#I didnt mean to get weirded out man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jaywasablindpirate · 3 months ago

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I got teaumatized by fic for the first time.

okay okay okay so its currently like 5am rn, I havent slept, and I just found something that broke me out of my internet trance and I have to speak it into the void somewhere

I used to read youtuberRPF, right? We all used to be 13, right? Right. So im laying in bed, and I my mind wanders to an old fic that i enjoyed and that lead me to think "Does anyone write for jacksepticeye anymore?" So, im curious, and i search 'Sean Mcloughlin' on Ao3. And I found not only were there recent posts, BUT SEAN MCLOUGHLIN/TOMMYINNIT

Tommy. INNIT. TOMMY INNIT. PEOPLE? HUH?

im baffled. I click on the tag, and there are THIRTY SIX WORKS UNDER THAT VERY TAG. A N D

There was A SMUT WORK. WHAT THE RUCK EHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

One of the BIG reasons why Im so shocked by this is the fact that I, myself, am the same age as tommyinnit.

I couldnt help

But put myself

In the situation

WHERE I WERE TO BE SHIPPED WITH A THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN.

I dont read any of them, I do, however, want to leave a comment expressing that uh, this feels weird. It looks weird.

I do my research

I find out, that, the author of 90% Of the THIRTY SIX WORKS is someone with DID. And they got like the fiction alters that are centered around, you guessed it, Sean McLoughLin and TommyInnit.

So now, I dont leave the comments because now I feel bad about Hard Core Judging.

But hey, this is the internet and they lut their works on the internet so i can find shit weird and i found shit to be VERY WEIRD and its the first time anything fanfiction has made me UNCOMFORTABLE.

#Ifk what to do man #Im so #This genuienly weirded me out #Im weirded out #I just wanted to see if that cool reincarnation fic w deep lore was still up #I didnt mean to get weirded out man #I grew up watching jack man #That made me feel Too Weird #Its weird right #Its weird

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im-smart-i-swear · 6 months ago

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can you remember being born? were you born at all

#my art #kuron vld #vld kuron #vld #this is sorta a companiom piece to the haggar one i posted recently #also. just now realising the perfect timing of posting that drawing on MOTHERS DAY of all possible days #i swear i didnt plan that. didnt even cross ny mind?? but its neat ig #this drawing is pretty simple but i really like how it turned out!!!#it was meant to evoke those infographics of human fetus development #its wrong. there should be middle stages between a fetus and a fully grown adult man. but theres nothing there.#like. he had no childhood or anything. he just woke up as a full ass guy. theres no middle point between a mindless clump of cells and him.#no infant. no child. no teenager. just kuron.#this is wrong and unnatural and it shouldnt have happened but it did #the part of him that looks the most alive is the bloody arm. his life depends on it. hes nothing without it.#sigh. i have so much to say abt this piece and i feel like its pretty barebones and simple tbh #but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr #i have THOUGHTS about this but a weird ramble is all youre gonna get folks. maybe one day il write a small coherent analysis of this thing #he will never escape haggar. he was not meant to. hes asleep and clueless and hell never wake up #he wont ever become more than what was planned for him. and he doesnt even know #blood #gore #i guess. not really gore. more like viscera and flesh?#kuronposting

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raspberrysmoon · 4 months ago

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moots are you aware of how much i like you? how much do you think i like you? like do you understand how genuinely wonderful i think you all are. i have a list of peoples names and pronouns so i have them on hand at all times. i genuinely. do any of you have any clue of how much i like you. i dont think you do

btw. 99.999999% of the times its Not no

#raspy rambles #i am. im havinng a crisis #im struggling rn #and genuienly #i know i dont reach out to anypne almost ever #mostly bcs im scared of being annoying or too talkative or weird about it #but i want to talk. i want so desperately ro be included in things. im just not talkative enough for people to think of me for that yk? l #ok. mini name drop but not really timw #🪻💫❄️🥀 especially. man i love you guys and i dont think you jnow it #and i dontt hink thats your fault in the slightest. ans that hurts me a little tbh #bcs youll never know how strongly i care for you. entirely because i cant get my shit together and man up and talk to you off anon #i fucking. i sent ❄️ an anon like. twnety minuyes ago being Mildly Weird About It #and i now feel like my world is crashing down around me #well. i didnt mean for the tags to look like that #razz rants #ig

