#I don't want anyone to feel this way it sucks
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Omg congrats on 1k!!!
Soobin in the killa and gbgb performances have been killing me lately.. 🫠🫠 can i request a fic where reader goes down on him after his performance for either of these songs? Seriously never wanted to drop to my knees and suck a dick this badly in my life before this man 😵💫
baby, now, now, now, now
soobin x gn!reader
synopsis: he just looks too hot after a performance.
warnings: 🔞!!! oral (m!rec) prob forgot some sorry
wc: 1k
an: thank you so much! it was actually so hard to pick between gbgb and the killa for this lol but these photos spoke to me and picked themselves out. I go crazy watching these performances so I get you on a deeply personal and spiritual level okay and I rewatched the killas stage so many time to get inspo for this and omfg thank you for this ask I love watching that stage. but I hope you like this! not proofread forgive me sweet angel im forever indebted to you
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
It was not the first time you’ve seen the performance but it was the first time you’ve been there in person. This was entirely different from all the practices you’ve sat in on, every misstep followed by yeonjuns guidance, the soft laughs shared between the people in the room aiding the relaxed feel of the studio.
But here, sitting in the little private suite overlooking the stage you’re at a loss for words. No one should look that hot on stage, not even your own boyfriend. Maybe it’s the lights that hit soobin just right, the way they keep catching his hair; shiny with sweat. The big screen zoomed into every detail, black tank top stuck to his skin, his bicep flexing just enough to make the wrap around his arm look as if it would pop off from the force.
It’s enough to make the crowd go wild, the echoing cheers and screams louder than you imagined them. Every single one of them fawning over the way he looks, the way he moves, so in sync with yeonjun. It's almost impossible not to keep your eyes trained on soobins hips. Shirt cut just long enough to reach the waistband of his pants, just short enough so that every time he moved his arms or rolled his body it lifted up, exposing his midriff. Watching them dance during practice, Soobin was mostly dressed in sweats and a hoodie, unbothered by appearances when no one was around to see. Now here it's the opposite, your mouth watering at the way he's moving.
You're familiar with the way his hips move without anyone around, here with everyone watching it only makes jealousy bubble up for a second. And when he stretches back, arms above his head, so much of his skin on display for the camera to catch. It was addicting to witness.
When the two of you finally met backstage soobin couldn't tell if you were angry or tired. Never did he expect you to lead him over to the nearest dressing room, the lock twisted before you pushed him against the door.
“I'm all sweaty,” he chuckles, hands instinctively on your body already, head rolling back as he lets you kiss up his neck.
“I don't care,” you mutter, hand reaching down to palm him over his pants.
It took very little for him to get hard when it came to you. Just knowing you were watching him set his nerves aflame, but he worked so well under the slight pressure. He knew what got to you, knew the possibility of this very thing happening now, he could scope your neediness as easily as he could his own, both of you tethered together in that department just fine.
When you got down on your knees before him, fumbling with the button on his pants, he was whimpering, and already praying no one would walk past and hear him. The second you got your hands on him he was moaning in the back of his throat, pursing his lips as if that would help any with the sound.
You don't even have to work to build up any spit, your mouth watering on its own just having his pretty cock in front of you. Your thumb rubbed over his slit, spreading the beading precum around his pink tip. “You looked so good out there,” you say in between kisses along his shaft, “performing so well I couldn't stop thinking about sucking you off,”
You trace your fingertips across his veins, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he takes. “You sounded so pretty on stage, will you make sure to let me hear you while I make you feel good?”
He doesn't even get to finish his nod before your mouth is on him, so hot and wet he can't help the moan that leaves him. You hum in response, the vibration traveling up his spine and down his knees. He could buckle under the feeling alone, your free hand not circling what does not fit into your mouth is wrapped around his balls adding enough pressure to make him see stars.
Reaching out to the door handle for leverage, he needs anything to keep himself up, his head rolling back as you try to take him deeper down your throat. Even just the wet sounds of your working mouth makes his thighs tremble.
