#I don't know how my belief system will change in the future

[astralazuli]

So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.

& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.

& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.

Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.

[theriu]

I have grace on my mind tonight. Specifically, how misunderstood it is, and how that misunderstanding muddies up conversation with others about Jesus.

Something I learned some years ago, as I got to know some excellent LDS friends, is that in the LDS belief system, grace is seen kind of like a ladder. Jesus died for us to give us that ladder, and we have to climb our way up it. Basically, your own works, your own goodness, is still required for you to get the ultimate reward from God.

And honestly, I know a lot of Christians believe something like this, too. That, sure, Jesus saved us by His grace, but you still have to be GOOD ENOUGH to "earn" salvation.

But the truth is that the actual Grace Jesus taught isn't like that at all. Grace isn't like a ladder extended down to you - grace is Jesus's own hand. He's reaching it down to us, offering it, asking us to grab hold. We have to choose to take it - we have to grasp that hand (accept His forgiveness, accept His Kingship, accept that he is not A god or A son of God but GOD HIMSELF, who paid the price of death that our sins deserve).

But when you grab His hand, You know what He does?

He grabs you back. He lifts you out of the muck and mire. HE does all the work. He holds you TIGHT. NOTHING can wrest you from His grip.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

If it were at all possible for a human to work their way to God, to earn salvation, Jesus would not have had to sacrifice Himself for us. He didn't humble himself by becoming a human, live a sinless life, and die a gruesome, unjust death so we would keep killing ourselves trying to reach perfection on our own. No good deed can cancel out a sin, just like giving money to charity can't undo a murder. Only when someone pays the price for sin can it be absolved - and the price for sin is death. By being fully man yet fully God, by living a sinless life that did not earn the death penalty, Jesus was able to pay the price FOR us.

We still need to repent - we need to turn away from our sin, admit we need help, admit we need forgiveness and mercy (the inverse of grace, where we DON'T recieve the consequences we DO deserve). And when we do accept Jesus, HE helps us change and become better versions of ourselves. The good works are an outcome of salvation, not the payment for it. We do have to put effort in because our bodies and minds still struggle with sinful habits, but He is helping us, and the intent is to grow closer to and more like Him - not to earn His love.

When it comes to salvation, Jesus did all the work already. Please grab His hand and hold on tight - it will likely be a bumpy ride through this life. But I promise you, He won't let go once you put your hand in His.

(If anyone would like prayer or to ask a question, I'm open. Praying you have a blessed night, wherever you are.)

[aeternallis]

one of the things most frustrating to think about as someone who did go through the immigration system in the US is the fact that there seems to be a genuine belief by a significant portion of the populace in this country that the immigration system is a simple, straightforward process, when it most certainly is not.

for one thing, the applications to gain some form of legal status themselves are confusing af to actually read through. most of the applications uses legal, albeit confusing language and can be upwards of about 15-20 pages worth of documents you gotta spend time to actually pour through.

for example, currently the i-485 form (application for green card) sits at about 24 pages, and requires a couple of hours to fill out. for most immigrants who know little to no english, either they would have to sit with an english-speaking paralegal to help them, or one of their relatives who knows english would need to be the one to help them out.

the i-130 form (application for alien relatives) is about 12 pages, and just as hella confusing to go through.

the i-589 (application for asylum) and i-765 (application for worker's permit) aren't too bad in comparison, at about 7-8 pages, but even so, the legal language is still a hassle to try and understand.

oh, and did i mention that every one of these forms cost money to file and submit to uscis for processing? this is not counting the typical immigration lawyer's fees immigrants have to fork up in order to get some decent representation, most immigrants still need to make a living one way or another, or how else are they to provide for their families and give their children a better future? (and ya know, afford the fees to try and actually go through the process of gaining legal status here???)

not only that, answering any of the questions wrong on any of these forms could be enough for uscis to reject the filing or outright deny it. and no, ofc there's no refunds on the application fees.

for a country that has a horrendous literacy crisis, i would so love to see the rest of y'all try to take a gander at these forms and see if you don't lose your goddamn mind.

have i mentioned how fucking terrifying it is when uscis officers grill you during the interview process???? because yes, there is an interview component to most of these forms. as if their questions are literally designed for you to fail???!!

this is just a few aspect of the immigration process that's so broken right now, it might as well be a 10k puzzle piece scattered in a room.

the strenuous waiting time between processing of applications, the anxiety of the elections every goddamn year because politicians cannot fucking make up their minds with how immigration ought to be tackled in this country, all the while immigrants also have to deal with the stress of everyday life and whatever challenges that brings.

uscis is still working through a backlog of applications from decades ago, and some people in this country really have the goddamn audacity to think, "they have to get here legally and go through the process that way"???!

a fucking luxury (ignorant af though, mind you) for some of y'all to say, indeed, especially if all it took back then for your family to get here was through ellis fucking island.

my aunt petitioned my dad with the i-589 form over 38 years ago when he was still living in the philippines, and mind you, the visa number from that filing was only granted and mailed to my dad's old house last year in december 2024, when we went home to visit relatives for the holidays and long after he's already become a US citizen.

i'm not asking for people to change their minds about immigration or that this country ought to let everyone in, i knowwwwww the system is broken and terrible.

but what i am asking is for people to educate themselves and to be open-minded, to not dismiss the struggles of immigrants, because those who think that the immigration process in this country is easy are hella ignorant and will never understand the sort of anxiety illegal immigrants go through, for the sake of trying to provide a better future for their children

[average-hyperfixator]

I've been having a goddamn conniption over this post (user cropped out bc I do not like starting discourse or inadvertently getting people harassed. if you find the og post do NOT harass them. This post is just my response to this take on this fictional character. I'm likely going to get heated because this game is a hyperfixation of mine, so I feel some stronger emotions about it. Any anger I have is pointed at the opinion and not the person. okay moving on.)

This take somehow manages to miss almost every major story beat of Curly's character and SOMEHOW takes his depression and turns it into a belief system. Like. I don't even know how this conclusion was reached???

Curly is not fatalist he's literally depressed and feels trapped in his life. yk. like. like how depressed people often feel. He's reached the top rung of the ladder in the corporation he's in and realizes he may have picked the wrong career altogether, and feels trapped because of it; that's not believing in fate. Nowhere in the game does it even IMPLY that Curly is fatalist.

here I have compiled screenshots that in fact prove the opposite

you see, if he thought the future was predetermined; why on earth would he talk about changing it? About doing something different, taking a leap? Why would he ponder trying to make a better life for himself if he thought there was no other way things could be?

like I hope we're looking at the same fatalism definition

Honestly, the only argument I even need to refute the point "Curly uses fatalism to avoid responsibility" is the fact he went into the cockpit before the crash. If he truly was resigned to fate, he would've continued to stand frozen outside, and wouldn't have done ANYthing. But he tries to change the outcome. He runs in there, and tries to save his crew. He (at least tries to) takes RESPONSIBILITY for JIMMY'S actions and his OWN INACTION in that moment.

Also. "Curly knows he's doing wrong" What? His worst crime is being too nice. His fatal error is trusting in Jimmy too much, NOT thinking he does no wrong. I don't even know how to disprove that because it's so fucking off character that there is nothing I could even show. yk I'm abt 90% this rant would make more sense if you just. Talked about Jimmy being a fatalist. Because he's literally the guy who thinks he does no wrong, and thinks he fixed everything, and that all the harm that happened was "out of his control, and had to happen, there was no other way!!" I still feel like it's a stretch even for his character but it makes more sense than using CURLY?? Curly is fucking depressed, not fatalist, and certainly not the main antagonist??? That's something I'm not even gonna touch on in-depth because that opinion is beyond the realm of saving. The antagonists of the game are explicitly the company Pony Express and Jimmy. The morally grey characters who could have acted more but didn't (mostly) are Curly and Swansea.

