#i imagine this happens at the end of act three after the king scene with bonnie

[meatcatt]

@skyistheground had an idea for an isa loop au and this is how I interpreted it

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to The Light's Chapter 440

Brief summary: Clopeh's group removes the bugging devices in their lodging. Lots of plotting.

==========

Today was similar to the last chapter. Nothing much happened except for a few funny scenes. There were some plotting from Cale's group, the GoC cult, and the Demon King's group, but it was not that important, so let's skip that.

Clopeh acted like Ron today, serving Cale cookies and lemonade! 😂 And Cale was completely fine with it. Heck, he was even happy to have Clopeh around. 😂

Cale: You're trying to get them to fight, aren't you? Clopeh: Isn't that what Cale-nim wished for when he told about the Gray Disease rumor? Cale: *smiles sincerely* You really make my work enjoyable. Clopeh: …Thank you! *brightly smiles and feels ecstatic* Clopeh: *discusses their future plans* Cale: Exactly. Exactly, that's what I was thinking. Narrator: Cale looked at Clopeh, and for the first time, he felt himself smile. Cale: Here. *hands Clopeh a cookie* Narrator: The sight of Clopeh eating the cookie felt so comforting. Cale: (With him by my side, I can probably be a slacker.) *unconsciously imagines a happy future* Raon: Looks like my human will team up with Clopeh and have a huge fight in this castle, and we'll have to protect the human and Sui Khan from getting hurt! On and Hong: *agrees* Sui: *touches his nape that suddenly felt cold* Narrator: It was similar to the feeling he felt before Choi Jung Soo and Kim Rok Soo caused an accident, and Team Leader Sui Khan involuntarily gripped the scabbard on his side hard.

Cale feeling happy to have Clopeh by his side was new. 😂😂😂 But his delusions of slacker life though... 🤣🤣🤣 Raon's comment too. 🤣🤣🤣 And Sui's accident detection radar. 🤣🤣🤣

The funny thing was... the author dropped this foreshadowing after that conversation:

Three days later, Moraka Castle was completely shattered and collapsed. No one had yet recognized this future.

Given that CH and HD would have arrived at Simon's castle by that time, I guess they would be involved in the castle's destruction too. 😂

Ending Remarks Happy Cale and Clopeh today. 😂 Next chapter would be Clopeh and Cale's meeting with Simon. I wonder what more tricks Clopeh would reveal.

[thehamletdiaries]

Hamlet in Vienna

The week after I quit my job, I spent three nights in a row watching my favourite band play live, got a bunch of new tattoos and then jumped on a flight to Vienna, to watch a production of Hamlet at the Burgtheater Court Theater - the national theatre of Austria.

I stayed in a hostel within walking distance from the theatre; a pleasant place and I managed to sneak a free dinner there.

Homelessness had driven me into hostels out of necessity for much of the beginning of 2024, and there was something genuinely nice about, now, being in one out of choice. 

This was a flying visit and I only had time to check in and to eat before walking down to the theatre; the night surprisingly mild for October. 

Hamlet has a funny history in Vienna. Joseph II declared that sad scenes should be cut from plays and, crucially, that they should have a happy ending - leading to a version of Hamlet where he triumphs over Claudius and becomes King.

It’s a funny thing to think about; Hamlet with a happy ending but also living in a world where everything was like that…where no tragedy was allowed and all stories must say, clearly, “it will all work out in the end…there is no such thing as tragedy…the world is ultimately a good place”. 

My therapist asked me recently if I thought I deserved better than some of the things that have happened to me. I think she expected me to say no. But I said yes. I do think I deserve better. That just isn’t, often, what has happened.

A “traditional” reading of Hamlet as *that type of tragic hero* carries some degree of implication that he is responsible for what happens to him, because he is a hero with a fatal flaw and that means the fact of the tragedy is carried within him as a person.

In his essay on Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Oscar Wilde says of Hamlet, “At the moment when they come across him in the play he is staggering under the weight of a burden intolerable to one of his temperament. The dead have come armed out of the grave to impose on him a mission at once too great and too mean for him. He is a dreamer, and he is called upon to act”. 

I’ve never really read Hamlet as a fatally flawed character because the situation he finds himself in is so bizarre and so entirely out of his control. He is not King Lear or Antony; his own actions creating the narrative he lives in. He is one type of person put in a situation he is fundamentally not suited for, through no fault of his own. That’s why I can imagine a happy ending for Hamlet, but not once the events of the story have begun. That is, in some ways, the great tragedy of Horatio; of course he tells his Prince about the Ghost, but in that moment he dooms him. The rest is inevitable. But I think Horatio had a choice and I also think they both deserved better. But that just isn’t what happens. 

I can’t find a copy of the text of the “Viennese” production of Hamlet - the one with a happy ending. I’d like to read it - not least because I want to see what happens to Horatio in that version.

This production did not end happily. It was, however, what you might call avant garde. There are multiple Hamlets, for a start. 

As I get to the theatre, it occurs to me that I don’t know if it will be in English or German. I don’t speak German. It turns out it’s a bit of both; more German but still plenty of English thrown in, alongside jumping between the original text and new writing (in both German and English). Amazingly, perhaps, I am still able to follow it; with a play I didn’t know as well I would certainly have been entirely lost.

They cut Horatio, and also Laertes. At first, it is unclear if Laertes has actually been cut or not, as they get rid of the beginning of the play and jump straight to Hamlet meeting his father’s ghost; so I was wondering if Laertes, his first two scenes being gone entirely, would still appear at the end. This prospect is dismissed when Gertrude says to a (now mad) Ophelia, “you are all alone in the world. Your father is dead and your brother was tragically cut….from the script”. Which is a very funny line.

The vast majority of the actors play ever present ghosts, hovering around the stage in white sheets and doing...not much else. One of these ghost actors is a child.

The multiple Hamlets represent (or at least it seems to me that they represent) different parts of his psyche and it works in its way, although it creates the strange effect of having me like some of the Hamlet actors more than others and wishing I could see more of my favourites.

The theatre is too hot and you aren’t allowed to take drinks in.

Claudius and Gertrude double as the gravediggers.

So much of the last year of my life has involved me also being in situations beyond my control; situations in which I have, then, struggled to take action. This wasn’t, previously, a trait of Hamlet’s that I found at all relatable, but these recent situations have left me inert and paralysed in a way I haven’t experienced before. I get it now, in short.

Watching these many actors run around on stage as the different parts of Hamlet’s mind in some ways emphasises that quality - a mind of chatter and contradictions so focused on itself that he is unable to then actually do anything. Again, relatable.

The production ends with Gertrude explaining, in English, to the audience everything that happens at the end of the play; the sword fight and what happens with Fortinbras, till her monologue is interrupted by one of the Hamlets breaking her neck.

Leaving my job was maybe the biggest choice I had made in over a year, at that point. It’s been over three months now, since then, and I don’t regret it. 

On my way back from the theatre, I walk a slightly longer way round so I can walk past the Austrian Parliament, which has a statue of the goddess Athena outside. Tomorrow I will fly back to the UK, see David Tennant and Gregory Doran in conversation (more on that in a different post) and then I’ll head to America - a whole different life, I hope, ahead of me.

(also, if anyone does know where I can find the text of the Viennese” production of Hamlet with a happy ending, do let me know!)

[blogthebooklover]

My Theories/Takes On The Next Two Movies In The "Noa" Trilogy.

I'm mainly focusing on the current "Noa" trilogy (hopefully) for the reboot Planet of the Apes franchise. There are also some takes/theories I would like to see happen in the next two movies, or being inspired from other films. I mentioned some of these scenes on discord, and I'm including other ones as well. Keep in mind, this is all just for fun.

Noa Gets Captured a la King Kong Style

If the second movie focuses on mostly Mae's arc after the end of Kingdom, I imagine a scene similar to King Kong 2005 (didn't Owen Teague also mention this is one of his favorite movies?) Maybe Noa is trying to get Mae back for whatever reason, however, her colony sets up a trap for him and Mae tries all that she can to not see him get hurt, and this time by her human companions.

And maybe a following scene where Mae meets Noa a la Disney's Pocahontas.

2. Mae and Noa Reunion

I imagine a scene similar to Spirited Away when Mae and Noa reunite in the second (or maybe third) movie. Whether this happens before or after Noa gets captured, I'm not sure, but I digress. Plus, didn't Wes Ball mention he's also a fan of Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli movies?

3. Mae and/or Noa Gets Hurt/Saved

Okay, for this one I imagine three or four different scenes.

First: a scene similar to the ending of James Cameron's Avatar; when Neytiri saves Jake's human form in the trailer. I imagine this can work vice versa between Mae and Noa, and maybe at the end of third movie. Most likely to be closer to this version.

Second: a scene similar to the ending of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Specifically the scene where Ben/Kylo saves Rey with the use of his force. I imagine a scene like this happening in the third movie as well.

