#I have adhd I don’t got the patience for all that

[intjsimp]

I’m working on a lil mini doodle comic,… I liked the way INTJ came out soooo I colored him.

Dude ok so I ADORE confessions/emotional confrontations in the rain, like that shit KILLS ME. The comic thing is an out of context argument between enfp and intj where intj gets angry and accidentally confesses. Then the two get all cute and sappy bc they realize they both secretly liked each other. Badda bing badda boom I give you cliche romance tropes. I’m only human man let me have this. This man has my whole heart uwu

[milo-is-rambling]

Who was gonna tell me that reading is fun sometimes

[dollerines]

How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying

So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.

Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !

You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.

All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.

So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”

At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.

WHAT I MANIFESTED :

Desired body and face

Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly

And everything in my sub playlist

My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷

Moving countries I now live in ny

Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before

Extremely rich rich like hella bands

Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue

Plus +++

NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.

Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!

YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

As someone about to be 24 in a few months, does it really get better the older you get? Genuinely confused and wondering because I feel like everyday I'm dragging my feet to just catch up to my peers -Sun

I promise, it really does. Our twenties are rough. That’s our very first decade on our own! You’re just getting started. And your peers who seem like they’re miles ahead of you aren’t really on the same path as you — not any more, not like when we were all in school and we had the same things to learn and the same few years to learn them in, and someone else would tell us when we were through. Now it’s all up to you what comes next.

So all of the ones who have lovers now, or their own place, or a bank account or a couple of dogs or a sense of personal style — none of them are on the same paths either. One of them will raise three kids and then years later start again with two more and do everything differently, and the first kids won’t know how to forgive them for it. And the one going on to their second degree will realize ten years later that they really hate the field they studied for. And they’ll decide to drink less or work less and have to live with the quiet when they slow down, and they’ll move in with their lovers and learn they don’t know anything yet about what they want in love or how to get it. Everyone starts over, over and over again. It’s not a race, it’s a rhythm.

But maybe you really are spinning your wheels and you don’t know how to get traction. How’s your depression? I needed meds, not the anti-anxiety meds they recommended me but proper adhd meds that took years to get. I needed my own space too. I needed new ideas. How kind are the people around you? Do they think good things about you? Are they constantly in crises? Does hearing them stop you from hearing yourself? I had to leave my hometown. I had to unlearn a lot. If you can’t leave, can you find one new person? One quiet place to think? One new author, one new song that’s angrier or lovelier that you can dance to at night or sing to yourself through a long day?

Did things get bad when you were still a kid? You might need extra time with the part of your mind that got stuck young and scared. Somatic therapy is really good. Music helps, and green space, and time working with someone who needs your company — kids or animals or older patients. Most schools and hospice programs need helpers. Making things for yourself helps too — trying until you learn what you like to write or eat or plant, not because it’s mature but because it’s yours.

And maybe you’re actually quite good at some things that you haven’t noticed because they feel easy to learn. How’s your photography, your writing, your memorization, your patience with small kids or spreadsheets or cleaning the little corners of a place? Maybe you don’t know; maybe it’ll take time to find out. If you’ve been diagnosed with anything like neurodivergence or chronic pain, the nearest town to you might have a vocational rehab center that’ll work with you to find your strengths and work you can do.

Anyway, I’m proud of you. You’re looking for hope. There is as much that’s good in the world as all the bad, and some of it is near you. I hope you know you belong here and we need you.

[ellecdc]

hi my lovely, i was wondering if i might please be able to make a request! absolutely fine if it doesn’t inspire you or you don’t get around to it for a while or you don’t like it it’s no pressure!!

i was just wondering if i might be able to request big brother sirius or best friend barty (my loves) and a reader who is so stressed with classes and workload- ive been having a hard time lately and i feel so out of my depth and its seems that no one else is struggling like me and my adhd really isn’t helping me cause i try and get my work done and i just end up sitting there for hours and then breaking down cause i can’t do it and i just feel so useless

so sorry for going on a tangent i just don’t really have anyone to talk to! again its totally okay if you don’t want to write this just speaking about its made me feel better! i hope you’re doing well my lovely, you bring me so much comfort! and i hope birdy is behaving herself

🪩

cheering you on babes! sorry for the wait in this request, and thanks for your patience in me <3 hope your workload isn't causing you too much grief, and both Big Brother Siri and BFF Barty have asked me to tell you to make sure to take breaks and be nice to yourself!!

please note: my requests are currently closed as I finish exams and work through the requests that I currently have.

BFF!Barty Crouch Junior x stressed!reader [GN] who Barty forces to take a break

You were on your umpteenth read through of your notes for your upcoming Herbology exam when your books were rudely ripped out from underneath you.

“Hey!” You shouted at the unknown assailant when you raised your head to see Barty carefully piling your notes together and shoving them into his own book bag. “Barty, give them back.”

“No can do, Treasure. Let’s go.” 

You watched, dumbfounded, as Barty began to walk away from your table in the library before he turned around when he realised you weren’t following him. 

“Hello!? Earth to Treasure?” He sing-songed on his way back before he waved a hand in front of your face, which you quickly swatted away.

“Barty, this isn’t funny.”

“I agree.” He answered quickly; his tone garnering a severe quality that made your skin crawl. “You’ve been shacked up in this library for Salazar knows how long, I don’t know when your last real meal was that didn’t consist of tea and Honeydukes sweets, and when was the last time you got fresh air? You know? That stuff that's produced by trees and life and not tainted with the musty smell of old books?”

“Barty, I need to prepare for this exam.” You pressed.

“Which you have, and if you humour me right now, I’ll even help you study more later. Now, let’s go.” He demanded as he took your elbow and hauled you up from the table and dragged you by the wrist unceremoniously behind him. 

After numerous failed attempts at getting Barty to tell you what he was doing, where he was taking you, what he was up to, why he was dragging you across the castle, you spent your trek across the castle grounds in a begrudging silence with only the occasional muttered protest escaping your lips.

Finally, Barty released your wrist as you stopped in front of an expanse of wall encasing the southern grounds near the quidditch pitch that didn’t seem to get much traffic at all.

You watched as your friend dug his arms into the bag much further than should have been humanly possible alerting you to the fact that he had, indeed, cast an illegal undetectable extension charm.

He was going to make you fail your exam and an accomplice to a crime. 

He pulled out a large stack of ceramic plates he no doubt pilfered from the kitchens and placed them beside you before reaching back in and retrieving another stack.

“Barty. What are you doing?”

“Blowing off steam, as the muggles say.” He explained simply as he moved to stand beside you and placed a matching stack of plates on his other side.

“By scrubbing dishes outside like a down-and-out House Elf?” You asked bemusedly as you picked up one of the plates and twisted it around in your hands. They didn’t look dirty.

“Ye have so little faith, dear Treasure.” Barty said theatrically before he launched a plate at the ancient stone wall and watched it shatter before the pieces rained down into the grass below it. 

“Barty!”

“Too much talking, not enough throwing Treasure.” He called over to you as he hurled a second plate at the wall.

“Can you at least tell me why we’re defacing school property?!”

With a long suffering sigh, Barty allowed the plate he’d been in the process of picking up clatter back onto its stack unceremoniously.

Barty moved to stand in front of you, crouching down ever so slightly so as to force you to make direct eye contact with him and placing a hand on each of your shoulders should you consider bolting.

“Alright Treasure, listen. Are you listening? I love you, you’re my best friend, my soulmate, my ride or die, I would live, die, and kill for you; you fucking suck when you’re stressed out. Okay? You’ve been living in that library for a week, you’re barely eating or getting any vitamin D which is already difficult enough in sodding Scotland without you actively avoiding the sun’s rays, and…I miss you.”

You looked between both of his green eyes which oozed nothing but earnestness and concern before letting your shoulders drop.

“Fine, but why are we smashing plates?”

Seemingly trusting you not to take off, Barty returned to his full height with far more pep in his step than he had before he read you like one of your Herbology textbooks.

“Great question! I was trying to decide between this and shoving Gryffindor’s into the Black Lake; I figured you appreciate this better.” He said as he shot you a wink. “Now get throwing, Treasure!”

Deciding that it was folly to try to argue or reason with your…capricious friend, you picked up a plate and lobbed it dutifully at the wall.

What started off as you merely humouring your friend in his antics quickly left you breathless, smiling, and squealing in delight with each smash of a plate. You and Barty spent much of the afternoon cackling and dancing under a shower of broken porcelain before you reparo’d the plates and did it all over again.

You hardly realised the sun was beginning to dip behind the trees when you turned to look at Barty; his face flushed red and a wide grin spread across his face which you were sure was mirrored on your own.

“Thank you, Barty.”

His smile turned softer as he looked at the plate in his hands somewhat abashedly. “No need to thank me, Treasure. You know I’ll always look out for you, ‘specially when you forget to do it yourself.”

“Easy there, Junior; I'll start to think you’re going soft on us.” You teased as you nudged him in the arm with one of your plates.

He scoffed and shoved you away from him. “I will not tolerate this slander.”

“Is it slander if it’s true?”

“Defamation.”

“There’s no one here to hear me.”

“Hey, Y/N!” The sound of James Potter’s voice rung through the air as he walked towards you from the Quidditch pitch. “It’s good to see you outside of the library! I was getting wor-”

You never got to hear what James had been worried about as Barty quickly began lobbing plates in his direction. 

“Barty!” You shouted as James began dodging the assault.

“Sorry, he spooked me.” Barty deadpanned, not sounding sorry at all as he continued throwing plates at the Gryffindor chaser.

“I’ll catch up with you later!” James shouted as he started jogging towards the castle in the opposite direction of his attacker.

“You know, for a quidditch player, you have terrible aim.” You grumbled at your friend as you shot him an unimpressed glare.

