#I dont think itd be super hard to make either

[glitzybunny]

This makes me wanna tall about the silly little game idea I had last night but idk if I should keep it to myself for a bit or not JFKAJFJSKVNZJJSSKJF

[st4rstudent]

I've had this idea for a while but everytime I actually gave it thought, I'd get frightened last minute. But anyways, with summer coming up (and more free time), I've been considering making an ask blog of sorts just for fun. Does that seem like anything anyone would be interested in

naturally itd be more hc based because well. heh. looks around. gets scared

[prettyboykatsuki]

miss faNGGGGG!!! MISSS !!!! FANGGGGG!!!!!! please spare some thoughts on brothers best friend oliver 🧎‍♀️im on my knees. cz like i think hed get a thrill out of the indecency of it and maybe sendo would deem you off limits cz you’re too “clean” for a guy like oliver and itd only fuel him harder…

SDJLFJDFLK g*d. i hate this guy.

i think.... with sendo.... you guys are like total opposites. sendo grows up as like.. the perfect athlete jock type son. super popular and stuff.

i know you say clean here but in my mind im imagining ur sort of alternative u just keep to yourself to yourself a lot you know.... like bear with me but because sendo is so in the spotlight u sort of develop your own thing and tend to have your own individual style. very Different i suppose. you're a little weird and otherwise super straight-laced. got bullied for being different at one point or another but found a few close friends in school etc

sendo is sendo so he's always been super popular. u drifted apart when he played soccer more and so while u know of oliver u dont rlly get to know him until he's already a slut lol. sendo tells oliver that u probably wont be his type (not to be an asshole but u are not usually like who he dates) and to not be around you in general.

oliver sort of assumes that u have some experience though. like you have a certain look and style of dress that makes u stand out. so imagine his shock and surprise when he tries talking to you and you're kind of meek. you're like super doe-eyed which makes it even worse. and olivers like. oh. i have to make it my lifes mission to fuck this kid.

and so he starts coming over and texting you a lot. you're . so naive. which makes sense considering all that sendo has told you. but he really gets off on just how easily you seem to trust him. guys lie you know? don't you have any sense of danger. but guys have never been interested in you and you don't think oliver is either.

you guys meet on accident in a 7/11 near your house once and he sort of. jumps on the chance to be alone with you. you just make it way too easy. like way way way too easy. he doesn't even have to get you drunk he just asks if you have any kissing experience and then asks if he can kiss you when you say no. and you're like oh i mean. i guess. and you're super clumsy and it gives him a weird boner.

you lose your virginity in an alleyway and in the filthiest way possible. no condom either. baggy hoodie stuffed into your mouth, basketball shorts down at your ankles, socked feet pushed up out of your sandals and your hands on the wall with oliver fucking you in public - squirt and cum running down the inside of your thigh. he's fucking you hard too, no mercy just his hands on his hips while he moans about how good your pussy feels around his dick

he's kinda horrible because he keeps teasing you the entire time. and then when you give him a fucked out look over your shoulder and ask if you can kiss again he nearly cums right there.

you're like drooling and your thighs are trembling. you nearly fall down in the middle of it because your legs are so weak. he ends up taking you home after the first round and fucking you some more after that.

weirdly i do think oliver in this scenario ends up dating you in secret. he gets off way more on your sex innocent reactions and hiding it than he thought. sendoes gonna fucking kill him later but well, it's not his fault you make such a noise when he fucks you face down ass up yk

[devine-fem]

do you have any headcanons about how jon or damian would fall in love? or how they would react to a love confession (be it their crush OR not their crush)? would either of them be obvious to someone having a crush on them? i feel like, maybe, damian would have a hard time admitting his feelings but the idea of him being oblivious to someone's interest in him is funny to me.

i feel like the moment jon lets his gaurd down and spends time with damian where dami actually lets himself be like a normal kid and gives him a good smile, showing jon how fulfilling it can be to show damian happiness, that could be the moment he falls in love

damian on the other hand i feel like the overwhelming fear of losing someone is a good motivator, i wish their reasons weren’t so drastically different but itd take a lot for damian to willing admit his feelings. the realization that the one person he holds close might slip out from between his fingers and leave him is a good enough motivator

damian mentions this type of feeling like his feelings dont belong to him and hes not allowed to sit down with his own bleeding heart, he gives that type of speach to flatline right before he kisses her and it makes me think that dami would accept his own feelings if jon showed him that what he felt was pure and solely for them

i really like the idea that damian’s eyes pull jon in so intimately that over time from seeing damian like that he slowly falls in love

to how they would react to a love confession i actually feel like jon would be surprised and conflicted on abandoning his friendship with damian but for someone confessing that he didnt know, he wouldnt really mind just trying things out with that person

with damian i actually feel like he’d reject jon at first due to his own insecurities or selfishness and if it was someone he didn’t know he’d peobably be a bit heartless and cutting

jon’s crush being obvious? to everyone but damian. i like to imagine that scene he has with that girl where she reaches out for his hand and his super strength activates from anxiety, his hand clenches and he crushes the thing he’s sitting on but replace the girl with damian. its very cute

damian would be in a constant fight with himself trying to calm his heartbeat and the flurry of insistent thoughts he has about jon and assume they are sickness or hes confusion. i feel like at times he would get jealous of jon chooses to spend his time with someone else but he wouldnt understand that the emotion that hes feeling is jealousy or love. i feel like missions are a love language for him like was alluded to in the DCAU so he’d be pretty jealous if jon chose to go on adventures with someone else

in the worst case, jon would probably just assume that damian just straight up doesn’t feel the same at all and admitting his feelings is meaningless.

