#I feel like laughing at myself looking at this from an outside perspective

[phagodyke]

woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better

[wakeup01]

A Matching Pair

Goddammit. Why does he always have to argue about it. Can’t he ever put himself in my shoes and try and be more understanding.” I mumble to myself as my boyfriend fades out of sight down the empty train car. I sigh and stare out the window of the train, listening to the world outside shudder past.

“This space free?” Comes an excited voice, I look up to see a fit young guy casually drop onto the seat opposite me. He looked no older than 22 and was outfitted for some kind of sports game, with a designer tracksuit sagging off his hips, a red jersey that pressed against his lean stomach and a glossy puffer jacket.

“Uhhh…not really.” I remark, side-eying his trendy permed hair, perfectly styled and faded. I had never really understood the appeal of…‘fuckboys’; rich but devoid of personality - aside from the prepackaged one they adopt. In this case even I had to admit that he was rather attractive, in a blunt, dumb ‘grammer is for losers’ sort of way. There was a casual air of confidence in the way he carried himself, narcissistic? Sure, but maybe a little ego didn’t hurt, especially in the bedroom.

Shame he obviously wouldn’t be a sub - he’d look nice around my cock, although I can picture my boyfriend tripping over himself to placate his every whim. The perks of this ‘open relationship’ we had seemed increasingly one sided. Ugh. I’m quickly reminded of our argument, and my indignation wins out over my misguided lust.

“Mate, you look proper mad.” He chuckles, kicking off his trainers. He stretches out his legs and rests them on the seat next to mine.

“Name’s Dominic and I’m not….mad.” My voice trails off.

“Uh oh. Who is she then blud?” He gestures at me with his hands, rattling the horde of bracelets that buried his wrists.

“He.”

“Pftt. I should ‘av guessed. It’s all the same to me. I’m Trev ‘btw’. You off to the gay convention?” There’s a wry smile that is hard to be angry at, in fact I feel strangely comfortable with him. He seemed like a good listener.

“Funny, but yes. Meeting our friend Nate there.” I cross my arms in a futile attempt to appear more dominant.

“Wait, they have those now?” My eyes squint at him. “Just fucking with you. I got a game the next town over. I’m a player.”

“Wow, you don’t say.”

“Maybe you’ve seen me play on the tele eh?” He puts on a face and flashes his shiny white teeth proudly.

“Sure…” He was in a professional team? Like I’d know.

“So spill, what’s the issue with yuh ‘boy’? His ‘bussy’ too small?” My mouth begins to move before I really get the chance to think about what I’m saying, or why I’m telling him at all.

“Ugh. He just never tries to see things from my perspective, he always expects me to play the ‘top’. About everything. And I don’t share his weird kinks.”

“TMI. Oh. You’re the top? And your name is Dom? ‘Lolz’. Is your boy called SUBastian?” He laughs mischievously. His brazen use of text speech was strangely endearing, something I thought impossible.

“Dominic. And no, his name’s Addy.” I correct, flatly.

“Uh huh. Yeah, and have you tried the same? See things from Addy’s point of view. Find equal ground right. Maybe I can help. It’s like when there’s a disagreement in our footy team.”

“I don’t think it’s quite the same thing…”

“Should give it a try Dom, see how it feels to be the sub. It can be fun to let someone else take charge. Easy too when you don’t overthink it. Go on, just lay back and relax.” Yes, I’m sure this will solve all our problems. I humour him anyway, resting my back against the seat’s cushion. Ten seconds pass in silence, just the hum of the train carriage throbbing rhythmically.

“This is stupid-“

“Shush.” Trev stares at me intently, trapping my eyes into his own. I don’t think to look away, why would I. He continues talking, I hear the words floating past me but don’t register what they are. It feels like minutes until his fingers snap in front of his face, and the spell is broken. He just smiles and waits expectantly for me to reply. His legs move from the seat next to me and I follow their movement.

“I—I guess.” I stutter, unsure of what I’m replying to, feeling slightly dizzy, like waking from a dream. For some reason my eyes seem drawn to his feet, now resting on the edge of my own seat, fidgeting between my thighs. I didn’t notice that they were sockless before… or that they were so big.

“Deeper.” He snaps his fingers again. My eyes are feeling so heavy, it’s becoming harder to keep them open. “Picture your boy sitting in your place. See it in your head.” I think about him, see his dreamy smile, like the one growing on my face. “So easy.” Trev repeats, my head nodding absently to his words. He adjusts and pushes his feet against my groin. Hmmf. I should tell him to stop. To stop…

“Uhh.” The dull sound leaves my lips instead of the words I wanted, the rubbing sensation fraying the edges of my thoughts.

Trev’s fingers fiddle at his pockets. He pulls out a vape stick and blows a huge bubblegum flavoured cloud of smoke into my face. The fumes flow through my open mouth and circle my head. His hands appear to be moving in slow motion, like everything was suddenly at half speed.

“Being in charge is exhausting huh. Much better to just relax and follow along, like your boyfriend would.” Yeah, he would probably do whatever this guy asked him to.

“I bet he’d rub my feet If I told him to.”

“Yeah.” I agree, wrapping my hands around Trev’s chunky feet - he definitely would. I run my fingers up and down his sole, picturing my boyfriend in this situation.

“Eyes up here fam.”

*snap*

I look back up at him, falling into his stare once more, entranced. My hands continue to massage him, passing over the curves and arches of his large feet. The shame of doing this in a public place completely lost on me. “Good foot boy.” I fail to hold back a moan at the validation. Is this what it feels like? It feels…nice, good.

I sense my body start to slowly lean forward of its own volition. Trev loudly exhales, his lips pursing. Another dose of bubblegum mist fogs my view. “What else would your boy do?”

“Don’t know…”

“Bet he’d love to sniff my lush feet hm?”

Probably, I think. He was way more kinky than me about such things. This guy’s feet were quite ripe after all, maybe if I got a bit closer…no—no what am I doing? I begin to pull back when his intense eyes narrow at me.

“It’s okay. I can see you want to take a whiff too. Boy.” His inflection changed on the last word. There was something about the way he said it. Powerful.

“My—my boyfriend will be-“ My voice cracks.

“Put your fucking nose here. And sniff my cheesy feet.” He orders, accentuating each word, dropping all pretence - his finger snapping and pointing down.

It’s like a switch being pressed in my head. The words cut like a knife right through any lingering hesitation. My face lowers and inhales deeply, sucking up his harsh scent.

“Yeah.” I mumble from behind his feet in a daze.

“Yeah what?”

*snap snap*

“Yes sir.” I don’t know why I said it, it just slipped from my lips and then it was too late to take it back. Too late to stop, as my face leans down to his foot like a magnet. Too late to pretend I didn’t want a sniff, my nostrils breathing the thick musky air.

“A good start boy.” I tentatively take a couple more whiffs, a part of me still attempting to hold back, feeling self aware. He rolls his eyes and shoves his feet forcefully into my face, my nose pushed snugly between his big toe. His stench shrouds my head like a cloud. The concept of ‘disgusting’ faded to nothingness.

“Salt and vinegar flavour, your fav.” Trev asserts. It became true the moment the words left his lips. Salty and eye watering. My favourite. My cock liked it too apparently.

“You look so much better under me, worshiping me - where you belong. Keep going.” And I did. Breathing deeply, in and out. In and out. The heat from his foot radiates outwards, travelling down my body, seeping into my skin. “Wouldn’t your boy agree to be at my feet at all times If that’s what I wanted?” He—I would. I want nothing else.

“Of course sir.” I say, unaware that the words would seal my fate.

Something is changing. A shift in weight. My whole body starts to feel lighter, filling with air. My skin itches, a rash forming across it’s surface - bleaching every inch an even, clean white. The rash crawls down my chest, flattening my modest set of abs, leaving everything it touches incredibly soft, absorbent and flexible. Tiny strands of fuzzy cotton fabric poke out from each pore; the changes showed no sign of stopping.

Everything is happening all at once, alarms try and go off in my brain but it’s preoccupied swimming in a musky drunken stupor. My feet seem to leave the floor as my form inexplicably shrinks, the length of my arms folding inwards as my body simplifies.

“Look at you bruv. You were easy as fuck.” I gaze up at him, his smug face towering over me, looking so far away. A puff of vape smoke floats down towards me, particles dissolving on my cushioned skin. The sweet aroma mixes with the smell of his sour feet. “Just one look into my eyes and you were done. Get socked bro.”

Trev started to appear bigger and bigger, his feet dwarfing my new size, now taking up my whole view. It was like my essence was being pulled around his foot. My mouth opens and his toes slip effortlessly inside, stretching me out and making themselves at home. The rest of his foot follows, his ankle resting at my opening. It sets off my gag reflex momentarily, before feeling perfectly natural, like I was tailor made for his foot.

“Sorry bud, they’re a size 13.”

The taste of his potent sole explodes into me. I’m violently shaken out of my trance-like haze, the world around me speeds up. I try and desperately pull away, lucidity returning like a slap to the face. Why am I on the floor? Why is his foot in my mouth?! Oh shit oh shit!

“Get socked!” Trev yells enthusiastically. “Get fucking socked!”

Control is slipping away. My skin pulls taut around his foot, the fabric digging between his toes. It feels as though every part of me is pressed against him, his warmth surrounding me. My new shape settles into place, defined by his smooth curves.

I can’t move my ‘body’ at all, but all my senses still persist…somehow. My blurry vision clears, a sudden shift in view makes me disoriented. It’s as if I have a pov of the room from the bottom of Trev’s foot, he lowers it to the floor and my worldview erratically drops to carpet level before going dark. The material of the carpet brushes against me, the strange sensation is embarrassingly pleasing; bringing attention to the absence of my cock. Relief now seemed impossible.

“Socked. Man, I love that initial freshness. Tbh, it makes the inevitable even more fun.”

He pushes the weight of his foot into me, his sweaty soles sticking to my tight fabric body. It feels humiliating to be literally stuck on the ground. His stench clings to me, soaking me in his foot musk. The imprint of his toes yellowing my surface. It’s like having his foot down my throat, perpetually swallowing his mind numbing sweat.

“Mmm that’s good, you hang so tightly. A perfect fit. Hope you like sucking on my rank fucking toes. Cuz now you’re just my stinky ripe sock. Fucking idiot. Can’t wait to get you worn in.”

That’s not possible, I can’t be a sock…it defies logic. This is a nightmare I’m about to wake up from, any second now…any second…

He pulls at me and stretches my ribbed opening up and over his tracksuit, stuffing the silky material into me.

“So much more… pliable.” Trev wiggles his toes and my body conforms to it’s every movement, lodging in between each one. I try and desperately struggle, do something. I manage to achieve a light wriggle that only helps pull myself tighter against his skin.

Trev lifts his foot and points it towards the window, the dark night air rushing past outside. A clear reflection echoes back. I stare at it in disbelief, wanting to blink the reality from my eyes. A caricature of my shocked face is crudely printed on the underside of the sock - trapped frozen in time, with the word ���SNIFF’ sewn into the fabric. The material was already beginning to discolour. Logic or not, That’s all I am now - a cheap white sock. His sock. An object.

“Basic as fuck boy makes basic as fuck sock. Lit.” He points out, smirking in the reflection while he checks out his new kit. Trev puts his feet back up on the seat, letting me watch the empty space where I had been sitting - back when I was more than just his property.

“Enjoy the view, while you can cheesy. You’re going to spend most of your time staring at the floor, or the inside of my fumigated sneaker.” What joy. I hadn’t even thought about that, about what comes next. Surely he didn’t plan to keep me like this? “Hmm. I think the name Dominic is a bit too fancy for you now, how about…sock. Simple, to the point.” Trev steps me back against the ground, his heel slightly raised. “Suits you, don’t you think sock?”

Light footsteps thud from down the carriage, getting closer and closer. “Hey babe. I wanted to apologise, Nate thinks—who are you? Umm where’s my boyfriend?” Addy had returned, this was my chance.

I wanted to shout and cry out to him, to get his attention anyway possible. I conjured a barely audible rustle and then nothing. All it did was reinforce how small and subservient I now felt, forced to listen to my owner in silence.

“Oh he’s not gone far, cutie. Sit.”

I hear my boyfriend stammer from above. All it took was one compliment and he turned to putty. In most cases it was endearing, but right now I needed him to be anything but agreeable.

I feel the weight on me shift. I glide through the air again, Addy’s expression coming into view across from me, from us.

“He’s…” Addy looks me over curiously.

“Yep. He got socked.”

“Gosh. That’s…hot.” His cheeks blush.

WHAAT! You’ve got to be kidding me! Damn, why did he have to be so kinky when I need him to rescue me. I can recognise his horny face a mile away.

“Now it’s your turn. Look at my eyes.” Trev’s voice taking on a more serious tone. Addy’s eyes dart up, quickly becoming ensnared by Trev’s hypnotic gaze. No, please snap out of it. “Good, keep looking. Relax. Let me give you the deets. In a few minutes you’re gonna have the privilege of having my foot up your arse, sucking up my sweat as a thin piece of fabric like your bf. You’ll be my sock puppet, controlled completely by my foot. You can already feel my toes pushing at your mind. You want it. Say it.” Trev waves me back and forth, hypnotically.

“But…mmm,”

“Say it.”

*snap*

“I — I want to be your smelly sock puppet. Pleaseee Master.” He moans in a trance.

“Course you do.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Addy’s shorts were noticeably tenting, a wet spot forming at the tip. He was getting off on the idea! “Sock puppet. Look at your boy, read the word sewn into him. You know what to do.”

Addy’s head leans towards me, eclipsing my vision. His huge nose presses up against me, his eyes dilating. I can feel his wavering breath brush at my cotton skin. He did exactly what the sock - me, said to and sniffed. The hesitant whiffs quickly devolve into enthusiastic huffing.

“Babeee. Hmmf. You smell so niceee. Mmmm.”

“That’s an obedient sock sniffing sock puppet.” Trev assured him. ”Now onto the other one.” Addy moves away from my view, I can only see him shuffling at the edge of my narrow locked vision. “Ready to join him?”

“Yes masterrrr.” Addy’s voice slurs monotonously. “Enter me and take control. We’re both yours.” Like hell we are!

“I want you to lick this foot clean like a dirty dog before it becomes your new home.” I hear him start to slobber all over Trev. “Good puppet. Get socked.”

The sound of my boyfriend licking and moaning in heat continued for what felt like an eternity. There was nothing I could do but be suspended in the air like my owner deemed appropriate.

“It’s time to become a puppet. Turn around and spread that cute bubble butt. There we go, feel my foot enter your rear, filling you up, fucking your tiny brain. Ufff. Tight. Fuck. Let’s stretch you out, nice and wide. Ahh that’s better. Your hole clamping around my ankle. Yeah. Becoming soft and flexible. A sock puppet. A sweat guzzling, empty-headed, dirty filthy sock puppet.” I can just about see Addy’s head, craning back in pleasure as he’s foot fucked.

“Butt feels…Hnng my—my body…” Addy pants desperately.

“Now belongs to my fat fucking foot. SOCK. PUPPET.

“Pu—puppet.” Addy’s bobbing head pulls out of sight, compressing around the invader inside him.

“Sock puppet. Surrendered all free will. Sock puppet. Commanded by feet. What are you?”

“I’m a sock… a sock puppet. Mmmmf…I’m a soooommfff.”

His voice goes silent. I can only assume he’s turning into a perfect match for Trev’s other foot. The thought horrifies me, but also gets me a little excited. I glimpse a pristine white shape shudder next to me. Trev sits up and places both feet flat on the ground, in order to admire his new additions to the collection.

“Hell yeah. You two make the cutest pair. Glad I could help bring you ‘together’. And no more worries about disagreements ‘lmao’. Go on, kiss and make up.”

Trev bends his legs and points me at Addy’s new form, his lustful face captured on the socks sole; the word ‘LICK’ was immortalised above. I was for sniffing and he for licking, it made a bizarre kind of sense to my addled brain. He brings his feet together and rubs us both against each other, our ‘faces’ pressed closely. My mind blurs, the friction bringing searing white hot bliss. God it’s amazing. He was so soft! Please more. More! Babe. Don’t stop. Get socked!

Trev eventually pulls us apart, I watch the folds of Addy’s loose fabric pull taut, finalising his transformation. He made a cute sock, just like me. We were now on equal footing. Wait, what am I thinking? This is insane, I don’t want this! Was I stuck like this? Would it be really so bad? No, stop.

I realised that the smell was permeating my thoughts, twisting them. Knowing that didn’t change how good it felt, how good his touch felt, his musk.

“Don’t worry, when I go to replace you I’ll be sure to sell you on as a pair to one of my foot sluts. Let’s be honest, as socks go, you’re kinda ‘mid’ at best.” The comment did nothing to reassure me about turning back to human. “Man you gay nerds are so dumb, none of you can resist my scent. It’s like you want to be part of my fit. Even my sneaks gave more of a struggle than you two lovebirds. All I need now is some new undies to stretch over my ass and hug my fat dong and balls. Know anyone?” Trev pauses and then laughs to himself.

As each minute passed my mind became more subdued, it was relaxing, becoming content. The part that was angry, defiant, was shrinking. A bubbling happiness was slowly expanding within me. I did my best to push it back but with my senses overwhelmed, it was a seemingly losing battle. Addy was probably already loving every second of it.

“Let’s have some fun. Which one of you will make a good cum sock? Who am I kidding, you’ll both be great. But for now…”

He peels me free from his foot, holding me limply in the air. For a moment I feel incredibly empty, already missing his warmth. The disappointment is short lived; I’m quickly filled out as he pulls me over a stiff pole. His cock. His glorious thick shaft. I’m forced to swallow it whole, it’s tip poking at my edges.

With his hand around me he wanks me furiously, using me as sleeve. ‘Don’t enjoy it’, I shout internally. This sucks. This sucks! It’s hard to ignore the pleasure it brings the both of us. Oh god I’m being stretched out by him completely. It sucks. Sucks… this…mmm. Faster. Go faster! Fill me! Cum inside me, mark me as yours!

My sexy owners pumping reaches a crescendo, now with both hands thrusting me up and down. One final tug. A grunt. A twitch. Thick copious splooge unloads right into me, flooding my interior. His fuckboy seed is absorbed into me, my cotton body sucking up every drop. A dark patch spreads across me and crusts over as it dries. The bitter taste lingers, like the cum was sat on my tongue.

“Fuck me, that was sweet. But enough fun.” Trev pulls me off his dick and janks me back over his foot, his toes push against my cum stained dark spot, still damp.

Trev’s phone starts to ring with some loud trap song. “Trev. Yeah. Yeah mate. Course, you fucka. Be arriving soon. Mint, I got me some new gear too. Ace. Uh huh…K, chat tomorrow.”

What would have normally been inane babble to me made a concerning amount of sense, like his identity was somehow rubbing off on me.

He stands up, dragging something over to him with his other foot. I’m lifted high into the air, tauntingly hovering over his beat up shoe. I can’t help but look down at my future smelly prison. I don’t think my mind can take any more…

It didn’t help knowing that the sneaker was once a guy, now heavily used. It was like seeing a glimpse of my own fate. Mmmm.

“Let’s get you acquainted.”

I see the trainer hurtle towards me as I’m lowered to the floor. My edges slide effortlessly into the pungent confines of his sneaker, the thick stale air engulfing me. I’m pressed against the stained sole and squelch against it’s moist surface; the outline of his foot clearly indented into the material. My vision goes pitch black.

The stench is blasted at me from all sides. Fuck me. I don’t stand a chance against it, my mind is drowned beneath its waves. Sinking below as new, more simple desires emerge.

There’s a muffled sound of an announcement playing overhead. “Guess this is where we get off lads. I should probably warn you, me mates and I have a footie match tomorrow. And I don’t plan on removing you, after that I expect you won’t even want to be turned back. Not that I ever planned to. I’m sure you stinkheads don’t object? Sorted.”

I didn’t object, in fact, I— I think I was looking forward to it. My printed face would probably be completely yellow by the end of it, as it should. Mmm.

The weight of his foot lifts as I feel myself rise from the floor and then just as quickly I’m pushed back down to the ground. My boyfriend being subject to the same in tandem. A second later and it happens again and then again, each step the strength of his body squishes me against the shoes insole, which sticks to my surface. And each time, my brain is submerged in a pleasant sweaty haze, scattering whatever dim thoughts I had left. The weight flattening my mind to sodden mush. Rewarding me for fulfilling my role as his smelly, mindless sock, us both huffing at our owners beautiful addictive feet. Together.

“Maybe we should stop off at that gay convention first, see how many noses we can get pressed against you two while you get sucked dry. Plus, we could find that friend of yours to get wrapped around my big sweaty butt.”

Yeahhh…I bet Nate would make a perfect pair of fucking briefs.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst, rejection word count -> 2.1k

abstract -> my soul was always yours... im sorry it took this long

flashback – heeseung’s perspective

“But I don’t want to go,” I told my sister. She sighed and continued to fix my hair for this stupid day. “Come on, maybe you’ll find friends,” she said with a grin and I scoffed. “This is different from you, you actually found friends” I whined and I knew she was already worried but I dreaded having to go to a new school. 

