#I don't have npd but I support narcissists

[redtail-lol]

Also about npd: I used to watch psych2go and some of their videos about narcissists and one thing that makes p2g extra vile is that they acknowledge that pwNPD are suffering. They acknowledge that narcissists actually have struggles with their self esteem and rely on outside validation sometimes because they don't have a secure sense of self and can't feel like they're enough without being praised by outsiders. And yet they still vilify narcissists!! How can you acknowledge that narcissists do have a real disorder that causes distress to them but still treat them like they're just evil scary abusers?

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[a-sip-of-milo]

NPD Resources Masterlist

[BPD]

The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.

Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.

Diagnostic criteria

NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it

Official diagnostic criteria

An explanation of the diagnostic criteria

Recovery resources FOR the narcissist

NPD recovery resources

How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist

Narcissist supply

What is narc supply?

Things that can give a narcissist supply

NPD stigma

The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them

Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)

A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)

Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive

Debunking common myths on NPD

Common disproven myths about NPD

Miscellaneous

How to support someone with NPD

NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)

Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response

NPD terminology (do's and dont's)

NPD safe blogs

@empath-abuse-awareness

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@the-npd-culture-is

@nicepersondisorder

@theegosystem

@mischiefmanifold

NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking

Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead

Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever

Happy NPD appreciation day

Positivity for systems with NPD

Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love

NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)

Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful

Positivity for narcissists who like sex

I love my narcissists

Aromantic narcissists are amazing

Narcissists I love you

Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think &lt;;3)

Narcissists deserve to be loved

As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)

Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!

[nekropsii]

Aww. On one hand, I'm glad my words touched you. On the other, it makes me so deeply sad knowing even the smallest glance towards granting one basic human dignity is enough to drive one to tears. I wouldn't even call my words the bare minimum - I don't think that countering the common idea that a group isn't inherently abusive should be the bare minimum. The bare minimum should be casual respect, the same that's afforded to any other person. The bare minimum should be me not even needing to say any of this in the first place.

NPD is so heavily demonized, especially right now. There's wave after wave of people claiming "Narcissistic Abuse" is a valid term and viciously attacking anyone who breathes in the direction of contradiction, every single search adjacent to NPD results in almost nothing but article after article on, specifically, how to hurt people with NPD, or protect yourself against them... There's conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory posted online quite literally painting them as actual real demons, like, Demons, from The Bible, or linking them to the Jewish Reptilian conspiracy theory, and it's just completely and utterly gut-wrenching. Even in spaces that proclaim themselves as safe, or progressive, or bigotry-free, these unjustified, bigoted snap judgments occur. It's the worst.

NPD is not something that I have. I don't have any Cluster B Disorder, actually. But I'm sympathetic because they're all fucking human beings the world has decided is socially acceptable to turn into a Sinister Other, a Walking Otherworldly Threat, like this is a fucking fiction novel or a video game. I'm sick of it.

There's a few people in my immediate circles who have NPD. They're all good people. They're nice, they're funny, they have perspectives on things that I deeply value, they're smart, and I treasure their proximity so much. They've never done anything wrong, and certainly haven't done anything wrong purely on the basis of being some Evil, Conniving Super Villain. They're literally just hanging out, and I'm glad to know them. My life is better and more enriched having known these people. They have never wronged me, and I don't think they ever will. And even if they do, it would not be because they have NPD, it would be because they're a living being. As people, we all have the capability to harm others. Animals have the capability to harm other animals, too. Plants can harm you. This is not a trait unique to the Disordered.

Us people without NPD need to do better, to listen to our friends and siblings with NPD, to help boost them up so that we can help end this wretched fucking curse - or, at the very least, quell it. We need to help them speak louder, and amplify their cause with our vocal support. Ableism will never go away, but the least we can do is try to move towards making it not as socially acceptable to be bigoted. None of us need a Sinister Other to combat. This is not war, this is not the medieval times. We do not need this. We do not need to beat a persecution complex into ourselves to excuse persecuting others. We do not need to live in constant fear of the idea of the line cook who just wants to go home and play Dark Souls, or the office worker passing the time by thinking about their 3 cats, or the high schooler at home reading their favorite shoujo manga, or the guitarist driving home tapping their fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the radio. These are not your enemies. They are people going about their lives. They've literally never hurt you. Stop projecting your fear of abuse onto strangers - onto minorities.

My message to people without NPD is to fucking check yourself if you believe in Narcissistic Abuse, or automatically assume that people with NPD are up to something. Especially right now, that is a very, very vile, dehumanizing form of absolutely rampant ableism that we needed to take extreme steps to mitigate fucking months ago. Years, even. The best time to shoot this bigotry and burn it's corpse was the moment it started rising. The second best time is Now. Interrogate yourself. Realize that people with NPD are literally just human beings. Stop being awful to your fellow person. The way people think and speak about people with NPD is just absolutely disgusting, and everyone needs to apologize to them right now.

