#this marvel marathon will be the death of us

[vainvenus]

⌲;꒰ Favorite boy in the Valley ꒱

Pairing - Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Synopsis - Eli's doubting your relationship so you have to confirm some things for him.

Includings - S1!Eli no Hawk, insecurities, crying, embarrassed and blushing Eli, lots of kisses, words of affirmation, small bits of angst, a bunch of fluff

An - First post back with a new fixation! All tags used are fandoms I write for so feel free to request anything

And if anybodys interested I'm currently writing a Scream Au!Cobra Kai on quotev under the same name I use on here

Eli had been a bit off lately and it was starting to worry you.

Eli was generally a quiet person, he had been that way since you met him and he still was. But even given his quiet nature if there was a topic he was interested in and the right people were talking about it he would add in an opinion or two.

And he would be more than happy to rant to you of all people about a new series he had started up or to talk about one of the movies you recommended to him so that the two of you could gush about it and share opinions, but recently he had been a lot quieter.

You shut your locker, smiling over at the dirty blonde. "So, have you watched clueless yet? The fashion in that is-"

"Uh..no, sorry. I was...uhm...busy." He interrupted, staring down at his feet at the lie he told, he watched it twice and wanted nothing more than to go on and on about it.

You rose a brow, head tilting slightly as you stared at him with a look that almost made him call his bluff. "Busy?"

He just nodded quietly.

Then about a week ago, when you asked him if he wanted to come over after school to do a Marvel marathon he had quickly declined, saying that he had other plans and before you could ask what those plans were he went to go talk to Demetri.

He would usually walk you to class, everybody saying that wherever you were he had to be somewhere close by but recently as you waited outside your classroom for him he would be nowhere to found and that made your heart sink a little bit.

"Hey, you weren't outside my English class to walk me to culinary today." You frowned, setting your lunch tray next to his and taking your seat. "I wanted to tell you that I aced my essay..."

Eli glanced over at you and moved his nail from between his teeth. A nasty habit you had been trying to get him to stop doing for months and you were real close until he started becoming distant.

"I was just...just rushing to get to Chemistry. I had a really important test and wanted to get some extra study time in." He explained and you slowly nodded, deciding not to bring up the fact that his test was tomorrow.

He also stopped holding your hand, the first thing he could make the first move on, something he could confidently do if he was feeling nervous or just wanted to touch you. Normally he would hold it as he walked you to your classes or even when the two of you were sitting together at lunch but he started to pull his hand away or shove it into his pocket.

And what really got you was when he started denying your kisses. At first you thought it would just be by accident or he didn't want a kiss at the moment since he was still getting comfortable with PDA but you soon realized that he was dodging your kisses, tilting and moving his head when you leaned in.

It was all really confusing. You didn't understand why he was acting like this and it left you wondering if you had did something wrong. Maybe you had done something that made him upset with you?

You sighed, leaning onto Demetri's shoulder. "Its like when we first met all over again, Dem. He's just been so distant and I don't know whats the matter. Has he been acting different with you?"

"No, he hasnt." Demetri bluntly answered, shaking his head while his eyes stayed focused on the homework you let out a long sigh. "Then it's me, I have to be the problem."

The brunette sighed, putting his pencil down and turning his head to look at you, nearly giving you a death glare. "Look, you just need to talk to him, alright? He's probably going through another one of his slumps and needs some reassurance."

You had groaned, rubbing your hand along your face. "Of course, why hadn't you thought of that before? "Thanks, Dem! You're so good at giving advice, can't believe I didn't think that. God I'm dumb sometimes."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know I am and I know you are. Now, can we please finish our homework now that you're done moping?"

"[Y/n], Eli didn't tell me you were coming."

You smiled up at his mother as you held a new copy of the comic book Eli had ranted about a while ago along with a bag of some of his favorite snacks. "Yeah, I wanted to surprise him."

"Well he's upstairs in his room." She hummed, closing the door behind you as you walked up the stairs and down the hall to the boy's room, lifting your knuckles up to knock on the door.

There was a bit of shuffling before the door opened and Eli's eyes were wide with surprise upon seeing you. "[Y/n]? What..What are you doing here?"

"I just really need to talk to you. Can I come in, please?"

He seemed hesitant at first before reluctantly nodded and opened his door all the way. You set the things you brought for him on the table then walked over to sit across from him on his bed.

You looked at him, staring into his eyes as you reached out to grab his hand and rubbed your thumb over the back of it. "Eli, talk to me. What's the matter? What's going on?"

"It's nothing-" He started but you weren't buying it, obviously. "Eli we both know that's a lie. You haven't really been yourself lately and I just need to know why. I'm here for you. Is it something that I've done or anything I can fix?"

"Unless you can fix me being a freak, no, you can't."

Your face softened as you held onto his hand a little tighter. "Eli, you're not-"

He shook his head, pulling his hands away from yours. "No! Don't. Don't say that! I don't wanna hear this whole 'you're not a freak' talk again I'm so sick of it!"

The way his voice started to crack made your heart sink as you saw that his eyes were starting to water, fresh tears threatening to spill.

"Kyler said something that...that just really got me thinking. Saying that he didn't know how a girl like...like you gave a nerd with a weird lip...lip a chance." Eli swallowed the lump starting in his throat because he was going to start crying rethinking of the conversation.

"He started talking about how much better you could've done. Better like somebody like...like him." He sniffled, his fingers brushing against his scar as he looked everywhere but you when he spoke.

"And then I started to think he was...was right. You could do so much better than some nerd with a freaky l..lip." His voice wobbled as he stared down at his bedsheets.

"Eli. Eli, look at me." While the boy shook his head you reached up to grab the sides of his face, wiping away the tears with your thumbs that were starting to fall down his cheeks.

You sighed, frowning softly. "Look, I don't care what anybody else says, okay? Kyler was wrong because there's no better choice. I mean, is there any other boy at school who would listen to my constant complaining about Mrs.Carter?"

Eli had stayed quiet as you continued. "Would any other boy let me ramble about [f/superhero] and not call me a nerd?"

Silence.

You weren't done though. "Would some jerk like Kyler deal with my long shopping trips and help me carry all my bags around?"

Continuing you had smiled softly up at him. "Oh and I'm one hundred percent sure none of those guys would watch silly chick flicks with me and actually like them."

He shrugged his shoulders and you smiled, pressing your lips against the his cheek in a short yet sweet kiss and he winced, feeling the stickiness from your lipgloss. "And no other boy here is as breathtaking as you."

Your smile grew more as you saw the tips of his ears turning pink and he turned his head away slightly, looking up and away at his ceiling. "[Y/n].."

"I'm serious, Eli. You're so very pretty. I love and adore everything about you."

He avoided eye contact with you, trying to pull his face from your hands but you only hummed while pressing kisses all over his face and leaving shiny kiss marks along it.

"Your eyes alone just make me melt, y'know? I'm real jealous of how your lashes look better than mine." You giggled, placing a kiss right above his brow.

"[Y/n], stop..." He mumbled, his cheeks now being a color that would put any blush set to shame and you shook your head.

"You have a beautiful nose. I love staring at your side profile, it's just perfect." You complimented, kissing the bridge of his nose before your eyes trailed down.

You reached up, tracing your finger along the scar. "And like I've said before I love your scar. I could kiss you a million times and never get grossed out by it.

At that you leaned forward, pressing your lips right against his scar and you could feel his hands squeezing at the bottom of your shirt, fists squeezing tightly around the fabric before you moved down and captured his slightly chapped lips with your own. While you leaned into the kiss you could feel Eli's grip slowly lighten as he leaned into the kiss.

Eli was a burning mess in a the face when you kissed his scar, closing his eyes at the feeling while holding tightly onto your shirt as if you would go anywhere. Feeling you place felt your soft lips on his own partially chapped ones he was like putty in your hands, practically liquefying.

When you pulled away you giggled at the residue of gloss that came from your lips and that was now all over Eli's face and his own lips, smiling as the boy rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, his shoulders rising and falling while he panted softly.

"So no, there's no boy in this valley I'd rather be with." You confirmed, wrapping your arms and he laid back allowing you to lay your head against his chest, finding a sort of comfort listening to his heartbeat.

You hummed softly, reaching a hand up to play with the tuffs of his hair and the two of you laid there in comfortable silence and you peered up to stare at him to see that he was already staring at you.

"You...You really mean it? All that stuff you said earlier?" He questioned, his voice coming off as a whisper and you lifted your head up.

You sat up on his lap, furrowing your brows at him while staring at him with an incredulous expression. "Do I need to repeat myself? Kisses and all?"

"I...I don't know...I don't think I really got it." Eli gave a sheepish smile, messing with the hem of your shirt."

"Maybe...uhm...a couple more kisses and it might click?" He quietly suggested and stared up at you through his eyelashes, his lips parting a bit.

And how could you say no to such a pretty face like that?

[the-possum-writes]

Can I please get some hcs of Finn, Fern, Bonnibel and Marceline (separately) with a gender!neutral human reader who gets found in some kind of stasis pod in an overgrown underground bunker from the mushroom wars, and when they wake the reader up it turns out the reader was put in stasis near the end of the mushroom wars and now has to adjust to a radically different world? And after a few months of helping them get used to things the reader asks if they want to go on a date sometime?

Waking up from Stasis Hc

❥Characters: Finn, Marceline, Princess Bubblegum

❥Tag: Mentions of war and death, SFW, Gen!neutral reader, angst & comfort, human!reader, headcanons

❥A/n: Sorry for the wait! Gonna keep this limited to Finn, Marcy and PB due to my 3 characters per request rule. Hasn't been proofread, i wanted to get this one out as soon as possible ;w;

❥Taglist: @watchingfromthefloorboards @foxpearlwilder

Intro.

It was like sleeping any other night if it wasn't for the weird dreams. They were continuous, vivid and bizarre enough to the point you forgot about the real world where you can't fly nor talk to animals, eventually the memory of raid alarms and gunfire stoped bothering you as much as they used to as you enjoyed living one dream after another like a movie marathon.

But eventually all dreams, just like movies, come to an end.

When you wake up its like you're being splashed with a bucket of cold water, you're clutching your heart while gasping for air as bright lights burn the cornea of your eyes like pepper spray.

"Are they still alive?" one voice asks.

"Just barely, we'll need to transport them to the hospital."

Is what you manage to understand before you black out for moment, this time there were no dreams keeping you company. When you woke up you finally understood the situation you were in, with your memory slowly coming back to you in short bursts. The room you're in is plain white with weird machinery connected to you through thing tubes and suction cups, beside you is a young man with bright blue clothing. "Hey, you're up." he greets you after noticing you open your eyes.

"Looks like it, yeah... does this mean the war is finally over?" you ask which gained a confused expression from the young man.

"...War?"

Bubblegum

❥Princess Bubblegum is in charge of your well being the next few days, she'd walk in and run some tests and ask you simple questions but she'd only gain "Yes" or "No" responses from you.

❥She was the first to assigned you some professional help, talking with someone to let out all your confused and emotional turmoil.

❥"Your health has been improving." PB brings up during one of your medical check ups.

"So has my mood, it's not easy moving on but I know my family would want that for me." you motivate yourself, earning an awknowlodge nod from the princess.

❥Once you're out of bed you finally have a chance to properly marvel at the Candy Kingdom, from its candy residents to its sweet smelling architecture."You built all this? And everything is made of candy?"

"Sure is, you can take a bite of anything is you like."

"Even you?" you joke.

"Ha, ha very funny." PB huffs sarcastically.

❥Bubblegum is a busy woman but you still tail coat behind her like a baby duckling, either helping her as an assistant for her science projects or joining her for royal tea ceremonies.

❥After a year has passed and you felt comfortable in your new home did you feel confident enough to ask PB an important question. "You're gonna over work yourself again Peebs, how about I invite you to dinner at a restaurant?"

"Just bring it up to my lab, having company would be nice."

"Yes boss!"

Finn

❥Turns out the young man has been keeping watch over you for almost two days, refusing to leave your side until you woke up. Maybe it's because you're the only other human (besides Susan) in Ooo who he can relate to, or he's just that nice of a guy.

❥Once you woke up he was ecstatic to learn more about the world you lived in, what kind of monsters could you slay? What games or comics were available at the time? But Finn soon realized you weren't up to reminisce about old times. "My family... They didn't make it did they...?" you'd start weeping.

❥He gave you space to sort out your feelings due to Pb's request. Whenever Finn was relaxing at his own home he often found himself thinking about you, trying to get in your shoes and understand how he would feel if he suddenly woke up and Jake wasn't with him.

❥The next time he came to visit you he brought a get well basket with a bunch of snacks and his favorite comics, however some of them were half eaten because him and Jake got hungry on the way there, his heart was in the right place but his stomach wasn't. "Hey, I'm glad you made it here though. I appreciate it." you'd tell them.

❥"How's the recovery going?" he'd ask, curious to know since there's less equipment checking your vitals compared to the previous times. "It's going steady, Princess Bonnibel says I'll be out in no time."

Finn gets close to you, making sure there wasn't a wad of gum nearby. "Between you and me, she's a great medic but she's also very serious about it. She had me swallowing horse sized pills without a second thought pfft."

"Yeah, she be like that."

❥"Do you know what you'll do when you get out?"

"I have no clue, although PB suggested I'd get used to the outdoors."

"Then I have the perfect spot."

Then Finn would proceed to take you to visit weird kingdoms, some made of fruits and others made of breakfast, it's amazing experiencing such things with Finn by your side.

❥He'd always talks about the adventures he goes on like something out of a legend, it's tempting to go on one with him but he says. "I'll have to teach ya how to use a sword."

"Well sign me the fluff up."

Marceline.

❥Seeing Marceline for the first time is kind of scary when you first woke up. Mainly it was due to so many vampire monster movies.

❥She'd ominously float near you one day, when you were still down in the dumps after learning the truth. "I was there." she says all of a sudden, dry and blunt.

"What?"

"I said I was there, when everything went down. You managed to sleep it off in one of them bunkers, you didn't have to see your loved ones leave one by one. Consider yourself lucky."

The reason you were scared of her the first few days was because of the way she looked at you, with those dark red demon eyes.

❥Marceline would keep the whole "paralysis demon" kind of approach the next week. You'd wake up in the middle of the night to see a flash of her nocturnal eyes before she vanishes. You're unsure if she's haunting you or not, when asking PB about it she says "Marcy probably wants to talk to you but isn't willing to open up yet. Just give her some time." she'd shrug it casually. You would shrug it off too if it wasn't because it feels like you'll get a heart attack everytime you see Marceline's eyes.

❥It's like treating a cat. You wait for her to come to you. Eventually once you got out of the hospital and settled up in the candy kingdom, Marceline woke you up with the music from her guitar, she didn't give you that hard look and instead floated near you in a relaxed position.

❥Despite her personality and appearance she's surprisingly the most understanding of the three. As you soon came to find out she was a witness of the early days of the war, it was almost therapeutic talking to her about it.

"The smell of plane fumes was a pain in the buns, I remember I would spread lotion under my nose just to distract me from it." you'd bring up.

She would carry her bass with her and slowly playing a few beats. "I used to tied car refreshers to my forehead." she cackled.

❥The two of you bonded over music, she'd play a melody from back in the day and you'd tell her the details. "Ah I recognize that one, it was a good single."

"Really? I've had stuck in my head since I was a kid but I never knew the rest of the song!"

"Well, consider yourself lucky" you snarky repeat the same phrase she told you when you two met, receiving a pillow to the face.