damian’s worst case would be swallowing his urges under the ideation that he’s being childish and weak.

i like the idea that they would be conflicted about them both being boys at first but know that theyre feelings are to strong to be sullied by something like that

i also feel like theyd wanna keep their relationship a secret or feelings a secret because theyre batman and supermans son, i feel like the pressure of being perfect for them would be knawing at their minds so they’d try and keep it under wraps as much as possible

thank you for that ask!!! theyre really cute and it would be really interesting to see them navigate a relationship with each other other

[spidermanifested]

❤️💙💖🏳️‍🌈 for FMA. Lay those unpopular opinions on me

oh im feasting today thank you so much

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

see. just by VOLUME id say probably mustang? because he has so MUCH fan content out there and so much of it makes him either a suave cool seductive sexyman or a tragic wet beast whos never done anything wrong. so percentagewise i think itd be hard to compete

However. if we're going in terms of whose personality ive seen get just absolutely mangled to the worst degree. and i think thats whats being asked here. Pppppprobably hohenheim or scar. scar because of racism. and hohenheim because nobody knows how to be normal about a well intentioned fuckup of a parent so instead he has to be literally the devil i guess

oh ling also gets done super dirty as well. people forget that his Airheaded Entitled Royalty act is in fact an act, BUT at the end of the day hes still fifteen years old so he can still be a little dumb and reckless despite being great at strategizing. these layers are apparently incomprehensible to those who want to flatten him into "goofy fun sunshine boy" or "thats basically a grown man right"

id mention the way the women and girls of the series get treated but honestly they either seem to get ignored, Hashtag Girlboss Queen'd and THEN ignored, or made into romantic set dressing for the guys. which is unfortunately too par for the course as far as fandoms go for me to have any kind of novel commentary on it. Sucks Out Here

wiat theres another one but i dont know if im allowed to say it. im scared

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

mustang again

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

HONESTLY???? just going off how my posts on the subject were received im going to have to say its "maes hughes was really conservative and kind of sucked". people did not like that one

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

hmmmmmmmmmmm. trying to rack my brain thinking of one. honestly there isnt really any character im immediately compelled to point at and go CISHET even if i dont like them because im a big enough person to admit that my fellow lgbts can be pieces of shit too. i am not a fan of olivier armstrong but shes definitely a lesbian and roy mustang is bi and deep in the closet and him and hughes had Something going on in boot camp #diversitywin #loveloses

maybe jean havoc. i know some people ship him with mustang, i have nothing against this demographic, however my personal read on havoc is just a larry butz type individual who at most tried to "go gay" out of desperation one time but found out it doesnt really work like that

[dudeslut]

Fuck i didnt expect you to actually do it. You really are a needy slut, huh? Typing all that out for some stranger on the internet. Readily getting off on the idea of some rando getting off to you. Im touching myself while i read your posts.

If i could id make sure you were always filled. Make you go about your day with a plug in your ass. Id try to put a dildo in you but i bet youd get so wet, itd slip right out. Probably for the best, if you went out in public all filled up like that id bet youd run to the bathroom to get off, rub your stupid little dick and cum right there in public. Bet youd be all oversensitive and twitchy after, everyone would know youre my little bitch. I only got some free time just now, thats why this took a bit. Came thinking about you insulting yourself. Its fuckin sad. You dont get the details of how i got off, all you get to know is that i did while thinking of you. You oughta thank me for that.

Next time, edge at least five times. Try to go for more, make me proud, yeah? See if you can cum without touching your tiny little prick. Maybe next time you get off, make a poll asking if youre allowed to touch your dick or just your holes. Beg as hard as you can, see if your followers think you deserve it. I know ill be voting for no. Have a nice evening, darlin. I liked touching myself thinking of you

The idea was too hot to resist; I'm glad you enjoyed the show! It drove me crazy and I came so quickly thinking about how I was doing all this to be nothing more than jerk off material for you. It made me super horny all over again as I typed it out, reliving it. Give me instructions and I just can't help but obey like a good little whore! Oh you have no idea just how much of a needy slut I am. I would ask for more jerk off instructions so you could find out just how needy and slutty I am, but it seems you've already provided 😉

God, I'd loved to be filled to the brim with your cum and plugged all day for you 🤤 But you're right, I wouldn't last long before my needy little cock would take over. My horny brain too weak to deny my dick what it wants. I'd have no choice but to give in and rush to find somewhere like a bathroom to touch myself. If the space was big enough, I'd strip off my pants and boxers and spread my legs wide for full access to my dick and holes. Jerk myself off while I play with the plug in my ass 😵‍💫 If the space were too small, well I'd just have to come in my pants. Either way, my oversensitivity, fucked-out expression, and twitch in my step would communicate loud and clear that I just fucked myself stupid. 🥵 Thank you for letting me know you got off to me moaning and degrading myself like a whore. It felt so good imagining it was you insulting me like that and now it feels even better knowing you know all the details of how I came.