You move to pull away for only a second, enough so that you can go back to using both your hands when he pushes his hand into your hair. “No please don’t stop,” he whines pushing you back down onto his cock. You give a muffled yelp that has him moaning when he hits the back of your throat, so slick with your saliva he pumps in and out of your waiting mouth with ease. You don't even care about not breathing, on the cusp of just about to choke and pure bliss as he uses you. His hips work just as well as you knew they would, your hands wrapping around his thighs to help keep yourself still for him as he thrusts.
He's a mess of whimpers as he feels his orgasm build, your nails digging into the fabric of his pants, “oh god- I’m about to cum- I’m- I’m cumming- I’m-” he lets your head go as he cums, body slumping against the door as his cock twitches on your tongue, mouth flooding with his release, the saltiness so familiar to you as you swallow.
When you pull away his cock is slick with your spit, rivulets still connecting you to him as you giggle. You give him a few loose tugs, his hips jerking back at the stimulation to his sensitive tip where you place light kisses.
He reaches out to brush his thumb across your cheek, tracing it down to rub at your just fucked red lips. “You're so good to me, what did I ever do to deserve this mouth?”
taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask! also a little thank you to @beomiracles for looking at this and not letting me set myself on fire over it
#cams!1kevent#soobin x reader#soobin smut#soobin txt#choi soobin#txt fanfic#txt smut#txt x reader#yeonjun#beomgyu#taehyun#huening kai#soobin hard thoughts#soobin hard hours
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Travel Day III
Wonze x Baby!Reader
Summary: You go to camp for the first time
By all regards, the actual pregnancy went fairly well.
There was little morning sickness, not too many cramps and only slight discomfort.
You were a kicker though, always winding your foot back to slam into Keira's belly, like you were getting impatient and wanted out.
You weren't a particularly long birth either, surprising enough for a first time mother. It took barely half a day from beginning to end and then you were laying on Keira's chest with your chord cut and whining slightly.
Lucy cried when you were born, full on ugly sobs that only got worse when she got to hold you for the first time. She kept blubbering and crying and clutching you close like she was afraid you would disappear.
You're older now, old enough to hold up your head but still haven't met anyone outside of the family.
You look at Keira curiously as she packs your bag, whining and flapping your hands.
"Peanut," She laughs," I can't hold you all the time, you know."
No, you don't know that and you don't like the way that she's not holding you know.
A few nights ago, Mum had gone off to England Camp so it was just you and Mummy for a while. But now, as Mummy bustles around the hotel room, she says you're going too.
It's a little weird, you think, that this is being made such a big thing but Mummy is Mummy and you just want her to hold you, fighting against the straps of your bouncer.
Keira looks at your stubborn expression with a hint of a smile, shaking her head at the very Lucy Bronze determination on your face as you try to escape.
Keira ends up taking pity on your as you get increasingly frustrated with the buckle and lifts you up into her arms.
You face splits into a smile, your legs kicking out happily as she grabs the rest of the bags.
It's a short drive to camp and Lucy's waiting for her at reception. Or rather, she's waiting for you.
You're instantly in her arms, getting kisses all over your face.
"I missed you so much, peanut!"
You giggle, going cross eyed as a kiss lands on your nose.
"I'm here too, you know."
"Hi, Keira," Lucy says quickly before turning back to you," Everyone's so excited to meet you! Yes! Yes, they are!"
You keep giggling and Lucy carts you off to where everyone is waiting in the break room.
"Meet little Peanut!" Lucy announces, holding you up for everyone to see," She'll be taking your spots on the team very soon!"
"Yeah, right," Georgia laughs," We'll see." She and Leah are one of the first to approach, cooing over you and stroking your cheek.
The sensation makes you turn your head, rooting immediately. You find Georgia's finger, sucking it into your mouth before pulling a face when you get no milk.
"Looks like she's not a fan," Leah snickers.
