#and it sucks
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Durge's sudden "normality" after having Bhaal removed does tend to get a raised eyebrow from me. Even with the partial amnesia alleviating some of the trauma, you don't recover from shit like that so quickly. The existential dread of religious trauma in particular tends to really stick.
#And there is so much in there#Parental abuse -- physical - emotional#some implied SA#the conditioning#the codependency#all of this sticks - even if you tear the supernatural parts out in a deus ex machina or something#and it sucks#...I am probably going to delete this#/durge#babbling
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ok but where are the dudes at who say they love plus size women and actually mean that shit
#because I stg people say that shit all the time because it’s trendy but don’t actually mean it#and it sucks
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I’m hoping (I’m praying) that once the insecurities society has created for people—mainly women— becomes too much, the world will kind of reset and we’ll realize this is ridiculous and stop caring so much about appearance.
#like I hope the day will come that we all realize this is silly and it’s all bullshit and we just stop caring#and certain people need to stop influencing these insecurities because we just gained like 20 more in a span of 3 weeks#while I don’t think insecurities should even be a thing#they were more normal ones at first#but now it’s this ridiculously high standard that no one fucking fits#and the worst part is that if you don’t fit it you’re not even treated with basic human decency#if you’re not physically attractive people treat you like this object with no value#and it sucks#appearance should not matter this much#anyways#I had the urge to make this post bc I am so done with being told about some flaw somebody made up#maybe if we get lucky we can get men to stop ranking and rating girls based on how they look#body positive#I hope this reaches someone#insecurities#social media was our downfall#mysoginy#beauty standards#pretty privilege should not be a thing but it unfortunately s#pretty privilege#pjo#kotlc#fandoms#girlhood#but the downside of it#I should not be scared to eat and I’m tired of being so scared of gaining weight
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DWC Nov 2024 Day 1 - Haze
The night had come quickly, all the busy sounds of the day falling quiet within the household, leaving but the haunting creaks and moans of the home's bones and the crackling of the fires within the fireplaces. As often she did, Cordelia had taken to her reading room, steam rising from her brewing tea with book in hand as she found herself deep in the throes of the written pages. That was until the soft sound of footsteps could be heard behind the closed door before it was followed the gentle sound of rustling. "I know you are out there, I can hear you." She called out sternly but not in a demanding tone as her book was closed and set aside. "Come inside." Taking up her dress, as she had not yet readied for bed, she turned to greet her visitor, no smile but somehow her features still held a softness to them. As she came closer, the small figure meeting her by the nearby sofa, she lowered herself to be more on his level. "Now, tell me, why are you up at this hour? Your father would be quite displeased should he find out you're not in your bed, dear one." The young boy with dark brown hair and blueish gray hues gazed at her sleepily. "I couldn't sleep, the wind is loud and I hoped you could tell me a story." His sheepish tone brought a flicker of a smile to Cordelia's feature as she reached out to cup her son's cheek before nodding and reaching for his hand. "Let's go find your father, we can have some milk and honey and snuggle up in bed together."
Lids fluttered as Cordelia was pulled from her sleep by the shifting form at her side. She hadn't needed to glance over to confirm it was Ricard but for some reason she always felt the desire to. A hand moved to trail over his arm briefly before she turned to roll over to the opposite side, swinging her legs over and sitting up with a quiet sigh. With every attempt to not wake him, she crossed over to the window, a single finger slipping behind the darkened curtains to allow vantage for her to gaze outside. The cold early morning still held a snowy haze over the surrounding of Ishgard, the time feeling later than it truly was as the sun struggling to peak beyond the snow clouds.
It had been a few weeks since Valeria's passing, she had not heard from Vahalia despite her attempt to leave some sort of comfort and even though through her talks with Ricard that she should try harder to reach out to her, Cordelia found herself struggling to do so. What would she say? What could she say, really? None of it truly mattered as she stood silently dissociating out the glass panes, an emotion rising in her chest that she had never experienced much before. She missed her sister, missed her niece and nephew. She missed someone and as she continued to shake away the dream from moments prior, she realized her conversations had been true. Cordelia would make it a point to pen her another letter once the household was awake for the day and she made it to her study.
