#(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.)

[astralazuli]

So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.

& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.

& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.

Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.

[vampiresuns]

Aelius Anatole Radošević De Silva

Anatole has changed a bit as a character since i was around the first time, so he’s getting re introduced. His open to make friends.

art by @elizastarkart​

Name: Aelius Anatole Radoševic De Silva. He has two surnames because his mother is latina. He is a mixed Latine-Slav, with family that is all latine, vesuvian, and slavic. People he’s friend’s with call him Anatole (russian/greek pronunciation, he doesn’t acknowledge the French one). Only people he has a strictly professional relationship with, and his uncle call him Aelius.

‘Aelius’ means sun, while ‘Anatole’ means sunrise. He’s fully aware of this, he chose his name himself.

His nicknames are:

‘Nana’ is the most common nickname, and the one most people use.

His mother calls him Lilito, Nana, Nanito, Toly, Tolito, Tortolito.

His father calls him Lily or Lilu.

Toly, Tolytoly or Tolito are nicknames used by his maternal grandmother, his aunt, and his Vesuvian family.

He will not mind if you want to call him Toly, but you cannot call him Lily/Lilu if you’re not his father.

Asra came up with Nanatole, which he doesn’t like but lets Asra call him anyway. Asra also came up with Nana Banana and that is absolutely forbidden.

Family: on his father’s side both the Radošević, who are slavic (yugoslavic, specifically), and the Cassano, a prominent Vesuvian family who has had a hold of the Consulship for years.

On his mother side, the De Silva.

His father’s name is Vladislav, but everyone calls him Vlad, he’s an alchemist, a polymath, and works in what is most similar to biochemical engineering. He has one bother, named Valeriy, who you, however, might now as Valerius. Vlad’s biggest personality trait is being head over heels in love with his wife, and adoring his son more than he thought it was humanly possible to care about someone.

His mother’s name is Louisa De Silva (if you want to add her mother’s surname, it’s Lascal). The L-o-u spelling was a registry mistake she never changed. She moved half across the world while her native country suffer a military-civilian dictatorship to study Medicine. She swore never to go back as long as vestiges of said dictatorship remained in the country. She has two sisters: Paris, who lives in Vesuvia, and Alma, who remained with her parents out of her own choosing. Her medical experience include having been a volunteer war doctor. She didn’t change her surname when she got married.

The Radošević (pronounced Radozheveech) and the Cassano have been entangled families by friendship for generations upon generations, with some marriages between them. Notoriously: Vlad and Val’s father married a Cassano, Matilda, and his bother Mircea, Anatole’s great uncle, also married a Cassano: Florentino. Mircea’s brother and Matilda Cassano died when Vlad and Val were children still, so him and Florentino brought them up.

The Radošević are an overall eccentric family (think the european Addams family), whom are noted for: one, their self-sufficiency/self-preservation, which comes out in a very ‘eccentric people of the world unite’ manner. They appreciate people with character. Two, their leanings towards trades/professions, they do not conceive not doing anything (work hard to play hard). The Cassano, while sharing the quirk, they add the zest for life. It’s like they grabbed the Radošević and told them “you have forgotten how to live and we will remind you how.” Both of them are ridden with racially ambiguous bastard you cannot kill in any way that matters. They simply refuse to. Someone (either the courtiers or Lucio) compared them to roaches, they took it as a compliment.

This will tell you a lot about Anatole’s character.

On a last note, Anatole’s an only child. He has a good relationship with his parents, albeit marked by a sense of distance, solely because he was privately tutored from age 15 and on, which required him to travel a fair share. He was an argumentative teenager, but always cherished whenever he could see his parents. The older he gets, the closer they all become.

Favourite Food: Cake

Favourite drink: Coffee, in general.

Favourite Flower: Iris

Birthday: Nov 1st

Age: 29 (I calculate his age as if he had been born in 1991)

Zodiac:

Sun: Scorpio

Moon: Virgo

Rising: Libra

Mercury & Mars: Scorpio

Venus: Virgo

Patron arcana: Strength & Ace of Swords

Strength

Upright: inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus, Reversed: self doubt, weakness, insecurity      

Ace of Swords

Upright: breakthrough, clarity, sharp mind, Reversed: confusion, brutality, chaos

MBTI Type: INTJ-A

Gender: Transmasculine, but Nonbinary. Uses He/Him pronouns only

Orientation: Identifies as NBLM.

LIs: Julian, Muriel, @ilyamatic​‘s Andrico, @thelazaretmakesmesad​‘s Vishal.

“The sun-like strategist with a solution for everything, and a whole lot of hope in the future.”

More details under the cut!

Physical appearance:

art by @lesbianarcana​

5′4. As you can see in the sprite down below, while he’s slim but with muscle, out of doing a moderate to high level of physical activity. The man has a nice waist and inherited his mother’s hips, which he’s very proud of. He likes his legs and his butt the most about himself

Dark brown eyes, long eyelashes. His hair is naturally black, but he dyes it blond.

Has a mole over his right eyebrow, on the left side of the bridge of his nose, and on his left jaw. He has freckles.

An horizontal scar on his nose, which he got by getting hit with a wooden scaffold square in the face. His nose wasn’t broken out of sheer dumb luck. He has a smaller cut on his cheekbone, which was done by a fencing sabre which lacked the proper tip protection/button. It was done onto him by someone else.

The nose scar is how he met Julian before the plague, as he was the doctor which cured his face.

He has several tattoos:

Right arm: A rapier on his inner forearm. Over his elbow he has a black work band, and over it the words ‘THE SUN IS MY UNDOING’ in all caps, circling his arm.

Left arm: a snake wrapped around his forearm, near to the wrist. The Odyssey quote ‘let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies’ under the inner crook of his elbow, and a floral half sleeve.

Chest and Torso: AMOR OMNIA VINCIT over where his heart is supposed to be. He has laurel leaves on the base of his waist.

Legs: ‘o serpent heart hid with a flowering face‘ in his upper, inner thigh, like really up his left inner thigh. A floral anklet on his right ankle.

Languages Spoken: Too many. He speaks nine languages.

Magic Specialities: His magic is connected to both light and languages (it is a play on words with ‘logos’) so he is both adept in photokinesis — he is able to create and manipulate sources of light — and language related magic — which includes incantation and language manipulation. He learns languages as a faster rate than most people, and while he cannot speak or literally understand a language unless he learns it, his magic allows him to intuitively grasp the meaning of words that are being spoken to him.

This capacity also makes him very good at recognising hidden intentions in people. This is not an ability that he broadcasts having, and when he later succeeds Valerius as the Consul, it is something which aids his diplomatic work but he keeps private.

His words tend to carry more weight sometimes because of his magic, something which he can’t always control — it depends on many factors — so he tries to choose his words carefully and with consideration.

His familiar is a Raccoon, named Antu.

Occupation: While he did study magic and is in touch with his magic, he studied politics, diplomacy and international relations. By trade, and out of will to help people, he is a political analyst and, later in life, a Statesman.

Personality/Trivia:

Willpower or Stubbornness? Depends how you look at it. Passionate, generally devoted, hopeful, independent and sometimes defiant. He is a people-oriented introvert. Competitive, but not aggressively so.

Smarter than he gives himself credit for. Overall charming, even debonair.

Curious by nature, hates having his decisions taken for him.

He is proper, sometimes even distinguished, but he is feral. A firm believer in being kind and compassionate with people, until you cross him one too many times, then nothing will make him taint his vindictive wrath.

Is he humble? For the most part. His humbleness comes from knowing his own limits and knowing he’s not infallible. He does have, however, a good deal of pride in himself and trust in what he can do, and he doesn’t like being underestimated.

He’s not particularly loud, though when the chatterbox is on, then it is on, specially if he’s nervous. He is often never still. 

He’s known he has ADHD since he was seventeen.

Likes dancing.

He fences, almost every Radošević fences/sword fights, and he will let you know at the slightest chance. Which can be either him simply being hyper-fixated in fencing, him flirting, or him letting you know that if the occasion rises, he’s armed.

Friend shaped, lover shaped if you’re daring enough.

He wrinkles his nose when he doesn’t like something.

Speaking of which: he doesn’t like abuse of power, the Court, injustice, supremacists of any kind, unkind, hurtful and selfish people in general; he doesn’t like red meat (he says it tastes like metal or dirt), narrow minded people, incompetence, specially when displayed by people in positions of power, and purposeful apathy.

A mastermind archetype, but he draws his power from connection. He does not conceive a life not lived with others.

A bit of a bastard, he enjoys a good laugh.

He plays the piano and the harp, he sings, he cannot draw, he’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol (which doesn’t really stop him), he likes the opera because he likes watching other people’s drama without being dragged into it, and his favourite season is winter. Also likes playing chess, reading, coffee, flowers, a well tailored outfit, learning, languages, the sea, mysteries, winter, a well laid argument, collecting quills, music, winning, knowing he loves and is loved in return.

When he was 7 he bribed his dad for more dessert, and he ate so much he vomited. His sweet tooth hasn’t gone anywhere, it is alive and well.

Perceptive little bastard, will knife cat you for the sake of it. He has a way more present sense of humour than what he comes across.

Would call himself a ‘trans masculine Mary Poppins’.

He is closest to his parents, his uncle, my other ocs Leonore, Medea and Sabine, his cousins Amparo Cassano and Milenko Radošević, Natiqa, Asra, Portia and Nadia.

If he liked women, he would be paired with Nadia. The possibility both terrifies and fascinates me.

@ilyamatic​, @viviae​, @gaybirdwrites​, @arcanaprentiss​ @apprenticeofcups​

[merytu-mrytw]

Ma’at and the meaning of ‘truth’

In my reflections on Ma'at, I've sorta hit something I want to like… talk out. One of the meanings of Ma’at is ‘truth’, which is often taken to mean ‘honesty’ when discussions of how to live in accordance with Ma’at come up. To speak the truth is to be honest, yes? But pure, undiluted honesty is a slippery virtue to live by. Lying is hard-wired into our biology. One of the signs of cognitive development in babies is their ability to lie- parents have reported their infant crying in a way that indicates they’re hungry or hurt, only to stop immediately after receiving attention. In fact, the ability to hold two conflicting concepts in our minds is a cornerstone of faith itself. If one cannot hold that the sun is a flaming ball of gas 152.01 million km away (or 92.96 million miles, for Americans) while also recognizing it as a manifestation of He Who Comes into Being of Himself, then you cannot practice faith in a way that allows you to interact with the physical world. This is not to say that we are incapable of honesty- quite the opposite, but one must recognize an amount of dishonesty is required for the world to run smoothly. For examples of this in action, think no further than the level of professional dishonesty required to work in a company, the dishonesty of emotion that the falsely-chipper cashier is required to display, in spite of however they may actually be feeling. Beyond these, as well, the issue with treating the virtue of ‘truth’ as ‘honesty’ is that it can lead to situations that get exacerbated or otherwise compromised by being ‘honest’. If I’m having a bad day, and I come home to find my partner has done something that I dislike, then me yelling at my partner is technically being ‘honest’. But, in that moment, I’m not being truthful. If I care about my partner, then my words ought to reflect that. Honesty is subjective, driven by emotion, and frequently only necessary when wrongdoing has occurred. It is technically honest to come clean about having an affair with someone, but in order to be honest about the wrongdoing, you must first commit the wrongdoing.

What I think is the issue, here, is… a mistranslation. I believe that ‘truth’ as a virtue of Ma’at is closer to ‘speaking to the truth’ as opposed to ‘speaking truth’ itself. If the Ancient Egyptians were solely dedicated to speaking the truth, we’d have no stories of theirs. Every storyteller is a liar. You make up events that never really happened- even the most shamefully honest drunken pub story requires some amount of omission, some level of lubrication in order to make it flow- it’s why the advice given to writers is ‘never let the truth get in the way of a good story’. However, it is possible for a story to speak to the truth of a situation. To lean briefly on my idea of Heka as a legal system, if I am beseeching Sekhmet for aid after being injured by someone, then I will naturally omit any previous slight or unkindness that I did to the other person. The truth of the matter, in this example, is that I have been injured, and require restitution for this act. In fact, in historic writings about Ma’at, honesty is not pushed as strongly as the idea of keeping one’s mouth shut, and speaking well when you are called to. The instructions of Vizier Ptahhotep (all proceeding paraphrases are taken from this translation) instruct a wise man to ‘not take up your heart against a passionate man, for he will not be swayed for you. You can belittle bad speaking by not clashing with him in his moment; it will mean he is called a fool, when your self-restraint has subdued his excess’. In a different passage, he advises when sat at the table of someone above your station, ‘do not speak to him until he has requested: you never know what may displease’, and again, instructs the reader to ‘not recall’ the past failures of someone, in the hopes that this person will be silent on your own failures when all things are equal. None of these are examples of honesty as we’d recognize it. They are, however, examples of restraint, which brings me to my next point. What Vizier Ptahhotep demands of the reader is the practice of ‘good speech’. From the above examples, this does not mean honest speech, nor does it mean frequent speech- it doesn’t even necessarily mean educated speech. Vizier Ptahhotep explains that ‘fine words are more sought after than greenstone, but can be found with the women at the grindstone’. The supposedly lowly are capable of good speech, and Ptahhotep expresses in that same passage that pride of knowledge does not lead to good speech, that one should discuss with the ignorant in the same way as the wise. So, what is good speech, and how does one achieve it?

Good speech is speech that is easily understood- the old adage of ‘if you can’t explain a concept to a 5-year-old, you don’t understand it’ comes into play here. If we are to speak to the ignorant in the same way as the wise, then we can’t give ourselves in to pretentiousness, we have to make sure that our words are concise, and easy for anyone to understand. If someone listening to our words can’t understand, we must be patient and explain ourselves, without giving into ego or lording our supposed intelligence over them. We also must be restrained in our emotion- which isn’t to say we have to be cold, we just can’t let our emotions overtake us when we speak. You can speak with anger, but you can’t let your anger speak for you. Clear communication requires and encourages the expression of boundaries, as well, which is integral to the formation of strong individual relationships, and strong communities. If you can clearly and calmly explain to someone why something is a problem for you, then asking them to respect those boundaries becomes easier, and irrational anger or hostility over setting those boundaries is much easier to identify and deal with as needed. Lastly, an amount of kindness and compassion is required in our speech. While the ancient Egyptians put a heavy emphasis on rank and status that we do not necessarily follow today, the passages of Ptahhotep speak frequently of being kind and not belittling those you’re above, not bragging or being cruel to those who have greater misfortunes than you. This can, and should, be extended to all people. 

Sometimes being kind means showing restraint and keeping your mouth shut, sometimes being kind is not the same as being ‘nice’ and requires an amount of honesty- but this doesn’t mean that you are brutally honest, it means you should explain what the person needs to hear as directed above- in a way that is clear and easy to understand, in a way that is not overwhelmed by emotion, and in a way that shows compassion for them, without being cruel. 

Obviously Ma’at has many more meanings and virtues to follow than just truth, but I felt the need to work through what the philosophy of Ma’at entails with regards to it.

[empaths-hsp]

7 ‘Rules’ for Highly Sensitive People to Protect Their Energy

Anyone is welcome in my world, but there are a few rules, because I’m choosing to no longer be manipulated or shamed for being sensitive.

I am a highly sensitive person, and if I’m being honest, it’s not easy being me. I am not like other people, and sometimes I don’t fit in. I have little patience for shallow conversation, arbitrary rules, loud, disorganized environments, hate, or purposeful unkindness. I can “feel” it when we connect, and I am very aware when we don’t. I am interested in conversations that get to the root of things. I am not interested in listening to what you think I want to hear.

