#I don't think that's what they meant but technically true

[wylanzahn]

How do you keep from Copy/Pasting existing Cultures into your Worlds?

Basically just as the title says, and I'm sure there's been pleeeeenty of discussion on the topic, but I'm genuinely curious what makes your cultures unique and original (especially when the modern aura of writing is "everything's been done"). Furthermore, is having a copy/paste culture a bad thing? For context, I'm primarily a Game Master (GM) who also on occasion writes as well as works in the TTRPG actualplay space. When you have an audience (whether friends or fans) is it necessarily a bad thing to have familiar locations, themes, and even characters that mimic real life? Can it be easier for an audience to just assume we're in "Ancient Rome" or "Habsburg controlled Austria"?

For me I do like creating totally original locations with their own weird political systems influenced by magic, gods, monsters, and anything else fantastical--BUT sometimes I find a setting is more interesting of just "what if Romans could directly interact with their deities?". For me I just find the idea of almost "alternate history" but in my uniquely fantastical setting interesting. However, I also understand that some people like genuinely different worlds with no trace of the real world left behind.

When creating unique cultures I try to combine elements to create something more unique. For example I'm currently working on the ancient periods of my current homebrew world, and specifically in a portion I haven't particularly worked on before. In Evrosea, a sort of "ancients world" where Greco-Roman culture lives on well into the medieval 15th Century (of course technology has changed and evolved) I find myself studying more ancient histories. I knew from before I fully began working on worldbuilding Erosea that there was some sort of "Roman Empire" which spread its tongue as a sort of lingua franca across the continent of Dulgren (aka why Common exists in my D&D world). Also originating from the region of Evrosea was the sorta monolithic pantheon of "new gods" (aka Catholicism). So I have the ideas of imperialism and religious importance in this region. So the very clear start was Rome itself, but how could I make this Rome unique? Well here's what I found from my research on Ancient Rome:

Many pre-settlers, and even contemporaries of Ancient Rome, in Italy were nomadic grazers and herders.

The Aeneid, which tells one of the many origin stories of Ancient Rome, ties in the ancient Greek tale of the Trojan War, and makes Rome the successors of Troy.

That many of their religious practices were tied up with the Senate (especially after the abolishment of the crown).

Finally, while perhaps never directly ruled by the Etruscans, their neighbors were much more confederate like and were similar in culture rather than being a unified people or kingdom.

Taking the information I found I twisted and jumbled much of this random history and constructed a group of nomads who controlled the fertile valleys of Uvemos (home region of the ancient Carinaens, my replacement for the Romans).

Many of these nomads worshipped similar sounding gods (if not outright the same gods), and most of them lived off the lands of Uvemos. Only a select few of whom ever settled into cities. However, long after the first nomads of Uvemos walked the hilly countryside arrived a band of pirates and raiders, terrors of the ancient world, many knew not their names, but they quickly accrued a nickname, "The Sea People" (see Sea Peoples on Wikipedia for more, TL;DR a bunch of random marauders who attacked or even helped cause the collapse of some Bronze Age Civilizations). One such pirate was said to be the Prince Laogonus, an exile from Apeiros, who was said to be a direct descendant of the God King Ulios himself. Laogonus settled down on the banks of Janian Sea in a small dirt settlement near to the roaming tribes of Uvemos. Many years later the small city of Carina was established as a blossoming trade hub by the many different tribes of Uvemians. Of these tribes was born a Chieftain's daughter, Aurora. Aurora was said to be descended from the god blood of Ulios, and when she prayed to her great grandsire on the eve of battle she was enveloped in holy light-- thus becoming the world's first cleric. Of her legacy were many rituals formed and practices established, and the civitas mille clericorum* was born.

*(civitas mille clericorum) meaning "city of a thousand clerics," named after the heavy religious undertones established by the first cleric Aurora, at least according to legend.

Super cool right?? I combined some other ideas than the ones I established such as the Sea People from the Collapse of the Bronze Age, as well as these kind of Shinto-like-beliefs in the Carinaen religion, which, to me at least, seems the most like what Ancient Roman beliefs would look like to us today (though I didn't really get to talk about in my blurb). I like taking existing pillars of cultures and extending them, now rather than just being a complete Roman rip-off there's more of this nomadic or tribal culture, at least to early Carinaen history, there's more of a nautical legacy (unlike Rome, who didn't establish a truly working navy up until the Punic Wars), and finally the city of Carina is a beacon for holy warriors and classes like Paladins and Clerics (again this is D&D so that's oriented towards that).

But tell me what you think, and how best do you come up with your fictional cultures/countries? Do you merely copy off of pre-existing cultures or do you fully work from the ground up? I'm super curious to hear what you all have to say!

I'm also tagging a couple friends since I'm curious of your responses @hessdalen-globe, @northernthiefcranberry, @kerghoulen, and the ever wonderful @somethingclevermahogony.

Also guys I need you to pull me out, I'm this close to dropping out of the arts and trying to get into Harvard to do Ancient Studies. Send Help.

[lys-jeorge]

Anyone wanna know an inconsequential BTS thing I always found a bit sus and for some reason just popped back into my brain?

Yeh? ok

When they're asked who the best dancer is and they all say J-Hope, now the other 6 all agreeing on this? I'd be suprised but it's not inherently sus, the sus is J-Hope. What's your answer my guy? Even if he thinks it's himself usually they have a someone other than themself answer they'll use, you'd think even if he wanted to say himself he'd say probably Jimin, but someone else, him not doing that is so like...

when they were rookies they were told this is what their answer should be, and they've stuck with it ever since.

[wheucto]

the way ii16 explodes several of my aus from being mostly canon compliant <3

[nessvn]

one of these days i am actually going to write that marzelline/raymonde fanfiction that i keep vaguely musing about. because two women from a random opera and an obscure french novel also deserve to be shipped in the same way you people will obsess over no-personality minor character white men

[narcjsistx]

𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐀 | OS

sae itoshi x fem reader ; words: 10k (10.051)

plot: having just arrived in spain, Sae notices that he's having trouble learning spanish. so he's advised to download an online game, but he never expected to play with the country's champion, who unexpectedly... is a girl?!. what if he has a crush on this girl who lives kilometres away from him?

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

SAE ITOSHI knew he was a genius, whether it was sports or anything else besides school. He was Japan's rising prodigy, having just moved countries just to undergo training that would bring him to absolute perfection. If that meant he wasn't a genius, then he didn't know what was. He had skills that kids his age didn't have, whether it was dribbling or simply passing the ball to a teammate, who was usually his younger brother Rin. He had the potential to become one of the best in the world, if not the best, at the tender age of 13, when the kids at his old school were still just starting to decide what to do as an after school job. He knew he was a genius, a prodigy

What he knew all too well was that school and its activities were not for him. Not that he did not have the ability, but objectively he had spent more time on the field than in the classroom since he was a child. The time that technically should have been spent at school was spent perfecting his technique or competing in some tournament in his prefecture, and all of this was impacting his ability to learn something new academically, like a new language. He was no longer in Japan

Japan and Spain were different

Japanese and Spanish were different

And of course, inside a football school in the center of Spain, in Madrid, he couldn't bring himself to speak Japanese anymore. For the first few days he tried, but no one understood him; then he tried with English, but that didn't work very well either. Sooner or later he would have to learn Spanish, and that moment had come true exactly one week after his arrival, when the coach had advised him to attend the free course that the school offered to foreign soccer players

He hated it, but he had started talking a little

"Mi nombre es Sae, mi apellido es Itoshi... mi deporte favorido es el futbol, yo soy un jugador de futbol de el club de el ReAl..." the boy repeats under his breath, writing down in his notebook the sentences that his mind formulates. Spanish was not like Japanese, which was written in a completely different way. It was a bit complicated, but he would never admit it out loud. Furthermore, he was the only one in his class, besides his teacher. The other foreign players had left, at least he knew that, already knowing a basic level of the language. Not him

"Still having trouble, Sae?" asks the man, leaning over to read the boy's notebook. He didn't dislike the professor, but his subject "No" says the boy, even though he doesn't yet know how to write the word 'apellido'. The teacher looks at the notebook for a few more seconds, then sighs as he sits down in the chair next to the boy, who watches him. He knew very well that he was stressing the man with his mistakes, very often made also due to few attention. He didn't blame him when he was nervous precisely because of him "You know, Sae... I think you have a problem with Spanish. I mean, you can write it pretty well and you're starting to speak it a little bit with the team members, I know that... but you're constantly forgetting it. You're forgetting the basics because you don't have something that's constantly pushing you to speak or write it" says the man, and this catches the attention of the little striker "Excuse me, what?" says the boy, seeing the man having a bit of difficulty explaining it to him "I don't even know how to explain it to you well. I've been teaching foreign members of ReAl for years but no one has ever been like you. You know, but you forget. You can say a sentence in perfect Spanish now and not know a basic rule of grammar in twenty seconds" says the man, and this makes the Japanese kid turn up his nose a little "Do you have proof of that?" asks "Can you tell me the names of the soccer roles in Spanish?" the man asks, and Sae thinks about it "Portero, centrocampista, defensor... atacante" says the boy, and the man nods "Good. And the '!' rule? How does it work?" he asks, and this time it's Sae who sighs. He doesn't even remotely remember it

The man nods, taking the notebook from him as he writes something on it "The '!' should be placed at the beginning of the sentence and at the end of the sentence, if it is an exclamation. At the beginning '¡' and at the end '!'" he writes and repeats aloud, and Sae can't help but admit that he's right. The room where they are both is silent for a few seconds, then the man writes something else in the notebook, placing it in front of him. Sae looks down, reading the name of something he has heard before "Futbolandia?" he reads aloud, and the man nods "It's an online game. It's about soccer, so you should like it. You can talk to other Spanish people while you play, or write in the chat, in Spanish of course. My daughter plays it, that's why I know it" the man says, and Sae looks at him a little perplexed "I've never played video games, not even when I was in Japan. I find them boring" he explains, but the teacher silences him almost immediately "You'll learn to love them. You want to become the best in the world, right? If you can't even beat a boss in this game, how can you expect to get to the Champions League?"

And so, in his dorm which was basically a small apartment, Sae was putting the game card into the console he had received thanks to the team staff. He still thought video games were boring, but proving the teacher right would have cost his dearly young ego. So he had spent a part of his salary to take this game online, which actually cost really little. Thanks to the internet he understood that it was simply a game where you were a soccer player without a salary, and the more you beat people online in random matches the more the teams offered money to join their team. The teams were real ones, like ReAl or the Italian Ubers, or even teams created by users. The more you entered a famous and rich league the higher your salary went, and once you reached a certain amount of fake money you could create your own team or become president of a group of teams. The game wasn't that boring, maybe

Sitting on the edge of his bed with the joystick in his hand the television turns on, revealing the game's start screen. After registration, an avatar appears that can be customized, and Sae had decided to change only the color of his hair, opting for a reddish color. He was a little more like his avatar now. He had started "play" immediately after, happening in the first game: they were all members probably newly registered like him, since they had no visible salary. There was voice chat open, but for the moment he preferred to remain silent: he heard people screaming in Spanish, and he understood little of what they were saying as they played. It wasn't time to talk

Unexpectedly, the game was more interesting than he thought. It had basic rules, but the online casual games were fun enough to play. And so, from having a zero salary, a few hours later his avatar already had the possibility of joining a team, since the real and created ones had made him offers. However, he had not yet spoken in the voice chat, still a little perplexed. As he waited for the new game to load, Sae noticed that his avatar had been matched with a much higher level team. The team was called "Kombucha Salty", which made him chuckle a bit. As the match begins, Sae notices how the team is noticeably very strong, but he also notices how the voice chat is calm, not full of shouts like he has always heard it until now. And until now he has always heard only male voices. Now, among the many, a female one stands out, and it's quite pretty. He doesn't even know why, but the calm reassures him that he can open the voice chat this time

"Hola" says the boy, and for a few seconds everyone is silent "What player are you?" asks a male voice "The number 27" replies Sae, and he can hear more than one person nodding "You're great" says someone else "Thanks" replies the boy, but he's trying to hear the female voice again, which has suddenly disappeared since he spoke. The match continues, the team scores the first goal "That was a good pass, right Y/n?" asks a male voice "It was!" the female voice replies

Sae, hearing the voice, stops moving the joystick for a few seconds. He hears the girl giggling, while she continues to play her game. It's strange to hear her talking among the many male voices surrounding her and her avatar, but it's as if he can separate her just to hear her voice. It is a particularly beautiful voice to his ears, which could easily be that of some singer; it's almost melodious, even though he has always heard many female voices, whether it is his mother's or his classmate's. But this one, this one he likes more than he normally should like a single voice

