#I don’t know if I have anything to add on
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
( する ) : ETERNAL SUNSHINE ⟡ ASKING FOR ANOTHER KISS
── 𝗔𝗟𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗟𝗬 ⸝⸝ 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌
✶ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈 : enhypen + fem!r 1OOOwc ⟡ fluff oneshots headcanons ࿁ them being bad down for you, skinship, petnames. && 【 VOGUE 】
다니 : hehe i love bad down enhypen.. it always make me giggle TT
𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚 “please, baby,” he whines, his voice barely above a whisper, fingers tugging gently at the hem of your sweater like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. his big, doe-like eyes—those bambi eyes—are locked onto yours, wide and glossy with desperation, as if the world might end if you don’t give in. “just one kiss. one, yeah? promise i won’t ask for more.” but he’s lying—you know he is—because his gaze keeps flickering to your lips, and the way his hand slips to your waist betrays him completely. “you’re so mean,” he murmurs, his lips curling into the softest pout. “how can you look this pretty and still torture me like this? c’mon, angel. please, love, just one. i'll do anything,” the second your lips brush his, he melts—actually melts. his grip on your waist tightens, and a muffled, satisfied hum escapes him.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚 “angel, just one kiss,” jay pleads, his voice soft, eyes shimmering as he pushes a pile of shopping bags toward you. “here, all the dresses you glanced at when we went on our mall trip. i’ve been saving them for you.” you blink at the heap—every color, every fabric, exactly what you admired or some that you just glanced at for a split second. “baby, you didn’t have to get all this… just for one kiss,” you murmur. he leans closer, a teasing grin tugging at his lips. “but i’d do anything for you, you know that.” you don’t know if he’s trying to spoil you or if he just really wanted a kiss from you. with a small laugh, you lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips. jay beams, smug but smitten, as if he’s won the world.
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡 jake’s arm is draped lazily over your waist as he pulls you closer, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your back. the quiet hum of the tv fills the room, but he’s barely paying attention, his focus entirely on you. “you’re comfy,” he mumbles. he adds, “i think i like this spot.” you glance at him, and he’s already looking at you, a tiny smirk playing on his lips. before you can ask what he means, he leans in, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss. he pulls back just enough to see your wide-eyed expression, his grin growing as he teases, “what? you looked like you wanted one.”
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡 sunghoon’s sitting across from you, chin propped on his hand, nodding occasionally as you ramble on about your day. at first, you think he’s being attentive, but something feels off, his responses short and quiet. when you finally glance at him, he’s not even meeting your eyes. his gaze is fixed on your lips, unwavering and far too obvious to ignore. your words falter, and the room falls silent, but he doesn’t look away. “were you even listening to me?” you ask, crossing your arms. he blinks, finally dragging his eyes back up to yours, but there’s no apology in them. you sigh, leaning forward, and he meets you halfway, his lips brushing yours like he’s been waiting forever. when he pulls back, his smirk says it all: it was worth the wait.
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢 sunoo sits beside you, arms crossed and lips slightly pursed, clearly unimpressed by how long you’re making him wait. “just give me a kiss already,” he says, no hesitation, his voice laced with playful impatience. you bite back a grin, deciding to tease him, because how could you not? “hmm, where do you want it? the cheek? the nose-” you ask. his eyes narrow, and for a moment, you think he’s going to give in to your teasing, but instead, he moves faster than you expect, closing the gap and pressing his lips to yours. he pulls back. “there,” he says with a satisfied smile, leaning back smugly. “exactly where i wanted it.” mission accomplished.
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡 jungwon is folding laundry beside you. you glance at him, his focused expression almost too cute, and the words slip out before you can stop them. “kiss me.” he pauses mid-fold, looking at you like you’ve just handed him the most important task of his life. “okay,” he says simply, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. but then he doesn’t stop. another kiss lands on the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then your forehead. giggles bubble out of you as he peppers your face with kisses, completely forgetting about the laundry. “jungwon!” you laugh, trying to push him away, but he just grins, pulling you closer. “you said kiss me,” he teases, planting one last kiss on your lips. “i’m just being thorough.”
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜 you’re sitting across from riki when he starts tapping his fingers on the table, his eyes darting to your lips every five seconds. “what’s taking you so long?” he mutters. you raise a brow, amused. “taking me so long for what?" “nothing,” he grumbles, looking away. but then his impatience gets the best of him. “you’re so slow, y’know that? maybe if you weren’t so distracted, someone could be happy right now.” the teasing lilt in his voice only makes you laugh. “oh, so you want a kiss?” you ask, leaning closer. he scoffs, eyes narrowing. “who said i wanted one?” his ego crumbles when you press a quick kiss to his cheek. his ears turn red, but he smirks anyway. “finally. took you long enough.”
#ʚ( ៸៸ ´ `) 𝑜𝑓 : 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 ︐#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen au#heeseung#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#heeseung fluff#jaeyun fluff#sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon angst#sunghoon angst#park jongseong angst#enhypen soft hour#sunghoon soft hours#enhypen soft hours#heeseung soft thoughts#sunghoon soft thoughts#jaeyun imagines#sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon imagines#heeseung scenarios#nishimura riki scenarios#jay park scenarios#sunghoon au
911 notes
·
View notes
Text
TRYING TO TAKE YOU HOME WHEN YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE THEM. ft. dan heng, jing yuan, mydei, phainon, and sunday.
sfw. f!reader. in which the hsr men try their best to convince you that they really are your boyfriend and not a complete stranger trying to take you back home after a long night out.
cw for implied alcohol consumption. not mentioned otherwise — just the silly scenario where reader seemingly doesn’t recognize them upon first glance. prompt from anon on prev blog! fem!reader for all.
— DAN HENG.
He wonders if this was truly the best course of action.
“Give me back my jacket, you jerk...” your words come out slurred, barely mustering the strength needed to keep your hold on his sleeve as you trail behind him down the street.
His jacket — he'd usually correct you — but he doesn't this time, lest you eventually come to the conclusion that the mentioned jacket isn't even yours and therefore holds no importance.
“Soon. The agreement we settled on was that if you don't make a scene, I'll give it back.”
It sounds like a threat.
And if someone were to spot him now, this would certainly paint his image in a light that he would much rather not be perceived in, if given the choice.
He knows this all too well — apparent from the nervous sweat collecting along his temples and the frequent clearing of his throat whenever your grip begins to loosen, but you seem to only giggle at the statement now, eagerly nodding along.
“Really? You pinkie promise, stranger? I'll be reaaall quiet then.”
“Yes,” his brows furrow — from either stress or a sense of urgency that you don't seem to have, “I give you my word. So, please, keep your voice down and follow me.”
You respond with a cheerful hum before eventually falling silent again, the street quiet aside from the patter of your clumsy footsteps following closely behind his own.
Though it’s short-lived, much to Dan Heng’s misery.
Only about a minute or two goes by until you start to tug on his sleeve, and his heart nearly stops beating in his chest. Perhaps you’ve already realized. Or perhaps you’ve pegged him as a dangerous type of guy — which wouldn’t surprise him, given the circumstances.
“Hey…” you tug once more, even harder now, and then stop walking entirely — shifting your weight backwards to avoid being pulled straight into him.
Uh oh.
“Hey.... stranger?” You're mumbling now, eyes locked on the floor, and his breath is stuck in his throat.
“I'm sleepy.”
“You.. you want to sleep,” He repeats, still uncertain — his words coming off a bit too similar to that of a question. “Right now?”
You nod, hands coming to rub at your eyes, as if doing so could wipe away the sudden wave of drowsiness that has overtaken you. Though, your efforts prove to be futile in the end, with each blink becoming slower than the last.
“Yes,” you murmur, “Here. I'm going to nap … and then .. and then I need to find my boyfriend.”
Boyfriend. A part of him is relieved you remember, at least. Perhaps the other critical piece of information will find its way back to you soon as well.
Your eyes flutter back open when something familiar is draped across your shoulders. “Don't sleep here.”
“Here,” he turns around, lowering himself onto a knee to gesture for you to climb on. “I'll take you to your boyfriend.”
— JING YUAN.
“My boyfriend taught me how to fight, so don’t you even dare.”
He blinks, once, twice — the hand gently patting your head a moment ago now entirely frozen in place. “Oh?”
It makes sense as soon as you turn to glare at him. While he’s rather certain he hasn’t done anything to warrant such a look, another part of him — his heart, skips a happy beat over how adorable you look, even if you’re not smiling at him like usual.
“I see,” Jing Yuan continues again, only a moment later, taking a seat beside you (and choosing to ignore the way you make the conscious effort to scoot an inch away from him). Sassily so, he might add, similar to the way you so endearingly turn your body away from him and puff your cheek out when he’s teased you just a bit too much for your liking.
His hand finds its way back to you again, slower this time — traces over your cheek until he gently cups it in an effort to feel the warmth radiating from your skin. A chuckle almost betrays him and slips out at the sight of your eyes nearly fluttering shut, subconsciously leaning into his touch until you abruptly come back to your senses and swat at his hand.
He smiles at you. “Hm. Your boyfriend — is that right?”
Your eyes narrow at the amusement in his voice, likely wondering why a stranger would be speaking to you so familiarly. “My boyfriend. The one with a suuuper heavy weapon that …. that you probably couldn’t pick up … with help.”
“Ah, how admirable he must be. You have no need for worry — I would never dream of wielding such a weapon.”
You huff before deciding to face the opposite direction, all whilst scooting a secondary inch away from him. Perhaps a third, for extra measure.
“This boyfriend of yours,” he speaks again, holding back a chuckle when you dramatically sigh at the sound of his voice once again, “surely he wouldn’t mind someone like myself keeping you company until he returns, wouldn’t you think?”
“I have grown quite curious. Perhaps he would allow me to see this impressive weapon for myself.”
— MYDEI.
“Actually, you’re rather comfy, stranger.”
Mydei only huffs in response before glancing over his shoulder from where you’re draped over his left like a sack of potatoes, quickly confirming that … as of now, you still seem content, at least.
“I’ve told you before. I’m no stranger.” The singular arm currently holding your thighs to his chest tightens, and you only giggle against his back, arms freely dangling beneath you. “Yeah, yeah.”
You’ve been surprisingly cooperative. In fact, he thinks he should make a mental note to remind you about being less trusting of strangers tomorrow — because .. surely, it should not have been so easy to convince you that he could simply carry you to your ‘boyfriend.’
Even now, when he’s seemingly been reduced to nothing aside from a mere stranger, you’re as inviting and friendly to him as ever — mumbling something about his strength, followed by a worried “Hey but — let me know if you get tired or anything, okay?”
So, he lets you talk, opting to silently listen to you ramble on about your day (aside from the occasional glances over his shoulder to check on you). It’s only when he hears a sudden shift in your voice that he stiffens.
“Say…” you start, drawing patterns along his back with a finger, as if nervous about his response. “Do you think Mydei’s worried?”
“I don’t want to worry him,” he lets you continue, eyes shifting back to the path ahead of him. “What do you think, strong stranger? He won’t be mad, right? Or sad, maybe?”
He huffs. “No. He wouldn’t be mad. Not at you.”
— PHAINON.
“Oh.” You hug your knees in disappointment to let out another heavy sigh, one far too telling of your emotions — practically seeping back into your lonely puddle when you realize that this person who had found you in your corner was also in fact… not your boyfriend.
“‘Oh?’ Well, someone doesn’t sound very excited to see me.”
The stranger decides to approach you anyway, taking a seat on the tiles beside you before letting out an exhale himself, back of his head coming to lightly rest against the wall. “What’s on your mind?”
“Hmph,” you leer at him from where your head is halfway buried in your arms, knees hugged tightly against your chest. “I wanted to see my boyfriend, not some random person. I’m tired, y’know.”
“Your boyfriend? How strange.” The confusion starts to leave his face the longer he looks at you — lips curling ever so slightly at the idea that suddenly comes to mind.
“He must be cruel … to leave you here all by yourself.”
He almost slips and calls you cute when you stick an arm out to weakly jab a finger into his shoulder, turning your head to the side again to mutter a “Hey. He’s not cruel.”
Truly too cute — the way your eyes have narrowed into something resembling a glare — the same one you always give him whenever you scold him for being too careless. Though, it tends to fade as soon as it comes, replaced with soft kisses against the crown of his head as you lull him back to sleep.
“Aw,” He’s smiling now, “You’re certain he’s not cruel?”
“Obviously I’m certain,” You huff, ignoring the way he seems to look happier at this and hugging your knees even tighter against your chest. “I like being around him. A whole lot, actually.”
The way his eyes begin to soften at your (unintentional) affection most definitely wouldn’t go unnoticed by you, he’s sure, nor the way his hand twitches — wanting nothing but to extend in your direction to pull you in for a hug. Though, luckily enough for him, you’ve settled on resting your head in the comfort of your own arms again, oblivious to the lovesick one seated beside you.
“I’ll make sure to tell him again … when I see him. So let me be, you weird stranger.”
— SUNDAY.
If someone happened to be wondering whether a halovian’s wings flap awkwardly when rendered completely speechless — this would be their golden opportunity to witness it firsthand.
“M-my apologies,” his wings flutter again, then a third time when your hand only tightens around his wrist, eyes narrowing at him in suspicion. “Please excuse me. I was only checking for your temperature, since you seem to be rather…”
“No.” You don’t let go. In fact, you hold onto him as if you’ve just now captured a crook attempting to steal March’s snacks.
“..Forgive me,” his eyes flicker from your hand to your eyes — then back to your hand. As if there may be a slim chance that you’ve simply forgotten about the ironclad grip on his wrist and would release him from his confinement, soon. Surely. “Then perhaps I should go get you a glass of wa—”
“No.”
“…”
“I… I see.” The nervous flutter of his wings shifts to something more sheepish — one wing moving to cover his mouth, as if deep in thought. Which wouldn’t be far from the truth, for even someone such as himself is left dumbfounded by your current behavior. “Then.. is there anything you’d like for me to help with? Someone like March may be better suited for..”
“My boyfriend…” he falls silent as soon as you speak, noting the softness of your words now — barely above a hushed whisper (though the familiarity has him quickly perking up in response). “I want my boyfriend.”
His head tilts at this. Subtly. Truly confused — and even more so when your brows furrow only a second later, followed by a tug on his wrist. “I want my boyfriend.”
“You’re stuck with me until we find my boyfriend.”
#hsr x reader#phainon x reader#mydei x reader#sunday x reader#jing yuan x reader#dan heng x reader#phainon fluff#mydei fluff#sunday fluff#dan heng fluff#jing yuan fluff#hsr fluff#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail fluff#cw alchohol mention#sunday x you#jing yuan x you#phainon x you#mydei x you#dan heng x you
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like I need to add to this that just because your (you general, a lot of us really) life isn’t changing today or tomorrow, and you don’t feel like there’s anything concrete you can do to Effect Change, does not mean you’re powerless. And it certainly doesn’t mean you should just shrug your shoulders and look on in horror.
Please. For the love of god…
Educate Yourself
I saw someone here recently say “we had better not let him win a third election”. Honey, if he runs in a third election, democracy is officially over. Term limits are SO SO important. Read the Constitution, or find someone to help you read it.
They took the Constitution off of the White House website on the first day because they don’t want you to know your rights. The Constitution is first and foremost a list of limitations on the federal government. Why would they want you to know about that? It’s easier to do whatever the hell they want if they keep us stupid.
If you’re someone who feels powerless, who is overwhelmed by or can’t participate in community organizing, the most important thing you can do is get educated and keep your eyes open. You may see things you would have otherwise missed while you’re still trying to deal with your everyday life, which definitely doesn’t stop just because horrific things are happening all around us.
Maybe this is extremely incorrect or narrow of me to think in some way, but
When you learn about Hitler's takeover in school, I feel like you always imagine it being so much bigger, even bigger than it already was, like more... I don't know how to explain it. Like it stopped every single other aspect of life for everyone ever. Because like. Y'know, gigantic historical event. Like unfathomable degrees of impact on a global scale, even if that was only the case after years of damage.
And yet here we (Americans) are, living through something that has terrifying amounts of parallels to the start of all that, and like... Nope. Life doesn't freeze, not everyone feels an instant tangible change for the worst. People are still living out their daily lives, doing whatever their version of mundane life is, whether it's working for less than minimum wage at a shitty retail job, doomscrolling on the toilet at home, seeking out somewhere to stay warm and safe, etc.
Like no matter what life is like for them, everyone is acutely aware one way or another that this is happening and ongoing, but chances are it probably isn't completely derailing their average day (I'm having a hard time wording this in a way that emphasizes there's an element of privilege involved in this and keeps the people who will be impacted ASAP by things like ICE raids and such in mind but the sentiment is there, sorry).
Like. This is the next 4 years of our lives. I'm a poor, queer, neurodivergent woman. And I'm still more privileged than some people despite being quadruple disadvantaged (for a lack of better term). But I feel like I'm living a death sentence despite that privilege. And you'd think that, given I feel that way, what's happening today and will be happening for the next 4 years would feel more real than it does right now? Like I wouldn't be sitting in my home completely objectively fine, casually posting here on Tumblr feeling existential and spending an embarrassing amount of time trying to word what I'm thinking in a way that isn't/doesn't feel ignorant in some way.
But no. We're on the precipice of god knows what and it's not consuming very single American's life including mine in every single conceivable way like how you (or at least I, I guess) imagine it was for every single person back before/during WWII.
I dunno, I guess I'm just really feeling like this meme right now.
And it's all only made worse by the fact that like. The election was rigged (said by Trump himself btw) and there are a million other blatantly obvious reasons this shouldn't be happening. And yet it is. Like not only do we have to endure unimaginable amounts of dread for years to come, but we have the knowledge that this should not be happening to begin with but everything is so fucked up and the people that could do something to stop it are so fucking stupid and only out for themselves that it's happening anyway.
Edit: Can't believe I have to add this, but zionists and neo-nazis get the fuck out of here. Please choke to death, actually.
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
ᯓ☆ star’s midnight caller II ☆ᯓ
MASTERLIST
☆ series masterpost: I II III
pairing: billie eilish x sex-hotline-operator!fem!reader
genre: smut, fluff, angst (if you squint)
synopsis: in the quiet of the night, you answer a call that pulls you into a world of mystery and intrigue. what starts as a simple conversation with a stranger turns into a connection you never expected, leaving you craving more with each ring.
wc: 19.8k…..chat
warnings: top!billie, bottom!reader, phone sex, guided masturbation (r!receiving), dirty talking, fingering(r!receiving), cunnilingus (r!receiving), r! is described to have tattoos and nipple piercings, cussing, let me know if i’ve forgotten anything.
authors note: if you haven’t read pt 1 i suggest you do to understand what’s going on, it’s linked up above. but y’all don’t understand how long this took me. never doing this again (i say as pt 3 brews in my notes app🧍🏾♀️) ☆
phone call style story — reader is in bold italics, billie is in blue italics.
————
thursday 2:25 pm
the room is enveloped in near-darkness, save for the faint glow of the projector casting moving shadows on the walls, the images dancing faintly before fading into obscurity. a grainy forensics case study plays on the screen, the narrator’s monotone voice threading through the silence like a low hum. images of crime scenes flicker: shoeprints etched into mud, a blood-streaked knife gleaming under harsh light, diagrams of trajectories drawn with meticulous precision. the air is thick with a strange stillness, broken only by the whir of the projector.
you’re seated at a lecture table in the middle of the room, the glossy surface cool against your forearms. your notebook lies open, pages crisp and lined with the neat curves of your handwriting—cornell notes style, each section meticulously labeled. the ballpoint pen you’ve been gripping bears faint smudges of ink, a quiet testament to earlier focus. your belongings are arranged with an almost obsessive precision, each item carefully placed to avoid encroaching on your classmates’ space.
but your mind drifts, untethered, as if caught on the hook of a voice that lingers in the back of your thoughts. a certain caller has been invading the quiet hours of your nights, her words weaving themselves into the fabric of your mind. the way she asks questions—casual but deliberate, coaxing details about your life with a quiet intensity. she tells you about herself too, the cadence of her voice shifting when she delves into stories or spirals into laughter, the kind that leaves you grinning like a fool. sometimes the conversations are light, like skipping stones across water, but often they sink deeper, pulling you both into rabbit holes of thought. and then there’s the flirting—her tone dipping just enough to leave you wondering if it’s intentional or simply her nature. either way, it stirs something in you, a warmth that unfurls in your chest, spreading through your limbs like the first sip of hot tea on a cold morning.
subconsciously, your fingers begin to wag the pen back and forth. the faint tapping against the notebook creates an uneven rhythm, a soft staccato that fills the empty spaces of your wandering mind. the sound is muted, almost soothing—the thwack of plastic meeting paper, the rustle of shifting pages. it’s erratic, mirroring the restless energy simmering beneath your surface, your thoughts leaping from one idea to the next before circling back to her voice.
your eyes stray from the projection, sweeping across the dimly lit room. your classmates sit scattered like statues in varying states of engagement—some scribbling notes with mechanical precision, others half-hidden behind their desks, their faces lit faintly by the glow of their phones. the soft rustle of pages and the occasional stifled yawn add texture to the quiet. your gaze drifts to professor talis, who sits at her desk, bathed in the soft glow of her computer screen. the light highlights the contours of her smooth, golden-brown skin, her curls tumbling gracefully over her shoulders. her thick glasses perch neatly on her nose, catching the faint reflections of the video playing on the board. the snug burgundy sweater she wears looks like it holds warmth, hugging her frame in a way that seems almost comforting.
your attention slides to the clock hanging on the wall, its face faintly illuminated by the dim light. the second hand trudges forward in slow, deliberate ticks, each movement stretching time until it feels infinite. the soft hum of distant chatter blends with the faint scratching of pencils, a quiet symphony of distraction. the pen in your hand wavers, the motion gradually slowing as your focus narrows. the countdown begins—seconds trickling away like grains of sand slipping through your fingers. freedom feels close but distant, just out of reach, and all you can do is wait.
suddenly, the vibrations of your phone ripple through the table, a faint hum cutting through the quiet. a few heads turn toward you, their eyes glinting with muted curiosity in the dim light. the attention feels sharper than it should, and you arch a brow, your head jerking slightly forward in disbelief.
“what?” you mutter under your breath, the word laced with a sharpness you didn’t bother to hide. your gaze flicks to the nearest onlookers, daring them to explain their sudden fascination. it’s not like you’re in middle school—and honestly, have they never heard a phone vibrate before?
ignoring their stares, you reach for the device, its smooth surface cool against your fingertips. unlocking it, you glance at the screen, squinting slightly as the glow cuts through the dimness. one notification stands out, breaking through the shield of your do not disturb focus mode:
1 new email notification from: Maggie Baird
tapping on the alert, you’re directed to the email, the words staring back at you in bold clarity.
hello,
i hope you’re doing well! i just wanted to send a reminder about our appointment today at 2:45. please let me know if you’re still able to stop in or not.
have a great day!
best regards,
maggie baird—guidance counselor
your fingers move automatically, the soft taps of your typing blending into the faint rustle of papers and distant murmurs.
hi!
yes, i will still be stopping by your office today to finish our discussion. see you then.
as you hit send, a voice cuts through the haze of your thoughts, calling your name. your head snaps up, eyes scanning the room for the source. the voice echoes faintly, too soft to pinpoint, and you find yourself searching faces, your gaze darting from one corner to the next. then it happens—an unexpected thud against your cheek, rough paper colliding with your skin. your nose scrunches instinctively as your eyes flutter shut, the crumpled projectile falling to the desk with a dull plop.
turning around, you lock eyes with carson, her expression caught somewhere between disbelief and exasperation. her dark curls frame her face, slightly tousled, her sharp green eyes narrowing as if to say, really?
pushing your chair back, you scoot closer to the table behind you, leaning into the shared space until her whisper reaches your ear. the cool touch of her necklace brushes your skin, a fleeting sensation that sends a shiver down your spine.
“why the fuck was that so hard when i’m right here?” she whisper-shouts, her voice edged with teasing indignation.
“shut up,” you reply, your voice low and tinged with amusement despite yourself. “what do you want?”
carson shakes her head, her grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. the familiarity of the moment settles between you, warm and grounding. memories flicker to life—move-in day, your freshman year, the sterile air of the dorm buzzing with unfamiliarity. you still remember walking into the shared space, anxiety twisting in your stomach, only to find her already there. her stuff was unpacked, books stacked neatly on the desk, posters pinned haphazardly to the walls. she sat cross-legged on her bed, her bright green eyes meeting yours with a warmth that immediately put you at ease.
“hey,” she had said back then, her voice steady and inviting. “welcome home.”
something between you clicked that day, an invisible thread tying you together in a way you never questioned. even now, years later, the bond feels effortless—natural, like it’s always been there. you don’t say it often, maybe not as often as you should, but you’re grateful. her presence is an anchor, a quiet reassurance in a world that so often feels unsteady.
“seriously, though,” she whispers, her grin softening. “you’re so dramatic.”
“you’re the one throwing shit,” you counter, your lips twitching into a smirk.
the moment feels suspended, a pocket of light in the dimness of the room, the weight of everything else temporarily forgotten.
it made sense that she was at school on a basketball scholarship. carson had shown you her highlight reels more times than you could count, pulling them up on her cracked phone screen with that same smug grin she always wore when she knew she’d impressed you. her stats were insane—double-doubles, clutch shots, and a level of confidence that could light up any court she stepped on. she was damn good, and she knew it. but it wasn’t just her skill that kept you showing up to every game—it was the way she played, like every shot, every layup, every defensive steal was a conversation she was having with the universe. it was impossible not to get pulled into her orbit.
since the day you two met, you’d been inseparable. carson’s energy was magnetic, and from the moment she greeted you in that shared dorm room, you knew she’d be the kind of friend you could count on for anything. you became her shadow, and she became yours—whether it was late-night study sessions fueled by vending machine snacks or impromptu karaoke performances in your tiny dorm bathroom. you showed up to every one of her games, screaming your lungs out from the bleachers, your voice blending into the roar of the crowd. it wasn’t long before you decided to join the university’s cheer team, if only to have an excuse to be closer to the action—and closer to her.
but it wasn’t all fun and games. you were there when she tore her ACL sophomore year, the anguish etched across her face as she sat on the bench, the season slipping through her fingers. you’d sat with her in the hospital waiting room, holding her hand while she blinked back tears, offering nothing but your quiet presence. and when things got hard for you—when the weight of school, life, and your own fears felt too heavy—carson was there, cracking jokes, pulling you out of bed, and reminding you that it was okay to stumble as long as you kept going.
“so basically after the banquet tomorrow—”
“—seminar,” you interrupt, the corner of your lips twitching into a smirk.
“whatever, same thing. they both serve free food, do they not?” she scoffs, rolling her eyes with exaggerated flair. “anyways, before you rudely interrupted me, are you going to the thing tomorrow?”
“what thing?” you ask, your curiosity piqued as you shift slightly in your seat.
“do you not check the gc?”
“oh… no. i muted y’all forever ago,” you admit, stifling a laugh and keeping your voice low to avoid disturbing the rest of the class.
“my god,” she groans, dragging the words out like a dramatic sigh. “anyway, they wanna go out tomorrow—to some club or whatever—after we get back from it.”
“um… i’ll let you know,” you say, turning back toward the front of the room. “i’m supposed to meet with my counselor today about some ta thing, so i’m not too sure just yet.”
before she can respond, your attention is drawn back to the projector screen. the narrator’s voice cuts through the background noise, monotone but heavy with implication.
“this pattern of blood spatter indicates a medium-velocity impact, likely from a blunt object. note the size and direction of the droplets.”
the words sink into the stillness of the room, the imagery vivid and clinical. you feel a strange sense of detachment as your eyes flicker between the screen and your notebook. the notes in front of you blur slightly, your thoughts wandering back to carson’s offer, the muted buzz of her words still lingering in your mind.
you pause, underlining a key phrase in your notes, the ink dragging softly against the page. your eyes flick back to the screen, narrowing as you try to absorb the image—splatter lines branching out like veins, chaotic but telling a story if you looked closely enough. you force yourself to focus, blocking out the creeping edges of distraction that threaten to pull you under.
outside, a low rumble of thunder rolls, faint but steady, like a distant warning. someone shifts behind you, their chair letting out a sharp squeak that pierces the silence.
“pause the video.”
the screen freezes on an intricate diagram of blood spatter. the jagged pattern is unsettling in its precision, almost artistic in a morbid way.
professor talis speaks up, her voice cutting through the stillness like a blade. “alright, let’s take a moment. can anyone tell me why this particular pattern rules out a high-velocity impact?”
the room falls into an uneasy quiet, the kind that stretches too long and grows heavy. a few students drop their gazes to their desks, avoiding eye contact like the answer might leap off their notebooks and save them. someone in the back coughs, the sound echoing faintly.
your pen stills in your hand. you know the answer; it’s on the tip of your tongue, almost reflexive. and you know she knows you know it. but the thought of speaking aloud—the weight of all those eyes on you—makes your throat tighten. you drop your gaze to your notebook, hoping the moment passes.
professor talis lets out a soft sigh, laced with disappointment. “no one? fine. look at the size of the droplets. high-velocity impacts—like from a gunshot—create a fine mist. what you’re seeing here is much larger, which tells us—”
“—that it’s medium-velocity, probably from something like a bat or a pipe,” you mutter under your breath, the words escaping before you can stop them.
the professor’s head snaps toward you, her sharp gaze locking onto yours. “exactly. speak up next time, ms. you know this stuff.”
you nod faintly, a flicker of heat rising to your cheeks. you glance at carson, who’s leaning back in her chair with an amused smirk, mouthing the word ‘damn.’ you roll your eyes at her, the corner of your lips twitching.
“alright, class dismissed,” professor talis announces, motioning for someone near the door to flip on the light switch. the room is suddenly bathed in a harsh, sterile glow, and a collective groan ripples through the class as everyone shields their eyes. you squint, blinking repeatedly, trying to adjust as the light burns away the comfortable dimness.
“don’t forget your assignments are due next monday. no excuses,” she continues, her tone firm, no room for negotiation. “you’ll thank me when you’re out there solving cases. also, remember that class is canceled tomorrow, and for those of you attending the seminar, be there no later than 11:00 a.m. sharp. dress in business attire. i’ll email your tickets tonight. have a good rest of your day, and i’ll see some of you tomorrow.”
the room erupts into the familiar chaos of end-of-class. chairs scrape against the floor, bags zip shut, and faint murmurs of conversation fill the space. you shut your notebook with a soft thud, sliding it into your bag. as you reach for your phone, the screen lights up with a notification: final notice: payment overdue.
your stomach twists, a sharp pang cutting through you, but you swipe the notification away quickly, jaw tightening. you pull on your zip-up jacket, the hood going over your head almost instinctively, a flimsy barrier against the world. slinging your bag over your shoulder, you make your way down the lecture stairs, your sneakers scuffing lightly against the floor.
as you push open the heavy door, the rumble of thunder outside greets you again, this time closer, louder, like a promise waiting to unfold.
you push open the heavy door of the building, stepping into the dimly lit hallway, your hood falling as you cross the threshold. the rain that had soaked through your jacket still clings to you, a cold, damp reminder of the storm outside. you glance down, swiping your shoes against the coarse floor mat, the sound scratching faintly against the quiet. the hallways stretch out before you, dim and hushed, the flicker of old fluorescent lights overhead casting a muted glow. the rain outside drums steadily against the roof and windows, the rhythm echoing down the empty corridors like a distant heartbeat.
your sneakers squeak softly with each step as you navigate the polished floors, leaving faint wet prints in your wake. the air smells faintly of books and wood polish, mingling with the crisp, metallic tang of rain. as you approach the office, warm light spills into the hallway from the narrow opening of the door, a soft beacon in the otherwise subdued space.
you pause, lifting your hand to knock lightly against the wood, the sound barely audible over the rain outside.
“come on in!”
the voice is cheerful, familiar. pushing the door open, you step inside.
maggie sits behind her desk, her silver hair pulled into a loose bun, strands escaping to frame her kind, lined face. the desk is cluttered with papers, framed photos, and a half-empty mug of coffee, the scent faintly mingling with the room’s warmth. she looks up as you enter, her smile bright and inviting.
“ah, just the person i wanted to see. please, sit down.”
you ease into the chair across from her, the worn leather creaking slightly under your weight. “thanks for seeing me on such short notice.”
she waves a hand dismissively, leaning back in her chair. “you’re fine. i heard you’re looking for a teacher’s assistant position?”