Curly still does shit wrong, yeah, but not because he believes his actions don't matter. Most of his inaction comes from his complex friendship with Jimmy and the looming threat of the company, not a belief system.

I don't even know how to TLDR this. Just. Curly is not the bad guy for being depressed and feeling trapped.

if anyone wants to reblog/comment to add onto this with stuff I might've missed go ahead I definitely left out stuff. This was made in a kind of angry headspace, I am so sorry for the swearing I'm not usually an angry person. Again my anger is towards the opinions not the creator of them. Again again, if you find op (doubtful) do NOTTTTT harass them for the love of everything. Debate and discussion are always open ofc, and if I get into a debate with someone I will not be as upset as I am here because that will not be productive at all lmao. Sorry if I seem super angry or bitchy here augh I just really like Mouthwashing and Curly and felt like this did him SUCH a disservice. Okay rant officially over.

[queerprayers]

I’m unemployed dropped out of school before I reached high school and am unbaptised. Does God care about someone like that

Welcome, beloved, to the blog of a high school dropout who walks dogs (but has never actually been employed anywhere), and was baptized as a baby and so did not have any choice in the matter! God cares about both of us, and has given us ways to serve Them in our own lives, as we are now.

Your employment status can obviously matter quite a bit in terms of survival, because of the world we live in, but itself has no bearing on your relationship with God. Whatever the reason you don't have a job, you have a life worthy of care, from those around you and from God. Being employed has never been a Christian focus--devoting your life to God has. Capitalism has changed so much, but please know that the ways the system (and those misled by it) shames you do not reflect the will of God. No human system can decide your worth.

Your level of education, similarly, doesn't say anything about you that God cares about. I dropped out of school for health reasons--whatever yours are, even if you don't feel they're good, whatever! High school was invented like 200 years ago, and has nothing to do with God's care for you. Education is holy--reading, talking to different kinds of people, learning about history and the natural world, thinking about God. This knowledge is in schools but it's also everywhere else. I'm not telling everyone reading this to drop out of high school, but I am saying that there are so many beautiful paths without it. I would also point out that in many places, there is support for people who left schooling early--my city, for instance, has free GED (high school equivalency diploma) programs. If that's something you want to change (of your own volition, not because God will care about you any differently), it's very possible that you can.

Baptism is the most easily changed thing on this list, if you seek it. Most churches require some discussion beforehand, maybe a class to learn about the denomination, but there aren't huge barriers (and there is no test of worthiness). If it's not in your future, for whatever reason, I can still tell you God cares about you, fully, as you are. Baptism is lots of things for lots of people--a symbol, a physical manifestation of grace, a welcoming into a Christian community, a sealing of a covenant--but it has never been the first moment of care from God. That has already passed--it was the first moment you existed. To say you need to be baptized for God to care about you is to say that God doesn't care about anyone from any other religion, or about those who die before baptism--what a sad life that would be. What a limiting belief.

I don't know you, but I have faith you treat others well. I have faith you wouldn't tell me God didn't care about me because of my job or schooling. So don't do that to yourself. I hate to break it to you, but you have no say in the matter. It doesn't matter how worthy you are, or how much you're succeeding by our current society's standards. God is love, a love which keeps no record of wrongs, a love which does not weigh with the measures of this world, a love which cannot be contained in the rituals of an institutional church, a love which does not require knowledge or action or belief to surround us. We are saved by this love, not by a diploma or paycheck or a pastor's words.

Go in peace, beloved. Glorify God with your life, not with someone else's. And anyone who tells you that there are limits on God's care is not talking about the God of the Bible--who works through the underdog, who turns any idea of worthiness on its head, who picks the younger son and the tax collector, the unwed mother and the poor father. God comes to where we are, and takes us by the hand.

<3 Johanna

[thesensteawitch]

Which World Did You Come From?🌼🍂

And Who You Were?🍂🌼🍂🌼🍂

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left to Right--- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hey, Senstea Souls!

This is a collective reading that will tell you about the world from where you came and most importantly your soul's traits. This reading will give you some nuance about your present traits too. Choose a pile intuitively and enjoy reading.

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Pile 1

Tarot Cards- The Hermit, The Hangedman, 3 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles, 4 of Swords, The High Priestess, Death, Queen of Pentacles

Pile 1, I see that you come from a world that was all about ebbs and flows. Maybe a world of water. In that world, you ruled the sign Scorpio with the spirit of a lion. Your world had seen the extremes of everything possible that was there. You were somebody who shook the world's core. I hear, “Just because I miss you doesn't mean I want you back. And just because I almost called doesn't mean I wish I had.” You were so bold pile 1. You were somebody who knew the depths of emotions and you weren't ever ever ever afraid to choose one extreme and then switch to another extreme. No, you weren't like a chameleon. It just means that you were so fierce that it didn't bother you to go to the depth of the situation and reach their bottom. You could look longggg back in the past and too far into the future. People around you who ruled other zodiac signs were surprised to see such a gesture of yours. They wanted to know the secret behind your genius and capabilities. Indeed you carried the secret on your sleeve but no one had access to it even if it was in front. You were definitely a teaser. You loved teasing others. You have seen relationships and have also been alone. You know the ultimate sacrifice that hangs in between the choice of being alone and being with someone. You took a deep rest before emerging as a destroyer. You knew destruction and would wholeheartedly do it. Not because you were a sadist but in the hope of re-establishing a better world. You were the change maker. Others may even fear you but because they knew your merciful side they also pleaded for mercy. You only gave mercy after weighing the scales of justice. Don't take this negatively pile 1, it's like cleansing the whole system of toxins. You had a great belief in a creator. You never for a second thought yourself to be God though you were performing such trembling tasks on God's demand. You were the catalyst that brought boon after doom and doom after a boon (but that was a blessing in disguise). Your ways were extreme but needed. You first mastered yourself and then became the master of the depths of order and chaos. Only a few knew you personally. People may easily be intimidated by you even in this life. You had a small circle though everyone knew you. But you knew only a few intimately. Your heart just wanted to see more growth and more depth. It never settled. Your world never settled for less either. It was an ever-changing and ever-growing world. You had EVERYTHING comfortable yet you weren't afraid to build from scratch over and over again. Some great figures on Earth came from the same world as yours.

The zodiac signs I feel intuitively in this pile are Leo and Scorpio.

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Pile 2

Tarot Cards- 6 of Pentacles, The Hermit, The Chariot, Ace of Wands, 7 of Cups, Knight of Swords, Justice, The World

Pile 2 you come from a world that focuses on preparing for Earth. You were the souls who didn't know how to handle the ways of Earth. The souls that would change their minds at the last minute regarding coming to the 3D world. You ruled the zodiac sign Capricorn. So it's obvious that you worked really hard to make sure that you achieve your goal. But you were someone who would get depressed easily when their goals weren't fulfilled. You always thought for others. You felt responsible for learning as soon as possible so that you could fulfill your duties on Earth. You preferred spending time alone and avoided unnecessary drama. You had big visions regarding Earth. You just wanted to finally enter the 3D world. You had your desires under control. You had everything under control. There was no place for chaos in your heart and that is exactly what you wanted for your world too. But when has it ever happened that we wanted something to be a certain way and it remained that way? Sometimes your ambition took the best of you. You made decisions in a hurry to come to Earth you made the wrong decisions that brought chaos. You were a perfectionist and the chaos pissed you off. You were just and honest but couldn't wrap your head around the phrase, “There must be room for making mistakes.” Your so many desires and ambitions took the best of you. You were easily manipulated emotionally because you felt responsible for everyone around you. Because you were honest and pure-hearted you entered the 3D world but the journey had its ups and downs despite your wish. You were the light when everyone around you felt scared of coming down to Earth. You gave them hope and assurance. But sometimes you lack that for yourself. You also needed someone who could motivate you but that didn't happen. You helped others but you also kept absorbing others' fears. This may be a challenge for you even in this lifetime. Overanalyzing is something you may be fond of doing on Earth too. Mountains or hills were quite prominent in your world. Climbing high on the ladder was important to everyone eventually. So that each one of them can find the courage to enter Earth. You were training others and yourself to come out of the cycles of karma by finding the courage to face the challenges on Earth. I feel that this pile has strong earth placements (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn). Slow and steady wins the race. Your journey was slow no matter how hard you tried to quickly reach the end. Too much hurry only backfired at you.