Third: a scene similar to Peter Pan 2003. Specifically the final fight scene. Once again, more likely to happen in the third movie.

Fourth, and saved this one for the last part in this section: a scene similar to The Fox and the Hound, and yes, THAT SCENE! Once again, this could work vice versa (Mae stepping in to protect Noa, and/or Noa stepping in to protect Mae). I can imagine a scene like this happening in either the very end of the second film, or perhaps the third.

4. Noa Has a Whole Monologue Moment

SPOILER ALERT: this is from Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and imho this is SUPERB A+++ WRITING AND ACTING from Roddy McDowall, Harry Rhodes, and screenwriter Paul Dehn (Owen Teague has to show OFF his acting abilities). I imagine a scene of Noa giving a monologue about protecting his kind, maybe at the end of the second movie.

Side Note: I also highly recommend buying the Blu Ray compilation pack of the OG franchise, it has some great behind-the-scenes features/documentaries, and I especially recommend watching the one about Conquest.

5. Noa, Anaya, Soona & Mae Find A Recording of Will Rodman

This was in my head for a while now, I mentioned this on a discord server, and this is something I can totally see happening maybe at the end of the sequel or some time in the third movie. The trio and Mae find a video recording of Will (James Franco) confessing that HE was the one that caused the Simian virus, that it was originally supposed to be a cure for dementia/Alzheimer's. While he was taking care of both his father Charles (John Lithgow) who was sick from Alzheimer's, and eventually his adoptive son Caesar (Andy Serkis) who was born with the ALZ112 in his system due to his mother being one of the test subjects for the cure; Will reveals he became determined to continue working on the medicine to help eradicate Alzheimer's altogether.

He was working on something that was supposed to help society, not destroy it and cause the downfall of humankind. And because he couldn't take it any longer of seeing his own father regressing further into his illness.

After everything that happened in Rise, to the beginnings of the Simian pandemic, and eventually Caroline's death during the full swing of the virus, he sets up his video camera system on his computer and gives his last confession before either dying of the virus himself; or perhaps (TW) taking his own life (possibly off-camera).

And after the recording is finished playing, the quartet are stunned in complete and utter shock of this revelation. Now obviously, Mae knew about the virus, however, she had absolutely no idea about its true origins until this point; or her authority figures from the bunker KNEW, but kept it as restricted knowledge for only the higher ups to access, while the rest of the surviving humans only know what they were taught from their history lessons (sound familiar?). Meanwhile, this information is once again obviously, A LOT to take in for the ape trio; especially for Noa.

I'm not entirely sure if Noa would distant himself from the others, or become standoffish, (at least according to the deleted scenes) my poor boy is going through the process of an enlightened mind. On the other hand though, I do see him becoming slightly standoffish, considering his reaction to the picture book from the vault.

Will Rodman (James Franco) is probably the only other human character I imagine returning, from the Caesar trilogy.

6. Mae's Story Arc

If Kingdom ended with both Mae and Noa, since the beginning is very heavily focused on Noa's story (to be fair, it IS the classic Hero's Journey). I think the second movie might lean in to Mae's storyline/arc just a little bit more. I do think she's going to remain an antihero/heroine, maybe sharing similarities to how Caesar (not entirely, maybe a sprinkling here and there) was in Dawn, but I don't think she'll go down the path that Koba eventually did.

I think she's still going to remain conflicted about where her loyalties lie between Noa, the grief of losing her team (possibly her entire family) from Proximus's apes, and the fate of whatever is leftover of humanity. To add to this, I also think Mae is going to have PTSD and develop some unhealthy coping mechanisms after everything that happened in Kingdom. I've seen someone on discord talk about the possibility of her becoming a double agent (again, to be fair, the context was a fanfiction AU, but I digress). I absolutely love the idea for Mae, kind of similar to how Jake Sully was in James Cameron's Avatar, before he eventually feels something more for the Na'vi and Neytiri.

While she acts as a double agent for the humans and apes, Mae begins to slowly heal from her trauma when she's with Noa and the rest of the Eagle Clan, and maybe a couple of human allies who also act as go-betweens.

And maybe when she's with the people from the bunker, she can only stay in the quarantine areas, and the only other human(s) she interacts with will probably be either a doctor or nurse (get it??? Shakespeare anybody???)

7. Noa's Story Arc

I'd like to see Noa still learning his role as a leader of his clan in the second movie, we see a bit of this during the flood in the bunker. However, he too is also conflicted about his new view of the world at large, after his alliance with Mae and the whole Proximus Caesar incident. Would he continue to learn about leadership within the confines of his village? Or would he want travel to new areas away from the Eagle Clan, to learn more about this post-apocalyptic world, and the various other ape clans; or underground human communities? Or would he be on the cusp of a dark path himself?

Personally, I have no problem with sweet and naive characters going down a dark path, however, as long as there's a new take on the trope. While it would be interesting to see how Noa's trauma from the events in Kingdom would play out in the next two movies; and maybe it could work as a reverse of Mae healing from her own trauma. However, at the same time, I really really don't want to see him become a thematically dark character.

Like Mae in the aforementioned, I think Noa might also develop PTSD after the events in Kingdom. Whether he finds his own way of healing from said trauma, or dive further into it; hence the darker path previously mentioned, it is up to the screenwriters for the next two movies where Noa's mindset will be. On the other hand though, I would like to see both Mae and Noa learn how to heal together from their traumas.

Hence, Raka's last words to them: Together Strong.

[my-marvel]

How I'd Make The MCU: 2006's The Fantastic Four

Of course we have to establish Marvel's First Family after the Big Three:

1. In this version, Victor Von Doom is a prince of Latveria, who's uncle rules the kingdom. In this universe, Latveria roughly matches the region of Banat, and is a predominantly Romani kingdom. 

2. The origin story is that Reed, Sue, Johnny, Ben, and Victor go into space for science stuff when a burst of cosmic rays causes them to get their powers and for their shuttle to fall back down to Earth. 

3. After the incident, Victor shuts himself into his lab, having been scarred by the event physically and is trying to understand what happened to him. The Four begin receiving tons of public attention for what the papers are calling "their fantastical abilities." 

4. Reed plans to construct a machine to reverse their conditions. However, Johnny refuses to cooperate, insisting they should just embrace their powers. Victor discovers his ability to generate green lightning, determining this is not a curse but a gift. He blames Reed for the accident, and begins plotting his revenge. He feigns interest in Reed's work, helping him develop the machine.

5. Sue is not enjoying all the public attention, unlike Johnny who loves every second of it. Ben is having a lot of self-esteem issue now that he's the Thing (a name he gives himself after a dog mistakes him for a boulder to pee on ("Look at me, even the dogs think I'm just some THING!")). Then, while moping around Central Park, he stops a blind girl from being mugged, Alice. The two start going out. 

6. After some acts of heroics by Sue and Reed, he decides perhaps their powers aren't as detrimental as he once believed. When he goes to talk to Victor about this, he finds Victor in his lab, now wearing that iconic metal mask. Victor explains he does not wish to show his scars, basing the mask off of King Baldwin IV's mask. He then talks about how his father was supposed to be king of Latveria, but died under suspicious circumstances. Finishing with, "Perhaps your right Reed, about these powers. Imagine all that we can now do..."

7. One night, Victor kidnaps Reed and Sue, revealing his master plan. He intends to use the machine to depower the Four, leaving him to exact his revenge however he sees fit. He manages to depower Reed, but Sue manages to get away and warn Johnny and Ben, who go help her save Reed.

8. Victor depowers Reed, planning to go out and find Sue. Reed manages to escape his bonds and finds Doom has locked him out of all his tech. While Doom is battling Sue, Johnny, and Ben, Reed is working to use his smarts to reverse the machine. Once he does, he repowers himself and joins the battle, which ends with Ben throwing Doom out of the building.

9. After the battle, the building, which Doom owned, is repossessed and given to the Fantastic Four, renaming it to the Baxter Building. 

10. In a post-credit scene, Doom returns to Latveria and goes to his uncle's court, where he kills his uncle and ascends to be the new King of Latveria. Final line ending the scene is, "Sleep with one eye open, Richards. For I am simply rebuilding my strength. I will not be a passing annoyance, I AM YOUR DOOM."

[ghost-bison]

Much Ado About Nothing / The Winter's Tale

She dying, as it must so be maintain'd, Upon the instant that she was accused, Shall be lamented, pitied and excused Of every hearer: for it so falls out That what we have we prize not to the worth Whiles we enjoy it, but being lack'd and lost, Why, then we rack the value, then we find The virtue that possession would not show us Whiles it was ours. [...] When he shall hear she died upon his words, The idea of her life shall sweetly creep Into his study of imagination, And every lovely organ of her life Shall come apparell'd in more precious habit, More moving-delicate and full of life, Into the eye and prospect of his soul, Than when she lived indeed; then shall he mourn, If ever love had interest in his liver, And wish he had not so accused her, No, though he thought his accusation true. [...] Come, lady, die to live: this wedding-day Perhaps is but prolong'd: have patience and endure.