“Heeseung, be brave for me okay?” she said and I rolled my eyes but agreed. I held her hand tightly as I saw the school in front of us. 

Belift Boarding School for Young Witches. 

“You’ll pick me up, right?” I asked and she smiled. “I’ll be right here to hear how your day went little brother,” she said as I waved her goodbye. I hated the thought of starting a new school. 

Only for the kids to treat me like an idiot, a monster, anything but human. I wanted to find Jungwon and Sunoo… but I didn’t know if they were incarnated again. Or the other boys… maybe even Sooha. Anyone to make me feel less alone. 

This is a stupid school, filled with idiots!

The orphanage just had to make me go here. It's dumb. Filled with kids who don’t even know simple magic, what is this school?! Then again… noona would just say it's because I have my memories of past lives that I know about my abilities. 

“Hey! That’s mine!” I heard and I noticed the mean kids didn’t target me… maybe cause I was placed as a top student when the school tested me. No one wants to bully a kid who knows more magic than them… maybe it's better I went to an all-witches school this time around.

I wouldn’t have vampires or werewolves messing with me. 

The group of boys threw her books out of the window and I scoffed. “Oops! Sorry y/n!” they said and laughed but she didn’t cry nor yell at them to stop. Instead, she looked angry. 

I was going to help her but… I laughed. 

It seemed that they all now looked at me confused. “What are you laughing at!?” they yelled and I couldn’t stop. “Maybe… look in a mirror!” I said, trying to stop. She must've done a basic spell to do that… she gave them weirdly colored hair. One had a giraffe pattern, the other a zebra, and their leader a cow. 

It looked funny on them. They all looked at each other and argued. They didn’t even notice the girl scoff and walk towards me. 

“You could’ve let them figure it out,” she said and I chuckled. “Sorry to take away your surprise, but want help finding your books?” I asked and she smiled. “Please?” she asked and I swear I fell in love at the very moment. Her smile and shining eyes…

“I’m y/n by the way… what’s your name?”

Twas the night before the masquerade. 

“I wrote her the best card!” Sunoo praised as he tied his bow tie. “In your dreams! She’s gonna choose me to be her date!” Jake said and I laughed. “How bad was your writing on that card?” I said and everyone laughed. “Hey! That doesn’t matter!” he said and I chuckled.

“Heeseung-hyung… do you know who she chose?” Jungwon asked and I smiled. “Who knows?” I said and they groaned. I left first wandering outside… 

Why was I nervous? 

If I was being honest with myself I didn’t let myself read her mind. A part of me begged for her to choose me… despite how selfish I've been. 

In my confession, I asked her to meet me in the back of the school at the flower field. Each minute went by that I wanted to turn back… I know that she was sure her card was from Sunoo. So why was I still–

“Heeseung?” I heard and I felt like I was alive again. The feeling like throwing up, the anxiety, the cold sweat… I turned to see her in a beautiful dress, dolled up and everything. 

“You’re the one who sent this?” she asked, confused and I gave her a nervous smile. 

“Will you let me explain everything?”

y/n’s perspective

I sat down wanting to at least hear him out. I guess I did choose one of my soulmates… just not the one who–

“I never wanted to reject you,” he said… Did I mishear him? “When I saw you again I… felt alive, like there's a heartbeat in my chest. You make me just as nervous though…” he said and I was confused. 

This wasn’t the Heeseung I knew– 

“I’m not… you met Heeseung. The vampire, the one who in his past life was devoted to a princess… but a long time ago you met Evan” he said and I felt my eyes widen. 

Evan?

“Pathetic right? I gave you my English name and lied to you saying I was a foreigner when we were kids… I just didn’t want you to know about me. Jake told me you met my sister… I was a witch who attended Belift Boarding School for young witches” he said… Evan.

The boy who always met up with me after classes… the boy who helped me prank the other kids in my class. 

“I don’t understand," I said, confused…

“I think I’ve loved you since I first saw you, y/n” 

When we first met I felt drawn to love at first sight.  I loved you then and I love you now, I’ll always be there to lift you up even if you don't want me there. I want to be the only one to cherish and love you. To die and live for you and only you. So I can only dream you would do that for me. 

“Then why? You were one the meanest! You rejected me first! You’re a liar… you… why?” I yelled until I realized I was getting emotional.

“Don’t cry… not when you have six other soulmates–” “Answer me” I said and he smiled a soft smile. 

A smile that… I've only seen once… when he comforted me after what happened with Jake. 

“Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon were in love with Sooha… they don’t know this but you do. If you have more than one soulmate and you try to–" "To bond with a few of them then the bond eventually dies' ' I finished for him and he gave me a sad smile. 

“I knew Jungwon would want to be with you even without the bond and so would Niki and Sunoo. I wasn’t sure though… but here you are” he said and I scoffed. 

“You shouldn’t make decisions for other people,” I said and he gave me a sad smile. “I know… but when it affects your magic I was willing to break you apart from them when not all of them were going to accept you easily,” he said and I sighed. 

It's why I couldn’t defend myself against Jake… also why my magic has been faltering recently. 

When a witch's soulmate bond is rejected… and fighting for the bond drains your magic. You can fix either by rejecting your mates back… or having them accept you. It's also why Wonyoung broke my bond temporarily… so my magic can temporarily regenerate. 

“You turned into a vampire?” I asked and he chuckled. “Not willingly… but I can live with it. My sister recommended that I go to Decelis. So im learning to come to terms with it” he said and I nodded. 

“You really do look pretty… you would have to be the prettiest person in the school” he said as he lifted his hand up to tuck my hair away. 

“Prettier than Sooha?” I asked and he chuckled. “Believe it or not, I've never loved Sooha. She was more like a sister to me… my own sister took care of me in this life. While I took care of Sooha in another… So I didn’t reject you to have Sooha… I would have to be a fool” he said and I was shocked. 

“Go to your party… you worked hard for it. They’re all waiting–" "But I chose your message, "I said, cutting him off. 

“Oh? I guess you did… It would be a bad example if the president of the student council of Bright Sun didn’t follow her own rules” he said and I chuckled. 

“Shall we?”

We arrived now with our masks on and I took everything in. 

I soon heard him chuckle beside me… “They’re all jealous and annoyed,” he said and I sighed. “They must be confused about who I chose?” I asked and he nodded. 

“They’d never guess me,” he said and I nodded… I looked at him, he was happy. He had a grin on his face… not so serious like other times. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, will you give me at least one dance?” he asked and I smiled and took his hand. 

I enjoyed my time with him… this was the Evan I knew. My best friend from elementary school graduated and I never heard of it again. 

“I wish you would let me choose my own path, you know,” I said as we swayed to the music. He smiled… “I know better than anyone… what rejecting mates does to a witch. You were fighting for the bond… and it was eating your magic” he said and he wasn’t wrong. I jeopardized myself… but they didn’t know that. 

“How do you know about that?” I asked and he sighed. “Let's just say my sister… she experienced it,” he said and I felt my eyes widen. 

“Don’t worry… she’s fine. Can I ask–” “We will be announcing our king and queen!” I heard Wonyoung’s voice. “Now we have included this year to not just include witches or any magic users only. So please be open-minded to one another and let us accept other species into our traditions” she said and I smiled. 

It was controversial but it was all fun and to be enjoyed. 

“Our king… is K from Riverfield!” she announced and I was shocked. K? I soon saw him join the stage… “And our queen… Sooha from Declis” she announced. What? Not everything was wrong– 

“EJ and Wonyoung are doing me a favor… Sunghoon can put aside his ego for this one time” Heeseung said. The King was voted most times for Sunghoon and the Queen was Wonyoung… So what was going on?

I looked back at them getting their crowns and smiling at each other… “They’ve accepted one another,”  said and he nodded. 

“K finally has some sense… and Sooha is finally thinking clearly,” he said and I chuckled. “Thank you… even though you tampered with my event” I said and he laughed. 

“I’m sorry, I'll make it up to you,” he said and I smirked. “Oh? Then I know how you can '' I said and he looked at me shocked. “We’re soulmates right, Evan?” I asked and he laughed.

“Yes, we’re soulmates y/n. I’m sorry for everything… but I'm willing to do anything for you. I promise my little witch” he said and I smiled. 

“y/n!!” I heard and I saw Sunoo and Jungwon. “You bastard! What'd you do to our soulmate!” Sunoo yelled and I laughed. 

“I chose his message… sorry boys,” I said and they pouted. 

“Yeah, so I won fair and square,” he said and Jungwon scoffed. “So did Sunghoon yet he’s drawing a punch right now,” he said and I laughed. 

“I owe him a dance,” I said and I was suddenly pulled back with the hands on my hips. 

“Sorry, but you’re mine tonight. I won you with my message… and I want to make up for all the time I’ve lost” he said and I nodded.

“Comfort Sunghoon please?” I asked the two boys and they nodded. 

“I’m guessing you guys are all made up?” I asked and he nodded. 

“Everything is right again… especially my soul that is bound to you” 

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[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What is the Best Way for YOU to Manifest?

I have been receiving so many notes from yall and there are so many new followers!!! thank you all so much for the love and the affirmation! I really enjoy doing this and it helps me stay in a healthy mindset so I'm glad I can assist others while assisting myself.

In today's reading I am using Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot, The Healing Waters Oracle, and The Starseed Oracle. Take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perspectives!

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PILE ONE

Astrology: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Vibes: Blue, navy, black, skulls, ice, Hermes, ocean, coast-line, shark teeth, crystal jewelry, castles, olive tree, music, cats, fish, soda, marine life in general, crying, spicy food, hot meal, alternative fashion

Song: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears

Cards: The Artist, 7 of Cups, Page of Cups, The Ripple Effect, Perspective

Heyooo pile one! Welcome to your reading. The best way yall can manifest is by projecting it out of you. This can be through making art of some kind or just looking at art of what it is that you desire. Either way all you need is to see the desire outside of yourself and it will eventually find its way to you. I see you are quite protective of your desires and it is difficult for you to choose which one you want to manifest most because you want them all so much. You can have them all if you like. You need to admire what you want to manifest. Imagine how you would feel seeing whatever it is in your hands. If it is an object imagine what the texture of it would feel like. What does it look like? Imagine its color. If it is an experience that you wish to manifest imagine how it would feel to experience it. What would your senses take in when you experience it? You know intuitively what it is you want without having it. Doesn't it make sense you would intuitively know what it would be like? The clearer the vision you have, the quicker it will manifest into existence. Just remember anything you wish to manifest is already yours. It has your name written on its spiritual frequency. You just gotta match the frequency. Don't worry about how it will happen. Don't worry about the plan. The universe already knows how it will get to you. You don't have to worry about that part. The details are already taken care of, my dude. Trust the universe.

PILE TWO

Astrology: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Vibes: Green, yellow, white, wild-flowers, children laughing, church bells, lions, eagles, bulls, peanut butter, being barefooted, 222, snakes, curry, ribbons

Song: What I've Got by Sublime

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, 6 of Cups, 2 of Swords, King Tide, Breath of the Cosmos

Hi, pile 2! The best way for you to manifest is through verbal expression. I see many entities watching over you. They wait patiently for you to ask for what you desire. They listen closely to what you truly want. When you ask it must be backed by the desire of your inner child. If it does not align with your inner child's desires the entities might not hear you. The universe wants to cradle your inner child. It coos at them waiting for them to speak. Let your inner baby ask for what it wants. Let them speak. It is common for inner children to be silenced by the world so this might take some convincing. Be patient with them and they will tell your guides everything you truly desire and I swear it'll be dropped in your lap or by your doorstep in no time at all. You must trust your younger self to know what is right. You must trust the universe to deliver it to you. Both of them want you to experience abundance and plenty. Both of them want you to receive the fullness of life. Speak aloud what your younger self wants. Speak it with confidence in the effect it will have on your experience. It must be genuine. Whatever you want is already yours once it is spoken.

PILE THREE

Astrology: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Vibes: Purple, forest green, pink, dogs, umbrellas, door knocker, hibiscus, olives, grapes, plums, violets, pomegranate, venus, 2222, incense smoke, candles, amethyst, cannabis, kayaking, hiking, Saturn

Song: Amethyst by Janine the Machine

Cards: The Fool, The Empress, The Well, Ilse of Avalon, You're Not For Everyone

Pile three, welcome to your reading! The best way for you to manifest is through your actions. I feel how hard you work in my body through the cards. You are far too resilient cus gotdamn your back hurts. Hard work is a way to manifest yes but what might work better for you is to enjoy yourself. By working hard all the time you invite in more work to do. Your actions display your manifestations. If you desire rest and relaxation (which i think you do) then meditation might help you. Do what you enjoy doing. Your physical reality with mirror your mind. Allow your mind to take a break. Embrace what you have wanted to do for a while. I know you have been trying so hard to get the manifestations you desire so deeply. I know those 60 to 80 hour work weeks have been hard on your mind and body. Pamper yourself a little bit. Invite more softenest in. Be willing to receive. Leap into bed, turn on your favorite show, and indulge a little in your favorite snack. Heal your soul. The cards also tell me you are a bit weird and quirky but you hide that a lot. It will help your manifestations come faster if you just embrace your weirdness. Lean into your quirkiness. I feel you are already really connected to Source and Source is where all that we need/desire comes from. You just gotta tap back into that energy again. Wow, okay I think your guides have been telling you to rest for a while. I am hearing them LOUD and CLEAR. They are a little frustrated with you not listening to them. You are pretty stubborn huh? I see you might have hurt yourself at work recently. That was an invitation to rest. Take the invitation, please. I see that if you don't take the invitation now you might be forced to later.

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Vibes: Orange, red, sky blue, lavender, holding hands, hand-shakes, raining when the sun is out, rainbows, martini, fajitas, goblets, queer pride, 1111, throat chakra, oroborous, lotus flower

Song: Dracula from Houston by Butthole Surfers

Cards: The Magician, The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Let It Rain, Water Your Garden

Hey there, pile 4! Welcome to your reading, my friend. The best way you manifest is through communication. It's a bit more specific than that. Specifically when you're communicating in ways that are also taking care of yourself. Some examples of this are journaling, venting to a friend, talking with your lover, setting a boundary or writing letters to a pen pal. When you are verbalizing your desires to your friends be sure you are communicating with those you trust. I also see saying daily affirmations in the mirror would work as well. Which sometimes looks very ritualistic and other times it's you singing a song that makes you feel really positive about yourself in the mirror. Hype yourself up and that is a way to manifest as well. Anything with language involved while you are nourishing your body. I do see it might be difficult for you to gather your thoughts on your own so I do think it would be a bit easier to speak to a trusted advisor. Your words have power. Your language has power. The things that slip from your mouth are magic. Be very intentional about what you say, my dear.

[abellalu]

A Night Unexpected (One-Shot)

Summary: A hard-working lab researcher encounters Loki during a late night working and can not help, but feel captivated by him. However, when the researcher agrees to go on a date with her brash co-worker, Loki ends up saving the day (or at least the date). Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader Word Count: 2.6k

The lab was quiet except for the light hum of the machines. During the day, the lab could feel like it would burst from the noise with all the scientists working on their projects and yelling over the music that Tony Stark insists is required for inventing. Everyone else had already gone home for the night, and now it was just you sitting at your station.

You heard the door squeak and a light footstep. When you turned around, you expected to see another one of your coworkers coming back to retrieve a forgotten item, but instead were greeted by a different presence, Loki. 

“I expected you might be in here,” Loki said, illuminated by only the light in the hallway. Despite the darkness of the lab, you could still see the sharp angles of his face and his gentle smile to you. 

“I suppose I have become predictable,” you laugh quietly. “I just enjoy being able to have some time to myself and thoughts, away from all the chaos.”

“I apologize for interrupting your thoughts. What are you working on now that requires you here so late?”

“It’s not that late Loki, it’s only-” you look at the clock, “I suppose the time got away from me again.”

He laughs and slowly sits down on the stool next to you. “You are very dedicated to your work, I-” he pauses, “It’s admirable how much care you put into the things you love.” 

You look up at him, stunned by what he just said. Your mouth is slightly agape as you try to think of a response. Does he truly think I’m admirable? This is a man who works with the Avengers, who helped save Asgard. Eventually you close your mouth and look down at your work, so Loki continues.

“Tell me more about what you’re working on,” He said with a smile, eyes looking at you with anticipation.

“Are you sure? I tend to ramble and I can get distracted easily.” You laugh pitifully. “I might bore you to death from my talking.”

“I don’t think so, I think you- I mean, your work is quite captivating and I don’t mind rambling.” 

You stare at him for a second, then clear your throat, “Well, I did make a discovery with the sample I was studying…” 

The next morning, you can not stop your mind from wandering back to your conversation with Loki. You’ve always had a different perspective of him than many others. While others saw him as cold and distant, you saw how curious he was, the remarkable intelligence he had. Every conversation you had with him, he showed genuine interest and kindness towards you. 

However, last night, Loki showed admiration for not just your work but for you as a person. In the dark lab, the conversation felt more intimate, and you made yourself more vulnerable to another person than you have for a long time. 

But then doubt starts. What if he was simply being polite? It is hard to wrap your mind around the idea that someone like Loki could truly care about you and not judge for being overly passionate.

As you continued to walk to the lab, you heard someone call your name behind you. While turning around, you feel your heart longing for it to be Loki. But when you look back, you see your coworker John. 

He was nice to work with. He generally completed all his research in a timely manner and he had a contagious laugh that always lifted the spirits of the lab even after tiring days. Yet, you still had to hide your disappointment with a polite smile. 

“Hello John, did you need something?” 

“I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing.” His hands are in his pockets and he shows off his wide white smile. “It’s rare I get to catch you outside of the lab, I wanted to take advantage of this moment.” 

“Oh, well I’ve just been working on my research and I have made some interesting discoveries and I-” 

“You work too hard,” John interrupts. “What do you like to do outside of work?” 

You pause, while certainly your work isn’t your entire life, you care deeply about your research. Does Loki think I’m odd? “Um well, I like-” 

“See this is what I’m talking about, you gotta explore life outside of the lab.” You stare at him considering what he said.

John continues, “Listen, I will be quite frank. I think you are beautiful and I’m hoping you can take some time away from the lab and go out to dinner with me.”

“Oh,” You are thrown off guard by his request. Sure John was always nice, but you never expected him to have any interest in you. 

But maybe you should take advantage of the opportunity. It has been awhile since you’ve been asked out and maybe John was right, you need to spend some time away from the lab.

You hesitate, but finally you take a deep breath, “Yes, I would love to.” You force yourself to give him another smile.

“Good, that’s what I like to hear.” John walks closer to you, instantly you feel as though your space is being invaded. “How about tomorrow night then? I’m excited to see you outside of this compound, see you all dressed up.” He smirks.

“Alright, sounds good.” You look away from him and quicken your pace as you continue on to the lab. It’s good to get outside of your comfort zone, this is good for you, you keep reminding yourself.

Around the corner, Loki overhears your conversation with John. 

Loki never liked John, he reminded him too much of Thor before he got sent to Earth. He can tell you’re uncomfortable from the way you make yourself smaller and your voice being only slightly louder than a whisper.

Loki can’t stop the pang of hurt he feels when he hears you say “yes.” He knows he shouldn’t feel it, that the two of you are barely even friends and you can go and date whoever you like. Still, he wishes that you did not feel pressured to agree, he wishes that he was the one to ask you first. 

All he can hope is that John treats you well.

Loki doesn’t know why he is walking past the lab. He knew you wouldn’t be there tonight, that you would be busy with your date. He grimaces just thinking about it. Loki knows that he is jealous. Jealous that John gets to spend time with you, to hear you laugh. 

But he will keep that jealousy to himself if it means you being happy.

The door is open to the lab and Loki can hear the clattering of tools. That’s peculiar, no one ever works this late. No one except one. Curious, Loki sticks his head through the doorway, only to find the person he least expects. 

“John, what are you doing here,” Loki demands. He tried to keep his voice level. John shouldn’t be here, he should have already left for your date. 

“Ah shit, Loki you scared me,” John grunts. “I had a project I needed to finish before Stark gets on my ass about it, so now I’m stuck here.”

“Shouldn’t you be on your date?” Loki wonders if maybe it was canceled, that you were simply having a night in away from this imbecile man. 

“I know it sucks, I’ll text her later telling her what happened. She’ll understand since she can be such a workaholic freak sometimes.” 

Any composure Loki was then gone, he felt his fists tighten as he stared John down, “You don’t tell her that you would make it.” Loki’s voice is just below a yell, John flinches. “And how dare you call her a freak, she is more dedicated to her work then anyone else here and she should be praised for it. But you,” Loki says gravelly, slowly getting closer to John. “You feel as though you can belittle her for it. And as if you weren’t wasting her time enough by asking for a date, you didn’t even bother to show up”

“Listen, I was planning on showing up,” John trembles. “Work just got the best of me and I gotta stay here for the night. She won’t mind being alone, I chose a nice restaurant too.”