Next time I will edge more! I will focus on denying so I can teach myself discipline to make you proud. Aw I don't think I could cum if I don't touch my little dick! But if you and my other followers say I'm only allowed to play with my holes then I'll have to be a good slut and obey. I'll be so desperate to teach myself to cum from just getting fucked because the constant denial would be too much. Fuck I have so many ideas 🤤 I'll keep you all updated as long as you keep telling me you got off to my slutty behavior and keep sending asks like this 😘

[modernghostfare]

Speaking about Price coke anxiety. Drug headcanons go who smokes what

okay okay. i talked it out w cero bc i rly do have a LOT of feelings about like. esp price and ghosts drug use/views. im gonna start w price bc i was thinking about him this morning. also putting this under a readmore bc it got long also, obvi, tw drugs

so like price as a person is very impulsive and very, very indulgent but i think those are traits that he Doesn't want people to recognize in him. he doesnt Want to be seen that way he wants to be seen as a very noble person. ALL THIS to say i think like when he was younger, fresh in the military, needing a way to stay awake he would use coke for that and it just turned into very frequent, regular use of cocaine to keep him awake and also just bc he Likes it hes an adrenaline junkie. he likes the confidence boost coke brings. but people like macmillan wouldnt like that bc he would See his potential and would wean him off a more frequent use and i think nowadays price would be like. really embarrassed by this past issue of his bc it shows a lack of control that he, like, would hate for others to see. but he will still enjoy coke if someone has some to share. and its a cycle for him, do coke, get anxious on top of his Already pretty high anxiety (i think he just lives with a constant sense of doom), smoke weed to try to calm himself. sometimes weed makes him paranoid too but. well. deal with the cards he is handed.

GHOST is like. oh my god.. his feelings about drugs.. itd be easy to say hes anti drug bc of his upbringing but i just dont think hed skew that way. i think it would show more in his, like, feeling of superiority over "addicts." bc hes functional and holding down a job and hes not "addicted" to anything esp not "bad drugs" like heroin. i think esp downers he looks down on (except weed bc he likes weed so that makes it okay). of course hes doing coke w price.

and uh speaking of downers soap in his og journal mentions really liking oxys and i could still see newsoap being into like prescription drugs. bc i think hed be more anxious about like being Caught and being kicked out than price and ghost bc price and ghost have. like. safety nets of people looking out for them. and people whose piss they can use and soap wouldnt trust others to be clean like that. because of who he is around. oxys, xanax (bc he probably actually does need xanax,), and mayb adderall. if hes not already prescribed adderall. it would be cute if he had undiagnosed adhd and he keeps taking adderall hes bought off someone else like "yeah idk i feel more focused"

gaz is like.. a super neutral party in my head. his drug usage is very social by nature, if its around him and its offered to him he will try it. however hes also very like, strict about his usage like he will do a bump of coke ONCE he will smoke ONE blunt because he doesnt really super care to be high. esp weed. sometimes weed lasts too long for him and it starts to get on his nerves. his biggest vice is probably just normal smoking, either from vaping or regular cigarettes, but he isnt like stressed about it. i mean hes around price all the time dude is huffing cigars like he'll die without them so even if he was worried about lung cancer or even just lung capacity he wouldnt stop smoking.

as for the rest of sas i think the only person regularly doing drugs is otter. meth bc its cheaper. thorne WOULD NOT bc hed be an antidrug type but i think also really like is not an asshole about it hes not giving anyone any speeches unless they ask for one. charly doesnt care much either way but she wont do any hard drugs.

nikto can be summed up like this:

I DONT WANT THIS TO GET TOO LONG !!!!!!! i might make a tier list actually of the others. maybe. if needed. the only other main point i want to make is nikolai is price's plug and thats why hes able to continuously get drugs.

[melissa-titanium]

the ask game stuff..001 for N nd doll (giggles

GO FUCK YOURSELF . but thank uou... anime berdly emoji . ill answer...FOR NOW

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: VERY RECENTLY ACTUALLY id say within the last like two weeks. ive always loved doll and always loved n but then i realized like. oh huh i connect alot with n and want to make out with doll . boom. its like borderline selfship at this point its cringe as fuck but let me do whatever i want.