[agentnico]

Top 10 BEST Movies of 2023

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all partied hard and are now surviving a dreadful hangover by sitting with your family or friends and enjoying a well deserved marathon of Lord of the Rings. 2023 - what a year! In the movie biz alone there were those little minor events known as the strikes of the actors and writers. Just when we thought COVID was over and stopped affecting releases, these strikes were like “errr no, actually..!”. To be fair, the way the streaming services were underpaying their actors and the studios enforcing AI so much into the media, it was good that these artists stood up for themselves and showed it to the man so to speak! Anyway, we’re not here to talk Hollywood politics, but to celebrate all the quality filmmaking that was exhibited this past year. I’d say in all honesty this year felt weaker compared to 2022. To be fair last year gave us Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick and of course the legendary RRR, so the bar was high for 2023. That being said, I still enjoyed some solid films, so let’s rank my Top 10 favourite movies of 2023, but first some honourable mentions…

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

Evil Dead Rise - one heck of a gore fest, and the best opening title card of the year hands down!

Past Lives - a simple yet brutally honest love story.

The Boy and the Heron - Wanna hear Robert Pattinson sound like not Robert Pattinson?!

Guy Richie’s The Covenant - The least Guy Ritchie film Guy Ritchie directed.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Wes Anderson and Roald Dahl are a match made in heaven.

Barbie - I’m Just Ken…need I say more??

Wonka - Timmy makes for a good Willy.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - A solid Marvel entry - a rarity these days.

Tetris - Gosh those tetrominos really get ya!

Right, with that, let’s get into the actual fun stuff - The Top 10 Best Movies of 2023!…

10) MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE - Tom Cruise - what a guy! I mean yes he’s a Scientologist, has a constant death wish by breaking his ankles on film sets and also guilty of jumping on Oprah’s sofa like a monkey, but my my is he a charmer! You guys know the drill with these Mission Impossible movies - Tom Cruise throws his body around like a potato fearing not for his life nor broken limbs, but you have to respect the man for wanting to give the audience their tickets’ worth of entertainment, and Dead Reckoning not disappoint! There’s never a dull moment, the action is constantly inventive and exciting, and honestly with how consistent the quality of these films are, I say keep ‘em coming, Cruise-man!

9) DREAM SCENARIO - Anyone who knows me knows how much I love me some Nicolas Cage! The guy’s an acting legend, and he’s had it rough a decade ago when he got stuck paying off hi tax money and starring in crappy B-movies, but recently he’s been on a hot streak of great original content, and Dream Scenario adds to that. I love this idea of a random dude suddenly appearing in people’s dreams for absolutely no reason. It’s so rare to have a new original conception in a film in our day and age, and the execution here is great. As a bonus, the movie features possibly the best fart joke in the history of the cinema.

8) FALLEN LEAVES - This features the deadest karaoke ever - the Finns sure know how to party!! Also bonus points for featuring an out-of-left-field reference to Jim Jarmusch’s zombie flick The Dead Don’t Die, which by no means is a great film, but the fact that the director of Fallen Leaves knows about such obscure pieces of cinema only reiterates the fact that he gets cinema. Which in this case is a straightforward romantic love story, but one that I instantly connected with. Reminded me of Compartment No. 6.

7) OPPENHEIMER - On one had this is probably the most “well-made” movie of 2023 cinematically speaking. Christopher Nolan does not hold back in using his typical non-linear way of storytelling, with the film weaving narratives and different time periods seamlessly as it explores the profound depths of a man who’s actions altered the world’s trajectory forever, for better or worse. It’s an incredible historical piece of cinema, and the movie gets extra points for the whole ‘Barbenheimer’ phenomenon, but the reason this film is not higher on the list is due to the fact that I believe it is overrated. Cause every single person raved about how bloody amazing this thing was, I became tired of the positivity. Yeah, I know, I’m being a Scrooge but what you gonna do about it?? Oppenheimer is stuck at No. 5!

6) ROBOT DREAMS - I’m sorry to go vulgar on this occasion, but my-my was I shipping this dog and it’s robot to absolutely fudge each others brains out!! Yet the movie happens to do the funny thing of being the biggest cockblock ever….. and that’s the best thing it could have done. Simplistic cartoon-network style animation made beautiful by an earnest story, accompanied by the delightful sounds of Earth, Wind & Fire.

5) KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON - When a movie forces you to stay in the cinema for over 3 hours, it better be one epic film, as your man here was straining his bladder to health threatening levels. However this is a Martin Scorsese picture, as such this is event cinema! And this one may be up there with one of his best. Killers of the Flower Moon is a major saga of greed, murder, corruption and despair, told through the eyes of a filmmaker who somehow is still managing to mature more as a director even though he’s already over 80 years of age.

4) THE HOLDOVERS - The Holdovers is very much a vibes movie. It has that old-timey retro feel to it from how it is shot to make it look like it’s from the 70s (reminiscent of John Hughes films and Dead Poets Society). You also have the constant snow falling and the Christmas music just really delivers that cozy winter feel. It’s a wholesome Christmas movie through and through. Paul Giamatti gives a career-best performance and the writing is absolutely stellar, as such The Holdovers is destined to become a holiday classic.

3) BEAU IS AFRAID - A 3-hour long anxiety attack that A24 spent $30 million to produce. For a movie studio to spill out such a massive amount of cash on a completely original IP that is divisively out-there and wild is such a unique thing to happen in Hollywood in this day and age, that like the film or not this act needs to be applauded. It just so happens that Beau Is Afraid is batshit bonkers and truly an act of madness, yet one that I will forever cherish. I bet David Lynch had the biggest hard-on when he watched this movie - you betcha!

2) PERFECT DAYS - Essentially plays out like a live-action remake of WALL-E from the director of Paris, Texas. Honestly this is such a sweet and delightful film about a toilet cleaner doing his thang, and somehow inspired me to want to clean toilets myself. A beautiful piece of independent cinema that appreciates the little things, and truly embraces the ideology of stopping to smell the roses.

1) SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is, put simply, brilliant! It’s everything that made Into the Spider-Verse great dialled up to 1000%, and the result is honestly fantastic. Look, I watch a lot of movies. And yeah, movies are great and I love them deeply. But in watching so many films I have in a way lost that magic of being in awe every time I go to the cinema. Cliches and repetitiveness in films stick out like sore thumbs. However with Across the Spider-Verse I felt like a kid again, purely stunned in amazement at every single frame, engaged with the characters and story-line, not knowing where it will go next. Like I cannot reiterate how much fun I had watching this movie! The animation is phenomenal, the narrative so rich, a pulse-throbbing music score (I even have Pemberton’s score on vinyl now just cause I love it so much!) superb character development and so many fun and unexpected twists and turns. Across the Spider-Verse is THE movie of 2023 for me and I believe this is the first time ever an animation took a top spot on my list. Here’s hoping Part 3 of the Spider-Verse saga will play out like The Return of the King!

There you have it - my favourite films of 2023. Naturally I don’t expect my list to be the same as yours, so don’t go throwing a tantrum if I missed out a movie you loved. Or do throw a tantrum, see if I care. But also don’t, cause like we’re all friends here, right? Right??!

[traincat]

yeah from what I've heard (I don't have the guts to actually read it) that's what's going on right now other than him fighting other heroes and paul still being a mystery

I'm going to marathon through what I've missed at some point, I'm just trying to get up the urge to care. (I got big back into Fire Emblem so I can't even rely on "this series is the main fiction love of my life and I have to do this" right now.) Most of what I've "read" from the past few issues are pages floating around twitter, and they've all been kind of outraged on the PeterMJ developments, which, like, I get, because they suck, but they've been sucking the whole series now so you'd think I'd hear more about Peter stealing tech from other heroes so he can give it to Norman to build stuff for him??

And I'm not addressing anything directly because again I haven't like actually read it yet and I don't want to be part of the comic book misinformation network, even accidentally, but I did read like at least the first half of what's out of this run and the Norman thing was the biggest deal for me. I can theoretically deal with everyone hating Peter for not established reasons or Peter and MJ having badly contrived relationship drama or Mystery Kids or Ben Reilly Evil Again (Take Two) or Peter not working at the Bugle because Marvel hates me personally or even Peter and Flash reuniting totally off page. What I can't handle is the Norman Was Shot With a Good Ray and Now Everyone Feels Sooooo Bad For Him Because He's Such a Nice Guy (He's Actively Falling Apart Because He's Gonna be Evil Again Ooh) apology hour. I can't handle Peter being willing to put his trust in Norman, whether or not Norman had the evil sucked right out of his soul and lobbed at a clone of Ashley Kafka or not. And I can't handle the downplaying of Peter's kills in favor of Norman's. It's always really weird to me when writers are like "Norman is more of a genius than Peter." Norman is more ruthless than Peter. Norman cares about far less than Peter. Establishing Norman as smarter than Peter flips the script in a really weird way (as opposed to characters like Doc Ock or the Jackal, who are established geniuses) that sort of puts them on this uneven footing. It seems to buy into the myth of the super rich guy as inherently smarter than everyone else, and it's not really present in Norman's original story (his introduction up to his death in ASM #122). Like this is a guy who Goblin'd himself because he blew up a bunch of chemicals in his own face. Even if he said he could build me a super suit, if I had anywhere in the realm of the "rewiring a toaster" skill set, I'd be like, cool thanks I'll do it myself. Which is what Peter should be doing, because the core of Peter's character should be a frightening amount of independence. He shouldn't be relying on Norman for a job or a super suit or subway fare. Good Norman or no, Norman helping to rescue MJ or no, Peter should be telling him to go fuck himself in every panel. It's just a basic characterization issue at this point. And this doesn't have to apply directly to whatever is or isn't going on in the past few issues because it applies to the whole run. (I did read the first few issues of Gold Goblin, which were at least an attempt at nuance with Norman, but between Liz trusting Norman and "Gold Goblin" sounding like the ultimate antisemitic dog whistle, I haven't gotten up the will to finish it yet.)

I think I'm also just like burnt out after two uniquely bad runs in a row. Like Slott was bad, but I was pretty used to the specific ways in which he was bad, and occasionally he busts out a good enough scene that it kind of gets you excited again. Spencer and Wells' runs have both had this deeply unpleasant undercurrent to them (Kindred, whatever's going on with Wells revisiting the plotline he wrote with the blizzard from the early days of Brand New Day) that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But to say anything more specific I would, you know, actually have to read it.

[jsaunderswrites]

A personal (and probably wrong) ranking of the MonsterVerse

I decided to start the MonsterVerse last month after realising it's 10 years old and one of the only successful outcomes of the cinematic universe boom of the early 2010s. And so I marathoned everything in a couple of weeks. And now with the next movie coming out in March I decided to rank my opinions. And I get that everything I say is probably objectively wrong but that's how it is. I should mention I have no history with kaiju movies. I saw the 1998 Godzilla as a kid and once again as an adult. I thought it was a flawed but passable blockbuster, not the worst thing ever created. I would love if Zilla were added to the MonsterVerse but I get there are probably licensing issues in the way. And I remember being very positive about the 2005 King Kong and those leeches will haunt my nightmares forever.

N/A. The novelisations and TTRPG (2014-) I haven't read these. I understand the novels expand on the story of the movies by adding context and backstory. I might try these later.

7. All the comics (2014-) Just to get them out of the way, all the tie-in comics kinda suck. In the way all tie-ins tend to. Rushed inconsequential stories with no real depth. Skull Island: The Birth of Kong had a chance but was so focused on the Monarch mission that the titular event is relegated to a questionable vision by the villain. This doesn't cover Justice League vs. Godzilla v. Kong which I have not started.

6. Godzilla (2014) The movie starts pretty good, but with the death of Cranston's character we lose the most interesting viewpoint and are left with generic white-bread soldier guy, who is the least of all the protagonists in these movies. The movie even looks gorgeous at first and settles to just very good after they leave Japan. I am uncomfortable with how uncritical this movie was of the US military. Out of their depth sure, but good people trying their best. When Serizawa brings up Hiroshima, the film has so disconnected Godzilla from the horror of nuclear weapons that it feels like he's only protesting because of his family history. not connected to the themes in any way. ALSO they do the thing where they bring up a historical tragedy/atrocity but use an in-universe justification to make it less objectionable. So the Castle Bravo test was actually trying to destroy Godzilla. The occasional shot of dispassionate, uncaring destruction left in the wake of phenomenally uncaring monsters of unfathomable power are very effective, but they're too few. And at the end the MUTOs start caring about the regular soldiers. "I may currently be fighting Godzilla but some guy started a boat over there and I need to kill that for some reason!" And the fact they monster fights keep happening in locations that coincide with soldier guy's journey gets comical.

5. Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) Some fun fighting between giant ape and lizard. And I was happy to get King Ghidorah back because he was awesome in KotM. But his actual fight is not particularly long because we spend most of the movie on the journey to the hollow earth and then the second fight between Kong and Godzilla, leaving Ghidorah's return feeling too rushed. The actual human plots are very meh. The investigators team feel very Marvel studios goofy in a bad way. I have no love for conspiracy theorists anymore and the moment Bernie brings up fluoride he lost me. The expeditionary team are boring. I do not care beyond the little girl having a bond with Kong. That was sweet but everyone else is irrelevant to me. I would prefer just learning about the axe and Kong's people rather than focusing on this crossover. I did have a chuckle that both the star kaiju are characterized as massive alpha-bros who need to be the biggest dick in the room. But otherwise it's just some fun action with nothing much of substance.

4. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) There is an ongoing problem in this whole franchise that is most present here: nature doesn't have inherent balance. So much is based around heroes and villains insisting we need to step back and allow nature to fix itself, because it has a plan and a will. But it doesn't. Nature cannot fix the damage we have done on its own. We need to actively undo what we've done to it. So the fact they keep insisting this and treating what amounts to new age religious faith as though it is any way scientific gets on my nerves. But otherwise this is a good one. Mark Russel is the best of the generic white guy main protagonists, his hatred for titans and insistence they're better all dead makes sense contrasted with everyone else's unfounded faith. But he also is willing to cooperate when it comes down to it. There are some gorgeous shots in here. King Ghidorah really sells the apocalyptic alien invader/literal actual Satan thing very well! I wanted more of him! I was interested in how they set up a universe of monsters with Mothra seemingly seeding something with her sacrifice and Rodan bowing to Godzilla but the movies so far seem to be ignoring them. Bring them back! Also I liked Dr. Stanton so I'm disappointed he was also dropped.

3. Skull Island (2023) I was surprised at how attached I got to the characters, especially with everyone actually turning out to be on the same side. There is a strong theme of family through all of these installments that can be interesting or not depending on the actual media. I don't think we're getting a season 2. It's Netflix. So in like 3 years one of the comics will mention how a bunch of people were rescued from the island in the 90s with no other context. And any continuation that doesn't end with a three way wedding between Sam, Irene and Cap is not canon.

2. Kong: Skull Island (2017) I know I'm against the majority rating this one here. But I love the anti-military theme. I like the way it looks, the sometimes psychedelic shots. Samuel L. Jackson sells the villain, the creatures are all awesome, none feel like filler creatures. I felt like Loki Bond and the anti-war reporter don't get arcs but their performances sell the characters very well. I would love if we could get them back, just do more with them. The stinger feels like a set up for a more behind the scenes look at Monarch. Speaking of...

1. Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023-2024) This was the best one. Great characters, story, visuals, the whole package! Every Godzilla appearance is better than all the movies. The theme of family drama is central here and strong. The drama is palpable! I hope we get a continuation, either a season 2 or bring these people back in the movies. Rather than Millie Bobby Brown again. It's strong enough to be enjoyable on its own but sadly I don't know how sensical it is without having seen the movies. I want a physical release now!

The future Now I am going to start trying other films. Shin Godzilla and Godzilla Minus One, rewatch King Kong 2005. Also I started Godzilla: The Series to see if it gets interesting. And also eventually Godzilla Singular Point. I'll eventually watch Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire when it comes out but whether in theaters or not I don't know yet.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, September 15

FAITH: Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes. BUFFY: You told me I was just like you. That I was holding it in. FAITH: Ready to cut loose? BUFFY: Try me. FAITH: Okay then. Give us a kiss.