–Friar Francis, Act 4 Scene 1, Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

As you can probably tell I've just rewatched the 2011 West End production of MAAN (with Catherine Tate and David Tennant as Beatrice and Benedick) and omg I am even more obsessed now. Cause I've picked up on a parallel I hadn't the first time, between this play and Winter's Tale.

So the quote just above is from the scene right after Claudio publicly rejected Hero, believing she cheated on him. Beatrice fell to her knees at her cousin's side after Hero fainted, believing her dead and declaring it out loud, and that was the last Claudio and Don Pedro heard and saw of Hero as they left the scene. After which the Friar suggested they faked her death to get her out of trouble.

And this reminded me SO MUCH of Winter's Tale my dudes. I can't BELIEVE I haven't noticed the similarities before.

For those who might not be familiar with the plot:

King Leontes becomes paranoid and wrongly accuses his wife, Hermione, of cheating on him with his friend, King Polixenes. He has her arrested, which leads to their son, Mamillius, dying from stress. Upon hearing of her child's death, Hermione faints, and Paulina (Hermione's friend) fakes Hermione's death to get her out of trouble. Paulina spends over a decade keeping Hermione in hiding and cultivating Leontes' grief and regrets, at the end of which she presents him with a statue of his wife (this scene is an absolute banger, btw). She doesn't let him know what he has seen was not a statue but his actual wife until later in the play, leading to a happy resolution.

Well, even though contrary to Winter's Tale, this happens over just a few days in Much Ado About Nothing... well the same kind of happens. And I mean, the years that passed in WT are a testament to the fact that it is, after all, a tragicomedy, whereas MAAN is a comedy. So it doesn't have nearly the same impact and consequences on the characters. There's no bittersweetness and frustration to MAAN like there is to WT, which I was thankful for as the latter gave me enough sadness for three lifetimes.

But there are still similarities to both plots that hit so hard.

LIKE THE FACT THAT ONE OF THOSE SIMILARITIES HAPPENS IN THE THIRD SCENE OF THE FIFTH ACT OF BOTH PLAYS LIKE TF

In MAAN, Claudio visits Leonato's monument to read the epitaph for Hero, whom he still believes to be dead.

In WT, Paulina reveals to Leontes the "statue" of his wife, whom he still believes to be dead.

And I LOVE the 2011 production for making Hero appear in the scene to Claudio as he laments her death, and then disappear, and he thinks so naively so little of this (possibly that he hallucinated her?) cause it echoes back to the statue scene in WT as Leontes admires the statue of Hermione and can't tell for the life of him that it's made of flesh:

LEONTES Her natural posture! Chide me, dear stone, that I may say indeed Thou art Hermione; or rather, thou art she In thy not chiding, for she was as tender As infancy and grace. But yet, Paulina, Hermione was not so much wrinkled, nothing So aged as this seems. PAULINA So much the more our carver's excellence; Which lets go by some sixteen years and makes her As she lived now.

And there's both humour and tragedy in this, as there is (mostly) humour in the reveal in MAAN that the "cousin" Claudio would marry in place of Hero is, actually, Hero herself:

CLAUDIO Which is the lady I must seize upon? LEONATO This same is she, and I do give you her. CLAUDIO Why, then she’s mine.—Sweet, let me see your face. LEONATO No, that you shall not till you take her hand Before this friar and swear to marry her. CLAUDIO [to HERO] Give me your hand before this holy friar. I am your husband, if you like of me. HERO And when I lived, I was your other wife, And when you loved, you were my other husband. [she unmasks] CLAUDIO Another Hero!

I love it. So idiotic. Works so well. Anyway. I hope all this makes sense, it's kind of 3am here but I got excited. Hihi

[futurepastme]

Before the Dawn of Man in Castles Made of Sand

For the past year i've been trying to write my first fic and I barely even started at all, but from time to time I imagine a few scenes that might or not - probably not- be included on the main story and SOMETIMES I write them down anyway I can, as fast as I can. And sometimes I actually take the time to try writing something decent.

So here is a scene that I though of that supposedly is part of the fic I'm writing but will never happen: ≈2.5k words

Three hundred-ish years ago, the first King of Camelot, King Bruta, signed a very detailed peace treaty with the King of Essetir, Éamonn. It wasn’t a ‘now-we-are-buddies’ agreement or a ‘you’re-in-trouble-let-me-help’ agreement, no, it was a ‘keep-our-shit-to-ourselves’ agreement.

Bonded by blood magic, the treaty stated that as long as a descendant of both the original kings set on the throne of their respective kingdoms, no acts of war, military or otherwise, would be allowed between their kingdoms on penalty of the immediate interruption of the lives of the current rulers and all of their living relatives. 

A complete ending of the bloodline, with no one left to salvage it in any way.

The treaty was signed by both Kings and any living heirs they had, so as to make sure that the bloodline was completely bounded by the contract. 

The magic, though, had an expiration date. It was powerful, ancient magic, but as the seasons change and the days turn to night, magic, too, is frail against the will of time, and as it passes it would slowly fade into nothingness.

It was stated then at the bottom of the contract, just before the fancy signatures with the swirling loops, that when the time should come for the magic to disappear, both Kingdoms’ current rulers should reunite in a meeting for the reinforcement of the spell and a renewal of the contract. ♦

Some would say that Merlin ran out of time. Which was clearly an exaggeration seeing as he still has plenty of time left. No, really, he still had like, at least five hours before things really go to shit. That’s what he thought, anyway.

But some people, well, everybody but Merlin, would say that he ran out of time a week ago, when the announcement was made; or four days ago when the party was ready to leave and Merlin sat on his horse; or even yesterday when they were still outside of the Kingdom, camping for the night.

But no, he definitely still has a few hours. The party still wouldn't even be able to see the castle for another three, and they wouldn’t reach the lower town for another half hour after that.

Merlin was out of time.

He sat on his saddle, restlessly sweating his nerves out. If Arthur could see him, he would order him to stop, ask what is wrong and call him a girl, all in a single phrase. Arthur couldn't see him, though.

If this were a simple hunting trip, Merlin would be by his side, chattering his ears off and completely disregarding every royal protocol ever written in the history of mankind. But this was a Royal Camelot Party led by King Uther himself, which, of course meant that Merlin was far off the back riding along with the rest of the servants of the Royal Household. 

Which meant that he could barely even see Arthur’s stupid golden hair, let alone talk to him about anything.

So, the battle plan, now that he still had plenty of time was that he would avoid everything and everyone that has a mouth or ears or eyes, run for Arthur’s assigned chambers, tell him everything without crying at all and then pray that he could leave said chambers alive and sane. And with his heart unscathed. 

It is not every day you tell your master, friend and secret crush that not only your existence is illegal in his father’s kingdom, but you are actually royalty yourself. Royalty of the kingdom they were currently at.

So, Merlin was having a great day, and a stressless week.

And it only got better when the knights arrived.

A small party of seven men, dressed in armor very similar-looking to the ones from Camelot, the only apparent difference being the blue capes and the lack of a royal crest on the chest piece, slowly approached, led by an almost completely gray-haired knight with dark eyes and an almost charming smile.

“Welcome to Essetir, your Majesty, Your Highness. I’m Sir Griogair, we are here to safely escort your Majesty and your party to the gates of the keep.” Merlin hastily pulled his hood and sank lower on the saddle. 

Griogair was, in Merlin’s opinion, a slimy little man greedy with power, he has loathed the guy since the day he sat foot in Essetir, every hair on his body reacting with the man’s disgusting nature. But of course, ‘bad feeling’ wasn’t a good excuse not to knight the bravest looking guy his father had seen in years. Especially when you are only thirteen and don't know better yet.

He deserved credit, though, for Griogair was, at the time and still, a very handsome man with charms to spare. He had won over almost everyone in the keep within the week, was knighted within the month, and when Merlin left, he was one of the most high-ranked knights of the kingdom.

But now, for the looks of it, and from the few words he managed to hear all the way from the back, Griogair was not only a First Assembly Knight, and a Dragon Rider of the Kingdom, but has snatched for himself the position of War Mage.

That meant that not only the fucker had learnt magic, but it was skilled and powerful enough to be able to qualify for the position and now could use it freely on behalf of the kingdom. It also meant that, when in mission out of the keep, he would be responsible for dealing with the magical creatures and beings that lived within the borders of the kingdom, interfering as necessary.

Also, that meant that the bastard had clearly taken advantage of Merlin’s absence to ensure the one position Merlin could and would have stopped him from getting. 

Anger aside, Merlin took a second to recompose himself and to try to identify the other knights that came with Slimy Griogair. He knew his father wouldn’t send a bunch of low-ranking knights to deal with burn-innocents-at-a-pyre-for-fun Uther Pendrasshole and his entourage.

The three knights that rode on the left side of Slimy Griogair he couldn’t see. Actually, he barely couldn’t see the Snake himself, which he was equally parts glad and concerned.  