my thoughts: surprisingly i don't have as many thoughts on them as i did but i feel like. because of how much of a foil doll is to uzi i think thats the word it would be like. IDK i feel like for doll it'd help to understand the 'humanity' of the dds. if she witnesses a disassembly drone killing war machine trip over his own tail or bump his head into a doorframe and wince and laugh and talk and hug with gentle arms and do things that she specifically reprogrammed herself NOT to do so she'd have a better chance to kill her worst enemy and avenge her parents... she would short circuit. to actually get to the point of not killing him on sight would take a while or lots of coercing via ... lizzy? or hell maybe even uzi im not sure. unless they had an individual encounter (which, you know, could totally happen! doll out in the wastes and n is on a solo hunt, you know her ass was following them.) that lead to a stalemate, i'm not sure how they'd even meet. HM OK NOW IM THINKING ABOUT THIS. either way tho n has a habit of befriending insane drones (or like... smoochin depending on how you see enzi tho i see them as platonic) and i think he could. Not fix her but he could be there for her bless. and again i think she could help him be not a doormat 💛 also stupid hc i had aboit them i hv always thought doll to have like... a freakishly good memory. which, works perfectly paired with n because like .you know. his memory prahblems . dolls ass can remember the angle of your arm when you were like fucking sitting on a chair on the 13th of april last year or some shit like she PAYS ATTENTION even if she doesn't often share her input... which is also a good thing bcos n is super inclusive always. n voice DOLLLL LOOK WE ARE DOING A THING!!!! :D & shes just like. sighs okay (comes ova 2 him) and eventually.. i think itd get to the point where she can go do shit on her own without being explicitly invited YAY

What makes me happy about them: gotta bring up the Me & My Wife shit again bcos its borderline selfship at this point. i just think its interesting and awesome I REALLY HOPE THEY HAVE AN INTERACTION... tho i doubt it; i think they might fight or smt in ep 7 WHICH HONESTLY I WOULDNT BE SAD ABOUT my goil needs moe screenrtime

What makes me sad about them: doll probably hasnt experienced like. affection in fucking ages & frankly n really hasnt either. i think they'd hold hands and talk about their kill counts. also i just realized they both kind of went thru a period of time tht was little socialization only KILL. doll had school & lizzy, sure, but also living in an apartment with ur parents' & dozens of others' corpses its like. tht fucks w u. but the interesting thing about them is… n and doll don't experience guilt over Killing And Eating People the same way i think. like. just for example v and uzi do (atleast in my perception). like v couldnt cope with the knowledge she had so she fell extra EXTRA hard into her role (atleast using her maid self as an accurate portrayal of her old self) and uzi has never ever experiuenced anything like that before so its fucking terrifying to her. however, with doll and n… they dont percieve it the same way. we understand that both of them are capable of guilt but it takes a very strong connection for them to experience it. ep one; n feels bad for making uzi argue with khan & ruining the card game. does he say a single thing about killing and eating half a dozen workers? No! because it's natural to him. there's nothing out of the ordinary in that situation except for the fact that he was "rude" by interrupting someone & "rude" by causing an argument. yes, he's very sweet and patient and all of the above but he doesn't see killing as really a BAD THING… he sees it as a necessity; as him being useful, higher numbers means hes doing a good job. but, really, that's all he's known. he doesn't remember being a worker. after meeting uzi he's capable of realizing… oh, these are living creatures! i feel a little bad now. but the guilt doesn't come crashing down onto him and leave him utterly devastated at his kill count, it just sits there. it festers. similarly, in my opinion, to how doll reacts to guilt. we see her as this unstoppable force at every point until the end of promening. she knows her goals, she knows what she has to do to get to them, and has shaped herself into the perfect killing machine to do what she needs, removing all forms of guilt from her person to make sure it doesn't get in the way. though, again, it comes bubbling to the surface back from where she buried it so deeply under all her anger when uzi pops her emo little head in. she isnt instantly all "oh my god, what have i done?" but it eats away at her all of this fucking time, she has been killing and hurting her kind, believing she was the only one who could possibly shoulder this burden and deal justice to those who deserved it. but now that she knows she isn't alone… it festers.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i've seen like three n/doll fics literally EVER but i'd honestly say. major mischaracterization of doll... i feel like doll gets mischaracterized more than n? n's behaviours are easy to understand and read with a surface level understanding because he has more screentime and again ON THE SURFACE looks relatively simple. i think a huge thing in some fanfics that bugs me is that. imitation of speech patterns = perfect characterization WHICH IS NOT TRUE... but also understandably makes it difficult to do with doll because she doesn't talk alot, while N talks a LOT so it leads to a heavy imbalance in mischaracterization. just because the characters would fucking say that, doesnt mean they would Fucking Do That

apparently there is a word limit on tumblr. pleasantly surprised this will be two posts instead

[irlbkgs]

💖🎃🧸 for the ask game? with any f/os you wanna talk about !! :]

💖 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

adrian: sooo he kind of word vomits all the time which means a lot of his compliments are just like. jumbles of words that don't really make sense. that being said because he does word vomit a lot and he's naturally very affectionate that means there's like. no end to the compliments even if they're really simple or dumb. i think probably the nicest compliment he's given me was probably saying for how often i act stupid im actually not and he appreciates that at least at times i can help him with things he has little to no experience with. even if he's older he's still got things he knows nothing about.