Alone. You are alone right now. 

Loki realizes he needs to change that ultimately. John is a later problem, he can deal with him later. Loki quickly runs out of the room with a plan.

There you are, at a restaurant you can’t afford and far more uptight than you prefer. The lighting is low, but instead of feeling relaxed like when you turn down the lights in the lab, you just feel anxiety.

John hasn’t arrived yet. Your leg is bouncing up and down, as you try to calmly look for him. To see if he is lurking in any of the shadows. 

You had left work early today, well early for you, to have time to get ready. You searched through your closet trying to find something acceptable for the date (eventually you found an old pencil dress you had bought for a grad school reception) and pulled your hair up into a tight updo. 

As you sat at your table, you continued to watch more couples sit down and their orders be taken. You check your phone, he is 20 minutes late. Well that it isn’t too late I guess, maybe I was just too early. 

And so you continue to wait. You want for a man you don’t even care for and who likely doesn’t care about you simply because he made you uncomfortable. He made you feel as though he was your only option.

But then you see a man weaving through the crowd, mumbling quick apologies. Was John always so tall? 

Loki. Loki came.

As he gets closer, you can see his raven black hair is a mess with curls in all different directions. He is wearing a white button down with slacks and a blazer. Such a formal outfit looks natural on him.

“I’m so sorry,” Loki says as he sits down across from you. “I hope you didn’t have to wait too long.”

“Loki, what are you doing here? I’m supposed to be,” he cuts you off.

“Slight change of plans, you came here to have dinner with your date. Only the date has changed, simply as that.” Loki settles into his seat and starts looking at the menu as though there was nothing odd about the situation.

“Loki, you can’t be serious,” you sigh. “Listen, John is going to be here any moment, this isn’t funny.” God, you are so tired of this day. You just want to go home and be by yourself. Screw going outside of your comfort zone. 

“I am being serious.” Loki looks directly at you. For a moment, you wish to look away, but you can’t help staring at his blue eyes. “Unlike that idiot man who originally was going to be here, I’ll admit he was clever to ask you out, I should have done it first. But he was always just going to take advantage of your time whether he came or not.”

You froze, your mind could not comprehend what Loki just said to you. You should ask about why John isn’t here. But all thoughts and questions are just about Loki. “What do you mean you should have done it first?”

“Exactly what it sounds like, I wished I asked you to go on a date with me first.” He leans forward. “When I am in the same room as you, I am constantly astonished by you. The way you speak with such passion,” he smiles sadly. “The way you are always kind to me, I don’t deserve your kindness. I think that’s the reason why I’ve avoided asking you to spend more time with me. It’s silly though because then I just ended up always walking by the lab late at night, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.”

“And I was always there.” You give him a soft smile. “I think you are too hard on yourself, all the kindness I’ve shown you, you deserve. Just look at what you’ve done for me tonight. You showed up. If anything I don’t deserve your kindness, I shouldn’t be surprised John didn’t show up-”

“You’re wrong,” he laughs softly. “Maybe we are both too hard on ourselves. All I know is that you are an intelligent, thoughtful, and beautiful woman.” You feel your cheeks get warm and try to resist a smile. “I just hope I can be good company for the night.” Loki gives you a shy smile, only now you realize that he is just as nervous as you about making a good impression.

You take his hand resting on the table into yours and give him a gentle squeeze, “I know you will be more than good company.”

You and Loki are walking side-by-side, your arms occasionally lightly touching each other. After you shivered when a particularly cool breeze passed by, Loki gave you his jacket. The sidewalk was mostly dark except for the shine of the lamps and the moon.

The walk back to your apartment took much longer than it should have, but you didn’t care. If the two of you took the wrong corner a couple of times, so be it. During your dinner, the two of you talked and laughed the entire time. But now you are walking in a comfortable silence just feeling comforted by the other’s presence. 

Eventually though, all good things come to an end and you reach the entrance of your apartment building.

You look up at him and break the silence, “This is where I live.” 

“Oh, I see,” Loki says quietly. “I’m glad I could get you home safely.”

You smile, “I’m glad too. Thank you, not just for walking me home, but for everything. I truly enjoyed the evening with you. I think it all worked out better than I could have imagined.”

Loki nods his head gently, the corner of his mouth raising slightly. You see him rock on the heels of his feet. Slowly, the two of you move closer together. Loki leans down, staring at your lips, but eventually his lips land on your cheek giving you an affectionate peck. 

You can’t help, but laugh. 

Loki looks at you puzzled, “What is it?” 

“Oh, nothing.” you say before rising to stand on your tiptoes and catch his mouth with your lips. For a moment, he stands there shocked, but eventually relaxes. His hands gently hold the side of your face. 

When you break apart, he rests his forehead against yours. He tries to hold back a boyish laugh, but once you start to laugh again with him, he can’t resist it anymore; the happiness he feels.

You don’t know how long it takes for you to separate from him, occasionally one of you giggles under your breath. Eventually, you walk to the door of your apartment building with an extra skip in your step.

“I’m keeping your jacket,” you smile coyly. “You can get back eventually, as long as you take me out on another date.” 

“Deal.”

[avelera]

A Doylist Argument for Why Alice, Daniel's first wife, is NOT Armand in "Interview with the Vampire"

So I know the IWTV fandom has more or less made up its mind about "Armand = Alice" but I have to say, I am still not convinced. In my opinion, the discussion of how Armand knew what Alice was thinking that night was because Armand was spying on Daniel and Alice as a powerful telepath, all things we've known Armand to do, not because he was somehow Daniel's first wife and at no point did Daniel, an investigative reporter, in the present day recognize that Armand was Alice, his first wife who he would presumably have photos of.

Anyway, let's start from a Doylist angle. Doylist means, "from the creator perspective, analyzing from the point of view as the work of art as something created by people outside the universe of the story, ie, Arthur Conan Doyle wrote Sherlock Holmes, not John Watson who wrote the book in-universe."

First of all, it's pretty unusual for a show to outright lie to the audience. There used to be a whole script writing rule about it and if you look closely, it's very unusual in most TV shows for a character to outright lie unless the story is a mystery and unless the fact they're lying is well supported as being something the audience should be on the lookout for. But even when characters lie on tv, there's usually a bazillion neon signposts going, "The guy twirling his mustache and cackling is a liar!" and we're usually introduced to the actual truth at some point within the story.

Ok, all of that aside because I could talk about when and how and where and the nuances of writing liars into stories and why it's best generally avoided (unless it is the entire point, because audiences tend to take what they're told by a character at face value unless they're specifically told not to, etc etc.), IWTV by contrast with most tv shows is notorious for playing with lies and truth with this in very interesting ways.

Truly, I don't think I've ever seen a show lie to the audience as much as IWTV but even then, IWTV lies in very careful ways.

So, let's examine how IWTV depicts lies and subjective truth, and why I think this makes it unlikely that "Alice = Armand", which would be an absolutely gigantic lie to drop on the audience.

We always know that lies are going to be part of the story in IWTV. There's tons of support and scaffolding to the fact that the audience should know that this is a subjective story, that facts will be misrepresented and misremembered.

For example, it was an entire plot point with a long pay off that Lestat shouldn't have been able to communicate telepathically to Louis after he was turned and it was used to highlight that we should not take anything that happens in the flashbacks as objective truth. This has been told to us over and over and over again in this story.

This is so they can avoid the cheated feeling of a, "Gotcha!" Audiences do not like to be lied to but they do like to solve mysteries. If you're going to lie to the audience, you need to give them a chance to solve it. Generally speaking you accomplish this by telling them ahead of time what they should be looking out for and that there's a mystery incoming, you don't just "Rocks fall, everyone dies," dump it on them out of nowhere then laugh that they were too stupid to figure it out. That enrages audiences.

Now, it might seem like I'm contradicting myself here. "Avelera!" You might say, "We have it well established that something fucky is going on with Daniel's memories! A big red flag was raised that Armand has messed with Daniel too in the flashback to the 70s! We know from the books that Daniel and Armand had a relationship and the show is at least teasing that they had one in the show canon too! Isn't that enough to establish that Alice = Armand is a reasonable mystery that is being hinted at within the context of the story?"

And to this I answer, sure, it's reasonable. I think the number of people who are speculating that Alice = Armand is actually a point in favor of it being true, because a good established mystery should have enough hints that people can begin to put it together before it's confirmed.

But here are my personal hang ups about why it still doesn't feel quite right to me.

We have the fact that Daniel has ruined two marriages. This is set up early. Like, super early, in episode 1, before we even see the vampires. We also establish that Daniel's two marriages are with (presumably mortal) women and that he has 2 daughters. This is set up long before the themes and ideas around the subjectiveness and falsehood of memory are introduced. Generally speaking, you don't introduce a mystery before you introduce that there is a mystery. To my eyes, we were meant to see the details of Daniel's marriage and family life as objective truths about him that inform his character before the interview starts.

Even when we do get into Louis' interview, there is a strict dichotomy to the dreamy, subjective world of Louis' story and recollection, and the sharp reality and harsh brutalist lines of the apartment in the present day.

To my eyes, the meaning is clear: All flashbacks are suspect and subjective, but scenes that take place in the modern day are objective. They are really happening. We can speculate about what things like what the decor tells us about their mindsets and the way Armand and Louis present themselves to Daniel mean, but this isn't a dream or a lie or a framing device happening here. Modern day = objectively true.

Daniel talking about his two failed marriages and his daughters is not presented within the framework of the subjective interview flashback world. These are not facts we've been asked to question, these are the objective building blocks that tell us, objectively, where Daniel is coming from and why he's the bitter old man we see instead of the bright eyed interviewer seen in the IWTV film or books.

The very AU premise of IWTV from the books is that we are in a canon divergence world where Daniel was allowed to grow old, have a family, and have a successful professional life even if he never had a successful personal life. It is the way we are objectively meant to understand his point of view and other elements like his saltiness towards the vampires. It's how we're supposed to understand him as different from his book counterpart. I think it would be cheap to then pull a "gotcha!" about those, personally.

Now, there is a mystery introduced as far as Daniel's memory, recollection, and possible falsehoods in his own understanding of his life but those are questions like: "What happened after Daniel interviewed Louis the first time?" Which is part of the broader question of, "Why are we returning to the interview now?" Which also plays a bit into Daniel's broader questions of, "Am I going to survive this interview?" which is connected to the question of, "Why did I survive the first one?"

But those questions are generally raised and addressed within the flashback to the 70s, because flashbacks, as we've established, are (within the story of the IWTV show) where these doubts about objectivity are allowed to exist.

Note, that Daniel's 2 marriages and the existence of his daughters are not discussed in the flashbacks. What is discussed is, "Why did I survive that night in the 70s?" And we learn that Daniel's memories of that time have been tampered with, there's more to the story that it appears, and he had a moment of connection with Armand that he did not recall.

"But Avelera!" You say, "Is this not further proof of Alice being Armand if we establish that Daniel doesn't have the whole story and that he and Armand had a connection that he doesn't fully remember??"

I think it is a point in favor of the theory. I think it's a point in favor of the theory being a valid one to explore, but I'm still not sold because of a few reasons.

Armand has never:

Presented himself with feminine pronouns, never cast himself in a feminine light, never associated himself with the feminine.

Furthermore, Armand has never disguised himself as a woman. Disguise is a theme in the show, Daniel talks about how people put on disguises before he finds the truth of them. But if "Alice" is a way for Armand to disguise himself in Daniel's memory, it is not a disguise that bears any resemblance to the other disguises we've seen Armand wear throughout the show. It is not a theme for Armand, it is not related to his story. Armand is many things to many people, but he's never ever associated himself with the feminine.

Armand would not need to disguise himself as a woman in Daniel's memory for Daniel to plausibly remember having a relationship with Armand, because Daniel recalls having queer experiences in the 70s. If Daniel remembered a relationship with "Andrei", I'd be more inclined to believe he's substituted himself in Daniel's memories with a mortal. Going so far as to say, "Of these 2 women Daniel told us in the objective present that he's been married to, one of them was a man who was also Armand," just seems a bridge too far in tricking the audience for no apparent reason. To me, that feels like a cheap trick on the audience.

Now, what about those weird things Louis and Armand say about Alice when they're shaming Daniel with the memory of her?

Specifically: what about Armand knowing what Alice is thinking the night she turned Daniel down?

This is my biggest point of difference with those who theorize that Alice = Armand. After all, how could Armand know what Alice was thinking that night unless he was Alice?

To put it simply, I think he knows because he was stalking Daniel that night.

I think we are meant to go, "Wait, what??" when we hear that Armand knows what Alice was thinking that night. That conversation is mean to be a red flag when we're invited to notice that Armand and Daniel have more history together than we, or Daniel!, have been led to believe.

But we also know Armand is a powerful telepath. This is a hugetheme throughout the show.

And, personally, I'm big fan of Queen of the Damned the book. It is my personal theory that IWTV the show takes place in a world where Armand and Daniel had their "Devil's Minion" whirlwind romance in the 70s, but instead of Armand turning Daniel as he requested, he wiped Daniel's memories and then let him go.

IMO, Daniel continued life thinking that he'd lost his memories of the 70s due to drug binges, and then from the 80s onward lived a relatively normal life with his two failed marriages to mortal women, his two daughters, and his award winning career. That's the divergence point.

To me, it seems much more plausible based on everything we know about Armand, that after he "freed" Daniel from their relationship and "allowed" him to live a mortal life instead of "cursing" him with vampirism, that Armand continued to stalk Daniel. Because that's what Armand does. Even in the Devil's Minion chapter of QotD, he's constantly stalking Daniel to the point where all Daniel needs to do in a particular city to have Armand swoop in to save him is think about him really hard.

So to me, what I think that line of dialogue was setting up was not "Armand = Alice" it was, "Armand continued to stalk Daniel after their relationship ended and that is the red flag you're supposed to pick up on from this dialogue, not a convoluted masquerade where Armand replaced Daniel's memories of the relationship with a woman named Alice who at first rejected Daniel but then eventually agreed to marry him."

To me, Armand = Alice just seems too convoluted. It also seems too easy to disprove given that Daniel is an investigative reporter. You're telling me he doesn't have any photos with "Alice", his first wife? You're telling me that if Armand was Alice, Daniel's first wife, that he never looked at "Rashid" or Armand and said, "Wow, you remind me of you my first wife?" Because to me, that's the sort of line you drop (in a more subtle manner) if you want people thinking about Alice = Armand but there is nothing along those lines in the show.

Now, what about the line, "You felt safer holding her hand in Paris."?

That one is a bit of a head scratcher. That one I think does lend to the possibility that "Alice" was male, that "Alice" was Armand, because Paris is discussed as more queer friendly (even though we also have scenes of Louis and Armand receiving homophobic comments while in Paris so... idk, "more comfortable" doesn't mean it was truly accepting, much like Louis felt "more comfortable" being a man of color in Paris even if racism was still rampant, but I digress).

But I didn't take it as a comment on Paris being queer-friendly (and therefore Armand = Alice) at the time when I first watched that scene.

I took Louis statement there as much more of an attack on Daniel's hatred of Paris. Paris is the city of love. America is the country where Daniel lives and works and has his identity as a hard-ass American reporter. In Paris, though, he was able to relax and be in love, far away from his work. Daniel has now grown to hate Paris because Paris was the place where he was young and in love with his first wife, a relationship that ended badly.

I felt that Louis was more calling out Daniel's changing attitudes towards Paris, rather than implying that Paris was more queer-friendly so Daniel could be openly with his lover Armand.

TL;DR: Look, I think the theory of Alice = Armand has a lot to recommend it, but I still have my objections to it. I think it's too big of a trick to pull on the audience to say that investigative reporter Daniel Molloy wouldn't recognize Armand as his first wife upon seeing him. I think it's too big of a trick to pull on the audience because the identity of Daniel's wives has never been presented as a mystery to be solved. I think it's much more plausible that they were setting up that Armand has been stalking Daniel very closely over the years, not that he insinuated himself into Daniel's life under false premises as a woman, a disguise and identity he's never used before.

I think Alice is real. I think Armand is a stalker, and that was meant to be our take away from that conversation.

[sturniozo]

Tutor part Nine (Final Part)

A/n: If you haven’t read the other parts I suggest you do! Also I had a lot of fun writing this and it’s kinda sad to me that it’s over since this is my first series. I really loved this fic so much and thank you all from the bottom of my heart for supporting and bearing with me throughout the whole series. I love you all so much.

masterlist

NOT PROOFREAD

I still can’t make my mind up about Chris. Although Nick has a point, I still can’t get over Chris’s audacity. What makes him think he has the right to tell me I can’t be with anyone?

But Nick swear Chris likes me. He swears Chris has feelings for me and would do anything for me, that he’s distraught now that I’m not talking to him. Even if he is, what do I do?

Do I forgive Chris? In a different perspective it wasn’t a big deal. It mostly just hurt. Maybe I’m overreacting. But I couldn’t help but be upset. I take a deep breath and snap out of my thoughts. I look up at Nick who’s passed out on my couch and I smile to myself. I get up and walk to the kitchen, taking my phone off the charger and sitting at the island counter.

I bite my lip before clicking on Chris’s contact and pressing the call option. I press the phone to my ear and close my eyes. It’s not even a full second before he picks up.

“Y/n?” He says, sounding like he doesn’t believe it’s me calling him.

“Hey Chris.” I say quietly, as to not wake up Nick.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I think… I think I overreacted.”

“No, you were right. I was a dick for that. I like you. I should have just told you that instead of playing around with other girls and getting jealous when another guy liked you.”

“I like you too Chris.” I say back.

“You do?” He breathes.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Can I come over?”

“Yeah, but Nicks asleep.”

“I’ll be fast, I swear.” Chris pleads.

“Come over.” I say and Chris immediately hangs up. I creep back through the living room and to the front door where I wait outside for Chris.

It’s not long before Chris comes running up the street. “Y/n!” He says as he approaches me.

“Hey Chris.” I smile at him.

Chris doesn’t even give it a second thought before he leans down and smashes his lips against mine. Our lips move in sync as our tongues dance together. He pulls away breathlessly. “I’m so sorry. I swear I’ll be the best boyfriend you can have I-“

“Just shut up.” I say and press my lips to his again. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and his hands stay on my hips. Chris pulls away.

“What is it?”

He smiles at me and kisses me again. This time softer. He pulls away and presses a quick kiss to my forehead.

“I have to go, Matt’s covering for me in case mom and dad notice I’m gone.” Chris tells me.

“Just one more kiss?” I ask which makes Chris smile and press his lips to mine once again.

“I really have to go.” He chuckles and pulls away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”

“Yeah. I promise.”

Chris walks off and I head back inside. I lean against the door after I lock back up and smile. I sit back down on the couch next to Nick, who’s still sleeping soundly.

-

There’s a knock on my door first thing in the morning, waking me and Nick up from sleep. I groggily get up and answer the door, and Chris walks in and immediately hugs me tightly, kissing my lips.

“How long was I asleep?” Nick asks as he sees Chris kiss me. We pull apart and Chris smiles at him.

“She called me last night and I apologized.” Chris smiles. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close.

“Hm. Gross.” Nick says as he walks to the kitchen.

I giggle and face Chris who’s got a cutesy smile on his face. “Kiss?” He asks and I nod. He leans down and kisses me softly.

“If I have to watch that one more time I’m gonna throw up.” Nick says behind us. I pull away from the kiss and laugh. “I mean, it’s great that you guys are together and all, but I’d rather not see you guys get your freak on.”

Chris just laughs and pulls me to the couch and sits down with me. He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. “What do you wanna do today?” He asks me.

“I dunno.” I shrug.

“I think we should go on a date. A real one.”

I giggle. “A date? What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, what would you like for a date? Anything you ask for, and it’s yours.”

I think for a moment before answering. “Subway.”

Chris smiles at me. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Tag list : @freshloveforthefit @sturniolo14 @sturniolosreads @bethsturn @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @dwalk41202 @blahbel668 @sturnioloenthusiast

[xmads-omensx]

Once Upon A Dream

Masterlist

Word Count: 2,781

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: fluff, wearing, kissing, mentions of a slight fear of rollercoasters and mild anxiety

Summary: Noah takes Y/N to Disney for their anniversary... except they can't quite get rid of the rest of the guys

Thanks @tosoundlessdarkistare for the idea <3

I have also never been to Disney Land before so please be aware that there will be inaccuracies.

I had always wanted to go to Disney, ever since I was a kid, but I had never had the chance to go. It was always too expensive when I was younger, and by the time we could afford it, I had pretty much outgrown it.

Part of me still wanted to go, but with balancing work and spending time with Noah when he wasn’t on tour, it was hard to find the time to visit with enough time to do everything that I wanted to do.

This wasn’t something I had told Noah outright. It wasn’t exactly something I openly told people. The circle of people I surrounded myself with were, much like Noah, intimidating metalheads covered in tattoos who would have absolutely no business being in Disneyland. The mental image made me laugh.