However, I haven’t always been able to express these preferences. I grew up believing I was too sensitive. I formed thick barriers around myself to guard against emotion. Emotion, in my world, could and would be used against me.

Unfortunately, blocking out mad or sad feelings also blocks out happy ones. At that point in my life, I was not a happy person. Trying to fit in and make people like me was exhausting. I was not able to say no, simply because I wanted approval — and I ended up resenting the demands that I allowed others to make on me.

A Life-Changing Realization

Later in life, I learned that I’m a highly sensitive person — and this changed everything for me. To put it simply, everyone has a sensitive side, but roughly 1 in 5 people are more sensitive than others, or what researchers call highly sensitive people (HSPs). HSPs tend to process information very deeply, which can make them quite gifted — but it also means they “burn through” a lot of mental energy. Too much stimulation completely drains them.

(Wondering if that might be you? Here are the signs you are a highly sensitive person.)

Today, I’m working toward living a more authentic life, and that starts with self-care. Despite all the photos brightly splashed around Instagram, “self-care” was a new term for me. I’ve since learned that good self-care isn’t just a bubble bath — it’s also about setting the right boundaries. Anyone is welcome in my world, but there are a few rules. I’m choosing not to be manipulated, guilted, or shamed into doing things that don’t align with my vision for a healthy life.

You know the craziest part? I have way better relationships and a stronger sense of belonging now. So here are seven “rules” I follow that I hope will help you, too.

7 ‘Rules’ for Sensitive People

1. If you’re not nice, you cannot come here.

For HSPs, other human beings are the brightest thing on their mental radar, all on account of their brain wiring. So when someone makes passive-aggressive comments, I notice. I usually don’t acknowledge it, but you better believe I caught it. Likewise, when the conversation veers toward gossip, it can be so easy to get sucked into the negativity, and it always makes me feel awful just for having participated in any way. And, if you talk down to me or make me feel judged for not liking what you like, that’s not okay either.

Sure, I will be gracious to you if we come in contact, but you are not welcome in my home, nor will I attend one of your functions. The energy that emanates from negativity is like poison to HSPs, and it’s dangerous for our mood and outlook to absorb. So I avoid these people at all costs.

2. No takers.

Highly sensitive people are givers by nature. Empathetic and caring, we want to help whenever possible. But there will always be some people who abuse our generosity. These people are called takers, according to psychologist Adam Grant, and they focus only on getting as much as they can from others. Spending too much time with them actually makes me feel physically sick from the exhaustion.

You know the type. These are the ones who always want something, are always complaining, or are always playing the victim. Or the one who always has to one-up you: “Well, if you think that’s bad, you should hear about what happened to me.” These people will suck you dry of your mental and physical energy if you allow them to. If they could, they would have you taking their children to soccer practice and making them dinner while they’re at the spa!

3. Stop the glorification of busy.

We live in a culture that glorifies being busy. If you’re not constantly running around, getting things done, then you’re not productive, maybe even lazy. However, this is not the case, especially for highly sensitive people, who need more downtime than others to recharge. If you’re constantly run down, can’t commit to anything, don’t have time to help out a friend once in a while, or are continuously stressed and frazzled, it’s time to reevaluate. Ask yourself: Are you living life the way you want to, or do you feel as if you’re spinning like a top and barely hanging on for dear life? Do you do things you enjoy, even just occasionally?

I used to think I had to prove my worthiness with a rundown of all my appointments, soccer games, clubs, Society of Martyrs meetings, etc. Now, I am delightfully, unapologetically un-busy. I take time to drink a cup of tea and play with my kids. You want to meet for coffee? Sure, I got time. As a highly sensitive person, I love meaningful conversations over a hot beverage.

And yes, of course, I have a million things to do, but I have prioritized and eliminated the things from my to-do list that don’t fit with my vision for my life — or at least my vision for today. Some days are busy and it can’t be helped. I acknowledge that. I’m not saying you should quit your job and stop feeding your kids! Obviously, some things are mandatory.

But seriously, prioritize. Your worthiness is not attached to your productivity, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

4. ‘No’ is a complete answer.

You don’t need a reason to say “no.” People almost never ask why. If saying no right away feels too uncomfortable, buy yourself some time to answer. For example:

Pushy PTA lady: “Can you make three dozen cupcakes for the bake sale?”

You: “Wow, I’d love to help with the bake sale, but I should check my schedule first. I’ll get back to you.”

This gives you time to give it some thought. Maybe you do want to do it. But if you don’t, it gives you time to come up with an alternative solution, like purchasing cupcakes rather than baking them.

If someone will not take no for an answer, it might be time to sit down and discuss boundaries. I find this happens most often within families. If you fail to lay out boundaries, trust me, you will live in resentment. I know, because I’ve been there. Having an honest conversation can be hard, especially for us highly sensitive people since conflict can be overstimulating for us. But, in the long run, resentment can be much harder on a relationship than an honest conversation.

(If you have trouble saying no, here are some tips.)

5. It’s okay to feel “too much.”

Especially right now, this world can feel so sad, broken, and lonely, and nobody feels that deeper than a highly sensitive person. But as sensitive people, we may bottle up our true feelings because we don’t want others to think we’re “too much” — and this is dangerous. Obviously, there is a time and a place for everything. The important thing is to make space to process your feelings.

If you’re not sure how to do that, start with journaling, which can be especially helpful for HSPs during troubled times. Trust me, feelings that go unacknowledged don’t just disappear. They lay dormant and come out in ways that are almost always negative and destructive. Have you ever snapped at your spouse and thought, where in the world did that come from? Maybe it was because he forgot to bring home that loaf of bread — last week — and you were still holding onto anger. Journaling will help you process your emotions, everything from frustration with your spouse to anxiety about the world at large.

6. Read a little every day.

I know I’m not the only highly sensitive person who drinks in books. I need words like I need food. There were many years when I did not make the time to read. I thought it was selfish.

But reading is the kind of downtime that soothes and informs. It’s a win-win. There’s nothing better than the connectedness that happens when words written decades, or even centuries, ago speak to one’s heart and remind us that we are not alone.

Like what you’re reading? Get our newsletter just for HSPs. One email, every Friday. Subscribe here.

7. Not everything is about you.

Dear sensitive soul, you are different. You process things differently and more fully than others do. You are going to pick up on things that are not meant for you.

I wish someone had told me these words years ago. I used to take things very personally until I realized that the moods and attitudes of others rarely have anything to do with me. This was a lightbulb moment for me because I didn’t realize that most people don’t notice as much as I do. Now that I know, I can put things in perspective and let them go. She may not have answered my text because she’s busy, not because she’s angry at me, I tell myself.

Alternatively, others won’t always pick up on the signals that I put out. I used to think I was being obvious about my needs, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t stating them clearly. Learning how to speak up for my needs was a real turning point for me. And with that came the realization that people are not going to love me in the same way that I love them — in a way that only a highly sensitive person can — but that doesn’t mean their love is less.

HSP, it’s not selfish to care for yourself. It’s not selfish to schedule downtime. When you have rules that protect your energy, you are at your best for the people who need you. You will find yourself more willing and able to be generous without feeling resentful.

Find ways that work for you that get you closer to your vision of the life you want. If people and situations make you uncomfortable, there is a reason for that. Trust those instincts, because they will help you create the life you want.

You might like:

How Highly Sensitive People Can Stop Saying Yes When They Want to Say No

8 Tips for HSPs to Take ‘Little’ Things Less Personally

These 21 Things Stress Out Highly Sensitive People the Most

The post 7 ‘Rules’ for Highly Sensitive People to Protect Their Energy appeared first on Highly Sensitive Refuge.

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[purrincess-chat]

In your opinion, what are all the things that ML writers could do to fix the show and make it better?

Oh, Lord, how much time do you have?

I don’t even know how to begin gathering my thoughts for this, so if this ends up being a big incoherent brain dump then, uh, I’m sorry. XD

So, first and foremost I guess, they need to balance their main characters better. Why is all of the plot tied to Adrien? Why does Adrien have a more fleshed out backstory than Marinette? This is supposed to be a girl power show, and yet it revolves more around the boy’s life from the girl’s perspective basically. Marinette really doesn’t have a dog in that fight outside of the fact that she was asked. 

Marinette needs some kind of tie into the plot that doesn’t revolve around her love interest which is basically all they are willing to give her in this show. Everything about her has to relate back to the boy somehow, and if girl power is their message, then they are kind of defeating the purpose. Sure, they have episodes that are supposed to depict that the girl doesn’t need the boy, but then when you pile on top of that dozens of other instances where she gets pushed aside in favor of the boy, including words coming out of the creator’s own mouth (or off of his two thumbs onto a screen) then it doesn’t exactly hold the same weight. 

If your protagonist doesn’t have a tie into the plot, then why are they the protagonist? Take other shows, for instance: Avatar: the Last Airbender, Aang is the avatar and it’s his destiny to keep the balance in the world, She-ra, Adora was destined to become She-ra, it’s in her blood. But you have Marinette who is Ladybug because….the greater good? Some fairy sprite bug thing asked her to be? 

The villain isn’t personal for her, there is no mark of destiny that deems that she must be a hero, she’s just kind of there. Even her family barely gets fleshed out in comparison to Adrien’s. I mean, her parents are just blindly supportive of her meanwhile Adrien’s mom is in a magical coma, his father is cold, distant, and neglectful, which for some reason turns his assistant on and makes her want to sacrifice her fucking health even though Gabriel looks like a dried up soft pretzel. They canceled the special where we were supposed to learn about Marinette’s family, and I think that about sums up my point.

Secondly, I think they need to abandon the idea that Adrien is perfect because it’s not doing his character any favors. Thomas is so far up his ass about Adrien being a perfect example to boys that he has actually looped back around and made Adrien a poor example to boys. He gets away with all of his bad behavior because Thomas just covers his eyes if you call it bad behavior, he refuses to take no for an answer from the girl he likes, he thinks standing up for yourself is being unkind to the other person regardless of how unkind they are being to you, he conveniently turns a blind eye to the abuse of his friends, but god help you if you try to assert yourself against your aggressor because “you should just be nice to them and eventually they’ll change” like um, and maybe they won’t, in the mean time, I don’t want to put up with their bullshit! 

By insisting on this perfect image, they prevent Adrien from growing because you can’t improve perfect. I have said it before numerous times, but Adrien reeks of amateur fanfiction author’s self-insert OC. He’s described as being perfect, he’s good at a lot of activities just because, he’s wildly attractive, charming, smooth, can generally do no wrong, everything revolves around him, the narrative is constructed in a way that usually puts him above the everyone else. The fact that more people don’t realize that, especially the creator himself, is laughable. 

“But Cat, Chat Noir gets mind-controlled and thrown around and is goofy and-” Okay, but when Chat throws a tantrum about Ladybug not returning his feelings, who apologizes sincerely? Who is painted as being wrong in that situation? When Chloe puts a train full of people in danger just to play hero for a day, who does he scold? And of the two, who does the fandom adore more? Bonus: who do the Chibi specials revolve around and pity? 

Thirdly, they need to actually delve into shit more. It’s season 3, they’ve only been greenlit for 2 more seasons, and what plot do we have? Gabriel wants to bring his wife back from her magical coma, Master Fu messed up something in the past that led to two Miraculouses being lost as well as their temple to be destroyed where presumably everyone else but him died making him the last member of that magical society. That’s it. We don’t know how Emilie got to be the way she is. We have suspicions, but nothing explicit in canon yet. Same with Fu. We don’t know what his mistake was, only that he made one. We barely know any lore about the Miraculouses, the origins, how they were made, when they started working with humans, why they were created. 

If you want my honest opinion, with how slowly they’re dragging out this Agreste plot, they could have accomplished it in two seasons if they actually made every episode count and mean something. We get like maybe 1-2 minutes of actual plot relevant information once every few episodes, if that, and sometimes that “plot relevant information” is just the villain learning that there’s a guardian. Hang onto your asses, guys, they’re really laying it on thick for us. 

Seriously, they give us breadcrumbs of plot, and they don’t even go into any of the cool shit (like fucking Master Fu and his ancient magical fight club perhaps??) because obviously the villain’s assistant being in love with him despite the fact that he’s married, has a kid, and is doing all of this to resurrect his comatose wife whom he loves and devotes everything to is WAY more interesting and important than all that froufrou magical ass Chinese bullshit, right? Like, this show has all of this Chinese lore and a biracial lead, and they still somehow manage to make it all about white people. but ya know, the French are proud of themselves I guess

Fourth, chunk the status quoyo out the fucking window. I get that this decision may not have been the writing team’s, but in fact a higher up decision, but it’s still a stupid ass decision. For a show that is trying to introduce deeper plot, you cannot progress anything if you constantly have to set everything back to the way it was at the end of the episode, and that much is evident. The relationships are getting stale, characters aren’t developing, plot is moving at a snail’s pace, all because they are so bound by this idea that everything needs to be right in the end to maintain an episodic format. If they wanted to keep the series episodic, they shouldn’t have gone in for all of this lore and backstory that they say exists, but never tell us what it is because that just leaves a lot of people unsatisfied. 

Fifth, for the love of god learn how to write dynamic characters. Not everyone needs to be dynamic, but your main cast should probably be. Adrien, I love him to bits, but he is static as all fuck. Which, again, see point number 2. One of the biggest complaints floating around about Stormy Weather 2 is that the characters haven’t changed. With the exception of Marinette, none of the other characters have really learned anything. Adrien hasn’t, Nathalie doesn’t have enough focus to learn shit, Nino and Alya really haven’t, Chloe sure as hell hasn’t, and Gabriel can’t decide if he’s an abusive piece of shit or a sympathetic, heart broken sad man, so I barely count him. 

In fact, 3 of those characters’ “development” just revolves around being in love. Nathalie’s “change” is that she for some reason wants to fuck Gabriel (I guess the whole gray-ass pompadour, candy cane aesthetic really does it for her), and then Alya and Nino’s “change” is that they fuck love each other now which them being a couple has basically just become their entire character. They’re barely separate anymore, particularly in Nino’s case more than Alya’s. I’m sure that Chloe’s bit about having changed juxtaposed with flashbacks of her not being nice coupled with how she wasn’t nice in this episode was just for humor because they like to make the point that mean people will never change, but for some reason they still feel the need to teach the protagonist a lesson about being nice to mean people so that they can change, but they don’t do that, they just think that you should keep hoping. :) :) :)

I honestly think that the writers don’t know what “character development” means, and Stormy Weather 2 was just proof of that. All they did was show that the characters have been in a number of different situations, but none of them have really learned anything or grown from those situations, so it’s kind of a weak argument to say that they’ve changed when they’re all intrinsically the same. Except for Marinette because she is constantly the writing teams’ punching bag in all of these morals of the day cause can’t teach shit to perfect boy cause he’s perfect, but of course they don’t reflect on all of the lessons they forced her to learn, what are we, stupid? No, her only importance to the plot is the fact that she loves the boy that the plot really focuses on, so of course her only significant development of character is that she can talk to him sometimes without foaming at the mouth. Not a peep on how she has learned to overcome her jealousy and hotheaded nature, gained confidence in herself, and learned to maturely accept when someone doesn’t return her feelings, a lesson that a lot of us wish good old perfect boy would fucking learn, but he can’t because he’s perfect. :) :) :)

Another part of the problem with characterization in this show, is that often times characters behave in such a way to push the moral of the day rather than giving them established characters. It’s why Alya only questions Marinette’s sources in Chameleon while she just lets Lila claim a bunch of wild shit without batting an eye because she only cares about journalistic integrity when she can use it to beat down her friend so she can learn a lesson about turning the other cheek. :) :) :)

Sixth, pick up a fucking romance novel every once in a while cause hot damn is their relationship progression a heaping pile of hot garbage. Their love drama is so forced and there’s no real development because of the #status quoyo because they must drag this shit on until we’ve all basically lost interest. I’ve seen more people dropping off the love square in the last half season than I’ve ever seen in any other show. Part of that has to do with Adrien becoming a real “nice guy™” but a good chunk of it also has to do with the fact that they don’t really know how to write love drama or romantic tension in a way that makes you care. We all pretty much know that Adrien is never going to figure it out, even if someone grabs him by the shoulders and screams it in his face that Marinette is in love with him, so why should we care? We know that Chat Noir is never going to stop loving Ladybug, but Ladybug is never going to stop loving Adrien so why should we care? We know the show is never going to break the square because they’re endgame so why should we care about the love rivals? 