as for nicest compliment ive given him its really hard to say because im not much of the type to compliment, it either makes me feel really shy or like i dont know if the words im using are right so i just Dont. but i def try more with my partners bc ik its unfair to never compliment them, especially in adrian's case bc he does it all the time. i try to give him little ones just on his appearance and stuff but i think the one he probably appreciated most was just me telling him he's fucking fantastic at dnd. like dming or playing a character, he's great at roleplaying and voices and coming up with things to move the plot along and memorizing actions and spells etc etc. im fucking dogshit at all of it so its like watching the grandmaster of nerd shit do his thing and not break a sweat. very cute but also very impressive.

daryl: now for daryl, we're both on the same page with compliments. he doesn't know how to choose the right words and he isnt very good with emotional stuff so his compliments mostly consist of "you look pretty" if i dress up or "good job" whenever that's applicable. one of the compliments that he's given me that rly stuck out tho was literally just him appreciating me being patient with him bc i wouldn't consider myself a patient person in general but when it comes to emotional stuff i try to give him as much grace as possible bc i also want some myself. we're both super stunted in that department so i try to be lenient lol

nicest compliment ive given him is probably in a similar vein, ive thanked him at least a couple times for taking care of me bc he really doesnt have to but its something that really feels special to me bc i cant remember the last time ive had somebody actually do that for me. actions speak louder than words for me as well so simple shit like letting me get extra rest, cooking and cleaning up make me just as happy as a compliment.

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

adding billy to this one bc its halloween stuff lul

billy: obviously he's a big halloween guy but funnily enough i wasnt allowed to celebrate halloween growing up for religious reasons so stuff like carving pumpkins feels special but also very tedious to me bc there's zero nostalgia and i dont think billy would care much for that specific tradition either. i might drag him out to the patch to pick out some pumpkins for decoration but carving isnt likely to happen. apple picking however...he complains but he helps bc if he doesnt he gets no pie :>

if we did carve, his design would be way more detailed and better looking than mine. itd be like contest worthy. id just do one of those store bought designs and somehow butcher it anyways.

adrian: he is big on carving pumpkins!! but bad at it!! just as bad as me so its a lot of throwing guts at each other and then ruining our pumpkins so bad we cant even display them. we'd roast the seeds for a snack tho :3

daryl: we would not be doing allat but we would (if we could) watch some movies. im thinking alexandria era us would involve a lot of picking up any movies we find on runs and just watching anything we have, even if it has nothing to do with halloween. if we did have halloween movies, daryl would fucking haaaate my picks but deal with it bc he looooves me and id hate his too so its okay. he's def more of a serious horror fan whereas i like horror comedy.

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

billy: at best, jewelry, maybe some plain little silver chain with his initial (possessive much?) but besides that i think he wouldn't go with a classic gift. he'd get movies, merch, knives, but roses? stuffies? god no. and i don't even like chocolate so that's def out of the question.

adrian: flowers for sureeee and possibly a stuffie if he was feeling extra. he'd get flowers with my favorite colors (pink and green) but he'd make sure they didn't mean anything bad before he got em bc he's slightly superstitious. stuffie would be of the hello kitty or skelanimals variety.

daryl: also probably wouldn't do a classic gift, but is again partial to jewelry. it would be nothing fancy, just a bracelet, but it would be handmade which would make it way more special. he'd get help from carol who probably learned to do stuff like that with sofia.

[misc-obeyme]

i personally think even if most people dont want comms, itd be a nice thing to just Have as an option. make a few extra dollars every now and then yknow? imagine youd still do requests mostly though, not a major change just an option :3

Honestly I’m flattered that people have expressed any interest in that at all lol.

But my big hang up is the money part. I’m getting some feedback about it being the money that would prevent people from doing a commission which I totally understand.

This has always been a labor of love for me, I never really thought about involving money. I actually have a ko-fi but I’ve never posted the link anywhere because I don’t want people to feel like they need to give me money.

I'm still on the fence about it - I personally don't care too much about the money. I'm not exactly rolling in the dough, but I get by just fine so it isn't like I need it currently.

I have to regularly re-calibrate myself because I get too wrapped up in the number of notes posts are getting. It's hard not to let that number influence how I feel about my writing. And every time that happens, I remind myself about why I'm doing this, which is to have fun. If I enjoyed writing a piece, then it doesn't matter if it gets two notes or two million notes. (There is a lot of mindset gymnastics I have to go through on my side of things lol.)

But if the motivation is that someone is paying me real actual money, then there's a lot more stress involved for me to write something that person will enjoy. Then it's no longer about whether or not I'm having fun, but whether or not that person is getting their money's worth. Even if that person is super chill about it, that's how my brain is going to deal with it.

And of course there's the question of my time... which I wish wasn't an issue, but I do have a full time job and I already write a lot for this blog lol.

I dunno, I like talking to people about their ideas. I love discussing the craft of writing. I'm willing to do stuff like beta reading, editing, or proofreading. I'm happy to give writing advice. All of which I'd do for free if someone really wanted my input.

I haven't made a decision either way yet, but I hear you, anon! And I appreciate you giving me your thoughts on it, too. I don't have time to do anything more until after October, so we'll see how I feel about it then!