“yeah,” you say, adjusting your bag on your lap. “something flexible, if possible. my schedule’s already packed, but i really need the extra money.”
maggie hums thoughtfully, her fingers tapping lightly on the keyboard as she scrolls through files on her screen. “well, i think i have something that might work. the music department is looking for a t.a. it’s mostly administrative—grading papers, organizing lesson plans. nothing too heavy.”
your brows furrow slightly at the mention of music, a faint unease creeping in. “music? i’m a forensics major.”
maggie lets out a soft laugh, her eyes crinkling. “relax. you don’t need to be a musical prodigy. besides, the professor is great. my daughter, actually.”
you blink, her words catching you off guard. “your…daughter?”
she nods, the pride evident in her smile. “yeah. billie eilish—well, i guess she goes by professor o’connell now. now listen, she’s a bit unconventional, but she’s brilliant and easy to work with. i think you’ll like her.”
your thoughts race, uncertainty tugging at you, but you nod slowly, chewing the inside of your cheek. “well…i mean, if you’re sure…”
“i am,” she says confidently, leaning forward. “trust me, you’ll be fine. she’s expecting you in, oh, about ten minutes.”
maggie scoots her chair back, bending slightly to pull open a drawer. she rummages for a moment before withdrawing a manila folder, sliding it across the desk toward you. “here are all the details of the position. you’ll go over them with billie and make any changes where you see fit. just remember to keep an open mind. and don’t be late—billie’s not a fan of tardiness.”
you take the folder, the paper cool and smooth beneath your fingertips, and slip it into your bag. “thank you so much, maggie.”
“anytime, sweetheart. good luck.”
you offer a small smile before stepping back into the hallway, the warmth of the office fading as the cool air of the corridor greets you.
wandering through the halls, your eyes scan the doors, searching for the name. the polished brass plaque catches your attention, glinting faintly under the dull light: o’connell. the name sits bold and formal in black lettering, an unassuming prelude to whatever waits behind the door.
you hesitate for a moment, fingers brushing over the strap of your bag, before finally reaching for the handle.
you take a deep breath, the cool air of the hallway settling in your lungs before you raise your hand to knock. the sound echoes faintly in the quiet, the weight of anticipation tightening in your chest.
“come in,” her voice calls out, smooth and measured, carrying an edge of curiosity. your stomach flips as you push the door open, stepping inside.
she stands at the front of the room, her back partially turned as she writes on the whiteboard, her movements fluid and precise. a black pen is tucked behind her ear, and a neat stack of sheet music rests on the table beside her. the room feels alive despite its simplicity—soft natural light pours in through tall windows, painting golden streaks across the floor. a piano sits in the far corner, its polished surface reflecting the greenery of several plants scattered throughout the space.
then she looks up.
blue eyes meet yours, bright and clear, framed by gold-rimmed glasses perched on her nose. her gaze is steady, assessing, but there’s warmth there too—a smile softens her expression as if she’s welcoming you into her orbit. “hello. you must be the new t.a.”
your tongue feels thick in your mouth as you nod, your voice barely audible. “yeah. that’s me.”
it hits you like a tidal wave—her voice. it’s her. you freeze, the realization flooding through you in a dizzying rush. she doesn’t seem to recognize you, doesn’t give even the faintest indication that your paths have crossed before, but that only makes it stranger. surreal, almost, to stand here in front of her.
you’d always wondered what she looked like, your mind crafting endless versions of her face over the past weeks to fill the blank spaces in your memory. but nothing—nothing—could have prepared you for this.
she’s beautiful in a way that words can’t quite hold, like trying to capture sunlight in your hands. her oversized tan button-up hangs loosely on her frame, paired with dark wash jeans that sit low on her hips, the fabric pooling slightly around her ankles. her hair falls in soft, dark brown waves down her back, glinting faintly in the sunlight. she’s both effortless and breathtaking, a contradiction you can’t help but admire.
and her eyes—sharp, yet gentle��trail over you, taking in every detail. they seem to glow, crystalline and piercing, cutting through your casual exterior. suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of your own appearance, of the worn sweater and faded jeans you’d thrown on without a second thought. you feel exposed, wishing you’d cared a little more about how you looked.
“have a seat,” she says, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk as she moves to sit down. her voice is soft, but there’s a firmness to it that tells you she’s used to being listened to.
you slide into the chair, your movements careful, and pull the folder from your bag. placing it on the desk, you watch as she flips it open, her fingers brushing lightly against the papers. the motion draws your attention to the ink scrawled across the back of her hand—delicate lines of black, faint smudges at the edges, as if she’d been too focused to stop and wash it off.
as she begins to explain your responsibilities, you try to focus on her words, but your eyes betray you. they wander over her face, lingering on her lips. they’re full and soft, a natural pink like the petals of a plumeria flower, and you can’t help but wonder what they might feel like against your own. the thought startles you, heat creeping up your neck.
her voice cuts through your spiraling thoughts, pulling you back to reality. “is everything okay?” she asks, her brows knitting together in light concern.
you blink, shaking off the haze. “yeah, sorry about that. can you repeat that?” you force a small, nervous laugh, rubbing your palms against the rough fabric of your jeans before leaning in slightly, hoping to seem more attentive.
she doesn’t answer immediately. instead, she watches you, her fingers idly tracing the edges of the papers in the folder. her head tilts to the side, the movement subtle but thoughtful, her gaze narrowing slightly.
her tongue darts out briefly to wet her bottom lip before she pulls it in, biting gently on the skin as if she’s considering something. the moment feels heavier than it should, the silence stretching thin between you. you shift under her gaze, the weight of it pressing into you, as if she’s trying to read something just beneath the surface.
“what?” your brows knit together as confusion flashes across your face, your eyes darting around the room in search of some unseen answer.
“nothing,” she huffs softly, amusement laced in her tone, though her gaze remains sharp. she leans forward, closing the distance slightly, her arms resting on the desk. her presence is magnetic, drawing you in even as her words send a ripple of unease through your chest. “i’m just wondering… do i know you from somewhere?”
you freeze, the air seeming to still around you. her question hits you like a sudden drop, the ground vanishing beneath your feet. a chill skates down your spine, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe. you inhale sharply through your nose, forcing yourself to collect the fragments of your composure. your voice feels foreign when it finally escapes, a careful balance between indifference and denial.
“no, i don’t think you do. i’m sorry.”
silence unfurls in the space between you, thick and palpable. billie doesn’t move, her blue eyes narrowing slightly as they search yours. there’s a quiet intensity in the way she looks at you, as though she’s trying to piece together a memory just out of reach. her lashes frame her gaze, softening its sharpness, but the weight of it is almost too much to bear.
her eyes shift, slow and deliberate, tracing the curve of your jaw, the slope of your neck. they linger there for a moment too long, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks. then, like a current, her gaze flows down your arm, pausing briefly as if something there caught her attention. her movements are so fluid, so unassuming, you barely register them before she straightens, her focus shifting back to the file in front of her.
“hm… well then,” she murmurs, her tone light but her expression unreadable. she leans back in her chair, the black leather creaking softly beneath her. a beat passes, the air taut with unspoken tension, before she continues. “does every monday, wednesday, and friday at five pm work for you?”
you nod quickly, your movements stiff and mechanical, and she doesn’t press further.
she begins listing your responsibilities, her voice smooth and measured as she explains your duties. you force yourself to focus on her words, but it’s a losing battle. your responses are clipped, your gaze fixed firmly on the desk in front of you. if you keep it brief, keep it distant, maybe she won’t look too closely. maybe she won’t connect the threads dangling between you.
by the time the meeting wraps up, your nerves are frayed, each passing second an exercise in restraint. billie leans forward again, extending a hand across the desk. “looking forward to working with you.”
for a moment, you just stare at her hand, your heart pounding in your ears. then, slowly, you reach out, your fingers meeting hers. her hand is warm, her skin smooth but not without the rough edges of callouses. the contrast between your hands strikes you—her strength tempered by an understated softness, your own fingers trembling slightly as you fight to maintain control.
her thumb brushes lightly against your knuckles, whether intentional or not, and the contact sends a jolt through you. goosebumps rise along her arm where your nails graze her skin, the faint gleam of your top coat catching the light.
“thank you,” you mumble, your voice barely audible. you pull your hand back quickly, tucking it close to your side like it might betray you.
with a hurried goodbye, you slip out of the room, your chest tight and your thoughts in chaos. the hallway feels too quiet, the walls pressing in as you all but sprint away. each step echoes, a reminder of what you’ve left behind and the weight of what you can’t seem to outrun.
back in your apartment, billie’s voice lingers like a song you can’t get out of your head, looping endlessly in your mind. you toss your bag onto the couch and make your way to the bathroom, craving the solitude and stillness that only a hot shower can bring.
you tie your hair back loosely, fingers trembling slightly as you strip off your clothes. stepping into the steam, the water cascades over your skin, scalding but grounding, a sharp contrast to the chaos in your chest. the scent of your lavender body wash fills the air, soft and calming, like a fleeting embrace in the midst of a storm. you close your eyes and focus on the sound of the droplets hitting the tiles, willing the tension in your shoulders to dissolve, willing your nerves to spiral down the drain along with the suds.
after a few long moments, you twist the knob, and the water stops, leaving behind silence and steam. wrapping yourself in a towel, you step out, the cool air prickling against your damp skin. you move to your bedroom, the ritual of moisturizing your skin a temporary comfort. your favorite lotion, thick and sweet like vanilla and brown sugar, lingers on your fingertips as you rub it into your arms and legs.
the clock on your nightstand glows 3:47 in vivid red, mocking you with the hours left until your hotline shift begins. you sigh, pulling on a pair of soft, worn pajamas, their familiarity soothing. the silence presses against your ears, heavy and unrelenting, so you turn on your tv, letting the hum of your favorite show fill the void. but even with the characters’ voices playing in the background, your thoughts are loud, relentless.
you drag yourself into the bathroom to begin your hair routine. from under the sink, you gather your tools: the flat iron, heat protectant, parting comb, rollers, and duck clips. the motions are automatic, practiced, almost meditative.
your thumb brushes against the flat iron’s switch, flicking it on. the red light blinks steadily as it warms up. you spray heat protectant onto your hair, the mist clinging to the strands, giving them a subtle sheen. when the iron’s light turns green, you pick it up and run it carefully down each section of hair. the heat transforms your coils into glossy, silken strands, the steam curling in the air like whispered secrets. you follow each pass with your comb before rolling the ends of your hair up to the roots and clipping them in place with a metallic duck clip.
the process repeats, your hands moving on autopilot, but your mind drifts elsewhere. you replay the meeting over and over, analyzing every glance, every word. the way her eyes lingered on you, searching for something just out of reach. does she know? or is this all some cruel coincidence?
your alarm buzzes sharply, jolting you from your thoughts. the clock now blares 6:20. you finish the last section of your hair, securing the roller in place, before turning off the alarm. as you set the flat iron down, another sound cuts through the room—the sharp trill of the phone. it’s the hotline.
your stomach flips as you hesitate, staring at the flashing light. finally, you take a deep breath, slip on your headset, and settle into the familiar rhythm of your persona.
thursday 6:32 pm — incoming call from +1 (310) 807-3956 (los angeles, california)
“hello, and thank you for calling the pulse network. this is star speaking.”
“star,” billie’s voice flows through the receiver, warm and honey-smooth. “how’s my favorite voice tonight?”
your heart clenches. it’s always like this when she calls, the way her voice sinks into your skin and leaves you aching for more.
“i’m good,” you reply, fighting to keep your tone steady. “you?”
“exhausted,” she admits, a soft chuckle following her words. “it’s been a day. i just got a new t.a., which i’m so grateful for, but she was so quiet. i think i scared her off.”
your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you can’t speak. she’s talking about me.
“maybe she’s just shy,” you manage, your voice careful, measured.
the conversation flows, her voice a melody you know too well. she talks about her day, her words curling around you like smoke, hazy and intoxicating. you fall into the rhythm of your usual calls, her laughter tugging a small smile from your lips despite the weight in your chest.
when you mention your new nails, she perks up, her tone playful and teasing.
“tell me everything. what color? shape? i need details, star.”
her curiosity pulls you in, her warmth easing the tension in your shoulders just enough to let you breathe. for a moment, it feels normal—like it always has, like she’s just a voice on the other end of the line. but beneath the surface, you can feel the cracks forming, the weight of your secret threatening to shatter everything.
“baby?” she calls out, her voice soft, low, and dripping with a kind of warmth that sends a shiver down your spine.
the little nickname stirs something in you, a flutter of wings in the pit of your stomach, delicate and chaotic.
“hm?” you hum, your tone nonchalant, though your pulse skips just slightly.
“i’ve always wondered if you had any tattoos or anything.”
her question catches you off guard, and you smile faintly, letting out a soft breath as you lean back in your chair.
“yeah, i have a couple.”
“oh? where?”
her tone shifts—curious but edged with something playful. it pulls a light laugh from you, your fingers idly tracing the edge of your desk.
“um… i have one on my spine, another in the middle of my boobs, like, on my sternum. there’s a few others, but i always forget about them. they’re mostly in places you can’t really see unless… you know.”
“unless what?” her voice takes on a teasing lilt, and you can hear the smirk tugging at her lips, even through the line.
your own lips curl as you lean forward slightly, your tone dipping into something slower, smoother, deliberate.
“unless i’m having sex or something”
the words hang in the air, heavy and electric. you hear her breath hitch faintly before she responds, her voice low, sultry, matching your energy effortlessly.
“just might have to take you up on that offer.”
your side of the line goes quiet for a beat, her words lingering in your head like smoke. you swallow hard, the heat blooming in your chest spreading lower. ever since this afternoon, your thoughts have been consumed by her. seeing her for the first time—her sharp blue eyes, the casual confidence in the way she moved—was enough to get your mind reeling and your body betraying you in ways you hadn’t expected.
you sigh softly, the sound escaping without permission, and lean back in your chair.
“you okay over there?” her voice breaks through your haze, tinged with genuine concern.
“yeah,” you say quickly, then pivot. “do you have any tattoos?”
“just six,” she says, her tone easing back into its usual calm rhythm. “not a lot. i have a back tattoo, one on my hip, two on my thigh, one on my sternum, and then everyone’s favorite—the one on my hand.”
she describes them casually, but her voice is warm, soft around the edges, and it paints vivid images in your mind. your thoughts immediately flash to the tattoo on her hand. you’d seen it earlier, the intricate details trailing over her skin. it had you thinking thoughts you shouldn’t, imagining her hands tracing over your body, exploring every sacred inch of you.
a low sound escapes your throat—something between a groan and a hum—and you don’t even realize it until the silence stretches between you.
“what was that?” her voice is teasing now, a quiet laugh slipping through, and you feel your cheeks heat up.
“nothing,” you murmur, shifting in your seat. as you adjust, your elbow brushes against the desk, and the edge presses uncomfortably into your chest. a sharp pain shoots through you as it hits your nipple piercing, and you wince, sucking in a breath.
“what’s going on over there?” she asks, half-laughing, half-curious.
“nothing,” you say again, trying to brush it off, though your voice is tight. you bite your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as the sting subsides, but your thoughts remain tangled in her—her voice, her hands, her presence.
this is dangerous, you think. and yet, you can’t seem to pull yourself away.
“i just bruised my fucking piercing.”
“what piercing?” her voice perks up, curiosity spilling through the line. there’s something in her tone—teasing, intrigued—that makes your stomach twist, heat curling under your skin.
you hesitate for a moment, then let it slip. “this damn nipple piercing. don’t even know why i got it.”
you didn’t, really. it was one of those impulsive decisions—your freshman year of college, sitting cross-legged on your dorm bed while your ex convinced you it’d be fun and cute. you remember the way she had grinned, her enthusiasm contagious, and before you knew it, you were booking an appointment. carson came with you, holding your hand and laughing the entire time, but she didn’t stop you either.
“you’re full of surprises, star,” billie says, a soft laugh weaving into her words. it’s a laugh that warms you, but it also disarms you, makes you feel more exposed than you intended. “but seriously, take care of yourself. that sounds painful.”
her concern lingers in the air, brushing against you in a way that feels intimate, like a hand on your shoulder or the press of her fingers tracing over your skin. you shift in your chair, biting your lip as her words replay in your mind.
“and how do you suggest i do that?” the question leaves your mouth before you can catch it, hanging there like a thread pulled loose.
there’s a pause on the line, just long enough for your heart to stutter, and then she speaks. her voice drops, soft and deliberate.
“do you trust me?”
your throat tightens, and you nod instinctively, even though she can’t see you. “yeah.”
your voice is quiet, a little unsteady, but honest. and in that moment, the walls of your room feel smaller, the distance between you and billie shrinking with every word exchanged.
“i’mma need you to say it, babe.”
her voice is steady, low, and commanding, the kind of tone that roots itself in your chest and refuses to let go. even though she isn’t physically there, you feel her presence like a weight, tangible and pressing. the air around you thickens, charged with an unspoken tension.
you hesitate, your pulse thrumming wildly against your throat. “i—” the words catch, sticking to your tongue. then you swallow hard and try again. “i trust you, billie.”
“just wanna help you out, okay?”
there’s a softness in her words now, a reassurance that wraps around you like a warm blanket. you nod before realizing she can’t see you. “okay.”
“good. what are you wearing?”
her question catches you off guard, even though deep down you already sensed where this was headed. your fingers toy with the edge of your desk, and your heart kicks up a notch.
“just a t-shirt and some sleep shorts.”
the admission feels simple enough, but the way her pause lingers on the line makes your skin prickle with anticipation.
“can you lift your shirt for me?”
her words come out smooth, velvet-coated, and they sink into you like the slow pull of a tide. the apprehension you’ve been holding onto tightens, coiling low in your belly. but there’s something magnetic in her voice, something that compels you to follow.
“mhm.” your response is soft, barely audible, but you know she hears it.
your hands find the hem of your shirt, your fingers grazing the fabric. the motion is slow, deliberate, like the weight of her voice has made everything else move in molasses. you pull the shirt over your head, the cool air hitting your skin in contrast to the heat that’s creeping up your neck and chest. carefully, you fold it, laying it down on the desk beside you like it’s something sacred.
the room feels quieter now, more intimate somehow. the faint hum of the tv in the background, the occasional creak of the apartment settling—all of it fades as you wait for her voice to return.
“now i want you to rub your tits for me, be nice and gentle to them. touch your nipples and tell me what kind of jewelry you got, baby.”
her voice is like a current, slow and unrelenting, pulling you into its depths. your body responds before your mind catches up, your hands moving instinctively to the soft curve of your chest.
your fingers skim along your skin, warm and pliant, before you focus on the sensitive peaks. a sharp inhale escapes your lips as your fingertips brush over the hardened buds, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine. you tease yourself, tugging lightly, your movements deliberate yet tender.
“they’re, um—” your breath hitches, the words tumbling out unsteady. “they’re hearts, silver diamond hearts.”
you let the image sink in, your hands still working against your skin, and it feels like you’re teetering on the edge of something unspoken.
“mm—i just know they’re so pretty, how does it feel?”
her voice is low, almost a whisper, and yet it feels like it’s wrapped around you, coaxing you to give in.
“feels good, billie.” your voice is barely audible, your words coming out in a soft, breathless rush.
“i know it does, mama.”
the way she says it, smooth and confident, sends a warm flush through your body. it’s intimate, intoxicating, the kind of connection that feels like it exists in its own universe.
your hands falter slightly, your touch growing lighter as you bask in the way her words linger. the heat building under your skin seems to sync with the cadence of her voice, every syllable pressing against you like a soft, unseen touch.
you let out a quiet sigh, feeling the tension ebb and flow like waves against the shore, and for a moment, everything else fades away.
before you know it, her voice shifts, becoming softer, more intimate, like a low hum in the quiet night. her words settle over you, warm and heavy, weaving a haze you can’t escape—not that you want to. the rhythm of her voice is hypnotic, each syllable pulling you deeper into the moment, blurring the edges of your thoughts.
you let your head rest against the cool wood of your desk, eyes fluttering shut as her tone wraps around you like a secret only the two of you share.
billie’s breath hitches on her end of the line. the image of you—at your desk, bare skin glowing in the dim light, your hands exploring what she so desperately wishes she could—floods her mind. it consumes her, making her ache with a longing she’s unprepared for. her free hand trails absentmindedly to her chest, pressing lightly against her own skin as her voice dips lower.
“now i want you to touch the most sensitive parts of yourself,” she murmurs, the words rolling off her tongue like honey. “your lips, your neck. go slow, baby, there’s no rush.”
“okay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, caught between hesitation and desire.
you start at your lips, your thumb brushing over the softness, tracing their shape as if committing them to memory. the sensation is subtle but electric, and you can’t help but imagine her doing the same—her hands, her mouth, leaving trails of warmth across your skin.
your fingers drift downward, grazing the curve of your neck, lingering where your pulse flutters beneath your skin. your breath catches as you press lightly, letting the heat of the moment seep into every nerve.
you let your hands travel further, down to the valley of your chest, the softness of your skin against your fingertips grounding you even as it sets you alight. every motion feels deliberate, each touch sending ripples of warmth through you. your fingers tease the edge of your waistband, a small gasp escaping your lips as you hover there, caught between restraint and surrender.
“you’re doing so good, mama,” billie murmurs, her voice rough around the edges now, her own breathing heavier than before. “how does it feel?”
you hesitate, swallowing hard before replying. “it feels—good. it feels so good.”
her voice comes again, softer, more urgent, like she’s right there, close enough to touch. “keep going for me, yeah? take your time.”
her words push you forward, her presence on the line the only tether you need. it’s electric, raw, and completely hers.
“take off your panties for me, love.”
her words wrap around you like a velvet ribbon, smooth and enticing, tugging at something deep within you. your teeth catch your bottom lip, nerves and anticipation tangling into one as her voice lingers in your ear, low and commanding.
“oh, well, you see, i’m not wearing…any.”
you pause, letting the words hang in the air, the silence heavy with implication.
“oh?” her response is slow, deliberate, and laced with a smirk you can practically hear. “that makes everything easier then. go ahead and slide your shorts off for me.”
your hands tremble slightly as you hook your thumbs into the waistband of your shorts. you peel the fabric away from your skin, the motion slow, deliberate, almost reverent. the dampness at the center is undeniable, the evidence of your arousal making your cheeks flush. you’re thankful for the black fabric, a small mercy in an otherwise vulnerable moment.
as the shorts fall away, the cool air in the room caresses your exposed skin, sending a shiver through you. it’s like the atmosphere itself is alive, charged with the tension billie’s voice weaves around you.
“are they off?” her voice is soft but insistent, each word settling deep into your core.
“yeah, yes, they’re off,” you exhale, the words barely audible, your breath catching as you shift slightly in your chair. the air presses against your skin, the sensitivity almost too much.
“look at you,” she murmurs, her tone dripping with praise. “being such a good girl for me.”
her words hit you like a warm rush, the praise melting into your chest and pooling low in your belly. a soft moan escapes your lips before you can stop it, the sound vulnerable and raw.
the line crackles with a silence that feels anything but empty, the connection between you tangible even through the phone. it’s as if she’s right there with you, her presence wrapping around you, guiding you, pulling you closer to a kind of surrender you hadn’t anticipated.
“i want you to slowly feel the skin on your legs. stroke your inner thighs, tease yourself a little,” she whispers, her voice like silk unraveling across your skin.
you don’t hesitate, your hands gliding downward, fingers skimming over the smooth expanse of your thighs. the touch is light, tentative, as if testing the waters of your own restraint. goosebumps ripple in the wake of your movements, the coolness of the air mixing with the warmth pooling inside you.
your breath comes out uneven, a shaky exhale that echoes in the quiet room. the ache low in your stomach intensifies, spreading like a slow burn, and you can’t help but press your thighs together for even the smallest semblance of relief.
“like this?” your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, but the need in it is unmistakable.
“just like that,” billie purrs, her tone soothing yet commanding, each word pushing you further into the haze she’s crafted. “take your time. let your fingers linger. don’t rush it, love.”
your hands obey without thought, fingertips trailing along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. the sensation is electric, every nerve ending alive and sparking under your touch. you let your fingers wander, brushing higher, closer, teasing yourself with a deliberate slowness that borders on torture.
the tension in your body coils tighter with every passing second, and a small whimper escapes your lips. it feels as though the distance between you and billie is nonexistent, her presence palpable even through the thin crackle of the phone line.
“you feel good, don’t you?” her voice dips lower, rich and smoky. “i bet you’re dripping for me already.”
her words make you gasp softly, your body arching involuntarily as her confidence washes over you. she knows exactly what she’s doing, her tone laced with equal parts encouragement and command, pulling you deeper into the moment.
your fingers falter for a second, trembling as the ache inside you becomes almost unbearable. you bite your lip, the metallic taste grounding you briefly as your mind swims in the intoxicating warmth of her guidance.
“god, i wish i could see you right now. i know you look so good, thighs spread apart, pussy all glistening and wet— all because of me.”
her voice is molten, dripping with desire, and it feels like it wraps around you, constricting and coaxing you all at once. her words settle low in your stomach, feeding the fire that’s been building steadily, threatening to consume you.
“billie, please…” the plea escapes your lips in a shaky breath, barely audible, as your body trembles under the weight of her voice.
“want me to fuck you?” she asks, her tone soft yet firm, a tease wrapped in promise.
“mhm.” the sound is a desperate whimper, raw and unfiltered, and your nails dig into the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, an attempt to anchor yourself as your mind spirals deeper into the heat of her words.
the room feels smaller, the air heavier. every sound, every creak of the chair, every whisper of breath feels amplified, blending into the symphony of your need. your thighs ache from the tension, the pressure of your own touch almost unbearable as your body responds to her commands.
you can picture her smirk on the other end of the line, that knowing, cocky curve of her lips, and it sends a shiver racing down your spine. it’s maddening how her presence can fill a space she isn’t even in, how her voice alone can undo you piece by piece.
“good girl,” she murmurs, her praise sending a jolt through your chest, straight to the core of you. “keep going, don’t stop now. i want to hear all those pretty little sounds you make.”
her words feel like a tether and a push all at once, keeping you grounded even as they push you further out of control. your breath hitches, a quiet moan slipping past your lips, your body moving instinctively, chasing the release she’s guiding you toward.
the way she says ‘good girl’ loops in your mind, a mantra that fuels every movement of your hands, every desperate whimper that escapes your lips. the ache inside you grows sharper, an unbearable tension building and building, and all you can think about is her.
“shit- go ahead and touch yourself baby, wanna hear how wet you are.”
taking your index and your middle finger, you spread your folds apart, before you dip your middle finger to touch your slit. coating your finger in your salivating ecstasy, you swipe up and down on your pussy. the sound of your slick wetness echoing throughout the room. touching your bundle of nerves your rub it in circle motions, pushing down on it just slightly to get the right amount of friction.
billie closed her eyes and tries to steady her breathing as she hears you on the other end, practically begging her to fuck you. and she wish she could do it too, take her time with you to touch you properly and to make you come undone as many times as she wanted to.
“oh my, fuck babe.” a string of curse words slips from billie’s lips, and you can feel her breath hitch through the line. there’s something about hearing her react that sends a shiver down your spine, and you can tell that the sound of your moans and the atmosphere in the room have her completely captivated. every sound you make, every little shift, she’s there with you in it, even if it’s through the phone.
billie shifts, her voice quieter now, like she’s trying to keep herself steady. “i want to feel you so bad… but for now, this will have to do,” she murmurs, her words trailing off with longing. lying on her bed she sat up against her head board, shoving her hands down her sweats and playing with her own clit, the pads of her pointer and middle finger gently rub steady, figure 8's against her nub as she tried to match your pace.
you imagine her lying back, the soft glow of her room casting faint shadows, just the sound of her voice filling the space. you know she’s doing the same thing you are — wanting to be closer, but for now, savoring the distance in the only way she can.
your eyes squeeze shut at the thought, the image of billie crystal clear in your mind. she’s on her knees, her lips slightly parted, her tongue teasing and deliberate. her thumb would press against your most sensitive spot, slow circles coaxing pleasure from you as her eyes stay fixed on yours, sharp and unwavering, like she’s committing every flicker of your expression to memory. you’d tangle your fingers in her soft hair, pulling her closer, feeling the heat of her breath against your skin, every moment searing itself into your mind.
a low moan slips past your lips, involuntary and raw, as you shift in place, letting the image take over. the ache inside you grows, pressing against the edges of your composure, and you can’t help but imagine how her touch would feel—how every word she’s murmured would finally come to life under her fingertips.
“you’re so perfect,” billie’s voice hums through the speaker, her tone soft but rough around the edges, laced with the kind of restraint that makes your heart pound harder. “keep going, baby. let me hear you.”
her own breathing hitches slightly on the other end, breaking the rhythm of her steady voice. it’s as if she’s right there with you, matching the pace, letting the connection between you stretch taut like a thread pulled to its breaking point. the sound of her—soft curses under her breath, the quiet rasp of her voice—sends shivers along your skin, and it’s almost too much.
the room feels charged, the air thick with a tension you can’t name but don’t want to escape from. every word she says pulls you deeper, every second on the line feels like a lifetime wrapped in her presence, and for now, that’s enough.
“holy shit. you sound so fucking good for me. so fucking perfect.”
her words spill through the phone, low and gravelly, threading through the quiet of your room. each syllable feels like a caress against your skin, pulling you deeper into the moment, and your fingers obey without hesitation, working in rhythm with her praise.
“feels so good, billie, fuck. you feel so good.” the words tumble out of you, shaky and raw, your voice catching on the edges of your breath.
“wish i was there so i could help you, baby.”
it’s then you notice it—her breathing, uneven and rushed, broken by faint, muffled sounds. you hadn’t really picked up on it before, but now it’s all you can focus on. the soft, rhythmic moans slipping through the line, the faint wet sounds beneath her breath, as if she’s right there with you, mirroring your every movement.
your chest tightens at the thought, a spark of heat running through you. the ache builds, sharp and unrelenting, driving your fingers to move faster, each motion more desperate than the last. the air around you feels heavy, charged with anticipation, and every inhale is shallow, quick, feeding the fire that billie’s voice has set ablaze.
“oh baby, billie—i’m gonna—please—just—fuck,” you whine, your voice breaking with the force of it all, your words spilling over each other in a rush. they don’t make sense, but nothing does in this moment except the way she makes you feel.
“that’s it, baby,” her voice trembles, heavy with want and barely contained restraint. “let go for me, love.”
and that was it. the sharp edge of release tore through you, pulling a low, penetrating moan from your lips. your body trembled as waves of heat rolled over you, your fingers working instinctively to draw out every last ounce of pleasure. billie’s name fell from your mouth like a prayer, soft yet desperate, as you made a mess of yourself, utterly unraveled.
your chest heaved, the rise and fall rapid as you tried to steady your breath. the world around you felt hazy, distant, like everything had faded into the background except for the sound of her voice spilling through the line.
“good job, baby, you did so good for me,” she murmured, her tone soft and full of pride. on the other end, you could hear her breathing too, uneven and ragged, her words laced with the remnants of her own high. her praise wrapped around you like a warm blanket, grounding you, until—
she says your name. not just your name but the one that feels heavy, official. the one you thought she didn’t know. it rolls off her tongue like it belongs there, smooth and deliberate, shattering the fragile bubble you’d built between the two of you.
your heart stops. your breath catches. a chill races up your spine. “what did you just say?”
silence follows, thick and suffocating, stretching out like a chasm between you.
“nothing,” she quips, too quickly, the edge of something unreadable in her voice.
your tone sharpens, cutting through the quiet. “billie.” it’s a warning, low and steady, but laced with an undercurrent of unease.
her next words are quiet, almost hesitant, yet certain in a way that makes the floor feel like it’s slipping out from under you.
