#I didnt know how to work you anyway lmao
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So apparently twitter imploded while I wasn’t looking and now people are coming back here.
Thats freakin’ hilarious, tumblr truly is the cockroach of the internet.
#neil talky#looks at my brand spankin new twitter acct#[deactivates]#Yeah bye bye buddy#I didnt know how to work you anyway lmao#ITS SO FUNNY I WENT ON A MINI VACATION#Im so relaxed rn#while the soc meds (except tumblr) all seemingly exploded at the same time#damn#I missed a lot
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grocery shopping
#flo’s sketchbook#i just thought of them cooking said groceries and now i want to make that ugh#they were supposed to be in the subway i had a whole ass background#too bad i didnt like it in the end#so i was like what if i just ignore the background and i don’t give the#don’t give them* one#but then it just seemed wrong so#here we are at a crosswalk waiting for the green light#it seems stupid now lmao#anyway enjoy please do tell me what you think about it if you want#and no i have no idea how light works yes i will learn at some point no i don’t know when#flo draws
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(on my hands and knees begging tumblr to not mutilate the quality of this drawing 😭) anyway, coming out as a secret marvel fan to announce that i really enjoyed the recently she-hulk run w/ Jen and her boytoy and am sad to see them go. Jack pls dont disappear into the ether i just got attached to you (ID in alt)
#marvel comics#sensational she hulk#sensational she hulk 2023#she hulk#jennifer walters#jack of hearts#jack hart#im typing thrse tags on an ipad rn (hell) so im going to be brief for once but yeah i reslly enjoyed this series#it was a sweet slice of life breath of fresh air and i found myself really invested in the relationship between jen and jack#Lowkey tempted to hop onto avengers just to keep up w jen#maybe- maybe not. We’ll see! Either way thse two are cute lol#this came together surprisingly quick for his detailed it is (by my standards lmao) and that makes me#nervous. Mainly#theres bits that r off but overall i like it#tried to fit lettering in but it didnt work lol#anyway#i know the authors on tumblr. Rainbow rowell if you somehow find this hire me /j#i dont think thats how it works since theyre a writer and not an editor lol#ANYWAY I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP#goodnight to all 8 ppl who will reblog this#mine
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get you a girl who can give you everything
this started a long long time ago when I made a joke about how sega should put ringo in more dresses, and then my friend reminded me that oh yeah!! I can do that instead!!! and then one thing led to another and we joked about punk ringo and I drew that too. using ringo like a dressup doll is so cathartic it's kinda crazy
some bonuses (original designs, timelapse) under the cut bc I like these designs!! I might do some more with them!! please disregard the band poster in the first second of the timelapse that's something else!!!
#everyone look at my girl isnt she so pretty#puyo puyo#ringo ando#my stuff#please look at the timelapse it nicely packages a week of suffering into a minute :)#you cant tell at all from the recording. but all those teeny tiny scallops on ringo's dress? i drew all of those by hand#because the scallop brush i downloaded didnt look right. it never does why do i have that#plus the lace cutouts on the bottom i also drew by hand because i wanted them to look kinda like bunches of apple seeds#but thats not really a thing you can search for- 'lace brush that looks like apple seeds' is wildly specific#there's probably an identical brush to what i painstakingly drew by hand but dont tell me about it i want to think i did that for a reason#punk ringo on top was a lot less work on the lineart bit except for that godforsaken guitar#i had to make sure it looked right and it took forever#but what punk ringo gave me the most trouble with was posing#i knew i wanted an arm out to mirror lolita ringo but thw initial draft was meant to be her holding the guitar the opposite way she is now#(as in her hand was gonna be backwards)#and do you know how hard it is to balance a guitar like that. i had to grab my guitar and do a photoshoot to see what was most natural#while still having leg up arm out#this was fun to do even if i had about three crises in the middle of it#i tried doing my old rendering style again after a while and it was fun too#lolita ringo gave me a bit of trouble in the fact that my brain couldnt handle the dress being shaded but the apples being flat#but we got it lmao. i dont know if ill ever do this again it took too long#but maybe half of the time was because suddenly halfway through everybody needed my help for something or other that required me to leave#anyway wow thats enough rambling. i should go to bed now
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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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day 26
someday if i can figure out how the hell people get these things made i would like to do some little destiny & malice acrylic charms. i think those are so fun. and while i mostly want them for Myself i figure that if i DID figure out the process, i should maybe open up the option to anyone else that might want them, soooo...
informal poll: if i figure out how all that works, would any of y'all be into that, and approximately how many of you?