~~BtVS 3x21 “Graduation Day, Part 1”~~

[Chaptered Fiction]

The Gift, Chapter 4 (Angelus/Drusilla/Spike, E) by the_widow_twankey

Power In Your Eyes, Chapter 2 Complete! (Buffy, Giles, Constantine xover, G) by TheSovereigntyofReality

A Reincarnation in Sunnydale, Chapter 17 (Buffy/Angel, M) by DracoRim98

The destiny of Wiccas, Chapter 7 (Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Charmed xover, T) by Bl4ckHunter

A White Knight in the Cove, Chapter 20 (Xander/Ambrosius, Dante's Cove xover, M) by WhiteKnightDragon

[Ukrainian language] Forward to Time Past//Вперед у час минулий, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, E) translation by Uraniya

Supporting Natasha Romanoff (and Iron Man too), Chapter 61 (Willow/Natasha Romanoff, Marvel xover, T) by SomeMeaninglessName

but this love is ours, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Faith, M) by ripslayer

Better Off Alone, Chapter 5 (Faith/Daryl, The Walking Dead xover, T) by Storm_Arke

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Chapter 25 (BtVS ensemble, M) by ttfan111robstar1

Moments that Make You: The Hero and The Princess, Chapter 49 (Cordelia/Doyle, T) by myheadsgonenumb

Cultivating Chaos, Chapter 10 (Giles/OC, Spike/OC, M) by BunnyQuill

The Pen May be Mightier than the Sword but Sometimes It's Harder to Wield, Chapters 1-2 Complete! (Spike/Drusilla, G) by EustasiaVye13

The Times They Are Achanging, Chapters 9-11 (Buffy, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, M) by Jennifer Schumacher

Xander's choice: continued, Chapter 1 (Xander/Spike, M) by Dean-and-Sam's-Dreamgirl

[French language] En l'an 2023, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Faith, T) by Friday Queen

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 43 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by the_big_bad

Because I could not stop death, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Desicat

Under The Rubble, Chapter 44 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Geliot99

Buffy the Tenno, Chapter 33 (Scoobies, Warframe xover, FR15) by DarkPhoenixLady

Back to the Light, Chapter 3 (Scoobies, Dr. Who/Torchwood xover, FR18) by MountainKing

A Place in the Sun, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

An odd Couple of grumpy old Brits, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Julikobold

Bad Necromance, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Rea

Mommy...?, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Grief Counseling

[Images, Audio & Video]

Gifset: endless list of favorite characters - (11/∞) -> Spike (BtVS/Angel) (worksafe) by lopeirce

Artwork: druuuuuusilla (worksafe) by bugaboooooooooo

Artwork: Made some fanart of my favorite toxic boy lol (Spike, worksafe) by pocketsizedann

Fanvid: Buffy & Spike // Private Fears In Public Places (Buffy/Spike) by Heartsonfire

[Community Announcements]

[Revamped IWRY Fic Marathon] We have decided to open up the IWRY Fic Marathon to other forms of art. All we ask is that it is centred on Buffy/Angel by iwillrememberyoumarathon [on tumblr]

[Fandom Discussions]

I empathize with the whole “the writer’s just made my favourite character into a predator what the f-” by mothmans-wedding-photographer

Analysis of Buffy Summers by coraniaid

Anyone else find Dead Man's Party viscerally upsetting? by ChildrenOfTheForce

Prompt: What’s a plot that sounds like it could be a Buffy episode, but isn’t by Seer77887

Prompt: What’s a plot that sounds like an Angel episode but isn’t? by Seer77887

Episodes you skip, not bc they’re bad, but they’re intense/emotional for you by ginime_

Buffy Tarot Deck — Willow Cards by caschwink

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

FAN INTERVIEWS: SAD Scoobies of the Month (September) by Sunnydale After Dark

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[corndoggod]

Shirley Chisholm State Park

Surrounded by planes with their jet engines whinnying like Pegasus and cooled by a fine breeze, I paused. The bike mechanic recommended the park after seeing my tires. “You could totally do the gravel at Shirley Chisholm,” he said. “It’s nice out there. Bring your girl. They got birds. Peregrines, red tails. It’s not big, but it’s nice and green.”

I was there to buy three tubes since C.’s front tire had a tear too big to patch and was sold this plan instead.

………………..

We skirmished earlier in the day. Not fighting really, but exasperated misunderstandings. We ruined our morning with more sex. My legs ached from last night’s late-night marathon. “Do all that again,” she said, but I barely remembered. I remember I had five drinks, but Coyote pours them strong so it was probably more like 7 or 8. I woke in a bog of my own making; my peers already done with their long run and I felt behind.

It began with an errand. C had to copy Sav’s studio keys and drop them off for someone. Her new studio mate actually. Sav pawned it off to C, since she chose a 3 bed by a pond and working on a hippie farm upstate after their Clinton Hill landlord raised their rent. I suggested we divide and conquer since we also wanted to buy groceries and return IKEA stuff while we had the car. These scattered tasks became monumental, crushing our weekend elation. We sat on the floor to problem solve and I learned a thing or two about how C.’s mind works that I filed away for later use.

………………..

But now I’m out here and it’s peaceful. Birds all around and a breeze on my sun-blocked back. I’m starting to get hungry and very, very thirsty. I’m filming planes, trying to take nice shots of the sun and clouds and metal marvels, after my Dad told me I had a good eye. I’ve always shied away from visuals, partially because I had too many artist friends to fool myself into any confidence. But nature’s beauty is hard to sunder, and so is C.’s, so I’m moving a bit slower, trying our my mechanical eye. 

Writing, biking, running -- these things help me think, but I’ve never thought of all three of them as engines for thought. I used to pedal around all the time typing on my phone just to think. But that’s difficult to do safely in New York. Even Prospect Park is too dense unless you’re there just after dawn or well-past midnight. But out here with Shirley where the city recedes to a couple of legos its wide as the Sargasso Sea.

………………..

When the park closed, I biked to Sultan Room to watch Emma perform with her second band Skortz, a 90s-style rock band leaning into heavy electric guitar. The singer was like a hawk, powerfully belting long, unflinching notes into the mic. She was a poster child for the satanic panic. The guitarist had long shaggy unkempt hair, but everything else about him was put together just so: his glaring collar pulled over the lapels of his two-piece suit, which stopped just short of his bare ankles and leather dress shoes. The drummer didn’t give a shit. He was just there to wail on the skins. And then there was Emma, beaming with the biggest smile as they sang of death and pain and betrayal.

Sunday morning was kinder, easier. We turned on the AC and draped our bodies over each other, giving one-handed foot massages. I’m reading the WSJ weekend edition, the first physical paper I’ve ever subscribed to. She’s reading Bluets by Maggie Nelson.

[colemonroe]

Snorting out a soft laugh, Cole’s brows gave a playful waggle at the compliment, only halfway resisting the urge to shake his ass in the process, “Ya say the sweetest things.” Settling for a simple wiggle as if to drive her point home, he shook his head, relishing how easy it was to feel so silly in her company and not analyze it to death later on. Grinning down at her, he silently marveled at the way her laughter reached her eyes, bathing them in that same warm, beautiful glow he’d come to love over the years– and had missed in recent weeks. 

“I don’t think there’s a Dolores,” he mused aloud, head tipping to the side in thought. “But if there is, we could call ‘em together, tell ‘em how bad they’re fuckin’ us in the face with that one– it’s disrespectful,” Cole laughed, even though he knew from their countless Harry Potter marathons that the issue of Dolores Umbridge was no laughing matter. Shaking his head as if to push the thought aside, he fixed his attention back on Taliah, offering her a warm smile as he felt the gentle squeeze against him, "Yeah, yeah– ya know what I mean." Sirius the star might not have had feelings, but that didn’t change the sentiment behind what he was saying. Taliah was the single most steadying presence in his life outside the club, the one person who grounded him more than anyone he knew– anyone would be lucky to have that influence in their life…he just counted himself lucky that he got her. 

Each time she kissed him, Cole realized more and more just how powerless he was as he leaned into that natural pull that she had, unable to help the way he chuckled against her lips every time a smile broke apart their kisses, because this warm familiarity was something he’d never felt with anyone before– he had to pause and relish it. There was something so pure about being able to laugh during some of the more intimate moments life offered and to date, he’d never experienced that with anyone other than Taliah. But even so, worry had a way of creeping in at the edges of his mind, leaving him wondering if he’d read the situation incorrectly the moment he decided to strip his shirt and tell her that he wanted her. It was easy enough to second guess himself, not because of Taliah herself– he trusted her completely– but because the last time he'd allowed himself to be this vulnerable with a woman, she'd chewed him up and spit him back out. So what if he’d leapt before he looked and leapt just an inch too far? What if the level of closeness he craved with her wasn’t what she wanted? 

Blue eyes widened briefly in the moonlight as he gazed down at her, wondering just how much he’d overstepped– if at all. But as her hands swept up his back only for her nails to race back down his exposed skin, a shiver soon followed, careening down his spine and peppering his skin with goosebumps as a soft smile curled at the corner of his mouth. He leaned into her kiss, almost entirely at ease by the warmth of it, but it was the words that followed that assured him the most. She wanted him too. Surprise momentarily brightened his features, though it was quickly followed by a sigh of relief and a gentle laugh, one he cut off with another kiss. “Yes, ma’am,” he drawled against her lips, giving into that soft plea to love her all too easily. Despite the urgency in the kisses that followed, Cole wanted to take his time with her, to spend all night relearning every inch of her body and rediscovering how they moved together. He wanted to relish every touch like it was the last– like he had two years ago. Rough hands gripped her thighs, spreading them just far enough apart so that he could settle down in between them– an action that probably shouldn’t have felt so natural between friends, but it did. For a moment, he even let himself linger on the idea that that gap between her thighs had been made for him. Maybe it was all bullshit, but when he seemed to fit there so effortlessly, maybe it wasn’t. Bracing one hand against the makeshift bed he’d made, the other gripped lightly at her chin, gently tipping her head to the side so that his lips could chase a hot trail along her jawline back to his favorite spot on her neck– just below her ear and right over her pulse point. Fuck, he wanted her, and the roll of his hips against hers said as much. Pressing a lingering kiss to his preferred spot, he eased back then, hands reaching for the hem of her shirt and hauling it upwards– or his shirt, rather. “‘Fraid I’m gonna have to take this back,” Cole divulged, winking down at her as he slipped his bottom lip between his teeth, “Least for a little while.” Dropping down, he stole another quick kiss and grinned against her lips, “Til after I’ve had my way with ya.”

"You don't need to dance, with an ass like yours you only need to show it off to make heads turn." Snorting a little, he had to know that actually, she wasn't even joking. Just as he surely knew that he did have one hell of a nice behind. "Yeah, and the ones with big heads are just filled with air." Laughing even more, she couldn't help but feel like this was what she had been missing. Conversation she wasn't too disconnected not to truly invest in, laughter that actually lit up her eyes, all those little things that until last week, she didn't know she had been out of touch with.

"I'll believe you, but if you try to tell me one of them is called Dolores I'm gonna have to call bullshit, and NASA, because if it's true then I'd be demanding a rename." She huffed. Dolores was possibly the most hated out of the entire HP series, in her opinion. One that Cole was well aware of after many nights enduring Taliah's huffs and puffs every time she came on screen when they watched it together. She's glad that the conversation doesn't linger too long on that, his usual use of the word darlin brings her out of her stewing thoughts and back into the gentle air around them. "Wow, that would suck for him, I sometimes get lost on my way to the bathroom." She teases, but only after she makes a point of squeezing him. A silent thank you for essentially feeding into the way she talked about Sirius as if it had feelings.

Kinda like the sound of that. Yeah, it certainly held a lot of appeal, didn't it? How could it not when it felt this right. It should be strange how normal it felt, just friends surely never had moments like this. But then, how many romantic couples had what they already did platonically? Their love had always been unique, even blind men could see that much. Melting into the touch of his lips felt as easy as blinking, even when they were technically kisses that were broken by the cheek-splitting smiles between them. Still, as she felt his hand sloping up her side, she could feel the shift in the air from something kinda random, to something with intent.

There's a light and pure giggle that escapes her as she watches him take her silent request, sitting back to rid himself of his jacket. Biting down on her lip to stifle the smile when he also removes his shirt, it's all she can do not to dissolve. Her initial kiss hadn't intended to create a twist into anything more, but it was clear to her now that it had. And hell if she wasn't going to let it. Nothing had felt right to her in so long, but this did. Being here with her best friend, warm, safe, and happy. "Better." Taliah mumbles, letting her hands skate up his back just to gently drag her nails down his skin. Kissing him now, in comparison to only one short minute ago, felt different. It felt desperate, so when he bites her lip and tells her that he wants her, she can feel the heat that creeps up her neck. Nodding silently, Taliah steals another kiss, but knowing him as well as she does, she knows he not only prefers words, but that he enjoys hearing them too. Something that only makes a renewed smile dance on her lips as they're pressed against his. "I want you too," she whispers, allowing the verbal communication to solidify that she was on the same page. "Just love me." She adds, knowing that it went without saying, she would love him too. She wanted what he wanted... To feel, to be safe, to find the peace that they couldn't find in anyone else and allow themselves to heal, together.

[the-shared-brain-in-retrograde]

Captain America: The First Avenger

A joint review...

Here are the things we agree on:

The inaugural showing of the Bucky Boot™️ showcased within second of him being on screen. Right up that man's arse. Love to see it. No wonder he got them thighs.

A touch of Tucci improves any movie. A single proud gaze from that man would power Stark Tower on good clean energy for decades to come. @cassandrafey was devoed when he died.

After the failure of the flying car, we felt that Steve would have been more apprehensive when Howard Stark rocks up to super soldier him.

It was a great pity that Steve didn't come out of that bridal shop window with either an entire gown or at the very least wrapped in a veil. A damned pity.

How long has Schmitt been in possession of a mountain side lair? We appreciate a good evil lair and would like to know how long it's construction took. For personal reasons.

We love a cheerful war montage, to music. There were many fine sequences to consider.

We enjoyed Bucky's decision to lower his neckline after his near death experience. Much appreciation.

Peggy Carter shooting at Steve, hell hath no fury...

In AU land, where they won the war and didn't freeze/get winter soldiered, Bucky would def have got a projector out most weekends and made Steve do his little dance.

Favourite Quotes:

"I'm not gonna kiss you." Colonel Chester Phillips

"You're keeping the outfit, right?" Sergeant James Bucky Barnes

Where we disagreed:

Everything else...

love cass & becks xoxo

[ziracona]

People who want to like Marvel movies so bad should watch Mission Impossible franchise instead because it's like all the high action but way better and with practical stunts that are stunning instead of CGI and also all the HC found family and character development and likable characters, except they actually exist and are amazing. Like no downbeats from action yet they still manage to have the most interesting and likable cast because characters actually aren’t that hard if you’re a good writer. Morals and ethical takes that don’t suck. it’s actually funny. Everyone loves each other. Well written women who don’t get fridged. Like the franchise you guys keep pretending exists is right there fulfilling every box that needs ticking--you just aren't looking in the right direction. It has what MCU /WISHES/ it knew how to do. You are sleeping on one of the best action film franchises to ever exist like I will sing its praises eternally.

[tawneybel]

Favorite Christmas presents:

D'Aulaires’ Book of Trolls by Ingri and Edgar Parin D’Aulaire

Prank Killer pins from ClayGrahamArt (Ghostface is slasher bae.) 

Heathers DVD

Labyrinth DVD

Weird Michigan by Linda S. Godfrey 

Weird N.J. by Mark Sceurman and Mark Moran 

Uh, I haven’t posted one of these in a while. Since the beginning of January I’ve been super busy. Next week I have a final. 

Listing every movie I saw last year would be too much. But I wanted to list all the 2019 movies I saw from fave to least fave. Not including things I didn’t finish, like The Addams Family. At first I liked it for keeping them unconventional looking, but the plot wasn’t that interesting. 

Us: February 2019 was a good month for movies. This wasn’t actually my favorite from last year. But it’s one of the few horror flicks I’ve seen that genuinely unnerved me. JORDAN PEELE MADE HAND HOLDING SCARY. The special features were the best part, though.

