#well known to everyone but me that I like science apparently oh my god what’s wrong with my brain !!!! anyways.

[milo-is-rambling]

Who was gonna tell me that reading is fun sometimes

[omegaobeyme]

I've been obsessed with Lady Gaga's, "Judas" Song...and it gave me an idea for a short Fic. A Devil's Angel Tags: PG13+, scene of violence/death, Angel/Human!MC, DiavoloxMc, Spoilers for lesson 16 Part 1/?

Diavolo was a glorified demon, rivaling strength to only 2 other realm leaders. Of course, if you asked any obedient servant of the throne, he was naturally the obvious winner. So what happens when you have all of the strength a being could dream of and more? You "make friends" apparently. There was no way this all-powerful man could be up to such a light-hearted task. Perhaps it was his butler, Barbatos, with such knowledge and time who guided Diavolo to urge such a conclusion. Had the green-haired demon known a war was to commence? Was Diavolo truly unfit to win such a battle, and therefore needed another way out? These questions filled your head as you stepped into your new dormitory. You were a human, just not too human entirely. Angels essence filled your being thanks to your ancestor, Lilith. You had even met Michael himself years back when her memories flooded yours as the angel essence was supposed to take you to heaven. Long story short, you were in a temporary coma after a car accident. Simeon shook you out of your head with a hand on your shoulder, "remember why you're here." He said, with the same smile he always gave. It was too suspicious for a soon-to-be demon lord to be asking for unity, and god wanted answers. This is where you came in: a seemingly innocent human whose in an extremely unique position to gain an advantage; and more importantly, knowledge. Solomon joined you for your first tea with Barbatos and Diavolo, time allowing. Knocking on the door, you were met with the tired eyes of the butler. "Welcome, over this way." Barbatos guided the pair of humans and you couldn't help but notice how unnervingly perfect this man was. It was as if a board has been placed against his back, perfectly aligning his spine starting at his hips, threaded through his neck. Finally, he motioned towards a satin couch placed within an openly lit common area, decorated with lavish antiques, artwork, and instruments. Solomon broke the silence, "Ah, Auguste Allaire?" "Indeed." The green-haired demon replied, understanding his question without having to look at the painting Solomon was referencing. "I would like to clarify this meeting is to get to know our human exchange students," He began lifting a tray off his serving cart, finished with matching teacups and plates for the both of us, "As humans, it's of upmost importan-" Doors burst open, featuring a particularly muscled demon prince. "Barbatos!" Diavolo smiled so wide his eyes managed to shut. Not only was his personality loud, his laugh was louder. "Sorry, sorry! I'm late, aren't I?" If you were embarrassed, you can imagine Barbatos' reaction in his own mind. He simply sat down and motioned for his Lord to follow suit. It was at this moment you thought it was a horrible prank you somehow got involved in. Months would pass, much like the meetings you had with the royals. During these moments you were allowed questions pre-approved by Simeon. "Why do you want to unite the realms?" and "What happened to the king?" All of which never satisfied any angels curiosity. It seemed for that you'd continue this way forever, until the day you knew of him. The sun gently glazed over your skin, sending shivers at the unexpected warmth of the devildom morning. Of course, it was Lucifer. "I know you better than to sleep in, MC." His gaze shifts to your own, as his back turns to face the now opened curtain of your room. "I'm sorry, I don't usually sleep in unless I'm sick." You weren't lying, it was unusual. "Oh? Perhaps it would be best for you to stay home. I'll have Satan take notes in your stead." Lucifer retorted, sparing you no opportunity to argue back. Then again...this would give you an opportunity to explore the house, especially to find anything Diavolo's "right hand man" might be keeping. Simply nodding, you rolled the covers over your head and set the alarm for another hour, knowing well a mostly human like yourself couldn't escape their well-trained eyes to watch them walk away. At 8 a.m, you awoke to find breakfast in a tightly-sealed container. However, hunger

could barely invade the anxiety creeping upon you. First in priority was making sure everyone was gone, no one in the kitchen, bedrooms, studies, or observatories. Now it was finally time...you took the steps towards Lucifer's room, each slower than the last. Lifting the back of your hand, you knock only to realize the door opening upon contact. The air was noticeably cooler, and his record player opened, as if suddenly stopped. You draw your attention towards his desk, the obvious choice. As you go through paperwork, you realize you can't find any, despite the mountains on his desk every night. Of course. They must've been brought to RAD along with his briefcase he brings every day. But there had to be something. Anything. Go through his bookshelves: nothing. Flip through his records: nothing. The closest lead you've got is a sticky-note in his book with a quote. You take off, looking for any other places he could possibly be storing such sensitive information, then it hit you: the upstairs. Lucifer had made it such a point to not venture upstairs, could he have been more oblivious of such a hint? Honestly, it was still scary to think about going up to an unknown part of the house, but you had no other choice. After checking the time, you begin making the climb only to find a hallway with one door. A loud bang comes from an unknown direction, and you flinch, thinking someone had come home. Then a low chuckle comes from the room in front of you, nearly taunting. Once you gather your emotions, you continue onward to face whatever lay in front of you, only to find a normal-looking human. "who-" "oh, are you the new playtoy?" he responds, "excuse me?" You step backwards, out of reach from his hands, "I don't know what you're talking about." His smile fades, "oh, you must be another human.." He's human, too? "I know what it looks like, but you're not safe here. Ask about Belphegor. Meet me again when it's safe. He's coming back." the blue-white haired male shrinks back into the darker area of the room, and before you can process, your feet run down to your room. Not too long after, a knock fills the empty air. The handle turns, and Satan makes his appearance visible. "Wow. You do look bad. Maybe you should get back to bed." you shake your head, attempting to mask the heartbeat in your chest. "No! No, I'm fine, I swear. What's in your hand?" attempting to avert his attention, you point to the notebook in his hand. "Oh, that. Well I came here to study with you since I heard you missed the day." Satan moved in towards your bed, laying the notebook on your bedstand and flipping to the nearest filled-in page. "Here's the theories we went over, and the elixir's following. I've already taken geography so I brought my old textbook to help, and then there's realm science." You hold your hand up for him to pause as you look over each notes. "Wait, Griffins horn? I thought it was powdered unicorn hoof." He smiles, "Nice catch. We go over it next semester, some things can be substituted for higher-grade materials depending on the molecular structure. If you take a look at..." Satan proceeds to take your mind off the previous situation for the next two hours. That is, until you get lost in thought. "MC? MC, snap out of-" "Who is Belphegor?" you interrupt, leaving him speechless. He clicks his tongue, hand on temple. Everytime he attempts to talk he groans in frustration. Panic settles upon your face unsure of what you had just asked. Had he just set you up? Was he another demon out to steal your soul? What will they do when they find out. "What do you know?" Satan manages to find words, "I-" you begin to lose yours. What does Belphegor mean? It seems like a name but what if- "You know what? I don't want to know. Keep it to yourself." He gets off from the edge of your bed and slams the door behind him. This wouldn't be the last time you heard of him, nor the last you saw. The next morning was eerie. You weren't dead, but..it somehow felt like it. No one came to let you know of breakfast, even after a few minutes of waiting. It

wasn't like you wanted to show your face either, you felt naked. When you did arrive, everyone at the table remained silent besides minimal conversations. Beelzebub no longer tried to steal your food, and Asmodeus wasn't trying to flirt with you. When Lucifer announced it was time to head to RAD, a weight had been lifted from the silence. After opening the door, you noticed another figure beside him. "Good morning, Mc. May I trouble you in taking you out of classes for another day?" Barbatos lightly tilted his head as his eyes looked upon your soul. "O-Of course." You took the hand provided, as he lead you to the castle. When you arrived, Barbatos told you to make yourself comfortable in the first living room. Before long, Diavolo appeared alongside him. "Mc! It's good to see you!" he beamed, arms opened for a hug. "And you as well, Diavolo." Quick to your feet, you met his courtesy. He brightened further when you returned his affection. "Do you by chance enjoy flowers?" Thinking back to the celestial realm, you nod. Taking your hand, he shows you to the garden out back. "Out of everything I was not expecting a garden.." "Really? What did you expect?" His arms crossed and he moved closer towards you, watching your expressions as you gathered your thoughts. "Well, for a demon, maybe stone statues or torture devices." He chuckles, shaking his head. "Is that what humans think now? Are we that cruel?" Diavolo jokes, until Barbatos chimes in, "Times have changed since young masters reign." as he finishes, you notice the plate of gourmet sandwiches prepared for the two of you, placed on a garden table not too far off. Together, you shared the next two hours together chatting alone. Without distractions clouding the brain, things seemed to appear as usual. The brothers began talking to you as normal, including Satan. Simeon hadn't brought up any information or lack thereof since the last meeting with Diavolo and Solomon. In fact, Diavolo seemed to be taking more time out of his schedule to spend with you alone, rather than the two human exchange students. It was nice, for a change; until you remembered what occurred with the Belphegor situation. "So, why did you ask me here in the first place?" Diavolo noticed your body language shifting for a few minutes now, but he knew something was coming at this point. "Today? Well, I enjoy the company of-" "No, Dia. When you first brought me to this garden." It couldn't be helped, you had now formed a friendship with Diavolo. He knew too much about you and how you truly acted when you were yourself, rather than the puppet an angel could use. Emotions conflicted, parts of you yearned to let loose, yet at the same time, what if it was all just an act? What if you had fallen right into his trap, and he knew all along? Just like the dictator Michael had expected. Putting his cup aside, he took a brief pause before answering. "Satan told me that day what had occurred. I thought it best to ensure my exchange student's --" Diavolo stopped as you stood up, allowing your exit. "Tired. So fucking tired." You thought to yourself as you made your way home to the house of Lamentation. Of course, not only did the oh-so-friendly prince take you out of classes once a week, he adjusted your course schedule to reflect such changes. All you could think was how pathetic you are for allowing this to happen under your watch. You never felt fit for this job, but never more so in this moment. Hesitation couldn't be found as you made your way up the stairs into the room. "You're back. Angry. Cat got your tongue?" He was obviously trying to rile you up and it was working. "So who is Belphegor? Are you trying to get me killed?" At this point, he bursts out laughing, "you think this is funny?!" you scream out. "Very." He stops, looking directly into your eyes. "And you're only helping me escape. How about I tell you a secret? I'm not even a human. I know you understand that by now, but I'm Belphegor, the last brother. And you just helped me escape." Before you knew it, hands wrapped around your neck. It was

gentle enough to find release, running downstairs and towards the front door. It was always apparent there was risks, but that's why you had the angels blessing! So why are you so close to death?? Before you could turn the handle, it moves itself. Belphie takes the chance to knock you off your feet, immobilizing you and landing you upon your back. The door opens as Belphegor protrudes claws into your most vital organ, and cold rushes over you, processing the last visuals of Lucifer's shock with Diavolo behind him. "Open your eyes." You wince. He's on top of you, how could you look? There's no way a human could escape the wrath of a demon. "Did you forget about me?" the voice echoes. What? Opening your eyes, you find nothing but white space. Suddenly, a door appears in front of your body. "Don't waste it. And don't forget where you came from." Lilith? There's no way...but then, this couldn't be a dream. It felt too real. On the other side of the doorframe was your last visual before you died, from another perspective. Glimpses flash from her own memories as it floods into your own.. in a flash, your perspective of yourself and the brothers around you changes. You could see the door Lucifer held opening in mere seconds. He froze, in shock of seeing Belphegor out. What's more, the man behind him couldn't see. The red haired demon pushed through, to find the worst fate. Immediately transforming, he flies to your dead body's side. Anger wouldn't be enough to describe what you witnessed in his eyes, nor the grief he was going through. This wasn't normal. Nothing in your body felt that what you were watching was normal. A king's priority should be on subduing Belphegor, and here he was at your deceased version's side. Suddenly, Belphegor's words filled the air. "DON'T FUCKING DARE, FOR THEM? HAHAHA!" You've never heard such a deranged laugh before. Lucifer's eyes opened even further upon processing what Diavolo was accomplishing. Tears couldn't be found in Diavolo's face, he was far beyond it. Whatever was happening, Belphegor didn't dare interrupt. "L-Lord Diavolo, you can't sacrifice yourself for-" Diavolo paid no mind to his right hand mans attempt at stopping him, taking a deep inhale, hands at his horns. "I apologize mother, but I can assure you I won't be wasting your gift." time slows further as Diavolo begins to pull away at his horns. "STOP." Every head turns to look at you, including Diavolo. It wasn't until you died that it hit you. The moments before anyone realized you came back you saw his selfless actions for yourself.

[storiesforallfandoms]

we’re too stupid ~ the vlog squad

word count: 1885

request?: yes!

@iawaythrown​  “May I ask for a vlog squad x popular youtube reader

The reader has their own very popular youtube channel/podcast like a scientific/space podcast. (Like a Vsauce\GameTheory channel) The vlog squad and the reader fan base (somehow) always wants them to collab. One day David says "It won't happen because the reader probably doesn't like us." This ends up getting everyone on the podcast.”

description: when their favorite youtubers show interest in being on their podcast, they jump at the chance to invite them on

pairing: vlog squad x gender neutral!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“You know what I’ve been listening to a lot lately?” Scotty asked David on the newest vlog David had uploaded. You were watching the vlog on your TV while you prepared to upload the newest episode of your podcast. You had a drink half raised to your lips when Scott responded to his own question, “The Spaced Out podcast.”

Your drink nearly slipped from your hand at the mention of your podcast. You were sure you had imagined it, so you went back and repeated the part just to be sure. The name of your podcast slipped from Scott’s lips again and you had to pause the video to scream with excitement.

When you placed the video again, David spoke next. “Oh wait, is that the one about space and shit? You played it for me before.”

“Yeah! Man, it’s so interesting. I could honestly listen to the host talk about space all day,” Scott said.

“He keeps bringing it up during the Scottcast, too,” Jeff commented. “I’m starting to think he’d rather co-host that podcast instead of our own.”

“Man, I’d love to be on that podcast!”

You could hardly contain your excitement. Your favorite YouTubers knew who you were?! They knew your podcast?! You had to be dreaming, you were sure of it.

“There’s no way they’d ever have us on the podcast,” David was saying. “We’re too stupid and immature, they’d probably hate us.”

“Speak for yourself!” Zane, dressed in some weird costume for a bit, called, causing the boys to laugh together.

