#I don't think they look scary
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herd-reject-arts · 1 year ago
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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
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Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"
It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
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Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
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ministarfruit · 9 months ago
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day 28: made you smile ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
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meatcatt · 9 months ago
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@skyistheground had an idea for an isa loop au and this is how I interpreted it
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fluentisonus · 4 months ago
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lazylittledragon · 5 months ago
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
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vectorisheree · 28 days ago
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It's my 18th birthday today!!! :DDDDDD
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 month ago
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silusvesuius · 7 months ago
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fly high
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sysig · 7 months ago
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An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)
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mewkwota · 3 months ago
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Trevor got a new-n-pretty outfit for Sypha, and it only cost his literal blood, sweat, and tears. I did make a few creative liberties on this iteration of Sypha's design since I want to keep her very snug-looking, so I made a lot of the parts to her dress longer and poofed up the sleeves just so they match her descendants. :D
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i3utterflyeffect · 3 months ago
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cursor selkie sc (due to some unlikely plot contrivance) in god with a bag of groceries au would be so funny...bystanders watching god pass by with a bag of groceries, followed by tiny god with a packet of cookies. adorable.
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ANON... YOUR MIND..........
#tommy's foolery#selkie sticks au#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#pitch's art#i can only imagine what bystanders must be thinking. just. big scary cursor followed by the littlest of guys#i imagine that knowledge that humans aren't just cursors isn't too common#(or at least not something the average stick who hasn't looked into would know)#so it's confusing but weirdly cute?#any stick who knows that humans aren't just cursors though would be like '??????????????? THE FUCK?!?'#i think they'd only visit the outernet if they had the CG with them tho#it's really funny to imagine the CG sneaking onto a computer in hopes of getting to a safe place‚ making friends with SC#and then refusing to leave when alan tries to shoo them out#sorry sir. your child adopted these random kids as their siblings#god. that only makes it funnier because chosen wouldn't see him in the outernet until he's already adopted everyone#chosen follows him to the desktop and a bunch of kids pop out and hug him#as well as this tiny little cursor who is just. munching(?) on a cookie#just. What The Fuck#furthermore when you ask them if he's been mean to them at all they go '? no he's our dad'#and the cursor proceeds to squeak in mortification (they can do that?) and grab whoever said that and begin (gently) shaking them#because DON'T CALL HIM THAT HE'S NOT YOUR DAD........ STOP THAT#the cg all think alan reacting like this is very funny even though chosen is extremely concerned#anyway SORRY this is just so funny to me. thank you anon for blasting me with this image
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zoynkzz · 2 years ago
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Was doodling and this happened! I really love the designs in @tangledinink 's Gemini AU. And the sorrywhatnow au. And their TMNT au... they make really cool designs in general, okay? Itches the brain.
Also, Leo's fighting style prioritizing protection? Chef's kiss. Disaster Twins content the beloved. Scrum-diddly-umptious.
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jeremy-lemon · 1 month ago
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just thinkin bout monsters
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stavr0no · 6 days ago
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dandy's world is rotting my brain this cult of the lamb drawing which is a reference to a nimona scene is my call for help
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hrodvitnon · 4 months ago
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SIGNALIS Big Teef Fic Preview!
Did anybody want a fic with the Big Teef? No? Well, too bad, you're getting one anyway. Have a taste!
---
"Hey, when were you going to tell me you have fangs?"
Elster pauses, having just gotten engrossed in a scene of tense questioning.  "Excuse me?"
Ariane sits beside her at the table, lays down the Replika overview, leans her elbows on it and rests her chin on folded hands, giving the Replika a look that to any Gestalt would be similar to a parent wanting to know why their kids didn't do what was asked of them – or rather, like she's taken on the role of detective in the midst of questioning.  Elster lifts her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.
Ariane elaborates as if telling an anecdote from her Rotfront years.  "I looked through the Replika overview again to see if there was anything I could pick up to help you out, or do something for you, when... in the corner of my little eye, I spy... a schematic.  A schematic, El Bell.  Of retractable canine teeth.  Which you are in possession of, and neglected to inform me."
Elster closes her eyes, knowing where this is going.
"Ariane."
"Now, I don't ask the time of day from a clock..."
"Liebchen."
"But I'm not shy about how hot I am for nibbles and love bites..."
"Light of my life."
"And you didn't think to tell me?  When were you going to tell me?"
"Settle down, dramatic.  They're for self-defense, not for sexy time.  Besides, it's not even unique to LSTRs – all Replikas have them."
Ariane blinks in surprise.  "Wait, seriously?  Even Eules?"  Having such teeth makes sense for a Storch or Star, but an Eule?
"Absolutely.  I once heard that a secretary unit back at headquarters almost bit the fingers off an untrained Storch who got too ugly with her.  Not sure how it ended, but I like to think Frau Beißer got off with a warning and the Storch never lived it down.  Self-defense, like I said.  With combat units it's a last resort in case one runs out of ammunition or doesn't have a melee weapon ready."
Ariane's eyes widen.  Eules always looked so delicate to her with how lightly they carried themselves, but it seems even those domestic units are made of sterner stuff than expected.  Her eyes lower to Elster's mouth.  Elster gives her a knowing look.
"No."
"I didn't say anything!"
"You have that 'in the interest of science' look on your face."
"I just want to see them for myself!  There's nothing wrong with that!  Show me, please?  It's not like I'll ever see them in a combat situation, unless we get picked up by aliens or something."
Elster stares.  Ariane stares back, pleading and doe-eyed, just seconds away from deploying the dreaded pouty bottom lip.  Elster gives in, of course.  She can never really refuse humoring her love, so she teasingly grouses like it's such a chore.
"Ach, fine."
Ariane tries not to drum her fingers happily while Elster pops the mandibles in her jaw, mouth opening.  Nothing out of the ordinary, just 28 white teeth – go figure Replikas aren't manufactured with wisdom teeth – and then Elster curls her lips back wolfishly, her canines extending with an audible click.
There is, of course, the knee-jerk flicker of saucy fascination since Ariane does so love when Elster bites her, but in the moment it's also tempered by actual scientific curiosity.  Elster's lengthened teeth are only sharp at the very tips, as Ariane knows from experience, so while they probably can pierce through flesh or biomechanical components they must be intended for crushing and tearing, clamping down and keeping a steady grip thanks to powerful jaws.
A rather specific detail from the Replika overview comes to mind: the LSTR unit has a bite force of 1250 PSI at minimum.  Ariane's heard of certain Vinetan animals having a comparable bite, capable of piercing through the skulls of their prey.  The knowledge of this results in a revelatory daydream of hostile alien forces intercepting their little ship and abducting Ariane, causing Elster to crush an extraterrestrial skull or spine between her teeth as she goes in a rampaging rescue...
"Ari," Elster drawls.  The extended fangs seem to mess with her speech, an added lisp causing her accent to border on nonsensical.  "Ye hab dat look."
Ariane shakes her head.  "I wasn't thinking of anything sexy this time, honest!"
"Uh-huh.  Cad I pud dese away now?  Iz hahd to talk."
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iraprince · 9 months ago
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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