“i know it’s you.”
the world tilts, panic surging in your chest like a tidal wave. heat floods your face, and suddenly the room feels too small, too suffocating. “i—i have to go,” you stammer, the words spilling from your lips without thought. with shaking hands, you rip the headset off, your pulse thundering in your ears as you end the call.
the silence that follows is deafening, but your heart continues to pound, the realization settling over you like a weight.
you sit there, frozen, staring blankly at the wall as your mind races in a chaotic loop. how could she know? what does this mean? the questions tumble over each other, relentless, leaving no room for answers. leaning back in your chair, your eyes dart around the room, searching for anything to ground you, but instead, they land on the vanity mirror across from you.
your breath catches. there it is. that damn butterfly tattoo etched delicately behind your ear, its wings trailing faintly onto the side of your neck—a design you often forget about until moments like this. the same tattoo she had been staring at earlier today, her gaze lingering just a beat too long.
with an aggravated huff, you reach out and spin the mirror around, unable to look at it any longer. the sight feels accusatory now, a reminder of your slip, your vulnerability. you shove the chair back with a screech and hurry to the bathroom, the need to cleanse yourself and your space overwhelming. the cool water against your skin is sharp, but it doesn’t quiet your spiraling thoughts.
as you clean the chair and pull your clothes back on, the fog in your mind thickens. panic churns in your chest, mingling with an odd cocktail of shame and unease. you know she didn’t mean to make you feel this way, but the weight of it lingers all the same.
then, your phone buzzes, yanking you from the haze. the screen lights up with another call, but your focus is fractured. with trembling fingers, you force yourself to answer, masking your nerves with the practiced ease of someone who knows how to play their role.
meanwhile, across the city, billie is pacing her room, her hands raking through her hair, disheveling the strands until they’re as chaotic as her thoughts. she knows she’s messed up—badly—and the regret is gnawing at her. she grabs her phone and dials the hotline again, but there’s no answer, only an echoing silence that fuels her desperation.
unable to sit with her guilt, she opens the app and sends a payment—your expected earnings for the session she interrupted, plus a tip. the amount is significant, but it feels insignificant compared to the words she can’t seem to say. she types out a brief note to accompany it: “i’m sorry. can we talk tomorrow?” her finger hovers over the send button before she taps it, watching the transaction disappear into the void.
you, however, keep moving through the night, each call leaving you feeling more drained than the last. panic still lingers in the corners of your mind, intertwined with the sting of dejection and the unsettling sense of vulnerability. though you remind yourself that her intentions weren’t malicious, the leftover shock clings stubbornly, refusing to fade.
finally, after what feels like an eternity, you decide you’ve made enough for the night. with an exhausted sigh, you shut down the hotline, the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. the room falls into darkness as you flick off the lights, retreating to your bed and mindlessly flipping through channels, hoping for distraction.
but then, the soft chime of your phone breaks the silence.
new transactions — 3:15 am
+1 (310) 807-3956 (los angeles, ca) - $350.00 + $550 tip, notes: “i’m sorry. can we talk tomorrow?”
+1 (254) 783-0184 (dallas, TX) - $79.72
+1 (980) 598-7201 (charlotte, NC) - $153.68
+1 (201) 508-3416 (bayonne, NJ) - $220.65
+1 (216) 347-0517 (cleveland, OH) - $37.54 + $35 tip
your eyes skim over the notifications, your attention halting at the first one. you know it’s her. your chest tightens, a mix of gratitude and hesitation washing over you. the tip is generous, overly so, but you can’t bring yourself to reply. not now.
with a sigh, you lock your phone and set it face down on the nightstand, the screen now dark and unyielding. rolling onto your side, you close your eyes and try to will yourself to sleep, but the thoughts keep creeping back in, tangled and persistent.
the night stretches on, heavy and endless.
friday 8:45 am —
the next morning drifts by in a haze, the weight of the night before pressing into your chest like a stone. billie’s slip-up loops endlessly in your mind, her voice saying your name with the kind of familiarity that shouldn’t exist. it feels like a quiet earthquake, shifting everything beneath your feet and leaving you unsteady.
but the day doesn’t care about your turmoil. you have a packed schedule: the forensics seminar in san diego is a top priority, and you can’t afford to let your personal life bleed into your professional one.
the seminar stretches on far longer than expected, the clock’s hands spinning faster than they should. presentations drone, conversations pile up, and you lose track of time between networking and handshakes. by the time you finally make it to your car, you’re already behind. your first day as billie’s ta looms, and you’re cutting it dangerously close.
frustration bubbles in your chest as you toss your heels onto the passenger seat and swap them for your sneakers. the drive back to los angeles feels like a blur, the highway unwinding like a taut ribbon, city lights flickering in your periphery.
when you arrive on campus, you’re out of breath, your sneakers tightly laced, your bag slung over one shoulder. the music department’s doors creak as you push them open, the sound echoing in the stillness of the hallway. billie’s office waits at the end, her name etched on the placard beside the door.
you steel yourself as you approach, forcing your posture to straighten and your expression to settle into something neutral. you can’t afford to let last night’s mess seep into today.
when you step inside, billie looks up from her desk, a polite but cautious smile flickering across her face. she cradles a mug of tea in her hands, the steam curling up in soft tendrils.
“you made it,” she says softly, her voice careful, like she’s testing the waters.
“yeah,” you mumble, your voice flat as you drop your bag onto the chair nearest the door.
she gestures toward the kettle on a side table. “i made some tea if you want.”
you shake your head. “no, thanks.”
the silence that follows is thick and awkward, settling over the room like a dense fog. you take a seat and reach for the stack of papers she’s prepared, diving into the grading without so much as a glance in her direction. your pen moves methodically, the scratching of ink against paper the only sound breaking the stillness.
billie tries to bridge the gap with small talk, her tone light but tentative. “how was the seminar?”
“fine,” you reply curtly, not looking up.
“did you learn anything new?”
“not really.”
then she says something that makes your hand pause mid-motion, the words slipping out so softly they almost disappear into the air between you.
“you look pretty.”
the warmth of her voice lingers, curling around you like smoke, uninvited but hard to ignore. for a moment, your resolve falters, heat rising unbidden to your cheeks.
“thanks,” you murmur, forcing the words out before returning to the papers in front of you. your hand moves faster now, as if the quicker you work, the less you’ll feel.
the air grows heavier with every clipped response, every wall you put up. you feel her eyes on you—watching, waiting—but you refuse to meet her gaze. instead, you pull out your phone, scrolling aimlessly through instagram, letting the stream of curated stories and fleeting glimpses into other people’s lives distract you from the weight of your own.
you wish you’d said yes to carson yesterday. you imagine yourself anywhere but here, laughing over drinks or walking aimlessly through the city, free from this suffocating room and its unspoken tension.
your phone finds its way back to the desk, face down, the screen going dark like the mood in the room. you shuffle through the stack of papers, forcing your focus back to the words in front of you, but your mind keeps drifting. billie’s presence sits heavy, her silence louder than anything she could say.
the papers in front of you blur, the words melting into indistinguishable smudges as your pen moves mindlessly across the page. the ticking clock on the wall grows louder with each second, the steady rhythm grating against your nerves. billie’s presence feels suffocating, her quiet, measured breaths and those occasional glances prickling at your skin like needles. no matter how much you try, you can’t shake the feeling of her eyes on you. still, you keep yours trained on the stack of papers, determined to maintain a veneer of professionalism.
the silence between you is brittle, threatening to crack. it’s billie who finally breaks it, her voice soft but resolute. “are we going to talk about it?”
“talk about what?” you respond, keeping your tone as even as you can, your gaze fixed on the paper beneath your pen.
“you know what i mean.”
your fingers tighten around the pen, and you press it harder against the page, the words blurring even more. “there’s nothing to talk about.”
she exhales, and the sound carries frustration, an edge you’re not sure you’re ready to face. “you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“i can, actually,” you reply sharply, the bitterness in your tone slipping out before you can stop it.
“no, you don’t,” you say, louder this time, your voice firm, unyielding.
the next words that leave her mouth hit like a slap. “quit acting like a dick.”
your pen freezes mid-stroke, the ink bleeding into the paper. your head snaps up, and you glare at her, the tension between you thick enough to choke on. “excuse me?”
billie doesn’t back down. she crosses her arms, leaning slightly forward, her posture tense. “you heard me. we’ve been talking for weeks, and now, after one awkward call, you’re acting like i don’t exist.”
a bitter laugh escapes your lips as you scoff, shaking your head. “it’s not that simple.”
her gaze sharpens, her blue eyes piercing through your defenses. “then explain it to me,” she presses, her tone walking the tightrope between firm and gentle. “because from where i’m sitting, it looks like you’re punishing me for something that caught both of us off guard.”
her words dig under your skin, unearthing emotions you’ve tried to bury since last night. frustration bubbles over, spilling into your voice. “it’s not just that, billie,” you snap, the pen slipping from your fingers as you lean back in your chair. “you called me by my name. my name. you knew who i was this whole time, and you didn’t say anything. do you even understand how messed up that feels?”
her shoulders slump slightly, and her expression shifts, guilt softening the sharp lines of her face. “look,” she starts, her voice quiet now, tinged with regret. “i know it’s weird. i know i screwed up. and i’m sorry for what i did—how i handled it. i should’ve told you the moment i recognized you, but i didn’t know how. i didn’t want to scare you off. but can we stop pretending like this is something it’s not?”
you blink, the weight of her words settling heavily in the air between you. her gaze is steady, unwavering, and there’s something vulnerable in the way she looks at you, like she’s peeling back layers she’d rather keep hidden.
she shifts forward, resting her arms on the desk, the smallest flicker of hope breaking through her hesitation. “let me make it up to you. dinner, my place, my treat. no games. just you and me talking. figuring this out.”
you hesitate, her voice hanging in the space between you like an open door. her sincerity wraps around you, tugging at the edges of your resolve.
your lips part as if to respond, but the words stall in your throat. the clock ticks on, and for a moment, the room is silent again, the kind of silence that feels like it could break at any second.
“dinner?” you repeat, your voice laced with skepticism, narrowing your eyes as if the word itself might betray some hidden meaning.
“yes, dinner,” she replies, her voice softer now, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, delicate like a promise hanging in the air.
you study her, eyes tracing the lines of her face, the subtle shift in her posture as she waits for your response. it’s a soft invitation, yet you can’t shake the weight of everything that’s been unsaid. after a long, pregnant pause, you finally sigh, the tension in your chest letting out with the exhale. you push back your chair, the screech of it against the floor sharp in the quiet room. “fine. but this doesn’t mean we’re good.”
billie’s smile falters for a moment but quickly steadies, her nodding serious and thoughtful. “fair enough. but it’s a start.”
the silence settles between you, a thick, almost tangible thing as you gather your things. her presence lingers in the room, and though she tries to mask it with the faintest smile, the tension that hangs between you is nearly suffocating. you sling your bag over your shoulder, your hand brushing against your phone before you glance at it absentmindedly, letting it slip back into your bag as you head for the door.
the rain greets you before you’ve even stepped outside—a heavy, relentless downpour that blurs the view through the glass doors, transforming the world into a watery smear. you pause, groaning softly, the cold air that seeps through the doorframe making your skin prickle. you glance at your car parked on the far side of the lot, the distance mocking you. of course, it had to rain today.
“you’re not seriously planning to drive in this, are you?” billie’s voice drifts toward you, a note of concern threading through her words as she steps closer.
“i’ll be fine,” you respond quickly, clutching your bag tighter as if it could shield you from the storm that’s waiting to soak you through.
billie steps into your space, the jangle of her keys cutting through the tension between you like a knife. “i’ll drive you.”
you turn to face her, shaking your head in reflex. “that’s not necessary—”
“it’s pouring out there,” she interrupts, her voice more insistent now, the firm edge of authority slipping through. “you can barely see five feet ahead. i’m driving.”
you hesitate, biting back a retort as the sound of the rain intensifies, slamming against the roof like a million tiny fists. it’s a losing battle. the rain’s not letting up, and as much as you hate the thought of being trapped in a confined space with her, you know she’s right.
“okay,” you mutter, your voice thick with reluctant acceptance. “but this doesn’t mean anything.”
billie chuckles, a low, quiet sound that wraps around the words you’d just said. she shakes her head as she opens the door for you, the soft creak of it almost drowned out by the rain. “whatever you say.”
the ride to billie’s house is quiet, save for the rhythmic patter of rain against the roof, the sound almost hypnotic in its repetition. the low hum of the heater fills the car, but it can’t seem to chase the chill away. you keep your eyes fixed on the window, watching as the city lights smear into streaks, the glow of them soft and distant against the blackened night. billie’s hands rest on the steering wheel, her fingers tapping lightly, a subtle movement that betrays the rhythm she’s hearing in her head.
“you okay over there?” her voice cuts through the silence, soft and tentative.
“i’m fine,” you reply curtly, your gaze never leaving the blurred world outside, unwilling to meet her eyes.
billie doesn’t push, her focus shifting back to the road ahead. you can feel the weight of her unspoken words pressing in the space between you, but she doesn’t say anything more. when she finally pulls into the driveway of her house, the rain is still coming down in sheets, relentless, unforgiving. she parks the car, the engine’s hum dying as she cuts it off. for a beat, there’s only the sound of the rain, a quiet, natural backdrop to the tension that clings to both of you.
she turns to face you, her eyes steady, searching, but she doesn’t speak.
“wait here,” she says, her voice a quiet command as she grabs an umbrella from the backseat. with a swift motion, she steps into the downpour, her silhouette swallowed by the rain for a brief moment before she circles around the car, opening your door. the umbrella hovers above you, a delicate shield against the storm. the gesture catches you off guard, something soft in it that you hadn’t expected, but you mumble a quiet thanks, stepping out and letting her guide you, her presence warm against the cold night, toward the front door.
inside, you take in your surroundings, your eyes tracing the clean lines of the sleek, modern design of billie’s home. every corner seems intentional, every surface polished. the walls are lined with awards, their golden surfaces catching the soft, ambient light, gleaming proudly like trophies of a life lived in the spotlight. you swallow a quiet surprise, suddenly feeling out of place.
“so, you are rich,” you mutter under your breath, the words slipping out before you can stop them, the weight of them hanging in the air.
billie’s soft laugh meets your ears, a musical sound that feels oddly comforting in this unfamiliar space. “i wouldn’t say rich,” she replies with a shrug, leading you further inside. “comfortable, maybe.”
before you can muster a response, the soft pattering of paws against the hardwood floor catches your attention. a gray pit bull pads over, his tail wagging enthusiastically, his nose already working overtime as he sniffs at you curiously, his eyes bright and welcoming.
“shark,” billie says with affection, her voice warm as she crouches down to scratch behind his ears, the bond between them clear in the way she speaks. “he’s friendly.”
you lower yourself to the dog’s level, extending your hand so he can get a proper sniff. when he finally accepts you, his head tilts slightly, and you give him a gentle scratch behind the ears. “hey, big guy,” you murmur, the smile pulling at the corners of your mouth as his tail wags harder, thumping against the floor in a rhythm that feels oddly like approval.
when you stand, you catch billie watching you. her gaze is intense, but there’s something there—something unreadable—that makes your chest tighten. she quickly looks away, clearing her throat as if trying to shake off a thought. “wine?” she offers, her voice casual, though there’s a subtle vulnerability in the gesture, as if the invitation is both a question and a subtle apology.
you nod, and she pours two glasses of deep burgundy red wine, the liquid catching the light as it fills the glasses, a dark promise in each drop. she hands you one before moving toward the kitchen. “i was thinking we could cook something simple. nothing fancy,” she adds, her voice laced with an easy kind of familiarity.
you follow her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she opens the fridge. she stares at its contents for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly as if the answer to some silent question isn’t immediately obvious. a defeated sigh escapes her, the vulnerability in it making you pause.
“i honestly don’t know what i’m doing,” she admits, the words tinged with an unexpected embarrassment, her voice soft but sincere.
you smirk, your gaze fixed on her for a beat, before you set your glass down with a quiet clink. “need some help?” you ask, the playful edge to your voice masking the way her admission makes you feel, like you’ve just uncovered something real.
she glances at you, her eyes flickering with something you can’t quite place, before a faint look of relief spreads across her features. “yeah,” she says with a small, shy smile. “that’d be great.”
you gesture to your outfit, feeling suddenly self-conscious in the space. “do you have something i can change into?” you ask, your voice quiet. “i don’t want to ruin this.”
she blinks in surprise, then nods. “oh, yeah, of course,” she says quickly, before disappearing down a hallway. when she returns, she’s holding a pair of sweats and a hoodie, the soft fabric a far cry from the sleek, polished atmosphere of her home. “here,” she offers, her voice gentle, but there’s a warmth in the way she looks at you as if she’s seeing you—really seeing you—for the first time tonight.
you change in the guest bathroom, the soft fabric of billie’s sweats and hoodie carrying the faint, comforting scent of her detergent. it lingers around you, mixing with the quiet hum of the house as you slip back into the kitchen. when you re-enter, billie’s eyes flicker over to you, a fleeting moment of something unreadable in her gaze, but it lingers just a second too long.
“you clean up nice,” she teases, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her lips, her voice light but edged with something you can’t quite place.
you shrug, rolling up your sleeves, the fabric brushing your forearms. “shut up and start chopping those veggies,” you reply, a hint of challenge in your voice, but there’s a softness to it, too.
as the two of you work, the tension from earlier seems to dissolve, like fog lifting under the morning sun. easy conversation flows between you, and the kitchen, with its warm lighting and rhythmic sounds of chopping, feels more like home with each passing moment. you tell her about your ups and downs as a college student—the late-night study sessions, the sneaky runs past your RA’s when you had to hide things you weren’t supposed to have. you share how you were a cheerleader only because of your best friend, and how, despite your excitement to graduate, there’s a gnawing fear deep down—because school, for all its stress and chaos, is all you’ve ever known.
billie listens intently, her eyes fixed on you, absorbing every word as she watches you bring a pot of water to a boil, adding a pinch of salt, and then sprinkling in the penne noodles with practiced ease. her gaze flickers from your eyes down the line of your nose, tracing the curve to your lips—glossy, slightly parted as you speak—and then to the tattoo peeking out from behind your ear. she finally makes out the design—a swirl of blue and black butterflies etched into your skin, delicate and intricate.
it’s funny, but in that moment, she realizes she’s feeling like those butterflies—fluttering around in her chest, her stomach tight with something she can’t name. watching you in her kitchen, making dinner in her clothes, feeling like you belonged in this space, made her feel… domesticated. it was a feeling she wasn’t used to, something scary but good.
“are you just gonna watch, or are you gonna help too?” your voice breaks the quiet as you turn to look at her. your eyes catch hers, a spark of mischief in the air between you, before she crosses her arms over her chest, leaning casually against the corner countertop to the right of you.
“nah,” she smirks, her gaze flickering over you with a softness that doesn’t quite match the playful tone of her words. “you seem to be doing just fine.”
her hand reaches for her glass, bringing the wine to her lips. it’s a moment of indulgence, a slow sip that fills her senses with its velvety smoothness. there’s a burst of ripe, dark fruit on her tongue—blackberries, plums, black cherries—interwoven with subtle notes of red currants and raspberries. the taste, rich and elegant, almost too perfect for this moment, feels like it’s been made for her.
with a dramatic roll of your eyes, you grab a knife, holding it out playfully. the tip points at her, aimed at her stomach. “chop,” you say, a teasing edge to your voice as you wave the knife between her and the cutting board sitting on your left. “go on.”
with an exaggerated huff, billie snatches the knife from your hand and moves over to the chopping board, a flicker of defiance in her eyes. you turn your attention back to the sauce, rifling through her spice cabinet with a sense of purpose until you find the seasonings you need. you set them on the counter, the familiar weight of the bottles grounding you in the task at hand, but you can still feel her presence—like a quiet hum in the room.
turning on the burner, you grab a smaller pot and set it on the stove, tossing in the ingredients for the pasta sauce, the scent of garlic and tomatoes filling the air as you give it a gentle stir.
“shit—” you hear billie say, her voice tinged with frustration. glancing over, you see her holding a knife the wrong way, hovering over a green bell pepper like it’s some sort of adversary she’s unsure how to defeat.
“okay, stop,” you say, setting your spoon down and walking over to her. “you’re going to hurt yourself.”
billie chuckles, stepping back with her hands up in mock surrender. “i told you i don’t know what i’m doing. you’re the one who offered to help.”
you roll your eyes, but the faint smile tugging at your lips betrays the irritation you’re trying to suppress. “hand me the knife.”
she obliges, her fingers releasing the blade with a soft sigh as she leans back against the counter. you take it from her, the cool handle fitting easily in your hand, and begin slicing the bell pepper with practiced ease. her gaze is unwavering, like she’s studying you—watching every movement you make, as though your hands hold some kind of secret she’s trying to unravel.
“stop staring at me,” you mutter, without looking up from your work.
“can’t help it,” billie replies lightly, her voice almost like a tease. “you’re kind of fascinating.”
you pause mid-slice, glancing up at her. the look in her eyes is softer now, less playful, more… something else. something that makes your stomach twist in ways you’re not sure you like, a fluttering feeling that you can’t quite place.
“focus,” you murmur, turning your attention back to the vegetables, hoping the distraction will keep your mind from wandering.
billie chuckles softly, her presence like a quiet hum behind you. she moves closer, her body edging up to yours until she’s standing just behind you. her hand brushes against your waist—delicate, light, but enough to send a small shock through you as she leans in closer to watch you work. you slice the pepper into thin, even pieces, the knife gliding through with ease. you reach for a piece and turn slightly, offering it to her.
instead of taking it from your hand, like you expect, billie angles her head down. her lips brush against the tips of your fingers as she slides the pepper into her mouth, her eyes holding yours in a quiet challenge. you freeze, heart skipping a beat, watching the way she lingers just a second too long.
“is it good?” you ask, your voice quieter than you mean it to be.
“yeah, thank you.” her voice is soft, a low hum that sends a thrill down your spine. at this point, her hands have found their place on your waist, steadying herself as she lingers close. before you can process it, she presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, the brush of her lips light but warm. the world seems to slow, and you freeze, the knife hovering mid-air over the cutting board.
“i—” billie starts, pulling back quickly, her breath catching as she realizes what she’s done. “shit, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean—”
“no, it’s okay,” you interrupt, your voice soft, almost a whisper. the words come out before you can stop them, and there’s an honesty in your tone that surprises you. “i… kinda liked it.”
billie’s eyes search yours, her gaze searching for something you’re not sure you’re ready to give. there’s hesitation there, a quiet storm of uncertainty in her expression. after a beat, she nods, her hands lingering on your waist for just a moment longer before she steps back, her touch slipping away like water through your fingers.
you continue making dinner, the soft sizzle of the sauce simmering filling the kitchen as you stir occasionally. the rhythm of the task is soothing, the casual clink of utensils against the pan blending with the low hum of conversation. you find yourself laughing at billie’s dry wit, and for the first time, it doesn’t feel forced, just two people sharing space and time.
dinner is served shortly after, and the two of you settle at the small dining table, the warm light overhead casting soft shadows around the room. the atmosphere is relaxed, easy—surprisingly so. billie is funny, her sarcastic quips balanced by moments of genuine curiosity about you. her questions are casual, but there’s something deeper beneath them, an earnestness that feels refreshing.
“so,” she says, taking a sip of her wine, “why forensics?”
you shrug, twirling a piece of meat on your fork, contemplating your answer. “i’ve always liked puzzles. figuring things out, piecing them together. plus, it’s practical. there’s always work for someone who can solve problems.”
billie nods thoughtfully, her eyes narrowing slightly as she considers your words. “makes sense. seems like you’re good at that—figuring things out.”
her words hang in the air for a moment, and you can’t tell if she’s talking about more than just your career. her gaze softens, and you look down, focusing on your plate, suddenly aware of how close she is, how much weight is in that quiet compliment.
“what about you?” you ask, finally breaking the silence, your voice steady but curious.
“what about me?” billie tilts her head, a playful edge to her tone.
“why did you become a teacher? you clearly don’t need the money, so tell me.” you pause, laying your fork down and resting your elbows on the table, folding your hands together and propping your head up on them. “don’t hold back.”
billie huffs out a light laugh, twirling her fork slowly on her plate, the motion almost absentminded as she takes her time answering. “uh… well, music’s always been something i’ve loved. and i will love it till the day i die. but the fame that came along with it…” she trails off with a deep sigh, her eyes flicking down to her plate. “that wasn’t something i necessarily loved. don’t get me wrong, i love my supporters and i’m forever grateful for them, but at times it would get overwhelming. i suppose…”
her gaze shifts away from you, her focus distant as she stirs the food on her plate. it’s as though she’s not just talking to you but to herself, too. her words are soft, laced with a kind of exhaustion that speaks of a life lived too quickly. “just kinda got burned out too quick and i wanted to disappear for a while. but i still wanted to actively share music with others—besides, you know, my friends and family and such. so i took some online classes, got my teaching license, and my mom told me a job was open at the university, so i took it.”
a beat passes as you take in her words, and you can’t help but wonder what it must be like, having to leave behind something that once lit you up because the world took too much from you. it’s hard to imagine, but you get it, in a way.
“would you ever publish music again?” you ask, the question floating between you two like a breath.
billie leans in slightly, her voice dropping as if she’s about to reveal a secret. “i’ve actually been working on something,” she says, her smile contagious, her eyes lighting up. “i can show you later.” she clears her throat, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms, trying to play it off as no big deal. “i mean, if you want. it doesn’t matter.”
you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. “i would like that. a lot.”
the conversation moves easily after that, with billie washing the dishes while you dry them, not letting her refuse your offer. you laugh at her protests, the rhythm of it a kind of unspoken dance you both slip into. there’s a comfortable silence between you, broken only by the occasional clink of glass or the soft hum of the running water.
once the dishes are done, billie suggests watching a movie. you hesitate, glancing at the clock, but ultimately agree. you settle onto the couch with a glass of wine in hand, the cool glass offering a little relief as you sip and settle into the cushions. the movie plays in the background, but neither of you is really paying attention. the sound of the film blends with the quiet, comfortable hum of each other’s presence, and it feels as though the world outside could just slip away for a while.
billie sits close—closer than she needs to. her arm rests casually on the back of the couch, her fingers brushing lightly against your shoulder. you try to ignore it, focusing on the screen, but it’s impossible not to feel the heat radiating from her, a subtle electricity in the air between you.
“can i ask you something?” she says suddenly, her voice low and quiet, barely above the hum of the movie.
you glance at her, your heart skipping a beat. “what?”
“can i kiss you?”
the question catches you off guard, like a breath you didn’t know you were holding. you blink, your mind racing. “i—”
“it’s okay if you don’t want to,” billie adds quickly, her voice softer now, pulling back just slightly. “i just… i wanted to ask.”
you don’t know why, but you nod. maybe it’s the wine, or maybe it’s the way she’s looking at you—her blue eyes soft, earnest, like she’s searching for something in you that she’s not sure of. it feels like the right thing to do, even if your heart is suddenly pounding in your chest.
billie leans in slowly, a fraction of an inch at a time, her movements deliberate, giving you time to pull away if you wanted to. when her lips finally meet yours, it’s soft, tentative—like she’s testing the waters, unsure but hopeful. your breath hitches, caught in the moment, and for a brief second, you forget how to move.
but then you’re kissing her back, your hands finding their way to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer as the kiss deepens, soft and searching. it’s like the world narrows to just the two of you, everything else fading into the background.
one kiss turns into two, then three, until you’re both breathless, tangled in each other. billie pulls back slightly, her forehead resting against yours, her breath warm against your skin.
“come with me,” she murmurs, her voice a low, coaxing whisper, her hand finding yours and gently leading you down the hall.
her bedroom is dimly lit, the faint glow of a bedside lamp casting long shadows across the room. everything in here feels like an extension of her—a chaotic yet comfortable blend of soft fabrics, scattered music sheets, and mismatched furniture that somehow all comes together. a record player hums quietly in the corner, its melody filling the space with a quiet intimacy.
she turns to you, her hands resting on your waist as she searches your face for any sign of hesitation. you reach up, your fingers grazing her cheek gently, hoping to ease the worry that flickers in her eyes. leaning close, your breath ghosts over her lips, your nose brushing against her own, the air warm between you two. your eyes flicker to hers, a silent question hanging there—are you sure?
her left hand slides to the side of your neck, her thumb tracing the curve of your jaw before she pulls you closer, her lips brushing against yours again. this kiss is deeper, more insistent. her tongue swipes over your bottom lip, soft and teasing, before gently nipping at the skin, asking for permission. you open your mouth slightly, giving her access, and she takes it, her kiss hungry and tender all at once.
she trails soft kisses from the corner of your lips down your throat, each one sending a shiver through you. your hands find their way to the back of her neck, pulling her closer, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath your fingers. her hand leaves your neck, moving to rest on your hip as she begins to trail her lips down, marking your skin with slow, wet kisses.
you gasp softly as she moves, her lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. she pulls back just slightly, meeting your lips again in another kiss, this one more urgent, as if the world outside has ceased to exist. her hands slide beneath your hoodie, the cold metal of her rings brushing against your side, a sharp contrast to the warmth of her touch. your breath catches as she pulls you closer, her body pressing against yours, each touch feeling like it has a life of its own.
she grabs the hem of your hoodie, lifting the fabric slowly, her fingers grazing the skin of your abdomen as it slips over your head, leaving you in just your bra. the cold air of her room nips at your bare skin, sending a shiver down your spine.
“so beautiful,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper, reverence in every word. her hands are back on you in an instant, sliding up your back until they rest just beneath the band of your bra, her touch tender and warm.
her compliment stirs something inside you, a small, involuntary smile curling on your lips. you reach for the collar of her shirt, fingers trembling ever so slightly as you gently undo the buttons one by one, taking your time.
billie watches you, her gaze softening as you brush your thumb across her collarbones. she feels a warmth in her chest that’s unfamiliar yet comforting. you let your hands trail over her chest, down her stomach, stopping at the hem of her blue shirt. your eyes meet hers, a silent question in the softness of your gaze, asking for permission. she nods, her eyes flickering with something deeper.
her breath catches in her throat as you move, tender and deliberate, as though each movement is a quiet reverence for her. you reach for her chains, your fingers sliding beneath them to tuck the necklaces inside her shirt, and then you lift her blue polo over her head, the fabric sliding against her skin. you toss it to the side, leaving her in only a simple white undershirt.
a soft smile plays at her lips, one that’s almost shy, before she presses her palm gently to your cheek. without thinking, you lean into her touch, your breath catching at the intimacy of the moment. she leans in again, her lips finding yours, and a low groan escapes her as she feels the softness of your lips against hers, the warmth between you two pulsing.
her hand slides down to the drawstring of your sweats, tugging them gently as she guides you toward her bed. she sits down on the edge, pulling you on top of her, your legs straddling her lap. her hands move instinctively to your thighs, rubbing them gently through the thick fabric, grounding herself in the feel of you beneath her.
you press your lips to her neck, starting just behind her ear, then trailing down, each kiss lingering softly against her skin. the wet sound of your kisses fills the air, each one leaving its mark. billie’s hands move slowly, exploring the curve of your lower back, her fingers grazing over the tattoo you spoke of the night before. the intricate design sends a shiver through you as her touch leaves goosebumps in its wake, her fingertips tracing its path upwards.
her hands reach the clasp of your bra, the delicate touch of her fingers working to undo each hook, slowly and carefully. when it finally comes undone, the cool air meets your skin, and your nipples pebble slightly in the change of temperature. a small breath escapes you, the sensation both electric and tender.
your kisses on billie’s neck slow to a languid pace as her fingers toy with the bars piercing your nipples. a soft gasp escapes your lips, your breath hitching as you angle your face into the curve of her neck. your nose grazes the damp trail left by your earlier kisses, and the air feels thick, charged with her presence.
“that feel good, huh?” she murmurs, her voice low and teasing, tinged with a laugh as she feels your body respond to her touch. “been wanting to play with these since yesterday.”
her words send a flush coursing through you, the confession settling warm in your chest. gently, she shifts you, her hands firm yet careful as she turns you over and lays you on your back. the comforter beneath you gives way, soft and cool against your heated skin, and your body trembles just slightly at the sensation.
you look up at her, through the fringe of your lashes, her face framed by the golden glow of the bedside lamp. her blue eyes are soft yet intense, locking onto yours as a warm smile spreads across her face. her hair falls like a curtain around you, strands brushing your cheeks, shielding you from anything that exists outside this moment.
“is this okay?” she asks, her voice gentle, careful, as though one wrong move could shatter the sacredness of the moment.
you nod lightly, your throat tight with anticipation.
“remember, i need you to say it for me, mama,” she presses, her tone dipping lower, melting into the air between you.
“yes,” you whisper, your voice steady but barely audible. “it’s more than okay, billie.” your arm lifts, delicate yet sure, wrapping around her neck to pull her closer. your lips meet hers, the kiss slow and deliberate, an exchange that speaks louder than anything you could say.
she hums against your lips, a sound that vibrates through you, before trailing her mouth back to your neck. she kisses you there, leaving traces of herself as she moves lower, her lips ghosting down to your chest. when she reaches the curve of your breasts, she pauses. her breath fans over your skin, sending a shiver through you. the peaks of your nipples stiffen under the coolness of her breath, a soft gasp slipping past your lips.
darting her tongue out, she licks at your right nipple, her tongue circling the bar before pulling it between her lips. her left hand moves to your other breast, her fingers pinching and rolling the sensitive bud. the push and pull of her attention leaves you breathless, and when she releases your nipple with a soft, wet pop, her saliva glistens against your skin in the dim light.
her mouth finds its way to your other breast, mirroring the same motions—sucking, licking, teasing, until your body arches toward her involuntarily. the noises escaping you feel foreign, unbidden, like they’re pulled from some deep, hidden part of you.
her lips trail further downward, leaving a line of kisses over your navel, her hands pressing into your sides to hold you steady. as her lips pause between the valley of your breasts, her gaze lifts to yours, a soft flicker of recognition crossing her face when she notices the small tattoo etched there. she presses a kiss to it, reverent and unhurried, before pulling back slightly to take you in.
she sits up, her eyes never leaving your face as she watches the way your body writhes beneath her, your chest heaving, your lips parted in a series of soft moans that sound like a melody only she gets to hear. her hands move deliberately, halting at the waistband of your sweatpants. her fingers brush against the material, teasing, rubbing it between her thumb and forefinger.
her lips curve into a smile as she leans down, her voice low and teasing, warm against your ear. “can i keep going?”
her question lingers, patient, unhurried. her fingers hover at the edge of your waistband, waiting for your answer. and in her eyes, you see nothing but care, nothing but quiet, consuming need.
sitting back up, she watches you beneath her, your body writhing against the comforter, each movement punctuated by soft, needy moans that flood her ears like a song she never wants to end. her lips curve into a slow, knowing smile as her fingers toy with the band of your sweatpants, rubbing the fabric between her thumb and forefinger, dragging the moment out.