He returned your glare in response to your insult. “I’ll have you know, if I wanted to actually hit him, I would have.”

“Soft.”

“Alright, that’s it. Pull out your wand, Treasure.” He barked as he dropped his plates, brandished his wand and took a duelling stance.

“I am not fighting you, Junior.”

“Those were fighting words.”

And before you could retort, he had picked you up and thrown you over his shoulder before he began marching towards the castle. 

“What are you doing?!” You squealed as you playfully swung your fist against his back.

“Throwing you in the Black Lake.”

“Barty!”

You didn’t return to the castle until the sun had fully set; feeling tired in a good way and far happier and more relaxed than you had felt in days.

[mischiefmaker615]

Relax

Summary: Hyper Y/N 

Rating: PG13

Requester: @Nina87230022 (wattpad) 

Note: This was originally requested to be Y/N having ADHD but tbh i don't know the condition enough to feel comfortable writing about it. it's not so much accuracy but i don't want to risk offending anyone who has it and i describe it wrong so the one shot had to be adjusted to "hyper" 

Loki’s fingers tightened against his book, gradually raising it closer to his face so it somehow heightened the chances of concentrating better. The sound of shoes passed by him for what felt like the hundredth time before it would then come back to go to opposite way. His brows furrowed and a low hum threatened to leave his lips while his patience drew closer and closer to withdrawing.

Finally, as soon as the sound of a chair could be heard being scrapped against the wood flooring, did he snap his book shut and he rose his eyes quickly towards the sound with a frown.

Low and behold you had found yourself balancing upon a chair, reaching as high as you could for the drapes that hung from the hook by the largest window in your bedroom. you finally opted to balancing on one foot- somehow thinking it would give you extra height before a frustrated exhale left your nostrils. ‘I need to go higher..-‘ you thought and as soon as your feet left the chair, you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist and catch you from probably falling onto the ground.

A chest was pressed against your back, your hands flying to the forearms of the being behind you before you felt yourself being turned and set on the ground with less than a delicate landing. Turning around, you rocked a guilty look while your dress flowed with your quick movement, seeming to match the faint red color in your boyfriend’s cheeks while he opted to hide his bothered state and look down at you.

‘’by Norns sake Y/N- what are you doing?” he asked, his voice hiding his frustration weakly while he clasped his hands behind his back.

You barely flexed a muscle to wave at your present activity but he quickly held a finger up to stop you and drew in a breath. ‘’with your words darling.’’ He reminded, a little gentler while you looked up at him with his careful eyes that were ready to capture your monologue.

‘’so I figured while you were reading I’d busy myself around our room cause I noticed the chambermaid didn’t put on the sheets straight so I just decided to strip the bed and do it myself but that made me realize sheets are for warmth and I was cold at that point so I went over to made the fire bigger and then fire made me think about light so I turned around to find the light of my life- you- and then figured you may not have enough light while you were reading so I was going to open the curtains more but then noticed how they don’t exactly match to well with the new colored sheets we got then we picked them out together so I was going to take them down and go hunt some new ones before you stopped me just now.’’ You rambled, putting together everything into words in one breath while Loki gave you the familiar stare where it had no expression but his mind was trying to figure out things as fast as you had spoken.

‘’..darling..’’ he began with a low tone, calm even but careful so you wouldn’t think he was bothered. ‘’first of all, don’t ever go up onto a piece of furniture and risk yourself falling. Second of all, we have maids that can fix all that with the mere ring of a bell or a holler. Third of all, we’ve talked about calming your mind and finishing one project at a time so you are not accidently left with several possibly unfinished ones.’’

‘’I know it’s just- I thought I’d have no problem doing it all this time.. i like the work-‘’

Loki gently scooped up both of your hands and placed a kiss on both, having to lean doing a little so he could look you in the eyes with love and patience. ‘’I know you do darling, but here we have our own responsibilities and the ones you’re used to on Midgard are already being taken care of.’’ He reasoned, knowing it was still an adjustment from having come from Midgard to Asgard and adjusting your independence but at the same time your wild mind tended to get the best of you.

‘’besides,’’ he added, wanting to cheer you up when he placed a hand on your stomach. ‘’if you are to carry one day, you must learn not to exhaust yourself.’’

Your cheeks heated up and you turned away with your hands covering your cheeks. ‘’don’t talk about stuff like that- we haven’t even-‘’

Two hands wrapped around your waist then, pulling you back so your back was up against his chest again with his lips pressing to your exposed neck ‘’perhaps it’s a good time to start, distract you from other things..’’ he smirked, his voice low and but a whisper which made you shiver.

‘’your mother is expecting us this afternoon- we haven’t got time and need to finis-‘’ your steps were interrupted by Loki once again picking you up from the ground, arms around your own to pin at your sides while your feet dangled. ‘’Loki!”

‘’you worry to much darling and need to relax yourself.’’ He told you, his voice a gentle warning while he buried his face in your hair to inhale your floral scent.

‘’..fine, I’ll leave it to the maids.’’ You sigh with mild frustration while you squirmed in his arms.

‘’relax darling.’’ He warned you again, his voice soothing in hopes it will help while you drew in a breath and fell limp.

‘’faking it darling will not work again, I will only end up catching you to start over, so relax.’’ He told you again with a chuckle while you sighed and tried one more time to squirm out of his arms.

His hold on you was firm, like always and was a battle you haven’t won yet nor you think you ever will. Drawing in a deep breath, you closed your eyes to calm your mind and pushed away any thoughts as best you could before you felt your body begin to loosen and untense. You felt your heart rate begin to slow down and your body slowly lowered so you could stand on your own while Loki kept his arms around you.

Allowing you to turn around to face him, you smiled up at your lover while he moved his hands to your hips, leaning down to brush his nose against yours. ‘’alright darling, I’ll fetch the maid to take over. Why don’t you sit with me for a few more minutes before we get ready to join mother?”

You beamed up at him while grasping his hand excitedly ‘’you could always read out loud until it’s time?”

Loki chuckled and let you pull him over to the couch, taking hold of his book again while you got yourself comfy on his lap and closed your eyes. No sooner did a second pass before you looked at him again while he searched for his previous page.

‘’while reading, have you ever thought about-‘’

‘’no darling. Reading is reading, everything else can wait until I choose to be done.’’ He said calmly, clearly in no rush while he settled back and pulling you closer into him.

‘’wish I had your ability..’’ you shrugged, not entirely sad about it while you rested your cheek against his chest.

‘’then who would keep me busy?” he teased, laughing once you swatted at his arm until it turned itself into a chasing match, Loki laughing while he moved himself between furniture, making you trail quickly to keep up and catch him.

‘’you can’t run forever’’ you tease while you debating jumping over the low table to get to him.

He merely smirked and spread his arms out to his sides while he waited for you to run around to him.

‘’I’m in no rush darling.’’

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life

[dissapointu]

Drabbles: Arcane Characters with an ADHD and Restless S/O

Jinx

“Why are we just sitting here?” you whine, bouncing your leg so hard the table shakes.

Jinx laughs, popping a piece of candy into her mouth. “Because I’m thinking, duh. Gotta brainstorm the perfect chaos plan.”

You groan, standing to pace the room, your hands twitching at your sides. “I can’t just sit here. I need to do something.”

“Okay, okay, calm down, Spazzy,” Jinx teases, jumping up to grab a sketchpad. “Wanna help me draw up some schematics? You get to pick the colors.”

The offer immediately distracts you, and you perk up. “Yes!”

Jinx grins, ruffling your hair. “Knew that’d get you. Now come here and help me blow some minds—literally.”

Vi

Vi watches as you dart around the apartment, starting one task only to abandon it halfway through. Dishes in the sink, laundry on the couch, and a book left open on the coffee table.

“Babe,” she calls, “you wanna, I dunno, pick one thing?”

“I tried!” you shout, throwing your hands up. “But there’s so much to do, and my brain won’t focus, and—”

Vi strides over, wrapping her arms around you from behind. “Alright, let’s do it together,” she says, her chin resting on your shoulder. “One thing at a time. I’ll even race you.”

That catches your attention. “You’re on.”

“Good,” she says with a smirk. “Loser buys dinner.”

Sevika

Sevika’s brow furrows as she watches you tap your fingers against the bar counter, your restless energy practically vibrating off you.

“What’s got you wound up?” she asks, her voice steady and calm.

“I don’t know,” you admit, groaning. “I just feel like I need to move.”

Sevika gestures toward the corner of the bar where her punching bag hangs. “Go let it out on that.”

Your eyes light up, and you’re halfway there before turning back. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Sevika says with a smirk. “Better the bag than my patience.”

You laugh, already throwing punches at the bag. Behind you, Sevika watches, shaking her head fondly.

Silco

The sound of your pacing echoes in Silco’s office as he reviews documents. He doesn’t even look up, simply gesturing toward the empty chair across from him.

“Sit,” he commands softly.

“I can’t!” you exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. “I feel like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin.”

Silco sighs, finally setting his pen down. “Then come here.”

You hesitate but approach his desk. Silco pulls a small puzzle box from a drawer, sliding it toward you. “Something to occupy your hands,” he says.

You take it, your fingers immediately working at the intricate mechanisms. Silco smirks as the sound of your pacing fades.

Vander

Vander leans against the counter, watching you bounce from task to task in the bar. You wipe a table, straighten a chair, and then dart behind the counter to rearrange glasses.

“You ever stop?” he teases, his deep voice pulling you from your whirlwind.

You shrug. “If I stop, I might explode.”

He chuckles, grabbing your wrist gently. “Come here.”

Vander pulls you into a firm embrace, his arms grounding you. “Take a breath,” he says, his voice low. “You don’t have to do it all at once.”

You sigh, leaning into him. “Thanks, Vander.”