Cecily had continued to prove to be a thorn in their sides, playing her angle of the game tried and true and entirely resolute. It was still not yet time for Cordelia to make her entrance on the chess board in that regard, Delwyn still had plenty of work to do while she and Ricard did their best on the back end while ensuring the Grays did not catch on that they knew of their plans.
Stress, more stress. That's all this was. Intriguing stress, but it was all the same nonetheless. Ricard's emotion fueled conversations with her seemed to have planted a seed, one she had no intentions of feeding but it seemed her subconscious had other ideas. He had been affected by the events of the past month and she understood why and how it shaped his outlook on things. She also knew the expectations of her for the future, with Ricard or otherwise but right now was not the time to see them through, it could not be. She needed to reconnect with Vahalia, deal with Cecily and her siblings, and get through Starlight, then they could move forward in some direction.
She glanced over at the man sleeping in her bed, the sound of him stirring likely to feeling her absence distracting her from her thoughts briefly. They had time, even though time felt fleeting for them both. She didn't want this yet, or so she continued to try to convince herself despite how she felt herself smile upon seeing him roll over toward her and beckon her back to bed.
Reconnect with Vahalia.
Deal with Cecily.
Get through Starlight.
@daily-writing-challenge
[ @vahalia-cress @ricard-blythe-ffxiv for mentions]
#dwc2024#dwc november2024#This was rushed#and it sucks#« careless whispers on porcelain »#/ eros in black and white
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A bit of a random tangent, but since I had someone bring up recently in replies something on how I draw bellies, I just wanted to get a bit of a personal thought here
I think one thing people really don't get about anatomy (probably because of over-exposure to media that just refuses to acknowledge bellies existing at all on rail-thin ladies) is that people have bellies. Most people do. It's not even a sign of fatness. It's just a part of a lot of people's anatomy. Like, sure: You can get flat stomachs every now and then. Some people may naturally be more prone to them, and some people do specific training routines just to get that look, but the grand majority of people don't.
I've been underweight most of my life (I'm in a much healthier point now!), but I sat under 90lbs (I'm 5'4'') (40kg/162cm for the metric squad) most of my life. And I had a belly. Like- I don't feel comfortable sharing pictures of myself, but at that weight, I really stood out as unhealthily thin in photos. I would get told that by friends, constantly. People would worry I had some eating disorder. I didn't- I'm just the kind of person who doesn't eat much when anxious, but it was never a self image thing or anything, but it was still a huge deal.
But I had a belly. You could easily see the ribs on my torso, bones poking from pretty much everywhere, and while- Sure, I could easily suck it in or cover it with clothes, I still naturally had a belly. Because that's what happens, because there's organs there, because you get plump when you're on your period (for those who do), or literally just because it's there.
When I decide to give a character a belly it isn't even just about "I like to draw bigger bodytypes", because a lot of these people are fairly average in weight. It's a matter of "hey, this is a part of someone's anatomy". I remember having someone cause a fuss on a reddit post on how I drew someone's belly- He insisted that bellies Only Look Like That if you're "either been pregnant or heavily overweight but lost a lot of fat", and I was losing my mind because no, that was referenced on how my belly looked when I wasn't even average weight. But when you start expecting the average woman to look like whatever is going on at league of legends, well.
Anyhow, yeah. This isn't much of a post other than a reminder about how bellies exist, and they do even on underweight people. there's insane expectations on how the body looks (specially for women), and people end up forgetting what does a real body look like.
