#Tired of being just ears.
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Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'
#oc f/o#f/o art#fictional other#self shipping#self insert#oc#original character#they're patient with me#also I finally draw Hadri with a different form!#I want to do more with their shape shifting but I haven't made much that turns out well#small vent in tags upcoming if you don't want to read#Feeling bad about posting but I shouldn't just give up#In some way social media isn't for me because I take things too personally#but if I'm going to meet people I have some common ground with I don't know where else I'd look#common ground with something that means something to me#I want to meet people that don't suck to talk to#And actively have things they want to talk to me about that we're both interested in#Tired of being just ears.#I'm talking about my family here not anyone on the site btw#I just wish there were people who wanted to talk in the same way I want to talk#same level of energy I guess#Sorry to vent in silly drawings but it is what it is#Fun fact if you read this far...Hadri would like Evangelion#I don't know why that came to mind today but it makes total sense#They're a deity-like person so religion is interesting and they'd be drawn in by the drama#I honestly don't know how they'd examine media since their setting is basically medieval so Hadri's never really watched anything#Maybe a play?#I'd be nice to know what Hadri would think of things I like#But my tastes are very colorful... watched Ind/go Park for example and have it stuck in my head now#Popp/ playtime and Ind/go Park seem to both be going for fnaf Portal and I am feeling something
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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Started reading Sunbreak by LadyGreenFrisbee and this is all I could see
Also if you haven't, please check it out on Ao3, it's so good RAHHH!!
#Macaque being a dad was everything to me#hes just a tired papa let him rest omg#lego monkie kid#lego monkey kid fanart#lmk#monkie kid#macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk macaque#Sunbreak#Ao3 fanfic#fanfic#art#baby monkey
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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#me whispering into lu guangs ear: arent you tired of being nice? dont you just want to go apeshit?#link click#sgdlr#shiguang dailiren#link click fanart#sgdlr fanart#lu guang#fanart#my art#art#illustration#artists in tumblr#digital art#drawing
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New pathfinder character, Ter-Gox the (future) wrestling pit star!
#artists on tumblr#acrylic markers#pathfinder#ttrpg#ttrpg art#orc#half orc#barbarian#his story is that he grew up in a travelling show where one of the acts was a wrestling competition#he got tired of being typecasted as the heel just because hes a half orc#and because of that one time he got to angry and bit someones ear off. but that was only one time!#so hes off to get stronger and become the star he knows hes destined to be!#yessi draws#so happy to be playing again lol
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I wish my sister would stop making fun of my music taste :[
"your music taste is so basic"
"this song sucks/this is boring"
"ofc you would like this song"(/neg)
"why do you like *genre/general songs* they're not even good"
"hmm I think this is one of *music artist*'s more weaker songs"
"turn this trash off oh my god I'm tired of it"
GIRL. just let me listen to songs I like in peace. I don't talk about your music taste!! I never judge you for what you listen to and I never tell you your music taste is bad. So why do you keep treating my music taste as inferior??