“Anytime, love,” he murmurs.

Ekko

Ekko grins as you bounce on your toes, your energy palpable. “You’re like a human hummingbird,” he jokes, tossing you a wrench.

“What’s this for?” you ask, catching it mid-air.

“Help me fix this bike,” he says. “Something to keep your hands busy.”

You beam, immediately diving into the task. Ekko works beside you, occasionally nudging you with his elbow. “You’re a natural at this,” he says, watching as you tighten a bolt.

The compliment makes you pause, a smile tugging at your lips. “Thanks, Ekko.”

“No problem,” he says with a wink. “Now let’s see if we can finish before sunset.”

Jayce

Jayce looks up from his blueprint as you pace the lab, your movements quick and erratic.

“Hey,” he calls, holding up a small gadget. “Wanna help me test this?”

Your eyes light up. “What is it?”

“A stabilization device,” he explains, handing it to you. “If it works, it should keep you steady. If not…”

You grin, already fiddling with the controls. “If not, it’ll be fun to watch me try.”

Jayce laughs, leaning back in his chair. “That’s the spirit.”

Viktor

Viktor glances up from his desk as you tap your foot relentlessly, the sound filling the quiet lab.

“Would you like to take a walk?” he asks, his voice gentle.

You blink at him. “What?”

“A walk,” he repeats. “You clearly need to move, and I could use the fresh air.”

You grin, practically dragging him toward the door. “You’re the best, Viktor.”

He chuckles, leaning on his cane as he follows. “I’ll remind you of that when you wear me out.”

Caitlyn

Caitlyn sets her book down, watching as you fidget with the edge of your shirt. “What’s wrong, love?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, shifting in your seat. “I just feel… antsy.”

She stands, holding out her hand. “Come with me.”

You take it, letting her lead you to the kitchen. Caitlyn grabs a bag of flour and sets it on the counter. “We’re baking.”

Your confusion melts into excitement. “Really?”

“Really,” she says with a smile. “Something to keep you busy—and we get dessert out of it.”

[replaycamera2]

What Your Fave Redacted Character Says About You

Davey - You value a lot of things in a man: the most important being his ability to snap you in half.

Asher - You are the annoying younger sibling who is completely aware of exactly how much they can get away with via years of experience.

Milo - When people ask you what your hobbies are you say “reading” but the silent part of that answer is “fanfiction”

Vincent - I could go on for hours about all the parasocial relationships you’ve had in your life.

Sam - You’re rapidly running out of things other than yourself to blame for your problems, and honestly, it’s just a cry for help at this point.

Lasko - The people in your life have learned not to use the turn of phrase, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Because you will immediately launch into a 20 minute PowerPoint presentation with cited sources on exactly everything that could possibly go wrong.

Damien - Your parents were PTA terrorists. They were planning your bid for student council president while you were still in the womb.

Hux - For the people who think other people are always flirting with them or buttering them up, but they’re honestly just being nice and you never really learned how appropriately reciprocate that because life has taught you that everyone is always after something.

Gavin - God gave you depression and anxiety because if he didn’t, you’d be competing for his job

Avior - You’re either a burned out “gifted kid” or you only just got diagnosed with ADHD in your mid 20s. No in between.

Vega - Dear god do you love to be stepped on

Blake - You can not fix him. YOU CAN NOT FIX HIM.

Elliott - The ultimate fantasy of every demi-sexual out there.

Aaron - Depends: if you’re a straight woman, this is just everyone’s daddy fantasy. Otherwise, you’re a white gay guy. Only they would see a 1-to-1 recreation of their bully and go, “That is my husband.”

Ivan - I’m not saying you’re scary when you’re mad, I’m just saying the Venn diagram of people who have crossed you and the people you never hear from again is a circle

James - Admit it, you find degradation just a little bit hot. Just give in and go for it, it’ll be cathartic, trust me.

Anton - Literally that meme of “Thank you for changing my life.” “I’m literally a white man from Arizona mumbling and mouth-breathing into a mic.”

Geordi - “Patience of a saint” and “persistence of a rock” do not even begin to describe you. We have had nothing but radio silence from this man for 7 months.

Regulus - You just want someone to end your existence without actually killing you and honestly, valid take.

Guy - Your insecurities might scream at every person you meet, but not if you scream louder

Ollie - Your life moves from one disaster to the next and you are desperate for a shred of stability, which is probably why you’re listening to boyfriend role-play.

Morgan - There are two kinds of people in this fandom: Those who know what “19 months” means, and those who don’t.

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 21

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents, smut, mentions of thoughts of suicide.

Word Count: 3.6k

Chapter 20 | Masterlist

“Who do you think you are-” “Shut up!” I yelled as I turned to face her. She closed the door a shocked look on her face. “How fucking dare you.” I said as I pointed at her. “How dare I?” I nodded. “Yeah. As I grew up I realized what a shitty mother you were but I never expected this kind of low from you!” She was reeling. “Shitty mother? You should be grateful to us! We raised you with only the best-” “AND I WAS MISERABLE!” I screamed. “You raised me with so much fucking trauma! You want to know why I was so ‘emotional’? Maybe you should read these!” I tossed the papers at her, the paper clip keeping them together. She grabbed them and within a second her face fell. “How did you get these?” She asked. “My doctor gave them to me when I went to see her today. Asked me of I was taking anything for my ADHD and depression.” I’m sure my face was tinged red, showing how angry I am and I hope she understands the severity of this. “You didn’t tell me.” I seethed. “You didn’t tell me when you knew of ways to help me.” I said as I stepped closer. “Instead you let me suffer and struggle and be made fun of and called the weird kid my entire childhood.” I was in her face by the time I finished. “You let me suffer and consider suicide at fucking thirteen years old when I could’ve been in therapy and on medications to make me function better!” “They only gave us this diagnosis to shove pills down your throat! You don’t have any of this! You were and are just a bad misbehaved child! You needed what our parents gave and that was a good ass whooping! I messed up with you because I was too soft on you.” She stepped past me and I was shocked. 

“Too soft on me?! Smacking me in the face was too soft? Daddy beating the hell out of me with a belt was too soft?! You’re sick in the head!” I said and she scoffed. “I did what I had to do-” “No, you did what you thought was easy! Because you couldn’t buck up and be a decent person or a good mother! Because having patience for your child was too hard!” “WE COULDN’T HANDLE YOU!” She screamed in response. “YOU WERE THE WORST BEHAVED CHILD I HAD EVER MET!” It shouldn’t have but it stung. “We couldn’t handle you! I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you! Especially when you were a baby! You would just cry and cry and I almost just stopped taking care of you all together but I knew if you died your father and I would be in prison!” My chest heaved at her words. It hit me hard how little she truly cared. I walked over and snatched the papers as a coughing fit hit me. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll drop dead. It’s the least you deserve after all these years of torture and abuse.” She laughed loudly at my words. “I’ll be here good and long after you’re dead. If I’m lucky I’ll watch them lower your casket.” I stopped in my tracks at her words. “No, you won’t. Because now I have a happy life and I’m away from the misery you’ve inflicted on me!” I said as I turned away from her and headed for the door. “Oh by the way, I was at the doctors for a flu diagnosis. Hopefully one of your lungs will collapse and you’ll suffer on the floor.” Her face dropped. My mom rarely got sick but she’s in her sixties so she’s more susceptible. “You little bitch!” She rushed forward and raised her hand but my fingers wrapped around her wrist, effectively stopping her. My free hand came back before my own palm connected with her face and she stumbled back. 

My chest heaved as I looked at her down on the floor, holding her face as she breathed heavily. “It hurts doesn’t it?” I asked and she moved her hand, revealing a red mark. “All the times you and daddy hit me, it didn’t just hurt physically. I sat there and I wondered what I could’ve done to deserve it, what made you hate me. But now I know all I had to do was be born. Don’t worry, you’ll never see or hear from me again. You can start pretending I never existed.” With that I walked out the front door, slamming it on my way out. I got in the truck and immediately left. I picked up my medicine before going home. As soon as I was home I grabbed all my stuff and went inside. When I got the door closed and latched everything hit me at once. I leaned against the door as the sobs hit and sunk down till my knees were against my chest. I almost feel like it would be better if I did something to make them hate me, but simply my mere existence made my mother want to go as far as kill me. Having my mother confirm they never loved me hit hard and I feel like my heart is being split apart. Eventually I got up and took a shower, knowing it may make me feel a little better. Once I was out I dried off, took my medicine and crawled into the spare bed in the guest room. I wanted to do my best to keep Jake from getting sick and that meant sleeping in here for a while. My mind raced with all the thoughts and memories of my parents, how I never truly did anything, they just hated me. Tears ran down my face, soaking my neck and pillow as I cried myself to sleep. 

Fingers ran through my hair and roused me from my sleep. “Hey, darlin’. Why you in here?” Jake whispered, leaning down to kiss my temple. “I didn’t wanna get you sick.” I mumbled. “I appreciate that. What did the doctor say?” Everything came rushing back and tears came to my eyes. I sat straight up, keeping the covers against my chest as I looked away from him. “I-I do have the flu.” I said as I rubbed my eyes. He hummed and kissed my bare shoulder. “I’ll make some soup for dinner.” I shook my head. “You don’t have to. I’m not hungry.” He raised a brow at me. “Are you sure?” I nodded, giving him a small smile. “I’m sure.” He sighed and kissed my head again. “Okay, you’ll holler if you need me right?” I nodded as I laid back down and he stood. “I love you, Jake.” I whispered as he walked towards the door. “I love you too, Katie.” He closed the door behind him and my tears came back. I leaned over to my purse in the chair next to the bed and pulled out my diagnosis papers. I read over them the words depression, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, and autism glared at me from the white paper. If Jake saw this would he change his mind? Would he no longer love me? The thought terrified me. I couldn’t lose him. He’s a big part of me figuring out who I am without my parents, I’m not sure I could turn around and figure out who I am without him. “I won’t tell him. He can’t know.” I said as I stuffed the papers back in my purse, laying down again. “I can’t tell him. “ I muttered, fingers gripping my pillow tightly. 