I hear, “I should not be left to my own devices. They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming. One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming”. I also hear, “Sometimes I feel everybody is a sexy baby and I am a monster on the hill.” You were the one who set the rules so it was obvious that some even talked behind your back. That made you feel lonely at times. It's easy for especially Capricorns to feel, “It's me, hi, I am the problem it's me.” Well, I guess it was exhausting for others to keep rooting for the anti-hero. Because you showed them the reality and showed them the path they must follow. Some of the residents of that world wanted to be freed and not face the Earth. You were amazing pile 2. Believe me. If you still feel the same on this planet then I am sending you hugs and love. You are perfect just the way you are. Not everybody needs to like you. We aren't meant to be remembered forever but certain people make you think that you'll be. And you'll find such people in this lifetime.

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Pile 3

Tarot Cards- The Fool, The Tower, Seven of Cups, Two of Swords, Nine of Cups, The Empress, Nine of Wands, Five of Pentacles

Pile 3 you come from a world of dreams and wishes. You were assigned the zodiac sign Pisces. You do not have many resources to work on making dreams come true. I hear, “Something I am not, Something I can be. Something I wait for, something I am made for.” Perhaps in this lifetime, your objective is to find that something. Because in your world just with faith you built towers but also saw them churning down to nothing. But you never backed down you kept moving ahead. The only thing you did wrong was carry the weight of your failures when you had so much to achieve to be grateful for. Your world literally sold dreams. You were the master of that shop. Though you created some masterpieces of dreams you didn't know which dream to give whom. The mantra of your world was simple, “as you wish.” You created heaven for yourself. You knew what you wanted for yourself but not for others. Perhaps you faced destruction only to learn the emotions and qualities of others around you so that you can guide them well. An artist can only understand human emotions deeply. But after fighting the tough battle to reach your dream you left the battlefield just when you were about to win with perseverance. You settled for less. In this lifetime you are advised to dream big. Find inspiration from others and gather the courage to dream as big as you possibly can because the Universe wants you to show that no matter how big you imagine the Universe will always have something bigger to give you that you could have never imagined in your wildest dreams. I hear, “I was running far away would I run out of the world someday? No, take me home where I belong.” You, my pile 3, need to find your way back to the source, to the creator. You are beyond creative. You have the capability to create masterpieces in your work only if you allow yourself to explore the 3D world. Eventually after looking in all the wrong directions you will find the true purpose of your life. Life moves in cycles for you. Your destination is right at the beginning. You lost your faith while fighting for your dreams. The faith with which you started. And that is exactly where you need to land. So many dreams may feel like a trap to you. Then the advice is to take it slow like a snail. You don't need to rush. Though I see water signs (Cancer and Pisces) I also sense earth signs (Taurus and Capricorn) in your charts. Find a balance between these elements. Life is calling you to tap on your unawakened creative potential. I see it in you. Believe me. Now is the time to begin this journey of self-discovery, pile 3. Let go of the self-doubt.

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[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 36 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | lesson 35 | lesson 37

MEPHISTOPHELES WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU i'm wiping that smug ass smirk off your face. don't play about my man's tea (i'm a lesbian)

HSNSJSDJGD he's so fed up 😭 all the man wanted was some peace and quiet

now the real question is, does diavolo want mephisto to stop lucifer from getting close to mc, or does he want to stop mc from getting close to lucifer? or both? i'm all for a poly relationship between the three of them but i've always been a dialuci girlie 🫣

oh he's such a dickhead i love him so bad

see lucifer wonders why his brothers behave the way they do. IT'S BECAUSE OF THEY LEARNED FROM WATCHING YOU !!! like lucifer is easily one of the pettiest, if not THE pettiest, out of all 7 of the brothers, but he also knows not to treat people like shit without good reason mephisto deserves all the shit he can get for

1) being racist, for lack of better phrasing;

2) being classist; and

3) being so full of himself that he can't face his own insecurities and projects them onto others

now, i'm all for character development and growth. he doesn't WANT to grow. and as much as i hate him, i love mephisto as a character. he's basically a representation of the way high society treats those that they think are "lesser" than them, even after being shown time and time again that their views and belief systems are outdated and bigoted. he and diavolo are foils almost. raised in same sphere, though mephisto definitely has had impostor syndrome for his entire life and it SHOWS

i wish we got more bits of him not being a pretentious asshole but i also think the pretentiousness adds to his value as a character yk yk

i'm calling it now, this is how he became immortal | this is also why back in season 1 of nb (i think) thirteen said that his soul wasn't as shiny as mc's anymore. it was corrupted by whatever he saw or whoever he met in the underworld. more on this here

moments like these are what i need. more depth and insight om mephisro to person, not mephisto the noble. he's such an interesting character and i feel like we only ever get a tiny glimpse of it every once in a blue moon

also, i wonder how his stance on humans now changed in the future, bc we know he was a bitch to mc on the basis of their identity in the og game

god i hate this. i knew it was was a setup from the jump

lucifer having to defend himself to mephisto, let go of his pride in the process, and now end up being framed for a crime that he obviously didn't commit? all because some racist assholes don't like the idea that he and his brothers are in consort with the future demon king

it's sad that this has to serve as a lesson to mephisto about how corrupt the lineage he was so proud to be apart of truly is, and how he's constantly perpetuating the corruption and bigoted ways of thinking just by acting in a way that benefits that lineage. but that's the way the world works outside of the game, too

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi INFJ here. I have self-worth issues probably due to being small and petite. I'm shorter than most of my family members and many people on the street. This makes me feel insecure and unable to defend and protect myself or loved ones and look efficient and trustable. One reason is that I think it can make me an easier target to take advantage of, insult, boss, dominate, threaten, harm, punch, fight, not take seriously or disrespect.

I generally try to be peaceful and nice or at least neutral to people. But occasionally I face people or situations where I may be disrespected, insulted or provoked in some way. Or situation where I have to choose to stand my ground or be a pushover.

The problem is that I am not confident in my abilities to handle these kinds of situations correctly, and usually engage in avoidant strategies and then later ruminating and self-blaming.

In awkward situations like rude drivers or road rage, rude clerks or office workers, mean coworkers or etc, I try to convince myself that avoiding confrontation is the best and the safest. Cause I never know what these people could do. Also, having a confrontation or standing my ground may cause a terrible emotional reaction in me, which can stay in my mind as a traumatic memory forever, and it may also change people's impression of me which I may regret. Or the person may find me an easy target due to my small built and may start attacking and beating me.

I wish I were taller, stronger and more charismatic, so people wouldn't dare doing any of those things to me. I also wish I could be better at confrontation, awkward feelings, handling interpersonal issues, insults or mean people correctly.

My mind is often occupied with these kinds of thoughts and regrets. Seeing other people being used or disrespected, hearing their stories, or watching movie characters being bullied, abused, beaten or not being able to stand their ground triggers or aggravates these thinking patterns and makes me more anxious.

