#I feel bad that I cannot be inspired by this inspiring... inspiration
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kosmicthen · 2 days ago
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i gotta tell you the thought process of the creation AND the Funny Haha Struggle story (not that funny but it is funny to me now) during the time i was working on this (2nd week of december 2024)
the inspiration/thought process notes:
obviously demonyawa’s jake and maria official illustrations for the spotify single versions of memories and titua
i was binging blue period at the time
listening to bawat piyesa by munimuni on loop — an opm song about grief and not knowing what to do without the person who is gone
and i thought of this famous art trope where character paints their loved one? i’m not sure where it originated but it could also be character carves a statue of loved one too— a bunch of the cool cn/jpn/kr artists keep cooking that prompt up but atm i CANNOT think of the specific i can share
so painting side is different soft coloring style than the foreground (mark/nicole) who are lined and more refined yay yippee cool im insane like that
now to tell you what happened to me during the creation of these:
when i finished sketches for both parts and jake’s coloring, i got really dizzy and nauseous!!! not a good sign!! i was talking to a friend in the ph but i said im hopping off call bc of dizziness
i thought that i was staring at the screen too long cause i was working with really saturated colors so i stepped away till i was yk better. i struggle with motion sickness too btw so i assumed this was my brain making me motion sick
guys. i. didnt feel better. APPARENTLY I WAS STRUCK BY THE ILLNESS. like i was physically sick the next 48 hrs. i find out ive got some stomach virus bc the ppl i lived with had it too. IT WAS SO BAD. i couldn’t eat bc it would immediately get out of my system (trying not to describe it grossly), but i couldn’t sleep bc i was so hungry…!! it was so bad its sooo laughable!! i only had like 2 hrs of sleep bc of my hunger meter was KILLING ME
and the funniest thing to me. listen.. i… i had another until then idea on the works before i worked on this “bawat piyesa” mark and nic pieces— and you know what that was? MARK BORJA SICK FIC/COMIC 😭😭😭 i make this LOSER SICK WITH THE HORROR OF A FEVER AND HE TRANSFERRED IT TO MEEEEEEEE WITH HIS MIND?!?!?
AND I HAD COLLEGE FINALS THE NEXT DAY?!?!?? IT WAS SOOO OVER!?!?!
there was nothing i could do abt it except take meds, sleep a bit, and eat nothing but soup and white bread and apples,, but i also had to be on this waiting period for the final online exam for my class to unlock 😭😭 so in the middle of all of that, i just started working on the bawat piyesa pieces when i didnt feel dizzy.
so yeah I HAVE NOOOO IDEA how i powered through all that. but i hope that you guys know now that these pieces were made through resilience. i am just so happy these artworks were so well received, and i still made it the vision that i wanted
i cooked at A Cost, but at least, I Made Peak
but also don’t neglect your health!! i could have never made it through if i just ignored the sickness. i never want to be that hungry ever again 😭😭
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anong gagawin kung wala ka? dito ka na lang habambuhay.
version that only has maria and jake
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qoldenskies · 1 month ago
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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sysig · 3 months ago
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Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ♥ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows ♪#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
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liauditore · 7 months ago
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new suicide squad anime got me thinking about the genderbend batman au i made when i was 16 again.
extra (nsfw??? body horror + shirtless doodle lol) art under the cut + drabble.
A mysterious actress appears in Gotham!
Production for the long-anticipated remake of the 1930s classic horror film, "The Clay", is saved in part thanks to the audition of one woman with no credits to her name, just a face and demeanor identical of the late leading actress of the original film.
However, the cast and crew have bigger worries than their limited budget and endless demands from their producers -- everyone involved seems to be disappearing one by one!