My message to people with NPD is simple: You deserve one billion dollars for having to put up with all of this shit. It's actually deranged. Trust me, there are others out there that think this is horseshit. You are not alone.

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[npdmonoma]

No amount of rational arguments are going to sway narcissistic abuse believers, because their beliefs aren't logical to begin with. They're emotional. Their abuse wasn't taken seriously, they weren't protected, they weren't treated with kindness, and that's devastating. I won't downplay that, because I know exactly what it feels like and it's torture.

But they're still wrong, and that matters.

To them, belief in narcissistic abuse serves two functions. The first is that it legitimizes their pain. If they can position their abuser as somehow worse than "normal" abusers, they can garner more sympathy. It's an understandable impulse, and one that I ironically heavily relate to as a narcissist. But I also know that just because something feels good to me emotionally, that doesn't necessarily mean it's okay for me to do. If I have to hurt others, then I need to find another way to get that validation. This is literally a skill I'm learning to cope with my NPD.

The second function it serves is to give them a sense of safety. If all the Bad People are easily identified by a checklist of narcissistic traits, then they can easily spot any potential abuser and escape further abuse. But it doesn't really work like that. Not only do they end up targeting a ton of people who aren't abusers, they also leave themselves open to abuse from people who don't fit their idea of narcissism. It's a lose/lose situation.

Ultimately, the emotional needs underlying the belief in narcissistic abuse need to be addressed so these people can get rid of these toxic beliefs and become better people. They need to do a lot of work on themselves, but they also need support systems that can give them the validation and comfort and safety they crave without having to hurt others to get it. If that sounds familiar, it should. It's the kinder version of what everyone keeps demanding from us narcissists.

If you're a narcissistic abuse believer and you've read this far, this post probably didn't make you feel very good. Maybe it made you angry, or made you doubt yourself, or even triggered you. If that's the case, you probably aren't ready to listen to me right now. That's fine, I get it. But once you've calmed down, you won't have any more excuses. Come back and read it again. Think about it. Internalize it. And then you need to fix your shit, because I can't do it for you

[alexandraisyes]

This is a flag I found for ASPD. There's an entire archive of support flags for people with different kinds of Cluster B Disorders. I just really like this version.

Antisocial Personality Disorder can be disabling and is considered a social disability. Depending on the psychologist it’s also considered an emotional disability like ADHD or Bipolar.

This may not make sense at a glance, but there’s psychologically found logic behind this.

People with ASPD have severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Chronic Depressive Disorder, and General Anxiety Disorder GAD).

The disorder also tends to be comorbid with Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DDD), as well as some psychotic disorders like Brief Psychosis Disorder and Schizophrenia. although these last two aren't as common.

There's also a chance for people with ASPD to have overlapping traits from other Cluster-B Disorders (NPD, BPD, HPD). And many people with ASPD struggle with impulse disorders. Common impulse disorders related to ASPD are as follows:

Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED): Characterized by recurrent outbursts of verbal or physical aggression that are disproportionate to the provocation.

Kleptomania: A recurrent urge to steal items that are not needed for personal use or for their monetary value.

Pyromania: An impulse control disorder characterized by recurrent and deliberate fire-setting behavior.

Pathological Gambling: Persistent and recurrent problematic gambling behavior that leads to significant distress or impairment.

Trichotillomania (Hair-Pulling Disorder): An irresistible urge to pull out one's own hair, resulting in noticeable hair loss.

Many people with ASPD also struggle with addiction and may be fighting addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, binge eating, and social media because these are quick endorphin fixes that help us feel something due to the inherent nature of ASPD to be numb almost 24/7.

It's extremely rare for someone with ASPD to get disability aid. Which probably sounds ridiculous, when you look at this massive list of issues. A large part of it is our society. People tend to see someone who has a label that is synonymous with Sociopath and Psychopath (there's a difference between the two) and immediately want them in jail. And it doesn't matter how long they've known that person, or what their relationship is. (I got dumped last year when my ex found out I have ASPD and almost disowned during Christmas when I told my dad. The only reason I haven't been being that he thinks it's a demonic issue that can be "cured with prayer".)

On top of that, our psychology system isn't built to handle someone with a personality disorder like ASPD (or even NPD). I get told a lot "You're really self-aware." Which is basically them saying they aren't going to help you. Of course I'm self-aware if I'm going into the therapist's office for advice (at the least) and actual help (would be great), but I get turned away because if I'm "self-aware", so I should be able to figure it out. This isn't an issue that pertains directly to ASPD, it's also one that affects every disorder that's hard for a neurotypical to understand.