One day, I had some time between meetings. I was working from home that day, so I didn’t really have anything to do in this particular thirty minute gap, so I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to have a glance at prices for a hypothetical trip to Disneyland. My very surface-level research confirmed the astronomical prices for tickets, and did not factor in accommodation, snacks, souvenirs or a second person to join me on the trip.

I promptly gave up on my side-quest and went back to my meeting, feeling ever so slightly defeated at my lack of accomplishment.

The rest of the day felt heavier. It wasn’t like I desperately wanted to do, but more so something the small child within me yearned for. Plenty of kids my age, friends included all got to experience the joys of Disney, but I never quite reached that.

Crawling into bed after dinner felt nice. Especially with Noah wrapped around me.

“How was your day?” He asked softly.

“Not bad. Work was a bit boring, as usual.” I laughed into his chest, making him laugh as well.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around much today. We were making real progress in the studio.” He said softly, a twinge of regret in his voice.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re making progress, honey.” I replied, snuggling further into his chest.

“Me too.” He kissed the top of my head. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I drifted off to sleep easily. I always did with Noah there.

The next day I woke up to an empty bed. I didn’t like waking up alone. I looked around the room but couldn’t see Noah anywhere. The bathroom was empty and it was only 9:45am, so he shouldn’t be at the studio just yet.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and left our shared bedroom. My office was down the hall and the light was on. Weird. I was sure I had turned it off when you finished work yesterday.

Walking closer to the slightly ajar door, I started to hear voices coming from inside. Noah? Matt? Jolly? Why were they in my office?

I lightly pushed the door open and they hurriedly stopped their conversation. Noah had a look that was equally suspicious as it was guilty.

“What are you guys doing in here?” I asked sleepily, rubbing my eye.

“Nothing really, just chilling.” Noah said, trying to act calm but ultimately failing.

“In my office?” I asked sceptically.

The guys looked between eachother as I just stared at them. From an outside perspective, it must have looked like a mildly disappointed mother scolding her three sons.

“You better take this one man, it was your idea.” Matt said, clapping Noah on his back, making Jolly laugh.

Noah sighed before speaking. “So, you know how our anniversary is coming up soon?”

“Yeah.” I said, a small smile appearing on my face, as it did every time someone mentioned our anniversary

“I thought maybe we could go on a little trip, instead of just going on a nice date or something.” He said quietly, with a small smile on his face.

“A trip where?” I asked, excited.

“That’s a surprise.” Noah replied.

“Disney Land!” Matt and Jolly exclaimed at the same time Noah was speaking.

“Are you both fucking kidding me!” Noah shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

Matt and Jolly laughed at his outburst, hurriedly escaping the room to avoid Noah’s anger as well as the pillow he had picked up to throw at them.

I just watched, laughing at them.

“I’m sorry baby, it was supposed to be a surprise.” He mumbled, looking down at the ground in defeat.

“Hey.” He looked up at me when I began to speak. “It’s okay. I’m looking forward to it.”

He smiled softly and pulled me into his lap, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Good morning beautiful.” He said softly.

“Morning handsome.” I giggled.

We stayed like that for another few moments before deciding to go and get ready for the day.

The rest of the week rolled around quickly as Noah and I’s anniversary approached. We had packed for three days at Disney Land and were eagerly awaiting our trip to roll around.

After what felt like eternity, the time had arrived for us to begin our journey to Disney Land. Luckily, we didn’t live too far away, so we could drive there and back relatively easily, but we still booked a hotel to make out lives easier.

Moving our bags by the front door, Noah began loading up his car. Since it was our anniversary, he wasn’t letting me help him with anything, which frustrated me, but seeing as he was significantly taller than me and could lift me up like it was nothing, there wasn’t much point trying to help him.

“Noah come on. Let me help.” I had argued.

“Nope.” He simply replied.

“Noah ju-“ I started before he interrupted me.

“I said nope.” He looked at me with a jokingly stern expression.

I had sighed, giving up.

Once the car had been packed, Noah clapped his hands together, proud of himself, and we began to make our way to his car.

Before we could even open the door, a small commotion from inside the house made us pause, before what can only be described as a gaggle of arguing men poured out the front door carrying bags with them.

Nick, Folio, Jolly, Matt, Bryan and Steven now all stood on our driveway looking mildly sheepish.

“Where are you guys going?” Noah asked with a suspicious tone, nervously eyeing the bags they each carried along with them.

“So, we may or may not have booked tickets to go with you guys to Disney Land.” Folio said sheepishly.

“Out anniversary trip to Disney Land?” Noah asked, still eyeing them all suspiciously.

The rest of the guys had a guilty look on their faces. “We’ll stay out of your way, we just liked the idea.” Nick added, trying to lessen their guilt.

“You fucking better.” Noah huffed before getting into the drivers seat of his car.

“See you guys later I guess.” I laughed before climbing in the passenger seat.

Noah sighed before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. He remained quiet for the first ten minutes of the drive, which was unlike him. He usually asked for a specific playlist, or talked about our plans for the day.

“Are you okay babe?” I asked, placing my hand on his knee and squeezing it affectionately.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He sighed. “I just wanted to take you somewhere special for a break away from the others. You know? Just us.”

“And whilst that is a very nice idea babe, we both know that neither of us will ever escape those guys.” I laughed.

“Yeah you’re right.” Noah sighed, a weak smile appearing on his face.

“I have a nasty habit of doing that.” I smirked at him.

“shut up. Put some music on babe, you’re choice.” Noah laughed.

“Okay.” I giggled, queuing up my musical theatre playlist, which I knew Noah secretly liked, despite stating that he hated it several times.

The entire drive there I performed every single song, which was probably why Noah constantly protested the playlist every time. I more or less made a mockery of his job.

Once we arrived at the hotel, we unloaded Noah’s car and brought our things up to the hotel room, which wasn’t fancy in the slightest, but did the job for four nights. The guys had booked rooms in the same hotel, but luckily not on the same floor as Noah and I, so we still got some peace and quiet away from them.

Dinner time rolled around and Noah took me out for a very nice, quiet, romantic meal for our anniversary, as had become tradition between the two of us over the last few years.

The morning sunshine lit up our hotel room and aroused me from my sleep, Noah still lay beside me snoring contently away. As much as I hated to wake him, I knew that we probably had to leave soon to avoid the rush at the entrance. I gently brushed the stray hairs off of his face, before placing gentle kisses all over his cheeks, making him stir and his eyes flutter open.

A soft smile appeared on his face. “Hey beautiful.” He groaned.

“Hi baby.” I replied, kissing his forehead.

He wrapped his long, strong arms around my waist, trying to pull me back into bed, but I resisted. “Noah, baby, as much as I would love to hide in bed all day with you, we need to beat the rush and the rest of the guys.”

Noah groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

“This was your idea honey.” I laughed, shaking his shoulder gently, making him roll over and face me again.

“I know.” He sighed before climbing out of bed and dragging me into the bathroom behind him.

After we were showered, dressed and I had done my hair and makeup, it was time to go. We planned on grabbing some breakfast at the park as well as lunch, and just seeing how we felt for dinner.

The drive over there was short and we got parked relatively easily, despite our parking being far to the back of the car park.

We collected our wristbands and entered the park. Neither Noah or myself especially liked rollercoasters, but we were both determined to try at least one before our trip was over.

“Hey! Y/N! Noah!” A voice called from behind us.

Turning around, we saw Jolly towering over the rest of the crowd and waving at us. Noah sighed before waving back at him.

“I guess we aren’t getting our trip for just us two after all.” He groaned.

“Don’t worry about it. We still have our hotel room to ourselves and we can go out and have dinner just us two. It’s all going to be fine, Noah.” I comforted him, squeezing his hand affectionately.

The rest of the guys all crowded around us, shouting out different things that they wanted to do and explore. Most of the guys wanted to try the Guardians of the Galaxy ride, whilst Noah and I were more hesitant. “Maybe we should just say fuck it and try it out.” I murmured to him.

“Babe, if I’m being honest, that sounds like hell to me.” He laughed in reply.

“I think I’ll try it.” I said confidently. “How bad can it be?”

Noah laughed at that. “Sure.”

“No really. I’m going to do it.” I replied confidently. I was determined to prove to him that I could do it, no matter what.

“Fine. If you do it, I’ll buy you as many churros as you want.” He replied.

“Okay. And what do you get?” I asked

“Oh babe, there is no way in hell I’m doing that.” He laughed, pulling me into his side.

I really loved churros, but was the price I would have to pay worth it? Yes.

We decided as a group to head there first and beat the crowds. Queuing took no time at all and we sat down in our seats. Steven and Noah stayed back holding our bags, whilst the rest of us went on together.

I was sandwiched in between Matt and Jolly, gripping both their hands tightly. My heart raced inside my chest as the attendant came over and lowered the security bar, securing us in place.

“You good?” Matt asked.

I just nodded my head.

He laughed in reply. “It’ll be over before you’ve even realised it’s started.”

I nodded again. Having Matt and Jolly beside me helped calm my nerves ever so slightly.

Suddenly, the ride jolted forward and we were off. Music flooded into my ears, but I couldn’t make out what songs they were playing. All I knew was that it was cheesy 80s hits that I presumed were in the movie. The cart flew along the tracks quickly, taking the air out of my lungs. But it wasn’t fear that I was feeling. It was joy. Pure joy.

I laughed and screamed alongside the rest of the people on the ride. Who knew something like this could be so much fun?

Like Matt had said, it was over before I knew it and the ride pulled to a stop.

My legs felt like spaghetti as I stood up after dismounting the ride. I laughed and clung onto Matt as we walked back to Noah and Steven who were sat on a bench nearby eating something that looked like… a turkey leg?

“Have fun guys?” Steven called out to us. We erupted in various replies of “yes”, “holy shit” and “fuck yeah” as we rejoined them.

“Have fun babe?” Noah asked as he put an arm around my shoulder.

“Yeah, I did actually.” I replied with a wide grin. “It was way more fun than I expected.”

“That’s great babe.” He laughed.

“What the fuck are you eating?” I asked.

“Oh this?” He held up what I thought might be a turkey leg, and ripped a chunk off of it with his teeth, before chewing aggressively. “It’s turkey.” He said with his mouth still full.

I turned away from him with a grimace, making the other guys laugh.

The rest of our day was filled with countless more rides, as Noah now couldn’t keep me off of them, and stupid group photos, obviously pulling weird faces and poses. Keeping up his end of the bargain, like a true gentleman, Noah bought me as many churros as I wanted. In fact, he kept it up for the rest of our stay at Disney Land, which filled me with immense joy.

On our last day, Noah said he had a surprise for me. The guys had shared a knowing look before leaving us to it and heading back to the hotel for the night.

Noah took my hand and guided me to a quiet spot near a restaurant that was on a slight hill and gave us a brilliant view of the Sleeping Beauty castle, whilst being completely out of sight from the crowd.

“What’s going on Noah?” I asked with a laugh.

“Nothing, just wanna show you something.” He replied with a smile.

I gave him a suspicious look before returning my gaze back to the castle.

“I guess I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’m glad we did this trip.” He said after a long pause.

“I love you too.” I said, squeezing his hand. “I’m glad we did this too, even though it’s a bit out of your comfort zone.”

“You got that right.” He laughed.

“Well I do tend to-“ I started.

“Don’t you dare say you’re always right.” He laughed, shoving me playfully.

“Well, I am.” I repied.

“Shush.” He pulled me into his side.

“Why did you even suggest Disney Land?” I asked, looking up at him.

“You never got to go as a kid, and it’s pretty much right on our doorstep.” He replied.

“You remembered that?” I asked, surprised.

“Well, duh. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t.” he laughed, kissing the top of my head.

We stood there in silence as the fireworks started, I leaned back into Noah’s chest as he began to gently sway us back and forth to the music that was playing.

“I love you.” He muttered into my hair.

“I love you more.” I whispered back

“Not possible.” Noah replied softly.

He began humming along to the song, his chest vibrating behind my back as the fireworks illuminated the night sky.

So this is what having a soulmate feels like? Like living in a dream that never ends.

[iknowicanbutwhy]

by the time one of these sifs FINALLY manages to break the loops these guys are gonna be so exhausted they won't even have the energy to be mad. maybe they'll just form a suicide pact and kill themselves together instead of beating sif up about it idk

Au contraire they start a fighting arena amongst themselves except all of them have been sitting around for so long they're all really bad at it. And when they realize this - having hung around each other for so long they've formed SOME kind of connection - they all collectively decide to chase Sif around Dormont and then it's a game of Manhunt.

...Okay but if i were to take this seriously, it was already really sad to see just one Loop disappear, but a whole lot of them? Suddenly this silly gaggle (nebula? constellation? murder) of stars that kept you company because they wouldn't shut up sometimes and were all too quiet other times disappears entirely? Leaving you all alone to brave the new future?

I love Loop so much because they didn't just feel like another, worse Siffrin. They felt like their own person, worthy of their own happy..ish ever after! It was so, so sad seeing them disappear. The thing about this silly AU is that all the Loops end up feeling like one singular entity in different bodies. And they'll probably stay like that, from the point of view I'm drawing. Because it's a funny AU and I'm drawing it for the funnies.

But to each other, they... Well? They actually feel the same way. Like copies. Like failed copies. Like the same person. Like it's easy to mistake each other and difficult to differentiate each other, even from themselves. Makes it easier to be mean to each other. I'm telling you, even the original Loop isn't entirely sure anymore if they're the original, and it hurts them the most. Pretending to be different people is a massive relief to all of them, because now they feel like individuals (even if they still feel like worse versions of another person). Little Loop is lucky to have always had a physically distinguishing figure, it really changes their perspective and everyone else's perspective on them.

So it's really easy to think they'd just kill each other, these other failed copies, or have gotten so used to the feeling of being "the failed ones" that they simply give up, but you know what I think? I think that, once you take an outside look at yourself and start treating yourself as a fellow human, you can be surprisingly empathetic. Towards yourself, I know! And they have the chance to start doing that.

When I write a story, it's like I'm letting little pieces of myself interact in ways that I can remain both distant from and very connected to. I feel like, when the Loops start playing these characters (these people, but they're ignoring that) they love, being silly and disconnecting from their own grief for a bit, they can have fun together. Like writing a story and smiling to yourself. Like laughing at your own thoughts.

I think maybe they'd get to have a talk, eventually. About how they want this story to end. About how they hope it's not already the end for them, that the worlds or timelines or whatever they came from aren't dead and gone.

Maybe... maybe they'd be really scared. But they wouldn't be "Loop who failed and Siffrin who succeeded," divided firmly by that line. Isolated by that line. I don't know what they would be? But it might feel less. lonely. to know that this Siffrin could just as easily been one of them. And was, many times. The physical evidence is right there, fading away one by one. And for the ones that remain for now, wouldn't you hope they're going home?

[huellitaa]

friendship breakups 🎀 . ࣪˖

OKAY. so. i was best friends with this girl for 7 years and only recently i ditched her! after so so so so long i ditched her. finally. and my god i feel SO much better.

˚₊‧꒰ა friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone that you experience a bond with.

˚₊‧꒰ა toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone who drains you and hurts you while still considering themselves a friend.

i think one of the hardest parts of this whole situation is figuring out what makes somebody toxic for you without constantly over-romanticising all the good parts.

˚₊‧꒰ა clear signs of a toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

♡ dreading communication with them

♡ feeling drained after interactions

♡ being insecure and fearful around them

♡ holding off on telling them big things

♡ used as a joke way too often

♡ kept in the dark as just a "backup plan"

♡ left out & overlooked.

a friend should be somebody who hypes you up and makes you laugh and rambles for ages with you and makes dumb jokes with you and makes you happy and doesn't leave you out or make you feel alienated or upset or anything like that. it took me 4 whole years to actually realise this.

now, if you find yourself in a position where you are experiencing these signs of a toxic friendship but aren't really sure what to do, this is what i did!:

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ weigh out the goods & bads

if you're currently stuck with somebody who makes you feel drained and insecure and whatever else may be making you feel as though maybe you should cut them off, it sounds a little weird but as somebody who works way better puzzling things out when doing it on paper, i made a whole pros and cons list of what this friendship brings to my life. having a physical representation of your confusing thought process around the whole situation can be very beneficial and help to put your thoughts into clarity so you can make a decision that actually helps and aligns with you and go from there.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ figure out your friendship standards

everybody always talks about having standards in romantic relationships and love and all that but i barely hear anything on standards for friendships. friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and having standards for friendships is equally essential as it would be in a relationship if you dont want to attract scruffy, dirty, insecure people who will only drag you down. ask yourself what your ideal friend looks like; somebody who shares your interests, somebody who supports you, somebody with a similar mindset to you, similar background to you; what is it that you want in a friendship? how do you define friendship? what does that look like for you? make a list and keep it somewhere safe. refer to this when making new friends and cutting them off.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ think back on your actions

a harsh truth of life is sometimes we are the problem. something i did for way longer than i should have is spend time going back over my every word, every movement, every action to see if there was something i did wrong. now dont do what i did, but do just sit down for a little bit and think if there was anything you could have possibly done and bring it up with them to resolve it if you did. admitting your wrongs is not weak. it is the strongest thing one can do.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ get a second opinion

one thing that helped me was talking to my mum about it. me and my mum are really close so i chose her but it can be another close friend, a parent, a partner, just whatever you feel comfy with. try to put it into a hypothetical situation so that they have no prior biased views on the situation and explain to them the scenario and see what they would do and what they would say. if you have no one to do it with, then thats absolutely fine because this is completely optional and just helped me to reassure myself a bit, but you can also think of it from an outsiders perspective or if a friend was telling you that they are experiencing what you're currently going through so you can get an unbiased opinion from yourself.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ let yourself feel how you feel

if you need to, just sit and cry for a bit. journal, write, wallow in your own sadness for a bit if thats what you need to release it from yourself. suppressing and holding all this in is way, way worse for you than letting it out could ever be. just have one night where you rot and cry and be sad about it. this releases the negative energy you've been holding onto about it and i promise you will feel so much lighter afterwards.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ demonising and romanticising

in these situations, its best to keep a neutral mindset towards them. even if its toxic, they were your friends in the first place for a reason and even if you shouldn't romanticise them dont demonise them and completely despise them either because thats not good for you or them. they are still an experience you went through in your life and are to be learnt from, nothing more. respect the good parts just as much as the bad parts.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ dealing with conflict

something i really really worried about for years when i wanted to leave my ex-best friend was the falling out and the social backlash, seeing as she's fairly popular too. but while i was expecting sooo much backlash and conflict, it turns out that if you do it the right way, nobody really cares. sure, it might attract a little attention for a while, but trust in yourself and remembering that nobody will actually care about this in a few weeks will get you through and you can move on with your life. if people can turn against you from only hearing one side of the story, they were never your people. plus, why are you stressing about validation from people you don't even like in the first place?

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ detachment

one thing that has saved me in many, many situations, including this one, is not giving a fuck. i will be making a post on detachment at some point but detachment in friendship breakups especially is so important because its easy to let your emotions get the best of you and control you and make irrational decisions in these situations. staying completely indifferent and detached and comfortable in yourself with you as your main priority has to be one of if not the most important part of this whole process.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ moving on

obviously moving on is difficult. moving on might be one of the most difficult things about the whole experience of a friendship breakup. so along with feeling the emotions and releasing them like i mentioned earlier, acknowledge that it's okay to mourn the past, even if they were bad for you. thats perfectly normal and okay. but do not let it consume you. trust in yourself and that this is for the best, and be proud of yourself for getting out of that friendship because there's so much you haven't yet learned and so many people you haven't yet met that will change your whole life in ways you can't possibly imagine right now. ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ trusting yourself

trust that no matter what's going on right now you will always be able to bounce back from it. trust your judgement and that if it makes you feel this bad, you arent overreacting, you arent overemotional, you arent just sensitive and it is genuinely affecting and impacting you. everything is an experience to be learnt and grow from and this is no different. its uncomfortable and its scary but the shift to getting everything you want is often scary and uncomfortable because of how much has to change to achieve that reality. if there's one person you're always going to have no matter what, it's going to be you. you are your own best friend. trust yourself above anybody and everybody else.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ actually cutting them off

one thing i did that i feel could have ended things a lot easier is not procrastinate the process of actually cutting them off. it was a little easier for me because she was ghosting me anyway so i did the same and told her no whenever she wanted me to do something because i refuse to be a second option, but if you're not comfortable with that and can't do it in a good or polite way because of whatever circumstances you might be in then just politely tell them. plan out what you wanna say in your head, dont think about it and just tell them. it will all be for the best, i promise. being uncomfortable is a part of change. you can do this.

overall, everybody enters your life and everybody leaves your life for a reason. please don't take this personally. people are not meant to stay forever. relationships are precious and fleeting, no matter what kind, and you should treasure them, good or bad, while accepting it might not be right for you anymore. people aren't supposed to stay forever and losing friends shows that you are growing. you've got this, okay? 💞💗

[justmeinadaze]

My Little Man (Steddie X You) (Part of HFOD and SS Universe)

A/N: I guess you guys would call this season 3? Lol. My angst hella took over as well as some feelings I've been dealing with lately.