This gave you an idea. You put your laptop aside and opened Instagram on your phone. You searched the name “David Dobrik” and went to his DMs.

~~~~~~

A week later, your podcasting room was filled with 11 extra people than there normally was. The room was only small with a handful of seats, so a lot of your guests were squeezed in together or basically sat on one another. No one seemed to mind, though. Every single person in the room was super excited to be there.

“What’s up all my space geeks? Welcome back to another episode of The Spaced Out podcast, the podcast where we discuss super nerdy space things,” you started with your usual intro. “Today’s episode is a little different, though, as today I am joined by not one, not two, not even three, but eleven special guests. You heard me right, eleven. Special guests, wanna say hi?”

All eleven of your guests rang out with a chorus of, “Hello!”s at the one time, making it all come out as just a shouting mess. You laughed and waved a hand to silence them.

“In case you had trouble understanding what they were saying,” you said, “my guests today are David, Scotty, Toddy, Zane, Erin, Carly, Natalie, Heath, Mariah, Corinna, and Jeff, better known as a large chunk of YouTube’s biggest vlogging group: The Vlog Squad!”

The Vlog Squad cheered at their introduction as you just clapped your hands.

“Can I just say,” Heath said once the noise started to die down, “that I am impressed with how fast you said our names and how easy it was. You didn’t even stutter once.”

“I’ll be honest, when David told me exactly who was coming I prepared myself for this,” you admitted. “I’ve never had so many guests on the show before. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had any guests at all. I don’t really know anyone in my real life that’s as interested in space and science as I am.”

“To be fair, none of us are, either,” Jeff joked, causing the room to laugh.

“Yeah, you picked the wrong people to be on your podcast,” Corinna added.

“You don’t have to have any sort of interest to be on the podcast, really. As long as you don’t mind me talking about my nerdy space obsession every now and then anyone is welcome on the podcast.”

Your heart was beating so fast you were sure everyone else could hear it. You were shocked that you were managing to remain so calm in that moment. Your favorite YouTubers were sitting right there in front of you, being guests on your podcast, and somehow you were acting as though they were just friends that you had convinced to come on the podcast.

“Is there any cool space facts you can share with us to get the ball rolling?” David asked.

“Dude, I’ve made over 300 episodes of this podcast that is literally all about space, you gotta narrow down your parameters there,” you told him.

“What’s your favorite space fact then?”

You thought for a moment, going through all the little facts you had in your mind. There was so much you could share with them that you really didn’t know where to start.

“Okay,” you said finally, “I have one. I think David will like this cause we all know he’s made of money: there is a planet that is called 55 Cancri e. It is over twice the size of Earth and it is potentially made of diamonds.”

They all gasped and made comments of astonishment at the same time at this.

“Like, literally made of diamonds?” Corinna asked.

“It’s hard to know for sure. It’s roughly 41 lightyears away so it’s not exactly easy to reach, but they think it’s made of graphite and diamonds,” you explained. “My favorite fact, and one that’s a little scary, is that it’s actually completely silent in space. Like not a single sound, because atmospheres around planets are what contain the soundwaves to make noise.”

“I told you,” David said, turning to face Scott. “We’re too stupid to be on this podcast.”

You all laughed together. “You guys aren’t stupid! I was just fascinated with space as a child and my parents let me feed into that fascination. They always bought me books about space and brought me to visit certain space centers. I was that kid that always said she was gonna grow up and be an astronaut. Instead, I just talk about them on the internet.”

Everything was going so well. You were getting to know your guests and they kept urging you to tell them facts and stories about space. You knew a lot of what you were telling them you had talked about on the podcast before, so devoted listeners probably wouldn’t be too interested in a lot of what you had to say in that episode, but you didn’t mind too much. You just loved to see the looks of astonishment on everyone’s faces as you continued to tell them fact after fact.

When you came to a segment you did in the podcast in which you would read messages from fans, you decided to your guests choose which messages to read and respond to. David took the tablet you used for this first and read through the thousands of messages you received between uploading your most recent episode and recording the current one.

“Are you going to talk about the new 4K pictures of Mars?” he read.

“Oh my God, yes!” you responded. “That will be next episode. I haven’t looked at them all yet because I wanna have a live reaction to them, but I did see one picture and it looks absolutely stunning.”

“It blew my mind how it just looked like a desert here,” Carly commented. “Mars is a lot more like Earth than we think. Sucks that we’ll never be able to live there or anything.”

“I don’t think we’ll never be able to live there, but I don’t think it’ll happen in our lifetimes,” you commented. “But that’s a whole other thing, let’s move on from that.”

“What has been your favorite space related story of the past year?” Natalie read the message she had picked.

“I don’t know if it’s my favorite, but it’s definitely one that I was very interested in reading: a star just vanished in 2020,” you responded. “Apparently that’s something that can just happen, stars can just suddenly disappear and no one knows where they went. This star from the Kinman dwarf galaxy that shined almost brighter than the sun just vanished between 2011 and 2020, and they have no explanation for it. That story stuck with me the most cause I just find it funny that a star that bright just vanished and no one can figure out where it went.”

They continued reading you messages for a while before passing your tablet back to you.

“While I wish I could sit here with you guys and talk about space and your vlogs forever, unfortunately we are running out of time,” you said. “I want to thank the Vlog Squad again for joining me on this episode, and I hope I didn’t bore you guys to death with my stories and facts.”

“Not at all!” David spoke. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I really enjoyed myself. Listening to you talk was really interesting.”

The rest of the group agreed. You tried not to blush from all their kind words.

“I always wanna thank our sponsors again. As always I appreciate them supporting my show, and of course I want you guys, the listeners. Your constant support for the show means so much to me. If you wanna hear more fun facts about space that you’ll never use in live, follow me on my social media. If you’re not already following the podcast, follow the podcast! I upload episodes every Friday, and if you want to be involved in the show be sure to send me your space related messages and maybe I’ll read them out on the next episode. Have a good weekend, little space geek out!”

You ended the recording and the group almost cheered for you. You smiled and stood to thank them again for coming on the show. You were shocked when Corinna pulled you into a hug, which caused the rest of the group to hug you one by one.

“This was the most fun I think I’ve ever had,” Erin commented. “Would you be open to having more guests on the show? I’d love to come back and to just listen to you talk for a full hour.”

The rest of the squad agreed. You really didn’t think you could feel any more excited or on cloud nine, but they kept surprising you.

“I would definitely be open to having guests again,” you replied. “If you guys ever wanna be on the show again, just send me a DM. I’d love to have you!”

“We’d love to have you on the vlogs sometime, too, if you’d be open for that,” David told you.

There they go again, making you feel like you had passed cloud nine and now were on a completely different planet with excitement.

“Y-Yeah!” you managed. “Of course, I’d love that!”

After some more small talk, you showed the group out and thanked them again for coming. Once you were sure they were gone and unable to see you, you began jumping for joy and exclaiming with excitement. You couldn’t believe it! You had just hosted a podcast with your favorite people, and they asked you to join them for filming sometime?!

“This is the best day of my life!”

[the-shared-brain-in-retrograde]

Avengers Assemble

A joint review...

We began this viewing of Avengers Assemble (or just The Avengers if you're in other parts of the world) full of emotion. A range of emotion for quite different ends of the spectrum. @cassandrafey gave a giddy squeal of excitement as she pressed play, because apparently she loves this movie a bit more than she realised.

These feelings are evident throughout the review. We rarely differ on our views irl, and have been known to finish conversations with ‘and then both angrily agreed that everyone else was wrong.’ HOWEVER, we do have a difference on opinion regarding two of our Avenger friends, so just be prepared.

And so we begin...

We both focused on slightly different bits of the opening. @cassandrafey swooned over her beloved Loki and his glowing sceptre, and @becksxoxo raged at the thought of Thanos. What a bastard.

That was a bit of a shit show of an evacuation. There was a lot of running around but no actual evacuating. If it has been a drill they'd have all been sat down after and got a right dressing down. Useless.

Ah, our old chum the Tesseract. What good will come from messing around with it? None, is the clear answer depicted in this film.

You've got to admire Nick's leather coat action, and we do. Look at it swirl. We have a good friend who also wears a long leather jacket and flourishes it justly. It's a good look and we are here for it. Which is nice, because we do start to question ol' Nick at points further on.

@becksxoxo reet enjoyed Maria's snarky, 'yes sir’ to Fury giving her orders she clearly didn't agree with. Nice showing of some eye rolling teenage daughter action.

We also both noted down Hawkeye up in the rafters, adorably wrapped around that railing. For a man who just knocks about with a bow and arrow he contributes quite the thought provoking insight there. Who knew he knew so much on the science of tesseracts. Perhaps he knows more than old Erik, who @becksxoxo stands by the statement that he shouldn't be messing with it.

Loki makes his entrance and @cassandrafey seems to have developed something of a competence kink along the way because he really does just turn up and get shit done quickly and efficiently. If it wasn’t for Fury the whole place would still be standing and immaculate as well. (Other than a few corpses but I imagine that can be easily remedied). A good, tidy boy. A good, tidy boy who does not look well. Tres manic. But like Cass said, very efficient. He's got control of Clint and Eric quite quickly, he's secured the tesseract and given Nick a stab for good measure. We also applaud his choice of getaway car, perfect for enjoying the car chase. Any hint of exhilaration and his chaos shows. And who doesn't love a good old fashioned car chase, with added chopper action? Nick Fury certainly does, always in the damned things.

All things considered @becksxoxo would still prefer a mountain side lair (which Marvel you still have not sent the plans for, and its honestly getting mildly tiresome) because they are much less likely to collapse in on you like the Hellmouth eating itself at the end of Buffy (still traumatised. I don't want to talk about it...)

"Assemble them Avengers that I've been collecting."

Nicholas Joseph Fury, 2012

Oh Natasha. She is our favourite deep down I think. We appreciate her; her sass, her style and her competence. She can really bring a man down and we love to see it.

@becksxoxo. In my' notes I just have, she's a good egg. And if I was piss drunk off sangria and stood in Cass' Mum's kitchen I'd probably slide into ScarJo's DMs and tell her so, just as I did Anthony Mackie that one time. However that is a tale for when we review The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, which in itself will be a very devastating time. [but Cass' Mum did think that Sebastian messaged me "you too babe 😘😘😘😘" so there's something - god I hate myself haaaaa]

[@cassandrafey Let it be known that my mother is so busy looking at Thor in these films that she has no idea who Bucky is, and once memorably referred to him as Binky. So. Not surprising that she thinks it’s plausible that Sebastian Stan is just sitting about engaging with drunk women on the internet. And I mean drunk. Good lord. If you’re still with us by TFATWS you will have earned the full story.]

We've never seen the Hulk film, and we're not including it in this watch through (so perhaps we never will...) but we're glad its Mark Ruffalo and not Ed Norton. He's a sweetie, as @cassandrafey puts, and a smiley tit in interviews, as @becksxoxo added. In that little house he looks ever so tall, and I did worry he had maybe shrunk as he's gotten older, but it was just a trick of perspective as he becomes normal sized once out in the open.

"You run the world's greatest covert security network and you're gonna leave the fate of the human race to a handful of freaks?"

FUCK OFF! BLOODY OLD RICH TOSSPOTT. A direct quote from @cassandrafey

We hadn't realised the Avengers Initiative had been canned. We definitely remember them talking to Tony about it, and then being like oh we'd like Iron Man but not you, and then clearly took their ball home and stopped the whole thing. We're starting to see the cracks and flaws in SHIELD.

Here we had a divergence in thought.

@becksxoxo had an overwhelming sadness wash over her as Steve remembered back, alone with his thoughts and that gym bag.

@cassandrafey immediately went for 'he's made a right mess of that, how much do you think it costs him going through gym bags.'

Which is odd, as usually we're quite the opposite in showing our feelings, but Cass has just told me that my problem here is that I've let my emotions get in the way of my common sense [which is true as I usually do a much better job of really pushing down all those feelings that try to bubble out. I'm a big advocate of repression...]

As ever Becks sides with Steve. They should all be concerned about people messing with the thing that powered the weapons of Hydra, what are you trying to use it for, hum? You SHOULD have left it in the ocean.

We then see Tony Stark show off his plumbing skills. @becksxoxo spelt plumber wrong in her notes, as plummer. A plummer, one who picks plums. Ah plums [spit in my mouth, queue @cassandrafey squeals of pain in the background]. ENOUGH.

Here we get introduced to Stark Tower (the place where Christmas fanfiction dreams are made. ALL I WANT IS MATCHING ONSIES AND THEM ALL TO BE FRIENDS) @becksxoxo thinks it pretty big headed to stick your name on the side of a building in massive letters, @cassandrafey reasons its what saves them all in the end, but we get ahead of ourselves. Nice little Pepper Potts cameo, with her bestie Phil. We've asked this question before but not got to the bottom of it is, why doesn't Tony like things being handed to him?

Volatile, self obsessed and doesn't play well with others.

I mean, @cassandrafey he does say it himself... 😘

Steve and Phil then meet. It was here that @cassandrafey launched a sudden and unprovoked two pronged attack: ‘First hint of personality from Coulson. But if he’s a Cap fanboy it makes me suspicious. Two boring chaps together having an awkward confab. Sorry Becks, that’s rude. I’m trying. I’ll try harder.’

@becksxoxo would like to remind everyone that this isn't the first instance of Cassandra being harshly rude this week [because she is certainly never going to let Cass forget it...] but I would like to add "I watched you while you were sleeping" did make me squawk. Nice one Phil, but keep it in your pants. I then clearly had another emotional break, as in my notes it just says 'Oh I love Steve so much, I might cry. I do love Phil too. What the fuck is wrong with me.', so that's great.

When we go to Germany Cass, I do not wish to go to the opera, I want us to get off our tits on schnapps and strudel.

@cassandrafey Ugh Loki looks fucking gorgeous in his muggle clothes. I have spoken on this before but I LOVE this scene. Have you ever seen a man descend a staircase more gracefully? It should be ILLEGAL. He should have to take lifts. It’s too much.

And there he goes, twatting that man in the face and stealing his eyeball.

Here is a very condensed list (which can be expanded on if anyone is interested) of people @becksxoxo would like to twat like that in the face:

Most men, apart from my tumblr boys

The entirety of the Tory Party

Thanos

As we have previously established we know who @cassandrafey truly adores, so what follows next is no surprise.

Cass: His nasty little chaos smile. I love him. He's so good at distraction. Oooof, the glamour, the armour. A good speech. 10/10 would kneel for that. Christ I would be on my knees so fast [it was here @becksxoxo has a small break down, as typing up Cassandra's mind vomit really felt like what I have to do in my day job and then my mind took a turn of having an academic dictating such sentences and then HR having to get involved... Fuck me.] Cass then skims passed Steve coming in, and zones in on Tony's grand entrance and his never ending list of nicknames. She would like to suggest a new nick name for Steve as the Ninja Turtle (or old man tortoise as she goes on t cruelly add) as he does look like that with his shield on his back and his little helmet on. Becks obviously appreciated Steve a bit more, especially his "I'm not the one out of time," line.

Thor really said yoink...

I mean its not the family reunion we were hoping for. We were both cross at Thor for not being a little bit more pleased to see the brother he thought was dead. The problem here is that Thor still wants all the toys, just pick one Thor you can't have Asgard and Earth. We love the Shakespearean vibes though.

I'm not sure why Tony snatched Thor to have a fight with, when he could have just taken Loki back to the ship, but the fight was worth the watch as Loki could attest to. Then Steve turns up like the parent who has enough of his kids shit. I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it. Followed by a light bit of deforestation, should be a little more careful there boys, will no one think of the environment.

Poor Banner, imagine looking up at work and being met with the cold eyes of a dangerous criminal, and his mischievous grin and little wave. Perhaps that's part of Loki's recruitment campaign.

We appreciate that they have given Loki the correct number of guards this time, unlike the meagre few at the TVA. His prison though does not seem up to code. I feel like there should at least be a seat and a bathroom. I'm sure the Geneva Convention would have something to say about all this.

And here comes Fury to have a word. Which seems a useless thing to try and do with Loki. Loki will always have something to say, [and will use his words to be mean, like some other persons we know eh Cass?], and you're not going to win against him that way.

We already have a Bucky drinking game for Winter Soldier, but @cassandrafey would like to create a new one for this next scene specifically. Every time some says Loki you take a shot, and hope your liver doesn't give out by the end of it.

"Is that what just happened?"

Its good to see that Steve is as confused about science as we are, as the Science Bros™️ talk their gobbledygook.

And I understood THAT reference. Steve is well pleased with himself for being up to date with pop culture [like me trying to use thirsty on main Cass..] that he sort of turns it into a competition with Thor and DRUM ROLL PLEASE @cassandrafey admits that this may be the first scene where she actually sort of likes Steve.

Ooop, this is Cass' favourite bit. She can't come to the phone right now as she's on the floor having her little thoughts again. I will add though that Nat is just really good at what she does, gets that information out of him nice and smoothly. Love her.

The we have Steve being sneaky. This scene of him breaking and entering reminds @becksxoxo of the bit in the First Avenger where he steals that dancers helmet and sneaks into the Hydra facility to rescue Bucky. Awwwwwwwww, my heart. Also why do you have Hydra-like weaponry and armour on the ship, eh Nick?! What are SHIELD up to?

The following scene is a difficult one because, yes we both agree that Nick is being sneaky and not telling them everything, BUT the relationship and subsequent sass-off (as Cass has coined it) between Steve and Tony causes a slight division, its actually quite a dramatic divergence but we have skimmed over most of the argument as to not take this horrific tangent of a review any further off the rails. Suffice to say @cassandrafey sides with Tony and @becksxoxo sides with Steve. Also, Cass right enjoys the arguments, however its all too much in the feelings for Becks who would like them all to just get a long a bit more like they do in the cartoon.