Two days later I still felt like shit and I haven’t eaten. “Katie darlin’, you have to eat. You’re starving yourself right now.” Jake muttered as he came into the guest room. “Jake, I’m just not hungry.” I was sitting up in bed doing some school work and this was the third time today he’s asked me to eat. I’ve been drinking a bunch of water but I had no appetite. “You’re not going to get any better just sitting there and not eating. You’re only gonna get weaker and it’ll take you longer to get over this.” I huffed, closing my eyes. “Jake. I am not hungry. Now please, stop pestering me about it.” I said. “Katie, you have to eat.” I slammed the lid of my laptop closed. “Jake! I am not hungry! Now for the love of God JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled and he stepped back in surprise. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Jake, I'm sorry. I just don’t feel good and I just want to be left alone.” I set my laptop on the table and laid back down, my back to him and the door. He sighed before leaving and closing the door and more tears streamed down my face. Another day passed by, it was almost time for Jake to come home from work and I was in the kitchen finally trying to make myself something to eat. 

I had decided to just do some noodles with a little chicken and tomato sauce. The chicken was already cooked so I just tossed it into the pan with the sauce. I leaned against the counter reading as I waited and when the timer went off for the noodles I heard the front door open. I grabbed the pot and walked it to the sink to drain them but as I went to tilt it I lost my grip and the pot went into the floor spilling noodles and boiling water everywhere. “Katie?” Jake sounded concerned and came into the kitchen. I just stared at my food on the ground and everything within me broke. “Dammit!” I screamed, grabbing the pot and slamming it down onto the counter. “I can’t even just make fucking pasta!” I felt like all of my emotions were just gonna explode out of me. “What dumbass can’t make pasta?!” My hands went into my hair as tears burst from my eyes. I felt like I was having a complete breakdown. “Katie, darlin’. Your feet!” My feet had been covered in boiling water but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to care. Jake rushed over, lifting me till I was sat on the counter. “Oh, Katie, your feet.” They were an ugly shade of red and I could feel them throbbing. Jake cut the sink on and turned me till he could stick my feet under the cool water. “Stay there while I clean this up.” I just stared at my feet in the sink. Jake cleaned up my mess and took my chicken off the stove before turning to me. He cut the water off and grabbed a paper towel to dry my feet. “I’m sorry.” 

He looked at me with raised brows. “Why are you sorry?” He asked as I started to cry. “You just got home and I made a mess and I just let you clean it up. I should’ve stopped you and done it myself. God I’m such an awful person! I can’t even cook for myself without making a huge ass mess and I’ve been so mean to you when all you’ve tried to do is help me and-” I was startled when his large hands gently grabbed my face. “Hey, hey. Where is all this coming from?” He asked as he stared into my eyes and I started sobbing. I was sobbing hard and he just pulled me into him and held me. I clutched to him like a child as my tears soaked his clothes. His hand rubbed my back and he whispered soothing words to me as he held me. “I’m sorry!” I cried into his shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He held me for a few more minutes until I calmed down and I sat up and looked him in the eyes. “I went and saw my mother a few days ago.” His eyes widened and his face turned red. “Katie, why would you do that?” He didn’t sound mad, but he looked it. “I-I had to confront her. I couldn’t go the rest of my life without talking to her.” I spit out, hoping to ease his anger but I realized I had brought up a whole other situation with it. “Confront her about what?” He asked, confusion all over his face. I bit my lip, not knowing how to tell him. “Katie, what is going on? Is this part of why you’ve been acting weird the last few days?” He asked as his hands slid from my face to my neck. 

I slid off the counter and walked away, up to my room and he followed close behind. “Katie.” He asked as he stopped in the doorway. I had the paper in my hands and I stared at it. “When I went to the doctor I discovered a few things about myself. Things my parents never told me. N-no matter how you feel about this I’ll respect it. If you want to break up we can, if you want me to leave I will-” “Darlin’.” He walked over and grabbed my hand, pulling me to sit on the bed next to him. “You need to talk to me, Katie.” I sighed, holding the paper out to him. I buried my face in my hands as he read it. I’m not sure how long we sat in silence for but when I sat up his arms were hanging down between his legs as he stared straight ahead. “Jake?” I asked. “I can’t believe this.” He muttered, looking down at the paper again. “Jake, I’m sorry-” “You’re sorry?!” He jumped up and I got scared, he stood over me and I could swear smoke was coming out of his ears. “How can you be sorry when you have nothing to be sorry for?!” He asked and I was confused. “Your parents, the two people who were supposed to love you and take care of you kept something this big from you? Your entire life?” He asked, staring at the paper again. “Yeah.” I muttered, looking down at my hands, not wanting to meet his gaze but I yelped when I was grabbed and he pulled me into him. He squeezed me and I stood still for a second before hugging him back. 

“Katie, I swear to you, your parents will never be able to hurt you again.” I pulled away, meeting his gaze. “Yo-you don’t think I’m weird or want to break up?” I asked and he set the papers down before pulling me into him again, one arm around my waist, the other cradling my face. “Katie, I fell in love with you. Everything about you. Every little quirk in your personality, all of it. Katie, all of this is what makes you you and I fell in love with every bit of it. Now there’s just a name for all of it.” Tears soaked my cheeks as I bit my lip. “I love you, too.” I said before squeezing him to me. He held me as I cried, rubbing my back. “Is this what you confronted your mom about?” I nodded, wiping my eyes. “I was so angry when I found out I barged my way into her house and yelled at her.” He cracked a small smile. “And I hit her.” I confessed and his face fell. “I’m going to assume she hit you first?” I tilted my head side to side. “She attempted but I stopped her and then hit her.” My face burned with a blush. “Well it was self defense.” I hummed as my eyes locked on the door behind him. “I asked her if it hurt. I hope it did. I want them both to hurt like I have my entire life.” Jake’s face fell and he tilted my chin so I was looking at him. “They’ll get what they deserve Katie, but it’s also not good to wish harm on people.” I knew he was right, it would only tank my mental health. “You’re right.” I muttered and he held the back of my neck, pulling me towards him till his lips pressed against my forehead. “Why don’t you go put some burn cream on your feet, crawl in bed with some socks, and I’ll make your food and bring it to you.” I shook my head. “My feet don’t hurt, and I can make my food. You just got home from work-” He stopped me, shaking his head. “I just got home from work and I want to make you food. You’re exhausted from being sick and constantly thinking about what’s on these papers.” He said as he shook said papers. “I want you to relax and finally get some rest.” I sighed, giving in. “Okay.” I said and he smiled. “And you need to go get in our bed, I haven’t been sleeping right with you in here.” I pursed my lips. “Jake, I’m still sick.” I said and he shrugged. “If I haven’t gotten it yet, I won’t now.” I sighed again and nodded. “Okay. Where’s the burn cream?” I asked and he grinned. “Under the cabinet, in the first aid kit.” I nodded, trudging out. 

I did as he asked and put the cream on my feet and slid some fuzzy socks over them  before crawling in bed. I curled up facing Jake’s side, his smell wafting into my nose and I quickly drifted off. “Darlin’.” I immediately woke up, looking up at him as he held a tray. “Sorry, it was so easy to fall asleep.” I said as I sat up. He set the tray next to me and chuckled. “You’re exhausted. I reheated some of that tomato soup you had in the freezer, and made you a grilled cheese.” He said before kissing my temple. “Mm, thank you.” I muttered. I set the tray in my lap as he stood from kneeling on his side of the bed. “I’ll be back, gonna get you something to drink.” I just hummed as I started eating. It was good and I could already tell I was starting to feel better. After a minute Jake came back in with ginger ale and a second tray. “Here.” He sat the drink on my tray and sat next to me before kicking off his shoes. I watched as he wandered around the room, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and kicking off his jeans and longhorn shirt before slipping the sweatpatns on and crawling in bed with me. “Thank you for this, Jake.” I said as I leaned back against the pillows. “You’re welcome, darlin’.” He grabbed my hand, kissing it gently before letting go and grabbing the remote. “Okay, let’s see what movie we can find.” 

The following week I was much better and went back to school although I was shaking on Tuesday for clinicals. “Hey, glad to see your feeling better.” I was startled by Crystal’s voice as I walked into the break room. “Oh, yeah. The flu really kicked my butt.” I pulled out the breakfast sanwich Jake made for me before he went to work and sat across from her. “Last time I had it I didn’t think I was gonna make it out alive.” She said and chuckled. “Thankfully mine wasn’t that bad.” I told her. “Well let me know when you’re done and we can get started.” I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Get started?” She nodded. “Yeah, you’re with me. I was the only one who didn’t get one of you so you’re with me.” She smiled at me and I felt so relieved. “Oh, thank god. I was scared I was going to be paired up with someone mean.” I laughed. I had heard from Starla that the nurse she was paired up with was awful towards her and she left here crying on the second day of clinicals. Crystal chuckled and shook her head. “No, just me. Meet me out at the nurse’s station once your done.” I nodded and continued eating. Soon others filed in including Annie. “I’m so glad you’re back. Brooke and I are studying at her apartment tonight, we wnated to know if you wanted to join?” I nodded. “Let me see how I feel after today and I’ll let you know before we leave.” She gave me a thumbs up before walking out. 