Of the other three knights that he could see, two he failed to recognize. 

But at the front, riding almost side by side with Griogair, he caught a glimpse of curly snow-white hair. Sir Llywelyn was by far his closest knight, 5 years older than himself, the man was a true friend and a fierce knight. 

Ending his quick inspection of his men, Merlin lowered his head further, letting the hood blind his vision fully and trusting his horse to follow the others. Friend or foe, Llywelyn or Griogair, it didn’t matter, Merlin had to get home unrecognized by either of them or the other knights.

♦

At this point in his life, one would think Merlin was used to things not going as planned. From magical creatures that appear from nowhere to bandit attacks, Merlin’s day never went as he expected since the day he decided to leave home and follow his magic to the great unknown. The great unknown that led to Camelot and to the unending headache that his life became.

You would think that somebody as powerful and as used to ambushes as Merlin would have been able to feel the approach of a huge flying magical creature, but he had better things to worry about then to be attacked by his own dragon.

The betrayal, honestly.

They had been on the road for another hour since his knights joined Camelot’s Party. Merlin still had his head down, but now his hooded cape had a small spell that kept his hoodie from falling unless he wanted it down.

He was bored. Not only far away from Arthur and from Leon, but he still had to ride at George’s side.

The man has been rambling on for hours about all that was known of Essetir culture and servants’ etiquette, which wasn’t much, but he somehow managed to stretch a 3 pages lost-through-time knowledge into a 40-minute-and-still-going monologue, and also somehow made it more boring than the grain reports.

It went down really fast

One second, he was on his horse, trying to not listen to George and still stay awake, and the other he was on the ground with an extremely heavy, horse-sized, white dragon licking his face.

The second that his brain took to understand the situation was enough to hell break loose.

Camelot’s knights stood on one side, weapons drawn, ready to kill the beast, while his knights tried to protect Aithusa.

There were shouts and threats from both sides, and stupid Griogair, instead of trying to appease the situation and take the unknown Camelot servant from under the huge magic creature that he should be responsible for, no, he was aggravating the situation even more.

He had to do something, now.

By the time he got back on his feet, both sides were ready to attack each other, Arthur’s arm raised slightly, ready for the first strike.

“Enough” he said, walking to put himself between Arthur and Griogair. His voice was loud and clear. A voice of command and power, a voice he hadn’t used in years. It was the strong voice of someone born to lead legions to war. Camelot’s knights relaxed a little, if by shock or relief he didn’t know, but they kept their stance as Arthur scanned him “I’m fine, no harm done.”

He turned fully toward his knights “Lower your weapons, now.”

The problem was, Merlin was still hooded and Griogair was still an asshole “Is this how Camelot’s servants speak with their superiors?” Stupid said, while grabbing Merlin by his clothes and suspending him in midair.

“Put my servant down. Now.” Arthur commanded, his voice dangerously low and calm.

“The boy might have harmed the dragon, until I say he didn’t, he stays in our custody” Griogair, the idiot that can’t read the room, said.

That’s also when Merlin decided to let his hoodie fall.

He heard a few shocked gasps, and felt more then saw his nights stand down and lower his weapons. But nothing would make him loose the amazing sight of Griogair’s shocked face as he began paling to death. “Put. Me. Down.” He said for Griogair’s ears only.

“Y-your Highness” He dropped Merlin like he burned his hands taking half a step back, Merlin would have fallen but right now he wasn’t the clumsy servant anymore, he was the Crown Prince Merlin Ambrosius of Essetir, trained in combat from a young age, and with a political situation on his hands that could lead to war.

“Forgive me, My Lord. I hadn’t realized we were graced with your illustrious presence” His head in a low bow, but his eyes never leaving Merlin’s.

“Sir Griogair”

“It is really good to have you back, Sire. The people start to talk, you see? Rumors about your death spread, but not me, Sire. I knew better, you see? I told them all; No one in the five Kingdoms have more skill or bravery or the complete…”

“Stop talking”

The amusement Merlin felt when he first saw Sir Griogair’s shocked face had slowly diminished and was long gone. Every second that he stood there, posture straight, facing his knights in his kingdom, with the feeling of the stares of another Royal Household burning his right side; the further away he was from the happy servant he was this morning, and now the phantom weight of his crown started pressing down on his head.

“I’m sure you are aware, Sir Griogair, of my reticence towards you when my father first started rising your rank within the knights”

“I’m sure I more than proved myself, Your Highness. The king himself knows; my position was more than des…”

“I’m not done” Merlin interrupted again. His posture as straight as possible, his head held high.

“I’m aware of the King’s feelings in regards of your person; and I’m sure you somehow proved yourself to him in many occasions, my father wouldn’t reward with higher ranks a man he deemed undeserving.” Griogair has stopped bowing, straightening his body and letting a smile that was meant to be charming form on his face.

“Unfortunately,” Merlin continued “I have yet to see the actions that would grant rewards such as your high ranks, and today you have, at my eyes, failed the crown and your kingdom.” His voice was loud enough to be heard by all of the Camelot’s entourage, even George and the other servants at the back.

“Your Highness, surely I can’t be blamed for the actions of a brainless…”

“What my dragon did is irrelevant, as a knight your actions reflect on the kingdom more than anything Aithusa could possibly do, you carry our colours and is responsible for the safety and well being of every living being inside our borders, not only our citizens and creatures, but our guests as well.”

“Sire! I…” He wasn’t smiling anymore; panic was back on his face.

“Unfortunately, your actions today can’t be left unpunished, and at the absence of the king, I’ll be the one to define such punishment; my decision here will be final and would only be overruled by the King himself.”

“Please… Sire!” He fell to his knees, grabbing the hems of Merlin’s cape.

“I hope you know, Sir Griogair, that despite my personal feelings towards you, I take no pleasure in punishing you, in fact, it saddens me deeply that today I have been proven right.” Merlin truly meant that, like it or hate it, the guy was still his knight, he was still his man. “You will be happy to know that, as Crown Prince, I have not the power to permanently remove your knighthood, as it was granted by the King, however I can suspend it.”

The knights started moving behind Griogair, getting into formation. Two lines with three men each, positioned by rank in a way that put Merlin and Griogair at the center. It was the same position they took when somebody was knighted.

With everybody settled in their positions, Merlin twisted his wrist and raised his finger pointing towards Griogair’s chest.

Now, everybody from the Camelot Entourage has at least once seen a knighting ceremony, and surely, most have seen how it goes when such knighthood is removed. However, none of them has ever seen one to the likes of Essetir’s

As a Kingdom with magic at its throne, Essetir’s knighthood works differently.

The king doesn’t simply stand in a pretty room, says some inspiring words, wave around a fancy sword an BAM! you’re a knight, you may rise.

In summary, the knights are essentially bound, to the crown and to each other, by magic. It isn’t the type of bound that forcefully traps them without escape; they can choose to leave if they so desire. No, the bound is connection. It is brotherhood.

When Merlin twisted his wrist, it activated the bound. Only the King and his direct heir could activate the bound in such a way.

On every Essetir Knight’s, at the right side almost on their shoulders, now set a fist-sized symbol, a shield shaped blue light, with the Ambrosius crest. The same shield now also appeared on Merlin, except his was big enough to cover his chest completely.

The pretty crests weren’t the most impressive thing, though. For when Merling flicked his wrist, his clothes, too, changed. As the Crown Prince of Essetir, the activation of the bound by his hand is considered a matter of state; and as such, his clothes must reflect his position and his rank. That is why now, at the middle of the forest stood a Merlin in expensive looking clothing, a cape matching the ones of the knights, and most importantly, a silver circlet with blue and green gemstones.

End English not my first language

[tilbageidanmark]

MOVIES I WATCHED THIS WEEK # 228:

GARY OLDMAN X2:

🍿 "Moscow rules, watch your back. London rules, cover your arse."

British television director James Hawes did two of my three favorite 'Black Mirror' episodes, "Hated in the Nation" and "Smithereens". Also, the exciting spy thriller SLOW HORSES, now on its fifth year. Based on a popular book series 'Slough House', it takes place in the same double-crossing universe as John le Carré's. I binged the first six episodes of Season One in one non-stop six hour session: It was so tense and suspenseful, it was impossible to take a break. Absolutely top grades from me - 10/10. Nasty alcoholic, disillusioned and constantly farting Gary Oldman was never better, not even when he played George Smiley 10 years earlier. (Poster Above).

🍿 LA PETITE MORT (2012), my second art-house short by Alex Prager. Gart Oldman narrates this feminist parable which has some striking visuals. A woman imagines birth, love, orgasm, death. 2/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

Another series, JUDEX. My second work by French Louis Feuillade (After 'The Bank Note') is my surprising film experience of the week! An utterly modern 5-hour silent serial in 13 parts - from 1916! It tells a complex adventure story of an heroic avenger, the original masked vigilante. His was the inspiration for the pulp hero character of 'The Shadow ' and many other crusaders of crime.