Alita: Battle Angel: Is this a female power fantasy? She’s scrawny but still kicks *ss.

Spider-Man: Far from Home: Jake Gyllenhaal is sexy to me now.

Happy Death Day 2U

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark: It probably should have been both animated and an anthology, but still enjoyable. 

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World: Am I still bitter that Dragon Slayers’ Academy never got expanded into a huge franchise? Yes. But Hiccup became a bearded dad. 

Midsommar

Velvet Buzzsaw: I was expecting it to be better, but at least Gyllenhaal nakey. 

Brittany Runs a Marathon

Pet Sematary: Needed more Victor and I wasn’t a huge fan of the new ending. 

Pokémon Detective Pikachu

Kim Possible 

THE BOYS

Disclaimer: I have not read the comic. I didn’t write down as many notes as I could have because it was hard to take my eyes off the screen. 

The Name of the Game

Robin’s demise was horrific and shocking, but at least the show set its tone in the first episode. Hopefully we learn a lot more about her in season two. Because I kept expecting lots of flashbacks from Hughie. Robin deserves more scenes, darn it. 

It’s great this series tackles not just workplace harassment, but assault. More on that under “The Self-Preservation Society.”  

Uhhh, Translucent. Fight with Hughie and Billy was awesome. Hughie would probably be a better SO but there’s something about that invisible p3rv… Now Homelander I didn’t find that interesting until the end. Legally he’s a hero. That’s how Homelander presents himself to the world. But he’s basically a bastardized Superman-Captain America hybrid. Which is weirdly hot. Damn it, why is corruption sexy? Why?

Cherry

What if they blinded Translucent? Then they wouldn’t have had to kill him. :( Unless there’s a Supe with healing powers? 

Get Some

Poor Starlight. If I was in her place, I would have told them to eff off and started my own super team. Where we all wear sexy but practical armor. 

Okay, my notes say “Yandere Homelander?” I think this was the episode where he was spying on Stillwell’s br3ast pump. He is a lactophile. 

Are there any normal s3x scenes in this show? Poor Popclaw. Poor Aleksy.

The Female of the Species

Gosh, this show is dark. 

Good for the Soul

Popclaw, nooo. D:

Mother’s Milk, I’m Episcopal, too! I should make a list of Episcopal/Anglican characters. My favorite’s probably Geraldine Granger from The Vicar of Dibley. :D Anyway, I’m glad this episode calls out religious hypocrisy without making it seem like all worshippers are reactionaries. 

Other things I liked about this episode:

“You played my b/u/t/t like jazz.” Hughie blackmails. 

Laser baby.

“You’re my good boy.”

The Innocents

“They’re flexible, they take a pounding…” Puss/y poweh.

The Self-Preservation Society

The Deep getting assaulted is not something I expected at all. Gill pene/tration* would be disturbing even if it was consensual. Hopefully he’ll be able to empathize with Annie and his other victims. But he has to feel genuine remorse first. 

*I say this as a fan of mermen. Gills are nice. Gently stroking gills is nice. Anything beyond that is horrifying. 

You Found Me

Gosh, Homelander is evil. Get your boots off the couch! “You are dark, and I kind of like it.” I ship him and Billy now. 

Next personal post I’ll review more movies or the second reason of Supernatural.

[the-shared-brain-in-retrograde]

I apologise in advanced, on behalf of both of us, of what is soon to be unleashed.

love becks xoxo

Well, if that ain't me.

[lowkeyerror]

Scary Movies

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 971

Warnings: None

Summary: Y/n loves Halloween, but is absolutely terrified of Horror films. Natasha gets her to watch one with the Avengers and it goes just about as well as you think.

An: Fluffy, like the comedian

Halloween Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist

There were a few different types of people when it came to Halloween. There were the horror buffs, the Christians, the children, and the spooky, but not scary skeletons.

Y/n was definitely a spooky, but not scary skeleton. She adored Halloween, but not the scary parts. She loved decorations, candy, jack-o-lanterns, and even Halloween themed movies. Just not Horror.

The woman was easily scared. Which is why she refused to join her teammates during their scary movie marathon. While the rest of her friends were camping out in the den, she was alone in her room.

It was better this way. She couldn't have nightmares about dying a horrific death, if she avoided the material entirely.

She was in her bed, scrolling through her phone, when her bedroom door opened. She peeked over the screen to see her girlfriend in the doorway.

Natasha walked across the room and plopped herself in the bed. Her arms wrapped securely around Y/n's waist. She placed a gentle kiss on the woman's collarbone.

" What happened to the fright fest in the living room?"

Natasha caught her eyes," I'd rather be in here with you."

Y/n put her phone down," I sense ulterior motives."

Natasha's eyes darted away, "No, just wanted to be with my incredible girlfriend…"

Y/n squints her eyes," For a world renowned spy, you've never been good at lying to me."

She sighed, her hand found Y/n's, interlocking their fingers," Come watch a movie with us, just one."

Y/n shook her head," Natasha, you know I don't like horror movies. I don't get what's so fun about being terrified. "

" I'll protect you from the monsters," Natasha squeezes the other woman's hand.

Usually Y/n wouldn't have caved in so easily, but the mixture of her girlfriend begging and boredom was a formidable force.

" And the demons?"

" The demons, the witches, and murderers," Natasha kisses the back of Y/n's hand.

" Fine, one movie."

Y/n lets Natasha pull her out of bed and lead her to the den. Nat plops down in her seat next to Wanda and Y/n falls onto her lap.

" You guys have my venmo right?" Wanda speaks to the men of the team.

" Y/n, you hate scary movies," Clint complains.

" And you're so stubborn," Tony adds.

Steve shrugs," I told you guys not to bet against Wanda."

Y/n cuddles further into Natasha," Glad someone can profit off of my misery."

" Fear not Y/n, everything on the screen is fictional," Thor tries to comfort the girl.

" She knows that," Sam told him.

Bucky interjects," Well, unless it's based on a true story."

" Can we just put the movie on, before I change my mind," Y/n stops the chatter.

" We're watching SAW, just to warn you," Bruce's words cause Y/n to try to get up and leave.

Natasha's grip on the girl tightens," I promised to protect you, didn't I?"

" Saw is legitimately torture. We couldn't have done like Scream or Nightmare on Elm Street. Or any movie with bad editing and graphics that looks fake and unrealistic," Y/n begins to ramble.

" We watched those earlier," Tony shrugs at the girl.

The movie started and Natasha could feel Y/n's body stiffen. She peppered some light kisses behind the girl's ear. " I'll tell you when to close your eyes, ok? I've got you."

Y/n nodded then whispered," I trust you."

True to her word, Natasha signaled Y/n to close her eyes throughout the movie. There were times when Y/n wanted to close them, but Natasha promised her it wasn't bad. While Y/n still witnessed an abundance of the psychological torture, she missed most of the gore.

Hearing the sounds alone put the girl on edge. She was not having a good time at all. Y/n wished she'd stayed in her room. SAW was definitely a level 8 horror movie, and she could at most do a level 4.

Towards the middle of the movie, she was trembling in Natasha's arms. She kept muttering to herself every time something scary happened," I hate this. I hate this. I hate this."

Natasha felt bad seeing Y/n like that. Maybe it was a mistake forcing her to sit through the movie. Natasha had seen the movie plenty of times, she could miss the second half. Y/n needed her.

" Let's go baby," Natasha stood and Y/n clung to the spy like a koala.

The others were too enthralled with the gore to comment.

When they got back to the room, Y/n didn't let go of Natasha.

" Y/n, baby?"

The girl just buried her head deeper into Natasha's neck.

" I'm sorry, no more horror movies. I promise."

The girl still didn't respond. Natasha walked over to the bed and flopped on the bed with Y/n in her arms. That caused the scared girl to laugh a bit.

" Can we cuddle and watch Scary Godmother?"

" The cartoon?"

Y/n nodded rapidly," After so much psychological torture and murder, I need a cartoon."

" Anything you want, baby," Natasha made herself comfortable in bed.

"And um… no games for awhile," Y/n added as she started the PG-rated movie.

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows," Like any games? Or just-"

" All games," Y/n answered swiftly.

Natasha swung her arm around the woman," Got it, no games."

The two got comfortable watching the childish film. The scary thoughts that had swarmed Y/n's mind during the horror film were slowly making their way out. With the warmth radiating off of Natasha and the silly movie on the screen, she felt safe.

She was still not a big horror fan, but maybe it wasn't so bad if she ended up watching a childish movie in her girlfriend's arms.

[finelinevogue]

love me, please?

Description - harry forgets your birthday

A/N - oh hello! hope this is alright? this was supposed to be a really short concept and then i ended up writing an entire novel soooo yeah!

warnings: self deprecation, angst, death mention, smut

[masterlist]

Birthdays had never been a huge celebration for you.

Once you were past the point in which you could have playgroup parties with babies that you couldn't even communicate with, that was it. Unfortunately you never broke out of your shell at school, or even pre-school, always being the quiet kid who sat back and watched the world pass. No friends, so no birthday parties.

Sure you invited people to your party, but it was the showing up that people never quite managed to execute. Your favourite thing had always been writing the invitations anyways.

"Y/N, petal, you've got glue all over the kitchen table!" Your mum laughed at you. You were making birthday invitations for your 5th birthday party. It was going to be Disney themed and you were so excited when you saw Jungle Book and Lion King themed stickers in the supermarket one weekend. Your mum had bought them just to keep the happy smile on your face, explaining you could use them to decorate your invitations.

Your mum had written the key information for you, all you had to do was sign your name and the persons you were inviting, with the added bonus of going crazy with glitter and gel to decorate them nicely - not neatly.

"It's sticky mummy!" You giggled as you stuck and unstuck your hands to the table, laughing at the sound it was making.

You were on your last card, having completed 20 previously for all of your new classmates. There was now pink glitter all over the table, glued to your hands and even in your hair. A bath tonight was surely on the cards. The most important thing was that you were happy. Your mum didn't care that her kitchen table was a bomb sight, she was just happy to see a smile on your precious little face.

"Oh you are definitely your daddy's daughter!" Your mum laughed, you not really understanding what she meant but laughed along anyways.

The invitations were one of your proudest achievements - even still to this day. Even the envelopes had been decorated in pretty colours and cool stickers. All your classmates were sure to love them and now had something to look forwards to. Little 5 year old you couldn't have been more wrong.

"Mummy? Why is no one here yet?" You asked her, as you walked into the kitchen where everything had been set up for you.

Your kitchen table was glue-free, but not cake-free. The table had a plastic Disney cover over the top of it which then was the foundation for cakes, sausage rolls, quiches, jammie dodgers and pizza. The kitchen smelt marvellous and your dad was already sitting at the kitchen table eating a pork pie. Your birthday cake was a Disney castle and it looked fantastic - one that you couldn't wait to show your classmates.

The invitation had stated to be over at your house for 5pm, so at 5:45pm your small brain didn't understand why no one had showed up yet. Did you tell them the wrong day? Wrong time? Wrong address?

Your mum turned around from where she was washing some dishes, drying her hands before crouching down on the floor in front of you.

"Honey baby. I don't think they're coming, sweetheart." Your mum spoke softly, pushing strands of hair behind your ear. She watched your eyes widen and your lips pout with a slight tremor. A mother should never have to tell their child that no one RSPV'd to your invitations, and she never wanted you to find out.

"Oh. Maybe they're just late?" You asked with hope in your voice and eyes. Your mum was so proud of you.

"Yes, baby. They're just late." And she didn't regret lying to you as your smile widened once again with happiness.

Your classmates never turned up.

Your 5th birthday ended up with you, your mum and your dad eating until bellies full on the sofa watching a marathon of Disney movies. The cake was cut and happy birthday was sung at the top of your parents voices. Tears were shed from you, saddened that your classmates couldn't make your special day. Your mum made up something nice, which you can't remember now, about why they never showed and you would never be more thankful for her.

The next week at school you'd taken in a slice of birthday cake for everyone, even offering one to your teacher. Maybe the cake would help you to get friends and encourage them to your next birthday party, you thought. It didn't and it didn't get you invited to theirs either.

So throughout school you shut yourself out from the world, convinced it would hurt you even more than it already had. No friends meant no hurt, at least you believed. 18 years of no parties, no presents and no singing of happy birthday from anyone but your beloved parents. University was slightly better, but it was still not perfect.

Perfect didn't come until Harry.

God was he just perfect. How you ever managed to get him to take a second glance at you was an impossible question with an impossible answer.

Harry had saved you from a period in your life where pain was the overbearing emotion in your life. Your parents had been in a car accident, completely paralysing your mum's body and her mind. Your dad hadn't made it. The only man you love and he had left you. Your mum was barely responsive anymore. You had turned to dangerous and self-destructive habits, not understanding why the world had always been so cruel to you.

A friend, one of your flatmates from university, had recommended a therapy group that was free and genuinely effective.

It was the best thing you ever did for yourself.

Being with a group of people that you could relate to made you feel less alone and more acceptive of your feelings. Stories differed depending on the person and the week, but yet you all shared common emotions and thoughts which is why you felt so connected to these strangers. It's why you felt so connected to Harry.

He was sat next to you one Tuesday morning, completely silent. You weren't oblivious to the outside world, however hard you tried to stay out of it, so you knew who Harry Styles was and the story that came with him. But you didn't, at least not the story that you thought was true.

Harry was suffering his own pain, through the loss of loved ones and destructive habits - just like you - and so it made it easy for you to confide in him. Introducing yourself to him was the hardest part, especially because of how quiet and solitary he was during your sessions. With a second glance at you, though, he knew you were someone special.

It was your smile. Always had been.

Endless coffee dates and movie nights in, catching up on all the Disney movie marathons you never did before, made you fall for him. You really, really, liked him and it turned out he really, really, liked you too.

A few months later and it was official. You were officially Harry Styles girlfriend. And you still are.

•••••

"Baby?"

You were woken up to a slight shake on your body by the most warming hands. You opened your eyes softly, adjusting to the light ever so slowly. The room was filled with sunlight from behind the see-through, cotton, curtains of your apartment. It was a beautiful morning. Actually, it was a beautiful birthday morning.

Your perfect boyfriend sat next to where you lay on your bed, topless for you to see his beautiful golden chest. He smiled down upon you and you felt at home instantly.

"Hmm." You hummed to acknowledge you were alive and responsive.

"I'm going now, ok?" Harry spoke quietly still, not wanting to be too loud upon awakening you. You would've thought it to be quite considerate, until you realised that Harry was leaving you and on your birthday.

Today was your birthday and your first one with Harry. You thought that the day would've been magical and full of laughter and love, but now it was going to be just like any other birthday. This time you weren't going to have your mum or dad around to help you make it through the day with a smile on your face. This time you'd be doing it alone.

"What?" You pouted, thinking that maybe it was a trick or a joke. Surely he couldn't have forgotten?

Harry knew of all your horrible past - including the awful memory of your 5th birthday. You always hoped that Harry would make you love your special day again, but it seemed like he universe had other plans. Those plans including making you sad and lonely.

"You're too cute! I'll see you later." He kissed you on your button nose and got up from the bed. He clearly didn't realise what day it was or how important it was.

You don't blame him that he couldn't remember. Compared to the amount of stuff going on in his life right now this was deeply insignificant. A new tour, a new album and a new line of clothes? You and your birthday were the last thing that was going to be on your mind.

It took all of 5 minutes for Harry to be gone.

He didn't live permanently in your apartment. You didn't in his either. It was still the early doors of your relationship, only 5 months and 3 weeks to be specific actually, so living together was still a long way off. You didn't mind the thought of living with him, but you were too scared to bring it up to Harry just in case you chased him off. Hell, you hadn't even told him you loved him yet.

God, did you love him though.

Anytime you were sad he would buy you your favourite flowers; white carnations. Anytime you were hungry he would be there with your favourite Thai takeaway. Anytime you were scared he'd be there to hold your hand in the dark. Anytime you needed him he was there, phone or physically it depended but he was always there.