[aropride]

thing ive been thinking abt recently. if i got hurt or in an accident or something and i couldnt communicate medical decisions or smth. who would decide what would happen. id assume itd be my parents but i really dont like that. and i think that means theyd also be able to have me involuntarily hospitalized and thats not a super big concern rn but it could be in the future and i wouldnt like that either. and i know getting married generally means that ur spouse automatically gets that right but i dont plan on getting married either so. Do i just have to try really hard to never get hurt or sick. if i get hurt when im like 50 could my 80 year old parents control what happened to me. what if they died who would make decisions then. Do i have to just get married. i dont want to get married im not a fan of marriage personally or as a systemic thing and sooo much of society and law and medical stuff and EVERYTHING assumes everyone can and will get married. Agghhhhhhgfhhh

[breadboylovin]

8, 15, and 38 for the ask game :]

8: Want any tattoos?

tattoos are another thing that idk if ill ever get... the fact that theyre permanent scares me >___< but if i did get one itd be a tramp stamp of the ouroboros. i just like snakes and the ouroboros is sooooo me. after my tropical marine bio class in belize my classmates were also talking about getting matching tattoos of our favorite animals we saw and i wouldnt mind having a stoplight parrotfish tattoo (my pic of one below <3)

15: Favorite movie

idk if i have a definitive Favorite so ill just show my top 4 on letterboxd

spirited away is one of the two ghibli movies that my anime sword biker uncle pirated for my sister and i so i love it dearly. anyone who followed me two years ago knows how i feel about the lost boys. the lion king has some of the most incredible color palettes ive seen in an animated movie and the songs are just fantastic. baby driver has incredible action and it makes me mad that the two main actors are fucking creeps (but i always pirate it to watch it so theyre not getting any of my money LOL)

38: My childhood career choice

i honestly dont remember what i wanted to be as a little little kid... probably a paleontologist since my sister and i loved reading this one dinosaur atlas we had. once i started drawing seriously (so when i was like 11) i wanted to have my own cartoon and go to art school... but in junior year i realized that doing art as my job would probably burn me out HARD. i like keeping it as a hobby so i can have it as solace when life throws curveballs at me (i think the only reason i survived senior year of high school was through drawing super self-indulfent stuff to keep myself sane)

my CURRENT career choice is wildlife ecology at either a national park or some sort of reserve, or even someplace thats not bio focused (for example the kennedy space center has a wildlife ecologist who actually gave a lecture at my college! she basically tracks the birds that nest there and makes sure that they arent impacted by rocket launches and such). ideally ill get working somewhere that has shit internet and a lot of stuff to do so i can stop being on my computer all day LOL

(from this ask meme)

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] going by quaggyday's ask if that's ok to intercept- but tbh i agree with that perspective too!! like gosh if anything it's actually a really nice depiction when it comes to defining how xiao's karmic debt works in a realistic sense. cus like, to me in my dumb poopoo terms, that karma is the residual corrupted power from the dead gods yeah? and this comes from either those that are stronger than him or not. what lumine can or cannot get rid of with her purification abilities depends too, and even for her she doesnt know the extent that this unknown ability provides since the start (since it's pretty sudden but useful trait when treating dvalin)

there's plenty of interpretations and fics that get me a lil pressed that ppl wants his karmic debt to ~~disappear completely~~ for a happy end, when how i personally see things it doesnt need to be the case bc its all about his growth. not that xiao needs to be in constant suffering when he already is, still, but that highlights so much of the importance of his support system, the people who can guide him and help lessen the pain with whatever they can manage. and it doesnt have to center to lumine too, which is another common thing that gets me a lil icky in their stories that she's the only person who can save him (and other ppl with the purification ability, which i dont need to mention who).

putting a difference of whats inside karma, between the gods power and chronic pain as an effect is super good and is what i thought of too!! and true as heck that it's something xiao's body has been accustomed to and even if the corruption chips away bit by bit, it doesnt completely rid of whats already damaged and even then, healing comes so slow for an adeptus. especially if the source being dead gods of higher power. this is something his siblings couldnt overcome long enough in their lifespan, and what xiao is still trying to push back (or accept it, and in turn he suffers more of its effects). so like!!! it just makes sense this way imo

i love pondering of his karmic debt being a metaphor of chronic illness cus man is he fighting so hard for it, and the clock always ticks down for him faster than anyone, even as an immortal. which is sad as hell, and we all copiums together how to at least make it a lil easier for xiao yknow. explodes too

"when it comes to defining how xiao's karmic debt works in a realistic sense" real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god and with lumine not knowing the extent of her own ability,, and yeah no like. in my perfect world the karmic debt is very under control and no longer agonizing or life threatening but i dont think i could ever believe it going away Completely, and i think that if it DID vanish completely itd be a huge disservice to. everyone involved, xiao included. no he does not deserve to be in pain 24/7 but this is something hes willingly accepted and carried with him for so long, something he probably feels has shaped him, i just. idk itd feel so fucking Weird for it to just magically be completely gone ?? it does something and sends a message i cant figure out how to put into words, as opposed to being able to live with it and in spite of it and show that you dont need to be ""cured"" just to be able to exist and be content and supported and loved.