Once I was done I cleaned up and walked out towards the nurse’s station. Most of the rooms were dark and empty as I walked by and rounded the corner to see Crystal in front of a computer. “Okay, have a seat.” She said as she rolled a chair over. “Kim is going to review all of our patients with us.” I nodded and sat down with my notepad and pen. Once we got everything I blinked rapidly. “You okay?” Kim asked and I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a lot to take in and I already feel like I’ve missed so much.” Kim and Crystal both nodded. “Well better get used to it sweetheart. It’s all fast paced around here.” I nodded and she smiled before standing. “I’m getting out of here. I have the next three days off and I’m only going to use them to sleep.” Crystal and I both said our goodbye’s before she stood. “So, you wanna go check some vitals with me?” I nodded rapidly, excited to get started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @graceandpursuit @cherrycola27 @daisydaisygoose @rosiahills22 @deanoheartspie @cornishkat @high-speed-r @fogle97 @mygyn @ohgodnotagainn @emma8895eb @senjoritanana @kmc1989 @sandaltoesocks @dempy @itsdesiree86 @sunderland-6 @jstarr86 @brooke-stinson @rachkon @topguncultleader @bethbunnyy @topgun-imagines @clancycucumber230 @seitmai @kkrenae @djs8891 @shanimallina87 @wildxwidow @eugene-emt-roe @hisredheadedgoddess28 @littlewhiterose @formulapierre @wade-wilsons-chew-toy @bethabear @halstead-severide-fan @gg-trini @memeorydotcom @schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker @inthestars-underthesun @praline357 @fanboyluvr @greaser9902 @felinegrate @lemmons1998 @thegoddessc @lynnevanss @daddyslittlevillain

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to hang out with my boyfriend’s best friend?

My [33F] boyfriend’s [30M] (we’ll call him R) best friend (30s M) (call him D) is chronically late but also never communicates anything. I have ADHD and like I get it. I have all the patience in the world for people who are late if they communicate they will be late. But D will never communicate anything, ever.

R and D have a standing game night on Fridays where they go for dinner and play board games. D “normally” comes between 4-5pm. He picks up his kids from school at 3:30, drops them home with his partner and then drives over. It is a 30 minute drive. But in the past, both on regular Friday meetings, and for other meetups, he has been significantly late (3 hours, once!) without saying a word all day.

R wants me to join them on Friday evenings. I don’t have a traditional ‘job’ but I am a crafter with many things to do and also, as mentioned, I have ADHD. Part of that means I really need a specific time to go and do something otherwise I will just be stuck in like “wait mode” all day unable to do anything because I don’t know when I need to stop doing it. The first time I went out with R & D I did lose the whole day (no work done) because we could get no actual information from D on when he was coming, and he ended up not arriving until after 5pm.

I told D I didn’t appreciate not being able to properly plan my day, and that providing a heads up about these things is generally considered polite. I also made it clear afterwards to R that if D continued to not communicate anything and just “turn up whenever, at some point after 4, maybe” then I would not be joining them on board game nights. 

Today I once again only had “4-5ish, I guess” but by 4:30 not only was D not here but R had heard nothing from him, and suspected he had not even left. I told R I was not coming, I had already mostly lost the day - having stopped work several hours before - but I would at least be reclaiming the evening.

At 5:15 R called me to say that D had been arranging to have his partner come, and had been sorting out childcare (in the form of D’s mum). He at no point earlier in the day had said anything about this to R. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. D then told R they would be leaving at around 5:45, so wouldn’t be here until at least 6:15.

I reiterated that I would not be coming. It was a boundary I set before and was very clear about, and was now enforcing it. D could have said much earlier that he was planning on inviting his partner, would have to arrange childcare, and would likely be later than usual. He chose not to do that, so I am choosing to not go.

R then got upset with me and said he would not be coming over to spend the night at my place the following evening (we have a normal routine on who stays where which days, and he knows unexpectedly changing that without any discussion at all will also mess with my ability to do things. The routine is important to me) because I was being unfair. 

I told him, again, it’s a firm boundary for me. People who won’t communicate anything at all when you have plans (even loose ones) aren’t respecting other people’s time. Even if that’s not the intention it’s still just… rude to the other person. Other people still have lives when you’re not there, and expecting everyone else to just be ready for “whenever” you feel like showing up without a word is not ok. Again, if it happens only once in a while because Shit Happens that’s different. But if it’s every time, with everyone, forever, then really you’re just a bit inconsiderate.

R says he doesn’t feel that way because he doesn’t have anything going on so it doesn’t bother him, so he isn’t upset with D (even though I have things on, so it does impact and bother me, his partner) but he is upset with me because I am “making him feel bad”. D’s complete lack of communication and lateness is not the problem, the fact I am annoyed about it and choosing to stay home is the problem. I said it is not fair to blame me for this turn of events when (unlike D) I was VERY clear beforehand that I wouldn’t be going if this happened, and that if nothing else he should still be at least a little annoyed with D for not respecting my time after I’d already spoken to him about it.

Instead of actually sitting D down and properly telling him “look I don’t have things to do but L does and it does bother her when you don’t communicate anything so it is messing with her work when you do this and that is not ok”, R then said he just won’t invite me to anything ever again. So I can’t be upset if he’s late.

AITA for refusing to go to board game night?

What are these acronyms?

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Hey! I've read some of your works and I gotta say I love your writing! I was wondering if you still write for Mafia?? I'd love some headcannons with Vito, Joe, Tommy, Sam and Paulie with a S/O who has ADHD? Or a sort of Hyperactivity? Thank you sm!!

A/N: Aww thank you so much! Of course I don’t minddddd but I don’t have much to write about Joe at the moment.

Warnings: I do not have ADHD so please note that my knowledge comes from the internet. If anything is a bit off, please respectfully let me know and I will have no problem altering something for you. :) I don’t mind writing these things as long as this can be an understanding environment.

Requests: always open

Masterlist

Tommy

He doesn’t really mind it much at all. Tommy puts up with Paulie all day, you’re a piece of cake in comparison.

He’s a more mellow and mature guy, he’s probably not going to be able to keep up with you as much but he loves you.

Tommy is great at redirecting you when you’re struggling to complete tasks or just forgetting about things.

He’d definitely leave behind small notes and reminders of things, and I can see him making time out of his day to check on you.

Actually just in general he’s great at helping you become more organized and productive throughout your day

Please—if you are a risk taker…stop😩 jk jk

But like this man is stressed out when you do dangerous things without any regard for your personal safety

Your excitedness is rather adorable to him, I can only see him becoming a bit frustrated if he is overwhelmed with things in his life. But he’s never viscous and will politely suggest you sit down with him.

Any hyperfixations you may have and want to rave about, go ahead. Actually he will sometimes surprise you with more of that item(s) when he comes home.I Imagine him sitting on the couch with a cigarette, watching you open up the gift from him. He’s so proud

Sometimes feels a bit bad when you’re super bored of everything. He doesn’t always have the energy or knowledge to keep you entertained and engaged.

If he finds you becoming increasingly more anxious or fidgety about things, he will try his best to comfort you.

“Look what I got you on my way home. You said that you love these things, right?”

Sam

AD-who? He doesn’t really understand it but he still loves you.

Doesn’t mind your hyperactiveness *that* much because he’s used to the younger guys on the job…but he has a bit less patience than Tommy.

Definitely a little more blunt when he’s getting a little annoyed with your behaviors but it’s not meant to shame you. It’s just Sam.

*panicks in public because he lost you in the busy city of Chicago*

If you take medication i can imagine him reminding you of it. If you dislike taking meds, he’ll try to make it bearable for you. Crushing up the pills for you and offering you a sweet kiss in exchange for your compliance.

He knows how much it sucks. Sam would gift you a very beautiful pill case so maybe you’ll be a bit more excited about the whole process.

Sam pretends he hates how much you talk about your hyperfixations but then turns around and tells the guys all about it.

Financial impulsiveness doesn’t bother him too much if it’s on some nack that’ll make you happy for a little while. But you should be mindful of making huge purchases and decisions without his guidance

If your AD-HD causes you to struggle with reading comprehension, complex subjects and other things, he’ll never belittle you. He might poke a little bit but ultimately, it’s sweet how vulnerable you are with him and how you go to him with help.

I don’t think he’s the best at handling mood swings or anxiety attacks but he will always offer his presence when available. He’s learned how to better engage in aggressive episodes and to try his best to de-escalate.

He usually will tell you stories about his funny adventures or just simply hold your hand while you’re anxious.

“Don’t worry about it, Doll. You can hold onto me if you need.”

Paulie

Best boi ™️

In all seriousness I think he’s pretty great at handling things with you. He’s not judgmental of your behaviors in the slightest.

He lives to hear all about your interests and rants, it makes him so happy to see you this excited about something. He’s the most engaging with it too.

Even though he’s older, he likes to move around and is very young at heart. So if you struggle with sitting still, it’s okay so does he. Whatever you want to do, he’s down for.

Maybe not the best at handling the more productive things like time management but

Your impulsive behaviors aren’t too bad. it’s okay he makes plenty of these mistakes.. he’ll try his best to fix them with you. If you struggle with speaking over him/cutting him off a lot, he’ll probably let you know and remind you that he likes to finish his thoughts first.

If you have no sense of danger this man is keeping a close eye on you. why are you walking in the middle of the busy street like that and then saying it’s fine because you’ve never been hit before. Please—😭😭SAVE THIS POOR MAN

Depression and mood swings are all too familiar with him. While he completely understands, it does make him sad to hear that his baby is going through the same thing as him. He might worry that it’s because you’re not happy with him, but after explaining he will understand it better.

He’ll try his absolute best to cheer you up! He’s not above making a complete full out of himself to just make you smile.

He hates making you take medication so he’s so lax about it but if he sees a decline in your overall health, he’ll enforce it better.