Except from today. The day you needed him most. That wouldn't stop you loving him with every beat of your heart.

This was your first birthday without your parents and it was proving difficult. You hadn't even gotten out of bed and you'd already created a little swimming pool of salty tears. It was already too much. It was like a rerun of your 5th birthday, but you actually were more aware of what was going on around yourself now. You didn't have any friends to be angry at, mainly because you didn't have any. Your family was long gone. Your Harry, well he was needed elsewhere presumably.

A check to your phone on the bedside table made everything so much worse. No birthday messages at all - not even from Snapchat because you hadn't set your birthday to the right date. Your phone was free of any notifications. Your heart free of love.

You let your tears drip until your eyes became too sore to cry anymore. You cried for yourself, but you cried more so for your parents. Your mum couldn't even message you if she wanted to and if you went to see her she wouldn't be able to look at you, let alone wish you happy birthday. You only wished your dad maybe was looking down upon you, proud of how strong you were. You definitely didn't feel strong, but anyone else would think otherwise.

Looking around your room you noticed Harry had left a t-shirt for you - the same one he had slept in last night. You unfolded it and raised it to your nose to inhale his precious scent. It was warm and musky, just as you hoped it would be. You slipped off your vest top you'd worn to bed, adding on a bra in between, and chucking on Harrys top. Being drowned in his comfort was relaxing.

You slipped on a pair of denim blue mom jeans and found a jumper to add on too. You weren't really planning anything special for your special day. You were just going to give yourself time to think, breathe and grow. Self healing was something you were still working on, seeing as you didn't attend group therapy anymore. They had told you that you should be proud of how far you'd come and that, should you want to, they would feel comfortable if you didn't want to come anymore. Now, you journaled and used that as an outlet for any sadness or anger. You no longer wanted to be the person you were before therapy.

So yeah, you hoped your dad - mum even - was proud of you.

•••••

Cake was your best friend.

You weren't entirely sure what made a best friend any different from a friend, but then again you had never had the pleasure of having either. Either way, you just knew that a best friend had to feel how you did towards cake - or Harry.

After watching a few episodes of Teen Wolf you decided to go to the shops and buy yourself a birthday cake. You were lucky the supermarket had options. Red velvet, vanilla, chocolate, chocolate-orange. It was heaven. The one screamed out to you the most though was a small, almost muffin-sized cake, with glitter pink frosting on the top. It reminded you of those invitations all those years ago.

Sat in your tiny kitchen you put a candle in your cake and turned off the lights in the kitchen. The flame lit up the room and made your face warm as you leant close, taking a deep breathe.

"Happy birthday to me..." You began to sing strong, letting yourself pretend that an encore of people were singing with you. There wasn't though. It was just you. Although the singing started off well, towards the end your voice was breaking and too cracked to even get the words. You blew out the candle before even making wish, understanding that they never came true now.

The lights were turned back on and you tucked the cake into a little box for later, placing the burnt out candle next to it. You were looking forward to having it with a cup of tea.

Tears must be a necessity for your birthday, because you were sure you haven't gone a year without them. Especially this year. Everything was so much heavier and worse this year. You'd lost so much, yet also gained someone so special. Thinking about Harry made you miss him incredibly so, making you pull out your phone to text him to see if he was okay.

To Harry: hope you're having a good day xx

At least you hoped he was having a better day than you were. Harry's schedule had been so busy recently and yet he was always still making time for you, so you completely understood that this one time he couldn't budge stuff - even if it was your day. You would never want to feel like a burden to Harry or make him feel pressured into staying with you when there's more important matters at hand.

From Harry: Boring meetings :(

From Harry: I might not be able to come around tonight, too :(

As if your day couldn't get worse, it just did.

You and Harry didn't have a schedule for staying over at each other's houses, but you had secretly wished upon your favourite star that he would be able to be with you tonight. It was okay though. Maybe he could be with your tomorrow? At least you'd got to see him on your birthday, kind of. Technically you'd had early birthday sex last night too.

To Harry: that's alright H, as long as you're okay and safe xx

From Harry: Of course, baby :) xx

You so badly wanted to type back the three words you have been holding back to say, but you refrained yourself. He might not want to say it back yet. He might not want to say it at all.

It was understandable if he didn't want to. He had never told a past girlfriend he loved them before - he had told you himself. The media portrayed him as always being "in love" but he never had been. He wasn't sure what love actually felt like. To you, though, love felt like him. Everything he embodied was love. So badly did you want to scream that to him, but you weren't ready to become another ex-girlfriend of Harry Styles.

Wiping the tears from your swollen eyes you put your phone on the side and bit your lip to stop the next batch of tears from coming.

It was endless.

You missed your parents so much. Your mum was still alive, but she definitely wasn't here anymore. She couldn't feed herself and she can't talk. What kind of a life is that worth living? You only hoped that your dad had found peace.

Thinking of your dad gave you an idea you should've thought of the moment you got out of bed. A visitation with him.

•••••

The rain had never been so comforting.

Normally you hated how it smelt on the damp ground and how it woke you up in the middle of the night, but right now, as it battered down against you, you'd never felt more alive. It had woken you up and given you a few smiles along the way.

You'd put on your black anorak and new Doc Martins to match, before heading outside into the showers. You ran across pedestrian crossings on green lights and jumped into every puddle you came across, no matter how small or big. You were giving yourself a happy memory to remember this day by. A gift from you to you - your only gift.

The rain had completely soaked your clothes and even your hair - which had been covered by your hood the entire time. It was quite humid outside, for the moment, so the cold and damp of the rain hadn't hit you yet.

You'd stopped off at a coffee shop along the way - the one by the river front with the lightbulb bunting decorating the outside courtyard. You bought yourself a steaming hot black coffee with fresh whipped cream and a spoonful of chocolate syrup, enjoying the peaceful view as you drank your perfect cuppa. It was so creamy and warm that it brought a bit of pink back to your cold cheeks.

It was just after 3 that you reached the cemetery. No one else but you was present.

The feelings of joy and happiness had gone. It wasn't that you weren't happy, but more that you felt you couldn't be happy in a place of such sadness and loss.

Rows upon rows of grave headstones lined the cemetery, some of which were now swamped in puddles of water. The grass squelched beneath your feet as you walked the length of the cemetery to find your dad. His headstone was a lot newer than the surrounding ones and always had fresh flowers laid on it - something that you would forever be doing.

Once you'd reached it you had to re-read the writing several times for you to believe that this was even real. It was so hard to accept that he was gone. The denial was so strong, even now after a year.

You dropped to your knees, muddying them with the wet grass, letting out the sobs as you did so.

"D-ad." Your voice, or your heart, had never been so broken. "Co-come back? I-I still n-eed you." You weren't strong enough for this. The tears were impossible to even feel with the added rain, but the way your eyes hurt and stung you knew they were there.

You looked up at the sky as if to believe your dad might just drop from it. You weren't sure where you stood on the idea of heaven, but you were liked the idea that your dad had been taken somewhere safe and that he could be watching over you. Your beliefs in God were completely skewed too. How could there be someone watching over everyone's lives? And if there was then how come they didn't save your mum and dad? No creator would let that happen.

Every part of your body ached.

A birthday should be spent surrounded by people who you love and who love you. It should involve cheers as you cut your cake and loud singing before you do. Presents are mandatory, even if you pretend you don't want anything. Lots and lots of food and drink, not forgetting the pizza ever. It should involve bug balloons and even bigger celebrations, as you take endless photos to remember an evening especially dedicated to you. Party hats and crackers were not optional. Birthday sex was fun too, as long as it's controlled and safe. Hugs and kisses were just a lovely and sweet, especially via the people who mean most to your heart.

A birthday shouldn't be spent alone, in the rain, at your dad's grave though.

Life had never been easy for you, but you thought that maybe, after meeting Harry, it would turn around for you. That maybe, birthdays wouldn't be such a thing to forget. Instead, you wanted to slip out of today and disappear.

"I-I really r-really miss you d-dad." You choked over your cries, holding your mouth off your hand as if to soften your sobs. "I-i'm trying t-to be strong b-ut, shit," you had to stop to calm yourself down, your chest almost bursting outwards, "but, I-I can't do this wi-without you."

"Please c-come back t-to me. Please dad." You shuffled yourself onto the actual tomb of the grave, where it was marbled stone, and curled yourself into the tightest ball on your side. You wanted to feel as close to your dad as possible and you felt this was the only way how.

All those memories of him were starting to fade and you felt guilty that one day you weren't going to be able to remember his face, or his voice, without looking at a photo, or a video of him. "I-i'm s-so s-orry." You kept repeating, through your choked cries. Your heart hurt and was definitely broken. If you were filled with love before, then you were filled with sorrow now.

The cold of the marble grounded you. The rain smashing down over your body attempted to keep you awake and wash away your tears, but not for long. Your eyes became too sore to keep open and your body became too cold, shivering actually, to have the energy to keep you awake that your body decided to shut you down.

•••••

Warmth enveloped you entirely.

Your eyelids struggled to open, but once they were free you were confused as to where you were. Your head hurt quite a bit, probably from all the crying, and your eyes stung so bad, again probably from all the crying, but at least you were warm and in...Harry's bed?

It was only then that you noticed that you were genuinely in Harrys bed. His comfortable duvet engulfed you completely, making you look like a caterpillar in a cocoon. The weather outside was still raining. Speaking of, your clothes were changed into a different t-shirt of Harry's and a pair of his boxers. You felt so safe and warm - completely different to how you had been feeling before. There was still the question of how you got here and where Harry was though?

You pushed back the covers and allowed yourself to stretch, breathing in the soft, dewy, air. The window was open and you could feel the humidity from the outside creeping in. Checking your phone, sans notifications, you checked the time to see it was now 7pm and still your birthday. Padding across the carpet you made it into the en suite bathroom, getting a glimpse at yourself for the first time in ages. You would be fine if someone called you horrendous right now, because you seriously did. The bags under your eyes were black and your skin had lost its' natural glow, plus your hair was taking inspiration from Albert Einstein.

Peeling off Harrys clothes you realised how cold you were and how ready you were to have a nice warm shower. Ease the muscles back to life and give a bit of warmth back to your cheeks.

Harry's shower was big enough to fit five people in, it was huge. It had two shower heads that hung from the ceiling, each individually controlled. The floor was tiled black and the walls and ceiling painted a dark grey. You often said it reminded you of being in a cave. You walked into the shower, turning on the one further away from the door entrance, standing back for a minute to let it warm up to how you liked it.

Once it was rushing hot you stepped underneath and let out a relieved sigh. You instantly felt your muscles melt to the touch and let the warmth encapsulate you. You tilted your head back underneath the shower head and let the water cascade over you. It was like being back in the fun rain, but this time it was comfortingly warm.

You picked up Harry's shampoo and ran it through your hair, washing away any bad feelings in the process. The shampoo smelt like coconut and pineapple - it smelt like Harry. Tilting your head back, again, you allowed the shampoo to wash out by itself before tangling your own fingers through it to complete rid it of soap suds. This moment was so peaceful and so calming, you never wanted it to end. Visiting your dad, whilst you thought might've been a good idea, really had not been.

But you just missed him.

Missing Harry began to cross your mind, too, until it didn't have to anymore.

The feeling of a hand resting on your hip and bringing its' way around to your stomach - so slowly - made your breath hitch in your throat. You moved your head back to its' normal place and closed your eyes at the feeling. Another hand placed itself on your ribs and wrapped itself around your torso, higher than the other. You were being hugged, and tightly. You hummed delightfully at the feeling and tilted your head back to rest against the body of your favourite person.

You knew it was him. His touch. His smell. His breathe. His little curls touching the back of your head as he leant over. You knew it was your Harry. No one ever brought you as much comfort as he did.

Slowly, you turned around in his hold and opened your eyes to see his dreamy ones looking right back at you. You noticed a slight sadness in his eyes and felt suddenly powerless that you hadn't been there for whatever pain he was experiencing. You brought your hand up to caress his cheek and stroke over your favourite freckle, next to his mouth, before leaning up to press your lips against his. If the shower couldn't wash away his sadness, then hopefully your love for him could.

Your mouth melted onto his perfectly. He tasted divine. Sweet, and yet lustful. The kiss was wet and imperfect, just how you both liked it.

"N-no no no. Stop, baby. This isn't fair on you, stop." Harry broke away from the kiss, but keeping your cheeks held strongly between his hands that he'd removed from your body.

"But I can see you're sad." You pouted, locking your eyes to his to make sure you didn't lose him.

"Y/N baby stop. No. I'm sad because i'm disappointed in myself," you gave him a questioning look, "for forgetting your birthday."

"Oh." You tore your eyes away from him, feeling silly that he might've been upset over something so huge and deal-breaking - but it was just your birthday. "Yeah, you did." You nodded your head, looking anywhere but at his eyes, because you would surely break if you did see them. You didn't want Harry to blame himself like this.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I'm so sorry." He whispered, kissing your head a few times. You let out a few tears at first, before they turned into dramatic sobs. You weren't crying because you were sad, but more that you were relieved that Harry had remembered now and was holding you close to him.

The fact he was here was enough.

"It's oka—"

"No it's not okay baby. It's not. I've been waiting for this for so long, planning so many ideas to make sure that you'd have the best birthday in the existence of birthdays. Now i've ruined that and i've ruined it for you. You deserve nothing less than your weight in gold, my love, and i'm sorry I couldn't deliver that." Harry cut you off. Your heart warmed to the idea that he had been working on ideas for you for some time and that he was comparing you to priceless items. "What can I do to make it up to you? Anything at all."

It didn't take much thinking to decide what you wanted. Him. All of him, completely.

"Love me, please?" You asked, looking up at him timidly to see whether or not he felt the same. It was obvious the moment his eyes shone like diamonds and his frown turned into a simple smile that he was more than happy to love you.

"Baby, I swear i'll love you for the rest of my life." He whispered to you so closely, before smashing his lips right back on top of yours.

The way his lips were moving against yours, you knew this would be a night you would both remember forever. Harry was adamant to show you just how much you meant to him, the same way you wanted to show him. Tonight you would give each other your hearts and cherish them whenever, wherever and forever.

You whimpered into the kiss, especially when Harry pulled back to take a breathe.

"Okay, okay ssh. Calm down and let me make you feel good now, yeah?" Harry cooed. Clearly you were desperate and Harry was so excited to give you absolutely anything you desired.

Your simple touch was enough to have Harry crumbling at the knees. Just the thought of having his cock into your mouth, or cunt, was embarrassingly enough to make you cum on the spot. You felt Harry's cock becoming painfully hard against your stomach, as you pressed against him. Just thinking about the endless scenarios of how tonight could go was enough to make you forget that, up until now, today had been awful.

Your kissing was absolutely filthy and you would never have guessed such a pure looking angel, as Harry, could be such a devil.

You nodded your head in confirmation to Harry's previous remark, trying to get your lips anywhere you could - marking your territory as you did so.

"No, no, angel. I need to hear you say it." Harry ordered you. Harry was a man strict about consent and was never going to force you to do anything you didn't want to do, especially at the cost of him losing you. No, Harry was planning on holding on to you forever if you'd let him.

"Harry p-please just do anything, please." You begged, tugging at the scruff of hair on the back of his neck. You liked it hard, obviously, and hard is what Harry was going to give you.

"Okay, baby. I'm going you take care of you now." Harry whispered one final time before wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you tight against my body. Harry carried you out of the shower, still dripping wet, and over to the bed - dropping you down where he knew you was safe. One too many times has Harry accidentally left you to roll on to the floor, but tonight he would never forgive himself if he did so.

You were panting ridiculously hard and Harry couldn't begin to imagine what you'd be like afterwards.

You were dying to have Harry's face between your thighs, so that's exactly what he did.

"You, my angel, are breathtaking." Harry complimented softly, unsure whether you'd be able to hear him over your heavy breathing. However, by the way you blushed a soft pink and turned your eyes away from him, you definitely did. Harry laughed at how someone could look so innocent when they're about to get absolutely ruined.