There is a moment where Steve says "I knew guys with none of that worth ten of you" and the noise @becksxoxo made to stop the crying was quite alarming. You can 't tell us he isn't referring to Buck, and it makes me so sad. Its good to know the way to stop bickering between the Avengers is to bring up unaliving yourself. Quite the turn we took there. Poor Bruce.

You know its bad when Natasha is worried. And the other guy turned up, so it was quite bad. And then they also get attacked from the brainwashed crew (coming on through). Barton gets in a good shot and the ship is going to pieces.

Fury is so done with his staff. Is the sun up, then fucking use it to navigate you pleb.

Then Tony and Steve get themselves together and work quite well alongside each other in an emergency. Although asking Steve to look at advanced technology did seem a bit like Din trying to get Grogu to fix them wires, but at least he tried. The Genius and the Dullard - a new spin off show with Tony and Steve trying to fix things whilst bickering endlessly, but without the sexual tension of TFATWS. If I, @becksxoxo, had been captaining this flying hellhole I would have started to try and land when the first engine was blown, rather than wait for the very capable enemy to knock out another engine of this poorly designed ship. And @cassandrafey would like to say that Hawkeye was clearly the only good shot in SHIELD, as no one else can clearly hit a target for shit. No wonder its all gone to pot.

"Ooop there goes Coulson."

Although @cassandrafey notes were brief on the whole affair, please join us now to go through the dramatic emotions that @becksxoxo went through:

Oh not Phil

I don't know what's going to happen

Oh no

I screamed (it startled the cats)

Oh Loki you silly goose

Nat does a great job on walloping her bestie until he remembers who she is. We love that Nat and Clint are such good friends. Its really good to see a girl boy relationship that is just friends and nothing more on screen. We demand more of it!

@cassandrafey :Clint looks like I felt after I had too much to drink last Saturday and it was fucking boiling when I woke up and was still partly-drunk-partly-hungover. Becks suggested that maybe that’s actually what had happened to me but I pointed out that Loki wouldn’t have to bother to mind control me because I would be all too willing, dare I say even eager, to do as he says.

Nick Fury - we are disappointed in you.

Firstly, Coulson would be well annoyed at you dipping his prized possession in his own blood. They were vintage.

Secondly, what are you doing messing around trying to recreate hydra weapons? If the Nazis were at it you probably should leave it alone, words to live by from @cassandrafey there.

Thirdly, the manipulation and lies. Using Coulson's death to unite the team is one thing, but why do you keep hiding pertinent information and using horrid things to get people to do what you want them to do. You seem to trust this gang of 'freaks' to help win this war for you, perhaps you could trust them enough to have a damned civil conversation and get things out in the open. Perhaps the whole thing would work better if there was BETTER COMMUNICATION. FFS GUYS.

The Battle of New York

Tony is able to figure out Loki's plan, as they definitely have a few traits in common, grandstanding being one of them, @becksxoxo contribution to his discussion was 'Ooooooh my names on a building...'

Stark Tower does seem pretty easy to break into, everyone's there, even @cassandrafey who has been shoved right back into her feelings with 'Loki walks so nicely I just whimpered I love him.'

Wouldn't it have been amazing if Loki and Tony had just gotten drunk together, made friends and called the whole thing off. But @cassandrafey we would have missed the hand around the throat...

@becksxoxo would like to note how excited she got when she spotted Ashley from critical role hiding from an alien, it was really nice.

Loki sort of comes back to himself slightly when talking to Thor which tugged on the old heart strings. But he just can't help himself, little stabby boy.

What we both love is the first bit of proper Avengers team work happening as they work together to fight the big bad. We LOVE the iconic panning shot around all six of them as the Avengers refrain booms in the background. Love love love love love it.

Two other iconic moments from this film come next, an unnecessary forward role from Cap, and the stunning hair flips from both Nat and Loki.

@becksxoxo then went off on another rant regarding feeble minded men as she is want to do when left to her own devices.

We are insurance. WE ARE FARMERS - what?! *Bob Fossil voice* what are you?! How can I understand you?!!

We have more questions for SHIELD, Fury and The Council. Why are there nuclear weapons on that ship? Why is Fury trying to shoot down a plane with a nuclear weapon on it? We are not nuclear weapon experts but we know that that can't be a good idea to do. Also, as the person driving that plane to go nuke New York, how would you have lived with yourself when it went off?

@cassandrafey loves Tony for throwing himself into the path of the bomb and taking it out of harms way (other than the harm it did to them aliens but we'll move on from the possible mass genocide...) [a follow up convo we have just had on the phone was @cassandrafey of course he didn't know that would happen and it wasn't any of his fault, @becksxoxo of course not, @cassandrafey WELL IT WASN'T, @becksx I KNOW... we're fine, we are ok...] It was very selfless. There was no guarantee he was coming back from that. @becksxoxo managed to gloss over the whole thing and made no notes on this part what so ever but did pose the question:

Which OG Avenger would you want to give you mouth to mouth?

Again we differed in our answer. Cass was most concerned about who would do the best job of reviving her, and was erring on the side of Natasha or Clint. Becks however may have just been thinking of having a sly snog with Bucky's best friend while he was off in Siberia. [@becksxoxo here are I'd like to say that it wasn't quite like how Cass is making it out to be, but we'd all laugh about it later] [Cass here to say I think it was exactly how it sounded, and just another sorry case of someone being thirsty on sideblog].

Stan Lee spotting. Nice to see.

And then they all go their separate ways, but they'll all come back because he needs them to come back. Bad logic Fury, but nevermind.

Cass recently saw a post online that says that Tony was rebuilding Stark Tower so that there was a floor for each Avenger, and we think that's just so cute. Can anyone say matching onesies?

FUCKING THANOS. They both angrily agreed that Thanos was a great big baldy cunt bastard.

And so concludes Phase One of the MCU Rewatch. Two young ladies have just appeared at Cass’ door with alcohol, and if she can find the energy she will now crawl towards them in the hope of reviving herself with some of that blessed liquid after all of our thoughts and feelings today. Becks is going for that short line she was thinking about earlier, or probably just to collapse in the river. The Shared Brain had been on the phone for roughly 5 hours writing this today, but if you think that we won’t be back texting each other within the next 20 minutes, we’ll then you don’t know a damn thing about codependency.

Becks: We are unwell.

Cass: You want me to put that? No I’m not going to, I think we’re doing fine!

See you in Phase 2 bitches! 🤘

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[cakebeam]

Thoughts on RNM 3x08 - In two parts. First part will be everything outside of Malex.

Hip-hip-hurray, Malex finally happened!

Now let’s cut to all the other sh*t.

First off I just want to say, this is going to be very much a downer about 3x08 (and season 3 as a whole) so if you’re still wanting to just ride the Malex kiss high- best to just pass on this.

Where to begin. How about with Liz Ortecho, the still currently demoted main character that’s barely been involved in the storylines this season because someone else has taken her place. The wishy-washy concern Liz is giving to her other friends (outside of Maria), giving no mention or care about Kyle, and she’s barely showing any concern about Max after finding out Jones is in his F*CKING BODY and his mind is probably trapped in there as well with him. It becomes really apparent when compared to her overwhelming concern for Maria. Like, they're not this close as friends. But here’s Liz trying to create a rescue serum for Maria, going above and beyond for Maria, talking to Maria about her issues when she’s in a coma- WHAT ABOUT MAX??? The guy she’s supposed to be in love with?? Why wasn’t she seen talking to him, even if it was to his hat or something? ANYTHING. Or Rosa, her sister she’s only had back for 2 years? Instead all of Liz’s concerns and care is being given to only Maria- her ultimate best friend apparently who she didn’t speak to at all for a whole f*cking decade and didn’t want to clue in about Rosa coming back from the dead… Yeah ok.

Then we have the science-y hogwash scene in the barn of Isobel and Rosa inquiring about if they will make it while being in the mind vortex and Liz says “according to evidence you will die”. LOL WHAT?! What evidence?! You have evidence on alien mind visiting relating to death? Bitch where?!?! I don’t even pay attention to the science of this show but that one was so stupid it caught my attention. And then the unbelievable full minute scene of Liz to revved up background music heating up some horseshoes so Maria’s temp stays up.. Wow. You brought a patient into a drafty barn with the door open and didn’t think to bring some hot water bottles? Or a non-electric heating pad? Or I don’t know, NOT use a barn? They could have used the Wild Pony, I mean literally anywhere else.

Let’s get to some unfavorable scenes shall we? Isobel and Rosa taking the time to prop up Maria and calling her brave for reliving her grandmother’s disturbing memories while waiting outside of the room where she’s injecting people was really not the moment to do so. Is Rosa ever brave for having to constantly hang out in a bar this season because everyone refuses to go anywhere else? Or Kyle for standing up to a racist, almost dying, and consistently helping this group at the stake of losing his job and is now comatose? Is anyone else ever allowed to be given some praise on this show? The writer’s had 7 episodes of every character being up Maria’s ass, maybe cool it for this one?

Then there’s Alex’s moment of talking about Omar. Oh sweet jesus. I honestly did not see them going down this route for his story on his leg. I mean, we are all aware of the horrors that the U.S. military does to innocent people overseas, if this is the story they wanted to give to Alex, it shouldn’t have been, “because the Taliban killed a little boy who was his friend and so he avenged him”. This is a made up story in a fantasy show, the writer’s didn’t need to feed the audience some military/saviorism bullsh*t. What happened to Alex being aware he was part of the problem when he was in the army? What about the burning villages? The people screaming? “That the evil is YOU”? What about all of that? Instead we’re gonna bring up the Taliban now??? No sis, that’s not it. I am really disappointed with the writer’s with this. Alex’s loss of his leg could have been 100 other situations, not this.

Extra bad bits:

Isobel’s very tone deaf line of, “can I force one on you?” in reference to getting Liz to drink some wine. The writer’s should have known why Iz saying this would be distasteful. Also, it’s just a gross saying, why write it at all?

Kyle is basically not spoken of at all in this episode. While he is in a coma (in some other barn apparently) and also been injected with god knows what. No one in the group seems to give a sh*t because Maria needs everyone’s attention all of the time. Un-f*cking-believable. 

This Maria worship of season 3, when her actions from last season still have not been criticized or condemned by the writer’s, shows me that the homophobic narratives of last season will not be addressed and that the messaging of this show has OK’d Alex’s mistreatment last season. And I am not here for it.

[fanmoose12]

Mike Zacharias was, all things considered, a good guy.

Levi wouldn’t have gone so far as to call him a friend, they only had a couple of classes together, but they both were a part of a football team.

And on the field, there was no better partner than Mike. He was honest and reliable. And when they played on the opposite sides, there was no tougher or stronger opponent for Levi than him. He always offered a good challenge. Levi liked that, respected that.

So all in all, Mike was a cool, even awesome guy, Levi didn’t have a single problem with him, except his best friend.

Hange fucking Zoe.

One of the most prominent and intelligent students at their school. The weirdest student of their school.

She was loud, messy and batshit crazy. Among other students, she wasn’t known for her exceptional intellect or her unusual friendliness. Instead, she was known for causing an explosion at the school’s lab not once, not twice, but three whole times! The only reason why she wasn’t kicked out of the school was her perfect grades. Or her parents’ huge wealth.

When she wasn’t hanging out with her ‘research team’ as she affectionately called those fools, who followed her around, she was spending her time with Mike. She was with him almost always, including the football practice.

And maybe, Levi wouldn’t have any problem with her, or Mike, if Hange wasn’t loudly cheering on Mike every goddamn time she accompanied him to the practices.

And, yeah, sure, what was wrong with cheering on a friend? But it pissed Levi off, especially because maybe, kind of, he had a tiny, little, miniscule crush on Hange.

He didn’t like her, of course. He didn’t. He just liked staring at her and listening to her. She also smelled surprisingly nice and had very soft hands. Not that Levi had ever held hands with her. He just touched them once, and now he wanted to touch them again.

They didn’t hang out together and, of course, they weren’t friends. They had only one class together, and that was biology. Biology, where Levi’s traitors of friends decided to fucking dump him.

“You need to be more friendly,” Farlan, that asshole smirked at him, after he had told him that he and Isabel were going to pair up together for the science project.

Stupid jerk, if his advice was so fucking sound, why didn’t he follow it himself? Still, there was nothing left for Levi to do than to seek out a different partner for himself. His eyes darted to Erwin, they weren’t exactly friends, not as close as he was with Farlan and Isabel, but they talked sometimes. He liked Erwin, but apparently his opinion of him was wrong, because when Levi turned around - Erwin was already paired with the biggest shitass in their school - Nile Dawk.

And, unfortunately, apart from Erwin, there was no one else Levi was on good terms with. Maybe, there was some truth to that fucker’s words. He really didn’t have a lot of friends.

Help came from an unexpected quarter.

Hange Zoe, the school’s prodigy, stood next to him, smiling sheepishly.

“Do you need a partner?” she asked.

And it wasn’t like Levi could refuse. He did need a partner. And, as he learned later, Hange Zoe turned out to be an amazing one.

She was smart, but also hardworking and very passionate. She was also unusually, but genuinely nice. She wasn’t even a bit arrogant, and whenever Levi didn’t get something, she always explained it to him patiently.

(Sometimes, even though he would rather die than admit it out loud, he played dumb on purpose, just so he could listen to her excited voice and look into her burning eyes, as she explained to him some stupid shit like meiosis).

So, yeah, she was kind and really fucking funny. And, maybe, one could call her pretty, if that one was into messy-haired four-eyed weirdos. (Unfortunately, Levi was). And, yeah, maybe, he liked it, maybe, he liked her. It meant nothing though. Hange probably didn’t even know his name and paired up with him only out of the kindness of her pure fucking heart.

Levi shouldn’t even think about her. He also shouldn’t stare at her during lunches like he’s some kind of a pervert. And, especially, he shouldn’t become angry every time he hears “Go, Mike, you’re the best!”

She was just trying to lift her best friend’s spirits, Farlan and Isabel did it all the time.

Still, it pissed him off, it hurt his pride, it made him fucking jealous.

He hated it. But, unfortunately, he couldn’t hate her.

 ***

His leg was kicked. Levi ignored it. His leg was kicked again. Again, Levi ignored.

“You’re staring at her again,” the words were followed by another kick.

Levi grunted, turning to face Farlan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, using his most disinterested voice.

“Huh?” Isabel twisted her head around, looking at the mass of students, gathered in the cafeteria. “Who was big bro staring at?”

“No one,” Levi answered, while at the same time Farlan pointed Isabel to the right person.

“Ooh,” she cooed, grinning wickedly. “You’ve been staring at the weird Zoe girl!”

“Now, now,” Farlan chucked, patting Isabel’s head. “You shouldn’t talk about her like that. She may be a weirdo, but she’s also Levi’s sweetheart.”

“I swear to god, Farlan, if you don’t shut up, I’ll fucking punch you!”

Levi’s anger intensified, as he saw the shit-eating grin on his friend’s face. It was an empty threat and Farlan knew it perfectly.

“Oh no!” Isabel squealed, frantically pulling on Levi’s hand. “She’s coming here!”

“Oh yes, she totally does!” Farlan agreed. “Come on, Izzy, we should give them some privacy.”

And before Levi could throw another insult his way or beg them not to leave him alone, Farlan grabbed Isabel’s hand and dragged her away.

Fucking traitors.

Levi looked up - Hange was actually heading to his table. Shit. What did she want? What should he do?

She probably wanted to discuss the science project, the rational part of Levi’s mind kept insisting. But his heart didn’t listen, continuing to beat erratically inside his chest.

Shit, he needed to get a grip on himself. Hange was just a girl, a nerdy weirdo. The fuck he got so worried about?

“Hi,” Hange stood in front of him, holding a tray in her hands. “Can I sit down with you?”

“There is a lot of free space here,” Levi grumbled, taking a bite from his sandwich.

He mentally kicked himself. Why was always such an asshole? That’s why he only had two friends. Not that Levi gave two shits about being polite, but, well, he’d like to be Hange’s friend. Or maybe, something more.

“Great!” Hange smiled, as she took a seat across from him. Levi glanced at her beneath his fringe - of course, he shouldn’t have worried. Hange was a weirdo, she was never bothered by his rudeness.

“I just wanted to talk with you. I… well, you know about school dance this Friday? Oh, sorry!” Hange chuckled. “Of course, you know about it! That’s the only thing everyone talks about!”

Well… Levi certainly heard about school dance. Isabel mentioned it a few times, but neither of his friends was planning on going there. And there wasn’t any reason for Levi to attend. He would rather spend his Friday at home, playing video games with Farlan and Isabel.

“Anyways!” Hange continued. “Have you asked someone already?”

That took Levi by surprise. The question was so absurd that he looked at Hange closely - was she joking? But, strangely, she seemed to be serious. And she appeared to be somewhat nervous, which was even weirder. In all the time that he knew her, Hange was never nervous or shy. She was always unapologeticly bold. That was one of the reasons Levi liked her so.

So what was wrong now?

“Um, no?” Levi answered, feeling uneasy. For some strange reason, his pulse fastened.

“Oh, then have someone asked you?”

Levi eyed her carefully. Hange was fiddling with the straw of the juice box and she avoided looking him in the eyes. So she was nervous! But why? Levi glanced behind Hange’s shoulder. Mike was sitting on a table near them. He was grinning happily, and when Levi met his eyes - Mike winked at him.

What the fuck was going on?

He focused on Hange again. “No, no one asked me.”

Well, technically, it wasn’t true - a surprisingly large amount of girls had asked Levi to accompany them to the school dance. Levi had rejected them all. Unfortunately, the only person he wanted to go with was right now sitting in front of him.

“Great!” Hange beamed. “Oh, wait, no, that’s not what I meant!” she frantically waved her hands around. Levi hid a smile, amused by her gesticulations. “I’m sorry that no one asked you yet, but maybe…” she trailed off, turning to look behind her. Levi followed her gaze and saw that Mike gave her an encouraging smile, showing thumbs-up. She turned back and cleared his throat. She still avoided looking him in the eyes and there was a bright blush on her cheeks. “Maybe, you would like to go with me?”

Aaaaaaand he definitely misheard her last sentence. And even if he hadn’t, he probably didn’t understand it in the right way. Maybe, Hange was taking pity on him again? Just like that time, when she offered to become his partner in a science project?

“You want… to go dancing?”

“That was my initial offer, yes, but we can just hang out…” Hange twirled a stray lock of her hair, smiling shyly.

“You want to hang out…” Levi paused, not quite processing her words. Hange just couldn’t mean what he thought she meant. “With me?”

“Yeah…” Hange lowered her head, her shoulders sagging. “I thought you knew about this?”

He knew about what?

“…I mean the whole school probably knows, I’m not exactly subtle…”

The whole school knows about what?