This is more personal. Feel free to read this in a mildly irritated, but not very much, tone of voice. Preferably a tired scholar from Skyrim, that'll make my day.

I cannot function in today's society. I can't hold down a job, and I've tried time and time again. I get a few months in and I hit a wall and my mental health goes to shit. I had to quit my last job for my physical safety because I got bored with just life in general, to the point I was seriously considering sticking my arm in a fry vat.

I haven't even managed to get a proper diagnosis because I don't have health insurance, and I have so many false disorders on my medical diagnosis sheet from my narcissistic father bullying my long-term therapist into giving me damn near every disorder except for ADHD and Conduct Disorder (I was below the age of 18, but it would have helped me in the here and now with securing the diagnosis I need for medical reasons.) Growing up several doctors I worked with wanted to get me set up for an ASPD diagnosis and my father told them no. And because of where I lived I had no say in it, and even if I did my father was abusive, so goodbye to ever speaking up for myself.

On top of that, I'm a woman. There's a severe gender bias in ASPD, as well as the fact that women with ASPD are reportedly less likely to be physically aggressive and more likely to be mentally aggressive, so our symptoms show up slightly differently than the stereotype. And don't even get me started on the stereotypes. Plus women are more likely to be studied for comorbid disorders than psychologists even considering ASPD. This is the same shit autistic women struggled with.

There's a massive underreporting in the female ASPD populace because of this, and a lot more masking going on because everything gets chalked up to "she's just a bitch" or "hormones". There's also just not enough research done on females with ASPD to understand how it may be different from a male with ASPD.

I'm tired. I've been fighting for a year to get people to recognize me as an individual who deals with ASPD. Every time I run into threats of being abandoned (which is horrible, considering I was abused and then abandoned by my biological mom, then put in foster care for the next 4 years), or the road block of "You're a woman. Are you sure you don't have BPD? That's the female disorder." Or just getting tired of the uphill slope. I only have so much stamina, and sure I have a lot of spite for the world, but eventually that's going to run out too. And then I'll probably kill myself.

The suicide rate in general is less than 2%.

The suicide rate for people with ASPD is 23%.

[compassionatereminders]

what do u think of terms like "narcissistic abuse" ?

I don't support using terminology that demonizes certain mental illnesses. NPD is a mental illness, not a vague label for Bad People/Abusers. And it often develops as a RESPONSE to trauma. So when people are implying that all abusers have NPD, or that their ex MUST have NPD since they were abusive, the people who they are actually hurting with that statement are other traumatized mentally ill people. I think everyone gets to hate their abusers and talk about their abuse, but the term "narcissistic abuse" doesn't actually cover anything which is exclusively done by abusers with NPD. So you can and should call out your abuser without armchair diagnosing them.

[the-crystal-femmes]

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Last edited 12/05/24 by Host

DNI:

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We are a traumagenic median system who are researching Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder. Our host is Spinel (who is nomi/namefluid), and you're most likely to see her than anyone else. Our frequent fronters besides that are Ula/Garnet and Pearl. The others technically front by layering (link) but we prefer the term front.

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[avpd-polls]

a blog for polls for people with AvPD or AvPD traits. anyone may submit a poll but only people with AvPD or AvPD traits may answer.

inspired by @npd-polls @szpd-polls and @bpd-polls

polls are limited to 12 options and 80 characters per option. if a submitted poll includes an option for those without AvPD it will be omitted. i would prefer if submissions did not include a "see results" option, you can wait for the poll to end to see the results if it doesn't apply to you. "see results" options sometimes heavily skew the results and i don't want to have a poll where most of the answers are just people who want to see the results.

this blog supports people with any and all PDs, including cluster B PDs. asks that contain wording such as "narcissistic abuse" or that otherwise demonize any disorders will be deleted. asks misusing words like "narcissist", "delusional", "sociopath", etc. will also be deleted.

i reserve the right to reword given options to be more inclusive of queer people, including but not limited to polyam, aro, and ace folks.

polls are posted on a queue, with 2 being posted per day.

update: this blog is on hiatus until january 1st 2025!