The camera work, acting, twisted action and mise-en-scène were absolutely first grade. Revenge, love, forgiveness and redemption. The YouTube copy was restored so well, that for most of the time it felt like a period movie that was made today. Where can one find more old films so crisp? 9/10.

Recommended by JupiterKansas.

🍿

Also: THE KING OF DOLLARS (1905), another groundbreaking silent film, my first by Segundo de Chomón, "The Spanish Méliès". A magical short about slight of hand, which could have been made today. (With this screenshot)

🍿

JUST ONE SMALL FAVOR (2023). A light Spanish screwball comedy. Three filthy-rich, asshole siblings have to spend a weekend together at the family summer estate after their old nanny dies. This could have been way funnier, if the screwball was dialed up to 11. The trailer says it all. 3/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

PIETRO GERMI X 2:

🍿 Poor Stefania Sandrelli was 17 when she played the beautiful 15-yo daughter in SEDUCED AND ABANDONED. She is "seduced" - rather raped - by her sister's sleazy fiancé, and this being a misogynistic provincial town in Sicily in 1964, she is the one who must be punished. Don Vincenzo, her indigenous father, locks her up in a room with a chamber pot not to be let out, and she is being slapped and abused by everybody around her. A bitter and cynical comedy about The 'Crime of Honor' at work. I am going to follow up with the other two parts of his ironic 'Baroque trilogy'. 7/10.

🍿 THE FACTS OF MURDER (1959) is a police procedural with 21-yo Claudia Cardinale as the pretty maid. Very fast dialogue of two different crimes committed on the same day. An unexpected twist at the end.

🍿

PAOLO SORRENTINO X 3:

🍿 “If you had to choose between Maradona coming to Napoli and screwing Aunt Patrizia, which would you choose?…”

THE HAND OF GOD (2021), my 9th feature by Sorrentino, another of his coming-of-age 'Memories of Napoli' series. Like 'Amercord' without Mussolini, it's distinctively Felliniesque: Fat women, green dressed extras, seducing Baroness, the little monk apparition. If only his main character, who looked exactly like Timothée Chalamet of 'Call me by your name' period, had a bit more charisma.

It's funny, when you come to a scene that stands out even without announcing itself. So you check the clock, and yes, it's 1:02:00, the exact mid-point of the movie. Here it was a quiet 3-minute scene, when Toni Servillo and his wife sit by their fireplace at the new house they just moved into. Nothing special happens: He's reading, she's knitting, the firewood cracking. But maybe because it's so peaceful, you feel, this scene means everything. And tragically it is.

🍿 HOME MADE (Voyage Au Bout De La Nuit). Sorrentino's weird short contribution to a 2020 Covid anthology. Made at home during the quarantine. It features a carnal affair between strange dolls of Queen Elizabeth and Pope Francis (?), with a cameo of a third doll, that of Jeff Lebowski, The Dude (??).

🍿 Also, KILLER IN RED (2017), an irritating short about a cocktail, a bar and Clive Owen as a bartender. All style and no substance. 1/10.

🍿

CHONGQING HOT POT (2016) is part of the "Criterion Channel Chinese Crime Thrillers collection". I love me some very spicy hot pot, but this was not 'Tampopo' or 'Babette’s Feast' or any other food-centric flicks. It wasn't the worst screwball-caper-comedy, but I couldn't get into it. ⬇️Could Not Finish. ⬇️

🍿

"Welcome to America's weirdest home videos..."

Another frequent re-watch of AMERICAN BEAUTY (1999). A masterful study of midlife crisis, white middle-class desperation and suburban ennui. Creepy Lester Burnham male-gazing his teenage daughter's girlfriend, in a dreamy bathtub full of red rose petals. And of course, the "Dancing Plastic Bag" scene clocks exactly at 1:02, the midpoint of the movie. Highly-quotable all the way. ♻️.

🍿

I was led to believe that CUTTER'S WAY (1981) was some kind of darker 'Big Lebowski' origin story. And they do share thematic similarities. Young John Heard gave it all as a veteran who lost an arm and a leg (and an eye) in the war, which left him with bitter PTSD, and made him obnoxious and incoherent. And Jeff Bridges was a prettier slacker who aimlessly bums his way around. And they do get involved with an unclear Southern California mystery and an older powerful millionaire who may have committed crimes. But I could not connect with it. The subtext of the Lost 1960's, and the veterans who came back broken notwithstanding, this didn't feel believable.

🍿

MEETING THE MAN: JAMES BALDWIN IN PARIS (1970) is an odd British documentary. A pompous white interviewer had an opportunity to sit down for a portrait of 'the writer in exile'. Baldwin could have tell him plenty, if he would just listen. But the privileged, young presenter chose to continuously bicker with him on camera, proving the exact tragic argument that his radical point-of-views went sidelined, unheard and ignored. You can see the pain in his eyes, as he's being misunderstood and talked over. (Via).

🍿

"I had a lobster. His name was Stewart..."

THE STUDIO, EPISODE 9 "CINEMACON". What happened in Vegas, whether it's 'Swingers' or 'The hangover', starts with chocolate-covered shrooms and ends with an “Old-school Hollywood buffet”. Episode 9 is a full-blown homage to 'Fear and loathing in Las Vegas'. Best Bryan Cranston performance since 'Breaking Bad'. In a world of terrific episodes, this was by far the funniest yet. This series is so infectious, I felt compelled to re-watch every episode twice in a row! 10/10.

🍿

PLEASURE AT HER MAJESTY'S. A documentary about an Amnesty benefit concert that was put out by Monty Python, 'Beyond the fringe' and 'the Goodies' in 1976. Meh. 2/10.

🍿

(ALL MY FILM REVIEWS - HERE).

[jilyarchive]

MAY AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: OHMYGODSHESINSANE

Q: Where can we find you and your stories?

A: @ohmygodshesinsane​, AO3, FF.NET

Q: How would you describe your writing style?

A: Ooh, this is hard! I love writing a bit of banter but it’s the psyche underneath that I’m really drawn to, and the characters – I think of myself as writing about characters or relationships more than scenarios or plots. I like to hone in on the little moments rather than the big showstoppers. I’d rather write about the aftermath of a battle than the heat of it, and I love the mornings-after, the space between a confrontation and a revelation, and the first shared laugh rather than the first kiss. Maybe that’s the perfectionist in me coming out – I get nervous writing those big events, I get worried I’ll muck it up. And I love a party scene too. There’s something about the chaos that brings the important things into focus.

Q: How do you come up with ideas for your writing?

A: Honestly, other books and fics! I’ll read a romance novel and think – now, what if Lily and James had a conversation like that? Oh, and this could happen – and maybe Sirius did that bit – and instead of x, a and c happen. My real life does inspire a lot of it too. If I need to work through something, I’ll pull it to pieces in a fic. Or someone will tell me a story and I’ll think, ‘oh my god, I need to write something like that’. And it becomes something completely new by the time the writing’s done. I love prompts, too, I can’t get enough of them.

Q: When and why did you begin writing fanfiction?

A: I wrote my first fanfiction when I was around seven years old in a literacy lesson, and it was maybe three paragraphs based on The Lion King 2. Towards the end of 2010 I started writing HP fanfiction and in 2012 I started writing marauders and Jily fanfiction. I loved reading but I had a short attention span – I’d always start wondering, ‘but what if this happened? What if so-and-so did this instead?’, and I’d go scribble my ideas down. I could never watch movies all the way through because I’d run off to go play-act my own version of the story. And so it really just blossomed from that. I’ve spent over half my life writing fanfiction and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my free time.

Q: What’s one thing you’d tell someone who is considering reading one of your fics?

A: Thank you so much! It’s all homemade and written with love.

Q: What are some of your favorite Jily tropes?

A: I love a slow burn, if that counts. Otherwise probably Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers, Anguished Declarations of Love, and Forced Proximity in any way, shape or form. I love it when there’s a little angst mixed in there. And of course Quidditch Player/Professional Athlete!James x Journalist!Lily. It’s one of my absolute favourite AUs.

Q: What do you like most about the Jily fandom?

A: The Jily fandom is so friendly and welcoming! Never before have I felt so much like part of a community. People are so great about reading and commenting and sharing the love, and I love all the events we have. It’s very active and close-knit. It just has this truly lovely atmosphere.

Q: Pick a favourite Marauders era character.

A: Goodness, I have to go with Lily! She’s probably my all-time favourite to write, because I feel there’s just the right mix of canon information about her and things that are only hinted at that can be fleshed out. I could read character studies of her all day.

Q: Self-promo time! List the fics that you are most proud of writing.

