hundreds of years.”

I could tell. Mr. Kobayashi had already given us a quick tour of the village, which had taken a pleasant fifteen minutes. The only building constructed in the last thirty years was the community center, and it was Mr. Kobayashi’s current pride and joy. The village had obviously been built by Johto immigrants to Sinnoh - the unique cultural blend was distinctive. Probably why Johto and Sinnoh had been in a lukewarm tug-of-war over it for a few decades. 

Perrin and I glanced at each other. She grimaced in a slight apology. I twitched an eyebrow. This meant nothing to her. 

I had to do this way too often. “Don’t worry about it.” I gave Mr. Kobayashi my best polite smile. I had been reliably told that it was utterly inscrutable, but that was their problem. “We’ll be unobtrusive. You…seem to have enough on your plate.”

A child ran past us, pursued by a waddling Sentret, screaming. We watched him pass. Another child and a Ninetails pursued the Sentret, also screaming.

“We’re quite busy, yes.”

Perrin leaned towards me, stage whispering. “There’s a school trip.”

That explained the surprising quantity of children. Normally places like this had ten kids max. I had counted at least fifteen already, and most of which were wearing some dorky uniform. The school uniform kids seemed distinctly overwhelmed.

Mr. Kobayashi smiled, about as authentically as a Mr. Mime. “It’s our honor to teach a new generation of…very foreign children about our sacred traditions.”

“Paladeans are weird and rude,” Perrin whispered, even louder.

Mr. Kobayashi’s eye twitched. “Boisterous.”

“One of them doesn’t blink.”

“Please let one of us know if our children bother you,” Mr. Kobayashi said. “It’s quite unacceptable behavior to interrupt you in your important work. When - if a child does so, please send them towards me or their teacher Ms. Briar.”

“I think they’re funny,” Perrin confided in me. “They all have lisps. Apparently they’re walking into the houses with their shoes on. Baby criminals.”

“In my day we executed rude children,” I agreed.

Nobody who knew me as a child was around to contradict me. Such freedom.

Mr. Kobayashi muttered something that may have been ‘if only’. Perrin snickered.

Westerners. Fantastic.

I deposited my suitcase and bag in the obviously hastily cleaned and emptied room on the top floor of the community center. I could already hear the sound of children laughing and running through the halls. Perrin was staying to my right, but the rest of the visiting schoolchildren must be living on the other side and across the hall. I had to sympathize with Mr. Kobayashi - nobody wanted to expose my august personage to children left unsupervised on a field trip in a foreign country they’re probably already interpreting as their playground. Judging from the sight of a Pokemon battle in the courtyard already visible from my window, they were from a training academy too. Training academy kids these days were the worst. My students had been so much politer. Granted, teaching back then had involved a lot more whacking with sticks then teaching these days. And training under me had been a bit of a ‘best of the best’, ‘send our top child from our small clan to do us proud’ type of thing. 

The community center had a small cafeteria, and Perrin and I descended upon the food like ravenous Luxrays. I only had to remind myself every five minutes to use table manners. This was a fantastic improvement from last year, where I had to remind myself every five seconds. Diamond and Pearl ate with their hands or straight from the bowl. The Jubilife crew hadn’t, but I had relatively few memories of ever sharing a meal with my friends in Jubilife.

After an embarrassingly short period of time I stood up and pushed my chair in, taking my tray. “I need to go exercise my Pokemon and survey the area. Let’s meet up again this evening during the festival. Are any of the Pokemon species on this island endangered?”

Perrin stared at me, mouth full of fruit salad. “I’m pretty sure not. Why?”

“Just double checking.”

Two hours of being escorted around a new area was two hours more than I was used to. I was itching to explore this place myself. I was definitely a hypocrite - I was here for a holy mission, but most of my mind was on having fun too. Maybe that was just human nature. We always found a way to have fun no matter the difficulties. Anything that mitigated the damage.