"Are you still alive, madridfan?" the voice asks, and Sae comes to life, moving his joystick "What? How did you call me?" he asks, and the female giggles "With your username. You have to earn a certain amount of salary to change it to a personalized one" she says, and her avatar passes the ball "I thought I had it set up differently. But then, why madridfan?" he asks, a little perplexed as he tries to steal the ball "The site creates the usernames by taking the position where the users play and putting the word 'fan' next to it. Are you from Madrid?" he asks, and Sae nods "I'm in Madrid at the moment" he replies, and the girl nods "Madrid is beautiful. My mother often sends me photos of the city, she lives there" the girl says, and Sae is intrigued "Aren't you from Madrid too?" he asks "No. I lived there for a little while when I was little, but I don't remember anything" the girl says, and her avatar freezes for a few seconds, then starts moving against the ball again "Do you like Madrid?" she asks, and he huffs a bit "Quite. I haven't visited it properly yet" he admits, stealing the ball as his avatar starts running, followed by the girl's "I thought you were born there. But you actually have a foreign accent. You speak good Spanish, though. You even know how to play this damn game" she replies, and he nods "Thanks. I'm Japanese, actually" he says, the ball approaching the net "Are you in Spain for a vacation?" she asks, stealing the ball "Sort of" he admits, and the girl giggles "Cool"

The game goes on in silence, proving quite difficult for both. Sae often tries to signal goals, but each time the girl's avatar steals the ball from him, passing it to another player. It's not stupid that she has such a high salary, after all she is really good. Also, the strange thing for him is that she is a woman: not that he has any prejudice, or maybe he does, but he has never seen soccer or online games about soccer as something for girls. The girls in his school preferred classic dance, instead of soccer. He has always been used to this, furthermore his prefecture did not have a women's soccer team. They were two opposite things for him, soccer and women

But this Y/n was damn strong at this game

The ball, in a last ditch attempt, is passed to a member of the team, who however has it stolen by a member of the girl's team, who immediately passes it to her. Her avatar runs so fast that it is impossible to catch up, while the ball quickly approaches the net, scoring a goal. The boys' voices explode in a satisfied scream while Sae, annoyed, puts the joystick down next to him. It was a pretty tough match, but he wanted to win, a bit like in everything he does. But when he hears the girl's carefree laughter, his annoyance vanishes a bit. The end of game appears on the screen, marking the last 5 seconds before voice chat closes. Sae doesn't know what to say, he was so fascinated by the girl's voice that he is surprised that now he has to abandon her, with the absolute certainty of not being able to hear her anymore. After all, these are random matches, there is little or no chance of ending up in a match a second time. It all started and ended in less than 15 minutes, that perhaps marked him a bit

He didn't even know why he was reacting this way, so out of character. Maybe it was the lack of home that made him react this way. Maybe the voice sounded a little like his mother's or Rin's, that's why he was so surprised. After all, he had left Japan relatively recently. Maybe this really was the cause, even if he didn't believe it was

The game officially closes voice chat, displaying Sae's profile screen, complete with his avatar and a slight increase in his salary. The girl is officially gone, her voice no longer filling his dorm room. Sae feels a strange sensation in his chest, he can't explain how and it bothers him; he's never been good with words, he knows that, but why can't he explain to himself this sudden attachment to such a trivial thing, a voice?. It's as if, since he arrived here, these 15 minutes were the most peaceful he's ever lived. He would never admit it, but his life is so complicated now that he often doesn't even have time to think. It's different from being at home in Japan, with Rin scoring goals thanks to his passes and the crowd cheering every time the ball ends up in the net. Here he has even more precise timetables than he already had in Japan, and although he got used to them right away, sometimes he finds it tiring to do everything, whether it's training or just spending time in the cafeteria with his teammates. This voice, on the other hand, seemed to have calmed him down, letting him think and breathe. It's so strange

So, while he picks up the joystick again, he decides to at least look at the girl's profile. He goes to the section of users he has recently interacted with, and clicks on the icon that resembles that of the girl's profile: what is shown before his eyes is practically the perfect account, probably one with such high ratings that he has never seen anywhere else. The account features all kinds of things available from the game, be it uniforms or special badges, while above the girl's avatar appears a writing that surprises Sae even more "#1 Official of Spain", title inserted by the game itself. He expected her to be strong, he had seen her playing, but not that strong. Yet, the title stood out on the account tab, which made Sae even more curious about the girl

On her profile she was listed as the president of the largest group of teams in Spain, president of 15 of the 25 in the league. Her salary had 10 zeros, making the number even difficult to pronounce. She was listed as having been in charge of the title for more than 6 months, while the registration had only taken place 10 months before. If this wasn't strange or surprising, Sae didn't know what was. How could she have come up with such a title in such a short time? How much time did she actually spend on the video game? Was she one of those unemployed adult women who found satisfaction in online games?

Nah, she couldn't have been an adult. Her voice was too shrill for that, maybe she was even younger than him. But this was impossible, since the minimum age of the game was 13, so maybe she was a little older than him. This did not change how surprising the result was, so surprising that Sae didn't immediately notice the notification at the side of the screen

"Kombucha Salty" offered you a new salary"

Without even seeing the offer, Sae had clicked accept. He didn't even know why he was doing that, after all, what were the chances that it was that girl who sent him the offer? Besides, only presidents were allowed to send offers, and he wasn't sure if she was the president of that team

The console screen showed the page dedicated to the team he had just joined, marking which members were active and which were not. The team's personal voice chat was open, but did not show who was in. Honestly, he didn't really care about making a fool of himself if he went in and out once he was sure she wasn't in the voice chat, he just cared about hearing her voice again and knowing she was there. Maybe he was exaggerating, after all he didn't know anything about her and the team, but there was something in him that told him he had to check, and now

Entering the chat, Sae noticed that no one was talking about soccer, but more about very random things, like school. There were about 5 or 6 people online, but he immediately recognized the girl, who was probably talking to a friend of hers. As soon as he entered many fell silent, everyone but her "You again, madridfan?" the girl asks, but not in a mean tone, more in a joking way. Sae nods, a little uncertain "Me again. Someone offered me entry to the club" the boy says "It was me" the girl says, and Sae can swear that for the first time since he's been here in Spain, he feels a small smile form on his lips. Luckily it's all online, it would have been embarrassing to see him smile "Oh. Thank you"

The girl giggles, a sound that makes the boy's muscles relax a bit "You were pretty strong in the game, I must admit! We only want strong members here, members who hate Kombucha"

This is the comment that makes Sae frown. He loves Kombucha, it's practically his favorite thing in the world. Especially the salty one, it's delicious

"The club name is misleading. I thought you liked Kombucha... not that I do" he says, and she nods "I know. That's why the group is strong, because we create confusion!" she says happily, and some of the men laugh with her. It's not exactly the answer he was expecting, he didn't even expect to lie about his tastes, but at the moment doing so seems like the right option. Sae nods, thinking a bit "I see. Cool" he says, and the girl seems a little uncertain "Don't tell me you like Kombucha" she says, and he shakes his head as if she can see it "No" he says, and she snorts "You're not telling me the truth!" he says, and Sae is a little in trouble "What would be the consequences?" he asks, and he hears her giggle "The enormous wrath of the champion of Spain" she says, and this makes him relax a little "I can't imagine how big it's. Bigger than the whole Japan" he says, and she laughs even louder "Of course! Wait, which is bigger, Japan or Spain?" she asks, and this makes the boy think a little, confused "I think Spain?"

In that moment, Sae hears his phone ring. He turns around, noticing the time on the screen: he should have been at practice for 5 minutes already, yet he is still sitting on his bed, and the coach is calling him. Before he even has a chance to hear the girl respond, he disconnects the voice chat, grabbing his phone and his workout bag, and storming out of his apartment. He was never late, he was always punctual, and yet that simple girl had made him lose track of time. He hated being late, but now he hated not being able to hear the girl's voice even more. It was strange, all

So, during the 4 consecutive hours of training, Sae did nothing but think about this strange situation. While kicking the ball he thought about how the girl could be physically and character wise, and he didn't know why but he imagined her with short black hair. She was probably a little older than him, maybe 15, but he wasn't sure. He just knew he wanted to talk to her one more time, and then another, and another. She had completely changed the cold and weird nature of the boy, who maubey was looking for a minimum of affection and compliments, the ones he was used to at home in Japan, from someone. And that someone seemed to be her, suddenly

Back in his apartment, hours later, he remembered that he had left the console with the game on. He had been running, so it remained as he had left it. It wasn't that strange after all, but as he approached the screen he noticed how there was a +1 on the private chat, something he had never used. It could have been anyone, right?

"I checked, and Spain is bigger"

The bag hit the floor as he reached for the joystick, typing the letters as quickly as possible

"I expected that. Although I think there is little difference between the two countries. Maybe Japan has more inhabitants"

"I don't think so"

She was also quick to respond to his messages

"I should be worried about having... wait, your name is Y/n, right?"

"Yeah! Can I know yours? Maybe you heard mine from other members of the voice chat"

"My name is Sae. Yes, I heard it from other members. I hope it doesn't bother you"

"Why should it bother me? I'm chiller than you think"

"I see. I expected more aggression from the country's champion"

"Only with those who don't cooperate with me during the random games. Usually I don't even bother talking, I just laugh"

"Cool"

"Do you only know how to use cool at your age?"

"You don't even know how old I am"

"I think about 15. Maybe less"

"I have 13, actually"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THE SAME AGE AS ME???"

"are you 13 too?"

"YEAH!!!"

"I thought you were a few years older than me, honestly. But your high pitched voice gave my theory away"

"Is it really that high pitched? I thought you were older just because of your tone of voice, but maybe it's just the Japanese accent that makes it deeper than it really is"

"It could. Do you understand Japanese?"

"You're the first Japanese person I know, honestly. I've never left Spain and I speak English well... but that's it"

"It's not a small thing to know two languages. I know Japanese because well, I am, but my Spanish is not that good. For now"

"I think the opposite, honestly! You have really good pronunciation, maybe just a little bit in the grammar when you speak... but it doesn't really show that much"

"I have to improve. I have little time to do it"

"Before returning to Japan?"

"More or less"

"I can help you. If you have time, we can play a few games together before I go to sleep. Only if you teach me a little about Japan, though"

"Yes, it can be done. Which server?"

"Wait, I'll send you the link"

This girl was strange, but strangely so easy to get along with. Bedtime games had turned into all night gaming sessions, something Sae had never done; he held his nightly routine sacred, yet it was 2:00 AM and he was still talking to this girl on voice chat, playing yet another game. He wasn't tired, he liked listening to her talk and helping him with his pronunciation. Also, he had the chance to speak Japanese again after a long time, so it was fine with him. The conversations were calm, not going on any serious topic, at least not for that moment: the girl had told him about another girl in her school that she couldn't stand, and he had told him about his younger brother Rin, who he teased about his chubby cheeks. They were normal things, as teenagers as they both were, and yet they sounded so important to Sae's ears, that he didn't miss a single word that came out of the girl's mouth. Maybe he reacted like this, with so much attention, because he actually had no one to talk to about the normal things of adolescence, neither here nor at home

At home in Japan, he was the budding striker prodigy, already famous for his nascent career

Here in Spain the other teenagers like him were busy training for the team of ReAl

Everyone, both at home and here, treated him for what he was, a prodigy. No one treated him for what he really was but which he also hid a little because of his cold nature, that is, a simple teen

Yet this girl didn't know who Sae was, she didn't know anything about him. She didn't treat him differently. They were just chatting like two teenagers would, with an unusual, at least for him, tranquility. It wasn't a given, not at all

"I think I have to go to sleep. We can play tomorrow afternoon, if you want" says the girl after yet another match won, while Sae has tired and sleepy eyes "I don't know if I'm free. In the evening?" he asks, and she nods while her avatar goes offline "Okay. Goodnight, Sae"

The boy turned off the console, while he too was hugging the warm blankets, with the noise of the cars of Madrid in the background. He had recently downloaded that game and yet he was already thinking that it had been one of the best decisions of his life. He would think about the tiredness due to the lack of hours of sleep when he woke up

The next morning, while he was lazily getting ready for practice, he turned on the console just out of curiosity. Not for any reason in particular... maybe. Or at least he liked to believe so. And just as he was logging into the game, a notification appeared on the screen. It came from her

"You didn't specify whether you go to school or not, but if so, have a good day!"