"H baby, just fuck me already." You whined, and it was weird to hear such vulgar words even slip out of your mouth. It didn't feel right. Normally you were so quiet and shy, but something about the atmosphere tonight had turned you on so much more than normal. You guess you could say your wild side was coming out - not that Harry minded in the slightest.

"I will baby, I promise. Just want to have a taste first." Harry told you, moving towards your thighs. From there he would already see your cunt was completely ruined and the smell of your sweetened arousal was just overwhelming.

You were going to be the death of him.

"Please H." Harry had told you that only you could be the one to call him H. It was reserved for your mouth only. It felt right hearing it come from you.

Harry kissed your inner thighs and left a mark or two, too. Your breathing became more laboured as Harry slowly reached your centre. He watched your chest rise and fall rapidly, showing you were boosted with envious amounts of adrenaline. Harry kissed once over your precious little mound and it was already enough for you to whimper under his touch. You were not at all prepared for what was to come.

Harry kept kissing her slowly, taking his time to really appreciate this moment. However by the frustrated look on her cute face, she was not liking it as much because he wasn't kissing her in the right places. Without any warning, Harry grabbed your hips and pulled you closer towards his mouth.

"Fuck baby, you're all so pretty for me." Harry ran his hands up your smooth thighs, gaining distance towards your soaked core. You moaned when you saw that cross on his hand, finding something so miniature so dirty. You were practically dripping for Harry now. "All this for me, lovie?" Harry asked, just to hear you say yes and boost his ego.

"Y-you know it is H." You whined, bucking your hips up sightly as if you were the one in charge here. No. You would be getting what you deserve and when you deserve it. Although, saying that, you knew that Harry would give you absolutely anything if you asked for it.

Harry pulled you as close to him as possible. You were laying, now, on the edge of the bed and Harry was kneeling on the floor at the perfect height to give you what you wanted.

"Mhm, thought so." He smirked, but before you could even respond to his egotistical comment Harry licked a long stripe up you folds. Jesus.

You sighed so dreamily, caught up in your own bliss. Harry watched as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you grabbed to the sheets beside you for stability.

"God." You sighed, bucking your hips up after just one touch of his tongue. Harry gave you what you wanted though, pressing his mouth back to your heat. He started to lick into you more, slow enough this would be a night you would remember forever - Harry would make sure of it.

Harry moved slow enough to be able to lap all of of your juices into his mouth, but fast enough that you wouldn't be able to think of anything but the blissful sensations.

"Not even God can help you now, angel." Harry spoke against your core, sending tantalising vibrations throughout your body. You could already see the goosebumps stand proudly against your fair skin. You moaned at his words and his mouth. He effortlessly continued to glide his tongue through your folds, whilst you were shaking for your release - a release you knew Harry wasn't quite ready to give you yet. At least, not before he worked his fingers through you.

After a few more sucks and licks from his mouth, your juices already dribbling down his chin, he didn't warn you before pushing two fingers in to you. Your back arched at the feeling and ungodly sounds made music from your lips.

"Yes, H baby. Please." You whined at the new sensation, adjusting almost perfectly. God were you so tight though and Harry couldn't even begin to think about how you were going to take his cock. Harry didn't like to brag, but he wouldn't say he's exactly lacking down there - you can confirm that firsthand.

"Yeah? Does it feel good baby?" Harry asked, wanting some reassurance from you. Although this isn't your first night together, you still wanted to make it as perfect as possible for each other - especially after the day you'd had and revelations made in the shower.

"So s-o good Harry. Want more though.." You whimpered. He wasn't giving you enough? Well that just wouldn't do.

"You want more? Okay, baby." Harry brings you even closer to him so his fingers push even deeper in to you. His fingers began to move at such a fast pace, you couldn't even form verbal sentences anymore. All you could hear were your soft purrs and moans, and the wet sounds of his fingers sliding in and out of you. He wanted to push you over the edge though, so he attached his mouth back to your sensitive clit and sucked harshly.

Lord, help you.

You began to thrash around a bit more now, clearly working towards your release. Harry's fingers and mouth didn't stop though. He curled his fingers right up to the spot which he knew would have you shaking the most whilst continuing to suck on the areas that gave you brilliant shivers. You were completely powerless underneath him and you could tell Harry was thriving off the control.

"Harry, please, please." You begged, but for what? - he wanted to hear you say.

"What baby?" He asked deviously, knowing exactly what you wanted and he would be lying if he said he didn't want it either. Harry already knew what you tasted like, but he wanted it all now. He wanted the taste of a full release and to see it dripping out of your cunt.

"I'm going.. I'm- i'm going to cum." You panted, finding it hard to speak the words due to how much Harry was focusing on bringing you to your release.

"Yeah? You going to cum for me?" Harry asked, before not wasting another second away from your delicious peach. You seriously were going to make Harry cum without you even touching him, at this point.

"Yes! Please H!" Your chest moved so rapidly it looked like you were going into cardiac arrest. Harry was just that good and the bastard knew it too. He moved his fingers as fast as he could, hitting the deep spots which he knew made you toes curl. His mouth attached to your sweet tasting clit once again and he ran his tongue in tiny circles, sucking harshly too, trying to push you over the edge as best as he could.

"Cum for me then." Was all he had to mumble before you did - and a lot harder than either of you had expected right on to his tongue. Every last drop gets drained into his mouth and Harry felt as though he'd been fed for a thousand lives. Harry continued to work his fingers through your release, leaving his tongue to lap everything up. You tasted like everything he'd ever wanted. You were a beautiful creation - his beautiful creation. Him, looking at you trying to regain your breathing, butterflies lacing your chest, felt so surreal.

You're all he wanted to think about for the rest of his life. And that's just how you felt too.

"You okay, darling?" He asked, moving up off his knees and standing to hover over you as you laid spent out on the bed. Finally your eyes caught his, and God were you so in love with those precious orbs. He couldn't be real. Your hair was messy and eyes were teary from a slight overstimulation, but to Harry you looked utterly perfect.

"I love you." You smiled, slightly dazed. You brought Harry down by the nape of his neck and your hand, planting your lips on to his. You explored his mouth with your tongue, tasting the remanence of yourself coating his mouth.

"I love you." He made sure you knew, kissing you again softly as if he hadn't just been unholy and licked you dry.

••••

Hours later you were both completely spent. You couldn't stop yourselves from wanting more and more and more. In total, and yes you had been counting, Harry had had his head between your legs four times, you had sucked him off twice and neither of you could even put a number on how many times you had sex. More times than you had fingers though, that's for sure.

You was completely enamoured by him.

You laid on top of him as if you didn't have cum still dripping out of your cunt on to the bed sheets. You wanted to keep in this position forever. Your hair was ridiculously messy, spread out upon the soft, white, linen and you looked too beautiful for Harry to accept you were real. You were his. Your breathing was coming down steadily, whilst Harry's was still very frantic.

You did that to him. You made him so goddamn breathless.

Just before you could pass out from exhaustion, you felt his breath fan against you - mumbling out a few quiet words onto your heart.

"Y/N?" He breathed out, clearly on the verge of sleep too - although you were not surprised with what you'd experienced this evening.

"Yeah?" You asked back. You moved to snuggle your face closer in to his chest, feeling the complete softness of his, rapidly, beating chest against your warm cheek. Harry could only think to pull you closer. Harry's arms tightened and his legs interlocked further with yours further. He smelt divine still and looked completely fucked out.

You wanted to see him this way beyond infinity.

"Happy birthday." He spoke again and you knew he wouldn't be speaking again until the morning now. You didn't care though.

You didn't understand what you did to deserve this man, letting you lay so purely on top of him, but in this moment you felt alive. For the first time in a long time you were actually awake. There was no booze or drugs keeping you excited or high this time though, no. Self destruction ended a long time ago. He was your drug - your own brand of cocaine. You were his, just as he would claim he was yours. Life had never been to kind to you, so to have Harry here now felt like maybe you were finally reaching the other side of the darkened rainbow.

You placed a gentle kiss over his heart, watching his rapid breathing slow at the simple gesture. He was so in love with you, just as you were with him.

When you woke the next you would come to find the whole house decorated. Balloons, bunting, sparkles, fairy lights and photos littered everywhere. The whole of Harrys apartment would be transformed into a beautiful mess of happiness and love. He would explain how sorry he was again and that today was going to be full of celebrations instead. He would sing you happy birthday, along with a new song he'd written just for you - only for you. He would gift you presents beyond your imagination. He would shower you in so much love to leave you sore for days.

Most importantly, he would hold your hand tight as you visited your dad once more and said hello to your mum. He would be there through your toughest moments and he promised to never miss another one of your birthdays - and if he did, then you were allowed to post his nudes on the internet. As much as you would appreciate the effort he put into the day, with all the decorations and fun activities, nothing would compare to laying on the couch with your favourite Thai food and having Disney marathon.

[yeoandmoon]

heat lightning ( yeosang x fem!reader x wooyoung )

smut + fluff, besties!woosang, poly dynamics, alcohol consumption, use of names (babylove, baby, honey, whore), cunnilingus, fingering, praise kink, implied degradation kink, vague dom/sub themes, wc is 2.3k

NOTE: i don’t know what to say about this other than i fully believe wooyoung would pull out the most unbelievable petnames and use them everywhere and anywhere he can. also this was supposed to be in the same realm as one of my earlier fics but it became a little more of a rewrite? so thats fun!

To you, Yeosang’s arms were one of the comfiest spots in the known world. 

It was often a thought that crossed your mind when you found yourself in these situations - the situation being you leaning back against your best friend’s chest as you both watched your other best friend dance around your bedroom while an episode of your favourite show played on your old tv behind him.

Yeosang’s chest rumbled with laughter as you both watched Wooyoung twirl around, trying not to spill the wine in the glass he was holding. Your eyes began to roam, taking in the sight in front of you. Wooyoung wasn’t wearing a shirt but an open cardigan rested on his shoulders, framing his toned stomach and chest. The small Spanish script that laid on his ribcage always took your breath away; it stood out on his tan skin (and he had nearly broken your hand when you had taken him to get it).

Your eyes had begun to travel lower - to the spot where you knew Wooyoung’s second tattoo laid on his thigh. You hadn’t noticed your mouth had begun to go dry or the atmosphere in the room getting hotter as Yeosang’s grip on your waist tightened.

“What are you looking at, honey?” Yeosang’s voice shook you out of your stupor, causing you to gasp as you looked up at him. You felt his fingers rub small circles into the sliver of skin between your shirt and pajama shorts. He had a small smile playing at his lips as he watched you, “Hm?”

You closed and opened your mouth, “N-Nothing.” You finally mustered, your eyes scanning over Yeosang’s face. He almost looked amused.

“You know, it almost seemed like you were eyeing up Wooyoungie over there.” Yeosang hums, his own eyes glancing at the younger boy who had since stopped his movements.

You weren’t a stranger to doing things with your best friends. At this point, you might almost be silly not to just call them your lovers. The nights you spent with them, things that start as Adventure Time marathons or Marvel movie nights, almost always end in you screaming their names with cum dripping out of one of your holes. People always mistook you three as being together, and after a while... none of you stopped them from that assumption.

(“You three make a lovely couple!”

“Oh, we’re not a cou-”

“We’re lucky, aren’t we?”)

In fact, you were almost certain you had seen Yeosang throwing death glares at people who tried to come close to you or Wooyoung at parties. You sometimes would feel Yeosang’s grip on your hand tighten, pulling you closer into his side as you caught a glimpse of a rejected person stalking off in the other direction. It made your chest feel fuzzy and warm in a way you were too scared to analyze.

Wooyoung had begun to climb onto the bed, once again knocking you back into reality. He had abandoned the glass of wine on the bedside table, and you could see the red had stained his lips.

You wanted to taste it. You wanted the red stained on your lips too - almost like a mark on you.

Wooyoung had begun to settle in the open spot between you and Yeosang’s tangled limbs, and he was watching you with a teasing glint in his eyes and a smile akin to a cat spreading over his lips. You knew that look well, and you could already feel the warmth spreading through your body as Wooyoung leaned down, invading your bubble.

“What’s on your mind, babylove?” He asked you, cupping your cheek softly.

You struggled to answer. You were beginning to feel lightheaded between the two men; Yeosang was pressing messy kisses down your neck while Wooyoung’s eyes bore into you.

“Y-You.” You finally say, your voice shaking as Yeosang begins to suck a small hickey into your neck, “You look pretty, Woo.”

Wooyoung’s cheeks turned a soft pink as he smiled down at you, “Yeah?”

You nod, a small gasp escaping your mouth as Yeosang moves from your neck, resting his head on your shoulder so he could watch Wooyoung as well, “They’re right. You do look pretty.”

Yeosang’s deep voice sent a shiver down your spine, and his arm tightened around your form as he dragged you closer into his warmth. You could feel Wooyoung’s hands on your thighs, gently pushing them apart so he could settle closer to you.

“Do you want something from me, Y/N?” Wooyoung asks, his hands slowly running up your thighs until his fingertips gently rested under the hem of your shorts.

You can feel Yeosang’s hands tighten on your waist as you watch Wooyoung shift closer; closer to the spot you need him most. You can feel how wet you’re becoming, despite how little both men have done.

You glance down at Wooyoung’s stained lips again. Your brain feels fuzzy at the thought of continuing without a kiss from Wooyoung, and you can hardly stop your hands from moving forward to cup his face, “Please kiss me.”

There’s hardly time to gauge Wooyoung’s reaction before he’s lunging forward to capture your lips in a searing kiss. You’re knocked back against Yeosang as you kiss Wooyoung back, cupping the back of his neck to hold him close to you. His lips are soft, and he tastes like the red wine he had been drinking moments before. It’s an addicting feeling; being close to Wooyoung and Yeosang like this… It creates a hunger in you.

It’s a hunger that consumes you to the core, but it also fills you with warmth and a sense of belonging. When Wooyoung pulls away from the harsh kiss, he smiles down at you with a warm smile that fills your tummy with butterflies. Yeosang’s hand gently runs down your arm, and it causes goosebumps to rise in the path of his touch while Wooyoung leans down to kiss your nose before kissing the palm of the hand that still holds his cheek.

“Was that all you wanted, babylove?” Wooyoung glances down at you, taking your hand from his cheek and entwining your fingers with his, “Just a little kiss?”

You shake your head, resting your head against Yeosang’s shoulder, “Touch me, Woo… I-I want you to touch me.”

Wooyoung’s smile grows and his eyes shift to look at Yeosang over your shoulder, “They want me to touch them,” He giggles, “I’m already holding them, so I’m a little confused what they want, Sangie.”

You whine at Wooyoung’s response because you know he knew what you meant. He knows what you want from him.

Yeosang’s hand is gentle in its movements to undo the string on your shorts as he chuckles behind you, “I think they want you to touch their little pussy,” He’s blunt in his response, “They want you to fuck their little hole, Youngie.”

You feel your face begin to heat as your best friends talk about you; about how you want Wooyoung to fuck you. Wooyoung’s eyes snap back to you, though the cheshire grin is still present on his pretty face.

“Is Yeosang right, baby?” He hums as you nod. He hums as if he’s considering dinner on a menu, “You want me to touch your pretty pussy?”

“Woo… Wooyoung, please don’t tease me.” You plead with your best friend. He had a habit of riling you up and pushing you until you’re begging him to make you cum, but right now you were aching for his touch. You already felt half gone just from Yeosang’s simple touches and Wooyoung’s lips, and you didn’t know how much you could really take of Wooyoung’s teasing.

Wooyoung’s hands move to the waistband of your shorts, “You did use your manners,” He huffs as he peels your shorts and panties down your legs, “I suppose I could eat you out.”

Despite his teasing and dejected tone, Wooyoung’s cheshire smile had barely faltered and he let out a small giggle at the sight of your frantic nodding. All three of you knew one of Wooyoung’s favourite activities was eating you out, and this was hardly a chore for him.