“I was sure you knew about my crush on you…”

Wait, what? What the fuck? Hange liked him?

“You…. Have a crush on me?”

“Well, yeah?”

“Since when?”

“Um,” Hange rubbed her neck, her blush becoming even more apparent. “For about a year?”

“A year?!”

“I know it sounds pathetic, but yes? You don’t know how happy I was when you agreed to become my partner… Oh, jeez, this is so embarrassing,” Hange chuckled, and even in his daze-like state Levi felt how forced her laughter sounded. “You’re clearly not interested. I knew you weren’t, but that jerk Mike made me confess to you… I’m sorry!” she straightened out, grabbing her tray with food. She held it so tightly, her knuckles were white.

Levi stared at her hands, unblinking. He suddenly remembered that time in biology class when they were studying DNA. They needed to extract DNA from spinach, and upon seeing Levi’s clumsy movements with mortar and pestle Hange decided to help him. She laid her hands atop of his and gently guided them, showing him how to do it correctly. Her skin was soft and so warm. Levi was so flustered he felt like his heart was going to jump out of the ribcage.

And why was he remembering it now?

“Well, I should go, I don’t want to burden you…”

Hange almost got to her feet and left, but before she could do so, Levi grabbed her by the wrist.

“Wait!” He called out, surprised at how hoarse and desperate his voice was. But he couldn’t help it, he still couldn’t believe that Hange’s confession was real.

“You like me back?” he uttered quietly, looking up at Hange with hope.

“Ye— Wait!” Hange shrieked. Everyone around the cafeteria turned to look at them. If Levi could pay attention to something else except Hange’s adorably bewildered face, he’d even hear Isabel and Farlan high-fiving each other in the background.

Thankfully for his best friends though, he had a more pressing issue now.

“You like me back?” Hange didn’t lower her voice, and now every student in their school knew about Levi’s feelings for her.

His reputation of cold and aloof guy was destroyed forever.

He didn’t give a fuck.

“I do.”

His hand traveled down her arm, until it ceased her palm and held it in his.

At the sight of their joined hands, Hange’s lips curved into a bright smile.

“So you agree to go dancing with me?”

Levi shrugged, intertwining their fingers. “We can do that.”

“Great!” it seemed impossible, but the smile on Hange’s face became even happier.

Levi stared at her, feeling the same happiness inside him. Their bliss was cruelly interrupted by a loud ring that announced the start of a lesson.

“Shit, I’m late to English!” Hange shot to her feet. But before she ran away, she turned back to Levi. “Maybe, I can see you after school? We can walk home together?”

“Sounds good,” Levi nodded.

“Excellent!” Hange quickly leaned down and placed a kiss on Levi’s cheek.

Then, she was gone. Levi stared after her retreating figure, feeling a smile appear on his lips.

He probably, no, definitely looked like an idiot.

But for some reason, he didn’t give a fuck.

[daisychainsinthespring]

The Snowball Effect: Bucky Barnes and Darcy’s Metal Arm.

Darcy Elizabeth Lewis-Barnes had some of the best childhood friends a girl could ask for. Sure they were now scattered across the world, pursuing their dreams and getting into varying levels of trouble, but they had stuck closely to tradition. They were also part of the reason Darcy had met her husband, Bucky “Come on doll, we’re literally married now, please call me James” Barnes. To be fair, it had really started with a bear, themed after Bucky himself because why not model a bear after a WW2 hero? Stranger things had happened. At least that’s what her parents were convinced of. It would have been embarrassing to let them know the truth, that because her friends sent her explicit gifts inspired by the famous Sergeant Sexy, said Winter Sexbot had taken notice of her. It would be even more mortifying to tell them that finally, after much modelling (of the aforementioned gifts) and many dinner dates, he had put a ring on it. So yes, Darcy had some of the best friends a girl could ask for.

Although, to be fair, now that Darcy had the real deal (and how sweet was that?), she had been pretty sure it would all stop. How could her friends even hope to compete with the effects of his smolder (oh god, his smolder)? Darcy had clearly underestimated them, because it appeared they could (much to Bucky’s displeasure).

A few weeks previously, Darcy had been complaining of her husband being gone so often to one friend in particular, Emma (who currently worked as a marine biologist down in Sydney). For her part Emma had listened and very much been a metaphorical shoulder to cry on. But it wasn’t like she had a superhero husband herself, and so her advice wasn’t the most helpful (however well intentioned it was). Jane too (her work bestie and Science Overlord) was little help. After all James, while a super soldier who could carry her one armed over his shoulder, was not a God.

So Darcy suffered. She dealt with sleepless nights and pent up frustration while Bucky was away on missions. Which wasn’t so bad, as he had been kept to shorter jobs until he was deemed fit for long term, infiltration-esque missions. The only problem was that he had passed those examinations with flying colours and would now be going out into the field for months at a time, doing what Winter Soldiers do best (aside from giving the best back rubs known to man). Darcy had thought that was the end of it, her friends believed they had helped, and her husband didn’t know about her issues. Darcy really needed to learn that she was routinely wrong.

Bucky had continued to check the mail, it would be brought up to their apartment in the wee hours of the morning and without fail, he would look it all over in the kitchen. Darcy would usually get up some time in the middle of this procedure and go join him, sitting together at their little dining table while she waited for her coffee to kick in. On this particular morning though, their routine had changed. Darcy did not wake up (due to the intense nature of the previous night's activities), and Bucky went through his routine alone. It also happened that on this particular morning Darcy received a package from Emma.

When Darcy finally did come to, she left the bedroom and shuffled slowly down the hall (because ow, she was sore, not everyone had super healing James), finally coming to an abrupt stop upon reaching the kitchen. She didn’t know if she actually wanted to go in, based on her husband's stormy expression. In fact, her body seemed to notice that, based on his glare, this might not be the best place for her at all and had started to subconsciously back up. That was until she heard him growl (because apparently Sergeant Stone Age was a thing now) out a harsh, “Don’t. Come sit. We need to talk”.

Darcy Elizabeth Lewis-Barnes was a brave woman. She had tazed a god, regularly faced off against the famous wit of Tony Stark, and married The Goddamn Winter Soldier (trademark pending, courtesy of the previously mentioned Tony Stark). But the phrase “we need to talk” never boded well for anyone in a relationship, so she shakily went to her usual place across from him, and sat.

Bucky leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as his eyes narrowed, “Am I not enough for you?” he asked, sounding more broken and insecure than had probably been intended.

Darcy, to her credit, was actually able to form a coherent response as her panic gently subsided, “What? No. Honey you’re perfect. Literally cut from marble, the stuff of Greek myth perfect. Why would you even ask that?”.

Bucky nodded, seemingly satisfied with the voracity of whatever she had said (super spies and their super ways, she really shouldn’t dwell). Moving to reach under the table, he picked up the box by his feet, “Your friends sent you this,” he said as he opened it, revealing what appeared to be a miniature model of his metal arm, “and I thought you were hiding something from me”.

Darcy inspected the arm, not fully understanding what it was for a moment. When she finally remembered her conversation with Emma she barked out a laugh, “Oh honey no, this, you see, Emma and I were talking”, Bucky raised an eyebrow in response, prompting her to continue, “Right. You want more details, details are good. Communication is good. Okay, well we were talking right? And I mentioned how, with you being posted on longer assignments, I was feeling lonely. But I didn’t want to tell you, because superhero business is literal apocalypse aversion, and wife pleasing isn’t”. It would appear that it was now Bucky’s turn to look guilty. He ducked his head, folding his arms in his lap, and started shaking? No that wasn’t shame, that was laughter. The asshole found this funny!

“Oh dollface, you only had to tell me. I don’t have to go on those longer missions, I just thought you might want some time away from me.” he glanced up from under his eyelashes and damn her if she didn’t know exactly what he was doing with his puppy dog eyes and innocent expression.

“Honey, your missions are important. Please don’t go changing them on my account” she replied evenly (see Jane? She could be mature!).

James got a sour look on his face, startlingly similar to that one time she had made him try Toxic Waste, “But dollface, don’t you just want the real thing? I know my hand is much better than whatever this...thing...could do” he breathed out, looking at her as if to dare an objection.

It could never be said that Darcy Elizabeth Lewis-Barnes backed down from a challenge. Instead she straightened up, lifted her chin in utter defiance, and retorted, “Well dear, I don’t know. We haven’t tested this new one out yet. I’m sure it could work just as well as your arm, maybe even better. It is a new model after all”.

At his silence and blank stare she wondered if perhaps she had finally won an argument against him. Except, oh no, he looked predatory again, like a hunter ready to pounce on its prey, and given the lack of other people in the room that prey was her. Nothing good ever came from that look, she still had the lovebites from last week's battle of wills to prove it.

“Hmmm,” he mused, placing his hand on his chin, “what I’m hearing is that we need to test them both out, so I can prove you don’t need this...toy?” he asked, or rather, demanded. James didn’t actually wait for an answer as he dove across the table and swept his darling wife into his arms, walking back to their bedroom with Darcy held safely over his shoulder.

Darcy Elizabeth Lewis-Barnes knew when to pick her battles, and she also knew when to compromise. James didn’t stop going on longer missions, but he made her promise to get rid of the arm. And she did, get rid of it from the apartment that is. It wasn’t kept in their home anymore, instead resting in her drawer at work. If she took it back with her on particularly lonely nights when he was away, well it wasn’t like he needed to know.

[lightsupinthenorth]

Harringrove teachers AU part 2

Part 1

*

First of all, thank you very much to everyone who read, liked and/or reblogged the first part. Also, to the people who reacted or said nice things in the tags: you made my day with your sweet words <3

Tag list: @twoprettyboys, @inkedplume​, @marianaosborne​, @liglitterbug​, @hmg621 @spreckle @goldenweatherharringrove

If anyone wants to be added to or taken off the tag list for the future posts of this AU, let me know ;) 

*

Trying to avoid Steve Harrington soon proved to be impossible. He was pretty much everywhere. The fact he was close to Robin and Heather, who Billy himself had quickly befriended, didn’t help. Steve was always hanging with them in the teachers’ lounge before class and eating with them at the cafeteria at lunch. And, as if it weren’t awkward enough already, Steve and Billy almost never interacted directly. Apparently, Steve was tolerating Billy’s presence, but it didn’t go any further than that. Beside a half hearted “hello” when they saw each other, Steve barely ever said anything to him.

Billy tried to start conversations with him. Several times. But Steve always answered shortly, so Billy dropped it.

And he was angry about it.

Because, even though it pained it greatly to admit it, Billy would have loved for Steve and him to be friends.

Every single person in this school seemed to adore Steve, from the students to the staff.

At least a couple of Billy’s students arrived late to English whenever they had Math with Steve beforehand. They always served Billy the same excuse: they had a question of utmost important to ask “Mr. Harrington”, and it couldn’t have waited their next Math class. Billy didn’t buy the bullshit. Strangely, no one arrived late because they had something to discuss with the teacher when they had History with Murray or Science with Sam before English. Half the students had a crush on “Mr. Harrington”, and that was it.

The students regarding Steve like some kind of God was bad enough without the other teachers doing it too. Robin and Heather hugged him all the time, and Murray was constantly holding him hostage about some weird documentary he had watched or whatever theory he had last come up with, and the school counselor, Joyce, smiled extra warm every time she saw him. Even Hopper, the headmaster, would light up when he talked with Steve.

And Billy understood why. Because, while Steve didn’t lose any love on Billy, he was a ray of sunshine to everyone else. He gave his coworkers bright smiles, asked them how they were as if he genuinely cared (and he probably did) about what was going on in their lives, he gave his students encouragements when they came to the teachers’ lounge asking for him during recess (which happened far more often that it should have) because they had trouble with some mathematical concept that Billy didn’t give a damn about.

Steve was a saint with everlasting patience… Except when it came to Billy, apparently. And Billy was so envious he was nearly green with it.

He was also feeling self-conscious, wondering what Steve had seen in him to shun him even though his kindness knew no bound where anyone else was concerned. It couldn’t just be that Billy looked unprofessional, right? Some people that he’d seen Steve interact with enthusiastically had traits far more negative than that, at least in Billy’s book. It made no sense and frustrated him to no end.

He was starting to think that Steve’s dislike of him was just a visceral reaction and had no valid reason. Then, Steve had to go and do something confusing.

Billy was eating lunch in the cafeteria, waiting for Heather and Robin (and Steve, by extension) to join him, and Steve sat down in front of him. Billy immediately noticed the huge piece of chocolate cake on his tray.

“How come you got some cake? I saw someone take the last piece right in front of me.”

Billy was feeling absurdly sour over it. He could have really gone for something sweet.

“Oh… Maria saved it for me.” Steve admitted.

At least, he had the decency to look sheepish.

“Right…” Billy replied, pouting a little.

Of course, one of the lunch ladies had put a piece of cake aside just for the Lord and Savior of Hawkins High. Billy should have known.

“Do you want it?”

Billy blinked at Steve, answering a second too late to appear unsurprised by the question.

“Ugh… no, thank you.”

Had Steve really… offered to give him his dessert? Had he really been nice to Billy? Or had Billy just hallucinated the entire thing?

“You sure? I honestly wouldn’t mind…” Steve said, looking at his plate rather than at Billy.

He was just saying that to be polite, obviously. Billy wasn’t going to take his dessert away from him. It would only make Steve dislike him more.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Steve looked up from his plate and offered a small forced smile, before focusing on his food once again.

Things were already back to normal (ie. Steve not talking to him), then.

Heather and Robin arrived barely a minute later, saving them from the awkward silence that had taken place after their thirty-second conversation (if it could even be called that).

As soon as he had finished eating, Steve announced:

“I’ve gotta scoot. I have to prepare some stuff before my next class.”

He had already got up from his chair when he reached the end of his sentence.  

“You still on for tomorrow?” Robin asked.

“Sure thing. See you then!”

Steve took his tray and walked toward the exit in quick strides.

“What’s tomorrow?” Billy asked.

“We’re going to Benny’s coffee shop to grade some papers. You can come if you want.”

Billy had just played himself, hadn’t he? He had asked out of curiosity. He hadn’t been expecting to be invited along to whatever Robin and Steve had planned.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude”, was Billy’s last ditched effort to avoid what was sure to be an extremely awkward afternoon.

He could have come up with some fake excuse, but he was uncomfortable with the idea of lying to Robin. Because she’d been nice to him so far, and also because he was almost certain she would see right through him. She was far too observant for Billy’s good.

“Nonsense, you wouldn’t be intruding.” Robin rolled her eyes.

“Uh… okay, then. Thanks.”

Billy was about to eat his vanilla pudding, aka his sad non-chocolate cake dessert, when Max came up to their table and awkwardly said “hello” to Heather and Robin.

“Something you want?” Billy questioned, because she was obviously there to ask him something but wouldn’t spit it out.

“I’m going to Art club this afternoon. It ends at six… Will you come get me?”

Billy arched an eyebrow.

“We have an Art club?”

Also, since when was Max into art?

“Yeah… well actually today’s the first session… whatever. Will you drive me back home or not?”

“Can’t you skate?”

Now Billy was just being an asshole. Max had been skating to and from school most days since, according to her, it was “uncool” to be seen hanging with a teacher… which was stupid because 1. Billy was her brother, and 2. There was nothing uncool about him.

“I… ugh… well. I broke my skateboard.”

Max bit her lower lip.

Billy sighed.

“Again?”

“Yeah… sorry.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll drive you home.” Billy conceded, making a quick mental note to go buy Max a new skateboard. For the third time this year.

“Thanks. Later.”

She was gone as quickly as she had come, leaving Billy to deal with Robin and Heather’s puzzled faces.

“What was that?” Heather asked.

“Maxine Mayfield…?” Billy said, hoping to avoid this particular conversation.

The universe didn’t want him to avoid things that day, though.

“I know that, dumbass. You know each other?”

“Yeah, she’s my sister.”

“What?! How come we didn’t know that?”

“We don’t have the same name, whatever. It’s not that big a deal.” Billy mumbled.

“Yeah… but still… you could have told us.”

“Here honey, have some cake, it’s delicious.” Robin said, extending her fork to Heather.

Billy was thankful for the distraction. But he mainly focused on the cake, that he had only now taken notice of.

“Did Maria save that for you?” He asked.

Robin frowned.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Never mind.” Billy said.

-

Billy chose to stay at school after his last class and to wait in the teachers’ lounge until Art club was over and Max was ready to go home. He would have used the time to grade some papers, but he was supposed to do that tomorrow afternoon with Robin… and Steve. So he spent the hour and a half reading, instead.

He went to the classroom, which Max had given him the number of by text, five minutes before the session was supposed to end. He waited at least fifteen minutes before the first student left the room, greeting Billy on the way out.

Max came out last, along with El, the headmaster’s adopted daughter. She was one of Billy’s students. She had some troubles in English because, from what he had been told, she had only started learning the language recently. She was pretty quiet, maybe because of that exact reason, but she seemed like a very sweet girl. It would be good for Max to hang out with her. Billy didn’t dare ask because he didn’t want to put Max on the spot or make her feel bad, but he feared she had yet to make friends at school.

Billy’s thoughts were interrupted when none other than Steve Harrington emerged from the classroom right after the girls. Well, that explained the ten minutes Billy had had to wait.

Steve had paints all over his hands, and some on his shirt. There was even a little blue spot on his cheek. He looked painfully cute. Billy didn’t like it one bit.

“Billy?” Steve asked, sounding as shocked as Billy felt. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick my sister up.” He said, gesturing to Max. “You run the Art club?”

Billy didn’t mean to sound this disbelieving, but he was having a hard time reconciling Math teacher and art enthusiast. Was that judgmental? Was Billy a hypocrite?

“We don’t have a real art teacher so… uh… for lack of a better option, I’m taking care of it for the time being.”

“You’re great at it, Steve.” El said with a beaming smile.

Did all his students call him Steve or was it only the headmaster’s daughter? Billy was intrigued.

“Oh thanks, El. You’re too nice.”  

Billy almost said: “that’s the pot calling the kettle black”, but he thankfully kept his mouth shut.

Steve locked the classroom door and then turned back to them.  

“Well, girls, Billy, have a good weekend. See you on Monday.”

“Actually, you’ll be seeing me tomorrow.”

What had happened to Billy’s mouth staying shut?

“Oh… you’re coming? That’s… that’s great.” Steve stammered.

He smiled, but it was too late: Billy had seen the disappointment in his eyes.