[bibibbon]

if we're talking personality disorders (of the cluster b variety). obvi its not 1=1 but its far more likely and reasonable to say toga has bpd (with izuku or ochako being her "favorite person") than aspd. also when people call villains (or characters they don't like (← seen this one more than the first tbh)) "unsympathetic psychopaths", it really feels like they know nothing about aspd, personality disorders, and how they form. It also just feels kind of ableist towards real people with aspd? idk maybe i'm seeing things that's aren't there

These people know that aspd (and other personality disorders) form due to outside factors right? obvi there's the genetic factors but that just increases the possibility. these outside factors typically tends to be factors that is in some way traumatic for the person in question like emotional/mental abuse or neglect (*gestures to dabi*)

if anything, based off of that alone, toga being a "psychopath" just makes her more sympathetic in my eyes and people around her even more unsympathetic than they already are and I doubt anyone calling her a "psychopath" without aspd in mind wants that

.

.

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this is also how i feel about people needless throwing around the word "narcissistic"* when it comes describing bakugo. (saying this as someone isn't a fan of him). bakugo with npd** could make him a more interesting if written correctly*** tbh and could probably be backed up in canon but in turn it would force people to seriously think and question if he actually had a good childhood and good parents… which from what i've seen alot of anti-bakugo people (including the ones that call him a "narcissistic") believe he has

*i'm sure there's bakugo stans out there call him "narcissistic" without npd in mind but atm i've only seen bakugo antis do that

**same with aspd

***without portraying bakugo as an ableist stereotype and/or excusing his actions

.

sorry abt the rant i'm just tired of the demonization surrounding personality disorders

You're definitely correct anon in saying that people tend to use words they either don't know the full meaning of or just mental health issues to demonise characters they don't like and this is a problem within all fandoms I have interacted with not only MHA.

When people use the words "psychopath" or "narcissist" it's rare to see them using it in the right context as most of the time it's used to demonise a character. For example take atla I have seen plenty of people label azula a psychopath but they do that to demonise and dehumanise her not to actually say that she is mentally ill. The same thing is done with characters like toga, Dabi, shigaraki and more!

Now I know that you're mainly quoting of the ask that @sapphic-agent sent me and actually she has made it clear that she doesn't view toga as psychopath and actually brought light to the issue of people dehumanising and purposefully misinterpreting the leauge. Now I don't know much about aspd in general but from what I have seen toga does seem to have some symptoms of aspd but it also makes sense to speculate that she may have BPD (none of this is cannonically confirmed but they would make for some interesting headcanons). Also like you mentioned it would be incredibly interesting to explore how toga got to such a mental state in the first place as mental health issues can happen to a variety of reasons for example or could be an environmental or social issue as we see that toga wasn't given the right support at home and was taught to simply build a mask and burry her urges deep down until it all broke and she broke, toga associated blood and cannibalism with love and self expression from early on. Also, it could be a biological factor since toga was born with a strong fascination for blood.

Overall, toga and her mental state is heavily influenced from all of those factors and it would be interesting if she was cannoncially diagnosed and had that be explored in depth.

However, mha does already have a character who is heavily implied to be mentally ill which is twice. Twice is heavily implied within the show to suffer from DID (dissociative identity disorder) and I think the way horikoshi presents this is really interesting it's to the point that it's incredibly integral to twice's character whether that be his name or what his quirk is.

We see exactly how his mental state worsens in his backstory and how he has reached his breaking point multiple times. Twice is also presented as the most redeemable of the leauge and we see that even with that the system doesn't care for him as twice mercilessly kills him even though he had a high and good chance of being saved and redeemed.

I do wish that hori spent a bit more time delving deeper into twice and developing him before killing him off while also making his death have a long lasting impact between characters (specifically the league)

I think what's interesting is that hori doesn't demonise jin for his mental issues but addresses them in a serious manner and a lot of the scenes where we do see him struggling we are able to feel a lot of sympathy for him.

This ends up being the exact opposite of what people usually do by demonising mental health and using it to dehumanise characters. Horikoshi uses it to humanise his characters whether that be twice who struggles with DID or tamaki who struggles with social anxiety. These issues are brought to light and aren't a one time thing but it's something that's integral to their character.

Now, moving onto my final comment : yep it's bakugo!

I admit that I have seen many bakugo antis and critiques label bakugo as a narcissist. I also believe that they don't inherently speak of the mental disorder when labeling him in such a way but use the word in exchange of other terms for bakugo like self 'absorbed' or 'selfish' or 'only cares for himself' etc.

Now, I agree this is bad and shouldn't be done. I do however want to offer my own view on this subject (iam also a big bakugo critic/anti) I personally don't think that bakugo suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder and I don't think that mitsuki is abusive towards her son.

I think that the scene with mitsuki hitting bakugo was played in a comedic light. This is the only scene we see mitsuki act aggressive towards bakugo in the whole manga while in the other scene she expresses concern over her son (for example katsuki doesn't like rain etc). I think @delawaredetroit post surrounding this has the best explanation

I also want to add the fact that bakugo feels comfortable enough to sit next his mother. He is right in between his parents (he could of sat away from her closer to his father if he wanted to but he didnt). Bakugo also feels comfortable enough to express himself in such a manner whether that be him calling his mother "hag" or also shouting at her when he is equally pissed off.