Lucy transfers you into her arms and you feel a bit heavier than Leah expected. She'd always assumed babies to weigh the same as the baby dolls did but apparently not.
"This is auntie Leah," Keira says to you as she slightly adjusts Leah's hold of you," And that was Auntie G."
"She looks like Lucy," Leah says and Lucy grins triumphantly.
"I know, right?!"
They all ignore her.
"Does she have an England kit yet?" Georgia asks.
"She's tiny," Keira says," She doesn't need one just yet."
"How could you say that? Of course she needs one!"
"Yeah, Keira!" Leah agrees," You're denying her heritage! She needs a kit!"
The talk of you getting your own kit is briefly put away when the kit man brings out an adult sixed jersey that Leah and Georgia wrestle over your onesie.
It's a Walsh shirt that Lucy briefly complains about before shrugging and deciding if you can get her looks then you can also get Keira's shirt first.
You get whiny when Georgia's holding you though and she looks highly distressed as she stares at Lucy and Keira.
"She's hungry." Lucy's already digging around in your bag for the towel that Keira throws over her shoulder to feed you.
"Do you mind if I do it here?" Keira asks," I can go to a different room if-"
"It's fine!" Leah assures her," Just get the little one fed so we can keep playing."
Keira isn't sure if it's a baby thing or a you thing but you are incapable of eating in the light. You like to be covered by something. You like the darkness and you latch extremely well in those circumstances rather than the somewhat clumsy latches you have when you're out in the open.
Your latch is perfect now too and you happily suckle, one hand resting possessively on the top of Keira's breast like always. She briefly wonders if you do it because you think your source of milk will suddenly disappear.
"How much longer until she can walk?" Georgia asks," And how long until she can run?"
Keira frowns. "Why does it matter?"
"Because we need to train her up early," Leah cuts in," Honestly, Keira, why do you think? She's England's future! We've got to get her up to speed quickly!"
Keira gives them both a doubtful look. "And what if she doesn't like football?"
In answer, everyone looks at the way your legs are kicking happily as you feed.
#woso x reader#wonze x reader#keira walsh x reader#keira walsh#lucy bronze x reader#lucy bronze#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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if you have time and feel like getting frustrated, the comments on this thread are certainly a read: https://www.reddit.com/r/HelluvaBoss/comments/1gsa0nr/after_episode_10_i_think_blitz_is_ready_to/
to run it down quickly:
someone immediately points out Blitzo did apologize several times while Stolas never has
comments saying it's a good time to switch to see what Stolas is up to because he'll totally have become a better person by now, right? right?
comments like 'well it's been a month wth has Stolas been doing the whole time?'
comments implying it's on Blitzo to sit Stolas down and explain exactly where he screwed up, because holding him to account went so well last time with Mr 'I don't look down you! how many times - I'm not going to ask for examples and instead just racistly compare you to Striker' and Stolas is a three year old who can't be expected to do any thinking of his own
multiple comments along the lines of saying Stolas doesn't think he did anything wrong, is delululu, he suspects he did something wrong, he's open to the possibility that he did something wrong - I just don't get how anyone thinks Stolas is sympathetic or even likable at this point?? he's been told straight up to stop doing something before and ignored it, told he's upset Blitzo before and ignored it. how much more evidence do viewers need that their sweet sensitive boi is actually a selfish void of empathy? how do they still have the patience to believe he'll ever hold himself to account for anything when the entire season has been built to say he's not responsible and is just very sad and misunderstood? when there's quite literally a shot in the trailer implying he gets exactly what he wants - to make Blitzo his knight whether he likes it or not? if this were any other character there'd be endless essays about how much they suck and how abusive they are
someone falsely claiming "Blitz will still blame himself for being the one who came up with this whole deal" - uh, no he literally didn't?? Stolas did that.