It's just.frustrating. It's gotten to the point where I don't wanna listen to songs I like near her anymore. Anytime I hear her coming upstairs or I feel like she's going to come in the room, I immediately stop the music I'm listening to because I know once she hears it she'll start saying a buncha negative stuff about it. LIKE BESTIE. IT'S NOT THAT DEEP IT'S A THREE MINUTE SOUNDWAVE. JUST LET ME ENJOY IT :(
#I literally can't listen to my music whenever she's in the room#and I KNOW. I should just ignore her#but it's just tiring. I don't feel like hearing ittt#how the hell am I supposed to enjoy my favorite songs when someone is constantly in my ear nitpicking every little thing about them??#so I'm willing to wait until she goes to sleep so I can listen to my music in PEACE#thank god she's a heavy sleeper :p#and she keeps being all like “you're still into vocaloid and love live? I got out of those when I was like 12 wtf” HOW ABT YOU STFU#and she's constantly shitting on im@s songs I listen to IT'S SO TIRING GGGGG BLAHBLAHBLAH I GET YOU THINK THEY'RE BORING BUT JEEZUS#I DON'T TALK BAD ABT THE SONGS FROM MUSICALS YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO SO WHY.WHY DO I HAVE TO GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK RAAAGASDHFHDAB#aaaa sorry sorry I'm just#asdbfhbdashfsdaj#vent#<- kindaaa I guess? I was thinking of tagging this as complaining hours but I think it's a little too ranty of a post to tag it as that
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im a fan? fan behavior? hell yeah. hell yeah i am
#or maybe i just genuinely enjoy this litte thing. what abt that?#wdym im meat riding cause i expressed an interest in smth???#im over here trying to express my interests n im being told that im “dick riding like crazy”??? for liking music???#yk what id rather ride her nonexistent one than yours actlly. id pick hers over urs ANY DAY#“the dick riding craaazy” gtfo noone was tlking to u at all learn to mind ur business. not everything ur big ahh ears pick up is ur busines#srry that last comment's diabolical im js tired the guy like who r u?? u aint all that but mayb u r the bag of chips with them pringle ears#im sorry im feeling hateful i need to put down the phone now
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i think instead of stealing chunks of my uterus they added new nerve endings all over my body and then directly injected infection to my veins
#IM BEING DRAMATIC#im just in so much pain and want to cry very much but I'm being so brave and going to the doctor and taking off work#and actually taking care of myself bc this is too much#though I'm extremely frustrated bc I'm literally trying to get this hysto to STOP being in 24/7 pain and at the first step my body loses it#shit. i can't even keep my jaw aligned rn from how swollen my chin face ear region is#im so tired. and I'm gonna be so wiped when j get back to work and expected to just jump back in#oughghghhgh#this isn't even the hysto this is the stupid hoops I'm being forced through first
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anytime i do a discord call i start the convo talking completely normally but i know i like my friends if by the two hour mark i've started rocking back and forth and speaking in pictures
#realizing now this is why i like sharing my screen so much#my brain is a search engine. this is the closest we'll get to me plugging the hdmi cable into the slot under my ear#this seems to be why i get so incomprehensible after ive been streaming for a sec. i'm not at all tired. there's just -#no filter on the words part to force me to filter the rest of my behavior#i start doing the bit where i stop a sentence in a place that makes grammatical sense but the intonation makes it feel Bad#leaning into the monotone and leaning into being Fucking Weird And Kinda Creepy
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hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead
#wish i had my support network but what with all my friends being so busy#with school work engagements marriage pregnancies housing issues#and my priests both up to their ears in work and all my older sister figures#having issues and more important things to deal with and my family being one of the sources of high stress#i dont have anyone to talk to or go to at the moment#so i need to figure that out before i have another health crisis because my body's starting to give up on me#(again)#on top of that there needs to be planning in place for the summer and next fall and graduation#i just want to stick my head in the ground like an ostrich and stay there!!!! instead of wading through this mess during midterm season#and having to start finals the WEEK after midterms end#complaining again sorry#i am so tired and trying to be cheerful/distracting myself only lasts a few hours#im trying. i promise im trying. but the world seems rather bleak right now#and it is very hard not to feel so very alone#anyway i love you all and i'll see you soon
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i do rly love dungeon meshi so far and i do see that the mangaka is trying to rehabilitate the dnd tropes and make them more thoughtful and less racist and this is not so much a judgement, more an observation, but the dnd tropes originally are so racist that i kinda wish that the mangaka was completely inventing her own worldbuilding instead of building off of them. like maybe at some point we should as a society move away from and throw away dnd tropes in the trashcan where they belong, just a thought you know.