There was civilization to explore, but that always came last. I bought a map from The Shop and consulted the nice lady on the most isolated part of the island, which was apparently a thicket of woods that was too dangerous for most people to enter. I headed straight there, obviously. 

When I entered the wild area I withdrew the first Pokeball on my belt and tossed it onto the ground. The ball flared white and a bolt of light struck the ground, coalescing into an adorable and petite Leafeon. She immediately sat down and meowed politely at me.

“Just exploring today,” I told her. She rose immediately, bright green tail waving excitedly. “Which makes this a good opportunity to work on your form. Remember: the Leaf Blade should dazzle.”

Leafeon meowed in a specific timbre that I knew she had picked up from everybody else. It was an extremely distinctive ‘yes, sir!’ sound. The new learned it from the old. A Pokemon composed of sentient rocks could make that sound. 

The first thing I noticed about the island was the impeccable biodiversity. The conservation laws passed two hundred years ago and strengthened fifty years later must have been well-enforced and respected. I had been wondering how an Ursaluna had ended up here, of all places, but the answer was quickly obvious: the island had Pokemon far, far outside of the Sinnoh ‘dex. Even the Johto ‘dex. It had Pokemon from everywhere. It was absolutely fascinating. 

They were also ridiculously strong. I had to pull Leafeon back and substitute in Rampardos or Milotic several times. Staraptor escaped its ball and tried to chase down likely looking prey about three different times, again, and the entire trip ground to a halt when I found a waterfall and began practicing light refraction with Milotic. We had gotten second place in our last contest, which was frankly embarrassing. We had to step up our game. 

I did contests now. It was a long story. Byron asked me if this meant I would be more ladylike now and I almost bit his head off. 

With power came precision, and I trained my contest Pokemon in battling for strength and show. This was an unexpectedly great training ground. This team had recently reached the level where most wild Pokemon didn’t pose a big challenge. Leafeon was already sweating up a storm, leaf flexing in the humid forest air.

The strength of these Pokemon meant that this was probably the kind of town where people didn’t venture far into nature too often. I noticed two Ace Rangers immediately, which tracked - the province government usually stationed a few eight-badge trainers in high-danger areas like these as protection for the populace. In towns like this the people and Pokemon had learned to co-exist a long time ago, and they rarely bothered each other, but there was always some idiot kid or tourist that triggered a fatal stampede. Or a Bloodmoon Beast. 

Around inhabited areas, Pokemon tended to attack Pokemon of a similar level. A kid running around Hearthome City with a level five could reliably find other pests and bugs to battle. I was willing to bet that the local kids ran around and battled around the center of the island. At the top of that mountain and the depths of these woods, however - anything went.

I had expected to be completely alone. I definitely wasn’t expecting any of the schoolkids to wander out here. But when I finally reached the mouth of the forest, bypassing five different warning signs without a glance, I saw a small group of kids already clustered at the end of the path. They were fervently arguing about something. Alright, time to walk away and hop a fence. 

“ - go with you!”

“Why are you stalking us? We aren’t even doing anything! Go home and help Gramps chop wood or something.”

“But I’m supposed to be the one showing her around!”

“Yeah, and you did! Great job!” The older girl’s tone was incredibly sarcastic. She had to be the younger boy’s older sister. Only a sister cut to the bone like that. “Now we’re going to have fun bonding time for two beautiful and powerful women in these dangerous woods. You can have fun kiddo bonding time tomorrow. Okay? Now shoo, we’re busy.”

As I approached, I got a better look at the kids. One of them was an older teenage girl - who, actually, was probably only a few years younger than me. In Hisui she’d probably be married by now. In Hisui her auntie would tell her that her sharp tongue and unkind face would mean she would never marry. The recipient of her sharp tongue and unkind face was a mousy boy hunched over in a defensive slouch, who was probably fourteen or fifteen. Standing with them was a pale girl with white hair, who watched the proceedings stoically. She was small and thin, and was probably fourteen at best. A Gardevoir hovered behind her, eyes flashing softly in the dim lighting. Leafeon, trotting at my feet, meowed curiously. 