"Thank you. You too"

And so, for the next two weeks after that night, Sae found himself spending every night locked in his dorm, voice chat on and a few drops of eye drops. He had started skipping gym before going to sleep, or rushing to dinner at the canteen, just to turn on the console before. He always played with her, both as a duo and as a team, but honestly he didn't care much about the mode, he just liked hearing her voice and hearing her laugh every time a move went wrong. She treated him like he was normal, while outside that room everyone was scrutinizing him every second of his life; it was a way to break away from the expectations of an entire nation, or maybe two, to be with her. Maybe he was getting soft, he who for 13 years of his life had categorically hated video games, all because of a single voice to which he didn't even give a face, given that in fact neither of them had ever spoken about themselves in an extremely personal way. Not that it weighed on him that much, but he was extremely curious to see who this voice belonged to, which he was starting to dream about even at night, in the few hours when the console was off

“Can I ask you something?” the girl asks, and Sae pauses the game “Tell me” he says, a little curious “Would it be weird if I asked for your phone number? We could just talk... more, if you want"

If this was the god of soccer who was pardoning him after years of pure sacrifice towards this sport, Sae had to thank him, really deeply

"It's not a problem. I'll write it to you in chat" says the boy, but he can't repress the little smile that has formed on his lips, which haven't curved like this for a while now. A small, chuckle can be heard from the voice chat, and Sae couldn't ask for more. What the hell was happening to him?

A few hours later, with his console off and one more contact on his phone, Sae was lying on his bed talking to the girl. He still had to read the messages his parents and his brother Rin had sent him, but he had promised himself that he would do it shortly before falling asleep. Talking to her through messages wasn't that different in the end, but deep down he liked the fact that it was their chat, and that no one else but the two of them had the chance to see what they were talking about. Not that they were serious topics, no, not that yet, it was already a miracle that she had given him her number, honestly if he had been in the same situation he wouldn't have trusted it online. But she was her, he didn't know her very well yet but she didn't seem like a bad person to him. He had never trusted the online world so much, in Japan it was often a place for perverts or anime fanatics, which disgusted him a little, not for the fact itself but for the way these weirdos behaved. It was a bit of a strange place, and even if he wanted to he didn't have time, at home, to be online: if in Japan there were many training sessions, here they had tripled

"Anyway. Do you have any other friends online?"

"You're the first. I've never been online, actually. I didn't have the time or the inclination, honestly"

"This is not cool. I practically live online! jk, but I spend a lot of time there. So I'm your first friend?"

"If you want to put it that way, yes"

"This is cool tho! Wait, so you don't know much about friendship stages, right?"

"Not very much. Zero"

"OH. so you don't know about face reveals or voice reveals...? we skipped the voice stage, but okay. it's normal"

"I don't know anything about it"

"Then, wait"

Before he realized it a picture of a girl appeared on his screen. It was her, it was definitely her. And hell, to say she was beautiful was an understatement, he hadn't expected that. I mean, she was pretty, sure, but this was beyond his standards. She had done it so unexpectedly that he remained staring at her for a few seconds, practically enchanted. He had seen many girls his age but perhaps now the spanish girls, especially her, had an extra place on his list. He noticed the second message after at least a minute

"This is me. It's a face reveal. You don't have to do it, just do it when you feel ready!"

And before he even knew it, he was already sending a photo of himself, one from a few days earlier. Not that there was much difference

"It's okay?"

"MORE THAN OKAY. I imagined you with dark hair, but you're cute, Sae!"

He had received many compliments, but all about his talent, about his ability to play without appearing tired. Never about his physical appearance, it wasn't common

"My brother and my father have dark hair. I could have taken after them"

"Wait, no! I like your reddish. it's special. now I understand why you put your hair that way, on your avatar"

"You are right"

It was from that moment that Sae began to realize that he had a soft spot for that girl. Y/n was simple, she didn't know who he really was, she treated him like no one else treated him. He liked being thought of as normal, at least in his room, when he was on a call with the girl. He could easily be the prodigy of Japan outside his dorm and still be Y/n's online friend. He liked the balance that had transformed during the first weeks, which had now transformed into three months. It was a bit of a special time for Sae, soon he would have his first U-18 match as a member of ReAl. He wasn't anxious, he trusted in his knowledge, but he was worried about something else, something that seemed huge to him, like a big heavy rock: he didn't know if she followed soccer. In fact, she had never said anything very personal about herself, maybe she was reserved in that aspect. Not that he cared. But it was strange, considering how extroverted she was about the rest of things. What would he have done if, by chance, she had seen him?

"Shall we play tomorrow afternoon?" the girl asks, her microphone not receiving the signal well. He has the match tomorrow afternoon, and he's worried about her finding out, not about the match "I... I don't think I can. No, I'm not there" he says, scratching the back of his neck "You usually can! You have something important, you have to meet a girl?" she says jokingly, but he immediately approaches the microphone "NO. I just have to... do some things. I probably won't be there until the afternoon after" he says, but he hears a jolt from the other end "I understand. See you then"

The girl left the game. Silence

Perhaps a more convincing and kind excuse should have been used, since he hadn't explained himself well and perhaps even seemed rude

Maybe Y/n was angry?

Holy shit.

And so, a few hours later on the ReAl bus, Sae felt practically dead. Maybe Y/n had been offended, and besides, tomorrow would be his birthday; he wanted her wishes, yet he was convinced that he would not receive them. He was worried, but he didn't show it outwardly. Not that he had ever done so in the last 13 years of his life, but that wasn't the point. Maybe he should have written to her, asked her if she was offended or even apologized directly. But that wasn't his style. So Sae played the whole match with a little discomfort in his chest, not so big as to confuse him from the main objective, the victory, which happened with a good score of 3-1, with a goal scored by him. The cameras had been filming him since he'd practically entered the field, his name had been shouted so many times by the commentators that the walls probably knew his name by now. If this was a way for Y/n to find out, even though he still hoped not, he was doing it perfectly. Damn. He was hating soccer a little bit

He didn't get his phone back until after midnight, only realizing it was his birthday. He was officially 14, and Y/n hadn't wished him a happy birthday...

"When were you thinking of telling me you were a soccer player? A good one, I must admit"

"You found out"

"Well, my sister is a ReAl fan. The game was also important. When I saw you, I had a shock"

"I can understand it"

"Why didn't you tell me you were famous?"

Maybe it wasn't the right time. But he had to

"You're the only one who treats me like a teenager. Others treat me like a prodigy, you don't. And it's nice to be normal, at least when I talk to you or when we play. I thought you'd change your attitude if you found out"

"I wouldn't have any reason to, Sae. None. I treat you for who you are, for how you deserve to be treated, I'm sorry that it's not a given for you. But you don't have to worry about me, because for me you're just Sae, not Sae Itoshi"

"It's not a given for me. Thank you"

"Please don't lie to me anymore. I hate it when people do that, especially people I care about them so much"

It was strange to feel butterflies in his stomach. For him, at least, it was strange. He didn't even know why he was reacting that way

"And I forgot, happy birthday ♡"

Maybe he knew why she was reacting that way. Maybe he didn't just have a soft spot for her

If the first months were like that, the following ones became the confirmation, at least for him, that perhaps he felt love for her, just for her: he was sure it wasn't even a crush, because he knew it was different. He was really in love, and it worried him a little. He knew about the beautiful side of love, the one where you kiss and hug; his parents loved each other, and often when they kissed he and Rin were disgusted. Sae preferred to run on the beach near the house with a ball between his feet, not to give kisses to anyone, not that he had anyone. But that was in the past, before he came to Spain and met her. The problem was that he didn't even know what love was, since he had never experienced it before: he knew the practice, but after? What happened?. But the problem was that there wasn't even the possibility of practice here, since he was in Madrid and she was in Seville, so many kilometers away

During the other months, she had told him a lot about herself: she lived in Seville, her parents were divorced but still on good terms, her parents worked between Madrid and Seville, especially his mother who was a photographer. She lived with his older sister, who was 21 years old. She was a few months younger than him and loved to keep her hair loose. Also, despite being the champion of the game, she didn't even know how to kick a ball in real life. It was all information that he had recovered over time, thanks to calls and other, but which was important to him, very important

They were separated by 530km, a distance that more than once he had thought of eliminating by using a part of his salary, taking that damned plane ticket that he had saved a few months ago. He wanted to see her, smell her hair, have the chance to hug her. He simply wanted to be for a while by her side, and not on the other side of a screen that often didn't work due to the connection. He simply wanted the chance to hold her hand, if she had ever let him

"I don't think I've ever told you something" the girl says, the screen showing her face as she paints her nails "Remember Kombucha Salty?" she asks, and Sae nods as she heads toward the team's infield "Remember what I told you back then?" she asks, and he rolls his eyes "That was 2 years ago. I don't remember that well" the boy says, and the girl laughs "Okay, we've known each other for a long time, but it seems like a stretch not to remember. Is the color nice?" the girl asks, holding up her reddish nails to the screen. Sae looks at them, nodding "Nice. What were you saying?" he says, and she composes herself "Oh, right. I told you I didn't like kombucha, because I hated it" she says, and Sae suddenly remembers. Actually, she doesn't know that it's his favorite drink, he never told her before that statement "I remember" he says, coming into the infield "Well... I lied to you. I really like kombucha, especially the salty kind! But... I wanted to look cool in front of you, I don't even know why. It's stupid, I was stupid at the time. But now I think about it and I actually never admitted it to you" she says, and Sae's eyes widen a bit "Do you like Kombucha?" he asks surprised, then goes back to his usual demeanor "I like it, I like it a lot. Too bad that here in Seville they make it disgusting, it tastes like shit" she says, and he chuckles internally at her comment "Can I tell you a revelation too?" he asks, and she nods "I love Kombucha too" he says, and this time she's the one who's surprised "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" she asks through the phone, and he nods "Very serious. They make it pretty good in Madrid, I must admit" he says "Fucking lucky, as usual. I want it too" she says, disconsolate

Seeing her like this, Sae can't help but tease her in her head. She's so damn adorable when she does that, whether it's for this or anything else

"As soon as you come to Madrid I'll take you to the place where they do it best. So you can say I'm right he says, but his comment almost seems like an invitation to a possible date. Sae notices how the girl has gone silent, but also the way she's smiling through the screen "I would love to" she says, poorly hiding her embarrassment

If only she knew how much he really wants to do this, take her everywhere, where she wants. If only she knew how much teasing her makes him laugh

"You know, I was thinking" he says, trying to fill the silence that had arisen "I was wondering, we'll see each other sometime, right?" he asks "Well. I think so" she says, yet looking a little uncertain, in Sae's eyes "You think so? Not sure?" he asks, and she snorts "I mean, it will happen sooner or later. But... I can't explain it to you. We've known each other for two years and I trust you, but it would be strange to meet you in person" she says, and this raises an eyebrow to the boy "What do you mean?" he asks, a little defensively "I'm used to the idea of you online, or rather, of the Sae I know. Not the one who plays for ReAl and who kicks the ass of some foreign team every month" she says, and even though her answer makes him chuckle a little, he's not convinced "You didn't answer my question" he says, and the girl seems to be a little under pressure "Forget it" she says, but this makes Sae a little nervous "I'd rather talk about it, and now. Don't you want to see me?" he asks

He doesn't even know why he's getting so nervous, since it's not something he does that often. But the uncertainty in Y/n's eyes doesn't affect him very well. Maybe there's something wrong that he doesn't know about

The girl looks down, nervously playing with a lock of her hair. It's like she's nervous like him, but for other reasons "I want to see you, Sae. But there are other reasons..." she says "What?" he asks

"I don't know whether to hug or kiss you"

If he had been nervous before, now his body was paralyzed. He didn't even want to understand if he had heard the words correctly, perhaps they had come out strangely due to connection problems. But no, it couldn't be. She had said what she had said, and damn, this surprised him so much that for the next 10 seconds he held his breath, as if he were underwater. But actually, since he had known her, he had always been under water: it bothered him to admit that he had grown fond of her in a few hours, that they had now known each other for 2 years, and that for the past 1 year he had considered her as more than just a friend. But Sae wasn't familiar with love, he didn't know how it worked with a person by his side, and above all she wasn't by his side. But actually, at the beginning, he wasn't even familiar with Spanish, which he now spoke perfectly. Could he do the same method with this too, even though she was so far away from him?

And then, after this, he didn't even know what she really thought. He had imagined it many times, but he had always preferred not to talk about it. He had often wondered if he even liked her a little, but she often mixed irony with seriousness, so it was difficult to understand her. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes he didn't. It was in one of these moments, a fairly important one

"Sorry, what?"

"I'm sorry" she says, a little panicked, bringing the phone closer to her face "Forget it. Pretend that I never said anything, that this conversation never started-" she says "Stop. We can talk about it tonight, calmly ?" he asks. He sees her sigh heavily, a little defeated, as she nods. The phone call ends like this, with her hanging up

The training he was participating in wasn't working. There were another 4 hours left before he could talk to her, lock himself in his dorm and finally clarify the situation: would he have declared himself? He didn't know, although he was considering the option. He knew Y/n, and beyond her usual irony, she really seemed very serious when she said it, and the subsequent panic had betrayed her false irony a bit. He didn't know how to feel, honestly: anxious, maybe a little, but more perplexed. He wasn't afraid to declare himself, he would have done it sooner or later anyway, but the sentence she had said, in that unexpected way, had completely paralyzed him. He had been perpetually anxious for months and months about making strange comments that might have made him disgusting in her eyes and she had come out like that?. Maybe he really didn't know her that well, if he hadn't read her language for so long to understand that, maybe, she had feelings for him too, like him

But if he had eventually declared himself, what would have happened? Would they get together like a couple? Would she have rejected him?