If it were up to Jung Wooyoung, he’d have you for every meal and then some.

You let out a small gasp as the cool air in your room hit your now exposed wet core. Your hand tightened its grip on Yeosang’s wrist while his hands moved to hold your thighs open for Wooyoung. Wooyoung moved back into his position between your thighs, resting on his stomach as he glanced up at you.

He winks at you before placing a soft kiss on your thigh, causing you to let out a whimper. Wooyoung revels in your small sounds and hums against your skin before biting your thigh softly. 

You gasp, moving your free hand to Wooyoung’s hair and giving a pleading tug. You hear his small giggle, and feel another bite blossom on your skin before he licks a stripe up your slit. He fucks his tongue into your hole, moaning as you flood his senses.

Wooyoung squeezes your hand before dropping it to place his hands on your waist, “Always taste so good,” He says, moving away just the slightest before pulling you closer to him, “You’re already so wet, and all I’ve done is kiss you. You’re so sweet for us, baby.”

He runs a finger through your folds as he runs his mouth, teasing at your entrance. You tug on his hair again - harder this time. You had enough pride left in your fraying mind that you wouldn’t beg Wooyoung to eat you out, but you still found yourself trying to pull him closer to your aching core.

“Stop teasing them, Woo.” Yeosang’s voice comes from behind you. It’s deep and rough, and you know he’s just as affected as you and Wooyoung are.

You rest your head on Yeosang’s shoulder to look back at him. His hand is warm against your back, and it keeps you grounded amongst Wooyoung’s teasing words & tongue. He looks gorgeous like this; his hair is messy and getting long, hanging in his dark brown eyes that watch you intently while his cheeks are flushed a pretty pink.

As you lean up to nudge your nose against Yeosang’s cheek, trying to goad him into a kiss, Wooyoung leans forward and sucks your clit into his mouth. You cry out, and your hips lift off the bed for a brief moment before Wooyoung pushes you back down, holding your hips down as he flicks his tongue against your clit.

Yeosang laughs as he watches you, “I think Wooyoung wants you to pay attention to him.” He tells you before leaning down to kiss you.

Your body feels like it's going to catch on fire soon; Yeosang swallows your increasing moans while Wooyoung slowly probes a finger at your entrance. You buck your hips as Wooyoung harshly sucks on your clit, his moans echoing through your body.

You want more. Your thighs are trembling from Wooyoung’s smallest touches, and you can feel your high beginning to approach. You want Wooyoung to give you everything, until it's simply too much. Wooyoung slowly slides his finger into your sopping hole, curling it until your whole body shakes against Yeosang’s chest.

“Wooyoungie,” Your voice is tense as you pull away from Yeosang’s lips, “I want more.”

Wooyoung pulls away from your centre before adding another finger, slowly easing them into your entrance as you moan his name. He watches as you arch your back, rocking your hips against his fingers in an attempt to get them deeper, “Babylove,” Wooyoung coos, his voice a stark difference from the way he’s fucking his fingers into you, “You’re already acting like such a whore, and neither of us have gotten our cocks in you yet.”

The usage of the name ignites a fire in you, and you clench around Wooyoung’s fingers when he says it while a particularly loud moan of his name leaves your lips. Wooyoung’s head darts up, and he lets out a laugh, “Oh? Did baby like being called a ‘whore’?”

You moan again, your hands gripping Yeosang’s wrists tightly as you feel him shift behind you. His hand slowly moves around your waist, and you can feel the fire in you burn brighter as Wooyoung thrusts his fingers faster. Yeosang’s hand comes in contact with your clit, and you mewl as he begins to rub your sensitive nub.

“Answer Wooyoung, honey.” Yeosang whispers in your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You whine at Yeosang’s request, “Yes! Yes, I like it!” You finally admit, “I like it when Wooyoung calls me a whore.”

Wooyoung leans up to kiss your other cheek as he adds a third finger. You gasp, and your back arches into his touch. Wooyoung thrusts his fingers faster, curling them until they hit the spot that has the flame within your body burst.

You cry out as your orgasm takes over your body, and stars begin to litter your vision as you grip onto Yeosang’s arm around your waist tightly. You can feel Wooyoung kiss along your jaw, whispering something to you that you can’t quite decipher in your state of euphoria. Yeosang’s fingers slow their ministrations on your clit as you ride your high out, helping you prolong the pleasure.

Wooyoung gently tilts your head towards him, kissing you gently as you begin to come down. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue as you deepen the kiss, gripping his cardigan in your shaky hands while Wooyoung tilts your head back. Yeosang’s hands move to your waist, running under the hem of your shirt as Wooyoung pulls away from you.

Yeosang tugs you away from Wooyoung, pulling you closer to him once again, “I don’t think we’re done here, honey.” He says before tilting your head to steal another kiss for himself.

[pagesoflauren]

The Riveter Ch. 12

Summary: After escaping Hydra, you assist Dr. Erskine in helping Steve Rogers become Captain America. When Erskine is assassinated, you think your WWII career is over. Unfortunately, the SSR and Hydra are not done with you yet.

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death, canon-typical violence (use of guns as a means of killing, blood loss, serious injury, physical altercations), mentions of trauma, slow burn, dialogue-heavy chapters, comic book science, torture, forced experimentation

A/N: Hope whoever reads this enjoys it. The dividers aren’t mine, they were created by@firefly-graphics and the Marvel blog formerly known as @writeyourmindaway. And a HUGE thank you to @eightcevanscentral for beta-ing

You’re certain the agent questioning you is as frustrated with you as you are with him as the Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross, stands behind him and scrubs a hand down his face.

They’ve brought in five different people to read off the same list of inquiries about your time with Hydra; a person with something called a polygraph test; and now, a new investigator and Ross.

All the answers they got were the same. You knew your name, your date of birth, and how long you worked in the service of the US Army before your disappearance into the ice.

What you couldn’t tell them were the details of what they really wanted to know.

What were you doing from 1945 up until four days ago when Steve found you?

What was your role?

Why were you kept alive? How are you alive?

You could answer that. But at this point, the question was just procedural to make sure your stories were consistent.

Everything else got a variation of I don’t know and I don’t remember. You truly didn't–the polygraph test revealed that. All of that information was stashed and locked in a corner of your brain that you couldn’t access.

You said that over and over again for the past ninety-six hours. Why didn’t they believe you?

Because they have one reason not to.

Witness accounts placing you next to the Winter Soldier–who suddenly disappeared after the helicarriers fell–and Hydra agents that were captured confessing that they had worked with you.

You’re certain they questioned Steve about his knowledge, but you were confident they couldn’t accuse him of anything.

Sam and Agent Hill had got off scot-free.

Secretary Ross had told you they questioned Natasha in front of the Defense Council of the United States and now she’s disappeared.

“That just leaves you, miss,” he says, making a show of looking at the witness and Hydra agent testimonies. “Our intelligence team is sorting through Hydra’s and SHIELD’s files. Once we find yours, I’m sure your memory will run a marathon when it jogs up to the information.”

He leaves the room and you clench your fists.

- - - - -

Steve is fuming.

He spends all of his waking hours juggling thoughts of tracking down Bucky and getting you released. Part of him had hoped that they would release you on the third day after realizing you truly don’t know anything. He doubts you would tell them about your life in the past seventy years before you told him about it. But today, the fourth day, his frustration increases by the second.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He stops his pacing through his D.C. apartment and takes out the device, hoping for a notification that you’ve been released and he can pick you up.

It’s Tony.

Just checking in after the Hydra fiasco. You doing okay, Cap?

Steve furrows his brows and wonders why Tony took so long to message him. If he was so concerned, wouldn’t he have messaged him the day after it happened?

Doing fine. Just finishing up some business here before heading up there.

The reply comes quickly, What business?

Steve tries to figure out a subtle way to hint that it’s important and he has to stay without giving away that it’s about you.

Is it about Secretary Ross and your girlfriend?

How did–

How do you know about that?

I know everything. *Genius*, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, remember?

Steve rolls his eyes.

Right. But yes, it’s about that. They won’t release her.

Tony takes a second to respond, and Steve isn’t sure how to understand it. Let me see what I can do.

- - -

A few hours later, Steve hears a knock on his door. Looking through the peephole, there’s a mix of surprise and a feeling that he can only describe as “Oh, God, here we go.”

“Tony,” he says as he opens the door.

“Cap,” he nods in response.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to help you break out your girlfriend. Well, not ‘break out’ more like bail out.”

“What do you mean?”

“I scanned through the Hydra files that Romanoff released. There’s not a single word about her in any of them.”

Steve’s brows furrow. How can that be?

“Now, I know what you’re thinking and no, my tech did not miss anything. It’s far too precise because it’s mine.”

“How can you be sure?”

Tony tilts his head. “To be frank, I can’t be. But, Secretary Ross has probably got a team of humans looking through those files and we all know how faulty humans can be.”

Steve doesn’t respond.

“Anyway, I’m thinking Ross has been holding your girlfriend for this long because he’s holding out for something about her. But you and I are gonna go down there right now and tell him he’s got nothing and as such, must let her go.”

“Since when did you become a lawyer?”

“I didn’t, but I’ve talked my way out of enough things to know what to do.”

Despite still being unsure about this, Steve figures it’s better than nothing. He grabs his jacket and keys before following Tony out of his building and to the Pentagon.

- - - - -

You barely have the appetite to eat the sandwich in front of you.

It’s the same one they’ve given you for lunch and dinner since your arrest. You know what it’ll be: stale bread, limp lettuce, mushy tomatoes, and sour meat.

The door opens and your head lifts slowly, ready for someone to snatch the plate away and question you again.

Instead, it’s Steve.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You jump up from your seat and leap into his arms. When he buries his nose in your neck, you feel a little self-conscious; you hadn’t been permitted to shower for as long as you’ve been here. He doesn’t seem to care, holding you even tighter when you try to pull away.

“You okay?” he checks, cupping your face and examining you closely.

You nod, pushing your face into his chest. Here, enveloped in him, everything feels better.

“Come on,” he coaxes you with a hand gliding down your back and landing at your waist, rubbing comforting circles there. “Let’s go home.”

He takes your hand, leading you out of the holding cell and interrogation room, through the detention ward, and out into a bright open hallway, lit by the sunlight pouring through the windows.

Your eyes sting and you whimper slightly at the pain, using your arm to shield your eyes as they adjust. Blinking away the blur, your eyes settle on a man who looks strangely familiar from the side.

When he pivots to look at you and Steve, he smiles and a sharp gasp leaves your throat.

“Howard?”

Steve squeezes your hand and you look at him before looking back at the man.

He looks down and takes off his sunglasses. He frowns a little, then smiles gently, almost in a forgiving way.

“No. No, sorry to disappoint,” he says with a shake of his head. You can’t tell if he’s serious or joking. He folds the arms of his glasses and places them in the breast pocket of his blazer. “I’m Tony, his son. My parents…” he pauses, “They died a little over twenty years ago. Car crash.”

A chill runs down your spine and you shiver visibly.

“Anyway, lovely to meet you,” he says, his mood seeming to change in the blink of an eye as if you didn’t bring up a traumatic memory.

Tony offers his hand for you to shake. In a surprise gesture, he brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.

“Howard did the same thing when he and I first met,” you say fondly.

“He told me he was a gentleman when it counted. And he told me a lot about the two of you; ‘Captain Rogers and the little miss.’”

You smile, happy memories of working with him in the weapons room coming to mind.

Something feels strange about the knowledge of him being gone, though you can’t quite put your finger on it.

“I’m sorry to hear he’s gone,” you manage to say.

“Well, time heals all wounds,” Tony shrugs then looks between the two of you. “Shall we?” he says, gesturing to the exit.

Steve looks at you, “Ready to go?”

There’s something beneath what he’s saying. He’s not just asking you if you want to leave this place–because of course you do.

By the way his eyes fall on you, you know he’s also asking Are you ready to start our life together?

You smile. “Yes.”

- - - - -

“Tony, you passed the exit,” Steve says flatly, annoyed.

You weren’t paying attention. You were focused on the car. It really looked like something from the future: clean stitches on the black leather interior, a screen in place of a radio, heated seats, a quiet engine, and quick acceleration.

Everything you built into Schmidt’s car, only a thousand times better.

“Huh? Oh,” Tony replies, throwing a confused look at the two of you in the rearview mirror, though it’s easy to tell that he’s faking it. “We’re not going back to that tiny apartment you had.”

“It wasn’t tiny.”

“Well, whatever. I have an upgrade for you back at the tower, Cap. Somewhere you two lovebirds can settle in together. Privately, of course. Large, open space, stocked kitchen, California king bed, sound-proof walls…”

“And you didn’t think to tell me about this plan to take us back to New York?”

“Trust me, Capsicle, it’ll be great.”

Arriving at the airport, Tony leads you down a different terminal from the general public–not after garnering some excited points and eager looks from passengers. Some point out Steve, particularly a little boy wearing a shirt with the image of his shield on it.

“Still quite the celebrity, I see,” you remark. “Do people know you used to dance, too?”

Steve shushes you, cheeks turning red as he smiles.

“You two are disgusting,” Tony interjects with a smile, flashing a badge at the security guard.

He unlocks the door and you see a hangar with an aircraft. It’s smaller than the other planes on the runway, but it looks fast.

“You brought a Quinjet?” Steve asks.

“Don’t see a point in traveling an extra ten minutes when I could be using that time more wisely. Like bailing out the little miss.”

Your heart flutters from being referred to with that nickname again.

The back hatch of the Quinjet opens and Tony goes up the small incline. Steve stands by you as you get a look inside: it uses the space remarkably well; there’s storage along the walls and seats that fold up. Though you can’t see it, it looks like there’s even more space within the wings of the jet.

“I had the same reaction,” Steve reassures you. “It’s a far cry from Howard’s plane.”

At the mention of his name, you feel goosebumps ripple up your arms. You let out a small gasp, then cover it with a laugh.

“You’re right.”

You enter the jet as Tony takes a seat in the pilot chair, flipping switches, and turning knobs.

“If either of you wanna get a quick nap in, you can pull out the cot. Cap knows where it is.”

“You can sleep in this?” you wonder in surprise.

“Quieter than the average jet and more than twice as fast. We’ll be in New York within the hour,” Tony rattles off, flipping a switch that closes the back hatch. He tilts the steering wheel up and you feel the vehicle lift.

Startled, you reach for Steve and he steadies you with his hands on your waist.

“Don’t worry,” he says softly, “I gotcha.”

Tony communicates with the call tower, chattering indistinctly before he gets the clear to take off.

The jet moves so quickly and you adjust your arms to wrap around Steve’s waist as he reaches up and grabs one of the handrails suspended from the ceiling.

“Tony, warnings would be nice!” he shouts.

“Sorry, a little too eager to show the little miss what I’ve been up to.”

“Trust me, she sees it!”

When the jet levels, you’re shocked when you look out the front window. The world is moving so fast and it doesn’t feel like anything.

“This is incredible,” you say, detaching yourself from Steve and walking towards the second pilot seat.

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” Tony replies. He begins to describe all the technological aspects of the jet, answering your questions and sharing his secrets.

“Maybe one of these days Capiscle will teach you how to fly it.”

“Let’s just work on getting her to New York, Tony,” Steve replies, having not moved from his spot the entire trip.

“Well, why don’t you take a whirl now?” Tony offers, “We’re about to land.”

He walks you through it, telling you how to adjust speed and orient the vehicle so it can land perfectly in the launch bay.

“Coming up on the tower now.”

It’s tall, half of it glass and the other a classic looking skyscraper with a concrete exterior and smaller windows. A portion of it extends sideways to have room for a helipad and an outdoor patio.

“Alright, now, easy does it…” Tony guides you.

Your landing is a little bumpy, but he congratulates you nonetheless.

“You’re a natural. Could use some improvement, but we all do.”

