kpmeat

[kpmeat]

Ok I never did one of these before and I'm worried it will flood my notes but I have an Hypothesis, so, For Science: are you an eldest, middle, youngest or only child, and how many pillows do you sleep with?

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gripping my gideon bible hey God if you really made me to be an atheist then why do i still think of the world in terms of Us vs the Secularists

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my childhood was weird and the churches i went to are generally considered insane fringe beliefs and i can't see myself ever feeling part of a mainstream religion again etc anyway my therapist described me as having "Religious Trauma" which is wild like where would he get that idea

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This is so fucking funny

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doing my silly little solstice thing enjoying my silly little secular paganism

i set out an altar on the bathroom windowsill with the tile i use for candles, and some candles.

tall glass one in the middle (the present moment)

the two leftover collapsed candles from the previous rituals moved to the left (the past, and futures that never came to be)

one fresh taper candle (the future)

and one unlit fresh taper candle lying on the windowsill in front of the whole thing (the distant future).

on the left, representing the past -

shot glass filled to the brim grape juice. it's the shot glass i got in vegas also, lol. i used this to kill the matches i used to light the candles; needed to make it undrinkable.

small electronics tool kit. old tools often too small for all the jobs i needed them to do. i'll keep them as part of a bigger set.

cactus in a mug. prickly thing in a container that wasn't built for it, stubbornly surviving but unable to do more than that in its current state.

lock of my hair that won't get washed w the rest. i think a lot about how drugs are detectable in hair and how i haven't gotten it cut since before i started binge drinking regularly. you could track my my whole recovery in layers, like rock.

i cut my hair ties out. small sacrifice, and also they got tangled. lol.

in the middle, representing the present moment -

the lid of a pomade tin that i use to burn incense cones in. i put a skull bracelet around it. idk, death or something. centered it because the symmetry makes my brain happy. the incense was left by my roommate; friendship is good, that's something i learned this year that i'm taking into the next. even in my rituals i want to remember there are other people.

reddy kilowatt. i kept him on my shirt until i took it off, then put him in the tin with the incense.

two lighters: the red one my roommate left, the hot pink one i have.

the light socket i usually use to burn incense sticks, but i don't trust it with the cones so it's there for vibes.

on the right, for the future

a mug of grape juice, half full. this is something my mom gave me a billion years ago that i've repurposed for something more meaningful. when i got in the shower i took a sip and then dumped the whole thing over my head, which was fucking cold. there's also a communion significance w/ the grape juice, since that's all my churches ever used, except now it's like i'm washing jesus' blood off of me. it also forced me to thoroughly wash my hair like i'd wanted to.

screwdriver my roommate's mom gave me. a new, larger tool, meant for bigger things i've yet to get to.

empty pot of dirt i planted pepper seeds in a while ago. ideas of the future not yet set into motion. potential within a structure i've set up for myself, even if in the last couple weeks i've neglected the seeds themselves. (i was sick! i forgot to water the seeds! might need to replant now.) and anyway it's winter, i'm not sure how they'll take the limited sunlight. openness to all possibilities with the confidence to repurpose the structure for other things if needed.

tape measure oriented so it's measuring the distance from the past to the present. i know where i've come from, i'll figure out where i'm going. i'm thinking of this visually like it's me holding the tape measure and walking backwards from where the end of it is held firmly in the past, watching it get smaller as the numbers in my hand tick upward.

what did i do

lit the candle for the future and used it to light the candle for the present. set both down on the altar. the matches i dropped into the shot glass.

started the water, turned out the lights and undressed. i put reddy kilowatt in the dish w the incense. lit the incense.

i think this is the point where i cut some of my hair off w a hunting knife and left it on the left side. this hurt more than i thought it would and my hair is denser than i thought. they should use me to make paint brushes.

in the shower, i dumped the grape juice over myself, then washed my hair with more shampoo than ive ever used. fuck my hair got long. washed my face + body + hair a billion times, then conditioned.

over time the bathroom got really misty and smoky and i got light headed. since it was dark and i'm tired i fell asleep a little.

after the shower i changed into normal clothes and went about things as normal. i'm letting my hair drip dry.

ill probably do a playing card / cards against humanity reading tn for fun

\o/ happy solstice

[kpmeat]

everythings changing.. but so am i!

[kpmeat]

Late Night Snow - Jeremy Miranda , 2024.

American , b. 1980 -

Acrylic on board , 10 x 12 in.

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what if john hancock miku binder

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i gotta get through my Steam backlog so badddd

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on the subject of 2024 memes I've somehow successfully made it almost all the way to the end of the year without at any point learning what kind of meme hawk tuah is. I have exclusively seen people making ironic jokes one or two degrees removed from it but I have literally no idea what the referent of these jokes is. is it a viral video? a reaction image? a song? a tiktok challenge? the act of cyberbullying a specific person? it's impossible to say, and I do not care to find out.

[kpmeat]

Untitled (The Human Skeleton), Ana Mendieta, 1972 & 1973

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hes taking notes on how gay you are

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*goes to egg your house but I find out you're vegan so I ¼ cup of unsweetened applesauce your house instead*

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Adoration, Emilian Lăzărescu, 1910.

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Joseph's brothers would have sold him to One Direction

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hey bro can i ask you a question that will reveal a deep and fundamental gap in my knowledge of the world