A:

creature comfort – This fic has been with me through thick and thin since I first started writing it in 2017 (!!) and it’s been so fundamental to me re-engaging in fandom and improving my writing skills. It’s been quite the undertaking to write but I love carving out the world word-by-word, and it’s been such a crucial tool for me to build the world of HP as I see it and to get a sense of James and Lily and the rest of the gang’s characters.

baby it’s cold outside – My first (proper) smut fic which I spent ages worrying over and crafting. I love how it came together in the end. It’s essentially an AU with Quidditch Player! James, Journalist! Lily Evans, and only one room left… with just one bed.

Mercy – This is a more recent one, and a fic written almost entirely by accident – I intended for it to come in at about 300 words and it wound up nearing 3000. With every line I wrote I felt I was discovering something new about the story and about the characters, especially Lily. The process of writing it was really special, and it took me on a bit of a journey. It was difficult but enjoyable. As for the story itself, it’s a Jily Lives! AU from Lily’s perspective – a bit angsty. 

Q: Fic rec time! Could you recommend a few of your favourite Jily fics?

A:

The Life and Times by Jewels5 – This was the first Jily fic I followed along with update-by-update and it was what really cemented my shipping of these two. I reread it every year or so and find another layer to it that completely unravels my heart.

We Have Buried the Putrid Corpse of Liberty by @mabeltothknows​ – I am very late on reading this but I am loving every chapter. I can’t help but adore anything Jily and Married at First Sight and this fic combines them perfectly. It has so much heart and humour and the multimedia aspects bring it to the next level. 

i let you into the garden of my loneliness by @theesteemedladydebourgh​ – The prose is so beautiful and every emotion is so tangible in this one-shot, and it really does have my entire heart. It’s truly a masterpiece and well worth the read.

Thank you @ohmygodshesinsane​ for chatting about your fics with us! ❤️

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dragon 2x01 : Review

First of all, sorry to deliver this review a bit late (one day after and not the same day) than two years ago. I have a full time job and unfortunately, I cannot wake up in the middle of the night (5am) than sleep even less.

Anyway. Here's my review.

It's seems that this season will be less exciting (not the same) than season one has we already know the outcome / the end.

The introduction with the embroidery is very nice, but I think I prefer the introduction with the blood during season one. But the embroidery is incredible.

Also, the landscapes, especially the one from the first scene, are incredible too.

I don't think I would have opened with the north, knowing that the scene was so short and we couldn't even have a glance of Winterfall. It seems that Jacaerys was only there for a day.

At least, it's confirmed that Dragons cannot cross the wall!

Sorry, but I love Prince Daemon. I really don't think that he is a bad characters, yes he has many flaws, but I really think he is driven by blood, dragon and honour.

What happened to Corlys Velaryon? Where was he injured? Also it seems that this dagger is important.

I love the way Helaena plays. But I would have thought that they would give us a hint between her and Aemond.

WTF Alicent! You are a fucking hypocrite. Both of them, her and Ser Criston Cole. Doing the same thing as they blamed Rhaenyra for doing it. Parallel with season one and Sir Cole's white cloak. Rhaenyra brings down the white cloak as Alicent brings up the white cloak.

The edit and the camera corners are incredible. Everything is in the detail.

Is Aegon crazy (scene at the grand conseil)? No, I think he is just stupid and too much spoiled.

I don't believe and I can't imagine Rhaenyra has the type of a crying lady. I see her as a strong woman, not a weak one.

There was one correct thing coming from Aegon's mouth! The most important scene for this episode : "Our victory depends on the efforts of the smallfolk."

Larys Strong is still plotting (nothing knew here).

Otto is still a cautious and smart man.

I like the return of the White Worm. And no, Daemon is not using her as a lover on the side.

Erryk said something very truth to Daemon during their conversation: "Arryk and I were named to the Kingsguard at just 8 and 10. And we swore the same oath: to defend the whole of the royal family. So what were we to do when they turned against one another?

Interesting relationship between Daemon and Rhaenyra? Can they feel each other? Can they communicate with each another? I never saw them connecting the way they did in this episode. There was love definitively.

The camera's way of shooting is incredible.

I don't think that this Rhaenyra is very realistic.

I didn't know that Daemon found a way to get inside King's Landing.

Daemon Targaryen is such an interesting character.

I laughed when Ser Cole was talking about himself, instead of Rhaenyra.

There was something Foreshadowing when Otto talked to Aemond.

The scenery is incredible too.

I love the way it's filmed.

It was incredible for Blood and Cheese to pass in front of Aegon without him and his friends knowing.

There was something very out of place with the statue of King Viserys.

Poor dog!

Is the symbol of rats important? What does it mean?

Foreshadowing regarding the drawing on the wall!!! I really hope it wasn't for Daenerys. It was clearly a dragon burning King's Landing. What wasn't we seen this during season one?

Blood and cheese was very well done, even if I preferred the version in the book.

Helaena doesn't have three children? I thought it was between the big and the small one. Also why the Queen is alone?

And it was even worse when Helaena caught her mother in the act. Nevertheless, I thought that she would take refuge at Aemond's side.

I liked the last scene of the show (meaning) : Alicent's face.

Finally, Daemon truly loves Rhaenyra. There is not question there / about it. There is definitively something there. He did what he did because his wife, his Queen demanded of him. It seems that they are connected in some way.

Good night.

[animeomegas]

Omega!Obey Me characters forgetting a mating anniversary

Anon: reactions to their alpha missing an anniversary? or you could switch it and do reactions to realizing they forgot an anniversary. either or !

Anon part 2: hi! i’m the anon from the anniversary request. i was thinking maybe the obey me! fandom? whichever characters you like. my exams are coming to an end so i’m looking forward to spending hours on that app during the summer 😤😤 i hope you’re doing well ! 💕

(Hey hey!! I’m going to do their reactions to forgetting a mating anniversary, because they’ve been alive a long time, I imagine it would happen at least one hehe. Let’s see~)

Warnings: Mention of sex in Asmo’s section

Lucifer – He denies it at first. He can’t have forgotten, he would never forget something so important, you must have the date wrong. His response is very likely to make his alpha either more angry or more upset, and he inadvertently blows the whole thing out of proportion because he struggles to admit that he’s wrong. But when he realises that he is wrong? That he was so caught up in paperwork for Diavolo he did forget? It’s a hard pill to swallow. He would probably buy his alpha some expensive flowers as an apology of sorts, but unless he’s been in a relationship with his alpha for several hundred years, I don’t see him directly apologising. He does feel guilty, but he really finds it hard to articulate. The upside is that it’s extremely unlikely that he’ll ever do it again. He’s checking four times every week at least now that he hasn’t missed any important dates by mistake.

“Our anniversary is next week, my beloved, you must have confused the dates.”

Mammon – Mammon metaphorically shits himself when he realises he forgot an anniversary. His scent is pure, unadulterated panic. His first instinct is to plan an anniversary event that moment. Hell’s Kitchen must still be open right? He tries to pull his alpha with him right that second. If that doesn’t work, he starts to panic that he’s ruined the most important thing in his life. This is when the begging starts. He says sorry about a hundred times, will get on his knees, offer whatever you want as long as you forgive him. Mammon is actually a very compassionate person who doesn’t like upsetting his loved ones, so it’s very hard to stay mad at him. Unfortunately, he’s not great at keeping track of dates, so it might happen again. The best thing to do is organise something together and give him a few reminders when that date’s coming up.

“Oh shit! Er, Hell’s Kitchen is still open right?? I’ll buy you whatever you want, we’ll order one of everything, does that work?”

Leviathan – He almost certainly forgets because of some game event or new releases. And to make everything worse, at first he acts like the game and event was more important than the anniversary and he thinks it’s a legitimate excuse that you can’t argue with. He realises pretty quickly after the event finishes that he’s completely alone because you’re mad at him. He turns to tell you everything about the game but you don’t want to listen to him?? He sulks in his room for a while. What pushes him to apologise is when he sees you hanging out with other people instead of him. He growls away the other person, pulling you into his room and sobbing angrily against you, asking why you love other people more than him. He apologises then, desperate to have his best friend and lover back with him. He might do it again, but he learns pretty quickly to just communicate when he wants to partake in a special gaming event and then he never forgets again.

“W-Why don’t you love m-me, like you l-love him?! I’m sorry, p-please don’t leave!”

Satan – He feels guilty, but he handles it well. He is phenomenal at apology dates. He organises the perfect romantic date, taking into consideration his alpha’s likes and integrating them. If you have a favourite romantic novel, you know he’s going to recreate a date scene with you. If you have a favourite restaurant, he’s booked the best table and ordered a bouquet of your favourite flowers for the centrepiece. It’s very hard to stay mad at Satan, especially because it’s very out of character for him to forget a date so important.

“If you want any more drinks, just let me know. I want you to enjoy this evening as much as possible.”

Asmodeus – He also deals with it fairly well, even if he can’t believe that he forgot! He’s honest and upfront about forgetting and expresses regret. He will definitely try to seduce you as an apology though, offering to let you do whatever you want to him. If that doesn’t work, next step is a joint pampering session! He’s pretty good at conveying a genuine apology without making anything too dramatic. I think it’s unlikely that he would do it again, because he loves, loves, loves anniversaries!!! He genuinely can’t believe that he forgot because he normally plans everything months in advance.