Seriously, Captain Hardrock didn’t give me a reason to care about Luka or ship him with Marinette. I still stand by my opinion that their chemistry was incredibly forced and inorganic, and it still is, and as much as I love Kagami, I wasn’t convinced that she was interested in Adrien at the end of Riposte either. The only reason we know Luka likes Marinette is because Winny said he “fell in love with her at first sight” on Twitter (which the whole love at first sight trope is bullshit, but that’s a post for another day). Somehow in Frozer Kagami was randomly into Adrien all of a sudden, and no one likes to bat an eye about the fact that she told him to change targets because the girl he likes doesn’t like him back and then at the end of the episode when Adrien admits that he still likes the other girl over Kagami, Kagami is all “well, it’s fine. I’ll wait.” like bitch, again on characterization. A strong and confident character like her would know her worth and would show that boy the door. But of course she would contradict herself because they need her for #love drama later even though we all know it doesn’t matter. 

I love the love square, and I live for soft moments between them, but I’m ready for them to turn up the heat and give me some actual drama and tension that doesn’t revolve around Chat being a pouty pissbaby or Marinette fucking up another love confession. Cause when you do that too many times, it stops being interesting. You have to throw us a bone somewhere or else we’re gonna stop caring, and lots of people already have.

Seventh, can we please stop pitting all of the girls against each other while the boys just get to be cool with each other? For a show that promotes itself as being a “girl power” show, there are a metric fuckton of misogynistic undertones to this show. See: why does the plot revolve around the boy even though the girl is the slated protagonist. See: why does the girl learn all the lessons while the boy gets to be right all the time. See: why two teenage girls are “the worst things I can think of” while an actual neglectful father gets to be sympathetic and “do anything for his family” uwu

Seriously, I think making Kagami and Marinette rivals while Luka and Adrien are just chill dudebros is so tired. Girls fighting over boys is tired, especially because we have it not once, not twice, but three fucking times in this show. Chloe and Marinette don’t often fight over Adrien, but in Despair Bear Chloe sure as hell didn’t want them dancing together. Marinette initially follows Lila because she’s hanging off of Adrien, and even at the end of Chameleon, Lila makes it known that she is still gonna try to steal Adrien. Kagami basically tells Marinette that she better stop hesitating or she is gonna steal Adrien away, and we have Backwarder where Marinette is basically plotting to cockblock them even though we had Frozer where she decided she wasn’t going to be jealous of them because Adrien liked her. Again, see: characters behaving in a way that is convenient for the plot of the episode. All of the drama is between girls. All of the women in this show are described as being terrible, the worst things they could think of, never going to stop being mean. Seriously. Chloe and Lila? Worst things Thomas can think of. Audrey is constantly shown intimidating her husband who is extremely corrupt himself, not that anyone bats an eye at that. Nathalie/Mayura was described by Jeremy as “making Hawkmoth look like a baby.” Any time they show a man being problematic, they have to bring in a female to be ten times worse, and the worst part is: they don’t even know they’re doing it. #girl power, am I right?

Eighth, speaking of making people bad, can we stop half-assing redemptions? Honestly, they’re so back and forth on whether or not they’re going to redeem Chloe. First it’s “mean people will never get a miraculous” then dingdong, who’s that? Queen Bee, motherfuckers. Then it’s talk about how they’re not going to redeem Chloe then bam bitch, “why don’t you love me?” But even after that they reset the status quoyo and have her go back to being mean. Even after they give her a second chance to be a hero and do good, she still goes right back to being her nasty self. I think they really highlighted in Stormy Weather 2 how much they haven’t changed her at all, and yet somehow she still gets to play the hero. 

Additionally, now we have them trying to make Gabriel sympathetic? Boo fucking hoo my wife is in a coma so I terrorize the fucking city on a daily basis, pity me! Also I neglect my son, verbally abuse him from time to time, and I don’t even let him see his friends or feel any happiness, and even though my superpower revolves around feeling people’s negative emotions, I never seem to care about my own son’s unhappiness, but hey, I’m doing it for his mommy, so that makes me better than the 14 year old girl. :D

Shit or get off the pot, Zag. Either you’re going to redeem these characters, or you’re going to leave them the way they are. Make up your damn mind.

Ninth, be diverse in more than name only. For a show that prides itself on its biracial female lead and its ties to Chinese culture, uhh, they spend a lot of time focusing on not those things. I said it before, but they focus all of their plot attention on rich ass white people drama more than the vastly more interesting Chinese lore they have going on. Their black characters were paired together just cause, and their only real important quality now is that they love each other. Their ship is basically their character now, and we barely have a reason to root for them outside of the fact that they’re canon. They have such shallow relationship development that my feet wouldn’t get wet if I stood in a puddle of it. Can we have more on them, please? 

This show is diverse only on the surface. They use diversity as decoration then fill everything else with less interesting shit, and even then they get a lot of shit wrong. It drives one of my Asian friends nuts that Sabine’s neckline is facing the wrong direction. (for those unaware of what I mean, it should look like a y. hers is backwards) They use diversity to pat themselves on the back and say they are diverse, but they have no intention of doing anything meaningful with it. It’s just a gold sticker they wanted to give themselves to draw in an eastern market. It’s cheap, and several of us see through that shit. 

And last, but certainly not least: Shut the absolute fuck up on Twitter. Just shut the fuck up. Every time Thomas opens his mouth, he just pisses off more people or makes everything more convoluted. Shut the fuck up. Please. 

Now, I know a host of you are going to be like “buhhh, it’s a kid’s show, go outside, hur dur, I’m so smart and mature,” but like, honestly that’s a weak argument. Yes, Thomas’s audience is young now and they may not be able to see all of this shit, but when they get older and decide to go back and watch one of their favorite childhood cartoons, all of that shit is gonna come out. They’re not gonna be so naive forever, especially if our generation is raising them, and just because they can’t see all of this shit now, doesn’t mean that it’s not still there just because they don’t notice? That doesn’t make it any less problematic. One thing I love about several shows I used to watch as a kid is that they aged well. When I go back and watch them now as an adult, I find things that I missed as a kid that I appreciate now as an adult. I can’t say that the same is going to happen with Miraculous, especially in this day and age. 

Additionally, kids learn a lot through media. I never believed that I was any less than the boys growing up because I consumed a lot of media that taught me that, and going back and watching it over now, I still get that from those shows. Clearly, if you apply two ounces of logic to this show, it falls apart, and that’s not because it’s a kid’s show, it’s because it’s bad writing. I can always see what they are going for, but they always miss just a little bit. sometimes a lot

A lot of us complain because we are concerned with the message being spread to the next generation because those kids are going to grow up one day and be influenced by what they are consuming now. If we teach our girls that the perfect boy is going to chase after us no matter what we say to them and if we teach our boys that in order to be the perfect boy we have to continually chase after the girl until she says yes, how are those kids going to approach relationships? That mentality is actually something that we are trying to combat in the world. That mentality is why rape is so prevalent because we teach boys that they are entitled to a woman’s affection if they’re “nice” to them, and if she doesn’t give it to them, then she is wrong. 

Media has an impact on kids, whether we like to admit it or not. Yes, parents can still teach them, but sometimes things get into your subconscious and it can determine how you see yourself and the world. Lots of kids engage in make-believe play where they put themselves in that character’s shoes and play pretend. I just think it’s important to give them the right things to look up to. 

[justlikeeddie]

black sails fic recs

I have got and continue to get so much enjoyment out of Black Sails and its fandom! It's so nice that this anniversary week of posts has made me realise it is two years since my dash was abruptly filled with people having full breakdowns over the S4 finale, and I was like, “man, I don’t know why this field of corn or whatever is so important, but I guess I should watch this show and find out”. And I did. AND IT WAS.

I don’t know how to make gifsets bcos I am an idiot, but luckily for this fan content Friday thing I CAN post a non-exhaustive list of fics in this fandom that I am absolutely obsessed with. You’re welcome!!!

Unaccommodated Man, The Peaceable Kingdom, and Congress by kvikindi / @septembriseur

James/Thomas, post-series

James looks at him, searching, and Thomas fears he will recognise that Thomas is not really Thomas, not quite Thomas, not the Thomas he had been, and so he says, “I have gone a little mad in this world without you, but now that you are here—” And James makes a sound, a sobbing, laughing sound, and crushes Thomas to him once more.

Like...obvs. This is one of the best series of stories I have read in any fandom, or, actually, that I have read in any context. Both on a macro level - with unbelievable fluency, this series encompasses trauma, recovery, intimacy, forgiveness, literature, the conception of madness, agriculture, 18th-century Native American tribal language, etc, etc - and a micro level, in which not a single word is wasted, and not a single sentence is unworthy of being read three or four times. Anyway. I have re-read all of these stories multiple times and Congress more times than I would admit to if I actually knew.

consider them both, the sea and the land by youremyqueen / @deathnoting

Flint/Silver, post-S3

Flint frowns, stiff and unbending, and leans down just a tad so that he is looking John directly in his eyes. If he’s uncomfortable with their proximity, he doesn’t let it show.

“Remember when you told me,” he grits slowly, each word weighted with emphasis, “that you had discovered the pleasure of being both loved and feared? Is that what you would like from me? It is not enough that you have earned my respect, my friendship. You would now like for me to be frightened of you as well?” His nostrils flare, his rage is quiet. “I am not one of your men.”

John can feel the words on his face and he bears them without flinching, says only, “And I am not one of yours.”

Flint’s brow twitches, and he moves a hair closer, disgustingly close, warm and sour with the smell of whiskey, a solid and immovable blockade between John and what he wants. And he says to him, of all the unbearable things, “Isn’t that exactly what you are?”

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIC THAT CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT FLINT/SILVER. For like three whole series I just didn’t Get It. And then I read this and was like.....oh.....I Get It. It’s a weapon. Their attraction to each other is a weapon. And sometimes they like using it and sometimes they don’t. And I have never, my friends, looked back

and into what it will be changed by @sea-changed

James/Thomas/Miranda, pre-series

"The Hartfords left for the country last week," Miranda says; "they've merely invited us to view the painting. They cannot resist showing off, even in absentia." She and Thomas share a look, smirking at each other as if sharing an old joke. Then she looks back at James, and her mouth quirks up at him. "So you needn't worry about their judgement."

James considers protesting that that wasn't, exactly, what he was worried about, though upon second thought he wonders if it truly wasn't. "That's very kind," he says, hesitating.

"Is it?" Miranda asks, almost absently. "We do not invite you along as a kindness, Lieutenant; I believe I speak for both Thomas and I when I say we rather enjoy your company."

James feels his face heat, not unpleasantly, and he looks down at the carpet. Miranda is usually soft and kind, but occasionally she does this, speaks plain and pointed. She and Thomas both do this, push and keep pushing: Thomas seems to do so with curiosity, prodding until he finds something interesting, but Miranda does it as if she had already found the spot she wishes to target, and goes after it relentlessly. James thinks suddenly, and unexpectedly, that she would not make a bad Naval commander.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIC THAT CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT JAMES/THOMAS/MIRANDA. I used to be weirdly militant in the belief that James’s affairs with the Hamiltons only made sense if they were two separate affairs that didn’t even really overlap. And then I read this and was like....right okay....if they DID have a threesome it would have been like this

There’s Plenty of Men to Die by @autoeuphoric

Flint/Silver, post-S3

The five of them share a glance, passing it around the table, man to man. Flint’s mouth twitches and Madi laughs shortly. “I would wager every man here fancies themselves in charge. This is a meeting of chieftains. I say let it remain so.”

“Although…” Silver says slowly, pulling the others’ attention on to him. Flint’s eyes flick his way, and to his horror he realizes he has nothing else to say. No point, no segue, no plan for a redirection of the conversation. He had simply wanted Flint to look at him. A fierce longing for the days when it was just the two of them fills him, laying their plans together, even though the threat of sudden and nonnegotiable execution was much higher. But he knew where he stood. Here, there are complications. Confusions.

This is just a tiny little snatch of a scene but every beat of it is perfect! Silver navigating his obsession with Flint, in the midst of everybody navigating their new relationships with each other in the new fragile and tentative anti-colonial alliance.

a question of needs (and not rosary beads) by @seventymilestobabylon

James/Thomas, pre-series

Still: James wants to talk. If Thomas means this to be—what it is, what it clearly is, then he should have the fucking decency to say something about it. He also, and intensely, wants the whole business to be transacted without any conversation, but he knows better than to hope for that. Thomas is not capable of it, that implicit understanding. Even when he kissed James—

Thomas’s thumb very light at the hinge of his jaw. He felt a thrill like fear, when it happened.

Even then, Thomas said, “All right?” when it was over, and would have said more, except that James nodded mutely, minutely, and stammered something incoherent that required his presence elsewhere. Thomas and Miranda both looked hideously understanding about it, and James considered—as he walked home through ill-lit streets and inhaled familiar smells of smoke and fish and tar and shit—simply climbing aboard one of the ships in harbor and never returning to London.

This is one of the few pre-series fics I’ve read that really digs into James and Thomas’s incompatibilities and differences and misunderstandings - and sets them against how badly they want each other, and want to understand each other, nonetheless. Don’t get me wrong, obviously 1705 is The Only Time James McGraw Was Ever Allowed To Be Happy (tm), and I’m extremely into reading about him and Thomas making each other happy! But also - it’s so interesting to explore James being so frightened of how he feels about Thomas that he can be unkind to him, and Thomas being so immersed in how he feels about James that he can be complacent and sometimes a little thoughtless about it. And this pulls all of those things apart so well.

you and i survived by youremyqueen / @deathnoting

Anne/Jack, Vane/Jack, pre-series

“She’s not mine. That isn’t—we aren’t—I mean to say, do you actually understand what love is, Captain?”

“Love is possession,” Vane tells him, with his usual unselfconscious melodrama. “Not only of women by men, but of men by women. The point of owning a woman is to see to it that she doesn’t own you.” He speaks as if he’s explaining some very basic and widely known conceit.

Jack winces. “What a viciously horrible perception.”

Vane rolls his eyes. “Christ’s sake. Don’t you ever get tired of acting like a fucking woman?”

“Don’t you ever get tired of acting like a fucking man?”

And couldn’t they unpack that remark for days?

The extremely funny author’s note “if someone had told me two months ago that i would write a fic that featured charles ‘only straight person in nassau’ vane as a main character, i would not have believed them” is also a summary of how I feel about this fic. WHO KNEW that on top of every other fucking thing I have to care about in this fandom, I also care a LOT about Jack and Anne and Charles fuckin Vane! A principled, terrifying, Aslan-transfigured-into-a-human nightmare of a man! This fic is so excellent and does such justice to all of them. Their triumvirate gets kind of supplanted by the Max-Anne-Jack situation from S2 onwards, and I always forget how nuanced and odd and interesting this three-way dynamic is when we first meet them. This story does such a good job at trying to explain what the fuck that dynamic is.