I do think that because the manga had already made it clear that abuse was a theme that was in the story and gave us an example of abuse (the todoroki family) that many did raise their heads at this scene and may of been concerned that this is abuse when it's not but its hard to spot since it's being presented in such a weird manner.

You do have a point bakugo's behaviour comes from somewhere and that's not talked about enough. I personally think that horikoshi didn't explore how society influenced bakugo's behaviour and his raging quirkless discrimation (maybe it's because hori didn't want to paint bakugo in such a bad light so he didn't make him prejudiced against the quirkless and didn't explore the theme of quirkless discirmation that he implemented into the story). There is also the superiority and inferiority complexes that bakugo seems to have that could be a result of a mixture of factors (biological, social and environmental) Now his brash behaviour could come biologically from his mother and it turned worse due to his environment where he was built up to be this guy who had everything so he should be happy as he fits into the status quo.

Tldr: mental health shouldn't be used as an excuse but it also shouldn't be used to demonise characters either.

[redtail-lol]

Idk how people will be anti self dx and then call sb a narcissist like so I can't diagnose myself based on my lived experiences and research because I don't have the qualifications to diagnose others but you who also doesn't have that qualification can diagnose people with a disorder you probably barely know about?

This post is not about being concerned and telling someone you know personally that they should look into something to see if that might be the case, that's a suggestion. This post is talking about people who are making videos on YouTubers who get exposed and calling them narcissists like... You don't even know them. Besides they usually won't even show signs of NPD, they'll just be manipulative and maybe have a pretty big ego and sense of self importance but none of the other signs, like an unstable sense of self, need to be praised, or a genuine lack of empathy* are present. And that's only to name a few symptoms, others also rarely appear when these YouTubers get called narcissists for being bad people. A narcissist is not the same as being a bad person, you can't call everyone you don't like a narcissist. Despite the people I'm specifically referring to, this post can also be about anyone calling somebody, even someone they know, a narcissist without having a single clue how the person thinks or what narcissism even is.

*A lack of empathy is not the same as not caring about others. Empathy is the ability to understand how others feel, and to feel with them. A lack of empathy is not a lack of compassion. It does not mean you don't care about others. It means you can't really understand how others feel. You can't read their feelings and you don't feel a certain way just because they feel a certain way. People who don't have empathy can still care about others and people who have empathy don't necessarily care about the feelings of other people. Being able to understand the feelings of others doesn't necessarily mean you give a shit about the way they feel, and you may even find delight in someone being upset if you wanted them to hurt.

[kindnessoverperfection]

I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Personally, I don't think Harry has gone for the spouse visa/green card route yet. Simply because his entitlement, and Meghan's entitlement, about his royal status would not allow them to show Harry as being dependent on Meghan in any way

They would both, much rather prefer to lord it over people, family, governments (both UK and US) that he is royal, the kings son (late queens grandson) and hence very very imp in his own right.

Also, the paperwork and forethought required to submit a greencard application means that both harry and meghan would need to do a lot of work - fill out applications, gather documents, aquire and submit bank data, proof of dates, proof of financials, taxation etc - all of which they are both incapable of doing. Not to mention that their narcissistic discordered tendencies would make them think this is below them.

(I know we can't actually diagnose them, but this is Tumblr, not CNN, and as a psychologist I know that filling out paperwork is the absolutebane of an NPD persons existence. These little quirks of the NPD are not talked about much but they are nearly universally observed.)

Another issue would be hiring an immigration lawyer for the spouse visa. The expenses and the process of actively listening to what the lawyers says is required procedure would put HnM on the backfoot and hate the process.

I have assumed that Harry is either on -

1). A1 Visa - diplomatic/head of state/official representative of a country

Or

2). O1 Visa - specialized skilled worker/Einstein visa given to artists, actors, models, investors in specialized fields, highly skilled academicians, persons contracted by a sponcer for a special skill etc

Now, there is some evidence to support both these. So I'll list those reasons and my conclusions from those below.

Option 1.- A1 visa

Harry moved to US in March 2020, just before pandemic. Most people focus on this, but forget that when the couple moved they both were still, officially, Full Time working royals for the BRF and embarking on the 1 year trial period to see how things pan out for them. This trial period lasted till March 2021, upon the conclusion of which the BRF promptly officially announced there demotions. So, they were working royals when they moved to US, albeit on a leave of absence.