And if they became a couple, how would they make it work? There were the kilometers as obstacles, like the walls that Sae smashed, in his head, when he headed towards the net to score a goal. Would it have been an online relationship?

He was too serious a person to even be anxious about this. He was fucking Sae Itoshi, yet he was becoming a softie for a girl he met online

Maybe he had always been a softie and never realized it, ignoring it by playing soccer in Japan

So finally, without having had dinner, Sae found herself locking himself in his room, once again skipping his nightly gym time. It was anxiety, she hadn't written to him since she hung up and that was unusual, as she often texted him even when she knew he couldn't reply. Without even taking off his sweatshirt he threw himself on his bed for calling the girl, who he sincerely hoped would answer. He didn't know what was going on in her head, maybe she didn't want to talk about it

"Hey" says the girl's voice. She was lying on her bed, little plushies surrounding her while her hair was a mess. She was gorgeous. Sae clears his throat "Hey. Have you eaten?" he asks, and she nods, sighing "Look, can we talk about it right now? I've been dying of anxiety since it happened this afternoon, I've spent hours believing you hated me... wait, you don't hate me, right?" she says, sounding almost sad. He chuckles, mollified by her behavior "Obviously not. If I hated you, I wouldn't have called you back to talk about it" he replies, and she seems to breathe a sigh of relief "Thank goodness. So... what should we say?"

Admitting right away that he had loved her for so long was maybe not the right option, at least not at the moment. Even if he was tempted to do so

"You said something pretty important today" he says, a little hard to explain "It's not something you'd say to a friend, I think. You were serious or?" he continues, waiting for an answer. Through the screen he sees her in a bit of difficulty, biting her nails "Would it be a problem if I said I was serious?" she says, and he can practically feel his heart beating so hard it might pop out of his ribcage "Oh" he says, but curses himself when he sees her getting agitated "Is that a problem?" she asks nervously, but he shakes his head "No. It wouldn't be. Sorry, you took me by surprise" he says, trying to find the right words "What does that mean though...? Is that what I think?"

She didn't know the answer. Sae saw real, pure difficulty in her eyes, as if she had a block she wanted to overcome but it was too big for her

"Look. Can I speak first?" he says, trying to help her. She nods, frowning her eyebrows "Go"

Maybe it really was the right time

"I'll try to be as direct as possible, you also know how much I don't like not being precise. It's quite simple to explain it to you, but I admit that I'm having trouble too... the reality is that I like you, and quite a lot. And it's not something new, I think I've been in love for a year and a half now if not more... the truth is this. I didn't tell you before for the simple fear of distancing you, and distancing the only person who treats me like 'Sae' and not 'Sae Itoshi' might have made things a little heavier for me. I don't know exactly how you feel, but well, if you feel the same way about me I would seriously like to be your boyfriend, Y/n. Not just yours friend. But I can't read your mind, so, how do you feel about me?"

If this was the feeling of lifting a heavy boulder off your shoulders, Sae was experiencing it right now. It had taken so little, yet it had explained everything he had felt all this time. He was more peaceful, but he had yet to hear her words

"It's just that I like you too, Sae. And a lot. A big lot, I don't even know how to quantify it. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I won't deny that once I even dreamed of us kissing... maybe that's when I realized that you weren't just a simple crush. The problem is that distance scares me"

His heart was abandoning him. Maybe he was dying, but at least from happiness

“I can understand that. But I... I want to make things work. I seriously care about you, about us, about what could happen if we were a couple"

"Me too. But... how do we do it?"

“Let the time take effect and my wallet get some money out to make me come to you?”

"That might work. But..."

"I'm just as scared as you are. But I trust how I could make you happy"

That's when Sae knew he finally had his first girlfriend. Maybe he was dead and didn't realize it, but he was happy, fucking happy. He was probably so happy that in his life he had never felt a sensation like that, the one that perhaps his parents also feel when they kiss. He was with the girl he loved and he honestly couldn't ask for anything better than to have her in his arms. He really cared about her so much, he didn't want to make things difficult or burdensome for her: he seriously wanted to make her happy, the happiest

He was inexperienced, for the first time in his life he seriously didn't know what to do, many times he had doubts about how being in a relationship actually worked; but he saw you smiling, so maybe he was doing something right. You spent more time on the call, each on your own business, but you both liked the idea of having the other watching you. It was as if you were in the same room, but chilometres apart: he cooked, you did your skincare, he trained alone and you studied. Distant, but present, and you were fine with that

After less than a month, the girl was the first to say 'I love you', even though they both knew they had been doing it for a long time. But that was just absolute proof that Sae had to do what he had in mind since day one: go to her. The problem is that she was studying and he couldn't go so far from Madrid, due to special training and monthly matches. Furthermore, the campus was very strict with the players, who only rarely let them out on off days. And Sae was certainly no exception, he had the same rules as everyone

But the opportunity presented itself when they had already been together for two months: Y/n was going to be in Madrid for a week, to spend time with her parents. Sae nearly choked on his dinner food when she told him the news: they would meet, he would finally have the chance to hold her in his arms, and if she wanted, he would even kiss her. Sae's family didn't know he was with a girl, while she had mentioned that only her father knew, because he was the parent she trusted slightly more in matters like these, but he honestly didn't care. If her father would have asked him to show up, he would have done so. He didn't want to tell his family or the world because he simply believed it wasn't the time, not because he was ashamed of her: he simply believed it was his thing, his only thought, he was famous, but he also had a private life. He wanted to enjoy his privacy with his pretty girlfriend

"Are you already in Madrid?"

"Yes! the taxi is taking me to where my father works, I will stay there for about an hour and then after I will arrive to you"

"Allright. I can't believe it"

"ME NEITHER!! are we really going to see each other in an hour after spending almost 3 years writing to each other online? :<"

"It's happening. I can't wait"

"I can hug you as soon as I see you, right?"

"Only if I can kiss you afterwards"

"Acceptable. CAN'T WAITTT"

"Me neither. See you soon, love"

"You can count on it! love u ♡"

But Sae had decided that he would show up there well in advance; he wanted to get her some flowers and maybe a cold drink, since it was damn hot. As he left his dormitory and walked across the ReAl campus, the boy was realizing how it was so unexpected and yet so beautiful. He knew he loved her, that he wanted to make her happy, to simply stay by her side until the moment he could no longer due to greater forces, such as death. To him, she had become everything in such a short time that he wondered how he had managed to keep his feelings private for so long: he had deprived himself of the love of the most fantastic girl in the world out of a stupid fear, yet now they were an actual couple, she was his girlfriend and he was her boyfriend, the first for both, and hopefully the last. But to put a ring on her finger maybe he would have to wait a few more years, maybe 10, even though he was still convinced that she was the one

As he walked towards the exit of the campus, he noticed how the teacher who had made him download Futbolandia was walking towards the class he still managed for foreign students: Sae hadn't attended that class for a long time now, he now knew Spanish as like his native language, yet it was thanks to that man that he had met the one who was currently his girlfriend. He had never been someone to say thank you to someone, but maybe he had to this time. He absolutely had to

"Profe, I have to tell you-" says the boy as he approaches, but is petrified when he sees who is a few steps away from the teacher “Y/n, my daughter. How was the flight, dear?"

In front of him, less than 5 meters away, was his girlfriend, there was his Y/n, and, if he understood correctly, she was his teacher's daughter

Sae didn't need to say anything, the girl automatically turned around recognizing the sound of the voice. They looked at each other, this time without a screen dividing them; they could see their reflection in each other's eyes, smell their scent, the way they were dressed entirely. The boy's heart had left his chest, perhaps to go and take the girl's hand, who had also abandoned her body. It was as if, although surprised by the discovery, for him now only she existed, only and exclusively her among all the billions of people in the world. He was in love, he really was

"Sae, what are you doing here-"

Neither of them heard the teacher's words, as they threw themselves into each other's arms: as if automatically the boy's hands ended up on the girl's hips, while her arms tightened around his neck, in such a sweet embrace to be special. The contact, what they had sought for so long, they were finally experiencing: for Sae, the girl's smell and warmth was hid new favorite sensation, as her skin tightened under his hands, holding her as close to him as possible, as if afraid she might go back behind the screen. He couldn't believe it was finally happening, after dreaming so many times that he could do it; finally, everything he wanted was here, here with him and only him

And even before he realized it, Sae was already lifting her chin so he could kiss her, as if he wanted to finish everything off by putting the icing on the cake. Her lips were soft, sweet, fresh; if this was heaven, the world cup, anything he liked, he wanted to be left like this, with his girlfriend hugging him. It was a kiss that he had often imagined, and that he was now experiencing with an emotion that almost made his stomach weak, due to the butterflies. Everything was perfect, she was perfect, his love for her was perfect. Perfection, for him, was this moment

When they broke away, Sae couldn't help but hide the smug smile on his lips, which was small compared to her girlfriend's "Maybe you should have told me about this detail about your father" says the boy, caressing her face "Maybe. But I didn't know it either until a few minutes ago"

"You're here"

"I'm here because I love you"

Sae finally turned to his teacher, the girl still held tightly in his arms. He wouldn't let her go easily

"Did you see, Profe? I learned Spanish"

[zephyrchama]

Do you ever wonder if the Devildom has silly celebrity TV competitions like The Masked Singer?

A bright green peacock costume graced the TV's screen. The costumed celebrity gripped a microphone and swayed as he sang, commanding all attention from the audience.

"This guy's got a great set of pipes." Mammon was on the edge of his seat humming along to the classic tune. "Twenty grimm says he wins the whole season. And another twenty grimm says that it's Chort."

Satan raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that's Chort. Could he even sing? Plus, didn't he disappear because of his massive debts?"

Belphegor nodded. "I heard he's been trying to dig a river for the last six hundred years. The show's hints made this guy seem pretty great. I think it's Vapula.

"You think?" Satan rested his head on his hand and listened. "He's really good."

Hundreds of long feathers splayed out gracefully from the back of the perforner's costume, as if hypnotizing the viewers.

"I'm tellin' ya, it's Chort. He's probably on here to sweep the competition and pay off his debts. Not a bad plan." A scheme began to take shape in Mammon's brain. "If I call these production guys, they'll be beggin' to have someone like me on next season."

Asmodeus laughed, "you? Maybe in a few seasons after me. I know they're waiting to bring me on as a special guest."

"Wait, really?" Leviathan was only watching in case somebody sang an anime or game cover. Most of the time, he was boredly scrolling his phone and making technical remarks about the costumes. "C-can you take song requests?"

"It's not official yet " Asmodeus clarified, "but I know they'll want me on the show in due time. I'm just worried the mask will hide my true beauty."

The singer finished his performance with a dab and a bow. After racous applause began an excessively long commercial break. Interest in the room dwindled. Nobody cared much about curse insurance.

You hugged a cushion to your chest. Being unfamiliar with Devildom celebrities meant you couldn't play along, but listening to everyone's guesses was still enjoyable.

"That guy reminds me of Lucifer."

Belphegor and Satan made faces like they had just swallowed a frog. There was a beat of silence, then everyone in the room collectively went, "Nah."

"Where is he, anyway?" you asked.

"He said something about a favor for Lord Diavolo," Beelzebub replied through a fistful of buttered popcorn. "Won't be back until late."

"Ah."

When commercials ended, the show began to wrap up. The peacock costume reappeared as the judges tried their hardest to guess his identity. Despite its flat plastic eyes, the costume had a majestic air to it. The masked man still drew eyes even when standing still.

"Last chance for betting," Mammon said. He shook his coin purse. Nobody took up his offer.

With plenty of suspense, the emcee began to remove the contestant's mask. There was a solid minute of the camera panning between the stage, the audience, and the judges.

"Hurry up already." Belphegor tossed a piece of popcorn at the TV.

"I can't believe this!" the emcee shouted.

Asmodeus impatiently squeezed his hands together. "Well? Who is it!?"

"It's...!"

Confetti cannons and bright lights obscured the mystery man's face, yet the audience was going wild.

"I can't believe it!" The emcee screamed.

"If they cut to commercials again, I'm leaving," Satan sighed.

Thankfully, there were no more commercials. There were no more pans to the audience or the judges. There was only one person in the camera's focus.

"Your ruler of hell, the Avatar of Pride himself, the great Morning Star! It's... Lucifer!"

There was a sudden chorus of exclamations. "What!?"

Aside from the television, the House of Lamentation became dead silent. Beelzebub stopped, slowly lowering his hand of food while transfixed on the screen. Asmodeus looked like he was about to cry, having his position on the show stolen first by Lucifer. Mammon looked confused and swiveled his head around, stunned, as though his brothers were pranking him. Belphegor narrowed his eyes with displeasure.