someone else saying 'Stolas did nothing wrong' then being reminded he did, going back and watching s1 and remembering that he did used to be classist (kind of worrying that Viv's retconning is working on some fans tbh)
someone implying it's Blitzo and Verosika's fault for giving him different ideas about who was wrong like it's their fault Stolas went to Anti Blitzo party he said was childish and petty and would never go to. he could have stayed home and got blind drunk there instead
people pointing out that the rest of IMP messed up too by not using disguises so they should all be on the hook for it, not just Blitzo (not holding my breath for anything but the gang being like 'this is all your fault!' if Viv wrote those ones though) - this one makes me a little sad tbh, it's obvious Blitzo has no hope of getting any grace from Stolas but we already know he sucks. the writing on IMP is so inconsistent it's gonna be sad if his family threaten to leave him over a business plan that all three of them were all in on, too, just to pile on the Blitzo misery again
It's been crazy to see the subreddit, where the narrative is so tightly controlled, waking up little by little. They've still got a ways to go, but it's pretty astounding to see it happening at all, and being allowed to happen.
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(Dumb words after tonight's episode. Just for me, really.)
Oh, this ends now. Danny’s so fucking keyed up he can barely breathe as he stomps back to the locker room where most of the friendlier faces are holed up, hoping to go unnoticed. Danny doesn't want to be unnoticed. He slams the doors apart with enough force that the knows bounce back at him and has every single face turned towards him.
And then he stops halfway into the room, fuming and furious, hands balled into fists at his sides because the adrenaline has to go somewhere.
Orange is the first to get his wits about him; ironic. "Danny, you should—"
"Did you fuck him?" Danny demands, shaking against the floor, and isn't looking at Orange at all.
Darby's eyebrows arch. "Who, Claudio? Did you hit your head against—"
"Jack," Danny growls. "Did you fuck him?"
The room goes very, very quiet; still enough that Danny can hear the squeak of a sneaker sole against the tiles. There's a long stretch of nothing, too long, far too long, where Darby stares at him before he sucks in a deep breath and says, "None of your fucking business."
That's it: that's the answer. And Danny's seeing red. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I said it was none—"
"That's an answer," Danny cries. "Do you fucking understand what you did? He went after Matt, Darby, the man who has been like a father to me. Do you fucking know what that feels like?"
Oh, Darby’s pissed, all right, but Danny’s full of far more rage. It's all tangled up in his stomach, where it's been knotted since Matt's head made cracking contact with the announcers' desk. And Darby tries, he does, says, "I didn't have anything to do with—"
"He's fucking licking at my damn heels," Danny cuts him off. "He's doing everything he can, crossing every line, because now he knows it'll get him attention. Or validation. Or whatever brand of fucked up this is, I don't care. He's going after me like this because you fucked him up."
Finally, Darby’s features betray a reaction, a flicker of doubt. They aren't friends, him and Darby. They're barely allies, shoved together because of all this bullshit descending on the locker rooms around them. And Danny doesn't trust that Darby isn't gonna lunge at him, throw a punch, get his teeth out; no, Danny’s walked him into a corner, and there's a dozen other sets of eyes on him right now.
"Fuck off," Darby finally says, low and ragged.
"God, this is just fucking perfect." Danny points an accusing finger at him. "This is just fucking fitting. I've gotta deal with this deranged, righteous piece of shit who thinks that going after my family is gonna get him a sliver of the attention he's so fucking desperate for, because you fucking taught him it would work."
Darby's gaze flits sideways as his tongue comes out, drags along his bottom lip. But he doesn't say anything, and Danny doesn't think he can. It's pretty hard to argue with someone dangling the truth in front of your face. He just sort of hunches in a bit, shoulders slumping. Finally, because Danny’s got him on the ropes, he manages to choke out, "Seems like you got it all handled, doesn't it?"
"God," Danny spits. Of course, Darby was watching all that, not helping. Not getting involved. "Fuck you. And fuck this."
"Danny," Orange tries, ever the peacemaker, but it's too late. Danny will do this on his own, with Matt and Zay and Quen.