Enjoy please <3.

Part of this Universe

Warnings: Demon Steddie & Human Fem Reader, No SMUT in this one, FLUFF, they love each other and their son. Demon Steddie is navigating how to be human while taking care of a pregnant Y/N.

ANGST: More or less the normal level of angst that comes with this series. The theme is grief and PTSD (from a soldiers perspective). Y/N is still struggling with the notion of her parents not being there to see Ellis grow up and the guys (especially Steve) is struggling with being raised how they were and taught to fight. Eddie struggles with feelings of enabling because of everything they went through.

The dreams probably have the most feels. They talk to their loved ones and Ellis says goodbye. Steve has nightmares that involve his dad being a dick (of course) and something that happens within one angers Eddie (blood briefly mentioned).

Word Count: 6398

"Don't you know I love you more than life itself Don't you know that you're my pride And I would not have you walking through this world Without me by your side

Go to sleep my little man Don't you weep my little man"

3 Months Pregnant

Steve sits on the bench outside of the library he had just exited from, sighing heavily as he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

Ever since the three of you got home, he and Eddie had been doing research on which human job they would best be suited for in your realm but were struggling to find much of anything. For him, it was even more difficult since he was raised to be a solider. He genuinely didn’t know how to do anything else and it didn’t help that even though you explained a lot of human behavior, he still felt slightly ignorant with many things. 

“May I sit?” The demon jumped at the sound of a gravelly voice beside him. “Oh, shit. Sorry, son. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s alright. Um, please.”, he gestures towards the area beside him causing the man to flash him a thankful grin as he takes a seat. 

“How long?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked how long. I know the look of a fellow veteran trying to figure out how to adapt to a civilian lifestyle. How long has it been since you saw combat?”

“Oh, uh, it’s…it’s been a few years. But I did it the bulk of my life.”

“I can imagine with you being so young. I bet one of your parents was a solider as well?”

“Wow. Yeah, that’s amazing. How did you…?”

“I told you, son. I know the look.”, the man chuckles as he extends his hand. “Truman Duvall; Ex Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Army.”

“Steven Harrington. Um, Sergeant in the US Army. Well, Ex.”, Steve laughs nervously as he hopes his memory of things he’s learned about humans in the past is still up to date.

“Nice to meet you. If I may ask, what were you thinking so hard about specifically?”

“My girlfriend is pregnant and I’m trying to find a job so I can help support my family. I want my son to have a better life then I did but I have no idea where to start.”

“Congratulations on the little bundle! I have four myself, two of them grown and out of the house already. My wife pretends like she’s glad they’re out but she misses them.”, he laughs. “I don’t know if you would be willing but down the street here, we have a recreation center where veterans go to relax and let loose. They’ve been looking for a counselor to lead the group therapy. I think you’d be a good fit.”

“Yeah? Um, I guess I could…”

“Look, you don’t even have to make a decision right now. Why don’t meet me there tonight? We’re having a little party get together thing. Of course, you can bring the girlfriend and you both can meet the person in charge. See if you feel comfortable.”

“O-Ok. I, um…” Steve pauses as he debates on if he should tell the truth about Eddie. That was a fight they had when it came to going home. He had been afraid that they would have to hide their relationship and he never wanted to hide or be hidden when it came to the man he loved. But this is also where he wanted to raise his son and he didn’t want to cause a commotion before you four even had a chance to settle in. What would Eddie do?

“Can I bring my boyfriend as well? He’s a veteran to. We actually met during our tour.”

Truman’s mouth pouted out ever so slightly as his eyebrows lifted in surprise. 

“Oh, um, sure! The more the merrier.”

***

“Steven, oh my God, that’s amazing!”, you exclaim as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Hang on, now. I don’t have a job yet but…”

“Don’t sell yourself short, bud.”, Eddie grins from his place on the kitchen counter. 

“I hope it’s ok that I kind of…announced…our relationship. We actually didn’t talk about what we wanted to do but I know if we had stayed in our realm I’d want to be honest.”

The long-haired demon opened his arms and Steve promptly placed himself between his legs with his back against his chest while Eddie rested his chin on his shoulder. 

“I’m glad you did. I love you and I’m not hiding that.”

“Me either.”, you smiled as they beamed right back. 

Suddenly, the happiness drains from your face before you turn and bolt towards the bathroom. You three had been home for a couple of months and within the past week some of the normal symptoms of pregnancy began springing up such as the morning sickness you were currently experiencing. 

“It’s alright, baby. Get it all out.”, Eddie tries to sooth as he holds your hair into a makeshift ponytail. As soon as you were finished, you fell back into his arms and thanked Steve when he handed you a bottle of water. 

“This is normal, right? Humans get nauseas like this.”, he asked. 

“Yeah, honey. It’s normal. I’m alright. I think I’m going to take a nap so I can be 100% for tonight.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to go.”

“No, Steve, I want to go. I want to see where you’ll be and the people you’ll be around.”

################

“Steve! You made it.”, Truman shouts excitedly as he reaches out to shake the boy’s hand. “You must be the girlfriend.”

“Hi. I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N. What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman and this is your…boyfriend? Right, son?”

“Yes, sir. This is Edward.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Steve said you’re a veteran as well. Were you a sergeant like himself?”

“Oh, uh, no. I was more of a private I guess you’d say. But we spent a lot of time together especially on the battlefield.”

“Wow and for you two to still be so close and find a relationship through all that chaos! That’s amazing. I always tell my wife if she met me during my tour she would have hated me. A lot of civilians don’t understand the headspace you have to fall into to do what we have to do.”

Both demon’s nod in understanding and you can’t help but softly smile as you watch them interact with the other people around them. Steve was definitely in his element and you could tell in some way he felt more comfortable in this setting because he was around beings who seemed to understand what they both went through. As his new friend spoke, his eyes remained intense and focused as he absorbed everything he said. 

Eddie excused himself to grab some drinks but became distracted talking to another couple and began to laugh at something they were saying. The first time you met him he expressed a particular distain for humans but he seemed to open up more since they were freed, finding something interesting in each person he interacted with. 

“Hey, this is my girlfriend Y/N.”, he introduces when you walk over to check on him. “Y/N, this is Lisa and Shawn Bennett. Lisa did a tour in the Air Force flying jets and Shawn was a DJ overseas.”

“Oh wow. For the military or just on your own?”

“For the military. I’m kind of like that Cronauer guy they made the movie about. I read the reports and played music I thought would lift the troops spirits.”, the man explains. 

“Kind of like me.”, Eddie whispers in your ear making you smile. “What do you two do now if I may ask? Steve and I have been searching for employment but we have no idea what would fit us.”

“Well, I actually own a store of my own selling books and comics; things like that. I’m a bit of a nerd.”, Lisa laughs. 

“And I teach media and music courses at the local community college up here.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun actually. Are they looking for another music teacher because Eddie is an amazing musician.”

“Yeah? Unfortunately, they aren’t but you should consider maybe starting your own business as well. You can teach kids to play guitar or any other instruments you know and you can do it from your house or maybe the music store downtown is hiring.”

“Are you looking for a job to, Y/N? I’m trying to hire someone to help me with my shop.”, Lisa offers with a smile. 

“Oh, I’d love that. I’m, uh, I’m actually pregnant though and I wouldn’t want to leave you stranded after you just hired me.”

“That’s fantastic! Don’t even worry about it. You don’t seem very far along yet. I can teach you the ropes before you give birth and that way when you come back, you’ll already know what to do!”

As you glance at Eddie, his eyes widen with encouragement as he nods his head. 

“Ok, I’d love to work for you.”

Lisa claps and gives you a big hug as your demon beams behind you.

***

“Hello fellow veterans, spouses, and partners! Glad you could all join us tonight. I hope you are having some much needed fun! I do have just a quick announcement to make. I would like to introduce you to Steven Harrington who is new to Hawkins and after speaking with him I feel like he will be a great addition to our center here as the group counselor.” The man at the podium smiles as he gestures towards the demon and everyone around the room claps. “Steve, why don’t you introduce yourself?”

When he hesitates, you gently push him forward, urging him softly before he relents and nervously climbs up the makeshift stage. 

“Um, hi. Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve been seen by so many people.” The people chuckle as you and Eddie grin knowingly. “Like Thomas said, I’m, uh, new to Hawkins but my girlfriend is from here and my partner and I thought it would be better for her to be back home where she felt safe with her family so we can start raising our own. I-I-I…shit I used to better at this.”, he chuckles before glancing your way, your gentle smile comforting him. 

“I was raised in a military household. My dad was a solider so that’s what I was expected to be. As soon as I was able, he handed me a weapon and commanded I train to be the best. There was no wiggle room there. It was all or nothing. When I saw war…I shut down and did what I had to. I took no pleasure in killing, contrary to popular belief.”

“The worst part about shutting down that way was how it flowed into my every day. I was as an asshole to everyone including women I dated and people I trained… except for some of the people closest to me…Robin, Chrissy, and Eddie. When Edward and I got out…I felt so out of control…so lost. I lost my identity and everything I knew. If I didn’t have him by my side… Then we met Y/N and without her we literally wouldn’t be here today.”

Steve paused, looking out into the crowd, and realizing he may be talking too much. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you so much for this opportunity and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

The people in the room clap as he steps off the stage and you immediately wrap your arms around his waist as Eddie lightly caresses his cheek. 

***

4 Months Pregnant

You beam at Eddie as he softly strums his instrument. That day after Shawn suggested it, he went down to the music store in town and applied for the job as a guitar instructor. After playing and showing off for them he got the job. He loved hearing the kids try and play reminding him of the children he watched over with Steve during their war. 

Today was everyone’s day off so they were being lazy in bed with you in your pajamas and both demons in nothing but their sweats. 

“Ok, this thing here says for humans you should be feeling him move around now.”, Steve announced as he gestured towards the book he was reading. 

“I haven’t felt him move yet unless the occasional nausea is him saying hello.”, you giggle. Leaning over him, you grab his hand and place it on the middle of your stomach. “Talk to him.”

“Uh, I…hey, Ellis. It’s, um, your daddy. I’m not scaring him with my voice, right?”

“No, baby.”, you grin as you pet his head. “This is how he’ll get used to it though. Hearing and seeing you both in your demon form.”

“Buddy, you have no reason to be afraid of us in any form. I’m sorry your dads aren’t as beautiful as you and your mom but—”

“Hey, speak for yourself.”, Eddie teases making you laugh. “I’m a sexy motherfucker.”

“Oh.”

“What?”, Steve’s eyes shift up excitedly. 

“You didn’t feel that?”

When he shakes his head, you place his hand closer to the side you felt movement, gesturing for the other demon to do the same.

“Say something else.”

“Hey Ellis. This is your other daddy and I assure you we are very handsome.”

“Holy shit.”, Steve exhales as he grins up towards his partner. “That’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you agree, kid.”, Eddie smiles.

***

6 Months Pregnant

Eddie growls at the crib he was trying to assemble as his glowing red eyes glare at the instructions again. Over these past couple of months, you three had made your dad’s old room your bedroom and begun shifting the room you used to sleep in into Ellis’s. 

Going off his personality from your dreams, you painted the room blue with images of guitars along the base boards and up along the ridges of the ceiling. Near where his crib would be, you put up pictures of everyone in his family that loved him including Robin, Wayne, Dustin, and everyone who had passed that he had been conversing with these past six months. 

The boys were able to get everything a baby would need from your realm but also from theirs including those books that Eddie had wrote and some toys demons normally played with at a young age. 

“Whoever invented these contraptions should be tortured for eternity.”, Eddie grunted as he tried again putting a few of the pieces together. 

“You guys don’t have cribs in your realm?” 

“Yeah but they were like boxes essentially. Or at least mine was. I’m sure Steven had gold porcelain or some shit.”

“No.”, Steve chuckled as he took the wrong part from his partner’s hand and handed him the correct one. “I had a regular little wooden thing with soft blankets.”

“I wish I could see what you two were like as kids.”

Since they left Maeve, they weren’t able to snap memories into your head like they were before. It hurt them more than you because you always seemed curious about them and they wished they could show you everything from their point of view, not Henry’s or Mirage’s. 

“How much did Mirage show you?”

“She showed me big events more than anything. Steve always looking for his parents especially your mom. She did play sword fight with you once and you looked so happy until your dad yelled at her for ‘ruining your training’.” You rolled your eyes as Steve pet your head and sighed. “Eddie, I did see what your uncle told me about with your mom singing to you.” The demon’s glow receded in his eyes as he glanced your way with a small smile. 

“Until my father told her to shut up?”

Tilting forward, you crawled over his work to kiss his lips making his smile widen as he caressed your face. 

“What about your parents, honey?”

“Both my parents were amazing. My dad always loved to make us laugh. He liked being a girl dad and my mom exploited that.”, you giggle. “She would make him wear tutus while I would do his makeup and they both would dance.”

A tear left your eyes and both demons promptly gave you their attention. 

“I’m sorry you guys don’t have your parents here. You both deserve better.”

“Baby, it’s ok—”

“Eddie it’s not okay.”

“Will you let me finish?”, he jokes. “It’s ok because I had my mom and I had Wayne. Then as I got older I got my other family. Steven, Robin, Chrissy, and even Dustin. Now, sweetheart, I have you two and Ellis. I couldn’t be happier.”

“I agree. I’m thankful for the memories I do have with my mom but the kids I trained and beings I fought with…that was my family. I’m so excited to see what’s in store for us, you know. See what Ellis is going to do with his life.”

You smiled as you kissed their lips before you wince and lean away. 

“Ow. Little butthead is kicking my side.”

“Hey, kid.”, Eddie teases as he tilts towards your tummy. “Why don’t you stop hurting your mother and come help me make your torture technic of a crib.”

###############

8 months Pregnant

You, Steve, and Eddie walked into the house you three had been in so many times these last few months except now it was completely empty. All the furniture and everything was completely absent as you entered the living room full of people.

“Ellis?”

Everyone in the room moved out of the way to where Eddie’s mom was hugging her grandson to her chest as he sobbed. 

“I don wanna go!”

“You have to, baby. Your mommy and daddies need you now. They’ve been waiting so long to see you.”

“Mom?”, Eddie asked as he stepped towards her. “What’s going on?”

She softly smiled as she handed him to your father who spun him around as he chuckled but your son just buried his face further in his neck. 

“Come on, little guy. Your parents have made you an awesome bedroom and knowing my daughter she’s going to show you so many amazing things.”

The little boy shook his head as your dad kissed his temple before handing him to your mom. 

“Steven, remember, you once told me that everything would be ok and you were right. I’ve watched you both take care of my baby and I assure you, you both are going to be more than ok. You are going to be amazing parents.”

He beamed at him as he wrapped his arms around the demon and pulled him in for a hug. 

Your mother grinned as she reached out to touch your face as you started to cry. 

“I’m scared to do this without you.”, you whisper. 

Your parent’s smiles widen as she kisses her grandson and places him in your arms. 

“We’re not going anywhere. We’re always right here.”, she soothes as she points to Ellis’s forehead. “Right behind that door, honey.”

“I love you.”, you son coos as each grandparent reciprocates his affection. 

As both your demons come to your side, you look down to no longer see a toddler but a newborn baby wiggling in your arms. Steve gently pets his head as Eddie reaches for his tiny hand that immediately clings to his finger. 

All of your eyes shoot open but yours is followed by a grunt as you place your hands on your stomach. 

“Fuck! I think…”

They don’t waste any time as they collect you and your things before rushing towards the hospital. 

***

“How long are they going to keep him back there?”, Eddie growled as he held your hand.

“Calm down. Y/N said this was normal. They need to clean him, check his vitals, and all that.”

“Yeah, but Steven, what if something comes up in those vitals that frightens a human.”

The other demon’s eyes flash red in warning in his direction as a low rumble leaves his chest. 

“Maybe we should have had him in your realm.”, you respond groggily as your heavy eyes shift their way. 

“Baby, don’t let Edward scare you, ok? He’s fine. He’s got more human in him right now than anything. Dustin said he would grow into his demon parts.”

“He also said we’re the first couple ever to do this so…”

“Edward Munson, I swear—“, Steve’s anger was cut short when the door to your hospital room opened and a nurse casually sauntered in.

“Hey Munson-Harrington family.”, she smiles. “We have little Ellis here fast asleep and everything looks good. Mommy, how are you feeling?”

“Like I gave birth.” The nurse laughs at your joke as your demons roll their eyes. “I’m alright. A bit exhausted.”

“Yeah, that’s normal, sweetheart. Good news is your baby is in perfect health. Would you like to meet him?” Your eyes fully open as you sit up, smiling softly when she places him in your arms.  “I’ll come check on you three in a bit.”

Tears start to fall as you fully take him in. Right now, he seemed like a completely normal child with soft skin and just a sliver of brown hair poking out of his blue beanie. 

“Hey, honey. You’re so handsome. I’m your mommy.”, you coo in a whisper as you kiss his forehead. “Oh my god, he smells so good.”, you laugh as you look their way. 

Eddie was the first to step forward, sitting beside you on the bed as he caressed his son’s chubby little cheek with his finger. 

“Holy shit. He’s so soft.”, he breathes. “You’re perfect, kid.”

Steve finally takes a seat as well and reaches out to feel his tiny hand. 

“He’s warm to. Is that normal?” When you nod, he almost breathes a sigh of relief. “Ellis, we’re your daddies. You ARE perfect, oh my god.”

The baby squirms a bit in your hold giving them pause before pulling away. 

“I think that was his way of saying thank you.”, you smile. 

###########

3 Weeks Old

“Fascinating.”, Dustin muses as he rocks Ellis in his arms while swaying around the living room. “He really does look just like a little human with the soft skin and everything. Nothing has stood out?”

“Can you stop analyzing our baby and just enjoy him?”, Eddie snaps as he sighs. 

“No, nothing.”, you giggle, answering his question. “And so far he seems to eat but not as much as normal babies.”

“How so?”

“Babies are supposed to eat every two hours; we’ve been feeding him every six. I was worried at first but we just took him the doctor and she said he was healthy. When I tried to give him a bottle every two he would cry and push at my hands.”

“Interesting. That has to be hard, Y/N. Him not being able to verbally tell you things like that. I hated when my kids cried in general but you…you still have that whole trial and error thing going.”

Glancing towards your demons, Eddie had fallen asleep with his head nestled in Steve’s lap on the couch who was already napping when Dustin arrived. 

“It is. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us though and I know they do to. I’ve been keeping a record like you suggested should this ever happen for anyone else.”

“Good.” When he notices your gaze shift again, he takes a seat on the floor beside you and lays Ellis on the blanket between you both. “Everything ok with you three?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little worried. They were both already so protective over me and now that he’s here… Steve’s been having nightmares. He pretends he doesn’t but I hear him groaning in his sleep and feel him wake up. I asked him the other night if he still has access to my dreams and he said he can’t find the door anymore.”

A tear fell down your check as Dustin reached out to comfort you. 

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Eddie’s attitude has been a lot shorter lately. He’s exhausted and worried about the three of us. He triple checks everything to the point that I find him asleep on the floor by Ellis’s crib because he’s too tired to make it back to our bed and would just rather be closer to his son just in case.”

“What about you? Besides the worry I mean.”

“I know I’m probably being paranoid but sometimes I feel like we’re being watched. It may just be because of our dynamic. I know not everyone is excepting like the new friends we’ve made but no one has said anything… I don’t know. Just…mom brain maybe.”

“Hm, maybe. Keep an eye on that. From what you’ve told me, you’re always pretty intuitive. Wouldn’t want to miss something you know?”

#########

5 Weeks Old

“Oh my god, Y/N, look at him.”, Lisa coos at Ellis as she holds him in her arms. 

“Are you alright, Steve? You look like you haven’t slept.”, Shawn chuckles. 

“Yeah, I’m doing alright. Just…little guy keeping me up.”, he forces a smile. 

Your friends were having a get together for veterans and their families and since Steve worked at the center you suggested you three should go and be seen. Truthfully, you thought it would be good for them both to get out of the house as well as having him specifically spend some time with his new veteran friends to talk about anything that may be weighing on his mind causing his nightmares.

As the night wore on you noticed their soft grins return to their faces as he and Eddie mingled with the people around them. They radiated warmth as they talked about their son and everything he had done with his short little life so far.

“Have you guys started baby proofing yet? I swear when my daughter started crawling it was like she knew which areas were the bad ones!”

“Oh no, not yet. He did smile at Y/N the other day. Ellis has a beautiful little grin.”, Steve boasts.

“At that age usually it’s just reflexive. They see you guys smiling so…”

“Isn’t that all babies though? Like that’s how they learn?”, Eddie genuinely asks as the dads around him laugh. 

“Yeah but who knows some babies are different! You may just have an extremely happy baby who couldn’t wait to show you guys how much he loves being here.”

Time passed and a few of the guests left, leaving the main few that you had really gotten to know. You all sat in the living room while Eddie patted his son’s back as Ellis slept soundly. Steve tenderly petted the baby’s head as you beamed at them from your place in the chair across from them. 