The three of you exit the jet, you and Steve following Tony down the launch bay and into the building. Distantly below you, you can hear the sounds of the street: loud cars, sirens, what sounds like a train, and social gatherings.

Tony takes you to an elevator. It’s quiet, too, and the ride is smooth and quick.

You wonder how many times you’ll be shocked when a vehicle is fast and practically silent as it takes you where you need to go.

When you exit, you’re taken to a small atrium with what looks like a keypad and a door. A small window is on one wall, bringing more illumination into the space in addition to the lights in the ceiling.

As you approach the door, the screen lights up with an image of Steve’s shield.

“It’s fingerprint activated. Just put your four fingers or your thumb on the screen,” Tony explains. “It’s only calibrated to Steve’s prints but we’ll get yours sorted out ASAP, little miss.”

Steve uses his thumb and the door audibly unlocks and slides open.

The lights turn on as you enter, casting a cool light into the room and you freeze.

You’re certain Tony meant well with this design. It looked sleek and modern, but still cold and uninviting. The walls were exposed concrete, a little too reminiscent of the holding cell you were just occupying hours prior…

And something else.

The room feels suffocatingly frigid all of a sudden and your temples sting. Bringing your arms around yourself you shiver, and Tony conveniently mentions that there are heated floors and centralized temperature control.

Showing you another screen on the wall, he turns the thermostat up by two degrees.

“But, I also figured you two are old school, so there’s a fireplace there for more coziness. Gas, of course. There's a valve next to it. But if you need any help, you can ask Jarvis. He can also do things like dim the lights, lower the shades, lock and unlock the door, you name it.”

Tony walks the two of you through the kitchen and living spaces before leading the two of you down the hallway. The concrete walls remain a common theme throughout the place, the monochromatic color scheme still leaving you with a chilly, displaced feeling.

Stealing a look at Steve, he doesn’t look very bothered. He listens intently and you can tell he wishes he had a notepad so he could write all the information down. Knowing that he seems perfectly fine with the space, you decide to dampen your reactions, fidgeting with your fingers and keeping your limbs locked in close to your body.

When Tony brings you to the bedroom, there are softer colors that feel a little more welcoming, but it still holds that air of something uninviting and almost foreboding. You know automatically you won’t be able to sleep here.

“So, what do you think?” he asks, looking at both of you. “Any changes you’d like to make? Just say the word and I can make it happen.”

Steve looks at you while you look between both of them.

“It’s nice,” you say quietly, your neck stiff as you punctuate your sentence with a nod.

“You alright, little miss?”

“Mhm,” you nod more vigorously, but you don’t think it makes your discomfort any less subtle.

Tony looks thoughtful for a moment before he states there’s something else he’d like to show you. You walk through the apartment again and back to the elevator.

Another quiet ascent as you move back to the upper floors of the building.

The new space is illuminated with blue; sleek, gray walls reflect the light and cast a catalytic glow. It reminds you of the cube Schmidt used to power his weapons. That bright white and azure signal something big has been created in this space, and the next big thing is waiting to be started.

Steve leads you out of the elevator, but you barely make it more than three steps into the room.

“This is the lab, it’s where the magic happens,” Tony gestures around. “Lots of fun stuff. You got screens.”

He taps his knuckle onto a clear slab of glass twice and it lights up. ”It’s equipped with the fastest search engine known to man. But it’s not a standard-issue yet. Sometimes I don’t feel like sharing.”

He goes on and on and on about all the different features of the lab. You try to keep up, but the movement of the robotic arms distracts you, the light bothers you as your eyes continue to fail to adjust. You jump as some items fall off a desk and a man groans.

He’s not particularly small, but he makes himself so. Donned in a white coat and wire-framed glasses perched on his nose, his hair is a dark gray with a few silver strands curled loosely and styled out of his face.

“Oh, hello,” he greets awkwardly, rubbing his hands together and adjusting his coat. “Cap,” he nods to him, waving.

“Dr. Banner,” Steve greets back.

“Banner, come meet Cap’s girlfriend.”

You cut a quick look to Steve before straightening out your clothes.

Narrowing his eyes at you, Steve watches closely as you introduce yourself to Bruce. You’ve never been one to care too much about appearances. Peggy dressed you that night at the bar, and one of the first things you told him when you began discussing going to New York with him was he’d better not expect you to suddenly start wearing dresses.

“I’m gonna wear pants everyday, dammit. And the women of New York can shove it if it really bothers them.”

Keeping hair out of your face you were conscious of, but for purposes of being able to see.

But clothes?

“Little miss, let me show you around a little more. There’s something I think you’d like.”

You look at Steve again and he nods to you, a silent question of, “What do you want to do?”

You point in Tony’s direction and follow him. Bruce pipes up next to him, “She’s a shy one.”

Steve exhales briefly and sharply. “Maybe it was a mistake coming here.”

“Why?”

“I think it’s…it’s too much for her. She grew up in a village, not a city. And knowing Tony and how he’s…” Steve trails off, failing to find the word.

“Tony,” Bruce finishes for him.

“Yeah, and all this,” Steve motions to the room around him. “It must be a lot for her. She’s only been…’awake’...for less than a week.”

His heart sinks further as you nod with an uneasy expression on your face. He should have told Tony he would take you to New York when you were ready.

“I think I should take her out of here,” he thinks out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“Bring her out of the city, just for a little bit.”

“You know, that might not be a bad idea,” Bruce agrees. Steve doesn’t take his eyes off you as his friend continues, “You know her better than I do, and I can tell she’s very out of her comfort zone right now. If this is unusual for her, going to a quiet place might be just what she needs to really absorb everything.”

“Should I try to talk to her about it?”

Even now, after knowing you as well as he does, Steve still doesn’t know how to approach delicate subjects with you. His first instinct is to protect, enact vengeance on those that hurt you.

But he knows it’s not enough to accomplish his ultimate goal: to heal you–and himself–so the two of you can move forward with your lives together.

In his periphery, he can see Bruce shake his head.

“Just be gentle. Keep things light, show her some of the good you’ve discovered while you were waiting for her.”

Waiting for her.

Steve’s heart tugs at how long he’s waited for you. The right partner, as he told Peggy.

And he realizes, the whole time from when he woke up to up until five days ago, he was waiting for an opportunity to see you again. Biding his time going on missions and living in a time-warped haze, catching up with the times; waiting for one outcome or any other.

The discovery and thawing of your body. Meeting his end and seeing you on whatever awaits humans on the other side of life.

Waiting.

As you wring your hands nervously, a gesture that Steve knows too well, he pats Bruce on the shoulder in thanks and approaches the space where you stand as Tony rambles on.

“How’s it going here?” he checks in, keeping it casual.

“It’s good,” you say quietly, “It’s impressive, the lab, the tower…”

Your eyes wander up and around and your breathing turns shallow and quick before you swallow and look at him again.

“It’s…it’s—”

“It’s okay if it’s a lot,” Steve tells you gently, brushing his knuckles against your cheek. “The world’s different from the one we knew, I know.”

You nod. “I know, but–”

“Maybe you lovebirds need a weekend away,” Tony suggests, his voice soft as he looks around. “Or more than a weekend. A week. Longer. You can stay up at the lakehouse.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Steve agrees, placing an arm around your waist and bringing you close to him.

You turn to look at Tony and he gives you a thumbs up. “I’ll make your apartment homier for you two. For man and wife, not just…what did Romanoff say?” He pauses, looking thoughtful. “Not just for a widower.”

You look back at Steve, and he smiles at you, drawing you close to him with a hand on your hip. He gently squeezes there, relishing the feeling of your body in his hands again as you lean your head on his chest.

Steve presses a kiss to the crown of your head and smiles at his friend, “I think that’s a great idea, Tony.”

- - - - -

You and Steve embarked on your journey less than an hour later, affording you a chance to freshen up before leaving the city as the late afternoon turns into evening.

Steve packed a bag of his clothes and essentials, while Tony sent you with a suitcase of some of Nat’s items.

“I’m sure she won’t mind,” he said. “While she’s gone, someone may as well get some use outta these.”

Driving up was enough to get you to calm down, especially when Steve showed you his phone and the Bluetooth connection to the radio so you could play music. He showed you all the artists and genres he was catching up with, everything from BeeGees and disco; to rock music and AC/DC; and Backstreet Boys and pop.

As you looked out the window, you marveled at the tall buildings that surrounded you on both sides. The last time you were in New York was 1943.

You remember your surprise at the hustle and bustle of the city, but it seems like life only got faster as time continued. Buildings got larger, lights got brighter, and people got more impatient.

When Steve stopped to top off the gas tank just before leaving the city limit, you browsed through the snack aisles, looking up and down at all of your choices.

The colors were bright and overwhelming, making you feel unsettled again until you moved into the aisle with fruit and grains. A man bumped you, knocking you into the shelf as he grumbled that he had places to get to.

You breathed in slowly, grabbed an apple, and headed to the checkout counter.

The cashier had a vacuous look in his eyes and a deadpan tone, rolling his eyes as you fumbled for the right amount of cash to give him. Steve came up next to you after, placing a bag of granola onto the counter and flashing a card to the man.

After your transaction, Steve ushered you out and into the car.

“I think I’m a little too slow for New York,” you mutter, buckling your seatbelt.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he replies with a smile, reaching across the console and patting your knee. “You’ll catch up. Takes some time.”

Once Steve drove out of the city, it suddenly felt easier to breathe. You no longer felt closed in by skyscrapers or rushed by honking cars.

You sat back and ate your apple, relaxing in the slightly reclined passenger’s seat. Steve seemed comfortable, occasionally reaching over again to hold your hand for a few minutes at a time.

About an hour into the drive, he mentioned that the two of you would need to stop at a grocery store and asked you to think about what you wanted to eat while you were away.

He pulls into a parking lot, the building and sign unassuming but when you walk in, you’re met with another space that overtakes your senses. You try to breathe slowly, following Steve as he takes you to the meat aisle and places a few trays of steaks into the cart and a tray of burgers.

“Now that I don’t have asthma anymore, I can stand by an open grill,” he remarks, a joking lilt in his voice.

You swallow and give him the best smile you can manage.

Wrapping his arm around your waist, he squeezes your hip. “We’ll be quick. Is there anything else you want?”

You turn your eyes to the refrigerated shelves, blinking quickly as you try to focus on the options in front of you.

Your eyes land on a package of bratwurst and you recall the dish Dr. Erskine cooked for the two of you when you were able to get your hands on more expensive ingredients during the war.

The plastic feels strange against your fingers, the texture foreign as you lift up the package and grab a second one before placing them in the cart.

Steve then takes you around to pick up some milk, eggs, and cheese, along with some frozen foods.

Leading you to the next aisle, you’re overwhelmed again by all the bright packages of different chips and sodas. A few paces down, a worker restocks the shelves, the crinkling sound scraping against your eardrums. Above you, a beeping sound plays and a man’s voice comes through the speakers, garbled by the old sound system. The music starts again–the music that had been playing this entire time and had faded into white noise–seeming louder than before. You look up and the harsh lighting stings your eyes.

Suddenly, everything that you had managed to become desensitized to reaches your senses: the hum of the cooling systems, the chatter from other shoppers, the meat slicer behind the deli counter, the beeping of the ovens in the bakery.

Recalling your dream–memory?--from a few days ago, you could look at Zola with a gaze that could kill. He had called your abilities as a super soldier a blessing.

Now, it was a curse.

“Hey,” Steve’s voice sounds above everything else. His hands cup your jaw, making you see only him. “Breathe in with me.”

He takes an exaggerated breath, making a show of his shoulders rising up as he inhales.

“Breathe out.”

You watch his chest sink and feel your own deflate, your heartbeat still in your eyes but less dizzy than you were a moment ago when you didn’t even realize you were feeling that way.

“Let’s go pay,” he says quietly, “We’ll leave after.”

“But…but we’re not done–”

He chuckles once, placing his forehead against yours. “Yes, we are,” he whispers before kissing your nose.

He’s gentle, offering you his arm to hold while he pushes the cart with the other.

You watch the man at the end of the conveyor belt bag your groceries and turn to Steve as he taps on the keypad.

“We forgot to get vegetables.”

“We’ll stop at a farmer’s stand on the way,” he promises. “We’re getting out of here.”

Embarrassed and guilty, you look down.

As much as you want to argue that you’re fine, you can handle ten more minutes gathering what you need, most of your energy is spent ignoring every piece of stimuli around you that isn’t Steve.

“Let’s go,” he verbally nudges, voice still soft as he leads the way out of the store and into the parking lot.

“Go sit inside,” he says, nodding towards the passenger’s side door. “I won’t be long.”

You wait as he loads the groceries into the back, feeling the weight of the car shift as it supports all the bags of food Steve purchased for the coming days.

You stop fiddling with your fingers long enough to buckle yourself in.

As you squeeze the base of your right finger with your thumb and forefinger on your left hand, you see Steve’s hand covers yours.

“You okay?”

You purse your lips and blink back tears. “I’m just…” you begin, face heating up at the sound of your watery voice, “I’m sorry I can’t handle it. I’m such an inconvenience–”

“Hey,” he says, cupping your jaw and gently turning your head so you can look at him. “You’re not. Not to me.”

His thumb swipes a tear that falls and he continues, “I know it’s been a lot these past few days. It just takes some getting used to, and I know because I’ve been there. And I’m gonna be here next to you every step of the way, sweetheart.”

Ignoring the discomfort in the way that you overextend your body, you throw your arms around his shoulders.

“I promise I’m not letting either of us be alone ever again,” he swears, cupping the back of your head.

He kisses you once, then a second time before you settle back in your seat.

The rest of the way, he doesn’t let go of your hand.

Just before approaching the property, Steve keeps true to his word and pulls over so you can shop at a farmer’s stand.

You pick your fill of fruits and vegetables–some you’ve never seen before–feeling nostalgic as you place them into a cardboard box given to you by the owners of the farm. When Steve comes to ask you for your opinion on which tomato is best, your heart tugs as you remember shopping with your first fiancé.

It’s strange; it’s not that you miss him. You cherish the memories of the time you spent with him, sure, but you don’t wish he was there instead of Steve, nor do you wish Steve had been in his place–even if there was a world where he did survive.

You realize that in a cosmic way, this is how it was meant to be. You and Steve, together. Through everything.

And it suddenly becomes apparent that he knows it, too.

It’s why he had been so patient this entire time. He could easily walk away, abandon everything and leave you to your own devices.

He doesn’t just say no, he outright refuses to.

Steve calls your name, asking if you’re okay.

Standing on your toes, you press your lips to his. You smile at the surprise he seems to feel, his delayed return of affection a clear sign of how unexpected it was.

“You okay?” he checks again, neck, cheeks, and ears flushing red.

“Yes,” you nod. Then, you look at the tomatoes, giving them a squeeze before deciding which ones are best.

Another few miles down, Steve takes you to another roadside pit stop to pick up a few more snacks and some beer.

The property is closed off, a brick wall running along the perimeter until you reach an iron gate. From what you can tell, it’s massive.

But do you really expect anything less from Howard’s son?

The gate opens automatically as the car approaches, the driveway illuminating in Tony’s signature blue lights. As the sun sets across the lake, you can see the cabin in the distance.

It’s large, but still barely taking up the entire area. As you move deeper into the space, you realize you could walk and explore for hours without seeing any kind of barrier.

Steve pulls up right at the front porch, exiting the car and running over to your side to open the door for you. He takes your hand, leading you up the steps to the wooden deck.

You pause briefly, looking at how the receding sunlight reflects against the surface of the lake, rippling under the breeze. You hear the din of crickets and the occasional whistle from a nearby bird.

For a moment, everything is still; no SHIELD, no Hydra, no Project Insight, no Pierce, no Rumlow, not even the busy sounds of New York can reach you here.

It’s just you and Steve.

You turn back to look at him, grateful for the patient look he gives you. You know he’d give you as long as you need to feel normal. Even if you didn’t know what “normal” would look like in this new world, you know he’d love you whether you stayed the same or changed.

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