“Yeah… great. Have a good evening, Steve.” He sounded cold, as he said it.

“Y-you too.”

Yes… The coffee date was going to go swimmingly.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 5: the Issue that Made Me Stop Reading MTMTE for Three Years

So, Megatron’s still getting space-bridged in the torso. That’s still happening. Nova Prime and Galvatron are coming through the rift, as Shockwave, who seems to have lost most of the mass in his lower body, thanks Megatron for his service.

Robert Gill’s on art for this issue alongside Ramondelli, and this is basically the only place we’ll be getting a taste of his style. Let’s see what he’s bringing to the table.

JESUS CHRIST.

WHY DO YOU HAVE GUMS.

Nightmare Murder Death Ravage, the Decepticons, and the Autobots just broke into Shockwave’s underground lair, and are ready to kick some ass. Shockwave was expecting this to happen, because he is a very smart boy, and also apparently genre savvy. Soundwave tackles Shockwave to the ground, and gets insulted for his troubles.

Sir, your eye's been turned into a silver-dollar pancake.

Shockwave calls in Metalhawk to handle these goons who’ve broken into his domicile, and Metalhawk, who legitimately looks like he’d snap in half if the breeze blew the wrong way, gets to work. Bumblebee tries to reason with the man- ripping off his whole-ass face to reveal... his face... in the process- but it’s useless. Metalhawk is just too het up about politics.

Over in another part of the room, Ironhide and a couple of buddies are going to lay the smackdown on Nova Prime and Galvatron, who are still coming out of the space bridge. They’ve been at this for like ten minutes now. Ironhide starts trying to shove Nova Prime back through the bridge, punching him in the face as he does. Megatron, at this point, has lost his arms. They’ve simply disappeared from the scene at hand.

The art isn’t great this issue, if you couldn’t already tell.

While this is happening, Skywarp is busy messing with the medical equipment Megatron’s hooked up to, and losing his corporeal form, because that death wave from a couple issues back did, in fact, hit him a little.

This is the Rattrap issue, by the way.

Over with Arcee, it would seem as though we’ve given up on even pretending to give a shit about size continuity, as Rumble and Blitzwing are the same height now. These three are on a mission to grab some of the resurrection ore and bring it back to base for the wounded, which is nice of them.

Shockwave shoots Soundwave, then calls Waspinator over, as Skywarp sticks his little hands into the ore that’s growing out of the walls. This makes him better, I guess? Because it’s resurrection ore? Even though he’s not dead? Also, his mouth looks like it’s full of wood pulp, and I don’t like it.

Bumblebee is trying to make a breakthrough with Metalhawk, but there’s no time for that, as Shockwave’s up to some weird nonsense involving Nova Prime.

The same could be said of this entire comic event.

Waspinator meets up with Shockwave and hands him his “staff”. I use quotations because it super isn’t a staff, but that’s what it’s called in-issue. What it actually is… well, it looks like a gun with a stinger for a barrel. I know he had a gun that looks very similar in Beast Wars, and he whipped it out on the regular, but I guess it’s a staff now? A staff that isn’t even remotely a staff? TFWiki makes the claim that it’s his stinger, which makes way more sense, but I don’t know that I’d want to hand the rump roast portion of my own ass to the purple science gremlin, even if it did mean cool stuff was going to happen.

Look, I don’t know, okay? I think someone fucked up the script.

Shockwave pops off his gun hand and attaches the “staff”, claiming to know how to handle the Titan way better than Waspinator ever could, because he’s just that smart. Then the Titan comes to life and bursts through the ground. Ironhide, who is still straddling Megatron as he punches Nova Prime into submission, gets his shop wrecked by a giant fist.

Meanwhile, in the Dead Universe, we’re finally getting back to that whole Nightbeat thing. Everyone is very surprised to find him here, and sort-of, maybe alive? Dead Universe complicates things.

Back in Spotlight: Hardhead, Hardhead and Nightbeat went on an adventure together to Gorlam Prime, trying to figure out what the hell had happened to Nightbeat’s brain in Spotlight: Nightbeat, where he was brainwashed into being a sleeper agent for Nova Prime, who was still in the Dead Universe at the time, and are you beginning to see why I sort of just gave up on following the plot and stopped reading? You have to have read essentially all of Phase 1 for any of this to make sense. Between that and the art, I was just sort of over the whole thing.

Anyway, Hardhead had to shoot Nightbeat in the head after the dude got his… brain taken over. There were some little tiny guys involved, Jhiaxus was there, it was weird. Because Nightbeat died at the edge of a portal to the Dead Universe, it took his body and dragged him inside, both trapping him and keeping him alive.

Rodimus isn’t too keen on this turn of events, and Hardhead feels really awkward about the whole thing. Nightbeat seems to be taking being an off-brand zombie in stride though, as he immediately makes himself a nuisance to Cyclonus, by way of cold-reading the guy. Because he’s a detective, he’s pretty good at it.

Nightbeat, you fool! It’ll be another 22 issues before Cyclonus is ready to even acknowledge his feelings!

Orion Pax breaks it up before we can see what Cyclonus considers a good punishment for putting him through the ordeal of being known, and we finally get back on track.

Back on Cybertron, I guess there’s been a bit of a time skip, as Megatron is back on his feet and carrying Ironhide to safety. Also, his mouth has gone AWOL. He tries to ask Bumblebee what the plan is, only to be interrupted by Galvatron ripping him in half.

God, I wish you hadn’t found your mouth, Megatron. This is awful.

Galvatron throws Megatron on the ground, and things just keep getting better, because now the Titan’s up on its feet, and Shockwave just told it to go ham.

Back in the Dead Universe, things are getting complicated, and I don’t think we’ll be getting answers any time soon.

Oh, well, I’m glad Nightbeat is as lost on this whole thing as I am.

Hardhead wants to know what was up with all that cryptic bullshit Nightbeat was spouting off earlier, and Nightbeat reveals even more details about Cyclonus- his forcefield generator was damaged when they got to the Dead Universe, and now he’s infected with… I dunno, bad vibes, I guess. That’s why he got sick a couple issues back, and also why the Cyberwraiths ran away from him; the Dead Universe is assimilating him back into its fold.

Even though it’s been established to want literally everything inside it dead.

Though Cyclonus did spend six million years hanging out in the Dead Universe, so maybe it’s fine, actually.

You know, truth be told, I’m not sure exactly how it works, and neither does anyone else, it would seem.

Anyway, Nightbeat tells the fellas to hold tight while he goes to grab somethingaaaaand he’s trapped them in a magic box.

Ugh, whatever, Orion.

Turns out getting shot didn’t fix Nightbeat’s sleeper agent issue, and now the boys are going to pay for being so chatty.

And that’s a series wrap on Team -Imus! Let’s give ‘em a hand, folks!

At this point, Nova Prime reveals that he did, in fact, get shoved back through the space bridge, and is still in the Dead Universe. Sucks to be him, I guess.

...Man, this Rattrap issue was great! Loved the part where he was in it.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Wait For It

Dean stalks out of the Impala agitatedly.

It's a sunny afternoon, and Sam's on the porch, coffee on the table next to him, flipping through his political science handbook. He looks up when he hears the car door being slammed, and his eyes follow Dean as he lands in the other chair around the table.

Then, without warning or premonition, Dean starts to talk.

He's got a new colleague.

Novak, he calls him. With gritted teeth, frowning eyebrows, and feeling.

They don't usually talk about people. So Sam listens.

Considering the amount of time Dean devotes talking about how Novak walked into his office, stride radiating importance as though he'd been summoned by Dean himself - well, he really must be a pain in the ass.

*

Over the next week, Sam's not always outside when Dean comes home from work. When he finally is, on a Thursday, Dean plants himself across him and starts speaking immediately.

Sam closes his book, purses his lips and pays attention.

Castiel, he's become.

Horrible, he's remained.

When Dean's done ranting, the sun's gone down. He gets up, hands on his hips. "He's just a jackass about everything, Sammy. Who's pretentious about eyecolor? Nobody's eyes can be that blue."

Sam nods sympathetically.

Dean goes away to make dinner, satisfied.

*

Midterms are round the corner.

Without really paying attention to it, Sam's stopped flipping through his handbook, and started highlighting in his textbook. He stays up late, and wakes up early, determinedly chipping away at the ginorminous block of syllabus, bit by bit.

He also stops being out on the porch when Dean comes back from work, and Dean tends to not barge into his bedroom to talk about the awful people he works with, so that's that.

But dinner isn't saved.

It's a simple conversation about mashed potatoes, and Dean goes off. "You won't believe how ridiculous Castiel is about honey, dude." Sam asks for a second helping, he also receives an anecdote on Castiel's ungrateful attitude towards Dean.

Sam doesn't even dare to mention his dislike for bacon once, for all the times Dean offers him it - because he's sure he'd get another indepth analysis of how Castiel hates Dean.

But when they settle down to watch Law & Order after dinner that night, Sam gets a chance to think. He wonders, not for the first time, how truly terrible Cas must be, for Dean to talk about him all the frigging time, and by the end of the episode, he's decided to be the pillar of support his brother needs, right now.

So when Dean starts, randomly, about how Castiel doesn't even appreciate good music, Sam whips out his puppy eyes, and listens to the entire tale.

*

Weeks pass.

His first paper is Tuesday, Ethics. Sam spends most hours of the day on his desk, holed up in his room.

It would be unfair to Dean to say he used up all the time Sam did spend around him, to talk about Cas.

(Which Castiel had ended up being, obviously.)

He only used like sixty percent of it.

*

"He's just...a weird, dorky little guy." Dean ends, biting his lip, eyes cast to the floor. His hands play with the hem of his jacket - he's still in work clothes.

Sam sighs.

"You know what?" Dean stands up. "I'm going to make coffee. Do I get you a mug or a thermos?"

"Thermos, please." Sam calls after him, gratefully.

"Okay. Carry on, bitch."

*

Sam feels guilty.

He's been so caught up in college, deadlines and exams, he's hardly talked to Dean except to thank him for all the coffee and sandwiches.

Dean may be a jerk all year, but he can get really supportive when Sam needs him to be.

Sam feels bad for not doing the same.

So when Dean puts a peanut butter sandwich in front of him, at one am while Sam panics through his last night revision, he looks up at his brother blankly and asks. "Hey, how's the guy who's been making your life hell? You stopped telling me about him."

"Oh, uh." Dean pauses.

Sam waits, but Dean takes too long, as if he's contemplating, so he takes a bite of his sandwich instead.

"He's not that bad." Dean finally lets out, exhaling into a hint of a smile.

Sam raises his eyebrows.

*

"To you kicking Stanford's ass!" Dean raises his bottle, perhaps the sixth toast of the night, giant grin plastered on his face.

"I keep telling you the results are a far way from being out yet - but hear, fucking hear!" Sam clinks his glass to Dean's beer, smile equally wide. He's finally done. There's finally no more papers, no more tests, no more revision.

He made it through.

"I'm proud of you." Dean mutters lazily, leaning back on the seat.

"Y-yeah. I know." Sam returns joyfully, neither of them really thinking about what they're saying. They've been drinking for hours. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Dean repeats, and proceeds to chuckle at his words. There's a moment of silence - well, as silent as it ever gets in the Roadhouse. Then Dean speaks up. "Guess what, Sammy?"

Sam doesn't even correct him.

"What?"

"I'm going to ask Cas out today." Dean declares, and Sam's eyebrows go up again, because while he's definitely known his brother's into guys for years, he hadn't expected Dean to come out like this.

But six beers in, and a declaration of pride out, Dean just ups and says it.

"I think I have a crush on him."

*

Many months go by. It's Sam's final year. And he's moving back onto campus.

"I'm going to miss you." Sam tells Dean, after they've finished lugging all of his bags into Jessica's room. Dean's half sitting on Baby's hood, and Sam has his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Shuddup." Dean throws back, and he definitely sounds weird. "I'm like, seven minutes away."

"Still." Sam grins, earnest.

"Yeah, alright. I'm not making you move out, okay?" Dean straightens, scoffing. "Have fun convincing Jessica to make you breakfast food at midnight."

"Yeah but," Sam laughs. "You live like, seven minutes away."

"Like hell I do. Get your ninety-percent peanut butter ass over here." Dean sighs, and Sam walks up to him, letting Dean pull him into a hug.

They hold onto each other, safety in the familiarity. Both of them know that they're probably not going to live together again. Sam has a plan after college, which doesn't involve moving back to Dean's. But they've shared a house for so long, it's going to feel weird.

It's going to be strange.

To lighten the moment, Sam whispers. "So, uh. Cas is moving in after I'm gone, isn't he?"

"He's probably already redecorating the place to get rid of your nerd cooties." Dean thumps him on the back, as they separate. There's a smile lingering on his face.

"What about your nerd cooties?" Sam bitchfaces at him.

"He likes those." Dean defends, crossing his arms on his chest.

"I bet he does." Sam snorts, and Dean reddens, realizing he just walked right into that, and then he just swears under his breath goodnaturedly as Sam walks into his new place.

*

Sam's phone rings.

It's only eight, on a Saturday, and Sam doesn't have to leave for office at nine like everyday, so he's sleeping in. Amelia's next to him, and she elbows him when the annoying ringtone wakes her before it wakes Sam.

"Sorry, babe." Sam tells her, kissing the top of her head distractedly, picking up the phone and sitting up when he hears Dean's voice.

It's trembling with excitement.

"Sam!" Dean gushes, and there's really no other word for it. There seems to be a commotion behind him, but the happy kind. Dean's tone is almost ecstatic.

"Dean?" Sam confirms, groggily.

"Dude, Cas just asked me to marry him!" Dean let out, almost breathless. "And I said yes! Of course, I said yes! We're getting married, Sammy!."

A smile grows on Sam's face. "Dude. You're getting married."

"I'm getting married!" Dean repeats, and proceeds to chuckle at something Cas is saying apparently, because then he tells Sam he's putting him on speaker.

"Hello, Sam." Cas greets him, sounding thoroughly overjoyed.

"Congratulations, Cas." Sam says, beaming now. He's so happy for them both. Cas is amazing, and he gets Dean, and Sam knows Dean loves him so much. "And, uh, Dean? You better fight a good fight for my Bestmanship, versus Castiel's brother, okay?"

Dean laughs, and it's the kind of rare excited laugh which makes everyone around smile too.

Cas answers, instead, his voice just as excited. "Don't worry, I'd rather have Gabriel be the caterer."

Sam chuckles. "Good."

"Give the phone back a minute, Cas," Dean says in the background, and then it's off-speaker, and just Dean, again. "You're not busy being important or anything, are you?"

Sam looks around him. "No?" Dean hesitates for a beat, until Sam catches the gist. "Dude! Of course I'm not busy. Tell me everything!" Dean lets out a sound which is definitely a squeal, though he'd never own up to it. "How did it happen? Why did it happen so early?"

Dean exhales, happily, and Sam can picture the smile on his face.

"Wait, is there a ring? Dean, I need you to show me the ring." Sam adds, just before Dean starts to tell Sam about it all. Just like he had, at the very beginning.

*

Six days to the wedding, Sam sits on the old porch chair, tapping his pen on his notebook.

He needs to write a speech.

There's so much to tell. The two of them are adorable, for god's sake. They tend to be cheesy even in front of him, and so unaware of it - Sam wonders if they turn into mushy marshmallows when his back is turned.

Maybe he should include that in his speech. "Mushy Marshmallows" is a cute alliteration. Huh.

After an entire evening of thinking, he pushes himself off his seat to get a cup of coffee. (He'd try to convince Dean to make some, but him and Cas have an appointment with a florist for the wedding.)

In any case, Sam may not be done with the speech entirely, but he figures he's earned a break. You see, he's already got an unbelievably great title. He can work from there.

"How Dean Is The Worst Judge Of People."

He has a good first line, too. "Exhibit A: Novak-slash-Castiel-slash-Cas."

[pinktwingirl]

Rats, Squirrels, and Unlikely Friends

A quick oneshot in which Squirrel Girl travels to the DC universe and meets Ratcatcher II. Enjoy! :) @oh-its-jennyyy

Doreen knew she wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Stark Industries’ prototype wormhole generator was strictly off-limits to anyone but authorized staff, and that certainly did not include Doreen. She was a new hire, fresh out of college. She didn’t belong in top-secret labs, tampering with cutting-edge technology that could alter the fabric of space and time as we knew it. And yet, there she was, hacking into the “supposedly” un-hackable security system to check it out when no one was working on it. (She was slightly more skilled in the firewall breaching and data encryption area than her supervisors were aware.)

Every cell in her body screamed at her to stop. God, what was she thinking?! If anyone caught a glimpse of her doing this, she’d be fired on the spot. But whether it was her unending curiosity or her stubbornness to blame, she kept going. She just couldn’t help it; the whole concept of wormholes and interdimensional travel was so cool! She only wanted to see what the thing could do and how far they’d come... and hey, maybe if there were any areas for improvements that she could offer ideas on-

The device, a tall, silver arch, suddenly illuminated in a bright white haze, with its center forming some sort of black void. She must have somehow turned it on by accident.

“Ohhhh shit...” she grumbled.  

Frantically scrambling around to find an off-switch, Doreen quickly realized that there wasn’t one. In fact, there were no buttons or cord connectors on the device at all. Was it motion activated? Voice activated? Maybe thermally activated from body heat?

There was no time to find out. Before she could move or do anything, she felt her body pulled into the void, and everything went dark.

                                                       …

It took Doreen a while to fully process her surroundings when she regained consciousness. A bright light, that she assumed was the sun – or, at least, a sun, given that she was in a new universe – was shining in her eyes, and she had to blink a few times for her vision to adjust. She could feel hard gravel pressing on her protesting back, which begged her to sit up. When she did, she came face-to-face with a young woman posed in a defensive stance, ready to strike.  

Doreen took a moment to size up her potential assailant. The woman had a small stature, much like her, with short, dark hair, a dirty black coat, and, most bafflingly of all, a rat sitting on her shoulder, which didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.  

“Who are you?” the woman demanded. She certainly had a bit of an accent, although Doreen couldn’t quite place what it was. Not that it would really matter, though; countries could be entirely different in this world, assuming that this even was another Earth in the first place.

Well, at least people in this universe could still speak English. That would make communication easy.

“Umm...” Doreen got out. “Would you believe me if I said I was from another universe?”

Before the woman could respond, they both jumped when they heard loud squeaking behind them. Doreen was shocked to see her three faithful companions, Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann, bounding to her side.

“Wh-? What are you three doing here?! Did you follow me?” Tippy-Toe nodded and gave an enthusiastic chirp as Doreen stroked her back. “Oh, you silly squirrels... You know you’re not supposed to come to work with me...”

The dark-haired woman, much to Doreen’s surprise, was looking at her not with disgust or judgment, but instead wide-eyed wonder and fascination.

“Are these your... friends?”

“Huh? Oh! I guess it would be rude to skip introductions. These are my pet squirrels, Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann.” Doreen stuck out her hand. “I’m Doreen Green.”