“So how has everything else been going?”, Thomas asks as he chugs back some of the beer in his bottle. 

“Everything has been good, man. Just focusing on them, ya know?”

“Yeah, I understand. When my son was born, that first night I checked on him every hour on the hour. Then for some reason I kept checking on my wife. I knew our son needed us both and I kept thinking ‘What if something happened to either of us?’”

“I can understand that. I, uh, before Y/N and Steve, I lost a lot of people I loved and there was nothing I could do. Now that Ellis is here…it would kill me if anything ever happened to him.”

“Do you have nightmares about it? About losing them?”

“I don’t but Stevie here does.”, Eddie answers causing Steve to toss a glare his way. 

“I do but it’s fine. It’s not a big deal.”

“I had them to. Sometimes I would dream they were on the battlefield I fought in. I would run to them but I could never quite reach them.”, Thomas sighs at the memory. “What do you dream about?”

“It’s fine really.”

You’re not sure if anyone else heard but you and Eddie did as the demon’s voice fluctuated to his real one for a split second.

“Steven…”

“It’s ok, Y/N. Like I said, I get it. If you talk about it, it gives it validity right? You’d hate to manifest something like that into existence. Someone killing Y/N and your son.”

Steve’s eyes closed as his head ticked to the side. 

“Ok, Tom, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m putting my foot down. You’re going to push him too far and he’s already got enough on his mind.”, Eddie defended rising to his feet and handing you the baby. 

“Ah, you’re the enabler I imagine. You allow him to shelter his feelings so he doesn’t have to deal with them.”

“You’re damn right I do. You humans have no idea what we’ve been through!”

“Interesting word choice. Is that how you separate people from your experiences?”

“Come on, guys, let’s head home.” As the long-haired demon grabbed his boyfriend’s arm, he remained frozen in place. Kneeling in front of him, he cupped his face in his hands. “Steven, it’s ok alright. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. Let’s go home and get some sleep, huh?”

When the demon finally opened his eyes, Eddie’s widen in fear; he knew this look all too well. As subtly as he could, he got to his feet and towards the front door with you trailing after him. 

“Steven—”

Once the wind of the outside hit your faces, he expanded his wings, cutting you off as he vanished into the air.

***

“Edward, baby, are you ok?”

Eddie nodded from his place on the floor next Ellis who was sleeping soundly beside him. After laying down as well, he softly smiles your way as he continues caressing the baby’s open hand. 

“DO I enable him, Y/N?”

“Eddie…”

“I just…we went through so much… Every day I had to watch the man I love breakdown. Even when we were out, summoners never treated us with any kind of respect. They knew we wouldn’t be there for long. In our realm, he was hero and with one choice, he was banished and imprisoned…because of me.”

“No, Eddie. Everything you two went through was because of Henry. He killed Chrissy and framed you. Jason didn’t give Steve much of a choice. He was going to disobey orders and hurt you.”

“I always tried to make it up to him… I tried not to show my feelings, pretending I didn’t care we were trapped. Pretending I wasn’t scared and just as angry as he was. I’ve done that my whole life, Y/N. When my mom got sick, I did everything I could to make her laugh so she wouldn’t see how devastated I was. Every time my father came home upset, I acted like I was tough but I was fucking terrified, baby. I was so scared.”

A tear fell from his eye and your immediately wiped it away with your thumb.

“When he fled, I was afraid for my uncle. I didn’t even think twice when I signed up but I was positive I wouldn’t last a month out there on the battlefield. Steven and Robin helped me become a better fighter. With Chris I pretended to be more together than I was. She had enough on her plate at the time and I wanted her to feel safe.”

“It seems like that’s why you pretend, Eddie, so the people you love feel safe.”

Sitting up, he started to cry harder and you immediately crawled to him, curling up in his lap as you held him in your arms. 

The sound you recognized as a portal opening grabbed both your attention as you called Steve’s name.

“Hey, no, sorry. It’s just me. I have him here though.”, Robin answered as she came around the corner with the demon leaning half-conscious around her shoulders. “My girlfriend sent me a message saying he was there at the bar. He had been babbling about how human drinks aren’t strong enough and something about you two and Ellis.”

After leading her to the bedroom, she gently placed Steve onto the mattress. When Eddie entered the room, she smiled when she saw your son’s wide eyes looking back at her.

“He woke up.”, the demon announced as Ellis yawned to emphasis his point. 

“You need to let your parents get some rest, booger.”, Robin coos as she pokes his nose making him smile. 

“Some of our friends said for human babies around this time smiles like that are a reflex.”

“Yeah but he’s not entirely human and that beautiful, drool filled grin didn’t seem reflexive.”, she responded. “It seems like he can handle the demon skin since he’s letting us touch him.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the potion.”, you nod as you reach out to tickle the baby’s chin. “Thank you for bringing Steve back, Robin.”

Softly smiling, she leans down to kiss your forehead.

“Seriously, you and Ellis are so soft—”

“Ay yi, ma’am. This human is ours.”, Eddie playfully scolds as he swats his hand in her direction. 

***

Loud banging and clinking echoes behind the door you’re looking at as smoke occasionally slips through the seams. Taking a long exhale, you reach for the handle but someone tapping your shoulder startles you as you turn and smack the person’s face. 

“Ow! Jesus woman. How many times are you going to pop me?!”, Eddie whines as he rubs his cheek. 

“Edward, how did you—”

“I don’t know. I’ve been looking for the door for months. Maybe you finally calmed me down enough to know what I’m looking for.” Nodding, you kiss his lips. “So what’s the plan?”

“I think…this is Steve’s door. I don’t know. I’ve been trying to access his dreams but I haven’t been able to.”

Holding your hand, he carefully turns the knob and you both step through. Glancing down at his attire, Eddie realizes he’s suddenly in his old battle armor and you both are on the battlefield they fought on all those centuries ago. 

“Why am I not in armor?”

“I mean, you weren’t there, baby.”

“What the fuck are you two doing here?!”, Steve’s father shrieks above you as he lands on his feet. “Leave. NOW. My son needs to learn his lesson.”

“YOU’VE been giving him his nightmares?”, you growl.

“Not exactly. He started having them on his own but I’ve been fueling them.”

Shifting your gaze behind him, you both watch as Steve slaughters enemy after enemy, panting as he slowly tires himself out.

“Steven! Do better! You think these fuckers are going to show mercy on your son?! You have to do what I taught you to get the truth!”

Eddie gripped Bill’s throat and angrily threw him to the ground. 

“You made your hell his hell, you fucking asshole. He told me all about you and everything you did to him. You ruined his life enough! Leave him be.”

“Please. He’s doing this to himself. He’s worried about you two peasants and that thing. I’m making him better. Stronger.”

Grabbing a sword from the ground, you lift the handle and point the other end towards his throat. 

“You heard him. Leave Steven alone or else I swear to God, Bill, I will find a way myself to keep you in hell.”

Growling under his breath, he tried to stand but you and Eddie forced him back down with your weapons. Huffing he suddenly disappeared as well as every other solider that had fallen around the other demon. 

“Ed-Edward?”, Steve panted heavily when you noticed you both there. “Y/N? What are you…? It doesn’t matter. We need to get to Ellis or else Henry’s going to kill him. We have to—”

“Baby, look at me.”, Eddie tried to soothe as he cupped his cheeks in his hands. “You’re dreaming ok? Henry is gone and Ellis is in his crib fast asleep.”

“N-No. No? I can hear him. I can hear him crying! Can’t you hear that?!”

“Steven—”

“NO!”, the demon growls loudly as he shoves the man he loves hard backwards. “Who are you?! You’re not Edward. Y-You’re…You’re trying to trick me. Are you Mirage? Did Henry and his dad hire you to stop me?!”

“Steven…”, Eddie cried with worry as he threw the sword he was holding to the ground and held up his hands. “Sweetheart, please, it’s me. I promise. I would never hurt you like that. I would never keep you from our son.”

As he tried to step forward, the other demon shoved him to the ground.

“I-I-I need to get to my son.”, Steve sobbed as his voice cracked. “I know you’re not Eddie. Tell me where he is.”

When he didn’t answer, he pulled back and pushed his weapon downward. 

The sound of your grunt filled their ears as your eyes met Steve’s wide glassy ones. When you both looked down, blood drenched his sword where it had pushed through your stomach and around your back. 

“Baby?”

Looking up at him again, you smiled through the pain as blood dripped from your lips. 

“Why…why does it hurt?”

The three of you opened your eyes at the same time as you sat up clutching your stomach. Lifting up your shirt, there was no wound but it felt so real. You could still feel the stinging pain lingering on your skin. 

Eddie’s head slowly turned meeting Steve’s still shocked expression as is mouth hung open in shock. 

“I—”

The long-haired demon’s growl cut him off as his eyes glowed bright red. 

“Take us to another realm that we can fucking damage NOW.” You didn’t say anything as Steve rose to his feet with his head hung preparing a portal for them to go through. “Stay here.”

Coming around the bed, he waited for the other demon to finish as you peeked into the world they’d be going to. It was completely baron with nothing but white as far as the eye can see. 

“Fitting.”, Eddie responded in anger as he and the other demon walked inside. 

As the portal began to close, you quickly got up and jumped through right as it disappeared. 

You knew Eddie may be mad but after what happened this wasn’t something you were going to let them handle alone. 

##############

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld @nailbatanddungeon @notlempet

[mountttmase]

A Mountain To Climb: The Sequel

Chapter One

Note - we’re back 🥹 this chapter basically a recap but from Masons perspective so we can get into his mind and what he’s thinking 💙 let me know your thoughts

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7.2K

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut and angst

Masterlist

The first meet

Mason couldn’t sleep. He’d been tossing and turning for hours but no matter what he tried his mind wouldn’t shut off. If he was at home he’d would go downstairs and get a drink or some air for five minutes but unfortunately he didn’t have that luxury in this hotel. If he was caught out of bed at this time of night he’d be in trouble but right now he didn’t care.

He threw on whatever was near him and chucked a hat over his bed head in hopes no one would notice him before grabbing his key and walking to the door. He didn’t intend to be long, five minutes tops just to have a breather but as soon as he opened the door he was stopped in his tracks.

There you were outside his door, dressed up like you’d been out somewhere but his first thought was that you were waiting for him specifically. He’d heard stories about girls sneaking into hotels to try and find players, figuring maybe you’d slipped through the cracks but the longer he looked at you the more he realised you didn’t seem like the type.

‘I don’t suppose you know what way the lift is? I’m a bit lost?’ You asked asked him, his heart fluttering at the sound of your voice and he relaxed instantly knowing you weren’t here for him. He knew he shouldn’t but his eyes flickered over you and he felt himself grow hot at the sight of you.

Fuck, she’s pretty, the voice in his head told him and he gulped lightly before shaking the thoughts from his brain. ‘I’m heading there myself, I’ll show you’ he said quietly. Turning around to lock up his room before making his way down towards the lift.

The thought of getting in a small enclosed space with you made his mouth feel dry and his palms sweat but he knew he needed to keep his cool and as soon as the lift pinged open, he motioned for you to step inside. Why the fuck am I freaking out? He laughed to himself, but each time he looked at you he felt his heart give a small thump.

‘What floor do you need?’

‘Just the ground, I’m trying to get out of here’ you told him making him a little bit confused as to why you wanted to leave but before he could was ask why the lift jumped before shuddering to a halt.

The first hug

A light knock on the door made Masons head snap up and even though he had no idea who might be on the other side, he let whoever it was know it was fine to come in. The sight of your head popping around the door sent Masons heart a flutter and he couldn’t help but smile as you stepped inside the room.

The fact you were even at Bens in the first place was insane to him. In his mind you weren’t coming and the rest of the boys pretty much thought the same.

‘Are you sure she’s even real?’ Ben had laughed, watching Masons eyes continuously flicker to the door in search of you but every time he was left disappointed.

‘Oh course she’s real’ he mumbled angrily, grabbing his cup so he could empty it out. ‘She’ll be here’ he told them quietly but he wasn’t sure he believed it himself at this point.

‘Never seen a man so whipped for a girl that isn’t even his’ Trev joined in, all the boys falling over themselves at how funny they thought they were but Mason was just getting more and more irritated.

‘Will you all fuck off’ he spat, walking over to the sink to grab a quick glass of water as they all erupted into a high pitched chorus of ‘ohhhhhs’ but Kai’s voice from behind him snapped him from his thoughts.

‘Hey Mount, I’ve got a delivery for you’ he called and Mason turned to find you looking like a deer caught in headlights but the way you smiled at him when you first caught eyes made all the panic worthwhile. You looked as good as he’d ever seen you and from the way his heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest he knew he was in trouble.

The fact you’d been dragged away for most of the night drove him insane so when he finally got the chance to be around you his mind had gone blank. Only asking if you were okay or needed anything to which he’d internally cringed at for not being able to make proper conversation with you. But getting to sit next to you did have it’s advantages and even though he felt like his heart was in his throat, he built up the courage to put his arm around you properly when you leaned into him, feeling satisfied when he felt you relax as his thumb stroked over your shoulder absently.

But he’d chickened out at the prospect of being alone with you, dashing upstairs so he could take a breather and talk himself into trying and get you alone for a bit. The universe seemed have it in for him however and suddenly there you were, your back against the closed door as you look at him with bleary eyes.

‘What are you wearing?’ He asked, only noticing now the black hoodie you suddenly had on and an unfamiliar feeling of jealousy settled in his tummy.

‘Oh this? Ben gave it to me. Said I felt cold’ you replied and he knew his face had scrunched up. Mason had told Ben that if you were to show up tonight you were off limits so the fact you were now dressed in his clothes made him want to scream.

‘Why was he feeling you?’ Mason asked, wishing he could stuff the words back into his mouth as soon as they’d come out as he knew how pathetic he sounded but if you were going to be wearing anyones clothes tonight he wanted them to be his, not Bens. He watched you let out a small breath before stumbling over to sit next to him on the bed and he willed himself to relax and be normal.

‘I bumped into him when I came out the loo. What are you doing in here?’ You inquired and Mason put Ben to the back of his mind for now. At least you were here with him now and not off somewhere with Ben.

‘I’m staying here tonight, was just putting my phone on charge and having a break for a few minutes’ Mason told you and you nodded as you looked around the room. Mason knew he needed to speak, to say something to try and make himself seem normal and ended up blurting out the first thing that came to his head ‘Are you having a good night?’

‘Yeah, Sophia seems nice. Are you?’

‘Yeah, but I was hoping to speak to you more than I have’ he told you, trying to be truthful as he bumped his shoulder with yours lightly, feeling a sense of pride rush through him as you let out a little giggle.

‘The nights still young’ you told him, checking the time on your phone but he didn’t like the way your expression suddenly changed. ‘Or not. I didn’t realise it was that late. I’ll have to head off soon’

‘Wait, don’t go’ Mason pleaded, suddenly aware of how much time he’d wasted tonight by not spending more time with you ‘I’ve barely seen you’

‘It’s late, Mason. Plus we sat together downstairs for over an hour and you didn’t hardly say a word to me’ you pouted, his heart sinking at the fact you’d noticed. ‘Why haven’t you? Have I done something wrong? I know I can be difficult but I’m trying’ You told him softly, and he could feel the disappointment flood him at how upset you seemed. The only thing on his mind now was making you feel better and trying to comfort you.

‘No of course not, I’m so sorry. I don’t know I guess I was just a bit nervous’ he told you, trying to be truthful and as your eyes dropped to your lap he lost all sense sanity and was ready to try anything to keep you around for a bit longer ‘Why don’t you stay here? With me? Ben won’t care. I’ll sleep on the floor or something just please don’t go’ he pleaded and he saw your eyes light up ever so slightly which encouraged him to carry on. ‘I promise I’ll get you home tomorrow early-‘

‘Mason-‘

‘Please, I’m not letting you go home alone this time of night. I’ll even go bunk with Ben if I have to or sleep on the sofa but I’m not letting you leave’

‘Fine I’ll stay’ you cut him off with a quiet laugh and he had to stop himself from fist pumping the air.

‘Thank you’ he smiled but your eyes were off looking somewhere else when he looked back at you.

‘What’s that?’ You asked and he followed your line of sight, his heart pounding as he realised what you’d seen. ‘Is that for me?’

‘Well it’s got your name on it’ he laughed as he nodded over to it, realising there was no point in trying to hide anything anymore and the thought of maybe getting to see you smile because of him pushed him to try and get you to go and look. ‘Open it’

You walked over and had a look before turning to face him with a confused expression and he felt all the blood in his body rush to his cheeks. ‘You said the other week when I got you the brownie you would of preferred a cookie’ he explained, walking up to you to try and and gauge your reaction, but he wasn’t ready for what came next.

Your arms were suddenly thrown around his shoulders, face in his neck and it took him a beat to try and work out what was happening but as if on instinct he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, revelling in the way your body seemed to fit so perfectly with his. He’d been dreaming of this moment for weeks, wondering if it ever might happen but here you were. Pressed up against him and the feeling of your breath on his neck was sending him into orbit.

‘That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me’ you whispered and he couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, knowing that this was just the tip of the iceberg if he was going to make you his. But he was still trying to play it cool, hoping he didn’t come across as pathetic as he felt.

‘It’s just some cookies, Y/n’

‘I know’ you uttered and Mason squeezed you a tiny bit harder. It was such a tiny gesture from his perspective but he loved the way you were reacting. ‘Thank you. Why did you bring them here though? I wasn’t even sure I was coming’

‘I know, I just hoped you would I guess’ he spoke into your shoulder before you slowly pulled away from each other. He kept his hands planted on your hips as he tried to catch your eyes but you wouldn’t look at him and he didn’t want to force you knowing that everything that has just happened was probably a lot for you. ‘I think most people are gone, we can get ready for bed if you want’ he told you and you nodded shyly. ‘Just wait here, I’ll go grab you some bits’

The first disappointment

Mason knew something was up, you’d been quieter than normal all morning but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the hangover from all the alcohol from the night before or maybe it was the regret of waking up next to him but he felt useless and unsure of what to say to you again as he stacked the dishwasher.

Waking up next to you had felt like a dream, but trying to fall asleep next to you had been a nightmare. Not because of anything you’d done, you were an angel who’d fallen asleep pretty quickly but Mason was petrified about waking you up or disturbing you in any way so he laid stiff as a board as you slept.

He couldn’t stop looking at you though, the way you breathed so softly and sweetly, the way your brows were ever so slightly creased in the middle and the cute purse of your lips was making his head spin. All he could think about was how lucky he was that he was the one to see you like this and he spent longer than he should of watching you. Wondering what your skin would feel like under his lips, what your hair would feel like as his fingers ran through it. You overwhelmed him and it had felt like a step in the right direction so to have your mood change so drastically the next morning had puzzled him slightly.

He was confused when he found you on the floor in the living room but not entirely surprised. He’d learned to just go with the flow with you so instead of saying anything he walked over to you laid near you, facing the opposite way as not to overwhelm you.

‘What you doing down here?’ He whispered, turning his face towards yours but you kept looking up at the sky through his skylight.

‘Just looking up’ you told him and he nodded gently. He didn’t want to force you to speak or scare you off but he could tell something wasn’t right and he cared too much to let you suffer in silence.

‘Is everything okay?’ He asked, trying to remain as calm as he could and he watched the cogs turn in your brain before speaking.

‘Would you consider us friends?’

‘I think I would, yeah. Do you?’ He answered, knowing deep down he wanted to be way more than your friend.

‘I told you, Mason. I don’t have friends’ you whispered and his face turned to you. He felt the disappointment flood him but he knew there was something else you wanted to say so he kept quiet. ‘But I feel like I want to make an acceptation for you’

‘I’d like that’ he told you and he felt his heart race at the fact you wanted to change your rules for him. but if this was you telling him you wanted to be friends, why were you so upset?

‘Can I ask you something else?’

‘Anything’

‘Are you hoping one day we might be more than friends?’ You asked, finally turning to face him and he didn’t know where to look or what to do. Of course he wanted more with you but he was working towards that and he didn’t want to scare you off. He never expected you to just come out and ask that question so he didn’t have an answer ready but you were quick to jump in and carry on. ‘Cause I need you to know that can’t happen’ you said quietly and he felt his whole body go numb.

‘What’ he breathed, and his heart broke even more as you looked away so he wouldn’t see you cry.

‘I don’t want a relationship. Like ever. I made peace with the fact I’ll be alone a while ago. It’s my decision and I’m not going back on it. I’m fine on my own’

‘Can I ask why?’ He asked gently but he could see you were about to loose it and even though he was disappointed with how this conversation was going, he couldn’t sit back and watch you cry so he quickly spun around and laid next to you the right way. ‘It’s okay’ he whispered before opening up his arms for you to climb in to.

He thought for a second you might dismiss him but you eventually rolled over and curled into his side so he wrapped his arms around you as tight as he could to try and make you feel better. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew he had to say something to try and relax you as you were gripping onto him like he might disappear, wanting to let you know you had nothing to worry about and that he would still be around if that’s what you wanted.