Even my family members want me to be more confrontational and assertive or even a bit aggressive.

So, I think my interpersonal skills are not enough for adult life. Here's why :

1_ I'm small-built and also shy and introvert, which probably makes people think of as an easier and weaker target. And I wouldn't be able to defend myself against a taller and stronger person.

2_ I'm afraid of my awkward emotional reaction towards people yelling at me or insulting me. But avoiding confrontations and not standing my ground can also make me blame myself.

3_ I tend to care about fairness, and lack of it within the society can make me furious. But society and people are not always fair.

4_ I care about what other people might think or say behind my back, and its impact on my reputation or future. So by people-pleasing or at least not bothering people, even if it means not defending or asserting myself, I try to stay under the radar.

5_ And I don't really know when I should just let it go and de-escalate or keep quiet, avoid, stand my ground, fight back, insult back, etc.

I have read books, watched youtube videos, but I still haven't been able to fix this problem or change myself. I sometimes think it means I might have mild autism and these deficits can never be fixed. Other times I relate it to high Fe and low Se (due to being an INFJ).

I really need your help. Where and how should I start?

----------------------

Do you know the story of The Ugly Duckling? I interpret the story as being about perception, specifically, how easy it is for perception to be wrong, as well as how quickly a minor flaw in perception can escalate into a majorly faulty belief system. It sounds like your perception has been distorted and now you hold faulty beliefs that need to be corrected. Since you lack self-confidence, you tend to catastrophize - your mind always jumps to the worst possibilities.

You say self-worth issues are "due to" being petite. This is a faulty belief. If being petite causes low self-worth, one would expect every petite person to have low self-worth. Is that the case? Not at all. A lot of people are below average height and live fine. In fact, you'd be surprised at how many well-known people are/were actually quite small in stature, just off the top of my head: Gandhi, Prince, Danny Devito, Sabrina Carpenter, Peter Dinklage, Judy Garland.

If being petite is not the actual cause of low self-worth, then what is? "Worth" relates to the method you use to make value judgments, so if you are always coming to unreasonably negative judgments about yourself, there is a problem with your value system. Do you believe that a below average sized person has less value than an average or above average sized person? You must believe it, otherwise, you wouldn't think that you are worth less than others, and you would not wish to be bigger and taller in order to be worth more.

Perhaps you don't personally believe that petite people have no value, so you claim that it is "society" which believes they have no value, and you are a victim of society. Is that true, though? Or is this another faulty belief? You said smaller people get bullied because they are easier targets, so, it's not because they are worthless - that's an important difference. Bullies chose you because they couldn't handle someone their own size or bigger. Therefore, the bullying did not have any relation to your self-worth; what it actually reflected was the bully's cowardice.

Why is it that many petite people don't get bullied? Some of it is down to luck; perhaps you've been unlucky in meeting lots of jerks throughout life. But some of it is down to your attitude. The impression that you leave on people plays a big role in how they approach you. For example, when you look down upon yourself, you teach others that it's okay to look down upon you too.

If you are always anxious and cowering in fear, treating every person as a potential threat, what does that communicate to people? Unfortunately, it communicates that you are an easy target. If you are always expecting to get dominated and bullied, you're more likely to attract bullies to your doorstep. Physical size isn't actually as important a factor as how you present yourself to people. When INFJs haven't developed Fe properly, they don't have a realistic view of how they come across to others.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't about blaming the victim. The people who bullied you were wrong. You don't deserve mistreatment. The problem is that bullying is a form of trauma, and trauma distorts the mind. It makes you hypersensitive to social threats, even seeing threats where there are none. And it also makes you hypersensitive to the things that you were bullied about, in this case, your physical size.

The other day, I had to hire someone to do household repairs. On the day of the repair, this tall dude arrives and could barely fit through the door. As he was walking down some stairs, he bumped his head on a lower part of the ceiling that he didn't notice because he was carrying a lot of tools. I felt so bad for him and I tried to monitor his head safety thereafter. Unfortunately, he's had lots of experience hitting his head on various things.

With your past experience, all you can see is how being petite is a "deficiency". As such, envy blinds you to the possibility that being larger can be a curse and being petite can actually be a gift. This repair guy was often admired for his stature, but he actually viewed his tallness as a "deficiency" all his life. From his perspective, smaller people have a great life because they don't always feel like they're in the way and can easily fit comfortably into any space.

Everyone has sore spots. Sore spots are things you feel insecure or hypersensitive about because of a perceived (psychological or physical) deficit. However, what you haven't understood is that what gets classified as a "deficit" is often a mere matter of perspective. The lesson of The Ugly Duckling story is that his perception of himself was wrong because he had been misled to believe that he was abnormal and deficient by others. This story teaches you that what one person experiences as a "deficiency", another person might experience as an "advantage".

Thus, the key to overcoming your hypersensitivity is to learn how to change your perspective, aka cognitive restructuring, which is something Ni+Fe can easily do. If you can't do it, then it indicates there's something awry with your function development (unhealthy Ni tunnel vision + Fe overindulgence). Your perspective seems very small and very rigid, so it's time to expand and adjust it.

Sure, people can be mean, and society can lead people to value the wrong things, and that's what you focus all your attention on. However, most people aren't mean, and society can't touch your personal values within. You always have a choice as to i) how you respond to mean people, if at all, and ii) whether you adopt the twisted values that society tries to inculcate in you. An important aspect of growing up into a full-fledged adult is learning how to think for yourself, which includes being able to challenge and change faulty beliefs/values and adjust your perspective as necessary to get closer to the truth.

Being bullied often keeps people trapped like a child, feeling helpless and powerless. "Power" doesn't come primarily from physical size, rather, it comes from the mental belief in yourself. Instead of getting lost in victim mentality, acknowledge that there are things within your power to change that would improve your situation. You said yourself that you lack interpersonal skills. Well, I have good news for you: skills can be improved through step-by-step learning, study, and practice. Start with whatever seems most pressing for you, perhaps enlist the help of a therapist. For example, I have discussed most of the following before in relation to developing healthy Fe in INFJs:

emotional intelligence: you could learn how to handle your feelings and emotions better, in order to communicate about them in a more reasonable and matter-of-fact way

optimism: you could learn to approach people in an empathetic and encouraging way, with positive expectations, in order to influence them to be positive to you in return

assertiveness: you could adjust your values to believe that you are equal to everyone else and that your existence is just as legitimate as anyone else's, which would help you stand up and advocate for your needs better

self-confidence: you could improve your communication and conflict resolution skills, which would help you feel more confident and exercise better judgment during social interactions

self-defense: although the majority of people aren't physically violent unless extremely provoked, it might help you feel more physically powerful and better prepared for confrontation by learning self-defense or martial arts

social support network: you could expand your network of friends and supporters so that you feel less alone and have people to rely on in times of stress or danger

self-work: you could use other successful petite people as inspirational role models; observe how they succeed in commanding respect and admiration and learn some lessons about how to show people the best of yourself, rather than only focusing on what you hate about yourself

It is a fact that you are petite, and facts should be met with acceptance. Trying to deny the facts will only get you lost in wishful thinking (unhealthy Ni), as well as the toxic shame of an inferiority complex (unhealthy Fe). Once you're able to accept the facts, then your mind can move forward into adopting adaptation strategies. No matter what your sore spots are, it is important to understand that they are not a curse and they are not meant to ruin your life. Confronting your sore spots and learning to live with them successfully is precisely how you grow as a person. However, you won't be able to benefit from your sore spots as long as you keep trying to reject them and wish them away. They are an important part of you. Improving self-worth means learning to accept and love yourself, which means ALL of yourself.