You cautiously eyed Satan, ready to command him to stay if things got out of hand. He just stared at the screen coldly.

Leviathan was first to break the silence. "Wait, really? Lucifer's the peacock?"

"I knew it sounded like Lucifer," you bragged. You raised your arms victoriously. Your cushion flopped onto the floor.

Beelzebub was the only one to commend you. "Good job, I had no idea."

"So it wasn't Chort or Vapula." Belphegor began to drag himself off the couch. "Well, that was unexpected. I'm going to bed."

"What's the prize for this show? How much's he winnin'?" Mammon asked.

"Probably nothing. It's a small appearance fee and the rest is just exposure," Asmodeus explained. Him and Mammon both hung their heads.

Satan got up to grab the remote, mashing the power button until it clicked off. "This show sucks. Let's find something else to watch next week."

[muxshwriting]

a world of dreams

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!reader

summary: Feyd’s wife was always branded as a dreamer, content to spend a day in her books. but her husband would always entertain her dreams, especially when they save her life /or/ basically the request || warnings: violence, haters gonna hate, death, blood || word count: 1658 || masterlist

REQUEST: I’ve always wondered how Feyd Rautha would handle having a wife like Helaena who speaks in riddles and flinches at loud noises and violence. Maybe an Atreides daughter they’re supposed to create the Kwisatz Haderach with? In a Universe where Jessica stayed loyal to the bene Gesserit. I’d love to know how someone like Feyd would react to her telling him he’s scared the way Helaena does to Aegon in hotd. Maybe he’d have very little patience for her but I could also see him bonding with someone like that. Also I think that someone with Helaena’s ability to retreat inside her own mind would be able to survive on Giedi Prime.

Your fate had been set in stone since your very conception, meant to mend the relationship between two houses that had been at war for centuries and bring forward the greatest mind the universe had ever seen. Jessica had trained you in the Bene Gesserit way since you were young, always believing that your bloodline would be famed for generations after.

But you didn’t want to be famed or revered or feared. You wanted nothing more than to be loved, completely loved. When you learned of your betrothed, there was a sadness that overtook you, an accepting that your husband may never truly love you. He was famed for his cruelty, his majesty in the arena and his fighting prowess. He was not known for his ventless and his love, no Harkonnen ever had been.

The first time you met eyes with your future husband, there was a silent understanding that passed between you two. He was a young boy, barely older than you and yet he looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Perhaps there could be a connection between you two, despite your afflictions.

Your father called it dreaming, ignoring whatever technical explanation your mother held. There were things you saw that no sane man could explain and yet they were always true. They came to you in the silent moments of the day, when you read or sketched. You had loved it growing up, seeing glimpses of things yet to come but as you grew, they only ever turned darker.

The diplomatic visit to Geidi Prime was short and yet long enough for you to spend a few hours alone with Feyd. There was an itching under your skin from being on the planet, a discomfort that lingered as you pushed down any dreams that threatened to reveal themselves.

You sat across from Feyd, your hands twisting in your lap.

“What do you like to do?” His voice was soft, always soft when he was with you but the sterness returned the moment someone else entered the room.

You wondered if someone had shared your condition with him. “I read. I draw.” Around him, you didn't feel the necessity to boast of your suitable talents your parents had raised you on. The itching had ceased, even if it was just for a moment. “You?”

“I fight- I'm good at fighting.” He corrected himself. For a moment it seemed like he was done talking, but then he met your gaze and continued. “I don't have much to time to do things I like.”

“Perhaps when we are wed, you will have time to explore things you enjoy.” You meant nothing by it, only that you hoped your husband could find a hobby not controlled or pushed onto him by his Uncle.

Feyd smiled in response and you got the distinct feeling that everything would be alright if you married him. But you could not marry him without guilt unless you told him yourself what you were.

“I dream.” You say, unsure of how to tell him.

Feyd was slightly amused, “You dream? I’m sure many do.”

“No.” You quickly reply. “I see things, visions almost. They are never truly clear, only glimpses of the future.”

“Ah.”

“I didn’t want you to marry me if you didn’t know. I only hope you understand and do not judge me for something beyond my control.”

Feyd’s expression softened as he took stock of the panicked breaking out of your being. “Then you have nothing to worry about.”

The hopefulness in your eyes glistened as you stood, offering Feyd a small bow before leaving the room and returning to your mother and father.

When your day of union arrived, it was a rather happy occasion. Your family smiled as you stayed by Feyd’s side, your hand twisted with his. There was a soft and genuine look of almost-love everytime he looked at you. All that look needed was time to evolve into true love that would pull him under without hesitation. Feyd would let himself be taken by everything you are and he would even beg for it. Your mother and father could see the affection you already shared and knew nothing would come between you.

The Baron, on the other hand, had indifference covering his face all day. This was not a joyous occasion, but a simple ceremony that had to be done in order to end the conflict he wanted to continue. However, this union would bring him more power than war would, and he would just have to accept that.

Feyd reached for two glasses and passed one to you, raising his in a toast. “To the rest of our lives?”

“To the rest of our lives.” You agreed, clinking your glass with his and taking a drink.

Once you had placed your glass back down, Feyd leant forward to capture your lips, letting his heart float like only you could make him. Your marriage was nothing more than picturesque. There was finally peace felt throughout the universe and yet there were some who were still not happy.

The Emperor, despite suggesting the match to weaken the houses and cause friction, watched as they came together in love and only grew stronger. The Atreides were a threat to his reign long before, but with the Harkonnens now as allies, there was nothing that could stop them if they desired his throne.

The final straw came when news of an heir flowed throughout the Imperium. The Atreides and Harkonnens would soon have an heir that would bind them with blood, for eternity.

Your husband had been even more protective of you since the beginning of your pregnancy, barely wanting to leave you alone. The dreams had shown you your daughter, a beautiful girl that was the mix of both you and Feyd. But there was one persistent dream that shook you to your core.

“Feyd?”

“Yes my love?” The nickname had never stopped, ever since the wedding.

“I'm afriad.”

Feyd's face flashed with confusion for a moment as his eyes darted around the room. “What are you afraid of my love? Our families are united, no one would dare stand against Harkonnens and Atreides united. The babe is well, she is growing stronger by the day.”

“There are snakes crawling through the city.” Your voice is a whisper, trembling with every word. You weren’t really aware of what your words meant, only repeating what your mind brought forward.

Feyd smiled at his wife’s words. “There are no snakes on Geidi Prime, my love. They cannot survive here.” He takes a seat next to you, pulling you closer to him as if to protect you.

“They will worm their way to our palace.”

“Then I will double our guard and order lockdown at the slightest threat.” He said it with such conviction that you were almost convinced.

“But-“

“What have I said?” Feyd asked you. “I would never let anything hurt you or our children. There is nothing that can get into our palace unless I will it.”

You let the dream sit in the back of your mind, pushing it away from thought but not forgetting. And it did you well not to forget when you couldn’t sleep one night and a echoing crash startled you. No one else awoke and you took the risk to glance outside your room, where your guards stood to attention.

“Is everything alright Na-Baroness?”

You forced a smile. “All is fine. Just… stay alert.” With nothing else to say, you turn and return to your bed.

Feyd was not disturbed but you found yourself reaching under his pillow to touch the knife he always kept there. It was a reassuring reminder that if your dream came true tonight, there was something Feyd could do. You lay, the blank ceiling taunting you and your ears hearing every footstep and breath people made.

It was only as you had begun drifting back to sleep that a muffled shout came from the hallway and your heart stuttered. You reached over, shaking Feyd awake as he quickly looked around before settling his eyes on your own frantic ones.

“What’s going on?”

Your breath trembled once more. “The snakes are here.”

At your words, Feyd reached for the knife and practically jumped out of bed, directing you to the corner of the room furthest from the door, furthest from harm. The thump of a body was heard and Feyd tightened his grip, activating his shield.

Two men, Imperial soldiers burst through the door and you caught sight of the bodies of two others as well as your guards. Terror gripped you, a hatred of blood instilled in you since you were a young girl. Your hand flew to your mouth as you shrunk into the corner even more, wishing the floor would swallow you up.

Feyd leapt forward, his body practised in fighting people at a moments notice. His knife carved flesh, splattering blood over the room. A small scream escaped your lips as the bodies crashed to the floor and your husband stood in the centre of your room, blood dripping from the knife still in his hand.

He turned to face you, throwing the knife across the room and rushing towards you. You practically threw yourself into his arms and he squeezed you close to his chest and rested his head on yours.

“You’re okay.” He said, letting you feel his steady heartbeat against your rapid one. “The snakes are gone.”

“The snakes-?”

“They’re gone. We’re okay.” He pulled away just enough to take your hand and pull it down to your stomach. “She’s okay, you’re okay. We are all okay. No one can hurt you.”

You let your panic settle and relax into his arms. Everyone’s alive. You can manage whatever comes next, you can let the snakes try but they will never be able to bite you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[thewertsearch]

UU: i know yoU coUld never fUlly appreciate what this actUally meant, bUt i took mUch care to sync Up these conversations with yoU on the same day that i begin playing as well. UU: that way, we can joUrney throUgh oUr sessions together and compare notes! :u

That might not mean much to Jane, but I remember how hard it was for Karkat to stay linear with John. UU's lucky they're not using Trollian, is all I'm saying.

GG: I guess I should just start believing all of this now, huh? Rather than learning it to be true later and feeling the fool for all my curmudgeonly skepticism?

Well, I don't know. You kind of have a point, actually.

Like - yeah, John and co. certainly took Sburb's mechanics in stride. None of them were particularly surprised when their new video game started to affect the real world - probably because they've been dealing with Scott Pilgrim video game mechanics for their entire lives.

This is normal to them, and it should be normal for Jane, too.

But, when you think about it, it's not really Sburb's mechanics that Jane is skeptical about. She's not doubting the existence of, say, alchemy - it's the big picture stuff, like time travel, alternate dimensions, and meeting her friends in the Medium that she finds hard to believe. To her, that's a completely different kind of supernatural to her hammerspace inventory. The former isn't even really supernatural, to her - it's just life.

She might live in a video game world, but she's never been shown a time machine before. Why would she believe in it?

GG: So what do I know! Consarn it, maybe you are an alien girl from Uranus, and together we are about to play a game which determines the fate of existence. Sign me up! UU: oh, hee hee! bUt i never claimed to be from that planet, which is only in the far reaches of yoUr solar system. UU: in fact i am from mUch farther away. a different Universe altogether.

Well, she’s at least not in another Earth session, then. Damn it, I was holding out hope that she was FedoraFreak's server player.

Also, using your handle to falsely imply you're from Uranus, while not outright stating it, is a 'not technically lying' maneuver that would make Doc Scratch proud. Just saying.

UU: remember what i said aboUt the need for patience. UU: patience with yoUr friends. UU: patience for yoUr growth as a hero of life.

Well, I guess that confirms it - we're getting a different set of Aspects, this time around.

Also, our party finally has a healer. Thank fuck.

Oh hello, poppop. His friendly face is there to greet you every time you open your chest.

Apparently his goofy lil' wave is a universal constant.

[sanaexus]

don't wanna leave you anymore- itoshi sae

synopsis: you meant alot to sae but football meant more to him he was sure of it so why is it when he had to say goodbye he found himself second guessing his decision.

"I'm packin' my bags that I didn't unpack the last timeI'm sayin', "See you again, " so many times, it's becoming my tagline"

you were used to this right? sae often travelled for because of football. you've been there helping him pack his things almost every time he went but why was it different this time?

he's said the phrase "you'll see me soon enough" so many times and everytime it was true but why was it different this time?

probably because this would be the last time you'd help him pack his bag and probably because the promise of you seeing him soon enough won't be soon enough.

"But you know the truth, I'd rather hold you Than try to catch this flight"

sae wasn't never an affectionate man, he knew that but he also knew that you knew he loved you, you were his and he was yours up until now. he still loved you, but he loved football more right? at least that's what he thought.

so why was it that now that you were both standing in front of each other he’d rather be with you, hold you, love you than try to catch the flight that would guarantee his success to achieving his dream. 

his heart broke at the thought of leaving you. his heart broke at the thought of you thinking that he didn’t love you anymore because that wasn’t true. he wanted to prove that to you so badly but he didn’t know how he could, he didn’t know if he could. 

“So many things I'd rather say But for now, it's goodbye”

there was a lot to say. he didn’t even know where to start, maybe with a sorry? or maybe an i love you? he didn’t know. but whatever it is that he wants to, no he needs to tell you will just remain in the back of his mind etched there forever because now is the time to say goodbye. 