‘You don’t have to tell me yet if you don’t want to. You don’t have to tell me anything at all. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to be on your own all the time’ he told you quietly, his heart hammering his his chest as he felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and dampen his skin. ‘I’m here now and I love spending time with you. And in the interest of being honest, yes I would of eventually liked more with you. Maybe it’s a bit too early to say but I think you’re beautiful and funny and a bit hard to read sometimes but you intrigue me and I’ve loved getting to know you. If this is all you’re comfortable with I can live with that. I’d rather have you around than not you know?’ He rambled, saying more than he wanted to but he was willing to try anything at this point to make you happy but he was unsure as to if this was just making you feel worse until you nodded into his chest.

‘Can I make a suggestion?’ He whispered, rubbing up and down your back gently and you nodded for him to carry on. ‘Could we maybe hop up onto the sofa? My back is killing me’ he joked in an attempt to make you laugh and you nodded again before moving off of him. He pulled you up before he flopped back down on the sofa, holding his arms out to you so you could lay on his chest and even though the pair of you were upset and this wasn’t how he wanted things to go, he loved having you in his arms. It was taking everything in him not to reach down and kiss your head so he quickly pulled a blanket over you, a smile plastered over his face that you couldn’t see as you snuggled more into his neck.

‘I really like you. And I think you know that’ he whispered into your temple, wanting to get everything off his chest whilst he could but also wanting to reassure you that the pair of you could be on the same page. Letting you know he respected your feelings no matter how he felt. ‘So if I’m ever pushing things too far or you need some space from me, just talk to me yeah? I can be a lot sometimes’ he laughed, trying to lighten the mood and he loved the way you held him a little bit tighter.

‘Mason?’ You whispered, pulling back so you could see his face and he couldn’t help but smile at you even if you did still look a little upset. ‘Do you wish I was different?’

‘Never’ he told you instantly, knowing he wouldn’t change a single thing about you . ‘Do I wish the circumstances were different? Yeah probably. But you? No way. And I appreciate you being honest with me. I know it’s difficult’ he told you, not wanting you to panic about any of this, hoping that today could maybe be a turning point for the both of you and that he’d proved even if you couldn’t be in a relationship with him how he would of liked, he could still be there for you in whatever way you needed.

The first kiss

Why you were making him play spin the bottle he had no idea. The the thought of possibly having to see you kiss someone else was making him sweat and he couldn’t figure out why you’d seemed so insistent on playing what was practically a kids game.

Everything had been going surprisingly well lately. Whilst the pair of you hadn’t discussed anything about your relationship further, Mason couldn’t believe how different things were with you now and tonight was a prime example. You were so much more touchy with him which he absolutely loved since he was dying to touch you more and the whole thing just felt more intimate even though you were strictly platonic. But it was all giving him hope that the tides were turning and he could convince you to be with him properly. He was falling for you harder everyday and he knew this probably not good for the pair of you to be in this weird in between phase but he was willing to take what he could get.

Mason didn’t even realise it was his turn until he was nudged, so focused on looking at you and praying for the bottle not to land on you with every other spin but he kept his eyes on you for this one too, watching how you followed it intently as if you were trying to make it land on yourself.

As the bottle slowed down Mason knew it wasn’t going to land on you and the possibility of having to kiss someone else whilst you watched on was not something he’d even considered. He geared himself up to be the party pooper as you’d so eloquently put it a short while ago when Ben stopped the bottle on you, a small laugh escaping your lips as you looked up at him.

Mason stood up on instinct, reaching down to grab you by the hands so nothing looked too suspicious but he was freaking out at the possibility of maybe getting to kiss you.

‘We don’t have to do this’ he whispered, searching your face to try and work out how you were feeling but from what he could tell from the way your eyes kept looking at his lips was that you wanted this just as much and it was taking everything in him to not freak out.

‘I want to’ you told him firmly, resting you hands on his chest as he planted his on your waist to steady himself as he felt his knees go a bit wobbly.

‘You’ve been drinking’ he reasoned but you just smiled up at him.

‘I’ve had two drinks, that’s light work for me’

‘I just don’t want you to regret anything’

‘I won’t’

‘But-‘

‘Mason’ you interrupted, placing a finger over his lips to stop him talking and he almost lost his breath knowing it was finally happening. ‘Just kiss me’

He didn’t think, just lent forward and connected his lips to yours in a way he’d wanted to for months, pulling you closer as he emptied his mind of everything apart from the feeling of you against him and you seemingly melted into his arms.

He was desperately trying to be gentle with you but he’d waiting so long for this moment he couldn’t help but kiss you a little bit deeper and let his hands roam your body a bit. When he eventually dipped his tongue in your mouth and you let out a little moan he almost lost it, pulling you even closer as your hands threaded through his hair but soon enough the pair of you were smiling onto each others mouths and he pulled back to look at you. The look you were giving him made him feel like he was floating on air but he was soon crashing back down to earth by the sound of Bens voice.

‘Alright, get a room’ He moaned and you both laughed loudly before you grabbed Masons hand and lead him out the way you came in.

The first time

‘What if I want you to watch?’ You asked him, appearing in the open doorway. Mason did a double take as he looked up at you, unsure as to wether he’d heard you correctly and he swallowed hard as he furrowed his brows at you. He’d figured the kiss was as far as things would go tonight as he presumed you’d want to go slowly but you were looking at him like you wanted to eat him alive and to say he was confused about everything was an understatement.

‘What?’

‘What if I want you to watch me get changed?’ You questioned, taking slow steps towards him as you placed yourself in between his thighs. Mason kept his hands planted on the bed, not sure if he was allowed to touch you or not even thought his body was screaming for him to take his chance but he knew you. He knew he needed to tread carefully. ‘Is that something you would want?’ Of course i fucking do, he thought but he wasn’t about to tell you that.

‘What’s going on’ he whispered to himself and you let out a little chuckle, clearly amused by his expression but Mason was anything but.

‘I’m sick and tired of pretending I don’t want you when I always have’ you confessed to him sternly, his eyes widening and a shaky breath falling from his lips as he finally heard the words he’d waited for since he’d first seen you. You wanted him and you always had done. Butterflies in his tummy were fluttering as his chest thumped and all he wanted was to pull you into him and have his way with you but the little voice in the back of his head was louder than anything else right now.

‘Is this the alcohol talking’ he laughed, trying to make light of the situation but you seemed hell bent on proving you were serious and he melted slightly at your frustrated expression.

‘I haven’t had any alcohol since the second drink you made me. And I know you only had two drinks cause you can’t handle any more than that’

‘Well that’s me told’ he said quietly, surprised at the way you’d been observing him. He knew you weren’t drunk and he didn’t know why he was trying not to make this not happen. Maybe it was the fact he’d built it up so much in his head, imagined you and this situation a million different ways that now it was happening he didn’t know what to do. You seemed to be out to tease him though, bringing your hands up to your shirt and starting to undo the few visible buttons. He didn’t try and stop you, too focused on looking at all the new parts of you that were on show so you took it a step further, grabbing his hands and resting them around your back.

‘Could you unzip me please?’ You asked quietly, and he nodded of his head before reaching for the zip and pulling it down as far as it would go. It was like he was having an out of body experience, doing exactly what you told him in some sort of possessed state and when you took a step back to shimmy it down your hips Mason felt his temperature rise even further.

When it dropped to the floor you looked up to watch Mason, his eyes trained on the tops of your thighs as your shirt was just covering your underwear and he wasn’t sure where to look. You took you time unbuttoning the last few buttons before you slid the shirt off your shoulders, leaving you just in a pair of black lacey knickers.

Masons first instinct was to shut his eyes, cursing under his breath multiple times until he felt you grab his shoulders, your legs either side of his and the heat from you body made him let out small whimper before he opened his eyes to meet your determined ones.

‘Promise me you’re sure about this’ he whispered as he grabbed your naked waist, your warm skin under his fingers making his head spin but he was trying to keep it together so he could make sure nothing would go wrong. ’That you realise what this means?’ he asked, his dark eyes drilling into yours as he searched for the answers he wanted but he knew it was no use. He was trapped under you spell and willing to do whatever you asked.

‘You said it yourself downstairs, things have changed’ you breathed, ghosting your lips over his causing him to groan before you kissed along his jaw to whisper in his ear. ‘Now I need you to take care of me, Mase. I need you to fuck me like you’ve always wanted to cause I know you have. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve looked at me from the second you saw me’

‘Holy shit’ he whimpered, throwing his head back and exposing his neck that you latched onto immediately. Kissing and sucking his skin as you started to rock your hips over him. He held you as tightly as he could, trying to feel everything and memorise the moment of your body on his before he flipped you onto your back so he could have you in way he’d only ever done in his dreams.

The first argument

Mason felt a shift in the bed, the click of the bathroom door waking him up fully and in the pit of his stomach he knew something was wrong. He just wasn’t sure what yet.

In the end he sat up and waited for you to come back out, hoping he could check up on you, talk to you or make you feel better but it took you an age to finally emerge and once you had Mason had never felt so confused before.

There you were, out of your pyjamas and dressed in the clothes you’d bought to leave in the next morning. He could tell you were visibly upset and knew he had to be careful with you but the uncertainty of what was happening confused him.

‘Y/n? Everything okay?’ He asked softly, standing up to come over to you but you didn’t have any words to offer him. ‘Baby? What’s going on?’ He whispered, trying to softly coax some words out of you before catching onto your swollen and bloodshot eyes, cupping your jaw so you would look at him. ‘Hey, talk to me. Why are you crying?’ He mumbled before everything clicked into place, noticing your fully packed bag in your hand. ‘What’s going on. Where are you going?’ He asked you a bit more firmly as he felt panic start to ripple through him.

‘Mason, I-‘

‘You’re running out on me aren’t you?’ He tried to clarify, knowing you’d deny it but as everything fell into place he could feel his anger levels rising. He’d asked you, double checked with you that it was what you wanted and that you knew what it meant but it was looking more like your words had meant nothing.

‘No’ you breathed but he saw right through you, stepping back and you choked back a sob as he felt his tummy drop.

‘What the fuck, y/n? Are you actually kidding me’ he snapped, his voice rising and he didn’t care. He would wake the whole house up at this point.

‘Mase, please just let me-‘

‘I can’t believe this. So what has it just been fake the whole time?’ He bellowed, knowing that wasn’t the case but his mind was spinning and he couldn’t think of a coherent thought.

‘No’ you cried, stepping towards him but he backed off which only made you sob harder. He couldn’t let it effect him though. He was hurt and all he wanted in this moment was to make you hurt too.

‘I’m not just some guy some guy you’ve slept with that you can bail on. I thought I meant something to you? I thought we were friends at the very least. This isn’t how you treat people you care about!’ He roared and he saw the fear in your eyes which caused him to drop his voice a few octaves. ‘But we’re not friends are we? Friends don’t do what we do and it just be normal. I thought you were mine’ he whimpered, not caring what you thought of him now. Not caring if you thought he was pathetic or stupid. He wanted you to know how he felt. ‘I don’t give a shit if people have been bad to you in the past, that doesn’t give you permission to treat everyone else like crap!’

He saw you visably wince, his words clearly hurting you the way he’d intended and it broke his heart that things had got to this. He carried on though, thinking this may be the last time he’d see you and he wanted nothing left unsaid even if it felt awful.

‘I tried so hard, like really fucking tried with you. I’ve had the shit ripped out of me for months by my mates cause they know how much I like you and just when I think it’s been worth it you fuck me over? What were you expecting y/n? For me to wake up tomorrow and not wonder where you were? To not hear from you again maybe? For it to not hurt like fuck and to just be fine with that!’

Your face was unchanged as he ripped into you, but he turned away as he felt his first tears fell down his cheeks. He knew you’d seen them but he still wanted a little dignity if that was even possible at this point.

‘You know how much you mean to me and I really thought I meant more to you than I quite obviously do’

‘Please let me explain’ you cried but he shook his head immediately, unwilling to hear what you had to say right now. He knew if he let you talk then he’d be right back under your spell and he was too hurt to let you back in right now. Even if the sight of you crying made him want to tear his eyes out, he was staying strong.

‘No, I’m done, alright? I give up so If you’re going then go’ he told you harshly, wanting you away so he could think a bit straighter but you didn’t move so he turned to face you quickly. ‘Get the fuck out!’ He bellowed, watching you run out immediately taking his heart with you in the process.

He could hear Bens voice, running after you and trying to convince you to stay but it was no use. Things had seemingly turned sour in no time at all and he didn’t know what else to do but fall face first on the bed and try and hold the tears in.

Ben was storming into the room soon after but one look at Mason and he knew something really bad must of happened. He approached him carefully and sat on the end he of the bed before tapping him on the shoulder but Mason made no attempt to move.

‘Mate? What happened? Are you okay?’

Mason couldn’t speak, just shaking his head into the pillow and Ben let him gather himself before sitting up so he could talk to him.

‘She basically threw herself at me. Told me she wanted me and I told her that things would change if we did. She told me she knew but once we were done she’s just got dressed and fucked off like I’m nothing. I thought we were on the same page but she basically lied to me so I’d sleep with her’

‘I’m sorry, Mase. That sucks’ Ben breathed but something in the back of his head knew that wasn’t what you were thinking at all. ‘Maybe there’s more to it’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well you said she had trouble letting people in, what if she just had a bit of a freak out?’

Masons expression dropped for a second but he shook his head to disagree. Ben had seen how upset you were but his loyalties lied with Mason right now since he was so heartbroken and he knew no matter he said about you Mason wouldn’t be changing his mind.

‘I gave her plenty of opportunities to back out but she didn’t. I knew it would be too much but she knows how I feel about her and she’s played on it’

‘But Mase-‘

‘No Ben, there’s nothing you can say. I don’t even wanna be here’ he huffed, roiling off the bed so he could get up and dressed. Ben knew he needed to stop him but he didn’t see the point with Mason in this mood so he let him get dressed before walking him to the door where an Uber was waiting for him.

‘Look mate, I know you’re angry but please just think it over a bit when you’re ready. I’m pretty sure she’s just scared. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and the way you are together and unless she’s a pretty good actress I don’t think there’s a way she could fake that’ Ben reasoned but Mason wasn’t in the mood to agree. Simply nodding his head but leaving after a quick goodbye.

The first makeup

Mason felt rough.

Rougher than rough. Probably the worst he’d ever felt in his life but he didn’t care. He’d take this over what he’d been feeling over the last few weeks. Letting the anger get the better of him and snapping at you when he knew he should of listened. Ruining everything because he was hurt in that moment when he should of been more careful with you like he’d always promised himself he would be.

There was still so much he didn’t know about you, things that would probably explain what happened between the pair of you very easily but never wanting to take the sensible route he’d messed it up.

He could still see your face the morning he’d dropped your bag off at your flat, the way it had dropped even further at the sight of him and the way you screamed at him out of hurt and frustration. He couldn’t blame you, he’d shouted at you too but now he knew how it felt he was willing to do anything for your forgiveness.

That feeling was nothing compared to the way you’d run out of the restaurant at the sight of him, eyes meeting briefly but he knew what it must of looked like and when you hid in the taxi as he made his way over crushed him even further. He just wanted to talk but your face made it clear that was the last thing you wanted. When Freya turned to him and pulled him away from you he was so close to having a strop but this was the closest he’d gotten to you in a while and he wasn’t about to ruin in.

‘Please Freya, you have to listen to me. It’s not what it looks like-‘

‘Who’s the girl?’ She cut him off and he sighed. If she’s noticed it after looking for only a second then you must of too.

‘That’s Bens sister, I swear. There’s a whole group of us in there, Ben included. you can go in and check if you want. Please Freya, can’t you just ask her to let me explain, I really need to talk to her’

‘Look Mason, you know I can’t do that right now she’s too upset. I’ll have a word with her when we get back but I’m not upsetting her anymore right now’

He knew she was right, he didn’t want to upset you anymore either but he he could feel his lip wobbling as his emotions took over. He looked up to the sky, urging his tears to stay in his eyes as he took in a shaky breath before looking back to Freya.

‘Is she okay?’ He asked quietly, his voice sounding weaker and more emotional than he thought it would but it made Freya’s face soften and she placed a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. ‘Like I know she’s not but I’ve been worried sick and I don’t know what to do for the best’

‘She misses you. I know she does. She just needs a little bit more time’ she offered him carefully, a small smile playing on her lips which settled him a bit. If Freya was being kind to him then he must of not fucked up completely so he held onto that little bit of hope.

‘Can you tell her that… that whenever she’s ready I’ll be waiting. I haven’t wanted to push her or anything but I’m getting desperate. No matter when or where I’ll be ready for her, yeah?’

‘Oh come here you big lump’ she laughed, pulling Mason into a quick hug. ‘You’re both as bad as each other I swear. I’ll talk to her okay?’

‘Thank you’ he whispered and with one final sad smile she was running back to the car.

He still hadn’t heard from you a few days later and he was starting to loose hope, getting more wasted than he ever had before to try and suppress his feelings but he knew he’d just made a fool out of himself. Continuously asking Ben where you were and if he could go and get you and as he laid in bed that next morning he tried to push all of his feelings back down again.

Masons thoughts were interrupted by a crash downstairs. He was up in a flash, running down in just his boxers but the the scene he was expecting wasn’t what he was met with. His house just as tidy as normal, not filled with the rubbish he was expecting to be strewn everywhere but he didn’t have time to think, running to the kitchen to find you on the floor with your wrist cradled in your hand.

‘Y/n? What are you doing here? Are you alright, what happened?’ He asked frantically, not even letting it sink in that you were in front of him as he just wanted to check you were okay but he could feel his heart going a mile a minute.

‘I was trying to clean up’ you told him as he crouched down next to you. ‘I couldn’t reach the bags and I fell off the chair’

‘Are you hurt?’

‘My wrist is a bit’ you whispered and without thinking he placed your good arm around his shoulder and scooped you up before carrying you to his sofa. ‘I said my wrist, Mason. That doesn’t stop me from walking’ you squealed but he couldn’t hear you. Too focused on getting you comfortable so he carefully placed you on the seat before running back off to the kitchen.

It was like he was on autopilot, rummaging around in his freezer for peas before rushing back to you so he could place them on your wrist, popping a cushion on you lap before laying the peas wrapped in a tea towel on top.

‘Just keep this here a sec yeah? I won’t be long’ he told you before going upstairs. His mind was racing but he tried to keep it blank, pulling on the first few things he could find and raiding his first aid kit before ruining back down to you. Your head was resting back on the sofa and you didn’t even move until he sat down next to you, both avoiding each others eyes. ‘Can I see?’ he whispered and you nodded as he gently removed the bag away from your hand.

Mason could see straight away your wrist was a little swollen but you could wriggle your fingers without any pain which he was happy about so he got set to wrapping you up, thinking back to all the times he’s had the same done for him at training. He knew it was hurting you, apologising every time you hissed or yelped in pain. Wanting to take it all your pain away in every sense.

‘Are you sure nothing else hurts?’ He asked, securing the bandage at the end but you just nodded at him. Once he was happy with his handy work he placed your hand back onto the cushion and looked up into your eyes. He could see how upset your were straight away, but you did the thing he expected lest and moved towards him. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug that he needed more than anything.

He was shocked at first, but it didn’t take long for him to pull you closer and slot his head into your neck. He was too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment so he just held you, his eyes stinging as he finally got to touch you again after wondering if he ever would again and he almost started sobbing when you reached up to scratch over his scalp. His skin was tingling all over from such a simple act and he buried himself into you more so he could attempt to hold it together. The only noise in the room was the sound of each others breathing until you pulled back and look at him, both of you now trying to keep your emotions at bay as you took a big gulp before speaking, your voice quite and wobbly.

‘I think we should talk’ you whispered and he nodded sadly but in his heart he knew this wasn’t you ending anything as you smiled at him softly. ‘There’s some stuff I need to tell you that I want you to know. You know I said It’ll explain a lot’ you told him with a little laugh and he couldn’t help but give you a sad smile.

‘Only if you’re sure’ he whispered, not wanting to push you but he was also itching to get further inside your head.

‘I’m sure’ you told him and without thinking he shuffled down on the seat, placing a cushion down flat so it looked like a pillow as he was unsure I’d he had the strength to have this conversation sat up.

‘Will you lay down with me? My heads thumping’ He asked you nervously, wanting to get comfortable and praying you’d accept and when you gave him a small smile before nodding he had to hold his smile back. The pair of you laid down with your heads on the cushion, your hands automatically resting on his chest and as much as he tried to hide a smile, he couldn’t help but let his face show how happy he was that you’d initiated some physical contact so he tentatively placed his arm around you waist. Even though you had a sweatshirt he couldn’t help but lightly trace shapes on your back but you didn’t push him off.

‘I only ever speak to Freya about this stuff, I’ve never really got it all out in one go’ you muttered, but he didn’t care. He was just happy to be in this moment with you so you could both get some clarity and hopefully move forward. In what capacity he was unsure but he knew now he didn’t want to be without you.