Katabasis by unheroics

James/Thomas, pre-series, canon-divergent AU

There were Flint’s men, one leaving the cabin, another ransacking a chest for treasures, another still turning to speak to Randall; the words exchanged escaped Flint, as all else did, once his gaze fell to the Englishman.

He knelt barefoot on the deck, and wore the undyed, colourless linen of prison or asylum garments. For a precarious second Flint could only think that his hands had had nary a mark upon them, five years ago, and now were as scarred as those of a gamekeeper or veneur. He looked nothing like the man whose presence haunted Flint’s dreams, always at the corner of the vision, always cold to the touch and bleeding from the eyes and mouth.

In all his careful planning, and all his mirthless revenge, Flint had never thought to anticipate a variable in place of a set value. The presence of other men about was like an anchor at his feet, dragging him underwater, but it was Alfred Hamilton’s blood on his hands that kept him immobile.

“Will you kill me?” said Thomas Hamilton, in a voice harsh from paregoric. His tone had a note of morbid, queer hope. “I could pay.”

To spare you, or kill you? It was excruciating to wonder.

One of the very first James/Thomas fics I read! And certainly one of the first fics I read that started to probe and pull apart the McGraw-Flint dichotomy, by literally dropping Thomas right in the middle of it. And while the actual end of S4 is, obviously, the greatest and most narratively and emotionally satisfying thing that has ever happened on television, and you can quote me on that - one thing we do never get in canon is Thomas in Nassau, and I love getting to read that here.

[dreamy--dolly]

and i’m home

angsty gareval fic incoming

(again, i should clarify: ive played around w/ the ages so that gareth is only two years older than percival - percival’s about twenty in this fic, gareth about twenty two.)

Percival does not know who he expects to come to his side after the funeral.

He is not sure if he expects anyone at all. That isn’t Galahad that lies in the casket - eyes closed and skin too pale and dressed in black. Black does not suit him, it is too dark and dull. This is not the world he is supposed to live in, this is not the way Galahad is supposed to die - not only twenty years old to buried in the catacombs. He should be growing old and gray, dying after years of changing the world a little bit at a time.

It is hot and sunny when Percival steps outside. He does not want to see Lancelot’s face - he does not want to see a father mourn for a son that he may as well not even have. Lancelot was never Galahad’s father. He never acted like a father should, at least. But the world is a grotesque place, and people act and things happen the way they ought not to. Percival learned that, and wishes he didn’t.

It is Gareth who approaches him afterwards, who sits next to him outside. Gareth is the one to reach out and squeeze Percival’s hand - just two years older than him, twenty-two. He does not know Gareth very well, save for the fact that he is supposedly the kindest of the four brothers from far far away in Orkney.

“Left early?” Gareth says. He speaks in code, but Percival does not quite know how to respond.

Percival nods. “It was hot and stuffy in there.” He knows what he really means, though - the words translate to the fact that he could not bear to look at the face of a false father or the face of someone who was the only person who believed the world to be what Percival thought it was. 

He is not sure if Gareth understands the code he speaks in. He does not know what sort of world Gareth sees. He does not know if it is the same world he sees. But he at least has one person to help him stand again so he does not drown.

He has to tell himself that Gareth is not a second Galahad for him. Gareth’s hair is red like fire, while Galahad’s was blonde like gold. The way they are is different, too - Gareth’s more closed-off. He is not unkind, but he speaks as if his kindness is a conscious choice and not a product of wistful believing that the world is not the harsh place it is. But he is someone that will not force Percival back down to Earth with gravity, and that is something Percival likes about him.

He is not sharp-edged like his younger brother Mordred is, all steel eyes and cold words towards Percival - Mordred does not say a word, yet somehow Percival thinks that the words “It’s all your fault” are always on the tip of his tongue. As much as Percival wishes to not believe it, Mordred is right. It really is all his fault. Were it not for him, Galahad might not be far away in the catacombs.

Percival tries to pick up the broken pieces and carry on, but it is hard. Gareth helps him, yet the shards of what he once believed in still cut his hands. He is still known as Percival, the most gentle of Camelot’s knights, but it is not the same.

“You need to hold still.” Gareth frowns at him. They have returned from patrol tonight like they have on other knights, and have defeated the beast they sought but not without gaining fresh wounds in the process. Percival tells himself he should be used to the feel of pain by now, yet the cuts on his back and arms still sting.

“Sorry,” Percival says. Gareth takes a deep breath before he continues cleaning the blood away, and Percival flinches again, letting out a yelp.

“Damn!” he curses. “Can you just hold still for a moment?!”

And then Percival sees Mordred - Mordred silently asking him why he could not have changed a thing, even though he’s thought that there would be a way past that - and suddenly he would prefer the pain of fresh wounds he can’t completely tolerate to something like this. 

Percival does not know what Gareth sees, but whatever it is he sees makes his eyes widen. When he raises his hand Percival backs away and wishes that he had not.

“...Sorry,” Gareth says. “Shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Percival shrugs. “‘S fine. I should’ve stayed still and not gotten upset.”

Gareth shakes his head. He picks at the thin string of his eyepatch.

“There’s nothing wrong in crying, you know. If something’s hurting, I don’t see the need to keep quiet about it.” He gives Percival a smile, something shining and soft against all the rough edges and harsh outlines. Percival smiles back at Gareth, and can only think about how they both know it’s not true.

There is still rust that tarnishes the metal, but it can still work even if the beauty it once held is gone.

It is Gareth who pulls him away and moves in for the kill. He’s crying and laughing all at once - Galahad, Mordred, disappointment, failure, hate, love, no more, no more, pain, pain - the words all flash and clatter around in his head and his heartbeat and sobbing and laughter all rattle in his eardrums. Percival is trapped in a bloody tandem of hacking, slashing and crying and laughing - he cries for what he cannot get back and laughs because the pain of it all is something that he can just push away if he tries hard enough. The sword feels too big in his hands and he thinks that maybe he’ll be torn to pieces by the beast, and since he cannot feel the pain right now he does not care.

And then Gareth pushes him out of the way and moves in for the kill, his sword slicing through the beast’s flesh in a single, nauseating stroke that leaves it torn in two.

Kay reaches out to touch Percival’s blood-coated shoulders, ready to haul him back. “Percy-”

“Please,” he begs now that he does not have the hunt to take it all away, “Don’t touch me.”

Kay opens his mouth to respond but Gareth is the one who speaks up. His armor and sword are splattered red in the feeble torchlight.

“I’ll bring him back,” he says. Gareth lifts Percival off the ground and into his arms. “He’s exhausted and wounded - he needs to heal.”

Percival rests his head against Gareth’s chest as he is carried back, letting the quiet and constant beating of his heart occupy the silence that was once a chaotic symphony of things he shouldn’t have had to hear. There are stars out tonight, faint and glimmering in the near black sky. He’s got scratches and cuts all over him and if it weren’t for that one question he has on his mind he might just close his eyes and fall asleep here and now.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

No response, and Percival wonders if Gareth didn’t hear him.

“I try to show kindness to everyone,” he says. “Besides, you’re kind and you deserve kindness in return.”

“I don’t,” Percival says.

“Why not?”

Because I’m weak, he thinks, And I keep dwelling on the past long after I should stop thinking about it and just let it fade to memory. Because I’m stupid for thinking the fairy tales I grew up on were something real, something tangible. Because your brother hates me for not being good enough and he’s right.

But all of that can’t possibly be the right answer. He fumbles for a moment. “Because-”

“Well you’re wrong. Because you do deserve kindness. And I’ve already said why.”

Percival doesn’t know what to say. So he lets his eyelids droop and he dreams of struggling against the current of a river, struggling to stay afloat.

Gareth hands him a pear: Pockmarked, yellow-green, sinking a little when Percival presses his fingers too deep against it.

“Thought you might be hungry.”

Gareth always eats his food, Percival notices, as if he’ll never eat again. Crunching past the thin skin of the pear and tearing through the soft white flesh of the fruit underneath. It’s almost animalistic, and he has seen the look in Gareth’s eyes and the way his fist clenches when someone at the dining hall tosses their saliva-covered food to the ground.

He takes a bite and even though the fruit is bruised it is soft and sweet.

“Thank you.”

They eat in silence for a few moments. Summer is coming to an end; red and brown replace the green of the scenery, and the humidity dries away.

“You seem happy,” Gareth tells him. “I’m glad.”

“What makes you think I haven’t been happy?”

He and Gareth both know - because he’s still chasing after a dream that’s long been proven to only be a dream, because he still sees a glint of gold amidst the red that he shouldn’t see after all this time.

“I don’t know. But you seem so… relaxed now, so at ease. I’m glad.”

Then he leans over to press a sticky, pear-flavored kiss to Percival’s forehead. Warmth engulfs him in the coming chill of autumn.

“Hope that you really are happy.”

And for a little while after that, they are stolen kisses and wet leaves crunching under boots in autumn. There is something that they have and while it isn’t the dream Percival clung to for so many years, there is at least something tangible that he can hold onto in the waking world. Water may fill their lungs and they may drown in the river, but they’ll go down together. The hole in Percival’s heart is still there, seams jagged and unable to mend, but they are trying. At least they’re trying to mend what cannot be.

“D’you think Mordred hates me?”

They lie together at the crackling fire. They forgot the blankets, so Gareth spreads his cloak over the both of them, and if they can’t fall asleep they can at least gaze up at the bits and pieces of the night sky they can see through the maze of trees.

“I don’t think so. He’s sort of withdrawn, but I wouldn’t say he hates you.”

“Withdrawn” isn’t the word Percival would use to describe what he’d heard from Mordred’s mouth. Withdrawn does not capture the mutters of “It’s all your fault” and “You’re so weak” and “You are nothing” that sometimes he hears and sometimes he can almost hear. Withdrawn does not describe the icy cold Percival feels wash over him with Mordred.

“You’re certain? Because sometimes he’ll… talk to me and it seems like he does. He says things that I think are meant to hurt me, but I can’t say for sure. The thing is though, I still want to give him a chance, and I don’t want to hate him. But he still keeps saying those things.”

Gareth sits up. The warmth of the cloak is leached from Percival’s body.

“He doesn’t talk much about you. I didn’t know he says these sorts of things to you, and-”

“Really, it’s not something to worry about, not something you should-”

Gareth sighs and lies back down. “He’s far away from here, so you’re right. But when we get back I’m going to have to talk to him. I don’t understand why he hates you so much, or at least why he acts like does from what you said. It’s unfair. It’s no one’s fault, I thought things were at least stable for now. And yet he’s my brother - my little brother wouldn’t say or do those things. He’s just quiet and would rather not say a thing at all.”

He curls an arm around Percival, shifting under his cloak. “For now, though… I don’t know who to believe.”

Again, Percival cannot tell what is a dream and what is real. He can’t tell if it’s real or not when he finally returns all the kisses Gareth’s given him before, lifting his hair out of his face to press his lips to his forehead. Gareth never touches Percival’s lips - they both know why - but this is enough.

“Enough. We’re tired. Rest.”

He falls asleep tangled in Gareth’s arms that night. Or maybe he’s awake. Again, he does not know.

Gareth throws the letter into the fire when Percival sees him. They both watch the flames swallow up the crumpled paper, and it sinks into the ashes.

“I can’t do it,” Gareth declares. His voice is quiet and cracking. “I can’t betray the man who knighted me - the man who trained me-”

“Lancelot?”

“Him and the queen - Mordred and Agravaine told me - they want me to tell the king - I can’t, I can’t-”

He pulls Percival close and embraces him as if he will slip away under dark waters if he lets go. Percival knows the cold glares of Lancelot and how he’s drowning in his presence, knows a father that really isn’t a father. He thought that it was all Lancelot’s fault that his own son died, because he treated him as if he was never a son to him but a burden that weighed too heavy on his back. He still thinks that, but it is less knowledge and more thought. For if Gareth goes through and gives out the whole truth then Lancelot will be killed and the queen burned to ashes at the stake - even with what Percival knows of Lancelot, he does not want him dead.

“What are you going to do?” He says. There are tears wet on his shirt - Gareth’s tears. He’s never seen Gareth cry before now.

Gareth pulls away. His nose is red and his one eye blinks, watery and dull. “I won’t tell. I’m going to warn Lancelot - he ought to know. I don’t want him dead. I can’t bring myself to be the one with blood on my hands.”

Then he takes Percival back into his arms. “I don’t want to lose you, either. Let’s just run away - there’s no Grail to worry about, we can just leave and never come back, can’t we?”

They have nowhere to go. Percival’s dreams have taken hold of Gareth, again making them drift farther and farther away from what is real and plausible in the river’s current.

“We can’t. You can just warn Lancelot. We’ll stay here. We’ll deal with Mordred.”

He closes his eyes. He does not know how they will pick up the broken pieces and try to fix them - Lord knows if they even can - but there’s a tiny, flickering flame that won’t be snuffed out that says they can. They can fix this without any blood being shed.

Gareth kisses him, and it’s on the lips this time. He’s taller and rougher than Galahad, but he isn’t the thorns that make him bleed like Mordred does. He’s the leaves of the flower, not quite the soft petals but not as prone to tearing or bruising. Then he pulls away.

“Sorry, but I was worried I wouldn’t get to… kiss you like that.”

Percival leans up. Even though Gareth has pulled away, the feel of his lips still buzz on his. He ruffles Gareth’s faded red hair.

“It’s okay. Really, it is. I liked it.”

And then they are drowning again, and they wonder if there’s really a way to fight the river’s current before the end of it all.

They say nothing about the kiss, but they speak one last time.

Even though Percival’s legs struggle to support his body and the blood stains his cothes, he still drags Gareth away from it all as much as he can. He feels the blood dripping down his mouth, feels the ragged cut underneath his shirt that’s Mordred’s reminder of what he deserves. He remembers Mordred pulling out his sword amidst the chaos, and while he said nothing this time he knows. He knows that Gareth saying he could not bring himself to speak out of the person who’d trained him for all those years is what led Mordred to this, for how could his own brother pick the one responsible for it all over him?

They’re drowning and it isn’t a dream. It’s real. But they’ll be pulled into the watery depths together, at least.

He collapses at last and knows he will not get up. At least he stares up at the rising of the sun in its glory of reds and oranges and yellows cooling into blue. At least he will not die and fall into the dizzying abyss of stars.

“Are… are you alright?” Gareth’s voice is creaky at his side.

This is how it ends. He covers the blood soaking through his armor and reaches over to pat Gareth’s bloodied hand. Then he grabs hold of it, for it will be the last thing he feels.

“I’m alright. We won. It’s going to be alright.”

Gareth smiles at him, teeth coated with blood.

“I’m so glad… Wake me up when we get back, okay?”

They’re both lying to each other. But this is like the old days of playing pretend when they didn’t know. So Percival pretends that it is the truth, that they will wake up this time even though the darkness clouds his vision and the dull pain in his stomach is pulling him down.

“I’ll wake you up. I promise.”

And then he pulls Gareth into the waters with them. They’re sucked into a dream one last time. He plays pretend with someone else. 

Things aren’t going to change now that in death they’ve left it all behind.

[ganymedesclock]

Hey in s1e1 Allura compares each of the pilots to the lions. I don't really remeber what they were something like Hunks caring personality, Pidge's inquisitive nature etc but Allura was cut off before revealing Lance and Blue's (by Lance lol) and I've always wondered what theirs was. Maybe u have a good idea cause ur really good and putting 2 and 2 together and finding X. Hope this makes sense.

Official interviews with the writers have stated Blue’s nature is compassion! She’s a nurturing presence described as the “mother hen” of the Lions. This makes a lot of sense because you can see Lance doing this a lot- like in s3e6, when he takes up a sniper nest, he checks on his teammates and watches them to see if and how they need help. Also in s3e3 Lance is the most aggressive and outspoken about how the team needs to stick together and helping them reunite.