“can i?” her voice is soft, low, like a secret meant only for you.
your chest rises and falls in shallow breaths, your voice trembling as you whisper, “yes, please, baby.”
the grin that spreads across billie’s face is equal parts wicked and tender, her eyes never leaving yours as she hooks her fingers into the waistband. she drags them down, her movements slow, deliberate, as if unwrapping a gift she’s been waiting too long to open. inch by inch, she bares you to her until your sweatpants are discarded, tossed carelessly to the side. all that’s left is the thin barrier of your underwear, and the wet patch at the center betrays the need pulsing through you.
“shit—someone’s getting worked up,” she teases, her voice thick with amusement as her fingers brush against the damp fabric, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp.
“shut up,” you mumble, heat rushing to your face as you squirm beneath her. your legs instinctively press together, your core aching for more as she continues her tormenting touches. “just take it off already,” you whine, your voice dripping with impatience.
a cruel smirk tugs at her lips as her fingers curl around the waistband of your panties. “what? i can’t take my time with you?” her words are taunting, dripping with feigned innocence as she slides the fabric down even slower than before.
“no, just—fuck,” you hiss as the cool air hits your bare skin, your body arching slightly at the sudden contrast. unable to take it anymore, you grab her by the neck, pulling her down into a kiss that’s harder, more desperate than any of the ones before. her lips crash against yours, and for a moment, all you can feel is her—her weight, her warmth, the way her body presses into yours.
her hands plant firmly on either side of you, her fists digging into the mattress to steady herself. as the kiss deepens, your hips rut upward, the heat of your bare skin grinding against the rough denim of her jeans. the friction sends a jolt of pleasure through you, a muffled whine escaping into the kiss as you seek more.
billie pulls back, her breathing uneven as her hand slides to your side, fingertips ghosting over the curve of your ass. her other hand presses gently against your hips, pinning you back to the bed with a firm but gentle touch.
“have patience,” she murmurs, her lips brushing against your cheek as she peppers it with soft, lingering kisses.
“i can’t,” you groan, your voice cracking under the weight of your need.
“you can,” she counters, her tone firm but laced with a tenderness that makes your chest ache, “and you will.”
her eyes meet yours, a silent promise shining in the blue depths. billie wants nothing more than to give in, to lose herself in you completely, but she holds back. she wants this to last, wants to savor every second, every sound, every tremble of your body beneath hers. you deserve that much—more than that.
she dips her head, her lips finding the crook of your neck as she resumes her journey downward. every kiss is purposeful, unhurried, as she maps your body with her mouth. her lips trace the delicate line of your collarbones, pausing to place a lingering kiss at the hollow of your throat before moving lower. she trails kisses down the swell of your breasts, her hands sliding over your sides as she presses soft, reverent kisses to each nipple.
she continues downward, her lips brushing over your ribs, your belly, the dip of your navel. her hands smooth over the curve of your hips, grounding you as she moves lower still. when she finally reaches the soft mound of your cunt, she pauses.
her chin grazes you lightly as she hovers there, her breath warm against your skin. the anticipation hangs heavy in the air, your body taut beneath her, every nerve alive and waiting. her eyes flicker up to meet yours, her lips curving into a small, almost imperceptible smile.
“so fucking beautiful,” she murmurs, her voice barely audible, like a prayer spoken only for you.
“well hello there,” she murmurs, her voice low and dripping with mischief, her blue eyes flicking down to where your core glistens, wet and aching for her touch. the sight alone seems to mesmerize her, her lips twitching into a crooked grin as she drinks you in. leaning forward, she presses slow, deliberate kisses to the inside of your thighs, her lips soft but her teeth sharp as they leave faint marks in their wake. her thumbs brush tender circles on the sensitive skin, grounding you and setting every nerve alight all at once.
“you’re so mean, making me wait like this,” you mutter, your voice shaky with anticipation as you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch her. the sight of her there—her head between your thighs, her hair messy, her lips swollen—sends a shiver down your spine.
“no, i’m not,” she counters with a sly smirk, sitting back just enough to pull her shirt over her head. her bra follows, tossed aside carelessly, leaving her bare before you. her tattoos catch the soft glow of the light, a stark contrast against her pale skin. “i’m just taking my time with you, that’s all.”
you let out a frustrated whine, your eyes raking over her now-exposed chest. “exactly, and that’s so—fuck,” your words cut off in a sharp gasp as her lips finally make contact with your pussy. her tongue brushes over your clit in a fleeting touch, just enough to send a jolt through your body.
she doesn’t stop there. her mouth moves with intent, her lips pressing kisses all over, her tongue darting out to taste you. it’s not rushed; it’s sensual, almost like she’s savoring you. she moans against you as her tongue flicks over your entrance, dipping in briefly before sliding up through your folds. the vibration of her voice sends waves of pleasure through you, and you can’t help but arch your back, chasing the sensation.
“billie,” you whimper, your voice breathy and desperate, as her nose grazes your clit with every movement. she doesn’t respond with words, just another moan as she pulls you closer, her hands gripping your thighs to hold you in place.
your fingers tangle in her hair, tugging at the roots as you rock your hips against her face. “oh my god,” you gasp, your thighs trembling as her tongue flicks in a way that leaves you breathless. her nails dig into your skin just slightly, a grounding sensation amidst the overwhelming pleasure.
she pulls back, her lips shiny and swollen, her chest heaving as she looks up at you. “you taste so good,” she mutters, her voice husky and dripping with want. without breaking eye contact, she lets her tatted hand slide down, her fingers taking over where her tongue left off.
her fingers tease your slit, slick and warm, before sliding one inside you with ease. the stretch is slow, deliberate, as her thumb brushes over your clit in lazy circles. “feel good, baby?” she asks, her voice soft but commanding, her eyes watching every little twitch of your body as she works you open.
“yes,” you gasp, your head falling back against the pillows. your walls clench around her finger as she curls it inside you, brushing against that perfect spot that makes your breath hitch. she smirks, clearly pleased with your reaction, and leans back in to press a kiss to your thigh, murmuring, “good girl.”
“this okay?” she whispers, her voice gentle, almost reverent, as her movements still for a moment. her other hand glides over the curve of your stomach, her thumb tracing soft circles on your skin. her blue eyes, vast as oceans, hold yours with a tenderness that makes your chest ache.
you nod, breath hitching as you adjust to the fullness of her. “yes,” you murmur, your voice trembling, and it’s all the confirmation she needs. she slides another finger inside you, slow and deliberate, the stretch sending sparks of pleasure rippling through you. her pace is unhurried, her focus solely on the way your body reacts to her, the way you fit around her fingers like she was made for this—for you.
“oh, fuck, billie,” you gasp, your head falling back as you watch her fingers disappear inside you, coated in your slick. she groans softly at the sound of her name falling from your lips, her pupils dilating with a mix of desire and awe. she’s certain she could fall apart right here, just from the melody of your voice and the way you tremble beneath her.
your moans grow louder, mingling with the obscene, wet sounds of her fingers working you, the rhythm steady but maddening. her sheets are damp beneath you, the evidence of your ecstasy pooling there as her pace quickens. “so pretty, baby,” she breathes, her voice thick with affection and hunger. “everything about you… so fucking beautiful.” her free hand slides down, gripping your thigh to hold you in place as you buck against her touch, desperate for more.
your hands find their way to her hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you pull her closer. the kiss you give her is fierce, messy, and desperate, your lips crashing into hers like waves against the shore. her teeth graze your bottom lip, and the sensation pulls a whimper from you, the sound only spurring her on. her fingers drive into you faster, her palm brushing against your clit with each stroke, sending shockwaves through your entire body.
you break the kiss, your lips still brushing hers, your breath mingling as you struggle to form words. “billie… i—mmm…” your voice is a broken whine, your brows knitting together as you feel the knot in your core tightening, threatening to snap.
her gaze locks onto yours, and you try to shield your face, embarrassed by how undone you’ve become under her touch. your hand flies to her face, an attempt to cover her eyes, but she’s quicker. she grabs your wrist, gently pulling it away and lacing her fingers with yours. she presses a soft, lingering kiss to the back of your hand, her voice like a balm as she whispers, “don’t hide from me, mama. i want to see all of you.”
her words unravel something deep inside you, and the knot in your belly finally snaps. your climax crashes over you in waves, your body shaking as she guides you through it, her fingers never faltering. “that’s it,” she coos, her lips brushing against your temple as your hips jerk against her hand. “so good for me, baby. just like that.”
your head falls against her chest, your body pliant and trembling as you come down, your breath ragged and uneven. she slows her movements before withdrawing her fingers, careful not to overstimulate you. you shudder at the loss, but the sight of her lifting her hand to her lips makes your breath hitch all over again.
billie closes her eyes as her tongue flicks out, wrapping around her fingers and savoring the taste of you. a low moan escapes her throat as she licks them clean, her expression one of pure satisfaction. “you’re perfect,” she murmurs, her voice heavy with affection, and the words settle deep in your chest, grounding you in this moment with her.
your back hits the bed, the sheets cool against your heated skin as you stare blankly at the ceiling, the swirl of your thoughts almost deafening. the quiet hum of the night fills the space, but all you can focus on is the weight of the moment, heavy and impossible to ignore. billie’s eyes flick over to you, her thumbs brushing lazy circles into your sides as her brows knit together, concern softening her features.
“you okay?” her voice is gentle, like the question might break you.
truthfully, you don’t know. you had crossed a line you swore you’d never even approach—crossed it, leapt over it, and now here you were, tangled in the aftermath. you had met, and fucked, one of your clients. and god, the worst part wasn’t even that. the worst part was the undeniable truth humming beneath your skin—you wanted to do it again. and again. and again.
“mhm,” you hum, but it’s weak, barely audible. your voice doesn’t carry the conviction you need it to, and the room falls silent again, thick with tension. your mind races, spiraling through a maze of scenarios, consequences, and excuses until her voice cuts through the noise.
“it’s getting late.” her words are quiet but pointed, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. your eyes dart around the dim room, finally landing on the clock glowing faintly on the bedside table. 2:57 a.m.
“shit—i’m sorry,” you stammer, bolting upright, scrambling for your clothes like an instinctive reaction. but before you can even find your shirt, her hand presses softly against your back, grounding you.
“no, i—i was going to ask if you’d like to stay. for the night.” her voice wavers slightly, and she looks away for a moment, her vulnerability showing in the flicker of hesitation in her gaze. when her eyes meet yours again, there’s something there—hope, maybe? or just a simple longing.
you hesitate, your heart thundering in your chest. everything about this feels complicated, feels wrong, and yet, there’s a pull in her voice, in her gaze, that makes you want to say yes despite all the reasons you shouldn’t. you search for excuses—she’d have to drive you back to your car; it’s late; it doesn’t mean anything—but none of them feel convincing enough to leave.
“okay,” you whisper, the word hanging in the air like a secret. her lips curve into a soft smile, and she moves quickly to grab you extra clothes and swap out the bedding. “thanks,” you murmur, and something in her expression softens even more.
the pillow feels too soft under your head, your back turned to her as you try to steady the rhythm of your breathing. you hear her moving around the room—shutting off the television, switching off the lights. the quiet returns as she slips into bed beside you, and for a moment, you feel the faintest brush of her arm, hesitant, like she wants to reach for you but stops herself just short. the space between you feels heavy, unspoken words hanging in the air.
“goodnight, billie,” you whisper into the quiet, your voice barely carrying. your eyes close, but your thoughts don’t stop—they churn and twist, loud and relentless.
“goodnight, star.” her voice is soft, like the nickname itself is fragile and intimate, and it’s the last thing you hear before sleep pulls you under.
astrc’s tag list: @zendayasredbottoms @bilsdillldough @billiesrighthand @watercolorskyy @bilssturns @47lake @vijaxx @natbelovasblog @hopingforgoodblogs ; hit my asks saying “add to taglist” if you want to be on my regular taglist for all billie content!
#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish gf#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x black girl#billie eilish x black reader#billie eilish x y/n
317 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii! I love your Thanos x reader x namgyu stories!! They’re so good and I love your writing! I was wondering if I could request more of that? Maybe a little smut if you’re comfortable writing it!
(Sorry if that doesn’t make sense, English isn’t my first language ❤️)
thanos ! x reader x namgyu !
pairing : thanos! x reader x namgyu!
cw : drug use and sexual activities!
a/n : erm i am NOT a good smut writer but i hope the small amount is enough. i love these two. also i don’t know if anyone has noticed but i cannot make them mean for the life of me. like i love a soft man. oops
you’d all live in a single apartment because it’s cheaper. you were practically all living together anyways (they crashed in your living room more than their own places) so you would decide making one rent payment split three ways made more sense than three separate payments.
the chores would probably fall on you. cooking, cleaning, laundry. it’s easier if they’re out of your way anyways.
i think namgyu would help out by buying groceries or taking over the laundry every couple of weeks.
i like to picture him with glasses, and leaving them everywhere but his face. like he’s constantly misplacing them. and he swears you must be psychic or something because anytime he starts squinting to see, you pull his glasses out of thin air.
he also definitely is incapable of admitting he needs them. and will actively refuse to find them because he “looks stupid with them on”.
thanos is the type of guy that wouldn’t do anything around the house except leave his cigarettes ashes on the living room table.
or throw his shoes on top of the already large pile of sneakers by the door instead of tidying them up.
or add his dirty dishes into an already full sink.
and then he’d say he contributes to house work because he bought take out once last week or because he brought home shit for you guys to smoke.
but he’s also the type that can clean the whole house in a couple of hours, under the condition that’s he’s high. like i imagine him popping one of those pills from his cross and getting the energy to do everything you’d plan to do when you get home.
and if you said anything about it he’d just shrug. like it’s not the most impressive thing he’s done since he moved in.
secretly he’d be on top of the world because of your praise and gratitude. and he can’t help but smile at the satisfied smile that appears on your tired face when you sit beside him on the couch with no responsibility for the night.
they both are the type to conspire around the thermostat. and they’ve somehow convinced you that you don’t know how to use it so you trust them when they say it’s set at a normal temperature.
like in the winter time, they’ll turn it down so low that they have to bundle up under multiple blankets on the couch just so you’ll keep them close.
picture this, you’ve gone to bed and they turn it down at least half an hour after. and you return to the living room, half dressed cause “that’s the only way you can sleep”, and you beg them to come sit in your bed to keep you warm.
and thanos would be the type of guy to get you there and claim that they have a faster way than just ‘sitting in bed’ to keep you warm.
that’s how you’d end up with thanos chest pressed to your back and his cold hands up your shirt, cupping your breast as he nips and kisses at your neck leaving purple marks in his path that are sure to show the next day.
meanwhile namgyu is laying on his stomach with your legs perched up on his shoulders, fingers pressing into the flesh of your thigh, as he head gets busy between your legs.
and you better believe your inner thighs are covered in bruises. he’s incapable of holding back his bites and kisses with your legs spread wide in front of him.
i cannot see namgyu being anything BUT handsy. like even if you guys were just cuddling this guys hands are on you, in you, all over you it’s crazy.
and you’d say it’s counterintuitive when thanos throws your shirt across the room, and namgyu has pocketed the underwear you were wearing, because how is removing your clothes keeping you warm.
but after at least of an hour of being trapped between them, all three of you are sweating and the room seems way hotter than before.
maybe the fact that they turned the thermostat back to normal before joining you in your bedroom had something to do with it. who knows?
the type of guys to talk to eachother about you like your not there but also the type to say it’s gay to make eye contact with eachother when they get you off.
they’re also jealous creatures. they can’t help it.
if the three of you are having sex and you leave a mark on one of them, like a hickey or god forbid you leave lines from your nails, the other is suddenly whining for your attention. silently begging for you to mark them up in the same way.
and they won’t leave your bed after. they stay put, hands wrapping around you from either side of the bed. namgyu’s fingers are intertwined with yours as his face presses against your neck. and thanos is sprawled out on his stomach, one arm draped over your middle as he faces you, dead asleep.
#squid game x reader#squid game#thanos x reader x namgyu#thanos x reader#thanos#namgyu x reader#player 124 x reader#player 230 x reader#x reader#drabble#oneshot#female reader#fem reader#x reader headcanons#headcannons#smut
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
People everywhere sense imminent danger all around. They sense that whatever just happened is the beginning of the savagery, not the end. People abandon their vehicles and begin to flee on foot. They exit buildings, run down stairs and out doors. People in subway trains and on busses, in halted elevator cars, work to pry open emergency exits and doors. They crawl, walk, and run for their lives. The most basic human instinct is to survive.—Annie Jacobsen, Nuclear War: A Scenario
They’re going to die, probably.
“It was stupid of us to take the elevator,” Oscar says.
Carlos manages an eye roll back at him. Oscar’s surprised the motion of his eyeballs doesn’t unbalance him, perched as he is on the railing around the edge of the elevator car, calves straining, reaching his phone up towards the emergency lighting strips. As high as possible, as if he can will the texts out of his phone, force the words out of the frozen elevator, up the shaft and out into the sky, send them floating through the air towards the recipients, soaring past the bombs coming the opposite way.
Oscar’s no expert but he knows enough Spanish to be able to decipher the glimpses he’s managed of the screen. I will be ok. I love you all. Incongruous against the previous message in the thread, a picture of a scrappy white dog asleep on a couch. Oscar had watched Carlos add a heart react to it not two hours ago when they got back to the hotel after FP2.
God, two hours ago. One hour and fifty minutes before someone told them to check their phones, before the awful silence as they watched the video. A farmer somewhere in California had put it on Facebook, a mushroom cloud blooming over a power plant. It was shared everywhere, Oscar had watched it with Kim, hunched over Twitter, or X, or whatever. The farmer is probably dead now. Facebook certainly is, anyway.
The bomb hit hundreds of miles away from their hotels in Vegas. Not far enough.
Finally, Carlos hops down, collapsing beside Oscar on the floor of the cab. The wall opposite them is a mirror, floor to ceiling, so Oscar doesn’t have to turn his head. It’s easier this way.
“I think they have gone through,” Carlos blurts out, like he’d wanted to keep quiet but the words forced their way up his throat. “It has the two grey ticks. I think that means it's gone from my phone but I will not get blue ticks without signal.”
It takes Oscar a second to catch his drift. There’s no way the messages went through. The signal’s been gone for a few minutes, Oscar reckons, about the same time the elevator stopped. Carlos isn’t an idiot, he must know. Oscar knows.
“I think that’s right,” Oscar says. “They’ll have signal in Spain still, so they’ll have got it.”
He feels Carlos sag a little at his words. They’re touching from shoulder to knee, something they wouldn’t have risked this morning. Doesn’t matter now. Probably shouldn’t have mattered at the time.
“How would you go, if you could choose?” Carlos asks.
Oscar shrugs. “Dunno, never really thought about it.”
“Don’t be boring, think about it now.” Carlos shoves into him, puts his body weight behind it, but Oscar’s expecting it, can see him decide in the mirror. He braces himself, doesn’t move. Now they’re tangled. Now he can think.
“I guess I read this book in school. It was nuclear stuff but not bombs, just radiation, so it was really slow. This one girl took her boyfriend’s good car out for one last drive, then floored it off a cliff in the end. I think I’d like that.”
Carlos doesn’t say anything, just leans his head onto Oscar’s shoulder proper. If they stay like this too long Oscar won’t be able to feel his arm. Maybe that’s how he’d like to go, let Carlos lean on him limb by limb until he can’t feel anything anymore.
“He was with her? The boyfriend?” Carlos mumbles.
“Huh?”
“In the nice car. Was she with her boyfriend?”
“Oh, well not exactly, he was in a submarine I think, I don’t remember it all. They might not have been boyfriend and girlfriend actually, or maybe they were, I don’t know. They definitely loved each other.”
“Oh,” Carlos says, “that’s nice.”
“Yeah. What about you, what way would you go?”
Oscar watches in the mirror as Carlos looks up at him.
“I had a different answer but I like yours better, I think.”
“Copycat. I suppose you can come along.” Oscar shifts, rearranging Carlos’s arms around him.
“Who would drive?” Carlos asks.
Oscar wants to be the one who wants to drive. He could take that role, let Carlos hold on as their imaginary car gets closer to the point of no return, make the decision to keep the car pointing forward, his foot to the floor. He could take the wheel, if he had to.
In the mirror he can see Carlos is still looking at him. He meets his own eyes in the reflection, then lets his head turn, lets himself look for real.
“I don’t want to drive,” Oscar whispers.
“Okay,” Carlos shrugs, easy. “I’ll do it.”
The emergency strips go dark. Oscar doesn’t know what that means, why they worked when the power went out or why they’ve stopped now. He’s annoyed at how he expects his eyes to adjust, blinking hard when they don’t as if he can force the nonexistent light into his pupils.
He can still feel. He’s shaking, he thinks. Carlos’s arms tighten around him, unsteady too. Oscar revises his previous answer, overwhelmingly glad of the elevator; they can’t get lost in here, it’s too small. He doesn’t really know the timeline on these things, maybe it’ll take a day, maybe a few seconds. They’re here for now.
#guess who's listening to a book about nuclear war lol#carcar#f1 rpf#my fic#if you can't tell i also can't remember exactly the end of On The Beach but she sure did drive that car off a cliff!#i could google it but it's called method writing#truly was in the office from 8am-8pm today then listened to my book on the bus home and typed this furiously before bed
178 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh, almighty and powerful Revelboo! I humbly request more of Clumsy Heart! (Bows to your greatness) I will do anything to serve you, master!! ☆.�� Thank you for your generosity! We love you!
You guys crack me up sometimes 🤣
Sorry! Should be fixed now. I tend to work on these just idly when I’m bored and I sometimes get distracted doing other things and forget to add the link
Clumsy Heart Pt 7
IDW Soundwave x Reader, Shockwave x Reader
• “The human,” Soundwave says and Shockwave looks down at you. “Why stop me from calming it?” Antennae flicking, Shockwave looks down at where you’re sitting flexing your tiny fingers. And you look up at him as if sensing his stare before you frown up at Soundwave. Knows stopping Soundwave had been illogical, but can’t pin down why it had bothered him. It’s like something right there, just out of reach. Another memory he can’t claim as his own. Of being helpless.
• Venting in frustration when Shockwave’s antenna go back and the scientist doesn’t answer him, Soundwave turns his attention back to you. Something about you had triggered… something. Knows not to get his hopes up, but he needs a distraction from his own turmoil. Hurting and needing to salvage something. Knows he can’t get back his lost cassette, but maybe Shockwave, the real Shockwave, is still in there somewhere. Needs to believe the Shadowplay hadn’t erased all of him. Because if he gets his hopes up and he’s wrong, he’s not sure he can stand it.
• And they’re both staring at you again. Shoulders hunching, you can’t help but feel like a spider trapped under a cup. Waiting to be either freed or flushed down a drain. And you’re pretty sure your life means very little to either of them. “I’m not an it,” you manage, trying to not wilt under the suffocating weight of their attention. “I have a name. A family. A job.” Even if you don’t matter to them, there are people that do care what happens to you. Not sure why you need them to understand that, only that you do. To understand that you do matter.
• Can’t do this- going to notice I’m- look for- stop. Servos on his arms. Peds sliding on the floor as he’s dragged. He’d been yelling. Threatening. Then begging. Screaming? Except the memory is a jagged, disjointed thing. A misstep in his mind. Not his. “Against my will,” he murmurs, the details slipping through his servos. “Afraid?” Shockwave asks and you just blink at him, face scrunching.
• Is Shockwave talking to him or you? His single optic dim and unfocused as the end of his cannon nervously taps on the table and begins sliding toward you to send you scrambling to your feet and retreating. Your fear prickling at him. “You remember something.” Can’t get a hold of the memory in Shockwave’s mind, the sharp, broken edges cutting him when he tries. “Say it.” Give him a clue. If he can get Shockwave to focus, to talk to him, maybe he can remember more. But the scientist is rocking again, the memory gone.
Previous
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw: platonic!zoro x reader. established romantic relationship with luffy. selfship-coded, reader has a devil fruit.
It’s not often that you and Zoro end up alone together, but today it really is just the two of you, him carrying the majority of the provisions you’d gone into town to collect for the next leg of your trip, and the remainder in the safekeeping of your internal storage.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to just stow away the rest?” you ask for the third time and by this time, Zoro decides to pretend he can’t hear you. In any other scenario, you’d make a comment about him needing to get over that silly fear of being emasculated, but for now you allow it, shoving your free hands in your pockets as you continue on on your stroll.
Even if when you’re around the rest of the crew there’s a huge and frequent show of you generally disliking each other, it’s hard to bicker when it’s just the two of you, because the truth is that you appreciate him tremendously. Zoro doesn’t always talk much, but he’s honest, and that is particularly important to you, making it easy to pour out your heart to him.
Perhaps that’s why today, you feel compelled to tell him exactly how you’ve been feeling these days since your return from the last island. Luffy has been asleep for days, recovering from injury that would probably have killed you on the spot, and while he apologized upon waking up two days ago to see you saddled with huge undereye circles and an open book with tear-staged pages at the foot of his bed, the fact of the matter is that you’re not sure how much longer you can handle this.
The crew is familiar with his wanton disregard for his own life, and perhaps you should know better by now, but it’s just too hard sometimes, and you can feel your heart starting to fill with resentment, and even that adds to your guilt.
Luffy is free, and freedom means choosing to live your life however dangerously you want.
“You know I hate complaining about him, and I know you’ll just tell me that I shouldn’t expect otherwise from Luffy, but just once, I wish he would take better care of himself.”
The thought slips out in a small voice, and Zoro lets it marinate in the quiet afternoon air. Discomfort rises like bile in your throat.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” you immediately backtrack, but Zoro looks at you and shrugs.
“I get it. It’s fine.”
You bite your lower lip, keeping the gaze at the ground before you. Zoro should know that you’re only frustrated, that you love Luffy more than anything, and don’t mean to speak ill of him, right? It’s just eating at you, the idea that only one of you is preoccupied with the idea of separating for good.
Luffy would be fine without you even in death. You, on the other hand…
You take in a deep breath.
“I trust him,” you say out loud, to which Zoro chuckles to himself for a moment, which makes your cheeks warm in embarrassment.
“What’s so funny?!”
“That you’re this worried about him.” Zoro shoots you a glance, and mercilessly adds -
“Realistically, you’d probably croak before he does.”
“Wow!” you exclaim in dramatized offense.
Zoro shrugs. “I mean, I guess he probably cares enough about you that he wouldn’t allow that to happen, but still, I don’t think much can put that guy down for good.”
You pout, but something about that is reassuring, and that heaviness in your chest seems to alleviate just so.
“I guess that’s a relief.”
Zoro snorts again, which has you frowning at him again.
“Is it really this funny?” you ask, indignantly, but when he finally speaks again, his tone is serious.
“I think you’re misunderstanding him a bit,” he finally adds. Stopping for a moment, he gives you his full attention, and suddenly your heart starts to thump at the change in mood. He sizes you up for a moment, as if he’s trying to decide if what he has to tell you is worth it in any way, then lets out a sigh.
“He told me if something ever happened to him, there are a few things he wants to make sure happen for you, so that you’re okay.”
Your eyes widen for a moment, incredulous.
“What?”
Zoro resumes his stride.
“Can’t tell you what they are, though.”
You find yourself running to catch up to him, your heart pounding in your chest. The idea that Luffy has thought ahead, considering you even in the process, is almost too good to be true.
“So what was the point of even telling me?!” you hiss.
“So you don’t make up some narrative about not being cared for in your head, dumbass.” Zoro says. You stick your tongue out at him which has him scoff and look away, but you’re thankful.
The ship starts to reappear along the horizon and your outlook has changed a bit.
…
By the time you make it back on the ship again, Luffy has woken up from his restorative slumber and is already asking you if you brought any meat amongst your groceries, an arm looping around your shoulders and your waist. But instead of pushing him off of you for grabbing you too quickly, you look at him for a moment, and the sudden affection in your eyes is enough that it actually catches him by surprise.
“Hey, ___, what’s up?” he asks as you really take him in, but you just smile and plant a kiss on his cheek.
“Nothing. I’m just glad you’re back.”
He grins widely.
“Can’t get rid of me if you tried.”
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hardlaunch - Matt Sturniolo
pairings: bf!matt x softgf!reader
summary: when you suggest to your boyfriend matt the idea of hardlaunching your relationship
warnings: fluff, kissing
you and your boyfriend matt have been dating for five months now, and no one except close friends and family knew, you both didn’t want his fans to get in the way of the relationship so you kept it hidden from the public
but as you started to analyze things clearly, you noticed that a lot of girls would hit on him, off and online, you wanted everyone to know that he was yours
you were gonna meet up with him today, and that’s when the idea came to you
——————————————————————-
you open the door to let matt in “hey baby!” you say inviting him into your arms, you pull out the hug to face him and look him in the eyes, “okay so i have an idea”
“what is it?” he replies, sorta skeptical by the way of your tone
“it’s nothing bad! i don’t think.. okay so how do you feel about a hardlaunch?”
he looks at you all confused “why did you randomly think of this now? also you know how crazy the fans are, there’s no way anything good can come from this”
by the way of his words, you start to get a little hesitant, but you still wanted everyone to know that the two of you were together, so you knew you weren’t going to give up trying “it won’t be anything crazy, we can post it on my instagram, it doesn’t even have to be a youtube video”
“i still want to know where this came from” he says while crossing his arms
“im just tired of keeping everything secret you know? why’s it so bad that people find out that we’re dating, we are dating are we not?”
“yes of course we are dating” he sighs before continuing to speak again “okay you know what fine, but nothing too crazy”
you kiss him on the cheek “yay!” and to be honest with yourself you weren’t convinced that he was going to agree
you two were now in your room together, he stops to ask “so what are we going to do exactly?”
“just trust me” you reply, starting to add red lipstick on
he chuckles slightly “okay..”
you finish applying the lipstick and turn to kiss him, he was caught by surprise but embraces your lips on his
he pulls out, all out of breath “great now i have your lipstick on me”
“that’s the point..” you reply, giving him a grin
you then pull out your camera and snap a few photos, matt starting to understand what is happening, “i like the way you think”
you giggle at his comment and turn the camera to see the pictures
he looks at you and says “these are perfect”.
#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo headcanon#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#matt x y/n#matt x you#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo fanfic
108 notes
·
View notes
Note
And I am back once again with my regularly schedules JayVik x reader request!
For context this time, I tend to have a pretty stable sleep schedule but whenever I’m on vacation it kinda goes to shit. This will lead to me staying up til 2am and waking up at noon for days on end which is super annoying. So In order to fix this, I will pull an all-nighter in an attempt to “reset” my sleep schedule (which actually does work but I also super wouldn’t recommend it)
I had to do this again recently and while I’ve gotten used to it, it’s still annoying to deal with. I know for a fact that both Jayce and Viktor have ass sleep schedules and, while Jayce’s may have gotten slightly better after becoming a council member (out of necessity mayhaps), I am still willing to bet money that they both pull regular all nighters
With all that being said, I think it would be nice to pull an all nighter while hanging out in the lab, spending the time trying to keep each other up with too much coffee and dumb conversations. On the flip side, I also think it might be funny if Jayce/Vik tried to convince Reader to just sleep and have reader call them out on their shit
(Also mayhaps some cuddling? Would probably make me fall asleep instantly but also I need to be squished between them (non-sexual style))
Thank you in advanced, hope you’re taking care of yourself :))
ALL NIGHTER - JAYVIK X READER
synopsis: all of you have the worst sleep schedules ever. Point blank period. So when you decide to pull an all-nighter with them, you remember how much it sucks; but it does help you fix your sleep schedule in a jiffy. If only the two men didn’t constantly try to get you to sleep. If you’re sleeping; so are they.
warnings: nothing. It’s fluffy like cotton candy. Goofing off, banter, negotiation, cuddling
genre: m/m/f or m/m/m
p.s. I too have to reset my sleep schedule sometimes and I know how ass it makes me feel. But I just can’t help it, I don’t want my day to end (especially if I have things to do the next day) so I just… stay up 😭
Your sleep schedule has been fucked ever since you got time off from your job and took that god-forsaken nap. You took it at five p.m. and woke up at one in the morning. You then stayed up until five pm again and fell asleep.