So, what does that mean? That his (and her) diplomatic status was still intact. They did their last royal engagement for the UK in mar 2020, but they hadn't retired. Hadn't resigned. His royal patronages, commonwealth role etc were only taken back in 2021. Both parties had agreed to a separation period till then.

Another factor is that they had already asked Canada to provide him (them) with full time security, ie., treat him like a full fledged royal. But Canada said only till March 2020, and not after that. Trudeau actually released a statement about this.

So this tells me that they (may have). actually asked for full time royal treatment ie., security and diplomatic status for the trial period lasting upto March 2021 and were told no.

(I think that's what Harry means when he says the BRF took away his security, I thiy he means that the BRF pricipals personally prevailed upon Trudeau and made him refuse security)

So Harry's only option was to take his fancy diplomatic status passport, hope on a private jet and fly to LA without telling anyone.

People think this was because the lockdowns were imminent. But I think it was also timed in a way that they were out of Canada before the promised security period expired.

After this, during pandemic, Harry consistently did nonsensical "commonwealth" related zoom calls. Till the president/head/chairperson of the CW youth org (I forgot who exactly but one of main people of the org) publicly distanced themselves in late 2020.

Another thing that was odd was that Trump official said he will not be giving the couple security. Which means that his govt was asked, maybe repeatedly asked and Harry made his case, till the time Trump had to release a statement saying he won't. Makes me think, Harry made his case using his A1 status. Because otherwise, if he was there as a private citizen, this request was absurd and the govt would dismissed this without a second thought. But if they had permitted someone to enter based on their A1 status as representative of a head of state, they had weigh the pros and cons of this request and it could have caused a potential diplomatic incidence. So the president himself had to be face of this decision.

(this is irrespective of anyones thoughts about who the president was, or what kind of person the president may or may not have been. This was an executive decision)

So,

All this leads me to speculate that Harry initially, and until end of 2021 at least, made use of his status as a representative of the head of status, which he already officially had, and was on paper, to enter the US.

The duration of permit of this initial stay could have been 2 or 3 years. So, 2022. Or 2023, when curiosly, Heritage Foundation suddenly took interest in the status of his visa.

Option 2 - O-Visa

This is a bit funny and farfetched, but I think Harry could also have entered on his British passport, which allows a stay upto 6 months (tourist visa). And then applied for O- Visa status a couple of months later.

By June 2020 Harry had forged some sort of investment+partnership with Betterup. This likely involved an initial investment into the company. For enterpreneurs and/investors into a US based company, a minimum investment of 250k or 500k is required to be shown. If he did this, then Betterup could have easily sponcered his application and he could used his very imp, very skilled, very unique position as CHIMPO as a means to get a visa.

A lawyer and the company could have helped him. Plus his high profile status due to his work as a philanthropists, patron of various international organisations etc would definitely be an asset as it is proof and documentation of his years of work.

We may laugh and debate about the "quality" of his work all his life but when it comes to govt paperwork, this is still documented proof. And it's verifiable. So, noone is going to get into the nitty gritty of it, and getting a stamp is easy for him.

Another avenue could have been that he was immediately listed as a high in demand, much sought after international speaker or much renown. He did a couple of onscure, forgettable speaker gigs. But that's all he would need for proof.

He was also listed as the executive producer for oprahs documentary, he was earning his producer certification and the Apple documentary was under production.based on that, he could have applied for an O-visa and it would have been approved.

The duration of stay for O-visa status is 3 years at a time, after which you have to apply again for the visa. It is not eligible for renewal. All paperwork and applications have to be submitted again and will be scrutinized as new.

Let's assume he applied 2/3 months after initial entry, so that's June. His application would have been approved by July end Aug latest. (this is based on my personal experience with the same visa, in this the same time period).

With COVID restrictions, he gets approved but doesn't have to immediately go back to his home country to get it stamped at immigration. I got mine stamped end of 2021 from my country. Till then I stayed in US and worked. So he could have stamped his in April 2021 when he went back for his grandfather's funeral.

If he got his O-visa in 2020, then it would expire in 2023. This is the time heritage foundation started creating a fuss about his visa.

Now, with all of that, an important question we need to ask is- why did the heritage foundation start their crusade in 2023?

This could be because Harry's first visa stay (likely) expired in 2023 and he reapplied for a visa. And was (most likely) approved for the same type of visa again. This process would have gone quite smoothly with Harry's pull. But this second time it is quite clear that he got special treatment. And the heritage foundation wants to expose this special treatment.

Orr more likely, someone in the know tipped them off, and wants this exposed for whatever reason. I DO NOT think the BRf want this exposed, I don't think they care.