This also is reflected a lot in how Blue relates to Allura in s3e3- she doesn’t respond to being ordered or commanded by Allura but instead responds very powerfully to Allura expressing vulnerability and asking for help- and basically the lesson she imparts to Allura is it’s okay to not control everything, other people are here to help you.

Throughout the show, Blue and Lance have repeated themes to their arc and interactions. There’s a sense of trusting situations- Lance often unlocks powers or discovers properties by just going into situations and sorta trusting it’ll work out and being mostly vindicated. The first thing Blue does is run wild and hurtle around at terrifying speeds and Lance noticeably isn’t scared that the Lion is out of his control, just caught off-guard at first. Anybody else in his situation would panic- think about how Shiro reacted when Black was moving without him in s2e7.

Allura begins her speech with “As you have found, the Lions choose their pilots” confirming that Blue had already selected Lance as her chosen paladin.

She continues, “The quintessence of the pilot is mirrored in his Lion.”

So simply enough, we can tell something about the Lions by the paladins they first approached- the Lions seek people who are mirrors of themselves. 

Ergo, Blue was drawn to Lance by being able to see his empathy and compassion as a person- the same kind of spirit that drew him to defend Pidge. He has that sort of empathetic, emotionally wise and supportive nature- as well as a certain openness to things working out. I think it’s significant that Lance got his Lion first- because Lance is the sort of person who would take Blue at face value.

Walking into the mouth of a giant robotic predator and plunking himself in the seat just because she’s indicating for him to do so, because it feels right, because he lets Blue into his heart and mind without hesitation or fear- Lance is opening himself wide up because to connect to anything, he connects emotionally. 

This is nicely embodied in that Blue’s element is water. Water is often seen as an embodiment of the emotional world and the subconscious. I’ve said this before but while all of the paladins have emotional conflicts, Lance is the one who knows the most about his and will often be seen taking initiative and discussing them quickly, rather than waiting to explode.

Onto the other Lions... Allura describes Black, first:

The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron. It will take a pilot who is a born leader and in control at all times, someone whose men will follow without hesitation. That is why Shiro, you will pilot the Black Lion.

The first adjective given to Black is decisive. The reasoning and decision-making head, which on a human body is the nexus of sensory information and the seat of the nervous system. Understand, take in information as fed by the limbs and act on it.

“In control at all times”, however, tells us that this is not just the cozy seat of the commander. The Black Lion is a heavy burden. You have to consider what control tends to mean for Shiro, someone who is keenly contextualized by trauma, imprisonment, and the anxiety disorder that sprung from it.

“In control” means staying ahead of mental demons. It means having autonomy over his own life and mind, things that the empire is all too eager to take away from him.

From the start, Black evokes this concept of the heavy crown- royalty in the purest sense, a leader who even bereft of regalia or title is seen and known as a king. A person crowned simply because they are charismatic, wise, and assertive- someone people reflexively look to for leadership. And also, a heavily burdened, weighted individual.

Black is represented by space- the sky at its most unbounded, the most liberating. When all Lions are empowered by their element, Black commands the greatest domain, and their massive scarlet wings are a promise of ruling that domain, of soaring through it. That’s a potent promise to make to an ex-prisoner.

But at the same time, space is also the sky at its most transient- space is a vacuum. The seat of Black’s power, this infinite kingdom, is also nothingness. It cannot be held in the hand, it cannot be touched.

Black is thematically associated with the juxtaposition of opposites. The imagery of an eclipse, and teleportation abilities that allow the user to be both present and absent- there and not, disappearing but asserting themselves.

“In control” of the Black Lion is to walk a tightrope act between power and mercy, fear and certainty. It is to command, but to also surrender oneself to trust. Shiro out of the team is the one most often confronted by a sense of helplessness.

So what sums up the Black Paladin? A mind under heavy pressure. That’s a hell of a challenge, and this is why we can see that the Black Paladin mentality can break, can fall off the tightrope in so many ways. Zarkon fell off the tightrope one way- arrogance, refusal to heed the warnings of his senses, disconnect from the limbs, leadership turned into tyranny. And in s3 and s4, Shiro falls off a different way- lack of self-worth, guilt, internalizing, trying to hand the burden to someone else because he assumes he’s no longer worthy of the throne.

But we’re not giving up on Shiro just yet- and he has the potential to rise above the situation.

The Green Lion has an inquisitive personality, and needs a pilot of intellect and daring. Pidge, you will pilot the Green Lion.

Curiosity is the defining trait of the Green Lion. A desire to know, a desire to investigate. I think that this can sometimes lend an overly benign image to Green, that people read her as fundamentally childish, “ooh, what’s this?” but there’s something else here, and something that’s illustrated big time in s2e4.

Green is represented by nature and plant life, but also technology. When Pidge deepens her bond with Green, we’re treated to an image of roots growing upwards and transforming into circuitry.

Simply, Green represents the concept of evolution. Grow, change, and become something entirely new- radically recreate your identity to thrive in an environment previously hostile to you. Quite apt for Pidge who created a new identity to find her family.

But that comes back to the concept of “daring”. If Green was just an overexcited investigative toddler then you wouldn’t need to be ‘daring’- daring suggests boldness, a certain degree of assertion in the face of problems. Which makes sense- it takes some serious determination to try and grow where you’re not welcome. Curiosity, for Green, comes with a spirit of relentlessness- it’s the tenacity with which a forest retakes the four-lane highway cut through it, pothole by pothole, weed by weed.

It’s the willpower required to fight your way through setbacks, failed harvests, and to exploit a mind that naturally thinks outside of the box against situations that are unkind. Interviews have also stated the Green Lion is not a destructive creature by nature- Green would rather find a way to open the puzzle box than take a hammer to it. Which also reflects well Pidge’s propensity for stealthy, technical fighting.

The Yellow Lion is caring and kind. Its pilot is one who puts the needs of others above his own. His heart must be mighty. As the leg of Voltron, you will lift the team up and hold them together.

This gives us a bit of insight into legs in general, which is needed since Lance just set himself up to be skipped, but it tells us some interesting things about the Yellow Lion.

Taken alone, this summary sounds very sacrificial, that the Yellow Lion runs himself ragged to protect others. But this is contextualized very differently when we see the Yellow Lion himself.

Yellow is an armored juggernaut commanding the greatest defensive armaments and a body that can smash directly through most adversaries. He’s the quintessential defensive force on Voltron, the most fortified Lion- set diagonally across from Red, the quintessential offensive force and least defensive Lion.

Yellow’s relationship with his allies is that he is a shield and a foundation to others- he’s the leg that anchors Voltron to the earth below them and, in the manner of Atlas, takes the world onto his shoulders. Yellow’s burden is heavy, but Allura emphasizes that “his heart must be mighty”- the role of Yellow Paladin is gifted to those who are built for this, who have the strength and force of will.

And again, this sometimes creates more of a benign image than what we see in practice. The Yellow Lion is forceful and assured. In contrast to Blue, who presides over the realm of the emotions, Yellow rules the very material and practical realm- and he is particularly concerned with threats. He makes a shield of his own flesh to deny enemies access to his allies, but he also won’t sit there passively in the face of those foes- in inclination to take care of his own, the Yellow Lion will level mountains, tear through steel, shatter stone. Strength of will, strength of body, the determination of a protector who says “No, I don’t think so, you aren’t getting at my friends today.”

And, sometimes, slams into said friends hard enough to send them spinning.

The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. It’s faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable. Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instinct than skill alone. Keith, you will fly the Red Lion.

At first glance Red- and Keith himself- seem to be arrogant loners. “Temperamental”? Too cool for everybody else?

But this is a false pretense through and through, and the rest of the description warns us about that. “Unstable.” “Relies on instinct.” Red is a glass cannon of a Lion- the greatest damage output, but something he pays for with the greatest fragility.

Again, the more we understand of Keith, what at a glance seems like hotshot confidence, not needing a team, is actually self-sufficiency born out of a lifetime of isolation. The instability and temper of the Red Lion is born from a sense of being wounded- grief, loss, and isolation. Red is needy, loyal, and the most aggressively responsive to his paladin in danger. In s2e6, Allura tells us that Red wasn’t like this before- the Lions never did this before.

Red’s prior paladin, Alfor, was surrounded by people, and largely, happy. His loyalty and commitment to his family as the literal right hand of the paladins was rewarded by a relatively long peacetime, the esteem of his peers, the adoration of his people. Those who were close to Alfor have nothing but good things to say about him. It’s a big deal in the flashback when Zarkon actually argues with Alfor over the rift.

But that happiness crumbled. Alfor died trying to save everyone else from what became of the rift, of Zarkon. In loyalty, he left himself behind as a sacrifice- in duty, he faced Zarkon alone, trying to take responsibility for his commander. The person he trusted.

And Red followed Alfor with bonding to Keith. Keith- the orphan of uncertain history- Keith, not a loner, but lonely. And connecting to Keith, we see Red with newfound anxiety, newfound sense of loss, newfound fear.

At his best, Red affords an insight beyond conventional means. It was Red who was able to reveal to Alfor the nature of Voltron and what their bodies needed to be- the nature of the paladin bond. Red is the oracle of Voltron. Like his combat capabilities, this is a potent advantage.

And yet, like fire, Red is needy. More than the other elements, fire can starve and weaken very easily. It can be destroyed, disrupted, extinguished- or rear up too greatly and destroy others around it. Fire can only thrive, really, with the nurturing graces of the other elements. Wood to feed it, air it can breathe. Water and earth to bank it and stop it from blazing out of control.

[ssfoc]

Hello Sea! Can you please share your thoughts on the whole "treat people with kindness" message? I mean it definitely feels very hs-like but at the same time where did this come from? Thank you!

We first spotted a black button saying “Treat People With Kindness” attached to H’s guitar strap at his SNL premier. We saw him at Madison Square Garden with a tiny rainbow flag pin on his shirt. Somewhere around that time, the TPWK pin popped up again, but in white or pink? instead of black.

I saw a lot of enthusiasm on my dash campaigning for this pin to be part of H’s tour merch. Perhaps it was the nucleus for the idea.

In my opinion, H is a person who has a strong personality (and strong opinions) but prefers not to show it in public, where he acts a pacifist, using evasion and mental jujitsu to thwart people who get too aggressive - be they interviewers, critics, or fans. “How would you like to be James Bond?” “Well, I don’t like guns.” “How would you define your sexuality?” “I’ve never felt the need to.”

People who try to rile him - by asking questions about his private life, or Taylor, for example - get a media-trained, swerved answer. Instead of defensiveness, they get niceness: “I think she’s a great songwriter. We all use our personal experiences to write songs so I don’t blame her.” “What about the ladies?” “It’s my first fashion show, and it’s great!”

For his promo, Harry has selected media where he is either in friendly company or the interviews have been pre-taped. He is able to be genuinely friendly and kind because he has cut out those venues who have been unkind to him in the past (goodbye GQ).

Likewise, in some of his photos, especially with people who have tracked him down (the unfortunate NYC photos where he complained that he was going to miss his flight, but was still stopped for photos), Harry doesn’t appear happy at all, but nonetheless obliged without sulking or bad behavior - unlike many of his contemporaries.

He is genuinely kind in so many ways: granting Make-a-Wish requests in a quiet manner, granting many, many requests for fan photos, donating to charity and charity auctions, feeding hungry fans, speaking up in concert for gender, sexual, and racial equality.

Because of his kindness, some people have continued to demand more, but I don’t think his personality is comfortable with being more forceful and outspoken than he is. Harry does not do confrontation. True, he’s a celebrity, but he is one who so carefully guards his privacy, and (as we’ve seen on camera) he is someone who takes criticism to heart. As tough and experienced as he is, I don’t see him as a person who likes to spar publicly. He’s not Kanye or the Gallaghers (and he hasn’t achieved their status as musical icons either). He is still hurt by people judging him harshly. His team tries to protect him as much as it can, but sometimes that can come off appearing sterile and controlled, like trying to see a painting through three layers of bubble wrap.

Instead of letting anger seethe inside, maybe Treat People with Kindness is like a Buddhist mantra (remember he read Herman Hess’ “Siddhartha”) to let anger go, to find balance within. There are people one cannot control; they will unexpectedly provoke and attack. Kindness is the way to defuse one’s own anger, and go on.

[drmyler]

The - I & ME - Psychoanalysis

The “I” & the “ME” - a Psycho-therapeutic Perspective

Abstract:

The concept of the model – I & ME – came from therapeutic practice over many years, as a demonstration model, to explain past trauma and how it effects or informs thinking, emotion and behaviour in the “here and now” moment when facing new choices and decisions from the perspective of the persons survival and well-being – whether this be negative or a positive reaction to circumstances. (1. Myler 2002)

 This paper explains to way the model works practically in therapy and its usefulness to help clients / patients understand the unconscious processes that can influence their every day lives. The outcome being enabling the client / patient to make better informed choices with an open mind to the influences from the past that may be steering them towards negative decision making based on faulty thinking and inappropriate behaviours.

Introduction:

The “ME”

In order to understand the model of the “I & ME” we must first decide the meaning of each element and how it affects the other. The “ME” can be seen as your social self -  that part of your personality that is made up of trait behaviours such as being – good or bad – kind or unkind etc.  Traits are ways of describing someone to another in order to communicate a shared understanding of that person. If I was to ask your five best friends – who are you? They would most likely describe you as a series of trait words, he / she is kind, thoughtful, active and generous. This then gives a shared view of the persons social self (ME). The “ME” then becomes the shared view of the persons character and what behaviour to expect from them if you should interact with them. It also bears witness from friends how they see that person behaving in numerous situations – therefore has a predictive value to knowing what to expect (expectations) in situations confronting that person. Attribution is the idea that we assign values to others based on very little information or insight – therefore the accuracy of the social self (ME) is subject to attribution-error in the sense of how well do people really know us?

 However the concept of mirroring can occur in the client / patient in the sense that if enough friends describe you a certain way then you start to believe this is in fact who you are. In this case many people try to live up to and imitate the social self as others have seen them – in other words the “ME” become who you think you are and who you would want to be. A reflection (mirroring) of others opinion of you is also how they react and treat you on a daily basis. This can also have the effect of imprisoning the clients personality within defined ranges of how others see us such as family, close friends and colleagues, who can hem us into a person type, that they expect of us and we come to expect of ourselves. It is no accident that people who travel often and meet many strangers have a better idea of their inner self as they are free to express repressed parts of their personality without it effecting the opinion of those who know them on a daily  basis. It is here that we can discuss the concept of the “I” over the “ME” in the model.

The “I”

The “I” is best described as  our secret self -  that part of us that only we know about – that keeps our secrets from the past – whether traumatic, shameful or biographical – the “I” is the unconscious influencer that informs the “ME” silently but often effectively in its decision making. How then is the “I” created from the past? In order to understand this some examples are the best illustration.

Case 1:

The boy was eight years old – at that moment he stands with his younger sister being surrounded by five older boys who are intent on bullying him – in order to survive this eight year olds mind makes a decision to cry. The strategy being that if he cries the boys will leave them alone. However at the moment of tears his sister, looking assertive towards the bullies, turns to him and asks him why he is crying like a baby? The boy immediately feels shame, embarrassment and fear. Shame that his sister thinks he is a coward, embarrassment in that the boys are laughing at his show of fear and further he fears that his strategy has backfired and more bullying is going to happen. As the boy grows up to be a teenager the one moment of trauma stays with him although the actual incident is long forgotten to memory. However his “I” has retained the idea of being a coward – he cannot shake the feeling when his “ME” is confronted with situations that require him to be brave he has an unspeakable fear response, he becomes aware he may be judged (just as his sister had done) and so with great pain he tries to as an adult to do what is expected of him from the social self (“ME”) and react accordingly even though he feels just as he did at eight years old. In later life he constantly now challenges himself to do brave things such as mountain climbing, army service, potholing, martial arts training and more. All these things to constantly challenge his “I” - his true self – the boy who was seen as a coward by his sister. It can be said that bravery often comes from cowardliness for without fear how can you face a world of tough choices? Bravery without fear is just idiotic foolishness of the types who think they are indestructible we give them medals when they are dead!