Rinse and repeat.
Now you're going to use your tried and true method in desperate situations, you’re gonna pull an all nighter.
And who better to do it with than your two boys?
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
You walk into the lab, your feet dragging across the floor a bit. It’s almost four p.m. and you can feel the fatigue coursing through your body.
You want to sleep, but you can't.
Viktor and Jayce are experimenting as you come up to their stations. Jayce shoots you a big grin and Viktor just nods lightly in your direction. You walk further into the lab and plop onto your designated rollie chair.
"You okay?" Jayce asks, his big puppy dog eyes looking at you. You tiredly smile at him, "I'm just tired, trying to pull an all-nighter to fix my sleep schedule."
You hear a small hum at your statement, "Understandable. I do the same thing when needed." Viktor adds as he continues to work. Jayce looks worried at you two, "I get my sleep schedule also isn't the best, but I have maybe done an all-nighter once or twice. How often have y'all done this?"
Viktor stops working and contemplates Jayce's question, you look up to the ceiling and try to add up the amount of times you did this, "Anywhere from six to ten times? I really only have to do it after I get time off, I get so excited having nothing to do that I stay up way too late and wake up way too late."
Jayce huffs at you and looks to Viktor, "And you?" Viktor purses his lips and looks to the side, "Too often."
"Viktor!"
"What? Leave me alone."
You giggle at them, "You can't say anything Jayce. You've pulled all-nighters too. I've seen you stay too late at the lab and bring home paperwork from the council home."
Jayce sputters as the two of you giggle at him. His fond look gives away him fake irritation.
"You should sleep, love. Honestly pulling all-nighters is bad for your health."
"And you're a hypocrite Viktor. Pass me the coffee pot, I'm staying up for as long as I can."
Viktor sighs and complies to your demand. It's true, he is a bit hypocritical.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The delirium has set in. Everything is making you three giggle, how Jayce's hammer sounds as he works on a prototype, how Viktor's accent swirls his words due to his exhaustion, looking at each other for too long.
The lab is full of snorts, cackling laughter, and wheezing.
You look at the clock and see it's almost three in the morning, "Ok, I'd say it's bedtime now. We'll probably wake up at around nine or ten in the morning and we'll be able to go to sleep properly later today."
Both Viktor and Jayce whine, wanting to stay up longer. You shut the shit down.
"Nope! Nuh-uh, bed time for all of us, c'mon."
They listen to you, complaining the whole time, but the minute you all lay in the lab's futon, they almost pass out insatntly.
You're smack dab in the middle. You're essentially laying on top of Jayce and Viktor is on top of you. You hear Jayce's heartbeat as you card your finger's through Viktor's hair.
You sigh in content, this is gonna be the best sleep of your life, you can feel it.
It's great being a teddy bear.
Having a delirious laughing attack would be great with them. Like when you’re laughing with a friend in class and you just can’t stop 😭😭 I miss that so much bro
#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane x reader#arcane imagine#jayvik x reader#fem!reader#male!reader#gender neutral reader#banners by cafekitsune
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so we have this huge problem with forgetting about everything that’s happened by the time the next election rolls around so I’d like to keep a running list of things as they’re happening to help remind us when the 2026 midterms roll around. And please add to this if I’ve missed anything.
Donald Trump pardoned 1500 people who participated in the insurrection of January 6th, including those who violently assaulted and nearly killed police officers.
Donald Trump has declared that trans and non-binary people don’t exist.
Donald Trump is working towards firing everyone in the government who isn’t loyal to him.
Donald Trump has effectively fired everyone who he claims is an “illegal DEI hire” …whatever that means
Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreenent and the World Health Organization
Republicans in Congress are trying to pass the Laken Riley Act to, effectively, round up every immigrant in the country, including LEGAL immigrants
Donald Trump and the Republicans have NOT done anything (as of January 2025) to help the economy or lower prices
Donald Trump removed caps on prescription drug prices.
Donald Trump wants to withhold federal aid to help combat the LA wildfires and help the thousands of people who have been displaced and lost their homes.
I’ll keep adding to this list as new things come up and, again, please feel free to add anything I’ve missed. I know that in this world of constant news it’s easy to forget, so let’s give our future selves a little help!
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
LITTLE WAYS TO LIVE HEALTHIER IN 2025
INCREASE YOUR N.E.A.T. Neat stands for non exercise activity thermogenesis. So, basically any daily activities we do when not exercising or sleeping. It's important for you to have a high N.E.A.T because it can be the difference between having a sedentary lifestyle or being moderately active.
Ways to increase NEAT is to do more heavier chores everyday (vacuuming, mopping, dusting), taking the longer routes when walking, stand for 10 minutes each hour, pace back and forth while calling someone, march while you’re brushing your teeth, etc.
DRINK HERBAL TEAS. Herbal teas can help you in a variety of areas of life, and are a great substitute for other processed beverages.
ADD SUNLIGHT IN YOUR MORNING. Exposing yourself to sunlight early in the day helps with resetting the circadian rhythm, which in return helps for waking up easier and going to sleep easier.
EAT WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. You’ll savour your food so much more and it’ll be easier to tell when you’re satisfied.
CREATE A PLAYLIST FOR WHEN YOU WIND DOWN. Once you get into the habit of listening to this playlist, it’ll become like a trigger to your body that it’s time to sleep because listening to that playlist should be followed by settling into bed.
REGULARLY GO TO YOUR GP. Especially if you’re feeling a bit out of it. It is always better to make those regular visits and catch something before it becomes out of hand.
STOP WAKING UP SO EARLY. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but waking up at 5am is unnecessary if not required. While I do believe that waking up earlier does have benefits, that extra hour of sleep probably has more.
IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING, TAKE IT SLOWER. In this day and age, we don’t have time to process a lot of things. Everything is so fast paced, that if we fall behind, we tend to feel less than.
Especially if you’re someone who can’t keep pace with the crowd due to disabilities or mental health. Take things at your own pace, and do what you can will yourself to do.
GET SPIRITUAL. Lots of studies show that people who commit themselves to their beliefs are a lot happier in life than those who don’t. This doesn’t mean that you have to commit to a religion yet, but I would explore your spirituality side and see what resonates with you.
WEAR YOUR SPF. Skin cancer is no joke, and our earth is only getting hotter. Protect yourself, including your body!
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE. People who radiate love and are always looking for the goodness around them, that rubs off on you and in return you’ll develop similar traits. Being with them will stimulate growth in all aspects of your life.
I'm not telling anyone to ‘fix’ anyone, but it means a lot to other people if you can be that person in their life. It's a very rewarding and fulfilling lifestyle.
TAKE MAKEUP BREAKS REGULARLY. Give your skin a break from products, and ideally take a week off each month to spend it makeup free. You’re saving time and your skin.
ADD IN FRUITS, HERBS OR LEMON IN YOUR WATER. This will help with extra hydration and improve digestion.
PRIORITISE FIBRE. As much as protein is good for you, fibre has just as much importance but it's not as heavily prioritised. Ideally, half of your meal should be fibres. However, that can be a hard change for some people, so start with having it on the side.
It's great if you can incorporate ‘hidden’ fibre into your meals as well!
CURATE YOUR SPACE TO SUIT YOU. Add in little notes of reminders or quotes, place around photos or awards of your achievements, remove anything that impacts you negatively. You want the area that you’re in 24/7 to support that growth, not stifle it.
Keep your area clean and decluttered as well. Try to minimise the amount of stuff that you have. You only need one of each thing, two is one too many. Having too much clutter affects the clarity of your mind.
it is numbered oddly because of the way I pasted this from google docs to tumblr. apologies!
#prettieinpink#becoming that girl#that girl#clean girl#green juice girl#wonyoungism#glow up era#glow up#her#becoming her#it girl energy#divine feminine#dream life#dream girl#dream girl tips#dream girl journey#dream girl life#dream girl vibes#healthy living#healthy eating#health#mental health#health and wellness#health & fitness#healthylifestyle#nutrition#physical health#healthcare
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
MORE FURRIES. YAY!
I drew Ben! I don’t know if I really like the name “Ben Meowed”, I’m changing it because “Ben Drowned” is too morbid for this AU (ㆀ˘・з・˘). In this AU Trickster Ben is Ben’s alter ego, so they are the same person. Jeff really likes spaghetti :3 and lasagna, and pizza, and anything with marinara sauce🥫 XD. I wanted to draw that scenario bc I saw this vid on tiktok of a cat patting like a dog and IT WAS SO CUUUUUUTE! (๑>◡<๑)~♡ It’s pupils were so big, IT WAS SO HAPPY I SWEAR IF I HAD THE VID I WOULD SHARE IT BUT I DONT HAVE THE LINK 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。 Jeff looks like such a cutie :3. And no, he’s not gonna share a single noodle with Dollie :c xd
STACYYY! Yus, that is @bloodlessmp3 OC. I tried making her look like this cool cat I saw on Pinterest! I hope you like it Rev :b
Kittypasta is officially canon, so I’ll tell ya some stuff about it. All of the crp members are cats, kittens to be exact. They stay children forever, aging halts at 13 y/o (in human years). All of them were created in a lab by Splendorman. Originally he was trying to make better cat plushies for the kids he takes care of, but things went wrong, ala chemical x Professor Utoniom. The kitties are SUPER SOFT, like chinchilla soft. That’s all I have so far, the creepypastas I’ve added so far are Jeff the Meowster (snow leopard), Dollie (leopard), Ben Meowed (orange house cat), and if Rev is okay with it I’ll add Stacy (house cat).
That’s all… Stay frosty❄️ BAIIIIII!1!1!1!!!!!!!1!!!!
#dolliedyard#dolliedyhardgallery#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta oc#creepypasta fanart#2000s emo#jeff the killer#dolliedyhard#jeff the killer fanart#scenekid#ben drowned#furries#furry#anthro art#anthro#furry art#sparklecat#emo kid#creepypasta art#crp
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
In Another Universe
#14. The Beginning of the END
Synopsis – When you are just another iteration of Park Jimin’s girlfriend in a different universe.
Park Jimin × Reader
Genre – parallel universe / kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity
Warnings- Language/ Angst / INFIDELITY /SMUT- Making out/ Oral (F. and M. recieving) (Rough and soft)/ Dirty Talk/ Grinding/ Sex against a window/ Jealousy Fucks/ Mastrubating (F.)/ Rough sex / Unporected sex/ Pussy slpas/ Cumming inside/ Impregnation Kink!!!!!/ Safe words/ Edging/ Multiple orgasms (F.)/Overstimulation/ Spit play/ Jimin is jealous af/ Jimin is rough
Word count- 23K (I'm sorry. So so so sorry)
a/n- Some anonnie asked me how many more chapters there on the series and unfortunately I lost the ask. So, anon if you're seeing this, it's probably 20 plus the epilogue. We are slowly nearing the end now. I'm sad... (Anyway... like always thank you for reading babies, luv u ❤️)
Taglist?
Chapter Index
Previous - Next
You walk through the busy sidewalk in silence. Your arm is hooked with Key’s. She’s been rambling about something that doesn’t quite reach your ears. You’re not paying attention to whatever she’s saying at all. Instead, your mind is racing with your latest discovery. It’s absurd how long it took you to realize something that has been happening for so long. It doesn’t make it less scary, however.
It’s scary. Falling for Park Jimin. Scary as hell. For so many reasons. He’s in a relationship. He’s from a different world. You’ve not meant to be together at all. And above everything, he probably doesn’t like you at all.
And your greed, little thing, is about to consume you whole!
Yes, that’s exactly what’s about to happen now. You’ve been too greedy for something you couldn’t have and now you’re stuck in this no win situation. What are you ever going to do? A frustrated groan strangles in your throat. You need someone’s advice on this. Someone who isn’t Jungkook. Because Jungkook has been giving you the cold shoulder ever since the day at the restaurant. Since the moment you returned to the kitchen after talking with Jimin. You don’t know what’s wrong but it just adds more and more frustration to your stressed out mind.
It’s been more than a week since your talk with Jimin. He has promised you that he’ll explain everything to you. Yet until this very moment, he hasn’t brought up the topic at all. Frustrating. You’re getting mad at him. Not that you met him, true. It’s just text messages. Nothing crazy. Just mundane things. Asking about how each other’s days went or just gentle reminders to drink water. Yet he hasn’t asked to meet you or anything.
You feel neglected. Feel as if he has given you a fake promise. As if he has tricked you into something while bribing you with candy. It certainly feels like he’s avoiding talking about it on purpose. Then there is the fact that you like him. You no longer can deny it. And it hurts even more to think Jimin might not hold on to his promises. See, everything frustrates you. Hurts you. To add in to everything, there’s a teeny tiny part of you that is mad at him because he hasn’t made any efforts to at least meet you. Not just to hear his explanation. But to see him. Just see him. You miss him.
Now since you don’t work at RUN, you don’t get to see him every other day. Another reason to be frustrated. Then there’s Jimin. Just going on with his life. Considering how desperately he seeked an opportunity to talk with you, this clearly looks odd to you. That leaves you with one conclusion. He’s purposefully avoiding you just to avoid the talk. Despite his words he doesn’t wish to actually tell you the truth. Right? That has to be it. Or you think so. Maybe that’s not the case at all. Maybe he’s just busy.
You feel an overwhelming urge to pull from your hair. This is why you need someone else’s opinion. It would have been so nice if you could have talked about this with Jungkook. Someone who knows everything about you, inside out. Unfortunately, he’s going through PMS. He’s not available. And the only other option is your best friend. But she doesn’t know everything about you. Doesn’t know about your bitchy side to be specific. Maybe it’s time you should tell her. She’d call you out. Yell at you. Maybe even hit you. Yet in the end, she’s just like Jungkook. Will never leave your side. And in the end, you can have that advice you seek.
You eye your best friend nervously. Without you realizing she has stopped rumbling. Her eyes are fixed ahead. Looks like she’s lost in her own thoughts as well.
Should you tell her?
Wouldn’t you be able to solve everything on your own? But then, you know that this problem isn’t going to solve that easily. Sooner or later you would want her help yet again. And when that moment comes, she’d be more furious to know that you’d hidden something from her.
You should tell her.
You stop abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk. Pulling Key into a stop with you. She frowns at you for a minute before her expression turns into something unreadable. If you didn’t know better, you’d say she looks almost nervous. She doesn’t have a reason to be nervous. You’re the one who’s nervous here. You drag in a deep breath to build the courage you need for this.
“I have to tell you something.” You both blurt out at the same time.
Oh.
You shut your mouth. It takes you a split second to register that she needs to tell you something as well. “You go ahead first.” You gesture at her, feeling a bit relieved that you can bide your time for a bit. Key shakes her head, however. “No,no, it’s fine, you can go ahead first.” She chuckles nervously. You give her a look. What is this? Why are you two acting like these polite strangers? It makes you feel weird. It seems like Key thinks so too. She heaves a heavy sigh.
“Okay, fuck.” Mumbles. Looks briefly at you before averting her eyes to the road. Now it’s your time to frown. Why’s she so nervous?
“What is it?” You ask hesitantly. Another sigh from Key. A chuckle and you’re getting antsy.
“It’s nothing really…uh.. I don’t know how to tell you this but-”
“Oh my god, what the fuck Key? What is it?” You almost yell. A passerby throws you an odd look. You bow to him slightly in apology.
“Okay, okay, no need to fucking yell,” Key pouts. You wait patiently till she continues. “It’s about Chan actually, he uh.. He- the other day, actually he-” You narrow your eyes as Key starts to stutter horribly. You think you’re getting a hunch as to where this is going. Of course, you know. Corners of your mouth start to twitch, struggling to perform a smile. You find Key to be adorable right now.
“He asked you out, didn't he?” You save her from the trouble. She immediately closes her mouth. Eyes wide and gaping at you like you’ve told the most unbelievable shit in the world. A throaty laugh escapes you. “What?” You question while raising one of your eyebrows.
“H-how do you kn-know that?” She whispers. And your smile drops. Replace with guilt. You knew all along but you never told her because you were selfish. You nibble on your bottom lip for a minute before finding your words.
“He told me.” You admit. Feeling bitter. Key gasps.
“When?” Her eyes widened even more. You shrug, trying to act as if this is nothing. “Eh…. the day I confessed- I mean the day I tried to do soー” Your sentence got interrupted when Key suddenly stepped forward. Grabs your shoulders.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You watch as something akin to guilt slash across her wide eyes. “I’m so sorry.” She shakes her head. Oh, you hate this. Key doesn’t have to feel guilty. She has done nothing wrong. You shrug her hands off you.
“It’s nothing Key. I mean I was hurt back then but I’m fine now. I’m way over it.” You wave a dismissive hand in front of your face. Change the topic as you opt into an excited mood. “So, tell me? What did you tell him?” You smile giddily. Key, however, doesn’t share your enthusiasm. She gasps again. Scandalous. Now looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.
“Of course, I said no woman. I won’t do that to you.” She scoffs in disbelief. “How could I? I mean why would you ever think that I would do something like that to you.” Key appears as if you’ve betrayed her. You sigh exasperatedly.
“Yah!!” Give her a serious look. “I’m seriously over it dude, I’m telling you. Trust me I don’t have an ounce of feelings toward him now.” And you’re telling the truth. A you from a few months ago would have bleed right at the spot to hear what Key just told you. But now, you don’t feel anything except the giddy feeling of knowing the dirty deets of your best friend's life. It has a lot to do with your new life. You’re no longer pinning over your boss. No. Instead now you’re pinning over a rich CEO, who has a far better girlfriend than you. If Chan’s situation hurts you, this is about to kill you. But besides Jimin, you think you’ve developed a teeny bit. You can understand that Chan doesn’t like you. And that did hurt but now you’re fine.
“How come?” Key scowls deeply. “Your feelings just evaporated. Just like that?” Throws a skeptical glance at you. Maybe this is your time to tell her your secret. But something she said suddenly piques your interest.
“Yes it did, but wait-” You tilt your head to the sight. Feel amused. “Did you say that, you said no to him because of me? Not because you don’t like him?” You’re not asking out of spite. Just genuinely curious. And the prospect she actually likes Chan makes you happy. Not bitter. Key pales.
“I mean yeah, that also. I don’-”
“Key.”
“Yes.”
“Hey,” It’s your time to grab her shoulders. She avoids your eyes as she turns her head down. “Do you like him?” You ask softly. No answer. “Listen, I know he really likes you. And if you really like him-” You tilt your head to look at her eyes. Fail. “if you really like him-” So, you continue. “You should give it a chance.” You finish when she finally looks at you. Already shaking her head.
“No. Fuck no. I will never ever do that to you. What kind of friend-”
“I like someone else.” You blurt out. Interrupting her ramble. It works. Key shuts her mouth as if you’ve just slapped her.
“Huh?”
“I like someone else, Key. I don’t like Chan anymore.” Just like that the entire conversation takes a 180- degree. You’re not the one who’s asking questions anymore. You’re being interrogated in the middle of a sidewalk. Key bombards you with so many questions at once that you barely catch a single one of them. She starts from ‘who’ and ends with cursing you for not letting her know earlier. You on the other hand don’t answer any of her questions. She doesn’t let you. “Will you calm down?” You mutter lastly. Key hisses at you.
“No.. I will not calm down. Not until you tell me who this mystery man is.”
“Well, that's what I'm trying to do but you’re not letting me.” You complain.
“Okay, so, tell me who he is? Do I know him? Is he from the communication class? Is he from our college or did you meet him online?” Key looks genuinely excited. Just like how you looked a minute ago. You feel a pang in your chest. She’s not going to like what you’re about to tell her. You shake your head. “No?” She asks. Takes a minute. Her face falls as you watch the realization hit her. “He’s not from here.” It sounds like a statement not a question. Yet you nod anyway. Key curses aloud. “Dude. Fucking hell! That’s not good.” States the obvious. “You only have a year, man. How are you… oh, god- who is he? Jungkook? It makes sense that you’d fall for him. You live together. To be honest I was afraid of something like this ha-”
“It’s not Jungkook.” You interrupt her yet again. A silence falls between you two. Key doesn’t ask you who he is again. But you just casually reach for your bag. Fumble inside for a second before finding what you want. Your fingers tightly wrap around the picture as you hold it for Key. The polaroid you manage to get from Jimin the day of your little- not a date. It took you great effort. Lots of convincing. But you won in the end. That’s how you now hold the one where you’re frowning at Jimin when he’s just looking at you. Not just looking at you. No. You chose the specific photo just because of the way he’s looking at you. He looks at you like you’re his entire world. Like you’re his entire universe. Like he hasn’t seen something more beautiful before. Like he’s so whipped for you. Trapped with you and he doesn’t want to be freed.
Of course, that can’t be the truth now. It’s just your stupid heart making things up.
Key takes the polaroid from you. Slowly. Scans her eyes over the image. A beat passes.
“Holy fuck! This is fucking worse.” Mumbles ever so slowly.
…………………………
Key wasn't helpful in giving you advice. Like you wanted her to be. Or maybe she was but simply didn’t say what you wanted to hear. What you wanted to hear was that you need to wait until Jimin reaches you. You wanted to hear that Jimin is just busy and not purposely avoiding you or anything. But what you heard was the complete opposite. She said that Jimin is an asshole, which is nothing new. And how you have to immediately get rid of your feelings. No matter what. Your attempt at reasoning with her didn’t work at all. That’s how you find yourself in the same situation the next day. Sitting at Jungkook’s couch. He’s getting ready to leave for classes. Is giving you the same silent treatment like always. It’s raining heavily outside but the gloom inside his apartment has nothing to do with that.
You’ve tried several times to ask Jungkook what’s wrong but he’s been avoiding that successfully. He would just click his tongue. Would walk away. Would shrug or say simply ‘nothing’. Now, it’s getting unbearable. You feel suffocated. And you miss your Jungkook. The one who’s always positive. Joke around. Being clingy and annoying to you. You sigh desperately when he walks past you for the tenth time without even sparing you a second glance. He’s being stupid, really. It’s not like you’ve done anything to upset him. He needs to grow up and learn how to talk. If he’s not going to do that on his own, then you should.
“Kook.” You call him out just as he’s about to enter his room. He halts. Doesn’t turn around, however. You get to your feet. Take a couple steps forward. Wait for a second to see if he’d turn around. He still doesn’t. So, you decide to ask what you wanted to ask. “Okay, what’s happening? Why the hell are you ignoring me? What the fuck did I do?” You blurt out all the questions you wanted to ask from him. This time he just turns partially to look at you. You wait with a bated breath until he answers when he just shakes his head. Disappointment washes over you.
“It’s nothing.” Jungkook mutters. Almost disappears inside his room when you shout at him.
“It’s clearly not nothing!” You take another step. Jungkook stops again.
“I told you it’s nothing. Really.” He says again. This time with a stern edge in his voice. As if he’s warning you to let it go. Well, the hell you would do that. This pisses you off.
“Something’s been up with you for weeks Kook. Are you gonna keep that up? If you have a problem with me, you need to let me know.” You feel your frustration slowly turn into anger. You’ve been on the edge already. “C’mon, Jungkook, don’t fucking act like a stubborn mule and talk to me for fucks sake. What’s your problem?” You clearly expect him to not answer your question and walk away. Hence your surprise when he suddenly turns around like a flash. Even a surprised gasp leaves your mouth when he storms toward you. Closes the distance between you completely.
“You want me to talk?” Questions. His jaw slack. You gulp harshly, clearly not expecting the sudden outburst. Still, you stay rooted in your place. Returning the glare he’s shooting at you. You hate fighting. You especially hate fighting with Jungkook. It’s not normal. But you need to know what the hell is going on inside his head. So, you give him a firm nod.
“Yes, Jungkook. If you have a problem with me or anything else, you need to talk that shit out. Maybe I can help you.” You grumble. Jungkook lets out a bitter chuckle.
“Problem.” He mutters to himself. “You wanna know what my problem is?” Asks from you this time. You nod again. Glad that he’s finally about to talk. Yet what he says next leaves you even more confused. “You.” Jungkook shouts so loud that you visibly wince before a deep scowl adorns your face. You gape at him. Not understanding what he just said.
You?
You’re his problem?
How and why? You open your mouth stupidly like a fish. Wanting to ask him what he meant but no words leave you. Too stunned to speak. Jungkook doesn’t wait for you to process that though. “You are my problem Noona.” He brings his face closer to you. “There you go. Now you know what my problem is. Happy?” Taunts. You feel an ache in your chest. Nothing too harsh. Not yet at least. You’re in too much of a shock to process it and feel pained.
“J-Jungkook.” You finally manage to call him weakly. “Wh-what are you-”
“You wanted to know. So, I told you. You. Are. My. Problem.” Jungkook repeats through clenched teeth. And that ache finally deepens. Your shock subsiding and a deep pain replacing it. As if Jungkook has just stabbed you right across your chest. Of course, it hurts. Jungkook is someone who you have grown to adore. He’s basically a part of your life. It hurts like a bitch when he treats you like this. Especially when you have no idea what’s the reason.
“Why? What did I do?” You question meekly. Your voice is barely audible. Jungkook’s hard face softens at that immediately. He sighs heavily.
“Gosh Noona, just fucking-” Groans. “You’re my problem because you’re a fucking idiot who keeps falling into Park fucking Jimin’s trap. You’re my problem because I no longer know how to protect you.” He doesn’t yell anymore. Voice soft and visibly pained.
Your frown deepens at his words. Your confusion easing as your anger gets back to you again. That’s his reason. Well, you never asked him to protect you. You're a grown woman who can manage things yourself. You know Jungkook cares deeply but this is just too much.
“Well, then don’t try to protect me.”
“That’s the exact fucking problem here.” He raises his voice again. “ I don’t know how not to. I don’t know a way to sit back and watch you fuck up. All because of what? Why the hell can’t you just ask him to fuck off? Why on the earth would you always let him play with your life?”
Well, a few weeks ago, you would’ve wondered as to why you’re doing it as well. Now though, you know the answer. But you’re not sure whether you should tell Jungkook that now. You try to come up with an answer when Jungkook doesn’t let you.
“Why are you doing it,Noona? When he always fucks up. He left you alone for God’s sake. He let you get slapped in front of a fucking club. He followed his girlfriend and left you to manage your own shit and after all those things, you just let him fuck with you even more. I was the one who saw you crying like it was the end of the damn world. If that one time hurts like that, then do you have any idea how much it would hurt in the future.” Jungkook looks you dead in the eye. Everything he says is true. But you can’t help it. You just can’t. You feel your eyes prick with unshed tears. Your chin is starting to wobble. “Jimin is a fucking douchebag who doesn’t deserve a second in your life and you know that too. He treats you as a piece of trash and you let him in when he just follows you around and simply says sorry?”
“Well, I can’t fucking help it.” You allow those unshed tears to roll down. Jungkook’s words cut you through like a sharp blade. Jimin doesn’t treat you like that. When you’re together Jimin treats you like you’re his sun and moon. But to others, you’re certain this is how your relationship must look like. You’re the piece of meat he uses and tosses away. And it hurts. You don’t want Jungkook pointing it out to you among everyone. Not him. He promised to be on your side no matter what.
“Why the fuck not?” Jungkook’s loud voice booms across his living room. You almost take a step back before you catch yourself. Emotions overwhelm you so much that you can’t help but crack.
“Because I like him!” You match his voice in sound. “I like him so damn much that I can’t help it.” A loud sob breaks through your throat. And that’s the only sound that fills the air as everything else falls into a deafening silence. Jungkook exhales a shaky breath. Takes a step back. You watch as a visible tremble goes through his entire body. You don’t know why he appears more hurt than surprised. His entire face turning dull. A stretched minute passes just like that. Jungkook is just gaping at you and you are just waiting for him to tell you something. Anything. But it’s just his pained eyes peering at you. Until he breaks it.
“Okay. Fine… Thought you said it was just physical.” He mumbles.
“Well, it was at f-”
“I don’t care, Li.”
What?
Jungkook turns around. You jump into action as you grab his arm. “J-Jungkook, where are you-” He yanks his arm away from your hold.
“Just let me be alone, will you please? I just don’t want to talk with you.”
That’s all he says before he disappears inside the bedroom. Door closing loudly behind him. You blankly stare at the now closed door. Not understanding why he’s so mad. But it doesn’t make it less hurt. It hurts so much.
Fuck your life.
You turn around as you wipe the tears away roughly using your hoodie sleeve.
If he needs to be alone, then you’ll respect it.
You simply walk toward the front door, not knowing what you should do.
………………………….
Jungkook thinks he’s about to explode. The urge to break something is overwhelming. If he could just beat someone into a pulp that would help maybe. No, not anyone but that certain someone with blonde hair and a killer smile. The motherfucking oh so great CEO of RUN. Does Jungkook give a fuck about who Jimin is? Not at all. Not a single fuck. If he could find him right now, he’d make sure that Park Jimin never smiles that way again. That’s how much anger is brewing inside Jungkook. So much that his head pounds. Your words echoing inside his skull.
Because I like him!
I like him so damn much that I can’t help it.
A loud groan leaves Jungkook’s throat as he grabs the coffee mug on his table. It’s unfortunate how the mug has to pay the price when Jungkook hurls it across the room. But he needs to break something. He needs a way to release his pent up frustration. It feels satisfactory when the mug shatters into tiny pieces when it hits the wall. Only for a split second though. It’s clearly not enough. He can destroy this entire room if he wants to. Maybe then he’d feel satisfied. Or not. Either way Mrs. Kim won’t be happy to see the damage. Jungkook rubs his face frustratingly before dropping into his desk chair.
He just needs to relax.
Deep breaths maybe.
And fuck, breathing hurts. His chest hurts. He knows it’s not physical. But it certainly does feel physical. The squeeze in his heart. He absolutely doesn't want his anger to morph into pain. No. But that’s what is happening. It hurts so much. So damn much his sight is getting blurry with tears. There’s a lump forming in his throat.
“Fuck!” Jungkook curses aloud. His cheap desk lamp faces the same fate as his mug when he sweeps it off the table.
He can’t cry.
He doesn't want to cry.
Why does it even hurt this way? It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s not like you and he have been in love or something. It’s just a stupid crush. And maybe, just maybe he knew this was coming all along. That you were starting to fall for that motherfucker. Of course, he knew. He saw that happen but he just decided to ignore it. Turn a blind eye just because he was too selfish to let go. He chose to believe your words for it. When you said you don’t like Jimin, Jungkook decided to just hang onto that hope. Who was he kidding? You were always too worried. Too heart broken. Too invested. Signs were always there. But he didn’t want to acknowledge them.
Even now, when you had admitted it with your own mouth, Jungkook doesn’t want to believe it. To him it feels like Jimin has lured you into that. Like it’s not your fault but entirely Jimin’s. Jimin does not fucking deserve you. He puts you through so much pain probably because you’re a good fuck to him. Hell, Jimin probably doesn't like you. It pains Jungkook to think how you still want Jimin.
Why the fuck does it have to be like this? Why can’t it be easy?
Jungkook curls his fists into tight balls as the squeeze in his heart intensifies.
This is the most pain he’s been in after his so- called ex broke up with him to follow her dreams. This is exactly why J and Namjoon were worried. Jungkook always gets too attached. Too smitten. And he always ends up being heart broken. Just like this. What’s most pathetic is how he never even had a chance. You don’t even know what’s happening. You must be so damn confused why he is so rude to you. You don’t know that he’s not just being a good friend.
He cares about you. Of course, he does. He doesn’t want to see you hurt and crying. It hurts him too. But also, he wants you to want him too. How much of a beautiful dream it would be. But it’s too late now isn’t it?
Funny, how he thought he’d actually have a chance. How he had thought you’d actually end things with Jimin. Oh, how he wanted to kill Jimin that day at the restaurant. He knew you had given yourself to Jimin yet again, the moment you came back inside the kitchen. Can you blame him for being mad? Ignoring you because it had hurt him? Waiting just to see if you’d put effort for him? You did, yes. But at what cost, though? Look at him now.
Jungkook takes a deep breath. Blinking back the tears. There’s no reason to cry. It’s just a silly crush and it’d go away. He just liked you and you don’t like him in return. That’s how sometimes the world works and he needs to accept it. Now since you’ve told him yourself that you like Jimin, he should let you go. Maybe he’ll learn not to care too much and everything will be fine. He can be the friend you want him to be. Right?
Yes, of course. Everything’s going to be fine.