"I'm out," Danny tells the room at large: anyone and everyone. "I'm done."
When he leaves, there's no satisfaction, but whatever. He'll find it another way, by stripping the belt out of Jack’s miserable fingers.
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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yeah buddy i was exaggerating for humor. like, joking? you know joking? literally the reason i like dr wolf is because he's kind. i don't think he's an asshole. hell, gordon ramsay--as a persona, and with this meme, part of why it's funny to me (not to speak to his real life because i don't know much about it)--usually is. he's yelling at the adults because they are doing something wrong and should know better and being kind to children because they aren't.
i was more talking about both the difference in both vibe--dr wolf is more likely to say something unintentionally rude/blunt/seemingly confrontational to a non-patient, particularly i was thinking of nichols in the pilot episode as i'd just rewatched it (not that nichols wasn't being kind of rude there too lmao) and just how in general, especially with how closed off he is personally, he tends to focus his warmer/more open kindness and empathy on patients (and dr pierce, his one close friend). this isn't to say he's cruel or intentionally unkind to anyone (though he gives off that impression not just because of his faceblindness, though that's part of it, and again, i don't think that means he is an asshole) beyond being a little confrontational, which is almost always in defense of his patients (or to his mom, which believe me i am not here to judge), even if the other person has a point (which is admirable, once again, since i didn't say it enough apparently, this doesn't make him Actually An Asshole). wow that's a lot of parentheticals. i just woke up, my head's all over the place. anyway, that vibe, of how he's more (if you'll forgive the pun) patient with his patients, while coming off as blunt/rude to others usually because he's so focused on his patients, doesn't mean he's a dick, just that he's like, good at his job. which he is.
AND--yeah i didn't forget i said 'both'--i believe i was thinking of both the aforementioned scenes with nichols and other people he thinks are being dumb in episode one (not that he's wrong, and it's admirable he has his patient's best interests at heart, that's like, again, the whole point, that he cares when other people won't) and he's very... confrontational? i don't know how to describe exactly what i mean, it's not that he's being an asshole but that there are times where he's so frustrated with them he's ironically not seeing their perspective (ie, should we take the mom's kids away forever in the first episode? no! was it reasonable to take them temporarily and require supervised visits for the time being? yeah! then, i don't think he's stupid, i get he was also upset with the implication it could become permanent and i get that, but--you get what i'm getting at here? gestures frusuratedly) which is, again, not unreasonable, but a Vibe Difference. and also of when van first fucks up with the needle and standard biopsy, yes, it is totally reasonable for dr wolf to scold him and be like this is a very basic procedure a doctor has to do and you could have made this worse for the patient, but i admit the first time i watched i kinda thought he was gonna be like okay, what's wrong, because that was not a normal reaction--but he was more concerned about the patient's feelings than what was up with van, which again. is reasonable. and not making him an asshole. but the difference is there. do you see what i'm saying.
i literally do not want him to be an asshole. that sucks. i don't need dr house 2, if i want to watch that i'll watch house or one of the hundreds of terrible sherlock adaptations (i'm talking to you, bbc sherlock. elementary, you can stay.) i much prefer an eccentric genius character who is allowed to be openly kind and empathetic rather than be a cold asshole who maybe, if you're lucky, is ~hiding~ the kind heart under that. not that that trope can't be fun but it gets really stale and a character like dr wolf is way more refreshing and fun.