[circular-bircular]

2 Cents

(Get it? Cause it's all about change? I'm hilarious)

The response to SAS has been stunning, to say the least. Duh, of course you know what I'm talking about -- Woooahhhhh the major anti-endo is pro-endo now!!!

Only, I really don't want to frame it like that. And... I'm so relieved to see so many taking it in stride and not framing it like that.

Me and Dude have been friends for a very, very long while -- or at least it feels like a long time. DID makes it hard and all to really realize how much time passes. But I consider Dude one of my close friends at this time, and I hope people can see why. He's a person who's willing to change, albeit stubbornly, and he works so hard to be kind -- even when the world has been so much less than kind back.

And one thing I've always known is that Dude was anti-endo, but willing to compromise on those opinions and beliefs if it meant furthering the science of it all, and understanding more about all of this. As time went on, it became understanding more about CDDs than ever before, fueled less by frustration and more by genuine curiosity. It's what attracted me to this friendship in the first place.

Seeing Dude repeatedly start to say that he is pro-endo warmed my heart, but not because of the pro-endo part; it was because of the change part. Because so many people struggle with that, with the idea that they can change. Me being one of them.

It's been... so difficult trying to carve out a place in syscourse. In life. I started out pro-endo and manipulated into very nearly thinking I wasn't a DID system at all. I moved to this nebulous area where i was harassed for stepping out of line. I was neutral, I became anti-endo, neutral again -- constantly flip flopping because I didn't have anyone or anything to hold onto. I didn't get to have a community. I didn't get to be anything other than The Bad Guy.

While I was in a CDD server, I at least had that community, but even that wasn't what I wanted. Even that wasn't good for me, even if it was good in other ways. Maybe I'll find the good again someday.

But seeing this outpouring of support... As someone who now no longer uses any syscourse label (Call me what you want, I really don't care), it's a goddamn relief to see someone being accepted with open arms. It's a relief to see people being so kind and generous, both with asks and with comments. I have to be blunt and say how jealous I am, seeing the outcropping of support.

But I'm also relieved to see my experience really is far from the norm... while also acknowledging that I am incredibly braced for impact at the moment due to those experiences.

I'm an incredibly stubborn person, I'm able to admit it. I struggle to change. I'm incredibly set in my ways. But I also do change, rapidly, flipping on a dime when I think it's what the other person wants. (Honestly, part of why I appreciate Dude so much was his insistence on slowing down, getting the facts, and making an educated decision based on that). And recently with syscourse, I've felt as if I have to slam my fist into the table and shout and scream about How Pro-Endo I Am, just in case anyone was lumping me in with those anti-endos -- but then I saw how some pro-endos were acting, and I felt I couldn't say anything about it-- ugh, I'm rambling.

All that is to say, I've felt so... stunningly alone lately, even with the support of my friends. I'm alone in syscourse. I'm alone in recovery. So many of my friends are moving on, healing, growing, and... Here I am, just a silly little circle on their blog, young and stupid and dumb.

So I'm glad people are accepting Dude, not as a pro-endo, but as someone who has grown. It gives me a lot of hope for my future. A lot of hope for finding a community -- not as a pro-endo, or anti-endo, or syscourse anything.

Just as a person.

Does that make sense?

I hope other people out there, stuck in syscourse like me, feeling very alone in a very large world, can see how willing people are to extend a hand. I hope I've extended my own enough. I just... have a lot of hope for the future.

@sysmedsaresexist Thanks for helping give me that right now <3

[wtvcherrii]

Okay. Lets start again from the beginning shall we?

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Red Cherry Rain, but you all can call me Cherry for short. I am the host of a traumagenic D.I.D. system that goes by the name of The Nightmare District. When I first created this tumblr it was out of retaliation to the Endo community on here. Some of the things said on this tumblr have been out of pocket and wrong of me to do and I do truly apologize to all the people I have hurt by my past posts. These posts weren't just sharing my views on the endo community but more attacking them for their beliefs. My own belief does still stand. But that being said, I will not continue to attack the endogenic community on this platform or any other platforms that I run. I am allowed to have my own rights and views on the endogenic topic but so can everyone else. Hence from here on out I will look at what endos send to me, but that being said I will share my own personal views on what is shared. For anyone who comes to me, I will share my opinion, but I will not try to force that opinion on anyone else. This is me agreeing to disagree on your views. Now what does this mean for future posts. For any post regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder I will continue to use plural tags on the platform, I will not use these tags to share hate, but to share my own life experiences with D.I.D. and how I live as a system. Hate is not a good thing to spread and can instead cause discourse among everyone on the platform, no matter which side you are on. I ask that the people doing so refrain from doing it anymore. If you do not like or agree with what I am posting you may leave your opinions, I will indeed read them. But with that, I will not change my style just to cater to one person. If you truly do just fully despise my content you may block me and move on with your life, I will not hold a grudge against you for it. Everyone's style in content creation is different, my community will find me and grow because of the people who enjoy my work. I will no longer kekw at endos, but much rather I will share my opinion and walk away. This page is not endo safe, but I will also not personally hunt you down, I will mention though that the majority of people in my discord though do share the same view on you as I do, proceed with caution. We will not attack you, but we may politely ask you to leave.

In regards to AspenFrostEN: I no longer wish to correspond with Aspen, I do wish to coexist peacefully with Aspen and the Entourage System. I personally do not agree with the route that Aspen has taken with her community and her content. I do not hate her, I am more disappointed with the way she is making systems look on every platform. For someone who promotes and stands for healing, she does not make it easy for anyone. As mentioned before, Aspen if you do happen to read this, you do have my discord and I do not mind speaking with you privately. But this does not give you any right to attack me and the rest of The Nightmare District, you have indeed indirectly done this twice on your tiktok page and we do not appreciate it. I have been asked and I will say it here, you may apologize and I will forgive you, but you have a lot to do to earn back my trust, especially with what you have done. My discord server is open to all who have dealt with Aspen and would like to share their story, open a ticket and my staff team will indeed get to you All in all I truly am sorry for everything I have done and this is my time to change, I do not expect to be forgiven, and I understand that for some that will be difficult to do, but I promise you all I am trying to change for the better. If anyone of you would indeed like to speak to me privately I do ask that you join my discord and open a ticket where I will gladly be of service to anyone who would like to speak to me privately. Thank you all for giving me a chance to explain. Below I will link my server for those who need it! Thank you.

[controversialhottakes]

Apparently these are unpopular opinions but I don't want Wilmon to be endgame and I don't want Wilhelm to abdicate. (I think the show might be heading down the Wilmon endgame + abdication route but I can't imagine them doing it in a way which would feel satisfying to me personally.)

All I could think about throughout the whole season was how unsuitable for each other these two are. They're so different, and I don't just mean their backgrounds, I mean every single thing about them. Their personalities (this one is huuuuge), their values, apparently even their interests since after 3 seasons I can't really name a single thing they both genuinely enjoy (maybe rowing? or was Simon there for a reason? can't remember), unless we count sex which... fair but a rather shaky framework if a long-term relationship is what you're after.

What do they even talk about? Other than Simon hating the system which Wilhelm is at the very centre of. Or the fact that they don't understand each other because Wilhelm is too privileged and Simon is too big a socialist. And while I hate the phrasing I do agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly because it's actually absolutely 100% true. What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a conflict of interest. Plain and simple.

One thing that was very clear from the very beginning is that Simon doesn't understand what a relationship with a crown prince entails and that he's really not the kind of person who'd want or should be in such a relationship. He cares too much about other people's opinions, which isn't necessarily bad in and of itself, but people are going to have a lot of opinions if you're dating someone in the public eye, especially the future king, and they're going to be nasty af. Because they can. It's just the reality, nothing you can do about it.