“You say I'm always leavin' You, when you're sleepin' alone”

you often told him how he’s always leaving you. and he’d always say “but i still come back to you don’t i?” you used to laugh at that because it was true. he always came back to you. but this time when you told him “sae you’re leaving again” he didn’t, or couldn’t reply with “i’ll still come back to you” because he wasn’t a liar. he knew he wasn’t coming back so he chose to reply with a “i guess i am” with a sad smile. 

he always came back to you but not this time. and you’d have to get used to sleeping alone knowing he wouldn’t be coming back. the one time it mattered the most he wasn’t going to come back, he wasn’t going to come back home, he wasn’t going to come back to you.

“But the, the car's outside But I don't wanna go tonight”

you’ve seen this before, the car waits for him, you cry about him going he comforts you, whispering sweet nothings promising he’ll be back to you before you know. but it was different this time, you didn’t cry you couldn’t cry. probably because they all dried up. 

he looked down at you and he felt his heart shattering the moment he realised this was real, it wasn’t a dream, he was leaving. the car was waiting for him but he knew he should probably go before his heart convinces him otherwise but he felt as if his legs were stuck. he didn’t wanna leave not tonight not any night, but he left. left without turning back to look at you.

“I'm not gettin' in the Addison Lee Unless you pack your bags You're comin' with me”

he wanted to fight the urge to yell, scream, cry and breakdown. but you wouldn’t be there to comfort him. and technically it was his fault. he didn’t even wanna get in the car, he just wanted to be with you. maybe he could have convinced you to go with him, he probably should have. 

once. if he asked just once, “come along with me will you?” you would pack your bags then and there. perhaps in another universe he did ask you that and you did agree and you had a happily ever after story but not in this one. 

“I'm tired of lovin' from afar And never being where you are Close the windows, lock the doors Don't wanna leave you anymore”

he wanted to hold you, be with you, love you. he was tired from doing it from a distance. he was tired of never being there. now that he thinks about it he probably would have stayed back if you asked just once. he didn’t wanna leave you anymore. 

sae was a complicated person and being honest it was very hard to love him. but not for you, never for you. hell every time you looked at him it felt as if your prayers were answered. you should have tried asking him to stay, who knows he might have stayed, but as much as you loved him, you knew he loved his dream more. if it meant he’d be happy you were fine with loving him from afar, no matter how tired you were of it. 

“Oh, darling, all of the city lights Never shine as bright as your eyes I would trade them all for a minute more”

when you admired the sunset he admired you, because in his opinion you were the most gorgeous most beautiful thing to ever happen to him. he loved everything about you, because you were just so bright and full of love. just once more, he wanted to see that smile once more, he wanted to listen to that contagious laugh once more, he wanted to see the twinkle in your eyes when you talked about something you loved. just one more time. he’d trade everything he had just for a minute more with you.

HIII GUYS THIS WAS JUST SOMETHING I WROTE IN THE SPAN OF AN HOUR MB ITS LIKE VERY RUSHED

also with the rin x reader series i ran into a bit of an oopsies but it's fixed nOWWW SO GET READY FOR THAT SHIT

@fishii-writes

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Angst Villain x civilian where the villain cheats on civilian with hero

“If it is of any comfort, it didn’t mean that much to me." The villain cocked their head, as if they were thinking about something intensively - which they weren't. They looked at the civilian, but failed to conjure any pity.

Their partner, well, probably ex-partner now, looked at them with wide eyes and tears rolling down their cheeks.

"I-" The civilian's hands were shaking, their face contorted in pain. "What did I- what did I do wrong?"

Their voice was shaking.

"Nothing."

"I..." The civilian took in a deep breath. "Oh god..."

They gasped for air desperately but the villain couldn't help but think about the hero in their bed, moaning lovingly. It was true that the civilian hadn't done anything wrong. They were quite good company to keep around. They were tidy (which was very important to the villain), they were nice, avoided conflict, didn't ask too many questions. The perfect kind of person to keep around, someone who wasn't getting involved in the villain's business.

But when it came to pure desire, the hero was simply more tempting. It was about power.

The civilian wasn't a challenge in bed.

The hero on the other hand...

"Oh god...I can't-" The civilian gasped for air over and over again, coming very close to mimicking a panic attack.

"I can move out if you want, or you do. Whatever you like."

"I wanted to marry you, I - I love you, I..." The villain raised a lazy brow.

"We can still get married if you want to, but I'd like to screw the hero every now and then," the villain said. The civilian turned away, but the villain could obviously tell that they were crying harder now. They would have never brought this up, but unfortunately, the villain had gotten a bit lazy and the civilian had found out about the affair.

It wasn't the end of the world, but the villain had planned to keep the civilian around for a little longer. More than once, they had thought about proposing to the civilian out of pure necessity, but the amount of work linked to that, had spoiled the idea quickly.

"You don't have to decide now," the villain clarified. "It's an option, that's all."

The civilian's back was still turned towards them.

"I had so many plans for us," they whispered, almost mumbled the words. "What did I do wrong, why are you doing this to me...?"

The villain rolled their eyes.

"Like I said, it didn't mean that much to me. They're attractive. They showed up at my work. We fucked on the desk and started to meet regularly." A lot of lies. Technically, they had been flirting with each other for the last year. "Work" meant their usual nightly activities. The thing with the desk was true, though.

The civilian turned around, eyes bloodshot.

"Did they force you? Because they're the hero?" The villain pursed their lips. Interesting. It was probably pretty easy to turn themselves into a victim in this situation (the civilian was by no means rational right now), but they had already admitted that they wanted to meet the hero in the future, so keeping up with that lie was going to be exhausting.

"No," the villain said. "Their ass just looked great that night."

"I don't understand, I thought you loved me?! We've been together for three years..." The civilian wiped away their tears but new tears followed and followed.

"...I like your company, yes."

"That's it?"

Once again, the villain cocked their head, staring at the civilian.

"Come on. A hero. The hero. Who can say no to that? It's a sexual thing. Has absolutely nothing to do with you. You're great." They shrugged. "Stay here. Get some sleep. We can talk about the rest tomorrow."

The civilian stood there, didn't dare to move.

"My love, you must be exhausted."

The civilian took in a deep breath. They nodded.

"There we go," the villain said softly. "You look lovely right now, by the way."

It wasn't that the villain liked being cruel - they just couldn't help it.

[sulumuns-dootah]

Can I request a headcanon of whb king (plus any other characters you want) reacting to gn mc avoiding them for as long as she can because mc got dared to by some random demon

WHB kings' reaction to MC avoiding them because of a dare

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: Hi! This was so fun to write since each king had a completelly different reaction ^^ Sorry for the long wait though t-t

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Oh, Satan doesn't like this at all

The moment he notices your suspiciously long absence, he's on the prowl

Where are you and why tf are you avoiding him?

He'll even send out Amy and his group to look for you and bring you to him

Hopefully he'll during his search find out about the dare

At least hopefully for you

Poor demon who dared you will find himself homeless after Satan in his demon form destroys his place

Once that's dealt with, the next time you go outisde, you come face to face with Satan, leaning back against his bike

"Talked to that mf. The dare's called off :)"

    ༺☆༻

Mammon notices that you haven't been around him much, but he just chalks it up to you being busy

He's okay with it, knowing that eventually you'll come back to him anyway

Besides, if you needed something, you'd surely call him

After finding out that it's a dare, he's also curious how long you'll be able to keep away from him

If he ever gets worried about you, he'll just send one of his nobles to check up on you

Once you're back to him, he's taking you out for a dinner to congratulate you on how long you lasted

    ༺☆༻

Leviathan knew from the beginning thanks to Foras

You don't even get to leave the Hades castle so it's easier for you to avoid him when you get a message from the devil who dared you that the dare is off

It doesn't take a genius to realise that the poor demon had been visited by His Majesty himself and forced to end your dare early

Most likely, if you video-called with him, he'll be gasping for air, hung by a noose

The next time you see Leviathan, he acts like nothing happened, but you can feel his piercing stare when you're not looking at him

He's most likely not sure how to punish you yet...

But once he does...

Oh boy, now comes the moment to avoid him for the sole sake of your survival

    ༺☆༻

Funny :)

You think you can avoid Beel? :)

I mean, technically you could do that by hanging around in the Abyssos castle, but even then you can't exactly avoid Beel

If Beel wants to see you, he'll come and see you

Doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing

Even if it means that he'll have to sneak through his own castle to escape Bael's wrath

And even more so, if he finds out about the dare...

Oops, he just reminded he meant to take you to this place and booked it in advance and can't cancel it

Sorry, guess you'll have to spend the whole month with him :)

I guess the rule with Beel is that the more you want him, the less he'll be around

(True story with my pulls for his cards tbh T-T)

    ༺☆༻

Belphie would probably realise that it's been a while since you were there when he woke up, but eh...

Maybe you're just busy doing your work

No sweat

That is until Beleth accidentally slips up about the dare

Oh?

Now that is something different

Prepare to start dreaming about him every night

That'll eventually make you come back...

And if not, don't worry...

Belphie's ability can bring you back anytime, so enjoy your time away from him before he decides this little game is over

    ༺☆༻

Keeping away from Asmo is honestly your day-to-day task, so I don't think there's much difference

That is until you realize that it's time for another annual king meeting

The real challenge becomes coming up with a good reason to excuse yourself from it

And all the nobles are helping you at this point

Sure, you could just not go, but Asmo might then leave the meeting to come and see you since he was so excited to meet you after so long

In the end Leviathan coems to save the day and hides you inside his coffin for as long as the need be

Phew

You're safe for another year

    ༺☆༻

To Lucifer, not seeing you for a long time is a good thing

It just means you're healthy and safe

But he does eventually start to miss you

And then Gamigin talks a bit too much and mentions that you've been avoiding Paradise Lost because of a dare

So whenever you need medical assistance one of the nobles has to do a house call

...

A house call?

That sounds unsanitary

Who even knows what germs and bacteria you might catch

Lucifer better make his way over to you for a surprise visit to make sure you're doing well

And no apples can save you from this doctor

[metamorphesque]

I don't know how unpopular this opinion is but I strongly hold the position that society today seems unable to differentiate "Art" from entertainment, and this blurring of lines harms both. _ what do you mean?

What I mean to say is that society nowadays fails to recognize the fundamental differences between art and entertainment. Thinking that they are the same or interchangeable does a disservice to both. To me, it's not an "art vs. entertainment" situation. Rather than opposing them, the distinction lies in recognizing their complementary roles because a healthy individual needs both art and entertainment, but for very different reasons.

Entertainment, of course, entertains us; it delights and validates us by affirming our existing beliefs and emotions. It's there to make us feel good — a safe space that doesn't challenge us, as it has been created specifically for our needs and is catering to our preferences. However, it leaves us unchanged and not transformed. Entertainment is produced because there is a public demand for it.

Art, on the other hand, is meant to change and transform us. It's not always delightful, entertaining or self-affirming. On the contrary, it can sometimes feel like an attack on our beliefs and the reality we think we’re living in. Art can be uncomfortable, even disruptive, and by being so, it forces us to engage with it on a deeper level, challenging our perspectives and encouraging us to evolve. Unlike entertainment, art is not made because there is public demand for it. To be more precise, the demand for art exists, but it doesn't come from us — the public; art meets the demands of the time. Real artists are those who can discern the lessons and demands of the time and make them digestible for the public. While entertainment caters to an audience’s desires, art challenges its audience, often presenting ideas or emotions they may not have asked for but need to confront. It’s not about pleasing or fulfilling expectations; instead, art serves as a catalyst for intellectual and emotional growth, pushing society to reflect, adapt and progress.

My beloved Armenian poet Paruyr Sevak has a very thought-provoking piece that, I think, is about real artists. I'll present a rough translation: "They come unoften, yet never too late. / They are born at exactly the right time. / And they get ahead of time itself, / Which is why they are not forgiven".

The role of a true artist goes far beyond technical skill or the ability to produce aesthetically pleasing works that will be liked by many and, thus, make a fortune. A true artist serves as a visionary, a truth-teller and a catalyst for change. They push us to reflect deeply and think critically about the world around us. This is why, in the absence of such people (and I strongly believe that we live in such times), individuals become more susceptible to propaganda, manipulation or conformity, as there are fewer voices prompting them to critically examine their environment. Additionally, without these voices, society loses touch with its emotional depth, becoming more disconnected, indifferent and apathetic to the suffering or experiences of others.

True artists are what we need today. There are many discussions held online about whether today’s celebrities should address "political" issues and the problems we face as humans.

My answer to this is no, at least not for everyone that society considers an "artist." Most of these individuals are mere entertainers who are there solely for entertainment purposes (I would be quick to add that some of them even fail at that). Dozens of them can't even form comprehensive sentences in their mother tongues; how can we expect them to express trustworthy opinions on grave issues? This is one of the reasons why it is highly dangerous to confuse entertainment with art.