While the average gothammite worries that the cult classic's "cursed" reputation might be a little more than an urban legend, The Batman refuses to entertain such unfounded silliness and aims to get to the bottom of this crime against cinema!
presenting BATMAN '63 - THE RISE OF CLAYFACE coming not actually ever lmao
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(her hair is brown now because I like the idea of her appearance never being fully consistent lol. shapeshifters gotta do their thing)
#batman au#gotham rogues#genderbend#clayface#dc comics au#i have no idea how to tag this. hi guys.#anyway i rlly do like how silly they made clayface in the isekai anime. i definitely took some inspiration from that iteration but#this version of fem clayface has been. in the back of my mind for literally years. i like the film actor angle for him too much#might do more of these might not. depends on how indulgent i feel ig.#anyway some misc headcanons for this clayface:#she was a struggling actor who was incredibly insecure about her appearance.#before she became clayface she would undergo plastic surgery for every new role she landed. her over the top passion for getting into (cont#(cont) character frightened directors. she gained a moniker for herself as “the woman with 1000 faces”#in this story specifically she's working under the penguin to get rid of some loose ends in a sensationalized way because the targets (cont#(cont) are famous. and she's more than happy to comply because a good chunk of the cast on set have been bad to her in the past.#her shapeshifting abilities have some limitations. she can morph into anything she has had skin to skin contact with however (cont)#(cont) she cannot change her total mass. which is why she has so much hair lol#she also can't copy powers cus that's whack. also only living things she can't turn into a car.#i probably forgot something important but yeah. goddamn you au i made as a teenager#goddamn you stupid ass suicide squad anime for making me think about this au again#cw horror#body horror#oh yeah she's also probably got a weird gender but she doesn't know that#she also can't maintain her not-clay-monster form for long or she starts to literally melt away.#my art
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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One of the reasons I'm starting to learn how to accept making "bad art" is to have unironically appreciated bad art for myself. Instead of worrying if I make art that is soul-crushing, earth-shattering, and something that Changes the World, what if I just... made art?
It's so freeing see that what is called "bad art" is often just a thinly-veiled criticism of an artist who doesn't conform to what they or their art "should" be. They have embodied their "bad art" so fully that you cannot begin to comprehend just how much it means for them to have crafted it. What good is it to make amazing art with no soul? What good is it to perform the illusion of art rather than create it? It's nothing short of rebellion to make something for you, to not worry at all what people consider "bad."
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slendershift · 7 days ago
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would it be annoying to like. start using this as somewhat of a shifting log? i fr need something to motivate me to put more effort in and whenever i start a log i always forget about it after a week 😭
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miodiodavinci · 7 months ago
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
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more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 5 months ago
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having an oc story set this year is really fucked up bc i look at the calendar and i'm like "oh shit we got [character]'s death in a few days waow..."
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 5 months ago
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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mementoasts · 2 years ago
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jonathan sims head archivist of the magnus institute london
#IM JUST POSTING HIM RANDOMLY BECAUSE I CANNOOOOOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME DRAW ANYONE ELSE. I HAVE APHANTASIA MAN IT'S HARD OUT HERE#i just started season 3 and heard him mention the graying hair i was like hm.. what if i tried drawring some characters.#i'm actually super happy with how he looks... i had some prior inspiration bc i followed one artist who's posted fanart b4--#(which is how i first heard of the series) and so i already kinda had a picture of him in my head bc of that (i love their art sdfghgfdjh)#so i was jus sketchin and i was like.... yeah this looks ok. i wanted his hair to be kinda just pokin up every which way in front--#--because i imagine him constantly running a hand through it. otherwise it'd look nice n tidy. i just sketched til it looked good enough#the eyes were easy because i wanted sharp and tired. the color was just me testin shit out and being like oooo that looks pretty#the outfit..... i just googled some like business casual stuff LOL. i thought it looked nice#bag and flashlight because he's dungeon crawling#he's also filipino for no reason other than i said so#OHHH YEAH freckles. freckles are cute. also worm scars.#i gotta say i didn't wanna put glasses on him but i thought he looked nakey without em.. but also it might be bc i was strugglin w lineart#the glasses make him look younger i think. which is bad!! he needs to look at least 35!!!#i dunno if i have it in me to draw the others;;;;;;;;;; martin i can't figure out a color scheme for-- and tim & sasha.... waauugghhh....#it's hhhhaaardd because when i'm like reading anything i cannot *picture* characters.... i just get like..... a feeling yknow.....#again i already had some vague images for jon (and martin) bc i saw fanart before lol so that's what showed up in my head#i have a good *feeling* of what sasha should look like but i cannot for the life of me draw it....#i keep sketching and going “noo this doesn't look like her” <- i DON'T know what she looks like#i've somehow instead ended up with a sketch that really feels like melanie tho lmao#if you're somehow at the bottom of this long ramble i will send you $500.#the void given form