#fatphobia#i dont think that's exactly the word given how this is about my experiences from back when i was underweight#but the fact people refuse to acknowledge that bellies are a thing does def stem from fatphobia#and it sucks
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snippet sunday 🍇
i got very sad after i shared my snippet for fuck it friday so i deleted it but i'm fine now, lmao, and anyway, have a lil-big snippet of a holiday fic i'm working on <3
“So, you’re telling me,” Ravi starts in, all wide-eyed and giggly like he’s been given a secret he can’t wait to share, “that you’ve never kissed anyone under a mistletoe? Ever?” Eddie shakes his head. “Nope,” he replies, shrugs, and adds a few extra spoonfuls of sugar to Buck’s coffee before sliding it his way. “Sorry, pal. It’s kind of hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it’s eighty degrees in December.” “It gets colder than that,” Buck says, frowning. He pulls the stool out next to him, patting the seat as an invitation. “Texas?” “Mhm.” Eddie sits next to Buck and leans back, sipping his coffee. “My parents never really bought into the overproduction of the holiday season, and Shannon and I couldn’t afford to buy decorations for the house we were renting. I wasn’t there most of the time, anyway.” Shannon decorated as much as she could, borrowing things from her mother and Eddie’s abuelo. It was more for Christopher than her; she always preferred Halloween to Christmas, and Eddie only grew to enjoy the holidays when he was there to witness his son breaking into his presents for the first time after Shannon left. After, putting up mistletoes was never a priority because he had nobody to kiss. Christopher learned to cut out snowflakes with construction paper and craft scissors, and Eddie hung dozens up all around the tiny house wherever his son pointed. Along with ten strands of multicolored lights and a cheap tree from a secondhand store, the house looked straight out of a Hallmark movie. The Christmas before Shannon died—hilariously, the only Christmas the two of them spent together with their son—was more for her and Christopher than Eddie. Kissing Shannon under a mistletoe was the last thing on his mind. “That’s sad, man.” Eddie hums. “It’s fine. I didn’t missing out on anything special or formative.” He sprawls out, knocking his knee into Buck’s beneath the island to grab his attention. “Besides, aren’t mistletoes poisonous?”
tagged by @daffi-990, @wikiangela, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @disasterbuckdiaz, @monsterrae1, and @exhuastedpigeon 🫶🏼
tagging @callmenewbie, @jeeyuns, @spagheddiediaz, @wildlife4life, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, @watchyourbuck, @evanbegins, @try-set-me-on-fire, @devirnis, @fortheloveofbuddie, @giddyupbuck, @ladydorian05, and @loserdiaz if any of you wanna share today 💖
#sometimes a bad brain day will sneak up on you and you just gotta let it happen#and it sucks#but it’s gotta happen 😪🤧#anyway#i love writing loser eddie who’s head over heels for buck but won’t say anything because he’s a weirdo#(he’s actually valid for it)#and thus this mess came about#let’s thank bones and booth 🫡#anyway look for it in december 🫶🏼#tag games
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me when you have to do art to be good at doing art
#I’m part rusty and larger part better at evaluating art than making it rn#and it SUCKS#idk maybe later I’ll like. draw along to a drawfee or something so I can’t get in my head abt it#bc I think a lot of their stuff is great for that like. okay Here’s a prompt. go wild.#rather than getting stuck in ‘what do I draw’ starting something and hating it. a bit outside the comfort zone yknow
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𝙁𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙣 𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡. || 𝘾𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙨 𝙋𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣.
for @that-one-pretty-bitch as a part of my event. thank you so much for being a constant inspiration baby, ily <3
‼️ cassis in this is after chapter 36. because of this, he's more eerie and.. ah, unsettling, than his season 1 character. ‼️
yes i'm actually doing a non flower related title, can you believe it?? anyways enjoy 💞
— rose.
back to event masterlist!
affection — how do they show their love and affection?
cassis shows his affection through quality time or acts of service. invites you over for tea, offers to help you with your work, makes time to tell you old stories about his family. you take his monopolizing nature at surface level; brushing it off as light possessiveness. nothing more.