#day 26#year 5#my ocs#destiny chainsaw#malice winterfang#i know i've said i don't really like the idea of commissions and this isnt like a PROMISE or anything#i still have a lot of research to do before i commit to a shop of any kind#BUT. i think like a redbubble or something in that vein might be a manageable project#i mention stickers specifically because that seems like a very manageable thing to produce and ship even if i didnt go through like#a service to do so#particularly because i dont think id get a TON of orders for my niche OCs lol#but if i got some practice with something small like this it MIIIIGHT help me build up to making things for a larger market like...#say... well you know what i'm about over here lmao#we've basically all but gotten the official blessings of the powers that be to make homestuck merch without fear of reprisal at this point#ANYWAY that would be a ways off and be a much MUCH bigger project both artistically and in terms of like#me learning how Online Commerce works from the seller end.#BUT I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING IT. and it seems to me that it would at least be relatively simple to sell like. prints of old art maybe#i dunno! like i said i'll see how the poll shakes out while i do a bit more research
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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I sometimes don't know what to say when people are like, "ugh it sucks being a woman - I hate shaving my legs!!" because it's easy to be like, "then don't", and for some people that works, but I also understand that it's a deeper problem than that, and whilst personally, I revel in the queerness of my hairy body, not everyone wants that, but also that body hair shouldn't be seen as un-feminine anyway and body hair shouldn't be some kind of statement and....idk.
#shaving legs can be replaced with like. styling my hair. or wearing foundation. or whatever#this isnt specifically about that#mostly this is work colleagues because all my friends have nuanced genders lmao#we were talking yesterday about shaving and waxing and my manager was so shocked when i said i didnt shave my legs#and asked to see 😂😂#what made me sad was that she said her daughter will have problems because her dad has dark hair so her#body hair is going to be dark#her daughter is like 7 or something#it's just. it goes so deep!!!#my manager was so close to being like. well its fine because you're a queer lmao#when i was like. i just. dont shave lol. just dont do it#she was like. hmm. well. that's fine for you because. actually. why /don't/ you shave....#😂😂 i was like. oh. it was a covid decision! (kind of true)#anyway. if anyone has any legit advice for this i will hear it#i find it hard to sympathise and connect with this anymore idk#well. no. like. i do understand. i just dont know how to relate anymore i guess#woes of emily
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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i kinda forgot how mochizuki does expressions so well that they speak more than texts in an image
esp for someone like oz who has identity crisis going on for him that he doesn't really care who he is as a person so long as it makes others happy (the way later he could care less if people see him as jack the hero rather than just oz)
but the shock in oz's expression as though he had been read so clearly by sharon's words.
also idk it never crossed my mind while i was rereading, but i love that this is just in chapter 2 -- that things would go bad if oz should ever lose sight of himself
bc that's the gist of oz's whole character arc, inching away from just being whatever people want him to be, shying away from his emotions, and accepting himself and what it means to be himself - emotions and past - alike.
#'avil why are you reading pandora hearts again' girl's depressed. turns to comfort media.#tbh im kinda surprised though that i can still pick up new stuff with oz bc oz is my big comfort character#however i also feel like i know /enough/ that i didnt think id pick up more#the treasure lies in the little details lol#also yeah im just liveblogging/trying to infodump to cheer myself up lmao#feel free to block the liveblog tag idk how long ill be reading ph today before i switch to things i should probably be working on#anyways#the thing about oz is that hes always rejected himself#you see it in the way he talks to break about himself#or like. he hates himself so much that he rejects alice and gilbert later down the line when he finds out the truth about himself#to lose sight of himself like that means the end#i guess for me his story has always been about growth from that and it feels nice to fall back into that and watch him grow#anyways if i turn into an oz blog. you know lmao#avil reads ph#i always wanted to reread ph again but the starting chapters are kinda too slow for me alksjdfalkh#just throw me straight into the isla yura arc and beyond#you know another thing though. that rejection of oz himself. parallel that with leo's rejection of self later that he hides away and allows#oswald to take over blahblah#*i dont think this makes sense im just blabbing now*
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I LOVE SUIKODEN SOOOO FUCKING MUCH
#im in gregminster at the end of the game rn and i love love loooovee being able to hear the upbeat town music just barely#beneath the melancholic wind sounds#suikoden ost you are everything to me no ost will ever top you#also i got all 108 stars babey B)#unfortunately got leon after doing the final army battle so i didnt get gremio revived which is APPARENTLY A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN???????#but i mean pahn died when he dueled my dad or whatever anyways so idk if id have been able to have gremio revived even if i had gotten leon#also the idea of him being revived kind of undersells the story tbh#maybe it works with how its executed idk i didnt get to see it happen lmao#also. i know i am RIGHTTT on top of the finale like i am so close to beating this game again but#i had to stop because of all the freaking guards jumping me every 2 seconds good lord#fight four guards take a step fight four more guards take another step fight five guards etcetc#ALSO#I ENDED UP GOING THRU THE NECLORD CASTLE LIKE. FOUR OR FIVE TIMES FOR REASONS#AND WHYYYYY COULDNT I USE AN ESCAPE TALISMAN THERE????#i beat the neclord months ago t-t#i dont mind the random encounters and stuff as a concept but when ur at the end game just tryna finish up some odds and ends.#they are so. frustrating#i think the frequency of them is the problem#esp since suikoden isnt a grindy game like it is so easy to level up characters super fast#which i love love loveeeee i love that ur actaully kind of able to play around with using a variety of ur. 100+ characters#but then its like. why so many random fights theyre just wasting my time#hoping suikoden 2 is a lil better in that regard but we shall see#reeeaally really hyped for suikoden 2!!#spoilers for a 30 yo old game lmao
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Sometimes you spend Saturday (one of your two free days a week) sitting in the stairwell because your insurance will only fill your specialty meds thru the mail and your doorbell is broken so if you want to get your medication you have to watch for the FedEx truck
By you I mean me
(5 hours and meds still not here)
I am tired of having this body and I deserve a new one after the massive hell this one has put me through
#im sleepy and irritable#didnt want to spend all day in thr stairwell watching for the fedex truck#its cold and i am sore and my teeth hurt because orthodontia#i want a nap#i dont know that a sign would work#i did think about it#but also its my goddamn multiple thousands of dollars worth of medicine#because hellscape where a chronic illness means you have to deal with more bullshit than non chronically ill people#which makes sense punish those sick fucks for being sick they obviously brought it on themselves#anyway point is i dont want to fuck around with it#i literally got married to afford this medication lmao#wish i hadnt now but also what could i have done?#how much after 5 do i wait....