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rpfisfine · 1 year ago
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@vzajemnik
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angelhound · 2 years ago
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#have been writing lately instead of painting and idk…. how i feel about that#never have i considered myself a writer#i mean i write bad romantic poetry sure. but im writing fiction. novels if u will. and i Like it. :/#its uncomfortable. idk. maybe if i make companion paintings itll feel less obscure. perhaps a web comic will come out of it#ive never been into structured writing ever ever. but it felt… salty. like sweat drying on your skin. gratifying. to finish a whole piece.#it was a fit of mania perhaps. and i have more still bubbling there is much to create. i just have never created in this format before#hate it almost. digging my heels but its pointless to resist where the water knows to go you know? i cannot feel this way about painting#if that is not what is meant to be made at this time. the wild horse of inspiration will not bend to my comfort#yes i know i am an artist in the worst way. yes im aware of how i sound. i am not proud but i suppose i cannot either be ashamed#if i cannot be another way#idk i always wanted to be an airhead lol. before anyways. my grandfather does not understand his gift is as enviable as my own#hes not an airhead you could not imagine so after listening to him. but he is enigmatic in that way.#socialized better maybe. the gift of living as you imagine because you are not imagining at all#i never wanted to be reclusive. driven by fits of madness. but i dont have another way known to me#the life i imagine is lived by those who are not imagining it#but idk i think less nowadays. it helps to figure myself an unsocialized dog. something to be solved by careful hands#ugh. god with how i talk sometimes i wonder how it surprises me to become a pos writer. who else talks like that#anyways im incredibly ill still lol going to again attempt to shower the virus out of me
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420fps · 2 years ago
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okay I'll stop being weird for a MINUTE 😡 (that's all you get) and say Foolish and Tina's relationship is genuinely so sweet and wholesome. love that duo.
actually Karl foosh and Tina? OP trio. just the best vibes with those three.
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neckromancy · 11 months ago
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First time he appears in a dream at all (and even then very limited, never actually saw his face) and of course it was provoked by my gameplay with a friend yesterday where we ascended him for mechanical reasons (we play on a higher difficulty) so naturally I dreamed that we were both vampires and we were feeding off a body together.
But it was basically just a visual from the backside. I'll take any dream as limited as it gets at this point though. 👀
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sludgeguzzler · 1 year ago
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honest to god i think i spend more of my time artblocked than drawing. im being so serious right now when i say i havent drawn something decent/beyond a draft in more than 2 months and its driving me insane
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dynamicity-keysmash · 3 months ago
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I think it's important to understand that the vast majority of voters do not spend much time thinking through their political decisions because it's simply not something that occupies much space in their minds. You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into, and it's extremely difficult to fight feelings with facts.
Now that the Democratic party's inner core is highly-educated cosmopolitan urbanites, it seems to have lost the ability to deal with that reality.
Most people do not feel like trump is a fascist, or that he wants to be a dictator. Most people do not feel like any of Biden's massive legislative/executive accomplishments improved their lives at all. Most people do not feel like Harris's platform would've actually gotten done or helped them. Most people feel like Trump ran a better economy and that it's Democrats' fault that inflation got so bad.
In an individualistic, selfish nation with one of the worst education systems in the industrialized world, a political party cannot win by serving up a charcuterie board of various poll-tested policies that it then tries to explain to people who could not care less and don't understand anyway. It needs to create an overwhelming feeling, a feeling that changes the minds of people who don't give a fuck about anything but themselves and their wallets. Trump found that overwhelming feeling. Through bravado, cruelty, and levity, he created this zeitgeist of blunt, confident grievance that countless prideful people who feel left behind by the economy could grab onto. This feeling inspired people far beyond his cult of enthusiastic fascists and self-identified bigots.
The country chose trump because Trump's brand, vibe, and message inspired compelling emotions in more people, especially in people who have no interest in civic engagement, don't follow the news, and have been given little understanding of government/economics by our failing education system.
This problem wasn't fully apparent in 2022 during the midterms, when more low-propensity voters stayed home and highly-educated, highly-engaged people made up more of the electorate.
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