look bro the original post was a little reductive but it was also a joke i made right before bed after rewatching the first episode (i was forcing my mom to watch lol) like. chill
also really funny how with patients vs almost anyone else dr wolf is just that gordon ramsay with kids vs adults "im not leaving until you laugh" vs "WHAT ARE YOU????? (an idiot sandwich 😔)" meme
#i believe my original tags said something to this effect??#sorry you were so offended by my joke that you blocked me forcing me to retype this entire post (TUMBLR ATE MY SHORTER ORIGINAL RESPONSE)#and sorry for in my sleep deprived off the cuff post not making the THIS IS A JOKE I KNOW HE IS SWEET disclaimers more clear and huge.#last time most of this reply was in the tags so it wasn't such al ong monologue but then tumblr ate it#and this makesi t easier to save the text lmao#yknow admittedly he does say something unintentionally rude to a patient in the first episode too#('mom doesnt love us anymore' 'no! only hwen shes looking at you' *they all stare at him*) but i think even that like. the tone there#is different than say 'i've heard so much about you' 'i've not heard about you.' <- doesn't even know he's a problem yet lmao#anyway now that i've overexplained my reasoning for this joke that was meant to be a joke and not serious analysis#...i was gonna say something but i forgot what.#anyway this is so funny to me because like. i've just realized to everyone i've been talking to this show about#i've been blabbing nonstop about how il ove the main character is so kind and sincere and empathetic#and just generally a sweetheart with his being perceived as rude coming down to actual things he can't help and just like#being blunt but like FR not that 'this guy is an asshoel but we call it being blunt when it's really being a dick'#but i haven't actually made a post about it yet#amazing#sorry for the long post i'm incapable of not being long-winded#edit i think iwas a little tetchy in this one. sorry folks#im tetchy when i just wake up really should have given it an hour#but i was indignant at the idea i'd want dr wolf to be an asshole :(#i actively hate that i do NOT want him to be an asshole or think he's an asshole i love him as he is
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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I don't like Criston and I pray for his downfall daily, but "Rhaenyra rejected him once and he won't get over it" is such a wildly reductive description of the incredibly messy and complicated power and class dynamics going on here that I don't even know where to start. Idk why people seem so incapable of hating on him without warping the story to try and make him look worse. You don't need to do that, he looks plenty bad as-is.
#same w ppl being like 'so he said this thing 15 years ago but now he's acting differently in a similar situation? unbelievable.'#like can we please use our brains for a second here? please?#can we hate on him accurately?#i don't want to have to that weird 'don't hate him for that hate him for this' half-defense it's annoying#i feel like a lot of this is people trying to make rhaenyra look better or paper over the iffier stuff she did in that relationship but#pretending none of that was there doesn't help anyone. he may remind you of a shitty guy you know irl but that doesn't mean you should#project your experience onto something happening in a wildly different reality like they're equivalent. he sucks in his own specific way#hotd#house of the dragon#criston cole
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dark urge is fuckin' stupid and why does the squid riding along in my brain who has plenty of time to question my poor life choices, but has like zero things to say about Sleepwalking Murders.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 emperor#bg3 the emperor#bg3 tav#also given the uh.... probably triple digit bodycount of just playing the game normally and whooping anyone who gets in my way#I don't even know why I need EXTRA MURDER#I mean I guess more murder for the blood god but still#I feel like I have killed a reasonably high number of people with wanton use of fireball#IF YOU WANT ME TO STRANGLE PEOPLE SO BAD MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T'VE SPECCED YOUR SON AS A MAGIC USER#MY HANDSOME GUNS DO NOTHING#BG3 makes me convinced I would be nonreligious even in a setting where gods are real#Gods: *are real*#Me: Your life choices suck
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Discontent
You create from discontent. Most of your life has been spent being uncomfortable in your own skin. This body is just another house that's never felt like home. You don't know how to be at ease in this world or this life. Art is a way of running away, of forgetting yourself and escaping to a more comfortable place. To cope with an unhospitable reality, you create more welcoming worlds to consume your work and your waking hours. But the foundation of your art has always been your discontent with the real world and your life within it. Lurking behind the inviting scenery you dream of is the desperate desire to be anywhere but here. It is a world constructed as a respite from this one. Such vivid fantasies are the dream of one who considers reality a prison.