I do think someone in the US govt or maybe even a journalist wants to make a big deal out of this. And rightly so.

Anyway, that's my dissertation on Harry's visa. I don't think it matters to anyone outside of Tumblr, but I do feel his entitlement is mind-boggling and he should be held accountable for the person that he is. And if this visa issue is what does it, then so be it.

It is based on my personal experience with these 2 types of visas. And my theoretical and observed knowledge about how entitlement is one of the driving forces for most classical NODs. But the reality for him may be different. And you Rumour, being a fed, would probably know more and know better.

*********

I agree with you. I’ve been reading up about the visa issues (and also spoke to a few other fed friends).

I think Harry is here on an O-1 visa, for extraordinary/outstanding talent. Meghan doesn’t seem invested enough into the marriage to be willing to do the paperwork so if he’s here on a spousal visa, a lawyer would’ve done the paperwork. Additionally, I can see the financial requirements being a major concern for the BRF; the BRF goes to a great length to protect their financial information from other countries and the general public. They’re not going to let the US (no matter how special the relationship) take a peek at their books. So I suspect they squashed the idea of a spousal visa unless it was done *exclusively* on Meghan’s own savings/net worth. Which she balked at doing because it implies she’s financially responsible for Harry and that’s not what she signed up. She signed up to spend Charles’s money. Not her own. So that’s off the table.

Next is the diplomatic visa. Harry doesn’t actually have a diplomatic passport. He has a regular passport. He may have had a second passport for work that he traveled on UK business for, but he never had diplomatic status in the BRF; only The Queen and Charles did.

And that’s something government officials are really strict about, that people travel on official business use official papers. Officials traveling on personal business use personal papers. Or, that’s how it works here in the US. Not sure about the UK.

Now for Harry to have come to the US on a diplomatic passport for a diplomatic visa, he would have had to present his credentials for being here, and those credentials would have explained clearly and succinctly what he was in the US for and what official business he had with us. They would’ve looked into it.

So I don’t think he’s here on a A/diplomatic visa. Or perhaps not anymore, when it was made clear following the one-year Megxit review that he no longer represents the UK or works on behalf of The Queen/BRF.

Which leaves the O visa, for talent. But I don’t think it’s Better Up. I think it’s Invictus Games. Not only would it explain why they still stick with Harry despite all the expenses and criticism they cost the Foundation. And that’s what Harry is known for, outside of the BRF - his military support and support for veterans. It would also explain why Harry continues to try so hard to collaborate with the US military and warfighter community. Because he needs the military to support his visa.

Maybe it’s transferred to Better Up now since he seems to do more work for them.

As to why the government is trying so hard to keep his visa papers buried? I think they know we know Harry isn’t qualified to be here on a diplomatic or an O visa, so the BRF greased the wheels a bit in some way, shape, or form to help him get through the system.

But also if he’s here on a O-1 visa connected to Invictus Games, it could imply government or DOD support; if not DOD directly, then close partners or contractors…aka military lobbyists.

So that’s where I am right now.

And fingers crossed this gets posted in full. 🤞

[nthspecialll]

Cracks open an oyster shell to reveal a slimy half baked fetus esque Dutch van def linde inside

Do you think this sick little freak of nature is neurodivergent… or has any other disorders.. npd… bpd… etc… (no pressure to like. Actually diagnose or anything I��m assuming you aren’t a licensed psychologist, more for character analysis. Thank you so much, love your work!)

Oh he definately has something but yes I am not a psychologist and my experience with ND is limited to autism, ADHD, OCD and dyslexia because those are my family heirlooms, thus I would not feel comfortable diagnosing him but what I can do is present what fits and what does not fit about the most common diagnosises that people put on him as well as pointing out things others with more experience with these diagnosises says.

NPD- Narcissism

Dutch believes himself to be superior to others, which is very visible in many different ways, like his tent being the most luxurious to not allowing Molly, his girl to work. Which is also a big part of his entitlement, he expects others to look up to him, he expects people to treat him well, to cater his every need, and he gets angry when people doesn't.

He lives on admiration, which can be why he leans so heavily over to Micah late game when everyone else pulls their attention away from him, causing him to get angry. This time he is also very unable to handle any critisism thrown his way, reacting aggressively to it rather than listening.

One of the most obvious signs that makes people think narcissism is his willingness to exploit other, from the gang memebers to the native americans, using everything to his own advandage. He even says it himself, he is helping the natives because it helps him.

He created that friendship with Eagle Flies beacuse it boosted his confidence and his image, he lived in Micah's friendship because it fed his confidence and his image.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy and he does state in a camp event with Susan and Arthur "did you hear that Arthur? I am meant to consider feelings now!" and he is also quite arrogant, talking down to Arthur when he tries to come up with a plan in chapter 6.