Case 2:

The girl was young and innocent of the world. Coveted by nurturing parents, she lived a peaceful quiet life at home. Her mother's brother, a teenager comes to stay and he is given the bed alongside hers  every Friday to Sunday while he attends weekend community service for theft. At first she is excited by the company and talks with her young uncle about her school and friends and listens to his adventures of getting into trouble and going to court where he was sentenced to community service – cleaning pubic toilets over the weekends for several months as an alternative to jail. She is shocked by his wickedness and excited by his stories. His habit soon came to sit on her bed and gradually holding her  in a hug with his arm around her shoulder – she did not feel this to be a bad thing – merely her uncle being super nice and kind. He then began lying next to her holding her close – she felt his hands touching her while he was seemingly sleeping! She felt some stirring of excitement and fear at what he was doing but she still felt it was alright. Over time however his touching and now kissing her became more forceful – she did not like these feelings and complained to him but he quietly explained that it was ok and he was teaching her to feel love. One evening and for many others to come he entered her and raped her. At her very young age she only felt pain and fear.  For months until the end of the community service he regularly raped and abused her – all the time her confusion and feeling trapped in a confusion of emotions. One day he left and never came back again. After several months she decided to tell he mother what had happened but feared she would be in trouble or that her uncle might be punished too. Her mother's reaction was to not talk such nonsense and that she had made it all up or just dreamed it – how could it have gone on so long without her finding out? The little girls was told to keep it to herself and never ever mention it to her father. The trauma the girl suffered was assigned to her “I” for a secret self that only she would ever know about. As she grew she avoided boys and later men – she became pretty and dressed well, being proud of her demeanor -  but even at 30 years old she was technically still a virgin and had no relationships with men. She was attracted to men but could never allow any of them more than a date with mixed company. To her friends and family she was merely the shy girl who could not find a suitable man to marry her. Her “ME” was of the kind, sweet, shy and pretty girl that everyone liked. However her “I” was extremely damaged by her history of abuse. She had long forgotten (repressed) what had happened to her (as per her mothers instructions). When she was approached by nice men who liked her looks and wished to get to know her – she rejected them quickly  - she feared being close – being vulnerable – and believed strongly in that she was the Good Girl and did not give in to men's desires – even though she could not articulate exactly why she felt that way. She was often confused by her girl friends way of talking about men and their desires to have sexually relationships or romantic associations.

 In each case the trauma to the “I” was either a single moment that defined a life or long term abuse that created a long term injunction of being close to men whom she felt were both attractive and threatening at the same time. In the first case it is easy to see that the biographical memory started a chain reaction of behaviours that led the boy to have to reprove his manhood (bravely) over and over again. In the second case the fear of men is easy to understand from the point of view of the long term abuse and the eventually covering up of the crime by the mother's concern for kinship and family harmony. (Very common is Asiatic countries where face is more important than the damage to one individual). The “I” therefore is the constant unconscious informer of the social self (ME) – when procrastination is present or choices are being made that are contrary to our greater good then there is the hidden “I” waiting to inform our decision sometimes so negatively that it can impact our feeling of well-being such as mood disorders for depression or anxiety leading to eventually being labeled by our friends as weird, not normal – and our social self our “ME” becomes changed by that negativity around us – convincing us eventually that there is something wrong with us – and so we seek the insight of the counsellor, psychologist or in the worse case scenario the psychiatrist.

The “I” & “ME” in therapeutic practice

When the client / patient arrives in the therapists office the first session maybe merely the exchange of stories – the venting of feelings and emotions that have brought the person so seek help or to be rescued from the life that has turned them into that depressed person or that anxious neurotic. Diagnosis is often just a labeling process for insurance purposes but the real work begins with the past. Most “here and now” therapists miss so much of the why's of mood disorders because they believe you cannot change the past so why bother dealing with it – it is the version of throwing the baby out with the bathwater (or the Freud out with the ideas).

Often a one page biography of the family, developing years and the current situation can give the therapist a good over-view of the persons history with the proviso that if they have a particular story they wish to share that could be done as a separate paper. After a review of the biographical information the therapist can dig deeper during analysis for any indication of trauma as a child – whether a single moment or a continued situation that may have occurred. In order to help the client think about and consider their personal experience the “I” & “ME” model can be demonstrated on a whiteboard and explained in terms of the secret self over the social self that is formed by the expectations of others and our purpose for mirroring those traits described. In most cases the clients listening to the explanation are already assessing their biographical memories for instances of what could constitute their secret self (“I”). It is easier to start out with a question after the model is explained, such as if I asked five of your friends who you are – what would the say or describe you as? This then is then is the personal perception of the social self as mirrored by others. (The ME).

 Once you establish that they feel this is who they are and their expectations to achieve the “ME” on a daily basis – the therapist can go back to the whiteboard and ask the more difficult question – then who is your “I” - what secrets do you have about yourself that only you know about – that only you feel – that inform who you really are as opposed to what others imagine you to be through the activity of your social self (“ME”)?

 Many clients initially decline to answer directly the question of the secret self (“I”) as they have kept that information closeted in their inner most mind for many years – after all that is what a secret is. It may refer to their sexuality, the idea of their values, morality and many other sensitive areas of their lives. Here the therapist must reinforce the idea of a safe place in therapy where clients can reveal their true thoughts, to be authentic and open about their inner most compulsions without fear of judgment and criticism. There are many subtexts to the “I” such as abuse, paraphelia, repressed desires, shameful acts, self doubt and a wide spectrum of feelings attached to each area of concern. However with time and trust clients can reveal that inner trauma within the secret self and so start to deal with and heal that psychological damage that was done to them so long ago.

Outcomes:

Using this model of the “I” & “ME” for several hundred patients (2. Myler 2002 - 2018) in real practice has shown time and time again of its effectiveness in creating the right environment for change – tackling such issues as social comparison, empathy, trauma and many other social examples of mood disorders over time. Patients and clients find it simple to grasp and understands in a short period of time and so go onto explore their own barriers to contentment in life often barred from the unconscious secret self and the mirrored social self trying to meet the expectations of others confining them to a categorization of personality that goes on to define their actions when new situations of problems meet them. Sometimes keeping it simple can help a client / patient achieve a deep understanding of themselves and the effect of others on their choices in life and personality development. The best outcome would be the client who knows themselves better, understands their internal motivation and even though they cannot change the past they can at least make better informed decisions about why they behave and think in the way that they do.

References:

1.      Myler S F (2002) The Development of the “I” & “ME” model (unpublished).

2.      Myler S F (2002 - 2018) Private practice notes

[sparklefayritalemoda]

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? No, I kinda think it is nice to not have that cosmic significance but still be significance to some people in the world.  

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? Yes, places (maybe I’ll have a chance to visit them at some point) but people definitely.

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? I dunno. I wish there would be, but my rational mind tells me no.

Do you place any value in gender roles? No not really. I care about the person, their soul and if there are a decent human being and that’s where I put my value. Not saying that gender roles don’t have any value.

Do you have to be related to be family? Family is more than blood.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? A few of them yes.

Are you in love? Do you want to be? No and yes want to be, but tbh I dunno really. It would be nice I guess.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? Not really sure. I think you can put it into categories but in the end love is a general sensation.

Would you be happy with a life without romance? No, cause I would also miss all the romantic songs, poetry etc. Which make the world a bit better.

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? I think so yes, once you love somebody you will always love them somehow, even just a bit. I think the memory plays an important part in that case.

Would you change your appearance if you could? No.

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? I dunno, don’t think so. I mean if there’s a magical world def yes.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Not really.

Would you want to be reincarnated? No, one life is enough in the end I would say.

Do you think you’re special, or just another

person amongst billions? Can you be both? One can be both. I think everyone is special in their unique way and no one is insignificant. But if you’re looking at the bigger picture, we are not that significant anymore, and become more or less a person amongst billions. I think in general people shouldn’t take themselves so seriously all the time, not everything resolves around them.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? Yes. Recent events showcased how important it is to do that.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? Not that I can remember.

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? Not very, but sometimes it is nice to have a god to talk to. No, I don’t think so.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why?

Do you want a grand adventure? Yes. That would be nice for a chance.

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? Yes. I actually have a full list of people haha.

How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better? I dunno how long it would take as I’ve never really been in love before. Both I think, they are just different sensations.

Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both? Depends. But I would like to think it is about something more.

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I think so, but I’m not sure. The question is does anyone know himself/herself fully?

How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? I mean I don’t live gender fluidity (I see myself as she/her) but I try to understand the general concept as best as I can.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Moving to Shanghai (well my parents decided that but it was very life changing)

Are you afraid of growing old? No.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? No I don’t think so. I come to the decision that when I die, I die and to live forever must be exhausting.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? Yes, my god.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? Free will.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? No thank god not, that would be awful and so unsettling to know and be right about.

Do you believe in star signs? Yes I do. And sometimes I find they are true indeed.

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? I dunno, I think there is no real age to define if you’re an adult or not. I know people who are older than others and behave like toddlers. So I cannot really say.

Was your childhood happy? Yes, very happy. For me most wonderful childhood I could have.

What are you missing from your life? I dunno, success maybe and financial independence. And also beeing truly me. But knowing the circumstances it is very difficult in the moment and it will come with time ( I hope).

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yes and yes. Was really funny and interesting.

Do opposites attract? Yes they do, otherwise magnetism would be just a fluke.

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? No not at all. But that’s the nice things about life, always surprising.

Do you know what you want out of life? Being me the most possible, also being truthful and honest.

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? Having courage and being kind. Not fully, is anyone really? It depends on which side you act on.

What fundamentally matters do you? Love, success, peace and joy to be super cliche.

Is freewill an illusion? I dunno, if it wouldn’t be at least it would be a good illusion. But I guess there are also some rules and laws that restrict freewill. Maybe we’re also living in a matrix, who knows.

Do you create art? How do you define art? Yes I do create art. For me it is in everyday life, like in poetry, beauty, romance. It can be anything, and it is the thing we stay alive for (like Robin Williams once said).

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? Generally I am truthful, though sometimes I lie so I won’t hurt other people and I also lie to myself sometimes which is the worst I think.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? I dunno, maybe by just the people who are close to me. And I think for being me the best way possible, having courage and being kind.

Is true world peace ever possible? No, I don’t think so.

Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? Ugh I dunno. I guess to experience it is to live.

Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free? I feel free, not hundert percent but very. But I think no one can be truly free, cause that implies living with no law etc. and that is impossible or not wanted at least.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yes, meaning I am my worst critic. But otherwise no, I’m no better than anyone else.

What do you expect from a friend or partner? Being truthful, good listener, understanding, trustworthy, kind, humourfull, accepting, tolerant.

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? How do you see yourself?

Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some?

No, def inherited and absorbed some as well.

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? I dunno tbh, nothing comes to my mind this minute.

Can human really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? No, I believe it goes behind our understanding. And maybe it is nice for a chance to now know everything in the world.

Is a conscious what makes someone a person? Yes, at least it plays a part in it.

What do you think about artificial intelligence? It is a very handy, interesting tool. Of course useful, but should be treated careful, cause it also can be dangerous as it is offering unlimited possibilities almost.

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? Yes I think so, esp. during the recent times during Corona. We all need escape from time to time and it is nice. I don’t think it is a bad thing, I escape into books. As long as it is in an healthy relation to your real life.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? No I don’t think so. But would be interesting to know or at least to try to find it out

What do you think the next era of music will be like? Different than this one.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? Same as 59.

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? I think they seem so strange cause we live in them.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? No I don’t want to meet any.

How confident are you, really? I would say very. But not too much, an healthy amount.

How consistent is your perception of time? It varies tbh but mainyl consistent.

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? Age 16 seems right. But I mean in Germany you’re allowed to vote with 18, so I guess this is a good age as well. Children no, they don’t understand politics.

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? A bit weird as it can lead to many misinterpretations in harmful ways.

What’s the worse thing a person can be? Being unkind and simply rude, a monster.

How do you feel about monogamy? Interesting, and I mean isn’t it the concept of marriage? To marry someone for live until death parts them.

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? Yes I think so.

What’s the tragedy of your life? So far that my grandmother died and didn’t get to see all the milestones of her grandchildren.

Would your life make a good play? Maybe, I dunno.

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? No. But I can’t fully judge that.

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? A bit yes. But I see myself more as a citizen of the world.

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Yes. It should be a given.  

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Yes I do, for the people that cared for me. I guess give back what they gave to me, unless it harms you or your family/friends too much.

Do you crave approval and/or praise? Sometimes yes. Not all the time though.

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? Depends.

Are you ever going to be satisfied? No I don’t think so. But depends what kind of satisfied as there can be different ones.

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? First music that conveys my emotions and than something that makes me happy.

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? Everything at any time.

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? If it is a very good friend of mine yes..

Are you a deep person? Yes, 1000%.

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? I would think about it and maybe yes.

Are you who people think you are? I dunno how good people know me, but I would like to think no.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? No I don’t think so, pretty happy with my life so far.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? Biting my nails and I should start fixing it.

Do you anger easily? No.

Are you a jealous person? No. But depends on the subject.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? No.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? No.

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? Yes but very different. Atm no one really, I try to stop hating people as it is just nasty business and takes a lot of energy.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

Yes, I speak English, German and Chinese. I dream mostly in German, sometimes English and I would love to learn Italian, a bit more Chinese and maybe Hebrew.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? Yes sometimes I do.

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Unconditionally, gently, quietly.

Is unrequited love real love? No, as it is one sided. But then again someone feels love so I guess it can be real.

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? I dunno, tbh I don’t think so, but I don’t care that much. As long as I know who I am, I’m good.

Are you overly analytical? Usually yes. I think and analyse all the time, sometimes more, sometimes less.

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? Rarely.

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? I believe in magic but I am not superstitious.

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? I belive that life has its way of showing you whats good and not good for you and it leads you in the right direction. What you make of it, is your responsibility (to a certain degree, many things just happen you cannot be responsible for) and it does not have to be the right time as well. But I believe in a greater power and that in the end everything will be fine, otherwise it is not the end.

[janeaustentextposts]

Can you tell me more about your decision to put Darcy in Hufflepuff? I am a Hufflepuff-identifying person who is often awkward and sometimes rude, but my reasoning is that I value kindness and honor over everything else, even if I am unintentionally unkind sometimes. I'm wondering if your reasoning for Darcy was similar, or if he just didn't fit anywhere else.

Certainly! Darcy as a Hufflepuff was a very deliberate choice on my part, because I think he does exemplify some of the better qualities of the house. Some have said he’s a Gryffindor, but I think that’s the knee-jerk urge to put any hero in the “heroic” house; but just because Gryffindors are known for their bravery doesn’t mean no-one else can ever do anything brave.I think what I had to look at was what I felt the overall strongest positive traits were in Darcy, and despite his awkward ways, his deepest character element seems to be his loyalty. Even when he does wrong (separating Bingley and Jane) he does truly believe that he is doing what is best for his good friend. Later, even when he feels he must no longer have any real chance with Elizabeth, he keeps faith with her enough to perform a great and selfless service to her and her family, without ever asking for recognition or reward.There’s a tendency to treat Hufflepuff as the Nice House, which I think does a disservice to people in general, really, because people can’t be categorized so neatly. (Except Jane and Bingley who are ANGELS but they are outliers and should not have been counted.) In every house there are examples of how their major traits can lead people into wrong choices and actions--Gryffindor’s bravery leading to reckless stupidity; Ravenclaw’s intelligence leading them to be too cerebral and unconnected; Slytherin’s ambitions leading them to brush aside anything which does not serve their purpose; and Hufflepuff’s loyalty and hard-work ethic perhaps leading to a kind of single-minded pride which may cause hurt to others.