I know a lot of people say that he didn't get media training and so on and so forth. And it is very true and valid. However, a lot of this boils down to his personality. You don't need media training to know that reading comments is a bad idea, let alone replying to them. To me, it's just common sense, and I know he's only 16, but even though it's been a while, I do still remember being 16 and my mindset (on this subject) has not changed since then. Especially if you know you're going to take it to heart, you shouldn't even be looking at the bs people post online.

Simon doesn't fit into Wilhelm's world not because he's poor. He doesn't fit into Wilhelm's world because his personality and values simply don't work in this context. How do you even begin to solve a problem like this? You just can't.

Simon has a very strong personality and even stronger beliefs. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it's admirable, but this creates so many problems that are virtually unsolvable. If you watch the series (not just the third season, it's been shown consistently), Simon needs Wilhelm to agree with him. And he wants Wilhelm to do it openly and preferably to feel about it as strongly as he does. Which simply isn't going to happen. In order for this to work, Simon would have to change his entire personality and that would be just awful.

Re: Wilhelm abdicating. You don't make a decision like that at the age of 17. Because this is literally life-changing and there's no going back. His brother just died. His mother is having a nervous breakdown. His father is absolutely helpless. You work through all of that first.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it's only been a couple of months since the accident. Oh and now Wilhelm finds out that his brother was human and not some perfect Disney prince. And he gets front row seats to his always-unnaturally-composed mother's descent into literal madness. Just imagine how terrifying it must feel. This boy is going through a lot, this is not the time to be making huge decisions.

I genuinely believe that Wilhelm would make a great king. Keep in mind that for 16 years, it never occured to him that he might have to do this. This was dropped on him like a bag of cement, together with the news that his older brother, whom he worshipped, was dead. All things considered, he's doing great. Come to think of it, Erik's death is the root of 99% of Wilhelm's current problems. Like he said, he never got to grieve and now on top of that he thinks that his brother was an arsehole and would have hated him for dating another boy. But I think Wilhelm finding out about what happened at the initiation is actually going to help him heal.

Wilhelm abidicating just feels too much like giving in, like he was running away from his problems which is a bit OOC. And it would feel like he was doing it for Simon which is such a bad idea on so many levels. I can't put into words how stupid it would be and, as impulsive as he can get at times, Wilhelm doesn't strike me as the kind of person to just completely fail to think of consequences of his actions when it comes to something this big. I can't for the life of me explain why, but he does come across as rather level-headed and sensible, specially for a 16/17-year-old going through what he's been going through. Certain... incidents... aside (the rifle... yeah, the hell were you thinking? you need to chill out and let it go). Season 2 was peak recklessness, he seems a bit more mellow and settled now. Although breaking up with Simon might turn out to be the final straw, yikes...

[fire-branded]

I don't remember if I've made a headcanon post about this before, but I'll make this one regardless because it's been rattling around in my brain thanks to drafts.

I have the habit of talking about the state of Rosaria, both before and after The Night of Flames, in pretty general, broad strokes. But the situation there is not in the least bit black and white. The game itself does, at times, lean towards an, "Elwin good, Anabella bad" perspective in the narrative, but that isn't representative of the views of all of Rosaria, and I don't believe it's intended to be that -- rather, it's the views of those who support Elwin and how things were under his rule, or at the very least who disagree with Anabella's rule and the way the nation has become under Imperial control.

We're introduced mainly to characters who lean in one direction, and few to none who lean in the other direction; however, those people do very much exist.

As we see with Clive and Jill after the first timeskip, and as was also the case with Cid, those who fight for change are well aware that there will be backlash. There's backlash from those who disagree with their mentality, there's backlash from those who don't follow in the belief that discomfort in the "now" is necessary for a better future. There's backlash. Not everyone is going to be on-board with what's going on, with these radical movements, and that's to be expected. I'd imagine Elwin, too, knew and understood this, and like the others, chose to push on regardless -- no matter the risk to himself.

A good example is what took place at Phoenix Gate; my headcanon for that is that the ducal soldiers who betrayed him weren't swayed by Anabella, at least not entirely. She was able to sway them because they were among the number of citizens who disagreed with Elwin's decisions and goals, providing the perfect opportunity for them to get rid of him. My headcanon for their train of thought is that without the influence of Elwin and Clive in Joshua's life, Joshua was so young that he would have made for the perfect puppet to rule in Elwin's stead -- on the assumption that he would be impressionable enough to be molded by Anabella into ruling the way that she -- and they -- wanted for Rosaria. (Since Joshua was never intended to die during The Night of Flames, he would have taken the throne following Elwin's death, and blah blah blah.)

But even if the canonical Elwin didn't factor in the number of enemies he had(though his will does suggest that he did), mine sure does. He always has been aware of the target he's painted on his own back with his views and goals. He knows that those who oppose him aren't limited only to the nobility, either; there are also plenty of common citizens who do as well, for one reason or another. He knows that with those who favor the structure of their society and the power and comfortableness that comes from it, or who envision a "better" Rosaria that conflicts with Elwin's goals and beliefs(because even in terms of politics, he is, at the end of the day, one who prioritizes defending what Rosaria has, rather than taking more from others), his plans for reform are going to gain him their ire. Because yes, for a society that profits heavily off of the slavery of a particular group of people, he is asking them to give up their comforts, their lifestyles, the benefits they gain from putting these slaves to use, in favor of a better future that they themselves will likely not be alive to see(or may not even agree with).

Weaning Rosaria off of its reliance upon magic, overhauling their governmental systems, researching things like medical aid for Bearers afflicted by the Curse and building universities dedicated towards developing technologies that will replace the usage of magic, even finding ways to halt the Blight and restore land that has been drained of every drop of aether -- these, along with everything else Elwin had planned, will take resources and time.

Change of this magnitude is not going to be a smooth, effortless, easy transition. It's not reasonable to expect it to be. Rosaria is, essentially, being dismantled, in order to be built back up brick by brick into a new Rosaria. But that is not something that can be accomplished in a night, or even a handful of years. Elwin knows that these radical changes will not be finished during his lifetime, and so he entrusts Clive and Joshua to continue where he leaves off when he dies, so that they in turn can keep the wheels of change moving, and so on across generations.

Again, that parallel I always love making between Elwin and The Founder.

Just like in the tale of The Founder, there are going to be those who will see what they're doing and join in, and there are going to be those who scoff at their work or disagree with their efforts. But just like in the tale of The Founder, they keep going regardless. Elwin keeps going despite the backlash, because he believes that the hardships and struggles will be more than worth it in the end.

Even when it comes to Miles, he isn't fool enough to think that everyone in Rosaria is anti-Anabella and anti-Sanbreque. The political climate, same as the perspectives of Rosaria's people, are not that black and white. This is amplified by the fact that while there are still those who had already been rejecting Elwin's ideals, there are now others who oppose those ideals because of the harsh climate that Anabella has fostered with her own rule. Entire villages are being slaughtered by Anabella's Black Shields for a mere thought or rumor that they might be loyal to Elwin and how the duchy had been, or that they sympathize with or harbor runaway Bearers. You have Auldhyl, where its people had been slaughtered and strung up as a warning to those who might oppose Anabella's Rosaria. You have Eastpool, where royal Bearers and Bearers from Rosalith had fled in hopes of sanctuary, where everyone was killed and everything destroyed, despite Eastpool being a key source of providing goods for Rosaria itself and for trade purposes. All because they could no longer afford to care for themselves under the strain of also caring for the refugee Bearers, and the village leader reached out to the authorities for them to come and take the Bearers away.