“I know, it really sucks baby. But you have to take it, it’ll help with things a little bit. I promise you, I’ll make it up to you.”

Vito

You being hyperactive isn’t usually too bad but he might be a peeved at times. He isn’t very energetic despite his young age, he’s a tired guy. So he’s not always able to keep up with you

Vito likes to set aside specific times for your rants/raves. He prefers it if you don’t immediately bombard him with everything as soon as he walks through the door but after dinner he’ll sit down to listen or play with you. On weekends he’ll take scrolls with you or go out to fun places so you can get some of that energy out.

I like to think he carries around little trinkets in his pockets and pulls them out to give you something to fidget with if you’re becoming overwhelmed.

Vito is great at offering you a routine and structure throughout your daily life. One of the perks of being ex-military.

He’s also fairly good at talking you out of impulsive behaviors and dealing with any agitated feelings.

Very stern about you putting yourself in danger and is constantly reminding you to take care of yourself while he’s gone.

He takes care of financial matters and planning for you. He understands that you struggle with these things so he takes the reins.

I headcanon that Vito takes medication for his medical issues caused by his time serving. It’s something very private that he doesn’t discuss with anyone but when he sees you stressed over taking them, he now will take his medication with you. Just to make you feel better and it’s now become an intimate experience.

He also keeps you out of triggering environments and situations, he won’t take you to any events where you’ll have trouble sitting for long periods of time. Vito is never embarrassed by you so don’t worry about that, he just wants to prioritize your needs first. If anyone does say anything disparaging about your behaviors and excessive talking, they’ve made a date with death. He’s very protective over you.

“Don’t ever speak about her like that ever again. She can talk about whatever the hell she wants for however long that she wants. —and if you still got a problem about it, you’ll take it up with me outside.”

[lunaroserites]

Art and Ice - Ground Rules

Pairing: Eventual Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Characters: Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, Loki, Bucky, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, a lot of the avengers cast is mentioned.

Summery: Bucky and Doodle spend some quality time together.

This might a 2 or 3 parter (it's gonna be more because cannot help myself). College AU, our boy Bucky is on the hockey team, and reader is an art major (because I love that trope and couldn't help myself)

Warnings: Not beta'd! All mistakes are my own. Friends fluff, swearing, mentions of college students being college students. Bit of friendly harmless flirting between friends. Bucky is a playboy. Flirting. Mentions of not eating or drinking for a hours (ADHD Brain)

Word Court: 2859

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️

Please do not repost, translate or otherwise copy my work elsewhere, without my express permission, thank you! Lunaroserites on tumblr and ao3

Catch up here: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 ❤️

You didn’t see Barnes the next day, which wasn’t surprising, it was Friday night after a win so celebration extended into the start of the weekend. Saturday was much the same, you toiled away in the art room in front of a large sketch pad trying to get something together while your canvas dried. 

You also had a small piece you were working on for a gallery wall you were doing for a local gallery that was happening once the semester ended. So your plate was full and adding the insistent nagging from your brain to find Barnes, your patience was wearing thin. 

You threw the paint brush at the sink, it sailed in a smooth arche before clattering in the paint covered sink. You ran your hands over your face and groaned as you leaned forward, elbows planted in the table. Your mind is running amuck and making you lose patience. 

“Doodle,” the new brush you were holding snapped in your tense grip as you looked up, startled. Barnes was standing at the door holding a bag that smelled delicious and your stomach growled. You may have forgotten to take a break and eat. 

“Barnes,” you said, your tone tense. His eyebrow quirked up as he walked in and placed the bag down a few feet away. 

“Are you okay,” your hand kinda hurt from snapping the brush a moment ago, and your head was killing you with a raging headache. Which might be because you haven’t eaten in a while or because you were thirsty. You took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Yeah, just a little stressed,” you answered. The smell of the food in the bag makes your mouth water and your stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. “What can I do for you?” 

“You weren’t at practice all weekend. Nat said you were hauled up in the art room,” he said nonchalantly, you just stared at him. “And I figured I would stop by and check on my favourite girl,” he said confidently, and you rolled your eyes in response. Your stomach decided that moment was the best time to make its presence known and grumbled loudly. Your cheeks immediately darkened in embarrassment. 

“And she said you most likely didn’t eat,” the look on his face caught you off guard, he had a look of genuine concern etched on his features. “She knows you well,” he mused, his tongue poked between his teeth as he winked at you. You leaned back against your chair and extended your hand and gestured to the chair across from you, prompting him to sit. He took a seat across from you and smiled. “I hope you like burgers,” he said as he pulled the bag over. 

“I don’t mind them, are they from Gus’s?” You asked, he nodded. 

“I wasn’t sure what you drank so I got water,” he added, pulling a couple water bottles out of his gym bag. You smiled and chuckled a little at how thoughtful he was being. 

“Waters fine,” you accepted the bottle and cracked it open and drank half it one go. He eyed you suspiciously and you gulped down hard. “I get lost in what I’m doing and sometimes forget to eat or drink,” you mumbled under his intense gaze. 

“That’s not healthy,” he muttered, pulling out a burger and handing it to you. You accepted and opened it up, taking a bite and biting back the moan you almost let out. 

“I know, but when I’m in the zone. I just don’t realise how much time passes,” you said softly, he nodded and you two ate the food in a comfortable silence. 

“Thank you,” you said as you threw out the garbage and sat back down. 

“No problem, can’t let ya starve,” he chuckled and rubbed his chin in his hand. “What’s ya working on?” He asked and looked at the few pieces shattered behind you and a shadow box a few feet away from you. 

“Uh, a project for an art exhibit once schools out,” you answered. 

“Mind if I work on some homework? It’s quieter here than my house,” you raised an eyebrow at him, that was unexpected. “What?” he asked. 

“Nothing, don’t mind me,” you said as you looked down to work on the piece for the shadow box. Your eyes drifted up every now and then as you observed him working on what looked to be some kind of science homework. 

His eyes wandered over your frame every now and then as he took in your look of complete concentration as you worked with a small piece of clay. He couldn’t help but appreciate the dedication you had toward your craft. 

“What are you working on?” You asked after some time. 

“Science homework,” he gave you a cheeky smile. You gave him a deadpan expression. “It’s space stuff,” he answered. 

“What about space stuff?” You asked, genuine curiosity laced your tone. 

“I’m learning about stars,” he tilted the book he was reading, it was open to a diagram of a star. 

“Oh neat!” You took a closer look at the diagrams and then looked back at him. He was rubbing his neck with a sheepish look on his face. “I did a project a couple years ago on Saturn,” you pulled your phone out and showed him a picture. 

“Wow, you did a fantastic job,” he took your phone for a moment to get a closer look at it. “Wait, that looks familiar,” he looked up at you again. “That looks like the one in the observatory.”

“That’s because it is,” you chuckled. His eyes widened a little and his smile broadened. 

“I made out with a girl right next to it,” he chuckled and your smile dropped and you busied yourself with another piece of clay. 

“That’s great,” you forced out through the firm line your mouth was now set in. 

“Why do you do that?” He asked suddenly, noticing your immediate change in demeanour. You looked up and your eyes narrowed at him. 

“Do what?” 

“That? Get all closed off when I say something you don’t like,” he asked. 

“Because I really didn’t need to know you made out with a girl next to my art piece,” you stated. “I was told if I have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

“I’m not a child, I can handle criticism,” he defended. 

“That’s not the point. Have you ever once sat down and just chatted with a girl without the expectation of sex afterwards?” You asked, your tone very genuine. He sat back in his chair and looked anywhere but your face. 

“No. Not in a long time,” his answer caught you guard. You were expecting some snide comment or a lie. When you looked at his face, he looked completely sincere. You took a deep breath knowing the answer to the question you were about to ask. 

“Is that why you’re here now?” You didn’t recognize the voice that asked the question. It was soft and meek, nothing like your usual cadence. He didn’t answer right away, and based on the look on his face he didn’t really know what to say or how to answer. 

“Honestly,” he took a deep breath and looked at his hands. “Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. At first definitely. The first time I spoke to you it was. But I don’t know,” his rambling gave away how honest he was being. “I still want to,” he paused, “to still sleep with you. I also want to hang out with you. And get to know you.” 

You couldn’t help the slight upturn of your lip as you released a long inhale, “thank you for being honest.” 

“I might be a prick. But at least I’m an honest one,” he tried to joke. His smile dropped when you didn’t laugh. “So where does that leave us now?” 

“I don’t know Barnes. I don’t want to sleep with you. But I don’t want you to take that as a challenge to get me to sleep with you. If you truly want to be friends, and we get to know one another with no ulterior motives, then we can do that,” you didn’t want to sugar coat it. You also didn’t have the balls to admit you had a tiny crush on him because that would go straight to his dick and this conversation would be pointless. 

“Well to start you could start calling me Bucky, Barnes is so detached,” he gave you a small smile. 

“Well that was the point,” you chuckled. “But okay, Bucky.” His smile grew larger and he pumped his fist in the air. 

“I’m still calling you Doodle though,” he said, his tone serious as he stared at you. 

“That’s fine, I guess,” you chuckled while rolling your eyes at him. 

“So how much of my piece is finished?” He asked, you couldn’t help but laugh and pointed over your shoulder to the large canvas behind you. “That’s empty.” 

“I know. I have to get some practice sketches  done first before I paint on the big canvas,” you decided to not mention the two you ruined.

“Can I see the practice sketches?” He asked hopefully. 

“Sure,” you relented and passed the sketch pad over and watched him look at it. 

“How do you do that?” He asked, passing it back a moment later. 

“Draw?” You raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded. “I just do, it takes a lot of practice and effort. I could ask the same of you, how do you skate so effortlessly?” 

He smiled for a moment before answering, “I guess it’s the same. I just get on the ice and go. The moment I lace my skates up and I hit the ice everything else just fades away, it’s just me, my stick and the puck.” 