I just found this quiz and it’s, phenomenal
#Worst part is that this ain't wrong#When I say I hate myself I actually mean it#I could rip my flesh off my bones and put on a new coat of paint#Or try to change my upbringing#And I would still loathe myself#So I make a rt to make others happy#That way they don't feel like this#Or if they do I can help keep those thoughts away#I don't want anyone to feel this way it sucks#I'll cry myself to sleep goodnight honk mimimimi
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very weird to frame your abuse apologia as being aware that the writers intended to illustrate a mutually harmful dynamic and not an abusive one. when the writers in question also wrote the line 'once you put it out there, they [the audience] decide what it is' because nothing you ever create has any innate definition. when the writers in question decided to racebend major characters and then showcase them being harmed by white or nonblack characters in a repeatedly racialized pattern when they Did Not Have To Do That and then genuinely or disingenuously decide to dialogue about their directly or indirectly illustrated racialized dynamic of intimate partner violence within and outside the narrative. like to be quite honest it does not matter what they intended because this is what they made and this is how it Looks to a notably large amount of people. who just happen to be interpreting it wrong? according to what metric? the very metric they say Doesn't Work in their own fictional creation? ok
#j watches interview with the vampire#i keep saying i'm tired of talking about this but i'm not#iwtv is SO enjoyable to me when i Don't make excuses for obviously shitty people#cannot comprehend the level of mental gymnastics. well actually i can lol#like i'm not trying to suck the fun out of a fictional show of fun fucked up dynamics#it's fun and fucked up Because. they let it be fucked up#let it be fucked up!#so many people seem to have such an aversion to the idea that lestat ever abused anyone but especially louis#when we know even if he didn't abuse louis he definitely abused claudia. often IN very misogynistic and racist ways btw#which people conveniently ignore#let alone that he does similar things to louis even when he at the same time would never Want to abuse louis#like both are true. i think. like#it's good that we as a society have tried to be better about cutting off abusers at the heels to compensate for it not happening Enough#but we have to stop pretending they aren't human people and that abuse is a Human act and that their humanity#and our ability to understand them with Our humanity just Disappears the second they do something monstrous#like no. both are true. all of it's true#pretending lestat was never abusive does nothing for no one#and i really truly feel like it takes the bite Out of such a compelling story to view it that way#let it bite my friends i promise you will survive it#imo seeing lestat's abuse for what it is =/= Cancel Him NOW like. i still enjoy him for what he is as long as he's Allowed to be what he is#which the finale. um. appeared to backpedal lol which is why it immediately sucked to me#realizing i am Because Of Woke-ing lestat but like people are afraid to call him abusive because they like him and they feel like#they can't continue to like him if they admit he was ever abusive. Because of Woke HFKSDJF
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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sometimes i just kinda sit there and think about how it is genuinely difficult for me to conceive of myself being desired
#i like myself a lot#but i don't really trust or expect other people to specifically single me out as attractive or worthwhile#like i guess i'm cool to others when there aren't other options or priorities but i'm not going to be actively pursued or chosen#i'm never the easiest option and therefore not the option anyone goes for#i think part of the appeal of embracing my bisexuality is hoping that maybe i /could/ be an easier option#bc when you're just dating people of the same sex there are a lot of things that can make it complicated or even impossible#and it hurts#and it sucks#i am so used to being treated in a certain way in relationships i naturally gravitate towards#to the point that i shame myself and feel selfish for simply wanting to be seen as attractive or treated with genuine care#like. somewhere in my gut i just don't think that can happen to me#i really want to believe that my gut is wrong and that i've just had very bad luck and i've made some bad choices in the company i keep#so i'm trying to keep searching for connections#but it sucks to feel at every turn like i'm almost delusional for wanting to be desired and treated well#those are very reasonable things to want#and other people get to have them#so why can't i
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Can't wait to see what the consistently uncooperative nurse who answers my GP's messages has to say, if she messages me back. I bet you twenty bucks right now her reply makes it obvious that she didn't even glance at the rest of the thread.
Lady, you have way more going on than me. I know you're busy. I also know I am annoying. I'll stop bothering you if you tell me what you need from me so I can move on to the next step because until you do, I can't. Stop wasting your own time.