Jungkook averts his gaze to the window by the table. He has his curtains pulled aside but there’s no light coming through them. Outside is too gloomy. Harsh rain drops are beating against his window. Rain has swelled into a deafening cascade.
Wait!
Jungkook perks up suddenly in alert. Glancing back at his closed bedroom door. He sure did hear the front door opening and closing. A warning alarm starts to ring inside his head. You left the apartment for sure. But where did you go? It’s fucking down pouring. Did you go to the restaurant? If you did then that’s fine but what if you- stupid stubborn brat- have gone outside. Jungkook stands up abruptly. Worry etching into his whole body.
So much for learning how not to care too much. Will he ever be able to learn that?
Will he?
Jungkook takes a minute. A minute to think you are in danger. Hurt. Physically or mentally. A shiver runs down his spine at the prospect. Your pained face flashes across his mind. The way you had looked at him when he called you Li. The way you called after him and your vain attempt to stop him. The hurt in your eyes. Fuck! He hurt you. And above all the fucked up emotions he’s feeling, guilt roars.
He hurt you.
Jungkook stumbles toward the door in a rush. Not even knowing where he’s going as he storms out of the apartment.
……………………..
A breath of relief escapes Jungkook’s lips just as he enters the back alley of Kim's restaurant and his eyes fall upon your curled figure on an empty beer crate. A cigarette between your fingers as you exhale a slow drag. The heavy rain pelting the asphalt roads sends tiny splashes around, wetting your small figure. Jungkook clenches his jaw out of frustration. It had taken him a good ten minutes to find you. Mrs. Kim was the one who finally pointed him in the right direction. And you’ve been here this whole time getting drenched like an idiot?
“Are you a fucking idiot?” Jungkook walks toward you with furrowed brows. You jerk as you turn your head toward him. That’s when he catches the redness in your eyes. Puffy. His heart aches painfully. He’s the one who made you cry. Not Jimin. He’s just like Jimin, after all. Hurting you. Jungkook hides his pain behind the mask of annoyance as he grabs another empty crate and turns it upside down. “Can’t you see it’s fucking raining? What the hell are you doing here dressed like that and-” He rakes his eyes over your figure. You’ve not even wearing any shoes for fucks sake. “- God, it’s cold Noona, you’ll get sick.” Sits on the crate. Examining your features. You say nothing. Just look away. Nor do you protest when Jungkook steals your cigarette. “Yah!” So, Jungkook has to make you look at him. He does it by grabbing your chin. You still don’t say anything but just gaping at him. Then you push his hand away.
“Thought you wanted to be alone.” Finally speak. Eyes back on the road.
“Yes, and I changed my mind.” Jungkook takes a drag from the cigarette before he throws it to a puddle near him.
“Yah!” Your whiny protest is drowned out by a loud thunder. “That’s the last one I had.” Yet you continue to complain.
“It’s okay. I have a pack with me. Let’s go inside, hm?” He eyes you apologetically. You pout adorably. Don’t answer his question, however.
“Why did you change your mind?” You ask instead.
“You know why Noona. Because I care too fucking much.” A silence falls. Stretches.
“I really don’t want you to care, Jungkook.”
“Well, I already told you once that it’s not up to you to decide. It’s up to me.”
“Then don’t fucking get mad at me because I don’t know what to do either. I can’t fucking-”
“Help it. Yes, I know.” Jungkook completes for you. Not because he doesn’t want to listen to you. But because he knows. He knows you can’t help it. Just like he can’t help it either. You turn your glassy eyes toward him. You’re about to cry again. You’re hurting. Jungkook feels his feigned annoyance evaporate into thin air. He throws his arm around you. Drags you into his side. You snuggle against him immediately. “I know you can’t, baby. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have-” Jungkook has to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in his throat. “- yelled at you. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry.”
“I really don’t want to fight with you Kookie. Don’t want you to be mad at me. Don’t want to lose you either. You’re so precious to me.” You mumble against his chest. He tightens his grip on you.
“I know, Noona.” He presses a gentle kiss in your hair. He knows exactly how you use the word precious. You’re just telling him how important he is to you as a friend. A fucking friend. Only if you knew the truth, though. The way he wants to kiss you hard now. Hard enough that you’d forget any other man’s name but his. It’s not fair on you really. He had lashed out on you earlier because he was so hurt to hear you say that you like someone else who’s not him. Because he likes you. Too much. And it’s not your fault. But he can’t tell you that now, can he?
He should. He should let you know what a messed up situation this is. Should let you decide what you’re going to do. Then there's his selfish part. He cares about you dearly, but at the same time he doesn’t want to let you go. Even when he knows you like Jimin. Even when he knows he is just a friend to you. He doesn’t want to. He still wants to keep you with him someway. It’ll hurt even more if he does that. To see you with Jimin. Still, Jungkook wants loads of moments just like now. With you. Just you and him. How selfish.
Jungkook places his chin on your head. Looking past you. A moment ago he was so hurt that he thought it’s really time he should let go. Until now. At this moment when he finds solace in you. Peaceful. Painful, yes but also peaceful. Fuck everything else and future heartbreaks. If Jimin can be fucking selfish, then he can too. He’s not just going to let you go. No. Because he can’t. He’s too fucked up. Can’t even imagine how it’d be to not have you in his place. It’s already hard in the days you’re not here. So, yes. He’s messed up everything already.
He’s in trouble. He likes you a little too much. And he’s ready to fight. So is he ready to get hurt and pretend like he’s mad just because he cares. “I’m so sorry.” He mumbles again. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know but Jimin isn’t going to hurt me. Not intentionally anyway.” You finally raise your head. Jungkook lets you reluctantly. He wants to laugh at your words. Doesn’t, however. Just scoffs.
“We’ll see about that. I mean, I’m on your side like I always said but,” He looks at your tear stained face. “I’m gonna break his bones one of these days. I’m on your side, not his. He’s still a fucking shithole and someone needs to knock some sense into him.” Looks away from you.
“Yah! You won’t do such a thing, Jeon Jungkook.” You nudge him with your shoulder. Jungkook just looks at you with a stern face. “I mean, he does things..uh.. but he has his reasons.” You reason weakly. Oh, how Jungkook hates when you defend Jimin.
“Yeah? Like what?” You don’t answer that. “Exactly what I thought.” Jungkook doesn’t want to be rude to you. But can’t help but pointing you at the truth either. For selfish reasons, of course. Your face falls. Oh, fuck he doesn’t like to see you upset. “Okay, then I won’t break all of his bones, just one maybe.” Jungkook sighs heavily as he adds. He’s in no mood to joke. Yet he wants to lift up yours. Wants to make you laugh. It doesn’t give the desired effect, however. You scowl deeply at him. “Oh c,mon,he has 206. I can totally break one and that’s not a big deal.” He rolls his eyes. You gape at him for a minute before a laugh slips through your beautiful lips.
“Oh my god, Jungkook. You’re the fucking worst.” You shove him away. Playfully. And Jungkook really can’t help the way his mouth stretched into a wide grin. It’s scary how you can do that to him. Well, he’s not going to dwell on that. This is going to end very badly. But until then he’s going to be selfish and keep you. Makes you happy and be the shoulder you come to cry. He’d not think about his own sanity. He’s fucking crazy anyway. So fucked up.
Jungkook snakes an arm around your figure again. You rest your head on his shoulder. “But seriously, Noona, I’m so sorry for- uh- earlier-”
“You don’t have to apologize, Kookie.”
“Yeah? How about Ice cream then?”
“Hm, that sounds acceptable.” A soft giggle escapes you.
“Deal.” Jungkook mutters. “Oh, and Tae wants us to hang out at his place tonight. Dinner or something. And he specifically said drinks are on him. I think he wants to pay back Namjoon since those animals just inhaled all the alcohol that day.” He quickly adds. You straighten up immediately.
“Really? And you want to go? I thought you don’t like any of them. You looked like you wanted to kill Tae.” You blink at his face confused. To tell the truth, Jungkook doesn’t like them. Because Taehyung and the rest are helping Jimin to ruin you. Helping Jimin to take you away from him. But if he thinks about it, if it wasn’t for that, Jungkook would have become best buddies with Taehyung. Jungkook likes Taehyung. Or at least he did before all this. Their energy just matches. So, he thinks maybe he'd be able to look past everything. Besides, you look like you need all the distractions in the world.
“Yes. I want to go. I mean free drinks Noona. Who’s gonna turn that down? Not me for sure.” He gives you a smug look. You accept that excuse. “And if I have time, I’ll find a way to kill our host. Now-” Jungkook stands up from the crate. Holds his hand for you. You take it without questions. “-let’s just bribe you with Ice cream.” He pulls you to your feet.
You giggle adorably.
Jungkook thinks his heart just exploded.
………………………..
There were two main reasons for you to be excited about a hang-out at Taehyung’s place. Much needed distraction and a fun night was obviously the second reason. Your first and main reason for wanting to be here tonight undoubtedly was Jimin. You expected to see Jimin for the first time after weeks at Taehyung’s place. You were giddy and excited like a silly school girl about the prospect. Butterflies were swarming inside your tummy as you got ready for the night. Beautifully. Putting up extra effort to appear a little bit more sexy than you already were. You didn’t even want a chance to talk with Jimin. No need of hearing any explanations. You just wanted to see him. Wanted to see the way he beams to see you back. A little boyish smile from him.
But now when you’re here. Sitting at Taehyung’s couch, obviously third wheeling two J’s- Jin and J- you feel utterly stupid. Oh, so stupid. There’s not a sign of Park Jimin. At first you thought he’s just late. It’s been more than two hours now, however. At this rate you’re positive that he isn't attending. How ridiculous. All the effort you put in is for nothing.
You throw a sneaky glance at your phone. You have texted him like five times now. No reply. Not for a single one. Oh, how you want to scream. You’re getting restless. This puts you on edge. It makes you sad if he’s not going to be here but what makes you mad is the fact that he’s ignoring you. The night is going to be exhausting for you. At least Jungkook is enjoying himself. You look at him at the other corner of the living room. Being so enamoured about Taehyung’s little figurine collection. Despite claiming he didn’t like Taehyung, he seemed to be getting along with him quite well. Is clinging to Taehyung at his hip.
Funny thing. Jungkook is.
As though he sensed your stares Jungkook turns around at the right moment. Meeting your eyes and beaming. “Noona. Have you seen this? This little shit has the entire collection of Eclipse Vanguard.” Walks toward you with a figurine that looks like a frog. A frog eating a sandwich. You throw a skeptical glance at it when Jungkook holds it for you. You don’t know what that movie is. But have heard Jungkook talk about it before.
“I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear you calling me a little shit.” Taehyung grumbles as he joins you two. Both you and Jungkook ignore him.
“Why’s it a frog and why is the damn frog eating a sandwich?” You inspect the figurine on your hands.
“That’s the snack guardian. That’s why he’s eating a sandwich.” Jungkook plops next to you on the couch with a grin. You snort loudly. Guardian of what now? Open your mouth to tell him how ridiculous that sounds when Taehyung interrupts you.
“Wait? You haven’t watched Eclipse Vanguard? How’s that even possible?” He questions in disbelief. Sits at the armchair right across from you. A glass of whiskey in his hand.
Oh, fuck!
You stare at his face dumbly for a second before averting your gaze to Jungkook. In hope that he’d save you from the situation. He does.
“Why not? She doesn’t like that movie.” Jungkook states, matter of factly. Even nods to prove his point. You agree with Jungkook by violently nodding.
“Yes. I hate it.” Add just for the sake of it. Taehyung lets out a loud gasp in offense. Turns his mouth into a wide ‘o’ and clutches his chest. Tries to say something when Yoona butts in.
“Really? You hate it? I mean, as a person who loves art, I normally don’t watch shitty movies but I loved the Eclipse V. Series. Not so bad.” She hands over another drink to Namjoon before sitting on his lap. Taehyung is apparently showering everyone with drinks. And everyone seems to be in a good mood. Except you, of course.
“No, no. It’s the shittiest I’ve ever seen.” J suddenly perks up. Leans forward so she can look at you over Jin. “If you haven’t seen it yet, Li, just trust me, don’t watch it.”
“Yah! Do. Not. Fucking. Shit. Talk about my favourite movie.” Jungkook bellows as he throws a cushion at J, which Jin catches easily.
“But it is the shittiest. I can’t even understand why you guys like it.” J flips off Jungkook before turning his attention to Jin. “Don’t tell me you like it too?” Questions. Jin opens his mouth awkwardly. Just to close it back and give J a sheepish smile.
“If you tell you don’t like it Hyung, I’m gonna burn your entire CD collection and steal your figurines.” Hoseok mindlessly says as he’s scrolling through his phone. The guy looks surprisingly sober compared to other gatherings you’ve had before. Yoongi snorts. “You have a collection too?” Asks Jin smugly when Jin groans. Ignores Yoongi.
“I’d like to see you try stealing my collection Hobi. In case you don’t know I can be pretty violent if I want to.”
Everyone breaks into stating their own opinions following that. Someone arguing why Seokjin would never be violent while someone going on about why Eclipse Vanguard is a good movie. None of it makes any sense and is not related to each other. Yet, it’s getting heated, nonetheless. Taehyung even has to sit up and guard his little figurines from J. Jungkook joins him as well. A small smile graces over your lips at the sudden chaos in the wonderland as your eyes drift to your empty wine glass. You’ve already downed flour glasses. Are getting there while already being more than tipsy. But you’re up to get drunk until your vision turns black tonight.
You get up on your feet while Jin tries to explain to an offended J, why she has an awful taste.
“Well, if I have a bad taste, then what does that tell about you, Mr. Kim. Seok. Jin. You’re obviously one of my choices and are you telling me that you’re an awful one.” J tilts her head sassily as you pass her.
You quickly glance at Jungkook to check if he wants another drink but he’s busy creating a pillow fortress around Taehyung’s figurines. Drunk. Is already drunk. Just like Taehyung. Two men are giggling like teenage girls. You shake your head as you walk past everyone toward the kitchen. Namjoon and Yoona are in their own world while Hoseok and Yoongi are in a serious conversation. You guess the topic of that very serious conversation is about the same movie.
You enter the silent and empty kitchen. You’ve had pizza for dinner. Empty pizza boxes are still lying on the kitchen counter, surrounded by different liquor bottles. Seoyeon isn’t going to be happy about the mess. You pick up the red wine bottle thinking that you should get this cleaned before you leave.
When you asked Taehyung about Seoyeon’s whereabouts he had just vaguely mumbled she had work. No one questioned anything more.
You fill the glass to the brim with expensive wine. Well, you want to get drunk and Taehyung is giving you free drinks. Who can complain? You sip your drink a little as you turn around to join the crowd again. Only to come into a dead halt and jump in your spot at the sudden figure just appears in front of you.
“Holy shit!” You curse aloud as some of the wine spills onto your black top.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Jimin blurts out as he grabs some tissues. Walking directly toward you and starting to dab at your blouse, right away. You just peer at his face with an open mouth.
Oh!
Jimin.
He’s here finally. Jimin made it.
You feel that giddy sensation inside you. Almost makes you grin wide but you catch yourself. He’s here. But he hasn’t replied to your texts and has been putting you on the edge. You click your tongue in annoyance. Snatch the tissues from Jimin’s hand, making the poor guy startle.
“I can do it myself.” You grumble. Start to dab away the spilled wine from your top. Trying not to look at Jimin but he makes your attempt futile by softly grabbing your chin. Tilt your face upward. Peers at your eyes.
“Hey!” Mumbles oh, so softly that you’re positive you just melted into a little puddle. Your annoyance starts to dissipate under his warm gaze. You hate the effect he has on you. “Someone’s in a mood.” Jimin adds. Gives you an amused smile. Bites on his bottom lip that you can’t help but drop your gaze into his pink lips.
“I am in a mood. You didn’t even reply to me.” You pout. Now you look at him closely and carefully, you can see how tired he looks. There’s that glint in his eyes but he looks exhausted. You can understand he has a job to do. And maybe you shouldn’t give him a hard time too. So, you sigh heavily, ready to apologize and say that it’s okay. Jimin beats you to it, however. His amused smile vanishes. Entire expression turns so serious that you feel your stomach churn uncomfortably. A prickle of sensation that something isn’t right engulfs you whole.
“I’m sorry. I had to uh…” You flicker your gaze between Jimin’s brown orbs. Waiting patiently for him to tell you what happened while he hesitates. You want him to tell you. You want to know. Not because you’re nosy and curious but it makes you happy to think that Jimin tells you about his problems. How funny. But you need that. Yet his next words make you regret ever wanting to know that at all. “Was with Liya’s family. A dinner.” Jimin drops his hand down.
You feel your stomach drop.
“Oh!” That’s all you could come up with. There’s a sudden bitterness in your tongue. Your blood starts to boil.
Jealousy!
There’s no way you can deny it anymore. No way you can mistake it as something else. You’re undoubtedly, unmistakably are getting fucking jealous. Well, of course, you are. You like Park Jimin. A lot in that case. Anything and everything that has him to do with another girl makes you burn with jealousy. Even though you have no right to. Jimin would think you’re crazy if he ever knew. So, you bite inside your cheeks to calm yourself. Try to say it’s cool when a sudden voice interrupts you.
“No Seoyeon, I can’t drink tonight. It’s an early morning tomorrow.” You recognize the voice right away. Jimin steps away from you. Just a little. You pretend that it doesn't hurt you when Seoyoen enters the kitchen first, closely followed by Kim Liya. Why would you even be surprised? This is Seoyeon’s place and Liya is going to be here. That doesn’t make you feel any better, however.
Seoyeon stops dead at the track right as her eyes land on you. Liya stops behind her. Her eyes darting between you and Jimin. You feel small under the attention.
“Why are you here?” Seoyeon questions with a sharp edge in her voice. Heat rushes to your face instantly.
Oh, how embarrassing. You don’t even know how to answer her.
“Probably because she’s invited.” Jimin answers on your behalf. Which you don’t appreciate much by the way Seoyeon throws him a scandalous look. A moment passes.
“Why are you speaking for her? She can’t talk?” Seoyeon scoffs. “It’s okay Seo.” Liya breaths out. Steps around Seoyeon to walk toward the drinks. You throw a skeptical glance at her. Seoyeon, however, isn’t ready to listen to her best friend, it seems.
“It’s not okay, Liya.” She mumbles before pointing a finger toward you. “You.” She grits. “How fucking dare you come here, after all the shits you’ve done? To my place at that? After you went behind my best friend's back? What kind of a sister are you? And you have the fucking audacity to step inside my house-”
“Okay, shut the fuck up Seoyoen. It’s none of your fucking business.” You wince when Jimin’s sudden voice booms across the spacious kitchen.
“How’s that not my business? This is my house for fucks sake!”
“Then ask your damn boyfriend why he invited her.” A silence falls. For a second before Taehyung breaks it by barging in. Just by the look on his face, you know people heard the commotion inside the kitchen. Taehyung is scowling deeply and his jaw is slack when he makes it next to Seoyeon.
“What’s happening?” He asks Jimin. Jimin chuckles. In a very taunting way. “Ask your rude little girlfriend. You forgot to get her permission before inviting people here.” Jimin glares at Seoyeon so hard that you worry she’d actually burn for a minute. Taehyung throws Jimin a look in displeasure. It’s a low blow, after all.
“I don’t need anyone’s permission to invite my friends to my place.” Taehyung puts extra emphasis in the last few words. Averts his gaze to his girlfriend. Seoyeon doesn’t look back at him. Her eyes are still on you. You feel beyond uncomfortable at this rate. And that intensifies when you catch Jungkook entering the kitchen. A murderous glare in his eyes. This is not good. You don’t want anyone to fight.
“Yeah? But you can’t fucking invite sluts to our home, Kim Taehyung.”
“What the fuck did you say?” Jimin steps forward just a second before Jungkook does. You just want to shrink. Want the floor to split open and swallow you whole.
“I called her a slut, Jimin. Why? Does that bother you?”
“For fucks sake Seoyeon, will you just shut up?” Teahyung doesn’t let Jimin tell anything else. You feel your head spin. Seoyeon yells something that doesn’t quite reach your ears. So does Taehyung. You wander your gaze from the fighting couple to Jungkook. Just standing there like an animal ready to attack his prey any minute.
God this is not good.
You notice with your blurry gaze that the rest of your friends have made it to the kitchen as well. Great! Now you’re making a fool out of yourself in front of everyone, again. You’re causing chaos everywhere you go. The argument is getting heated by every passing minute. You need to end this. Or at least you need to remove the cause of this stupid fight. Which is you.
“I’ll just leave.” You shout over everyone’s voice. Everything falls into silence at once. All eyes are dropping on you. “Kookie, can we go?” You ask Jungkook. Don’t wait for his answer as you almost step away. Almost since even before you can take a step forward, Jimin’s hand grabs your wrist tightly.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
What?
You feel your heart beating in your throat. This is ridiculous. See now, you’d be very glad that Jimin is standing with you. Defending you. Taking your side. But at this moment, you think it’d do more harm than any good. The way Jin’s- who’s standing behind a horrified looking J- face tightens is the best proof for that. These people might have forgiven your sins once but now you’re sure they’d just want to kill you with their bare hands.
“Jimin.” You whisper yells to no avail. Jimin gives you a look. You’re getting embarrassed.
“Gosh, this is-” Seoyeon rakes her fingers through her raven hair. “Why the fuck are you just watching this Liya?” Suddenly turns to Liya. Who’s been awfully quiet all these times. Hell, you nearly even forgot her. You turn your head toward her to catch her just sipping wine.
Really?
She straightens up when attention falls on her. “What? It’s not like that anyone would listen to anyone, anyway.” She shrugs. Looks like she’s made a point but no one seems impressed. “Okay.” So, she sighs after a beat. Looks at Jimin. “I mean, it’s good that my boyfriend is sticking up to my family.” States as a smile spreads across her face. You feel Jimin tense beside you. Something is wrong. “I really appreciate you taking my side Seo,” Liya averts her eyes to Seoyeon again. “But, it's a little rude and impolite that you’re asking to leave a guest who’s clearly invited here.” Places her wine glass away.
Okay, now this doesn’t make any sense. What the fuck is Liya doing. Even Seoyeon looks baffled. Her entire face turns red. Opens and closes her mouth like a goldfish. “Are you serious, right now?” Mutters almost inaudibly.
“Yes. Very. Besides, even though I didn’t expect to see my sister here, I’m glad that you’re here.” Liya pays her full attention to you now. Her eyes flicker to where Jimin is touching you. It feels like her gaze can burn you. You get the urge to yank your hand away but Jimin doesn’t allow you. “Since you miss the family dinner and all.” She smiles again. A smile that oozes venom. You watch her smug expression. Not exactly knowing whether you want to hear what she has to say or not. Before anything, however, Jimin steps up. Drags you behind him. As if he’s afraid that Liya’d hit you again.
“Not now, Liya!” States sternly. That voice doesn’t do anything to falter Liya’s smile, though.
“Why not? She’s family. She deserves to know it. And so does everyone here. Taehyung here would be heartbroken if you hide something so important from him, baby.” Liya gestures to Taehyung, who’s looking at Jimin intently.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Seoyeon is the one who raises the question, however. Liya gives Jimin a ‘see what I said’ kind of look. Jimin ignores her. Turns to you. Looks past you and glance at the still very dangerously calm and collected Jungkook.
“You’re both drunk. Let me drop you both off.” Mumbles. You know he’s trying to avoid whatever Liya is about to say. And for some reason, you don’t want to listen to that either. You nod lightly and almost turn to Jungkook to see if he agrees when Liya chuckles.
“We’re getting engaged.” Her voice comes out loud and clear. Enough to be heard by everyone in the vicinity. And you freeze. Completely. Your ears start to ring and your heart beat slows down.
They are doing, what now?
“Wait? What?” You don’t know who asks that. Maybe, Hoseok. Or Taehyung.
“Engaging? When? Why all of a sudden?” That’s definitely Jin and he steps all the way inside the kitchen. You look at Jimin. Confused. He looks stressed. Pissed but also guilty. That’s not good.
“No. It’s not-” Jimin starts only to get interrupted.
“No? Oh, but I thought we both agreed, Jimin. When my parents asked about it?” Liya steps toward Jimin and he finally lets go of your hand. His full attention on Liya.
“You agreed, not me.” Jimin shouts.
“Then what? Did you say no? I didn’t hear you say no.”
“Wait? Just tell us what’s the fucking rush?” Hoseok butts in. His voice is serious. You don’t want to be here.
“There’s no rush Hoseok. We’ve been together for like five years and my parents think it’s time. I think it’s time.” Liya answers Hoseok dismissively. You want to go.
“Can we fucking talk about this later? This is ridiculous that you brought this up in front of everyone.” Jimin grabs Liya’s attention back to him. “I just announced the happy news, Jimin.” Liya counters.
Happy news!
How funny that you don’t see a single happy person here. Half looks surprised, Seoyeon being the most surprised one. And the other half looks angry, Jimin being the most angered one. This is humiliating. You don’t know what other people are thinking about you. Do they pity you? Disgust you?
You just want to leave.
Well, no one’s stopping you right now. Jimin is no longer holding you. You can leave. You turn to Jungkook instantly. Don’t give a fuck about what’s happening here anymore. It doesn’t matter anyway. It hurts, yes. So damn much but you think this is how it’s always meant to end. You were and always will be the other woman. You shouldn’t have let Jimin drag you back into this mess. Maybe Jungkook is right. Jimin is playing you skillfully.
“Kookie, let’s leave.” You mumble to Jungkook. Jungkook perks up. His expression is unreadable. He says nothing, however. Just nods.
You turn to Liya at the same time Jimin turns to you. “Congratulations, you both!” You mutter looking between Jimin and Liya. You don’t want to appear weak. You like Jimin but only you and Jungkook know. You think it’s embarrassing to let other people know the truth as well. It’s better to keep your dignity and walk away like this is nothing. You force yourself to smile.
“No, what? Lil, no. I’ll just- wait for me, I’ll drop you both off.” Jimin tries again to stop you but you avoid his hands successfully this time.
“No need Jimin. We’ll take a cab. Just- uh.. Yeah, see you guys later.” You bow lightly to everyone. Yes, you can pretend everything’s fine and leave. Can cry later and nobody would ever know how hurt you are. As long as they don’t know it’s not humiliating. Jimin, however, doesn’t appear to understand at all.
“No, fuck no. I’m coming with you or you’re staying here.” You look at the way that familiar fire inside his eyes. And that fire ignites the gasoline inside you. You feel your nerves lit up. How dare he think he can demand you? After everything? Yet before you can say anything else a hand comes landing on Jimin’s chest firmly.
“She said she wants to leave, asshole.” Jungkook shouts at the same time he pushes Jimin back. Gets Jimin in surprise that he loses his balance for a minute before he catches himself. Then before you know it he's grabbing from Jungkook’s t-shirt.
“The fuck is your problem, Jeon. Fucking stay away.” Jimin grits. Pushes Jungkook too. A shiver runs through you. Jungkook mutters something incoherent as he lashes at Jimin. This time Jimin being ready to avoid it and fight back but you step between them immediately.
“No. Kook. No..” You place your hand on his chest.
“Fucking stay away Noona.” Jungkook doesn’t listen to you. So, you have no other options but to yell.
“Fucking stop acting like a kid, will you?” It works. He halts. Turns his furious glare at you. Takes a minute then a soft chuckle leaves him. “I want to leave. Just fucking go.” That’s all you say before you grab his hand. Starting to storm away. Jimin says something else in panic. You’re positive he tries to follow you. Last thing you hear is Taehyung stopping him.
“Let them leave Jimin. Not like you’re gonna solve this mess, anyway.”
Exactly!
He’s not going to solve this mess at all.
……………………..
The entire cab ride into Jungkook’s place happened in silence. In deafening silence but the tension and the anger brewing inside both of you screamed so palpable it felt almost audible.
You were mad at lots of things. Mad at yourself for falling into Jimin’s spell again when you knew deep down that it would never end well. Mad that you allow yourself to walk into this mess. Fall for Jimin. You’re mad at Jimin for being so selfish. For giving you false promises about everything getting better one day when he probably doesn’t even like you. Mad at Jimin for acting that way in front of everyone and making them hate you even more. Mad at Jimin for making you like him when you have no hopes at all.
Then you’re mad at Jungkook. For trying to fight Jimin like a mad cow when it wasn’t his battle to fight. For letting his emotions get the best of him.For making you feel and appear weak. Making you look like you can’t stand up for yourself. But above all you’re mad at this stupid situation that has put you in this mess.
Fuck everything.
You are still vibrating with your anger by the time you enter Jungkook’s house behind him. You close the door behind you. Glare at his retreating figure. Not even caring to remove his shoes.
“Remove your fucking shoes, Joen.” You shout, making him stop. Just for him to ignore you and continue walking. “Yah!” You kick away your own shoes. Follow after Jungkook to stop him by grabbing his arm. “You’re making a mess of the floor.” You turn him around.
“And why the fuck would you care?” He matches your voice.
“Because you’re dirtying the floor.” Both of you know that you don’t give a damn about the floor. You’re just trying to pick up a fight. And you feel frustrated when Jungkook just removes his shoes without a word. Steps out of them.
“Happy?” Asks. Starts to walk away again. You feel like crying due to the burning anger inside you.
“Why did you do that?” You just won’t let Jungkook off the hook that easily. It’s not fair really. Sweet Jungkook doesn’t deserve to be the target of your wrath for many different things. But you’re too deep in your emotions to care.
“Did what?” Jungkook breaths out.
“Fight Jimin?”
“Really?” Jungkook turns around again. “Well, I did tell you that I’m going to break his bones one of these days, didn’t I? And that fucker need to know his place. I don’t give a fuck about his status or anything else Noona. He just can’t demand you around like that when he’s the one in the wrong. Who the fuck does he think he is?”
“I could’ve handled it perfectly fine by myself. I don’t want you to fucking fight on my behalf.”
“Then fucking do it, dammit.” Jungkook closes the distance between you like a flash. Cups your cheeks and pushes you back so fast that you don’t even register your back has hit the wall. “Then do it. Call him now, ask him to fuck off and leave you alone. Tell him that it’s fucking over. You didn’t fight for yourself, Noona. You just stood there looking like a broken doll. You were so worried and looking forward to seeing him when he was planning his damn engagement. And then you just congratulate them? What the fucking is wrong with you? Why are you letting them belittle you that way?”
“I-I..” You try to come up with something. Just to realize that you don’t know what to say. You didn’t know that you looked broken that moment, after all.
“I don’t even get why you like Jimin, anyway. He’s a rude asshole like I always said. Why do you like him, Noona? What the fuck does he have? He made you cum so hard that you fell in love with him?” Jungkook brings his face inches closer to you. You gulp harshly. “Well, guess what, he’s not the only one who can do that. I can do it, you know. I can make you cum harder than him and can treat you way fucking better.”
“Ju-jungkook.” You feel dumb. Stunned. Completely speechless. Among everything, this is something you’ve expected the least. What’s Jungkook even talking about? No. No, he can’t be serious.
“I can do it all better, Noona.” Jungkook’s raised voice suddenly drops. Whispers against your mouth, instead. That’s the only warning you get before you feel his soft lips on yours. Harsh. Hard. Instantly falling into moving against your mouth. A surprised gasp leaves you as your eyes go wide. It takes your fogged mind a damn minute to register what’s happening. Too surprised. When it does, an alarm blares in your mind.
No. No. Not Jungkook.
You bring up a hand to push him away by his chest. Or at least try to. Jungkook just grabs that hand and holds it to your side, firmly. Not breaking your kiss.
No… you can’t do this. This is Jungkook. He’s too precious. You can’t allow a single mistake to ruin things between you.
Jungkook deepens the kiss. Muffles your weak protests. Bites onto your lower lip. Seek entrance into your mouth but when you don’t give it, he finally breaks apart.
“Noona, please.” He whines. Pleads. “Just let’s try one time.” Kisses the corner of your mouth. “Please.”
An involuntary shiver runs through your body.
No, no, no. You shouldn’t even think about this. It’s your Jungkook.
Then Jimin’s smile flashes across your mind.
You shouldn’t do this at all.
“C’mon baby, let me show you.” Jungkook inches his trail of kisses down toward your neck. Wet and sensual. You can’t help but whimper. Your head starts spinning. Alcohol in your system makes the electricity you’re feeling intensifies. You’re drunk and angry. If you do this, it’s going to be a huge mistake. But it feels good. And you can’t deny how attractive Jungkook is. He is no Jimin but still he’s a godly looking man and you’re just a woman. Besides, a distraction can do you good. A way to release this anger. It’s not like you’re obliged for Jimin, are you? If he can fucking plan on an engagement while you were pathetically waiting for his explanation, then you’re allowed to do anything you want. And Jungkook wants this too. He’s the one asking and begging.
