#I have answers and now I can help myself

[coffeeeldritch]

It's happened

23 years of misdiagnosis, gaslighting, and fighting for my life I finally got answers. I'm clinically diagnosed with autism.

[valhallavalgrace]

How have your interactions with your floormates been? Do any of them seem particularly friendly?

I think this might be your guy to talk to, Leo, just a hunch...

prev ask

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[carnivalls]

.

See the thing is. I know I'm good at writing. Like I have my weak areas or things I need to improve in, but it's not a skill I otherwise spend a lot of time feeling insecure about because a) if I don't believe in my writing literally who will b) if I want to publish my writing I ought to at least feel a resting level of good about it because editors and agents likely will not be cradling my face like a prize cat and telling me how talented I am while asking for their edits c) I've always had an audience for my writing even at its worst– I started sharing my original works online when I was around 16 & that really helped sell to me the idea of 'there will always be someone out there who likes what you do' d) untalented men never think this hard about the quality of their works and they always end up published anyway and e) I don't have many other thoroughly developed skills so why not have one I feel good about. Having said this. Awkward feeling to realize you're one of the authorial weak links in your postgraduate creative writing degree's social circle

[necrotic-nephilim]

damn bro you good?

I'M OKAY TY FOR CHECKING IN. i think it just got slightly overwhelmed, both by the amount of asks i received, as well as struggling to find a personal life/tumblr life balance. i love this blog, but as i've alluded to in tags, i'm a live-in nanny for my infant nephew. and i'm very lucky to have this living arrangement and i certainly have a lot of free time, but bc babies have no schedule and like to fight god, it's hard to get into the groove of writing when at any moment, i might have to help with him. it took me a while to get used to it, but i'm still here i promise!

i think as for future housekeeping, i will continue answering the fun asks i get, but at a much slower rate. and i want to go back to posting more serious comic metas as well, as well as just the things i want to post here. i got a little in over my head and i'm very very pleased to have found the fellow freaks in this fandom, i just did not expect to get so much interaction on such a new blog! so while i did not mean to vanish for a month, i do think it helped me adjust a bit and figure out a personal balance! i should be back for good now tho! <3

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[baeshijima]

sometimes u just need to write self-indulgent fluff while eating smth sweet to feel better

[brown-little-robin]

my last week, a visual demonstration

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[britneyshakespeare]

i was crying in front of a sidewalk tonight and someone in a passing car asked to me through their window "you alright?" honestly didnt even know what they expected

[chilapis]

Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Finally properly sobbing after not being able to cry all day is such a great feeling

[millionsknives]

genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry

[ruelpsen]

If I had to choose between cutting off my hand and redoing grad school apps, I'd seriously consider the hand. Be gentle with yourself, it's a fucking slog. What kind of program are you looking into?

Thank you for the reminder to be gentle. This shit has been stressful, and having for various reasons only about a month and a half to actually do focused work on applying has SUCKED. Not looking forward to potentially having to do this again in the future (it's complicated but I'll explain why in a sec), but I am SO looking forward to two weeks from now when these applications are in and it's out of my hands, as much as the waiting game itself sucks in its own way.

As for programs, I don't want to get too specific. I was a double major in undergrad, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've literally never met anyone else with those two specific majors. (Ftr one is a STEM field and the other in the humanities.) I want to keep studying both in some capacity in the future, but to make a long story short I'm stuck in a position where I have to hold off on applying to the program in the humanities for now.

As annoyed as I am about the 'long story' part of that, I'm totally fine with prioritizing the program in STEM for now. Hell, in some ways that's a good thing given the limited amount of time I have to work on applications. But at the same time, I've greatly limited the number of schools I'm applying to so I can focus on creating well-tailored applications for their specific programs and faculty, and that means each potential rejection would leave me with a far smaller share of options. It's a bit of a risk, but damn it I'm trying my best to show how strong of a student I've been and that I would work well with their specific people. Hopefully things work out in the end.

I hope your own efforts have paid off too, wherever life has taken you.

[simplydnp]

What inspired u to get a degree in math just curious now :) :0

i've always been really good at math. for some reason, it comes extremely naturally to me. i chalk it up to genes and also my environment. i was fortunate enough to have 2 very present parents in my life that really valued education, so not only was i reading at an early age, but any time we travelled, we would do math flashcards in the car.

i was told that university courses would be difficult, so i braced for math to get harder. but it never really did. like yes, i had to do homework and study for tests, but i never had to work to understand something, it always just clicked. i think i'm simply hardwired for math. and i really love it. it makes so much sense to me, and it's almost beautiful the way a lot of complex mathematics works. it's like you're tapped into the universe and it's speaking about the mysteries of existence, and you learn to listen and speak back.