#if she flubs the next response i will have to call and insist to talk to someone backstage#which sucks because they're never available and there is for some reason no voicemail so if nobody answers the phone I just get disconnecte#and have to call again and again because even though it's the only way to reach anyone#leaving a message with the front desk only works about every fifth time#so calling and waiting all day for a response x 5 = 1 week#calling the front desk repeatedly eventually gets me connected with someone actually helpful but it takes days usually#the portal summons this woman who does usually answer but is often utterly unhelpful#i would jump clinics but this doctor is good and the nurse i usually see is good#and I CANNOT handle the hassle of getting set up in their system with the right name and pronouns#setting up a new portal#and disclosing that I have PTSD to even more people#I know I don't have to give details and I do not (I did have to call out a woman once for pressing for them inappropriately)#but I do need to let them know so they aren't surprised when I show up having a bad day#or tell them not to do a thing or that I won't do a thing#so they don't brush it off which is rude or try to pressure me which will eventually get them snapped at for what seems like no reason#they DESERVE to be warned so they don't perceive my behavior as targeted at them because that feels shitty to both of us#so yeah#i don't want to have that conversation again when I just had it in a very triggering way and will have to do that again very shortly#also where the fuck do i go when nobody at a good clinic is seeing new patients?
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Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'
#oc f/o#f/o art#fictional other#self shipping#self insert#oc#original character#they're patient with me#also I finally draw Hadri with a different form!#I want to do more with their shape shifting but I haven't made much that turns out well#small vent in tags upcoming if you don't want to read#Feeling bad about posting but I shouldn't just give up#In some way social media isn't for me because I take things too personally#but if I'm going to meet people I have some common ground with I don't know where else I'd look#common ground with something that means something to me#I want to meet people that don't suck to talk to#And actively have things they want to talk to me about that we're both interested in#Tired of being just ears.#I'm talking about my family here not anyone on the site btw#I just wish there were people who wanted to talk in the same way I want to talk#same level of energy I guess#Sorry to vent in silly drawings but it is what it is#Fun fact if you read this far...Hadri would like Evangelion#I don't know why that came to mind today but it makes total sense#They're a deity-like person so religion is interesting and they'd be drawn in by the drama#I honestly don't know how they'd examine media since their setting is basically medieval so Hadri's never really watched anything#Maybe a play?#I'd be nice to know what Hadri would think of things I like#But my tastes are very colorful... watched Ind/go Park for example and have it stuck in my head now#Popp/ playtime and Ind/go Park seem to both be going for fnaf Portal and I am feeling something
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I know this one guy who enjoys doing this singular menial labor task when they can set their own hours, only work to their personal standard, focus only on the aspects of the work they personally find fulfilling, only do the work either by themselves or exclusively with their close personal friends, only share the benefits of that work with either themselves or the people they personally care about, and quit whenever they stop enjoying it. This means that if we get rid of capitalism everyone would just sorta be cool about it and work the lithium mines.
#just summarized this hour and a half anti-work video essay i almost got sucked into for you you're welcome#also feel the need to clarify this isn't about the election this is just me being parasocial and sub-tweeting a 5k andy youtuber#their big end point was well i do work to care for people i love what if we got rid of work and just did things for people we love#and extended the definition of 'people we love' to the entire-wire-world#and its like lady i hate to break it to you#but anyone who would say that has never had to participate in or witness the soul-crushing work of having to care for a loved one#if you think the guilt of being kinda shit at your make-work corporate daycare job is bad#wait until you have to choose between a mental breakdown and your dementia-riddled mother eating tonight#and also#at a certain point a civilization needs a means of compelling people to do work they don't want to do#historically that means was widespread and brutal violence#the miracle of capitalism is that now we use money instead#put another way#you can find guys out there who genuinely like working waste management#there's not enough of them to deal with everybody's shit#idk i understand the complaints of the anti work crowd its just that their solutions are so fucking stupid
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