The two siblings jumped, whirling around to see me standing on the path in front of them. The pale girl saw them move and turned to face me too. The siblings scowled, but the pale girl just looked at the Gardevoir. The Gardevoir hummed, and the girl nodded back.

“More outsiders?” the sister cried, enraged. “Who are you supposed to be?”

“Another visitor?” the boy said, flinching back in pure shock. “What’s with all of the visitors lately…?”

The pale girl squinted at Leafeon. Leafeon tilted her head. The pale girl tilted her head back.

“Yeah, we normally get, like, one a year.” the girl folded her arms, previously high levels of aggression jumped towards unprecedented heights. “Now we got a billion! This dumb school trip! Some crazy important million year old Warden from Sinnoh curing our bad juju! Gramps said he’ll chop our heads off if we’re rude to him? And now you!”

This really wasn’t any of my business, but the well-being of village children was everybody’s business. There was nothing kids loved more than pulling off dangerous stunts and almost getting gored on a Rhyhorn horn ten times in a row, and near-death experiences were important for childhood development, but surviving was important for childhood development too. I wasn’t about to escort them anywhere, but I should at least baby gate this thing.

“That forest is supposed to be pretty dangerous.” I nodded at the high fence and the three different ‘abandon all hope etc’ signs plastered around it. The girl stared at the Gardevoir, whose horns glowed lightly. “Are your Pokemon capable of defending you?”

That incensed the girl. She practically growled, stamping her foot. “Who the hell are you to tell me where to go on my own island? Of course my Pokemon are strong enough! Are you my mom?”

The boy hunched his shoulders, staring miserably at his sister. “Mom did tell us never to go in there…”

“Yeah, Kieran, when we were babies. We’re plenty strong enough now.”

“I dunno, Carmine…”

I looked at the pale girl. Her belt was half Ultra balls. She might be fine. But the two siblings had only Poke balls on their belt, and I wasn’t so sure. 

Ugh. Time to do the responsible adult thing. I reached around my belt, unhooking a miniature Apricorn ball from the back and expanding it. Hisuian balls were fragile, and I had recaptured everybody in the ‘modern’ Apricorn balls before leaving. They were still antiques, but they held up well enough. “For safety reasons, I’ll have to ask that one of you battle me before going inside.”

“What are you, a cop!” Carmine grabbed a Pokeball off her belt, expanding it immediately. “You’re so on, you wanna-be adult!”

Kieren blanched. “You left your main team back at the Academy, Carmine!”

“Yeah, and I don’t need my award winning team to fight this narc.” Carmine halted for the first time, glancing to her right and looking at the pale girl. “Unless you wanna go for it, I guess.”

The pale girl blinked at her.

“Oh, right.” Carmine cleared her throat, turning to face her completely. Then she spoke way, way too loudly, almost yelling. I instinctively flinched and scanned the area for lurking predator pokemon. “Do you want to fight this lady?”

The pale girl’s eyes narrowed, and she finally spoke. Her accent was strange, her mouth forming the sounds clunkily, but she did have a bizarre lisp. Despite her jinbei, she must be one of the exchange students. “I told you not to shout.”

“Ah, sorry.” Carmine briefly looked a little embarrassed. “You - uh, picked up on all of that?” Gardevoir hummed, horns glowing. “Right! Thanks, Gardevoir! Anyway, do you want to fight her? I want to fight her, so don’t say yes.”

The pale girl turned her head towards me, and for the first time I saw a large white hearing aid on one ear. That explained a bit. She narrowed her eyes and stared at me. I allowed myself to be stared at. She checked out my Pokeballs - all Pokeballs, since my team now was raised from scratch. She glanced at the polite Leafeon. Then she turned back to Carmine, visibly dismissing me. 

