leaves-of-dykes

[leaves-of-dykes]

Ya He Perdido Mi Abuelo

Written April 4th, 2024

TW/CW: death, grief, loss and transphobia.

This poem is about the poor relationship I have with my dying grandpa. It's a rough one, a very personal one. I wasn't gonna share it originally, however, I feel it could be good for me. Anyway, we haven't talked much since 2021 when I came out to him and my grandma as a trans woman. We've since reconnected a bit, but he received a stage 4 stomach cancer diagnosis a few weeks back. He's down to 120lbs (54.4kg). So yeah. He doesn't have long and I've been doing a lot of reflecting. Trying to hold onto the good memories. That all has led to this poem.

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I sit down with my handcrafted drink and I look deeply within myself and I look around me while I think I see people, people in good health And you? You got one foot in the grave This relationship I cannot save

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No matter what I'll stand by your side I cannot be a man, though I tried I know it will tear you up inside but I want to set all that aside Let's think of all the good times we had When things were fun, before they got bad When we used to watch basketball and when you'd help me up when I'd fall I'd laugh at all your funny jokes as we played cards with the other folks When we'd drive through hills in Kentucky I'd hear stories if I was lucky You made the best breakfast casserole It was enough to make me whole I want everything to be alright Like my childhood that was so bright

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Even if it all ends on bad terms I will remember the good times even while you're resting with the worms I'll think of you when I hear wind chimes

-Butch D

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[leaves-of-dykes]

Pissin’ on Company Time

April 3rd, 2024

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Another long day at the factory Waiting to be put out of misery I cannot find a single task to do So then I go figure that “that’s my cue”

-Butch D

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[leaves-of-dykes]

Spring Flowers

April 3rd, 2024

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I sit pondering on my porch thinking about this crazy thing; this thing I cannot wait to forge Fresh and blooming much like this spring, it hangs over me, it's called love Akin to the sun up above I lay down and feel its warmth I stay a while and look North to where the birds wish to return and I think about this sweet femme and the bright colors she adorns There's nothing she says I condemn

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And I am excited to grow; to grow healthy like the spring flowers She just makes these pretty words flow Me and her could talk for hours, just as the birds in the trees do And I know this love is still new I just really want this to last I promise I won't be half-assed

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Let's go do strange things in the woods, where we can be one with nature We can hold hands where a tree stood and think of what we could nurture I want to do right this time 'round even when there is trouble abound I will always make an effort because I don't want us to hurt

-Butch D

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[leaves-of-dykes]

On Gender

Written sometime in October or November of 2023

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Sometimes I think about gender; how beautiful and so complex Throw male and female into a blender, the cisgender, it does perplex

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That's how I would describe myself; the embodiment of taboo Take my book from off the bookshelf Tells a story like a tattoo; a story of peace and good health

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Because I have found my own peace, Society takes great offense They don't understand what they hate and it doesn't make any sense I don't care, I just wanna skate

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They won't change my identity, no matter the intensity Say what I say, wear what I wear I only have my love to share

-Butch D

[leaves-of-dykes]

Howdy! A lil about me:

My name is Butch D, I’m 21+ I’m a butch lesbian and a transgender woman. Pronouns are she/her. And I’m taken by my lovely femme! I love flowers, pretty things, skateboarding, and art. I’m just a silly lil goose for realz. My main account is @silly-skater-butch This account will be my poetry account where I share poetry from my personal writings n such. Hope you enjoy:)

DNI: Dickheads (like seriously, don’t be a dick. Be civil), TERFs, SWERFs, bigots, men, minors, and zionists.