“For me, I pick up the pen, or brush and just start somewhere and get lost in it. It’s me, the brush and the canvas,” you finished. 

“Hey,” he was serious now, that caught your attention fully as you looked at him, “I wanted to apologise for what I said the other day…”

“Bucky,” you reached out and placed your smaller hand on his gently as you cut him off, “stop, it’s okay. We both said things that weren’t very nice. For what it’s worth.” You looked into his eyes sincerely, “I’m sorry too. It’s behind us now.” 

He smiled and nodded, “okay Doodle.” 

That conversation was the catalyst to your developing and lively friendship with Bucky, when the team wasn’t travelling for the away games over the next week he would sit in the art room and do his homework while you worked on the art projects you had due. 

It was Thursday night, Bucky was just getting to the art studio after practice when he saw you hunched over your sketch pad, your hands in your hair and you were sniffling. He entered and quickly threw his gym bag down and came around the table and crouched down next to you. He placed his hand on your forearm, trying not to startle you too much. You jumped anyway since you didn’t hear him come in, you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts to notice anything else.

“Doodle,” he said softly. “Everything okay?” You shook your head and slumped into his chest, that caught him off guard, he quickly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you back as you cried into his chest. As quickly as you collapsed into him you pulled back and shook your head. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out and placed your head in your hands. Bucky was a little stunned at how quickly your demeanour changed. 

“It's okay,” he stood and took his usual seat across from you. “Wanna talk about it?” You let out an exaggerated sigh and sniffled loudly. 

“My art professor is a bitch,” you groaned. “And I have a bunch more projects due and she’s just awful. If I didn’t need this course to graduate I would have dropped it.” You pressed your cheek against the table and closed your eyes. 

“What did she do?” Bucky asked.

“After class she decided to tell me she doesn’t know why I bother trying, and that the school was foolish to offer, a no talent, wannabe one of the only full ride scholarships offered for the arts,” you were crying again. You had spent years honing your craft, and fought tooth and nail for the scholarship that allowed you to attend school here. 

“She’s probably just jealous,” you laughed at that, Nat had said the same thing when you texted her earlier about what happened. 

“I have an appointment with the head of the department tomorrow afternoon. This isn’t the first time she’s been awful to me,” you didn’t see his fist clench and the momentary anger flash across his face as you said that. 

“I wouldn’t listen to her Doodle,” Bucky reached across the table and patted your arm gently. “Your art is awesome, and you’re incredibly talented,” he finished. You smiled against the table and lifted your head up to send him a thankful look.

“Thanks Bucky, that means a lot,” you sighed and whipped your eyes with the back of your hand and rolled your shoulders. “I got some stuff done on your portrait,” you said, your voice still a little coarse, but you felt a lot better. His face lit and his full attention was on the covered canvas behind you. You stood and pulled the cover off and showed him, you had some of the out lining done, the positioning and scale perfect. You felt very proud of it so far. 

“Holy shit Doodle,” Bucky stood and got closer to admire the outlining. “You know, once this is done, you should get them to let you display it in the sports annex,” he had a smug tone as he said this. You chuckled and rolled your eyes. 

“Maybe if you bat your eyelashes at the department head, and ask him really nicely, he’ll let me,” you bumped your hip into his and smirked up at him. He smiled down at you and the softness in his eye made your heart skip a beat, you quickly cleared your throat and moved from him to grab a pencil. 

“I’m going to work my homework, and stay out of your way,” Bucky said softly as he moved from your side to sit down again. You smiled looking down at your feet before you started to do some more outlining. 

His eyes would shift from his homework every so often and they would rove over your body. He knew he didn’t have a shot in hell at getting you to agree to sleeping with him, you made that clear and he was really trying to make sure he kept that at the forefront of his mind when he was around you because he really did want to be friends with you.

But those leggings you wore hugged the curve of your ass so perfectly it was making it difficult. He felt his mouth dry out a little as he watched you rock from side to side as you drew on the canvas, and he involuntarily let a low whistle when you stretched up and exposed some of the soft skin of your back. 

You immediately turned and looked at him with a raised brow and squinted at him, full judgement. “Barnes,” you were warning him, he raised his hands up in surrender. 

“Not my fault you look amazing, it's a crime,” he defended himself with a cocky tone. You couldn’t stop the blush that crawled up your neck and on to your cheeks. 

“You’re insufferable,” you groaned, turning your back to him again, the blush still strong on your cheeks. He laughed loudly, before going back to his homework. You couldn’t keep the little smile off your face, you knew he used that line on countless girls, and it was probably a line he used often to get in their pants, but damn he was such a smooth talker, and he said all the right things in the right tones. You hated that you longed for his compliments. 

It was quiet for a while longer, just the sounds of pencils on paper and canvas filling the air.   

“Hey Doodle,” you hummed in response, not wanting to look away. “There is a final game just before playoffs, it's here, do you think you’ll come?” 

“I thought Nat said you guys were done with the home games now,” you still didn’t look at him, trying to make sure your scale was correct. 

“This one isn’t a regular season game, but I think you’ll really enjoy it,” he was being incredibly cryptic about whatever it is. You turned now, and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Then what is it?” You asked as you eyed him. 

“Surprise, but I promise you’ll love it,” he sounded so earnest that you couldn’t help but believe him. 

“Okay,” I chuckled. “I’ll go,” you relented, trying to hide your genuine excitement. 

Taglist: @vicmc624, @calwitch, @learisa, @aaqua-tofana

Feel free to send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list ❤️

[theobsidianempress]

Being Neurodivergent in JJK

 OK let me explain a few things first I have ADHD officially diagnosed back in October. I have always wondered how my favorite characters would react to neurodivergent people in terms of like dating them.

Like in JJK I have three that I feel with probably do pretty well with the neurodivergent partner.

First on the list is Nanami Kento-

I feel like Nanami would probably deal with a neurodivergent partner with grace and patience, and actually become a safe space for you to unmask and be who you genuinely are. He would probably very likely be confused and concerned at some point in the process but then just learn that’s your neurodivergence and that’s just who they are.

Imagine this right-

You’re home alone, right? You’re bored and you have to read a book but you don’t want to read a book in silence and you don’t feel like going to find your headphones to listen to an audiobook. You decide to narrate a book to yourself. You decide to go way back to when you were a kid when your mom would read to you and she would do the voices and funny actions. Honestly, you don’t even realize you’re doing funny actions you’re just reading a book. you are so into this book you don’t hear Kento home.

He stands there by the front door. He’s hung up his jacket, taking off his shoes and he slowly walking towards you. Again- You are so into this book and this narration you got going on you don’t notice a fucking thing. So, finally you finish the chapter. You decide, “I’m done reading for the day.” You close the book put it down on the coffee table. Turn your head and you see him standing there with an amused smile on his face. You are also terrified. This man just saw you reading a book to yourself as if you were a toddler. Doing voices actions the whole 9 yards.

You stare at him as if he caught you stealing. (I mean you did steal his heart but that’s neither here nor there)

“That was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” He finally says.

Some how that DID NOT quell your embarrassment. It just made it worse. You are redder than red and hide your face behind a sofa pillow.

“Don’t say that!” You practically squeal into the pillow.

He comes over and sits next to you gently taking the pillow away. Your embarrassment has now morphed into shame.

“Oh sweetie, wipe that look off your face. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” God he was so sweet to you.

“You just walked in on me reading to myself like a toddler. I mean I could see if I was babysitting a kid…” You turn your head further away.

Kento takes off his sunglasses and sets them on the coffee table next to your book.

“Sweetie, if reading like that makes it more fun for you - then do it.”

Your brows snapped together and you slowly raise your head to look at him. Not once has anyone told you that kind of behavior is okay. All of your exes called you ‘childish’, ‘weird’ and ‘fucking crazy’. They constantly made fun of you for reading aloud to the point you stopped. But this man… this man right here, sitting next to you just affirmed and validated you. Something no one has done until now.

You stared at him blinking back tears.

“If you want an audience, I’ll be your audience. You can read like that to me any day.” He picked up the book from the table, “Though I am going to need a recap.” He takes a large hand wipes away your budding tears.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You ask nuzzling his hand.

Second is Toji -

So Toji could go one of two ways - he’s either completely OK with it or he isn’t.

It’s like this right- you forget he’s home. He’s just hanging out in another room playing video games or something. So forgetting he’s home you just start being weird. Singing random songs reciting random movie quotes. Dancing as if you have no rhythm. Just whatever your little neurodivergent brain wants at the moment. And then you turn around to see him staring at you very fucking confused.

“What the fuck was that just now?” He says confused and slightly amused.

“When the fuck did you get here?” You ask just as confused and slightly terrified that you’ve scared him off.

“I haven’t left. I’ve been playing video games.” He replies.

Now this is where it can go one of two ways:

1) “I see…” you nod your head, “Well now I’m gonna have to kill you because I can’t have you telling people about what you just saw. You know too much.” You say this with a serious look.

Toji stands there for a split second then just laughs, “Yeah, okay. I’d love to see you try, doll.” He strides over and gives ya a lil kiss.

You make a happy squeak before going back to whatever it was that you were doing.

“Sides, I don’t go around tellin people my business anyway. So, your weirdo secret is safe with me.”

2) “Nope.” He puts his hands up like he’s being held up, “I learned my lesson on stickin’ my dick in crazy. Nope.”

And he nopes out of the relationship faster than he came into it.

Gotta save the strongest for last Gojo Satoru-

I don’t care what the fuck anyone tells me you cannot tell me he does not have some form of ADHD. I don’t care what you say. This relationship would be so chaotic and so funny. Because I feel like he would also quote random movies and TV shows and you just join in and then if and when Yuji is around, he would also do the same thing and vice versa.