When Clive and Jill, before then, first happen across a small village that turns them away, the reason stated is that the Black Shields will kill them all if they catch wind of the situation. That isn't a risk that the villagers are willing to take, and understandably so. They have not just themselves to think about, but their families and friends too, because everyone will be killed indiscriminately.

But it isn't just fear that makes the Imperial Province of Rosaria such a turbulent place to live; Anabella has also fostered an environment that encourages brutality and disloyalty, and self-preservation. She's also fostered an environment that reinforces the viewpoint that Bearers are less-than-human, they are inferior and shameful. And because Rosaria's economy is in absolute shambles, too, the scorn towards Bearers is amplified because making gil to survive is next to impossible, but turning runaway Bearers or selling magic users to be branded and sold is rewarded with a pretty penny or two. Why wouldn't you sell out your family or friends who have magic if it means getting what you need in order to survive? For those who may have harbored hesitance towards the prospect of perpetuating the cycle of slavery, the economical destruction of the former duchy incentivizes embracing it, even if it means going as far as selling your infant.

Where was I going with all of this. The tl;dr is that Rosaria's state is complicated, and my Elwin knows and understands this. Liberating it from Anabella and Sanbreque is only the beginning. The road to rebuilding it will be incredibly long and difficult.

Miles, in good conscience, can't be angry at those who duck their heads and bow to the system in order to survive, because they're doing exactly that: trying to survive. And while those who push for change will die through one cause or another without support and unity, the belief -- or hope -- is that the number of people who fight for that better future for everyone will continue to rise and gain strength while the number of people who oppose it will lessen, until such a point that Rosaria will be born anew under the prior's efforts.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

And here you thought I'd vanished /j pt. 2

TL;DR: here's why I've been so quiet, and what I'll probably be posting about in the future.

My life and identity have changed my practice in a way that's not widely talked about.

So, after some thinking, I... kinda want to talk about it.

That was the ending of the last post, but the rest of this post needs context. So. What the fuck am I being all cryptic about anyway?? Quite a few things actually! I have another blog that I generally call "the weird closet" because it's where I keep all the things I don't want to put on this blog because the idea of it being associated with me as a tarot reader is pretty damn scary. I've decided fuck that, actually. I'll still be keeping that blog, as it acts as a journal now for more personal things, but I think I'd much rather be open about the stranger parts of myself and lose some followers and possibly ruin my change of doing tarot readings professionally than filter myself on my own blog that I made for my own practice as a witch.

So: I'll just be blunt as possible. "My" practice was secretly a group project. Recently, I've discovered my plurality. For those of you who are interested I'll make a more in-depth post on this sometime, but for now I'll focus on what exactly that is and how it effects this blog. I'll focus on my own situation, and it's not a monolith, so please be aware that I'm not giving formal definitions here.

Our collective- AKA system, we prefer the term collective- is multiple people who share one body. Frog, who you all know- that's me. The one typing this post. I'm not the only one in here, surprise! I know I sure as hell was. In our case, this is not DID nor OSDD. We're non-disordered. I call everyone else in our collective "headmates," like roommates! We're very open so feel free to ask questions about us as individuals, how our collective works, etc. etc. It might even help us figure some stuff out about ourselves. As for how this effects our practice; well.... we're learning to have our own practice as individuals. We haven't recently because there's been a lull in our ability to practice as witches, but ultimately the plan is to allow anyone who wants their own practice to develop their own practice and style with it.

As for how this effects this blog in particular; you'll see a lot more posts from someone other than me, simple as that. Some of our collective don't give a fuck about spirituality and will never really post here, meanwhile others have a major interest in it or in one case in particular being a witch is a core part of their identity; so you'll see some variety. This will allow us to post more often, so hopefully this blog will be less dead when there's no pressure for me to be the only one running it and be filtering myself the whole time.

As a second point; I, and many others in this collective, have nonhuman identities. You may not know what that is either, and we're also open about that. Part of my personal spiritual beliefs is that my soul's truest form is draconic in nature. As for the others, many of them are nonhuman and/or fictives, so they experience their identity as Alterhuman in some way. I have less to say about that because it's a bit less relevant to our practices and therefore this blog, but it probably will get brought up.

So that's a huge fucking post, but it's context I figured I should give y'all before we continue posting on here!

[nrilliree]

https://www.tumblr.com/spacerockfloater/745120064183943168/oh-i-absolutely-sympathise-with-alicent-criston?source=share

Favoritism isn't the issue; the problem is that he is negligent and petty towards innocent children who haven't done anything to him.

2. Alicent demanding the baby immediately after birth was purely out of pettiness and as a power play. Joffrey's hair color won't change in an hour. Allowing Rhaenyra to spend time with Joffrey and letting the baby be bathed and changed wouldn't magically change his hair color.

3. It's funny how fans of the TG always say Rhaenyra taking Joffrey to Alicent was her decision, but Alicent showing her feet to Larys in exchange for information is coercion, even though he never blackmails her and she has much more power than him.

4. Criston is just a big hypocrite who believes himself morally superior to judge and insult others when he has gotten away with killing a nobleman, hitting the future king consort and son of a Targaryen princess, as well as causing a disturbance that endangered several nobles during the party and still getting away with it.

Criston insults Rhaenyra, but never shows any kind of disgust towards Aegon, who harasses the maids and enjoys watching children tearing each other apart; that should tell you something about him. The man was even quite proud to call him the true heir to the throne and put a crown on his head. That's a big demonstration that he doesn't really care much about morals and justice.

5. The first thing Aegon did as King in the book was literally fire Otto, and in the show, he's heading down the same path. 😭

6. If Daemon is a pedophile, then Criston is too. Why do people act like Criston is a teenager and the same age as Rhaenyra?

7. It's ironic that he says Daemon massacred people when Team Green has a bunch of murderers (including Criston himself), and Alicent ordered Larys to get rid of Mysaria, causing him to burn down a brothel full of innocent women and possibly children...

This is why I use the teacher argument, because I can bet my left arm that if these people were in Rhaenyra's position and some person they hurt in the past took it out on the children they have power over, he wouldn't be so keen support such situations. Criston is in a position where this shouldn't happen.

Especially since Alicent knew Aemma's story very well and knew that giving birth could also have consequences for Rhaenyra. She knew well that Rhaenyra would bring the baby herself (because it wasn't the first time), but she demanded it anyway.

Of course. Because Alicent is more the victim. Rhaenyra is a spoiled cunt and deserves what Alicent did to her, and Alicent is a poor thing who was forced to do everything.

Criston is justified (like Alicent) for everything he has done, because he is a pawn of the system oppressed by the monarchy, and it is very good that he decided to stand up. That's right. And I can bet that if the situation at the tournament were reversed and Criston won and then Daemon attacked him FROM BEHIND, they would not call Daemon an honorable winner, but an asshole who cheats and plays without honor. And for me, Criston doesn't have even an ounce of pure honor after everything he's done.

To this day I still don't know why Aegon thought Criston would be a good replacement for Otto. Just…why him? Criston has never even led anything on his own, so where did you get the idea that he would be a good Hand :P?

It seems to me that Criston's fans: a) like a large part of TG, do not know the definition of pedophilia, b) have no idea how old Criston is. AND HE IS FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN VISERYS. He's Daemon's age! But he's more handsome, so we forgive him :P?

You know what? I really think that this person is either a troll or is so detached from reality in own belief that everyone is stupider and less educated that a discussion with him is pointless :P

[bonefall]

I think the most pertinent, fundamental question to ask at this point is: How canon do we want to make the 1981 musical Cats by Andrew Lloyd Webber to Better Bones? Since you've done so fantastically well at fleshing out alternate but no-less-viable systems of belief, that door has been left wiiiide open. Stripped of the zany dance numbers and stage actors in copious makeup, you can't deny that the underlying Jellicle cat religion / Heavyside Layer wouldn't be out of place. Don't lie to us. Don't you dare.