well, you got one part right. it's nothing less than possession.
blood — how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
cassis tries to avoid killing; he's not very bloodthirsty and prefers to solve the problem through talking. however, if there is any sort of physical threat to you, he's not opposed to snapping a few necks.
cruelty — how would they treat their darling once abducted?
he's not cruel! ...most of the times. he's kind towards you but is so fast to turn on you that it leaves your head spinning. demands the knights who are stalking you, at sword-point, to tell him about every little thing you did in your day, from what you ate to who you talked to.
the thing is, you can't even remember the last time cassis allowed you to interact with anyone who wasn't him or your handmaidens.
darling — aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
no. he doesn't like seeing you cry and sob hysterically so he'd rather not. as for sex, that can wait. he doesn't want to shatter you completely, so it's better if you want him to before he tries to get you in the sheets.
exposed — how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
you thought dion felt vulnerable? with cassis, it's like a constant wound, always bleeding, the blood dissolving the bandages so that he never quite stops worrying about you. something as simple as coming late to bed and his mind is already conjuring up horrible scenarios of you being snatched away by the agriche and —
very, very, very vulnerable. he's not this vulnerable with anyone else and even tries to hide it from you — vulnerability is a new thing for his proud, haughty spirit.
fight — how would they feel if their darling fought back?
hurt. because when you fight, he ends up having to force you, which inevitably ends in tears and broken bones. he doesn't want to hurt you! just obey, just listen to him and do as he says, don't resist as he hugs you close or grabs your wrist so tight that you have to beg him to let you go because he got too jealous and —
if, just if, you manage to appease his jealousy, you'll be fine.
game — is this a game to them? how much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
it annoys him. he barely gets to see you because of how busy he is, and when he does get to see you, you scream and thrash around and make ridiculous attempts to escape. it's tiresome and he will shut these escape attempts down faster than dion killed ashil.
hell — what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
you once made a very bad deal with one of your handmaidens once in a desperate bid of freedom. not only did cassis catch you, he decapitated her on the spot, rubbing in the fact that it was your fault. and even that wasn't all — cassis kept you captive to his bed with a chain just long enough to give you access to the bathroom.
you can't remember the last time you moved on your own.
ideals — what kind of future do they have in mind for their darling?
cassis wants to marry you. he's always been the romanticist type of guy, and there's something so.. heavenly about marrying you — this way, he'll get to bind you to him forever through the marital vows.
and unlike callisto, who gives you a choice, cassis will marry you regardless. the most he'll do is postpone it.
jealousy — do they get jealous? how do they handle it?
he feels jealous, of course, yet he's not going to act on it in public. the minute he gets an opening, he steers you away, his grip unyielding on your shoulders, offering a tight smile to the person causing his jealousy. handles it by isolating you more than ever, spending most of his time with you, just to convince himself further that you're here and you're not ever leaving.
kisses — how do they act around or with their darling?
obsessive. he adores you. kisses you until you're breathless, wraps his coats around you, never lets one moment in your rather unwilling company pass without reminding you of just how much he loves you.
you'd really rather he didn't.
love letters — how would they go about approaching their darling?
like a picture perfect gentleman. asks if he can greet you, dances with you at every party, his touches on your waist featherlight. once you agree to let him court you, he's ecstatic, spoiling you with everything and anything you ever dreamed of, wrapping his arms around you, as though unable to believe just how he got so lucky. (author: cassis, if you hurt jacqueline, i — and a whole cult — will murder you.)
mask — are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
well, nobody would ever guess this side of the heir of pedelian, right? that he locked you up against your will and ignored your sobbing as he explained your situation? that he has spies all around to make sure you don't lift a finger the wrong way? that he holds you close, turning a deaf ear to your quiet crying?
why would anyone suspect that?
naughty — how would they punish their darling?