Imagine this right-

Y’all are at home making dinner together for the kids. They’re watching a movie upstairs so they hear none of this start.

You’re chopping carrots and they remind you of little legs…

“Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me; I’m the gingerbread man!” You say mockingly as you continue to chop the carrots.

On cue, Satoru turns to you with dramatic flair, “You’re a monster!”

It just devolves from there. You two finally get to the part of the scene where Gingy goes, “Do you know the muffin man?”

“The muffin man!?” You ask dramatically.

But before Satoru can say the line the two of you hear from the hall way, “THE MUFFIN MAN!” In the shrillest voice.

It was Yuji who came down to see how dinner was going.

The three of you just stare at each other for a second before bursting out in laughter. It takes like a good three minutes to recover and get back to making dinner but god was that funny.

Honestly,I wasn’t really expecting this to be my first real post but I just found it really funny I mean feel free to comment, re-blog and add whatever. Or hey tell me that my head cannon is stupid and none of this would actually fucking happen. Either way I just thought this was funny and needed to put it somewhere.

Also, please note I am sleep deprived. I got zero sleep last night. It’s also that time of the month for me ladies so with all of that being said, thank you so much for reading this if you read it. if you didn’t - have a good day.

Remember- you are loved, worthy, and valid.

[animalsalvationassociation]

Has anything serious happened to Director Scratch? Like her getting kidnapped, hurt, falling ill, attempted life, etc.

(This is a back up one just incase my other one got deleted.... it tends to happen a lot.)

[ DO NOT REPOST, ALL ART & CONCEPTS WERE MADE BY ME ]

Illustration Time: 8hrs 49min

BEAVENS TO HETSY—YA’LL HOW THE FUDGE DO I HAVE A 100+ FOLLOWERS ALREADY????? I AM SO EMOTIONAL RN IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY. IMMA GO CRY NOW GEEZ!!! (Go check out the 100 Goal poll before it ends. I’ve decided to wait the 3-4 days that it has left on there before I make anything, just to make sure everyone got a chance vote)

Thank you for you patience @kuri-kushmi ! I know you were really excited for this one, I hope I did our lovely Peggy justice!

Notes:

Yo is that young Inkling???? Whaaaaa????

Had a mutual threatened me when I sent a pic of Peggy crying. They were about to throw down, but its okay Peggy has tissues now. Her trauma is forever healed because of good vibes . . . yep thats how that works :)

I also wanted to preface this just in case I had any other asks that may be similar. Just because it hasn’t happened before doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. The story has yet to be completely written so there is plenty of room for extra stuff to be added. I literally don’t even have a chapter written out . . . we’re working on it . . . maybe . . . I’m trying but my brain doesn’t want to brain! (stupid ADHD) I’ve been doing this for almost 12 years why can’t I writeeeeeee???

I should not have adult money . . . no I will not explain ur welcome

[ This is a Octonauts AU, in no way is this canon to the OG storyline. ]

[tryslora]

learning sentence level editing

It’s no secret that I hate editing.

I’ve told this story before: When I was in high school, I had an English teacher who told us on our first day of sophomore honors English that she would not give an A for a first draft. She had a rigorous outlining/drafting process that she was determined to teach us. Me, I had undiagnosed ADHD and was a dyed-in-the-wool pantser. So I resolved on that first day that by the end of my time with her, I would get an A on a first draft.

My final essay of junior year AP English (yes, same teacher two years in a row), I wrote about Victorian morals and literature. I read it aloud. I got an A. I only ever wrote one draft.

What that taught me was how to write very technically clean drafts, something that has stayed with me for almost four decades now. Which is great!

What it did not teach me was how to be patient enough to properly edit. And I have never really learned. In fact, that is one of my ADHD sticking points (yes, I know, that’s obvious from my reaction to her statement in the story above). I often feel that a large part of the reason I have never made it as a writer—have never broken into tradpub—is because I do not have the patience to not only write, but then create an outline from the draft, then rewrite, then do it all over again and fiddle with each sentence until it’s perfect.

I’m learning, but I’ll admit, I’m still not there, and I’m not sure I ever will be where novels are concerned. 

But right this moment, I’m feeling very accomplished and proud of myself. I had a short story that every time I worked on it, it grew. Every time I cut it, it felt like it lost its heart and like the taste of the words stopped feeling like mine. My voice disappeared.

I had finally worked out a version of it that was just under 7500 words long, and I thought it was decent. It got no traction, and I was frustrated. I put it up for critique on SFFOWW (a critique group site) while I was active there a year and a half ago. It was chosen for an Editor’s Choice review, and the first half of it got some great comments. Which I promptly had to ignore because I was dealing with other editing problems.

I returned to it recently, because I saw a call I wanted to send it to. The problem was, the call was for stories under 6k, and I wasn’t sure I could cut this story again and still retain its punch. But hey. The biggest feedback I got was about how I handled my descriptions and dialog, and the amount of repetition that slipped into my words. So I absorbed that, and I dug into the story, and I started ripping it apart.

I didn’t edit it, exactly, nor did I completely rewrite it. I printed it. I read it twice. Then I placed it on the desk and went a few paragraphs at a time and started with a blank file and filled it in. Some pieces went in verbatim. Most of it changed. Huge chunks disappeared, and a few new things appeared. Some of it got rearranged. The wordiness disappeared.

Here’s an example…

Before:

"You get one hour," Lana says softly. "One hour with him, and then you're leaving him behind. You're taking your fate and you're setting him free."

After:

"One hour," Lana says. "Then take your fate with you and set him free."

The new version of the story came in under 6k. I did it, and the best part is, I don’t hate it. In fact, this was sentence level revision of a style I had never done before. The closest I’ve come to it is editing flash fiction to be under very tiny wordcounts (or drabbles of exactly 100 words, which gods, those take me longer than writing a short fic!).

I’m not sure I could’ve done this without the editing I did for Into the Split over the last many months. I had to dig into that in ways I have never edited a novel before, and it prepared me to dig even more deeply into this short story.

I’m learning. I guess you can teach old dogs some new tricks.

[spacelazarwolf]

making a separate post but like. i don’t think some of y’all understand how genuinely traumatizing it is to have undiagnosed (or even diagnosed) adhd and go through school as the lazy stupid kid. i’ll tell you a little bit about what school looked like for me.

when i was in second grade, my teacher used to drag my desk up to the front of the class in the middle of lessons if i tapped my pencil or bounced my knee. she wouldn’t let me talk to any of my friends, and wouldn’t let me read my books when i was done with my assignments and was waiting for everyone else to finish. she would berate me in front of the whole class until i cried. her treatment of me got so bad my parents had to pull me out of school.

when i was in fifth grade, my teacher gave out “assignment alerts”, bright orange pieces of paper that indicated you’d forgotten to turn in an assignment. i was given dozens of these papers, and they started to build up, so it was harder to hide them. she would give these out in front of everyone in the middle of class, and she always made sure that when it came to me everyone knew i had the most. she would mock me in front of my classmates for my inability to keep up with homework and said that because my test scores were good it was because i was just lazy and didn’t care.

when i was in seventh grade, my teachers made me come up to the front of the class at the beginning and end of the period so they could inspect my assignment book and sign it, in view of the rest of my classmates, and announce whether or not i’d done my homework. when i inevitably forgot about assignments, they would berate me in front of the class.

when i was in high school, i wasn’t allowed to try to test into higher level classes because my teachers had decided that even though i did well on tests and papers, i wasn’t intelligent enough to take them because i couldn’t keep track of my assignments and deadlines. I was told over and over again that i was just lazy, and anytime i tried to explain what i later learned were symptoms of adhd i was berated and told i was making excuses.

when i was in college, i failed two classes my first year because i couldn’t keep up with the deadlines. the day before my second year, my best friend died, and i stopped going to classes. my teachers didn’t connect the dots because they assumed based on the previous year that i was just lazy and didn’t care about school. i failed several classes that year and never got the mental health assistance i needed, and my reputation at the school was pretty much shot. one teacher even went out of his way to try and fail me because he didn’t believe i deserved a degree. he tried to claim i’d plagiarized one of my papers to put a mark on my transcript. luckily he didn’t or i may have had to drop out. i had to do an extra year to make up for all the classes i’d failed, and barely graduated.

i did end up dropping out of my attempted masters degree (the only school that would take me with such a low gpa, and the only school that offered no scholarships or assistantships) because all of the teachers refused to give me any sort of accommodations, noting my bad grades from undergrad. i was given no patience or grace, my disability was not respected, and i had to drop out.

these experiences (which are just a handful of many) were so traumatic that they gave me diagnosed ptsd. i’m almost 30 and i’m still in therapy learning to cope with the horrifying levels of self hatred, anxiety, and dysfunction that my academic experiences gave me. i’m still learning how to even begin to function and take care of myself after i was told for so long by people who were supposed to help and support me that i didn’t deserve to succeed.

i fully understand how stressful it is to mask your neurodivergence in order to succeed, and how that can affect your mental health. i understand the high levels of anxiety and dysfunction in former gifted kids. i get that, and i respect it. but i’m honestly so tired of ppl trying to say there’s no difference in that experience vs. mine. that someone who had a 4.0 all through high school and college and got a good job is just as materially affected as someone who couldn’t just push through, who couldn’t make it through higher education, who couldn’t graduate high school, who can’t hold a job at all.

these experiences are all valid but they are DIFFERENT. and when the only people i ever hear about when talking about adhd are the former gifted kids, it makes me feel so incredibly alone. and maybe if there were a greater variety of voices and experiences that were showcased, people like me wouldn’t feel so isolated and self-critical. maybe we’d realize that we deserve grace and kindness too, even if we didn’t get to be the gifted kids.