Reaching her hand out as well, the dark-haired woman tentatively shook it, apparently having decided that Doreen wasn’t a threat. “Cleo Cazo. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too! So, um... yeah... I guess you’re... wondering where I came from?”  

Cleo nodded.

“Well, so... the company I work for kind of built a wormhole generator that could transport people to alternate universes. And... I guess this place is one of them. Although, I actually wasn’t supposed to be messing with it. This was all a huge accident.” After a moment, she gave Cleo a sheepish grin. “I guess that must all be hard for you to believe, though...”

The rat on Cleo’s shoulder squeaked something into her ear, and she smiled. “No, it’s okay. Sebastian says you are telling the truth. He can sense that you are an honest and kind person!” The rat suddenly scurried to a patch of grass nearby to chew a dandelion off its stem and present it to Doreen. “Aww, look! He is offering you a flower as a token of his goodwill!”

Doreen giggled as she took the flower and put it in her hair. “Thank you, Sebastian! Would you like an almond?” Sebastian squeaked happily as she reached into her pocket and handed him his gift.

As Doreen stood up, Cleo was surprised to see a long, bushy tail extending from her backside. “Forgive me if this is a rude question, but... do all people in your universe have tails?”

“Oh, no. I’m actually the only one. I was born with altered DNA that made me part squirrel. They call me a mutant because of that. Do you have mutants here?”

Cleo shook her head. “I do not think so. I have heard of people born with altered DNA, but I have never heard the word ‘mutant’ used to describe them. Your powers are so cool, though! I wish I were part rat. But I don’t have any rat blood in me. I just communicate with them and tell them what to do.”

“That’s still pretty impressive! How do you do it?”

Cleo showed Doreen her rat-guiding light. “With this. My papa taught me how. He was the original Ratcatcher. When he passed away, I became his successor: Ratcatcher II.”

“That’s amazing!” Doreen smiled at Sebastian. “Do you mind if I pet him?”

“Not at all! Can I pet your squirrels?”

“Sure!”

The girls swapped rodents, with Cleo stroking Monkey Joe, Tippy-Toe, and Mr. Liebermann and Doreen scratching the head of a very happy Sebastian. After a moment of silent contemplation, Doreen spoke up again.  

“I’ve never... met anybody like me. I mean... someone who talks to small rodents. It’s a really underrated ability!”

“I know, right? Everyone always thinks I am weird or gross.”

“You know, I never got why people hate rats so much. They’re so cute and fluffy! I mean, sure, they eat garbage, but it’s not their fault! They don’t have anything else to eat! What else are they supposed to do?”

“That’s what I keep saying!”

“So... are countries still the same in this universe? Is this the U.S.?”

“Yes, we have a United States. And a Portugal. That’s where I am from. Does your universe have a Portugal?”

“Yep! It sounds like we have all the same countries! That’s a relief.”

“But this is not American soil. We are in the Hispanic nation of Corto Maltese.”

“Oh... I guess it’s a good thing I ran into you, then, instead of the natives. I don’t speak a lick of Spanish.”

“Neither do I. I don’t live here.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Cleo pointed to what looked like the ruins of a tall building off in the distance. “Cleaning up that. The ruins of Jotunheim.”

“Jotunheim? You mean, like, the place where frost giants live?”

“What are ‘frost giants?’”

“Oh... you... don’t have those here? I have a friend who’s a frost giant, so I thought that’s what you were talking about.”

“Jotunheim was once a research laboratory. They used a giant alien starfish to conduct experiments with the creature’s mind control abilities. Many people died in the process, and the American government was behind all of it.”

“That’s horrible!”

“The government sent me with a team to cover it up. But when the monster got loose, we destroyed it instead. Now, we have to clean up the damage in the city. It is not as glamorous as saving the world, but no job is too menial for the Suicide Squad.”

“The ‘Suicide Squad?’ That’s what you guys call yourselves? That’s a pretty bleak name. See, I’m part of a team called The Avengers. Now, that’s a much better name."

“Well, it’s only a nickname. Our official codename is Task Force X.”

“You know, why does the letter X always make everything sound, like, ten times cooler? Like, ‘Task Force Y’ or ‘Task Force W’ just wouldn’t sound right, would it?”

Cleo giggled. “I guess not.” She handed the squirrels back to Doreen as Sebastian happily bounded back to her side.

“Well, this has been a real treat, but I should probably get back now,” Doreen laughed. “I don’t want to get-” She froze as she looked behind her, realizing that there was no wormhole device. “Oh... I... I don’t know how to get back... Oh no, this is bad...”

Cleo put a hand on her shoulder before she could start to panic. “Don’t worry! I’m sure my friends can help you figure something out! Let’s get you back to my teammates.”

The two walked down several blocks, where a tall man with heavy-duty armor and a walking shark were waiting for them. Cleo grinned at Doreen.

“Is seeing a giant shark with legs strange in your world?”

“Well, I’m friends with a talking tree and racoon, so, not really, to be honest.”

The tall man gave Doreen a weird look. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her tail or her last rather bizarre-sounding remark. Maybe both.  

“Who is this?” he asked.

Doreen cheerfully stuck out her hand. “My name’s Doreen Green, also known as Squirrel Girl! I’m from another universe!” She paused. “It’s kind of a long story. I also need help getting back home now.”

The tall man tentatively shook her hand. “Robert DuBois. Or Bloodsport. I guess we can get you down to the science people if you really want to come with us.”

Doreen took a moment to peer at him. “You know, it’s weird... You look just like this guy one of my friends used to know. Would you happen to be related to a guy called Heimdall at all? Guardian of Asgard? Watchman of the Gods? Is that ringing any bells?”

After staring blankly at her for a moment, Bloodsport turned to Cleo. “Is this girl on drugs?”

“Excuse me! I most certainly am not!” Doreen protested. “It’s strictly against company protocol to be under the influence of any substances during work hours! And I’m technically still working!”

The shark suddenly pointed at the squirrels. “Nom nom!”

Cleo sighed. “No, Nanaue, that’s not nom nom. Squirrels are friends. Just like rats.” She patted the shark’s back as he gave a dejected slump. “We’ll get you food when you get back.”

Out of nowhere, Doreen suddenly felt a tingling sensation in her body. Moving of their own will, her legs suddenly starting stumbling backwards. Her squirrels instantly jumped on her shoulder, ready to protect their human from any harm.

“Hey, where are you going?” Bloodsport called.

“I...” Doreen got out. “I think the device is pulling me back!”

“You’re leaving now?!” Cleo shouted.

“I can’t stop it!” Doreen grabbed onto Cleo’s hand in a last-ditch moment of desperation. “Cleo! Take good care of Sebastian! And don’t ever let anyone underestimate you! Trust me, I learned the hard way! People think we’re weak because they don’t understand us... But you’re stronger than you th-”

Before she could finish, she was gone.

                                                           …

Doreen collapsed on the ground, her heart racing at the familiar tile patterns. She knew this laboratory! She knew this building! She was back!

Her excitement quickly faded when she realized that return would mean consequences. Yep, she was definitely fired...

Except... there was still no one in the lab. No one had come back. Doreen checked the time. 2:15. She’d only been gone for 5 minutes! She looked around in awe at the silent room. All she would have to do now was sneak out. Had she really gotten away with it?

Slipping out the door and quietly returning to her workstation, she did her best to ignore her coworker’s questions about why she took a fairly lengthy bathroom break and whether she knew what they were supposed to be doing, instead giving them quick, uninvolved answers. Her mind was on Cleo and that strange, strange universe. It was so different, and yet... so similar to hers. The multiverse was certainly big and daunting, but no matter what people found in it in the future, no matter what research lied ahead, she knew it would always give her one source of comfort:

She’d found a friend that was just like her.

[365days365movies]

May 4, 2021: The Host (2006) (Recap)

NO NOT THAT ONE

Stephanie Meyer goddamn sucks. I realize that I’m not exactly the first person to say that, but she’s terrible. Not only is she not a good writer, but she also has some very disparaging views about science fiction and its fans, which led her to make her own science fiction book and film. ANd yeah...it’s terrible! No surprise there.

So, no, not the 2013 critical and commercial flop known as The Host. No, this post is about 2006′s The Host, AKA Gwoemul, AKA 괴물. I haven’t ventured to far into the world of Korean cinema, and with this film, my repertoire includes only the films of director Bong Joon-Ho. And if that name sounds familiar...it should.

Bong Joon-ho DESERVEDLY made headlines last year when his film became the first non-English language film to win for Best Picture, and the first time Asian writers won for best screenplay! His Oscar speech in accepting best director is genuinely one of the best and most sincere speeches I’ve ever heard from a director, and I love the dude.

Oh, and if you’re wondering which film it was, then, like me, you also really need to watch Parasite. And because I’m terrified of spoilers, I’m not gonna look for GIFs of that movie. Instead, I’ll put in a GIF of one of my favorite sci-fi films, and the only other Bong Joon-ho film I’ve seen.

God, I love Snowpiercer. And if this is anything like that, I’m probably going to love this movie. Now, I don’t really know much about this film, other than the fact that it’s a monster film. And if there’s any science-fiction subgenre more iconic than monster films, I don’t know it. Well...OK, aliens, robots, and more, but monster films are still a big part of the genre. But where does that begin? Is it here?

Definitely an argument you can make, since Frankenstein’s Monster is a creation of science gone wrong, from the book to the movie. Fun fact, Mary Shelley based it on a real-world experiment by Italian physiologist Giovanni Aldini, who used a corpse to illustrate the connection between electricity and muscles. Neat, huh? So, yeah, that’s a solid launching point.

But that’s more of a horror story. What about something a little more monster-y? Well, from the UK to Japan we go!

OHHHHHH YEAH, THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF

Toho’s 1954 film Gojira is one of the most classic monster films ever made, and singlehandedly launched the kaiju genre in Japan. And it’s really well-known that it was made as a response to post-World War II tensions about nuclear warfare. Which, in Japan, is kind of understandable, no? But nothing demonstrated the destructive power of science more than that moment in history. 

So, Godzilla arrives. And the US also makes more monster movies, most of which take place in contemporary settings, making many of them lo-fi sci-fi. Now, some dipped into horror or fantasy, but the science fiction roots were there. Which eventually would bring us full circle to films where monsters were made and go loose. You know, like this:

It’s a franchise that defines the ‘90s, and lab-grown monster movies exploded around that time as well. At the same time, environmental concerns REALLY started to build by this point, and those concerns leaked profusely into film all over the world. And by the time we get to 2006...well, let’s get into it, huh?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

In a mortuary, a U.S. military doctor (Scott Wilson) instructs his assistant (Brian Lee) to dump bottles of formaldehyde down the drain of the facility, which goes directly into the Han River. The assistant protests, but the doctor insists, despite the risk of polluting the river. AAAAAmericans.

In the river about two years later, two fisherman see something strange looking in the river. Then, four years later, in 2006, a suicidal man is about to jump into the river, when he sees something dark in the water below.

Later that year, we meet Park Hee-bong (Byun Hee-Bong) and his son Park Gang-du (Song Kang-ho), who run a food truck and snack bar near the river. Gang-du’s not exactly a hard worker, to his father’s chagrin. His daughter, Hyun-seo (Go Ah-sung), is a student who comes home from school, where her drunken uncle Nam-il (Park Hae-il) comes to her chagrin. She and her father watch TV, where his sister Nam-joo (Bar Doona) can be seen competing in archery.

As he’s bringing food out to customers, he joins them in observing something strange and massive hanging off of the bridge. And at this point, I would be running the fuck away. Literally, the news just said that there was a body found with the legs missing, and these people are throing cans at it after it plunges into the water. One girl asks if it’s a dolphin. Mother...HAVE YOU SEEN A DOLPHIN BEFORE?

NOT THIS

Yeah, this thing just comes bounding along the shore, slapping people into the water with its tail, and batting aside others. Doesn’t look like its actively killing anybody yet, but it’s definitely hurting people at least. That is, until it goes into a trailer where a bunch of people have gathered, and appears to eat a bunch of them. So, yeah, dangerous.

Gang-du, to his infinite credit, actually attempts to confront and hurt the creature, with the help of Donald White (David Joseph Anselmo). And it works, but at the cost of the creature aggro-ing onto him. Back at the snack truck, his sister’s lost the title, much to the chagrin of Gang-du’s daughter and father. She goes outside in frustration, only to be thrown into the midst of the chaos with her dad. He grabs a girls hand in the chaos, only to find that it’s a different child entirely. And...unfortunately...

The creature grabs her with its tail, and leaps back into the river, disappearing. Fuck. Poor Hyun-seo, and poor Gang-du. Gang-du IMMEDIATELY goes to get her back, jumping into the river, but the creature takes her across to an island, out of reach. That night, an impromptu funeral is held for the victims, at which Hyun-seo is being honored as well. There, both Gang-du’s sister and brother also attend, and all four of the break down dramatically and publicly.

Nam-il blames his brother for letting her die, which is unfair, but understandable. The family eventually calms down and discusses the circumstances of Hyun-Seo’s birth and death, both of which were accidental. As they do, a man in a protective suit comes out, and asks who was at the river incident. Nam-il protests this, and asks what’s going on. The man doesn’t explain, and the room is instead gassed, as everyone is ushered towards the entrance.

In the process, Gang-du (stupidly) reveals that he was hit by some blood splatter. He’s immediately stuffed in a bag and kidnapped by the authorities. Meanwhile, the news reveals that the creature is carrying a virus, and anyone who has been in contact with it has been infected. Because of this, the entire family is taken to a quarantine hospital, which oddly has very few actual quarantine procedures in place. And additionally, Gang-du is feeling a bit itchy.

That night, in the hospital, Gang-du gets a call on his cell phone! It’s Hyun-seo! She’s alive! And she’s trapped, in a sewer somewhere near the river. Meanwhile, a group of men in protectve suits are outside patrolling the river. One man finds money on the side of the road, and goes to pick it up, only for the men to be attacked by the creature. But it’s then that we discover that the creature is not killing or eating people, but simply taking them own to its lair. Also in said lair is Hyun-seo, trapped and with a now dead phone.

The next day, the family tries to get an officer to look into the call, only for the officer to be, frankly, an absolute piece of shit to this grieving family. Gang-du tries to explain, and his explanation is ENTIRELY RATIONAL, but the officer and doctors are absolutely terrible about it.

Because nobody’s listening, the family manages to escape from the hospital in order to try and save Hyun-Seo, and they hop into a van, taking it and running. This is a good place to mention that, despite this being a monster movie, it's also...weirly funny sometimes. Like, that whole scene is pretty great. After bartering with a group of gangsters for supplies (and after Hee-bong basically gives away all of his credit cards), the group manages to get a map and a new car. But they pretty quickly get stopped at a checkpoint into the city, and are nearly caught, but manage to escape and get to the riverfront. Once there, they begin searching the sewers to find Hyun-seo. And I gotta say; this may be an extremely dysfunctional family, but they’re a devoted family all the same.

Of course, that eventually gives way to arguments within the sewer itself, but that’s interrupted by a noise heard somewhere around them. They fire at it, using weapons obtained from the gangster but conclude that it was nothing. What it actually is is two brothers, older Se-jin (Lee Jae-eung) and younger Se-joo (Lee Dong-ho), homeless kids who are foraging the sewers in the abandoned city. But, of course, they eventually run into the creature, which attacks them. Meanwhile, an asleep Hyun-Seo dreams of dinner with her family, only to be woken up by the arrival of the creature, who deposits the bodies of the two boys in the sewer with her. Se-joo has survived, but Se-jin hasn’t, sadly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family is gathered at their snack bar for the night, and prepares to set out or the morning. The to younger siblings appear to not give a single shit about Gang-du, but Hee-bong attempts to set them straight, talking about how he blames himself for the way Gang-du is now. However, the two just fall asleep during his speech. Poor Hee-bong. Also, he can apparently identify Gang-du’s health condition based on his farts because they spend so much time together, it’s dumb, and funny.

Also, poor the rest of them, because Gang-du wakes up to see the creature just waiting outside, watching them. Hee-bong fires at it, but the creature attacks and knocks over the bar. However, Hee-bong manages to hit it directly in the head, knocking it off, but not killing it. The family goes out to finish the job, but it runs away before they can kill it. They run after it, and are almost completely out of bullets. Hee-bong volunteers to go after it himself, but in the process...

Hee-bong doesn’t make it. The creature kills him, and the commotion attracts the military to their location. Gang-du is again captured, while Nam-il and Nam-joo escape, only to later be separated regardless. Meanwhile, the virus kills Donald White, the sergeant from earlier, and it continues to spread across Korea. To kill the creature, the government plans to release a chemical into the river called Agent Yellow, which feels...controversial.

Nam-il meats a colleague, “Fat Guevara” (Yam Pil-sung), who is easily able to provide a location for Hyun-seo using the number, which the cop earlier insisted was nearly impossible to do. Plus, both the sergeant and Gang-du encountered the creature together, and he seems to be just fine. Which probably means that something very wrong is happening now. Even worse, though, is the fact that Guevara’s appeared to trap Nam-il, as a massive reward is sought for his arrest. A gang of people surround hi, with the plan to capture him, but he VERY cleverly escapes by causing an electrical short, and AFTER having found Hyun-seo’s location! Nice, man! He takes off, now knowing exactly where his niece is.

Nam-joo, meanwhile, is literally living inside of the snack bar, and she gets a text from Nam-il with her location. He tags out, and she tags in, running to the location where the call came from. But she immediately runs into the creature, which knocks her down and unconscious. She manages to call Gang-du, who is currently about to be sedated. Now knowing where his daughter is, he tries to escape, only to be tackled by the doctors. He tells them where she is, but they don’t appear to listen. More importantly, the anesthetic doesn’t appear to work, much to the confusion of the doctors. Something is verrrrrrrry wrong here.

An American doctor (Paul Lazar) comes, and asks what’s wrong, and he tells him exactly what’s wrong. However, despite his words SEEMING to be heard, they once again call him crazy and delusional, and decide to give him a lobotomy to isolate the virus once and for all, like FUCKING ASSHOLES. Turns out that the virus? Yeah, it doesn’t exist whatsoever! It doesn’t exist even a little bit! Which means that this entire thing is a wild goddamn goose chase for a virus that DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST!!!

And the best thing is that Gang-du, despite not actually knowing English, still understands the words “no virus”, and know he fucking knows! However, because he knows, they now have to give him a lobotomy. Fuck me, man. Panicking, he cries for them to stop, and cries for his daughter, who’s still alive in the sewer.

Speaking of, Hyun-seo and Se-joo are bonding in the sewer, as they work to make a rope from things they find there. But in the process, they’re attacked by the creature, who know is actively eating the bodies, and presumably other people. Whoof. They manage to escape, but barely.