Darcy is very careful--particularly after the incident with Georgiana, and in his own nature, he is not inclined to take risks. His proposal to Elizabeth is almost as much of a shock to him as it is to her. He’s a conscientious master of Pemberley, well-regarded by his employees and tenants, which speaks to his work-ethic as the manager of such a vast and important estate. Even after his rejection by Lizzy, he works to change himself, if only for the sake of acknowledging that She Had A Point. He does not initially expect to win her after such a rebuke as she left him with.

His honour forces him to delicately explain the truth of what happened with Wickham, as well as what happened with Bingley, and his honest involvement in it. He explains his motivation, there, without trying to soften what he did--only laying out the bare facts and what he had understood, even if he was wrong. Elizabeth, still in a rage on Jane’s behalf, cannot at first even acknowledge that, yeah, okay, her mother totally gave the impression that the girls were after rich husbands, and Jane herself is a touch too diffident when it comes to showing her true feelings towards Bingley in public, besides being A Friend to All making it very hard to read when she actually really really likes someone because she acts like she already really really likes everyone.

All this to say that Darcy is, to my mind, one of the huffliest puffs.

[christinegphillips]

Why Is Life So Hard – You Have The Answer You Just Don’t Know It Yet

Why is life so hard? It is a combination of things that make us look at the World and think life is so hard and it is also an attitude that you can also understand easily. I have had so much crap in my life that I have often hated my life for lots of different reasons.

The art of life itself is learning how to love yourself and also letting go of the past and focusing on your future. Easy to say I know but in my experience after 3 marriages, 4 children, being made redundant 5 times, moving 15 times and struggling to get out of bed in the morning I found the secret to what a great life should look like.

So I am going to reveal the secrets that I use on a daily basis to stay positive in life and live your best life by giving you my hints and tips and some advice on how and when a hard life might impact you most. We are all also living through a global pandemic at the moment with corona virus and so many people are losing lives, friends and jobs that it is difficult to even feel sorry for yourself because everyone is struggling through life.

Why is life so hard – Photo by Renda Eko Riyadi from Pexels

My Top Tips On Why Life Is So Hard And How To Live A Great Life Instead Starting Today

Everyone is equal – I hear this a lot because people say why is life so easy for others and it is harder for me. That is because you only see what you see and whilst it might seem like someone has an easy life, you have not had to walk their path in life. If you had walked their path you will find that they too have the same shit that everyone else has thrown at them. It is just their ability to bounce back and follow their dreams that matters.

Everything you think is just a thought – All the things that go around in your head and all the overthinking you do are just thoughts. Most of the things we process around us are interpreted in different ways through our own thinking and education. We are trained to think in certain ways from how we are brought up and our expectations are wildly different from each other in life. Every time you go down the negative though pattern of my life is so hard and I hate it, that is what you will eventually train your mind to think. This makes it even harder to turn those thoughts on their head when something good happens. When you learn to stay positive however and think good thoughts then you generally see life in a different light and your mind is trained to think good things. So when bad things happen you can accept them more easily.

Controlling those thoughts – No thoughts can impact you unless you allow them to do so. You need to take control of these thoughts and act through fact and not fiction. For instance I guarantee you that every word you say is interpreted in a different way by different people. As everyone is individual with their own thought processes. So whilst you may think that they are having a great life and you are having a hard life. Unless you sit down and talk to that person and understand the differences between your lives you would never know the true answer. But we tend to make up our own minds just like judging a book by its cover. It is really important that the thoughts that you have are truthful and useful and can be used in a positive way in your life. You just have to stay consistent with it.

You are in control – Only you can completely change your life if you want to. Whether you think you have control or not, you do. You are the only person that can make yourself get out of bed in the morning, you are the only person that can make yourself smile, you are the only person that can upset yourself, you are the only person that can get a new job, you are the only person that can put effort into life and live your best life moving forward. You are in control and when you take control of your life then life will not be as hard as you think it is.

Bad shit happens to all of us – It is okay to feel sorry for yourself temporarily when bad things happen but if you want to live life in the dream then you have to move forward. At the moment I have lost my job and have 4 kids to feed and bills to pay. Do I feel sorry for myself no, I am improving my fitness, my cv, applying for jobs, practicing interview techniques and doing everything I can to make a better life when the dream job I want comes along. You have to become a better person inside when crap happens and not give into those intrusive thoughts that try and make you feel sorry for yourself. If you give into those thoughts like I said above you will spiral downwards and when you meet the devil on your way, you will wish you had thought about things differently. While you still have to arms and two legs you have every opportunity to change your life for the better moving forward.

You have the power to do this – When you dig deep down inside yourself you have the ability and the power to do anything you want to in life. It is only because you are holding yourself back and thinking that life is so hard that is stopping you from moving forward. It is those awful thoughts that try and convince you all the time that life is hard and you cannot do anything about it. We all all need to learn how to cheer ourselves up and find happiness again. Sounds I know and it takes time to get a mindset of success but you can do this, you just have to put your mind to it.

Practice kindness – My step daughter had been treated badly by her father when I met my new wide. She would sit in the corner of the room with her hood up and not talk to anyone. After a serious operation when she was young it left her with a birth mark on her face and she thought life was hard. She thought everyone was mean and everyone was unkind. Since knowing me my wife and i have taught her that life is not like that, surrounding yourself with good people who are kind, add value to your life, treat you properly will change your attitude towards life itself. Now she is beautiful, funny, amazing and loves life. So never ever give up just learn how to be nice to others and they will be nice to you too and offer you guidance and help through life.

This is just temporary – We all go through life thinking this is just too hard. Sometimes pushing us to the limits where we think what is the point of life itself. I have been to those deepest darkest of places and I can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to change your perspective on life by taking control of your life and living for yourself in mind. When you consistently keep moving forward then the law of averages says that good things will eventually happen. When you give up however the law of averages goes down and you have very little chance of pulling it back. In an analogy, it is a bit like wanting to win the lottery without ever buying a ticket and hating life because you never won.

Work hard – If you set yourself goals in life and have a plan on how to achieve them then you will have a massive chance of living the life of your dreams. This is measurable and actionable and will give you the reward and recognition you need to evaluate whether life really is hard or whether you are just not trying hard enough to overcome the obstacles that get in your way. As above bad shit happens to us all, but when you challenge yourself in life to do more you accept that obstacles are going to come but you actively train your mind to leap over them when they arrive. This takes hard work and practice but you can do it.

Don’t listen to other people – The biggest issue I see with people is they worry about what others will think off them. They worry about being criticized, picked on, not being popular, being hated. Listen life is hard when you listen to others because they can be cruel. As above with my stepdaughter people are horrible sometimes and you need to be kind to yourself instead. For every person that is unkind there are plenty more that will offer you the kindness and support you need in your life and if you are putting in the effort they will help you every step of the way. So move away from unkind people and do not listen to their cruel words either. No one should ever make you feel devalued in life and if they do then get rid of them as quickly as you possibly can.

Have fun – I don’t care what anyone says life is what you make of it. You put in the effort and take control of your life and you will be rewarded for it. I haven’t told you half of what my life was like but I guarantee you in the dark days you always head towards the dark. When you make life what you want it to be and never give up on living your dreams, the responsibility and rewards that gives you makes you want to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. Yes sometimes life can be really hard but you overlook those times and push them to one side and get on with your life again as quickly as possible.

Why Is Life So Hard In Common Scenarios

As a teenager – Life is pretty crappy as a teenager and for no other reason than hormones, wanting to be liked, crappy school work, boredom, parents that don’t understand you and lots of other reasons too. This is a stage in your life where you will find it hard, you might live vicariously through others as role models, you might have no friends at all. The only advice I can give you here is this. My son was massively overweight due to my ex over feeding him at the time. He lost all interest in life and just was not happy. He came to stay with me and I taught him the importance of fitness, taking care of himself and within a few months he lost all of the weight. Due to his fitness he joined the basketball team and rugby team and is now one of the most popular children at his school and love by everyone. He thought life was hard and rightly so because he was picked on and treated badly because kids can be cruel. But he also wanted to change and he is a kind and considerate boy has been taught that empathy for others is important. But he tried and he courageously overcame every obstacle to now live a great life. So get out there and socialize, join clubs and get into sports. You will meet lots of new friends and your life as a teenager will become more fun as a result of this.

After graduation or college – This is a massive change in your life as you have been studying for years and years and now have to get a job. Learn how to pay the bills and stand on your own two feet. This is the time where now you have to apply what you have learned into the workplace. So get a great cv done and approach companies on linkedin and others and offer to do some placement work whilst you are looking for that great job. Socialize with people in the community that you want to work in and network. If you want to be successful in life then this will stand you in great stead. Networking is one of the great assets that anyone can have if they want to do well in the future.

Hard and confusing generally – Because we have to make difficult decisions in life and let go of the past. We have to take life with a pinch of salt and accept what it throws at us because we never know what it has in store for us. We know that everything happens for a reason and we have to accept this with the view of knowing that somewhere something positive will come out of it. This is hard when you cannot see the wood through the trees, but generally when you look back on bad events there is a reason for it happening in the first place.

In relationships – If you have broken up with someone then you need to learn how to get over them and quickly. If you let them keep you in the past then you will never move forward in life. Being in relationships means that you have think about the other person as well as yourself. You cannot be completely selfish and you should have each others backs every step of the way. Yes life will be hard when you disagree on things but you have to find a way to agree to disagree and move forward together. True love will teach you this and if you are arguing consistently with someone and they don’t add value to your life and make it harder, then let them go, only if you have done everything to save your relationship in the first instance of course.

Why Is Life So Hard Frequently Asked Questions

Is life supposed to be hard? For some people it can be yes and for others even though I said differently above they do have an easier life. I often look at friends and see they’ve been happily married forever, got great kids, still got their parents, doing well in life and happy. Even though it seems like they are better off than me, they actually aren’t because as a person I have learnt things in life that no one should have to feel and that is why I believe in kindness, giving love, being empathic because I have stood in most people’s shoes. I am not jealous at all, I am happy that they have not had to go through the pain that I have. But on the other hand I am proud of going through that pain because it has made me the person I am today too.

Why do I suck at life? Sometimes we feel as if we have caused the problem but we haven’t. Life is about learning to live with others and learning how to act and behave in front of other people. This does not mean changing who we are, but it means learning to communicate in different circle in order to get the best outcome in life. So you don’t suck you just need to believe that you can do anything in life, build your confidence and get out there and prove to everyone that you are you and you are capable of achieving great things in life.

How do I stay positive? Staying positive is hard and it takes work. The best way to do this is by having rewards and recognition for what you do. Whether this is playing as part of a team or having goals in life that you can achieve. Looking at accomplishing these things will make you feel positive that you can achieve what you want in life and will allow you go out there and do more of that.

How do you handle difficult situations in life? You assess the situations with a clear mind and empathic approach as everyone has their own stories and wants their own outcome. All you can do is be the better person and know that whether this is a hard decision or not that everything does happen for a reason. So take your time with the decisions that you make and stand by them and don’t live with regrets. If you make a mistake, then apologize but keeping moving forward. We all make mistakes in life it is just learning not to do the same thing twice that is important.

What makes a life worth living? Everyone has their own value in life, it doesn’t matter who they are, what religion, what color, what they like dislike. Everyone has their place for good or bad reasons. In your own life you want to look back with contentment that you have done everything you can to have the greatest life possible. You can achieve anything you want to if you learn not hold yourself back and go out there and get what you want. So find your meaning in life and get out there and do it.

To me life can be hard yes but by also giving love to others, finding fun in simple things, seeing the beauty around you, being kind and trying hard in life makes more sense than curling up in a ball and hating life and everything around you. I understand how hard it is though which is why I put my change your life transformation program together to help you can find here https://changeyourlifeforever.co.uk

Not only will you find out about why life is so hard but I will help you see life in a different way and help you live a happy and fulfilled lifestyle moving forward too. I hope to see you in there and in the meantime have a great life best wishes your friend Scott

Why Is Life So Hard – You Have The Answer You Just Don’t Know It Yet published first on https://changeurlifeforever.blogspot.com/

[docholligay]

Cinderuka: Chapter One--The Ashes of a Burnt Life

This is the beginning of my contribution to the Same Prompt Party! I hope others join us, and let me know if you like this--I’ll have an eye to completing it! 1900 words

Most fairy tales start with a dead parent, and ours will be no different, as there is no improvement that has yet been found over the course of storytelling to put a young woman into a peril quite like killing her parents.

Tragedies come in threes, they say, and so it was for Haruka’s young life, a happy little blonde girl, rambunctious in the sun at eight years. She had never been terribly feminine, this Haruka, running in the sun in her breeches, but her mother took it in stride--not all flowers are delicate, she would say, why, look at the dandelion, rough and tumble and no less a flower, no less bright and beautiful, for that.

She made Haruka feel very special indeed.

And so, of course, she took very ill.

Haruka was standing in a field, picking dandelions and violets and wild irises, when the first great tragedy of her life struck.

Those were her favorite wildflowers, and her mother had always said how perfectly they blended together, smiling whenever Haruka brought them by. She wanted to make her mother smile. She’d been so sick.

Her father’s voice rumbled her name like thunder across the otherwise blue sky, and only moments later, Haruka would know the rain of her own tears.

But parents are not the only things that die in stories. Dreams too, often die, the trail of the story a song of hope that they might rise like the eternal phoenix.

And so it was with a princess so very far from Haruka, who was not trapped by any dragon in a high tower, but felt as well as she might be, for all the freedom she had. Princess Michiru sat at the desk of her tutor, looking out the window at the flowers, wishing she was among them, running, and not a princess at all, even they bowed to her in the wind, and dreaming she was anywhere else, anywhere real.

“You are very fortunate, Princess,” her tutor called her attention back to the books, and Michiru sat straight, remembering herself, “in some less civilized kingdoms, women are not permitted to rule, even if they are the firstborn.”

Michiru scowled a bit, in the way the young parts of her still remembered how. “That’s foolish.”

“Women are considered incapable of rule, in such places.”

Michiru shook her head. “It’s as reasonable as not permitting those who are brunettes.”

The tutor lowered her glasses. “I did not say it was reasonable, I said it happened. This is why you must polish yourself, to be a fine ruler, Michiru. You will have to prove yourselves in the eyes of the world.”

There was no freedom, Michiru realized, in moments like these, even in her young life. She must be educated and crisp and stand tall in the face of any adversary, poised and perfect. She must not only prove herself in the eyes of the world, but her parents and her followers. Dreams must sometimes be laid to rest, the same as the mother of a little girl across the kingdom.

The second tragedy in Haruka’s bundle came not in funereal black but in wedding white, her father smiling broadly as he took the hand of the woman next to him. It had been a year since her mother died, too long for him to remain a widower, said the people of the town, so handsome and well-off, a magnificent tailor who had taught Haruka t his hand since he was little.

She was a fine lady, Haruka thought, with two daughters that would now be her sisters, and she extended her small bouquet happily to her.

“These are for you, Mother!”