[dumbslvtforethan]

✁ THE DINER. ethan landry

inspired by "THE DINER" by billie eilish.

warnings: stalking, obssesion, posessive, no smut just plot343 words

navigation

𐙚 mdni!! ���↓ 𐙚༘⋆ೀೀ

"DONT BE AFRAID OF ME, IM WHAT YOU NEED." That was the note slipped under your dorm door. You assumed it was from your so-called stalker, as your friends would tell you whenever they saw the notes he left. At first, they were things like, "I know we're meant to be" or "You're starring in my dreams." You leaned down to pick up the note when your roommate, Mindy, stopped you."No, Y/N, enough. Seriously, this stalker stuff is getting creepy.""Oh, don't call whoever this is a stalker. Look, it's nothing."Mindy picked up the note and read it. "Don't be afraid of me?? Is that what you call nothing? For me, this is sounding a bit Ghostface-like." She looked at you with judging eyes. "Come on, we're going to be late for class."You grabbed her arm, leaving your dorm. In front of Mindy, you pretended to brush it off. You knew she'd freak out, but in reality, you were also scared, terrified.

"So, how's stalker boy?" Tara asked while you two were walking to the lunch table."Tara, I'm starting to get scared," you said, stopping in your tracks."Trust me, it's nothing. Plus, think about it, someone is obsessed with you.""Yeah, you're probably right." You both sat down with the rest of the group."Hey guys," Chad said, smiling."Hey, where is Mindy?" you asked. She was the only one missing."Oh, she forgot her pen or something. She'll be back in a bit," Anika said. That was technically true, but Mindy was actually looking for more notes or letters from your stalker. An envelope was attached to the fridge, marked "From: Stalker Boy." Mindy yanked it from the fridge and tore it open.In the meantime, you were sitting next to Ethan. You two were never really close; you'd only talk because of Econ."Are you okay?" he asked, putting his hand on your shaking leg."Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry." You smiled sweetly, turning to face him, and he smiled back."Hey, I'm back," Mindy said, eyeing you. You stood up from the table and went to talk to her."Stalker boy wrote you a letter.""Wait, a real handwritten letter?"Mindy nodded. "Well, that's... weird.""Finally, you came to your senses. Anyways, I destroyed it.""Mindy! That could've been evidence.""Yeah, no, I don't think 'you could be my wife' is evidence." You both chuckled.Ethan was watching from the table, reading your lips. Knowing you knew about his letter just made him more aroused.

Later, you got ready to go to a random Halloween frat party someone was hosting. Maybe you should've worn an outfit that showed less skin because the number of guys hitting on you was obscene. Some were gentle, talking about your future together, while others were more aggressive, kissing you without permission. You needed to catch some air.You stepped outside, sitting on one of the steps of the doorway. "Hey, can I sit here?" Steve asked. He was from Econ, and you always thought he was cute."Yeah, sure.""So, are you enjoying the party?""Not really, actually. Guys keep hitting on me. I want someone who wants me for me, not just for my body," you blurted out."I guess I feel the same way." You both stared at each other. You leaned in and kissed him without much thinking."Oh my God, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." You put your hand over your mouth and got up."Wait," he ran over. "I liked it." He smiled and kissed you again. "Do you need a ride home?" You nodded, smiling. You couldn't believe you just kissed the boy you liked and now he was taking you home. You both walked over to his car, and he opened the door for you.What you couldn't see was Ethan watching. He tilted his head slowly, observing. He pulled his phone from his pocket and took a picture of you two, gripping his beer bottle, chugging one more time before throwing it on the ground when you both took off. He put on his helmet and rode his motorcycle to the diner.

He sat down at his usual place and wrote you another letter, more aggressive and explicit than the last one. He didn't even care if you'd be scared. You were his, and he was yours, at least that's what he thought.

You came back home exhausted. Mindy wasn't home; she texted you saying she was sleeping at Anika's. You entered your bedroom, set your purse on your bed.Sitting in the bathtub, you let the warm water envelop you, trying to wash away the anxiety that clung to you. The steam rose around you, and for a moment, you could almost forget about the notes and the unease they brought. After a while, you drained the tub and slipped into your softest pajamas, feeling a bit more at ease.As you walked back into your room, you noticed the clock on your nightstand blinking 11:45 PM. You sat on the edge of your bed, brushing your still-damp hair. Your phone buzzed with a text from Mindy."Are you okay? Did you get home safe?""Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired," you replied, setting your phone down.You tried to distract yourself by scrolling through social media, but your thoughts kept drifting back to the stalker and the unnerving notes. You considered telling the campus security, but part of you felt it would be dismissed as a prank or overreaction. Besides, you didn't have any solid evidence, thanks to Mindy's well-meaning destruction of the latest letter.After a while, your eyelids grew heavy. You turned off your phone and snuggled under your blankets, hoping sleep would come quickly. But as you lay there in the dark, every creak of the dorm, every rustle of the wind outside, seemed magnified. You couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching you.

Meanwhile, at the diner, Ethan was finishing his letter. He wrote with a fervor, his handwriting becoming more erratic as he poured his obsessive thoughts onto the paper. The letter was filled with declarations of love, veiled threats, and vivid descriptions of his fantasies about you. He folded it carefully, placing it in an envelope with your name on it. As the night stretched on, you finally drifted off into a restless sleep, unaware of the shadowy figure lurking outside your window, watching. Ethan stood there for a moment, his breath fogging up the glass as he stared at you. He slipped the new letter under your door before disappearing into the night.You woke up in the middle of the night with a headache, feeling slightly more rested but still uneasy.

The memory of the kiss with Steve brought a small smile to your face, but it was quickly overshadowed by the sight of another envelope lying on the floor inside your door. Your heart sank as you saw another paper "310-807-3956" it was your phone number. you picked it up, the familiar handwriting sending chills down your spine.You tore it open, dreading what you'd find. The words were more intense, more disturbing than before. "i could change your life, you could be my wife" it read. "please dont call the cops, they'll make me stop, and i just wanna talk". "No one else can have you. I'll make sure of it." The explicit nature of the letter made your skin crawl. Suddenly, your phone rang. The caller ID displayed "Unknown Number." You hesitated for a moment before answering, your heart pounding in your chest. "Hello?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly. "Hey gorgeous, did you get my letter?" The voice on the other end was eerily calm, almost familiar. "Stop calling me, please," you pleaded, trying to keep your voice steady. "I memorized your number, now I call you when I please," he continued, ignoring your plea. "I tried to end it all, but now I'm back up on my feet. I saw you in the car with someone else and couldn't sleep. If something happens to him, you can bet that it was me." The call ended abruptly, leaving you in stunned silence. The phone slipped from your hand, clattering to the floor.

what the fuck.

part two?

@jchampionsgf on tumblr

a/n: heard the diner and decided to make history

[sweetbans29]

Milkshakes - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Should Have Been Me

Summary: 3 times you and Caitlin get milkshakes and once when she's just missing you, AKA the prequel to Should Have Been Me (based on THIS request)

Warnings: fluff, last part is angst but is also really sweet

Word Count: 3.5k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I hope this helps heal what was broken in Should Have Been Me

one. midnight talks.

Your dreams are coming true.

Caitlin and you just graduated high school and are on your way to the University of Iowa. Both of you had made the women's basketball team and were ready to start a new chapter together. And in the frenzy and excitement of graduation, the two of you found yourselves sitting in your favorite diner.

You are sitting across from your favorite girl, sipping milkshakes as the two of you talk about anything and everything.

"Do you think the team is going to like us?" You ask as you take a sip of your milkshake.

"They are going to love you," Caitlin responds. "I haven't met a single person who doesn't love you."

Her hand comes across the table to hold yours. If it was up to her, you would be sitting on her side of the booth so she could cuddle into your side. If anyone were to ask, she was 100% a physical touch girl. Some part of her was always on you at all times. There was just something about your warmth that she had been drawn to.

It had been like that since you could remember. Even before you were dating she would be right next to you. It became extremely helpful when she would get overworked during games, even if you couldn't see it. She has always had a big mouth on the court but when she was around you, it would tame her enough to just flirt with a technical instead of receiving one every other game.

When the two of you were growing up you would have sleepovers. You would always wake up with Caitlin curled up by your side. Even when you put a pillow in between you to separate the two of you because of the heat or whatever the reason, she would find her way to you in the middle of the night usually resulting in you waking up in a sweat but you never minded.

The only time it ever really got to be too much was when you were out and about with people. There is one time, in particular, you could remember it being a distraction.

Your high school team decided to go watch the guy's team play in one of their playoff games. It was an away game and you had all piled into two cars, not wanting to deal with using more gas than necessary or having to find parking. You and Cait had driven to school together and then jumped into one of your friend's cars. She was saving a spot for you when another girl from the team jumped in and sat in the spot, leaving you to sit on the other side and away from her.

She was annoyed but knew it would be fine if she sat by you during the game.

When you all arrived at the game, Caitlin stood right next to you to make sure she would be sitting somewhere around you. And she was right, she sat right in front of you which she was happy about. This meant she could lean back into your legs while you played with her hair.

When she sat down she immediately leaned back and your legs welcomed her torso. She was content. Content for at least a whole five minutes until you began to tab her back.

"Can you sit up? My legs are falling asleep," you say and she reluctantly gets up and slumps her shoulder. When you noticed her shoulders you leaned in.

"Are you okay CC?" You ask, whispering into her ear.

She nods. You don't push it.

A few of your teammates mention they are going to go grab snacks and you join them. You get up and squeeze Caitlin's shoulder. Her hand comes up to hold yours for a quick second before you remove it from her which she wishes you didn't.

When you come back, you notice someone has taken your spot behind Caitlin so you find a seat a little further down with the girls you just came back with.

You feel eyes burning into you and turn to see your girlfriend's eyes staring into your soul. You give her a questioning look but she just crosses her arms and turns back towards the game.

You get back into the game and cheer on the team. They come out victorious and you could not be more excited. The team decides to head to grab a bit after, and Caitlin stays as far away from you as possible. It doesn't matter if it is internally tearing Caitlin apart - she is mad at you and wants to make that known.

When you finally get back to the school and get in your car with Caitlin, she sits in the front seat, arms crossed just like the game, and doesn't say a word to you.

"CC what's wrong?" You ask as you turn to her before even turning the car on.

"Nothing," she says and you know she is lying to you.

You reach over and touch her arm and she immediately flinches away from you, turning towards the window.

"Caity babe, look at me," you say now putting your hand on her favorite spot on her thigh. Her knee begins to tap.

Your other hand goes to rub her shoulder and neck - you are doing all of her favorite things and you both know it.

She sighs and the tension she was holding in releases. She turns to face you - arms still crossed.

"Use your words, love," you say as your thumb comes to rub her cheek.

"it's dumb," she says and lets out a 'hmph'.

"It's not it if has you feeling this annoyed," you remove your hands from her.

"No," she yelps and grabs your hands bringing them into her. It all clicked.

"Come here," you say and open your arms. She unbuckles and awkwardly maneuvers over your center console and into your lap. You have to admit it is not the most conventional and you realize that when her elbow hits your horn. You let out a laugh and she lets out a groan. You move your seat back as far as it will go and you wrap your arms around your girl.

Her head finds its place in your neck and you feel her relax into you.

"I'm sorry," you say as you rub one of her thighs. Her legs are lying across your center console and her feet are on your passenger seat.

"'S okay," she mutters into your neck. "Just like being close to you."

"I know, I should have known that," you say. You sit there for a few minutes before loosening your grip on your girl. "Ready to go home?"

"Will you spend the night?" Caitlin asks.

"Of course," you say and kiss the top of her head.

The two of you talk about what you both plan on expecting to experience as you head into college. You reassure her that the team will love her. It is not that she was worried per se, but it was a known fact that people naturally gravitated towards you over her.

"I wish we were roommates," she says. It had been about two weeks since finding out that the two of you would be in different rooms but were still in the same dorm. She has brought it up at least once since you found out.

"I think we will be okay," you say.

"But we aren't even on the same floor," she says dipping her finger in your milkshake.

"Hey!" You yell at her and pull your glass back. You offer her the excess of your shake that they brought you in the mental cup and automatically grab her excess. She complies with the trade.

"We will be okay. We will see each other the same that we see each other now, if not more," you say. "Plus, if you saw me 24/7 you would get annoyed with me."

"I would not," she says appalled that I would even think that.

"You would," you say knowingly.

"Would not."

"Would."

Would not."

"Would."

"Would not." You know you are not winning this.

"Agree to disagree," you say.

"Fine, but I wouldn't," she whispers and takes another sip.

"Don't push it, Clark," you warn. She throws her hands up in defeat.

The two of you finish your milkshakes as you both continue talking about how excited you are, including how you plan to continue doing some of your favorite things together. It is all just a matter of time.

two. i love you.

It was the summer before junior year of high school and you and Caitlin were heading home from practice for your club team, Attack. She was driving the two of you back to your house when you mentioned you wanted to stop to get milkshakes. She happily pulled over at your favorite local spot. Once the two of you had gotten your sweet treat, you sat in her car drinking milkshakes.