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the fucking konjac
#changerion lb#this totally isnt an excuse to go on a little bit of a rant in the tags#(it is)#anyway - as a recovering addict (not from alcohol but still)#i cannot express how happy i am that it was the obviously nasty bad guy that killed the darkzide monster in this episode and NOT akira#this guy was shown to be meek and down trodden and just trying to cope with the horrible situation he was in#he was SEEKING OUT HELP#but his only avenue for help was the brutal fucking 'get better or i'll kill you' mentality from Gauzer and it didnt work in the slightest#idk where i'm really going with this#i just wanna say its comforting#seeing a show say that you gotta be a pretty nasty guy to think second chances are a limited resource#akira is constantly being given second chances (whether financially or with his friendships/relationships)#and i'm actually so so so happy that he didnt have to kill this particular monster#also i think it did a good job setting up Gauzer as a villain (i know i certainly dont like him very much lmao)#anyway enjoy the konjac screenshots
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Ignore the art mess on my desk, but I've low-key been working on a Laudna clay figurine for ages now (I started it pre-ep-33 lol) and the progress, while not finished (and I am unsure it ever will be tbh), is coming along nicely and I am proud and wanted to post a WIP, so!!
#turns out hands and faces are really hard to sculpt#ive changed ideas for what i wanted laudna to be doing like three times#originally it was puppeteering pâté. then puppeteering him but he breaks free and flies off#but i didnt know how to do that well without any sort of reference tbh#so i settled on a form of dread-ish pose#at some point im going to sculpt a veil but sculpting transparent-ish fabric in clay is h a r d#funny story tho: working on and off on this statue is what made me decide on sculpture as my major for school lmao#thank you laudna for that fkshsjskf#anyway i clearly have a lot to do but ive been working on it for almost a year so here is a WIP :)#(her belts and the hammer in her hair and maybe even pate idk. lots of lil things. lots of finishing touches etc etc)#fluffyapplecat arts
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okay im enjoying getting these dialogues i previously missed so much. literally astarion when you ask what? will you miss me: "HA!
why not!!!"
#yea dont look at me i started a new character and felt like shit going through all the stuff that i just walked past on my beloved character#so i just made my og character the exact same again and im doing the exact same route with him again VDKFJDJDJDKF#but now im gonna actually do all the stuff in the game bc before i didnt understand the game so i missed so much#i was gonna explain everything i felt but it got way too long so ill just say this instead:#im already getting so much fuller of an experience and i couldnt be happier#and i wanna play my new character (who i like) when i dont feel misersble doing it#im not someone whos precious abt their games like when its over thats it thats the canon story so this way works for me#i build it meticulously until im satisfied!#im still gonna make the same decisions. hes still gonna be the same deceitful little rat with delusions of grandeur#but now i just play out all the massive amounts of stuff i didnt know existed bc i didnt understand how to navigate the game#its gonna be tough to eat the tadpoles again and be cool to the dream visitor bc i HATE the emperor hdjdjdjf#but like i said first time around its absolutely what he would do bc hes convinced he can control it#to get back to the post itself LMAO im obv so happy to get all the astari0n dialogue i missed bc just with this one dialogue i missed#(bc i didnt know how to long rest well) im getting a much more fleshed out picture of his manipulation and its so great#im on tactician now so im hoping it will force me to long rest more so i miss less camp dialogue#anyway can you believe my previous attempt at these tags was even longer? lmao bye im off to enjoy the game however i please!
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