You allow another beat to pass before you tangle your fingers in his black hair locks. Pull from them to get him facing you. Don’t even let Jungkook comprehend what’s happening as you attack his lips with yours. This time you don’t wait till he seeks entrance. Just push your tongue past his lips without any reluctance from his side. Jungkook groans in appreciation. Starts kissing you like he’s lost his mind. Rough and hard. Like he wants everything from you. Never breaks the intense kiss when he slips his hands past your ass. Toward your thighs. You moan aloud which he swallows when he picks you up from the floor easily. You tangle your legs around his waist. Keep kissing him ignoring your lungs’ protests until he walks both of you toward the couch.
Jungkook drops you into the couch. Bending down with you and still not breaking the kiss. You expect him to push you into your back and get on top of you. Then for much of your dismay, he just breaks the kiss. A trail of saliva connecting your kiss bitten lips. You whine in complaint when he smiles wickedly. But also somehow innocently. Kisses your throat. A shudder ripples through you.
“Gonna fucking worship you baby.” Kisses your shoulder. “Gonna treat you so well.” Kisses your nipple over your top. Your back arches.
“Kookie.”
“Treat you so so well.” Kisses your stomach. You tread your fingers in his hair again. Nearly comes on the spot when he goes into his knees. He urges your legs apart by your ankles. Bends them on your knees. Your skirt bunches up around your waist. He places a hard kiss into your pulsing core over your skirt. Rubs your thighs softly before bringing his hands closer toward the waistband of your panties. “Let me, baby.” Looks at you with the most hungriest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. Waits for your approval. You nod almost frantically. “Thankyou.” Jungkook mumbles. Drags your panties down through your legs.
You moan at the sensation of cool air at your heated core first. Then you moan at the way Jungkook’s eyes darken at the sight of your core. He audibly moans. Fucking moans.
“Holy shit, Jungkook.” You rasp while you feel a little shy under his scrutinising gaze.
“Holy shit, indeed. Fuck, Noona.” He averts his eyes from your core to your face. You blush hard. Almost cover your face with your palms when he acts faster than you. Holds into your hands. “Don’t please. You’re so fucking beautiful.” He purrs. Eyes back on your glistening pussy. “And wet. God you’re so wet, pet. Dripping.” Coos. Licks his lips. You buck your hips toward his face. Burning up from lust.
“Kookie please.” You croak. And Jungkook doesn’t let you suffer at all. Just as the words leave your mouth, you feel his nose nudging at your clit. Then his lips replace his nose. A tender kiss at your pearl. Your toes curl and your head falls back into the headrest. Then he places another kiss. Then another. A kiss after a kiss. Until you lose your mind. Jungkook pulls away after what felt like an eternity. Pauses to admire your core before looking directly in your eyes. Keeps his eyes on yours when he spits onto your clit.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Noona.” You tremble violently. Jungkook rubs his spit into your slit using two fingers. Slowly. Sensually. As if he has all the time in the world. Keeps rubbing over and over again. Making you gasp and moan. “The prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” Stares at your throbbing core as if he’s in a trance. Kisses your clit, yet again.
“Oh, God.” You press his face into your core, impatiently. He doesn’t complain. Just let you rub your aching cunt on his face. You whimper and whine. Which turns into broken moans when Jungkook parts his lips and wraps them around your clit. Starts sucking. Grazes his teeth softly. And you’re melting. So far gone in the pleasure Jungkook is creating between your thighs.
You just rock your hips mindlessly while Jungkook alters between sucking on your clit and licking your slit. His tongue poking at your entrance.
“Please, fuck.” You urge him to give you more. Jungkook apparently is an impatient lover. He can’t deny you nor can he control himself. His tongue enters you almost immediately. Fucking your quivering hole with his tongue. Coming up to make out with your clit. “Yes. Yes. Kookie, yes.” You choke out every now then. Lose your mind completely when his fingers replace his tongue soon. He waits for your permission like a good boy before he enters. But as soon as you just nod, he’s fingering you violently like it’s the last day on earth. As if you’re the last girl he’d ever get to finger. It takes a few experimental thrusts for Jungkook to find your sweet spot but he does rather quickly.
“Tastes so sweet, pet. God, you taste so sweet. Want your cum, hm. Want to eat your cum.” Jungkook mumbles against your slippery core. Like a mad man. And he looks so beautiful. Covered in your slick and eyes peering at you. “Cum on my tongue baby, please.” Pleads for no reason. You just nod. Fingers pulling from his hair. Hips keep rocking against his face. And his fingers relentlessly stroking that spot. Making your high goes higher and higher. Until there’s no place to go and it explodes. Explodes with you moaning inhumanly and almost ripping Jungkook’s hair away. With you screaming his name and Jungkook nearly crying as he starts to ravish on your cunt. He keeps doing that till it starts to hurt you. Until you start to push his face away.
He gives you one last sloppy lick. From your hole to your clit. Pulls his fingers out and cleans them as well. You just watch him in awe. Chest heaving. Expecting him to get to his feet and continue but he just lowers your legs. Smiles softly. “You okay?” Asks from you. You on the other hand are gaping at Jungkook like you’ve never seen him before.
He doesn’t want to continue?
“Kookie, what are you? You’re not going to?” You question. Confused. Jungkook grins. In adoration.
“No. It’s fine. Wanted you to feel good.” Stands up.
Hell, no. What you did was wrong. So, wrong. But to think that Jungkook doesn’t even receive anything in return makes you feel nauseous. Like you’ve used him. No. You don’t want that. You stumble into your feet immediately. Get Jungkook by surprise when you kneel in front of him in such a hurry.
“No-noona?” He stutters. You bunch up your fists in his pants.
“Sit down Jungkook. You’re not getting away that easily.”
“No. You don’t have to-”
“I know, I just want to. Please.” You bat your eyelashes. Places a kiss on his visible bulge. “I want to suck your cock Kookie. Want to taste you.” Jungkook curses aloud. “Fuck!” He has a weak self control, after all.
…………………..
Jungkook really believes that he’s about to die from the pleasure. That’s how good this feels. Your pretty lips are wrapped around his cock. Your teary eyes looking up at him. You, down on your knees for him. Worshipping his cock. Drooling and choking on his cock. His. It feels like a dream.
“Fuck, Noona.” He uses your hair to push you further into his cock. Hitting your throat. You gag. Close your eyes. Jungkook nearly bust a nut right there. He has to look away from you to prevent that from happening. “Oh, baby fuck.” He moans aloud. You’ve given him the permission to fuck your throat. But still, Jungkook is afraid of hurting you. You look like you’re enjoying this to the fullest, though. You moan around his cock right at the clue. “Yeah? You like this, pet?” Jungkook asks. You nod around him in answer. Oh, how delectable you look. How pliable and the things he wants to do to you. Can’t afford to scare you away, however. Jungkook bites back his questionable thoughts away to buck his hips into your mouth.
You gag again which soon turns into another moan. You’re a complete mess. Mascara running down your cheeks and makeup ruined. And the thought that he’s the one who made you that way gets Jungkook drunk without alcohol. Tears roll down your cheeks uncontrollably just like your spit drool down his cock. Making it slippery and messy. Complete, utter mess. But the most beautiful mess he’s ever seen, undoubtedly. Jungkook pushes your head down and keeps you there for a second before letting you go. You swirl your tongue around his tip when you come up. Then you’re pushing his cock back again into your throat.
“Oh, god you’re so good at this. You’re taking my cock so well baby. Keep going.” Jungkook lets you take the pace. Doing it in your own way and pleasuring him to a point of blacking out. Jungkook doesn’t want to think about anything beyond this moment. But for a fact, he knows that you’re currently ruining him for any other girl. He’d never be able to receive this kind of pleasure again. And just as he thinks this is the best and worst it can get you start shuffling. Jungkook watches in confusion when you adjust yourself in a way that you can straddle his leg. Your knees on either side of his leg and you lower yourself down.
“Holy fuck no. God, Noona. I’m-” Jungkook fists your hair hard and violently starts to thrust into your mouth just as you start to rub your cunt on his leg. He’s definitely going to die today. Your moans reverberate through his entire body, starting from his throbbing cock. “You’re such a pretty slut Noona. So fucking beautiful.” Jungkook bends down to move your skirt away. So, your cunt can rub directly onto his leg over his pants. He wishes he could just remove that too. But is too greedy to take his cock out from the warm confines of your mouth.
“Yeah, like that baby. Keep going. Rub your sweet cunt on my leg. Cum again for me.” So, he just encourages you while keep fucking your mouth. Over and over again. Using your pretty face he’s been dreaming of kissing for months. Letting himself fall into an endless pit of pleasure. His groans and your moans fill his otherwise quiet apartment together with your occasional gags and slurping sounds. Adding more fire to his desire. And just at the moment when your movements lose their rhythm and you come into a tense halt. Cumming all over his leg and crying out, Jungkook lost it too. He swears that he wanted to ask you if you wanted him to cum down your throat but it’s already too late. He shoots ropes after ropes of his cum into your throat. But you don’t seem to mind.
“Oh fuck Noona. Take that, yes.” He keeps you that way until his high rides down. “Good pet, yeah. Ahh.. You’re so good to me.” Until he has nothing to give you more. That’s when he lets you go. His softening cock slips from your mouth as you heave for air. Wipe your chin with the back of your hand.
It takes Jungkook another minute to come into his senses. You are still on your knees and straddling his leg. He lowers his gaze to you. Takes in your ruined appearance. This time, though, instead of a new spark of fire, he feels a pang in his chest.
Holy fuck! What has he done?
Jungkook’s heart beat starts to slow down. Weight of his action weighs heavy down his shoulders.
He just made you suck his cock. He made you do that when you were vulnerable and hurt. Angry and drunk. He let his primal instinct get over him and used you. Jungkook’s heart squeezes painfully. You make it worsen when you peer at him with innocent wide eyes.
Oh, no.
Jungkook works in autopilot mode when he bends down. Pulls you into your feet and then into his lap. You straddle him immediately. Your eyes are glistening. He can’t really read your expression. But he thinks you look sad. Broken. Hurt. Guilty. Jungkook completely ignores the fact that you both are still very half naked when he crushes you with a tight hug. You hide your face in his neck.
“I’m so sorry!”
You breathe out at the same time as he does. He freezes for a moment. Then it hits him. You’re apologizing for the same reason as he is. Even though you don’t have to. You never used him. It’s the other way around. But here you are. Jungkook presses you into his chest even tighter. Not being able to get enough of you. Not knowing how to fix anything.
“I’m so sorry, Noona.” He whispers in your ear when you hug him back with the same kind of fervour.
“Me too Kookie. I’m so sorry.” You pull away to peer at his face. “This won’t change anything right? You’d stay the same. Don’t want to lo-lose y-uou.” Jungkook’s heart physically hurts at the way your voice cracks. He hugs you back. Oh, how broken you look. Why would you ever think he’d change?
“Of course no, Noona. Nothing’s changed. I’m just your Kookie you always knew.” Even his voice sounds distant to him. But he can feel you nodding into his neck.
“Thankyou.”
………………………
You feel sick. You’ve felt this way ever since your shenanigans with Jungkook. It’s not that you despise Jungkook or anything. Quite the opposite to tell the truth. It’s just the fact that you’ve crossed a boundary you shouldn’t have. The fact that you could’ve easily ruined everything. And then there is the guilt. Guilt toward Jungkook. When you used him as your stress releaser. No matter how many times Jungkook would tell you that’s not the case and he’s at fault, you can’t shake off the guilt. And the guilt toward Jimin. You know very well that, despite Jimin’s jealousy and his words, you hold no obligation to stay faithful to him. He’s getting engaged for fucks sake. But yet you can’t help but feel sick. Can’t wipe off his beautiful smile from your mind. And the way that smile would falter if he knew what happened.
You feel like a cheap whore.
Funny, since you’ve always done worse. With Jimin. But you can put everything aside. Yet not the feeling that you betrayed Jimin.
You tried your best to make up your mind. To convince yourself that you’re not wrong and are allowed to do anything you want. It isn’t working, however. Not even after a day. You’ve had a very restless night after you went to sleep that night. After what happened with Jungkook. Then you had the worst day possible yesterday. Even got scolded from your favourite lecturer and of course, Chan. You were too caught up in your mind. Not being able to get rid of the guilty feeling, no matter how hard you try. And you’ve come to a decision last night.
You have to come clean.
You need to meet Jimin and tell him what happened. You know you don’t have to. That Jimin doesn’t deserve to know. But you need to do that. Otherwise these emotions would eat you up.
Hence the reason why you’re not standing in front of Jungkook’s apartment right now. Instead, you’re standing in front of a once very familiar lavish apartment building. You don’t even know what you’re about to do. Hell, you don’t even have an idea whether Jimin is home or not. Or if Liya is there or not. All you know is that you want to come clean. You’ve just given into your impulse and had only sent a text to Jungkook saying you’d be late.
Maybe you should check with Jimin. But something makes you hesitant.
So, you just walk inside the lobby. You don’t want permission. Know the password already. Have been here multiple times now. Yet it feels like your first time as you wait patiently inside the elevator. Are trembling like a leaf while you walk across the familiar hallway toward Jimin’s apartment. Your heart beats in your throat when you knock on his door.
Maybe this is a mistake. You shouldn’t have come.
Maybe you should turn-
You hold your breath when the door opens suddenly. You exhale that breath when you see it’s the exact person you wanted to see.
Jimin.
He genuinely looks surprised. Eyes wide. And glinting. A small smile spreads across his lips as well.
“Spring Roll?”
He gaps softly. Yet beside his glinting eyes, he looks even worse than the last time you saw him. Lips dry and blackness under his eyes. Nose a little red and hair tousled. Is in his work attire- minus the coat, but doesn’t look like the handsome CEO that he is. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s sick. “This- uh-” He stutters a bit. Nervously. Almost like a boy meeting his crush for the first time. In another context you would’ve swoon to see that. Not now though. The nerves are eating you up to be able to feel any butterflies. The prospect of what to come next makes you sweat like a pig.
Jimin, who’s very oblivious to your inner turmoil, opens the door wide for you. Still stuttering. “I'm a bit surprised. I mean you came- wait? You’re okay right? Nothing’s wrong?” Waits for you to answer. When you don’t he continues. Clasps his hands. “Listen baby, I know I’m always fucking up and all but I swear-”
“Jimin.” You stop his rambling. You don’t even know what he’s talking about. For a moment Jimin looks like he doesn’t want to listen to you. Looks like he’s about to plead and beg. Then probably at the sight of your paled face, he closes his mouth. Brows furrowing.
“What? What happened, baby? You’re okay, right?”
Oh, you feel like you’re about to faint.
“I- I….” Now you’re here, you have no idea what you should say.
Hi Jimin, Jungkook and I gave each other oral and now I feel like a slut. Just wanted to let you know.
Oh, how stupid you are. Why did you ever decide to come here this way?
“What is it, Spring Roll? You’re fucking making me worried.” Jimin takes a firm step toward you. His face is stony and concerned.
Okay, okay you got this. Just rip the bandaid off.
“Jungkook and I.. uh- I mean we…” You trail off again. Not knowing what to say. “We- it just happened but- uh-” Try again. Fail. But then Jimin’s stony face falls for a split second. A realization dawns upon him as you watch. You stand there like an idiot, feeling nervous when his eyes darken dangerously. There’s no need to explain everything. Of course, he picked up the pieces and connected them. His expression morphs into something predatory.
“You did what?” Yet when Jimin questions, his voice is calm. Too calm for your likings. Icy rage.
You shouldn’t have come.
“I- we- it just happened-”
“What the fuck did you do, Lil. Did you fuck?” Jimin shoves his hands in his pockets. His calm exterior breaking down. Your knees buckle under his icy gaze.
“No.. No..”
“Then what?”
You gulp harshly. Soothing your parched throat. This is fucking ridiculous. Why would you be so nervous talking to Jimin as if he’s your boyfriend. It’s not like you actually did something wrong. You should leave.
“Nothing. I shouldn’t have come here.” You ramble. Almost ready to turn around and run away when Jimin grabs your forearm. It all happens so fast for you to comprehend. The way he drags you inside. The way he closed the door behind. The way you’re trapped between him and the door.
“Well, you fucking did Spring Roll. And now you can’t just throw a bomb at me and walk away.” Jimin doesn’t touch you. Just keep you caged between the door and his body. “Tell me what the hell you did.” You just blankly stare at him. Previous nervousness you felt replacing with familiar anger. True that you came here to come clean and all but you don’t like the way he talks to you right now. And he makes it worse with his next words. “You wanted to do something to be even. Revenge. Because of what happened at Tae’s. Is that why? You wanted to make me jealous and you decided to go and fuck someone else?” Oh, your vision is turning red. “Guess what, princess, it’s fucking working. I’m burning from jealousy right now. I can kill that bastard. You. Win.”
“Oh, for fucks sake Jimin. Do I look like I want to do that?” You finally manage to talk back normally. Rage makes your nervousness disappear.
“Then what the fuck do you want? You came here to let me know after all?”
“So, you’d rather prefer I kept it a secret? Like you always do with everything. I fucking came because I feel oh so fucking guilty, Jimin. Like I’ve done something bad to you. I didn’t mean it to happen. I was mad, hurt, and fucking drunk. So was he. But I couldn’t shake off the guilt and I wanted to talk to you. Wan- wanted-” Your voice cracks making you stop rambling for a second. You breathe out before starting again. This time slowly. “Wanted to apologize. I’m not the one-”
That’s all you get to say when your words get muffled suddenly by Jimin’s lips. So sudden that you gasp loudly in surprise. He crushes his lips against yours without any warning. Starts to devour you right away. Takes advantage of the gasp you left out and enters his tongue inside your mouth immediately. Tangling with yours. Bites on your lips and sucks on your tongue. Hard. Swallows all your moans and squeezes your ass. You do what your instincts ask you to do. Wrap your hands around his neck and deepen the kiss. This is not how you should do this. But you can’t worry. There’s no use trying to fight it anymore. Jimin is your drug and you’ll always get addicted just with a simple touch.
Jimin keeps kissing you until you’re both breathless and panting. Pulls away right when you both can’t do it anymore.
“Fuck you, Lil.” He groans. Pants.
“Fuck you, too Park. You fucking ass-”
He kisses you again. Doesn’t let you finish your insult. Unfortunate how you don’t try to push him away. Instead you’re bringing him even closer. Grinding against him.
“You sure you want this?” Jimin withdraws just enough to ask you that. You nod without a beat. “Yeah? Cause, I’m gonna fucking ruin you, Lil. No one’s touching what’s mine. I told you that you’re mine.” Asks again. And his words make your blood liquid fire. You’re blazing.
“I’m positive. Whatever you want.” You peck his lips. Jimin takes a minute and then nods. Withdraws completely just to grab your wrist. And is walking inside his apartment while dragging you with him. You just let him do what he wants. Excitement bubbles inside you. You can feel your heart beating in your ears and your core throbs in anticipation. You missed Jimin.
Jimin stops in the middle of his living room. You take a quick glance around you. It looks the same. The couch. The coffee table. The book rack. And floor to ceiling windows. Leaking bright morning sunlight inside since the curtains are drawn open. You look at Jimin confusedly when he motions you to walk forward. Until you’re standing before one of the windows. You turn to look at him. Questioning with your eyes. Jimin holds both of your hands in his. Gently. A stark contrast to how sinister he looks.
“We need a safe word.” Mutters.
“Huh?” Your eyes widen. This is new. Jimin has always tried new things with you. Hell, he has made you cry during sex. And of course, was rough. But you never wanted a safe word. His words reverberated through your body. Making your clit throb.
“A safe word Lil. I don’t want to do anything you don’t like.”
You inhale a shaky breath. Take a minute. Then nod. “Yeah, fine. Um.. red.” State. It’s the first thing that comes to your mind. Can anyone blame you for not being damn creative when your panties are getting drenched and your clit is throbbing for any attention?
“Red, it is. Say the word and I’m gonna stop.” Jimin’s lips hover above you. You nod and wait patiently till he kisses you again. Only to be disappointed when he pulls away. Smirking.
Oh, this is going to be intense.
You watch in anticipation when Jimin takes a few steps back. You don’t dare to move or ask anything. Just clenching around nothing and rubbing your thighs together. An agonizingly slow beat passes in silence. You can hear your heart beat and the roar in your ears. Then Jimin just casually drops down into one of the arm chairs. Facing you directly. Relaxes.
“Strip.” Then his lowered voice echoes through the apartment. Such a simple and clear command. No complexities or confusion. Yet, here you are gaping at him with an open mouth.
What did he say?
“Don’t make me repeat Lil. Fucking strip.” Jimin repeats calmly.
Oh okay.
You turn around partially to look at the window behind you. You’re pretty high on the building. There’s not many other buildings reaching up to a similar height but there's one. Right across from Jimin’s apartment building. And you can clearly see inside the apartment on the same level. That means if someone is there and if they looked your way they would see you. A shiver ripples through your body. Jimin picks up on your hesitation. “Don’t care Lil. Just strip.” His dangerous rumble makes you turn your attention back to him. His predatory gaze is burning your skin.
You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. You know it. You even have a word now. Jimin’s not going to push you if you really don’t like something. But who are you kidding? You know that you won’t use the word. He knows that you won’t use it. You both know you’d just do as he says. And that’s exactly what you do. Doing as he demands. Getting rid of your clothes one by one. Until you’re bared down into your underwear. “Those too.” Jimin just casually coaches you. You relent. In a second, you’re standing completely naked in front of his eyes. Morning sun rays make your naked skin warm behind you. It’s warm but you’re trembling with excitement. Rubbing your thighs uncontrollably.
Jimin gaps. Groans. Bites down on his bottom lip. For a moment it looks like his control has slipped. Then he takes it back.
“Tease your nipples.” Instructs. You bring your both hands hesitantly toward your already hardened pebbles. Start doing as he says. Twirling your fingers over them and pinching. “Fuck, you look beautiful slut. But you let someone else see that?” You want to tell him that’s not exactly what happened. And that he’s currently risking letting the same thing happen with a stranger. You don’t, however. Are too turned on to be able to talk, let alone argue. So, you just keep teasing your nipples. A moan slips through your mouth.
“Squeeze your tits.” Jimin coaches again. You jump into action. Stop playing with your nipples and start massaging your soft mounds. Until Jimin finds it’s enough.
“That’s enough. Touch your clit, baby.”
You comply with his demands rather fast. Feel a little bit mortified. The whole situation is embarrassing. The window. The fact that Jimin is still very much clothed and you’re stark naked. The fact that you’re putting on a show for him. All of that is embarrassing. Humiliating. But also arousing. Your slickness is dripping down your thighs. And the moment your fingertips touch your bundle of nerves, your legs almost give up.
“Jimin.” You whimper as you start to rub figure eights on your throbbing clit.
“Ugh, fuck.” Jimin groans. Stars rubbing his bulge over his pants. “You like this, slut? Like being put on display?” You just nod. Frantically picking up the speed you’re working on yourself. Bringing yourself embarrassingly close to an orgasm. This turns you on into no end that your head is spinning. Just few more flicks and-
“Stop.” Jimin grunts. You slow down your fingers reluctantly. Whining and whimpering. Stop your movements altogether. Jimin lets a few seconds pass. “Again. Touch again.” Demands again. The fire inside you swallows you whole. It’s becoming a struggle to stay on your feets. Yet you relent and start rubbing again. Starting slow and doubling up your efforts. Making the coil inside your stomach tightens again.
“Stop.”
You bend down to stop yourself from cumming as you stop your movements. Tears start to prick your eyes. Another minute. Another command. “Again.” Your fingers move around your clit again. “And keep your eyes on me.” He adds. You comply with him, yet again. Rub your clit slowly as you watch the way Jimin rubs his cock over his pants.
Oh, this is so good.
“Stop.”
You do.
“Start again, Lil.”
You do.
“How are you feeling princess, good? Is your clit throbbing? Yeah? You wanna cum?” Taunting and teasing.
“Wanna cum Jimin, please.” And you're begging. Tears are finally starting to roll down your cheeks.
“No. Stop.”
“Oh, please.”
“Fucking stop you little whore.”
So, you do it again. And then it goes on and on. Over and over. An endless circle of torture. Until your legs really give up and your knees almost hit the floor. That’s only when Jimin finally stops it. Finally gets to his feet and walks to you leisurely. While you struggle to be on your feet and keep your eyes away from his bulge. Trying so hard not to salivate at the sight.
Jimin cups your heated cheeks. Brings his mouth closer to your ear. “You good, baby?” Whispers making tingles run across your whole body. You know he’s asking for real. Genuinely want to know if you’re okay.
“Yes.” You exhale. Clutching his dress shirt desperately. “Please.” Begs. You feel like dying from the throbbing pain between your legs. You just need something. You’re aching for a little touch from him. And so you’re positive that you’ll come undone the second he touches you. He doesn’t, however. At least doesn’t touch you where you want him to. Just turns you around you by your shoulders. Guides you toward the window. Pushes your body into it, making your hard and perky nipples grazing the window. You bring your hands to place on the not so cold glass on instinct. Balancing yourself. Your back is arching and searching for any kind of friction.
Jimin’s lips hover again in your ear. “What do you want, princess? Use your words.” Teases. You shudder. But you’ve played this game enough times before to know that Jimin won’t give you anything unless you ask him to. And after all those times you’re not so shy anymore. “You. Need you Jimin. Please, I need you.” You cry out. Desperately. Like the needy slut you are right now. Jimin only chuckles, though. Low. So low that you moan at the sound.
“Yeah? Now you want me? I thought you didn't, baby.”
“Oh, Jimin please.” This time you cry out in impatience. He’s being difficult. Childish. “Am I wrong? You have people to please you. Why would you need me? Thought you have Jungkook now.” Almost pulls away when you finally snap.
“I didn’t- fuck- it was a damn mistake and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it to happen.” You turn your head to look at him. He pulls away, anyway. You miss his warmth right away.
“Well, I don’t think you’re sorry.” Jimin takes another step away from you. You’re losing your mind.
“I am, I- oh god fuck Jimin. I’m sorry.” You barely get to finish that when his palm suddenly hits your core. A choked moan elicits from your parched throat. “Oh, god yes.”
“Yeah? Are you sorry?” His palm hits your cunt again. You cry out a ‘yes’. “Yeah?” Another time. Harder than before and you moan even louder. Pleasurable sting causing you to see stars. You will cum and embarrass yourself if he keeps doing that. But of course, he keeps doing that. “Then show me how sorry you are, slut.” Another slap. And you have no idea how to do as he says. Are about ask how when he gives you the answer soon. You swear that you didn’t even hear the sound of his belt unbuckling. Jimin enters you without any prior warning and catches you completely off guard. The cry you let out is inhuman. Due to pleasure. You’re slick enough that it doesn’t hurt. Just a tiny burn which subsides immediately. Jimin’s rock hard cock glides against your slick warm walls quite easily.
“Holy fuck, so wet. You’re so fucking wet.” Jimin groans. “And so tight. Feels so good, slut. Do you know how good your cunt feels?” Finally touches you properly. Snakes his hands around your body to cup your breasts. Starts pounding into you without any further ado. No waiting, no adjustments. Opts on a bruising primal pace. “Show me you’re fucking sorry Lil. Take my cock like a good slut, hm?” Your body presses against the glass with his every animalistic thrust. Your loud moans and sobs fill the entire apartment. “You can’t expect me to just be all cool after you let someone else see this damn body, princess.” Pinches your nipples so hard. “You’re mine.” Fucks you even harder. “Told you always that you're mine.” Gives your neck a fleeting kiss. Then another. Soon it turns into a harsh suckings on your sensitive skin. Covering you with purple blossoms all over.
Every thrust. Every kiss. Every nibble. Every bite. Every rub brings you closer to your release faster than a flash. Yet just as you’re about to fall over, Jimin stops. Of course, he does. You find yourself even incapable of protesting. So far gone inside your head. So drunk on Park Jimin.
“On the couch, c’mon.” He commands, yet again. Pulls his hard cock out from you. You follow, yet again. Force your shaky legs to take you to the couch. Lay down with your legs spread apart. Watch with a hazy sight as Jimin at last gets rid of his clothes. Showing you his sculpted body. The kind of body that only he has. You wait impatiently till he joins you on the couch. Pumping his cock hard. This time he doesn’t waste any time. Just bends you in half and puts your legs over his shoulders before entering you again roughly. Then is pounding into your spasming hole again. Over and over. His dick head hitting all the right spots.
“What should we do about this baby?” Jimin questions breathlessly in between his deep plunging. “About people not understating that you-fuck- you’re mine, hm?” Brings one hand to touch your neck. Drags his fingers over the purple marks he left there.
“Jimin… oh god, I-I… please..” All you can do is pathetically moan. Jimin ignores whatever you’re trying to say.
“You know, I’ve always covered you in hickies. And he always saw them, didn’t he? What is that? Fucker can’t pickup a sign? Can’t understand that you’re mine.” Jimin squeezes your cheeks. Presses a hard kiss into your pouting lip. Gives a hard thrust and stops moving. Making himself buried deep inside you. Grinds his hips making you wail. “What should we do baby? Tell me?” Straightens back and falls back into his hard pounding. So hard that the couch skids across the floor with a squeaking sound. You watch how hard his jaw is locked. How flushed his face is. How dark his eyes are. Your throat is turning sore at how loud you’re moaning. Jimin is killing you. In a good way. And you think this is the worst he can do. How wrong you are.
“Should I get you fucking pregnant? Get you full and round of me so everyone-”
Jimin doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Just because you drown his voice with your screaming. Back arching and cumming right there at his words. Embarrassing. But you can’t care. Not when his words make you feel consumed by a heat that you can’t satiate. You don’t want to get pregnant. Of course, not. You’re still so young and there’s a lifetime ahead. You haven’t even thought about children. But the way his words make you feel should be illegal. It’s not possible to get this aroused right? Yet, here you are. Screaming his name and trembling.
“Fucking hell, Lil. Oh god, woman you’re gonna fucking kill me.” Jimin slows down his hips a notch just to pick back up the speed and keep fucking you hard. Fucking you through your orgasm. Not even slowing down when it starts to hurt from the over sensitivity. “You want that? You want to fucking get pregnant? Want me to fuck a baby in to you?” Questions. You don’t answer. Completely because you can’t properly understand what he’s talking about. Then Jimin never appreciated your silence, did he? He takes his hand to your clit. Doesn’t stop his thrusts when suddenly pinches your clit hard. Hard enough for another unexpected orgasm to ripple through you. Making Jimin laugh and groan at the same time. “Shit! You little slut.” Mutters. Slaps your sensitive clit again. “Answer me baby? Do you like it?” Slaps your thigh this time while keep fucking you hard. “Either you gonna answer me or-”
“Yes, yes-” You don’t want to know what he’ll do. This is enough torture already. “I want it, Jimin. P-please…. W-want you to get me so full- ugh fuck- so full of you. I want it please.” You sob. Can feel Jimin twitch inside you.
“Yes?”
“Yes please. G-get me pregnant?”
“Hell yeah, so everyone would know you’re mine, right baby? Tell me who you belong to? Who’s fucking cunt is this?”
“Yours. I’m yours.”
Jimin groans. “Fuck, yes. Mine.” Leans forward again. Looks you dead in the eye. You watch in anticipation. Knowing he needs more. Something more. You have no idea what that is but you nod in agreement anyway. You trust him with all your might. Besides, you have a safe word you can use any time. “Open your mouth.” Jimin commands. His mouth is just mere millimeters apart from your lips. And like that you understand what he wants even before he says anything. You like it. Of course, you do. That’s the exact reason why you’re clenching around his hard cock like you’ve gone mad. You do as he says without any other questions. Too fucked up and too horny. Keep your mouth open and wait for his next step. Jimin takes another cautious look at your face. For any sign of discomfort. When he finds none, he does it. Spits into your mouth.
You cry pathetically. Tears rolling down. Your cunt feels like it's on fire. “Swallow.” Jimin barks. You comply like a good pet. Make Jimin moans like a beautiful symphony. “Fuck, again. Lil again baby, open your mouth.” You do. He does it again. You can tell he’s close. Too close. Is losing the precision in his movements. Yet demands you do it again. “Again princess, one more time.” And that’s all it takes for you to fall apart for a third time. Just as he spits on your mouth again.
And like a chain reaction, that’s all it takes for Jimin as well. He falls forward. Captures your lips in a searing kiss as he stills his hips. Cuming deep inside you. Making you cum again one more time. Nails digging into Jimin’s back and your legs locking him in place. Allowing him to shoot his cum into your womb.
You wait there until you both can’t breathe. Kissing each other like it’s the last time you’ll get to kiss. Until your high calms down. That’s only when Jimin finally withdraws from you. Eyes frantically going over your tired and spent features.