"the clock always ticks down for him faster than anyone, even as an immortal." IM GOING TO SOB THIS HITS SO HARD AND HURTS SO BAD GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD what if we exploded Together. what then.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

(hope no one is mad I used the the one time turn) do people with aspd have no feelings? If they do not have feelings, what exactly does that… feel like?

i knew itd be about emotions 😭 aight everyone pack it in time for me to answer the one allotted offensive question

i have feelings! i talk about them... quite a lot on this blog haha. but the way i feel them is different. a Lot different

the main way i feel is that my body will perform the physiological response to an emotion, but i won't feel it. for instance: i'll smile without feeling happy. cry without feeling sad. tremble and tense and have chest pains without feeling anxious.

it makes it... very hard to identify ptsd triggers.

but i DO feel emotions! they come easier late at night, and there are some things that make me sad without fail, but they ARE there and i can feel the genuine emotion sometimes, it just takes a LOT to get me there.

anger comes easy. one might say too easy :(

i can also.. force it? i think its because im a) a writer who b) loves analysis? but if i think REALLY SUPER HARD abt it ill get sad. i need a poignant line to do it tho

but its usually shit i get sad about usually, like pet loss or the loss of freedom that comes with disability or the inherent isolation of being differrent

sometimes i think about how i'm doomed to be fundamentally isolated forever and i feel emptier than i usually do.

but when people say "i feel bad for hurting you," i didnt know that was a real thing, haha. i feel bad but its either a reputation thing or a "crap. i gotta fix this mistake i made" thing. ofc i LOGICALLY know that i did a bad thing to my friend and that was wrong and i made them upset, but i cant seem to care much. and if i do, its easy for me to justify whatever it is ive done. i didnt know people ACTUALLY felt bad for hurting people! it caused a LOT of undue anger to my fiance, because i thought he was just pacifying me whenever he said that. turns out he was completely genuine. whoops :(

so my emotions are definetley different from most! and due to aspd stereotypes i feel the urge to continue to distance myself from them in order to be a "real sociopath" and not get fakeclaimed. but they ARE there!

also you dont actually need dulled emotions to have aspd, haha. its not in the dsm OR icd criteria! its just a symptom many people with aspd have in common, but its not required for diagnosis. the "sociopaths have no emotions" thing is mainly bullshit peddled by sensationalized media and pop psychology

(sidenote, sometimes i think about how having low/no empathy isnt required either. i def do have low empathy but... its just one symptom... you dont need all the symptoms.... wild... idk it just makes me have a think sometimes cuz damn)

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Ben and Ed

dead game, am i right?

ill come out and say that, for better or worse, the most notable thing about this game is how much it shows its age.

so, indie games have always been innately countercultural in my opinion. people make indie games because theyre inspired to do something the AAA industry lacks, and a lot of the indie games that pop off into popularity do so because they offer something that mainstream gaming cant. in the current zeitgeist, we can see that best by comparing the innate simplicity and modest of indie games compared to sony's big 10-years-in-the-oven blockbuster. thats not to say indie games dont have work put into them, id never say that the year after pizza tower and sea of stars game out, but those are video games for gamers, not cinematic experiences for the general public

all this is to paint a picture of the mid-aughts, where gamers were freaking the fuck out about their hobby being made casual. the industry didnt want to cater to the same closed circle of hardcore dedication forever, and wanted to follow the wii's success by making gaming something everyone can enjoy. in other words, less call of duty, more wii sports. also unignorable is super meat boy hitting the shelves in 2010. i bought a copy from walmart as a kid (a physical disc that made me download steam to play it) and was shocked by the difficulty and the humour trying way too hard to be offensive. woah, an aborted fetus is the bad guy, youre just like the kid in my class whos mean to girls for attention. either way, it was a runaway success, and set the standard for indies to be rude & tough even if they werent directly inspired

so, ben and ed happens. an unflinchingly difficult platformer that has a meanspirited and gross edge to it. and yeah, this sure reads like someone wanted to make a difficult game all right. it's not I Am Bread levels of fuck-you-just-because, but it still feels like it cares more about being hard than being fair

like, the penultimate level has buzzsaws swinging back and forth across a pit of acid that the platforms dunk you into sometimes. add some laser sharks and we have an avgn bit. but it doesnt feel like ive been given a fun challenge here, just something hard for the sake of saying "look at me i did a tough thing" to all my friends. it doesnt feel intrinsically rewarding to overcome, because the difficulty is cheap

also, in the very same level, you can press tab and ragdoll under everything for like... two minutes straight. thats not hard, dude.

my final conclusion is that this game feels like its chasing trends from the time and doesnt hold up as a result. maybe itd feel less like that if the game didnt have the same "look at me im so dark and yucky" vibe that every newgrounds game had? like, the premise of kidnapping a zombie and making them play wipeout is already bleak enough, you dont have to make the antagonist jontron with acne and litter the game with ads for meat-flavoured dentists or whatever the fuck.

to close this off, i think this whole thing can be summarized by saying if you know about this game in the current year, at least if youre anything like me, you probably know about markiplier losing his shit

whats at the end? ...a facebook link, to a page trying to kickstart an ARG that fizzled out due to lack of interest and seemed to just be a roundabout reference to a creepypasta from almost 15 years ago.

alright

[wildcatofgreen]

-Slice of life or plotted ideas?