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peppermintpegis · 1 year ago

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netflix one piece live action feels a little like fanfic in that it makes sure it hits all the important notes but doesnt do all the work to make them hit which works in fic where the reader is supposed to bring all the emotional story investment from the original but doesnt work in a multi million adaptation that is supposed to be able to stand on its own or even serve as an intro to the series. it even does this in service to have more koby and helmeppo gay moments in this essay i w

#one piece #opla #the fleshing out of koby and helmeppo is like honestly good its a beacon of light its truly really fun #and all the actors are great it is just what they are given .#they didnt let nami do any real betraying. they didnt even have her steal the merry!! she just stole the map that they added in!!!!#ddont get me started on the gutting of sanjis intro. i dont give a shit about if don krieg appears or not i need to see this guy fuckin #feed the hand thats about to kill him im going to start shaking like a dog.#im almost madder krieg appeared for just a little id rather have that time be used for. anything else really.#like have one of arlongs guys starved half to death when they get to arlong park!or idk anything! no gin appears look its gin! you know him #sanji doesnt even get to beat the shit out of a shitty guest. like i guess he does a little but it feels so blink and you miss it #+the first like two eps were good!! buggys great hes scary and weird and fun. i dont mind that he sticks around longer in theory #but the way he is comedic relief instead of basically every character having funny bits is like. ahghhhgggg. its a symptom of this really #mean and edgy feeling the whole thing has. like the removal of people missing usopps pirate calling :( and how cocoyashi didnt know #nami was working to help them. like p. please. can we have caring and bonds in this world?? trust and love???#anyway. sorry for having expectations of a netflix show im so close to putting this into a more proper form rather than tags. just to get i #all out of my system cause fuck man.#anyway solid 7/10 not as bad as it couldve been

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foccaccia · 7 months ago

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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'

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lucalicatteart · 2 years ago

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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….

"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"

#paventure posting #polls #choose your own adventure #(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm)#DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate #Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with #The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol #it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and #fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol #I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode #into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says #let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text #so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll #and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh..#bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol #I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated #or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day #Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options #*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj #ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts #in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be #confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else #but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol #explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol #ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME #but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week #I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!

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captainshyguy · 10 months ago

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i do wish that people hadnt been so rabidly critical and vicious towards steven universe back in the day, because now it feels like u cant discuss any parts of the show u didnt like without getting lumped in with those guys lol

#like idk man i liked the show a bunch #but i did also fall off becayse like. yeah i can see the tragjectory of the show now!#i can see that it was always gona be about this broken family of the diamonda and all that #but like. idk man. i tend to prefer when we focus on the little guys #and yeah we did do some of that. but that (planned) swerve near the end there really lost my interest #like i know rose being pink does make her infiitely more complex and its a fine choice to make but it still didnt do anythng for me #i still would have mich preferred to focus on the corrupted gems #on the people with no power in this struggle #its lik how i understand that the diamonds are basically a metaphor for someones like. bigoted aunt or something #but that still doent mean that i like that the people who razed dozens of planets to the ground were given time and priority #over the footsoldiers man!!!#like yes yes i get it its a metaphor its a escalation what else where they gonan do but like idk man i can still not like that turn!!#i can still wish they just....idk overthrew them or bubbled them or something. idk pull an anndrias from aphibia. community service lol #i can still wish that steven had healed the corrupted gems like it felt like it was foreshadowed #(since. yknw. rose can heal physical things- and stevne can a bit too but he can astral project into -peoples minds.)#and the corruption was an inury of the mind first and formost.#like. why would u set that up and not do that jgsnsgknkjdnjkgds #i can stil lthink the proportion inconsistenies were weird and too me out of the moment #eh idk its frustrating #like it feels like u say somehng like this and u have one guy going 'ikr the ahow SUCKED steven shoulda KLLED THEM'#and another going 'omg its a KIDS SHOW SHUT UP FORVER NO CRITICSM'#abd im sitting here in the middle like i tihnk theres some nuance here lads. i think we can habe a middle ground #luke rambles