small things, but long punishments. his favorite one is isolation. he'll give you the cold shoulder for as long as it takes for you to come back — and you will. you can only spend so long, completely alone, before losing your will to fight, right? and you're always so sweet about it too — lifting up the covers to his bed, placing yourself beside him, tapping him on the shoulder with a pretty, careful finger, letting him welcome you back with open arms.
oppression — how many rights would they take away from their darling?
at first, he's very open with it — he lets you roam the gardens with your maids and very, very, very rarely (infact, it only happened once) lets you go to town — in disguise and with him, of course. but eventually his jealousy might take hold of him, or some kind of threat would be detected towards you, which, of course, would make him paranoid. then you're lucky if he allows you to leave the bedroom.
patience — how patient are they with their darling?
up to a certain extent, cassis is patient. he's fine if you struggle and thrash about and cry and scream — these are fruitless efforts and he can crush them easily, but words — if you say anything, whether it's pitying or mocking, that makes his heart twist in on itself with that horrible empty feeling —
do that and he'll give you a real reason to cry.
quiet — if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
no. he quite possibly will never enter into a relationship ever again, completely complacent, absolutely hollow. if you managed to escape or leave, and he couldn't find you, he'll blame himself day and night, u able to get you out of his head even still. and if death was the one who came for you, he would just... yeah, he would never recover.
regret — would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling?
often — when you curl up and sob, nursing injuries or fighting nightmares — cassis feels an inexpressible urge to just hold you, to just stay there, until you stop weeping. he's no soft kind guy, but this — this hurts. just stop. just accept that this is now your life, and that it's not goingto change.
stigma — what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
harsh expectations and the agriche. he needs to protect you, to make sure you never, ever, ever go through what he did — ever again. blame the agriche if you want but they're honestly more amused than sympathetic 🫶 have fun babes
tears — how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
he feels terrible. don't you understand that it doesn't have to be like this? that there's no reason to cry? why are you so unwilling to stay with him, what can he not give you that everyone else can? he doesn't get it.
unique — would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
cassis would never steal your belongings or build some kind of creepy shrine or downright devote himself to you. it creeps him out to be honest — even his adoration doesn't fly to those particular levels. this might be due to what he saw of maria at his time with the agriche — and it honestly terrifies him to this day.
vice — what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
his love for you, obviously. sob and cry about how you need one particular thing, and watch him leave immediately to get it. you can seize the time to run!
i'm warning you though — he will find you.
wit’s end — would they ever hurt their darling?
not willingly. even though his punishments can be severe, they're very rarely physical, and never brutally damaging. after the agriche, he dislikes physical violence and tries to avoid it — only when it comes to you.
xoanon — how much would they revere their darling?
too much. there are times when he just looks at you — truly looks, as though just taking in the fact that you exist — and he feels his heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly. you're so perfectly beautiful with pretty eyes, and satin soft hair, and the tears running down your face — it's not art, but it feels divine , all the same.
yearn — how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
roughly 2 years. he steps up a year after meeting you and stars courting you normally — but this lasts only for another year. he gives in on you two's anniversary, knocking you out painlessly, already feeling regret and guilt sift and twinge in his gut.
“ ... i'm sorry. but i needed to do this. for you, it was all for you, it is all for you. ”
zenith — would they ever break their darling?
as much as he doesn't want to — yes. cassis is delusional and obsessive and manipulative and possessive — and he grows more and more demented than ever. he rarely lets you out of the shared bedroom, claiming that anywhere else is too dangerous. he doesn't let you shower on your own, and everytime you try to take one by yourself, he decides that perhaps it's time for a soak anyways. it hollows you out, reducing you to an empty shell of yourself, just lying there on the waves.
realization hits cassis fast and hard — when was the last time you tried escape? why does he want you to escape? the smile he loved so much is as good as dead because he's never ever gonna see it again.
you don't react when he buries his face in the crook of your neck and cries.