‘It’s okay. Just take your time and if you don’t wanna tell me then you don’t have to’ he whispered, trying to be as supportive as he could but little did he know the secrets that you were about to spill. Mason may of thought he’d made progress, climbing up the mountain with you steadily but in this present second he knew you were both back at rock bottom.

That’s the only good thing about rock bottom though.

The only way is up.

[yxlnst]

Art of attraction

idol!minghao x reader!y/n

🎀 Summary 🎀 : You and Minghao explore an art museum for your first date. As you enjoy the art and talk, your connection grows. By the end, you both realize it's the beginning of something special.

🧸 Word count 🧸 : 1,050

Fluff

🧸 - - - - - - - - - - - - 🎀 - - - - - - - - - - - - 🧸

You were standing outside the city's renowned art museum, nervously tapping your foot. It wasn't just any date—it was with Minghao, the guy who'd caught your eye for months. He was charming, intelligent, and had a unique sense of style that set him apart from everyone else. When he suggested visiting the museum, you were excited, but now that you were actually here, the nerves had set in.

"Hey!" Minghao's voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you turned to see him walking toward you, a bright smile on his face. He wore a casual blazer over a simple shirt, looking effortlessly cool. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was crazy."

"No problem," you replied, trying to sound casual. "I just got here myself."

Minghao led the way into the museum, and you followed, trying to keep your excitement in check. The museum was filled with people, but it was surprisingly quiet. The echoing halls and marble floors gave the place an air of sophistication, and the soft lighting added to the ambiance.

"So, where should we start?" you asked, looking around at the different exhibits.

"Let's check out the contemporary art section," Minghao suggested. "I heard they have a new installation that's pretty cool."

As you walked through the museum, you couldn't help but notice how comfortable Minghao seemed. He pointed out different pieces of art, sharing his thoughts and asking for your opinion. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself getting lost in the exhibits.

"This one is interesting," Minghao said, stopping in front of a large abstract painting. It was a swirl of colors and shapes, almost hypnotic in its complexity. "What do you think it means?"

You tilted your head, studying the painting. "It looks like chaos at first, but if you look closely, there's a pattern. Like life sometimes it feels chaotic, but there's order if you know where to look."

Minghao smiled. "I like that interpretation," he said. "It's a bit like us, isn't it? We might seem different, but there's a connection."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You'd always admired Minghao's way of seeing the world, and now that you were getting to know him better, you realized how much you had in common.

As you moved through the museum, you found yourself enjoying the conversation and the art. Minghao had a way of making even the most abstract pieces feel accessible, and he was genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts. It wasn't just a date—it was an experience, one that you didn't want to end.

After exploring the contemporary art section, you headed to the museum's café for a break. Minghao ordered a couple of drinks, and you found a quiet corner to sit and talk.

"Thanks for coming with me today," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "I wasn't sure if you'd be interested in a museum date, but I'm glad you came."

"I'm having a great time," you replied, smiling at him. "It's nice to do something different for a change."

Minghao leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face. "You know, I've always liked art because it's a way to express yourself without words. It's like, you can show people how you feel through colors and shapes, and everyone sees it differently."

"That's what makes it special," you agreed. "Everyone brings their own perspective."

As you talked, you realized how easy it was to be with Minghao. He was thoughtful, kind, and had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the room. You shared stories, laughed at each other's jokes, and discovered new things about each other.

After finishing your drinks, Minghao suggested visiting the museum's sculpture garden. It was a beautiful space, filled with statues and lush greenery. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the garden, and you could hear the distant sound of birds chirping.

"Wow, this place is amazing," you said, admiring the sculptures. Each one seemed to tell a story, frozen in time.

Minghao walked beside you, his hands in his pockets. "It's one of my favorite places in the city," he said. "It's so peaceful, and the art is incredible."

As you wandered through the garden, you found a secluded bench and sat down. The atmosphere was serene, and the fading light gave everything a golden hue. Minghao sat beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours.

"I'm glad we did this," you said, feeling a sense of contentment. "It's been a while since I've had this much fun."

"Me too," Minghao replied, turning to look at you. "I was nervous, honestly. I wasn't sure if you'd enjoy it."

You laughed softly. "I was nervous too. But it's been great."

Minghao's eyes met yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world faded away. The sound of the city, the distant voices—it all disappeared. There was just the two of you, sitting on a bench in a sculpture garden, enjoying the moment.

"Can I ask you something?" Minghao said, his voice gentle.

"Of course," you replied, curious.

"Would you like to go out again sometime? Maybe for dinner or something?" he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

You smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest. "I'd like that," you said. "I'd like that a lot."

Minghao's smile widened, and he nodded. "Great. It's a date, then."

As you sat together, watching the sun set over the garden, you knew this was just the beginning. It was the start of something special, something that had been building for a while. And as the stars began to appear in the sky, you felt a sense of excitement for what was to come.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

parings -> park jay x reader genre -> non-idol au, school au, hybrid au warnings -> mental health, abandonment issues, etc. word count -> 2.2k

abstract -> everything is temporary so don't get used to it.

jay’s perspective

I… was starting to feel kinda bad. I didn’t mean to be so harsh with her but with everything, I had a right to be angry… but she didn’t ask for it. Especially since she started to cry silently on that desk while I sat on the floor trying to gather my thoughts. 

“You're… a scholarship student?” I asked and she tensed up but didn’t turn… instead she subtly tried to wipe her tears. “Y-yeah… Haechan’s friend and I met during my first year. She saw me struggle a lot with loans and offered to put a good word about me and advocated to get me a scholarship” she said. 

“Isn’t that… a bit unfair?” I asked, and she laughed softly. “Yeah… it is. I probably don’t deserve it, but that's why I have to try my best to keep it,” she said, finally turning towards me with that stupid forced smile. 

Her life differed greatly from any of my previous ‘owners’. 

“I’m sorry if I'm just a burden for the time we’re together,” I said and she shook her head. “You're not!” she yelled and it shocked me. “If anything… I am and I hope Haechan can find you a good owner who can afford the lifestyle you’re used to” she said and I didn’t say anything after that.

“Is there anything you want me to do for the time being when we are stuck together?” I joked and she smiled. “No… but thank you for the offer. If there's anything you want I'll try my best to accomplish it,” she said and I chuckled. “I guess… sorry for calling you an incompetent babysitter,” I said and she shook her head. 

“I guess in a way you were right?” 

She was beyond sweet. 

But also so pathetic at the same time. I have never met someone who so carelessly forgets to eat, to sleep at a competent time, to… simply live a normal life. 

She was sleeping on her desk when I moved her to her bed and tucked her in. She forgot to eat dinner. Now that I think about it… did she even have a meal card? She really was a hopeless kid. 

I heard a knock and if only others tried to take care of her this wouldn't happen. 

I opened it to see Haechan… “Ah! Where–" "SHHH, she’s asleep,” I said in a hushed yelling voice. He sighed and I tried to keep the door as closed as possible without locking myself out. “I wanted to take you out, I know she can't afford a lot of hybrid things so come on,” he said and I looked back at her worried…

“She won’t wake up anytime soon… she doesn’t even have classes today, don't worry,” he said and I nod following him. We went outside where I saw two guys his age.

“Oh? Is this hybrid stuck with our lovely girl?” Chenle asked… he was a Chinese international student. Also popular for being friends with the principal's daughter…

“Come on, we have to get some things… a collar, clothes, and apparently some groceries for the girl before she was hospitalized for not taking better care of herself,” Chenle said while reading a text message. 

“She’s going all out for y/n” Mark had said. 

“Well summer is coming up and she’s getting kicked out of her tiny dorm,” Haechan said. “How does someone live there? Anyway, she said the place is furnished, and because she has a hybrid now she qualifies for a better scholarship plan” Chenle said reading from his phone again. 

“A friend of Chenle helps y/n since well… she’ll get kicked out of the school otherwise,” Haechan said explaining. Kicked out?

“Why?” I ask and Mark shrugs. “All I know is the y/n doesn’t qualify for any awards since the spring semester last year so she had to get loans for that semester before getting sponsored by a friend” Mark explained. “It's a lot more complicated than that… okay come on it's a busy and long day” 

y/n’s perspective

I fell asleep again… but I swore I didn’t even make it to my bed before I fell asleep… I got out of bed hoping I didn’t step on Jay like he asked when I saw he wasn’t even there?

“Jay?” I asked… Did he run away?! I was responsible for him and he left… No no no no! I had to call Haechan and now. But he wouldn’t answer.

Why?! 

I had to run out and ask any passing student if they saw a loose hybrid but he didn't even have a collar… I was screwed… so royally screwed. “You look more pathetic than usual” I heard as I saw e/n. Not her again… “What should I expect from my ex bestie huh?” she asked as she sat next to me…

“I don’t need this right now," I muttered and she laughed. “Well, why are you running like a lunatic?” she asked and she was his ex owner. Maybe she had him…?

“Jay is he–” “You’re the one who has him now?! Pathetic!” she said while laughing… “Oh did he run away!” she said now laughing some more. She was as mean as ever, wasn’t she?

“Pathetic, really, I can't believe we were ever friends?!” she said and I sighed… “You and e/n/ii, can’t believe I ever associated myself with losers like the two of you!” she said and I sighed. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to get a life?” I heard as I saw Chenle… and Haechan, Mark, but I never felt so much relief before seeing Jay with them. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you poor thing you're well… with someone who went from rags to riches,” she said as she left. “You okay?” Haechan asked and I nodded.

“I was worried when I woke up and didn’t see Jay in the room…” I said, “Haechan left a note no?” Chenle asked and I shook my head. “Oops…” Haechan said as the two boys shook their heads at him. “Well, you know how you were gonna live in the apartment for two months just for summer? Well she’s coming back and needs the place to be clear so we got another solution for you” Chenle said and felt dread.

“Your financial aid covers apartments–” “No it doesn't! The apartments the school offers are way more expensive–” Chenle put his hands on my shoulders calming me down. 

“Let me explain… Having a hybrid does help scholarship-wise, so they offer more aid to those who have a hybrid with them and can’t afford financially as long as you keep your grades up” Chenle explained and I nodded. “But… I told Haechan it was temporary. I can’t afford a hybrid–” “I know, which is why it’ll only be a year. It's a temporary solution” Chenle said and I nodded. 

“Ok… I guess that's fine as long as there's enough space for two people” I said and he nodded. “Good! The place is already furnished and you already have some things so you’d just have to move them and you’re good! You don’t need to worry about Jay, we covered everything including the collar on his neck” he said and I hugged him. 

“Ok! No touching,” he said and I chuckled forgetting he hates affection. Or at least from those he isn’t the closest to… “Just settle in today and remember to take care of yourself. She’s coming back for the next school year and if she sees you’re here not taking yourself then what? She scolds you worse than I am” he said andI chuckled. 

“I’ll try the best I can”

I was exhausted after moving everything and now that everyone was gone I could relax on the comfy couch. “Are you hungry?” Jay asked and I was hungry… i haven't eaten since yesterday morning. 

“Hmm? Do you wanna order food?” I asked knowing I still had some money for food. “I can cook… I did all the grocery food stuff… I didn’t know what you liked but I got a variety” he said and I was shocked…

“Oh… well if you're okay with it?” I said and he nodded as he opened the fridge and started to prep. I watched and he looked so professional at it. I didn’t know I stared too long until our eyes met. “Uhm… wanna help?” he asked nervously and I smiled. “Sure! Though Im pathetic at the kitchen” I said and he chuckled. “I think you’ll do just fine,” he said as he told me to do simple things as he made food…

I could honestly get used to this… and Jay looked happy cooking. Maybe… this wasn’t a bad idea after all?

jay’s perspective

I’ve never had an owner cook with me before let alone let me experiment on recipes. Her telling me she doesnt expect high end dishes made sense but also gave me some relief. 

Something about her didn’t make sense though… she had the manners of every owner i’ve had while sitting at the table with me. 

Was it just a coincidence? Maybe one of her friends taught her? That would make sense–

“Jay! You’re such a good cook!” she said grinning now finished…

“Thanks… but all I do is follow recipes,” I said and she smiled. “Trust me I couldn’t follow a recipe for the life of me… but if you want I can borrow some recipe books for you to experiment?” she asked and I felt myself smiling and even the few feathers I still had twitching. “I would appreciate that,” I said and she smiled. “Here I’ll clean the dishes,” she said and I nodded. 

“I’ll help clear the table,” I said as we did our jobs in a peaceful silence… “Hey, Jay… you know you don’t need to sleep on the couch I really don’t mind sharing the bed with you,” she said and I sighed. Just cause we now had a small apartment didn’t mean they gave us two rooms… just one bed and a couch, At least this time it was a double bed. 

“Sure…” I said and she smiled relieved… she was too kind for her own good. 

Too bad it’s only a temporary thing… its always temporary but even though I experienced the lavish life this might be my favorite. 

I shouldn’t be getting used to this stupid mundane lifestyle with her. I shouldn’t even be accepting her comfort or kindness when in the end ima… end up somewhere else. 

The next day I tried my best to not succumb to her kind smiles or sweet eyes. Instead, i tried to dismiss her, but I don’t think that’ll make her take the hint. 

I was again at my least favorite place in the world… the etiquette classes. I already knew everything i was just here because… everyone said there was something wrong with me and thats why I could never keep an owner. 

“I was told to be friendly with you” I suddenly heard as I saw Jake… I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Anyway, why would you think I'd return the favor?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Cause you're outcasted and have no friends,” he said and I stayed silent. “Not like im aby better” he said and I guess that was true… once a stray always a stray.... at least in their eyes. 

“What's your new owner like?” he asked and I scoffed. “It's temporary so don't worry about it” I mutter and he sighs. “Are you even trying to convince her?” he asked and I scoffed… she doesn't have the time for a hybrid and she’s constantly studying nor does she really have funds to take care of me… at least not really?

“Jay’s having trouble keeping another owner? Yeah just give up at this point!” Sunghoon said and I scoffed. “I could say the same thing about you, with her remembering you–” Suddenly he grabbed my collar pressing his claws at my neck. “Don’t you dare mention a thing about her” he muttered and I knew deep down he was having probably an even worse time than me. 

“You should be busy with yourself over my problems,” I said and he chuckled. “You don’t know a thing” he muttered. “Sunghoon stop before the both of you get in trouble” Sunoo now said and he scoffed. “Get out of my business, will you? What did I say? Leave me alone!” he yelled at the fox… how strange that Sunghoon switched up on Sunoo so quick… in the span of one week everything changed one day. 

“Ok class–” Suddenly he let me go and everything was calm again until the end of the day. 

She wasn’t late this time… instead, she was waiting for me. I need her to stop looking at me with those bright eyes… how could someone so tired and burnt out look at someone like me with those kind and energetic eyes? 

“How was class?” she asked but It was the best we didn’t get used it. 

“Why do you care?” 

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[ambers-archive]

Gold Rush

In which Spencer Reid believes meeting you could only be explained by something bigger under the works. pairing: spencer reid x fem!eader

From the moment he met you Spencer just knew. He was suddenly overcome with a deep certainty that transcended his skepticism about love at first sight. For him, it was more than just a fleeting moment; it was an incandescent passionate resonance that developed when he first saw you. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin can only explain so much of his feelings. 

He can't sleep on plane ride, looking at the sunset as the clouds fold onto each other he finds himself reminiscing about you. 

There was much said, yet so much unsaid. 

"Do you believe in fate?" you had asked, looking up at him. 

Just breathing and staring into each other's eyes, you two were curled up together in bed. Spencer likes making eye contact with you, even though he's never been good at it. Furthermore, he doesn't even enjoy shaking hands, so he's not sure how on earth he's managed to intertwine himself with you.

Spencer chuckled skeptically, "Fate? I'm inclined to attribute this meeting to statistical probability and our friends' matchmaking skills." 

You smiled back at him, his skepticism didn't seem to bother you, instead you seemed to intertwine your emotions so easily with your beliefs. 

He studies you and realizes you don't mind your different perspectives. "People just need something to anchor them Doctor Reid."

He's come to the realization that he needed more of what you called him, Doctor Reid.

You continue, "Since there is so much evil in the world, I find myself wanting to cling to something greater. I'm sure you see a lot of incomprehensible things."  

He pauses for a second then says

"Randomness exists because it is impossible to foresee anything with 100% accuracy, at least not in the way we see the world. Yes, although there is randomness at the level of human cognition. I don't think there is any kind of "mover" or "fate." Have you heard of the theory absurdism? It's the idea held by philosophers that there is no purpose or reason in the universe. It claims that people go into conflict with the outside world when they search for significance."

You smile at him again, the same shy smile that has been making Spencer weak all day. 

“I get what you mean, but I like to believe that the universe has a purpose for me. It's as though every moment unfolds with meaning. But, recently, I've found that it’s boring to attribute everything to fate. There's a certain beauty in meeting someone and deliberately choosing them with all your intention."

This time Spencer smiles back at you, it doesn't miss him that you don't interrupt his ramblings. You're so easy to talk to he thinks. He can just get lost in your conversations. 

He pushes a piece of hair out of your face “Would you say our meeting was fate?"

You paused for a second. 

Spencer can't seem to read you as much, but he can infer that you didn't know, he smiles to himself as you're the one speechless this time.  

Spencer likes to think the universe is devoid of meaning he doesn't give much thought to the meaning behind things, but after meeting you he finds himself questioning things. 

Despite the strangeness you feel familiar to him, and your perfume still lingers in his car on the way home. He's racking his brain trying to remember what your laugh sounds like.

He likes to be in the present, but with you, you linger like a tattoo kiss. He closes his eyes and there you are again with your smile. 

The lines between fate and reason began to melt in his head, as there are very few moments he's found himself dumbfounded by the nature of things.

[reishifts]

SHIFTING ATTEMPT! — diary.

monday, 28th october 2024: so i thought it‘d be a good idea to document my shifting attempts to know what‘s right and what‘s wrong for me. keep in mind i have minishifted twice to parallel realities long ago for very very short amount of times but after i kinda lost hope and allat but now i‘m back and damn! and i wanted to ask if someone know what all this meant?

okay so during the day i was watching the harry potter movies (as i‘m shifting there) and i‘ve been fixing my script and watching success and motivational videos or posts on yt, tt, tumblr, amino etc. everywhere where you can find them. i was very happy bc i have fall break and i finished all of my chores and took care of myself so i had nothing to worry about, making me more excited to shift. (don’t worry, you don’t need to do anything during the day or sth to shift)

then i put in my airpod (i only have one…) and i put on a guided meditation. sadly idk what happened i suddenly fell asleep and woke up with my airpod gone in the middle of the night and i looked at my phone and the meditation stopped at exactly 14:14. plus i had two extremely vivid dreams of my dr. now i feel the need to share these dreams.

then, i woke up in the middle of the night and after i saw that i just put on a subliminal and i went to bad, tho my brother was going to work and he was really loud so he made my dreams go weird idk you’ll see. what’s crazy for me is that in this extremely vivid dream, i had everything i‘m manifesting/desiring in my cr.

to sum up, i think these dreams were confirmation for both my shifting and manifestation journey.

THE DR DREAMS.

the first one was kinda weird like, as i‘m not shifting for a specific s/o i just have two options in mind (tom riddle and theo nott) and i‘m not shifting just for them, i was confused that i dreamed this. we were like on the courtyard but the vibe was very.. sad? not even sad it felt depressing, plus it was also really dark outside. i was with tom and it felt like we’ve been friends for sososo long but we’ve always had feelings for each other. we liked each other so much, it hurt. he then kissed me but i was disappointed, i was sad? bc it took him so long to kiss me and he kissed me so weirdly and idk my emotions just bottled up and i started crying LMAO i felt the tear on my cheek litr. but then he kissed me again and we talked it out and then idk. maybe that was a sign that i‘ll date him in my dr.

second dream of my dr was very short but i was kinda running through the halls but also like where you were able to see the couryard. i didn’t see myself from my own perspective so i don’t know what that was.

THE CR DREAM.

i don’t really remember what happened first or the chronological order, so it was very messy.

in my cr i am currently manifesting a SP (= specific person) and i dreamed he suddenly was near me all the time, like basically we were always at the same place at the same time. exactly what i‘m manifesting here. i did so much embarrassing stuff, and he didn’t show less interest either. (also what i’ve been worrying about in my cr) then suddenly my mother saw his mother and they talked to each other and i sat down next to my mum but i wasn’t able to see him because he was like around the corner. (note: my mum knows about him irl and she wants me to be with him so bad -> i manifested an interaction btw our families before and found out our dads work together) then again in the same dream i was in my class room because this whole dream happened in my school for some reason and this boy in my class kept making fun of me bc i wore a ponytail and idk what he was saying lmao and then my SP came in (he’s not in my class but i’ve visualized him coming into my classroom multiple times bc he’s friends with one of my male friends) and they talked and someone made a dirty joke about me and he just laughed. then the boy made fun of me again and he just said: ”and? she looks beautiful“ and that’s exactly what i manifested him to do too !!!!! but then the dream turned out weird bc of my brother and it turned into a horror movie but the way my brain was able to do all this shocks me, idk why.