“Oh! I can’t believe that I… Oh dear, here come to my room and let me make it up to you…”

Beelzebub – He’s heartbroken that he forgot! He is so upset. He apologises immediately, looking like he’s on the verge of tears, and he asks you to tell him what he needs to do to make it up to you. He doesn’t offer up solutions, he wants his alpha to pick something, so he knows they’ll enjoy it. The only thing he definitely does immediately, is offer whatever food he’s been saving for them to share with him while they discuss. He will likely ask for advice from some of his brothers, probably Belphie (who doesn’t help) and Asmo (who’s slightly more helpful). He may do it again, but he always tries his hardest to make your anniversaries as special as he can.

“Here, you can have my ice cream… I’m really sorry… What can I do?”

Belphegor – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal that he forgot, because you can both just rearrange it, right? I think it’s pretty unlikely that his alpha takes kindly to that opinion. It takes Belphie a little while to realise that a) he’s in the wrong and b) he needs to apologise. He’s not good at planning, but when he genuinely puts his mind to it, he’s actually pretty good at giving gifts. He buys something you’ve been wanting for a while, he might even put a sticky bow on top if you’re upset enough. He gives you the gift while mumbling apologies. The second you forgive him, he drags you to take a nap with him because he hasn’t been sleeping well since you’ve been mad at him. He’s pretty likely to do it again at least a few times, but he learns not to be such a dick about it eventually.

“Oh, I guess I must have forgot… We can just go tomorrow; I want to take a nap.”

Diavolo – He is gutted that he forgot. He organises the most extravagant apology dinner possible (which is pretty extravagant, because he’s a king, very dramatic, and very in love all at once). He gives a dramatic speech about how there’s no excuse, how he never wants you to think he doesn’t value your relationship etc. At this point, I imagine most people would be begging him to chill out and promising that they already forgave him. Either way, I don’t think it would ever happen again, especially because he tells all of his staff to remember your anniversary and always remind him the week before. He isn’t going to let this happen again.

“My love, I will never forgive myself for hurting you in this way. I will never stop trying to make it up to you, even if it takes me a millennium.”

Barbatos – This would never happen. He is amazing at keeping organisational data in his brain, especially data that means so much to him. Also, he can see the future, so, even if by some miracle he did forget, he would see your future reaction and know in advance that he forgot. Barbatos isn’t perfect, but he’s not one to forget important dates.

Simeon – Simeon is another one who is heartbroken that he’s treated his most beloved one this way. He feels awful. He does tear up a little bit if the relationship is old enough. Simeon makes a huge effort to create some adorable picnic date, cooking baskets and baskets of food and picking the most beautiful park. He brings flowers and bunting and a little cake that he ices with an apology in an unbelievably cute handwriting style. It’s very, very hard not to forgive him when he’s so apologetic and good at making you smile. He goes out of his way to make sure he never upsets his alpha in this way again. 

“My beloved, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I will seek to make it up to you for as long as you’ll let me.”

Solomon – He doesn’t care that much about anniversaries but he’s not dumb enough (like some other people on this list *cough*) to think that saying that to your face is a good idea. He definitely tries to play it off as though he had something planned all along and that making you think he forgot was part of the plan. He then scrambles to plan things last minute, and he’s quite good at covering up his mistake. If his alpha doesn’t believe him, he makes up for his mistake with expensive and rare gifts. He will find something special for his alpha. A first edition copy of your favourite book or limited edition merchandising of your favourite media, something like that. He knows the excitement will help dull any negative emotions you have towards him. I could definitely see him doing it multiple times, but if his alpha ever expressed genuine hurt long-term about that particular habit, he would readjust his priorities. He’s not a complete asshole after all, he just sometimes has a hard time pulling his head out of said asshole.

“Here, it took me three days to track down someone who had a copy, but I finally found a first edition for you. I hope you will accept this as a token of my apology, my dearest.”

[starryevermore]

the bed you made ✧ ransom drysdale

welcome to angst city™ writing challenge masterlist | angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

this is my entry for my welcome to angst city™ writing challenge.

pairing: prince!ransom drysdale x fem!reader

prompts: let’s add a tiara (royal au) + second floor (fake relationship) + chris’s pretty boys: ransom drysdale

summary: in which two idiots get married.

word count: 2,332

warnings?: honestly this could have fit on a lot of the apartment floors but idk we’ll just go with the one i put down, fake relationship, one of them caught feelings, angst, not proofread

You eyed Ransom Drysdale, Prince of Cruorvina* and Heir to the Thrombey Throne, as he made his way to the top of the ornate staircase. He’d just left his chambers at the far end of the hallway where no one could see him unless they happened to be facing the hall, slightly disheveled, smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes as he passed a mirror. You pretended to not notice the way one of your personal maids was sneaking out as attention zeroed in on Ransom. Instead, you gave him your most diplomatic smile, linking your arms with him as you walked down the staircase together. 

“My maid?” you asked, voice low so only he could hear. “Why not harass one of Meg’s? Or your mother’s? Or your own?”

“Because none of them get quite as agitated as you,” he said. God, you just wanted to slap the smirk right off his face. But you held back. You were not the type of woman to make a scene in public, much less at your own wedding. You still had expectations to live up to. “Remember, this is only to get my parents off my back.”

“I’m aware. But this has gone further than I thought it would. If I recall, you said this would only last as long as it would take for you to find your own bride. And yet...”

“Don’t complain. You are to be Queen. Any other woman would be grateful.”

“Then you should’ve chosen another woman to have gone through with this. I wanted to marry for love. You knew that. And I thought I still had the chance, because you said it would never get this far. I was a fool for trusting you,” you said. By then you reached the center of the ballroom, and Ransom pulled you close to his chest, a waltz beginning, marking your first dance as a married couple. “It matters not. How soon are we expected to produce an heir?”

“Within the year.”

A year of having be in bed with him. A year of fucking him when you had wanted to save yourself for someone you loved. Well, you supposed you had. You had just always thought the man you married would love you back. 

“Very well. And the spare?”

“Within three years.”

“And after that?”

“You will be free to do as you please,” he said. “Within reason, of course. You will still be my wife, you will still reside within the castle. But you will be able to take lovers after that.”

“But I assume you won’t provide the same courtesy.”

He almost looked offended. But why should he be? He’d already made it abundantly clear that he was not going to be loyal to you. Hell, he’d even snuck off just after your vows to get his dick wet. What right did he have to act like you were acting unreasonably? “Y/N...”

The waltz ended, and you pulled out of his arms to sink into a curtsy. “I need to go freshen up,” you said as you rose back to a standing position. “Think you can handle entertaining the guests until I get back?”

“I—” He started to say something, but he cut himself off quickly, changing directions so quickly it almost made you wonder if you imagined that he was going to say something else. “Of course.”

You turned away, stepping through the crowd, smiling at the dignitaries you passed by, pausing for moment to thank King Harlan for providing the funds to allow for such a marvelous wedding, before you finally made it to the solitude of the powder room. Your lady’s maid, Liliana, followed after you, closing the door behind her and locking it for privacy.

“Is everything alright, my lady?” Liliana asked. 

“It does not matter if it is or isn’t,” you said, leaning against the counter. “What’s done is done.”

This was not the life you would’ve chosen. At the start of the social season, you were the daughter of a duke, looking for a man to wed. Now, you were the woman who would be queen. Oh, if only you had said no when Ransom proposed his deal to you. Things could be so different now. 

As the future heir to the throne, Ransom was expected to marry and the sooner the better. Harlan was not expected to live much longer, and rumor had it that a condition in his will said that Ransom must be the one to take the throne. That he’d changed the laws so that Linda would be skipped over entirely. Should that be true, Ransom would have to wed soon, to start having children soon. And, the almighty bachelor had no interest in marriage. 

He came to you, the daughter of one of Harlan’s favorite dukes, to play the part of an interest woman. He wanted his family off his back, he’d said. If he showed that he was trying, they would leave him be. And, if you had a prince interested you, your marriage prospects would increase exponentially as people try to win your favor. Thinking that it wouldn’t last long, you agreed.

But you played your part too well. While the rest of his family delighted in ripping you to pieces, you’d somehow won Harlan’s favor. He gave Ransom no choice. Ransom was to marry you. 

“Maybe he’ll grow to care for you,” Liliana said. 

“Don’t be a fool. He’s a Drysdale. He wouldn’t know emotions if they slapped him in the face.” You shook your head, glancing up at the mirror, shame building up in the pit of your stomach as you looked at the tears welling up in your eyes. “This isn’t a marriage of love. It’s not even a marriage of convenience. It’s a marriage of fools, and I’m trapped. I can’t do anything. If I left, he’d be fine but I’d be ruined. I don’t have a choice...I don’t know if I ever did.”