—
tagging ; @writerig, @loekas, @nxccolo, @ykassu, @dion-s-lawyer, @ithil-lucien, @that-one-pretty-bitch (obv, this is hers), @sidra-29, @hmerus, @cerisearan, @dxmoness, @chxrrylxdy, @d10nsaint, @meow-meow-potato, @parkykwho, @izumi-astra-123 and @palaceofghosts.
[ i didn't tag the mutuals who don't like yandere content (that's why @/crownxie isn't tagged) but i did tag those who are on hiatus rn since they tagged me when i was inactive and everyone else still does ]
i hate this! but! here you go, jacqueline!
—
#꒰ ☽︎ ꒱ — stars.#the way to protect the female lead's older brother#twtptflob cassis#cassis pedelian#yandere manhwa x reader#I'M FREE#OMFG. I DEVELOPED A FEVER BECAUSE I OVERWORKED MYSELF TRYING TO FINISH THIS#And now it's done#And it sucks#— queue.#im sleepy asf
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i can legit genuinely physically feel my brain rotting and becoming more rounder every time i open tiktok. that cursed app has nothing but random drama between total strangers on the internet i dont know of, oh look cool historical knowledge! to another ragebait that isnt a ragebait and has already crossed the line stuff. its an endless annoying cycle and even the edits arent catching my attention anymore. i wanna delete the app but gah some of the most quickest and brutal deliverance of news around the world exists there
#nobu.nobu.chat#by news i mean news regarding palestine and congo#the news on tv isnt talking a single shit abt palestine and congo#at least in my country#and it sucks
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>take bath
>get out of bath
>WHY AM I SO HEAVY
#i should be light. i should be floating in water or in the sky#but i feel the weight on my fuckin body#and gravity pushing me downwards#and it sucks#therian#leviathan#fishperson#fish person kin#winged kin#dragon#moekka
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btw aroaces. i want to assure you that you are not an annoying stereotype. you are valid and deserve respect and representation just as much as any other aspec identity.
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#been seeing a lot of hate for the aroaces from both a/lloaros and a/lloaces#and it sucks#aspecs stop shit talking other aspecs challenge
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Hey, you there, lovely person
Do you remember when you got your first job? Probably somewhere horrible like a McDonald's or Walmart? Yeah, well I'm headed in that direction, and I'm not too comfortable with it. You see, I've got the 'tism, and the (relatively) good kind, so I've got some fun talents. Said talent I want to use? ✨Art✨
How does this apply to the whole job thing? Well I want to use my talent rather than waste it in a Starby's or some shit
so I have
✨Commissions Open✨
and I would really appreciate your support
My full gallery is here -> https://verdaneart.carrd.co/
Prices range anywhere from 5-40 USD, and are always flexible for whatever's needed, whether it's a kitten about to commit a war crime or a pretty dragon
(man displaying pics on Tumblr sucks)
If you can't get a commission yourself, even just referring me to a friend, reblogging this, or just wishing me luck is still greatly appreciated in this capitalism hellscape.
Ok thanks a bunch for taking a peek, have a good rest of your day :3
#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#furry#flight rising#animals#artist comissions#commissions#commission#art commisions#commisions open#fr commission#furry art#sfw furry#furry fandom#furry commissions#please I need funds for silly hobbies#and to prove my worth to my parents#because they don't seem to be that proud of me#and it sucks#I work really hard#ok thanks
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Whumpee with multiple conditions, not being able to take medication for x condition because it makes the symptoms of y condition that much worse
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tumblr we have GOT to talk about your new insane post boosting for ads, bc I know you did it to watcher for one of their posts without their knowledge, and I suspect that's why I'm seeing the "it gets better" oneEvery Other Goddamn Post on my dash, and I can't actually imagine anyone wants this, because truly the only thing that constantly bombarding people with the same ad generates is animosity, which is bad for you, the platform, and bad for the poor saps you're throwing to the wolves with this
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Getting older means doing PT on your office floor between work meetings
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