We don't know when the musical takes place, but as for where, the Jellicle Cats and their religion are centralized in a junkyard somewhere in London. Depending on how far their area of influence extends, there could be a few cats in a sect or two of BloodClan who practice the faith of a land to the south, or otherwise believe in the existence of the Heavyside Layer. Or say, the junkyard is done away with in the late 90's and a diaspora of Jellicle Cats spreads across the land. Their descendants hope one day to make the pilgrimage for one last ball, and are invariably seen as Rather Offputting by everyone. (In-story it'd all amount to rare sequiturs from a nameless extra or two which increase in probability the further one heads south.)

Hey bonefall hey, do you think Skyclan has a word for this? It'd be a corruption of the English "dear little [cats], of which "Jellicle" is a romanization. How would you say Jellicle with Clanmew pronunciation?

You can't run from this forever.

Stripped of the zany musical numbers and stage actors in copious makeup??? What are you, Tom Hooper?!

If you're going to put the Jellicles in the BB Universe, you fucking BETTER be taking inspiration from the cancelled 1997 Steven Spielberg animated musical adaptation which places the cats in postwar London sometime circa 1945 and implied that the cats had heavily cultural emphasis on song, dance, and performance

Which btw would place Grizabella's Jellicle Ball pretty firmly in the Code Era of my adaptation (built around the canonical tidbit that Turtle Tail was hit by a Ford Model T meaning the Dawn Era was pre-war).

It would be before the main Warrior cast is born (Except Holly due to infamous Time Travel Shenanigans)-- but Jellicles, after all, were there when the Sphinx was built, so it's safe to assume they'd still be around in the future as a cultural group.

Really the biggest barrier is that they live in bloodbourne London. Too far southeast to communicate with Clan cats or even BloodClan, who are northwest. Park Cats are from further south, but no further south than Gloucestershire at most.

So, serious answer, they can absolutely be canon in this universe, or at the very least they can be slotted in easily. I built a brand new religion system exactly to accommodate the existence of multiple cultural groups and honor the afterlives of each.

In fact, Jellicles fit perfectly into it.

They have a heaven (Heavyside Layer) but no hell, exactly the way that a "vanilla" type religion can form on its own. Really there's just one question-- what's their leader power?

Old Deuteronomy...

Is said to have lived many lives in succession (possible continual reincarnation?)

May choose the next cat to ascend to the Heavyside Layer (immediate patronification?)

But at the same time, there are some cats who seem to display magical powers, akin to the Sister's power distribution system. Mr. Mistoffelees is one, able to perform simple magical tricks. As far as I remember, there are two.

Conjuration (Ability to change the location of an object in space)

Levitation

These both seem like versions of the same power, really. It makes sense, too, that culturally they would value agility to the point of veneration. It ties into dancing, avoiding cars and dogs, stealing things.

In any case though-- you begin to lose these sorts of abilities the further you go from a group, without some kind of token. The Sisters are the example I've written so far; Tree needs some kind of item in order to see ghosts when he's not near the rest of the Sisters. The Jellicles are also a pretty proud group, I can't see them making these "tokens" for any old wanderer.

So maybe there's just a few of them, and Macavity has one stolen?

hmmmm... Maybe those reincarnations have to do with who's supposed to Hold The Token, and Old Doot has basically been one of them for eons. Maybe Mistoffelees was the most recent reincarnation from the Jellicle Ball?

Anyway TL;DR yeah Jellicle cats can exist in Better Bones, they're just too far away to interact with Clan cats.

Clanmew pronunciation of Jellicle = "Shewakl"

[sophieinwonderland]

Positivity anon.

You will fail then, simply put. If you continue to make yourself out as a monster, you will be reinforcing all of the things anti endos believe. You will be proving that endogenic systems are ableist towards CDD systems, in their minds, regardless of how you treat pro-endo CDD systems.

Did you treat SAS like this? I’ve been around in syscourse far longer than you have, nearly for that decade that you’ve mentioned, and on the internet for far longer than that still. I don’t remember seeing vitriol like this back then. I don’t remember you treating known “monstrous” anti-endos that way.

I don’t remember anything but kindness making this world a better place.

It’s not tone policing to let you know that actively retraumatizing anti endos will do nothing but retraumatize them. You will not make less anti endos this way. You will not make things any safer for endogenjc systems. You won’t be working toward plural acceptance.

Meanwhile, I just had another anti-endo friend of mine come to me to tell me they’ve changed, and they regret how they’ve acted. I’ve worked with this friend to remind them that, while I thought their beliefs about endogenic were horrible and dehumanizing and wrong, I believed they could be a better person, and I knew our differences couldn’t stop us from co-existing. I was the first endogenic system they knew who didn’t treat them like a monster.

When all you’re treated as is a monster, then you will stay a monster. And most days, it feels like that’s what you want. After all, if you didn’t have anti-endos, what would be left of your blog? Isn’t this all you do now? Attacking anti endos as much as possible to further instigate and traumatize them into becoming so monstrous that (somehow) they become irrelevant? I still don’t understand your logic.

This isn’t the plural future I want. When you said the future is plural, I thought you meant we would accept all systems — traumatized or not. Traumatized people will fuck up and make mistakes. Being anti endo is one of those mistakes. What you show to everyone is that making that mistake makes people irredeemable, worthy of the trauma they���ve experienced, and bigots with no hope of reaching a safe environment where they no longer feel the need to lash out.

I just want to show anti endos that there’s a way to change and grow.

Did you treat SAS like this?

Like what?

SAS and I had lots of back and forths, and they certainly weren't always kind on either side.

I didn't yell at them. I tried not to call them names. I didn't use profanity. But at least aside from the very early beginning, I wasn't warm and cuddly to them either.

But if you look at how I handle anti-endos directly when I talk to them... I don't think I've changed my tactics that much. I think if you compared how I responded to SAS 2 years ago, it's probably not much different from how I handle anti-endos directly today.

I'll make the big scary posts every now and then, but those are separate from my direct interactions with anti-endos.

I think that how I engage with individual anti-endos is the same as it's always been. I'll point out flaws in their arguments, I'll counter them with links to academic resources, etc.

I don’t remember anything but kindness making this world a better place.

What about passion?

What about righteous anger?

Would LGBT acceptance have made it as far as it has today (even with as far as it has yet to go) without the Stonewall Riots?

I am not suggesting that we are to the point where we need riots either. Nor that we're enduring the level of systematic oppression as LGBT people in the 60s. But what I am saying is that there's an alternate universe where, when the police raided, the LGBT community at the time bowed their heads and went along in silence because they didn't want to create stir. A universe where there were no riots and no gay pride parade to mark its anniversary.

In that universe, would gay marriage even be legal today?

I look around at this community, and I see so many people who are mistreated by society for being plural. But despite this, they have been conditioned to accept it. They've been conditioned to feel like there is something wrong with them for the way they are, for being plural.

And I want them to know that it's not their fault that they've been mistreated. That they've been bullied. That they've been accused of faking.

And that this shouldn't have to be the way the world is.

That we can change it.

But we can't change it if we aren't angry about it first. If we're complacent and just accept it the way it is, nothing will change.

We need to be willing to come together and loudly proclaim that we will not tolerate intolerance.

I respect what you're doing. I truly do. And I think the endogenic community needs people like you in it, who are willing to reach across to the other side.

But I think it also needs people who are willing to call bigotry what it is.

Because while kindness is great, kindness alone without passion will simply be complacency with the status quo, and acceptance of hate.

And that is unacceptable.