Back with Gang-du, who’s just gone through the lobotomy, which...hasn’t worked at all. Holy SHIT. Not sure what the hel is UP with this dude, but that’s a question in and of itself. He escapes by taking a nurse hostage, threatening them with a syringe of his blood, full of a virus that doesn’t exist!

Nam-il wakes up at the same time, not accompanied by a homeless man (Yoon Je-moon), who agrees to take him to the bridge to find Hyun-seo. In the sewer, the two kids have survived, and the creature appears to be asleep. Like a GODDAMN BOSS, she runs up the creatures back, and jumps onto a rope that she had made, and that was hanging far out of her reach. Unfortunately...the creature catches her with its tail. Fuck. It sets her down, and...lets her go? But as soon as she runs, it attacks bother her and Se-joo.

Just then, Gang-du gets to the lair, and uses the rope to climb down. Below him is a pile of bones, and no kids to be seen. The creature goes by, and Hyun-seo’s hand is dangling out of its mouth. And once again by coincidence, that’s when Nam-joo wakes up and reunites with her brother. The creature runs to the waterfront, only to be greeted by...a crowd? They’re gathered there to protest the release of the dangerous chemical into the river.

It all collides at once. The creature swims towards the crowd, Gang-du runs towards the creature, Agent Yellow is released over them both, causing the creature to faint. Gan-du runs up and grabs the bodies of his daughter and See-joo from its mouth, apparently too fucking late. Shit, man. This would’ve been avoided if they just HELPED him. Fuck. He carries her body away as more chemical is released onto the flailing creature, and the chemical causes everyone else in the area to violently hemorrhage as well. Meanwhile, Nam-il and Nam-joo arrive to see their deceased niece, grieving all over again. It’s...fuck, man, it sucks.

And Gang-du is fucking PISSED NOW. He grabs a street sign and attacks the injured creature, fueled by pure rage. Nam-il joins in with Molotov cocktails as it runs away. The homeless man douses it with gasoline, and that makes it easier for Nam-il to set it on fire...until he drops the bottle. And then, Nam-joo uses it to light an arrow on fire, hitting the creature with it, and setting it ablaze. It runs to the water, only for Gang-du to stab it through the head with the street sign, finally killing it in revenge for his father and his daughter. Fucking bad-ASS. And also quite tragic, given the circumstances.

And despite the tragedy, there is one happy circumstance: Se-joo lives! In fact, Hyun-seo died saving his life, like the real goddamn hero of this story that she is. Fuck. That’s terrible, but I’m happy that her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. From here, we fast-forward to the winter, where a clean-shaven and well-kept Gang-du is is now caring for Se-joo. The news is on in the background, but the two ignore it, happily eating together after the ordeal they’ve been through.

Whoof. That’s The Host, or Gwoemul! And yeah, that’s one hell of a movie, I tell you what. For a monster movie, it’s quite dramatic, and they don’t try to humanize the monster AT ALL. And honestly, I really like it! A Pyrrhic victory at the end, but nothing wrong with that! I’ll elaorate a bit in the review! See you there!

[lunetheaveragefan]

one day...

Hi! This is the beginning of the first fanfiction that I’m posting here! I hope people like it!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: Some cursing and quick mentions of anxiety/a panic attack. If you notice anything else, let me know!

Word Count: 1,691

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CHAPTER ONE

Virgil Tempest is having a bad day.

First of all, he’d woken up late. 30 minutes late, to be exact. That left him only 10 to get ready for school, so he didn’t have time to put on his foundation. Now, the feature he hated most about himself — his freckles — would be visible for all to see. 

Secondly, his favorite hoodie was in the wash, so he had to wear his old, plain black one that he hadn’t worn since at least seventh grade. It was buried in the way back of his closet, wedged between a leather jacket he’d completely forgotten he owned and the suit he had only worn once, at a funeral for some distantly related family member.

Thirdly, he forgot his headphones at home in his rush, and so now he had to suffer the whole day, unable to block out the noise of his idiotic school. He thought he had a spare pair in his backpack, but when he looked once he got to school, there weren’t any in sight. 

Earlier, he thought it couldn’t get any worse, but he is sure now that it was just building up to this.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Roman Princeford apologizes loudly from above him. To say Virgil dislikes Roman would be an understatement. Roman has a ridiculously pompous name and a personality to match. The star theater kid, popular king of the school, and friend to everyone. Well, everyone except for Virgil. Even Virgil’s only friend, Logan Wise, a class-A nerd, likes Roman. 

Needless to say, Virgil doesn’t see Roman’s appeal. Maybe, if Roman could stand to be a whole lot less arrogant, say, every day, or if he stopped being so excessively extra, or if he just took the time to do something other than theater and bragging, he might be tolerable. The key word there being ‘might.’

“It’s fine,” Virgil mumbles from the floor, where he had landed after Roman knocked into him while Virgil was walking. Roman had been talking to his usual group of fans, taking up most of the hallway since pretty much everyone wanted to listen to him, and had thrown out an arm in one of his usual grand gestures and pushed Virgil right over. He’d landed on the floor, books strewn everywhere, being watched by the whole hallway. Of course, it’s more crowded than usual thanks to the tall tale Roman was describing that apparently no one could afford to miss out on. It didn’t help that Roman had decided to make a big deal out of it, either. 

Wishing this terrible day could just end already, Virgil shifts to a crouch and begins to gather his books. To his utter dismay, Roman bends down to help him. Annoyed as he is, Virgil can’t get up the courage to tell the other boy to leave him alone. Even so, the work goes quicker with the other boy helping, and, as much as he would hate to ever admit it, Virgil appreciates it. 

They both reach for the last book on the ground at the same time, and their hands knock into each other. 

“S-Sorry,” Roman says, and Virgil thinks he hears a stutter in his voice. Roman Princeford, the theater prodigy who never messes up a line, stuttering? But when Virgil looks up at Roman, there’s a blush working its way across the other boy’s tan cheeks. Strange. This close, Virgil can see the bluish specks in the other boy’s green eyes. 

Roman must feel Virgil’s eyes on him, because he looks back at him, handing him his last book. Dread settles in Virgil’s stomach as he realizes that Roman must be able to see his freckles. Just as he remembers, Roman’s eyes drop to the other’s nose, where the freckles are the most noticeable. Shit, Virgil curses. 

Yanking the book away from Roman, Virgil turns away and stands up, and Roman soon follows suit. There’s a redness on both of their faces now, but on Virgil’s pale skin, it’s much more visible. How long was I staring at his eyes? He shakes his head, letting his dyed-purple bangs fall over his face. 

Resituating his books in his arms and weaving his way through the people, he starts the walk to his next class, art.

“Have a nice day!” Roman calls from behind him. Virgil sighs and pulls up his hood, wishing now more than ever that he had his headphones.

“Whatever,” he mutters, but the whole next period, all he can think about is Roman Princeford’s bright green eyes, tan skin, and wavy blond hair. 

I must be going crazy, he decides. I mean, I know I’m gay, but gay for Roman Princeford, of all people? I don’t know him at all, and from what I’ve heard — and experienced — he’s not someone I would ever get along with. There’s no way I could possibly have a crush on him. 

Right?

------------------

At lunch, Virgil drops down in the seat next to Logan with a thud. 

“Greetings,” Logan states professionally. “Am I misperceiving your body language and demeanor or was your day thus far below average in terms of relative happiness and unpleasantly abnormal?” Virgil looks at him around his bangs, puzzled.

“What?” Is he even speaking English? Virgil wonders.

“Pardon me, I forget that you are intellectually compromised when it comes to my copious vocabulary. Let me rephrase,” Logan proclaims. He clears his throat and lays his hands on the table, his fingers pressed together to form triangle-like shapes. “Did your day suck or are you just being your—” Logan waves a hand at Virgil’s body— “regular grumpy asshole self?”

Virgil is taken aback for a second before he rolls his eyes. 

“Roman fucking Princeford bumped into me in the hallway, and then had the nerve to say, ‘Have a nice day!’ afterwards in that disgustingly cheery voice of his!” Virgil complains, poking at his food. He doesn’t really intend on eating any of it; the school’s food is terrible, and besides, he isn’t too hungry anyway. He has some crackers in his bag if he really needs something to eat later.

“I do not understand why you antagonize him so often, but I suppose if you refuse to change your opinions of him, there isn’t much I can do on the matter.” Logan pauses, and Virgil has a feeling he knows what’s coming next: one of Logan’s rare discussions of emotions. “But you shouldn’t just assume that everyone is out to hurt you, Virgil.”

Yup, there it is. Virgil likes Logan’s company because he isn’t too tied up in his emotions, unlike Virgil. He knows the facts, and that’s relieving when Virgil is in the midst of a period of overwhelming anxiety. But sometimes, Logan thinks he knows what’s best for Virgil, especially when it comes to matters concerning Roman Princeford.

Scoffing, Virgil crosses his arms and leans against the back of the chair. “Whatever,” he sighs.

Logan takes a deep breath, obviously trying to calm his temper, which has a habit of getting out of control, and responds, “Virgil, this is unhealthy. You have—” But before Virgil can find out what Logan thinks he has to do, another voice cuts Logan off.

“Heya, guys! How are you?” Virgil looks up to see a shorter student standing there. This new kid’s hair is a mess of amber curls, tumbling over his forehead and slipping behind his round, wire rimmed glasses. Tan skin covered in freckles and a round face gives him a youthful look, but Virgil knows that he’s a junior just like him. 

His name is Patton Hart, and Virgil, surprisingly, doesn’t hate him.

Patton is known for being one of the kindest people in the school. No matter who it is, Patton will find a way to cheer someone up. Back in December of their freshman year, Patton helped Virgil calm down during a panic attack around finals. Virgil harbors no ill will towards the kid, but it’s still strange that he’d show up at their table randomly. 

Then, Virgil remembers that Patton’s best friend is the one and only Roman Princeford. 

Roman probably sent Patton to tell me something. Damn, I hate that stuck up asshole. Before Virgil can open his mouth to ask Patton what he wants with them, since Logan and him are the only ones anywhere near, Logan talks first.

“Hi, Patton!” His voice is so upbeat and joy-filled that Virgil has to look over at Logan to make sure he did, indeed, speak. In the seat next to him, Logan’s face is lit up with a smile, and he looks so…well, not-Logan. And, wait, is that a blush on Logan’s cheeks?

Virgil raises his eyebrows in shock and blinks a few times to make sure what he’s seeing is real. When nothing changes when he opens his eyes, Virgil ignores the strangeness of whatever’s happening next to him and looks back at Patton. 

“Hey, Patton,” he greets. “What do you need?” He tries to keep his voice annoyance-free, so not to hurt the other kid’s feelings. Patton’s a little puffball of innocence and positive energy, and the whole school has made an unspoken agreement to keep it that way.

“Oh, I just came over to talk to Logan about our science project!” 

“We were paired together as lab partners today,” Logan explains, still with that wide smile on his face. 

Weirded out by the scene unfolding in front of him, Virgil pokes at his food one last time and decides he’s not so hungry to risk getting food poisoning. 

“Alright, then,” he says, standing up, “I’ll leave you guys alone so you can talk about your nerdy physics stuff.”

“Actually, Virgil, it’s chemistry we’re taking,” Logan informs him, some semblance of his usual professional manner returning. 

“Well, it’s still science, and it’s still nerdy, so my point stands.”

Patton giggles, and Logan seems to blush, but at this point, Virgil doesn’t trust his own eyes. 

“Well, goodbye, kiddo!” Patton exclaims, waving. Virgil laughs at Patton’s use of ‘kiddo’ even though they're in the same grade and waves back. Telling Logan that he’ll see him later, he turns and dumps his try, finally exiting the noise of the cafeteria.

[raendown]

Pairing: KakashiSakuraGenma Word count: 3156 Soulmate au: The one where the first time your soulmate touches your skin it leaves a permanent mark

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header! 

Chapter 222

He met Kakashi first. Well, that was kind of obvious. Genma met the last of the once proud Hatake line when they were both in the academy, not technically age mates although they attended all of the same classes. Back then Kakashi hadn’t covered so much of his body at all times but he’d still carried with him the sort of air that made others stay away, the air of one who stood above the rest even if he was good enough not to rub that in any of their faces. Genma watched Kakashi from afar because he was talented and interesting but never made much of an effort to actually get to know him. They ran in different groups of friends and there only ever seemed to be two or three people Kakashi deigned to give his attention to. No point in trying to make friends with someone who didn’t want any. 

It wasn’t until they were both nearing the end of their teenage years and Kakashi had been broken in so many ways it hurt just to look at him that Genma realized they had never touched before. He realized only because, well, because they touched. For the very first time. And when he pulled his hand away from where he’d clapped it down on to Kakashi’s shoulder with a great deal of frustrated exasperation the imprint of his hand stayed behind. Some of it, at least.

“Just leave it be, Genma,” Kakashi was saying. “I’m paying my respects. The dead don’t care about rain so I don’t see why I should. Look, if you’re worried about me being late for the mission I’ll catch up, okay?”

“Kakashi…”

“Go on ahead without me.”

“No, shut up for a damn second!” Blinking several times in rapid succession did nothing to clear the mark from his view. Half a handprint. He’d never studied his own fingerprints very closely but he knew that mark hadn’t been there a second ago so it couldn’t really be anyone else’s. What he did know for sure was that he definitely had a whole hand on that arm the last time he’d checked. 

Kakashi only had one eyebrow visible at the best of times and when he turned away from the monument it was lifted in question, his uncovered eye dark with the shadows he’d been carrying with him since Obito’s death. 

“Alright, I’ll shut up then,” he said. Amazingly his words came out with just the slightest undertone of humor rather than insult. If Genma’s brain weren’t currently exploding he might have appreciated that a bit more. 

“Look at your shoulder. And don’t you dare try to run!”

So Kakashi looked. By some miracle he didn’t even try to flee, although that might have had something to do with the way his knees wavered and folded underneath him. When he lifted a hand to trace the shape of one on his shoulder his cheeks danced through several different colors that Genma wished he knew how to properly interpret. Trying to figure out what was going on in this guy’s brain had always been more guessing game than exact science. 

“Half?” Kakashi whispered eventually. “What...does that mean?” 

“Oh no you don’t, I know exactly where your head is going, don’t even try to say you must be broken or unwanted or any of that! We’re just...probably waiting on another, you know?” Genma licked his lips nervously, passing the senbon in his mouth from side to side. 

“Another!?” 

“Well yeah. You know, like how Raidou’s got two mums and a dad? Or how Shizune’s got two mums and two dads? We just got to find our other one probably.” 

Kakashi chewed that over for several minutes. While he thought Genma did his best to be subtle about inching closer. He’d been excited about finding his soulmate since he was old enough to know what they were but he knew there were less and less people like him every generation, shinobi more and more frequently taught from a young age not to look forward to something that could end up being used against them. Some people even hoped they never found their match to avoid the chance of testing their own loyalties. Privately Genma had always questioned any loyalty that didn’t leave room for questions. 

Slowly the minutes passed as his shuffling took him closer and closer. They really were supposed to be leaving on a mission, were supposed to have left almost a half hour ago, but it wasn’t like the man they were being sent after would die any different if they arrived at night rather than midafternoon. Well, their pay might be cut some if they didn’t make it look quite like the accident they were contracted for but that wasn’t the end of the world. This was more important. If he used his best puppy eyes the Sandaime might not even punish them. 

Eventually Kakashi lifted his head and took a deep breath, startling to see that Genma was so much closer but very tellingly not protesting. When he spoke every word carried the faintest tremble. 

“I get...two?” he murmured. “Two people who want me?”

“Oh is that- that’s what you were thinking about? God damn it, Hatake!” With a roll of his eyes Genma flopped down on to the ground and threw both arms around Kakashi’s shoulders, more than aware that he was risking a knife between the ribs but also more than willing to take that chance. “We’re your soulmates. We wouldn’t be matched if we weren’t what you needed, you know? I want you, let's be clear on that, and I’m sure they’ll want you too.” 

“Not dumb. I’m a genius.” 

When their eyes met Genma was cheered to see that spark of humor had returned. His first soulmate had a lot of issues but that was fine, they could work on those together. They’d be fine until the day they could finally be whole. 

It took a while. Quite a few years. More than a decade, actually, but Genma would be happy to tell anyone that neither of them had really minded the wait all that much. They had each other through it all and despite the idiot’s protests they spent most of them working Kakashi through the worst of his abandonment issues until he could be called something at least adjacent to mentally stable. In that time they both did their rounds in ANBU and left the organization to seek healthier ways to serve their village. Where Genma chose to fall back in to the regular mission roster Kakashi found himself roped in to taking on a team of genin, something neither of them thought was a really good idea but neither could see a way to get around. 

The kids were, collectively, almost as messed up as their sensei had been. Out of the three the most normal was a little pink bubblegum girl named Sakura who spent most of her time swooning over the last of the Uchiha line. Kakashi did what he could to avoid contact with them just as he did for most people, a habit that Genma found entirely exasperating. 

“How are we meant to fill out the rest of our marks if you won’t touch people?” he’d asked once. 

“Maa,” Kakashi had waved him off. “They can touch you.” 

Genma had rolled his eyes and very carefully not traced the colors filling half of his right palm. 

Leaving the village periodically had been a part of life since he first graduated the academy but knowing that he was leaving Kakashi behind, trapped inside those massive walls until he felt that his new team might be able to survive the world beyond them, that was new. Mostly it was a new amusement. Genma made sure to bring home as many tales of the outside world as he could, playing them up for all the amusement he could squeeze out of watching Kakashi rock between wistful and jealous. Neither of them had ever really known what to do with kids until three of them were unceremoniously dumped in Kakashi’s lap so Genma didn’t feel much guilt over not coming to see the little rugrats. He knew all he needed to know about them from the horror stories his partner told him. 

Or at least he thought he did until the years began to turn and slowly the rest of the village started talking about them. It figured that Kakashi would stumble his way in to accidentally raising some of the most important kids of their generation. If the last of the Uchiha wasn’t notable enough then he had the son of the Yondaime Hokage and if that still wasn’t notable there was always the bubblegum girl who picked herself up off the ground and apprenticed herself to the Godaime, smiling deceptively at anyone who pleased her only to punch straight through the sternum of the ones who didn’t. Genma, when he finally met her face to face, decided that they could definitely be friends after she gained a few more years. 