You close your eyes. Feeling your head spin. Feeling hard to breathe. Your ears still roar and your heart beats a mile a minute. Cunt still on fire and throbbing painfully. You bring your forearm to cover your face. Allowing yourself to fall into exhaustion. Basking in the euphoric sensation. Finding solace in the darkness enveloping you. Peaceful, blissful dark-
“Lil? Holy fuck, baby. Hey? Are you with me?”
You open your eyes at the sensation of Jimin’s hands cradling your cheeks. Oh, so soft and gentle. His voice sounds like it's coming from another dimension. You catch the sight of his worried expression.
“Huh?” You mumble weakly.
“Are you okay, love? Did I- did I hurt you?”
Your heart flutters violently. The rest of his question doesn’t reach you. Your ears stop listening after the word ‘love’.
Oh no… he didn’t.
You feel like crying. But that doesn’t mean anything. Of course,not. He’s just concerned and is a sweet person. That’s it. That doesn’t mean anything. You shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. So, you just shake your head to tell him that he didn’t hurt you.
“I- I’m fine. Jimin- I- I’m so sorry-” He doesn’t let you finish. Pulls your weak and spent body into his arms immediately. Starts pressing tender kisses into your hair as you hide your face in his neck. Inhaling his familiar smell.
“Hey, I know. I know, baby. I know you didn’t mean it and it’s okay. Sorry I was a jealous jerk. But it’s okay, alright?” Pulls away to look at your face. You gape at him.
Really?
“You won’t mind?” Ask timidly.
“Course I do mind. Hell, lady.. next time I’m gonna murder that bastard if he so much as lays a finger on you. You’re mine. I just- uh- I know it’s a mistake. I know you didn’t mean and I just wanted to claim back what’s mine.” Presses a soft kiss to your lips. You feel relief wash over you. Finally feels relaxed. All the weight on your chest evaporating. Oh, how Jimin has become your solace. Your safe place. You smile into his kiss.
“Thank You.”
“No, thank you for coming here. Thankyou for not just asking me to fuck off after everything. Thank you for letting me know.”
You pull away. Fall back onto the couch. This is the time. You need to get this done.
“Well, you promised me an explanation, Park.” Jimin chuckles. Starts fumbling around. Lays down next to you. Manhandling you on top of him. Holds you tight.
“You got it. Sorry I couldn’t make it earlier. Had to make sure Liya’s father doesn’t lose his shit after seeing that video.”
………………………..
You have no idea how long it has been since you’ve been just cuddling on a couch and listening to Jimin’s story. Naked. About how Mr. Kim has a partial ownership of the company as the biggest shareholder. How four of them- even with combining all their shares- don’t have enough to fight him. Now you understand why they call Liya’s father mighty Kim. And how Jimin can’t risk him pulling out from the company which will create a destabilising power. How he would lose his damn position and the company- the dream- he and his friends worked so hard for.
You don’t know how hard boys worked for the company.
All of a sudden, Liya’s words make so much sense to you.
And Jimin told you about the upcoming launch. The fact that Kim is the main sponsor. And everything falls back into one position. If he breaks up with Liya, she’d take revenge. Mr Kim would just say bye to RUN and sell or transfer his shares to an external party. If that happens Jimin is fucked up.
“And you can’t do anything about it?” You snuggle against his chest. It’s just not a question but also a statement.
“Not unless we find a way to get him to sell his shares to us before anything happens. Or we find another sponsor who can fund us. That’s not easy. Especially with the fact that Kim rules this world. No one would ever want to be on his bad side.” Jimin rakes his fingers through your hair softly.
“So, what’s your plan then? You said you need time.”
“Do one of those things. I’m on the hunt for a new sponsor. And I’m looking for a way to get him to sell his shares without offending him. Or any other loophole I can find to use against him. Everyone has their dirty shits. I should’ve already maintained an account for him. With all the blackmail materials. I was just stupid that I didn’t do that. Now I have to dig from the surface till I reach deep enough.”
You understand it. Makes you wonder why he hadn’t told you earlier.
“Why didn’t you want to tell me earlier?” You question in genuine confusion. Raise your head to find him turning red. He groans.
“I was embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed of what?”
“Of you finding out that I’m such a loser.”
“What?” You almost get away from him completely in disbelief when he pulls you back on to him. So, you just opt to keep your head up and stare at him.
“Oh c’mon, Lil, you look at me like I'm some kind of God. A man who has everything. Someone who accomplished every goal. I mean you have a nasty mouth and you’ll always talk me down but I see the way you look at me.” Jimin sighs heavily. You feel your heart swell. You didn’t know that mattered to him. “You know even though I kind of have everything, I just can’t shake off the fucking feeling that I don’t deserve it. That I.. uh.. Got it with the help of someone-”
“Help of someone?” You interrupt him. Jimin nods.
“Yeah. I-um- this makes it fucking worse, like when we started we really didn’t have the budget to start developing a game. Just four boys fresh out of college. Just dreams and ideas. We had the talent, knowledge and all but not the money. We could’ve made it either way. Starting slow and making it from scratch but I had Liya. The queen bee. Daughter of the Kim and she didn’t want to date a man struggling to build something up.” He laughs softly.
“Besides, why would we bother when she can help us? It was nothing on her part. At first I didn’t want to do that but it sounded too compelling- tempting. All I wanted was to start something. For my idea to be out in the world and eventually I accepted. I built my empire with Kim’s money.” Jimin holds you so tight against him. As if he’s afraid you’ll disappear if not. “I didn’t want you to see me as that person. You made me feel like that I’ve actually made it by myself and that I deserve it. I know it’s stupid but I liked the way you treated me. So,” He touches your cheek. “Do you think I’m a loser? I’m an asshole and we both know it but I didn’t want to use Liya. But that’s what’s apparently happened, so, do you wish you never had started anything with me?”
Your eyes widen in surprise. You would really hit him if he doesn’t have such a tight grip on you.
“Really, Park?” You raise a brow. “That- that’s, oh gosh no. Why would you even think that way? It really is such a stupid reason.” You sigh heavily. Softening at his expression. “You didn’t use anyone Jimin. She’s the one offered. And you were already dating her. Not the other way around. You saw the opportunity and you took it. And it was just money they offered. Rest was on you. I’d always see you as the same way Mr. CEO. You’re a man who accomplished a lot on your own and you deserve it all. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I admire you a lot.” You hide your face instantly. “Now if you ever bring it out again… I’ll just-”
Jimin’s laugh cut you off. “Okay. But are you serious like, you don’t think that-”
“No, Park. Stop it.” You raise your head back again to kiss him shut. Pull away. “Why the sudden engagement, tho?” Not that you want to ruin the mood but you have to ask.
“The video. We got rid of everything before it reaches the public but there are some higher profiles who've seen it. Not that anyone recognizes you but they’re questioning. And there were some people in the club that day, kids of those rich assholes. People are apparently talking and it’s not good on anyone’s reputation. Especially Kim's. I don’t know if you know this but Liya is not his blood-”
“I do. I just happened to know.”
“Okay. So, he’s doing his utmost best to keep everything under the carpet and to keep his image spotless. He doesn’t want any rumors around his daughter. The sole heir to the Kim’s group. If one thing comes to the surface, it’s only a matter of time until everything does. If anyone ever finds out that shit, that’s not going to go well with his businesses. So, he wants the rumors to stop fast. And they think an engagement would solve the problem before it gets bigger.”
You feel a clench in your heart. Yet just nod. Jimin’s the one who kisses you this time. “I’m not doing that. I’ll come up with something. I mean I don’t know what yet but I’ll not get engaged to Liya. This is not the eighteenth century and they can’t force things on me.”
“But what if they threatened to pull out?”
“They won’t. I’m really not going to use the fact that Liya is not his real daughter. That’s such a low blow. Liya and I- we have history and they’ve helped me somehow. But still I’m gonna use that to make the engagement delayed if needed. I know that’s such a shitty thing to do but I refuse to become a puppet.”
“Okay. This is so fucked up, but thank you for telling me. It feels good to be in the light.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t think I’m such a shitty person?”
“Well, you’re an asshole but not shitty. When I say you’re an asshole, I say it affectionately. But Jimin,” He hums in question. “What does Liya get from all this? Is she just worried about the reputation? Like can it cause that much harm? If you broke up with her?”
“It can. People can be nasty. Especially when it comes to famous people. They will take any opportunity to drag someone down.”
“So, it isn’t because she loves you.”
Jimin scoffs at that. “No. Hell, no. Maybe she loved me back then but not anymore. I don’t even know why she chose me. The college fuck boy. I was a mess and a disaster. I was the trouble but I pulled the queen. I don’t know why she dated me. I loved her, though.” You have to look away to hide the way it makes a tiny pang in your chest.
“What happened then?” Yet ask nonetheless.
“I don’t know. All I know is that we’re no longer in love and just trying to use each other. I want to stop that. She doesn’t.”
It makes sense. They are in a convenient relationship. Which is messy and complicated. And you understand Jimin completely. So, you just nod at his next question. Agree completely.
“So, just give me time, hm? I know it’s hard but uh.. Just a little time. That’s all I want and I promise the moment I figure this shit out, we’re gonna find a way to keep you in my life.”
You don’t question why he wants that. You know that you want to keep going because you like him. Maybe more than that. You’re so whipped. But what’s his reasons? And you don’t think about all the complications that would come up and the things you’d have to sacrifice, if you chose to keep living this way. Or if you decide to stay in this world. If it’s even possible. You’ll have to solve one problem at a time, after all.
You’ll not question for now.
………………………….
Jimin ends his call with Hoseok right at the moment you enter the study. After showering together he had left you to dry your hair to take care of the hundreds of missed calls he’d received for the past few hours. Hoseok’s was about an art exhibition. A fundraiser. Hoseok wants all of them to attend since it’s the perfect opportunity for networking. They might even be able to land a new deal for a new sponsor. Who knows? And the event is apparently happening in the gallery where Namjoon’s girlfriend works. Even though Jimin doesn’t want to see them right now, he’s no fool to turn down the opportunities.
“Hey.” You softly mumble as you walk toward him. Just in one of his hoodies and nothing else. You look content. And he loves to see you content.
“Hey!” Jimin mumbles back to you. Spreads his arms so you can fall right between them. You do. Like you’ve come home. “Everything okay?” Ask him in such an adorable voice that Jimin’s heart does skip a beat, literally.
“Yep. Hobi is making us attend a fundraiser.” Jimin answers your question. You withdraw from him, nodding in understanding. Don’t ask any more questions as you just drag your eyes across the study. Stop on one of his opened drawers. Jimin follows your vision. His own gaze dropping inside the drawer. Finding out exactly what catches your attention. And it’s too late when he notices that and jumps into action. You let out a shriek before you successfully grab the picture.
“Holy shit!” You exclaim. Amused. While Jimin feels mortified. It’s a picture of him and Taehyung. Back from the college days. First year. Just barely eighteen. He has no idea what the fuck they were doing, dressed up like two lunatics. It was taken during a party for sure. And they both look extremely stupid.
“Give that back.” Jimin states calmly. You don’t give a fuck after all. Just turn around facing your back to him.
“How old were you?” You question. Inspecting the picture. Jimin rounds you to look at your glinting eyes. “Doesn’t matter. Oh God, that’s so embarrassing. Give it back, Spring Roll.”
You ignore him. Just coo at the picture. “You look tiny.”
“No I do not. I had the same body back then. Girls were dying for my abs.”
“Did they? What about your eyeliner, tho?” You quirk brow in challenge. Know what you’re doing. Jimin groans. You giggle prettily. “And it’s blue.” Add as if he doesn’t know it. “Why the hell are you wearing a blue eye liner in here, Park.”
“C'mere you little gremlin.” Jimin stretches his arm to catch you which you dodge skilfully. Take a few steps back. Jimin doesn’t give up, however. He lunges forward again. You yelp as you try to run away from him. This time you fail. Jimin catches you successfully but you hide the picture behind you. Keep it hidden even when he picks you up and puts you on the table. “Oh c’mon, give it back you idiot. Why would you even need that?” So, he whines. You press your lips into the tip of his nose. There goes his heart skipping beats again. He feels warm. Inside, out.
“Because you’re so adorable in that. Can I keep it?”
“Why?”
“Just so I can keep it.” You pout. Puppy eyes. Jimin is becoming weak. Oh, he is weak. “Will you promise me not to show it to anyone?” He’d give up eventually anyway. No use of fighting and dragging this up. You nod excitedly. Look so damn beautiful. “Okay, deal. But I need something in return too.” Jimin adds causing your face to fall. He’s a businessman after all. He’s good at deals.
“What?”
“Let’s keep that spot empty. I’ll come up with something creative in the future.” You grumble but agree anyway. Jimin just smiles and captures your lips in his. He just wants to be close. Every way possible. Can’t help but touch you. You taste good. You feel good. Drives him mad. You pull away first. A soft smile on your lips.
“Okay, what are you getting at? Haven’t you had enough?”
“What are you talking about?” Jimin feigns ignorance causing you to palm his hardened length through his sweats. A low groan erupts from his throat.
“I’m talking about this.” You squeeze him. Well, he can’t help it. Can’t have enough. His hips buck into your touches involuntarily.
“Well, you wanted to get pregnant.” Jimin teases you, reveling in the way you audibly whimper. Just for a second, though. You compose yourself rather fast for his liking.
“Stop getting obsessed, Park.” You gasp. Tease. Wait till he denies. But then Jimin doesn’t want to deny it. So, he just spreads your legs rough. Finding your bare core already glistening with arousal. You’re the one to talk. He doesn’t point it out, though. Just kisses you again. Pulls away to whisper against your lips.
“Too late, Spring Roll. I’m already obsessed.”
Oh, how he loves the way you gasp. The way your breath hitch. And he means his words. Because that’s what he is. Obsessed. With you. Utterly deeply madly obsessed with you.
“Are you too sore, baby? Can you take me again?” He asks cautiously. You just nod, like he knew you would.
“Just go slow.” You spread your legs even wider.
“Of course, love.”
Such a shame that he’s focusing on your cunt.
Such a shame how he doesn’t notice the way you look at him.
…………………………..
Finally, after weeks of torment, life feels good again. With Jimin. With Jungkook. With your friends in both worlds. You feel relaxed after knowing what makes Jimin, Jimin. You feel valued and important after knowing Jimin trusted you enough to let you in. Sure, there's still no answers to his problems. He’s still a taken man and you're still being the bitch of your own story. Fucking a man in a relationship, despite everything that happened to you. But then, you think there’s hope now. Not that Jimin’s story justifies all your actions. Yet you can hope for a moment that you’d get to do it the right way.
Even when you don’t get to see Jimin often now, life still feels good. You won’t go back to work at RUN again. No. The biggest favor you can do everyone is keeping your distance. Still, you find solace in his little texts. That’s enough. You’ll find a solution to everything soon. You trust Jimin.
Then there’s Jungkook. Being the Jungkook you always knew. You’re oh so relieved when he agreed to let what happened slip. Agreed that it happened because both of you were emotional and drunk. He still won't side with Jimin. Never. But he’d be on your side. Forever. His own words. Then you had convinced Key to go on that date with Chan. Everything is going pretty fine. You’re in such a good mood that you’ve been waltzing instead of walking for the past few days.
Everything is good. You don’t think anything would be able to ruin your good mood at all. Even when you find yourself at the fundraiser Jimin told you about a few days ago. Even when you know Jimin would probably attend this with Liya. You think you’ll be able to handle it. Knowing his story, you know it’s just a pretense. Of course, you can handle it.
See, life is thriving. You’re back into going to these kinds of special events which a college girl has no business being in. It just happened because of Yoona apparently. It's the gallery she works at. And they are apparently allowed to bring in guests. More guests mean more funds. Yet you know, you’re not the kind of guests they want here. But who’d care in the end. You and Jungkook are here on the extended invitation by Yoona. J is here as the date of Jin. You’re all here to have a good time. Even though you can’t find Jungkook anywhere in your sight at this moment.
You’re standing at a corner table with Taehyung. All glammed up. Feeling nervous since you’re not used to visiting such events.
“You know who that is?” Taehyung asks you, pointing at an old man casually talking with Hoseok. You shake your head. “That’s the minister of culture.” He states. You gasp.
“Yah! Really? Please remind me what the fuck I’m doing here again?”
“Same thing as me honey. Just wasting your time.”
You chuckle at his comment. You spend a lot more time with Taehyung these days. He comes over to Jungkook’s quite often. Saying you’re surprised would be an understatement. Jungkook’s sudden change of behaviour toward Taehyung makes you more than surprised.
“I thought this is an opportunity for you. Jimin mentioned something about a new sponsor or something.” You look around the hall. To search if the said guy is here. Apparently not yet. Taehyung just clicks his tongue. Retrieves two new champagne flutes from a passerby server. Hands you over one.
“I’m bad at that. I always get distracted by women.” He sips from his drink before continuing. You scrunch up your nose at that. “That’s why we have Jin and Hobi. Look at them, doing a god damn great job.” Gestures at the said people. You catch J walking toward you at the same time. Pouting.
“Boring. This shit is boring as hell man.” She whines just as she reaches your table. Steal your champagne flute. You decide not to say anything.
“Tell us about it. I just want to go home and watch a movie.” Taehyung agrees with his whole heart. You ignore him when you turn to J.
“Where’s Kookie?”
She shrugs. “No idea. I think he’s annoying Yoongi. He really wants to be Yoongi’s editor, you know?” You chuckle at the mental image of Jungkook pestering an annoyed Yoongi.
“Maybe I should give up this job and start a vlog. What do you, pretty women, think?” Taehyung butts in.
“We think you’d make the perfect cam boy.” J states with a straight face. Nods in confirmation. Now you don’t know what she expects Taehyung’s reaction would be. But you expect it fully when he beams. Excited. A little too much.
“Exactly. I knew I would be. Jimin didn’t let me pursue my dream job.”
“Yah! Seriously?” J quips exasperatedly.
“Yeah…” Taehyung sighs heavily. “It’s so fucking unfair isn’t it? Everyone should have the right to pursue their dreams.” Sips from his drink again. J gives Taehyung a look that is torn between annoyance and amusement. You don’t think that’s what she asked by ‘seriously’. You snort very unpleasantly at her expression when Taehyung continues. “But if I have been a cam boy, you two ladies would be my biggest fans,” He lets out a dreamy sigh. You and J both roll your eyes. “And of course you’ll pay me tons of money. And I’ll do my best to satisfy you both.”
“We won’t pay you shit Taehyung. That’s a lot of over-fucking-condifident there. Why would you be so sure about that? Like do you have a monster cock or something?” J scoffs. Wrong move. Taehyung is the last person you should talk about cocks with. Too late, however. He smirks cockily. Wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
“I don’t know, do I? Maybe… Wanna see?”
You fake gag when J clicks her tongue. “No thanks, no monster cock would be able to compete with Jin’s.” J looks away from Taehyung to Jin. You think she’s fascinating to be able to just not give a fuck about what anyone thinks. She’s so bold to admit that she likes Jin. Even though Jin doesn’t do the same. She’s obviously so smitten for the man and does nothing to hide it.
Taehyung takes great offense in that, it seems. “Yah! That’s so not true.”
“It is true.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Hell yes. How much?”
You look back and forth between your two friends. A headache is starting to form. You think Taehyung learnt to put bets on everything from Jungkook. He says something about 20 000 Won. And J agrees. You feel mortified.
“Gosh guys, will you stop?” You bow in apology to an old man who just walks past you.
“No. She insulted my precious item and I need justice.”
“Eww don’t call it a precious item.” J counters.
“Why not? It is precious. Now I’m about to show you and prove you wrong.”
“Fucking stop, you guys.” You slap Taehyung’s hand which he just puts on his belt buckle. “Nobody wants to see your fucking dick, Tae.” You hiss.
“No. No, let him Li. This is my chance to earn an easy 20 000.”
“Oh my god J, don’t fucking encourage him. He’ll do it for real.” You groan in annoyance and mild horror. Knowing Taehyung, you’re eighty percent positive that he’d do that. Taehyung chuckles. Says something about how good you know him when you suddenly catch a flash of blond in the corner of your eye. You stop trying to keep Taehyung’s hands away from his pants to turn around and find the man you wanted to see.
Park Jimin.
In his iconic black suit. That damn earring back on one of his ears and smiling widely. Bowing to someone older. You feel your lips spread into a huge grin at his sight. He makes small talk with a few people before his eyes scan the room. Land on your corner table. A similar kind of a grin spreading across his own face. And oh, he’s alone. There’s no woman tangled up in his side. You scan the room quickly to find the said woman. Feel giddy when you’re unable to spot her anywhere. Jimin bows to the man he’s talking to and starts stepping toward your table. Almost waves to you when a sudden voice behind you interrupts.
You think you saw Jimin’s smile suddenly drop and his face darken just before you turn around to see who’s the owner of the voice.
“There you are, Honey. I was looking for you everywhere. That author is here- Owen someone and I want you to meet him. C’mon.”
You’re met with a middle aged woman. Her words don’t exactly register with you but you take her appearance in one go. And you freeze.
“Mom?” You whisper in confusion.
Mother.
This is your mother. The woman who gave birth to you. But looks far younger. All glammed up and in a black dress. Eyes bright. Not a single grey hair on the sight. Skin glowing.
This is your mother.
But something’s odd.
“Yes. Let’s go Liya, before your father can find him.” She mumbles.
And it hits you like a flash of lightning. You’re not in your world. Your mother can’t be here. This is not your mother.
Liya.
A painful pang erupts in your chest. Shoots across your body. Not unbearable but it’s definitely there.
This is Liya’s mother and she just mistook you for her child. You open your mouth stupidly but before you can say anything Taehyung steps in.
“Hey, this is ridiculous. I mean it's one thing when other people can’t tell them apart but their own mother? That’s such a rude thing to do to your own daughter Mrs. Kim.”
You turn your head slowly toward Taehyung. Feeling like your body is growing weaker by every passing second. Taehyung is scowling at Liya’s mother. Displeasure evident in his features.
“What?” The older woman scowls deeper than Taehyung. “What are you talking about Taehyung? I have no time for your stupid jokes. C’mon LIya. This is your opportunity. She grabs from your wrist. And the pain intensifies when she calls you Liya, yet again. You feel nauseous. So close to bend down from pain.
“Really? How come a mother can’t recognize her own children apart?” Taehyung doesn’t let her off the hook that easily.
Oh, gosh, this is turning into a nightmare for you. The pain is becoming unbearable. Your sight is turning blurr. You’re trying so bad not to clutch your chest. Liya’s mother gives Taehyung an odd look. This is not good.
“What on the earth are you talking about? What children?” She questions. Visibly irritated.
“Your children. How can you not identify your own daughters apart?”
Oh, you want to throw up. How are you ever going to explain this to Taehyung and J.
“What daughters Taehyung? Are you drunk this early into the event?” Liya’s mother clicks her tongue in disapproval. “That’s such a lowly-” The rest of her words drowns by a loud ring in your ears. Pain in your chest doubles up unbearably. You almost give up and bend down in pain when you feel a pair of hands wrap around you. Then you hear the familiar soothing voice. Like it’s from a dream.
“Hi Mrs. Kim.”
“Oh Jimin-ah, good thing you’re here. Your friend is drunk.”
“I-I’m not drunk.” Taehyung protests but no one pays him any mind.
“Yeah? Ah- I’ll take care of him later. I’ll just need my girlfriend for a minute.” You feel Jimin slowly pulling you into him. Tears are starting to prick your eyes. It hurts. Oh, it hurts.
“No. No. There’s this author she needs to meet. Right Liya?” She turns her attention to you again. And freeze. Probably taking in your appearance.
“Why do you keep calling her, Liya?” That’s a female voice. You guess it’s J. Liya’s mother ignores her completely.
“Oh my god, are you alright, honey? You’re pale.” Instead she cups your face immediately. And everyone breaks into a sudden chaos.
“Of fuck! Are you okay, Li?”
“What’s happening?”
“It’s just like that day at Jungkook’s?”
“We need to call an ambulance.”
“Oh my god, oh my god. Liya, talk to me honey. What’s happening? Where does it hurt?”
You don’t know who’s saying what. Every time the name ‘Liya’ slips through her mothers lips you feel like you’re a step closer to your death. You give up trying to hide your pain. Should’ve fallen down onto the floor if it wasn’t for the tight grip Jimin is having around you.
“No. Guys she’s fine. Just let me take her somewhere private.” Jimin tries in vain to take you away from the three concerned people. But then you hear a new unfamiliar voice too.
“Oh, hi Liya!”
It’s turning dark.
“This is my fiance. This is Kim Liya honey… wait are you okay?”
That’s all you hear. Everything goes black. You fall into Jimin’s hands. Everything goes into a pitch black stillness. Yet then you swear you saw a mop of silver hair. And a pair of lifeless eyes. So, you know you heard someone mumbling against your ear.
“You should've heed my warning, little thing. You just put yourself in this misery and you know what’s going to happen…”
It’s just darkness. Painful darkness.
“You’re about to turn into ashes and….”
Jimin, you need Jimin.
“This is it…”
All you need is Jimin.
“The beginning of the END.”
..............................................................................................................................
a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!
..............................................................................................................................
Taglist - @chimmy-licious @graydolan12 @smoljimjim @likemeforme @sugas-baby-girl @canarystwin @jkayy @floboo6 @sunshinenmidnight @fiddlebiddls @unlikelycheesecakeenthusiast @mar-lo-pap @angelicsmilesworld @jimincrystal @datspjm @shakes0peare @butterymin @angellekookie @futuristicenemychaos @minijagiya @anumita-2007 @joulekanitz @llallaaa @fancypeacepersona @annyeongbitch7
#bts#park jimin#iau#bts smut#smut bts#jimin smut#park jimin smut#bts angst#bts fanfction#bts fantasy au#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts fluff#jungkook smut#jimin angst#jimin fluff#jimin fic#jimin fanfiction#jimin fanfic#bts series#jungkook angst
86 notes
·
View notes
Note
what are some things you think give dom riize butterflies in bed 😋
includes: mentions of corruption but not actually (shotaro) dacryphilia, mentions of sex with the others around & squirting (eunseok), size training kind of (sungchan), pussy eating (seunghan), choking (sohee)
shotaro
he loves whenever you get this random burst of confidence, pushing him on his back and straddling him before looking at him like ‘what now’. is very into the fact that you want guidance from him (also corruption kink), sure you were feeling like a big girl just know, thinking you can just do your thing but now you’re asking him to take over again. definitely tells you no and that you started this and need to go though with it. (manly because he enjoys seeing you struggle to ride his dick)
eunseok
when you cry. there’s just something about you showing such raw emotions that seem like they’re so misplaced. it also gives him such an ego boost, because of course he knows you are not faking your moans - otherwise you wouldn’t let them slip out around his members when you’re riding him during movie nights. and he’s pretty sure you’re not faking your orgasms either because he hasn’t found an explanation for how you could fake your juices spraying against his abdomen and bedsheets but adding the vision of you crying just from his dick is doing wonders for him.
sungchan
the very moment when he first pushes into you and he watches your eyes flutter as both of you let out a synchronized moan. sungchan knows you always struggle a bit with taking his length, even if he prepares you throughly most of the times (heavy on the most). gentle finger running through your wetness before he pushes the first one in, pressing little kisses against your clit as he adds a second one. he loves listening to your sweet gasps and pants as he moves them in scissoring motion inside of you, eyes fixed on the way your pussy pulses around his digits. he knows he’s big but he loves to see the physical reminder on your face everztime his tip enters your tightness.
wonbin
as i said before, praising and that in all possible ways. i don’t think wonbin is very insecure, he knows he’s fine and he’s secure enough in your relationship to trust you would tell him directly if he’s not pleasing you. but something about you stuttering out praise without him having to ask for anything or even doing much always gives him this warm fuzzy feeling in his belly. whether it be you actually telling him how good he is doing and that he makes you feel so good, or combined with your touches. your shaky hands running down his arms “you’re so pretty binnie” he feels your pussy tighten around his length and knows the desperation is speaking out of you “your dick is so good”
seunghan
when your brush his hair out of his face as he’s eating you out. we all agree he’s a certified muncher right? that man can spend hours between your legs and not get bored. im fact he tried, coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of you, tongue abusing your swollen clit as his fingers massage your insides. he smiles into your pussy as he notices the way your legs start to shake around his head before threatening to close, thighs pressing against his ears tightly. your hand however is the exact opposite brushing his hair out of his face ever so gently. he loves the fact that even being lost in your pleasure you still take your time to make sure you can properly see your lovers face.
sohee
he’s into choking i just know it. nothing too extreme till the point he can’t breath anymore but a warm hand against his throat just weirdly reassures him. like this is really happening, he’s really dating the most beautiful person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he really has her at his mercy. that being said he doesn’t mind a gentle squeeze every now and then. like when he hits that special spot inside of you or uses a particularly harsh thrust he just knows he’ll be rewarded with your fingers tightening around his neck. he lets out the sweetest high pitched moans, something about the power dynamics just get him. you trashing around and whimpering underneath him as he thrusts into you harshly and even if he has the dominance ver you he’s still in such a vulnerable position with your hand wrapped around his sensitive neck
anton
jerking him off whenever you put the condom on him. he’s a grown man he’s perfectly capable of putting a condom on by himself but he absolutely loves it when you do it. opening the package with his teeth, mindlessly spitting the trash to the side before he places it over his tip, eyes meeting yours when your hands cover his hands. “let me do it” you look up at him “please” and who is he to deny his baby? + he really enjoys the tightness of your hand as you roll the latex down his length, throwing his head back when you squeeze the base. the first time you done this he nearly came in your hand as he watched you jerk him off lazily before he gets the real deal.
#anon <3#riize imagines#riize hard thoughts#riize smut#riize x reader#riize hard hours#osaki shotaro smut#osaki shotaro imagines#song eunseok smut#song eunseok imagines#jung sungchan imagines#jung sungchan smut#park wonbin imagines#park wonbin smut#hong seunghan imagines#hong seunghan smut#lee sohee smut#lee sohee imagines#lee anton smut#lee anton imagines#anton lee imagines#anton lee smut
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Batfamily in who I think is the most flexible to least flexible (w/ my reasons)
Richard (Dick) Grayson- I feel like this one just makes sense, no extra information needed. He’s the last Flying Grayson, he’s cannonly super fucking flexible, not much information needed.
Cassandra Cain- Once again feel like it’s a given. She’s a baller dancer, and she moves so agile on her feet it’s practically obvious she’s flexible and easy to move
Damian Wayne- Oddly enough I think this boy is like a wet noodle when he wants to be, he is flexible. But you’d never know unless you see his ass play limbo or some shit.
Timothy Drake- He gives flexible. He probably tried to practice Dick’s moves in his room alone when he was a kid and stalked Batman and Robin. He would definitely be more flexible than Damian if Damian didn’t have his young age. Tim could easily surpass Damian in terms of flexibility if he wanted, but he just chooses not to stretch everyday (bad idea)
Stephanie Brown- She’s like Tim- does NOT stretch enough. But she could rival Tim in terms of flexibility if she actually wanted to, she can probably do flips and splits better than Tim, but when it comes to back flexibility he’d win by a landslide
Duke Thomas- He’s got a bigger build, like a quarterback who’s only a freshman kind of build. He’s good at flips, dodging, and jumping, but I don’t think he does any kind of stretches that would improve his flexibility, just the kind of ones that would make sure it’s still working.
Jason Todd- Bro is built like a double fridge with a top AND bottom freezer. He’s massive. He’s got muscles that can rival his siblings HEADS. Hes tall, he’s beefy, and he’s a marksman. He’s flexible enough to do flips and cartwheels, but he cannot do anything that involves twisting his body up.
Bruce Wayne- He used to be just like Tim flexibility wise, but then he stated to adopt kids.
Barbara Gordon- This is in no way a jab at her, I fucking love her. Before the wheelchair she’d be placed between Damian and Tim. But now she’s got her shoulder and upper back- that’s it. Which is as flexible as she can get them, but it’s also half of her body. I love her so much though, she’s badass and without her everyone would crumble. So it doesn’t matter if she’s flexible or not.
Alfred Pennyworth- He’s old.
If we want to add Kate, i firmly believe she’d be placed Steph and Duke. She’s flexible, but also just enough to do all of the stuff she needs.
(I know there’s so many other members I could add but ppl only seem to care for these guys- but I might make a more thorough and longer one, with more family members, like Harper, Selina, Helena [depending on what universe], Claire, Luke, David, Cullen, ect.)
#alfred pennyworth#barbara gordon#batfamily#bruce wayne#cassandra cain#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#richard grayson#stephanie brown#batfamily headcanons#batfam#batman
57 notes
·
View notes