Mun Questions

Slice of life or plotted ideas?

((good question! i dont know!

((i [mostly] kid, but like

((okay, lemme like, take this as more of a "random events pull the muses together" vs "the muns have an idea in mind"(

((in all my years of rp BEFORE this specific blog, it's always been the first one. and that's fun! it's lead to a lot of drama and a lot of funny things happening. like i still remember sonic teaching carol how to spin dash, or discord landing in carol's theoretical lap and chillin', or some random fights that happened all because carol is a hard headed idiot

((however, this year has kind of been my first REAL intro to plotted rps

((thaaaaaat i remember, anyway

((like, okay, im 100% sure me and sonar-mun plotted on the previous blog, but i literally do not remember a single lick of it. and it's never been to this extent where we have EVENTS PLANNED fucking WEEKS in advanced.

((dont quote me on this but i think as soon as sister's intuition finished there were thoughts about how carol confessing to sonar would go. i think we are both surprised at how it actually ended up but i know thoughts were thrown around and we've had this vague idea on how itd go

((IMs didn't EXIST back then! people had to talk through ASKS and FAN MAIL and shit. i even remember being MAD that tumblr did IMs in the first place.

((what a fool i was.

((ANYWAY! i think back then i was against the idea of plotting because it goes against what i felt like rp was/is--the SPONTANIETY OF IT ALL

((carol and fucking flowey meet, shenanigans ensue. that's it that's all you need and you have awesome interactions.

((or carol and sans. she tries to steal from him, sans threatens a murder. awesome! this is awesome!

((but like, with actual plotted THREADS you get these cool things that happen and then these spontaneous moments can happen BECAUSE of it

((it's like writing a story with someone and nobody knows what the outcome'll be--assuming y'all havent plotted that far ahead

((or, something something THE JOURNEY IS GREATER THAN THE DESTINATION. stuff like that.

((carol fuckin' used her jump disc WAY EARLIER in the jet race thread than i planned. me and them planned for it to tie but we didn't plan how we'd GET to the tie. and that's FUN. IT'S SO MUCH FUN.

((but then carol interacts with shigaraki on a whim and becomes... frrrrriends...? with a murderer. that's awesome. you cant get that anywhere else.

((there's a lot of give and pull between these two concepts and i find it incredibly fascinating. i love planning out shit with my friends. but i also love throwing this cat at my friends and seeing how their muses react! there's some things you just cant GET from either side and it's kind of magical.

((and this is all probably funny coming from me, the gal who writes a drabble every other day. but god i really DO love how cool some non plotted things are.

((side tangent about all my drabbles--A LOT OF THEM AREN'T PLANNED.

((CAROL IS ENGAGED RN BECAUSE AN ANON TEASED HER ABOUT IT. THIS IS HOW UNPLANNED MY DRABBLES ARE

((THAT ONE ANON ALONE SPIRALED OUT OF MY HEAD FIFTEEN OR MORE SEPARATE POSTS DETAILING THINGS I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT OTHERWISE

((the lilac confession's been a long time coming, lets be real

((BUT IT WAS PEOPLE WHO SEND IN THESE FUNNY ASKS THAT MADE IT BE AS BIG OF A DEAL AS IT IS

((it's a collaborative writing project, all of this is. it's so fucking awesome and i feel honored everyday i get to be apart of someone's world or someone wants to be apart of mine or AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

((you have no idea how HAPPY it makes me to rp and make all of these awesome memories and things happen. i would have been speedrunning instead of this if sonar-mun didn't egg me on to write for carol again.

((musical tea 4evr

((oh! and one last thing!

((plotted threads or plotted THINGS in general are SUPER DUPER FUN because like

((when you have that MOMENT in mind, that moment that you so desperately wish to HIT, it can cause a calvacade of consuing conumdrums figuring out how the hell you GET there

((i wanted to get to the confession really badly but i knew that carol would never do it on her own

((so, how does one get her to do it? have her vent to cory. then to tangle [THIS WAS UNPLANNED, DO YOU SEE WHY I LOVE RP SO MUCH], then talk to milla, and then confess to LILAC, FIRST.

((lilac's confession was the only thing in my mind that made me go ''carol would definitely want to confess to sonar after this. itd give her the confidence she needs. "if lyli can do it, then so can i!!!" ''. and i mean it didnt really turn out like that but STILL

((and THEN, AFTER ALL OF THAT, THEN DOES THE CONFESSION TO SONAR HAPPEN, AND OH FUCKING MAN DID IT HAPPEN.

((raw emotions on display for everyone involved. it was so short but it was also so fucking exciting. i LOVE HITTING THOSE MOMENTS. ITS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!

((but uh, yeah.

((tl;dr: theyre both good. i have a lot of passion for both and im totally down to do either or.))