“She doesn’t look strong, so I don’t want to bother. Go ahead.”

[ren-144p]

Hi! Silent admirer of your RE stuff (it's been so long since I've played these games, but you've been re-inspiring me!) - so I'm curious about "Madrid, 1996" for the WIP asks? 👀

ohh god— going for the only one legitimately named and simultaneously the one most unpolished bdhdjsjkl

as of right now, “Madrid, 1996” is a series of snippets intertwined with meta about itself and records of my convos with @bennidraws (which is what started it all!!), written somewhat as a branch of my luis study project. set entirely pre-games, it follows the story of Luis and Carlos who meet, by chance, at an Umbrella conference, and in two weeks develop a particularly deep relationship. Carlos falls in love with an older man freshly out of a personality crisis, Luis falls for a repressed boy who's just discovering himself for the first time, and both of them turn each other's world upside down. contains dog imagery, yearning, cigarettes, and—on many occasions—Carlos' dog tags clinking against Luis' cross

it's rough and unpolished and not even fully planned out, branching within itself into multiple endings. but i've been chipping away at it when i'm not working on anything else and i feel like eventually something will come out of it. too much love has been put into those conversations for the fic to amount to nothing ❤️

*

“They ever give you a break, soldier boy?”

Carlos turned towards the voice, surprised to see anyone out of the building at this hour, especially in such a downpour. It belonged to the same man he had seen earlier, except the well-cut suit was nowhere to be found, now replaced by an intricately decorated leather jacket and a pair of well-worn jeans. He held a single cigarette between his teeth and a lighter in one hand, looking at him with curiosity through the hair falling into his eyes; and chuckled, clearly having noticed Carlos' persistent gaze on him.

“You look like a rabbit in headlights,” he teased, weaving the lighter between skilled fingers. It lit up with a quiet click a moment later, and Carlos took a while to admire the way the flame illuminated the man's face when he leaned into the light.

"No breaks.” He watched how his thin lips curled around a puff of smoke. “The shifts are short though.”

The stranger hummed, as if amused by the answer, and leaned back comfortably against the wall before extending a pack of cigarettes towards Carlos.

“Care for a smoke?”

*

“You should come find me later, soldier boy. When your shift is done,” the man said, throwing the butt of his cigarette on the ground. “Room 102. On the fourth floor,” he added with a wink, turning back, but Carlos' hand wrapped around his wrist before he could go.

“Who am I asking for?”

The stranger smirked, leaning in so close their noses almost touched.

“Name's Luis,” he said, a teasing note in his voice. “And who am I waiting for?”

“Carlos.”

*

and, as a bonus, a bit of the relevant note i made for this part (and for what's supposed to follow)

something about the terrifying act of inviting a stranger to your room, something about that stranger being a soldier; something about being invited to a hotel room by a man older than you, and something about the confidence with which he does it.

the way every night spent with a stranger might've been your last; the way he didn't know if he was gonna wake up the next morning, and then he did—and then they both did.

[fearlessinger]

Haven't read the book, can u explain why you feel bad for will? What's going on with him?

I waited to reply to this bc I wanted to finish the book first, just in case things miraculously improved at the end (they didn’t).

What’s going on with Will in TSATS is that nothing is going on with Will in TSATS.

He used to be a reasonably fleshed out side character with a pretty full complicated life, but there’s no trace of that in here anymore. TSATS stripped him of every single thing he used to have that did not directly link back to Nico. This was the book that was supposed to finally promote him to main character, but instead it demoted him to not even a character anymore, just a prop in Nico’s story.

Out of Will’s alive siblings only Kayla and Austin exist, and the moment they exit the stage, which happens almost immediately, they are out of Will’s mental & emotional landscape forever. He does not have a single thought to spare for them at any point after that, not even when he finds himself on death’s door, which btw happens quite frequently. He’s not sad abt the prospect of not seeing them again, he doesn’t regret leaving them behind to pick up the pieces, face the same trauma that Lee and Michael’s deaths had put HIM through. 