#the fact that many fantasy based stuff builds off of dnd tropes without doing much is not great#do we need to keep concept of races in fantasy? can we just not be like these people have long ears because of the climate and food etc#and same for orcs could be like they live in the mountains and are rugged and all#it just makes me so uncomfortable bcz there's all these inbuilt assumptions about orcs and elves etc that viewers will bring with them#most of the orcs in dunmeshi so far are darkskinned and it seems like a holdover from dnd which is obv visibly borrowed from tolkien#they tried to explain in the anime how orcs had no choice but to loot and plunder but still it just feels unsatisfactory#also the creepy af elf being dark skinned like hmmm darkskinned elves being evil is also a trope from dnd#tbf i still need to read the manga so maybe the elf thing is explained there#i am currently only watching the anime#but yeah this is 2k24 can we pls not do race science in the background of any fantasy adventure i am le tired
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help I was sitting at the beach and this campervan has just pulled up beside me which is fine, normal, I live on a popular road trip route. But the people that have come out of it are an two men but clearly with a father and son dynamic. The younger one (mid fourties’?) has this long, dark curly hair that’s tied up and the older guy is grey haired with a bit of a beard. The younger guy is in all black, skull on the back of his hoodie, big silver rings, hoops in his ears and stompy boots. The other guy has a flannel shirt, brown cap, cargo trousers and just casual older guy demeanour.
Just…they look like a glimpse of what a wayne and Eddie road trip could look like. They are sitting by the sea and eating their lunch and it’s mostly silent but then they’ll laugh at each other. Wholesome.
#me trying to scratch my face in a way that shows my skull rings in an effort to say ‘me too!’#I promise I’m not being a creep. I’m not listening to them. it’s just very sweet to see#and they have an international number plate so they’ve been on the road at least five days to get up here#idk man it’s just nice to get a glimpse of nice dynamics at all stages of life#I’m being a knob sowwy#the older guying is now trying to feed the birds so he can get a photo :(#they’ve gone for a smoke :((( long hair has painted black nails :(((( older has earring hoops too :((( and is getting long hair to#do something on his phone for him :((((#this was from yesterday when I was too tired to post sowwy I’m still posting it
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i miss how i felt before this year.
#i always felt like shit before august but not like this much. im so tired of being chronically dizzy .it feelsl ike my brain is melting.#im constantly dizzy and my eyes cant focus my head and eyes dont feel centered#despite cuting out alot of things its not going away. i cant focus anymore. all i can do is lie down for somewhat relief.#i miss being able to focus on anything at all. and just to exist. even if i felt mentally like shit.#id give anything to feel normal i really would. i just wanna feel better. im not saying no to the doctor. i WANT to#but thers so much sickness risk. thats hteo nly thing stopping me from going. otherwise id go to the doc for every ailment#i need an MRI scan badly to check what hapened back in august. i need a scan for seizures aswell and a heart monitor.#i also need updated labwork for blood and everything. but these things are out of reach unless i go to a reg doctor.#and that exposes me and i cant stand it. last time someone actively had norovirus in the next room over and that same doctor#came up to me like nothing and confirmed it with me. didnt even wash her fucking hands. i was inconsolable and traumatized further.#i dont wanna be around anyone. i wish things were easier for me i wanna go to the doctor. i feel id rather die instead. i cant take this.#i would even take an EAR INFECTION which has deafened me over feeling like this. im not even kidding.#health issues /#venting in tags /#vent art /#vent doodles /#self scribbles -#cicidraws#deleting later- - //#im convinced i had a small stroke back in august and i havent been the same since. now i cant take aspirin. every time i do it worsens dizz#dizziness. i started feeling a little better at one point and took it and it restarted my dizziness again. im sure i have something going o#my anxiety because of feeling this way has been thru the roof and has not stopped being thru the roof. its so hard to calm down.
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👁-👁
So. Uh
Seems like y'all really enjoyed that post 🙃
#Needless to say that is far beyond any expectations i mightve had#i thought like. maybe 200#and then-#i am truly just. blindsided#i can only assume its bc it has a wide appeal#funny pun and pretty generic danny (no pointed ears/fangs/blue skin)#i do really like how the art turned out and I am very happy when I open the app the 99+ notifs#it just made it painfully obvious how i havent drawn DP in a while#but idk if its enough the get me back into DP. im still pretty tired of DP and i dont have any more funny snappy ideas like this one was#i think im content with it being a one hit wonder :)#(i say that now but we shall Very Much see lmao)
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