She smiled weakly. “No, no, that cannot do,” she looked over at her father, as if to explain, “I would never want to take you mother’s place. I am not your mother, you know.”

Haruka nodded quietly.

“You must call me Stepmother. I think that will do.”

Haruka nodded again. “Yes, Stepmother.”

The wedding bells chimed overhead, and Haruka could not help but notice that the high pealing sounded a little bit like the rain on the cobblestones.

Haruka’s father was a good man, if not a brilliant one, and with him, things carried on happy for some time. Haruka helped in the tailor’s shop, learning to cut carefully vest and dresses and all assorted other things. She liked the work, and she had a talent for it, even in her youth, and took bits of remnant home to practice her craft by candlelight.

She began imagining taking over her father’s shop, when he decided to retire--with years of apprenticing and experience, she might overtake even him in skill, though she would never say such a thing to him.

Her stepmother held her always at a distance, never giving Haruka the mother she craved, and her stepsisters were beautiful and handsome at turns, witty and talented in the more classic ways--their mother was the widow of a fine horseman, who had kept them in some wealth over the course of his lifetime, and so they had learned music and finery and all the graces Haruka had not learned inside the tailor’s shop--but they were, to her, quite unkind, and ugly in the ways that mattered, and so she kept to the shop or to her fields, and did not worry overmuch about her home life, for her father was always there.

But they say tragedies come in threes.

Haruka was walking home from the shop, her bag laden with little odds and ends she had managed to nip around here and there with her father’s blessing. He walked alongside her, smiling, telling her of the magnificent job she did with the suit edging today, the line tight against the lapel. The Baron would be so pleased.

Then, there was a shout in the street, and the both of them looked up to the end of the road, where a fire had broken out in the baker’s building, ineffectual buckets of water being thrown at the flames.

Haruka was only eleven, but she had a sense of blind bravery within her that would follow her for all of her life, and she dashed to the end of the road, her father hot on her heels. She loved the baker and his wife, loved the bread they made, loved the way they saved a piece of the fruitcake for her at Christmas.

She could hear yelling from the second floor. Their children. So small, four and six, their mother screaming from the streets, being held back.

Haruka began to dash, but a firm hand threw her to the ground and surpassed her, dashing into the burning building, and Haruka could smell him one last time, the scent of hard work and cotton and silks.

She got to her feet as there were screams, and the cracking of the wood, and the house fell to the ground in an exhausted heap, the embers thrown into the sky like stars that foretold every ounce of Haruka’s misfortune.

And so we begin our story in a classic way, a princess in a tower, and a girl orphaned and friendless, both of them staring at the overwhelming enormity of the lives they have never chosen for themselves.

__

7 years later

Haruka had her gentle sides, and many of these sides revealed themselves when she was in the company of the small furred and feathered creatures of the world, but none of this gentleness or kindness for reserved for the hours of the breaking dawn, when the rooster crowed her from her pleasant dreams, which were not so grand as one might expect, but were generally limited to her having a small one room cottage of her own, where the fire was warm, and a woman called her sweetheart and kissed her face, and she sometimes had a donkey. She rather thought their ears charming.

With or without the donkey, the rooster was an unwelcome intrusion.

She sprung from her bed and flung wide the shutters of her bedroom, high and tucked away in a corner of the house to be forgotten.

“I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO THE BEST GODDAMN STEW!” She howled out the window, the sun peeking over the fair city. “I SWEAR!”

There was a caw, and her crow came to rest on the sill of her window. She called it her crow because it was certainly no one else’s, though she was never certain it would have respected her saying so. She picked a piece of dried meat off her dinner plate, as she did every morning, and laid it on the sill.

“Here you go, Blackie,” She leaned against the window now, as the rooster ignored her, “what did you see last night? Anything good?”

A squirrel chittered at her, and crawled onto the edge at her other side, waiting for its bit of bread.

“Blondie, you get so jealous!” She smiled and handed over the bit of bread.

They had been with her since she had been moved to the tiny room in the high corner, shortly after her father died, and if she ever thought it was odd for a squirrel and a crow to be so sociable or long-lived, she never put that thought into the air, perhaps fearing the world would agree with ehr and take her two little friends away.

She sighed heavily, staring over at the palace, brilliant in the early morning sun. Her father had told her one day she might be tailor to a queen or king, with how her talents were coming along. As hard as she still tried to work on her craft, it seemed a silly dream now.

“You you ever wonder what it’s like over there?” she stared faraway to the glowing palace.

They seemed to be ignoring her, playing tug of war over a tiny bit of corn Haruka had left, and she swatted at them.

“Stop it, you two! Get along!”

They both looked up at her, more annoyed by her than with any desire to stop.

She put her elbows down on the sill and stared across the town. “Imagine having no responsibilities, just…being able to do what you want, and everyone waiting on you, all the time. Imagine getting to sit in the nice, warm hall instead of the damn kitchen embers. Imagine everyone listening to you, all the time...”

From below, voices rang up the stairs.

“Cinderuka! Cinderuka! Where’s breakfast??”

She snorted. “I should ask my stepsisters how it feels. Must be nice.” She pushed off the sill and put on her pants, pulling her shirt over her head and slowly moving to the door. “I’d take just someone being nice to me for once.”

Blondie chittered at her in a reassuring way, and Blackie seemed to scold her in a caw, leading to the two of them arguing in their strange interspecies way.

“I know, I know,” She stretched, “I have you two. And the little mice in the kitchen.”

“Cinderuka!”

“Coming!” she shook her head and opened the door, shuffling down the stairs as the palace glowed brighter in the light of the morning, reflecting back on Haruka’s house that was no longer a home, illuminating the pumpkins in the garden below.

[draculaurennn]

#squad for jun, padrika and lucid

dfghjk u always ask me bless y wyoc ask meme . — jun, padrika, and lucid  #squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like? 

idk if this means are they friends w each other or friends w other ppl so ???? ill just break down both !!jun . —friends w padrika and lucid? probably not. lucid and jun have nothing in common, and lucid’s apprehension of literally anything electronic means jun would... do that weird, toxic association thing where she goes “that means you don’t like ME EITHER.” lucid’s really good and level, so i know she’d take that sort of accusation in stride, but they wouldn’t be friends at all. lucid also doesn’t have any interest in drama and childish attitudes, so she wouldn’t be willing to be around jun for very long. padrika’s more tolerable for jun, but she’s pretty, tan, thin, and athletic, and she may be dumber than a box of rocks, but i think jun would feel pretty threatened by her. which is hysterical tbh, bc their bi energy is off the charts and pad would probably actually adore jun. actual friends? jesse, lux, genji, & sombra. sombra was her first friend. they met in illegal circuits, and they bonded. sombra’s chaotic energy and tendency to play a double field means jun feels a weirdly genuine trust towards her. genji’s kind of the same for her; she has no real investment in him romantically, but he has her back at work, and that’s how he grew on her so quickly. lux is jun’s BEST friend. she didn’t like her for about half an hour, and then suddenly she was spilling her guts to her. lux makes jun feel safe, and liked, and she doesn’t ever feel like lux is lying to her. everything about her is genuine, and watching lux brighten up other ppls’ lives and take her problems in stride makes jun want to do the same. or at least try. jesse is her OTHER best friend, and love of her life. and she made it really hard for them, because he’s so damn genuine and easy going, that no matter how much she pushed against him in some weird, unkind test, he just took everything and gave her the respect she needed. he’s sunny, like lux, which is good, because jun is a gross little mushroom who really needs some sun in her life. squad dynamics! jun’s the shitty sister that doesn’t know when to quit being mean until someone’s feelings are hurt. she’s the one who tells people that no one gets to make jesse/lux/genji cry BUT her. her hot temper makes her quick to stand up for her friends, even if she’s also going to ream them verbally for being stupid. she can’t cook for you, she can’t really patch up an injury, and she wouldn’t really want to, anyway... but she’ll drag anyone’s carcass through the mud to get them out of a bad situation alive. her only mode of nice is mean, because she doesn’t seem to know how to be vulnerable, but she’ll literally die in battle for any one of them if it gets them out safe.  padrika . —friends w jun and lucid? padrika would likely be the “middle man” for these two. pad’s pretty chill; she has a short fuse, sometimes, but on a drama scale of one to ten (zero being no drama, ten being drama all the time), she’s like a 5. padrika’s sporty, but relaxed, stupid, but supportive and willing to learn. her valuable assets lie in her weird misdirection - she has no real goals, so nothing is too daunting to try once. she’d get along well with lucid because lucid would be the balance to reign her in; likewise, she’d always be willing to listen to whatever lucid had to say. she’d get along well with jun because jun’s technical skills are something padrika can admire, and padrika always has questions about anything. plus, they can horse around together.  actual friends? sera, ciri, jaskier, & geralt. sera is her closest friend. padrika considers a lot of people close, but sera is someone she can understand at a basic level. they’re monsters, after all, and no one lets them forget that. it means that every weird feeling padrika’s ever had, that she does and doesn’t know how to string together in a sentence, she knows she can tell to sera, and she hope’s it’s the same in return. sera’s life seems to have a lot more purpose and goal-orientation than padrika’s, so she’s fixated on helping the vampire find what she needs to know. ciri she adores about as much. she’s a person she can spar with, joke with, talk honestly with, get into trouble with... bully geralt with. it’s nice. it’s nice to feel like a person around someone. padrika didn’t really know what that was until sera and ciri. jaskier’s fucking trouble, and she loves that. his bardic nature works well with padrika’s innate need to sing, but his penchant for getting into trouble is not something she shares with him (anymore). still, he’s fun to horse around with and be noisy with. he’s never boring, so she’s never bored. padrika adores geralt. she doesn’t like to tell him; she’s no good at sentiments and she likes to tell him not to let things go to his head. but he’s strangely alone for a person so surrounded by love and support, and padrika doesn’t... get that. that wasn’t a thing she grew up with, so support is all she can really give him. even if she’s bad at it, and even if it’s just her standing around, or punching things. she knows she’s no beautiful, fabulous sorceress with destiny tied to her name. she also knows she’d wait forever from below the waters, if she had to. it’s not something she likes to think about, though. squad dynamics! padrika’s your drunk bi sorority sister who only joined because of liquor and scholarship money. she’s not responsible, calm, or smart enough to be your mom, but if you need bail money at 3am and to ask her not to tell mom, she’s your girl. padrika’s dedication is steadfast, and she knows she doesn’t bring much to the table, and she’s not really important like others, but she’ll give everything she possibly can. she’s hard to shake off, and she takes a lot of shit, even if sometimes she does lose her temper for it. her honesty is one of the only good things about her, though. she’s there, and she will be. lucid . —friends w jun and padrika? yes and no! there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that lucid would be able to handle jun’s attitude for more than a dose of minutes. lucid feels there’s a strong difference between sulking and being a baby (she should know), and people who only work to perseverate their misery and not try to be open or make anything better are people she just cannot work with. jun’s bratty, petty, and fabricates things people didn’t say; lucid has zero patience for that kind of attitude. she’d do well enough with padrika, though. she’s much less aggressive, but she doesn’t mind closing down a bar with someone, and she doesn’t mind talking miserable, magic binding curses.  actual friends? ria, vincent, tifa, & zack. her relationship with illyria is strange, because much like zack, it’s hinged on a motherly mindset first, and a friend mindset second. she’s protective and directive, and her first instinct is to nurture and correct before it is simply to just be a friend. it can make her answers redundant or scolding, at times, but it’s simply because she’s trying to keep everyone alive and in one piece. it takes a lot for her to put them back together. tifa’s easy and kind to speak to. they just sort of meshed, two mom friends bonding over... being mom friends. they can speak honestly and without embarassment, something lucid wasn’t used to (and sometimes still isn’t) outside of the bar and outside of three or four drinks. it’s also nice to have a friend who she knows she can speak too without meddling... they can just talk, and it’s nice to get problems out that way.lucid hated vincent when they first started working together. she thought he was rude and sulky, and that kind of attitude isn’t something she likes to be around. people who only choose to wallow... especially over one thing? it’s ridiculous, and a waste of energy. but, it turned out there were more layers than she expected there, and more similarities than differences. he’s the other side of her coin, her absolute everything, and she’d not let a day go by without him if she could avoid it. the only hard question is which one’s undying devotion is going to get which one killed for the other first. lucid likes to think that won’t happen. squad dynamics! lucid’s your kitchen witch wine mom. in the chaos of zack running headlong into fights, illyria blowing up for science, and vincent falling apart from the inside-out or outside-in (depending), lucid’s there to keep picking up the pieces with pieces of her. she’s sturdy, and she’ll listen to anything anyone has to say, but she won’t accept or tolerate useless, miserable behaviour, and she’ll let them know it. thankfully, liquor is always there to help her get through the madness and cool off. and if not liquor, then she has vincent, too. 

[minnamarie1983-blog]

Quotes for Friday July 28,2017

Ability quotes Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.--John Henry Newman Ability is of little account without opportunity.--Napoleon Bonaparte Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.--Lou Holtz Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.–-John Wooden Ability without honor is useless.--Marcus Tullius Cicero All of us are, to some extent, victims of what we are. We are not limited by our imaginations, but by our ability to do what we imagine. We are not too often limited by our abilities as much as by circumstances. And we are not as often limited by our circumstances as much as by the lack of the will to respond.--Dee Bowman (That's Life!) Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.--Norman Vincent Peale Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.--Lou Dorfsman Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.--Roy L. Smith Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.--John Wooden Every man is born with the ability to do something well. This is what the Lord intended him to do. Using that ability - what life is all about.--Gracie Allen ~~~~~~ Beauty quotes Beauty I have learned from the ugly, charity from the unkind, and peace from the turmoil of the world.--Frederick Ward Kates Beauty is at once the ultimate principle and the highest aim of art.--Goethe Beauty is at the heart of God, and the beauty that we see — and even create — is like the trailing wake from God's hand across the ocean of the universe. This is why, in attending to beauty, we become open to the mystery of God.--Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki Beauty is everywhere to he or she who would behold it. When God reigns supreme in the consciousness of man, the tiniest blade of grass speaks of God's beauty.--Frater Achad Beauty is God's handwriting.--Charles Kingsley Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.--Al Bernstein Beauty is no quality in things themselves: it exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.--David Hume ("Of the Standard of Taste" Four Dissertations) Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.--Khalil Gibran Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God.--Jean Anouilh (Becket) ~~~~~ Christianity quotes In a world full of people who couldn't care less, be someone who cares more. ~Author Unknown ~ Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. ~Maya Angelou~ Don’t let those who take advantage of your generosity stop you from being generous. ~Author Unknown ~ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.~Edmund Burke~ "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." - -John Wooden We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. ~Epictetus~ Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out. ~Frank A. Clark~ By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. ~Winston Churchill You cannot do a kindness too soon for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~ You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. ~John Wooden~ ~~~~~~ Encouragemennt quotes The pessimist borrows trouble; the optimists lend encouragement.--William Arthur Ward Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.--John C. Maxwell Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.--Eileen Caddy Shout praise, whisper blame. Sow encouragement, reap enthusiasm.--Michael Rawls Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.--Joann Thomas Taking an interest in what others are thinking and doing is often a much more powerful form of encouragement than praise.--Robert Martin That's what's wrong with the world--people don't compliment other people enough. They would change the world if they did.--Sister Gervase (in What is a Calling? by Novak) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kindness quotes kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life. Seneca Wherever there is a human being, there is a chance for a kindness. James M. Barrie Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves. Harold Kushner When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel. Barbara De Angelis Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. William Wordsworth That best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. George Sand Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. Cicero There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Zig Ziglar quotes Every choice you make has an end result. Don't become a wandering generality. Be a meaningful specific. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. Remember that failure is an event, not a person. People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner. It's not what you've got, it's what you use that makes a difference. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.