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vitamin-zeeth · 5 months ago

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forgot how fun drawing on paper is the in between stages look CRAZY

#my renewed idkhow obsesson is fuelling art. i have to draw its the only way to get the gloomtown demons out #unfortunately i IMMEDIATELY chose a photo with no joke 7+ hands in it and decided to draw it in a space maybe 3x3“#half of the hands are in gloves too and all the clothing is black whyyyyy did i do thissssssss #im halfway ish done maybe ill post a silly teaser tomorrow if im feeling like cosplaying as a popular art blog B)#anyway yea the process pocs are so funny cause i dont do building up but by bit theres no trust the process weird unshaded stage #its just like rectangles to show vaaaaaguely where everything is and then FULL SHADED DETAIL IMMEDIATELY #so the progression of photos is just like ok theres a head and a hand. now theres another hand. he has half a body now + more hands.#they just appear fully formed i zone out and suddenly more limbs sprout #man im dr suess over here didnt even mean that #wet floor sign

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infizero · 7 months ago

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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning

#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going #to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood #im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated #but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy #and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next #mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same #it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new #pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story #i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point #i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first #experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about #thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before #i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself #i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol #my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i #got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was #literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it #pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons #mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers #over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos #were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times #but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one #where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt #soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my #most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious #anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i #actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well #and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes #serena.txt

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3416 · 7 months ago

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Your tags - omg yes. The insanity over the extensions is just cruel. It's just HAIR. It also doesn't matter one way or another if Tessa wore the jacket or not but have you seen a picture of her wearing it?

i think i was mistaken seeing her in one, i thought she was in the bg of a pic bc i was scrolling fast, but EVEN STILL.. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SUCH FREAKS. seeing someone launch into an essay abt why that makes her an independent thinker compared to the rest of the wags who are just leaning into patriarchal norms or some bullshitjs-- like ???? can you guys be normal about women for once in your lives? wearing jackets to support your athlete husband doing smth impressive is not...... like........ that serious.

the extension thing pissed me off to a new degree bc all the insinuations that everyone around her is evil and out to get her for not pointing it out to her in a random candid photo that they posted to their personal stories while they were on the move like hello?????????? clearly so many women online need help bc they project their own toxic and fucked up friendships onto random women attached to random hockey players like this, it's so batshit. i know wags are like known/expected to be the epitome of femininity and luxury and Know everything abt beauty and whatnot but they're also. just women with their own normal lives.... not everyone is so hyperfocused on their own aesthetic as it appears on the internet to us freaks, esp when they have their own social lives and families like holy FUCK. cannot believe how many people were thinking like that yesterday, i actually gagged.

#easks #women who THINK theyre calling out misogyny and not being a girls girl but are actually just being fucking misogynistic themselves #its not like this was some sabotaged photoshoot oh my god #even saying they look bad like......... who gives a fuck. is that your head? i didnt think so.#just dont get the obsession...#its one thing to obsess over a man doing his public job.. its another to go our of ur way to comment and focus on the women attached them #esp to be mean. UR WEIRD !#literally just reaffirms to me how beauty standards have fucked with women and womens own relationships to their friends... like some of u #just do not have friends who actually love u for u.. like is it all about image all the fucking time i rlly cant stand the world we live in

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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago

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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd #ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way #when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee #but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo #and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards #not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony #my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like #marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there #i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my #parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school #nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is #same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL #i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds #but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice #i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring #that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases #and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason #you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident #im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like #i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS #i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3 #i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔

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skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?