“Something good could come of it still.”

“Like what? Our future kids? They’d be the only good part of this...relationship. But it will kill me to see their father not even care for them, because you and I both know that he won’t.”

“My lady, you don’t know—”

You turned to her, giving her your iciest glare. “Liliana, you know what he’s done. This entire time he was playing the part of a good man, of a devoted fiancé, he’s been off having his rendezvous. As soon as we were out of the church, he was taking a private carriage back here so that he could chase his own pleasure. He doesn’t care for me, for anyone, but himself. And I’m not going to delude myself into thinking otherwise.” You let out a sad chuckle, looking down at the floor. “I’ve made my bed. Now I must lie in it.”

“I’m sorry, my lady.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you said. “You...You’re trying to make a bad situation better. And I’m beyond grateful for that. But I fear there is no making this better.”

You looked back to the mirror, wiping away the tears that had fallen, trying to make sure that there were no remains of the pain you were feeling. Painting a smile back on your face, you walked past Liliana, unlocking the door, and returning to the celebrations. 

You ran into Meg, Ransom’s younger cousin, almost immediately. 

“Oh, Lady Y/N!” she said, smiling at you. She was probably the nicest of Ransom’s family, after Harlan of course. But you always had an odd feeling about her, that she would stomp on anyone to save her family, to save herself. Though, you supposed, you were family now. Maybe that meant something. “Or should I start calling you Her Royal Highness now?”

Your stomach turned into knots, and you prayed it didn’t show on your face. “Lady Meg,” you greeted. “There’s no need for that. If anything, you’re allowed to just call me my name.”

“It was a beautiful ceremony,” she said. “People will be talking about it for years to come.”

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. It was...the ceremony I always dreamed of.” But not the husband you had wanted. 

“If I may...” she began and, when you nodded, she continued, “I don’t think I’ve seen Ransom happier than when you were walking down the aisle.”

You frowned, thinking back to that moment. Had he looked happy? What had he even looked like? You’d been so focused on walking properly, on just making it through the day without having a breakdown. You’d barely even registered how he had looked through it all. But, thinking back now, you could recall his glassy eyes, the way his hand ran over his face as he tried to keep it together. But...why? This wasn’t the marriage he’d wanted either...Right?

“Really?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

She nodded. “Ransom has always been...well, Ransom. But he’s been more tolerable since you’ve came into his life. You make him a better man.”

That...was not what you were expecting. Had Ransom been acting during that? Trying to prove something to everyone, that this was a marriage of love and passion? But, would he care that much? You weren’t the bride he’d wanted, but you knew he wasn’t wholly unhappy with it. Not like you were. No, he...seemed to enjoy it, if just because his family got off his ass to some degree. Or, was there a chance that there could be something more to all of this? Something you hadn’t been expecting?

“Scram, Meg.” Oh, there he was. You turned, painting your smile on wider as Ransom’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close to him. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the side of your head, before turning his attention back to his cousin. “Go play with your dolls or something.”

“Ransom, play nice,” you chided. You wouldn’t normally care for what he did or said but...Well, you liked Meg. She was nice to you in a way that the rest of his family wasn’t. 

He rolled his eyes, but she didn’t stay long. She bid you goodbye before disappearing into the crowd. Once he had you to himself, his tense body relaxed slightly as he said, “Come with me. I have something to show you.”

You didn’t protest as he led you out of the ballroom, to the balcony overlooking the gardens. You looked up to the night sky, smiling at the twinkling stars. When you were little, you would spend hours in the garden at your parents’ summer home, just lying on the ground, committing the many constellations to memory.

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” you said.

“That’s not the reason I asked you here.”

You looked to him. “Then why?”

He said nothing, looking out at the horizon, his hand resting on the small of your back. And then you heard it. The high-pitched noise echoed in the quiet night, before the loud bang rang out. Bright, explosive colors filled the air, and your heart clenched. 

He’d remembered.

Months and months ago, when your engagement had been announced, Harlan had ordered fireworks be set off in celebration. You remembered looking out at them, childlike glee filling you from head to toe, as you’d whispered, “I would watch these every day of my life if I could.”

You hadn’t even thought he was listening. But he had, and he had remembered. And suddenly, you weren’t convinced you knew how things were going to be anymore. 

Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you looked up at him, a wobbly smile on your face. “Thank you.”

He cast you a look, raising his brow. “What for?”

“The fireworks? You...You didn’t...Oh.”

“Harlan set them up,” he said, looking away from you. It felt like your already fragile heart was breaking further. You wondered if you would have any pieces of it left by the time the night was over. “I figured I could at least show you his wedding gift to us.”

“...I should go thank him.”

“Give him my thanks, too.”

You gave him a curt nod, turning away and walking back inside to find Harlan. Ransom remained where he stood, looking out at the fireworks. He was an idiot. This...this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He had it all planned out. 

He was supposed to take you out to the balcony, tell you he had asked Harlan to set the fireworks up. Confess to you that he’d been scared, that you made him feel things he couldn’t even begin to describe. And how that scared him so badly. Tell you he hadn’t even done anything with your maid—he’d wanted to, wanted to distract himself from the way you make him feel. Seeing you walking down the aisle just made everything he was struggling with feeling escalate to the point that he was all too aware that you didn’t care for him the same way. That you probably never would. This was all just business to you, just like it had been for him. But, he didn’t want it to be like that anymore. When he tried to sleep with your maid...All he could think of was how she wasn’t you. 

Ransom walked back inside, looking over at you as you laughed at something Lord Levinson was saying. He wondered if Ari was the kind of man you would’ve chosen to marry, if Ari was the kind of man you could love. Neither you nor him would ever know. And it was all his fault. 

You could never love him. Not when he ruined everything you could’ve ever wanted for your life. He should consider himself lucky you weren’t outright hostile toward him, that you only ever met with polite indifference. 

This was the bed he’d made. And now he had to lie in it. 

*Cruorvina: from the Latin words “cruor” (blood) and  “vina” (wine), a play on Harlan’s publishing company, Blood Like Wine.

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

[princessofgayskull]

Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???

Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:

Me, reading this ask:

This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon. 

Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.

But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.

This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5. 

(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second) 

But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.

Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…

We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….

But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin. 

Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her. 

I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James. 

Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright. 

I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?” 

That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”

I think it’d look something like this. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048

what do you guys think?

quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.

[annabellenaughtyprincessrose]

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have  another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

[lenievi]

I think one problem I have and need to overcome when it comes to writing fanfics is that I’m hesitant to have characters show raw emotions, especially when they don’t in the source material because - even when it makes sense in my head and it makes sense in the story, at least imho - I feel like it would be ooc

that once I wrote a character doing something and asked someone if they would react this way and I was told “no” is probably a part of that too... thinking about it, a lot of the words this person said over the time, even unrelated to my writing, was quite damaging to the way I think about my writing because a lot of the time they just confirmed my worst fears about how people would react about certain things

I think writing stories with mainly Kirk and McCoy together helped me overcome some of that stuff (and also many people over the last two years commenting that they like my characterization, but I tend to always forget about those comments when I’m in the middle of writing...), because I don’t read tos!Kirk fics, so there’s literally no template I have to follow (and writing my The Conscience of the King missing scene and having people react positively, and no one being like “how dare you not follow Tarsus fanon or whatever” was also a positive experience that I hope will make the next thing I write easier to write)

but trying to write McCoy in romantic situations is always so ??? because in the show he’s either uncomfortable (Nancy, Natira) or I want to forget it ever happened because it makes me feel second-hand embarrassment and makes me uncomfortable (Barrows), so I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that when he is serious, he holds back and needs the other person to make advances, but when he’s not he’s just performing*, but I digress lol But the thing is that because I do read a lot of fics with McCoy, it’s hard to just write him without thinking, and with Kirk, it’s much easier

* although I guess this is the reason I always have Spock coming after McCoy lol

The problem is that it’s hard to get Kirk and McCoy together when both of them hold back LMAO (gotta write that fake dating to get them properly together)

on the other hand, I think there might also be some weird internalized ageism going on because sometimes I catch myself thinking that I could imagine aos!mc/k behaving in a certain way but not tos!mc/k but there’s literally zero reasons why the tos pair shouldn’t act that way too, so I need to work on that too. But as always, it isn’t even the problem of me imagining it, but mostly “what will others think” 

... but maybe with me also trying to draw stuff and not posting everything, I might convince myself to just try and write for myself, that there’s no need that others need to see it if I end up unsure about it after it’s finished

another thing that drawing taught me is that it’s okay to just stop after sketching something lightly, so it should also be okay to stop just after writing a random scene. a picture doesn’t need to be finished or perfect for me to feel good about it. a fic shouldn’t need to be plotty or long for me to feel happy about it. it doesn’t need to have a beginning or an end. it can just be three paragraphs. 

anyway idk what this is. it’s a mess, but I needed to work some things out. I’m gonna take a walk now and think about my next fic~