And of course he doesn’t, because according to TSATS Will does not have dead siblings and does not have trauma at all. In fact, Will’s arc in TSATS is all about learning to understand, accept and accommodate NICO's trauma. Bc Nico has it, and Will doesn’t. 

When Nico asks him whether he’s ever wished to be normal, to not be a demigod, Will’s immediate answer is “no”. Why would he? According to this book the worst thing that ever happened to Will was being attacked by some birds when he was 10. He’s lived an entirely blessed trauma free life, and got cool healing powers (which he’s not allowed to show off at any point in the book, mind you) as a bonus. This answer is NEVER challenged by the narrative; it in fact is implicitly confirmed to be true later on, when we get a nice little scene of Nico opening up to Will and confessing that he, on the other hand, had a rather difficult life and is suffering the aftereffects of it even now. Will struggles to relate, but he really makes an effort to understand, and that, the book and Nico’s narration tell us, is what matters. 

But despite this being the book’s main thesis re: Will, the book can’t acknowledge the canonically established good parts of Will’s life either. Kayla and Austin, like I said, barely exist for a handful of pages. Gracie, Jerry and Yan have been erased from continuity. Will has no friends at camp either, it looks like. The book can’t avoid mentioning Apollo but it makes absolutely sure to never mention him in a clearly positive light. In fact, he’s retconned into having been absent from Will’s life before TOA, and Will fully expects to never see him again after that. 

But mind you, Will’s not allowed to angst about this. Because Will can’t have trauma. He can’t have anything that would divert attention from Nico, the sole star of this book, who needs to be simultaneously the most traumatized and the most supported, most loved person in the world. Yeah this book is a 5 year old’s first Nico Sue fic. It would be cute if it had been actually written by a 5 year old.

This is the logic that governs the entirety of this book’s narrative choices and, following this logic, the handful of tiny additions to Will's backstory in TSATS amount to 

him arriving way too late at camp to be plausibly next in line to be head of cabin after Michael (unless even more of Will’s siblings were massacred in the battle of Manhattan than we had been able to count, which would make the book’s insistence that Will’s never been traumatized even more ridiculous than it already is), 

apparently not seeing his father for years after that despite this contradicting actual prev established canon, and 

having a cool if flawed mom who has a cool relationship with his dad and was totally on board with baby Will getting a sun tattooed over his heart to honor Apollo, his newly retconned super mega turbo absent dad who nevertheless has a really cool relationship with Will’s mom, at like. What. 12? 13? 14? years of age?

and this is why this book makes me feel bad for Will, even though I can’t take anything that happens in it even remotely seriously at all.

[uncleasad]

for that fic ask meme - 14, 26, 50, 53, 55

14. what’s your worst writing habit?

Oof! My entire writing process is one giant bad habit, so it’s hard to pick the worst part 😂

I know I just reblogged that post about ignoring the tyranny of the daily word count, but I’m going to say not trying to write a few words every day, or a sentence a week, or something like that…I let myself get into writing droughts that go on and on and on (and, yes, I’m busier than I was in 2020 and 2021, but I love writing and doing so always makes me feel good), so trying to stop those pauses before they become droughts is something I need to do to break a bad habit.

26. do you like to write one-shots or series, and why?

Both? I write what the idea I have calls for, I guess? (Almost all of my series are collections of one-shots; I have never thought of writing a series consisting of multi-chapter fics, but one kinda sneaked in there 😳)

I enjoy—and sometimes specifically choose an idea because it fits—writing one-shots because they’re a good way for me to get back into writing when I’ve been too busy with life or bogged down in one of my long WIPs. Last Christmas’s Mischief and Mistletoe is a great example of this: short, self-contained, and seasonally relevant 😏 I liken these sorts of fics to artists doing a doodle or quick sketch as a warm-up.