"I feel like we are single-handedly keeping this diner in business," you say as you take the first sip of your milkshake. "They literally get better every time."

"I can't imagine our lives without these," Caitlin says.

The diner was the first place the two of you went when you got your license. Caitlin was the first to get hers and you were only a few months behind. When Cait got hers, she begged her parents to let her take you to get milkshakes and after hours of bugging them, they finally said yes.

She drove to your house and picked you up to get milkshakes, the first time without one of your parents.

Since then, the two of you have been there multiple times a week. That is how you ended up there now.

"This will always be our place," she says and you sit there in thought. The two of you sit there drinking your sweet treat.

"Cait?" You ask as she is finishing her milkshake. She looks up at you.

You go silent again and are just staring directly at her dashboard. Caitlin looks at you until you finally turn to look back at her.

"This will always be our place," you say, repeating the words she just spoke to you. She smiles.

"Ya," she says.

"Just like I will always be yours," you say and Caitlin freezes.

"I love you," you say.

Up to this point, the two of you had both told each other you liked each other more than friends and started to explore what that looked like. You would say the two of you had been dating for the past couple of months - keeping it really low-key as you didn't know how the people around you would take it. But there was something about this moment, something about being together and just doing life together that helped you realize she is your everything.

She looks at you slightly shocked.

"You don't need to say it back!" You say, not wanting to pressure her. You just didn't want to go another day without telling her. "I just needed to tell you because, well, I do. I love you, Caitlin Clark."

A goofy little smile makes its way to her face and she pulls you in for a hug. It isn't the most comfortable considering you sitting in a car and have some piece of the center console pushing into your rib cage but you didn't mind.

"I love you," she whispers in your ear as she hugs you.

It was the first of many times the two of you would say those three words to each other.

three. firsts.

You were in first grade, the same as Caitlin. Your parents decided it would be a good idea to enroll the two of you into a summer basketball league which you didn't want to do but Caitlin had convinced you it would be fun. Caitlin's convincing was really just saying it would be fun. She was your best friend and you had no reason to not believe her so you agreed and your parents.

Your dad took the two of you to the first practice and he watched as the two of you outplayed everyone else on the court.

To be fair, Caitlin growing up with two brothers, and with her competitive nature, she had her dad teach the two of you the basics before the first practice. It served both of you well considering there was no girl team and the two of you were on the boy's team.

He watched as the two of you ran circles around the little boys and were already playing well with each other - it had him thinking that both of you had insanely bright futures. And that was not just because of your dad but the other dads came up to him and sparked up conversations on how good the two of you were.

After practice, the two of you come bouncing over to your dad with giant smiles on your faces, faces still red from running around but neither of you could be bothered by that.

"That was so fun!" You say and hug your dad.

"I told you it would be," Caitlin says in a matter-of-fact tone.

You roll your eyes at your best friend.

"I know what you told me," you say. "But you didn't say it was going to be like that."

"Well I didn't know it was going to be like that," she says.

"Okay, girls, it was more fun than both of you thought," your dad says as he grabs both of your backpacks from you.

You load into his car and are on the way home.

"Daddy," you yell from the back. "Can we get a treat?"

"Sure sweetie," he says and pulls into a diner on the side of the road.

"I've been here before!" Caitlin yells and gets excited.

"Do they have anything sweet?" You ask giving it a questioning look.

"They have the best sweet treat," she says. "Well except my mommy's cookies."

"Oooo your mommy's cookies are really good," you say remembering having one the last time you were at her house.

"Ya but they have milkshakes here," Caitlin says excitedly. She begins to run ahead when your dad calls out to her to not run in the parking lot. She comes right back to your side and holds your hand.

"Milkshake? What's that?" You ask as you swing your hands.

"Wait, you've never had a milkshake before?" Caitlin stops dead in her tracks and looks at you like you are crazy. You shake your head no. She then proceeds to pull you to the door like you couldn't wait any longer or you would die.

"You need one now!" Caitlin yells.

The three of you sit in a booth, you and Caitlin on one side with your dad on the other.

Caitlin picks out a chocolate milkshake for the two of you to share. As the two of you waited, Caitlin wouldn't stop talking about how it's going to be the best thing ever and that you will never be the same. She was hyping it up so much, she made it sound like it was the most magical thing in the world.

The waitress brings out the milkshake and places two straws on the table. Both of your little fingers work to unwrap the straws.

"Okay, you try it first," Caitlin says as she pushes the glass towards you. She looks at you with excited eyes.

You stick your straw in and take a sip. It doesn't hit your tongue immediately as your little hands come to hold the glass as you try sucking the liquid gold up with all your might.

Your eyes light up when you finally get a taste of it.

"WOW!" You yell.

"Right?" Caitlin says with a laugh and sticks her straw in. She struggles like you do to get the first sip.

"I could drink this every day until I die," you say. Your dad lets out a little laugh.

"Well this used to be just my thing," Caitlin says pulling her legs up to sit on her knees. "But since you like them too, this can be our thing now!" The excitement radiates off of her and mesmerizes you.

"Ya! It is our thing now!" You say as the two of you finish every last drop.

four. without you.

It has been 3 years since she had lost you. Two years without you.

It's the second anniversary of your passing and Caitlin has made her way back to your hometown. She is driving through the town you two grew up in, not really having a destination but reminiscing on when you were here with her.

The two you both grew up in held so many memories.

She drives past a park - your park.

In high school when you couldn't sleep you would make your way to this park. It wasn't super far from your house but became much easier to get to when you had your own car.

If you had stopped responding to Cait at night it would be one of two things. Either you had fallen asleep or clearing your mind at the park. She would always check your location. It would worry her if you were at the park alone. It never mattered how tired she was, if she saw your little dot not at home after 9pm, she would be up and heading to your location.

You are at the park, on the court. It wasn't uncommon for you to be there at this hour - your parents and Caitlin knew you would go when you had too many thoughts in your head.

You run through a few sequences when you hear footsteps approaching.

You grab your ball and turn towards your girl.

"Babe, you didn't have to come," you say knowing she would be there every time.

She gives you a 'you've got to be kidding me' look and you give her a shy smile. You walk up to her and she wraps her arms around you. Typically it would be you holding her - that's how she preferred it but whenever you found yourself at the park, you would also find yourself in her arms.

"I couldn't sleep," you say after a few minutes. She rubs your back.

"I know baby," she says.

"What if I don't get in, or make the team?" You ask separating from her.

"That is crazy," Cait says as she tries to get you to look into her eyes. "You are going to get in."

"But what if I don't," you say, not able to look into her eyes.

Her hands come to cup your face.

"Look at me, please," she whispers. You slowly bring your eyes to hers. Tears threaten to fall.

"You are getting in and we will be playing college ball together and than we will get drafted to the W. That might not be together but that is okay, I have no doubt that we will end up together again. I will make sure of it," Caitlin says.

You believe her because your heart can't bear the thought of anything else.

Leaning in, you rest your forehead on hers.

"I love you so much," you say and kiss her.

Caitlin brings her fingers to touch her lips. She misses the way your lips mold perfectly to hers.

She keeps driving, finally pulling into an old rundown parking lot. She parks her car and sits there.

She grabs something from the passenger seat and holds it up to her chest, giving it a hug. It's the stuffed bear the two of you made on your anniversary all those years back.

As she hugs the bear, her hand finds the chain around her neck that holds the ring you never got the chance to give her yourself. She fights the tears but fails.

She looks up at the abandoned restaurant, void of light and life, sort of how she feels now.

There have been a lot of highs in the past few years but with the highs came the lows. She was incredibly thankful that Colin moved to Indiana with her because she would not have done on her own. She thought about you every day.

She stares off into the space as she thinks about you.

She hasn't been able to stomach the thought of drinking a milkshake without you and hasn't had one since. It didn't feel right.

She is busy in thought then something catches her eye. A pop of color amidst the grayish building.

Caitlin gets out of the car and makes her way over it. She walks up to see a single group of flowers growing through the pavement in front of the door. She bends down and runs her hands through them, bear still in her arms.

She squats in disbelief as her hand runs through your favorite flowers growing in front of one of your favorite places. She stares in awe, similar to how she would look at you.

A gust of wind comes and brushes through her hair. She sighs.

"Forever and always," she whispers, eyes closing - tears finally falling to bring life to what seemed to be the impossible.

AN: I had to end it that way, I do not apologize. Hopefully, this helps get a glimpse into life before the pain. Let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for all the love and support 🤍

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SHREK *  assorted dialogue from the 2001 film, adjust as necessary

two things, okay? shut... up.

you didn't slay the dragon?

some of you may die... but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make.

they judge me before they even know me. that's why i'm better off alone.

how will you kiss me?

that wasn't in the job description!

what is so funny?

let's just say... i'm not your type.

pick me! pick me!

i've got a dragon and i'm not afraid to use it!

now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?

it's a compliment! better out than in, i always say.

you can't tell me you're afraid of heights.

let's do that again!

what's that? it's hideous.

only a true friend would be that cruelly honest!

well, technically, you're not a king.

the battle is won.

so where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck, anyway?

hey, don't look at me. i didn't invite them.

it's on my to-do list!

you're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying!

that's not the point!

huh, celebrity marriages. they never last, do they?

that'll do, [name]. that'll do.

you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

well, that's not very nice. it's just a donkey.

where are you going? the exit's over there!

i have to save my ass.

what kind of a knight are you?

i was talking about the dragon.

man, this would be so much easier if i wasn't color-blind.

we can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... i'm making waffles!

whoa, look at that. who'd wanna live in a place like that?

that... would be my home.

i think i need a hug.

you're a monster!

we were forced to come here!

you know, you're really quite a decorator!

it's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget!

i like that boulder. that is a nice boulder.

you know, not everybody likes onions.

everybody loves cake!

i don't care what everyone likes!

have you ever met a person, you say, "let's get some parfait," they say, "hell no, i don't like parfait."

end of story! bye bye! see ya later!

parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!

it talks?

i'm not the monster here, you are!

now tell me, where are the others!

eat me!

i've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end.

all right then! who's hiding them?

oh you're going to love it there.

men of his stature are in short supply.

it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!

hey, what's your problem [name], what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?

i'll find those stairs.

look, i'm not the one with the problem, okay? it's the world that seems to have a problem with me.

do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

hey, where're you going?

oh man, i can't feel my toes!

take a look at me. what am i?

doesn't that bother you?

man, i like you. what's your name?

you're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.

there you are, doing it again!

oh... oh this is all my fault.

you can't do this to me! i'm too young for you to die!

you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off, my mouth was open and everything.

believe me, if it was me... you'd be dead.

i steal from the rich and give to the needy.

man, that was annoying.

i was sent to rescue you.

i'm supposed to be rescued by my true love!

your job is not my problem.

you love this woman, don't you?

i don't want to rush into a physical relationship.

like that's ever gonna happen!

why are you following me?

stop singing!

it's no wonder you don't have any friends!

[bogleech]

Hey Bog! Just got some Venus flytraps and was wondering if you had any advice on how to take care of them, what to feed them, etc. Any help would be appreciated!

Unfortunately, I'm not good at keeping them alive! They're a tricky thing to master. All fly traps technically need to be allowed to go dormant during the winter, which means they turn black and look like they've rotten away but the root bulb is just hibernating.

Since they also get sold as novelty plants with only minimal care instructions, there's probably millions of people a year who just think their fly trap "died" and throw it out at this stage. What you're meant to do is keep them cold and damp all winter, like wrapped in plastic in the refrigerator, then bring them back out in the spring and let them revive, though I've never gotten one to come back from the dormancy myself; I think fungus always kills mine, or the area I live just doesn't get bright enough because they like INTENSE direct sunlight. The #1 rule with fly traps and almost all carnivorous plants though is that they grow in bogs, so their roots want to be completely soggy at all times. It's best to keep a potted flytrap in a slightly wider pot and fill that pot with water. But it also has to be exactly the right kind of water!

Carnivorous bog plants evolved for high acidity, low nutrient, low mineral water and that can only be replicated with either store-bought "distilled" water, water from a Reverse Osmosis device, or freshly collected rainwater. Literally any other water will just kill a carnivorous plant completely! Even water from a thriving pond or swamp if it's not exactly the right type of wetland!

A lot of people also make the mistake of thinking something like a brita water filter will work, but those don't remove enough minerals. There's also a myth that just leaving water to sit will "distill" it but that's not true either sadly! It basically has to be water that evaporated, then condensed again without ever touching any soil or anything yet. The natural peat bogs they evolved for are just big giant puddles formed from condensation and rain, without a spring or a stream feeding them. :) If fly traps don't work out for you I really find tropical sundews to be the easiest carnivorous plants! They just don't have the adorable toothy mouths is all :(