Now, that said, narcissists cannot form meaning bonds which Dutch has done several times, for example with Hosea and with The Count. They are actually known for being terrible animal owners and are known for being able to fake friendships for a short amount of time while using others, not for thirty years.

Narcissits are also prone to bragging, which we do not hear Dutch nor does he belittle other people's achievements, and while he can seem like he doesn't show feelings and empathy, he does. He is genuiently sorry when Arthur gets kidnapped by O'Driscolls, he is sad when Hosea dies, he listens to John when Jack is kidnapped.

I also would not say he is fishing for compliments, which they are known for, there are also requirements for narcisissm which we don't have enough information on, such as fragile ego and requent self-doubt.

Bipolar

Dutch in the beginning of rdr2 is a very regular dude, he has signs but he seems okay, but as time goes on, especially in chapter 4-6 we see him go up into something that can look like mania.

He does not sleep, he can work without rest. He is easily irritated, his self-esteem is through the roog and he is impulsive. He constantly obesses, he leans over to people who feeds his ego, he is paranoid and he has a lot of grandiosity.

In the first couple of chapters it does also seem like we have some episodes. After settling in Horseshoe Dutch says sorry to Hosea about Blackwater, that he made a fool of himself and doesn't know what happened, similarly with after Arthurs kidnapping.

But then we come to chapter 5-6. What does not fit here however is the fact we don't see a crash, mania cannot go on forever and yet through the months of chap 5-6 there is no crash, he does not return to his regular state. We also see the same things in rdr1, again, no crash and it has been years.

"That said, I've yet to see his crash. The mania, which separates bipolar from major depression, can't just go on forever." which was wisely said by a player diagnosed with bipolar.

Borderline personality disorder

Dutch has a very strong fear of being abanonded, he does not like others leaving him, thus he is willing to leave them first, such as leaving John in jail before allowing him to get out and leave him.

He has a lot of paranoia and looses touch with reality, such as the situation in which he is standing, but also randomly yelling out or talking to himself in chapter 6, similarly he is prone to impulsiveness, doing things that aren't exactly thought through which ends people being harmed.

While he doesn't make threats of self-harm, he did die by suicide, though I would say it was more a powerplay than a fear of abandonment.

He is quickly angered, especially in the later chapters and acts out violently throughout the story

Now we have some other "critiria" like wide moodwings and "Quick changes in how you see yourself," I saw a redditor say this: "Although Dutch sees himself as an anarchistic Robin Hood-type hero during RDR2, he's clearly conflicted by RDR1, presenting himself as both a freedom fighter and a savage who can't fight his own violent nature." And while that is true, it does not fit the critira. It is not a quick change going back and forth but rather a steady but stable decline to that. A lot of people forget that it isn't just a change, but a back and forth we need for this diagnosis, and to me it is more that he is, as said, steadily moving, when he has reached one level of "madness" he doesn't go back.

Then we have a few critera I don't think fits, like unstable relationships, he has a lot of longer, fairly stable relationships such as with Hosea and Arthur and John, those were stable for 30 years before falling apart at the end. Again we are missing the movement back and forth.

End Note

As said, I am not a psycologist and if anything is worded wrongly in a way that may seem offensive, I appologice and please let me know.

[defiantsuggestions]

I can't be a part of a support group without fear that most of the people in that group are going to be violently ableist toward folks with NPD.

I can't feel community with other traumatized people without the knowledge that, at any moment, I'm going to find out that one of them has been sending death threats to someone for the crime of having an NPD diagnosis.

I can't...trust, a lot of the people, who've been through the same things as me, for fear that they want to wipe out an entire group of people.

The sheer hate that I keep smacking my head into when I look for people who are like me.

Hate for people who haven't done anything wrong, who are merely trying to exist and live out their life.

These same people who will instantly turn on me and try to rip me apart when I say, "hey, maybe we shouldn't be assholes to people for no reason."

I feel like half the survivor community has decided that their abuser must be a narcissist, and therefore every narcissist is an abuser, so therefore it's okay to lash out and threaten and hurt random strangers. They can't hurt their abuser, so they hurt innocent folks they don't even know, and they think it's okay to do that because "it's fine, this person has the abuser disease, so it's okay if I harrass them for no reason."

I don't trust my own community.

I hate that people are like this.

I'm not looking for support because I want to hurt people who haven't done a thing to me.

That's not the point of this. I'm looking to recover, because I don't want to be miserable. I want to help and be helped, because we should support each other.

But over and over I keep running into people who think NPD folks are something less than human.

And I don't want to be a part of that.