He didn’t realize exactly what such an errant and mindless thought would become. 

Keeping his distance from Kakashi’s kids became a lot harder once they stopped actually being kids, growing steadily in to adulthood until one day he met his partner at one of the dingy bars they both shamelessly adored only to find that Kakashi wasn’t alone, slightly harried looking where he sat in the middle of four other bodies all smiling and trading jokes about his new haircut. Genma was already laughing a little to see Naruto poking at the spikes now several inches shorter and neater than they had been earlier in the day. 

“It’s certainly an interesting look, senpai,” Cat was telling him - or Yamato, Genma remembered he was supposed to call him now. 

“Maa, it’s an accidental look,” Kakashi admitted. Genma slid in to the seat next to him with a little wave to everyone else, barely reacting when Kakashi swooned dramatically in to his shoulder. “One of the ninken knocked in to me when I was trimming and I took a massive chunk off the left side. It was either leave it like that or make everything match.”

“Well I think it looks nice,” Sakura offered. Oddly enough she even seemed to mean it. 

Kakashi nodded gratefully in her direction only to wilt when he spotted the notepad that Sai had whipped out, already doodling an outline of the new haircut. Apparently the reminder of his own reflection was not a welcome one. 

“So cruel,” he moaned. “All of my loved ones are so cruel to me!”

“I’m sure we’d all be a lot nicer with more alcohol in us.” Well aware that he wasn’t being at all subtle, Genma could only offer a beaming smile when his partner leaned away to glare at him. 

“Extra cruel.”

“Does that mean you’re not paying for my beer?” 

Kakashi harrumphed his way out of his seat and stomped away towards the bar, gumbling under his breath about joint accounts and shared finances. With most of the table laughing along with him it was only too easy for Genma to ignore Sakura’s narrowed eyes. They’d crossed paths several times during her apprenticeship to Lady Tsunade, a source of much amusement for him whenever he pulled guard duty, but he’d never really had a chance to get to know her more than that so he could probably be forgiven for not knowing what that particular look on her face meant. Or what doom it spelled for those that might ignore it. 

When Sakura got up to walk after her old sensei Genma figured she was only going for another drink. Maybe popping off to the bathroom. He would have thought she was going to powder her nose if he had ever seen her wearing more than mascara but even the village civilians knew that the Yamanaka girl was the one obsessed with painting her face. If he had to guess he’d probably say Sakura’s version of dressing up had a lot to do with picking an outfit that best showed off her admittedly impressive biceps. 

Not, of course, that he was disparaging such choices. He’d always been attracted to competence more so than a painted face. 

It took several minutes for Kakashi and Sakura to make their way back across the bar but when they did they were both wearing faces like they’d seen the meaning of life itself and lived to talk about it. Genma was out of his seat and reaching for Kakashi in an instant, baffled when the man only stood there and blinked at him.

“Genma-san can we talk to you outside?” Sakura asked in a strained voice.

“Sure. Yeah. Did you…break him?”

“I think I might have,” she breathed. Then she turned and walked towards the back entrance with jerky steps. 

Without bothering to answer any of the questions from those left behind Genma took his partner’s hand and dragged them both after the pink hair bobbing away from them. Sakura’s compact little body was built much better than either of theirs for weaving her way through the crowd, enough so that by the time they stumbled out in to the back alley Genma was a little worried she might have had time to disappear on them. Thankfully she hadn’t. He did, however, note that her eyes were just as wide as Kakashi’s and both of them looked rather like they would have loved to flee if only they could figure out which direction to go in. 

“Alright, who’s going to tell me what’s going on?” he said. Kakashi gurgled a little. 

“I, ah, okay so...please don’t be upset.” The leather of Sakura’s gloves creaked in protest as she wrung the poor things between her bare hands with perhaps a little too much violence. 

“No promises. Go on then.”

The look she gave him was utterly devoid of humor but luckily for his bones she chose not to punish him for trying to lighten the mood. After a few more times wringing her gloves she allowed them to drop to the ground, taking one very deep breath before turning both hands to reveal her palms. One of them was half colored in. 

“Look I know he’s your- I know that you two- I didn’t mean to! Genma-san I’ve never seen anything like this! I was just trying to get his attention so I put a hand on his shoulder and I guess I’ve just never touched him skin to skin before and-”

“Woah, calm down, calm down. Don’t start hyperventilating. It’s...you left a...a soulmark?”

All the breath in his lungs whooshed out of him with some indeterminate noise when both Sakura and Kakashi nodded in the affirmative. It felt like suddenly there was no more oxygen left. Distantly Genma could tell that his legs were trembling but he couldn’t be bothered to care about that at the moment, not when everything he’d been waiting so long for was coming true right in front of his eyes. 

He didn’t realize how long he stared for until Sakura cleared her throat and he peeked up to see that she looked even closer to flight. Only then did the rest of her words finally sink in and he understood why she didn’t look happier about such an auspicious discovery. 

“You idiot!” Kakashi flinched when Genma reached over to smack him on the back of the head. “How many years have you known this girl and you never told her we’ve got another soulmate!?” 

“A- a what?” Sakura breathed. 

“We- oh sweet chakra farts just give me your hand, here.”

Impatient to seal them all together, Genma didn’t wait for permission to reach over and clasp Sakura’s hand in the one of his own that looked very much like hers, colored in on one half where he’d first touched Kakashi in the same place she had. All it took was a brief press of skin and then he was pulling away to turn his hand over. They still matched, of course, only now they both sported palms entirely covered with the beautiful mix of colors that made up their soulmarks, each half ever so slightly unique to show that they were both bonded to a third. No doubt Kakashi’s mark looked identical and for the space of a single moment Genma thought to pity his first partner that he didn’t have the same ability to just sit and stare at his own mark. 

The moment passed quickly. Kakashi was a sappy guy under the front he put up for others but he wasn’t quite that sentimental. Which was good. Sometimes Genma needed a little help tossing out his old ripped clothing because those shirts had been with him through so many missions they almost felt like friends. 

“Oh.” The breathy whisper of Sakura’s voice brought him back from whatever tangents his brain had been trying to distract him with. “I...both of you!?” 

“Maa, sorry about that,” Kakashi offered sheepishly. 

“Don’t be- you- and you- and you think I need you to say sorry?” 

“I’ve been chipping away at those self esteem issues for years, trust me. Might be nice to have some help with that.” Genma chuckled to cover his nerves. “Seriously though, you don’t mind do you? We’re both maybe a bit old for you but we’ve been keeping a spot on the couch warm for whenever we found you. If you need some time to think about it that’s okay. Just, ah, just know that, um…”

He was cut off from having to finish that thought by deceptively slim arms throwing themselves around his neck. Genma closed his eyes and reveled in the instant familiarity until Kakashi very shyly pressed himself in from behind and then that was it. They were complete. It would have been impossible to find words to describe the difference but it was there and Genma was just as happy to feel it instead of talking about it. After all this time they had found her, the missing piece in the beautiful puzzle of their bond. 

“Who needs time?” Sakura mumbled against his neck. “I’ve got so much to catch up on.”

“Later,” Kakashi insisted very quietly.

It wasn’t hard to guess his meaning. Genma smiled when he felt one of Sakura’s arms tighten around him even as the other let go to reach for Kakashi, all three woven together exactly as they were always meant to be. This, he decided, was one of the better things the universe had created. He might give fate a hard time for all the shit it had thrown at them over the years but it had always been clear to him that this right here, the three of them together, this would always be worth it. 

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 86

Pepito has an awkward family get-together.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Rebirth of the Antichrist

           Pepito hurries around the house, straightening things up, making sure everything looks clean. When that’s all done, he sits on the couch, constantly checking the time as his leg bounces impatiently.

           This is the first time in weeks he and Squee will be alone together. Just the two of them. Alone. In his house.

           He giggles like a schoolgirl. He’s so excited.

           There’s a knock on the door. Pepito leaps to his feet and throws it open. His big smile quickly falls into a look of disappointment.

           Standing on the front step is an unfamiliar teenage girl. She’s wearing a black and pink striped beanie over her long black hair, a spiked leather jacket over a punk band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and knee-high black boots. She’s also wearing black lipstick and eyeshadow. She smiles brightly at Pepito.

           “Um…can I…help you…?” he questions.

           “It’s nice to meet you, Pepito,” she says, “I’m Olivia; your sister.”            “My…what?” he exclaims, “I don’t have a sister!”

           “Well, half-sister, if you wanna be technical,” she clarifies, “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time.”

           “I’ve never heard of a half-sister before,” Pepito mutters in confusion.

         “I didn’t know about you either until not long ago,” Olivia says, “our dad is pretty secretive.”            “Our…dad…?” he questions and looks at her fearfully. “So…so that means-!”

           For a brief second, Pepito sees Olivia’s right eye light up red. Then a knife swings at her from behind. She lifts her hand and blocks the blade with ease.          

           “Squee!” Pepito gasps.

           Olivia looks over her shoulder, still holding the knife, and grins darkly at Squee, who glares back.

           “How rude of you to attack an innocent girl on the street,” she remarks.

           “No ‘innocent girl’ would be able to block my knife with their bare hand,” Squee retorts, “besides, I could sense your blood lust a block away.”      

           Olivia grunts with amusement and lets go of the blade. Squee points it at her threateningly. “Who are you?”

           “Olivia Diablo,” she states, “I already know you, Squee C. Or as you used to be known, Todd Casil.”

           Squee flinches like he had been slapped.

           Olivia smiles warmly and looks back at Pepito. “It was nice meeting you, big brother. I’ll see you around.”

           With that, she slips past Squee and skips down the road. Pepito and Squee glare after her, irked and nonplussed.

           “My…half-sister?” Pepito questions, “is she for real?”

           “I don’t know,” Squee replies, “but I know how we can find out.”

           He lifts his knife, the blade lightly covered in blood.

           A little while later, the Battalion is gathered in Zim’s lab. The Computer scans the blood on Squee’s knife and a bunch of information pops up on the big screen, including a school picture of the girl.

           “Amazing what you can learn from just a little bit of DNA,” Dib remarks.

           “DNA matches Pepito,” Zim reads.

           “How do you have my DNA?” Pepito questions suspiciously.

           “Questions!” Zim scoffs dismissively, “what’s more important is we learn who this girl is.”

           “Her legal name really is Olivia Diablo,” Squee reads off the screen. “She goes to school at Burnwood High in the South End. She’s fifteen, three years younger than us.”

           “Other than the fact that she’s the daughter of Satan, she seems like a normal girl,” Gaz comments.

           “So should we be worried?” Tak asks.

           “Definitely,” Squee replies, “I sensed nothing good from her.”

           “Okay, but, she is like…related to Satan,” Dib points out.

           “So is Pepito.”

           “But wouldn’t your senses toward him be kind of...biased?” Gaz questions.

           “That’s not…I mean…I’m not…he’s…” Squee stammers before huffing. “Look, she’s evil okay!”

           “Well, you know I’m not one to question your instincts, Squee,” Dib says, “but we really have no proof yet.”

           “But we have no proof she isn’t evil either,” Zim points out, “so everyone, keep your guard up. She knew Squee’s old name. Who knows what else she knows.”            The others nod affirmatively.

           Later, Dib drops everyone off at their homes with the Epic. Pepito walks up to his house and opens the door, sighing exhaustedly.

           “Hi, sweetie,” his mom, Rose, says.

           “Hi, Mo-AH!” Pepito exclaims with surprise when he sees Senor Diablo and Olivia sitting with her in the living room.

           “Hello, son,” Senor Diablo greets.

           “Hey, big brother,” Olivia grins.

           “Wha-you’re-why,” Pepito stammers with bewilderment. Then he awkwardly clears his throat and points to the kitchen. “Mom, can I talk to you?”

          Rose stands up and follows him out of the room. He faces her and points accusingly at Olivia. “Why!”

           “You’ve met her already?” Rose asks with surprise.

           “She showed up earlier,” he pouts, “ruined my date with Squee…”            “Your father just brought her over about an hour ago so we could meet her,” she clarifies.

           “You’re seriously okay with this?” Pepito asks, “look at her! She’s only like three years younger than me. That means she was born when you and Dad were still together.”

           “Whatever happened before doesn’t matter now; we’re already divorced,” Rose replies, “and I can’t be angry at her for having been born.”            “I guess,” he grunts, “but I don’t trust her.”

           “Now, now,” he tuts, “you just met her. So let’s be friendly and polite and have a nice visit, okay?”

           Pepito groans but follows her back into the living room. They sit on the couch with Olivia while Senor Diablo is in the easy chair.

           “So, Pepito, it’s been a while since we’ve talked,” Diablo says, “how are your powers developing?”

           “I haven’t seen anything new,” Pepito replies.

           “Have you been practicing?”

           “Not really. I’m quite happy with where they are right now.”

           “He’d prefer to practice his guitar than his unique powers,” Olivia remarks.

           Pepito side-eyes her with annoyance. “And what about you, Olivia? Do you have powers?”

           “I do,” she beams proudly, “Dad has been helping me develop them the last couple of years. Do you wanna compare?”

           “No thanks,” he replies curtly.

           “So the two of you are living together then?” Rose asks.

           “Yes,” Diablo replies, “I recently took Olivia under my wing. She was meant as a back-up plan after all, and since Pepito doesn’t wanna to fulfil his destiny, than perhaps Olivia shall.”

           “Yeah, that’s a great way to think of your children,” Pepito murmurs and stands up. “Um, will you please excuse me?”

           He exits the room and goes upstairs to his bedroom. As he closes the door, he grabs his cellphone and calls Squee.

           “Hello?” Squee answers.

           “I am literally in Hell,” Pepito says, “no, actually, I wish was in Hell. That would be more bearable than whatever is going on in my living room right now.”            “What’s wrong?” Squee asks wearily.

           “Dad brought over Olivia and now we’re all having some kind of family get-together,” he explains, “I think I am actually suffocating on the awkwardness. You gotta help me.”

           “What do you want me to do?”

           “Give me a reason to leave.”

           “What do you want me to say? Can’t you come up with something?”

           “Uuuuhhhhh,” Pepito groans as he strains his brain. “Oh, I know! I never did finish that science essay.”

           “What, are you serious?” Squee scoffs, “that’s due tomorrow.”

           “Perfect,” Pepito chimes, “I’ll tell Mom I need your help to finish it and get the hell out of here.”            “Aw, jeez,” he groans, “alright, come over.”

           “Yes! Be there soon.” Pepito hangs up and grabs his school bag before hurrying back downstairs. “Uh, Mom? I just remembered I have an assignment due tomorrow and Squee’s gotta help me, so I need to go.”

           “Oh, Pepito,” she sighs disappointedly, “alright, go ahead.”

           “Thanks, sorry, bye!” he waves happily as he rushes out the door. Olivia stares after him, unimpressed.

           Pepito hurries through the streets to Squee’s house. When he gets there, he sees him and Colton sitting on the curb. Pepito sits on the other side of Squee, grinning happily. “Sup, boys.”

           “Hey. Squee says you have sister now?” Colton questions.

           “Yeah, apparently I’ve had one for like fifteen years,” Pepito shrugs.

           “Ain’t that just the way,” he remarks.

           “Already, enough chatter,” Squee orders and points out at Pepito. “Seriously, finish your essay.”

         “Yeah, yeah,” Pepito nods as he takes out his notebook. “I mean, I have to start it to finish…”

           “God dammit, Pepito.”

           “Yes, god dammit, Pepito.”

           The boys look down the street at the voice, to see Olivia standing there.

           “What are you doing here?” Squee asks accusingly.

           “Is that her?” Colton questions, “she’s cute.”

           Pepito smacks his arm. “What?” Colton whines.

           “That’s still my sister,” Pepito snaps.

           “How sweet,” Olivia comments, “but I wanna make one thing clear. I haven’t decided to enter your life so we can have a loving sibling relationship. I only have one goal in mind. Your destruction.”

           “I mean, that’s just siblings,” Colton remarks.

           Olivia points her hand at them and it begins to glow black. Squee and Pepito grab Colton and dive out of the way just as she blasts an orb of energy at them.

           “Whoa!” Colton squeaks.

           “Colton, go inside,” Pepito demands.

           “Yup,” he nods and scurries into his house.

           “I wanna go inside too,” Squee groans exhaustedly.

           “Pepito, you have squandered the gift from our father,” Olivia states, “you have given up your destiny and chosen to become a rock star. You’re a disgrace to the name ‘Antichrist’.”

           “Destiny’s bullshit!” Pepito snaps, “I don’t know what Dad has said to you, but he’s brainwashed you! My life is my own and so is yours!”

           “You wanna know what Dad said?” she barks, “he told me to leave you alone!”

           “He said that?” he questions with disbelief.

           “Yes, but I disagreed,” she continues, “because unlike you, I view our powers as a gift and the fact that you barely use a fraction of yours to ‘protect the world’ is insulting. That’s why I decided to destroy you and your Battalion and then drench this world in darkness, as is my destiny!”      

           Olivia pulls off her beanie, revealing two small, black horns. They quickly grow in length to about two feet long as she throws off her jacket and black and red demon wings sprout from her back. She takes to the sky and points dramatically at Pepito and Squee.

           “Prepare yourselves and your friends!” she shouts, “for the true power of the Antichrist!”

           As she points her hands at the ground, the road splits open into a burning red chasm. She flies into it and it seals back up behind her, leaving Pepito and Squee staring at the road in bewilderment.

           “I told you she was evil,” Squee says.

           “It’s not like I didn’t believe you,” Pepito replies.

---

           Olivia strolls through the corridors of Senor Diablo’s mansion in Hell, to her bedroom. Inside is her computer displaying all of her surveillance footage and information on the Battalion and sitting in the corner is Carcas. He looks up at her as she sits at her desk.

           “So you revealed yourself to the Battalion,” he says, “now do we strike?”

           “That was just to stoke the flames a little,” Olivia explains, “we still need that artifact.”

           “So why can’t you get it?”

           “The Battalion is easy enough to handle. The problem is these three.” She displays a picture on screen of Johnny, Devi, and Tenna.

           “I know him,” Carcas growls.

           “They’re real wild cards,” Olivia comments, “if I wanna be sure to get that artifact without issue, I need to thoroughly distract the Battalion and these three.”            “I assume you have a plan?” he questions.

           Olivia grins as she faces him. “Carcas, are you familiar with the Multiverse Theory?”