Sometimes while writing a one-shot I’ll think of something that will open the door to a sequel, sometimes there’ll be nothing specific but nothing to rule out more in the same vein (e.g. the Tales from the Salvatore Kitchen series), and sometimes readers will have a suggestion I hadn’t thought of that I love that will turn a one-shot into a series of one-shots.

It’s nice to have a series or two where you enjoy the world/setup, because it’s fun and easy to dip back in and write some more (so all the benefits of a one-shot) and you (I!) can develop ideas, characters, and events without feeling guilty about not updating (vs a single multi-chapter fic where readers have started reading and want more 😏); there’s less expectation.

(My true favorite things to write are the big, expansive, complex stories, but they’re simultaneously my least favorite for all those reasons 😂)

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? 53. when writing, do you have an outline? and do you stick to it?

These two are related, so I’ll tackle them together. I’ve linked to and written about George RR Martin’s post about gardening before, so there’s good background there and I’ll (try! to) make this the short version.

I mostly have a lightweight plan for what I write: a collection of scenes, or some important character beats or plot points, and often, but not always, an idea of what the ending is (sometimes my idea for the fic is “I want to write this scene that is probably somewhere in the middle of an actual fic 😂 but more often it instead is “this would be a fun situation to throw them into; let’s see what happens!”). That’s as close as I’ll get to an outline 😳

I’ll often also make a series of notes as I’m writing, again of the same types of things as in the “plan,” plus dialogue and details, as a sort of “living outline” for what’s next/coming up. But nothing formal or well-structured (which does make it harder to do those bigger stories, naturally). I have hated outlines since elementary school, so…

I’ll diverge from what I have “planned” any time I have an idea I really like or think will improve the story, although to my recollection it rarely happens, and when it does it’s more small changes. I’m much more likely to split “planned” chapters and make a fic 4x longer than I originally thought it would be 😂

So, needless to say, I mostly write what comes to mind. Sometimes that’s filling in the big blank spaces between things I know I want to include, and sometimes that’s deciding where the whole story itself will go. (My mind is wont to come up with crazy twists and tangents #this is the way my mind works 😂)

55. do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I don’t think I have any WIPs that I’ve started writing that I never intend to come back to/finish. I have an entire laundry list of WIPs that I have not written on in months or years, though.

My story as a current fanfic author goes like this:

Started writing Have At Least One Totally Epic Love in spring 2020, ran out of steam/got stuck near the pivotal moments.

Had an idea for After Ten Long Years and started writing it to try to work through that block, but got stuck on it.

Had an idea for Old West Hosie; started writing it to work around that block, then got stuck on it, too.

Had an idea for Hosie Alternate Realities; started writing it to work around that block, then got stuck there, also 😳

[Cue Hope Mikaelson: “Love, Lose, Grieve, repeat”]

At some point in there, I wrote the first one-shot in the Tales from the Salvatore Kitchen series, You Complete Me, to break the cycle and publish something, which turned into 3 more seasonal one-shots (initially), and then I finally finished Have At Least One Totally Epic Love, almost exactly 1 year after I had left off. 2021 I think was a pretty good year, lots of shorter works finished, but also several more big works started where I once again ran out of steam/got stuck/got distracted by the shiny new idea 😂

(Also, after the experience with Have At Least One Totally Epic Love, I rarely actually write and publish things serially unless I have a really, really good idea of the scope of the fic and also know I’ll have decent amounts of writing time—so there’s nothing out there that readers would perceive of as abandoned. The biggest example of a fic I’ve written and published serially since HALOTEL is And I Will Always Love You, 8 chapters, 32K words, written from February to May.)

So approaching 200K words of incomplete WIPs now, but nothing I intend never to finish.

Thanks for asking! Lots of great choices 😀 Hopefully I didn’t bore you to sleep with the answers!